#but yeah I’ll give y’all an update if I survive

[valoale]

Wish me luck today I’ve got a photography gig for the longest time and of course it’s an outdoor location and of course it’s -15 degrees Celsius outside and on top of that I need to drive over 100km and the roads are icy as fuck and I still have the shitty winter tyres I’ve been bitching about for weeks lmao

Let’s see how I’ll survive, running on faith at this point

[herebecritters]

Are the characters without an x on them going to have significant role in any of the stories ?

YEAH!

Well Bullet (the red guy in the bottom left corner) isn’t so much actively in Be Brave but he’s still technically canon to it. He’s a big part of the Flippy backstory that @ickyguts has written and im pretty much in love with it so it’s canon to me ^w^

Kyle the Mononykus and Splash (the lil mint colored Dino and the purple plesiosaur) are part of the overall Be Brave story but they are only alive during the Dino-Sore Days timeline. I mean…mass extinctions are pretty rough. But they were very close pals to Cro during those days and have had their own run ins with the trio before the meteor hit. You may see them in the main timeline but they will be fossils hehe

Nergal has a particular dislike for Kyle since he’s the one who gave Nergal his lip scar. ;)

Abigail, Lydia, and Aaron (the lil kid rat at the top, the blue girl rat and the yellow goat at the bottom right) are also significant to the story but they are only really around for the 300 year Colony. They did not survive past it. Lydia is John’s sister and Abigail’s mother. Aaron is Abigail’s father and Lydia’s husband. They were all important and active parts of John’s family.

There are other ocs too that are a part of this universe. We are always fleshing out the entire world and history and it’s constantly growing and taking shape, I’ll have to do an update on it soon. It’s become a HUGE thing and writing it in dms with your friends is one thing but making easily digestible content to present publicly is a whole ‘nother beast entirely. Slowly but surely <3

The interest and interactions that y’all show up here really does help give me that gas I need to work on it more so thank you! Even if I’m kinda garbage at responding in a timely manner…But it really does mean the world to me.

I’ll rethrow these up here for good measure!

Of course new characters and stories have been written and added since these were made but they still hold up.

[gamergirl2million]

Update on Nasty Dog Animation: I actually have not worked on actual scenes and other components of it yet. The reason because I realized I will probably end up show hands in the video…I had not properly practiced hands at that point, so I started practicing. Surprisingly, I had shared my progress to my friends and one of them said they were surprised how quickly I improved…I started doing this a week and a half ago, so it was kinda fast lol. Here is the progression of those hands! I am also adding the sketches progression as well!

TW! Middle Finger

I’m also shocked on the progress as well! Although, that last digital drawing has that fist I feel is the weakest hand pose, but it still looks good! And I am very proud of the peace sign!~✨

Also, that last traditional sketch pic does say final page…after years of having the sketchbook (I believe I got it back in middle school) and not drawing for years after the first year I got it and a few more after V4nny’s Lord Eclipse server, I was not expecting to end up filling it. It’s kinda bittersweet…

Anyway, another update about the animation…it ain’t gonna be complete until after Christmas (maybe) and possibly until next year! The main reason is…well…I have a confession to make. I…don’t have a drawing tablet…the artworks you have seen by me so far have all been done digitally…on an app called Sketchbook…on my iPhone…with my finger…yeah, I don’t know how I have survived this long with it either. But when I was doing the hands, I realized how hard it was drawing them and realized…I could probably do better if I didn’t use my fingers lol.

I say after Christmas…because I’m actually hoping to be gifted a drawing tablet! I already told my mom and Nana I wanted one, so it’s in consideration! If it doesn’t happen, then maybe I’ll get it on my Birthday in February? I also have a friend who said that if he gets a better tablet, he would give me his old one if I didn’t have one of my own by then!

Either way, I think it’s best if I put the animation on back burner (did I use the term right idk) until I get a drawing tablet because I think it will cause my art to thrive more than it, surprisingly, has already! Don’t worry! I ain’t abandoning it! It’s just…gonna take longer than me and you were expecting!

In the meantime, I’m also working on another project that I wanted to do…that is not art in image, but “art” in words! I’m trying to write a video essay for the first time and I hope to have the script done and to have the video come out AFTER the animation meme! Why after the animation meme? Well, I kinda want to recreate my self-OC (the one as my pfp) and make some fun art for it! I feel cheap if I just ripped the character art from the game itself…yes, the video essay is about a video game! I think you can take a good guess which game too lol.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, but I hope y’all understand why it’s gonna be a while before the animation is out. My friends have been so encouraging of me and I would have the drive to continue working without them! College has been scary and new, so doing stuff like this helps me destress! I hope y’all have a wonderful day and you look beautiful/handsome/divine today!~✨💗

[the-bed-gremlins-reading-list]

HEY. I LIVE. (Kinda.)

So. I’m gonna preference this by saying I’ve decided that my July self is forgiven. I had a LOT of crap happen in July. (Highlights include a emergency visit for myself and my dog having cancer, and that’s literally just the highlights.) There was no way to get any writing or anything done in July with as much as things were snowballing. And August has been 24 days of me yanking myself back into self-care routines and out of a very basic survival mode. SO. Yeah.

I am finally not but I am going on a two week road trip. I will have spotty internet and no computer for that time. I am taking my notebooks with me so I will be writing, probably.

Both projects are still alive, still being worked on. I’m still in love with both ideas. Might actually be more in love with them now than at the last “progress” update I dropped in to give.

Phoenix Knight is actually going to be revamped (again) when I get back. I was never in love with the flashback idea, but I thought that having you literally die in the prologue was too dark. I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to go back and write the first part the way I wanted to in the beginning (but talked myself out of). I feel like the story will flow better than way. I’m also going to change the way that you meet the Phoenix crew so it’s a little more structured but that gives you a better introduction to each cast member, I hope.

And I’m working on character development with the RO’s for the Detective Delphi project (which still needs a better final name) so I’ll probably have short scenes and snippets when I get back. (Trying to decide how I feel about accidentally making Warren into a Batman and Siren being as heavily influenced by Alec Hardison from Leverage as they are. Oops.)

That said - anything you want to know based on the scant information you do have, or any prompts you’d like me to fill (I don’t have any lists on this blog yet but feel free to just send me stuff you find elsewhere or ideas you have), drop it in my ask box - I won’t answer until I get back, but I’ll be able to write the prompts and think about the asks while I’m away.

Sorry for the radio silence, and thank y’all for continuing to be interested despite the lack of progress!

I’ll see y’all again soon!

[cutie1365]

God i need to fucking rant about this bitch. How do I always get stuck with the shittiest fucking roommates man.

I’m tired of two faced bitches who say one thing to you and turn around and do the complete opposite.

Why can logic and common sense not get through to this bitch????

First her mother destroys my furniture by fucking spray painting it! Spray paint! Without my knowledge or permission! These fucking back woods idiots who wouldn’t know their head from their ass.

They moved all my boxes and furniture without me knowing and left shit everywhere and somehow my shit ended up in their car six hours away and if I wasn’t on my shit they would have stolen it and I would have never gotten it back.

All my furniture was damaged from them throwing it about and leaving it in the hot sun outside. My TV was laying in the yard for an hour unwatched in 100 degree heat. How it wasn’t stolen is beside me.

Then this bitch thinks it’s smart to have a 145lb dog and leave us to watch it while she works 12 hour shifts. We’re not ur fucking babysitter.

And when we tell her it’s not our responsibility to watch her dog SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO YELL AT ME. Talking bout how we knew she had a dog. Yeah bitch YOU have a dog, not me. Not my other roommates. Your fucking dog. Not our job to babysit and let it out to piss and see what’s wrong when she’s crying locked in her shoe box room.

She agreed to wipe the dogs paws when she brings her in from outside so we don’t track the dirt into the house. Before we moved in we discussed this. She said YEAH NO PROBLEM. Then when she never once did it- we said what happened to that huh we talked about that. She says “Why would I do that? It’s a dog we’re gonna get dirt inside”. Bitch I know you live in a fucking pigsty in the middle of butt fuck no where but here we don’t want to be stepping in mug and grass in our fucking living room.

She said she’d sweep up after the dog a few times a week because she SHEDSSS like crazy. Yeah she’s never once swept and when we brought that up she says “we’re not gonna have a spotless house what do u expect”. Bitch the other three of us are cleaning up after ur ass all the time. You may be used to living in filth because you’ve never cleaned anything a day in your life, but we like to not collect a pile of dog hair on our feet just from walking from one end of the living room to the other.

So she yells, and I don’t take shit so I yell back. Bottom line, take care of your own dog we’re not doing it for you.

She’s also killing the poor dog. She’s locked up without peeing for 12 hours a day, gets no exercise. She never talks her. Then when she comes home she lets her out then goes into her room and falls asleep so the dog basically is in the tiny room 24 hours a day with no exercise. She’s a fucking Great Dane. The room is so small she can only lay on the bed all day.

And she feeds her 20 count Chickfila Chicken nuggets. That’s so bad! And this is a regular thing. Not like a treat every once and a while. Human food all the time. The dog won’t eat her dry food anymore. She’ll just dump whatever’s in the fridge into the bowl. I once saw her feed the dog tortilla soup. TORTILLA SOUP.

Here’s the fucking kicker- SHES TRYING TO BE A VET. This woman is killing her own dog and she thinks she can go take care of others.

She also has the vocabulary and reading comprehension skills of a 2nd grader and you think you can survive higher education. She thinks she’s fucking god and shits on people in liberal arts colleges or other degrees besides hers, yet she can’t write a two page paper.

She needs to realize she has 3 other roommates. We talked about keeping the common space free of clutter and personal items so that everyone can use it and it stays clean. She agreed. Then she put a huge fucking dog bed in the living room after we explicitly said were putting a big plant here. (The dog has never sat in it because it’s locked in the room all day). And so when my roommates propose a compromise of leaving the bed in her room and taking it out when she’s sitting out in the living room she said “no, I’m not budging). You fucking cunt. She’s doing it just to pisss me off I swear. It has never been used, it is a waste of space, we are putting something else in that spot, it’s ugly, and it SMELLS.

HER WHOLE ROOM SMELLS SO BAD THAT IT LINGERS INTO HALF THE LIVING ROOM. And her room is right by the front door so it hits u right when u walk in. I swear I think that dogs peeing in her room. You’d think someone died in there.

The dog vomits and has diarrhea alll the time cuz she feeds her shit. That poor dog is gonna die because she’s neglecting her.

AND THEN

AND THEN

The day after this conversation of “you haven’t followed thru on any of the things we agreed on before and the dog is ur responsibility not ours, we’re not taking care of it for you”.... SHE BLOCKS ME ON TWITTER.

My other roommate wakes me up to show me she turned her twitter private and kicked me off then posted some big rant and said “Friendly reminder that NO ONE has the right to not treat you with kindness. You are loved, appreciated, and deserve to be here as much as anyone else. In the midst of this pandemic, cut out those who provide anything other than support and positive energy”.

What fucking baffles me is that my other two roommates were by my side and we all said the same thing so why she’s singling me out is beside me. And how can us saying “we’re worried for the health of ur pet because she’s locking in a room all day and needs to pee” is negative energy. Kill ur fucking dog for all we care then bitch, we brought up our concern now it’s on you.

It’s been a fucking month. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

And she’s one of those people who has family money then turns around and says she’s poor and her family’s poor and she had to help buy them groceries this summer. Then turn around and buy a $2,000 ring for fun. She has small town money where they have those ugly checkered Louis vutton bags and she wants gucci boots, but then she’s like idk I don’t have money for groceries I can’t contribute.

And I know in the end everything will work out. Because she’ll go right back to living in that small as town and never leave. But dear lord please don’t let her be a vet. Spare those poor animals. It’s not their fault she’s a brainless fuckup.

And like if she was just dumb, fine. She can’t help that. But then she wants to turn it around and act like she’s a fucking genius and everyone is below her.

AND I FOUND OUT SHE VOTED FOR TRUMPPPPP.

Kill me. Just kill me.

I guess I’ll update y’all cuz I’m sure she’ll do more dumb shit soon and I need to rant because it physically PAINS me how angry I get. Like a knot in my chest how she can’t see logic or common sense.

OO and after her mom painted my furniture... because they had damaged it and instead of telling me and offering to help fix it. They took it out of my room and spray painted it (the wrong color and just let it drip if anyone knows how to properly use spray paint). So I told her hey just letting u know that really upset me, I know it was ur mom and not you and you probably didn’t know it happened, but I’m mad and it will take me a few days to get over it. Just so she’s not like Oo why is she mad at me why’s she not talking to me. And she was like I completely understand my mom feels really bad I’m so sorry I didn’t know she did that. Ok we’re all good go about our days.

THEN I find out from my other roommate that she had talked to her and was like Idk why she’s mad, I’m mad that she’s mad. BITCH. What if I took ur furniture out of ur room and decided to spray paint some random lines on it in a different color. I had to sand and repaint it (with fucking paint not spray paint because why the fuck would u do that).

I’m bout to catch a charge lol I get so headed just remembering it.

So yeah if y’all wanna give me some validation that I’m not crazy and this isn’t normal behavior please do, I’m spiraling.

This was a long ass rant but this is my life.

Any witches out there wanna manifest her coming to her senses or moving out and still paying her rent lol that would be great.

Karma honey, nows ur time to shine. Take care of it

[brienneevenstar]

Hi, any recs on modern AU JB fics?

Yasss! It’s my time!

First off, check out my ao3 bookmarks because I might be missing out on some great stuff. Sadly I only started bookmarking regularly very recently (say, after S8 lol) so this list is missing some fics. I’ll go through my downloads again when I have time.

Blessings in Disguise - Former A Lister!Jaime and Stage Manager!Brienne in a production of The Importance of Being Earnest. Hasn’t been updated since 2016 (sobs) but it ends on a good note.

The Contract - both of them are actors this time. I love the social media snippets, the Cereal GC sounds exactly like the Cereal stans on twitter.

Just An Act - High school AU with the ASOIAF cast putting on a Christmas play. Jaime is lead of course. Super cute. Has mild Rhaegar bashing which is always a plus.

Same Time, Next Year - JB childhood friends from ten to 18 years old. Hints of reincarnation au

two halves of a soul - Honestly I think we should credit this fic for helping the JB fandom survive after S8. Make sure to check out angel_deux’s profile for the Jaime POV fic and also some other one-shots based on this series!

dance with me and shake your bones - a sequel to two halves of a soul, this time with p0rn!

Beast and the Beast - not even gonna put a link because I’m sure y’all have read it.

The Higher Education of Brienne Tarth - the grandmother of all school AU’s imo

This is The One - ao3 user disappointed_turtle *zooms in* is muh queen. This one has soccer player Brienne and firefighter Jaime. Featuring other asoiaf ladies as Brienne’s fellow players. Check out their new mod au wip, Cloudbusting as well. It’s quite a bit darker.

St George’s Day - has a similar feel to This is The One. There are a lot of funny JB fics, but this is one of the few that made me laugh out loud. 

The Wake Up - While You Were Sleeping AU. Super soft but hasn’t been updated in a year

Something Blue - Wedding planner Jaime has to do Brienne’s wedding to Hyle Spoiler alert, that wedding does not happen. Has mild Rhaegar bashing, which is, again, a plus.

Clean Hands - obligatory Gwendoline Christie rec

Kismet with a Side of Fries - cute one-shot. tumblr and ao3 user francoeurs please return to me from the war

something good and right and real - single parent Jaime meets newbie single parent Brienne

Working 9 to 5 (for service and devotion) - great p0rn with hints of feelings

Pilot Light - chefs!

