#especially the asshole who doxxed me last year

[tra-archive]

Wait we can sue people for cyberbullying now? Oh every radfem on here is about to be rich af

[coolbeesbro]

So I set up my new stuff on Etsy hoping I'll have better luck there and biting the bullet on listing fees, and already I've had 2 scammers in my inbox that start off making it sound like I just got a sale.

This is just 1 since I didn't think to screenshot the other before I marked it as spam, but that's just downright cruel. Taking advantage of someone who you can see hasn't made any sales, especially right now, takes a special kind of evil.

Although this goes without saying, just in case this is a PSA to others that sell on Etsy, do not follow any link or type any URL's that they ask you to.

Taking this opportunity to point this out (I didn't pick up on these parts before until I saw a video on TokTok) notice how they ask me to type in COM and not .com? It's usually small things like this that trick people into trusting it, because it look similar enough to be legitimate that some people (myself included at one time) won't think twice about it. Likely, this link would lead to somebody hacking into your device or account to steal information such as credit card and banking info that you might have attached or saved. The scary thing is, you may not even know you have one right away.

This also applies to other phishing scams, mainly pertaining to PayPal (I've gotten these emails many times). They (the hacker and not PayPal) send you a message that looks just plausible enough to trick somebody into thinking you just made a purchase, won't give any form of specification, and will have an attached PDF "receipt" that they ask you to click on. This usually tricks people into doing so because you think, "Hey, I didn't make any purchases with PayPal, what was ordered?" you click on it then BAM they can get into your system. I unfortunately did this myself once and my phone slowly stopped working over the course of a year, I started getting a lot of texts trying to get me to follow suspicious links, calls from the "FBI" and "IRS", and I had to change the passwords to all my accounts because the person even tried hacking into my actual PayPal account. My phone would get absurdly hot, and the full battery would last 4 hours at best.

Never click on a PDF document from any sketchy emails, because a virus can and will infect your device (computers and phones) by hiding malicious code in it. These forms of attack are usually in the form of spyware to track what you do on that device and collect your private information so the hacker can commit fraud or identity theft. It could also download ransomware and lock you out of your device unless you pay them, and also threaten to leak private information (some of which being outing someone LGBT+, leaking nudes, and doxing) to scare you into giving them what they want.

There's a way you can always tell if it's a scammer, and that's by checking the actual email. PayPal emails are always going to be one of these two: service@paypal.com or member@paypal.com. If you cant remember making a payment and get an email from one of these, it can still be a scammer that can change 1 or 2 letters subtly. For example: Service@paypal.com, member@PayPal.com. If you have any suspicions, just go straight to your PayPal account and check for any bills/receipts there. If you don't seen anything, it's best to report those emails to PayPal directly so they can either verify it as one of theirs (it won't be if it differs at all from the two I showed) and work towards flagging and taking it down for others later down the line who may be tricked.

Anyways, this has just been a PSA since something good can come from the asshole who sent me this message. Hope this can help at least 1 person.

[britts-galaxy-brain]

Asking as someone who sincerely despises her - just to clarify, in case my tone comes off as accusatory. Would you still run this blog if Lily was only a small nobody? Do you think it's important to get word out on her behaviour regardless of her fanbase size, or is it especially important given how impressionable they are? Again - I'm genuinely not asking to be an asshole - but what's your main goal? Please also note that not for a second am I denying that she was a genuinely abusive and I can't begin to imagine the toll that being polite to a horror like her would've been. Once more, I'm asking out of a sincere interest of how I might be able to assist as the situation goes forward

I don't mind this question. I've stated my reasons before but it's been a long time.

If Lily didn't have a following, or had a tiny one, I wouldn't be talking about her. If I had been the only person she'd abused, I wouldn't be talking about her. I stayed away from her for two years after our falling out. It wasn't until Josh Scorcher made his video about her that I realized she was treating other people the way she'd treated me. I thought she would've grown out of a lot of the crap she pulls, but she never did.

I felt I had a responsibility to share the evidence I had. A lot of Lily's more egregious behavior was just rumors. The beastiality, the pedophilia outside of just Stockholm, and Tara Callie specifically. I was the only person that had chat logs with the Tara Callie account and chat logs from Lily when she was more open about her darker fetishes and paraphilias. Since it was clear she hadn't changed and now had a large following of minors and other vulnerable people, I couldn't sit on that information.

If she was just some rando causing havoc in her own neighborhood, if she didn't have a large following of minors, or if she'd made an effort to better herself after we stopped talking, I wouldn't be here. I even tried desperately to appeal to her humanity when I first started sharing my side of things, and she responded by doxxing my legal last name, accusing me of abusing her, and retconning our entire five year friendship.

She has no humanity to appeal to. She's selfish, controlling, manipulative, and dangerous. There is no low she won't sink to. The fact that she has a relatively large following worries me. If I can help prevent people from falling into her grip, especially minors, I'm going to until she loses her influence.

[aqg-arts]

So how's the campaign for helping people who would rape and behead you? And how is it knowing you took the side of a rapist and his screenshots.

Oh and you spelled his name wrong btw. You better show the screenshots to your discord AQG. Or I'll do it for you.

You never cared about him, I saw the "It's not my business" I guess you were never his friend because your true friends are the queers who talk to 14 year old boys who trans them. Pretty sad but hey that says more about you since you didn't care about what Faber did.

So, you're threatening to dox me? Well, we can share the screenshots on here, I'm more than happy to, but that's up to you :)

Oh, and thanks for letting me live in your head rent free, it's nice to know someone is going through the effort of getting me UwU.

Alrighty, let's go over this shit I order, hm?

Yes. I am fighting for the Palestinians. No, they wouldn't rape and behead me, but keep dreaming, asshole.

Also, go for! Truth be told, I don't even know what screenshots you're on about (i have a lot cas of all the types of assholes I've ran into), so you will have to elaborate on the specifics. Do you want the ones of mine and Lucky's last convo? Chat's with his burner? Literally, you need to tell me, I suck at guessing games, so I'm more than happy to go over it in dms.

I want to help you, babes, so come on! Let's not go public with our affairs, you flirt ;)

Also, I did care for him. We were mates for 3 or so years. I tried to help him, I loved him like a brother, and he did this shit. He hurt a lot of people, me included. It broke my heart when I found out what he did. I could go into detail, but someone else (x2) already knows about my anguish (hint, it's probably you, Lucky).

Look, if he's dead, as I've stated, I'm sorry for his family's loss. However, if he's alive, it's not my problem anymore.

Truth be told, I've moved on as best I can. I made my peace, you should too. Because your goal, whatever it may be, doesn't have anything to do with me. I didn't go out and say he was a pedo, I just told him never to talk to me again. I never told him to do stupid shit, I just blocked him and told him never to talk to me again.

Finally, I don't even know who you're referencing in the last line, but I will say this:

You can't 'Trans' kids, you dense cabbage.

Sincerely,

Go fuck yourself, you pussy-ass bitch.

Edit:

Oh, I forgot to add; I did care about what Faber did. They went after people I cared about, as well as minors. If I could have said something about them, I would have, but it wasn't my place to do so, especially because I was asked (not told) not to.

Once again, go fuck yourself:)

[the-lewd-dungeon]

So I run a pretty large server for my NSFW dnd stuff, with a massive open RP environment, and just a ton of wonderful people. And dear lords is this true! Like, Holy shit is it a full time job for multiple fucking people just for us to keep the community functioning well. Like, it's a great and welcoming, and frankly wholesome community - especially considering the focus - but people will inevitably have conflicts and disagreements. rules will inevitably have to change, and people will inevitably fail to communicate in ways that can lead to so much drama and stress. We have more than 25 staff to handle a server of roughly 1,000, and it can still very very touch and go to keep up with everything we want to provide. But with that said, it's also 200% worth it. We have seen so many people make friends, meet their S/O, or just generally discover themselves in our community. We have come together to help pay for flights when members were going to be deported. We have helped budding new members of the LGBTQ community understand and accept themselves. We have opened up entire new career paths for some of our members, all over the world. And I know a lot of people, myself included, who would likely not be here today if not for the community we have nurtured and helped grow. I am especially thankful, because that same community has helped keep me fed and housed for the past year after I lost my fulltime job. So when people ask me why I put so many hundreds of hours into the community, or why I spent the past 3 years of my life writing a NSFW handbook for a tabletop game... thats why. It's my gift to the community, and my way of paying back all of the wonderful support that community has given me, and so many others. As an addendum, though: As the person in charge of such a wonderful NSFW server: Age Verification is fucking crucial in adult spaces. Do it safely, do it respectfully. don't ask for anything beyond what you absolutely need, and provide as many options for verification as possible. But age verification matters! We use a secure, internationally certified, 3rd party app (It's called YOTI) to handle verification whenever possible (some people still prefer photo or video verification with a blacked out ID), because discord is anything but a secure platform, and the last thing we want is for someone to dox themselves or risk their personal information to get into our sever. But My Brother lost his job, his home, and his chances at a life or career because some asshole kid on a discord server decided to lie about their age. Be safe. Be careful. Don't hand out or request shit you don't need. but if you are running an adult community... You put every member of that community at risk by not having verification. That little checkbox in discord, or the reaction role on your rules page **Does not** hold up in court.

it's kinda fun joining new discords and watching in realtime as people realise that building communities and spaces that people actively want to be in is actually pretty hard work.

Connections and friendships and long term stability require like effort and thought and upkeep.

People always underestimate it, I think because of the 'school' effect where you just end up being friends with the people near you and it's really easy-- And only later on learning the skills it takes to continuously take on new connections and upkeep them without being in the same space.

Groups like a discord can become self sustaining but there's actually a lot of factors at play to make it a healthy community...

It takes a lot more than having a long list of rules and being active with a ban hammer. You need like... traditions and welcoming/onboarding and deliniated spaces that are fit for purpose and good VIBES and just a bunch of things that can't be fabricated and have to grow over time.

[whumpster-fire]

A Curated Selection of Tweets from Dread Lord K'thyzyxathrax The Soul Flayer's account @KthyzyxathraXXX

Dread Lord K'thyzyxathrax the Soul Flayer is an evil overlord, accomplished lich king, and one of the most dangerous necromancers in the world. He is also terrible at using Twitter. These are some of his recent misadventures.

