#etc etc not looking to fight
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Thoughts below.
1.
"Look at how she holds her leister. See her arms? You should angle yours like so," I said to Kheeta. "Learn from her. She is the best we have."
"Then ask her to teach me," she replied.
I could not. I was not permitted to speak to any of them any longer, unless I swore off my vengeance. I said my final words to Khloa two suns ago. I bid farewell to my fellow hunters after the last dawn, half-hidden in the mist so that we could not see each other's faces. When the Sapphiric Sun rises next, I will tell my sister good-bye.
"I cannot," I said simply.
"In two nights," she said, sparing no thought towards learning fishing techniques, "I will leave some provisions in the tree-hollow we used to hide in. The taller one. I will wrap them in cloth and twine."
The blood of the dying fish ran down the spear-haft. My chest ached, as though a fire burned deep within; one that could only be quenched by blood.
"Save them for the clan," I chastised.
"No." She touched my hand. "I will want to know that you still live."
2.
I have trouble imagining how a single Abyss can divide Lubrae in two. It is possible that the Abyss is in fact a circular moat that surrounds the City, and Lubraeans' worldviews are oriented such that there are only two sides of the Abyss -- the City side, and the wilderness side. However, thinking about the amount of land that would need to be encircled to provide everything a "crowded" urban area needs is too complicated for me. Especially if fresh water is also needed. Hence, I have gone with "island".
The "perpetual sunlight" can also be achieved with an orbital mirror, but I feel like the destructive potential is not enough compared to a laser.
3.
I realised two things: one, that the beggar was once a Sta--a guard; and two, that he was older than Khloa. Than Kheesa. Older than any of my clan had ever lived to be. Our eyes met. One of his remaining ones was cloudy with a cataract. The insignia of the Regime rattled in his bowl.
"Does the Afeln belong to you?" I asked, pointing my chin towards the animal beside him.
"Yes. It is a good one. Very good."
"It's too old to hunt," I told him. "You should eat it."
My companion, not liking our exchange, marched me into the damp abode of the apothecary.
4.
Some outfit drawings.
I think I am warming up to the idea of certain parts of designs being Earthlike. It helps with the reframing of the story.
#long post#anjiandraws#rhulk#lubrae#the current framing of destiny's story is that there exists a powerful spacefaring entity#which travels to worlds inhabited by beings who are not capable of the same feats as itself#and provides its special technology for these beings to use. It is often celebrated for its gifts#which are often portrayed as positive for the lives of those from the host planet or system.#The one case where a host species had a negative outcome portrayed is one where they are described as lacking in wisdom#which along with the case where a member of the host species stated that he would rather that the entity not have visited his planet#are both villain origin stories.#Why this framing?#Are other framings possible?#etc etc not looking to fight#nudity /#destiny 2
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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for as much as I love and adore stories where the power of hope and friendship is a blinding wonderful light, full of happiness and ease and laughter, something hits different about the way hope, in ffxiv, looks like this
covered in blood and dirt and limping forward. It’s probably been said multiple times before but isn’t it a reassuring image to know that hope drags itself through the mud just as much as you do and keeps fighting when it can hardly stand. and amidst deepest despair, light everlasting
#endwalker spoilers#ffxiv#ffxiv spoilers#AAA SPOILERS AAAAAA. LOOKOUT ETC.#miss venat you have beautiful sans undertale eyes#scary image! this is hope and love!!! This is what love and light and the fight to live looks like! And I think that’s neat#I like her. I like that she lives forever and likes bunnies and windhounds and also murder is ok#and I like that sundering was about like. 3/4 for the good of the world and 1/4 Spite
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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Through the Looking Glass, Darkly
Summary:
“... Alright!” Impulse’s voice echoes over itself in a multi-layered choir, bouncing off half-ragged walls and burrowing in amongst the sculk. “Well, she could definitely use a bit of an updo, but… yeah! Here it is!” At the center of Forgery's former lair, ravenous fingers have already punched their way into stone, scrawling up the vaulted walls in strange, fungal swoops—letters without language, glyphs without meaning. Hemmed in by something akin to thick, yellow limestone, the malignant mixture in the cistern below them undulates in time with every echo—and when Gem peers into it, locks her gaze with that yearning abyss, her skin begins to crawl. Impulse had called it the Catalyst. Gem calls it for what it really is: Hungry.