Rose-Colored Glasses - fuck yeah, new p0rn!

Ser Goldenpaws and the Wench - does it count as modern if it’s set around 1950′s? This fic is so underrated probably because it’s JB as golden retrievers. But it’s so good and adorable.

Brienne of the Sapphire Isle - yes this is cheating because this is based on Anne of Green Gables which is from the last century. But it is more modern than ASOIAF. So there.

The OTP Series - Myrcella, Margaery, and Sansa love YA author Brienne Tarth and they also love LOVE! So they set her up with Myrcy’s Hot Uncle Jaime. Also one of the JB fics that made me LOL.

Fever - This is a Rodeo AU. The one fic that made me give any premise in a JB fic a chance, no matter how odd.

All the Redemption I Can Offer - a post-ADWD fic, except set in modern times.

Run Fat Knight Run - a mod AU that’s also a S8 fix-it? yeah. Obviously, angsty.

The Wine is Not Enough - JB and a bunch of other characters attend the premiere of Cersei’s new film. It ends well for JB, if not for the film.

Everyone Has Secrets - Girl with a Dragon Tattoo AU. Has one of the best smut scenes in JB fics imo. This one’s darker than the others.

All the Roads are Winding - kinda cheating because this is a multiverse with a mod au, canon-based AU’s, apocalypse AU’s, but honestly, if you haven’t read this one, what are you doing???

The Dark, Dread Toyshop - Has magical realism and sexual awakenings. Go read it now.

LadyRhiyana’s mod au ficlets - especially the ones with Jaime the vampire who feeds on love, not blood 

ddagent’s mod au ficlets - especially… everything in this collection. ddagent tells us to prompt her for sequels to the ficlets we like but we like all of them!

[oscars-wifeyyy]

Chapter 13 (The Innocent)

It was back to school and Elizabeth’s last doctor’s appointment for her check up. It was a new year and junior year for her so she hoped that it would be one of the best. She found Monse and Cesar holding hands about to go downstairs so she caught up with them and walked next to them while Ruby, Olivia, and Jamal caught up and walked with them as well.

“It’s a new year,” Jamal said.

“And a new day,” Monse said with a smile.

“Finally, we can get back to normal,” Ruby said.

“Turner!” The football coach called out.

Lunch time came around and the crew was walking to find a seat and Jamal was freaking out, “guys! I have eyes on me,”

“Me too. post-shooting lookie-loos are out in full force,” Elizabeth groaned.

“Elizabeth, Ruby!” a girl called out. Elizabeth pulled down her shirt to show the gunshot wound while the girl took a picture, “thanks,”

“I don’t know how long I can take being Bullet Girl and Bullet Boy,” Elizabeth sat down at a lunch table.

“I just wanna get back to normal,” Ruby sighed.

“Normal?” Jasmine appeared, “Baby, you ain’t ever been normal! You got that special sauce flowing through your veins. And probably all over that juicy nalga,” Jasmine laughed while Elizabeth and Olivia tried to hold in their laugh, “Elizabeth said that I can sit with y’all,”

“Shoot, I forgot dessert,” Ruby tried to leave, but Jasmine wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh, you sit. I got you. Sugar free sweets for my super-sweet treat, coming right up!” Jasmine walked away.

“I’m sorry, but ever since my brush with death, I made a bargain with the big man. Or woman. Let’s just say the universe is gender neutral. But that part of the deal was to work on my karmic energy, be a better person so shit don’t go sideways,” Elizabeth explained.

“Couldn’t you choose to save the rain forest instead?” Monse asked.

“See? I knew this would be an issue,” Ruby said.

“Speaking of commitment, we need to make one. What are we gonna do with the cheddar? We need a plan of action ASAP. First thing after school, all-hands meeting. This kind of gouda can get ripe real quick. I’m not sure we can handle it if people start sniffing around,” Jamal said.

“Cheesy, but I like it,” Ruby said.

“Yes!” Jamal and Ruby fistbumped.

“Sorry, y’all keep me updated. I got a shift over at the restaurant today and I need the money,” Elizabeth shrugged.

The group nodded, “right now, the money as is makes us targets. We need to move quickly to wash the cash so we can use the money and help Cesar survive.” Monse added and Cesar agreed.

“Ok. So where are we meeting?”

“My dad’s coming home this afternoon,” Monse said.

“So we can’t do it at Monse’s and my house is pretty tense post big-debacle, and Cesar never hosts. So, Ruby, it’s you.” Jamal reasoned.

“No. Your mom doesn’t want me around,” Cesar said.

“Oh, my mom’s got a job all week, so we’re good. My house after school,” Ruby said.

Everyone agreed, but Elizabeth, “sorry, y’all. I got work after school, but let me know what you decide,”

After school, everyone went their separate ways and Oscar picked Elizabeth up at the next street, driving to the restaurant. The two talked about nothing in particular, just enjoyed the other’s company until they got to the restaurant.

“Thank, baby,” Elizabeth kissed Oscar’s cheek, “you’re probably going to be busy later so I can take the bus or call an uber,”

“Nah, if I am busy, one of your three Santos can pick you up,” Oscar scoffed, “you trippin’, you ain’t gonna use public transportation,”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “whatever, estupido. I gotta go, bye,”

Elizabeth got out of the car and ran inside the restaurant, tying her apron strings behind her back, but the manager of the restaurant, Noah, came up to her, “Elizabeth, I need to talk to you in my office,”

“Ok,” Elizabeth hesitated going, but did it anyway, “what happened, sir?”

“It is to my understanding that you have suffered a gunshot wound,” Noah stated.

“Yes, sir,”

“Interesting. Well, seeing from where you are from, I am going to have to release you from this establishment. I don’t want any of your…” Noah grimaced, “gangs to come in here and destroy the reputation of this restaurant,”

Elizabeth was there, speechless, but a fire erupted in her as she started yelling, “are you frickin’ kidding me?! I am the hardest worker here and I do well from ‘where I’m from’. Now I see you for what you are. A typical white racist asshole who doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone else but himself, so no, I am not fired. I quit,” Elizabeth threw her apron at Noah and walked out. She saw Oscar still there so she jumped in his car, “let’s go home,”

“Que? Don’t you have work?” Oscar looked at her confused.

“No! I will explain it. Let’s just go!” Elizabeth seethed so as soon as Oscar started driving, she started talking, “Noah, the manager, fired me today because I got shot and he didn’t want any ‘gangs’ to ruin the reputation. That place doesn’t even have five stars on Yelp so reputation my ass,”

“What?” Oscar looked angry, “he fired you because you from Freeridge then?”

“Basically,” Elizabeth groaned, “Now I don’t have a job since Amazon is only a summer job. I have to find some job now,”

“No, you’re not. I got you,”

“No, Oscar. I am an independent woman that can handle her shit. I don’t need your money. Can we get tacos right now? I want to get some carnitas and carne asada tacos,” Elizabeth pulled her hair from the ponytail, “I can probably apply at the taco joint and at Dwayne’s, maybe,”

Oscar grabbed her hand, “bebe, you don’t need two jobs. Let me help you and ma out,”

“No. I got this. I can do this, I mean I’ve done this before. I can work weekends and after school, all nighters aren’t new to me, anyway. Less time with the squad, but that doesn’t matter,” Elizabeth rambled, “no, no. I got this, yeah,”

Oscar scoffed, but didn’t say anything until they got to Tio’s Taqueria. The two walked in and Marc Jimenez, the owner, walked out and greeted the Santos leader, “Hola, Spooky. What can I get for you today?”

“Let me get dos carnitas tacos y dos carne asada tacos,” Oscar nodded.

“Hello, sir. My name is Elizabeth Hernandes and I was wondering if I could maybe get a job here? I can help with anything at minimum wage,” Elizabeth shuffled her feet.

“Si, Elizabeth. My worker got deported not long ago so when can you start?” Marc asked.

“As soon as possible! I can work after school until closing every other day,” Elizabeth smiled.

“Muy bien. Spooky, it’s gonna be $5,” Marc said to Oscar, but Elizabeth jumped in and shoved a five dollar bill in his hand, “gracias, chica,”

“No. Give it back,” Oscar glared at Elizabeth, “I got you, Eli, so take your money and sit down,” Elizabeth stood her ground and glared right back, “fine. Take her money, I’ll make sure to tell a certain someone that you were planning to get two jobs. She won’t like that very much either,”

“Fine,” Elizabeth took back her five dollars and sat down at a table, “stupid boy thinks he can do all that shit,” a plan formulated in her head as she smirked and put the bill in her back pocket. Oscar sat down with her shortly after with the four tacos, “Thank you, Spooky,”

Oscar looked at her suspiciously, “what are you up to?”

Elizabeth looked up at him innocently, “what are you talking about, lovely?” Oscar scoffed, but still held a smile as he shook his head. Finally the two were done and on their way to Elizabeth’s place since Cesar texted her that he wasn’t gonna be in until night. The two settled in the living room, Elizabeth laying on top of Oscar as they lay across the couch, watching whatever was on until Elizabeth’s plan started in motion. Elizabeth looked up and started kissing Oscar enough to get him distracted and slowly put the five dollars in his front pocket.

They heard keys jingle through the front door so they scrambled to look normal, Elizabeth sat next to Oscar with her legs thrown over his as Oscar just sat with his arm around her. The door opened to reveal Leticia coming in with groceries so the two stood up and quickly helped her put them away, grabbing a couple snacks that she brought too.

“What were you guys doing?” Leticia asked the couple.

“Your daughter tried to distract me so she could shove five dollars in my pocket for the tacos I bought her today. Tell her to take it back,” Oscar held up the bill, “nothing gets passed me, amor,”

“Eli, get your money back right now,” Leticia said, “now, how was work?”

“I quit, but I got another one at the taco joint around the corner,” Elizabeth said.

“Why did you quit? I thought you liked working there,” Leticia questioned.

“Oh, nothing,” Elizabeth said as Oscar scoffed, “don’t lie, Elizabeth. She quit because the manager is racist. Talkin’ about bringing in gangs in the establishment or some shit,”

“Oscar!” Elizabeth yelled, “why did you snitch?!”

“Oh, you want me to snitch? Ok. Ma, Eli is going to get-” Oscar started, but Elizabeth covered his mouth, “Eli is going to bring home some tacos and barbeque once her new one job starts,”

Oscar pushed her hand away, “she’s getting two jobs. One at the taco joint y Dwayne’s Barbecue,”

“Elizabeth Hernandes, is that true?!” Leticia yelled.

Elizabeth began slapping Oscar, but Leticia took off her shoe and started hitting Elizabeth, “are you estupido? You are not supposed to be stuck here! You’re supposed to go to UCLA and get out, to get a better life outside of Freeridge! Don’t you dare get two jobs. I said I got the bills and things also stop hitting mi precioso,”

Elizabeth sat down on the couch, “wow, you love Oscar more than me. Ma, please. I want to help and I can stay up or do it during my electives and other classes because we all know I can ace it without even trying,”

Leticia sat down next to her, Oscar sitting on the armrest, “Mija, I am your mother. I am supposed to provide for you, not you provide for us. I will allow you to have these jobs, but I want you to use what you earned and go on a shopping spree or do something for you,”

“Thank you, mama. You do know I am still going to pay for some of the bills, right?” Elizabeth giggled as she hugged her mother.

“Oscar, talk some sense into this puta,” Leticia unwrapped Elizabeth’s arms from around her, “now, I am going to sleep. Buenas noches,”

“Buenas noches,”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[survivingsusac]

So those of y’all who follow me on Instagram or Facebook know that Dr. Walks His Cat hooked me up with a physical therapist. And that I was JUICED about it. For those of you who aren’t at that stalker level, the picture attached to this post is what I shared.

The referral is to a person who specializes in treating people with spasticity. Of the legs (that’s me), the arms, torso, anything.

Spastic Gait

Now of all the symptoms (Sx) that Susac has given me, the spastic gait is the one I can’t really DO anything about. It annoys me the most.

Sx BRAO: my left eye, which is fine, compensates for the BRAO in my right eye. That’s me doing something.

Sx Memory deficit: the short-term memory retention issues I had at the beginning of my fight with SS were detrimental but have pretty much resolved. In part because JESUS, in part because I put my brain in check with exercises, and in part because I have learned methods which I use to help really crystalize the important knowledge to make it really stick.

Sx Spastic Gait: recall from my last Botox Update post the science about my brain being the problem causing the spastic gait. Now no matter how much I learn about the brain, no matter how many MRI tours of my brain Dr. Walks His Cat takes me on (I have SEEN my cochleae!!! They’re adorable structures) I cannot actually DO anything to change what has happened in my brain.

This. Drives. Me. Bonkers.

I may or may not have issues rooted in control, haha!

But earlier this month Dr. Walk His Cat told me about Neurological Rehab Center and their specialization with spasticity. I literally said, “Sign me up!”

This morning I go to the Center.

The place is small. There is one big entry room where the check in lady, Margaret, sits and the main exercise and stretching takes place. And one smaller work room to the rear. And one restroom.

There’s also a bonus, a donut counter in the center by the quad lift machine. And it stocked every day. I know this because I asked this very critical question.

But I’m a new patient in what I have concluded is a boy’s club type of establishment. Which, upon further consideration, makes sense. The patients are dealing with various issues that have resulted in their spasticity, like strokes and MS. That gives us a demographic that I have very little experience with—patients who are male, 50 to 70 years old. When I walked in, Jerzy introduces himself and every one of the guys in the room. After I complete my intake paperwork, he introduces me like this, “This is our new patient, Aurora.”

Insert a chorus of hi’s and welcome’s.

One guy, Jim, straight up asked me if I sure I was in the right place.

I heard all kinds of fun jokes, told some myself, and, I think, may have made some cool connections that I’ll get to build on over the next 6 months or so. The most important one being JERZY.

First

Jerzy takes me to that smaller work room in the rear. As he stretches my legs A LOT (I’m so glad I shaved them Monday night) I ask him how he got into providing this type of therapy. He’s all, patients needed it and there wasn’t anything. So I invented it.

SO I INVENTED IT.

Like it’s no big thing.

He’s like the Elon Musk of physical therapy. I saw a empty niche so I filled it.

Second

Jerzy moves me to the big entry room. Here I did the most unexpected stretching I have ever experienced. I sat on a stationary chair, Jerzy sat on a rolling chair in front of me, facing me. He grabbed my hands in his and rolled backward, telling me to sink down as far as I could so my back was flat. THEN he had his aide, Wes, come push on my back to make me go further into the stretch. I saw Jerzy and Mike do this same stretch with Jeff and Jack next to me. Essentially it ends up looking like a strange seated dance where aide Mike ends up laying his upper torso on the stretcher’s back in the stationary chair and Jerzy pulls the stretcher forward and down to the proverbial dance floor.

I bought myself a ring to wear over my Joshua tattoo on my wedding ring finger and Jerzy’s hand squeezing began to hurt so I took it off and dropped it in my purse. This tiny detail comes back later, I promise. Jeff asks me if I’m married. I explain that I was, but that he was a useless ass who tried to kill me so I divorced him. Which starts a conversation about useless partners and how much work women are. Yes, I was a constructive part of this conversation.

After the dance stretch Jerzy moved me to back stretching equipment where I did a stretch both forward and backward. I lost count of the reps that he told me to do, though. So I just kept it pushing! Eventually Jeff pipes up and asks me how many I’ve done. I announce, honestly, I’ve lost count! So Mike comes over and releases me from the safety straps and exercise bars.

After I get up, Jeff reminds me, “Don’t forget to put your ring back on.”

