#especially since we haven't been friends for even a whole year. but like. I feel closer to them than I've ever felt to anyone ever

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Well damn, today did not go how I expected

[electricfied-wolf]

I think that I deserve to meet my friends in like every single life ever. If I do not fucking meet my train friends in the next life whats the point those guys are like everything. We've gotta be able to meet in every life it cant just be this one bc you're literally the funniest and coolest person ever. Hell I feel that way about ALL of my friends actually. You watch me play five nights and freddy's and refuse to play the 2nd night because I got too scared. You stayed up with me all night because I didn't want to sleep and then I fell asleep within a minute of talking to you. We laughed and joked. We understand each other in ways nobody does but also hardly know each other. The longest I've known any of you is since late march of this year. But I would literally not want to be here if I didn't have you. Idk what the fuck the universe put in our friendship that made us this close this quick but god I'm glad its there.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot

Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse. 

"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch. 

"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30. 

"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes. 

"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. 

"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.

I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself. 

Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.

Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time. 

Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long. 

Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them. 

Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified. 

This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine. 

I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.

I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.

He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows. 

Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right? 

Only one way to find out though...

A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings. 

"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet. 

Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again. 

Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.

Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things. 

I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.

"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face. 

"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch. 

Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay. 

He needs to know, he deserves to know.

We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings. 

I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes. 

He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too. 

Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.

"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going. 

"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise. 

His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing. 

"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do. 

"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next. 

"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster. 

"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion. 

"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.

"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a ways to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief. 

"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.

"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten. 

He is nervous

I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay. 

"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again. 

"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding. 

"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it. 

He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile. 

"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back. 

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.

"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore. 

"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's not chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle. 

"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.

He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?" 

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[inafever]

On how much Aziraphale has learned since season one:

This is about character development. Inside of a story, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's meant to tell you something, to teach you or the character of your story, something.

So if the story continues and your character repeats the same mistakes again you know that they are bound to be doomed this time, and even worse the audience is going to certainly lose respect for them, cause they have made the same mistake twice, they haven't learned anything, they're gonna do it again another time, they don't deserve a happy ending. (yes I'm talking about good omens here) So you don't do that to a character that matters to you and you respect even the tiniest bit.

A Lot of us here are thinking that this is what has happened to Aziraphale's character at the end of season two, that he has done it again, repeated the same mistake again and has left Crowley to join heaven and it's been because of reasons like wanting to change Crowley (not true, see this post), still believing in heaven's goodness (not true at all), not being on the same page with Crowley (I'm gonna talk about this one especially in this post) and such likes. But these are the things he should've known better about after 6000 years and all the events that we've learnt about especially throughout season two. (It seems to be rather the whole point doesn't it?)

But we all seem to rather believe that he's made that mistake again nonetheless. so what we're doing here is trying to find reasons to justify the mistake and somehow make the reason behind the wrong actions something relatable to ourselves so we can forgive him when the time comes.

In fact I don't believe that he's made a mistake. for Aziraphale's character to be redeemable, what he has done, must be the only option that he's had for saving them both. I don't care what kind of situation could have resulted in him making this decision, but the only reason, the one and only reason, must be his love for Crowley. Otherwise it'll prove that he hasn't learnt his lessons or doesn't love Crowley enough to make a compromise, and in both cases, he's not worthy of love. He won't earn his happy ending by being tortured and feeling sorry and doing the apology dance for Crowley if he's hurt Crowley out of selfishness and stupidity again

But I'm sure he'll earn his happy ending and I'm sure he's learnt his lessons and it's too late for him to have unlearned them all in a matter of a few seconds. (He is an idiot but he's not stupid) and it's mostly because of this, that I believe the reason why he made that decision, must be very different from what it appears to be on the surface.

Anyway, this post is about what Aziraphale has learned and how he's changed.

I have made a post about their moments of conflict from both season one and two, it's here and you can look it up. This is where you begin to understand how Aziraphale has changed since season one because these are his dialogues after he's had a fight with Crowley in the bandstand, season one:

"even if I did know where the antichrist was I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides"

"friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you"

"there is no our side Crowley. Not anymore. It's over"

And then there's season two, when they disagree on what to do with Gabriel, Aziraphale is the one to point out that they both rely on the life they've built together

He's asking him to help him take care of Gabriel together and in response Crowley leaves

In the final scene he asks Crowley to come back to heaven

"work with me" "We can be together as Angels, Doing good" "I need you."

