jamltihan-blog

[backslashdelta]

Thanks to @cryscendo for the tag and for past tags and to everybody else who has tagged me in the past and then I haven't made a post... I appreciate every time I get tagged, I've just been kinda drowning in work lately and haven't had time to write.

BUT I'm going to share a little bit I wrote several months ago for tbosas au which has been living rent free in my head for a while - I started outlining this back in December, and will hopefully eventually get to write it all! This is more than 6 sentences because fuck the rules <3

“And there he is, Blaine Anderson himself,” Santana announces to their small group. “They can’t give him the prize, right? He already has enough handed to him, being an Anderson.” Blaine catches Sebastian’s eye for just a moment before Sebastian can turn back to the group, and he starts to walk over. “Which is ridiculous anyway, he’s district. He doesn’t even belong here but he still has everything handed to him? It makes no sense.” As Blaine walks up to the group, Santana plasters a sickeningly sweet smile across her face. “Hi, Blaine.” “Hi Santana,” Blaine greets her quickly, then looks to Sebastian. “Hey, Bastian.” Sebastian cringes a little, hates it when Blaine calls him that, like they’re the best of friends, hates that being associated with Blaine makes everyone else question his own place here, too; he doesn’t need his status being questioned, it’s hard enough fooling them all as it is without Blaine getting in the way. But Blaine knows what Sebastian’s life is, Blaine’s whole family knows, and it’s humiliating but he can’t help it, needs to stay on Blaine’s good side so that at least he’ll keep it to himself.

Going to tag @daisyishedwig @esperantoauthor @blurglesmurfklaine @kurtsascot @calsvoid @fallevs and anybody else who wants to do this! (I know some of you already got tagged but I'm double tagging you because I want to and fuck the rules <3)

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Tell us more about “isn’t it strange”!🥰

HI ESP IF I HAVENT TOLD YOU RECENTLY ILY!

Isn't it Strange is like... 13 going on 30 meets it's a wonderful life? I don't know why I'm making that analogy I've never seen It's A Wonderful Life.

But essentially it's a post-season 6 break up fic where Blaine's like "damn this sucks booty. I wish I'd never even met Kurt" and then he wakes up and he's living a life in which he and Kurt have never met because it sounds awkward and painful and I'm just a slut for angst i guess

Here's a snippet!

“Let it be known that I love Rachel Barbra Berry to the ends of this earth, but if I have to wake up to the sound of her gargling salt water at five in the morning as a preventative measure against bronchitis one more time, I might actually poison our water supply with arsenic. Take us both out.” Blaine stops in his tracks, mid-chew, and blinks at Kurt sitting opposite the table.  “But enough about me and my roommate’s inconsiderate hygiene habits, how are things on the Blaine train?” Blaine fights a smile when Kurt winces a little. “I—let’s just—can we pretend I didn’t just say Blaine train?” He waits expectantly for a moment, but Blaine just sighs. “Kurt, you… you don’t have to do this.” Kurt furrows his eyebrows. “Don’t have to do what?” Blaine shakes his head a little, every passing second fueling his embarrassment. He knows exactly what’s happening here, and he isn’t about to let himself confuse Kurt’s inherent kindness with any genuine interest. He said he was closing this road, and he has to stick to that. “You’re a really sweet guy, Kurt, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I don’t want your pity.” “I don’t pity you,” Kurt says evenly, mouth twitching. “I do find you intriguing.” Blaine huffs out a small laugh. Kurt may find him intriguing now, but once he uncovers everything underneath, Blaine knows he won’t like what he sees. He already didn’t.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

@esperantoauthor replied to your post “I bought Potion Permit weeks ago but I was in the...”:

How do you like it? It's on my wishlist

​First off, what platform do you use, cause it is currently 30% off on Nintendo Switch. Idek about other platforms.

