#etc etc not looking to fight

[anjian]

Thoughts below.

1.

"Look at how she holds her leister. See her arms? You should angle yours like so," I said to Kheeta. "Learn from her. She is the best we have."

"Then ask her to teach me," she replied.

I could not. I was not permitted to speak to any of them any longer, unless I swore off my vengeance. I said my final words to Khloa two suns ago. I bid farewell to my fellow hunters after the last dawn, half-hidden in the mist so that we could not see each other's faces. When the Sapphiric Sun rises next, I will tell my sister good-bye.

"I cannot," I said simply.

"In two nights," she said, sparing no thought towards learning fishing techniques, "I will leave some provisions in the tree-hollow we used to hide in. The taller one. I will wrap them in cloth and twine."

The blood of the dying fish ran down the spear-haft. My chest ached, as though a fire burned deep within; one that could only be quenched by blood.

"Save them for the clan," I chastised.

"No." She touched my hand. "I will want to know that you still live."

2.

I have trouble imagining how a single Abyss can divide Lubrae in two. It is possible that the Abyss is in fact a circular moat that surrounds the City, and Lubraeans' worldviews are oriented such that there are only two sides of the Abyss -- the City side, and the wilderness side. However, thinking about the amount of land that would need to be encircled to provide everything a "crowded" urban area needs is too complicated for me. Especially if fresh water is also needed. Hence, I have gone with "island".

The "perpetual sunlight" can also be achieved with an orbital mirror, but I feel like the destructive potential is not enough compared to a laser.

3.

I realised two things: one, that the beggar was once a Sta--a guard; and two, that he was older than Khloa. Than Kheesa. Older than any of my clan had ever lived to be. Our eyes met. One of his remaining ones was cloudy with a cataract. The insignia of the Regime rattled in his bowl.

"Does the Afeln belong to you?" I asked, pointing my chin towards the animal beside him.

"Yes. It is a good one. Very good."

"It's too old to hunt," I told him. "You should eat it."

My companion, not liking our exchange, marched me into the damp abode of the apothecary.

4.

Some outfit drawings.

I think I am warming up to the idea of certain parts of designs being Earthlike. It helps with the reframing of the story.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

soon it'll be dawn again

transcript under the cut ⏬

page 01

Fig: no way? - you're still up?

Riz: Wh– yes?

Riz: Why'd I not be.

page 02

Fig: I me~~ean - that took.

Fig: whole day.

Riz: Yeah?

Fig: 'm beat.

Riz: you should sleep.

page 03

Fig: nah. my guy's still up

Fig: I wanna hang out.

page 04

Riz: That's really nice.

Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.

Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.

page 05

Fig: yeah, but you do it…

Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.

Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.

page 06

Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.

Riz: … - mm.

page 07

Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.

Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.

page 08

Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.

Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now… 

page 09

Fig: Hey.

Riz: ?

Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.

page 10

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)

Fig: o yea.

Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.

page 11

Fig: here u go

page 12

Riz: uh

Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.

Fig: I'll show u

page 13

Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try

Riz: uh - What. do I carve?

Fig: anything!!!

page 14

Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?

Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?

Fig: haha - watch this.

(sound effect text): FWOO—MP

page 15

Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???

Fig: Now it's fired!

Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE

Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)

Fig: ok catch!

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!

Fig: dw no need haha

page 16

Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…

Fig: now I want you to throw this.

page 17

Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon

page 18

Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now

Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise

Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?

Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u

Riz: but

page 19

Fig (off screen): RIz.

page 20

Fig: I've done all this before.

Fig: Can you trust that at least?

page 21

Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.

page 23

Riz: okay what happens now

(sound effect text): glob

page 24

Fig: we do it again!

page 25

Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)

Fig: see! you're already learning

Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.

Fig: Things change.

page 26

Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist

Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.

page 27

Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.

page 28

Fig: So?

page 29

Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.

