#estarion;;

[muunsick]

Desperation is a name many men find themselves learning, often without choice. It moves more oceans than the storm and razes more ground than wildfire. It forces hands to commit sin previously thought impossible, and tears apart sanity like a cleaver through vein. And now, here, standing on the precipice of some dank and dismal rotten mouth, an iron ladder sinking into the nauseating underbelly of this coastal city, Eden recalls the name of the very thing that led them here.

"This is so stupid," They hiss between locked teeth, hugging themselves into a tight coil, the end of their hooked tail flicking restlessly above the pavement. "It smells so bad. Oh, my gods, it's poop down there. It's poop." The tiefling paces in circles, wound up and horrified and forcing every muscle in their throat to suppress the bile tickling their mouth. They've rewound this scenario many times over many moons. Conceptualized infinite paths that might lead them to some profound answer, a solution to the chill that forever coats their neck. In all their travels, they have little to show but calloused feet and littered corpses. Through towns and villages and remote temples, running and running and leading this thing around on a strained leash.

But someone, somewhere, must know the truth, and if not, someone, somewhere, must be capable of killing it. Of facing it and wiping this realm of any trace it ever existed.

This is their last resort. The final stop before they throw down their white flag and shackle themselves to some abandoned pit deep in the unknown wilderness. It's a place they know little of, a fabled otherworld that knew neither day nor night, sun nor moon; The Underdark.

It is rumored to house horrors beyond comprehension. It is the very hellpit that darkness is born from. Surely, someone would know of a way to help them. And if not, then, it might be the tomb that Eden chooses to rest in for good, sequestered from the world, so far low that not even god need look at their face. Yes, an excellent decision.

Now if only they could know where to start. It's not as if there's a book on where to locate such a place. Volo's Roadmap to Your Worst Nightmare! That's a publication that would come in handy. But they lack such knowledge, and so they are forced to start simple. If it lies underground, one must go beneath the ground. And, you see, the easiest way to go below ground…

"Just do it. You're being ridiculous." Eden hops lightly, revving up their engine, attempting to inject pep in their step. All they need is a leap of faith. Dive into the poop hole and brave whatever may come. Breathe in, breathe out. And—

"I can't do it." They turn abruptly away from the manhole, rejecting its existence. Gods. It might just be time to call it quits. Pack up, go home, that's it, you're stalked by a monster for all eternity. They shimmy their shoulders, their spine groaning under the weight of their rucksack. Weary eyes lift to the sky, gazing fearfully at the sliver of white looming overhead. The hooked claw of a waxing moon. Only a matter of time before the circle fills itself out entirely.

Burdened with a desolate hopelessness, they backtrack out of the murky alley, winding back towards the central street. They nearly miss it. They nearly miss him. The ghosting silhouette of a sleek figure, rooted against the jagged corner of a stone building, cloaked in inky black, not even an inch of his body exposed to the moonlight. Even with their infernal darkvision, he feels almost invisible.

He looks seedy and untrustworthy. The hunch of a man who probably eats orphaned children for his midnight snack. A villain who wears blood like a second skin and wields daggers like his own body parts. Absolutely perfect.

If anyone would know how to get to the Underdark, it would be a person like him.

"Sir! Sir, you—" Eden nearly trips over their own boots, stumbling towards him with the shaky legs of a newborn fawn. "Your help. I need your help. I need directions to a…" The stakes feel too high to just come right out with it. Stealth would be necessary. Best to speak in vague terms, just in case.

"Do you know how to get below the city? As in, very below. Like very far down." To visualize their point, their hands gesture towards the ground, fingers pointing hellward.

@estarion

[bloodyarn]

   ❝  I  can't  believe  Astarion  hates  Pussy. ❞

[zalimbane]

if you have any information on @estarion and @bloodyarn please report to your local steel watcher .

[bloodtwin]

DADDY LONG DICK JUST LANDED IN BALDUR'S GATE BABY !!! featuring: @bloodyarn , @estarion , @bonegrieve , puck's 1 million gfs & rolan ..

[lured-into-wonderland]

She is in desperate need for a good (divorce) lawyer. Or perhaps a bodyguard would be more useful!?

[idolsummons]

For sale: one vampire. Requires a family who can give him constant care and attention. Should not be left alone with credit cards. $50 or best offer.

[sleetkissed]

Based on this

@rotdame , @estarion , @stargroved

[wellfell]

❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜ what if he a.scended and she left him but he keeps tabs on her and can find her again whenever he wants ♡ only if u feel iiiit. he's definitely evil now.

 ‘ go fuck yourself . ‘ words spat out like venom . hissed through gritted teeth like a snake with its spine held taut to attack . she's in no position to give such orders , to ask him to go fuck himself — it's been years and he's not changed a day while she's older . wiser , knows that a man who turns out to be like his father is not a good man . knows that men like astarion are devoted to you as long as you follow their path ; they won't follow you into your own path . it was attractive to read about sacrificial and homicidal men burning the world for their lover but in reality it just wasn't her thing . the blood on his hands and in his mouth actually made her stomach twist in disgust – she rattles her chains . glares at him through the metal bars of his dark prison , clenches her jaw until it starts to ache like her broken ankle . ‘ if you don't kill me , i will do it myself . ‘ sunny days are gone , he no longer looks like the man who kept risking his life to save hers ; the man that kissed her eyes before she went to sleep . the memories are a haunted carcass , she doesn't venture in there anymore . ‘ or let me go , if you still have an ounce of dignity . hm ? ‘ the people he's protecting her of are the ones akina can deal with easier if she wasn't trapped here . caught like a foolish lamb , chained to be kept safe from the hungry agents outside . the wrong crowd that she pissed off not while ago , stole the crystal that'd help her . . wipe astarion's memories . if she had it , all she had to do was to sneak into his grandeur of palace and place it under his pillow . easy .

