#especially the issues are BAD dissociation

[cambriancrew]

You have a very limited experience with mixed plural spaces, and it's evident. Any system of any origin and any diagnostic status can have dissociative barriers between their systemmates, or no barriers. Any system of any origin or diagnostic status can have memory issues. Any system of any origin can have ALL the trauma and dissociative symptoms common to DID. Any system of any origin or diagnostic status can have DP/DR, PTSD, and/or CPTSD. Hell, we're 100% endogenic and we have CPTSD and have in the past had a ton of its symptoms including things that strongly affected our system. (After a decade of therapy and a TON of work in and out of therapy, and getting out of an abuse-normative workplace, our CPTSD is mostly resolved now. Still have regular PTSD though.) We still have flashbacks. We still have triggers related to our abuse and trauma, including some that are bad enough they've caused issues at work before. That we're in the process of getting ADA accommodations for. (Can't work with a migraine with accompanying nausea, as that's one of our worst triggers.)

And I'm not referring to primarily endogenic spaces. I mean genuinely mixed spaces. The plural subreddit, for instance. Discord servers for systems of all types. The now-defunct plurality resource forums. The yearly plurality world conference with hundreds of participants. A few of our friend groups. We talk about positive AND negative things, especially with the friend groups and the conference due to a culture of peer support.

Endogenics can experience the bad things common to DID too, especially when they HAVE DID. And there are DID systems WITHOUT those things. Idk how to emphasize this enough.

Also I'm not saying you can never tell. Only that you cannot tell 100% of the time. There's nothing 100% exclusive to any system origin or diagnostic status that all of those with that origin and diagnostic status have and none others have.

Taking and editing posts from CDD systems talking about their experience to make them "endo inclusive" is like (actually just is) taking a post from someone with PTSD talking about their experience with their trauma and making it inclusive to people without PTSD. It doesn't make sense, it's just insensitive.

Endos and CDD systems will always have different experiences. If an endo and a CDD system described their experiences to someone without hiding the bad parts (because being a CDD system comes with bad parts.), you would be able to tell the difference in minutes. To take a trauma survivors post and make it inclusive to people it doesn't apply to is next level "I'm uncomfortable when things aren't about me"

This is what people mean when they say endos invade CDD spaces. You (the people doing this) are making something that isn't about you into something that is because you are so desperate for everything to be about you that you can't stand to see people doing their own things. CDD systems deserve to be able to talk about their experiences EXCLUSIVE TO THEIR DISORDER without making it apply to people who don't have that disorder. That's like expecting someone with autism to make sure they talk about their experience in a way that includes people without autism.

[icharchivist]

i mean i get why it sucks but i've been having an existential crisis that keeps me up at night for most of my life too and i'm not producing people expressly to abuse them and use them as tools about it. Astrals are just on something else i guess

i'd say it's a question of scale in general, as in an existential crisis coming so deeply from a whole different life in your head would fuck someone up much more. but anyway i keep saying Lucilius' way to treat other is bad, in those same posts in fact, just that his issues with depersonalization/derealization are also extremely compelling and actually make me feel bad for him. Those two feelings can coexist, and i don't mean that you have to be nicer to him or anything. i'm just saying he's still an interesting character.

[clockwayswrites]

City Pigeons Bleed Green, Part 5

WC:1063, Masterpost

CW: dissociation, self esteem issues, (past) dehumanization, referenced torture and experimentation

Danny flinched, again.

He felt bad for it, Red Robin was being as careful as possible sliding the rubber fabric between the collar and Danny’s skin, but it was just that having hands on the collar like that freaked Danny out. He closed his eyes and mentally ran through the numbers of pi. He used to know over a hundred of them. Now he was only certain of about seventy-six or so. There were a lot of things that used to be so much clearer in his memory than they were now.

“Just the overlap now,” Red (the others just called him Red), said.

He flinched again as Red pressed lightly against his neck to overlap the fabric, but the hands pulled away after.

“Do you need a little break?” the other one, Nightwing, asked.

“No. I just want this off, please,” Danny begged. He had gotten used to begging in the last year. Years?

“We’ll get it off,” Red said confidently.

Danny tried to trust that. He kept his eyes closed.

A gloved hand slipped into Danny’s, giving him something to cling to other than the sheets. Danny recoiled at the touch at first, but when the hand started to pull away, Danny twisted their fingers together and held on tightly. He didn’t open his eyes to see who’s hand he was holding.

As Red started to work on the collar, Danny couldn’t help but tense. He’d been shocked by it so many times. He was like Pavlov’s dog, collar and all, he thought bitterly.

“Almost there,” Red warned.

Danny could tell the instant that the seal of the collar was broken. It was like moving a limb that had fallen asleep, but the pins and needles were everywhere, inside and out. It was agonizing.

It was a relief.

A damp cloth was dabbing under his nose.

He blinked rapidly and Nightwing came into focus. The hero looked so concerned.

“Wha…” Danny croaked.

“Nose bleed,” Nightwing explained. He folded the cloth and set it aside.

Moving slowly (though Danny still struggled to follow the motion) Nightwing reached out and places his hands on either side of Danny’s face. Gently, he tilted it this way and that. “You didn’t exactly lose consciousness, but you… went somewhere else.”

“I do that, I think,” Danny said. The hands started to pull away and Danny swayed after them. One returned to help keep him upright. Danny’s eyes fluttered closed. “It was easier… to be away than there.”

The thumb stroked gently across Danny’s cheek.

He could feel himself tearing up. When was the last time he had been touched with kindness? Why was he now? They didn’t know what he was, that’s why.

“You’re safe here, I promise. You don’t have to go away anymore.”

-

Jason looked up from the cutting board when Dick came out of the bedroom. Dick did his best to offer his brother a smile as he took a seat on one of the slightly rickety stools at the kitchen counter.

“How is he?” Jason asked. He had swapped his helmet for just a domino. (To Dick it was a pretty clear sign that Jason has already claimed the kid as theirs.)

“Better. The nose bleed stopped and he was fully conscious again,” Dick said. “He says he does that, goes away like that. It sounds like it was a defense mechanism for whatever those bastards put him through.”

“Fucking hell,” Jason muttered.

“Yeah. I’ll let the others know so that anyone looking over him knows to watch out for it. Especially if anyone takes him out shopping or anything…”

“Right,” Jason said with a grimace, clearly picturing how badly that could go.

Dick just gave a little nod. He dragged the table that Tim must have been using close and opened it to check on the rest of the family.

“You, me, and Cass?” Jason asked a few minutes later.

“What?”

“One of us three should always be here, right? Or Babs if we move to a different safe house.”

Dick hummed thoughtfully. “There’s something to be said for moving safe houses if the kid plans to wait awhile before wanting to see Bruce.”

This safe house was bearable, but it really was one of their worse ones. It didn’t even had a table to eat at or a television. They could deal with the one bedroom and a couch, but Dick got the feeling there would be a lot of Bats stopping by whenever possible and that it wouldn’t quite cut it.

“We can see how Kid is tomorrow after rest and food,” Jason said. “If he’s up to being in a car with us we can easily move to any of them.”

“Maybe the one on Rosserie Street?”

“Which one is that?”

“Upper East Side.”

“Ah, yeah,” Jason said with a little nod, pushing the things off his cutting board and into the large pot on the stove. “That one would work. More space and better stuff.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Dick said. It was one of their apartments set up for a long term hideout if one of them was too injured to be seen in public or supposedly out of town as cover. “And big enough beds people can share.”

Jason snorted. “I’ll stick to the couch. The demon brat kicks.”

“Do you think he’ll stop by?” Dick asked as he picked at the thick rubber case on the tablet.

With a heavy sigh, Jason crossed his arms and leaned a hip against the counter. “Yeah, I think he will. I think he’ll need to, for his own sake. I’d rather it be when you were here, you’re the only one of us who can really control him if he gets… territorial.”

“He’s been better,” Dick pointed out.

