#especially with a not great car
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This is an attack on me personally. Why my boys gotta be at war? I just want points for both of them LOL
#i will also accept logan finishing 12 again#him being closer to points feels like it'll help#but i stand by he deserves another season#can't call someone up early and put weird expectations#especially with a not great car#and when it's not much worse than a few who've been around for a while#and i just want a confidence boost for him and Lance#mexico gp 2023#formula 1#F1#lance stroll#logan sargeant
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Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again
#I had to pause the game to bawl my eyes out#I WAS SO INVESTED IN HIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME#I think I get what you're trying to say to me game. is it worth it to put yourself in danger#and destroy yourself for a chance at a fame that you probably won't even get to enjoy#because you won't be there to see it?#is it worth it to break the hearts of the people you love in this pursuit? the people who'll grieve you?#I mean it's part of the first question that dex asks you when this whole thing starts and the last thing he says to you is also about that#about whether you wanna live a peaceful life or. go out like this#I get that. if that's what it's going for I get that. it gets the point across I'm not angry. but also#THAT WAS MY FRIEND#JACKIE MY FRIEND JACKIE 😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS THIS IS BULLSHIT#I'm never getting over this#sleep.txt#cp2077#jackie welles#OK OK HOLD ON I have more to say. I wanna expand on that jdjfkdkf bc I have Thoughts. especially playing corpo v like#I think the whole thing hit me even harder as corpo bc you get to see a sort of parallel situation with your v#where you had all this renown and respect but it came at a great cost. so great it nearly killed you#and then you go through that again and now you're dying and your friend is dead#and it's all in the pursuit of fame and money#that scene in the car when they're heading for the hotel reminded me so much of that initial scene with v#when you get in your fancy car and sip your fancy champagne#and like 10 minutes later nearly get killed by people from arasaka#I think there might be a point to be made there. about jackie heading towards the same kind of life just with a different coat of paint#being seduced by the same things we were seduced by while accepting the cost without fully understanding it#and then when you're faced with it it's. well it's heartbreaking and life ending#self destruction in the pursuit of something that makes you wonder if it was even all that worth it to begin with#viktor vektor is probably the happiest person I've met so far and that's saying something#anyway rant over. ty for your time I'm gonna go cry over jackie in the corner excuse me
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Chloe Chambers testing and giving feedback on the next gen f3 car, and Sophia Floersch test driving an f2 car. Things are looking up ladies!!
#i would be surprised if sophia got an f2 seat bc she’s not looking great in f3 standings rn#but maybe alpine has the spot and they just want to put someone in it?#either way w both of them it’ll be good to have feedback about the cars from women#especially with abbi on the way up in alpine!!#i hope chloe gets a freca seat next year#chloe chambers#sophia floersch#abbi pulling#f1 academy#f1#f2#f3
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rip eddie munson you would’ve loved ghost
#stranger things#eddie munson#ghost#ghost band#the band ghost#been getting into ghost and my brother seems to think they’re like. anti-christian#just because they’ve got the whole semi-ironic satanic thing going on#and the main thing#which is that they use an UPSIDE-DOWN CROSS in their logo and art and such#he keeps comparing it to?? a swastika????#anyway it just reminded me of the unfounded stigma against d&d in stranger things#also!! our parents!! are christians!!! and both of them!!! are perfectly fine!!! with ghost!!!!!#especially my dad!!! we listen to ghost in the car together it’s great!!!!!#oh yeah also my brother doesn’t even believe in heaven or the bible. so. there’s that.#rant over i suppose
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i literally can't believe the tour is almost over it flew by so quick it feels like yesterday i was sitting here watching them come up on stage for the first time in such a long while through a low-quality instagram live and freaking out on discord with the amazing friends i met through this silly little band. i remember seeing alex get on stage and immediately starting tearing up because my boys were really back !!!!!! and now it's been more than a year, the car release anniversary is coming up, i got to see them three times (they're real!!!! i was breathing their same air!!!! mind-blowing realisation every single time!!!!) and now there's only one show left and they're gonna disappear in just a few hours and i already miss them so much i can't even believe they're gonna dip. they've become such a constant presence in our everyday life, with updates and recents and live info on the shows all around the world, and i swear i can't believe it's all gonna be over so soon. i already miss them like air like sorry for being a dramatic bitch but it's the truth.................. what are we gonna do once they yeet themselves out of the public eye i swear the thought destroys me i'm not ready to say goodbye i love them so much they make me so happy and sad and angry and heartbroken and elated and i swear i can't bear the thought of not seeing their silly faces HIS SILLY FACE for god knows how long. i can't wrap my head around it like WHY do they have to leave. please never ever leave :( please don't take too long to come back this time :(💔
#it's been so much fun getting to share this experiemce with you moots </3 especially the nights where everyone was doing live commentary </3#i'm gonna miss that so much </3#there's been bumps along the way but it's really been such a great tour for a masterpiece of an album#and i'm always gonna hold this era close to my heart </3#thank you boys it's been a thrill </3#arctic monkeys#the car tour#ramblings
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Small things that make me very happy, a list of the absurd:
1. The fact that I can hear a roster crowing from inside my house, even though it's against zoning code. I love rooster crows. I love that I know of at least 3 flocks that have a roster within walking distance.