[fisherrprince]

for as much as I love and adore stories where the power of hope and friendship is a blinding wonderful light, full of happiness and ease and laughter, something hits different about the way hope, in ffxiv, looks like this

covered in blood and dirt and limping forward. It’s probably been said multiple times before but isn’t it a reassuring image to know that hope drags itself through the mud just as much as you do and keeps fighting when it can hardly stand. and amidst deepest despair, light everlasting

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[definitelynotshouting]

Through the Looking Glass, Darkly

Summary:

“... Alright!” Impulse’s voice echoes over itself in a multi-layered choir, bouncing off half-ragged walls and burrowing in amongst the sculk. “Well, she could definitely use a bit of an updo, but… yeah! Here it is!” At the center of Forgery's former lair, ravenous fingers have already punched their way into stone, scrawling up the vaulted walls in strange, fungal swoops—letters without language, glyphs without meaning. Hemmed in by something akin to thick, yellow limestone, the malignant mixture in the cistern below them undulates in time with every echo—and when Gem peers into it, locks her gaze with that yearning abyss, her skin begins to crawl. Impulse had called it the Catalyst. Gem calls it for what it really is: Hungry.

[ START | PREVIOUS | NEXT ]

[ MERCH ] [ MISC ]

Hey gang!! Today's posting day for my solo piece for @hotguycomiczine, so here it is!! I hope you guys enjoy it, ive worked super hard not just on the fic but also on the formatting and picture that ive made to go along with it!!! 💀💀💀💀 yeah i uh. i edited and then drew over that to make it look like sculk. yeah i did that all on my phone last night. you can imagine how bad my neck hurts right now

as always, reblogs are deeply appreciated, and comments on ao3 or in the tags will earn you my undying gratitude and also this free sculk sample over here shhhh dont question it just take it<3 i hope you guys like the new formatting style im trying out, and of course the fic itself!! enjoy!!! :DD

[hajihiko]

If Junko’s ghost varies on who sees her and how they perceived her, wouldnt the ghost that Kazuichi sees be extremely powerful? Considering his personality and how scared he normally is.

I don't think the appearance changes so much as the vibe and perhaps setting. It IS based on how differently people can see the same person, so it's more about the reaction one would subconsciously have to seeing it. Kaz would instantly recognize her as strong, scary, beautiful and cruel, because that is where his mind goes when he's reminded of her. If it's a "ghost", it's already in your head and not physical, so all you can see is what your mind lets you.

[pbnmj]

i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)

[emblazons]

Forewarning: Gay Mike talk skip if you want

Not to be that person in 2024 that pride gifset did it to me but I still genuinely do not understand how the "girls being girls was never a problem for Mike" argument came to be, considering THIS the show's Mike talking about, learning about, confessing to and just being around spaces re: girls:

note: this isn't even touching any of the moments we see hints that he's into boys—JUST the moments where we see his displeasure with/disinterest in engaging with girls (or commentary by other guys who are interested in them). Will, a confirmed gay character, doesn't even have this many reminders of his lack of interest in girls.

Once is a coincidence. Twice is a pattern. Twelve times without real effort to pull every example? and I didn't even include him taking a girls hands off him while kissing or the four other times they kissed eyes open or hidden? Iet's be so serious lmao

[where-the-water-flows]

hey no wait. hang on, wait. wenjing is like, explicitly the secret sword, right, the one basically no one knew about, it's part of the reason the court is like 'mmk seems legit' when fang doubing is like ~I am totally for real his disciple~ because he knows about the sword at all

but li xiangyi/lianhua is clearly like. practiced at using the sword, which does not move like basically...any other weapon. that man has spent a fuck lot of time training to and straight up developing how to use a sword that is basically the most unswordlike sword to ever sword. that sword is like a slap bracelet with bladed edges that can also cut through....anything? nearly anything?? it does not move or react like your standard mostly rigid bar of folded metal sword, is the gist here.

which brings me to two, semi-related, points:

when saintess rocks up to steal di feisheng from the zombie cave and also is like 'I'm going to kill you uh actually lol nope fuck that I'm outtie peace bitches', is that literally the first time she's even got a hint that li xiangyi/lianhua has a sword that is basically nigh impossible to block because it can straight up bend around obstacles? (obstacles such as, say, anyone else's sword) if yes, no fucking wonder she's like mmmm I see no thank you I need to go wash my di feisheng's hair, so busy, catch you later because like. how the fuck do you even deal with that. a guy who should have been horribly and messily dead literally a decade ago rocks up and is like 'I lived bitch! also surprise, I have a sword made of glowing Go-Fuck-Yourself metal', like, I too would fucking split! you would only be able to find me by the cartoon dust cloud left in my wake. RIP to everyone else in the jianghu but saintess is making the objectively correct choice here, which is wild because, like. saintess.

