Tumgik
#evan townsend
izunias-meme-hole · 6 months
Note
I’m curious if Zack will form his own Team in his portions and who he will join up ? Would interesting if Dyne from Timeline actually joins up. Despite his hatered for all things Shinra and such.
Now that I think upon if... it would be interesting if Zack had his own "party" during his sections. Like I feel like Biggs being by his side would be nice, but that's now... unlikely.
As for the concept of Dyne joining up with him somehow, that would be interesting, but I doubt it'll happen. I honestly don't mind all to much because Dyne's good as he is, no need to dabble further unless the Remake Trilogy's team can pull it off in a nice way.
However there are a FEW characters I would see in Zack's party (If he's getting one), Aerith helping from the other side, Cissnei, Kyrie Cannan, Evan Townsend, Reeve/Cait Sith, Cid, maybe Vincent, and maybe Yuffie if she's still up and about in that time (I forgor). That would be everyone I have currently in mind.
It's not like I'm forgetting anyone who can possibly appear in Zack's sections somehow...
Tumblr media
No one at all.
24 notes · View notes
bylightofdawn · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Oh right, I forgot I was going to talk about this but holy fuckballs. Tseng is one scary motherfucker.
This entire situation is just one depressing, completely unecessary tragedy that ended in multiple people's deaths throughout the book where this greedy doctor tried running a scam on Evan's mom after he had heart surgery as a child. He claimed Evan would need brain surgery when he was older, quoted his mom an outrageous price and forgot about it.
She took him seriously, slaved away for YEARS trying to save up money for it, ended up taking a job with Shinra which lead to her actual DEATH. And then on top of it, he and his coworker told Evan's friend who ended up DYING because he was so scared for Evan and was just trying to get him to a doctor to save his life.
And like I said, fucking dies for it along with another person by trying to steal a helicopter from the Turks.
So Evan and Tseng find out about this and Tseng very calmly listens to this tale and then proceeds to beat the ever living shit out of the doctor with such cold detachment and brutality that woooooooof.
It's very chilling and yeah, Tseng is one scary motherfucker.
I also kinda love that Evan has been a bit of a soyboy this entire book. He started out SUPER unlikable as a character, very self-involved and moody and has gotten better but he's still not some badass.
And I appreciate he recognized the fact he has no place in Rufus and the Turks world.
Did I mention I enjoyed this book? It's not perfect and there's definitely some problems with it. The shifting POV's and the fact it goes from first person POV to third person POV is definitely a little jarring and the chapters are generally kinda short and definitely leaves you wanting more at times.. Last third of the plot got a little squirrely but I still enjoyed it and I got this baby that I'm going to start today.
Tumblr media
I'm very curious to see how it holds up to the fantranslated version.
NGL I kinda skimmed that a lot and wasn't overly interested in anything outside of Denzel's chapter (for Reeve), Barret's chapter and of course the Shinra chapter.
This I'm going to read cover to cover and I'll come back with my thoughts later.
7 notes · View notes
sometimesrufus · 5 months
Note
“That’s … a lot of blood, is that - oh, fuck.” from Evan
High pain tolerance meme
Tumblr media
"Yes," Rufus answered calmly, only a hint of a growl betraying just how badly a bullet to the shoulder hurt. It feels like someone has lit his whole upper right quadrant on fire and is slowly hammering a blunt nail into him at regular intervals.
"I'd appreciate it if you could first, find a couple of clean rags to help me staunch the bleeding, second get my cell phone out of my back pocket to call a Turk. I can't reach it right now." He was fairly certain he'd pass out if he tried.