Second off, yeah, I recommend it so far (and an added sale is always nice). I have played a little over 2 hours and a little over 1 in-game week and I am enjoying it a lot. I like the premise a lot. It's different than your usual farming RPGs and not only that, I think it is creative. Brewing potions isn't just forgaging and throwing stuff into a cauldron, but you get a puzzle game. And a mini game for diagnosis stuff. There's some combat, a nice town and fun NPCs.

The only thing I do begrudge is the grind. I am already grinding, but alas, this isn't my first rodeo. Repetitive gameplay is part of the genre, especially in the beginning, and I am only 2 hours in.

[forabeatofadrum]

@facewithoutheart​ @raenestee​ @coffeegleek​

us:

@esperantoauthor​ I think I am in denial about my plant being dead. I read your reply and I was like “I have to do WHAT?? IT DEAD????”, but yeah maybe I need to accept that these leafs and stems are crispy af and all the flowers wilted 😭😭😭😭

Although the ground in the pot did turn a bit greenish. I am so out of my depth with plants, man.

[justgleekout]

Thanks so much for the tag @fallevs <3333

Rules are post gifs from your 10 favorite shows without naming them, then tag 10 people.

This was really hard, but very fun!

In no particular order:

I tag: @steph-luvs-klaine @esperantoauthor @kurtsascot @rockitmans @mynonah @justasmallbloginabigklainefandom @kuiinncedes @kurthummeldeservesbetter @homosandhomies @datshitrandom @blurglesmurfklaine

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Looking for fics that are kind of a warbler spin off, with storylines of the warblers too not just klaine. Simillar to Dalton and Meet the Warblers. Thanks!

You could try our Warbler tag on tumblr, or I put in "Nick/Jeff Glee" as an alternative relationship, along with BA/KH as the main relationship, and 244 items came up on Ao3. I can't guarantee some other non Klaine ships are in there. ~Jen

Here are a few:

The Warbler by WhiteOwl

Kurt is a famous actor and singer who gets threatening messages and phone calls. One night his house is attacked and his manager suggests him to hire a bodyguard... Or better a whole team, the Warblers. Things just turn more complicated when Kurt finds out that the Warblers' leader is none other than Blaine Anderson, his former one-night stand.

~~~~~

Anderson Barbershop by paellaiscomplicated

AU where Kurt never visited Dalton.

Now it's December of 2016 and Kurt has graduated from NYADA. He's having trouble getting cast in anything and loses his apartment after he and Adam break up. So when he inherits an apartment in Hackensack, NJ from a great-aunt he doesn't remember meeting, he decides spending a few months cleaning the place out will give him time to regroup.

Blaine opened a barber shop and lives in Hackensack, NJ with his friends Nick and Jeff from Dalton. He's worried about making a success of his business, but not too worried to be intrigued when an attractive guy moves into the neighborhood.

Warnings for past Kurt/Adam, references to Finn Hudson's death, past Blaine/Sebastian

~~~~~

A night in the Ryerson House by @blurglesmurfklaine; @carmex; @esperantoauthor; @justgleekout; @klainetrashxx: numberone (honey_olives), @syntheticpoetry

The New Directions make a pact to spend the night in the old abandoned Ryerson house in the hopes of being blessed with good luck for Regionals. Will they make it through the night or will their hopes be dashed when they discover they are not alone in the house? ~~~~~

Crowded House by kellyb321

All of your favorite Warblers and a few new faces, too. Follow our boys as they start their lives in NYC, each couple facing their own challenges, heartbreak, self-discovery and redemption. Stick around as they realize support, acceptance and most importantly, true love can all be found in one big Crowded House. Heavy on the Klaine and Niff.

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

Chapter 5 of 14 Stones Of A Curse is up!!

Chapter 5: Amethyst Whispers

Title: 14 Stones Of A Curse

Rating:Explicit

Archive Warning:Major Character Death

Category:M/M

Fandoms:Glee,Glee Klaine,Klaine-Fandom

Relationship:Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel

Characters:

Blaine Anderson,Kurt Hummel,Burt Hummel,Sebastian Smythe,Finn Hudson,Sam Evans (Glee)

Summary:

Amethyst brings them together with its calming energy, sparkling a connection that transcends words

You can read the previous chapters here 👇

Chapter 1 , 2, 3, 4

Written for the Klaine Valentine’s challenge 2024by @klaineccfanficlibrary

A sincere thanks to @esperantoauthor and @england-would-fall for their undying support and beta work.