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[ MERCH ] [ MISC ]
Hey gang!! Today's posting day for my solo piece for @hotguycomiczine, so here it is!! I hope you guys enjoy it, ive worked super hard not just on the fic but also on the formatting and picture that ive made to go along with it!!! 💀💀💀💀 yeah i uh. i edited and then drew over that to make it look like sculk. yeah i did that all on my phone last night. you can imagine how bad my neck hurts right now
as always, reblogs are deeply appreciated, and comments on ao3 or in the tags will earn you my undying gratitude and also this free sculk sample over here shhhh dont question it just take it<3 i hope you guys like the new formatting style im trying out, and of course the fic itself!! enjoy!!! :DD
#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#impulsesv#impulse#hermitcraft#hotguy comics zine#mcyt#mcyt fic#hgcz#fanfic#shouting speaks#I WANT TO RAMBLE ABT MY WRITING CHOICES BUT ON GODS THE ENTIRE POSTING PROCESS HAS TAKEN ME.#AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING HERE. A FULL 4 HOURS#im losing my mind ive been fighting for my life in the image editing trenches 😭😭😭😭😭#so im not looking at this anymore it is here neow<3 godspeed go my scarab etc etc etc#mwah mwah hope u guys like this i put SO much effort into it#my fics#lnk
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If Junko’s ghost varies on who sees her and how they perceived her, wouldnt the ghost that Kazuichi sees be extremely powerful? Considering his personality and how scared he normally is.
I don't think the appearance changes so much as the vibe and perhaps setting. It IS based on how differently people can see the same person, so it's more about the reaction one would subconsciously have to seeing it. Kaz would instantly recognize her as strong, scary, beautiful and cruel, because that is where his mind goes when he's reminded of her. If it's a "ghost", it's already in your head and not physical, so all you can see is what your mind lets you.
#God I love ghosts and haunting and the brain fuckery of it all. Anyway.#Its like.... have u ever had a song that you think is happy and someone else thinks is sad? You hear what your brain lets you#So in this case you also experience only what your brain lets you. On canvas it's only a rather silly looking girl#But fx. Kazuichis brain would be blasting with 'DANGER' 'FAWN AND PANIC' 'DONT FIGHT BACK' etc#At the speed of light too. That's why it takes practice to stop the immediate fear response#not an art
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i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)
#geeta methodically puts on all her jewelery before going out as spiderwoman <3 u cant fight crime if u are not cute#spidersona#of sorts? i think but everyone should have expected this from me. there was no way sony was going to give me spiderman india#and not receive spiderwoman nepal (THE KATHMANHATTAN JOKE IS TOO EASY) in response#im tackling south asian unity one spidersona at a time!#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman#my art#also ofc one specific mention to demigod-of-the-agni who inadvertently triggered my actual posting of geeta#who was just supposed to stay in my psd files forever.....#mythic mumbattan au my beloved. hindu mythology my beloved. genuinely so so cool to see and it enabled me being self indulgent on this blog#for some extra context: im very much still workshopping her and me and my nepali friend were drawing her tgt#as in she would say something and i would hurriedly scribble/sketch it down#and then i kept kinda building on it. ofc i could not resist being inspired by the comics noirverse#so here she's also gifted her powers by a goddess (durga!!!!!) and almost works w her like a much less deranged moon knight. yeah...#don't look too closely at these pls . the design/sketching/etc is kind of everywhere#edit: forgot to adjust colors so theyre up again and a little more vibrant nyeow....
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Forewarning: Gay Mike talk skip if you want
Not to be that person in 2024 that pride gifset did it to me but I still genuinely do not understand how the "girls being girls was never a problem for Mike" argument came to be, considering THIS the show's Mike talking about, learning about, confessing to and just being around spaces re: girls:
note: this isn't even touching any of the moments we see hints that he's into boys—JUST the moments where we see his displeasure with/disinterest in engaging with girls (or commentary by other guys who are interested in them). Will, a confirmed gay character, doesn't even have this many reminders of his lack of interest in girls.