“This is different and you know it. This is blood, even if it’s green. Hell, it being green might actually make it worse.”

Dick groaned and let his head thunk onto the tablet. “Yeah… I’ll talk with him and try to get B and A to also.”

“Yeah,” Jason said and reached over to pat Dick on the back.

Why did being a the oldest have to be so exhausting? And now there was another one. Not that Dick would trade any of them away, but he could really use a vacation, a drink, and a long nap.

I no longer tag, but you can subscribe to the masterpost.

---

AN: Dick really really wants to hug Danny but is really really afraid of scaring him. Don't worry, he'll get hugs.

[psychotrenny]

While I don't think much of the overall USamerican population cares about the genocide in Gaza, the scale of the recent protests show that it's a pretty important issue for the more progressive and politically active segment*. A segment which assumes a disproportionate electoral importance in a nation like the USA with non-compulsory voting and generally low voter turnouts. Like your "average" Yank might not give a shit about Palestine, but said average Yank wasn't gonna vote anyway. And the people who actively support the Genocide are mostly gonna vote for Trump no matter what; Harris's stance on Gaza did a pretty good job of driving off people who might have voted for her without attracting new support.

It's not as though Trump is very popular; he just managed to maintain some sizeable base of supporters by doing the bare minimum job of a politician and "promising them things they want". Like Trump managed to win this election with fewer total votes than he had in his 2020 loss; you could say that he's "more popular" than Harris but that's really not a high bar. The electorate less voted for Trump and more didn't vote for Harris because why the hell would they? She had nothing worthwhile to offer so Trump more or less won by default. While Gaza wasn't necessarily decisive in this, it certainly fucking hurt especially among the demographics (i.e. Ethnic Minorities, Young People) that Harris was trying hardest to reach. At the very least, a more popular Gaza policy could have made her loss a lot less humiliating.

But the US DP doesn't seem that interested in victory anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. They get paid for putting on a show, creating a nice distracting spectacle; actually winning seems secondary at best. I doubt they'll learn any lessons beyond "We need to get more Racist". And considering the recent surge in posts to the effect of "I can't wait for White Supremacists to brutalise you as punishment for not Voting Blue", it's a lesson their online supporters are already putting into practice with enthusiasm

*I must emphasise that I'm defining this "segment" very broadly; It's not as though you need an especially principled or coherent ideology to conclude "Explicit Genocide is bad and we should at least dissociate ourselves from it"

[tealottie]

What are your headcanons about Della?

I have so many, but tbh my favorite headcanons have to do with her having PTSD - so i can't promise this will be a fun post

MASTERLIST OF DELLA HEADCANONS BELOW:

Appearance:

Scars from the Moon

One across her beak on left side

Scars on her arms and legs

Other markings

Stretch marks especially on her tummy and butt

A few stretch marks on her chest and thighs

Freckles on her beak (because she had triplets and ducks IRL sometimes get freckles after pregnancy)

Other

Chubby pear shape

DD cup size

Squishy belly

Big eyes

Fluffy unkempt feathers (she's bad at preening)

Thin hair (also bad at taking care of it)

Short beak

Queer Headcanons:

Homoromantic

Bisexual

Prefers to just call herself a lesbian

Ciswoman (doesn't mind they/them pronouns and probably finds it entertaining if she's referred to as he/him)

Supports all of her queer babies

She also does not actively seek out romance, but she isn't offput by the idea entirely

Mental Health and Neurodiverse Headcanons:

PTSD

Hates being alone at any given moment and had to ask Donald if she could room with him in the houseboat for a few months

Genuinely cannot look at her reflection and will be needing exposure therapy

Does not like the feeling of movement underwater because it reminds her of the moon's gravity

Terrified that she'll never be fully capable of being a mom because of the 10 years she missed

Cringes at any moon or space themed items now - sometimes triggers her on a bad day or if she looks at them for too long

Her hair being too long is a trigger for her, so she always keeps it shoulder length or above

She ALWAYS feels cold even if her body temperature is normal and sometimes it drives her crazy

Lots of nightmares about what-ifs - what if it was my kids instead of me, what if it was my brother instead of me, what if i didnt have oxychew, what if i never met the Moonlanders, etc etc etc

The taste of black licorice will genuinely send her spiraling, and because it lingers - it wrecks her for days (she hates similar flavors such as rootbeer)

Finds a lot of joy in warm places so she now loves to be out in the sun

Had a period of time where she wasn't really talking with Penumbra because of the severity of her triggers/ptsd

Both finds peace in dead silence, but it also brings her back to the moon as well - she has a very complex relationship with isolation

Prefers silver over gold (even though she doesn't wear jewelry, she likes silver on others and silver on things such as zippers and buttons)

Spent quite a few years terrified of flying after the horror of her own trauma set in, but it threw her into a big depression since piloting is her passion

Hates taking care of her stump because she doesn't like taking her prosthetic leg off - she sees it as her own, so she hates taking it off even though she knows she needs to when sleeping or showering

She has a hard time looking at her stump and scars because on one hand; sick as hell battle wounds, but on the other; damn was that the worst time in my entire life

Depression and Anxiety

Even before crashlanding on the moon, she dealt with depression and social anxiety

She has a bit of a hard time keeping her room tidy and taking care of herself, but she's phenomenal at putting other people first

Feels as though she's not attractive enough

Wants to be a ray of sunshine in other peoples' lives

She's very scared that she won't be enough for people and therefore she must put 110% into everything she does for others

ADHD and Autism

Her sensory issues tend to directly conflict with her PTSD issues - like she hates silence because of the moon, but sometimes she gets overstimulated by noise and needs the silence or alone time

She does not sleep until her body physically passes out because the change in activity is hard for her to deal with

Goes insane if she feels understimulated because her brain begins to shut down and she dissociates

Many, many stims (sometimes doubles as grounding with PTSD): bouncing her leg, various hand motions, feeling the fabric of her clothes, physical affection with her loved ones, playing with the tightness of her prosthetic (loosening and then tightening it over and over), shaking her head to feel her hair around her shoulders (and solidifying that what she's feeling is earth gravity)

Really hard time understanding social cues that makes her come across as rather ditzy

Special interest in aircraft technology and was a top student at her flight school

Love/Hate relationship with reading because if she enjoys what she's reading she gets invested, but if she's understimulated, the words jumble together in her mind

Not good at math for a similar reason

Fish are a huge sensory nightmare for her; the scales, the smell, the taste, etc

Is generally pretty sensory-seeking, but has a few Hard Nos on textures (such as slimy scales)

Other:

I headcanon Della having compulsive sexual behavior disorder, and her libido especially spiked after being on the moon for 10 years, and it makes her feel really gross at times

Due to said hypersexuality, she gets intrusive thoughts that piss her off

Because of the moon not really having a clear indicator of night and day, Della lost her circadian rhythm and struggles with a Hell combination of non-24 and ADHD insomnia

The lack of general sleep makes it hard for her to lose weight and so she's insecure about that

Physical Disabilities:

Because she was on the moon for so long, the zero gravity and lack of proper breathable oxygen took a huge toll on her, physically

She developed really bad asthma and will likely be recovering from it for the rest of her life

Her lungs can only intake so much oxygen at a time, so she also struggles with shortness of breath

Upon returning to earth, her body was really broken down from the cold atmosphere - causing her to not be able to regulate her body temperature properly

Her bones were weakened upon arrival, so she has to spend years recovering physically from it

Her stump is irritated a lot because she doesn't like taking care of it properly

She owns crutches for when she needs to take breaks from her prosthetic just because of the discomfort when wearing it

She is not afraid to hit Donald with a crutch BTW

IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER SPECIFIC HEADCANONS THAT YOU ARE CURIOUS ABOUT, SHOOT ME AN ASK! <3

[reimeichan]

So you're trying to help someone through system discovery. What to do?