how many people's last fucking moment was seeing throat cutter, probably glowing and covered in their blood? because like. Li xiangyi clearly used it! enough to be good at using it. enough to know that it glows blue when there's blood on it, even if he apparently was just like sometimes swords just glow for reasons I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. so. if no one outside of sigu sect high command knows that wenjing exists*, that means everyone else who ever saw that sword -- which there has to have been people, given that li xiangyi was out there uhhh using it -- those people who saw it presumably also uh. died. in a pretty confirmed kinda way. likely via....that sword. throat cutter** indeed

*and not even all of the inner sigu sect command folks knew about li xiangyi having it! they're pretty explicit that five people total know about the sword, which is the four court heads, and then presumably either qiao wanmian or xiao zijin, but not both of them (which, lmao, what the hell were sigu sect internal politics for real), and even that's if we assume shan gudao is not being included in the count because he's "dead"

**yes I know it's a reference to a friendship/relationship you'd cut your throat for per @murderedbyhomework's recent great meta, but also, like. it's still a cut throat, y'know? words can have multiple meanings, and also this is mostly a pun on the name. the rest of the post stands as is tho.

[huggywuggysuppy]

I need your thoughts on gem and pearls shinyduo divorce/complicated relationship. Is it pride stopping them, is it past grudges? This really is the divorce season. Next wild card is just divorce papers

I am SO glad you asked. Short answer, based on what we see in session 5, Gem is letting go of her grudge while Pearl is starting to get one. Punished for her actions in SL that weren't really wrong, yet urged by her allies to let that unreasonable treatment go, Pearl is making an effort to move on anyway. However, Gem is doubling down, playing nice while still considering the G's her enemy. Passing off her aggression as a whim: simply wanting to hurt Pearl for the sake of it. Faced with that, of course Pearl doesn't want to be allies (or remarried, as it were.) They've been enemies for too long in WL to go back, at least until one dies by the other's hands.

LONG answer, well, this got away from me. Here we go!

Pearl has infinite patience when it comes to Gem. Even in SL, when Gem had killed her and her allies over and over again, Pearl remained on friendly terms. Throughout WL, Gem's been tormenting, plotting against, and generally antagonizing Pearl throughout, for a vague grudge that Pearl doesn't agree she's at fault for. But she's no stranger to working with her enemy, and if Gem's willing to forgive, so is she.

Ultimately, Gem's grievance with Pearl is that she thought they were closer in SL, but Pearl didn't feel the same. They worked together to cull the server, pretty enthusiastically on both ends, only for her to choose someone else at the end. As others have written, "WE could've 2v1'd Scar." From there, it's just Pearl not apologizing or validating that she hurt Gem, because Pearl doesn't believe she did anything wrong. Unfortunately for everyone involved, the rest of the server (and fandom) generally took Gem's side, so Pearl had to fight to get her side of the story out.

VERY brief summary of Pearl's perspective: Gem was her enemy for most if not all of SL. Murder Camel and the Mounders/G&TS in session 9 were fun, but tactical. She was never seriously allied with Gem. Meanwhile she had beef with Scar, because who didn't, but he generally sided with the Mounders throughout SL and chose their side in the faceoff. Honestly, her only crime was consorting so much with the enemy: making Gem think she forgave her when she hadn't. Killing Gem at the end was the natural catharsis for being enemies, satisfying Pearl, but it came as a surprise betrayal on Gem's end.

(Everyone playing nice with Gem mostly for her tactical value is it's own post, but I digress.)

Gem knows the SL thing isn't 100% Pearl's fault, and that she chose violence instead of giving Pearl a chance to defend herself without an audience. It took Pearl pulling her aside and spelling out everything one on one before Gem finally chilled out. Nobody in Life handles conflict appropriately, and we don't ask them too. But that's it. The end. They've cleared the air, right? I mean, Gem hasn't admitted out loud exactly why she's so hurt at the 2v1, and Pearl's allies still consider backing her up "enabling" instead of support, but they've mostly talked it out. Why couldn't we get another Murder Camel, or remarriage, or at least some mutual server terrorization?