CW for dark humor, satire, genocide references, animal death,

The Sans Undertale Incident

I fucking hate all you people trying to "destigmatize" skeletons but especially Toby Fox. People dont even think a walking skeleton is scary anymore. Fuck off its a dead guy walking around with no muscles or tendons. This is an abomination against Gods and nature.

~~

I'm trying to strike terror into the populace here and you are making my job way harder. I'm not saying challenge doesnt breed innovation, wait til you see the shit I have in my dungeon rn, just sayin if I hear one more Sans Undertale joke some of you are gonna have a bad time

~~

Curator's note: replies omitted but you can imagine what they were like

Motherfucker. He says that? How the fuck was I supposed to know, I don't play your stupid preschooler video game about being nice to people.

~~

Shut up all of you. I am not your funny video game skeleton teenager. Power Word: BLOCKED

~~

The next motherfucker who remixes my ominous entrance music with Megalovania will be slowly flayed alive over a hundred year period, and also sued for copyright infringement.

The Mortuary Supply Drama

Since Charnel Chuck's Mortuary Supply Co. has refused to lift my "lifetime ban" on the grounds that they only approve of necromancy for "peaceful purposes" and with the "consent" of those whose remains are being used and have deleted my 1 star Yelp reviews (1/3)

(2/3) I have no choice but to take my grievance to Twitter. Your "code of ethics" is completely discriminatory against my desire to use undead to murder people. Go fuck yourselves. Your business is shit and even if you lift my ban I will never patronize your establishment (2/3)

(3/3) again after the way I have been treated. Your customer service is appalling. And another thing, any "lifetime" ban on me should have expired like a thousand years ago so double fuck you. @CharnelChucks www.CharnelChucksMortuary.com follower horde ratio them. Get their asses

Curator's Note: A followup tweet also posted the address of the business in question. This has not been reproduced due to our policy against doxxing, although it is available on their website.

(4/4) fuck I didn't add enough parts. Your products are also shoddy and overpriced and your storefront is inappropriately brightly lit for your industry. I hope your vampire customers sue you for using fluorescent lights.

(5/4) @CharnelChucks unblock me you fucking cowards. I saw that fucking statement you made disavowing all association with me, and you have no room to talk shit. You still sell products over Amazon.com after the scandal over them staffing their warehouses with (5/4)

(6/4) reanimated corpses of employees who said the word "Union" on the messenger app. Y'all can't take a stand for "respecting wishes of the deceased" and "ethical necromancy" while picking and choosing which evil overlords you work with. Also you refused to honor (6/4)

(7/4) your buy-2-get-1-free sale on crematory urns on my order of 600 urns. There was nothing on your sign about a 3-urn maximum. You assholes owe me $79,999.76. I'm opening my grimoire right now and looking up Power Word: Go Fuck Yourself

The Washington Monument Restoration

To everyone tagging me while they watched the evening news last night:

1: I didn't do it, that was my friend @CardinalCarnage

2: I wish I'd thought of it first, that was fucking hilarious, and I'm impressed with him for getting two 50' solid marble orbs onto the National Mall

~~

3: The Washington Monument was supposed to have balls and a glans in the original plans, but the confederates got custody of the balls in the civil war and at the time an aluminum cap of that size was too expensive so it was downsized.

~~

So actually it's a restoration not a defacement.

4: If you want to see what defacing a monument looks like it wait 'til you see Mt Rushmore

~~

I didnt fucking do anything to Mt Rushmore you idiots, they literally carved it into a sacred mountain just to be dicks to Native Americans. Fucking mortals. But hey thanks for the idea

~~

As an evil overlord I think carving your face into the monument of a people you conquered and oppressed is a pretty swag move but doing dead guys' faces instead of your own is just sad.

~~

I was thinking about re-carving all the major statues into my own face when I take over America but since I'm skeletal people will probably just think it's the same guys except accurately depicting how they look now since they're dead. But then again thats also a power move so still considering it

~~

Retweeted from @CardinalCarnage:

No, I only did the Monument, @KthyzyxathraXXX deserves full credit for filling the Reflecting Pool with blood. Nice job bro, my cultists think it's really cool and so do the boys in Hell

Thanks. Turns out it takes a lot of people to fill that with blood. Really wish there was more of it per body, had to keep healing the sacrifices because I didn't bring enough.

Vulture Culture, The Migratory Bird Treaty Act, and Cincinnati

Really loving the Vulture Culture pinterest boards for inspiration when making new unholy abominations. Newbie necromancers take note: don't limit yourself to using human remains, you will stifle your creativity.

~~

Been making so many "pets" lately I'm actually running out of space, so I'm adopting some of them out. I made this little fella from roadkill on I-64. He's free to a good home. I am not responsible for odor or leakage of putrefying bodily fluids onto your carpet.

~~

Replying to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:

Yes those are crow skulls. Nicely spotted!

~~

Replying to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:

I didn't sign any goddamn migratory bird treaty.

~~

Replying to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:

Fine, I removed and destroyed all the bird parts. JFC tell your followers to cool their jets. I cant believe I found a government body more annoying than the IRS

~~

Tweet made at the US Fish and Wildlife Service

Come get your game wardens. Sorry not sorry but they wandered into my labyrinth of terror and fell in a spike pit. You have 1 week to recover their bodies or I'm using them.

~~

Replying to OSHA:

Don't you fucking start. It's a dungeon it's supposed to be full of deadly booby traps. If you tell me I'm supposed to have railings on a spike pit I installed with the express purpose of people falling in it and dying you'll be first to go when I conquer this wretched land

~~

Replying to OSHA:

No I'm not fucking removing them. Shove a traffic cone up your asses. No weight that's the DOT's thing. What do you even do again?

~~

Really disappointed in the lack of adoption offers. How can you resist a face like this? Yeah the flesh is peeling off. I think the kids today call that Skrungly.

~~

Man this hobby is really addictive. Fuck I'm supposed to be raising armies and pillaging cities but I just spent the last 4 hours sewing a dozen raccoon arms to a dead coyote's neck.

~~

NVM I gave it a petrifying bite and a chain reanimation spell so killing two birds with one stone. Might also transmit rabies. Oh this is gonna be FUN. USFWS don't @ me because I said "killing two birds"

~~

I meant P U T R E F Y I N G bite. Fucking autocorrect. Petrifying bite and chain reanimation would be useless.

~~

Check this out. This buck's antlers carry a whole rack of Multiple Indepently Maneuvering Possums.

~~

Really Autocorrect? You correct Petrifying but let Indepently slide? Whatever. Anyway got a pretty good army going after all. Those possums are MEAN. City of Cincinnati pray to your impotent Gods because I'm coming for you. That'll teach you to lose the superbowl.

~~

Yeah, yeah, I only got as far as Covington and Newport. Fuck off, I know most of you have never invaded a metropolitan area. This was easier in medieval times when infrastructure wasn't so car dependent. 40k casualties is still a productive weekend

~~

I can cross running water just fine. I stopped south of the river on purpose because seeing the other side reminded me of how much Ohio sucks so I decided I don't want it.

~~

Okay fine. I swore a blood oath to never set foot in Ohio again after losing a hundred bucks on the superbowl this February. Exact wording was "until an Ohio team wins a Major League Sports championship" so in practice never.

~~

Catapulting diseased corpses across the river is fair game. Have fun with that.

~~

@CardinalCarnage appreciate the offer but seriously don't worry about it, that city sucks anyway. Just gonna let it go, pretty sure making "Ohio" no longer exist as a political entity cancels the oath anyway so shouldn't be too long even if their teams keep sucking ass

[dirtytransmasc]

@butchpedia

I want to respond to this, because I think it's important.

before we even begin, my post was not just about what happened on AO3, it was the straw that made the camel say something, so to speak. I wasn't targeting no one, I was making a general announcement to the Steddie fandom.

now, I have recently found out my wording was wrong, it wasn't AO3 themselves, it was a moderator. that was my mistake, but it still stands for something.

secondly, this was not blown out of proportion, please consider we are handling an archive here, filling it with empty fics destroys the purpose of an archive. there were quite a few, some blatantly stating they were placeholder fics for the purpose of raising Steddie numbers. these fics were being made by people who were not only sure of what they were doing but they were promoting the behavior within the fics and even online. there were multiple accounts dedicated counting down the number of fics, with other accounts flocking around them to celebrate rising numbers. so yes, some docs had been made by kids who didn't know the right form wrong in this situation, but most of them were made consciously with the intent to do harm.

there were children doing this, but here's the thing, we are watching s fandom be torn apart, and fuck me for not wanting it to become nuclear war zone in the next couple months. children, especially from behind a faceless screen, can cause damage to any space, but very easily to a fandom space. they don't get off scot free for being kids. not everyone has the patience for dealing with children, and I know that in the keg gang fandom all we've done in response was make general untargeted posts. so I don't know who's doing the bullying but it wasn't us.

dealing with this now, while its small, is so important, cause this is how the downfall of a fandom that starts. people having no respect for the people around them, abandoning any form of fandom/Tumblr/AO3 etiquette, and creating spaces with so much infighting that it gets abandoned by people who may have enjoyed the space had it not be made of chaos, that's when a problem begins to fester. we have enough problems with the regular fanbase leaking into fandom and then being assholes to everyone. mitigating damage is the best thing we can do right now.