Was talking to my singlet partner, who at this point has, somehow, netted 3 system partners and another highly-dissociative-but-does-not-necessarily-have-a-CDD throughout their life, about what it's like to help us through dissociation and system discovery. I honestly don't remember much of my own behavior and actions throughout my early CDD recovery journey because my dissociation was that bad, and I really appreciate them taking the time to sit down with me and talk about their experiences with me. And I figured I'd share some of their wisdom that they shared with me here, along with wisdom others have shared with me and wisdom I've managed to pick up myself.

Let the person define their experiences however they want. You can offer them example and perspective based on your own knowledge and experiences and offer up wording if they're struggling with explaining something, but avoid trying to deny or "correct" anything, especially early on.

Go slowly, and at their pace. Don't push for them to learn more about their system, don't ask them to go digging for trauma memories (please, god, please don't do this), don't force them to stay grounded for extended periods of time if they can't. Sometimes a gentle nudge here and there can be helpful, especially if you know the person well and know what their limits are or at least know what to look out for, but be careful how far you push and at the end of the day it works better to trust that they know themselves better than you do.

Accept them for who they are, yes each and all of them. Not every member of the system will be all sunshine and rainbows, some parts may even be "cringe" in some way, and especially when dealing with someone with a CDD you're almost definitely going to be dealing with traumatized parts or parts that are otherwise unpalatable in some way. If a part comes forward with an identity or experience you're unfamiliar with, give them the same love and acceptance you would any other part.

Similarly, do not push alters away simply for existing. Many people make the mistake of thinking there's a "true" personality in the system (ie. a core/original, sometimes attributed to the host alter) and thus only want to interface with that specific alter. In truth, every alter in the system is just as real as each other and it's important to treat all of them as valid.

Understand that this is probably just as if not more confusing for the system going through system discovery than it is for you. Realizing you're a system or a part of a system can cause massive identity issues and shifts in the understanding of the self. Be patient with them as they may be experiencing a lot of conflicting emotions during this time.

Check what's helpful for them or what they'd like you to do to help them through system discovery. Do they want you to help point out potential switches? Do they want you to help with grounding? Do they want help remembering things that may have gotten lost in their amnesia? Would they prefer to explore things by themselves (or with just their therapist) with little to no outside help? Every system is different and what may help one system could be detrimental to another.

Above all, take care of yourself and know your limits. Step back if things are overwhelming, set boundaries when you need to. You can be there for your loved one when you're in a better place to help them.

[v0rtex-sys]

TMA disability headcanons time!! this is only michael, gerry, jon, and martin but i will add more later. mild CW for talk of disorders :}

lots of these are based off my own experiences, especially michael </3

also i literally read the DSM-5 for this.

michael:

Cyclothymic disorder - a bipolar disorder. michael definitely has mania + depressive episodes that only last a day or so at a time

separation anxiety - probably been left before, finally found someone he trusts so now (gerry) he’s obsessively worried

ocd - probably caused/related to some of their other issues, i think they have very strict schedules and they freak out if it gets messed up

persistent vocal tic disorder - i think they’d only have vocal tics (until they get spiraled). probably a whistle tic, cursing mayhaps, echolalia

probably was selectively mute as a child

panic disorder - do i even have to explain myself?? i headcanon that it is worse during hypomanic episodes

Hypersomnolence disorder - i bet he is an eepy eeper and regularly falls asleep in weird places

borderline personality - worsened by mania + depressive episodes, their self image is regularly changing and also spiral avatar

visual snow - again, spiral avatar. i have this :} i also just think it’d be interesting

some sort of joint issues in their hands, maybe arthritis but i haven’t decided

gerry:

NPD - this solely of vibes (not in a bad way!!!) i dont have NPD so i can’t say too much ab it, would be down to expand on it but i don’t want to spread misinformation:,}

reactive attachment disorder - i think this is only a diagnosis for children but i'm not certain. mary definitely fucked his mental state up and he avoids people in caregiver roles (might have presented as being extra rebellious as a teenager)

insomnia - it’s essentially canon. i also think he and michael having opposite sleep disorders would be funny :}

ADHD - hyper with zero attention span

chronic fatigue - cane user because of it, can’t walk for too long. fainting/dizzy spells. worsened by the lung cancer

epilepsy - also worsened by lung cancer. probably has migraines bc of the seizures. i bet he regularly has petit mal seizures

jon:

autism - no explanation needed. although i hc that he learned bsl in college cause he kept going nonverbal (or maybe georgie taught them? she seems like she knows bsl)

brief psychotic disorder - literally him all of season two. plus maybe the end of season 4 & the end of season 5.

hoarding disorder - idk they seem like a hoarder to me. but only a little? like they hoard but they’re so anxious about people judging them for it so they force themself to get rid of stuff which results in more horading

ARFID - sensory issues make it hard for them to eat:(

paranoid personality disorder - essentially canon, literally them all of season 2

schizoid personality disorder - ik it could be their autism but still, i think the relationship avoidance (especially with martin) is a bit more than just tism

schizotypal personality disorder - worsened by the eye.

(yes i know that’s all the cluster A personality disorders, it’s not my fault they all fit him!! /lh)

chronic fatigue - probably bc of the eye bullshit, they probably faint a lot

cane user - i dont know what physical disability they’d have, but i like the cane user jon HC soooo

i also think they’d have some nervous tics, not a tourette disorder tho

martin:

dissociative amnesia + derealisation/depersonalization - brought on by the lonely. probably struggles to recognise people (worsened by not-sasha)

rheumatoid arthritis in his hands (+ his feet from the walking in the fearpocalypse)

major depressive disorder - had since he was little, worsened by the lonely

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my partner not to be around me when she has panic attacks?

Probably sounds bad, but please read first. I (28FTM) have been with my partner (25MTF) for just over two years. We’ve lived together just over a year. We both have significant mental health issues, although her symptoms have always been more severe/uncontrolled than mine.

I have always been extremely supportive of my partner’s mental health issues. About 6 months after we started dating she had a mental health crisis that resulted in her being hospitalized for severe suicidal ideation; I helped her get support with her college, find a psychiatrist, therapist, and an HRT provider (since she was extremely dysphoric at the time and hadn’t started).

Around 6 months ago she had another suicidal episode where she actually attempted in front of me. I helped her receive medical help again, supported her throughout and after the hospitalization process, helped her find accommodations for university classes, and find and start alternate treatment (ketamine). I’ve also been supporting her in between her crises by attending some of her therapy with her at her request so I can learn what grounding exercises and such her therapist recommends when she’s panicking or suicidal, since she often forgets her coping mechanisms when in a crisis, and just listening to her and being there when she wants help.

All that is to say, I believe I’ve been extremely supportive in helping her find ways to sustain a healthy life while having mental health issues. However, one of her diagnoses is tourette’s (which I’m aware is neurological and not necessarily psychological) and this results in her having compulsive verbal tics that worsen especially when she’s stressed.

One of these tics is her saying “I’m going to kill myself” repeatedly when distressed (along with other severely hateful statements toward herself). This has always been extremely distressing for me to hear, even when I talk to her to make sure it’s a tic moment and not actual suicidal ideation.

I have been working with my personal therapist so that I don’t immediately go into my own damage-control type crisis when I hear her ticcing. However it’s still been extremely anxiety inducing for me to deal with this, to the point where I’m starting to either dissociate or panic when I even notice that she’s having a panic attack, because I expect to start hearing her say really awful things again. It’s even to the point where I think it’s affecting my overall mental health because I’ve been hearing these distressing tics so often I feel like I’ve started to internalize them (like, me more often having intrusive suicidal thoughts when depressed) although I certainly don’t blame her for how I’ve been feeling or my own thoughts that I’m having when depressed.

I talked to her about this recently and explained how I think it’s been effecting my mental health, especially as I work from home and her panicking often interrupts my work when she comes into our shared office to talk to me while panicking - which then makes me get behind on my work, since I feel like I can’t ignore her and want to help when she’s having a panic attack.