There's 5 episodes of consequences to work out.

I said at the beginning that Pearl is patient with Gem. But I lied. Pearl is always willing to hear Gem out and be civil, if not friendly. That was the whole problem in SL: that Pearl was nice and worked with Gem even though they were still enemies in her mind. But Pearl doesn't easily forgive, and will never ally with someone who has wronged her. In DL, when they were being hunted she still split off from the divorce quartet, even though it was super dangerous, because they'd hurt her and still showed no remorse for it. She's intensely loyal, and extraordinarily honest. Once again, Gem's worked against and hurt Pearl, and she's not gonna let that go.

For the most part, Pearl hasn't retaliated against Gem's revenge. She's badgered her and been a nuisance, encouraged others to target Gem, and half-heartedly attempted a couple traps. But she hasn't chased her down, railed others against her, or even strongly denounce Gem beyond defending herself. At least, not yet. The way things are moving, the G's and the Family will outwardly clash soon enough, especially since Pearl is their red "guard dog." Pearl's coming up on her chance. And she's running out of reasons to hold back.

Catharsis in Life Series usually comes from a final kill. Grian killing Scar in the cactus circle resolved their complicated relationship for 3rd life. Scar winning SL cleared any real grievances others held for him that series, and vice versa -- he's not a villain anymore. This goes double for betrayals and enemies. Without a final kill, the grudge festers: extending into other seasons such as Cleo with BigB or Joel with Scott. They need to "get even."

Pearl is famously denied that finality. She was left hanging for a proper goodbye to Scott in Last, where her lives/death helped him win, then wronged even further in DL. And his suicide at the end robbed her of releasing all her resentment and pain. Even in WL, she tells Scott that what she really wants is a proper 1v1. But in SL, Pearl was able to kill Gem, who had been terrorizing her and her team all season. They've gotten even. But in doing so, she accidentally created a new grudge, and the balance is off again.

Unfortunately, Gem's grievance is a final kill. So, it carries over into the next season. Many players start a season with "I want this person to win," but it's rare to have "I want this person to die." That's part of why the divorce seems so off. Gem is responding to the pain from SL, and Pearl is reacting to that with fresh aggression. The cycle continues until one of them acts and the other decides they're even.

Gem knows all of this. She knows they can't walk back the divorce, that she's gone too far and they can't make up this time. And she's having fun with it. She's playing nice, which the server is all too willing to enable since it's seems safer, while having the same hostile intentions. Telling Pearl to take one of Scott's lives and assassinating Cleo is the most obvious, but so is buttering up Scott while planning to trap him with Jimmy. While Pearl slowly boils, trapped in this horrible pseudo-forgiveness, Gem keeps poking and prodding. And because of their talk, when Pearl retaliates she will look like the aggressor.

So to answer your ask, anon, the divorce can't be undone, at least not in this season. It's not pride so much as hurt: they haven't forgiven each other -- for SL or WL -- and won't until they're even. I don't know if they've consciously realized that yet, and very well might continue on in a weird limbo, or even ally at the very end Murder Camel style. But they certainly haven't resolved anything yet.

Something wicked this way comes...

(And I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about the Meta-narrative aspect. Both CC's are amused by and noticeably pushing for the divorce narrative. While I do think their C's have genuine beef over WL now at least, if not the 2v1, it's exaggerated and ultimately just fun for the CC's to rp out. Also, everyone in Life Series is a bit awkward/forced the first time they start drama with someone. I've mentioned elsewhere but Gem started divorce drama with Pearl "Expert Divorcee" Moon as her first, so part of the imbalance is figuring out how to tell that story. Pearl is putting in the legwork on her end and Cleo "Expert Friend Of Divorcees" called out that Gem needs a reason, so she just has to put the pieces together and make her case out loud.)