I hope you like this chapter.

Day 4 song prompt: Handle With care by the Traveling Wilburys

[kurthummeldeservesbetter]

thank you for the tag @justgleekout <3

Rules are post gifs from your 10 favorite shows without naming them, then tag 10 people.

now for the peeps

@blurglesmurfklaine @backslashdelta @romans-roy @esperantoauthor @kuiinncedes @homosandhomies @flaine

@gorgxoxus @katimanki @klainetrashnumberone

[klaineficroulettechallenge-us]

The Roulette is back, Peeps!

Hey! I'm sorry for my hiatus. Life was keeping my head closing to the underwater level, but I think I'm finally getting back to the shallow end on life's ocean. LOL. I've decided that we will continue with the Roulette, but I'm going to try to pace myself this time. We will write two prompts this year We will try to keep both stories at ten chapters or less. Here are the prompts:

Story 1- written from March-May- Published in June

I DO - prompted by @grlnxtdr30

story prompt -Wedding Planner Kurt and Best Man Blaine have to work together to keep a wedding between feuding families from turning into a brawl while fighting off the advances of the bridesmaids and the Groom's handsy gay cousin.

9. -Kurt is an employee at Hummel Tire and Lube, and they're short handed. Burt hires Blaine as an extra set of hands, but he and Kurt do not hit it off. Co workers Klaine. Enemies to Lovers. We will be writing this story from July through September. We will publish in October.

If you signed up back in June of last year, expect to hear from me soon. If you aren't able to participate, I get it. No worries. It's my bad because I let life get so crazy. Just let me know if you are still up for this or not.

If you missed the signups, you are in luck. I'm attaching a new form. If you signed up before, please fill it out again to make sure that I have up to date info. Please fill out the form BY FEBRUARY 4, 2023

@grlnxtdr30 @blurglesmurfklaine @justgleekout @klaineccfanficlibrary @calliopemelpomene @esperantoauthor @gleekto @hazelandglasz @jayhawk-writes @lady-divine-writes @redheadgleek @roxymusicandlayers @xbeautifulunseenx @notyourdayrdream @imthederpyfox @catcat-85 @andersonswalsh @little-escapist @lilyvandersteen @1908jmd @forabeatofadrum @jayne89 @datshitrandom @snarkyhag @nobodywhocancomfortme

Please reblog this. I can't wait to have you all onboard. Let's write the hell out of some Klaine fic.

Oh, for those who haven't read The Prom-US, I put the link here.

[gleefrankenfic]

No Frankfic This Year 😢

I am sorry to announce that there will be no Frankenfic this year. I came down with Covid in September and only recently made a full recovery so I wasn't up for organizing the event this year.

While we don't have anything new to offer, there are three years of Frankfic tales available here!

Love & Pumpkins, Esperanto (@esperantoauthor)

[nancysgillians]

TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

tagged by @usergamoras 💚

ted lasso

the expanse

firefly

the last of us

glee

leverage

survivor

911 lone star (+911 shh technically this is 9)

tagging some mutuals: @esperantoauthor @blaintism @backslashdelta @cobbbvanth @rebeccasweltons @jazziergin @expensivemistake @kitconnor @laylakeating @dickgraaysons

[backslashdelta]

Friends in Low Places by @esperantoauthor as a Netflix show [template]

[blurglesmurfklaine]

I love you.