My mental health has also been extremely poor lately as I’m dealing with a lot of work and a sudden diagnosis of (benign) kidney adrenal tumors that I’m starting treatment for. I’ve been doing things to try to improve how I’m feeling but I’m still in a very difficult place right now.

Even though I feel extremely bad for asking I asked her to please try grounding herself at least to the point she’s not loudly saying that she wants to kill her self and hates herself when she’s panicking and wants to talk to me. I emphasized that she should always come talk to me if she is actually feeling like she’s going to do something harmful. But I’m seriously starting to feel like these verbal tics are affecting my functioning day to day, and I don’t know what else to do. And of course I still love her and want to be with her, I don’t even feel like that needs to be said but I want to emphasize it. I just feel like I need to make sure that I am safe and taking care of my basic mental health needs, like not having extreme panic attacks when she’s panicking, to even begin to try and help her out when she’s struggling.

So AITA for asking my partner to stop coming to me when she’s having these extreme panic attacks?

[fandomsnrambles]

The spinjitzu family has recently become my roman empire for some reason, you’re all going to see so much of them 😭

Anyway, i’ve been thinking about his relationships with his sons recently. And I know he doesn’t have a good relationship with any of them.

I know people argue ‘Wu was his favourite’ but i think if we actually look at how he acts, you realise he didn’t really have a favourite. I also feel personally inclined to respectfully mention that just because Garmadon said it, doesn’t make it true. Characters have biases that mess with their worldviews after all. It’s like saying Wu’s to blame for the devourer’s bite because he said he was. Even though he was like seven, maybe nine and had no idea that snake even existed.

Thats why you should take everything they say with a grain of salt and then consider their actions.

Wu’s relationship with his father is complicated. In the spinjitzu books he mentions how he wants his father’s approval, but doesn’t know how to start with getting it. We also get hints of the FSM’s (flawed) parenting methods in the show. I’ve noticed he’s emotionally distant even if he’s physically there. I mean, Wu says his father talked to them (Garmadon and Wu) less after the Aspheera incident. Makes me think that the FSM was definitely not there emotionally.

Due to this, Wu’s emotional needs as a child weren’t really met. His fathers distance hurt him and the FSM (maybe accidentally) neglected him. I say accidentally because i’m pretty sure the FSM is a traumatised child soldier who doesn’t know how to properly cope with everything so they just shut down/dissociate.

Wu was also raised with high expectations (alongside Garmadon.) This probably put him under a lot of stress to keep up. I’m thinking gifted child who got burnt out and more depressed as he aged.

I also think the FSM has trust and paranoia issues. You can look at Nineko and the way they went about dying for this. This guy really hands their son a script of where he died without telling him he gave it to him and mentions the bare minimum details. (I wonder if mentioning too much details got the FSM hurt. Maybe thats why he’s so distant.) Of course, trauma doesn’t really excuse being a flawed parent.

I also feel the need to mention that Wu unintentionally copies his father’s trauma responses. Heck, we could even talk about how Garmadon does the same, and later Lloyd. They all bottle their emotions and issues and hope nothing bad ever happens with that ever. Too bad for them though, we know how this ends

(Oof this is ✨generational trauma✨ at work)

Moving on to Garmadon, we know that after he got bitten by the devourer, the FSM helped him through his episodes and tries his best to find a cure. From this i can honestly say that the FSM did love and care for his sons. But this doesn’t mean they knew how to properly show that they did (especially because he doesn’t have a proper basis for what parent-child relationships should even look like.)

We see this when we get to know of Garmadon’s insecurities as a child. He doesn’t think there was anything wrong with him and seems to hate how the FSM tries to find a cure for him. Maybe because he doesn’t like the implication that he needs ‘fixing’ more than anything else. Garmadon’s also different than Wu in the sense that he grows more resentful of his father as he grows older whilst Wu clings to his father’s attention to get approval/praise.

I also want to mention how this resentment built up also affects how his perception of Wu’s relationship with their dad. He thinks Wu is favoured probably because Wu doesn’t have the venom and is the good one (because the venom apparently makes Garmadon the ‘bad’ one) and he sees his younger brother as the golden child. This probably built to jealousy and then guilt for the jealousy because Garmadon does love his brother a lot.

The high expectations also come’s into play here. It probably puts a lot of weight on Garmadon’s shoulders. Which doesn’t make his growing feelings of resentment better nor does it make his insecurities about his venom any better.

What makes this whole situation worse is that NO ONE in this family knows how to communicate. Wu doesn’t tell his dad or his brother how he feels, Garmadon doesn’t as well and FSM wouldn’t be caught breathing a word of his feelings to be honest.

This whole family would rather die than communicate ffs.

In conclusion:

[rin-and-jade]

Welcome to the World! : A Starting Guide for Alters

This guide's purpose is to help either new formed/split, or those recently risen from dormancy, or the unregistered/unrecognized alters to get one step closer to functioning at the outside world!

It'll be one long rundown, click below to start right away, see you on the flip side.

From here on, what will be mentioned are things to assess some potential problems, questions, and self-discovery prompts. It is recommended to follow the flow of the guide, but if you necessarily need to skim to a certain section, this table of contents will help you:

table of contents

The beginning - Introduction

Things to look out for - potential problems to assess - Mobility - Gender & Species unalignment - World confusion

Starters - self discovery questions

How a system works - lite educative version

Closing - last notes + extra materials

The beginning

Nice to see you here, in the flip side! Now i know you have lots of questions on hand right now, and why you might be reading this as first thing's first; it's because i am here to help prepare yourself in many different aspects that cannot be learnt/figured out in such a short amount of time unless it is assisted with an experienced person.

If you haven't know what's going on up to this point, along with the kind of situation you're in, first off, you're a system.

Yes, thats right, system is a word for a collection of many parts within one body and you are also a part of it. This can mean you'll hear other kinds of accent inside head, and feeling + liking fully different things, as well as possessing different levels of certain skills and memory. More or less, this belongs to the qualities of a Complex Dissociative Disorder,, where there are types like DID, OSDD, Polyfragmented, etc.

This happens because of how dissociation can wall up barriers between other facets of yourself that stops some level of communication or complete it's integration when bad things happen in early years, leaving them mainly separated and self-autonomous; they're known as 'alters' but i personally love calling them as 'parts' or some might go with words like 'headmates' or 'facets' or even 'members'.

This isn't enough to explain the disorder itself, but i hope it suffices in explaining your situation! Feel free to check some extra system details if your gang has one, let's get to the next section.

Things to look out for

Just a quick warning and a reminder, if you are rather new or have not been actively out,, there is a high chance of having issues with limb coordination, control, and balancing. Other than that, the off-putting sensations you feel such as wrong type of species, height, gender, or even the world being foreign from how you perceive it can make things scary and overwhelming.

Fear not, as i also have the solutions for all these:

Handling poor mobility: First off, take a good moment to recognize your length of the arms, legs, learn the shape of your palm and fingers, and to every corners of your body. Start holding some simple objects like mugs or pens, remember how it feels to grab something with your fingers and gauge your grip strength, experimenting when you squeeze or loosen it. Then start interacting with the objects with both your hands, attempt to twirl it, or hold it in different positions and turns. You can also go for a test walk and sway all your joints to get a better picture of your movement range, practice makes perfect in easing your balance and momentum, it is normal to stub or be wobbly or clumsy at first, so take it easy okay?