I don't think the Steddie fandom and the keg gang fandom need to see eye to eye, but we need to come to some sort of resolution. Because our archive is getting fucked up over numbers, a reign needs to be pulled on the Steddie side cause from what I've seen y'all are gonna burn out with all the infighting and slander. I mean Steddie Shippers are actively seek out anyone from the keg gang fandom and leaving slander in their replies/asks/reposts completely unprovoked. they go out of their way for this shit. do you not see the issue with that.

any good fandom has a foundation of respect and some structure of etiquette. no one has to like each other, they don't even have to pretend to like each other, but they have to respect each other within the means of the etiquette, it's the job of the older and more mature of a fandom to uphold said etiquette.

fandoms are like ecosystems, they have to have balance. that balance is upheld by weeding out bad behavior (acting a fool in an archive, slander, doxxing, death/harm/r*pe threats, etc.). it's not pretty, but it has to be done or we're gonna end up like every dead fandom.

that's why I made that post, and I was angry when I made it, but pretty rightfully so. for the last couple years I (and many others) have been bullied, harassed, and subject to blatantly incorrect assumptions because I like and enjoy a certain character (Billy) and the characters/ships he's associated with. this is just another round, and sorry I don't have a lot of sympathy or patience, cause we've been pretty quiet and resilient for years. we've (as a sub fandom) just rolled with the punches, taken what people said about us, and just moved on. but it gets pretty fucking tiring, and this is a lot of our breaking points. breaking point being a very loose term for the situation cause none of us really broke, we've just decided to say no more, we didn't snap and we aren't waging war.

but we ask for it to stop and it's met with slander, we stand up for ourselves, we're called bullies and met with more slander. do see how that can get pretty tiring, do you see why people are making posts telling Steddie Shippers to get their shit together?

we just want people to act maturely, to not act like children over fictional characters, and for the respective fandoms to manage the actual children in their spaces, because children have to act accordingly in fandom. it's always been this way and we've seen what happens over and over again when etiquette is ditched.

we don't want a war, actually we're against a war that is actively being thrust upon us against our will. we don't want to participate, but when we speak out against it, we're seen as assholes bullying children. we're frustrated and have been doing our best.

I'll even say, I'm a lot more stressed out then some of my mutuals or other fandom members, so take what I say as an individual with a grain of salt, but getting stress out and defending myself and my space is what I'm good at, so I'm not going to shut up. cause I want to be able to stay in this fandom, I love it here, I just want it to survive to see season 5.

signed sincerely - a frustrated, but calm keg gang fan who just wants people to chill out and coexist, but just saying that makes people mad, cause apparently my existence angers people.

[jusdisslotus]

Commandore is honestly so very very very stupid. She has no reading comprehension whatsoever. Even when offered help on a silver platter, and advice for what to do, and what not to do? She instead shoots herself in the foot and calls herself a victim.

Like I cannot make this up. I've literally dealt with abusive toxic assholes who were manipulative as they were surprisedly stupid. They were not, this stupid. Commandore somehow, takes the cake, and I mean the entire cake, leaving yet but crumbs behind for ramble of a laughing stock that plagued my life.

I'm no stranger to idiots who INSISTED they knew the law and didn't. She is not a new challenge by any means.

Just holy fuck where are her brain cells???

Like even if you did take down this blog, it wouldn't make it go away. There are some people who in fact, reblogged basically the entire blog, and reblogs don't get deleted alongside the original post. And there are even ways to access the content of deleted blogs even if no one reblogs them. It would still be rather easy to find. And deleting the posts or the blog basically accomplishes NOTHING for her.

Even when told this, she doesn't understand it even after it's spelled out for her. Or when anything is spelled out for her.

It doesn't even come across like she's gaslighting, just stupid, set in her ways and so ignorant and disillusional. She's just attempting to gaslight herself if anything, or has and truly believes it.

Not only was her plan stupid for obvious reasons but also like her logic fails. She wants to dox her victim thinking this will lead the victim getting even more hurt, because she thinks people will jump for her throat and seek her out irl.

'A-chan', a person most people who know Commadore, don't know about, and those who do don't care enough about them to want to do jack shit to them. And Commadore thinks by telling this to the 'Tord 'forums'' as I'm calling his comment section, they'll be able to rely people who give a fuck?????? When most of the time it is just some passerbys with well-wishes to Tord who don't know nor care about her and people who know her and don't like her. She couldn't have picked a worse crowd to call to her aid.

Hell, even other Tord antis in the comment sections turned against her and or stopped caring about letting people know about how bad Tord was in his teenage years (I still don't understand this).

Her worst mistakes over all in reaction to and handling her call out drama

+ constantly pestering this blog

+ saying she'll leave and then not leaving

+ doxing as her first move with that infomation

+ rejecting any and all help offered to her

I'll give her some credit, she was correct in assuming she had power by having private information. However, she chose, given her situation, the worst way to go about using this 'power'. I can think of several ways to misuse this information for 'evil' that would be far more effective and wouldn't draw attention to one abusing the information. Doxing and making this information known, making it known SHES the one making information public, she's just an idiot

If I had this information and I wanted to misuse it (basically being in her shoes) doxing it publicly under a name associated with me and my real name would not be the first move. Mainly because there's no guarantee anyone would take interest in hurting her using this information but me, and would effectively be basically screaming her information into the void.

Again she's doing this publicly under her own name, a name that's been made associated with a real person behind a screen to the police. She's again, drawing attention to herself, the last thing she should want, especially since she doesn't like the negative consequences of her actions, especially the social ones as she doesn't think there are any other ones, but then again she doesn't do anything but complain and whine about it very very publicly in our faces about it. Like her best chance now is for HER to disappear as she can't make US disappear. And will never be able to be. She keeps drawing attention to herself and then complaining about the fact she has negative attention.

ALL VERY TRUE

Even when I first made this account, I stayed more levelheaded in hopes of maybe helping her see the error of her ways and her growing as a person. But that has over time been proven to be a waste of time.

Commando is a predator. She’s entitled, manipulative, combative, abusive, and quite frankly, hopeless. She keeps saying that “she’ll change” but never tries. Then when her attempts at “justice” blow up in her face, she blames everyone else. She’ll never realize she’s her own worst enemy, because she’s too prideful.

Like you said, she has been offered so many chances to change or people to confide in, yet she takes advantage of them and never uses that kindness as a reason to change herself.

[redrabbitspod]

I've been looking at the BLM tag for the past few days. I've been talking with my roommates and my boyfriend about everything that's happened. We plan on going to a protest this weekend, we're in the South. I'm scared, because one of my roommates is POC and I'm trans. I was wondering, then, if you had tips for us? My roommate has asthma, though it hasn't affected them since childhood and I bind, so a main concern is if we get hit with tear gas and struggle to breathe.

OOC: I know you probably wanted Seth or someone to answer, but I’m answering this ooc because I think it’s important. Your roommate that has asthma, I think should just consider the state of their lungs and should go to planned, organized event, and get out early. I’m in New York and I’ve been to every protest in my area dealing with BLM in the past 5 years (most in Baltimore). But I think I can speak for many downstate New Yorkers (I’m on Long Island), that most of us know someone that has had Covid. And most of us know someone who’s died. It’s no joke. Its absolutely fucking horrific and if I didn’t have asthma, putting me at a higher risk, and if the family I live with were not over the age of 65, then I would be out there, in NYC too.  But my asthma is also pretty bad, so if they haven't had problems since childhood, their lungs are probably strong. 

Now about you and binding, if you struggle to breathe, then realize that running will be a struggle as well. And running is your main asset when the protests turn. And since you are trans, know that the police may treat you differently. I’m not trying to be all doom and gloom, but this is serious and I think you all have to look at the cons as well as the immense pros in this. This has to do with your safety though. 

With all of that being said, I think going to an organized protest would be fucking amazing. Yesterday especially there were dozens of beautiful protests around the country. Most start at 11-1 o'clock and can be found on facebook. Go if you feel you are safe from the virus or can safely distance! (which i stand by is very very important to consider. But I am also a New Yorker at risk, so I have a different perspective.) 

Some tips are to keep your eyes and ears open. It only takes one instigator - may that be the police (in MANY MANY CASES) or others, always keep an eye and an ear out for people looking to turn the crowd. That is very VERY important. 

In 2015, I went to an organized protest near City Hall in Baltimore, Maryland. it was only a small group of us. Like VERY small. And after facing off with mustache asshole from Fox news, we all headed towards the inner harbor to meet with other groups of protestors from other schools. When we all met up, a woman came running and saying, ‘don’t go near the jail. it’s a trap and they’re going to arrest all of you’. This was after the national guard was already in the city, and we already had the unrest the previous Saturday in the inner harbor. The first ‘riot’ in Baltimore. I turned to my friends and we had to ask ourselves if we wanted to get arrested. We were in sophomores in college and that would affect our scholarships. We decided we couldn’t take the risk and walked all the way back to our dorms. 

The moment I got into my room, I heard shouting from outside. I raced to my window and the crowd grew by the THOUSANDS. My window faced North Ave, the notorious street in Baltimore. I threw on my shoes and I grabbed my phone and I ran back out there. Split decision. I didn’t have any friends with me, no buddies. And I (perhaps stupidly), threw myself into the fray. It was the most fucking amazing experience of my life. And it was the biggest protest in Baltimore at that time. I didn’t have to know anyone, because we were all screaming for one cause. It wasn’t until we walked around the entire city, through Sandtown where Freddie was killed, that we reached the inner harbor and I found my friends. But it was 8:30 by then and approaching curfew, which was 9 o'clock. We raced to get home before that struck because the police had been getting violent in previous days. That’s where this picture was taken from.

NOW WHAT FUCKIN RELEVANCE DOES THIS FUCKIN HAVE. 

I heard that the tides were going to change. That the police may get violent and this was after already experiencing the police yelling shit at us, flipping us off in previous college organized protests, and watching them beat the people every fucking night. You HAVE to be conscious of those around you. If you hear that people have started to throw shit, unless you’re about that life and want to take the risk, LEAVE. And as non-black people, DO NOT BE AGGRESSIVE IN THE UNREST. The best thing you can do is create a barrier around the black protesters. The best thing you can do is try to help those around you. But don’t be one of those fuckin idiots that are spray painting on buildings, throwing shit, setting shit on fire, because it reflects badly on us. We will be blamed for it. Not saying I think you would do that, but keep that in mind. 

Here are some quick tips summarized:

Watch out for unrest. The people start getting violent? leave. You cant continue the fight if you get hurt. 

the POLICE START GETTING VIOLENT?! Get. the fuck. Out of there. And help anyone you see that needs it. 

Keep your eyes out for a med booth or those supplying first aid. I’ve heard they are spread all throughout the protests, ready to aid.

Bring your inhaler

Write the number of your friends on your body. This day and age people don’t know each others numbers. It’s very easy to lose your phone when shit pops off. And if you get separated, you’ll be happy that you have it written somewhere. Just make sure its non-visible. Some people ended up getting doxxed during the last uprising. 

Write the number of a friend that is not there, someone you trust, as well, in the same manner. If someone is handing out the number of someone representing legal counsel, take it. 

Bring water with you. That is vital. And snacks. Keep your energy up in the sun.