Of course these leads another patient who has just walked in, Kit, to ask me, “Is that your wedding ring?”

Me, “No, I bought this for myself to hide what’s beneath it. I sold my wedding ring.”

Jim’s all, “He tried to kill her.”

Yeah, I think I’m part of the club now ^_^

Third and a DONUT

Jerzy says I’m free to go but when I hesitate, he says that I can use the quad lift machine and gives me reps instructions. Which I pay more attention to counting this time! I do the quad lifts and almost the entire time I’m drooling over the giant box of donuts like two feet from my arm. So OF COURSE I grab one before I get my purse and sweater. As I finish my donut I tell Jerzy these perpetually stocked donuts are gonna kill me! He claims to have a 6 foot fly swatter he uses to swat people’s hands when they eat too many. But he never defined too many.

Dun dun DUUUUUNNNN.

I’m excited to go back next Wednesday, when Jerzy says he’ll video tape my gait so we can compare the tape to my gait in 6 months. So we can SEE the progress.

Which is an idea that I am all about!

Surviving Susac,

Aurora

[orangeeu]

A GUIDE TO TOO’S CHAN

Heya! Here’s my essay about why you should stAN TOO’S CHAN!

SO! I recently stanned TOO because of their legendary Rising Sun cover in Road to Kingdom and because of the man, the myth, the legend… CHO CHANHYUK! Yeah, if you watched the performance already you may know who I’m talking about, but in case you don’t or you just didn’t bother to instigate in some intense kpop boy stalking (but why wouldn’t you?), I’ve made a guide for y’all!!

//Ahem A GUIDE TO TOO’S CHAN / CHANHYUK!

(Oh, and btw, no, I didn’t just copy and paste this from kprofiles.com - I added some extra facts and actual, CONCRETE reasons as to why you should stan him!!!) 

‘KAY, ONTO THE GUIDE!!

[BASIC INFO aka boring (but important) stuff lol]

Stage name: Chan 

Birth Name: Cho Chan Hyuk

Position: Main Dancer, Rapper, Producer

Birthday: December 8th, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 180 cm (5’11”)

Blood Type: O

Nationality: Korean

Element: Fire

YAY! BORING STUFF OVER!! Now here’s some insight on some Chan only tingz~~ 

[FUN FACTS]

He ranked 2nd place on the survival show that TOO was formed from called, To Be World Klass (DESERVED)

He has an older sister

Introduces himself as being “all-rounded” WHICH IS TOTALLY TRUE! He can rap, dance AND produce!!! 

Motto: “Let’s move smartly”

He is a former SM Entertainment trainee

He dropped out of high school

HE HAS A TATTOO ON HIS LEFT FOREARM AND BACK!! It’s hard to see them but alas! I’ve found a Twitter thread exposing his rad tats!: https://twitter.com/CHANHYUCKlE/status/1264654817261125632 From what I can observe, the one on his forearm is of a whale and flowers, and the one on his back is of flowers?? (He even once said that he hopes to get another tattoo on his waist!! YES PLEASE SIR)

He is left-handed 

He and Chihoon are producers/rappers for the dance group CUROHAKO. They actually have a Youtube channel and Chan is in two of their videos!!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uhq2pJA6oQ  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgTT4bBGI78 

His favorite colour is black 

His favorite emoji is the fox emoji 

His favorite food is sushi

His favorite movie is called ‘About Time’

He can freaking guess pizza by its scent!! This was so cute tho, please watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHi8aNDTuc 

He ripped his pants during a stage but said he was fine with it as long as it’ll get his group views LMAO 

His dancer name is K!ZAROO (but I don’t know if he still goes by it)

His Myers-Briggs personality type is ENTJ (extoverted, intuitive, thinking, judging); natural leaders brimming with confidence and charisma. They’re determined when faced with challenges and thinks strategically in order to achieve their goals. You can read more about his MBTI here!: https://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality 

Part of the self-proclaimed, “sexies” sub-unit consisting of him and Chihoon

He was chosen as the most fashionable member in the group 

He used to have a lip piercing (I don’t know if it’s closed up by now or not)

He hates fluorescent lighting

AYE-- I wish I had more, but that’s all the facts I’ve found about him so far! I’ll update this in the future once TOO ages like fine wine..!

Here are scientific reasons as to why you should stan him!!

[WHY YOU SHOULD STAN]

IDOL TRAITS (why you should stan him as an IDOL):

1. DANCE

His dancing! He’s not the main dancer for nothing! His movements are smooth and natural yet aggressive and passionate..! His strongest point is free styling!  Whenever he free styles, you can tell that he’s simply vibing and embracing his element. It’s obvious that he really loves dancing and that he practices a lot.

People say that he’s similar to NCT’s Taeyong or that he’s “the next Taeyong” but I couldn’t disagree more.. Chan is his own individual with a distinct and unique dancing style. He’s NOT “the next Taeyong”, he’s Cho Chanhyuk! 

Sorry, I just get a bit annoyed when people say things like that.. Anywho, here are some videos of Chan being a dancing legend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLBYBAT1gGg 

https://youtu.be/TWiyBUBL3A0 

https://twitter.com/chanhyuckie/status/1265174013032034306

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZdxA2kewsg 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8Eg6AuiNxc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TIR0W0YPLc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QrJ3cCBuzA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GFU0f5xKPs 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CdHHqH51gg

https://twitter.com/i/status/1272322590854590465

WATCH THIS ONE ESPECIALLY!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnx8pmtUwWo                                     

2. RAP

Tough tone that’s got its own colour! Also really good at free styling his rap! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o72hX8R28fo 

Chan’s free verse and him bopping with Lil Pump and the bois.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-elXeK0qYf8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lEetiEqvDI

3. PRODUCE

HE.PRODUCES.HIS.OWN.DAMN.SONGS!! It’s actually very difficult to produce music as it takes a lot of patience, knowledge and creativity! Pretty sick beats with more rad raps! Here’s his soundcloud!

https://soundcloud.com/canigetyourchan

Hope he releases the rest of his works!

4. CHARISMA

A born performer! He never fails to give me goosebumps!! Chan is just mesmerizing when performing, he’s like a magnet.. It’s hard to lose sight of him on stage because he stands out so much! He’s an expert with facial expressions and consistently makes sure to fully immerse himself into the performance; it’s his expression of self which makes him shine so brightly on stage. 

PERSONAL TRAITS (why you should stan him as a PERSON:

1. PERFECTIONIST

A visionary and true tireless idealist. For most people, being a perfectionist isn’t an ideal trait, yet I still find myself respecting Chan for being one. He’s critical when it comes to creating the perfect performance and works really hard to achieve results which reaches his (high) standards. I think that’s pretty admirable - the fact that he puts his blood, sweat and tears to put on not only a good show, but one that exceeds standards for our sake, his own sake and the rest of TOO’s sake. 

2. PASSION

I think that the thing that I adore about him the most is his passion. As I mentioned before, he absolutely loves dancing. It’s refreshing to visibly see an idol enjoy themselves on stage. Chan doesn’t just perform, he lives. When he’s performing, he loses himself in the thing that he loves doing the most and relishes the moment like there’s no tomorrow.

3. DETERMINATION

Even if Chan isn’t the official leader of TOO, his leadership qualities are quite prominent. He’s determined to reach his goals and get through challenges no matter what. Taking initiative, he leads the group in dance and assists others when they are struggling. This can be seen by observing World Klass clips of the boys practicing All You Need Is Love - when Chan noticed that Chihoon was having difficulty with the choreography he called him over and helped him with it. Another example is when they ranked last place in Road to Kingdom and Chan, motivated to do better and prove TOO’s capability of rising up the ranks, thoughtfully assisted in planning their performance and concept and rigorously practiced while leading the others. 

4. CREATIVITY

Idea bank! As an artist myself, I marvel at Chan’s creativity. The concepts and choreographies that he comes up with are astounding and prove to have super effective results! He actually came up with the Rising Sun concept in TOO’s Road to King performance. Because they watched the sun set from the rooftop, Chan was inspired to make their concept about them being rookies and rising in the music industry like the sun!! Say it with me: Chan swollen brain, Chan inflamed brain, chAN GINORMOUS BRAIN!!! 

Overall, Chan, despite his appearance of being intimidating, is actually a real sweet guy that smiles and laughs easily. He’s a soft boi (especially for Chihoon) and likes to initiate skin ship. Members actually stated that Chan likes to act cute and even refers to himself as ‘Chanhyukie’!! So please don’t be fooled by his cool guy demeanor, he’s a squish if you take a closer look..! 

Wow, that was a LOT of writing! That aside, here are some random Chan stuff!

[ MISCELLANEOUS] 

Predebut Chan pics: https://twitter.com/c12c8h__177o/status/1265420652011417601

PREDEBUT CHAN IN BOY STORY ASDFGK (if you squint you can find him in the crowd starting from around 2:48. He’s the one with the yellow hair and sunglasses): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klg8niUUjRQ

Cute clip from World Klass of Chan being all cuddly and cute with Kyungho!: https://twitter.com/i/status/1265176511146934273

Absolutely no context: https://twitter.com/CHANPlCS/status/1264522391008481280

E-BOY CHAN: https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6824848435217304837 https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6819342086857313542  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6817551314097016069  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6788981280240454918  https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6784186996119145733          https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6769724996559310086              https://www.tiktok.com/@too_offcl/video/6767461954127744262              

Saranghae saranghae saranghae Chan dance tutorial uwu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F4kQoaMljI

Chan humoring some fans: https://twitter.com/i/status/1249025324689453056 (scroll down below the first Tweet)

Chan English king: https://twitter.com/i/status/1251600155578494976

A cutie: https://twitter.com/i/status/1248594397056217088

Chan recommended this song! It’s pretty good so give it a listen!: https://open.spotify.com/track/7iooxPmnLY6wZynSplHUah?si=fBa5ppR0Qd-klOLa9tvnbA 

O-kay! I think that’s all the Chan content I have for now! Once again, I’ll update  this occasionally while on my journey with TOO! Don’t forget to stan Chan and TOO! Hope this has convinced you!! If it did, then please reblog this to spread exposure for Chan and TOO!

Before you go, please go watch their debut song Magnolia, thank you! Have a great day! 

(P.S., IF YOU FEEL LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING I SHOULD ADD OR CHANGE THEN DON’T HESITATE TO NOTIFY ME, THANKS!) 💖💖💖

[purplesurveys]

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

[yasminsqueendom]

Antique the Vamp Geek Pt 1 Ep2

CWs: Violence, death, blood consumption (again obvs), gov’t being assholes

A/N: More fucked up shit happening in the world. I promise it gets better. Please don’t just me harshly.

W/C: 1101 (another shortie)

Hey guys. It's Tique again bringing my fellow baby vamps updates on our….situation?...as I get them. So here's the news: by official federal gov't proclamation private institutions and corporations are now allowed to screen their members/students/employees etc. for the sanguinilis virus (aka vampirism). Related articles can be found on the station’s website.

What does this mean exactly?

Well, it isn't clear yet. Screening people for a medical status to determine employment or acceptance into an institution has, until now, been very much illegal. 

One thing can be certain….it isn't just people with vampirism that are gonna get hurt by this. There are a lot of folks with medical conditions that, if disclosed, might face difficulties with seeking employment or even receiving benefits. 

Let me give y’all some background. How did we get to this point?

So, as I’m sure many of you know, about 2 and a half years ago there was this video floating around of a homeless person being harassed by a group of asshole high schoolers. It was broad daylight and the man was wrapped  head to toe in worn out dark clothes. They ripped his clothing and saw that his skin was burning underneath. He tried to run, but the kids chased him down. They continued to rip his clothing and laughed while he cried from the pain of his flesh burning in the sunlight. 

Up to this point, this video is just a sick video of some fucked up bullies doing things that people have been doing since the beginning of time. Badass kids and helpless people are neither new, or particularly shocking. What happens next is what kicked off a bunch of shit that never had to be….

This old man, he got pissed. He popped off and bit those kids. Knick-knack patty wack, social media sucks. Now all of y’all know what’s up!

Excuse my morbid humor.

Anyways, he didn’t kill them…..intentionally. One of them managed to dial 911, but all the operator heard was the screaming. Yeah, that video haunted people’s nightmares for a long time. The kids were taken away in an ambulance, but the homeless man was gone by the time help arrived. All the kids were dead within 48 hours of being bitten. 

Now, this may seem like random info, especially since the assumption was made that the cause of death was severe infection of their wounds. In another decade, this incident would have made local news, or maybe even a nightly news mention. INSERT THE AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA! 

Suddenly, everyone everywhere can see this incident. And people started talking. Particularly, baby vamps. There was this outcry of help among the newly infected, who had experienced similar acts of violence, but survived. They needed to talk to someone, anyone, about what had happened to them. Groups and forums were formed online. And then, someone decided to prey on that need. 

With the rise of “vamp” culture on social media platforms, there was an equally overwhelming uptick of religious push back. There were groups whose entire purpose was to condemn “vamp culture.” 

Then, there was the blacklight party a year or so later where it was planned that the club lights would go out and UV lights would turn on at midnight to bring in the new year. None of the guests had been notified, and it wasn't on the event page either. Three vamps began to burn under the lights. Several people were recording for their social media, and that sparked a whole new wave of outrage. Two of the vamps were beaten to death and left unattended for hours until the party was over and police arrived. The other managed to escape.

People still weren't totally convinced by this either. However, again, in the age of social media things come around repeatedly. It's almost impossible to forget an event with yearly reminders of all the places you've been and all the things you've seen. 

Lastly, the event that put the icing on the muthafuckin cake. A video surfaces of a man and a passed out drunk girl. Now, everyone assumes that he is going to assault her sexually. But what he does next is just as bad, as far as I'm concerned. He flashes his fangs and bites her on the wrist. She squirms a little, but otherwise doesn't react. He licks the open wound on her wrist, spitting on it and rubbing it in. Anyone who knows what it's like, is well aware of what he is doing. He is not starving,or he would have been actually sucking her blood. He just bit her to infect her. He's a fucking troll.

Naturally, the video goes viral, and everything is just fucked up. He leaves the unknown girl outside of a clinic. They pick her up and she immediately starts displaying similar symptoms to the boys from the year before. She survives, but she can't go outside when they release her the next day. Her blood tests are showing weird results and her wrist has already completely healed. 

Things only get more complicated from there. Words like “zombie” and “undead” floated around for a long time. The poor girl was taken away to a “medical” facility. Her family was never allowed to see her again. They are still in the process of suing for her sudden disappearance. The state they live in has been pussyfooting around with handling her case. I pray they get some closure in that situation. 

This whole thing is a shit storm. 

I'm so sorry fellow baby vamps. We came into the game at a bad time. 

I just think about people predisposed to certain hereditary conditions, or have family history of certain illnesses that may be overlooked because of a stupid blood test. Because of stupid people!

Im so fucking mad rn I can't see straight. And guess the fuck what? I'm thirsty af and my plug is not answering my calls and I'm scared because I've heard rumors about what happens when vamps go without blood for too long. And I'm so scared. I'm scared as hell so like if you know anybody that can help please share that info to help out other baby vamps. We really need that shit.

Umm

So I guess I could open the floor to my listeners..what do y'all think? What do you want to know. I'll try my best to answer. Send all your questions to the email listed on the station website. 

Ancestors bless y'all.

I just can't tonight.