6 notes · View notes
supercitofus · 7 months
Text
crazy and crazier moodboard
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
new fic aesthetic cuz it's more fun that actually writing it... anywyas to whoever said brodie townsend as Barty, ur real
179 notes · View notes
raspberryjars · 5 months
Text
looking at brodie townsend and can’t decide if he’s more evan or more barty
bc THIS is barty
Tumblr media
but THIS is sooo evan
Tumblr media
the duality of men ig
34 notes · View notes
lobbycards · 2 months
Photo
Tumblr media
A Soldier's Story, Spanish lobby card. 1984
2 notes · View notes
baeaisling · 1 year
Text
Happy Halloween from the Heartthrobs of the 00’s! 💀👻🎃
7 notes · View notes
tv-moments · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
Kaleidoscope
“Green”
Director: Robert Townsend
DoP: Niels Alpert
9 notes · View notes
lecliss · 1 year
Text
Now here comes the part where I huff soooooo much copium expecting another hint at Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo and more Deepground content. Deepground at least has a chance, but I can't see the triplets being hinted at again without the Whispers and who knows if those'll ever appear again since they were defeated. Well, Seph, I'm gonna need ya to make some kids REAL fast. I will die if I don't see my most specialist of boys in some way.
3 notes · View notes
dellanio · 1 year
Text
Missed Dellani's Tea Time live?
Listen at your leisure as we chat with author S Evan Townsend. He is the author of a variety of exciting and unusual books – among them Rock Killer, Agent of Artifice, Hammer of Thor and many more pulse racing tales. https://www.blogtalkradio.com/booksandentertainment/2023/06/14/books-entertainment-presents-dellanis-tea-time-with-s-evan-townsend
0 notes
tedsbogusworld · 4 months
Text
*₊ ° . ☆ KEANUVERSE
Tumblr media Tumblr media
keanu reeves himself
alex wyler
chris townsend
conor o’neill
david allen griffin
don john
donaka mark
donnie barksdale
eddie kasalivich
evan webber
evil ted
frank
hank
jack fenton
jack traven
jardani jovanovich (young john wick)
jjaks clayton
john constantine
john wall
john wick
jonathan harker
johnny silverhand
johnny utah
julian mercer
kevin lomax
marlon james
matt
michael riley
neo anderson
ortiz the dog boy
paul sutton
prince siddhartha
rupert marshetta
scott favor
shane falco
ted theodore logan
tex johnson
the dream
thomas anderson (pre-matrix neo)
tod higgins
tom ludlow
tommy warnecki
winston connelly
Tumblr media Tumblr media
33 notes · View notes
sometimesrufus · 5 months
Text
Continued @umbral-stigmata-unbound
"Calm down," Rufus ordered, forgetting he was dealing with someone unused to taking orders. The kid was mostly keeping it together, but the sight of him on the verge of a breakdown when he was the one hit was annoying.
"No, I want you to help me pin one between my shoulder and the wall, and give the other to me so I can keep pressure on it while you make the phone call." It was very clear that Evan did not have training for this, and bleeding out wasn't on his to-do list today.
He grit his teeth in preparation of the wave of pain that would hit when he readjusted, grunting even at Evan's weak attempt to help. He swatted him away and pressed down hard, his cry barely muffled by his tightly compressed lips.
Tumblr media
"Would you keep it down?" Rufus complained, loudly enough that he hoped his half-brother would hear him over his panic. He grunted as he readjusted himself against the wall. Slowly but surely, he was becoming more lightheaded. His gut roiled with nausea and the corners of his vision were going dark. "Actually, give me the phone." He needed to talk to someone with a level head before he passed out. The kid was going to send poor Reno into a panic.