(Personally, I think she really could pursue "Still hung up about SL and wants an apology/catharsis, but won't admit it especially now that she's overreacted, so now playing nice while trying to sabotage her." Imagine the quiet confessions to Joel about how she's still angry, and the tearful "why are you doing this to me?" "because I lied! I'm still mad you hurt me!" And it would fit SUPER well into Pearl's ongoing story with Scott downplaying his own mistakes. Both grievances happened because Pearl misunderstood the other person's feelings (Gem thought they were closer in SL, Scott was hurt by Pearl's disregard for finding him in DL), which means Pearl is the villain in both, at least to them. But we'll see what happens next week :D)

Thanks for the ask, and for reading all this! I do believe shinyduo are at their best when they're enemies. And I think they know that too.

[jacksprostate]

Treatise on why No, the doctor just giving the narrator of Fight Club (full name) his requested sleep medication or sending him to therapy would not have Fixed Him

Firstly, saying giving him the insomnia meds would’ve fixed him ignores the reason he has insomnia in the first place. He is so deeply upset by his place in society that he literally cannot sleep. Drugging him to sleep would not change that. That, of course, is the easy, quick response.

But with regard to therapy? The biggest flaw is that it ignores a central tenet of the book. Part of what tortures the narrator and drives him to invent Tyler is that his feelings about this collective, systemic issue are constantly reduced to a Just Him thing. His seatmates ask what his company is. He’s the only one upset at the office. He gets weird looks if he says the truth of what he does. People will do anything in their power to pretend he is the issue, as an individual, because it is far scarier to consider the full implications of the systemic issues implied by what he is saying. Everyone treats it as if the issue is him, so he goes insane. He does anything to get someone to say, holy shit, that’s fucked up, what you’re a part of is wrong. In an attempt to feel any sort of vague sympathy and catharsis, he goes to support groups to pretend to be dying, because then at least people don’t habitually blame him for his anguish. 

Saying therapy would fix him ignores that his problems are not individual. They are collective. It’s the reason the entire story resonates with people! Something deeply, unignorably wrong with society, where people would rather blame you for bringing it up than try and address it, because it feels impossible. I don’t blame people for this, really, because it IS scary. It’s terrifying to sit and feel like you’ve realized there’s something deeply, deeply wrong, but if you say something, people will get mad at you since it’s so baked into everything around you. Or, even if they agree, it’s easier to deal with the dissonance by pretending it’s individual.

And it’s not like that’s not the purpose therapy and medications largely serve, anyway. Getting into dangerous territory for this website, but ultimately, the reason the narrator was seeking medication was because it’s a bandaid. A very numbing bandaid. For these very large, dissonance causing problems, therapy does very little. Medications do what they always have, and distract you with numbness or side effects. It’s a false solution. He is seeking an individualized false solution because he has been browbeaten with the idea that this is an issue with him alone, when it's plainly clear it's not. 

Don't get me wrong. Obviously he has something wrong with him. But it's a product of his situation. It is a fictional exaggeration of a very real occurrence of mental illness provoked by deep unconscionable dissonance and anguish.  There is a clear correlation between what happens and his mental state and his job and how isolated he is. 

The thing is, even if he were chemically numbed, I do think he would’ve lost it regardless. Many people on meds find they don’t fix things. For reasons I’ll get into, but in this case because even if numbed or distracted, once you’ve learned about deep, far reaching corruption in society, it’s very hard to forget. Especially if, in his case, you literally serve as the acting hand of this particular variety. He’s crawling up the walls. 

So why do people say this?  Well, it's funny I guess. Maybe the first time or whatever. But also, often, they believe it, to a degree. Maybe they've just been told how effective therapy and meds are for mental illness, they believe wholeheartedly in The Disease Model of Mental Illness, maybe they themselves have engaged with either and have considered it successful. Maybe they or someone they know has been 'saved' by such treatments. 

But in all honesty.... What therapy can help with is mentality, it's how you approach problems. For issues on a smaller scale, not meaning they are easier to deal with my any degree, but ones that are not raw and direct from deep awareness of corruption; these are things that can be worked through if you get lucky and get an actually good therapist who helps build up your resiliency. But when your issue is concrete, something large and inescapable? It's useless. At best it can help you develop coping mechanisms, but there is a limit for that. There is a point where that fails. To develop the ability to handle something like this requires intense development of a comfort with ambiguity and dissonance and being isolated and a firm positioning of your purpose and values and and belief in wonder and all the other shit I ramble about. The things that the narrator lacks, which lead him to taking an ineffectual death knell anarchist self-destruction path. Therapy, where the narrator is, full of the knowledge of braces melted to seats and all the people that have to allow this to happen? It fails. 