To manage unalignment: It is hard to feel comfy if it is not the right height, especially for non-human aligned parts, so using props or any equipment or accessories can give you some sense of comfort (you can even walk on toes if you do need to feel a bit more tall, but don't over do this). Since fully eradicating this is impossible, doing anything in your power to lessen the discomfort is the best thing you can do,, there are also phantom limbs which basically means the extra body parts you identify with does not exist. This can be remedied by applying some gentle pressure to think that it is attached to your main body or use your imagination to satisfy that missing limb. for those not being aligned with the gender, if the body is feminine but you are masculine; try investing or search for a binder. If a binder is out of reach, wearing oversized, or baggy clothes, or hoodies will do the trick. And a boyish clothing style and short hair style if possible too. If its masculine in a feminine instead, using more girly oriented clothing style and do your nails, or any activities that affirms feminine aligned gender. I am very sure there are silicon chest pads but not in terms of where it is being sold at, so try to find them if it's available in your area. When neither and is androgynous instead, try searching for gender neutral clothes that are also neutral colored like grey/black/brown. There are many inspirations of this type of fashion so use the internet to gain inspirations on making your own androgyny look, you could even use make up to contour your shape of face. Now, for the ones who walk in hind-legs, get some platform heels/shoes/sandals/boots. You can find a flat one or the slanted one to match your needs. The idea is the slanted part of the shoe and the thick base gives an impression of canine/feline foot balance and for those who have hooves, respectively. (honestly, paw printed socks will do too, i hope) And to manage claws, or fangs, try using fake nail art of your color, or attach a fake vampire teeth guard, respectively. For symbolic means, you can even consume foods that are juicy and red, like meat cooked in medium,, or if you want the more vegan option: watermelons, or gummy that represents meat or grubs or just by being red to represent blood. Lastly, for the avians who have a pair of flaps--multiple wings, or in unusual spots (arm, face) can be eased by applying constant pressure points (any adhesive and items like tape, cotton, band aids, tissue, or plastic wrap) or a cloak/mantle/loose jacket or vest can give you that comfortable enshrouded sensation that comes with wings. Making flap sounds from cloth or any fabric will also give you a stable sense of input for having a 'functional' one, although phantom.

Getting used to the world Start learning how technology works--phone, laptop, kitchen tools, vehicle if any, and anything else that are often used. Make sure you practice enough to easily operate them, and learn how to use the internet and helpful plural apps or websites such as Lighthouse or start using Simply Plural. Try many foods to enhance culinary awareness, identify lots of other objects and the geography of your area to navigate and understand better. Touch many kinds of materials to train your sensory processes. You could also invest in watching shows and try a variety amount of activities to deepen your understanding of life. Explore different kinds of subject that you are particularly interested on, and lastly, never be afraid to do and try new things! This will guarantee you to seamlessly function with anything the world has to offer.

For starters - Self Discovery

Do you have a name?

do you what's your age?

What's your gender?

What are your pronouns?

Do you remember anything, and how much?

Do you seem to retain some past knowledge?

Can you describe what you look like? (Includes species)

Do you find the outside world familiar or foreign?

Can you state your bio name, family, or any important info?

Is it possible to describe yourself identity/vibe wise? (crucial part to tell apart fragments from splits and from holders that do not embody a personality)

What role could you fit as? (a host, protector, etc. Search for alter roles)

Do you like the outside world? Will you have a chance of being out more often? (to gauge how often one will front)

Have any likes and dislikes or preferences/hobbies?

For the bullet points you couldn't answer, take this as a sign to start searching! It will take some time, but you can ask help from anyone and even me when needed.

How a system works

A system works in communication (be it internal or external) and switches that also often have a specific trigger to call out someone else. Sometimes, though not a must, will have an innerworld that facilitates as a place for everyone to meet and interact.

These things are crucial for cooperation, because you'll definitely need that in order to navigate the world and adapt accordingly.

Communication

There are many kinds of communication styles, sometimes a mix of some or have all of the above,, whatever style you have, make sure to use it to the maximum. There are: via images, via abstract vibes, via emotions, or via direct (verbal) internal thoughts. Some do not have any internal communication, so external ones would be things such as keeping notes or write in a diary or any app for text editing.

Keep in mind that the clarity of communication fluctuates due to various factors, stress as one of them. So it is important to know that it will not work in a constant 100% at all times, use this awareness to strategize if, somehow, you have lost contact with the others.

Trigger & Switches

It is something that elicits a feeling that belongs to a part, which in return, can 'wake' or call one to co-con or front. There are negative and positive charged triggers, and i suggest you to explore what are your potential triggers.

The relationship with trigger and switches is, depending on how strong it is, can cause a switch to happen, where you will be swapped out by another one who got 'called' upon. This mechanism is for adapting to different kinds of situations, and these certain triggers are the key to ensuring the right part handle it's respective job as needed.

Switches can be very subtle, or slow, or obvious, or in a snap. This fully depends on how your system is made to handle problems on hand or when in stress, as sometimes it can cause rapid-switching, or the opposite, being stuck or locked in front. Sometimes, they also cause physical symptoms.

System terms - Basics

Fronting - the alter who has full control of the body, and performing tasks. Co-front - the alter, who have awareness between the outside and inside world, as well as able to control the body though not as complete as the fronter. Co-conscious - the alter who have awareness of the outside world, and spectates, and does not have any direct control of the body. Passive influence - when an alter's specific traits or likes/dislikes leaked to others and/or at front, that changes the initial reaction to be more blended with the other one. E.g. A like fries, B is there and likes spicy sauces. So now, A is craving to eat the fries with something spicy, even if A has no interest when it comes to spiciness or sauce.

For closing

Practice makes perfect, this is everything you need to know to hone your knowledge before finally stepping outside with complete freedom, where you can start anywhere you'd like, and to resume your collective's path to functionality and well-being. It's okay if things didn't go well at first try, and remember to reach out to people who you could trust as it'll help you progress faster!

I am aware that this guide still have a lot of room for improvement, so any requests or feedback will be added here for future viewers! This guide will be subjected to constant updates with even more sections being discussed on, or added touch of details. I will also add on my own posts here to serve as additional knowledge that is related to this topic:

Types of amnesia

Are you a Shard, Fragment, or Alter

Types of subsystems

Front-stuck, and how to deal with it

Physical switches

Comorbidity

Being blurry

Starters to system foundations

How comorbidity affects plurals (ADHD & Autism)

Dealing with the sense of faking

The person who needs to give their back a break, - j

[ponkydraws]

SUMMER SUCKS.

Yes, I said it, and now before you come at me for being a pessimistic piece of shit, lemme speak my mind.

Summer with autism is horrible. And I am tired of pretending like it’s this wonderful utopia when in fact it’s autistic hell for me.

So as an autistic teenager with ADHD, who has experienced 16 summers so far, I am here to tell you why it’s so difficult.

(Note that every autistic person is different, this is just my personal experience)

- the heat. Personally heat is a lot more unbearable than cold is, and I get overheated very quickly. I also struggle regulating my feelings as it is, and being in constant discomfort from an irregular heartbeat and clothes sticking to my body does *not* make it any easier.

- swimming. Now, swimming in itself is not bad, in fact I quite enjoy it. It’s the stuff around it - especially on the beach. I don’t like changing clothes, and I don’t like the feeling of wet clothes or wet swimwear. I hate the feeling of sand everywhere and the salt in the water hurts my eyes. You’re also expected to sunbathe on the beach for *hours* on end because “that’s how you spend your summer”. But I don’t like it at all. Yes, a bit of warmth is always appreciated, but laying in the sun for hours on end is painful and overstimulating beyond words.

- the light. I am very sensitive to light yet sunglasses don’t do it for me because of sensory issues. Which means that every time I step outside I’m subjected to painful light for hours on end (specifically when you’re forced out by your family)

- I don’t know why the entire animal kingdom has decided that I seem like a good contestant for their midday snack but I always find bites all over my body - and you guessed it - I’m overly sensitive to pain and itching.

- vacation. This is gonna sound spoiled and ungrateful but please hear me out here. Taking a week off to force the entire family together for the eternity of the vacation is hell. I need space. I need to breathe. Constantly being surrounded by people sends me into dissociation or meltdown, I cannot handle human interaction for so long with no break. It is exhausting and I’m expected to just accept it on top of everything else. I dread it. And while I do appreciate the time taken to have a fun time with all of us, I always feel like I’m trying harder to have fun than actually having fun.