Once is a coincidence. Twice is a pattern. Twelve times without real effort to pull every example? and I didn't even include him taking a girls hands off him while kissing or the four other times they kissed eyes open or hidden? Iet's be so serious lmao
#note one: go fight with a wall if you want a debate because I will not engage you. blocked and reported etc etc#with that said#headcanons and 'oh the lights' are fun and all but at the end of the day...where is this attraction to women. I would TRULY like to see it#every time I see arguments for a mike who likes girls its always because they don't want el to be hurt + like elmike or are bi themselves#and the evidence for it demands you just gloss over how much he doesn't give a shit about girls AS girls 900% of the time#idk how many fics and art look good...the mike who is attracted to women does not exist in the canon of the show at this point#it was a one way sign for a reason i'm sorry lmao#my st commentary#mike wheeler#gay mike wheeler#stranger things#the me tag
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hey no wait. hang on, wait. wenjing is like, explicitly the secret sword, right, the one basically no one knew about, it's part of the reason the court is like 'mmk seems legit' when fang doubing is like ~I am totally for real his disciple~ because he knows about the sword at all
but li xiangyi/lianhua is clearly like. practiced at using the sword, which does not move like basically...any other weapon. that man has spent a fuck lot of time training to and straight up developing how to use a sword that is basically the most unswordlike sword to ever sword. that sword is like a slap bracelet with bladed edges that can also cut through....anything? nearly anything?? it does not move or react like your standard mostly rigid bar of folded metal sword, is the gist here.
which brings me to two, semi-related, points:
when saintess rocks up to steal di feisheng from the zombie cave and also is like 'I'm going to kill you uh actually lol nope fuck that I'm outtie peace bitches', is that literally the first time she's even got a hint that li xiangyi/lianhua has a sword that is basically nigh impossible to block because it can straight up bend around obstacles? (obstacles such as, say, anyone else's sword) if yes, no fucking wonder she's like mmmm I see no thank you I need to go wash my di feisheng's hair, so busy, catch you later because like. how the fuck do you even deal with that. a guy who should have been horribly and messily dead literally a decade ago rocks up and is like 'I lived bitch! also surprise, I have a sword made of glowing Go-Fuck-Yourself metal', like, I too would fucking split! you would only be able to find me by the cartoon dust cloud left in my wake. RIP to everyone else in the jianghu but saintess is making the objectively correct choice here, which is wild because, like. saintess.
how many people's last fucking moment was seeing throat cutter, probably glowing and covered in their blood? because like. Li xiangyi clearly used it! enough to be good at using it. enough to know that it glows blue when there's blood on it, even if he apparently was just like sometimes swords just glow for reasons I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. so. if no one outside of sigu sect high command knows that wenjing exists*, that means everyone else who ever saw that sword -- which there has to have been people, given that li xiangyi was out there uhhh using it -- those people who saw it presumably also uh. died. in a pretty confirmed kinda way. likely via....that sword. throat cutter** indeed
*and not even all of the inner sigu sect command folks knew about li xiangyi having it! they're pretty explicit that five people total know about the sword, which is the four court heads, and then presumably either qiao wanmian or xiao zijin, but not both of them (which, lmao, what the hell were sigu sect internal politics for real), and even that's if we assume shan gudao is not being included in the count because he's "dead"
**yes I know it's a reference to a friendship/relationship you'd cut your throat for per @murderedbyhomework's recent great meta, but also, like. it's still a cut throat, y'know? words can have multiple meanings, and also this is mostly a pun on the name. the rest of the post stands as is tho.
#mysterious lotus casebook#li xiangyi#look I know it's a staple of the genre and etc#but also. li xiangyi is a straight up ruthless little fucker and I just feel like sometimes that gets a little glossed over#man has a secret second sword. absolutely insane.#(also sidebar I feel like there's somehting about how di feisheng's dao is Notably Fucking Weird#and li xiangyi's sword is. Also Notably Fucking Weird.#but everyone knows that di feisheng's sword is Fucking Weird#or at least. you do if you're looking. he's not hiding that.#he's built his whole fighting style around how Fucking Weird his sword is#and only a few people know that li xiangyi also has a Weird Sword and that sword is otherwise explicitly secret#like idk. the parallels or whatever.)#(also haha di feisheng literally the only person in the world for like. a decade.#who's faced wenjing and lived to talk about it afterwards)#waters words
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Treatise on why No, the doctor just giving the narrator of Fight Club (full name) his requested sleep medication or sending him to therapy would not have Fixed Him
Firstly, saying giving him the insomnia meds would’ve fixed him ignores the reason he has insomnia in the first place. He is so deeply upset by his place in society that he literally cannot sleep. Drugging him to sleep would not change that. That, of course, is the easy, quick response.