3 notes · View notes
brokenfuturerpg · 1 year
Text
PBS FEMENINOS POR EDAD
Hola personitas. Venimos con un aporte que nos ha costado un tiempito reunir. Es posible que algunos PB tengan 1 añito más de lo que pone, porque igual cumplieron recién. Esperamos les guste ^^
-14
Evie Gardner (9)
Charlie Townsend (10)
Alexis & Ava McClure (10)
Everleight Souta (10)
Anniston Price (11)
Sienna Fizz (11)
Willow Morgan (11)
Blayke Busby (12)
Maya Le Clark (12)
Brooklynn Prince (13)
Kingston Foster (13)
Trinity Valenzuela (13)
14-17
River Woollard (14)
Isla Stanford (14)
Nuala Chee (14)
Shiloh Nelson (14)
Raegan Revord (15)
Sarah Dorothy Little (15)
Scarlett Estevez (15)
Cailey Fleming (16)
Indi Star (16)
Nicolette Durazzo (16)
Pressley Hosbach (16)
Priah Ferguson (16)
Havanna Winter (17)
Kristina Pimenova (17)
Mabel Chee (17)
McKenna Grace (17)
Ruby Rose Turner (17)
18-23
Dafne Keen (18)
Grace Vanderwaal (19)
Lily Chee (19)
Loreto Peralta (19)
Millie Bobby Brown (19)
Sissy Sheridan (19)
Anna CathCart (20)
Maddie Ziegler (20)
AmyBeth MnNulty (21)
Ava Michelle (21)
Billie Eilish (21)
Kaia Gerber (21)
Rowan Blanchard (21)
Sadie Sink (21)
Sophia Lillis (21)
Cara Taylor (22)
Iris Law (22)
Mackenzie Foy (22)
Meghan Roche (22)
Isabela Moner (22)
Yael Yurman (22)
Ester Expósito (23)
Kiernan Shipka (23)
24-29
Aitana Ocaña (24)
Amandla Stenberg (24)
Brec Bassinger (24)
Fran Summers (24)
Joey King (24)
Lani Baker (24)
Lily-Rose Depp (24)
Paris Berelc (24)
Sabrina Carpenter (24)
Ariel Winter (25)
Bella Thorne (25)
Elle Fanning (25)
Georgina Amorós (25)
Luna Bijl (25)
Maya Hawke (25)
Peyton List (25)
Sydney Sweeney (25)
Vittoria Ceretti (25)
Bella Hadid (26)
Camila Cabello (26)
Chloë Grace Moretz (26)
Ella Purnel (26)
Grace Elizabeth (26)
Hailee Steinfeld (26)
Jean Campbell (26)
Kylie Jenner (26)
Lana Condor (26)
Lili Reinhart (26)
Lisa Manoban (26)
Madelaine Arthur (26)
Maisie Williams (26)
Momo Hirai (26)
Odeya Rush (26)
Olivia Holt (26)
Pyper America Smith (26)
Shannon Purser (26)
Valentina Zenere (26)
Zendaya(26)
Abigail Breslin (27)
Anya Taylor-Joy (27)
Courtney Eaton (27)
Dove Cameron (27)
Dua Lipa (27)
Jennie Kim (27)
Karen Méndez (27)
Katherine McNamara (27)
Kelianne Stankus (27)
Kelly Berglund (27)
Kendall Jenner (27)
Lydia Graham (27)
María Pedraza (27)
Sarah Gilman (27)
Sophie Turner (27)
Birgit Kos (28)
Danna Paola (28)
Georgia Hirst (28)
Gigi Hadid (28)
Jisoo Kim (28)
Melanie Martinez (28)
Natalia Dyer (28)
Nicola Peltz (28)
Haley Lu Richardson (28)
Halsey (28)
Liana Liberato (28)
Tiera Skovbye (28)
Adele Exarchopoulos (29)
AnnaSophia Robb (29)
Barbara Palvin (29)
Camila Mendes (29)
Claudia Salas (29)
Cleo Massey (29)
Dakota Fanning (29)
Emilija Baranac (29)
India Eisley (29)
Julia Garner (29)
Letitia Wright (29)
Luma Grothe (29)
Madelaine Petsch (29)
Meghan Trainor (29)
Mina El Hammani (29)
Ritu Arya (29)
Saoirse Ronan (29)
Taissa Farmiga (29)
30-39
Alycia Debnam-Carey (30)