He says anything he can think of literally to convince him to stay with him and it doesn't work

We start from "we're not friends" and arrive at "work with me. we can be together"

Even if we don't know the reason why he's insisting on taking Crowley back to heaven with him, this is an Angel that has picked up the pace. That wants them to be an us. No matter what.

But these are only a few dialogues. I think there's more than that. I think the show in five and a half episodes (out of six) has tried its hardest to make the point quite clear about how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (or how strongly he feels those emotions). all through the way he looks at him and through his gestures and soft touches from time to time

I'm gonna make another post of those moments separately and I'm gonna link it to this when I do.

update: (here's the post. not just average moments of Aziraphale looking cute, it's something about the way he looks at him)

And I'd like to even compare those wishful glances to some of those from season one, but I can't, cause they are nonexistent in there.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[astonmartingf]

YOUR GENTLEMAN ; LH44

— a slice of domesticity as you experience living with lewis for the first time

amgf set during the pandemic, nico rosberg mention, yay!

masterlist

Living with Lewis in Monaco definitely had its perks, but it was also coupled with drawbacks.

When you moved in, you thought it was a short stint but the few weeks turned into months, and soon you found yourself spending the whole year with him.

In the beginning you definitely found more pros than cons, living in Monaco is like a dream, especially since it was with Lewis, it only made it more special.

But as you spent more time, you found yourself growing anxious, and empty. Isolated from your family and friends, away into a foreign country, where you barely knew anyone.

"Are you sure you're okay with me going to Nico's?" You ask Lewis for the umpteenth time. Opening up last night how you felt yourself slowly going insane staying indoors. That's when Lewis suggested that you visit Nico and his family downstairs.

"I'm sure, look we've been friends since forever, and I know that you miss Nico and his family. I'm busy going to races, and you're stuck here. It's okay." Comforting your worries away, Lewis pulls you into a small hug assuring you that it's all good.

"I do miss Nico, I haven't seen him since he left you know, and you— you're both awkward together."

Lewis sends you a pointed look, "We're working on it okay, it's not like I avoid him every time I see him."

You scoff in reply, "As if you give the universe a chance for you to meet. You're always avoiding him, you literally live in the same building together."

Lewis shakes his head, clearly disagreeing with your sentiments, "You know what I'm going to walk you over to Nico's tomorrow and talk to him just to prove to you I'm not awkward with him."

"You're acting like I'm a kid handing me out on a play date! Also that's not counted since you're just going there to prove a point to yourself that you aren't affected."

Pushing a finger in front of your lips, Lewis shushed you pushing you towards your bedroom. "It's time for us to sleep, we both have a busy day ahead."

Rolling your eyes, you were met with a closed door. Following the sounds of Lewis' slippers shuffling back to his bed.

Despite being annoyed you can't find fault with him, you both had a busy day tomorrow with you spending time with the Rosberg's and Lewis with a flight to wherever the next race is.

Spending time with Nico and his family definitely boosted your mood, often forgetting about Lewis as he's constantly in and out of the country. But instead of moping in his apartment you find yourself looking forward to his arrival.

You avoid messaging Lewis during race weeks, keeping to yourself and leaving the F1 Channel playing in the background for any updates. It's nice to keep Lewis focused on the track but it also means that whatever you see on television, is all the information you have on him.

And during inadequate race conditions you're constantly stressing yourself, every yellow flag, weather update, red flag, pit stop, and other potential crashes have you on your toes.

Yet somehow, Lewis always finds a way to comfort you even if he is miles away from you. Immediately answering the radio about his updates (if he is a part of the crash) it's as if he's constantly assuring you that he is doing fine inside the car.

One time you were eating dinner after a long day with Nico's daughters, you find yourself looking forward to coming back to Lewis' apartment. Which at this point is no longer his only, it's a shared space for you two, mostly yours as you spend more time in it than him.

Cooking up something simple, you sit in solidarity finding peace in your little set up. Placing the ceramic bowl you designed with Lewis a few years back on the coffee table at the living room, instead of eating in the dining area, watching a replay of Lewis' dashboard from a previous race.

It feels like he's beside you, you find yourself listening to him as he talks with his engineers, watching his hands grip the steering wheel going lap over lap, doing what he does the best.