Love Tique

[welcometothepenumbra]

JUNO STEEL AND THE PROMISED LAND (PART THREE)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra. Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

The junction lies just ahead, Traveler. If you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

Well, next stop? I suppose that is the question, isn’t it.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

Given the choice, dear Traveler, where would you go? Above stands a metropolis of corruption, below a promise of paradise. Above lies a place wracked by spasms of change and below, there is silence, and stillness. So if given the choice, dear Traveler, where would you go? Above to Hyperion City, or below, to the Free Dome. Our next stop:

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES. DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

Juno Steel and the Promised Land.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

JUNO (NARRATOR): Lightheaded and punch-drunk, with a gun in my back and some bad… ugh, bad, really, just terrible, awful breath on my neck…

PIRANHA: Why don’t you step a little faster, P.I.? Somethin’ gives me the impression we’re runnin’ out of time, see?

JUNO (NARRATOR): It’s honestly hard not to wonder how the hell I got here. And I don’t even mean in this stupid tunnel leading to the Free Dome, I mean… in general. It’s just a hell of a time to decide you’re too pissed to die. Right before you’re probably gonna, uh, die.

And I’ve got a lot of excuses, sure. My mother, my brother, all that junk that happened in the HCPD with Diamond and Captain Hijikata, but if I’m being honest with myself, I’ve always been this way. From minute one.

My name’s Juno Steel. I’m a private eye. And y’know, I got in my first fight when I was three years old. It was with my brother. Benzaiten Steel. Benten for short. Ben if you’re in trouble and you need to get away quick. I don’t remember what it was about, even – which is I guess how things go with old, pointless arguments like this – a-a toy, or somethin’. It was before Andromeda, so it was probably one of the Turbos. Anyway, I socked him right in the eye. He teared up an-and looked at me, at the face so like his and so different, and he… socked me right back in the same eye.

Ben would never start anything like that. He was too happy. But he’d defend himself if I got outta line. Plus things always had to be fair with him, equal, balanced. An eye for an eye, I guess.

Mom must’ve pulled us apart soon after. Even in her good days she wouldn’t have been close enough to stop it before it started, but… she would’ve cared.

MUSIC: STARTS.

I might not remember the fight very well… but I remember Mom pulling us apart. T-taking a few hits herself. I-I remember her shaking us, until we stopped fighting and started crying. And I remember her forcing us to look at one another, and, I remember her shouting. She sounded scared. I didn’t like that.

SARAH: Stop it. Damn it, I told you two to stop it!

Just knock it off, you little morons. You want to get flattened, you go lie down in the road; you don’t do it to each other.

Oh, God damn it, don’t cry, not now, don’t—

(SIGHS, DEEP BREATH) Okay, okay. Benten. Juno. You can’t do this. You can’t fight. People… they’re nasty. They’ll chew you up and spit you out, if you aren’t— Don’t. Cry. That’s just the truth. Live with it!

Listen. If you want to live out there, you need someone to live for. You need someone else, so that when you’re not tough enough, they can be; so that right when you want to give up, you remember you can’t. Because you’ve got someone better than you to worry about.

And that’s what you are to me. I love you, my little monsters.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Did she see what was on the horizon, even then? See what person she was going to become?

MUSIC: CHANGES.

I hope so. God damn it, I hope so, and I hope she hated every second of it.

But she might’ve been right. How would I know? I’ve been chewing through people to fight for my whole life: Ma, Ben, Diamond… Nureyev. You burn through that many people and it gets harder and harder to fight off the idea that maybe they aren’t the reason you keep running out of people to fight for. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s me.

Because it’s always been about me, hasn’t it? Every case, every good deed… they’ve just been so I’d feel better.

Just fighting for myself.

Maybe it’s me.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

PEREYRA: Hey, deep space cadet. I’m talking to you.

JUNO: Huh?

PEREYRA: Isn’t anyone paying attention? I’m holding the most important find of the last two hundred years in my hands, and she’s on her radio, you’re in la-la land, and your friend is just… staring at me.

STRONG: Pretty sure that counts as paying attention.

PEREYRA: Well, stop it.

STRONG: Then what do you—

PEREYRA: Not that it matters. With a Dome in my hands, I can’t be touched. Not by radiation, by the elements, by anything. (CHUCKLES) And I gotta tell you, pals, that’s a hell of a feeling. Just imagine me riding in like this when I win the election! A force of nature! Invincible! (LAUGHS)

MUSIC: ENDS.

JUNO: You’re awful confident, given that we haven’t even seen that Dome, uh, do anything yet.

PEREYRA: Oh, I’m not worried about that, buddy. It’s just like Marshall D’Arc said: you’ve got to have faith.

STRONG: Testing chamber two… “The Test of Faith.”

PEREYRA: Just like that. (CHUCKLES)

JUNO (NARRATOR): Let me tell you, my faith was tested long before we ever stepped through that stupid door.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.

How could it not be? I’d had a gun pointed at me for three days straight, my blood had just been sucked out and shot back in at record speed, and then, there was Pilot.

SOUND: LOW ELECTRIC HUM FADES IN.

I hated to admit it but there was something almost divine about them, holding that Dome. The sky projecting from that orb like they were shooting it from their hands; the bubble of plasma surrounding them; the strange light adding an unearthly, shifting sheen to their shiny lips, their contoured cheeks. Whether or not they were invincible, they definitely looked it.

The testing room was… less impressive. It looked like someone had left a football field and a chessboard alone with a bottle of liquor and waited for some mistakes to happen: a huge grid of tiles, so many it made my head hurt looking at the endless lines of them ahead.

SOUND: INTERCOM BLIP. STATIC.

MARSHALL (FROM SPEAKER): (CHEWING)

STRONG: Oh, goody. There he is again.

MARSHALL (FROM SPEAKER): Hi, hey. (SWALLOWS) It’s, uh, it’s Marshall. D’Arc? Who else would it be.

Whatever. Alright. So, where the hell are y’all? What was the last one…?

I said I’d give you what?! The Dome sample? Are you kidding, D’Arc?!

STRONG: Does this feel… really weird to anybody else?

JUNO: Yeah, but they all have.

PEREYRA: It’s a distraction. Part of the test. Obviously.

MARSHALL (FROM SPEAKER): Whatever. Whatever! You’ve got it now, I guess, so, uhhh… Test of Faith. Something to do with the Dome sample? Uh, let’s see, let’s see, let’s see… Recording’s ticking down, audio files you can’t write over… Jesus, Ma, what a joke!

Alright, fine. Test of Faith. You’ve got to do whatever I say exactly, right? That’s how you prove you can be faithful. That you’re gonna listen when I tell you to do something. That you’re not just gonna run out, Malvin. So here’s what I want you to do: walk straight. That’s it! Easy, right? Just hold the Dome, and walk straight, no matter what. You hear me? No matter what. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen.

Uhh, Marshall out.

SOUND: STATIC ENDS. LOW ELECTRIC HUM CONTINUES.

PEREYRA: (CHUCKLES) Genius. It’s completely genius.

JUNO: It is?

PEREYRA: In order to demand faith, you have to create a lack of it. So far, D’Arc has been correct at every turn. If he just gave us direct orders, we’d have no reason to distrust him. So he makes himself sound unreliable. Genius.

STRONG: That… seems like kind of a leap, Mx. Pereyra. That’s really enough to get you to walk across there?

PEREYRA: If you want to be successful, only two things matter in this galaxy: luck, and who you know. I’ve got some of the former. And as for the latter… I have you. You’re coming with me.

JUNO: Oh, hell no. If you want one of us, Pilot, you take me. You might need her later.

STRONG: Juno…

PEREYRA: Need her for what? This is the last test. You’ve had your insides handled just as roughly as I have, P.I. You can barely stand up. I wouldn’t take you down the street.

JUNO: But—

STRONG: Stop it. I’m going.

JUNO: Alessandra—

STRONG: I’m the survival specialist. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Rely on me. Stop trying to do it all alone, and stick to where your edge is. My edge is out there. You do see yours. Don’t you?

PIRANHA: She means your eye.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I turned around and saw the Piranha staring at me, running the tip of her tongue on her thin, scarred lips. I hadn’t even thought she could hear us.

The thought of using the Theia… scared me, to be honest. With every update the Theia Spectrum could do more and more; make me see better and shoot faster and detect harder. Barely twenty minutes ago it had solved the Test of Charity for me – saved my life, probably. But it did that by walking up to my body’s steering wheel and shoving me out of the way.

I didn’t want to do that again. Not if I could help it.

STRONG: She’s right, Juno.

JUNO: But—

PEREYRA: Then there you go. Plan settled. He takes a comms, she takes a comms, and he gives her directions as we walk. Now let’s move.

STRONG: Juno…

JUNO: Yeah, yeah, I’m on it.

PIRANHA: That’s a good P.I. Just call ‘em up and let ‘em know if there’s anything they oughta look out for. And I’ll let you know if you’ve stepped outta line, see?

JUNO (NARRATOR): Pilot squeezed on the orb in their hand and the Dome disappeared for a moment.

SOUND: SHORT SUCTION NOISE.

Alessandra stepped close to them, they squeezed again, and both of them were swallowed by that glowing bubble of light.

SOUND: POP.

PEREYRA: Remember. Perfectly straight.

STRONG: You said it two seconds ago. I’ve got it, thanks.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): They took a few tentative steps out. The tiles next to them flipped over, and we got a good look at what lay underneath the floor. I could’ve seen it before they stepped on it but, uh… I… didn’t?

SOUND: BZZT.

THEIA: Error: cannot access scanning protocol without user permissions.

SOUND: DRILL WHIRR. COMMS BEEP.

JUNO: Strong, look out!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Whoa!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Stay still!

JUNO: Alessandra!

SOUND: EXPLOSION.

Alessandra! No, damn it, damn it…

STRONG (FROM COMMS): (AFTER A PAUSE) Holy… what?!

PIRANHA: Not bad.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The dust settled, and… they were still there.

The floor was torn open, and there were scorch marks as high up as the ceiling, but the Dome was still standing – with Pilot and Strong inside it. Untouched.

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): See? You’ve just got to have a little faith. (CHUCKLES) Now keep walking.

SOUND: LASER BLAST.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Steel?

SOUND: LASER BLAST.

Do you see anything?

SOUND: SEVERAL LOUD BANGS.

JUNO: Uh, you mean besides the ten tons of munitions firing off every second?

SOUND: LASER BLAST.

Nope, but pretty much looks like your Dome’s got that handled!

SOUND: SONAR SCREECH. GUNSHOTS. LASER BLAST.

PIRANHA: They might be good now, P.I., but ain’t you risking a lot, not even bothering with a scan?

SOUND: EXPLOSION.

JUNO: Okay, knock it off.

PIRANHA: (CHUCKLES)

JUNO: How’d you know that? Why do you keep bugging me about my eye?

SOUND: MACHINE GUN FIRE. SEVERAL LOUD BANGS. GUNSHOTS.

PIRANHA: Wowee, you’re paranoid, ain’tcha? That underground radiation seeping through your skull already? Makin’ you go a little bonkers, huh? Be careful, or you might start seein’ things, like dragons that ain’t real? Fire that ain’t there?

JUNO: The hell did you just—!

SOUND: SONAR SCREECH, ENGINE POWERING UP.

Hang on.

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

Alessandra! Did you see that flickering?

SOUND: JETS WHOOSHING.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): The what?

SOUND: EXPLOSION.

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Keep moving forward. No matter what.

SOUND: JETS WHOOSHING.

JUNO: There’s no way that’s good.

PIRANHA: No, P.I. No, I don’t think it is.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Mx. Pereyra… it looks like there’s something wrong with the—

SOUND: EXPLOSION.

Whoa!

PIRANHA: Ooh boy, and that one almost takes her head! So close!

SOUND: JETS WHOOSHING, EXPLOSIONS.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Mx. Pereyra…

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): An illusion. Keep walking. Have fai—

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

(PAINED HISS)

PIRANHA: Right in the thigh! Smell that sizzle!

SOUND: JACKHAMMERING. DISTANT BOOMS.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Pilot, the Dome’s not looking so hot!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Because I looked away to talk to you.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): These are a lot of becauses stretched about as far as they’ll go, and it’s getting harder and harder to buy them.

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): That’s why it’s a test.

SOUND: ALL SOUNDS STOP EXCEPT LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

See? And just like that. Rewarded for our efforts.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): I’m… not sure about that. The intercom – there’s no recording from D’Arc yet.

SOUND: DISTANT BOOM.

STRONG & PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Ah!

PIRANHA: Oooh!

JUNO: The hell is that? It’s coming up from the floor!

SOUND: DIRT SHIFTING, RUMBLING.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): You don’t know?! Aren’t you supposed to be scanning for it?

JUNO: Uh… yeah. I-I mean– the hell is that! Tha-that’s what it is, it’s a hell, by which I mean, y—

SOUND: THUNK.

Oh, it’s just a chain link fence. That’s not so bad.

SOUND: LASERS BUZZING.

Until it turns its lasers on! Then it’s– wow, yeah, tha– yeah, wow, really that’s, ah—

SOUND: SHORT SUCTION NOISE. ELECTRIC HUM STOPS.

A-also your Dome is gone!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Really? What setting do you have that eye on, Steel? “Obvious threats?”

THEIA: Would you like me to engage sensors for. Obvious threats?

SOUND: MOTOR WHIRR. RUMBLING.

A free trial sample: the laser-wall. Is now moving. Towards the two targets.

JUNO: Alessandra! The laser wall is moving towards—

STRONG (FROM COMMS): I swear to God, Steel, if you finish that sentence I’m gonna beat you over the head with that stupid eye!

SOUND: LASERS BUZZING.

JUNO: What else do you want me to do?

STRONG (FROM COMMS): How about you stop throwing me scraps and tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do, here!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Keep walking, P.I. You gotta visualize. You gotta believe.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Steel!

JUNO (NARRATOR): I didn’t know what to do. I could still remember the feeling of the Theia grabbing hold of my muscles and not letting go.

THEIA: Would you like to perform. An electronic scan. For incendiaries, explosives, biochemicals. And other traps?

JUNO: Shut up.

THEIA: Command not recognized.

JUNO: I said shut up!

PIRANHA: How come you don’t shut up? Some of us are trying to enjoy the show.

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Steel! A little help out here! The lasers are getting closer!

THEIA: My assistance cannot be activated without user permissions.

JUNO: Good, that’s definitely how it should be.

THEIA: Assessment: the room is heavily booby-trapped. Projection: if you do not perform a scan. They will die.

JUNO: I didn’t ask.

THEIA: They will die. And it will be. Your fault. And we will never. Let you. Forget it.

JUNO: What the hell?

SOUND: COMMS BEEP.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Juno!

JUNO (NARRATOR): I looked up. The laser wall was accelerating. It would be on top of them in seconds. Even when Juno Steel gets his mess together he still leaves a trail of bodies behind him, I thought. Even with two lives on the line he’s still just fighting for himself.

I said it without thinking.

JUNO: Theia, activate scan.

SOUND: ELECTRIC WHIR.

THEIA: Scan complete.

JUNO: Alessandra, there’s an open tile two to your left! Go!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Got it!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Hey, let go of me, you…

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Come on, Pilot!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): No!

SOUND: FLAMES WHOOSHING. LASERS STOP.

PIRANHA: (CACKLES) Y’know, this might’ve been worth the three days sealed up with you idiots!

JUNO: You’re not going to be safe there for long. Go two tiles forward, one tile left.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): There are laser turrets—

JUNO: Just trust me, okay? Quickly!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): You’re gonna get us killed! We just had to keep walking! We just had to have—

SOUND: QUICK GEARS SPINNING.