Ariana Grande (30)
Charlotte McKinney (30)
Debby Ryan (30)
Elizabeth Gillies (30)
Irina Isasia (30)
Linnea Berthelsen (30)
Miley Cyrus (30)
Naomi Scott (30)
Sofia Carson (30)
Cara Delevigne (31)
Demi Lovato (31)
Gaia Weiss (31)
Grace Phipps (31)
Josefin Asplund (31)
Karlie Kloss (31)
Kate Upton (31)
Kaya Scodelario (31)
Lali Espósito (31)
Madeline Brewer (31)
Mimi Doblas (31)
Selena Gomez (31)
Shailene Woodley (31)
Vanessa Morgan (31)
Emma Roberts (32)
Jasmine Tookes (32)
Kiko Mizuhara (32)
Malese Jow (32)
Sarah Hyland (32)
Willa Holland (32)
Ashley Benson (33)
Brie Larson (33)
Daveigh Chase (33)
Emma Watson (33)
Indiana Evans (33)
Jane Levy (33)
Jennifer Lawrence (33)
Jordan Claire Robbins (33)
Kristen Stewart (33)
Leven Rambin (33)
Margot Robbie (33)
Sophie Cookson (33)
Taylor Swift (33)
Blanca Suárez (34)
Candice Swanepoel (34)
Cariba Heine (34)
Coco Rocha (34)
Emma Greenwell (34)
Emma Stone (34)
Emmy Raver-Lampman (34)
Elizabeth Olsen (34)
Janel Parrish (34)
Kat Graham (34)
Lily Collins (34)
Lily James (34)
Lucy Hale (34)
Nathalie Emmanuel (34)
Nina Dobrev (34)
Melissa Benoist (34)
Phoebe Tonkin (34)
Riley Keough (34)
Úrsula Corberó (34)
Vanessa Hudgens (34)
Zoë Kravitz (34)
Adele (35)
Ana de Armas (35)
Blake Lively (35)
Claire Holt (35)
Gemma Ward (35)
Jessie J (35)
Karen Gillan (35)
Rihanna (35)
Tania Raymonde (35)
Vanessa Kirby (35)
Alba Flores (36)
Candice Accola (36)
Chiara Ferragni (36)
Ellen Page (36)
Emilia Clarke (36)
Holland Roden (36)
Lyndsy Fonseca (36)
Rose Leslie (36)
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (36)
Shay Mitchell (36)
Shelley Hennig (36)
Alexandra Daddario (37)
Amanda Seyfried (37)
Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey (37)
Camila Sodi (37)
Ilfenesh Hadera (37)
Irina Shayk (37)
Jameela Jamil (37)
Lady Gaga (37)
Lily Aldridge (37)
Leighton Meester (37)
Megan Fox (37)
Nathalie Kelley (37)
Pom Klementieff (37)
Ruby Rose (37)
Troian Bellisario (37)
Anna Kendrick (38)
Arden Cho (38)
Crystal Reed (38)
Diana Hoyos (38)
Doutzen Kroes (38)
Gal Gadot (38)
Isabel Lucas (38)
Jena Malone (38)
Katy Perry (38)
Keira Knightley (38)
Lana del Rey (38)
Laura Haddock (38)
Maggie Civantos (38)
Rooney Mara (38)
Scarlett Johansson (38)
Ashley Madekwe (39)
Gina Rodriguez (39)
Martha Higareda (39)
Olivia Wilde (39)
Paty Cantú (39)
Rachel Taylor (39)
Tessa Thompson (39)
Torrey DeVitto (39)
40-49
Alyssa Sutherland (40)
Anne Hathaway (40)
Emily Blunt (40)
Esther Acebo (40)
Gemma Chan (40)
Golshifteh Farahani (40)
Jamie Chung (40)
Katie McGrath (40)
Mila Kunis (40)
Miranda Kerr (40)
Nicky Minaj (40)
Alexis Bledel (41)
Anna Paquin (41)
Beyoncé (41)
Cobie Smulders (41)
Elisabeth Moss (41)
Hayley Atwell (41)
Kirsten Dunst (41)
Lauren Cohan (41)
Melissa Fumero (41)
Natalie Dormer (41)
Priyanka Chopra (41)
Bryce Dallas Howard (42)
Carrie Coon (42)
Genevieve Cortese (42)
Jenna Dewan (42)
Natalie Portman (42)
Stephanie Beatriz (42)