You end your days the same, until Lewis comes back. And it happened to be one of those days. The bell catches you off guard from taking a bite of your dinner, looking up, you find the door swing open revealing Lewis from behind.

"OH MY GOSH!" Standing up from the floor your legs stumble at the speed of your reaction. Throwing yourself at Lewis who dropped his bags at the entrance, forgotten as he wrapped his arms around yours.

"OH NO! I didn't cook dinner for you. Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" Breaking from the hug, you smack his arm scrambling to the kitchen for a last minute meal.

You hear the sound of Lewis' laughter behind, your heart warming at the sound of his presence immediately filling the empty space in the apartment. "You don't have to cook me anything, I can make myself food."

You feel Lewis behind you as you shake your head in disappointment. "That's not it, you just came home you must be starving– how about you have my meal down there in the living room. It's fried rice, it's vegan I was about to eat so it's still warm and I can make something real quick so you can rest and-"

You were cut off with Lewis feeding you a spoon of what was supposedly your dinner. "Calm down sweetheart, we can share the bowl if you really want me to eat that bad."

A frown forms on your face, deep in thought, slowly chewing the spoonful of food, before staring into Lewis' brown eyes.

Dragging him towards the living room, you push him into the sofa before grabbing the bowl of fried rice off his hands. "Are you not hungry? You don't have to eat if you're not! You know what you should sit down and rest, or do you want to take a short bath? I can-"

"I can do those things myself. You're stressing over me when I'm at races, and when I'm here you're also stressing yourself over me. You're supposed to relax." Softly grabbing your hands, Lewis pushes you next to him on the sofa.

"I can't help it you know. It's instinct at this point. When I first started living here you basically took care of me when I was feeling down, and now I'm doing the same. We need to take care of each other Lewis, I'm basically responsible for you."

Nodding slowly in agreement, Lewis grabs your hands holding it into his, "And I'm also responsible for you, which I'd like to think is more important than me. I can't have you stressed over your time here, imagine what your parents will say- God forbid, what my parents say."

You gasp, laughing at his statement, "My well being is more important? I think not, you're literally out there racing and going out- imagine Toto Wolff calling me because you're not in perfect condition."

"Then let me handle it. I doubt Toto has anything bad to say about you." Lewis mumbles under his breath, but you catch his statement.

"What would Toto Wolff know about me? What have you been talking about Lewis? I swear if you're spreading that I'm not taking care of you, I'll actually reveal to the world that you're still awkward with Nico."

Your threat seems to leave little to no effect then you expect, but at least you got him laughing.

Happy drivers mean good results.

"And you don't have to tiptoe around me, I doubt anyone has the balls to say that to my face except you- maybe Seb, but it doesn't matter. You don't have to worry about me, my racing, or my relationship with Nico."

Your eyes squint at his statement, still not believing him. His eyes meet yours, not giving up.

"Fine." You lower your gaze first.

"Let me draw you a bath though." Before Lewis could complain, you march towards the bathroom. Behind you, you hear Lewis laughing, you can see him shaking his head in disbelief.

"After that you better finish your dinner, then tomorrow we can do something together."

You smile to yourself, nodding in agreement. Despite the circumstances, you'd rather spend your time with Lewis like this. At the end of the day, even if you're miles apart from each other you will always come back to each other.

[lover-of-mine]

I'm here to argue my case about how Eddie fell first and has in fact been semi-aware of his feelings since season 3 and it's currently dealing with the way he thinks he'll have to be the best man on Buck's wedding. So sit down, buckle up, grab your delusional drink of choice (today I'm drinking my delusional tea lol), and let's go.