I LOVE YOU TOO SO MUCH!!! 💞💞💞

I have a lot of feelings and not enough coherent words to express how much I hate the way non-Christian and/or non-white people are treated just in society in general but especially in America but what I CAN express is that I the way there are so many different religions and cultures within humanity is something that should be celebrated and be used ti bring people closer together instead of driving them apart and I get really emotional when people ignore history and AHHHH

AGAIN, NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY BUT I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

@esperantoauthor the 5€ Patreon tier means you get a new page in the mailbox the moment Alice is done drawing it. As a result, I am on page 1541, instead of 1457 (the last page that is online for everyone to see). So there isn't a separate paywalled story or anything, I am just way ahead of what the public sees and that sometimes makes me mess up. For example, I wanted to talk about what happened with [REDACTED], but then I realised it is not public yet.

[forabeatofadrum]

@quizasvivamos replied to your post “IT’S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES and please for the love of...”:

🎉🎉🎉

​@coffeegleek replied to your post “IT’S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES and please for the love of...”:

Congrats!!! I saw your mention both on my phone and in my Activity. yay!​

@raenestee​:

@cutestkilla​:

@esperantoauthor replied to your post “IT’S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES and please for the love of...”:

Got your tag!

​

thanks for letting me know! I’m FREEEEE!!

[justgleekout]

Are We Ever Gonna Be Okay Again?

Summary: An alternate timeline in which Kurt did go to Lima for Christmas and he and Blaine had that much-needed heart-to-heart.

But uh-oh! It's angst and they cry.

Rating: G

Words: 2273

Additional tags: Missing Scene, Fix-It, Episode: s04e10 Glee Actually, Alternate Timeline, Blangst, angst with hopeful ending, Mostly Canon Compliant, talks about cheating

Notes: Would you believe it? I've written something again!

It always bothered me that Kurt and Blaine never had a real conversation about Blaine's cheating. So this is me exploring the hows and whys and filling the gaps the writers had left. This is heavy on the emotional (bl)angst. Sorry, I like to inflict pain on this fandom.

And of course, thank you to the best beta in the world @esperantoauthor (Esperanto on Ao3)! <33

Read on Ao3

When the doorbell rang, Blaine was shaking. He hadn't seen Kurt since the opening night of McKinley's rendition of Grease. And that encounter had left him almost feeling worse than when he left New York after Kurt and he had just broken up. Blaine felt nauseous. He tried to swallow the feeling away, but his mouth was dry. He opened the door and when he saw Kurt in the doorway it was all he could do not to cry. 

“Hey,” Kurt said, his voice barely above a whisper, and he gave Blaine the faintest of smiles. A smile so small and unsure that Blaine almost wished he hadn’t smiled at all.

The air between them was thick and heavy. With so many things yet unspoken, so many emotions unshown. Blaine wanted to reach out. He wanted to enfold himself in Kurt's arms, but he didn’t want to scare Kurt away, so he settled for a small, “Hey,” in return. “Do you want to come in? It's freezing.” The incredible normality of that sentence made him sick to his stomach. Nothing about this was casual and they both knew it.

“Yeah, okay.���

Blaine stepped back and Kurt entered his house. 

“Did you want to come up to my room?” 

Kurt shrugged. “Sure.” He tried to smile again, but it didn't reach his eyes. He followed Blaine up the stairs into his room and sat down on the edge of Blaine's bed. His back was oddly straight, and he stared down at his hands. 

Blaine closed the door behind them. He didn't know why he closed the door; his parents weren't home. Maybe it was to keep Kurt from running away. To hold them together. To shield them. Blaine took a breath and sat down on the bed next to Kurt, making sure to leave enough space between them. 

“So..” Kurt said. He glanced at Blaine. He looked apprehensive and it hurt Blaine. It felt awful to see the person he loved, look at him with fear and doubt and not be able to reach out to comfort him especially because he was the reason Kurt felt like that in the first place. “How have you been?” A question usually thrown into small talk so casually now felt incredibly heavy. 

“Awful,” Blaine said truthfully. If this was supposed to be a heart-to-heart, he might as well be honest. 

Kurt nodded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Me too.”