(YELPS)

STRONG (FROM COMMS): And… one to the left. Juno, those turrets still look—

JUNO: Swinging crusher plate on your six! Just duck!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Whoa!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): (YELPS)

SOUND: BIG CRASH.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Destroyed! Okay, those turrets look completely demolished. So, that’s good.

JUNO: Don’t get too comfortable.

THEIA: Caution: high-impact plasma cannons detected. Active in fifteen seconds.

JUNO: You’ve got just over ten seconds to jump the three tiles in front of you, make a break for the other side of the room, and duck on the last tile! It’s a straight shot!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Jump? I can’t jump wearing these. Do you know how expensive these shoes are?

STRONG (FROM COMMS): How the hell did you survive politics, Pilot? Hell, how did you survive middle school?

THEIA: Cannons preparing to fire.

JUNO: Now, Alessandra!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Just jump it, already! (GRUNTS)

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): (YELPS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): It was a big push, and a big jump. Almost enough to make it the three feet Pilot needed to.

SOUND: SEVERAL BLASTER SHOTS. POWERING DOWN.

Almost.

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Oof!

SOUND: EXPLOSION.

(PANTS)

SOUND: DRILL WHIR.

(GASPS) My heel!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Are you really still whining about your stupid shoes?

PIRANHA: They don’t mean that heel, see? They mean somethin’ a little closer to home!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): (PANTING) It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Oh… oh… wow, yeah, that’s pretty bad.

JUNO: There’s no time, Alessandra! The cannons! Run!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Run?! How am I supposed to—

STRONG (FROM COMMS): It’s either run or die, Mayor Pereyra, and I’m only letting you do one of those. Now lean on my shoulder and let’s move!

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Ah!

SOUND: SEVERAL BLASTER SHOTS. POWERING DOWN.

PIRANHA: So close! Just a little slower and maybe we’ll get to see a real show! (CACKLES)

SOUND: SEVERAL BLASTER SHOTS. POWERING DOWN.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): We’re almost there! Duck the last tile, right?

JUNO: You got it.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Under what?

JUNO: Honestly, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Steel—!

JUNO: Now!

STRONG & PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Oof!

SOUND: BIG BLAST, SONAR SCREECH. SHORT SUCTION NOISE.

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): (PAINED GASPS)

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Yeah, you know what? That’s… that’s the one time I’m gonna agree with you that it’s better I didn’t know.

JUNO: See? I know what I’m talkin’ about. Sometimes.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Thanks—

JUNO: Not often, so I want to take credit when I do, obviously.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Thanks, Steel.

PIRANHA: You two wanna stop kissing over the damn comms and deactivate this deathtrap? If I’m not gonna get any fun out of this I’d at least like to keep moving, see?

PEREYRA (FROM COMMS): Agreed. Deactivate this, and then deal with my foot. Now.

STRONG (FROM COMMS): Fine.

PIRANHA: Let’s get moving while the intercom blabs. Nice job, P.I.

JUNO: Hmph.

SOUND: INTERCOM BLIP. STATIC.

MARSHALL (FROM SPEAKER): (CHEWING) Hey. You listened.

SOUND: MACHINE POWERING DOWN.

Nice work. If you’re alive. Which… you probably aren’t. Because you probably didn’t listen. Nobody does. Why would you? Why would anybody? (LAUGHS) Talking to a bunch of dead bodies. This is a new low, Marsh. A new low. Unless… I mean… hey, it’s possible. You could be there. And if you are… (CHUCKLES) It worked. I got the best. (LAUGHS) Erin, you old idiot. I knew it would work. I knew it! It’s gonna be amazing, and we’re gonna keep it that way because we only let in the ones who deserve it! You can’t make everyone happy, Ma! That’s why you could never make anyone anything! (LAUGHS) Alright, winner’s circle! Come on through! We’ll make this last test an easy one, then… home. Welcome to the Free Dome. Marshall… out!

SOUND: INTERCOM BLIP. STATIC ENDS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And somehow, I knew then that was the last time we were going to hear from Marshall D’Arc.

I was less sure than ever of what we’d find, where the Free Dome was supposed to be. I was less sure than ever that I cared. I was just tired. Tired of the victims. Tired of people getting duped, then dead. I just wanted it to be over. I just wanted it to be over.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

STRONG: Thanks. Hold their leg up. They’re bleeding too much for me to clean out the wound.

JUNO: Got it.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS STOP.

PEREYRA: (PANTING) This… this is all your fault.

JUNO: How the hell do you figure? She’s the only reason you aren’t dead, you—

STRONG: Just let them babble, Juno. Missing that much blood I’d be surprised if they can even hear you.

PEREYRA: The Dome would’ve protected us… D’Arc said the Dome would protect us…

JUNO: Your stupid Dome didn’t work, Pilot. It fell apart on you. It’s broken.

PEREYRA: Didn’t work? You mean this?

SOUND: POP. LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

JUNO: What the hell?

STRONG: It’s on again! But then… why did it shut down on us?

PEREYRA: Because we were supposed to just listen. And you had to ask questions.

SOUND: SHORT SUCTION NOISE. HUM STOPS.

And I should shoot you for that right here and now.

SOUND: GUN COCKING.

JUNO: Damn it, you’re kidding me. You didn’t take their gun?

STRONG: I saw them drop it—

Damn it, that’s my gun. They took my gun three days ago.

PEREYRA: You’re damn right I did. Now keep bandaging.

Too dizzy to hear you, huh? Counting Pilot Pereyra out. You and everyone else. Always. But you know what? I got faith.

STRONG: Hey, uh, you want to help us handle your boss over here?

PIRANHA: Sorry, Big-Eyes, but I’m a little busy—

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

Whoa!

PEREYRA: Shut up. I’m trying to talk. She doesn’t work for me. Maybe she did, but after this? No. Hell no.

PIRANHA: You tryin’ to skip out on the bill, Pereyra?

PEREYRA: Oh, the bill. I’ll pay your stupid bill just to get you away from me. You’ve got nothing but what you’ve got right now, this second, and that’s barely anything, pal. I got the whole future! (LAUGHS) That was always the secret to my success, y’know. Numbskulls like O’Flaherty promise they’ll bring the future to you, but me… I always knew I’d only ever be able to get it for myself. Just watch me! One month and I’ll be out of that public dump of a city, and I’ll have the whole future! Whatever future I want!

JUNO: Wait, hang on—

PIRANHA: Shut them up.

JUNO: Not in Hyperion City? But if you’re just gonna leave—

PIRANHA: Shut up.

STRONG: Why would you be starting a whole real-estate operation now?

PEREYRA: I run way too many deals to know what the hell you’re talking—

PIRANHA: I said shut up!

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

I’ve had a long couple’a days. Hell, I’ve had a long couple’a months. I’m ready to get paid and go home, and we gotta get back and move on with our lives before the vice-mayor declares you dead. So let’s. Go.

PEREYRA: Good idea. I’m not done using you two yet. But as soon as we get to the Free Dome… pew! (LAUGHS)

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And so we kept walking.

The final room was big enough for another test, but there wasn’t anything there. Not even a real message from Marshall. Just this:

SOUND: INTERCOM BLIP. STATIC.

MARSHALL (FROM SPEAKER): Placeholder audio… test, test… testing rewriteable audio– oh God dammit, not again—

SOUND: INTERCOM BLIP. STATIC ENDS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And that was the last we heard from him.

Then we made it outside to the underground again – the dirt and stone, the irradiated, half-melted light fixtures. The tunnel sloped upwards, and in the distance, if I squinted, I thought I could see…

PEREYRA: A door. We’re here. Go. Go, quickly. Now.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So we kept walking.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BUZZES & BLIPS.

PEREYRA: You see? This is our grand welcome.

VOICE 1 (FROM SPEAKER): Please… please, go away. Go home! This is your last chance!

STRONG: It’s that voice again. From the very beginning.

VOICE 1 (FROM SPEAKER): I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to get in the audio but Grandma’s system was too complex, and-and Dad… it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing here. Please! I’ve been trying to tell you, there’s nothing here!

This is the only message she left rewriteable. Probably so the Domers could keep subbing out the welcome message, over and over again, forever. You’ve got to know that, about Erin Marshall D’Arc: she wasn’t a bad person. She wanted this to last forever.

Dad was a good guy, too. I-I… well, I mean… well, no, he wasn’t. But-but if you heard this every day and you saw what he saw…

SOUND: ELECTRONIC JINGLE.

Just, please, don’t listen to her! Go back!

ERIN (FROM SPEAKER): My new neighbors. Congratulations. After such a long, long journey, you’ve finally made it home.

PEREYRA: We’re almost there. Keep going!

ERIN (FROM SPEAKER): In the Free Dome, we believe in one thing above all else: that if you’re going to believe in anything, you have to believe in people. They’ve made mistakes in the past. They set up planets, and cities, and a galaxy that can’t be fixed, and that is a shame. But people, young and old, all have one thing in common: the present.

And you have to believe that, given a chance? People will use today to make a better tomorrow. If you give them a fair chance, an honest chance, people will make a home worth living in. You have to believe that. I believe that.

So open the door, neighbors. And welcome home.

SOUND: STATIC ENDS. GUN COCKING.

PEREYRA: You heard Ms. D’Arc. Open it. And the second you get a look at paradise… you die.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I felt Pilot’s pistol pressed against the back of my head. I felt Alessandra hold her breath beside me.

PEREYRA: Open it.

JUNO: Hey, uh, come on, now, don’t we get any last words or anything?

STRONG: I’ve got some.

PEREYRA: Make them quick, then.

STRONG: Juno, when I saw you before we went down into the stupid subway, I thought you were exactly the same mess of a P.I. I met months ago. And I was wrong. You were a bigger mess.

JUNO: Cool! Cool, good to know I get to end this whole life thing on an up note.

STRONG: And you know what? That felt like a real shame.

Because when we first met, you really swept me off my feet. Do you get what I mean?

JUNO: Yeah, I’m a real heartthrob or whatever. This is seriously how you want to go out?

STRONG: Steel!

PEREYRA: That’s enough. Open the door.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And I could only hope I understood what Strong was saying. So I reached forward, pressed a button…

SOUND: CLICK. FOUR BEEPS.

…and opened the door.

SOUND: HEAVY RUMBLING.

PEREYRA: Keep those eyes wide open, now. I want to hear what you think of it.

ERIN (FROM SPEAKER): You’ll see the road, first. Concrete, like old roads on Earth. Trees in the parks – trees out in the desert, can you believe it? And you’ll hear music, bells from the schools, and you’ll smell the fresh-baked breads, because here we have time for things other than weapons. Here we have time for music, for baking, for art, for life.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Finally, the doors were open enough to see a sliver of light. And then, when Pilot was distracted by whatever was on the other side of that door? That’s when I swept them off their feet.

SOUND: TWO THUDS.

PEREYRA: Oof!

JUNO: Got ‘em down. Alessandra!

STRONG: Got their gun! And if you move I shoot, got it?

PIRANHA: Uhhh, yeah, whatever. Just try to keep it down, see?

ERIN (FROM SPEAKER): And protecting you from above?

PEYRERA: No…

ERIN (FROM SPEAKER): My creation, the invention that makes our liberty possible… the Dome! The Free Dome!

PEREYRA: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no!

JUNO: That’s right, Pilot. The game’s up.

PEREYRA: No, no! Where is it? Where is it?!

JUNO (NARRATOR): I followed Pilot’s gaze, but I knew what I was going to see before I ever saw it.

ERIN (FROM SPEAKER): This is the Free Dome, neighbors. Now let us give you a great big welcome home! Three… two… one…

SOUND: CLANG. RUMBLING STOPS. WIND BLOWING.

STRONG: Come on, ma’am. Put the gun down. I don’t want to hurt you or your boss, here.

PIRANHA: Gimme a second.

JUNO: She said put the gun down, you—

PIRANHA: Yeah, hey, and you know what? I might. Just do me a favor and stay quiet a little longer, see? I’m tryin’ to catch the end of the big game.

JUNO (NARRATOR): You don’t take a shot in a standoff unless you have to, so we didn’t. I kept my gun aimed at the Piranha, she kept hers at Strong. A sandstorm was growing in the distance, red and writhing. As the wind began to howl, the intercom coughed to life one last time.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BUZZES & BLIPS.

VOICE 1 (FROM SPEAKER): God, I’m… I’m sorry, I’m so, so…

I promise, if there was ever a way to get this recording in earlier, I would’ve done it. I tried so hard to warn you, or to deactivate the pod or the tests, but… I just had to leave. You don’t know what it was like, you don’t know… what it was like…

I don’t know how it happened. The underground radiation, maybe, making them see things, or… maybe they just wanted to see it. I never met her, but Dad… Dad wasn’t good before the radiation either.

(SNORTS) You don’t care. Why would you care? It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.

(SIGHS) I wish they’d made it. I wish it was possible.

MUSIC: STARTS.

Erin. I think she really thought… well even if she couldn’t do it… maybe Dad could. She believed in him so much. And, when he realized he couldn’t make it work, he– he just…

(SIGHS) It was bad. He was… bad.

(SNIFFS) This is the only spot where I could find a foothold in Erin’s security protocols. The only spot she wanted rewriteable, so we could keep welcoming people forever, so. I’m gonna rewrite it.

To make sure this never happens to anyone else I’ve added a protocol here to shut everything down. The tests, the messages, the Dome sample, everything. This big door is going to close automatically in two minutes and this whole place is gonna shut down, and go away, and it, and its stupid promise, can never hurt anyone again.

I hope nobody ever hears this. If I could have anything… it’d be that.

But, if you are… please, go home. Please. Because… home’s not here. And it never was.

MUSIC: ENDS.

PEREYRA: No… that can’t be real. It can’t be!

That’s it. It can’t be real. A test. Marshall said there would be three tests, and this, this is- this is just the third test, isn’t it? The Dome is still out there. It has to be out there!

STRONG: Mx. Pereyra…

JUNO: Ugh, look, Piranha-face, are you gonna give up or what?

PIRANHA: Shh! Hold on, hold on! Aaaaand… that’s the score.

Alright, yep, I give in. Let’s go back now.

PEREYRA: You what?

PIRANHA: You want them to shoot you? Yeah, wowee, gosh darn, we sure did lose this one really bad, see? Sounds like it’s time to go home.

PEREYRA: A test… it’s just a…

Fine. I’ll come… quietly.

JUNO: You sure?

PEREYRA: Absolutely. Just let me up. I can barely breathe.

STRONG: I’ll make sure she doesn’t do anything tricky. Go for it, Steel.

JUNO: Alright, Pilot, lift up your arms so I can check your po—

SOUND: PUNCH. RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

Oof!

STRONG: Steel!

PIRANHA: You idiot, you’re letting them get away! Didn’t’ja hear? That door’s gonna close in two minutes!

JUNO: I didn’t know they had it in ‘em… they looked like they could barely stand up.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

Pilot, get back here!

PEREYRA: (DISTANT) I’m so close! I know it!

PIRANHA: (BECOMING DISTANT) You get back here, you idiot! Didn’t you hear D’Arc? If this thing seals with you outside it, you’re stuck in the desert! And with that sandstorm brewing, nobody’s gonna be able to find you until you’re half past dead!

STRONG: (DISTANT) Stop trying to stall. Drop your gun, gangster.

JUNO: Pilot, stop!

PIRANHA: (DISTANT) Oh, for God’s sake, that’s enough!

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

STRONG: (DISTANT) Ah!

JUNO: Alessandra!

JUNO (NARRATOR): I was almost there. They were already injured. I would’ve grabbed their shoulder in two seconds.

Then… the laser shot.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT. GRUNT.

It came up behind me, winged past my ear… and hit Pilot right in the back.