Okay, given season 6 information, we know Buck and Eddie are roughly the same age and we know Eddie was pursued by Bobby and Bobby wanted a partner for Buck (unrelated but Bobby so hoped the military guy would balance out Buck and for a while there he ended up with two very impulsive firefighters and he definitely had a few what the hell have I done moments lol) so it's kinda safe to assume that Buck was one of the selling points of the 118 because Buck is a very competent firefighter and they would be on the same shift. So Eddie went in with the expectation of someone his age he could befriend. I'm making some assumptions but the internet tells me the academy takes a year, we know Eddie still doesn't have a permanent childcare plan, so this man is interacting outside of the academy exclusively with his 7 yo, his abuela, and tia for a year, so I think that the idea of having a friend his own age was appealing to him. Especially after the army and Shannon leaving him. So much so that with his sharp edges, you can actually read things like "I'd go lower" or "you're in the wrong light, man" as attempts to create a bond, very awkward I haven't tried to make friends in forever attempts but attempts nonetheless because he's trying to be helpful. Buck is being Buck, but even Eddie says I hear you're a good guy, so dude is trying to understand what's happening, what's setting Buck off, and while he matches Buck's energy after the gym conversation, he actually continues to try and bond with Buck with the thing that actually works and the "you're badass under pressure" that is still another attempt to get through to Buck. I have various theories about the way Eddie keeps trying to start something, the one I like the most and the most painful one is about how Eddie has had the weight of the world on his shoulders forever. And he had to grow up really fast, and then there is Buck annoying him about nicknames and discussing his body fat percentage, and with all that really carefree energy season 1 and beginning of season 2 Buck had that he probably wanted to know what it felt like. But Buck is Buck and Buck also wanted a friend so dude imprinted on Eddie like a baby duck. But Eddie doesn't mind, like before Bobby comes in to say who got the spot on the calendar, Eddie looks amused by Buck not annoyed. But up until now, that's casual. They're coworkers.

Then we have the earthquake. We know Christopher is Eddie's whole world and he's very careful about the people he lets into their life, considering the earthquake happened on Maddie's first day on the floor and she must've had some sort of training before that, it's safe to assume that Eddie didn't mention Chris at the firehouse for at least a few weeks and he is very hesitant to tell Buck about him, but again Buck is Buck and he switches into reassurance mode and that's when Eddie actually lets him in. I actually would love it if we had an explanation as to why Buck drove Eddie to Chris' school after the shift, but it's something that he went from being hesitant to even mention he existed to introducing Buck to him. But then we have the moment Buck becomes his ride-or-die, you imprinted on me but now I'm hanging on to you, with the whole going to the hospital with him because of abuela and also the way that Buck clears Chris staying at the firehouse before Eddie thinks to do it.

This moment right here it's what gets Eddie. He's ready to apologize and justify and he doesn't have to because Buck stepped up to do something simply because he realized Eddie needed help and he could do something about it. Eddie is doing everything alone and he needs help but he doesn't know how or who to ask for it and Buck just steps in and does it before he needs to ask. And then there's Carla. Buck tricks him into showing up and literally hands him the solution to his problems because Buck knows Eddie wouldn't accept it if Buck had said what that was about beforehand, but at no point does Buck make it seem like Eddie is a bad parent for needing help. And I think with the whole thing with his parents trying to take Chris from him, that really does something.

I really like to use the second gif here as a major example of Eddie's heart eyes for Buck, but the first one, when he realizes who Carla is and what she can give him completely changes his demeanor. He was ready to be polite, was probably trying to figure out a way out without saying he was still married, but instead, Buck does something that not only makes Eddie's life easier but makes Christopher's exponentially better. And right then, Eddie is done for. I'm not saying he fell in love with Buck here, I'm just saying right here is when Eddie goes you're stuck with me now dude, and let his guard down with Buck, as much as this Eddie can at least. That's when something starts for him. You can't change my mind on this one. But for now, there's the Shannon of it all, because Eddie does love Shannon but their relationship is beyond complicated. 

But Buck is still constant through Shannon and I think that's important, actually, because Eddie is having trouble trusting Shannon and I feel like having Buck around helps him not go straight to the worst-case scenario all the time. I don't have a point in mentioning this, it's just a clear show of how much Eddie already trusts Buck, but to have Buck go with him to take Chris to see Santa is so wild. Who takes their best friend to see Santa with their kid? Like, what?? But Isn't it interesting that Eddie decides to propose again after Buck asks when is the wedding? I find that fascinating really. Then Shannon dies, Buck almost dies, dude goes into move past it mode but the seed is there. Forever thinking about the wistful shot of Eddie saying almost after Hen says things are back to the way they should be. Something else about the finale it's that it's the first in the list of irrationality moments from Eddie regarding Buck. Eddie is a firefighter, he's objectively stronger than Chimney, so the logical thing to be done is to have Eddie helping lift the truck and Chim treating Buck. But no, at that moment he's a medic who's there to hold Buck's hand. He's just holding Buck's hand. He could've left Buck with Hen and go help lift the truck. But no, he's staying by Buck's side.