I saw many things saying unlock your phone so people can get to your information. Do not unlock your phone. If it gets stolen then you’re fucked and if it gets in the hands of the police, you don’t want them searching through your shit. On your lock screen put all necessary information. Your picture, name, age, phone number, and the phone number of the person you trust. 

Bring a black sharpie. You need to write shit down like the name of someone getting arrested? you’ll be happy for it. 

stay together. try your best to not get separated. One goes, you all go. You do not want to lose someone in the fray. 

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A MASK OR SOME SORT OF FACE COVERING. FABRIC, MEDICAL, WHATEVER. NOT ONLY DO YOU WANT SOMETHING TO PROTECT YOU, BUT SOMETHING TO PROTECT YOU FROM FACIAL RECOGNITION. 

tie back your hair if you have long hair. 

wear baggy black clothing. you want to be as non-descript as possible. you do not want the police to be able to easily profile you. 

stay far away from the fuckin cops. we saw in ft Lauderdale yesterday that it takes ONE COP to start it all. 

If you have medical supplies? bring them. 

If you see opposing parties trying to start shit like the trump supporters and white supremacists infiltrating the crowd? RAISE THE ALARM. TELL. OTHERS. 

POLICE ARE INFILTRATING THE CROWDS AS WELL. I’ve heard that they're changing armband color every day. So if you see an armband, tell the people around you. It’s usually on the upper bicep and keep your eyes open for anyone else like that. This is important. 

AOC posted this fantastic guide:

And you can find the entire thing here

Please stay safe, stay alert, stay aware, and thank you for fighting. 

Black Lives Matter.

- BloodyDamnit

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[unwanted-animal]

I’m just gonna vent here for a sec, about relationship stuff and youtube drama of all things

so trans YT drama might legit end my marriage????

I don’t want it to. I love my spouse with all my heart but I’m at the end of my patience.

So, Contrapoints. She’s a famous trans youtuber who we watched before she came out, and while she explored her gender as she gradually came to recognize herself as a trans woman. She’s got great production value, she does a lot of videos on the alt right, and she does a lot of socratic discussions that she doesn’t flat out LABEL as socratic discussions sometimes.

She’s also got a long history of stepping in it when it comes to nb folks and trans folks who don’t pass.

It’s been rubbing me wrong, because every time the community at large is like “Contra, this is kinda shitty, please just think about what you’re broadcasting to your 250,000+ followers”, she disappears for a while and comes back and jokes about being canceled and continues on.

Well, this time she said that people asking pronouns when she feels like she’s the only trans woman there is invalidating. And that’s super fine. Her airing that is fine. I understand how it can feel invalidating, especially when you hold up how well you pass as the main easer of your dysphoria. But she phrased it in a way that seemed kinda crapp to nb folks. So folks gently called her in, myself included, and she doubled down. 

And of course, as with any drama, there were assholes and monsters tryna doxx her and actually doxxing her and sending nasty messages to people and her, threats and the usual shitbag bullshit nasty people pull.

She deleted twitter for a while, but then she came back, to promote her new video.

Where she had Buck Angel of all fucking people in it. 

Buck, who was suggested by Teryn, a friend of hers and former LOUD transphobic trans person. Buck is a transphobic trans man who not only has run pyramid schemes targeting trans men, but he’s also outed lana wachowsky without her permission to the rolling stone because his wife left him for her, he’s also continually misgendered trans men he decides don’t pass, he says queer trans people aren’t really queer, he APOLOGIZES TO TERFS FOR TRANS PEOPLE EXISTING. He’s a shitbag and we’ve KNOWN he’s a shitbag for well over 15 years. 

And with her truscummy tendencies, folks were like. Okay. Hold the fucking phone Nat. 

Well she did a patreon q&a this past week where she said she knew buck because he looks “strikingly cis” and that’s why she’s a fan of him. She boiled down his years of scams and transphobia to “some bad tweets”, she through Harris under the bus for saying he was actually fucked up over being put in a video with a dickhead like Buck without his knowledge, and she made light of him doing good work with the mermaids charity earlier this year.

ANyway, Cis Yter lindsay ellis, one of nat’s bffs, posted this four image “”acknowledgement”” of natalie’s shit and said this: 

“Why would one repeatedly fall on the sword apologizing to a community that jumps at every possibility to apply the worst possible interpretation of any perceived transgression?”

The trans community’s criticism of natalie isn’t based on “perceived transgressions”. It’s not bad faith interpretation. We fucking REACHED OUT TO TRY AND BE LIKE NATALIE, YOU’VE ONLY BEEN TRANSITIONING FOR TWO YEARS, PLEASE STOP TALKING OVER OTHER TRANS PEOPLE, PLEASE STOP CENTERING YOUR EXPERIENCES, PLEASE STOP SAYING NB PEOPLE ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO LIVE AS A WOMAN, THIS IS KINDA BAD.

AND THAT IS THE BIG CRIME HERE.

Anyway George said I’m just “following a mob” because I dont’ want to support her fucking work anymore. He’s like gone full white knight for her, and I get it, being a NB person with a LOT of internalized bullshit, you don’t seem to care that a large amount of people have been hurt over and over and over by her words and deeds. And not just NB folks. Non-passing trans folks. Older trans women she claims are all truscum. Older trans men she passes over because they dont’ look “strikingly cis”. 

One night he claimed his depression was so bad because folks were just kinda done with Nat’s shit that he wasn’t excited and food had no taste. That shit isn’t HEALTHY.

I made one post last night about Lindsay’s shitty apology and he responded TODAY, at like 4:30 in the morning, with “where’s the lie?” about the excerpt I posted.

He keeps saying i’m a hypocrite but I’m not whipping up people against her, I’m not dehumanizing her, and I only retweet stuff other binary trans women say in regards to her damn Patreon bullshit. I decided for myself I was no longer comfortable watching her shit, and I think that should be fair??? I don’t know why he’s going so fucking hard in on this, other than I know he’s attracted to her, but like. Buddy so am I, doesn’t mean I think she doesn’t need to take some fucking time back and stop being a reactionary. 

Anyway it’s this thing seething inside him and I... I dunno. He fucking got on my business about it in KROGER the other night, fuckign KROGER, and no matter how many times I told him to drop it he just fucking wouldn’t! 

I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know what to fucking do. 

Might just end up blocking him on twitter if he doesn’t stop. won’t stop the real-life issues surrounding this (K R O G E R), but it’ll make him get off my fuckin back. 

[victoryclaimedmoved]

Does my world count as a fandom... Can I pls get headcanons for lance n' Artemis & Apollo n' even vee... Pls......

♔— «« // SEND ME A FANDOM ! ;

i’ll give you five headcanons of my muse in that universe.

of course it counts as a fandom !!! you and your world owns my soul and i just ?? love it so much i cry ??? this got so long like omg || grimesucker

LANCE

we talked about it once and i think it’ll be the only time it happens, but in his time in the UC, lance has only ever killed one person – though that is always subject to change. this is after he’s been there for a while now. he did it to protect some of the slumbrats and he has nightmares about it sometimes.

despite being pulled down here and what he’s been through, he still manages to find a way to be positive?? he does suppress a lot of the negative emotions though because he doesn’t want to be a burden on anyone, especially dox after all he’s already done for him. he has a lot of masks that he wears ( mostly when he’s around other people, when he’s at work ) and even though he won’t show it, he’s not dealing well with being in the undercity.

his apartment is pretty small but it’s got enough space for what he needs it for, which is sleeping. he doesn’t really have anything of value with him because everything was left back home when he was brought down. anything that might be valuable stays at carnival with abali.

not the first time that lance gets taken, but the second time it happens ( referenced here ), he gets injected with the sauce and he’s a mess™ when dox and artemis eventually find him. he remembers bits and pieces, faces mostly, that he saw when he was still feeling the effects, but couldn’t describe any of it if he tried. all he knows is that he felt like shit, everything hurt, and his head was killing him. he’s got scratches on his arms and his knuckles are bloodied and bruised because he saw his family members and gage ( under w/e name he was using with lance ) saying things that really messed him up and he tried scratching himself to ‘wake himself up’ and punched walls to try and get them to shut up.

lance is really good at making friends. while he wouldn’t go as far to say that he knows people care about him, he has connections. he generally never starts up a friendship with the intention of having connections, it usually ends up like that one way or another. while some of them are genuine and are friendships, a majority of them stem from working at carnival.

speaking of carnival ( bc only 5?? what are limits idk ), lance is super protective of everyone who works there. he makes it a point to know who works there and even though he doesn’t HAVE to, he’d fight for all of them. tsu-tsu probably beats him to any arising problem, but he’s always there to help make sure his friends and co-workers are okay and safe.

the lion’s roar, his restaurant, is only open certain hours, working around his schedule at carnival. sometimes, if abali needs him outside of that, he’ll close down shop in order to accommodate her needs. working at the lion’s roar honestly brings him so much happiness? it’s one of the very few places where he can make his own rules, where he can let go of all the bullshit and sadness and anger and make something good for people who deserve to have good things ( even if they’re lil shits and assholes. they’re still people ). cooking makes him so happy.