#also#i would do much rather great a roster crow in the morning#than my asshole neighbor who had a shitty car he'd just have idling long before dawn#shitty car because it's idle was a low pitch and loud and traveled through walls extremely well and woke me up at 3am more than once#also a zoning code that only allows for one half of a species is stupid#especially since the sexing accuracy rate is not 100%#so a bunch of people who were honestly trying to follow the law end up in a very awkward situation#especially since a lot of these people bond with their chicks starting from day one#so they don't want one of them to just end up in a soup pot after all that#well#that turned into a rant
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it’s so very depressing that other USAmericans who come to Portland, OR think that we have good accommodations for bicyclists and pedestrians. every Saturday while running errands I have to dodge elderly Orthodox men walking home down a hill in the street because there just randomly isn’t a sidewalk there for a while? but like, we do have sidewalks and bike lanes sometimes, so I guess we’re an eco-paradise
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Wish me luck today I’ve got a photography gig for the longest time and of course it’s an outdoor location and of course it’s -15 degrees Celsius outside and on top of that I need to drive over 100km and the roads are icy as fuck and I still have the shitty winter tyres I’ve been bitching about for weeks lmao
Let’s see how I’ll survive, running on faith at this point
#it’s not even six am and I’m staring outside like why#and I charged both of my batteries but I’m pretty sure they’ll die in the cold so fast#I really need to buy a battery grip#also I hate hate hate the idea of bringing my gear into those temperatures especially bringing them back in#I’ve got my mini grips for all my lenses and the body I know how to prevent the condensation but it still stresses me out#because that shit is coincidentally the most expensive shit I own#I’ve got insurance I’ve got insurance I’ve got insurance#also I’m manifesting not too horrible traffic this morning (I can always wish)#super great to be overly anxious about everything hours prior#also my pos car better start ffs#German cars aren’t built for this weather#but yeah I’ll give y’all an update if I survive#vee talks#photography
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Let’s abolish gender based gifts. No more pocket knives cuz ur a guy or makeup cuz ur a girl. Just get people what they as an individual would want pretty fucking please
#please I’m so sick of people getting me makeup and perfume and shit cuz they think I’m a girl#i have never enjoyed those things and anyone I’m close enough to that they would get me a gift knows this#it just comes across to me as they either are trying to get me to like those things because I ‘should’#or like they haven’t payed any attention to my interests and see me only as a girl#and even if I was a girl I think that would still hurt#especially seeing the things the guys get like cool rc cars or pocket knives compared to the unwanted accesories I get#like if someone barely knows me and they get me something because of a gift exchange thing for school or a club or smth then idc#they don’t know what I like and just took a guess that’s fine#but when my family I’ve known my whole life and that has never seen me ever wear makeup or express any interest in makeup and knows I do not#like it gets it for me#that kinda feels not great#i just kinda wanted to rant a bit#i hate when this happens#kinda feels like I’m not even a person with my own interests in their mind. just a ‘girl’ so I clearly like ‘girl things’#and if I’m just a girl in their minds then what happens when I tell them I’m not a girl?
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If I had ridiculous amounts of time and energy (and also a working tablet) I'd totally be making tons of QSMP animatics to songs from old 90s / 80s movies.