They hit the sand like a sack of bones and rolled, slowly, to a stop.

PEREYRA: (PANTING)

STRONG: (DISTANT) Agh, my hand, my hand!

PIRANHA: (DISTANT) What are you crying about? That was just a stun blast, shouldn’t’ve done any more than tickled your fingers, see?

Wuh-oh. Looks like I forgot to… put it on stun.

You ever have one of those days where it just seems like you can’t catch a break, Big-Eyes?

JUNO (NARRATOR): I couldn’t understand anything I was seeing. Pilot, sobbing as they bled. The sandstorm growing in the distance. Behind me the Piranha’s gun was still smoking. Strong’s gun was across the room. It and her hand were sizzling.

STRONG: (DISTANT) How are you complaining about this? You shot off two of my fingers!

PIRANHA: (DISTANT) Oh, whatever. I’ll buy you new ones.

STRONG: (DISTANT) What?

PIRANHA: (DISTANT) Just stay put for two seconds, alright? And that goes double for you, P.I.! I better not see you move unless it’s towards me!

JUNO (NARRATOR): She stomped in my direction. Her gun wasn’t even raised. When Pilot grabbed the end of my pant leg I almost jumped out of my skin. They were sand-caked, already looked sunburned, eyes wild.

PEREYRA: Where is it, P.I.? I know it’s out here. Just tell me and I’ll give you anything you want, buddy, anything—

JUNO: Pilot…

PEREYRA: Don’t lie to me! I know it’s out here! I’ve been looking for this for too long, I know it… I believed!

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT. SILENCE.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Pilot Pereyra was still. Their red blood, pouring out onto the red sands of paradise.

They’d always had a fire in them, Pilot. They threw everything they could into it – time, and money, and people – all in the hopes that it would bring them here. To the Free Dome. So maybe it was fitting that when they found out there was nothing here they threw in the last thing they had: themselves.

PIRANHA: Holy hell, what a day.

Look, if anybody asks what happened to them, we leave this little stun-blaster mixup out of it, okay? One of the traps did it, or whatever.

JUNO: You… y-y-you killed them.

PIRANHA: Yeah, sure, this one’s on me. Fine.

JUNO: But, why?

Who are you?

PIRANHA: Eh, nobody special. I like it better that way.

SOUND: ALARM BEEPS.

Damn it! The door!

SOUND: HEAVY RUMBLING.

Hey, I’d really love to have a good long pow-wow about this underneath the blistering, radioactive sun, but we’re kinda outta time. So what d’you say you and me talk about this back in the tunnel?

JUNO (NARRATOR): She reached out to grab me, but those hands…

I thought I had it all figured out. Pilot, sabotaging Ramses, kicking people out of their homes… it felt like if I had one more piece, the whole puzzle would make sense. And out here, in the Free Dome, this was supposed to be where I found it.

I thought it would all be worth it. The Proctor, Swift, Pollock, even that stupid cat, I thought they’d all be worth it so long as I took down Pilot Pereyra. Now I had. And I still didn’t know a goddamn thing.

The Piranha’s claw came closer, but I couldn’t let her touch me.

SOUND: HAPPY THEIA BEEP.

THEIA: Command received. Amplifying reaction ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-time—

JUNO: What the—

SOUND: GLITCH.

THEIA: ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR (REPEATING IN BACKGROUND)

SOUND: ALARM.

JUNO: (PAINED YELL)

JUNO (NARRATOR): That pain again. It came from my eye but that wasn’t where I felt it: it grabbed me everywhere, spreading from my spine like a crack in ice, growing, growing, ready to shatter. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think.

SOUND: ALARM STOPS. RUMBLING CONTINUES.

PIRANHA: Now that’s more like it. Didn’t even have to pull the trigger.

JUNO (NARRATOR): She grabbed my elbow. And even if I couldn’t think, I still wouldn’t let her touch me. So I did what I’ve done in place of thinking since I was three years old.

JUNO: (GRUNTS)

SOUND: PUNCH.

PIRANHA: Oof!

My gun!

SOUND: THUD. GRUNTS, RUSTLING.

PIRANHA: Get offa me! We’re gonna roast out here, you moron!

JUNO: Tell me how you keep doing this.

PIRANHA: Doing what?

JUNO: My eye! Every time I try to get you, my—

SOUND: GLITCH.

(PAINED YELL)

JUNO (NARRATOR): Another bolt through my spine. The Piranha pushed me off her and gave me a kick in the ribs for good measure.

PIRANHA: Fine! Die with Pereyra if you want. I’m not letting some one-eyed idiot kill me!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING. HAPPY THEIA BEEP.

THEIA: The Theia Spectrum is now online.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I sat up. The door was almost closed. The Piranha was almost there. But, she wasn’t gonna make it. Through the crack still open, I saw Alessandra Strong. “Cockroach Strong,” they called her, because she couldn’t be killed – and she wasn’t about to be now.

It was the right choice. I wish I had the guts to make it.

STRONG: (DISTANT) Juno, you moron! Dying’s easy! You have to—

SOUND: CLANG. RUMBLING STOPS.

PIRANHA: (DISTANT) No! Hrnnn, no! No, God damn it, no!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The Piranha’s gun was in the sand just a few feet away. I started crawling.

PIRANHA: (DISTANT) You’re meat, P.I.! I’m gonna rip you to pieces, see?

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I shouldn’t have risked using the Theia again, but the first time we tangled, the Piranha had gotten away from me because I missed the shot. I wasn’t gonna miss this time. I wasn’t.

I braced myself for the pain. The good guys always win, I thought. The good guys always win.

THEIA: Command received. Activating aim assissssttttaaaannnnccccceeee—

SOUND: GLITCH.

ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR (REPEATING IN BACKGROUND)

SOUND: ALARM.

JUNO: (PAINED YELL)

SARAH: Little MONSTERS!

PIRANHA: You messed with the wrong hitman, P.I.! Without that eye you’re nothing, see? Nothing!

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT. ALARM STOPS.

Oh, give it up! Every goddamn shot you take is a bone I’m gonna break, I swear!

JUNO (NARRATOR): She was close, now. She looked about half a second away from ripping me in two, and I still couldn’t hit her. The pulses from my eye were grabbing my arm and pulling it here, pushing it there, and it was going to kill me.

This was it. My eye working together with my killer, and I’d never know why. I thought. Then I felt something. Rolling up my spine, into my skull, and then…

SOUND: HAPPY THEIA BEEP.

THEIA: The Theia Spectrum is now online.

Receiving. Logged request. Overriding. User muscular control. Firing in 3… 2… 1.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT. THUD.

PIRANHA: (HOWLS) Oh, God damn it, unghhh! God damn it! How did you… (PANTS) Your eye’s back on.

JUNO: Yeah, about that. I think you and I need to have a talk.

PIRANHA: But if your eye’s working, that means…

He turned on me. He really did it. I get him this far, and then he double-crosses me.

JUNO: Let’s start there, for example. Who the hell is “he?”

PIRANHA: (CHUCKLES) Fine. He wants to stick it to me? Why the hell not. I’ll stick it to him. Might as well get some fun out of this stupid job.

JUNO: I already asked you. Who is “he?”

PIRANHA: It was that mess with Babbling Brook that got you on his radar, you know. You got in his way. He needed a stooge. It was a match made in hell. And your job at the Fortezza, that was just the interview. That was a fun one. I’ve never had anybody pay me to hire another hitman. Or to call in a target like that.

JUNO: Just say his name.

PIRANHA: Polaris Park was next. He just wanted a little sabotage we could eventually tie back to Pilot, but when he heard how I did it he wasn’t too happy. Hypocrite. ‘Cause then you stomp in there and murder Swift yourself and he’s all “let me give you a hug” and “my poor, poor little lady.”

JUNO: No, no, God damn it, stop lying!

PIRANHA: After that he got squeamish, changed tacks, wanted to find some other way to make Pereyra look bad. So he thought: what’s the only thing so important to Pereyra that they’d leave their city on election day for it?

All this.

JUNO: You knew…?

PIRANHA: Our guy, he’s got corporate connections, see? Galactic. Easy for a guy like that to get a dumb treasure map. So he parked you on some roof for a month, then told me to keep Pilot busy until election day… playing treasure-hunter. And you got to pretend to be a big hero for three days, even though I was always there to protect you. Was it fun? Wanna get on the ride again, sweetheart?

JUNO: Say his name.

PIRANHA: We know who we’re talking about.

JUNO: Say it.

PIRANHA: How come you want it so bad, P.I.? Huh? Why don’t you say it and I’ll tell you if you’re right?

You can’t do it. Can you? Because you’re still hoping it’s not really him. You know it is, but you’re still hoping. Because you believe in him. That’s how he got you, you know. That’s how he gets everyone.

JUNO: Say his God damn name or I’ll shoot!

PIRANHA: So you know what my secret to success is, P.I.?

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

(GRUNTS) Oh, come on! Shoot me like you mean it! You can’t beat me like I beat you because I don’t believe in anybody but myself, see? I take the Free Dome away from Pilot and it kills them. I take the old man away from you and you’re broken. But me? I only believe in me. And you can never, ever take that from me.

JUNO: Say his name or I’ll kill you.

PIRANHA: You say it.

It’s too late. You’ve got nothing, now. And I’ve still got the only one anybody can ever rely on, see? And I’d just like to see you take that away from me, P.I. (CHUCKLES) I’d like to see you try! (LAUGHING)

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT, LAUGHTER STOPS.

MUSIC: ENDS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): That earpiece – the one she’d been listening to ‘the big game’ on – fell out of her ear. I put it in mine.

ANNOUNCER (FROM RADIO): …it’s a landslide victory! One more time, folks, if you’re just tuning in with us now, Ramses O’Flaherty has taken the election in a complete upset! We’re tuning in now to O’Flaherty’s victory address, live from Hyperion Town Hall:

SOUND: CROWD CHEERS.

RAMSES O’FLAHERTY (FROM RADIO): Now, I know that saying “thank you” is the cliché at this particular moment, but… thank you.

SOUND: CROWD LAUGHS.

But, really. They say that helping yourself is sometimes the most difficult thing of all. Sometimes, when we seek to make the world a better place, we so fear being selfish that we refuse to act in our own self-interest; we bow and scrape to those who wish us ill and call it tolerance, respect, humility. But you, my fellow citizens, you chose to help yourselves. You chose a better future – and by God, you’re going to get it.

(LAUGHS) And to think. It was only a few days ago, as I spoke to a friend of mine, that he told me he felt that hope was pointless. Just a lot of flailing for nothing. And on that day I could not blame him.

Because on that day, our mayor was a psychotic. They acted only in the interest of what benefited them, and worse, they couldn’t even seem to decide what that was! Incontrovertible evidence has shown that they have attempted to take my life, that they have successfully taken the lives of others to win this election… and yet, come election day, where are they? They care enough to murder, but not enough to show up?

They cannot be trusted. The corrupt HCPD, who refused to protect me from the Proctor and who assisted Pilot Pereyra in their escape from the Museum of Colonized History, cannot be trusted. My young friend was right to doubt. But you, the great people of Hyperion City, you have chosen to doubt no longer.

SOUND: APPLAUSE.

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I was numb, top to bottom. I could hear his voice. See the hope in his sky-blue eyes. And even now, even now that I knew the truth, I believed in him. God damn it, I believed in him! Ramses O’Flaherty. The person I’d been chasing all this time, the connection between every eviction and theft and murder, was the man I was working for. And I’d helped him do it.

RAMSES (FROM RADIO): That young friend I spoke of? He is chasing after Pilot Pereyra now. It’s true. The killer who took your families, the monster who took your homes. In just a few days, the bravest young person in Hyperion City will return with them in tow. And though his acts will be heroic we cannot let him stand alone.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I looked at the huge gate of the Free Dome, at the big, broken promise of it. I looked at the slumped body of Pilot Pereyra. I looked at the Piranha, who I killed.

And then I looked at the desert. The growing storm. The lonely wastes.

It was quiet out there. No politicians. No people. No promises.

I took the Piranha’s radio out of my ear and dropped it.

SOUND: SOFT CLUNK.

RAMSES (FROM RADIO): (DISTANT) We need people like him. We need people who will not tolerate evil, will not tolerate corruption, will risk their own lives to stomp it out. We need people to build a new city, a better city, a city of the future!

JUNO (NARRATOR): For a second I could still see the radio, an ash-colored dot in the red, red sand. A desert wind blew by and a light dust began to cover it and I knew soon it would be buried. With Pilot, with the Piranha, gone, forever.

That didn’t sound so bad, I thought.

So I turned to the wide open Martian desert, those endless, swirling sands, and I started walking.

RAMSES (FROM RADIO): (DISTANT) It’s the sunrise of a new day, my friends, so grab your tools and join me! Together we build our new home! Together we will make the city of the future!

MUSIC: ENDS.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Joshua Ilon, Kat Buckingham and Simon Moody, and co-creator Sophie Kaner:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

JOSHUA: …gonna be alright, so, I expect it to happen eventually.

SOPHIE: In the end.

SIMON: They lied! (LAUGHS)

SOPHIE: Eventually. Not any time soon.

SIMON: Well, when we first read through the episode, like, I got fully, fully, like hoodwinked, to use a turn of phrase, um, by that– that twist at the end. Like, oh shooooot. Like, here he is, Mister Big Dreams, and here to do good, and like, no, don’t you do me like that, you’re gonna d– oh, there it is.

SOPHIE: He did.

SIMON: Yup. Yup. He did it.

SOPHIE: He did do you like that…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Vron, Charlie Spiegel, Minchowski, Jaimie Gunter, and the Princess and the Scrivener for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Promised Land, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Kat Buckingham as Alessandra Strong, Simon Moody as Mayor Pilot Pereyra, Sophie Kaner as the Piranha, Kiki Samko as Sarah Steel, and Matthew Zahnzinger as Ramses O’Flaherty.

This tale also featured: Lauren Shippen of The Bright Sessions as Erin Marshall D’Arc, Zach Valenti of Wolf 359 as Marshall Erin D’Arc, and Rich Wentworth of Hadron Gospel Hour as the last of the D’Arcs.

On staff at The Penumbra: Kevin Vibert is our lead writer and recording engineer. Sophie Kaner is our director and sound designer. Grahame Turner is our script editor. Noah Simes is our production manager. Alice Chung is our designer and financial manager. Kat Buckingham is our publicity director. Original music by Ryan Vibert. Promotional art by Mikaela Buckley.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: All Your Friends are Cursed

You know what? It’s been a while, lets revisit Zero.

For those new here, I’ve been also very slowly going through Season Zero alongside the show we are more familiar with, which is not at all the same as the other seasons. If you want to read just the recaps of Zero from the beginning you can do that by clicking on this link right here. I think I’ve only done like 3 or 4 so far.

OK. It’s been...a time since we ventured here to this very weird place, where were we?

So, first off you may have noticed there was a wee gap in updating, this is mostly because I burned up all my backlog when I got sick for two weeks (and I’m still hella tired) so...I’m playing catch up and this is a hobby, so it takes a back seat. But also, it’s partially because I was like suuuper conflicted with what I should do about that logo. Like, I did feel like I had to blur it just because I don’t want there to be confusion if the images ever get pulled away from this post, but I was seriously considering just repainting every cap because it sure bothered me a whole lot.

It was Illustrator OCD Problems that in the end don’t matter, but you can see my quandary of the right corner in the rest of these. Anyways, thanks Team Millennium for the fandubs so I don’t have to cap over subs. Y’all did a good job, and I get why they need to watermark since like...it’s Youtube so every random bot channel is stealing any other video getting clicks.