- people pitying you. I constantly find myself being dragged into stuff by family and friends because they pity me, and my way of spending the summer. For some reason it’s unthinkable to a lot of them that I can actually enjoy the summer & the holidays in my own way. I don’t need to swim, or sunbathe, or stay out for long. I’m perfectly fine just drawing and playing board games or chilling at home. Despite repeatedly telling them I don’t enjoy their way of spending the summer, people keep trying to enforce it and I don’t like it. I am perfectly fine this way. I choose it. Leave me be.

So yeah here’s a couple of reasons I am not a fan of the summer, if you’re anything like me , pls lmk, my family thinks I’m crazy

[cyb3rtarot]

Pick a Pile: Message from the Moon Card

Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice; your future’s in your own hands. Take what resonates, don’t force a reading to fit!

pile 1☾pile 2 pile 3☾pile 4

☽

Pile 1: 

Cards: The Moon, Escape (Mars in Pisces, 12th), 7 of Cups rx, 8 of Wands, Queen of Cups rx, 3 of cups, Politics (7 of Mind), Justice, 9 of Swords rx, 5 of wands, You Can’t Go Back to Yesterday, Keep Your Temper rx

The Message: hello pile one! The Moon can indicate both illusions and delusions, and this is the focus of your message today. This pile really gets caught up in their own fantasies or the mask they present to the world. There’s the sense that reality is hard to cope with, and you immediately run to what is safe and comforting—even if it is only providing false comfort. You guys really like to daydream to the point that some of you are maladaptive daydreamers—or you could have similar coping mechanisms that “remove” you from reality (some struggle with dissociation). You might be the kind of person to tell yourself a lie and start believing it (no offense, that’s not uncommon lol). Some of you use your friendships to distract yourself; your first response to a heavy feeling might be to go hang out. There’s an emphasis on really rushing to get away from one’s feelings or problems. Going back to the mask I mentioned, most of you like to put on a brave face and not reveal how you’re really doing. There’s a LOT of feelings flying around inside, but most people wouldn’t know by looking at you. Some of you do this because of social or family pressure; living with people who don’t understand emotional and mental health. You may have internalized the idea of sweeping everything under the rug and holding it in, or you may do this to keep the peace and avoid hurtful words. Most of the time when these kinds of issues come up in my readings I can feel a heavy, melancholic, or scattered energy, but actually this pile’s energy felt kind of light and refreshing all the way through. If this is your default, that explains why you use this as a mask or why people expect it of you. However, you guys have to give space to process your heavier emotions! It’s not easy at all and neither is giving up coping mechanisms. But to restore balance to your mindset, life approach, and discipline, you must confront that sometimes life feels like a battle. That’s not a bad thing even if it makes you feel bad; it’s necessary for true growth. A lot of you need to stand up for yourself, and this may manifest as tough conversations or arguments. I’m not suggesting you HAVE to go argue with someone—especially if you don’t feel safe, but do analyze the way you can show up for yourself. Look at the ways you have stomped or lessened yourself for the sake of someone else who doesn’t have your inner wellbeing in mind. This also includes standing up to yourself; when your mind tries to enable unhealthy habits you can say no! Even though it won’t necessarily be easy, this is what may help you escape feeling frazzled or tormented. But instead of escaping, you’ll be actually working through it. Your oracle cards are suggesting you may also cling onto past ideals. For example, you may hold onto people you’ve known for a long time even though you no longer have a healthy relationship. Instead of biting your tongue just to keep things the same, say what’s on your mind! If the relationship relies on you never being truthful or authentic, then it’s just a relationship between the other person and the persona you created, not you and them. If you do struggle with dissociation or mental health, I encourage you to see what mental health resources are accessible to you! Good luck pile one, I know you can do it :]

Extra Details: partying or outings as a coping mechanism, using humor to avoid looking hurt, addictive coping (I’m not really getting substances, just unhealthy habits), doesn’t vent to others (maybe you used to but stopped), laughing or smiling when you’re angry (also angry crying), hiding a big temper, always distracting yourself, very heavy nostalgia, not liking the person you’ve grown up to be. You might collect, want to collect, or make little trinkets, like charms? Some of you read tea leaves or charm cast. Ending relationships, trying to remain lighthearted, people changing beyond recognition, living near the woods or forest. A really fast moving relationship (or new business?). Some of you guys might feel like a token friend or partner. People pleasing (specifically by not defending yourself or showing your real personality). Holding on to a long gone past

☽

Pile 2: 

Cards: The Moon, the High Priestess, 4 of hearts rx, Maturity, Consciousness, Compromise, Past Lives (the Moon again!), Sharing (Queen of Action), 9 of cups, Choices

The Message: hi pile two!! I love you guys�� energy, it was so refreshing and sweet 🥰 You have recently gone through a major inner transformation! This feels like a spiritual awakening, but it might also be mental and emotional. Either way, you went into this period of turning internally to find answers in yourself, and this triggered something that feels like a breath of fresh air in you? You could’ve felt like you were living inauthentically before, and now it’s like you “remembered” who you are. There’s this new, inner spring of energy, joy, or creativity, I can even feel it energetically. You’re a breath of fresh air to those around you too. The Moon in your reading (you got it twice!) is speaking about your newfound knowledge. For the spiritual folks, this seems to represent an upgrade in intuition. If you’re not spiritual, you might just “know” yourself better. You’re looking at the world in a new way now that you’ve “found” yourself, but I feel there’s a decision making you feel stuck. You’ve been trying to compromise yourself or put off these choices, but your cards are clearly showing you know what must be done (with the high priestess and the four of hearts rx). For a lot of you, you’ve changed to the point you can no longer comfortably associate with the same people or environments, but you’ve been trying to hold on. You might be trying to not appear too different or strange. Some of you want to pursue spirituality more but have been unsure. Whatever your individual situation is, The Moon and the “compromise” card are asking you to be true to this version of yourself you’ve discovered. Like the High Priestess, this pile “sees through” the veil or illusions of The Moon now. A new external change is waiting to match your internal one; you’re called to act accordingly with the knowledge you’ve learned about yourself.

Extra Details (these have a lot of spiritual beliefs in them so if that is not for you or makes you confused, just skip!): lemonade (pink)?, really liking the color pink or having a pink room, or liking a soft aesthetic. Seeing 6, 266, or 18 a lot. Wanting to start a business or social media page, especially a spiritual one. Accepting your gender identity or yourself in general. New beliefs or belief system. There’s a lot of clairaudience, clairvoyance, and insightful dreams in this pile. You may have or be returning to a belief in reincarnation, or feel like you’ve discovered a past life memory. Some feel like you shared that life with one person in particular from your present? A few feel like you were royal in a past life, but you don’t really care about that as much as you see it in a wider perspective (which is good! This is a very specific message I picked up on). You might’ve noticed an upgrade to your spiritual gifts/intuition before you went through this transformation, which could’ve freaked you out. Meditating a lot (maybe not anymore but during the “awakening”). A positive nihilism—realizing petty things don’t matter as much. Lots of self love and love in general. Calm after the storm. Some of you may be into STEM; I’m getting marine biology, and someone specifically loves shellfish 😀?? (maybe eating them too…)

☽

Pile 3: 

Cards: The Moon, The Hanged Man rx, 4 of swords, Comparison (5 of mind), Fighting (Knight of Mind), King of Swords rx, the Emperor, 5 of wands, Courage (Strength), The Lovers, Enthusiasm (Sun in Sagittarius, 9th house), Who in the World Are You?, Follow the White Rabbit

The Message: hi pile three! If you already felt drawn to pile 1 I encourage you to take a look as there’s similar themes (though yall’s energy feels a bit “lighter”). Much like that pile, your Moon card message is about the illusions you indulge in. The environments or people around you feel very chaotic or competitive, like a space that pits people against each other or promotes conflicts. This could be a workplace or internship, for example. But I feel the tension is more elevated than you’d expect in that kind of environment; it takes its toll on you and jumbles your thoughts. This pile feels disenfranchised somehow, like others coerce you into a certain position, take power away from you, or backstab you. You may close your eyes to this behavior by making excuses as to why others do this, or pretend things are better than they are. A major lesson for this pile is standing up for yourself. People pleasing can help you get through unpleasant minor interactions but shouldn’t be a way of life at the expense of yourself. It’s very emphasized that you might not feel up to the task, and this is partly because the aspect of you that’s courageous and enduring is fragmented from the rest of your identity. It’s not nonexistent, it’s just not readily acknowledged and there’s a difference. All the bravery and strength you need to show up for yourself is already there, waiting to be tapped into. You may not be used to allowing this version of yourself to exist, and that’s partly what’s causing the inner turmoil and confusion. Overcoming this challenge can open up many paths; you may find yourself feeling curious about opportunities you would've never pursued as the “old” you (possibly traveling or moving for a job? It’ll lighten your mental burden at least). When you truly accept yourself and understand there’s internal things no one can take away, then sometimes no words are needed. Your energy and actions will speak for themselves, even if others refuse to understand.