#i talk#QSMP talk#I'm listening to ''It's a B-Movie'' from The Brave Little Toaster rn while getting ready for bed#and I'm just like dang an animation of QSMP members and/or the Eggs trying to escape the Federation set to this song would slap#Especially that bit where they're like#''There goes the sun / Here comes the night / Somebody turn on the light / Somebody tell me that fate has been kind''#And then they get dragged back in#Also holy frick the Brave Little Toaster movie came out in the 80s!??! I'm turning to dust as we speak#Anyways the music from those older movies is still great#I'd love to have a QSMP ''episode'' that has the same vibe as those old cartoons#Me @ me: For the love of all that is holy please don't make a QSMP AU for all these old shows#Me @ me: Ok but what if–#''Worthless'' is also a really good song from The Brave Little Toaster#ALSO Me @ me shoving my previous ideas aside: BUT A TRANSFORMERS ANIMATION SET TO ''Worthless'' WOULD SLAP#That song always made me so frickin sad#I always felt so bad for those cars#I still do but I remember kid me just being so fascinated by The Brave Little Toaster#The flower scene made me frickin sob the last time I rewatched it
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Just ignore the haters - my brothers have huge collections of stuff like video game related and nobody says anything. They're having to sell some of it because of space but someone commented they thought the bedroom in the photo background was a shop because that's what it looks like lol. I have a bookcase of dolls and miniatures and my mom is like that's too much, it's weird, you're an adult etc so annoying
That sounds sooo cool. Your brothers are lucky they can get away with collecting so much and not get judged for it
It really is annoying when parents and other people make comments about how strange a toy collecting hobby is though, huh? For the most part I do try to ignore the haters. But I have crappy self esteem, so when somebody makes comments about my plushie collection sometimes it makes me uncomfortable and self conscious. But plushies make me happy, and there's so few things in this world that can bring me only pure joy. So I try to focus on how I feel about stuffed animals and not what others think or feel about them. They can go be miserable somewhere else, I'm gonna sit here and have fun with my toys. Nobody should say anything about what makes others happy, as long as its not smth harmful (which this definitely isn't).
#It just sucks that people think their opinion is so important that they feel the need to bring you down with it.#I personally think things like star wars or soap operas or cars or whatever are uninteresting and boring#but I don't go around telling people that and shaming them for being into those things#or collecting items related to them#if it makes you happy and its not hurting anyone or putting you in debt go for it! enjoy what you like!!#some people are just so miserable I swear#sorry you dont have something in your life that brings you this much joy#sorry you're jealous that there isn't a hobby that can make you smile simply by looking at the object of your affection#it isn't my problem. you go over there and pout about how you precieve smth like cloth shaped like an animal to be childish#while I sit here in my magical world of whimsy surrounded by all these adorable animal friends#I always say the main reason I collect plushies is because I don't have the space or means to house a whole zoo's worth of real animals#that would also be unethical and I wouldn't wanna do that to animals#especially ones that can't survive long in captivity such as great whote sharks#but I also collect stuffed animals because they're cute#thats enough reason to own smth imo#sorry to ramble in the tags#viti shoosh
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so proud of myself for putting a big part of my last paycheck in my savings like an adult but now im gonna spend all my savings like an idiot 😵💫
#i mean i am paying cash for my first vehicle which is like...adulting pro level but....at what cost (the price) 😭#also its a very cheap rusty old car tbh but i need a truck for the farm basically#so even tho i could keep driving my dad's car to work since he works from home it makes sense#especially bc its three people sharing that car with me and my brother#and my little brother is a full time student w no job so im the full time employed one so i should be the one to get a car#but i was determined to not take out a loan so its not a super nice car#but i'm buying it from a friend of my mom at a steal basically#like who sells a decent working car for 1500 anymore#but thats literally my entire savings so.... 😬#no car payment tho which will be nice but aaaaaaaaa#and im worried its kind of a junky car and will need tons of repaira all the time and not be reliable#but my commute is really short and i never drive anywhere besides work which is good for an unreliable car#im not convinced its a great investment to put all my savings into an unreliable vehicle but my parents told me its a good investment so#😬👍#adulting yayyyyy#i am getting paid this friday tho so my savings wont be so alarmingly empty for long#but i have other big expenses so im stressed#however it is a nice christmassy red pickup truck which is good for a christmas tree farm#but last payday i was like why do i have so little money in my savings thats dumb and not very grown up im gonna put as much as i can spare#then a week later withdrew almost all of it for the car 🤡#possibly a stupid decision#but maybe a great one idk#and it saves my parents having to buy a trailer for my mom's car for farm stuff so they're gifting me $300 towards it#and it will be satisfying to buy it outright and have no debt on it#but oof it hurts so much to make big purchases#i've never spent this much money except on tuition#i dont know that its specially unreliable i just know its got rust and duct tape and they're selling it bc they'd rather have a car payment#bc they put more money into it than its worth#but its got new tires and brakes and passed inspection somehow with the rust sooo? maybe its not as bad as it looks 😂