ARTEMIS

artemis has a lil bit of a reputation as a fighter. she may be small but she uses that to her advantage. people underestimate her because she’s small and young ( she argues that being seventeen is old enough – six is old enough to hold a knife and stab someone ( she would know ) so ?? ). despite all of the fights she gets into, she hasn’t killed anyone aside from pippa, who was her 'aunt’ who continued to raise her and apollo after their parents were killed.

she will NEVER admit it, but she is such a sucker for true love. her parents had it and she wants it, too. but she doesn’t think she’s worthy of it or that she’d ever find anyone who would settle with her. don’t try to accuse her of being a romantic— she’ll take your eye for it and tell you to shove your accusations up your ass.

artemis kind of really looks up to dox. she’s not the greatest at admitting her feelings and generally responds with waving something sharp in response so don’t ask her about it. but if she were good at admitting her feelings and talking about them, she’d say that even though dox is a pain in the ass, he still takes the time to look out for them– all of them, as much as he can. sometimes when she’s afraid, she asks herself, “what would dox do?” and while that doesn’t always give her the greatest solution, she felt brave enough to execute her plan.

linking back to hc #2, artemis is afraid of love. she is afraid that even if she DOES find it, it won’t last. something always goes wrong. always. she doesn’t want to get her hopes up and the only way to do this is to be in control, to stop things before they get serious, before anyone can hurt her first. along with the reputation of being a fighter, she gets the reputation of being a HEARTBREAKER, breaking hearts all over the UC before they can break hers.

throws wes in here bc i love him already. wes goes by trix and is a known troublemaker. he and the twins have known each other for years and have a sort of friendly rivalry going ( no one’s stabbed each other yet ! that’s as friendly as it could get as kids ). it isn’t until after apollo gets attacked and taken that artemis and trix start to hang out more. it isn’t for the best, though, because trix is trying to bring apollo out and get him used to the changes to his nanobots, which artemis disapproves of bc they don’t know the limits of them yet or what apollo is capable of. she almost stabs trix a couple of times and punches him a few times but after a few months, idk how it happens or what the circumstances are, but they end up sleeping together and it’s a rollercoaster of emotions with them pushing and pulling, trying to avoid each other and ending up together at the end of the night and eventually they enter a relationship. as much as artemis tries not to, she feels herself falling for him harder every day and she’s terrified but — she looks at dox and lance and thinks that maybe, just maybe, she can have that too.

artemis is really into painting. she doesn’t get to do it often, but when she does, she can spend hours just creating things. she’ll use other forms of art, but painting is her favorite. she’s got a sketchbook she keeps hidden away with sketches of places and people in the undercity, she’s tagged the sides of buildings and signs. she wants to give the city something BRIGHT to look at. she likes to do landscapes but she only has pictures from books as references and because of this, she doesn’t do them too often. most of her paintings are, like her sketches, of people and buildings.

APOLLO

apollo is the softest boy ever !!!! he may be the older twin, but artemis has always been the tougher of the two. he prefers to talk things out and work through problems instead of attacking each other. that being said, he isn’t afraid to fight someone. if his sister or someone he cares about is threatened, he immediately becomes a threat, especially after his nanobots are messed with.

his dna was mixed with a wolf’s and he becomes easier to anger and is quicker to jump into fights. because of this, he wants to lay low and not bring too much attention to him and artemis. he doesn’t want her being taken too if the people who took him find out that whatever they did to him worked.

apollo doesn’t like that artemis gets into so many relationships. he doesn’t have anything against it and knows that she’s her own person making her own decisions, but he wishes she could see that she IS worthy of finding love just like anyone else if she just gives herself a chance. he’s also tired of having to get into fights every other week after she breaks up with someone.

he’s adopted a dog he named rosewood. rosewood come and goes as she pleases and always manages to show up at the door whenever apollo is leaving or getting home. after his nanobots are messed with, rosewood avoids apollo for a few weeks before she comes around again and sticks around longer than she had before.

aside from artemis, trix is his best friend. he’s the only one who’s treated apollo the same as before. there aren’t many people you could really trust with your life, but apollo trusts trix with his life— but he does sit trix down and tells him that if he hurts his sister, they’re going to fight. trix mentions that isn’t exactly fair because apollo is much stronger than him. this earns a pap to the cheek and a fond, “life’s not fair, dumbass.”

apollo gets jobs where he can when he can to try and bring in some money for him and artemis. he’s probably been approached by a few gangs?? correct me if im wrong !! but what’s happened to him isn’t common knowledge but no one would be surprised if certain people ( *cough* 5liip, abali, and maybe ??? bratch ??? *cough* ) found out and tried to recruit him bc of it?? he turns them down tho bc he does not want to get involved with that. he doesn’t want a life of fighting and war.

VEE

she is hella dangerous. she may only be fourteen but you do not want to be fighting her. she is skilled in all forms of combat and can adapt to just about any weapon given to her.

she doesn’t have any family or friends. she has no ties to anyone and very rarely gets attached to people.

she comes from one of the upper levels ! she was basically bred to be a little assassin / spy because who would suspect a child? definitely not the people she’s killed. however, something goes WRONG and she’s sent down to the undercity as punishment, which pisses her off because it wasn't her fault. then 5liip comes into the picture and she joins {BB} ( getting her brackets tattooed on the inside of her left wrist ) where she works as a spy / assassin for 5liip.

vee has ??? hella information she could give 5liip tbh?? she’s got names, codes, locations— you name it, she probably knows it. she wants to get revenge on the people who sent her down here only because they set her up for failure. she doesn’t fail. vee was probably sent to the UC to get killed but that didn’t really work out well for her former employers.

vee has to be doing something. she doesn’t like being stationary for very long. if she can’t go out or isn’t given a job to do, she can be found training.

she can mimic voices !!! all she has to do is listen to a few words the other person says and she can mimic their voices flawlessly. 5liip and lobster are the only ones who know this.

though she doesn’t show it ( bc she just doesn’t know how to ), she really enjoys the company of 5liip and lobster ; they’re the only two people she will allow to touch her without losing a finger or getting seriously injured. she tolerates the other {BB} members because she has to. she’s not really a people person.

vee doesn’t talk a lot. she communicates mostly through nods or one word responses ( “affirmative,” “negative,” etc ). though she is very intelligent, she wasn’t given much time for speaking when she was on the upper levels. she’s been taught to keep it short and simple. you don’t have to say much when you’re there to kill for the greater good.

if she’s a thing in the 1nh3r174nc3 verse, she’s gonna be. vvvvvv upset that 5liip and lobster are gone ( bc they were the only things that mattered to her ) and probably has like. the worst tantrum ever negl. she completely destroys  some room ( where at? idek tbh ) and if anyone comes near her, she’s gonna destroy them too. but once she’s. pulled herself together, she’s going to do for dox what she did for 5liip. she’s going to be a grumpier version of herself but whatever dox needs done, she’ll go out and do it. 

[autistic-science-cryptid]

Introduction

I am an autistic person, as I’m sure you know. And, as the title suggests, while I am not literally a cryptid, I might as well be a cryptid, at least according to autism researchers, for a number of reasons. You see, for starters,I was diagnosed with autism in the late 80s as a baby, and I mean a literal baby, just over a year old, because my mom (who later realized she was autistic and self-diagnosed as a result of watching me grow) talked to the doctors and was like “Oh by the way, I noticed that other babies look at me but my kid does not. Hmmm. I wonder why that is”. That’s the first cryptid point right there - researchers are still looking for ways to diagnose autistic kids at age 2 (so they can push that hellish ABA therapy on them - boooo) even though like two seconds of observation would enable them to see who is autistic much earlier. Which is probably a good thing if that kid has the type of parents who would push them into ABA. Good thing my parents didn’t buy into that crap, no matter how much later experience with abusive assholes convinced me they did or it was only a matter of time before they did.

Secondly, since I didn’t know how to please IQ testers when I was really little and had not been pushed through official ABA by my parents, the “experts” claimed I was (and this is their word, not mine) “retarded”. Which, as we know, is a slur, but was a medical term in use back then, before they said “intellectually disabled”. Fine thing to put on a baby. And here’s the thing: No intellectually disabled person can write the way I’m doing right now. So one more cryptid point - apparently the real me didn’t exist to them then, either.

Thirdly, when I was really little, a dog (whose owner foolishly claimed he “loves kids”) got its mouth around my throat, and my autistic nervous response of freezing up in the face of that type of danger is the only reason I’m not six feet under right now, as pretty much any neurotypical kid would have been when confronted with a situation like that. So one more cryptid point for me. Especially since I always have and still love dogs, and if anything, that incident had me firmly convinced that dogs are not mindless killing machines, because if they were, I’d be dead. Whereas a response I had to a teacher ducking me underwater and giving me fake praise was more normal - it made me afraid of the water, and only a teacher from the YMCA cured me of that fear, whereas the special ed middle school I went to, which had a pool, only punished me for that fear. I’ll get back to special ed later. 

Yay “errorless learning! (/sarcasm)

I also used to stack a little table on top of a chair when I was a kid to reach stuff because for some reason, my dad always put Cheerios on top of a really high wardrobe (Gee, thanks) And I never fell because I was careful climbing that precarious structure. One more cryptid point for me - kids normally aren’t able to do that.

I am also a person who was in private Special Ed schools from the time I was like ten months old throughout high school, and my middle and high school in particular was emotionally abusive to me. While they never officially claimed to use ABA, they did - if it walks like ABA, talks like ABA, and quacks like ABA, it is ABA no matter what you call it. And really, it’s quite weaselly presenting your core discipline method as like a fun extra for your students to earn (which I found out on their website years later). It’s especially weaselly given that this method was the exact method used to punish me for not swimming a length of the school’s pool due to the fear of the water (and especially the deep end) that I mentioned earlier, a fear that wasn’t even as difficult to solve as many other hydrophobia cases, so of course a Y teacher was able to fix it. Throughout that time, but particularly during middle school years, I tried multiple different little schemes (not adult-level schemes, kid-sized ones) to try to be a more successful kid (so yes, I do sympathize with Pa Ingalls, even as I recognize that it is far more problematic for him to do that than for kid me to because he had several people to look out for and I had zero). That’s another cryptid point - usually you see that kind of behavior pattern from grown men, not tween girls.

As an extra bonus, the special ed high school I went to let me into their college program the first year, one where you take college courses for credit, and I got an A in that course. Nevertheless, my school had set me up to fail that - they had a lady teacher sit next to me, one who was entitled as fuck. This teacher whined about her job to us, and also bragged at one point about how Tom Cruise called her and was polite to her. I mean, hello? Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, and assuming that teacher wasn’t lying, the only reason Tom Cruise would call some random teacher is to recruit her into Scientology. But of course, that teacher was so full of herself that she could not see that. This teacher also, when confronted, said “I have other kids to worry about”. Nevermind that I was the only student from that special ed program that she was sitting next to. She also allowed me to work on a project alone instead of in a group because of course I was going to take that option when they offered it (even though I am perfectly capable of working on group projects). But them allowing me that option was a setup. 