But season 3 is when things HAPPEN. We start out strong with the sheer excitement on Eddie's face that Buck is going back to work. Then the way Eddie just hands Christopher over to Buck without a single worry. "Oh, you're falling apart? Here's a kid, he will help" and just goes. We focus a lot on Buck's reaction to them finding Chris because it is what the show wants us to focus, this is the moment Buck looks at Chris and goes "shit I really love that kid" but Eddie looking back at Buck as he holds Chris is interesting. Eddie just went through 30 seconds (actually it's 1 minute 4 seconds from the moment Eddie notices Buck to Eddie having Chris in his arms not that it matters) of the worst possible moments in a parent's life and I guess, since Buck didn't have Chris, and Buck was too shaken to explain what had happened, he assumed Buck lost Chris during the first wave and he's looking back because he's shocked he saved not only himself but Chris from the wave, but from his focus to shift to Buck like that it's interesting. Even more, considering the way he barges into the loft to hand Chris over again. "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" I'm sorry, there's no platonic explanation for the wording of this, okay? This is a man who looked at his honest to god wife, the mother of his child, and said "I can forgive you, I'm just not sure I can trust you" and trust is always the thing Eddie struggles with. To trust someone with Christopher is Eddie's ultimate show of love because it's what makes sense with his character, he is loyal until it kills him but nothing goes above Christopher. Also, Mr. Kids are signs hands over his own child to someone and I'm not supposed to look at that and go "huh wonder what he's feeling"? And there's the lawsuit of it all. Eddie gets that mad because he misses Buck and has no idea what to do with it. Because he got used to being a priority to Buck and he cannot handle the idea that maybe he's not. He's struggling, Chris is struggling and he needs Buck to do the thing he does where he fixes the problem without Eddie having to ask. But Buck has no real responsibility to Eddie or Chris, you can't really expect your best friend to base his life decisions on what's best for you. But it is the expectation Eddie has. He needs Buck to consider him. He needs Buck to be there for him no matter what. And at this point, when he's screaming at Buck as if they are a divorced couple, he's aware of something. He's definitely aware of something he doesn't want to look too closely at. 

Because being left by Buck leaves him completely off balance. And since Eddie is famous for not dealing with the shit he's feeling, things keep escalating because anger it's easier. Anger he can deal with. But in the end, he just wants Buck back so he forgives him the second he lets Buck speak. Because he wants the Buck that looks right through him, he wants what they have back. And he doesn't hesitate once he does. There are definitely some lingering feelings about how he kept pushing Shannon away and then she died and he "lost" time he could've had if he had let her in after he sought her out, so when Buck apologizes he just goes let's go team and moves on because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. 

But I think there's something important to take into consideration, that it's Eddie's therapy session. He talks about not feeling anything, good or bad, and the his feelings are boxed thing and how he doesn't know what to do with them and yes, that comes back into play later, but it is important that Eddie doesn't name his feelings and he consistently tries to box them and move past them instead of feeling them, and it gets to a point where he's doing this even to positive things. So he is not looking too closely as to why missing Buck throws him off balance. He's all let's go back to the way things were and they do. Forever seeking for a heterosexual explanation to the kitchen scene in 3x09 but I also do think there are different types of tension between them there. Because while Buck is teasingly trying to get Eddie to admit on what had happened and how Buck's absence was a trigger for Eddie's fight club era in his flirty way of his, Eddie is trying to make him stop talking in a real "man don't make me look at what happened too closely" because he doesn't know what he'll find. Or if he's ready to find it. Considering the whole widower who never processed a big emotion in a healthy way he has going on there. But Buck is a really steady presence in Eddie's life, and Buck does his best to not put them in the lawsuit situation again, he's around, he's helping Eddie with parenting issues and then we have the well.