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We’ve officially hit the point where I can’t fucking sleep because of this shit and on top of everything the AC went out I literally want to cry I’m so stressed I physically feel like shit like I need to throw up I’m so tired but between my stomach hurting, the stress, and the heat I can’t
#today he told me it ‘wasn’t fair’ that I expected him and his bf to move#just because I refused to get rid of my ‘disgusting cats’ and they would be ‘happier’ in a shelter#his reasonings for why they would be happier in a shelter were all things that they did not do/did not happen until he started this shit#‘they’re always hiding and you never spend time with them’#they hide from YOU#early morning and late at night when you’re in your room they’re fine#im out here rn just sitting with them giving them attention#also yeah I used to give them attention for AT LEAST several hours of the day#but after I essentially got chased out of all the common areas no obviously that wasn’t happening#man FUCK YOU#also sorry I don’t want to spend literal THOUSANDS more than I would other wise to fucking move#esp when YOU moving means no changes in your finances#you make over 50k a year I make barely 20k AND already have more bills to pay than you#why the FUCK should I be getting stuck with the far worse financial decision#and then to try and frame it like you’re getting treated ‘unfairly’ just because I won’t get rid of my cats for you??????#I genuinely hope the stupid fucking car your mom gave you explodes tomorrow idc idc idccccc#ESPECIALLY WHEN HE BOTH THREATENED AND SAID HE DIDNT CARE TO MOVE OUT#and when I said ‘great. do that’ he starts throwing this fucking fit#I hate him so much it is so goddamn UNREAL#I am dealing with a giant man baby who has never been told no in his life before now#and it’s really fucking showing#this is what happens when parents give their kids everything they want#and you have normie cis white man privilege and have also gotten every job/into every program you’ve ever wanted with minimal effort#so when someone finally says ‘no you don’t get whatever you want at my expense’#he has the most immature meltdowns fucking imaginable#kaz rambles
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#he's so insane omg.#just like the.#the way that HE is a little freak who beats around the bush#the implication that nisei is like. direct and polite with him is also really funny.#because like yeah but also lol. because like that's implied to be masking but mei at some point points out that masking is to a degree--#the real you like WE KNOW NISEI CAN BE SO CUTES AND NICEYS ITS JUST LIKE OMG. SCREAMS THEYRE CRAZY sighs#nisei is also the kind of person who is just like masking and hiding and pushing away everything and i think like a lot of the stuff he--#feels gets filtered through the lens of anger like omg.#when mei complains about nisei not liking her it's so sweet like she hates him but wants him to like her bc she's so cutes and stuff and--#like we never see him being directly rude to her to her face which is like. sweet FOR NISEI. in his own way.#she like doesn't understand that he's like crazy and hates everyone because he's crazy but also moreoever it seems like he especially--#dislikes like.#children but in really specific ways like he hates incompetent children because he's projecting and he hates competent children because--#he's jealous and also self loathing as always lmfao like HE'S SO FUNNY IDK idk.#he's so crazy omg they're all so crazy. i love nisei he's so great. omg.#*hits him with my car and giggles*#mine
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i am a little worried about you Princess. are you ok?
#I’m doing….. okay??????#I love my new job so that’s great#I get to be with puppies all day#have to do a lot of cleaning but they are worth it 🫶#but my depression and anxiety have been baaaaaaad lately#I have a few ideas why my depression has been rough lately#but that doesn’t make it any easier#I want to work and be with dogs all day every day but I can’t work thaaaat much (only part time)#also it doesn’t pay amazingly unfortunately so I’ll probably have to find another job on top of it#especially with my 26th birthday coming A LOT faster than I’d like#I’ve had to do a lot of cleaning and packing which is completely fair since my parents want to have people over for the holidays#totally totally fair#but it’s also sad cause I have to box up a lot of my stuff/hobbies#like I boxed up practically all of my painting stuff since idk when I’ll be able to do that again#my room is jam packed with shit so I’ve only been home to sleep#spend the rest of the time in the car but it’s not really mine so I can’t smoke in here so half of the time I fall asleep#idk idk idk I just feel like I’m complaining all the damn time so I’m trying to shut up and keep it to myself a bit#it’s just the same thing over and over again and nothing is gonna change unless I move#and that’s incredibly unrealistic right now#also I’m worried about my dad more and more each day so that doesn’t help#I want to do something with him or for him but our relationship hasn’t been the best and idk how to fix it#and I’m terrified something is going to happen and I won’t be able to#oooofda that was a lot#and that was only a little bit of what’s going on#but at least I have a job now so that’s cool haha#sometime I’ll have to show you guys some puppy pics I have so many now haha#thanks for checking in lovely#I hope you’ve been doing ok 🫶#ask
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When I turn 21 I’m getting my cdl license and spending all my time driving a big truck <3
#been thinking about it for years#I would be perfect for driving a big truck#I have great depth perception with cars#I love driving especially alone#I love travel I love being solo and stopping at truck stops#I could be ur butch trucker mutual plz#you can get ur cdl at 18 in Florida but you can only drive in Florida and that’s kinda lameeeee#but I’ll think about it#you have to be 21 to drive across the us
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