Also, this took a while because it’s like over 60 caps long. These Season Zero episodes are just...so much content. They’re so much. And I thought this one handles some interesting themes, so grab yourself a snack, because this is gonna be a little bit of a marathon. I could split it into two but like...I don’t know where to split it, so enjoy. This post is basically a 2 for 1.

Anyway, Shadi’s back. I didn’t really expect for him to be back so soon, but he’s here with a vengeance. He spooks up on Grandpa’s old Egyptologist friend (who’s name I have forgotten) and this guy kind of already knows what’s next.

In this episode, as you can see from the title, everyone is gonna get cursed. Except Miho, but like, I tend to forget she exists. We start off with Yuugi’s Grandfather’s friend getting tossed out a window, which is sort of strange because you figure that this guy wouldn’t let a girl drown down a well for a rare coin (which was the Shadi metric for if you deserve to be eaten by a chair). But apparently we were wrong and Grandpa’s friend has actually been a jackass this entire time.

"Your friend has actually been a jackass this entire time” is another underlying theme of this episode. What’s wild is that Yuugi and his Grandpa are not at all surprised by this revelation, nor do they seem to mind.

Shadi says something cryptic, decides he wants a rematch with the alter ego of Yuugi Muto, and then has the weirdest plan of how to do it. The rest of this recap is basically all of Shadi’s master plan and it’s...pretty...something.

(read more under the cut)

Since we haven’t gotten a Miho episode, I haven’t really gotten a chance to learn what she...is. Right now she just seems like a G rated Cheryl Tunt. Which is probably incorrect, I dunno maybe this girl will end up being their savior but for right now she just kind of uses Tristan for favors and enjoys spooky stuff maybe a little too much. I’m not sure she’s even aware what planet she’s on.

Shadi’s also looking more and more like a bird this episode with the artistic choice to join the brow to the nose with a deep shadow like this. If there’s deeper historical meaning to that, I have no idea. Went on a little deep dive through Google to see if it matches from art and sarcophagi from Egypt and Greece but like...nah. You do get a strong thin nose on golden sarcophagi that can give it a really cut look since it’s usually covered in reflective gold, so that could be it. But overall, joining the nose to brow is something more modern, I think. Just our own touch to make him a spook.

And honestly Yugioh really does enjoy putting a very heavy shadow between the eyebrows, but usually in the form of lots of lines and not a solid black shape.

Youknow we’ve never had the chance to enter anyone’s mind space before. I kind of assumed that no one other than Yuugi even had one. So Anzu’s mind, shouldn’t be too ba- oh

Just take this whole sequence, put some generic lo-fi on it, and you have yourself a youtube channel. It’s amazing how, since the 90′s anime style is back into fashion, this bizarre sequence just hit so many good notes. Those pink and blue flowers matched with a silver metallic tree with weird purple fruit? Not gonna lie, that’s some good inspo material. Maye not the weird bird and terrifying 90′s sun--I don’t know why he’s here--but everything else? Shoot.

This hasn’t come up before and the only guy with G in his name that I can think of is Gozoboro and he cannot be this guy. Maybe just a reference to some comic book stuff because he does have a Superman shape to that G, but I don’t know comics well enough to know if this was a manga Superman parody.

PS now that we know that Tea’s mind is just a lo-fi channel, we now know that Bakura and Marik have just been hanging out next to a weird silver fruit tree, staring at a horrifying green sun and avoiding eye contact with one single green bird for basically this entire Noah arc. Assuming of course that a piece of Bakura is still in there in Tea’s mind, which he may have decided to vacate at this point because what’s he supposed to do in there? Do barre?

Maybe they both just do barre workouts in the tea mindfort while a parrot awkwardly watches.

So Shadi has been just hanging out in Tea’s head for how long? Like half a day now?

She really has always been the ghost uber. From the very beginning. Wow.

Also, speaking of vaporwave, the pink to yellow tint on the irises? A+. That could be your lo-fi thumbnail, easy.

Anyway we are blessed with another tiny Yuugi this episode. I think I’ve mentioned it before but I’ll mention it again, I love it when artists have to draw their characters as small as ants because then the characters are given their rawest, purest form. Which in his case is just being very squat and having hair with spikes.

And then Anzu somehow hides in this closet and tips over a bunch of beams at him. Are these cross country beams? What are these? I did water polo and swim team so I just have no idea what you land people did.

When beams don’t work out, Shadi sets in play the next step of his super evil and sinister plan. Please remember that this guy is a 5000 year old very scary ghost with crazy OP powers.

So then Shadi starts his third phase. So far we’ve had a bunch of poles and a basketball, what will be next? Will Anzu come up with two chalkboard erasers and start pounding them together to make a sick chalk cloud? Will Anzu step on the back of Yuugi’s shoe so his foot falls out? Will Anzu unzip his backpack when he’s not looking so all his books fall out? What dick move will Anzu do?

SOOOOOO

This is a thing that canonically happened in Yugioh.

It’s like finding out that Big Bird once violently choked out Elmo in Season One but now they’re good and they don’t want to talk about it.

Like...this is a lot and it’s not even discussed in this very episode!

The one time.

The one time they should have just ditched.

This is the one time you should just find a boat/blimp, smuggle yourself on board, and then play cards for a straight week with an evil psychopath. The one time.

No wonder they go out of their way to avoid this school for the rest of this show. They ditch just to survive their 1st year of High School.

So they decided to split up which...they’ve made worse choices, and only Yugi finds Tea. What would Shadi’s plan have been if anyone else was up here first?

Reminder that in the second or third episode of Season 1, Joey and Yugi came up here to reminisce the good ol days. I had no idea at the time that the “good ol days” involved being dangled on the edge of whatever this weird contraption is called.

Eat your heart out Jeffree Star and Rituel de Fille, Shadi here did black highlighter first. In 1999. And that nose is snatched.

Appropriately, Honda is still embracing his janitorial duties. Maybe that’s why he’s not a janitor anymore? Because he was getting tooooo into being a janitor? Like if you go janitor while being a zombie that’s toooooo much janitorial.

Another thing Season Zero does that may either be a limitation of their budget or just a limitation of their experience is that, unlike most foreign films, the pacing of the cuts are really quick. Like REALLY frantic. (And yeah I’m generalizing a lot when I say that Western shows and movies have quicker cuts, but lets just say that it’s true about 90% of the time. Not better or worse, just different.)

And like, this was the 90′s, a time period I don’t really remember, but back then we were into bizarre editing. It was a very experimental time in film because suddenly there were a lot of computer and filming tools available for a decent price and people kind of lost their minds. They were getting into doing tons of dutch angles and tons of filters and it was just a real...interesting time in film. It’s gauche by our standards but like...art kind of lives in the time period it’s from and you shouldn’t pull it out and compare it to our current standards too much because--welcome to 90′s Xtreme cuts. Docking something for being too 90′s is like saying that medieval art sucks balls because they didn’t want to use perspective and all their cats look weird. This was the time.

It’s just interesting to me that they decided to attempt to copy this frantic editing style into a cartoon when it’s normally done splicing together live action shots that were done with three+ different cameras. They planned out each cut in a storyboard and drew every frame. It was a lot of work. And it didn’t age well, which is a shame.

And it could have been that because this is a horror show, they decided to experiment. It’s a pretty edge show based on a pretty intense manga. But, it’s...interesting. Can’t exactly cap it, you’ll have to watch it for itself but it’s...interesting. And overall, I honestly feel like I can’t come to any conclusions about the direction that Season Zero editing has taken since I’ve only seen four episodes, so these are just my five cents, don’t quote me on it. I may take back this opinion a few episodes from now.

Y’all this was never told to us until like Season 2. Season Zero told us this in like episode 4. Would have been really nice to have this information a little earlier.

So then we introduce the mummy mechanic of this “game.” Anzu’s plank contraption is tied to these baby mummies. Kind of looks like they’re chocolate mummies you get from the Egyptian museum store. In fact, They might actually be museum gift shop chocolate mummies that Shadi shoplifted up after he killed that fat guy.

Not sure how he set any of this up, especially when he totally botched it with the beams and the basketball and the strangling, but somehow, Shadi got this complicated knot system all ready to go. Weird how Marik was the one on the boat when Shadi has like a degree in knots.

So I said this in the last episode but we get this reoccurring theme in Season Zero where Yugioh is a little boy learning to grow up and be a man, and yet every guy he meets has just a pile of toxic misinformation about how to be a powerful adult. In Shadi’s case, he believes that weakness stems from caring about other people and relying on them for support, hallmarks of mortality. Which is easy for Shadi to say because he’s some 5000 yo undead (I think?) with no friends, unless you count Chair Barney. But Shadi’s pretty sure that attachment to living people will only ultimately hurt you, especially when they’re complete assholes, which most of Yuugi’s friends are. They’re good assholes, though.

It’s a pretty common anime trope and I’m surprised it took us this long to get to the power of friendship. Freakin finally. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes. It’s how stories are made.

Anyways, in case you thought this episode would not address the teachers, they actually did for about 3 seconds.

Neat that this is the most unsafe school in all of Japan.

I am a fan of the combo of blue, purple, green, and very large teeth. I will give Chair Barney that much. Anyway, lets see what game Shadi made.

Oh cool, it’s the game I made to go in my babysitting kit when I was like 11.

Granted, so were playing cards.

Wow everyone is just assaulting each other this episode, damn!

Back on the roof, Yugi calmly wins the game without ever flipping a tile.

Now for some reason I missed the part where he says “two feet” and so I was missing a pair of things and so I listened to this part again and either my sick brain missed it three times (cuz y’all I have had the plague and my recovery has been so sloooow) there were these shapes on the tiles that looked like kidneys and I thought--but it’s not two kidneys, right? and I was like what else is a pair and round and lobby shaped? and then I didn’t really want to go there, and assumed--FEET.

Knowing full well feet are not kidney shaped, but I’m gonna assume he said feet. If he actually said weird monster testicles, you’ll be sure let me know.

And then this happened and it’s pretty legit.

We have never actually addressed the fact that Yuugi forced his friends to like him. Like it’s a pretty effed up origin story that Jounouchi was like like “I feel like very strongly I should be his friend” but doesn’t really know it’s because he got cursed. Kinda figured the show would just breeze by it, but no, here we are, and Yuugi has to face the fact that maybe the only reason he’s not a loner anymore is because he won Jounouchi as a prize for finishing an accessory.

And whether or not Jounouchi would have been his friend no matter what isn’t really what’s being tested, it’s whether or not Yuugi believes that this friendship is actually real, or a curse. Like Jounouchi did try to defend Yuugi before Yuugi finished the puzzle, but does Yuugi know that? He was passing out at the time. It’s a real insecure spot for Yuugi since before Jounouchi he was just a little punching bag playing board games alone in the homeroom. Jounouchi was introduced as someone who was legitimately bullying Yuugi and tossing that puzzle out a window. There’s going to be the underlying fear that Jounouchi would go back.

In the S1 anime, they basically wrote that plot point out of the show or decided that because this was done in Season Zero they don’t need to retread on old territory. Joey, Tristan, and Tea aren’t cursed to be Yugi’s friends, as far as I know.

But this test between the friendship of Yugi and Joey is recreated again in S2 with Marik when they were both tied to an anchor and one had to choose to kill the other or live. But there’s some pretty major differences. This time, instead of Joey being possessed by Marik and being forced to kill his friend, he’s just Jounouchi sans curse.

Although Jounouchi is still somewhat mind controlled as he is just an illusion. He’s just...not as badly mind controlled as the whole Marik thing. This Jounouchi has more motor control and doesn’t seem to have any inner conflict at all. Because again, this isn’t so much Yuugi vs Jounouchi, this is Yuugi vs Yuugi’s fear of being alone again.

That’s a realllllly different takeaway. And honestly, it’s pretty interesting.

Also, instead of Tea with a shipping container over her head, this time Anzu is walking a plank. Really didn’t expect that Shadi would basically turn into Marik but without the cards. And without the underground bunker lifestyle where he kills his own Dad.

The game is kind of hard to show in caps but they have to drop the puzzle in the direction they want the other to walk. Mostly it’s just another reason for Jounouchi to steal Yuugi’s puzzle again and relive the trauma.

Remember that time that Jounouchi tried to get Yuugi to punch him and Yuugi broke out in tears because he didn’t like violence? I mean honestly, out of everyone Yuugi knows. Jounouchi was probably the nicest bully he had. Doesn’t mean Yuugi isn’t incredibly insecure about it.

Instead of fighting back, Yuugi decides to skip his turn. It’s a contrast to the other Joey/Yugi fight because instead of just throwing a fireball in his own face until Joey snaps out of it, Yuugi has decided to rely on trust.

And, much like Grandpa’s Blue Eyed Dragon that would not perform under Kaiba’s reign to kill Yuugi, neither would Jounouchi under Shadi. They even disappear into the aether with the same smoke effect.

And what I think is the most interesting part of this is that the question of “so would they have been friends without the puzzle?” is mostly left open ended.

And if the friendship were solid as a rock, then this whole debate Yuugi has with Shadi wouldn’t even be a debate. Shadi is certain that people will betray you because they can, Yuugi is confident that, even though they do walk you to that ledge, they can change although there is a history of hurt. Shadi was convinced Yuugi couldn’t overcome his lonely past, and Yuugi had to prove that the past can’t hurt him anymore, the past being also his best friend.

Like it’s just something never mentioned in the S1-3, that Yuugi has a lot of issues because all of his friends have been his bully at one point. And like, not to get too PSA, but every friendship has to be looked at by a case by case basis. You can’t generalize and say “everyone who betrays you can change.” But the message here isn’t about keeping any relationship that is toxic, it’s about overcoming the pain of the past.

Also Jounouchi is hella cursed so he won’t be back to his old ways anytime soon.

Kind of hard to tell, but Honda got covered in a layer of white fire extinguisher juice and it’s a look that uhhhh we would never illustrate this way in 2019. Times were more innocent in the 90′s.

Just kidding, they absolutely weren’t, I have no idea who allowed Honda to be drawn this way.

Reminder that Kaiba is just sitting pretty in one of these classrooms, maybe watching Joey’s ass scrape up against the window while Honda completely covered in mysterious white stuff screams bloody mercy. As the teacher teaching this particular class ignores all of this, Kaiba would just be thinking to himself “Aw. that’s fun.”

And so ends this really long but honestly, pretty interesting episode. Season Zero has a lot of rough patches, like I’m probably not going to do every episode of it, but when it connects to what we’re watching its neat to compare and contrast the two. Kind of wish we had more of Yugi facing his past in the current anime but instead it’s Kaiba facing his past. So we...kind of get it? Just with a different character?

Shadi picks up his key and walks away unscathed. Mostly because Yuugi does not currently know how to mind-wipe. Seems that that is mostly a Pharaoh thing and as far as I can tell Yuugi is still just one person with an alternate personality.

Off he goes, that bastard.

Amazing that everyone’s pretty much on good terms with Shadi by the end of S1. Like he’s just kind of a pal that shows up and “accidentally” leads you directly to kill your own Dad when in Season Zero he is...really outwardly evil.

Anyway, that was a hellton of content haha, next week it’s back to Joey dueling a lawyer while Kaiba gets lost in the woods.

[a-damson-in-distress]

From Dusk Till Dawn - Chapter 5

Pairing: MadaSaku

Plot: Sakura was searching for a purpose. Madara was thirsting for revenge. Little do they know their fates intertwined centuries ago. Once he broke free from his banishment, he would usher in a new dusk. Until he realised that she was his dawn. Historical/mythological AU.