The well is a pivotal moment. Not just because of the sheer amount of Buck in Eddie's I need to keep fighting montage and the way Buck is acting above the ground, but because of the way Eddie changes his will after that and chooses to hide the fact that he did. Eddie has parents who are more than willing to raise Christopher, he has sisters, he has a lot of blood relatives that he could assign as Chris' guardians if something happens, but he chooses Buck. He chooses a firefighter, who is not only a firefighter, it's also his partner so if Eddie ends up in a life-threatening situation, Buck will probably be there too, so it's not the biggest safeguard. Buck is also single and without kids of his own. He also has known Buck for what? 2 years at that point? Eddie's lawyer probably stared at Eddie in disbelief when Eddie explained the situation. But the real thing about the will is that Eddie doesn't talk about it. Dude had some revelations while under all that mud because the only reason he wouldn't tell Buck is if he couldn't tell Buck without talking about himself. That's the only explanation for why he would hide it. Because Buck would ask why him, why now, like he did when Eddie did finally tell him, but right then Eddie can't shift the focus back to Buck. But there's a very subtle change in the way Eddie acts around Buck after the well. And again, sure, you can play off Eddie's reaction to when Buck wants to do something dangerous as he needs Buck to stay alive, but you can't really apply that logic to the way Eddie acts about Abby. Like, Eddie is petty to girls who want Buck, that's a fact. And Eddie is petty about Abby, but he also gets unsure about his place in Buck's life when he sees Buck's reaction to seeing Abby. And they focus on Eddie there. We get Eddie's reaction to that interaction. That means something.

We get Eddie legit feeling insecure about his place in Buck's life over the fact that Abby is there. And Eddie knows Abby as this entity, the one that got away, the person responsible for Buck being the way he is, because that's the way Abby is talked about, and sure, if I was in Eddie's shoes, only seeing the damage someone did to my best friend and then have them risking their life because of whatever lingering feelings are still there, I would also reserve myself the right to hate them, but it's more than that. Like, the way he backs away from the both of them once Buck goes into protector mode.

"Abby, His fiancée's Abby." *stomps away*. Absolutely insane interactions happen there that paint Buck as still hung up on Abby, even more after the whole thing with Red, but if you look at it with the right lenses, it paints Eddie as jealous of the way Buck is willing to put himself in danger to keep someone who broke him happy.

Every reaction from Eddie in the train wreck feels so calculated to give this idea that he's unsure of his place in Buck's life. His face when he realizes who he's talking to, his hand hovering over Buck's shoulder like he wants to comfort him but doesn't know if he can, the way he looks at Buck after Abby and Sam are in the ambulance. He's completely off balance at the sight of the ghost of Buck's great lost love and I'm supposed to believe that man is just experiencing platonic friendship feelings about his best friend? Come on. 

Season 4 is complicated. Because of the Ana and Taylor of it all. They do have the easy banter, Eddie being someone Buck can rely on during the whole mess with his parents, a few scenes of Buck completely comfortable in Eddie's space and Eddie just moving around him like he's meant to be there, but we know the Ana of it all happens because of external pressure. Eddie thinks he needs to date, so he grabs onto the first woman he can. The way his whole body relaxes when he realizes Christopher is with Buck is actually insane. But even though he's dating, he's holding on to Buck in a way. Absolutely obsessed with how much he hates Taylor. Dude legit looks like he's fantasizing about running her over with the fire engine while watching Buck and Taylor interact making Buck ignore him. 

But then Eddie gets shot. Say whatever the fuck you want Eddie reached for Buck. He thought he was dying. And he reached for Buck.

Eddie's been aware of something he doesn't want to look at too closely since the lawsuit that became harder to ignore after the well that he became fully aware of when he got shot. I know that what we have now says Eddie doesn't remember the shooting but wouldn't it be beautiful if he lied because he can't say what he remembers because everything he remembers is about Buck? The dramatic effect of I'm lying to you because I realized I loved you then but I can't tell you that now? Ugh. Anyway, Eddie got shot, things fell into place when he hit the ground, terrible place to have an oh! moment though. Dude just got shot, he's bleeding out, and the thing he gathers the rest of his energy is to ask if Buck is hurt. Sure, you can look at that as I think I'm dying so one of us has to make it home to Chris, but the possibility of it being an I love you I need to know you're okay before this kills me it's there. But he doesn't die. And when he wakes up Buck tells him it would've been better if he had been shot. You can see it on Eddie's face that he kept rehearsing what he was going to say about the will. Something else is the way that Ali takes Buck home after the truck so it would honestly make sense if Ana took Eddie home but he probably asked Buck to do it. That scene feels like an aborted love confession. "You act like you're expendable but you're wrong" the way he's saying you're not spare parts, you're not less important, you matter so much to me. Eddie knows Buck, he knows Buck associates love with pain. He wouldn't actually say something after he almost died, but it feels like he's working up to something. Sure he needs to break up with Ana, but there's time before he heals and can just, do something about it. But then Taylor fucking Kelly is in his welcome home party. He knew Buck and Taylor were working up to something. He knows Taylor being there means it happened. A violent reminder that Buck is straight (debatable) and doesn't feel the same (also debatable). So back to safety, he goes. 