Hannah Simone (43)
Kristen Bell (43)
Rebel Wilson (43)
Sophia Myles (43)
Zooey Deschanel (43)
Bianca Lawson (44)
Claire Danes (44)
Evangeline Lilly (44)
Felicia Day (44)
Jennifer Morrison (44)
Jodi Lyn O’Keefe (44)
Maggie Q (44)
Rachel McAdams (44)
Rose Byrne (44)
Chelsea Peretti (45)
Cindy Sampson (45)
Danai Gurira (45)
Ginnifer Goodwin (45)
Katheryn Winnick (45)
Michelle Rodriguez (45)
Zoe Saldana (45)
Carice Van Houten (46)
Emily Deschanel (46)
Liv Tyler (46)
Lynn Collins (46)
Naomie Harris (46)
Shakira (46)
Elsa Pataky (47)
Isla Fisher (47)
Kate Winslet (47)
Marion Cotillard (47)
Milla Jovovich (47)
Paz Vega (47)
Reese Witherspoon (47)
Angelina Jolie (48)
Charlize Theron (48)
Christina Hendrix (48)
Drew Barrymore (48)
Eva Longoria (48)
Amy Adams (49)
Aishwarya Rai (49)
Elizabeth Banks (49)
Eva Mendes (49)
Lena Headey (49)
Penélope Cruz (49)
Victoria Beckham (49)
50-59
Gwyneth Paltrow (50)
Kristen Wiig (50)
Li Bingbing (50)
Vera Farmiga (50)
Najwa Nimri (50)
Sofía Vergara (51)
Winona Ryder (51)
Cara Buono (52)
Jennifer Connelly (52)
Melissa McCarthy (53)
Naomi Campbell (53)
Uma Thurman (53)
Queen Latifah (53)
Cate Blanchett (54)
Jennifer Aniston (54)
Jennifer Lopez (54)
Lucy Liu (54)
Naomi Watts (54)
Julia Roberts (55)
Lauren Graham (56)
Nicole Kidman (56)
Salma Hayek (56)
Pamela Anderson (56)
Helena Bonham Carter (57)
Robin Wright (57)
Sandra Bullock (59)
+60
Demi Moore (60)
Marcia Cross (61)
Julianne Moore (62)
Jamie Lee Curtis (64)
Michelle Pfeiffer (65)
Sharon Stone (65)
Geena Davis (67)
Sigourney Weaver (73)
Jessica Lange (74)
Meryl Streep (74)
Susan Sarandon (76)
Diane Keaton (77)
Hellen Mirren (77)
119 notes · View notes
morganwrites12672 · 4 months
Text
Welcome!
Hello! My names Morgan and on this blog I write. I also have a blog where I roleplay (@morgans-roleplay-blog ). And, everything else is on @morgans-an-idiot . Feel free to send a dm or an ask!
And, here's a link to my c.ai
𝕆𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 (the link to my new series)
Requests are currently: OPEN
My tag list form is right here: Tag List 
If a name is crossed out then I am temporarily not writing for them. List of characters I write for and other requesting details:
Supernatural: Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester
The Bear: Carmen Berzatto
911: Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz
The Inheritance Games: Jameson Hawthorne, Grayson Hawthorne, and Nash Hawthorne
The Naturals: Dean Redding and Michael Townsend
Also, if a character from the series/book is not listed, but the title is, you can still request for that character. It just might take me longer. And, here are fandoms that I also wrote for, but only sometimes. You can still request for them, but it may take a while.
Divergent, The Hunger Games, Stranger Things, Wednesday, and Shadow and Bone.
I do not write for any topics of Rape, SA, Incest, pedophilia, or stalking.