That, combined with talking to myself and maybe poor grooming was what they used as an excuse to kick me out of that program. Though they never told me about poor grooming as a reason, and it was usually my parents they hid things from, so I’m not sure poor grooming was what they were primarily concerned with. Anyhoo, it seems as though talking to myself was enough to get me kicked out of that program in spite of getting an A, with the teachers literally laughing like bullies at my parents as they told my parents the news, and furthermore, they recommended me for VESID, which was really just recommending that I live in a sheltered workshop (which I would have shot myself in the foot in - I am a fast worker at certain tasks, and had my parents agreed to the sheltered workshop placement, I would have given the people my best performance, and ended up getting paid less than minimum wage, and worse, they would never let me go because they would be using me to pick up the slack for other workers and would find all sorts of excuses not to let me move on). 

So the A alone may as well be a cryptid point. As is my using NYC public transportation all by myself - those fuckheads claimed I couldn’t travel independently, even though I had been using the subway all by my lonesome to get to the work experience programs I did the last year (in former years, I had gone to work experience stints on the bus). So, pathetic as it may seem, my ability to use the subway/bus all by my lonesome is another cryptid point.

I also get a few more cryptid points for currently studying animal behavior and cognition in grad school and working on a Master’s thesis (which I won’t talk about so, again, as not to dox myself). Let me explain.

First of all, in spite of being kicked out of that program, the high school let me graduate, and the way they described me was literally how intellectually disabled people are described. And, while intellectually disabled people are themselves severely underestimated, they certainly are not going to be in graduate school working on a Master’s thesis in animal behavior and cognition, because the scientific papers alone would be cognitively inaccessible to them - even the lay version of scientific papers might not be cognitively accessible to an intellectually disabled person. So, according to that logic, I should not even be where I am right now.

Furthermore, some of the top people at that school are ableist as fuck, and totally champion clicker training, both for animals (which is iffy in and of itself, especially as a general behavior training for highly social and compliant species like dogs) and for, you guessed it, autistic people. They totally support ABA “therapy” as well (and yes, they support electrically shocking kids as punishment and claim it is less cruel than either medicating or restraining kids who self-injure, which is bullshit and completely dances around the fact that kids at the Judge Rotenberg Center get shocked for minor things) and they totally gloss over some pretty alarming signs. They, of course, claim I am totally high-functioning with no issues whatsoever, so to them, the side of me that has meltdowns and occasionally self-injures is also a cryptid, since apparently autistic people who can get a Master’s degree can’t have meltdowns. Even though I do get those from time to time. So one more cryptid point for meltdowns.

This is a random list of talents and abilities I have (just those, if you don’t feel like reading a list of talents, you can always skip that part)

I can do a perfect kitty meow (seriously, you would think there is a cat in there if you were in the room when I did it). And I can also stim (god, I wish autocorrect would use that as an actual word) by rhythmically tossing a ball back and forth without looking, and I can also produce songs simply by clicking my tongue. Yes, that’s a thing, although I’ve never seen anyone else do it. Believe me or not if you wish, but I’m not about to dox myself by putting up a video, especially since I don’t want to be blacklisted as a result of smear campaigns by ableist researchers. Three cryptid points right there. Four if you count me teaching myself some sort of impromptu gymnastics move at one point (well below Olympic level - it wouldn’t even qualify for a low-level gymnastics competition)- I have no idea what the hell that move looks like or what to call it. I only know how it feels, so don’t ask. 

Five cryptid points if you count the fact that on occasion the neuronal electricity from my hand jumps out and “pushes” a computer button before I even touch it - it’s not really a reliably controllable act, but it is a weird quirk I have, and that I share with my mom. The only reason that isn’t a problem is because it only seems to “push” a few types of buttons and coincides only with my hand approaching the button, never before that, which is how I know it’s nerve electricity and not a glitch. If you think that’s woo, don’t follow me - I never claimed to be able to teach anyone how to do that or to identify whether someone has that ability (unless they tell me and don't falsely claim to be able to control it only to show no such ability), and it’s not like I can sell that quirk for money, either. And I can’t control it anywhere near reliably enough to prove it scientifically, either, which is probably a big reason why abilities like that (along with telepathy, which I have only ever heard of in real life, mostly not from me but from others I know, as being a random, uncontrollable occurrence or else, as in one case, so laughably pathetic that pretty much any scientific test for telepathy will never detect said ability) were never officially found, so don’t hold your breath waiting for that kind of thing.

One more talent I have is this: after seeing Orlando Bloom as Legolas (I’m aroace, so I don’t have a crush on him and don’t get any ideas) do a catlike leap onto a rock, I tried that same move and got it right on the first try, even though I had read he found it difficult to do. But then again, he’s a foot taller than me, and he has an acquired disability from foolishly walking, sober, onto a thin piece of metal that could not support his weight, and falling three stories, so maybe it’s a cryptid point, maybe not, because being a foot shorter than the guy you see doing a catlike balance move would make it pretty easy to out-cat him any day. Especially since I would never make the kind of mistake he did, because from what I can gather, Orlando Bloom is a pretty cocksure guy (kind of like Legolas, really, personality wise - too bad they made him play what seemed to be an entirely different character than the one in the book who is probably more like Orlando Bloom than the Legolas Orlando Bloom played), and I am not cocksure. Obviously not literally, because I am cis female, and not metaphorically, either.

[aion-rsa]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Who is John Walker, the US Agent?

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John Walker, the US Agent will be one of the antagonists of Marvel's The Falcon and the Winter Soldier on Disney+.

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When The Falcon and The Winter Soldier starts up on Disney+ next year, one of its main antagonists will be the returning Daniel Bruhl as Helmut Zemo. At D23, it’s been announced that there will be another major antagonist in the form of John Walker, as played by Wyatt Russell. Walker is a B-lister-at-best to Marvel and it makes sense that this would be the project that would formally introduce him into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

While there have been various people to take up the mantle of Captain America outside of Steve Rogers, there are only five who truly matter. Isaiah Bradley was the prototype for Captain America as revealed in the excellent Truth: Red, White, and Black. William Burnside became Captain America in the 1950s in response to Rogers’ disappearance after World War II. John Walker became the new Captain America after Steve Rogers was dismissed from the role. Bucky Barnes took over as Cap when Rogers temporarily died. Then Sam Wilson became Cap when Rogers (living again) lost his super soldier powers and became physically elderly.

While Bradley and Burnside have potential to show up in the future (though they’d have to get a good Chris Evans double for Burnside, if not Evans himself), John Walker is the perfect wrench to throw into a story about Sam Wilson wielding the shield.

So who is John Walker, the Captain America of the 80s?

Walker was created by Mark Gruenwald and Paul Neary, debuting in the pages of Captain America #323 in 1986. In his original appearances, he played the role of Super-Patriot, a glory-hound loud-mouth vigilante backed up by his own propaganda machine. He’d spend much of his time giving speeches about how Captain America was old news, falsely portraying him as a gun-toting psychopath, and he’d even stage fights with goons in Captain America masks called “The Buckies.”

Though respecting the First Amendment and all that, Captain America obviously didn’t like this. Walker, who was driven by fascism, couldn’t leave well enough alone and instigated a fight with Cap. It went on for a while and Walker considered himself the winner because he...threw a shuriken into Cap’s chainmail.

Yeah, I don’t get it either.

A few issues later, Rogers had issues with the US government. The two parties disagreed on the status of the Captain America identity and the United States’ ownership. Deciding that he answered to the dream and not the suits behind the desks, Rogers gave up being Captain America, choosing instead to fight crime as Nomad and later The Captain. Tony Stark even made him a new shield!

The high-ranking government types discussed who would make for the best replacement. Fittingly enough, one even suggested that Sam Wilson would be a perfect candidate...but the public wasn’t ready for a black Captain America. They instead went with Walker, because jerk or not, he was still pretty damn good at punching terrorists in the face.

read more: Everything You Need to Know About The Falcon and The Winter Soldier

Walker was taken aback, especially considering he made had made a name for himself specifically by telling everyone how much Cap sucked. He ended up agreeing to the terms, mainly since he would do just about anything the government tells him to. It was there that we also got to learn his origin.

Walker was the younger brother of a soldier who died in Vietnam and was celebrated as a real hero. Idolizing his brother, but stuck in his shadow, Walker decided to prove himself by joining the military. While he was active, the US wasn’t involved in any wars, so his attempts for glory and acknowledgement were empty gestures. He ended up getting powers from the Power Broker, a pro-wrestling promoter who was the lazy way out whenever a writer in the '80s needed to give someone special abilities without revealing that they were actually a mutant. Walker never entered the squared circle, as he instead got himself an agent and a dream to be America’s #1 patriotic hero.

Then again, he did stage pre-determined fights with the Buckies to get him more cheers from the public, so I guess he's more pro-wrestling than I originally thought.

After Taskmaster trained Walker to sling a shield like an expert, the new Captain America started kicking ass in the name of ‘Murica. For roughly two years, Walker played the role, where he was portrayed as a violent psychopath dressed in the flag. He wasn’t quite Frank Castle level of bonkers, but he had no problem tying his villains to explosives and leaving them to die. 

Over the course of his run, he started to chill out a bit, question authority a little, and the narrative made sure to make him sympathetic. For instance, he got doxxed and his parents were murdered because of it. Then he wasn’t even allowed to see their funeral because duty calls.

In the end, it turns out the big puppetmaster of everything was the Red Skull. Walker and Rogers teamed up against him and took him down. Then everyone decided to go back to the status quo with Rogers as Cap.

Walker was lucky, though. You see, the 90s were on their way and there was no better haven for an edgier copycat of an existing hero. It was a time when Iron Man was flying around with a giant gattling gun on his shoulder, Spider-Man’s alien double was eating the brains of drug dealers, a Thor knockoff was embarrassing all of us with a leather jacket and ponytail, a new Batman had a hideous costume covered in razors, and so on. Rather than go back to being Super-Patriot, Walker dressed in a black version of the Captain America outfit, got a shield of his own, and fought crime as US Agent.

Even though the two were never really shown to be close friends, Captain America and US Agent co-existed as politically-opposite counterparts with a mutual respect (usually). US Agent received a couple miniseries to his name, but never got a full-on solo series.

Instead, he spent the next few decades jumping from team to team. As part of the West Coast Avengers and later Forceworks (oof, the '90s), he often played opposite Hawkeye. Hawkeye initially was the Avenger who was a stubborn asshole to nice guy Captain America, so now he had to deal with a version of Captain America who was actually a stubborn asshole. US Agent later led the Jury, a team of armored soldiers who were originally put together as a revenge pact against Venom, then just kind of stopped fighting him after two stories.