[warwaited]

@estarion

What a trying day. More violent than she would have liked, that’s for certain, though with how many of the thralls of the Absolute they’ve been going through and will apparently continue to go through, Anthelion is beginning to get a feel for the patterns. She had hoped that the githyanki would be able to provide -if not a solution - some answers, and yet here she is, still knowing almost as little as when she started and now having had to fight her way out of where those interstellar travellers lived.

It isn’t a good feeling.

Perhaps wanting to take her mind off of the day’s events, or maybe following up on something she’d had brewing for a day or two already, she comes up behind the party’s rogue. Her loping stride is hard to get away from at the best of times and, admittedly, she’s been taking advantage of that more often than usual where Astarion’s concerned. She politely clears her throat when she’s in range.

“Astarion? I was hoping that I could speak with you about something, if you were willing.”

[screwhope]

@estarion ▐ ASTARION / bg3

❛ i've seen you around before.   ❜ curiosity is clear in emerald eyes as she crosses her arms. ❛ you went home with my best customer last week. haven't seen him since.   ❜ a brow raises , gaze flickering over him. she might just be a barmaid , but she's perceptive. it was half her job to turn in troublemakers , after all. ❛ what's your name ?   ❜

[bloodyarn]

❝  Astarion  has  a  mommy  kink,  have  you  heard   ? ❞

[silvertiefling]

HERE'S A LIST OF KATYA'S KIDS --------- AND THE DIVINE(?) FUCKERY THEY HAPPENED WITH.

SIDENOTE: All the flair and fireworks are needed because in Katya's canon she very much Does Not want children, and also got rid of her uterus as soon as she could find some wizard to permanently get rid of it.

Puck ( @bloodtwin ) Child Count: 1

One Kid: Ember Blade Darlington

Conceived through some divine fuckery with Bhaal. Puck wanted to see what would happen if Katya ate his finger - turns out Bhaal wanted a child between these two murder machines SO badly he gave Katya her uterus back and created another bhaalspawn through the gore of Puck's finger.

Shadowheart ( @sharransepulchre ) Child Count: 1

One kid: Jennevelle (Jenny) Firewine Silverwreath

Conceived via divine fuckery with Selûne. Shadowheart prayed a little too seriously to Selûne in hopes of making Katya more responsible in life. Selûne decided the best way to do that was to make Shadowheart preggers with their three way kid.

Astarion ( @estarion ) Child Count: 3

Three Kids: Lafayette Ancunin aka Laffy (<- much to Astarion's pain) oldest daughter, Hektor (aka Heck) & Helena (aka Hell) Ancunin (Twins Boy & Girl)

Conceived via probably a divine prank by the gods in some AU. Because clearly the gods saw the vampire and the werewolf with no uterus in another universe and went 'fuck you, this undead man can give you children and is clearly SO potent'<- much to Katya's pain.

[postmortiem]

Name: ASTARION. Age: old. How well do we know each other?: you gave me drugs and tried to slice me open on several occasions. Do you have a pet name for me?: no. Do I have a pet name for you?: better not. Are you attracted to me?: no. Why do you want to marry me?: i don't. Big wedding or Small wedding?: no wedding. Do you see children in our future?: no.

                                     ✱ 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .

                organ donor application wife/husband application .

        This  is  written  like  a  complaint  letter.      She  NEVER  does  anything  without  consent.  Intoxicated  or  not,  Astarion  DID  agree  to  the  procedure.  And  he  was  laughing  too   !   (  Maybe  because  of  the  laughing  gas  ) 

          ❝ Oh,  I  have  a  pet  name  for  you.  My  little  blood  bank,  walking  bag  of  organs,  almost-bat.  If  I  find  the  right  tone  of  voice,  these  do  sound  very  cute. ❞       The  wedding  is  in  one  week.

   ▌ heart donors : 1

[bloodtwin]

𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐠 。 。 。

             latest grave robbed: unprompted interactions 。

@estarion anonymous ⸻ ❝ puckywucky, does this babydoll dress make my thighs look too squishable ? ( this is @bloodyarn btw, i got locked out of my account. Entschuldigung. ) ❞

             𝐅𝐨𝐫   𝐚𝐥𝐥   𝐡𝐞   𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬,   𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬   𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲   𝐢𝐬   𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞.   Puck has never been naturally suspicious of others, nor has it ever crossed his mind to ever distrust one wearing sweet Babsi's face. Especially not when she also wears such a, um . . .  

             Ahem. Such a pretty dress.  

             ❝ I, uh . . . No ！They look, um, the right amount. Of squishable. I think. ❞ Maybe you should test that ⸻ NO. 

[lured-into-wonderland]

Unavoidable commentary to [here]

"Jealous that I have a new life and you're still alone...regretting your mistake?" - he cannot hurt her, can he now? - "No-one ignores me, have you forgotten this simple fact, My Dear?"

She hums.

"I am already an experienced woman. Husbands are so easily turned into ex-husbands. What you need is a good lawyer. Is that not?"

@estarion

[idolsummons]

ily hana, turn down the fucking MUSIC.

wait, what was that first thing? ｡･ﾟ✫ @estarion

Unfortunately, she's wearing headphones and can't hear him. Her music isn't that loud, anyway; she knows all too well the importance of protecting one's hearing.