9 notes · View notes
cinnabonn12 · 2 months
Text
୨୧ Intro:
Disclaimer: I post way too much very regularly. This is because I currently have no life and enjoy escapism!! How exciting. Welcome other chronically online citizens :)
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
[Im copying my friends format for this bc she’s seems like she knows what she’s doing lol. I mean if ur interested you can read further, but like, it’s up to you lmao]
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
• So I’m in a lot of fandoms—sadly Im not an artist, but and I will gladly talk to anyone abt any of these in these if u would like :)
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
Fandoms:
୨୧┇A ton of anime I watched in 2020-22
Hunter X Hunter • Death Note • Yuri On Ice • Sk8 the Infinity • My Hero Academia • Attack on Titan • Demon Slayer • Saiki K • Ouran High School Host Club • Given • Jujutsu Kaisen • Black Butler • Banana Fish • Violet Evergarden • Haikyuu • and a few more random obscure ones :)
୨୧┇MCU (Loki)
୨୧┇SuperWhoLock (lol)
୨୧┇Hannibal
୨୧┇Good Omens (Crowley)
୨୧┇Our Flag Means Death
୨୧┇The Arcana
୨୧┇Gravity Falls (Bill Cipher)
୨୧┇The Owl House
୨୧┇MXTX (TGCF, MDZS, & SVSSS)
୨୧┇GHOST :333
୨୧┇WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE (Cecil 💜)
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
*I’m too lazy to put gifs in here like most ppl do so pretend there r pretty little gifs throughout that align w whatever my aesthetic is (idk)
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
Music:
*Also smt I post abt way too much
My main playlist if u like :)
୨୧┇Artists (in no particular order)
Ghost • The Sukis • Incubus • Interpol • The Smiths • The Cure • Depeche Mode • Mother Mother • Devin Townsend • Cigarettes After Sex • Linkin Park • Green Day • Smashing Pumpkins • Radiohead • Bo Burnham • Jack Stauber •The Beatles • The Police • America • Bring Me The Horizon • Atreyu • Drab Majesty • Beach House • and more I probably forgot
୨୧┇ Genres
I mean I’ll listen to whatever but I have my preferences—aka indie rock • dream pop • shoegaze • dark wave • new wave • gothic techno • prog/alt/folk/classic rock • symphonic/alt/prog metal • and theatre/broadway
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
Imaginary pretty gif here ~
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
Broadway Stuff:
• Les Miserables • Hamilton • Wicked • Phantom of The Opera • Hairspray • Cabaret • Harry Potter and The Cursed Child • Dear Evan Hansen • Come From Away • The Play That Goes Wrong • Beetlejuice • Six • My Fair Lady • Legally Blonde • Mean Girls • Hadestown • Mamma Mia • The Great Comet of 1812 • Sweeney Todd • Back to the Future • The Notebook • The Great Gatsby, and more bc it would take too long to list them all
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
make-believe pretty gif ~
⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣ ‧₊˚✧ ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣
Closing:
• Im also into photography, writing (fanfic), and a sport I don’t want to talk about unless I do lol. So yeah!! Well that’s a hell of a lot of info.
• Omg I love oversharing!! If you read it, I’m concerned for you bc that was not attention grabbing at all and ur probably stalking me which as an internet stalker like myself yk what? Go for it bro.
(PS: sometimes I loose my grip on my sanity and it shows…so uh keep that in mind? Idk I feel like that needed a mention considering how I am)
3 notes · View notes
jessicalprice · 2 years
Text
you got your known Minoans and your unknown Minoans (part one)
(reposted, with edits, from Twitter)
Tumblr media
Image: The famous “Ladies in Blue” Minoan fresco.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the Minoans. Everyone loves the Minoans, right?
(If you love the Minoans, you are not going to love this series of posts.)
Part One: The Case of the Very Victorian Goddess
Let’s start with a description of the pop culture perception of the Minoans: a peaceful ancient Greek culture with sophisticated, surprisingly modernist art, and extremely sophisticated technology like running water, who were lovers of beauty and peace.
So, I read Mysteries of the Snake Goddess: Art, Desire, and the Forging of History by Kenneth Lapatin. The author focuses on the (now, I believe, pretty thoroughly debunked) Boston Goddess, a supposedly Minoan ivory figurine of a snake-handling woman. She was an absolute SENSATION when she was first displayed.
Tumblr media
Image: The Boston Goddess
Sir Arthur Evans, the most famous archaeologist of the Minoan civilization, dubbed her the "Minoan ambassadress to the New World." She made a 1967 issue of Mademoiselle's list of "art sensations" alongside Rembrandt, Picasso, and Rodin. The Museum's monthly bulletin for Dec 1914 proclaimed her an icon of a "wonderful prehistoric civilization which, after having lain submerged, like the lost Atlantis, for three thousand years, has been brought to light again..." 
A comparison to Atlantis here is telling.