But with regard to therapy? The biggest flaw is that it ignores a central tenet of the book. Part of what tortures the narrator and drives him to invent Tyler is that his feelings about this collective, systemic issue are constantly reduced to a Just Him thing. His seatmates ask what his company is. He’s the only one upset at the office. He gets weird looks if he says the truth of what he does. People will do anything in their power to pretend he is the issue, as an individual, because it is far scarier to consider the full implications of the systemic issues implied by what he is saying. Everyone treats it as if the issue is him, so he goes insane. He does anything to get someone to say, holy shit, that’s fucked up, what you’re a part of is wrong. In an attempt to feel any sort of vague sympathy and catharsis, he goes to support groups to pretend to be dying, because then at least people don’t habitually blame him for his anguish.
Saying therapy would fix him ignores that his problems are not individual. They are collective. It’s the reason the entire story resonates with people! Something deeply, unignorably wrong with society, where people would rather blame you for bringing it up than try and address it, because it feels impossible. I don’t blame people for this, really, because it IS scary. It’s terrifying to sit and feel like you’ve realized there’s something deeply, deeply wrong, but if you say something, people will get mad at you since it’s so baked into everything around you. Or, even if they agree, it’s easier to deal with the dissonance by pretending it’s individual.
And it’s not like that’s not the purpose therapy and medications largely serve, anyway. Getting into dangerous territory for this website, but ultimately, the reason the narrator was seeking medication was because it’s a bandaid. A very numbing bandaid. For these very large, dissonance causing problems, therapy does very little. Medications do what they always have, and distract you with numbness or side effects. It’s a false solution. He is seeking an individualized false solution because he has been browbeaten with the idea that this is an issue with him alone, when it's plainly clear it's not.
Don't get me wrong. Obviously he has something wrong with him. But it's a product of his situation. It is a fictional exaggeration of a very real occurrence of mental illness provoked by deep unconscionable dissonance and anguish. There is a clear correlation between what happens and his mental state and his job and how isolated he is.
The thing is, even if he were chemically numbed, I do think he would’ve lost it regardless. Many people on meds find they don’t fix things. For reasons I’ll get into, but in this case because even if numbed or distracted, once you’ve learned about deep, far reaching corruption in society, it’s very hard to forget. Especially if, in his case, you literally serve as the acting hand of this particular variety. He’s crawling up the walls.
So why do people say this? Well, it's funny I guess. Maybe the first time or whatever. But also, often, they believe it, to a degree. Maybe they've just been told how effective therapy and meds are for mental illness, they believe wholeheartedly in The Disease Model of Mental Illness, maybe they themselves have engaged with either and have considered it successful. Maybe they or someone they know has been 'saved' by such treatments.
But in all honesty.... What therapy can help with is mentality, it's how you approach problems. For issues on a smaller scale, not meaning they are easier to deal with my any degree, but ones that are not raw and direct from deep awareness of corruption; these are things that can be worked through if you get lucky and get an actually good therapist who helps build up your resiliency. But when your issue is concrete, something large and inescapable? It's useless. At best it can help you develop coping mechanisms, but there is a limit for that. There is a point where that fails. To develop the ability to handle something like this requires intense development of a comfort with ambiguity and dissonance and being isolated and a firm positioning of your purpose and values and and belief in wonder and all the other shit I ramble about. The things that the narrator lacks, which lead him to taking an ineffectual death knell anarchist self-destruction path. Therapy, where the narrator is, full of the knowledge of braces melted to seats and all the people that have to allow this to happen? It fails.
And meds — meds are a fucking scam. We know the working mechanism of basically none of them, the serotonin receptor model was made up and paid its way into prominence. We have very little evidence they're any better than placebo, and they come with genuinely horrific side effects. Maybe you got lucky. I did, on some meds. On others? I don't remember 2018. The pharmaceutical industry is also known for rampant medical ghostwriting, and for creating 'off-label' uses for drugs that have gained too many protests in their original use, then creating a cult of use to then have 'grassroots' campaigns for it to be made a label use (ie, legitimize their ghostwritten articles with guided anecdotes).
The DSM itself is basically a marketing segregation plot. It's an attempt to legitimize the disease model by isolating subgroups of symptoms to propose individualized treatments for subgroups that are not necessarily all that separate. But if the groups exist, you can prescribe more and different medications, no? Not to mention, if you use the disease model, you can propose that these diseases are permanent, or permanent until treated, considered more and more severe to offset and justify the horrific side effects of the medications. Do you know why male birth control doesn't really exist? Same reason. They can justify all the horrible side effects for women, because the other option is pregnancy. For men, it's nothing.