“Kurt, you must know how sorry I am. God, I am so sorry I don't think I will ever be able to say it enough for it to cover the severity of how much I mean it, but-” 

Blaine was sure his heart stopped when he felt Kurt's hand on his leg. “I know. I believe you,” Kurt said. “And I meant it when I said I wanted to forgive you. But it’s hard for me, Blaine. I thought I could trust you with my life and then you…”

Blaine flinched. “I know.” 

“But maybe we can talk about how we can move forward?” Kurt prompted. He actually looked hopeful.

Blaine bit his lip. He wanted to move forward, but he couldn’t do that without moving back for a bit. He took a deep breath to gather the courage to speak, “I would actually really like to tell you what happened and why I did what I did.” It came out faster than he had hoped, but he had said it. “I also want to explain how I felt when you-”

Kurt stiffened and retreated his hand. “You don't get to blame me for cheating, Blaine,” he said slowly. 

Blaine felt like he had been slapped in the face. Where did that come from? “I- I'm not blaming you. I just want to explain how I felt. I-”

Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head. “I don't wanna fight about this again.”

Blaine wanted to take Kurt's hand, as if touching him would make him understand, but he didn't. “I don't want to fight about this either, Kurt, but we never really fought about it in the first place. We never even talked about what happened… you just decided you didn't want to hear what I had to say and let me drown in guilt.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I made you feel guilty for cheating on me,” Kurt snapped and stood up from the bed. 

Blaine stared at Kurt. The fear and sadness he felt before, made room for frustration. “Kurt, you know that's not what I mean.. I- Can we please just talk about this? That's why you’re here right? To have a conversation?”

“I’m not going to listen to you just trying to defend yourself, Blaine.” His voice was cold and flat. 

Blaine started to feel the desperation rise in his chest. “You are not listening, Kurt.” He was forcing himself not to cry, though tears were burning in his eyes. 

Kurt pursed his lips and started walking to the door. He was leaving. “This was a mistake.“ 

But before Kurt could reach the door knob Blaine stood up. “Can you please just listen to me!?” Blaine snapped, tears finally falling. He didn't want to raise his voice. He didn't want to fight, but Kurt just wasn't hearing him. “This is a big part of the problem, Kurt! You don't listen to me. You don't want to hear what I have to say, but I just- I need to explain. Please just for once listen to me!” Kurt couldn’t leave now. Not again. 

And for the first time, Kurt was quiet. His eyes were spitting fire, but he was listening. He was finally listening.

Without taking so much as a breath, Blaine continued. He had held these feelings inside for so long, now that he had started, he couldn’t stop the words from pouring out. “Every time I try to talk to you, you shut yourself off. You ignore me, you change the subject or you get angry. And I am sick of it. If you want to give us another shot, even just as friends, I need to be able to share my part of the story as well. You don’t think I hate myself for what I did? I cried myself to sleep about it for weeks, Kurt. I am not trying to play the victim here, but do you even know why I cheated on you? Do you think I did it because I was horny and because you weren't around I just asked the first person that wanted to fuck me if I could come over? You really think that?” At this Kurt’s expression changed slightly. He still looked furious, but Blaine could see something else behind his eyes. 

“I felt so alone, Kurt. I was scared. I had convinced myself you didn't love me anymore and I couldn't even tell you any of this because I could never get a hold of you for longer than two minutes. And when you finally did have a second to spare we only ever talked about you, which only strengthened the feeling I had that I just wasn't important to you. I felt completely replaced. You didn't need me anymore.”

Blaine saw that the anger in Kurt’s eyes had subsided a little. He had a pained expression on his face now and had defensively wrapped his arms around his chest.

Blaine took a deep breath. He had thought about what he was going to say next, but he never dared to say it out loud before. “I- I think maybe subconsciously I cheated on you so that that would be the reason you didn’t want to be with me anymore… not because I wasn't good enough or because you had just… fallen out of love with me.” Saying it somehow felt worse than thinking it. “I also desperately wanted to feel like I meant something to someone again.” Tears were now falling down Blaine’s cheeks. He didn’t want to think about what he was about to say next, he knew it would hurt Kurt, but he had to tell him. He just had to. “So when this guy, Eli, added me on Facebook, I thought… I don’t know, I thought maybe I would feel better.” 