Victorian "race science" and Victorian occultism were inextricably linked, the latter demonstrating a passion for interpreting the myths of non-European cultures to reflect the ideas of the former. (Its descendants live on as Ancient Aliens theories, etc.) As archaeology became more popular and contact with ancient, sophisticated, and enduring civilizations such as those in India and China increased, white Europeans (especially the Brits) and Americans started to get uncomfortable.
So they started coming up with theories that hey, those people in the East who built all that amazing stuff, who were the "cradle of civilization," who invented the alphabet? They must have been taught by an even OLDER white civilization, now lost.
Tumblr media
Image: The Palace of Atlantis by Lloyd K. Townsend, late 19th century, everyone is very Nordic-looking.
Hence the passion for stories about Atlantis and other lost continents. It just couldn't be true that those non-Europeans were building bigger, more sophisticated civilizations long before most (northern) European civilizations built recognizable cities at all.
That longing for proof of ancient European cultural superiority was in the air when excavations of Minoan sites began.
We must have The Oldest Masters
Now, back to the Boston Goddess. Lacey Caskey, writing for the museum, noted that the statuette's distinctive posture "seems not to have been an artistic convention, but a feature of the actual appearance of this aristocratic race."
This aristocratic race. Oof. 
Lapatin observes, in the book, that "Minoan civilization was all the rage, for it seemed to provide Europeans with not only the roots of the ‘Golden Age of Greece,’ long considered the foundation of Western culture, but also a sophisticated early society in its own right, a rival to the 'Oriental' cultures of ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia--known as the cradle of civilization..." 
Victorian occultists, of course, tended to claim that their practices were derived from ancient Egyptian or Chaldean rituals. And again, even as they attempted to partake of the antiquity and sophistication of those cultures, they were also trying to prove that white people, or at least divine beings (rather than non-Europeans), built them. (It's always been a bit ironic to me that the Victorians clung to the idea of the superiority of Greece and Rome as the foundation for their ideas of the superiority of white people, while considering contemporary Greeks and Italians not fully white, but I digress.)
And lest you think that I'm hammering too hard on this point, some of the most prominent descriptions of Evans' finds praised the Minoan frescoes as "the Oldest Masters," and his work as proving the culture "bid fair rival to those of the Orient, and to give European Civilization an undreamed of antiquity." 
It's hard to overstate the degree to which the archaeological motivation here was European insecurity.
High-Bred Beauty (and I Am Not, Alas, Describing a Horse)
And why was the Boston Goddess herself such a sensation? Her "exquisite characterization of fragile beauty," her "delicate, high-bred beauty." She is "demure," and "full of resolute charm." Professor Ernest Gardner, at Yale, described her head as "recall[ing] rather the sculptures of Gothic cathedrals of the thirteenth centuries."
Or, to be more explicit and just say the quiet part out loud, her face has also been described as "Anglo-Saxon," "European-looking," "Victorian," "Edwardian," and "Parisienne."
To understand what they’re talking about, let’s do a little compare and contrast. Here are some examples of faces from figurines that, to the best of our knowledge, are actually from Crete c. 1500-1200 BCE.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And here’s a close-up of the Boston Goddess’s face:
Tumblr media
And here’s the face of a now-probably-debunked “Minoan” goddess at the Royal Ontario Museum (read more about her here):
Tumblr media
To cut to the chase, eventually they did radiocarbon testing on the Boston Goddess, and the ivory was found to date from between 1420 and 1635 CE. (Not BCE. CE. As in the Renaissance.) A similar figurine, the Seattle Boy God, is made from ivory that's about 500 years old. That in itself is pretty fascinating! They were using old ivory for the forgeries.
What do these proven and suspected fakes have in common? Well, among other things, their very Victorian facial features: inset eyes, small pouty mouths, delicate noses.
Spoiler for where I’m going with this: There are reasons why the Minoans were such an archeological craze, and those reasons are highly political. Because of the ways in which a very specific agenda shaped it, fakes that showed people what they wanted to see were accepted as real (and in some cases, are still sort of accepted as real), and we can't trust a lot of what we supposedly "know."
In Part 2: Bagging On Sir Arthur Evans Forever.
72 notes · View notes