For real, though, it's kind of amazing how nobody cares about the Jury and yet they still show up from time to time.

Speaking of teams nobody cares about, US Agent was also part of Superhuman Tactical Activities Response Squad (STARS) and one of the modern incarnations of the Invaders. He became the American liaison to Omega Flight (which he hated, because they’re filthy Canadians). This led to him joining Hank Pym’s Mighty Avengers during the whole Dark Reign thing. Funny enough, Walker was a big supporter of Norman Osborn being in charge of the superhero wing of the government for a time. Of course he was.

read more: Marvel Pulls Essay Over Political Fears

This came to a head in a Siege tie-in where the Mighty Avengers fought Osborn’s Thunderbolts and we got US Agent vs. Nuke. It was the battle of the I-can-see-where-you're-coming-from right wing patriotic super soldier and the crazy-email-that-your-uncle-sent-you right wing patriotic super soldier. The Mighty Avengers won, but US Agent took some horrible damage from the fight, losing an arm and a leg in the process.

No longer wearing the tights, US Agent became Warden Walker as part of the Thunderbolts. He remained in a wheelchair as he didn’t want to use cybernetic attachments to augment his body and be one step closer to becoming like Nuke, the unfortunate super soldier knockoff who first appeared in Daredevil: Born Again. The comic was bloated with characters, so his panel-time was limited, but Walker at least got a rad moment when he took care of a prison riot on his own, Bad Day at Black Rock style.

It’s the guy meekly bringing over the wheelchair that gets me.

Thunderbolts became Dark Avengers and US Agent was briefly sucked into an alternate reality where the heroes of NYC were at war with each other. Using a lobotomized Venom symbiote, the creature was used to replace the missing pieces of Walker’s body, making him whole again. Team member Toxie Doxie had US Agent under her control, but that was a series-ending cliffhanger that was never touched on ever again.

After that, US Agent has been just kind of kicking around Marvel, showing up whenever someone needs a cranky guy who can still kick some ass. Fittingly, one of his last appearances was him going after Sam Wilson Captain America, but that ties into Civil War II and Secret Empire bullshit and I really don’t want to have to discuss those events.

Outside of comics, the biggest appearance for US Agent was the Capcom tag-team fighter Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter. He was a secret character and really just a recolored Captain America to the point that they didn’t even make his outfit accurate. Still better than how the game turned Blackheart red and called him "Mephisto." US Agent would reappear in Marvel vs. Capcom as an assist character and would be an alternate costume for Cap in Marvel vs. Capcom 3.

read more: The Legacy of Marvel vs. Capcom

As a newcomer to the MCU, Walker is going to be a real wild card. He could be anywhere from a full-on villain to an eventual member of the Avengers. The most likely scenario, at least at first, is that the government isn't going to be thrilled with the idea that Steve Rogers bequeathed the Captain America legacy to Sam Wilson without checking in with them first, and Walker is probably their preferred candidate. I can’t wait to see what Wyatt Russell has to offer.

Gavin Jasper writes for Den of Geek and wonders how long until Forceworks shows up in the MCU. Don’t say they won’t because we’re getting the goddamn Eternals! Nothing is impossible! Read more of his articles here and follow him on Twitter @Gavin4L

Read and download the Den of Geek SDCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Aug 24, 2019

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[magicalmelonball]

The Unpopular Opinion: Nazis vs People Perceived as Nazis

Note: I've decided to continue my rant series, but the titles will be changed now. They will be called "The Unpopular Opinion" series. Just so you know.

READ BEFORE CONTINUING:

Please note that I do not condone the behavior of anyone that describes themselves as a nazi, white supremacist, etc. If you continue reading and think that I do so, then you're just an idiot that can't read, and I'm not at all sorry for saying that. You're just as bad as the Nazis you go after.

Congratulations, Liberals and Anti-Fa, you played yourself.

We already know what happened last weekend. A Nazi dumbass ran over people in an effort to harm them and ended up killing a woman in the process. I'm pretty sure we can all agree that this person is a pimple on the face of America that needs to be popped. He can rot in jail for all I care. I wouldn't shed a tear for this man if he got the death penalty either, to be honest.

However, because of this tragic event, people are using it as an excuse to go after anyone they disagree with.

"B-b-b-but Ginny, the people we disagree with are ACTUAL NAZIS! How can you say that?!"

Of course, the idiots at the protest (that was once peaceful until anti-fa did show up, btw) are Nazis, no doubt. But what about everyone else? 

Are they? 

Are they real, actual Nazis? 

Let's take a look over the past year, shall we?

We started off slandering anyone that wanted to vote for Trump as a "deplorable," thanks to Hillary Clinton. You know, the same woman that said that Robert Byrd was a hero of hers. 

https://twitter.com/StockMonsterUSA/status/896798087393427456 

Then news post after news post came out to slander what Trump said about illegal aliens, spinning it as if he said he was going to deport all Mexican, illegal or not. So it became okay, thanks to the media and ignorant folk, to call anyone that remotely agreed with Trump in any way as some sort of racist, white supremacists, and/or a Nazi.

If you DARED to share an opinion that doesn't fit the radical left (or the alt-left as I like to call them) then you were labeled. Slandered. They took anything a person said and twisted it in the worse way possible to make themselves look right. A good example I have is tweets sent to me on Twitter just yesterday:

https://twitter.com/mahoumelonball/status/897521956861423616

vs

https://twitter.com/jampackedballs/status/897523028464152576

Note what I actually fucking said and what this idiot tried to spin it as me saying. This is a VERY COMMON practice for Liberals. Either they twist your words, or they start attacking your character, your appearance, etc etc. (Or, fuck, both depending on the idiot you're talking to.) Noted director of Frozen and Tangled, Lino DiSalvo, retweeted the call by a radical group to identify anyone they thought was at the protest. Retweeted pictures to use to identify. I called him out like so:

https://twitter.com/mahoumelonball/status/897143630007349248

To which he decided to twist what I said:

https://twitter.com/LinoD/status/897218339482808321

I replied my argument, saying the using doxxing to go after people they don't like will not just hurt the person you're going after, but could hurt their family, friends, or loved ones that may not even be involved with that bullshit.

He still as yet to respond, especially after THIS came out today:

https://twitter.com/Independent/status/897538573326483457

Title: "Charlottesville: Arkansas man trolled on social media after being wrongly identified among white nationalists"

Someone that wasn't even there was falsely identified as being there. He had to flee his home. He's been attacked relentlessly and called horrible names.

HE WASN'T THERE.

As of this post, Lino has still not acknowledged the response or the news articled that proved me right. I've determined he's just another ignorant asshole that refuses to believe he was wrong. Just like anyone else that seems to think it's okay to attack people with violence as long as they THINK the people they're attacking is a Nazi.

ANYWAY...

Let's move on to everyone saying that this is Trump's fault.

I'm sorry, are you mentally challenged? (I would say retarded, but I'm pretty sure I'm already going to get hate for this alone. Don't need the overly sensitive coming over and crying about "THAT'S OFFENSIVE TO PEOPLE I'M SPEAKING FOR.")

Are you going off the article after article claiming that he's racist without ever actually showing proof that he is? Or are you going off that one illegal immigrant comment again that was twisted into the worse way it can be? Surely you can't be talking about the Democrats that got money from Klan members or the KKK secs that approved of them. And in no way are you referring to where he called David Duke a bigot and racist?

Or are you just blindingly following whatever MSM tells you to believe without taking in context or looking up things in the past yourself?

HMMMM.

If this is Trump's fault, then it's Obama's fault that the BLM member killed 5 cops in Texas during a BLM rally. It's then also Obama's fault that three black adults kidnapped a white kid and tortured him because of Trump. It's also Obama's fault that his administration pushed this divide between white and black people even harder in the early 2010s. (No, wait, that's not sarcasm. That's actually fucking true.)

Welcome to this new world order. Where people are so overly sensitive that someone they don't agree with speaks and they scream and cry for a safe space. Where people try to claim you can't be racist against white people because they never knew of oppression (because white people can't be poor and treated like shit either, amirite?). Where people tear down statues and burn paintings because they were either about white people or just a part of history they don't like instead of going down the sane route and having a community meeting about it and speaking and debating like ACTUAL FUCKING ADULTS!

Ahem... I digress...

What we're seeing now is Main Stream Media spinning things to not only try to start a war with Russia, but pushing for this potential fire keg of a new Civil War. We're seeing people that refuse to look up information or even bother to read the other side because "muh feelings." No one wants to admit they're wrong on both sides, to be honest, but what a world we live in when the media spins Anti-Fa as some sort of heroic group that attacked students at Berkely with broken bottles and U-Lock bike locks.

Because they were all racists?

Right?

Because the media said so.

....Right?

"The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history." "In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act." "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." "Political language. . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." "Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."

-George Orwell

[hanzi83]

Different topics: Self reflection, Pro WWE Stans, and Backlash of the XXXtentacion Joke

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I am back for another blog. I keep thinking it will be the end, but due to not being able to jot down my personal thoughts I have had the need to at least put my mind frame out there so people can see where my mind is going. I am going to focus on certain things, I mean there will still be self loathing and self reflection with a mixture of other things on my mind because sometimes, as limited as my verbiage can be due to being a fucking scattered brain nut who can’t organize the thoughts in his head in a precise manner, and can’t figure out where my mind has been over the course of the last decade and that is the unfortunate thing about someone who followed the lead on how to think because I never knew how to think for myself, and I have fell for ignorant point of views or limited point of views and it has never left me satisfied.

Over the course of the last few years I have moved towards being more of a leftist person. I used to not be empathic or sympathetic towards others because I thought nihilism is such a cool and edgy thing for most of my existence, when being a nice person did not make me stand out and made people dislike me for being too much of a square, not realizing I was buying into a normalized right wing and centrist mentality because of the people who had platforms, who would be woke about certain behaviors and on certain issues, and it feels like with all the shit I have been through, trying to interview different people on my periscope sessions, and even talking to people with ignorant views, to see a better way, even if they seem like a Trump supporter, who still have minorities as friends etc, and I feel it is a challenge, because my mind is weak and it feels like if I am not embraced by leftist leaning people, who never really say anything when I am dealing with harassment, it seems more people who come across as peaceful centrists or right wings that they are embracing me, like “Look our side is embracing you, those leftists don’t care about you” and I feel like a certain point I might buckle, because I am a weak minded person, and I have always conformed with who I was around with the outlook, so I constantly deal with this harassment the more I try to put out a more peaceful message.