Kurt flinched. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away as if to block out what Blaine was saying.

Blaine continued, “Maybe it would numb this ache in me. Maybe this was the only way I could get you to care. Or maybe I just wanted to protect myself against the pain. But whilst I was doing it, it mostly felt like I was punishing myself. For what, I don't really know. I guess for being stupid enough to believe I would be important enough for you to want me around when you moved to New York. I still don’t fully understand why I did it. All I know is I was hurt, and panicking and confused. And then, right after I did it, I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. It felt so wrong to be with someone else. I realised that no matter how bad things would've gotten between us, it was worth fighting for and I just threw it all away in a single night. The only thing I wanted was to undo what I did. And knowing that was impossible was the worst thing I've ever experienced.”

Blaine was dizzy. He felt such a deep-rooted all-consuming guilt. He knew it wasn't an excuse. The decision he had made on a whim in a state of panic had ruined the best thing he had. He had not only broken Kurt’s heart, but his own too. Being with someone else, giving his heart and body to a random guy so carelessly had made him feel sick. He felt gross and empty and he couldn’t even blame the guy he did it with because he didn't do anything wrong. He hadn't even known Blaine had a boyfriend. 

“I don’t know what I even expect from you, Kurt. I can’t ask for forgiveness. I understand if you decide you don't want anything to do with me, but just... I needed you to know. To understand maybe? I made the worst mistake of my life and I’ll never be able to undo what I did even though I would in a heartbeat.”

“I’m sorry.” Kurt's voice was so faint Blaine almost thought he had imagined it. 

“You- what?”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt repeated. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Blaine. I- I had no idea.” 

Blaine looked into Kurt’s eyes and saw that they were shining with tears. 

“I was so immersed in my new life. I was excited about everything that was going on in New York. I was making new friends and I am sorry I became blinded to how you were feeling. All when I promised you, you weren't gonna lose me. I promised and I failed you.” 

Blaine couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Never in a million years had he expected Kurt to apologise. He didn’t even know he needed to hear it until he did. “Kurt, I-”

“But you still hurt me, Blaine,” Kurt said, but there was no venom in his voice. Not anymore. “You broke my heart and my trust and I don't think I deserved what you did to me-”

“Of course you didn’t!”

“-But, I am glad you told me, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you needed me to hear you. I think I needed to hear this to move forward and try to forgive you. And I want to forgive you, Blaine, so bad, but I just… can’t. Not yet.” 

“I know.” It hurt to hear Kurt say that, but he knew he really couldn’t expect anything different. Kurt needed time. He needed to process everything Blaine had told him, but Blaine could wait. Even if he had to wait years for Kurt to fully forgive him, it would be worth it. “Can I…” Blaine hesitated. “Can I please hug you?” he dared to ask, hoping he wasn't pushing his luck. 

And then, before he knew it, Blaine was enveloped in Kurt’s arms. Completely taken aback, it took Blaine a second to register what was happening. He then slowly curled his arms around Kurt’s back and buried his face into Kurt's shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and tears started falling again, and they kept falling until he was sobbing in Kurt's arms. 

Kurt squeezed him tight. He held Blaine close and rubbed his back as Blaine clung to him as if he needed it to survive. It had been almost three months since he had been able to hold Kurt and he didn't dare to let go, afraid Kurt might disappear if he did. Blaine heard Kurt sniffle next to his ear. He was crying too. 

They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. The physical connection was like a godsend and the ache in Blaine's chest didn't feel as sharp anymore. Maybe, just maybe, the hole in his heart could finally start to heal. “Thank you,” he murmured into Kurt's shoulder when he had calmed down a bit, and then, “I love you." These last words said so softly they were barely audible as Blaine hardly dared to say them out loud at all.

They pulled apart and Kurt wiped the tears from his face with his hand. He gave Blaine a swift smile. “I love you, too,” he whispered back.

“Are we ever gonna be okay again?”

“I hope so.”