Extra Details: likes cartoons and anime a lot, spent a lot of your life on the internet—especially preteen + teen years, and especially tumblr and vine (this is more directed at millennials and older gen-z where this doesn’t automatically apply to everybody lol). Tiktok or internet humor, glasses with thick frames, indecisiveness. Some of you could’ve worked at a haunted house or a Halloween fair/amusement park? Or gone to a fun Halloween party. Could’ve also worked at a water park. Your job could be very rigorous or leave you physically and mentally exhausted (some of you are baristas?); you might work with or near water. Some of you are in a very passionate relationship and taking back power over your life will positively benefit it. Funnily, when I was pulling my oracle words for you guys, “the moon” came out (again) and also the word “fruit.”—if you get too caught up in facades and masks, you become oblivious to potential blessings there for your “authentic” self only. Or literally some of you like to eat fruit outside during night time lol. May like to analyze dreams for messages. May have an “if I don’t pay attention it can’t hurt me” mindset

Pile 4: 

Cards: The Moon, Impossible Things, Law is not Justice rx, Nature Communication, Postponement (4 of mind), Adventure (page of rainbows), Intuition (Mercury in Cancer, 4th house), Loss (Saturn in Pisces, 12th house), 4 of hearts rx

The Message: hello pile four! Some of you may have felt drawn to pile 2 as there’s a few similar details. The message the Moon wants to give you today is more of a reminder than anything. I see a change in your approach to life. Some of you could have had very black and white thinking about the universe and spirituality before, or you might have felt like the universe was out to get you. Now, it seems you’ve shed this type of thinking, either by taking a more neutral/positive stance towards the universe or by trusting your intuition to navigate life’s challenges. I see many of you pray, ask for signs, or look for the answers to your questions in nature. Some of you meditate for clarity about questions. There’s a significance about working together with another force to get things done (whether this is your outer and inner self, higher vs regular self, conscious and subconscious, you + the universe or God, etc). Many of you are not used to approaching life in this way, and previous self-sabotaging or overly-hesitant tendencies are carrying over. You may feel stuck on what you’re leaving behind, but for most of you it seems these things already ended. For example, some of you are nostalgic about relationships, but it seems you already don’t talk to these people anymore or you’re not on good terms. Or, someone passed away and you’re torn between staying in the environment that included them versus moving to new things. You’re being reminded to both trust yourself and also not get caught in a web of your own thoughts. Have you nurtured the childlike curiosity and wonder that’s trying to work its way out of you, or have you only been focused on some kind of perfect planning? Overthinking the “destination” can become a procrastination technique. The journey is also important as that’s where your growth occurs. You don’t have to keep thinking or asking for a thousand signs until you arrive at a perfect answer [never]; know you can handle the imperfect, too. 

Extra Details: a long-term relationship that ended a while ago (a divorce for some), lots of manifestors, witches, and channelers in this pile, atheist or former atheist, not having any friends or close relationships right now (possibly because of new beliefs), feeling lonely or hesitant due to lack of support, LOTS of painters or visual artists here (this could be what you’re hesitant to pursue?), a very specific message I’m getting is someone could have lost the ability to make art for a while (because of health or loss of materials?), going on new medication or considering it, game design, meeting people in games/mmos/on twitch, leaving a job (especially because of the people or drama), temporary jobs, working with a crush or friend, remote work (some of you could be digital nomads or wanting that lifestyle?), very dark hair, makeup artist, beauty school, working at a hair salon, visiting your friends’ job, art or beauty as a coping mechanism

☽

[andreas-river]

NIKTO HEADCANONS (but realistic)

TW: sexual themes, acute dissociative disorder mentioned, this man has definitely been through a lot.

A/N: I don't think I need to say this, but these headcanons are strictly from my perspective. Like many other people here, I enjoy writing for this character, and I have a lot of projects for the future. Anyway, y'all enjoy!

→ He loves cup noodles. He gives the vibes of eating them because they are quick to make and saves him a lot of time. But he’s skilled in the kitchen. Dmitry once founded him cooking in the kitchen’s base in the middle of the night. A glance from him was enough for Dmitry to turn around and walk away with another secret to hide.

→ He’s friendly only in private and only with his team, and obviously Sputnik. He feels comfortable around them, and he laughs only with them. He doesn’t hang out though. He doesn’t like public spaces at all.

→ Diagnosed with Acute dissociative disorder which may include symptoms of other dissociative disorders including dissociative identity disorder (source). This means that he experienced episodes where he dissociated, but since it’s acute, he had short but severe episodes (no, he’s not out of his mind). In my opinion, he doesn’t take any meds, or he would be discharged from the service. But he probably has periodic sessions with a therapist.

→ Possessing a hyena pet helped him find some balance in his life. For him, it’s like having a common dog, it doesn’t make any difference for him. He always finds it amusing when he uses him to scare Rodion, making him scream like a teenager. That’s how he discovered that Rodion doesn’t like anything that resembles a dog, even if Sputnik is a hyena. And he obviously uses this knowledge to his advantage.

→ He is neither hyposexual nor hypersexual (no, he’s not a pervert either). He actually has a normal relationship with sex and all the things that comes with. He doesn’t like sex without feelings. But if it needs it, he definitely jerks off at night.

→ He prioritize trust above everything, if he’s interested in someone. It will probably take him months to trust someone. Definitely a lot of trust issues, he’s really careful when he meet someone new.

→ Definitely not a religious person. He went through so much in his life that he’s more of a ‘realist’ person. He doesn’t think that there is a god, at all.

→ With the right person, he can be very protective: he has the ‘scary dog privilege’, and no one would definitely mess around with a masked big guy all dressed in black (most of the times).

→ He’s a reserved person and he appreciate the silence, especially if someone respect his own silence. Conversations with him can lead to a whole bunch of different topics at a deep level, and he loves when someone actually understand what he’s saying. He has a lot of knowledge and he used to read a lot of books, especially when he was a teen, and even more growing up and when he was recovering from his trauma. He still reads, and when he isn’t going to be deployed in a short time, he reads a lot during the night.

→ His trauma led him to a lot of insomnia, and a lot of nightmares when he actually manage to fall asleep. So, he usually goes for a walk, or he goes training, trying to take his mind off things.

→ Panic attacks are an occurrence, but he learned to acknowledge the symptoms even before it happens. He usually walks back to his room, finding the silence the thing that calms him the most. When he can’t go back to his room, the rest of the team usually has his back, and always managing to work something out. Every time they find a different solution, and that’s what helps him.