I am vehemently attacked for having a different outlook on groups fighting against oppression so the right wing government agents trolling me, are trying to paint me as a terrorist sympathizer, while they are the ones siding with the real systemic terror that is taking place. I am accused of hating all white people, when I have pointed out how people are buying into a systemic white supremacy and it is a big no-no. The people, who are supposed free speech advocates, are not for me expressing how people who think they are being edgy are not really being edgy. I have been blackballed from even being able to have a career when I have contributed many ideas that have been taken from me, and the specifics have never made me point it out, just the fact that I contributed.  Maybe that was  Stern Show tactic I fell for, because Stern was a huge influence to me and I always wanted to impress him, so when he would make fun of Stuttering John for keeping tabs on what joke he wrote and would have all sorts of papers he made light of that, and that is when I decided never to keep tab of what ideas and jokes were used by multiple people. The propaganda is so real, even if I explain my narrative, they will just say I was a crazy caller and nothing more, and then they will hint that I helped Stern make millions and I am owed money, and they will deny it is my incapability of finding a job and never disclose that they are keeping me censored. They fuck with my views and pump them up when it is convenient, to show these views on periscope, especially are not genuine. They constantly try to peace talk with me, and not disclose their views are leaning toward the right, so I don’t immediately shoo them away.

This is where it ties into wrestling because they love when I lose my mind. I have spoken out about WWE’s practices, and how I don’t like who runs the company etc, I still appreciate the people who work there and entertain the fans, but even rubbing it in my face I won’t be a part of the Summer festivities in Toronto is meant to make me lose my mind because I lost my mind when Mania festivities took place. Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth it, over the last few months I have not cared about pop culture news or television shows/movies etc to catch up on anything. Maybe I should not care, but it is literally everything we consume is run by some sort of evil. I am sure this computer I am typing on was probably put together by some sweatshop worker or something. It feels like the easiest mind frame to have does just not want to be here because I try to be socially conscious, but I am still using shit that is tied to evil shit, whether it is a tablet, or consuming from some fast food place or something. I lose my fucking mind and the possibility that people I know are also involved with shady things, even though I don’t fucking know, it fucks with me. \

So the wrestling stuff has really taken its toll because even though I believe a lot of the stuff outside the ring, even stuff involving media outlets is also like wrestling, maybe I am buying into it but ever since the introduction of AEW, which does have shadiness with its owners as well, to be fair, it seems like the pro WWE contingent have attack others like they are socially conscious, while never copping to the fact they might be taking WWE money to shill for them online, and because they call out Saudi Arabia, or calling out Hulk Hogan, they think they are doing their due diligence of being socially conscious, and will constantly show off WWE hiring minorities as the most socially conscious shit ever, while it is performative at its best. They accuse others of not keeping the same energy while also not keeping the same energy. Their points towards other companies and people are valid, but the fact they are acting like these new hip people and they are siding with WWE, it supposed to be this manufactured talk about race misogyny etc, while they are supporting the company who have systemically caused a lot of this shit as well. So when there are accounts dedicated to mocking Dave Meltzer, who I don’t agree with by the way on a lot of shit, and I have called him out as well, but since he is has been more on AEW side the harassment has taken another level, under the guise of criticism of his reports etc, there have been attacks on his family and his kids, and when he finally puts on his own board the name of the person doing it, which anyone can see, he is accused of doxing even though it was his first name. I wouldn’t have done it since it said in their terms that no one would do that, but these same shit disturbers are acting like the biggest victims, so much so that he put out the name himself on his own twitter, totally normal for someone to do when they fear their name is out there.

These same dudes who are performative about the outrage were the same ones attacking other people who don’t believe a company with shoddy morality and has had a huge track record of sweeping corruption within their own company under the rug, would actually being capable of exaggerating one of their employees, or independent contractors’ battle with cancer. Now it is genius if this was a lie or some sort of exaggeration because you present a severity of something like cancer, which is horrible to have, so now because people question it, they will have their shills attack anyone questioning it, and if it does end up that this was a lie, it shows how so many of these WWE shills and fan boys and girls, are propping their own experiences and this narrative of “HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THIS, THIS IS NOT A STORYLINE” the same fucking guy who grilled Brian Pillman’s wife on live television after her husband’s death so he could deflect blame on the company, the fact that he may have paid off people to get off Jimmy Snuka off a murder, or the infamous ring boy scandal, or how recently in the affidavit there was reports from Ashley Massaro being raped and it was covered up. “BUT THEY ARE A PUBLICLY TRADED COMPANY” Yeah because that has stopped other publicly traded companies from partaking in any shadiness or corruption.

These same people who care about the sanctity of cancer victims, they were the first ones who would pile on me and tell me to go kill myself, someone who has mental illness, and they had to secrecy of hiding their identities even though I know which people they were and I cannot prove it technically but people accusing Meltzer using his fan boys to defend him etc, are the same ones defending WWE and being a stan of a billion dollar company. I could be wrong about the Reigns stuff but everything to me in this system is manufactured in some way or another, whether it is staged or some other cause orchestrating. I don’t have all the facts, and that is true, but since you guys pit me as this guy who is in his mom’s basement and is a fucking loser, why would you be so threatened by some mentally ill asshole right? Obviously I struck a chord with you guys if you are encouraging me to kill myself, and then acting like you are not doing at behest of a billion dollar company, or some popular radio host who can never be called out.

 The last thing I will say and I am in a hurry. There seems to be this controversy of XXXtentacion joke by some comedian. I have many thoughts of this. People are outraged because she made a joke about someone, who on his time on earth was not the best human being and did horrible things, so she made a joke that his death of getting killed and robbed would be commercial for why you should get Venmo. The joke was not the greatest, even though I feel she has every right to do that joke, comedians should be allowed to try something out without the fear of getting people to threaten her and dox her. Part of me feels, as much I agree with any comedian being able to try to do their jokes and apply their craft, that there is a contingent of right wing comedians who hide behind free speech etc, but they will censor anyone’s else’s free speech under the guise of getting their fan base to threaten other women, but are for this woman’s joke who mocked XXX’s death. Comedians act like their craft is some pure art and never call out the government agents and undercover law enforcement supporters in their own shit. Only time you see these “edgy” comedians call out someone, is when it is someone being “Too PC’ but never call their own side’s bullshit and act like they are the fighters of free speech, while still being prostituted by the right wing side, which has always had a part in the comedy world. Ill see supposed conspiracy theorist comedians, who will put out shit as fact, and I have put out theories, and always state I never know for a fact, but these people will put out that Drake and other rappers sacrificed XXX like it is a fact and that is more dangerous than getting backlash for a fucking joke. It feels like these things are created, maybe both sides are in on it, but it serves its agendas, because the cultists of XXX’s will have a field day and then the ones fighting back have a new angle of a comedian being the fucking victim. These same comedians would not approve of me calling out how comedians are compromised, and not with the jokes they tell, but when they do their podcasts or radio shows, and are being 100 percent serious will advocate for death of minorities and intellectualize it.

I never seen anyone in comedy ever call out how comedy shows like Stern Show or O&A helped start the alt right, and even though these shows were hilarious and there was satirizing of racism, misogyny, and homophobia etc but when they spoke out seriously about things they were spreading nonstop propaganda, and acting like the side they were fighting for is completely freedom, while constantly tying corporate nature with people speaking out against the systemic evils, even if it was limited, like they were not doing the same thing but on a much more edgier level. You don’t see any of these free speech comedians ever call out people like Stern for blackballing me from comedy and not letting me have a more progressive message or maybe explaining how there are initiations about how people have to partake in propaganda to make it, no one wants to hear that shit, so they will limit the messages on either side. No one will pay attention to this anyways, because I will be lumped in with every blogger who is censoring comedy, even though I want comedy to be free, and this supposed presentation of “what comedy is supposed to be” is also prostituted and no one will ever dare point it out and it will just be seen with different cliques and more limited narratives.

So there is my fucking piece. It was shitty and no one should respect me. I hope someday I am out of this world so I never have to endure the pretentiousness and maybe I won’t feel the need to give into this bullshit because my mind does weaken and sometimes I wish I did sell out because it looks so appealing to be celebrated and be able to have connections, but I isolated myself and am not capable of fully trusting another fucking human being. I will always be miserable, and even though I used to think it was cool to be miserable, and self centered, because that was seen as the ultimate “I don’t give a fuck” thing, I realized it was propaganda, but it might be too late for me because my mind has been poisoned for so long, that my mind could be persuaded into this shit. It is what scares me, and for the good of this planet, I would beg people to just rid me off here because it is becoming too much for my fucked up brain to handle.  

Let me clarify though, every comedian has a right to try out dark material, it might not land well, but sometimes it feels like these situations are meant to cause a reaction because it is the new marketing, and I don’t think that XXX deserved to die, being shot at 20 year old is horrible and I do personally believe that someone could have changed if the right people had got to him, and I always feel like people in the industry who do horrible things is part of some initiation, and for some rappers it is always meant to put them in violent situations etc, but no one ever wants to discuss that, so maybe XXX was changing his life and the problematic behavior, but people have to keep in mind that people don’t also have to like what he did, and the ones who have a problem with that joke maybe get on your platforms and discuss why people in the industry do shitty things, like these corporations don’t design it this way, but we can’t prove any of that right? I just had layered thoughts of this whole situation, and people will accuse me of not being for free speech of comedy. I believe comedians should be able to tell their jokes etc. It would not even shock me some of the people threatening to dox and kill this female comedian, weren’t also some right wing types making it seem far more dangerous than what it was. I could be wrong but I question everything and everyone. Everyone has a fucking agenda. These same people who defend Louie, also act like people going after Louie are the ones who have the agenda, but acting like your defense of him is just for the art of comedy, not like you are being given incentive to defend him. It is also funny that the people who were embracing him when he was more socially conscious, never once mentioned how Louie came from being a well off privileged dude, and was not this everyday working man, it is funny how that happens to come out after all of this, kind of like it is like wrestling and it was time to turn Louie heel now. Just my thoughts.