And meds — meds are a fucking scam. We know the working mechanism of basically none of them, the serotonin receptor model was made up and paid its way into prominence. We have very little evidence they're any better than placebo, and they come with genuinely horrific side effects. Maybe you got lucky. I did, on some meds. On others? I don't remember 2018. The pharmaceutical industry is also known for rampant medical ghostwriting, and for creating 'off-label' uses for drugs that have gained too many protests in their original use, then creating a cult of use to then have 'grassroots' campaigns for it to be made a label use (ie, legitimize their ghostwritten articles with guided anecdotes). 

The DSM itself is basically a marketing segregation plot. It's an attempt to legitimize the disease model by isolating subgroups of symptoms to propose individualized treatments for subgroups that are not necessarily all that separate. But if the groups exist, you can prescribe more and different medications, no? Not to mention, if you use the disease model, you can propose that these diseases are permanent, or permanent until treated, considered more and more severe to offset and justify the horrific side effects of the medications. Do you know why male birth control doesn't really exist? Same reason. They can justify all the horrible side effects for women, because the other option is pregnancy. For men, it's nothing. 

And they're not bothering to invent new drugs without side effects. When they invent new drugs it's just because the last one got too bad of a name, or they can enter a new market. Modern drugs don't work any better than gen1 drugs. They still have horrific side effects. At best, the industry will shit out studies saying the old one was flawed (truth) so they can say this new gen will be better (lie). They're doing it with ssris right now. 

Fundamentally, the single proposed benefit of any of these drugs is that they numb you. To whatever is torturing you. It's harder to be depressed if you can't feel it, or if you just can't muster the same outrage. Of course, there is people who find that numbness to be helpful, or worth it. But often, it's stasis. For the people who have problems that can be worked on, it serves as a stopgap to not actually work on said problems. The natural outcome of the disease model is stagnation for those whose need is to develop skills and resiliency. It keeps them medicalized and dependent on the idea that they're diseased and incapable. Profitable. Stuck in the womb. 

I’ve been there. It’s easier, to wallow, and resist growth because it’s difficult and painful and unfair and cruel and you can think of five billion reasons to justify your languishing. But don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re just permanently damaged, no matter how nicely they word it, no identity or novel pathologization, no matter how many benefits they promise, especially if they swear up and down some lovely expensive medications with little solid backing and plentiful off-label usage and side effects that’ll kill you. Some days it feels like they want us all stuck in pods, agoraphobic and addicted to the ads they feed us to isolate the markets for the drugs they’ve trained us to beg them to pump us with. Polarization making it as easy as flashing blue light for go, red like for stop, or vice versa. I worry about the kids, for fucks sake. That’s a bit dark and intense, and I apologize. But I want you (generic) to understand, there is a profit motive. Behind everything. And they do not mean well. They do not care about your mental health or your rights or your personhood or your growth. They care about how they can profit off of you.

For those struggling with immovable, society problems, like the narrator grappling with how his job fits into and is accepted by society while his rejection and horror in the face of it does not, it can work about as well as any other drug addiction. Your mileage may vary. From what I've seen, recovering from being on prozac for a long time can be worse than alcohol. They put kids on this shit. They keep campaigning for more. Off label, again. A pharmaceutical company’s favorite thing to do has to be to spread rumors of someone who knows someone who said an off label use of this drug helps with this little understood condition. Or, in the case of mental illness, questionably defined condition. And like, damn, I know I'm posting on the 'medicalization is my identity' website so no one will like all this and has probably stopped reading by now, but yall should be exposed to at least one person who doubts this stuff. Doesn't just trust it. Because I mean, that's the thing right?

It's so big. What would it mean, for this all to be true? Yeah, everyone says pharmaceutical companies are evil and predatory and ghostwriting, but to think about what that really entails. Coming back to the book, everyone knows the car lobby is huge and puts dangerous vehicles through that kill people. What does it mean if the car companies all hire people to calculate the cost of a recall and the cost of lawsuits? No one wants to think about the scale that means for people allowing it or the systems that have to be geared towards money, not safety like they say. Hell, even Chuck misses the beat and has the narrator threaten his boss with the Department of Transportation. And shit, man, if every company is doing this, you think Transportation doesn't know? That they give a fuck? You're better off mailing all the evidence to the news outlets and hoping they only character assassinate you a little bit as they release the news in a way that says it's all the fault of little workers like you, not the whole system. Something something, David McBride, any whistleblower you feel like, etc. 