And they're not bothering to invent new drugs without side effects. When they invent new drugs it's just because the last one got too bad of a name, or they can enter a new market. Modern drugs don't work any better than gen1 drugs. They still have horrific side effects. At best, the industry will shit out studies saying the old one was flawed (truth) so they can say this new gen will be better (lie). They're doing it with ssris right now.
Fundamentally, the single proposed benefit of any of these drugs is that they numb you. To whatever is torturing you. It's harder to be depressed if you can't feel it, or if you just can't muster the same outrage. Of course, there is people who find that numbness to be helpful, or worth it. But often, it's stasis. For the people who have problems that can be worked on, it serves as a stopgap to not actually work on said problems. The natural outcome of the disease model is stagnation for those whose need is to develop skills and resiliency. It keeps them medicalized and dependent on the idea that they're diseased and incapable. Profitable. Stuck in the womb.
I’ve been there. It’s easier, to wallow, and resist growth because it’s difficult and painful and unfair and cruel and you can think of five billion reasons to justify your languishing. But don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re just permanently damaged, no matter how nicely they word it, no identity or novel pathologization, no matter how many benefits they promise, especially if they swear up and down some lovely expensive medications with little solid backing and plentiful off-label usage and side effects that’ll kill you. Some days it feels like they want us all stuck in pods, agoraphobic and addicted to the ads they feed us to isolate the markets for the drugs they’ve trained us to beg them to pump us with. Polarization making it as easy as flashing blue light for go, red like for stop, or vice versa. I worry about the kids, for fucks sake. That’s a bit dark and intense, and I apologize. But I want you (generic) to understand, there is a profit motive. Behind everything. And they do not mean well. They do not care about your mental health or your rights or your personhood or your growth. They care about how they can profit off of you.
For those struggling with immovable, society problems, like the narrator grappling with how his job fits into and is accepted by society while his rejection and horror in the face of it does not, it can work about as well as any other drug addiction. Your mileage may vary. From what I've seen, recovering from being on prozac for a long time can be worse than alcohol. They put kids on this shit. They keep campaigning for more. Off label, again. A pharmaceutical company’s favorite thing to do has to be to spread rumors of someone who knows someone who said an off label use of this drug helps with this little understood condition. Or, in the case of mental illness, questionably defined condition. And like, damn, I know I'm posting on the 'medicalization is my identity' website so no one will like all this and has probably stopped reading by now, but yall should be exposed to at least one person who doubts this stuff. Doesn't just trust it. Because I mean, that's the thing right?
It's so big. What would it mean, for this all to be true? Yeah, everyone says pharmaceutical companies are evil and predatory and ghostwriting, but to think about what that really entails. Coming back to the book, everyone knows the car lobby is huge and puts dangerous vehicles through that kill people. What does it mean if the car companies all hire people to calculate the cost of a recall and the cost of lawsuits? No one wants to think about the scale that means for people allowing it or the systems that have to be geared towards money, not safety like they say. Hell, even Chuck misses the beat and has the narrator threaten his boss with the Department of Transportation. And shit, man, if every company is doing this, you think Transportation doesn't know? That they give a fuck? You're better off mailing all the evidence to the news outlets and hoping they only character assassinate you a little bit as they release the news in a way that says it's all the fault of little workers like you, not the whole system. Something something, David McBride, any whistleblower you feel like, etc.
So I don't blame you, if your reaction is "but but but, that can't be right, people wouldn't do it, they wouldn't allow it" or just an overwhelming feeling of dread that pushes you to deny all of this and avoid thinking about it. Just know, that's in the book. That's all the seatmates on the flights. That's all his fellow officemates. It's easier to pretend, I know.
But think about, how the response fits in with the themes of the book. The story, as a movie too. What drives the narrator’s mental breakdown? How would you handle being in his position? How would you handle being his seatmate? It’s easy to say you’d listen. But have you? Have you had any soul wrenching betrayals of how you thought society worked? How about a betrayal by the thing that promised to be the fix of the first? Can you honestly say you wouldn’t follow that gut instinct, saying follow what everyone says, that person must just be crazy, evil, rude, cruel, whatever it is that means you can set what they said aside?