Note: Salutations, my lovelies. I’m back from the dead. So I know most of you will have probably forgotten this fic even exists (hell, even I forgot lol), but guess what - IT’S BACK BITCHES! I honestly have no idea what came over me today, but somehow I got reminded of this blog and the fics I started here, so I decided to dig it up out of the depths of my browser history, and you know what? I totally forgot how much fun I had writing these and that daaaaaaamn I had some good stories going on, which were in desperate need of updating, if only to ease my guilty conscience. 

Speaking of which, I honestly have no excuses for going AWOL for so long. I know some of you may have been bummed, because I think this fic did have a teeny tiny bit of a following, but honestly guys, this writing blog was only one of my many hobbies and it was never meant to take up too much of my time. It was one of these things I occasionaly devote my time to, but that was always doomed to be second place to my life/relationship/university responsibilites. But on the bright side, I did finally get my Bachelor’s degree, whoooo! Buuuuuuuut I am still at uni doing my Master’s, sooooo ya know - still not going to be a regular thing here. 

Anyways, TL;DR: I wanted to update this little nugget here out of pure nostalgia and curiosity to see how many of you will still remember the story, to see how many will appreciate and like this update and depending on your reaction, I might actually take up writing again. Goodie, I’m excited to be back. Have fun! :)

Oh also, please check out the first 4 chapters before reading this one, since - you know - I let so much dust settle on this story none of y’all will probably know what’s going on. 

EDIT: I had to delete the links to the first 4 chapters, because this chapter wasn’t showing up under the madasaku tag or any of the other tags, but as soon as I deleted the links it did? Soooo yeah whatever, fuck you Tumblr links. You’re gonna have to scroll through my blog to get to the other chapters, I’m sorry. I’ll figure out a way to post all of it in one piece, promise. Have fun and let me know what you think! :)

500 years ago…

The heavens stood still.

Silence.

Death.

Victory.

Tsunade watched a tired Jiraiya fall to his knees and let out a pained groan. Allowing a nervous sigh to escape her lips, she closed her eyes.

They did it. They finally did it. After decades of warfare, bloodshed, and carnage, they finally managed to seal away the bane of their existence.

The last of the dusk gods had fallen.

Opening her eyes again, she let her tired gaze wander across the scene of their final battle. Slain gods lay scattered across the barren field, the ashen ground beneath them stained in the colour of their blood.  Giant craters burning with the dreaded flames of the underworld tore through the otherwise idyllic scenery of the heavens like wounds from blade. The black flames of the dusk god’s feared Amaterasu eating up what little was left of the trees that once made this surrounding a forest.

It matters not, she kept telling herself. He is gone. And the dawn gods shall rebuild.

Just as Tsunade was about to join Jiraiya to take a look at his wounds, an ear-piercing screeching tore through her head, forcing her to her knees. Barely managing to open her eyes against the penetrating pain in her mind, she watched the other surviving gods around her writhe and hold their heads in agony.

All of a sudden, the screeching ebbed, giving way to a low hissing sound before a mysterious voice whispered into all of their ears:

At the fall of dusk, at the fall of old, spring shall bring forth his keeper,

who will call to him until his return at the night the darkness swallows the heavens.

Young and weak, the Eastern light shall seek out the old power in the West,

who will envelop her in darkness to unleash their true might.

Dawn will be his light, and dusk shall return.

It was only when the throbbing pain in her head finally dissipated that Tsunade dared to look up. The remaining gods looked at each other questioningly.

They were familiar with this pain, with this feeling. The hissing voice in their head. The dawn gods all knew what this was.

A prophecy. Foreshadowing the return of Madara.

The survivors did what they could to tend to the wounded on the battlefield. When no one else could be saved, the gods set them aflame and watched their bodies dissipate into golden dust, releasing their divine essence into the vast expanse of the universe, praying for them to be reborn again. Then, they retreated to their respective homes – or what was left of them – to lick their wounds, celebrate their survival, and grieve the death of the fallen.

Tsunade felt a heavy sadness weighing down her heart that night. Despite their unimaginable victory over the mightiest god to ever grace the face of the heavens, they had lost so many. She knew more peaceful times lay ahead of them now, and yet she felt restless. It had been ages since the universe had whispered a prophecy into their ears. And this one was particularly unsettling.

Dusk shall return.

But they sealed him, Tsunade reminded herself. And with one of Hashirama’s seals, no less. She was the one who studied the dusk god’s inscriptions, who knew his incantations like the back of her hand. She was certain Hashirama’s seal would be enough to imprison Madara for the rest of his miserable days.

And yet, mere minutes after the dawn gods managed the unthinkable and sealed away the last dusk god, the universe decided to warn them of his return. And prophecies always came true, the dawn goddess knew that much.

Not only that, but the prophecy also spoke of some Eastern light, who would supposedly help him unleash his true might. A cold shiver ran down Tsunade’s spine at the thought of Madara teaming up with such a force of nature that will grant him even more fearsome powers than he already had.

Yet the goddess of healing had no time to dwell on her worrisome thoughts, as her mind picked up the desperate prayer of a mortal couple. Never one to abandon the ones in need, the blonde goddess raced down into the mortal realm and materialised unseen in the living room of a small hut. She watched the couple on their knees, huddled together in front of the fire. They were rocking back and forth, with the woman holding a small bundle in her arms and the man raising one arm pleadingly into the air, calling out to the goddess of healing to save this poor baby.

This baby? Is that not their own child, Tsunade thought suspiciously. Babies do not just fall from the heavens.

Taking one step closer to the fire, the goddess suddenly felt a divine glow emanating from the bundle in the woman’s arms. Tsunade would recognise that anywhere – the essence of the gods. This was indeed not the mortal couple’s child, but a newborn of the dawn gods.

Still hidden from the mortal’s view, she leaned down and caught a glimpse of pink hair and emerald green eyes, staring knowingly, yet tiredly at her. As Tsunade stretched out a hand towards the babe to check its body temperature, a tiny chubby fist suddenly enclosed her index finger. This little touch was enough to flood the goddess with a feeling of warm motherly love.

Tsunade knew in that instant that this deity shall be hers to raise, care for, and love.

With her divine power, she mentally reached out to the mortals and willed them to lay the small bundle on the floor by the fire. She watched them carefully lower the baby and step back from the fire, worriedly glancing around the living room and waiting for something to happen.

In the blink of an eye, the small bundle was gone. The couple sighed in relief and fell into each other’s arms, knowing their beloved goddess of healing would take care of that weak little girl.

“Do you really think that was a wise choice?”

Tsunade ignored Jiraiya’s incessant nagging and kept bouncing the little babe on her arm. Immediately after taking the young goddess from the mortal’s hut, she returned home to her half-standing palace in the East, where some of the surviving gods have retreated to recuperate. One of them being Kakashi, the feared god of lightning, who was pinning her with a scrutinising gaze.

“Jiraiya’s right, you know. Tonight, of all nights, with this new prophecy looming above our heads… Have you even thought for a second that she could be this Eastern light, his keeper that was prophesised?”

Tsunade scoffed and shot him a challenging glare. “Please, Kakashi, don’t be paranoid. It was just one of the millions of prayers I receive every day. Only this time, it happened to involve a newly born dawn goddess, instead of a weak mortal. Just because she is one of us, does not mean she is tied to the prophecy. In fact, we should be thankful our pantheon is growing again after we lost so many.”

“The prophecy clearly said that at the fall of dusk some kind of keeper will emerge who is destined to help Madara unleash his full power upon the heavens. The fall of dusk was tonight, and after decades of no new deities, tonight is the night the universe decides to give us a new goddess, during spring no less? Coincidences like these might happen to the mortals but not in the heavens,” Shikamaru grumbled before taking a well-deserved puff from his ivory kiseru.

Rolling her eyes at the god of wisdom and strategy, Tsunade switched the little bundle to her other arm and kept bouncing her up and down, before she said, “What you all fail to see is that she cannot be the Easter light from the prophecy, since I found her in a mortal village in the middle of nowhere, not even remotely close to anywhere East. And don’t you think that if such a powerful force destined to be tied to Madara emerged that we would not have felt its birth? Elemental abnormalities, time standing still, earthquakes – anything that might indicate a new divine force has emerged. But there was absolutely nothing when this little goddess here was born. In fact, she is so tiny and weak, I honestly doubt that she will have a purpose grander than making flowers grow, that’s how harmless she is.”

Tsunade saw the uncertain faces around her, their doubtful gazes boring into her determination to keep the babe. She had to convince them, somehow. She could not just leave a part of her divine family, especially now that her kin was nearly wiped out. As soon as the young goddess had touched her, Tsunade felt responsible for her. She had to ignore the nagging feeling at the back of her head screaming at her to listen to the prophecy.

Yes, there were too many coincidences, Tsunade had to admit that herself. The prophecy clearly talks of a female, emerging during this particular night, during spring. All of which applied to the little dawn goddess in her arms.

But there was no way she could be the Eastern light; the goddess was not tied to any particular region. And Tsunade could not – for the life of her – imagine this tiny, frail little thing would be capable of stoking the fire of Madara’s wrath to the point that she would be the one to unleash his true might.

Shaking away her doubts, Tsunade gazed into the tired emeralds of the little girl in her arms. A smile spread across her lips when the tiny goddess snuggled closer to her chest.

There was absolutely no way she would abandon this little thing, not now after she lost so many of her family.

Raising her head, she shot a determined glance at all of the surviving deities in her presence and exclaimed, “I will not resign this precious goddess to a prophecy we have not even fully deciphered yet. None of us know what half of that steaming pile of donkey dung even means, so nobody is going to determine her fate based on any of that. Besides, even if she really is this keeper of his, this way we can at least raise her on our side. Teach her our story, our ways, our kindness. She will never be corrupted by him if we have the power to tell her the things we want her know. If he really does come back and they really do cross paths, there is no way she will choose him. I will tie her to me as tightly as she tied me to her.”

Lowering her caramel eyes, she cast a loving glance at the newest addition to her family and whispered softly, “I will protect my daughter from him. No matter what.”

Went to him… willingly … kidnapped … she chose him … sacrifice …

Sakura’s muddled mind started picking up fragments of speech as she slowly started to wake from her slumber. Forcing her weak body to sit up, she cast a disoriented glance around her only to find herself in her chambers at her mother’s palace.

All of a sudden, memories started flooding her mind and she felt her heart rate pick up.

Madara.

She finally met him. She was in his palace. She was so close to getting some answers. A blush crept up her neck at the thought of his calloused fingers holding her chin in place as he was leaning closer to her, before… Before the dawn gods laid siege to his palace to take her away from him.

Wait, from him? Where did that thought come from? Since when did Sakura think she belonged by his side? She had only known him for a few moments and from what she had seen on the battlefields, he was not a god whose company she should be yearning for. And yet, she had never felt so strong, so alive as when being close to him.

And now that they were separated, her old familiar frailty had returned as well.

The young dawn goddess could feel frustration bubble up inside her. Rarely did she get mad at something or someone, but her constant state of weakness had been a source of anger for all of her short life. And the one being who could rectify that just had to be her mother’s mortal enemy and the one who had been waging war against her kin for the last weeks.  

Sakura felt like throwing something against the wall. Alas, all the smashable things in her room were solid gold or heavy ivory, all of which was too difficult for her to even pick up now. In Madara’s presence, however, she felt like she could carry the entire heavens on her shoulders.

Her depressing thoughts were interrupted when she felt the voices on the other side of her door grow louder.

“Look what Tsunade’s tying down has brought us. She went to him, willingly. All that keeping her close was for nothing!”

“She is so weak, she cannot even open doors without struggling, and you really think she made that trip all the way to the Western end of the heavens on her own? He clearly kidnapped her. We are lucky he left her alive for whatever reason.”

“Then tell me why she was reaching out to him when I-“

The angry voices were silenced when her mother suddenly burst through the doors and stomped into her room, glowering at Sakura with a furious expression.

“What in the heavens were you thinking?!”

[mimiplaysgames]

Hey y’all.

It’s been real quiet on my side, and I apologize. I have been working on a new chapter, but the speed at which I am capable of completing it is grossingly slow. I wanted to finish and update it like more than a week ago, and yet I can’t seem to write more than ten words in an hour.

There’s lots of reasons why I guess. I’m insecure, I’ve had nights where I nearly deleted everything I have and shut down my accounts, disappear off the face of the planet like I never existed in the first place. I’ve been struggling with nightmares for a month now. I’m not okay. Out of all the episodes I’ve had since starting to write, I would probably say that this has to be the worst by far (and I thought the ones I had last summer and November were horrid).

But as slow as I’m going, I’m still going, and that’s what’s most important. I’ve been very transparent about struggling with mental disorders, and if you’ve ever wondered what it actually looks like... well this is it. Some of you may think, “wow this is dark” and like yeah, it is. A dark friend really, they never go away. And that’s okay, you make room for them to be comfortable, like a hated member of a family you have to learn to love. By clinical terms, it’s severe emotional dismanagenent. In real life, it’s like having chronic pain (the nicest way I can describe it). Every day is about survival. I’m a survivor. The battle with one’s mind is the main reason why I write anything, and I know some of you have noticed.

I guess I’m struggling to find ways to keep my chin up and to look ahead and be excited over my own writing in particular. If you know anything about me, you’d know that I’m not capable of having self-esteem, even though I am intellectually aware that building self-confidence is a method to the madness. Borderline Personality laughs at my attempts, and down the rabbit hole I’ll sink back into eventually, but at least I can try. So, here are some jots and uncensored thoughts about what I am up to:

-The next update I have been working so hard on is the next chapter to my sequel, “A Powerful Enough Dream.” I thought about posting an unedited preview as proof that it exists. Aqua’s first day in the Realm of Light, stuck in Traverse Town where she realizes that she left the worlds in worst shape. Now she has a serial killing Heartless named Kefka to contend with. She’ll meet Final Fantasy characters, Riku and Sora, and she has to lay down the path she will have to take to get Terra and Ven back.

-After that, I’m releasing the fifth chapter to “A Rush of Blood to the Head.” Aqua will have to deal with the consequences of being a Nort vessel. She’s left with mending Terra’s broken heart - a huge complicated issue that she has no clue how to approach.

-Then I will work on my second installment of “in the shape of a star,” where Aqua will finally have to get herself to pick up the pieces of her life after the Keyblade War, which includes being a proper teacher to Ven and starting her search for her Keyblade.

-After this, I have to get back to my pre-BBS collection, “Beloved Memories, in Notes” where I continue the story of Terra meeting Aqua for the first time. Pressured by keeping up with Eraqus’ expectations and not understanding how to make friends, Terra comes in contact with a demon, Ardyn, in the worst of circumstances when he can barely comfort the girl he’s charged with looking after. The more I write for this collection, the more importance it takes in my longfics. And if there is any story in that collection I am most excited about completing, it’s this specific one.

There’s no telling when any of these will be done but know that they’re in the works and I’m trying my best.

There has also been an announcement I have wanted to make for some time but I’ve decided to wait. There are some fine colleagues who think I don’t deserve to belong there or to work among them but... fuck ‘em. I’ve been nearing the point where I simply cannot give a shit anymore, though this has been heart-breaking and dehumanizing. It’s a struggle to make peace with, but I’ve also had enough with the gatekeeping. I also have to count my blessings since I know that I’m not the only one who has been hurt by the elitism in this community (it’s ugly), and knowing that I’m not alone is at least helpful. My own blog has changed so much since I opened it and who I am silent about speaks a fuck ton.

C’est la vie, and onward to better things, right?