So I don't blame you, if your reaction is "but but but, that can't be right, people wouldn't do it, they wouldn't allow it" or just an overwhelming feeling of dread that pushes you to deny all of this and avoid thinking about it. Just know, that's in the book. That's all the seatmates on the flights. That's all his fellow officemates. It's easier to pretend, I know.

But think about, how the response fits in with the themes of the book. The story, as a movie too. What drives the narrator’s mental breakdown? How would you handle being in his position? How would you handle being his seatmate? It’s easy to say you’d listen. But have you? Have you had any soul wrenching betrayals of how you thought society worked? How about a betrayal by the thing that promised to be the fix of the first? Can you honestly say you wouldn’t follow that gut instinct, saying follow what everyone says, that person must just be crazy, evil, rude, cruel, whatever it is that means you can set what they said aside?

For a lot of people, they can do that, I guess. Set it aside. Reaching that aforementioned state of managing to cope with the dissonance and ambiguity and despair is very hard. The narrator made the Big Realization, but he couldn’t cope. He self-destructed. Even when people don’t make the big realization consciously, they’re already self-destructing. It’s hard to escape it when it feels easier than continuing anyway. When it feels like the only option,

Would therapy fix the narrator of Fight Club? Would meds fix the narrator of Fight Club? No. He knows too much. All meds will do, by the time he’s in the psych ward, is spiritually neuter him. A silly phrase, but really. Take the wind out of his sails. 

Is he fixed if he doesn’t try to blow up town? If he just shuts up and settles in and stops costing money? If he still can’t cope with the things he’s unearthed? Do you see how this is a commentary in a commentary in a commentary?

Fight Club is an absolutely fascinating story because of this. The fact that it addresses the fallout of knowing. The isolation. The hopelessness. The spiral that results from a lack of hope. This is, I think, what resonates most with people, even if not consciously. Going insane because you’ve discovered something you wish you could unknow. It’s a classic horror story. Should our society be lovecraftian evil? I don’t think so. 

Do I think changing it will be easy? No. Lord knows a lot exists to push people who make these sorts of Realizations towards feelings of individuality and individualized solutions and denial and other distractions and coping methods. And to prevent people who make One realization from expanding on it and considering further ramifications. Fight Club itself gets into this; the isolation of men being a strict part of the role society shapes for their sex leaves them very vulnerable to death fetishes, in a sense, and generally towards self destructive violence. It helps funnel them away from substantial change and towards ineffectual change. Many things, misogyny, racism, serve to keep people isolated from one another, individualized, angry, and impossible to work with. Market segregation; god knows even appealing on those fronts has become such a classic ploy that companies do it now, the US military frames its plundering that way, etc. 

I’ve wandered a bit but ultimately, my point is this: Fight Club is a love letter to the horrors of critical thinking, and the importance of not falling into the trap of self destruction and hopelessness in the face of it. The latter is why Tyler was an anarchoterrorist instead of anything useful. The latter is why it was a death cult. It’s important to work through the horrors of critical thinking so you can do it, and stand on the other side ready to believe in each other. It’s worth it.

[slowdesire]

finding a pair of sunglasses i like is a MIRACLE and god was in the room with me. ❤️💋 + outfit for today when i wasn’t planning on going out 🙃

[hanzajesthanza]

god we need to bring crackfic back. or just short and idiotic ideas that wouldn’t happen but would be funny to read

[sallytwo]

... The poem may be an elegy for childhood losses.

(On Dream Song 29, Thomas Travisano)

[slythereen]

carlos? praising charles unreservedly? who is this man. did he realize the lecfosi will back him in war if he’s willing to be an ally

[cloudysarts]

imagine if the federation tried to make a phoenix with birdperson's daughter wouldn't that be fucked up hahaha < insane

like father like daughter.

(pr0/c0mship dni)