For a lot of people, they can do that, I guess. Set it aside. Reaching that aforementioned state of managing to cope with the dissonance and ambiguity and despair is very hard. The narrator made the Big Realization, but he couldn’t cope. He self-destructed. Even when people don’t make the big realization consciously, they’re already self-destructing. It’s hard to escape it when it feels easier than continuing anyway. When it feels like the only option,
Would therapy fix the narrator of Fight Club? Would meds fix the narrator of Fight Club? No. He knows too much. All meds will do, by the time he’s in the psych ward, is spiritually neuter him. A silly phrase, but really. Take the wind out of his sails.
Is he fixed if he doesn’t try to blow up town? If he just shuts up and settles in and stops costing money? If he still can’t cope with the things he’s unearthed? Do you see how this is a commentary in a commentary in a commentary?
Fight Club is an absolutely fascinating story because of this. The fact that it addresses the fallout of knowing. The isolation. The hopelessness. The spiral that results from a lack of hope. This is, I think, what resonates most with people, even if not consciously. Going insane because you’ve discovered something you wish you could unknow. It’s a classic horror story. Should our society be lovecraftian evil? I don’t think so.
Do I think changing it will be easy? No. Lord knows a lot exists to push people who make these sorts of Realizations towards feelings of individuality and individualized solutions and denial and other distractions and coping methods. And to prevent people who make One realization from expanding on it and considering further ramifications. Fight Club itself gets into this; the isolation of men being a strict part of the role society shapes for their sex leaves them very vulnerable to death fetishes, in a sense, and generally towards self destructive violence. It helps funnel them away from substantial change and towards ineffectual change. Many things, misogyny, racism, serve to keep people isolated from one another, individualized, angry, and impossible to work with. Market segregation; god knows even appealing on those fronts has become such a classic ploy that companies do it now, the US military frames its plundering that way, etc.
I’ve wandered a bit but ultimately, my point is this: Fight Club is a love letter to the horrors of critical thinking, and the importance of not falling into the trap of self destruction and hopelessness in the face of it. The latter is why Tyler was an anarchoterrorist instead of anything useful. The latter is why it was a death cult. It’s important to work through the horrors of critical thinking so you can do it, and stand on the other side ready to believe in each other. It’s worth it.
#fight club#my writing#uh. sorta#If you disagree with me it's fine btw. That's a given for me but I realize that's not usual for this website#my big desire is always to provoke thought and get people to think about why they think things#not necessarily to get them to agree with me. though obviously like any person i enjoy that#it was nice to type this out#also#aside from the prozac withdrawals mention and my own experience w memory loss (hilariously not even the most major of my beefs with the#medical industry! or even just the mental health industry! but its an easy nonoffensive one so#anyway i kept it nonspecific because if you go specific it becomes easier for people to just go 'oh well its That that's the problem and i#dont need to reflect at all on my drug/condition/issue/etc'#which ppl will anyway ofc. but yk#maybe theyll find it easier to ignore without the horrific specific examples but i want to leave it broad because 1. doing research and#going past the first thing you find and confirmation bias stuff is good 4 u#second. it's better imo to leave it more open for people to try and apply it broadly#whew ANYWAY#a bonafide Rant#i shouldve put#anti psychiatry#in the first few tags. i havent really looked on tumblr to see what the community 4 that is like on here because it feels like an oxymoron#on this website#but im sure it probably exists even if its used for smth else#(please change)
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finding a pair of sunglasses i like is a MIRACLE and god was in the room with me. ❤️💋 + outfit for today when i wasn’t planning on going out 🙃
#i felt kind of not cute bc i looked ‘fat’ then i realized nobody gaf this is the body i have and i luv it 🙂↕️#plus being fat isn’t even bad etc etc i fight battles in my head everyday etc etc#ignore my fucked up nail polish i’m just letting it peel instead of removing it properly bc i don’t care
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... The poem may be an elegy for childhood losses.