→ No one knows his past (and maybe it's better this way). Only Kamarov knows that he had to endure some bad shit back when he was a teenager. I can imagine living his years with her babushka before enlisting in the military. He doesn’t care about his parents since he lived in a toxic environment. Definitely doesn’t talk about it at all.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

(i kept forgetting to make this post for a while and only remembered when i was reading @antispopausandstuff 's recent post; sorry for the tag!)

i have to say this: catra having a mental breakdown basically every single season was pathetic.

usually villains have a third-act breakdown where they realize that they're losing to the heroes or they're losing control over their own allies, and they spiral into anger and desperation.

azula's spiralling in s3 of atla is a clear example of this, as she goes from the level-headed, cunning prodigy to a child who has lost everyone in her life and is desperately trying to use fear to keep people around. it's tragic because yes, she's a horrible person who enjoys torturing people and seeing them in pain, but she's also a 13 year old who was groomed into the perfect soldier by her father.

not all third-act breakdowns are like this though. sometimes instead of feeling bad for the villain, we feel satisfied seeing their downfall, because they weren't a sympathetic character in the slightest and they deserved to have that realization right before getting their ass whooped.

with catra, i get neither of these. i guess i felt a little bad for her the first time and i felt satisfied the second time, but then it just got boring.

there was no need for her to have a meltdown in every single season, only for the writers to use it as an excuse to make catra do even worse shit and hurt more people.

not to mention, her mental state wasn't consistent enough during these breakdowns. let me explain. let's take the s3 one, for instance.

catra is clearly rattled by the knowledge that shadow weaver picked adora over her (which.. wow who would have thought. but whatever). she is dissociating as she walks back to scorpia, there are tears in her eyes, she's devastated.

but then, as soon as catra reaches the horde with adora as her prisoner, she seems perfectly fine. she's calm and smirking proudly as she throws a bound adora to the floor.

and then when entrapta tries to oppose catra's attempts at opening the portal, oh no! catra is not mentally well again and she electrocutes entrapta. and she threatens to do the same to scorpia.

and then she goes right back to being calm and tells hordak that entrapta betrayed him (i'm sorry i don't care how good at lying someone is, i doubt they can deliver such a convincing lie when they are in a poor mental state) and mocks him for trusting entrapta.

and then throughout the portal sequence, catra is oddly calm. not just during the false reality, when she was pretending that everything was normal, but even after that when she starts sadistically torturing adora.

this doesn't seem like a character who finally snapped and is doing horrible things in a desperate attempt to regain control. it reads as a character who always wanted to do horrible things and finally got the chance to do it.

i can't view catra's breakdown in s3 as sympathetic because her actions seemed so intentional. the writers didn't even try to make it look like catra was going through some serious mental health issues and was only making such a dangerous choice because of that.

coming back to my original point, repeating a trope (especially a one-time trope like this) quickly gets stale. and it's even funnier when you think about the fact that catra basically had a dedicated mental breakdown every season and still didn't learn her lesson.

you stop feeling sorry for her and start rolling your eyes, wondering what atrocities she's going to commit this time. it's just the same thing over and over again, and it's funny that the writers used this as a way to keep reminding viewers that catra is a poor traumatized baby who definitely didn't make the choices that led to all this.

it's just bad writing. sure, in real life, people may have multiple breakdowns if they going through some shit. i can certainly attest. but it just doesn't work from a story point of view, especially when the writers refuse to hold catra accountable for your actions. mental health issues or not, you are responsible for your actions and you should work on changing your unhealthy coping mechanisms.

[noitkot1]

CW: Dissociation, Body Horror, Lucid Dreaming, Derealization, generally losing control of your body(please tell me if I missed any, thank you!)

An AU where the MTT + Cross are all trapped within a nightmare, created in part by Pass!NM in a desperate attempt to create a loving, nurturing family, then Corrupted in an effort to survive. All of them aren't in control of themselves, only able l to watch and listen as their bodies move and speak without input from themselves. Someone else is in the drivers seat and the gang is sat in the back, forced to watch as the bad, bad driver continue down the road.

They know this is wrong. Killer being overly emotional, Horror endlessly cooking, Dust talking, and Cross being a big ol' baby. Nothing about this is normal. Especially not the little kid running around.

In the real world they actually lowkey only tolerate each other. Every single one too afraid of Nightmare to try anything in particular. With Killer having been recently replaced and all, it wouldn't bode well to try and cause conflict. But tldr; they have bare minimum tolerance for each other and new Killer is still a complete, negative bubbling mess trying to get their head together. They have basic respect. That does not entail having movie nights or cuddle piles(DEFINITELY not cuddle piles. Eugh Dust barely got enough control of his wheel to escape that night).

Regardless, they can all tell this dream they're in isn't real. Waving to each other each morning with a smile isn't them. And now its up to the four to break free from Nightmare's control and escape from whatever hellish alternative nightmare this is.

Teehee Dream doing enough damage to Nightmare to cause his form to start falling down and, desperately trying to survive, pulling his four subordinates into a horrific nightmare(being a loving family). Making little Passive happy too is key to his survival. Imagine Passive and whatever magic corrupt used is pretty much all Corrupt had left. So now its a tale of making Passive happy, making him eager for the future, and by proxy Corrupt's life. Then Corrupt absorbing all the negative feelings of his subordinates tied like puppet strings. Only ever planning to release them once he's recovered enough to retain his usual physical form. That is.. if they make it to that point.

Imagine that through how much energy Corrupted is draining from his gang they physically cannot keep up with the demand. Corrupted is slowly draining their souls away, taking piece by piece of all the Negativity out. They can only watch as Passive cries and is asking why one of them is dying and want nothing more than to turn away, only able to feel the core of happiness left inside them. They're on a clock to try and escape from this paradise.

Oh and pass!NM being the eldritch horror of this dream. Hes nigh unpredictable. Whatever he says goes. Reading a book to bed, hugs, long, exhausting talks. Anything he wants WILL happen. It doesn't matter how much resistant one has developed. He randomly appears in places, as if theres teleportation. The rooms he's in are always brighter and the shadows hug him tightly.

They are definitely stuck in an world with a little, sad kid with hundreds of issues which they cannot upset at all giggle

[thescreamcorner]

Sometimes it's really really concerning how much anti-psychiatry and anti-recovery rhetoric exists-- and for once I'm not just talking about endos, but even within the OSDDID internetsphere, especially in actively pro self dx circles. It's not to say that you can't or shouldn't work on things away from a healthcare team, but with chronic and intensely debilitating disorders it is rare, if not impossible to fully be "fine" without help.

Like. If you're experiencing dissociative amnesia or memory/identity issues in general (even when caused by things as innocuously treated online like ADHD if it's at a debilitating level), you NEED someone who isn't affected by those things in order to have a sense of grounding and heal. And it's vital for that to be someone who has a baseline understanding of how dissociative disorders work.

My caseworker calls are sometimes the only thing giving me any sense of the passage of time, and she remembers things during calls that I completely forget or dissociate through. Not even my partner can consistently provide this because of her time blindness, vs the professional who reaches out, doesn't have a disorder affecting her memory, and takes notes during our calls.

My therapy visits, as infrequent as they've been lately, are some of the only reason why we've made progress toward one of our alters no longer making contact with our abusers when she fronts, and that fight isn't over yet. My partner can't stop her from doing it-- she'll wait until they're asleep. They also don't have the resources or bandwidth to address with her why doing this is bad, and if they intervene incorrectly it increases the chance that one day I wake up in another state.

I get from firsthand experience that healthcare, especially in the US, is notoriously inaccessible, and in some places the facilities available are full of inexperienced, incompassionate tools who don't care about their patients. But instead of using that as an excuse to stop trying, instead of pushing others into not seeking care and not trusting doctors, that needs to get channeled into finding and providing resources.

Many states have government funded healthcare available for those below the poverty line. Many facilities offer payment scaling plans even without insurance. A fair amount of insurance companies that "don't cover this" will make exceptions if you go through other channels and get professional referrals. It's not easy, it's not always free, and it's not fast. For those underage, it may be awhile before you can legally access it.

But for the love of all that is sacred on this burning planet, do NOT discourage trauma survivors from trying to get psychiatric help over the potential of a bad experience or a bad doctor. You are not helping people heal and learn to love themselves. You are creating paranoia and enforcing a regressive mentality that can prevent someone from reaching out before its too late.