#dandelion hits milva on the ass (with his pillow…) she nearly kills him
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hanzajesthanza · 2 months ago
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god we need to bring crackfic back. or just short and idiotic ideas that wouldn’t happen but would be funny to read
#i just had a vivid imagination of geralt’s company having a pillow fight#setting and timeframe: september 10ish. in riverdell aka transriver#dandelion hits geralt with his bedroll pillow (a quite flat thing and not very comfortable but what are you to do) for levity#it’s a game of a bygone time. a mild pillow fight is plausible between geralt and dandelion in the short stories#cahir comments . wow … really dandelion … this is so juvenile … i haven’t done a pillow fight since i was 10 … it’s for kids…#dandelion’s response: pillow to the face. immediate vicovarian reaction: dandelion razed harder by his pillow than cintra by nilfgaard#dandelion screams ear-curdlingly (you’d imagine someone was being murdered in this swamp)#geralt (still at this moment in time resentful of cahir) leaps and attacks him with his pillow#geralt and cahir spar with pillows like swords but get to smothering each other quickly#milva (see this is foreshadowing for like two weeks days later) had enough and starts pillowing the both of them#she also had not said literally anything for the past week so this is a surprise that she would involve herself#dandelion hits milva on the ass (with his pillow…) she nearly kills him#geralt and cahir try to save dandelion etc#regis has been watching all of this like 🫤#geralt (better mood now) asks him why he is not getting involved.#regis: ‘what… ought i to be doing’#geralt: ‘helping me smack cahir with pillows’#regis doesn’t even sleep with a pillow. dandelion calls out he probably has an extra on his bedroll. milva screams at regis don’t touch that#regis psychoanalyzes they are relieving their stresses and anxieties in a social bonding ritual involving play fighting#which is likely of primal origin in simian social troupes but i digress#regis reasons he doesn’t have latent quarrels with anyone in the group so it would be pointless for him to join#cahir is like well i like everybody here and i still am smacking dandelion with a pillow 😐#milva reasons just imagine someone you hate on the other end. she imagined beating the crap out of her stepfather 👍#regis still reluctant to join | geralt gets an idea and smiles—imagine the guy who coined the term ‘undead’#wrath of eons unleashed#regis after knocking geralt off his feet with a pillow: am i doing it right ☺️#meanwhile nilfgaardian spy watching them from the bushes:#‘i was going to report on them but it looks as though they’ve all gone insane’#‘or maybe they were like that all along’#the elbow-high diaries
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