(On Dream Song 29, Thomas Travisano)
#myart#hollyleaf#power of three#warrior cats#MY MAGNUM OPUS!!!#AUGHHHHHRHGHHHHHHH#GUYS. DREAM SONG 29. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#okay here are all the details: ��if he had a hundred years’ with the mountains is supposed to bring to mind the ancients#everyone is supposed to be faceless except for holly. on the second pace the bottom 3 silhouettes are leaf crow and squirrel#and their eyes are white with colored iris to look even MORE uncanny. the fire cuts across holly’s throat foreshadowing her death#the entire second page with the fire is showing how this once event has completly collapsed her life it’s everywhere she can’t escape it#lightning on 3rd page also represents the storm. and the fact that holly was scared of storms after the fire with is so :(#i also imagine holly used to be a lot lighter gray as a kit/paw with tabby markings. just personal hc#ashfur killing scene again you don’t see the action you don’t even see her face just the aftermath. she wasnt there it didnt happen. etc#the leaf has the tufts of her fur that were in his claws from the fight the only ‘evidence’ of it happening.#and the last two shots show her alone in the tunnel dreaming of her family (squirrel bramble fire sand leaf and lion and jay)#vs lion and jay. and the prophecy. who don’t even stop to grieve her because they’ve found the 3rd cat. nobody is ever missing
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carlos? praising charles unreservedly? who is this man. did he realize the lecfosi will back him in war if he’s willing to be an ally
#sainz camp sitting 55 down like ‘look at your greatest haters trying to fight the stewards for you’#maybe the Williams ordeal has just…mellowed him out…idk#I’m not complaining being at war is exhausting thank you for the truce mr smooth operator vamos etc etc#……….. okay. this is not an anti post but the energy is neutral at best#apologies 55s I COME IN PEACE#carlos sainz#(NOT DEROGATORY)#charles leclerc#scuderia ferrari
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imagine if the federation tried to make a phoenix with birdperson's daughter wouldn't that be fucked up hahaha < insane
like father like daughter.
(pr0/c0mship dni)
#Rick and Morty#rick n morty#rnm#ram#fanart#Birdperson#Birddaughter#bird person#bird daughter#phoenixperson#phoenixdaughter#phoenix person#birdrick#if you squint#ive had this idea for a long time i hope no one beat me to it#ive doodled her a little but i was DYINGGG to make her a full design so . behold#rick and morty oc#angst#i tried to make it look like bp got his ass kicked in a fight with her before eventually shutting her down . if that wasnt obvious#i have lots of Thoughts for why i made her design the way i did so feel free to ask :p#blood#cyborg#something something parallel to rick projecting all of his negative experiences onto beth and continuing the cycle of abuse etc#compared to bp who tried his best but his kid was doomed to fail being the child of a criminal and the leader of the federation#my original caption for this was 'birdpersons worst nightmare'. because imagine seeing via ur best friend#the kind of negative effects that letting your past control your life can have. so you vow to do better for ur future family#only to watch your kid end up JUST. LIKE. YOU. especially all the parts of you you didnt want her to be#and having to wonder if it was your fault. IDK IM INSANE IM CRAZY birddaughter best charatcer i need her back </3#cloudysarts
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one other thing that really makes me roll my eyes in dc fics is the insistence that the bats can take down anyone, even their most op teammates. like... you guys know a character doesn't have to be the most physically capable one in the room in order to be interesting or strong in their own right, right? look me in the eye. cass had to save tim from shrike. bane broke bruce's back. mind-controlled kon snapped tim's arm like a twig. trying to make them ~always~ able to counter even the most powerful opponents is so boring im sorry like they can and do lose fights sometimes, and that's interesting actually. they are all incredibly competent martial artists, yes! that doesn't mean they can win every single matchup. that's simply neither the point of nor the strength in their characters.
#like ppl who insist that tim could solo the rest of core four#or that bruce could solo the jl. etc#look me in the eye and tell me that this regular human man (any of them) could beat starfire in a fight.#of course there's elements such as strategy and traps and knowing the environs etc etc#but overall just like. as a general concept. so goddamn annoying#im sure canon does this sometimes too but like. the way the fanon version makes non-bat characters look so stupid...#sorry i just remembered some fic that had a throwaway line like oh of course tim could take kon in an actual fight--#like what do you mean of course. no the fuck he couldn't. tim is some guy. kon is an invulnerable telekinetic alien. i hate you people#he doesn't have to be able to win every single fight in order to be interesting or competent!!! (any of them!!)#next thing you know there's gonna be people insisting bruce could solo superboy prime if he just had enough ~preparation time~#rimi talks
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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)
- explanation & w/o text:
Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!
First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.
Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.
Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.
Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.
About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.
I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")
I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.
#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse#this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best#it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days#like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing#but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it#i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference#like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want#ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs#and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic#basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari#but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari#and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m#a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him#so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#vettonso#bond au
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