I need to know who decided that having this particular look when they are literally talking about how Eddie is about to meet Ana's whole family was the way to go.

Also, can you believe Eddie needed Buck's approval to break up with the girlfriend he didn't even want to date anyway?

Season 5 is complicated because of Eddie's PTSD, 5A has a lot of Eddie pulling away because of the way he knew when the dam broke it wouldn't be pretty and he didn't want to take down anyone with him. But even when we see Eddie out of the job, we see him making an effort to include Buck and Taylor so Buck would know that he really did mean the whole "you're stuck with us" thing. I can talk about 5x11 to 5x14 and the implications of it to buddie for days, really, (you can read this for some of those thoughts), but the thing here I guess, it's a lot about how when the box exploded, the feelings are all over the place, Eddie sits back and lets Buck in. He talks about the way he's feeling in a way we don't really see Eddie do all that often and he leans on Buck through his recovery and the process of finding out how to not feel like there's no hope for himself and how to feel comfortable in his own skin again. And it's a lot about Buck and the way Buck is constant. Eddie feels like Buck is this steady presence in his life that can and does help Eddie move forward.

But the thing is, the shooting happened, Eddie realized things, Taylor Kelly (derogatory) happened, Taylor Kelly (derogatory) took herself out of the running, Eddie now has the tools to deal with his own emotions, he's single, Buck's single, they're having dinner with Chris at Buck's loft and Eddie is asking Buck about things Chris kept from him, but Eddie is in a fantasy bubble where he can pretend he has the things he wants without actually asking for anything to change. I mean, post therapy Eddie is better with his feelings, but he's still Eddie. He was in his little I have time bubble. That was violently popped. Because Buck died. And he had to save him. "Do more" is such a desperate thing for a first responder and former combat medic to scream at a team of doctors. He knows they always do the best they can. He did the best he could, but there's only so far he can go. The way he follows the gurney hurts me in so many ways. Some real don't go where I can't follow bullshit.

This is a man who watched Buck almost die multiple times. But this is also a man who never contemplated the possibility of Buck actually dying. The thing that drives me crazy about Eddie and everything surrounding Buck's death is that he can't look at it. He can't take his eyes off him, but once he's out of his sight he can't look at him again. He spends the whole time not looking at Buck. He looks away every time someone mentions it. Even when he's in the room with Chris he's not looking. 3 minutes 17 seconds. Look, this number bothers me. Bobby said they were 3 minutes out from the hospital and that it took 3 minutes to start compressions. So Buck was dead for 6 minutes. The rescue took 3 minutes. And Eddie counted. That's the only explanation for this particular number. He counted how long it took to get Buck to Chim and Hen and in the ambulance ready to go.

But Eddie was living comfortably in his bubble, I don't think he was at peace with it, but I do think he accepted it. But Buck wakes up, Buck seeks him out to help deal with the trauma. They look like a family, they act like a family, maybe it's not hopeless after all. Maybe Buck can feel the same and they can talk about it once Buck is not feeling so raw over his own death. Buck is just there all the time, something like that can't be one-sided, can it? But then Buck pulls the rug from under him. I made a very long post about the cemetery, you can read that one if you want, but the thing about that conversation is that it is a reminder that they are not on the same page. Because Buck throws him off balance again, considering the way Eddie was trying his hardest to be there for Buck just for Buck to say he's getting what he wants from a random woman he met a few days before. And it makes Eddie back away so he won't end up hurting his own feelings more. I think at this point Eddie has accepted the fact that he's going to have to be Buck's best man and is trying to find a way to be okay with it. So he's retreating to familiarity again. It explains why he's trying to recreate what he had with Shannon because he loved Shannon, so maybe if he found that again he wouldn't have to cut Buck off to move on. Because he needs Buck on some level but there is a limit on how much he can take while Buck goes around looking for something he already has.

And yes I talked and talked and talked but why does this mean Eddie fell first? Well, Buck will never figure it out on his own. The thing about Buck is that Buck doesn’t know what healthy love is. He thinks love is work, but in a it’s bleeding himself dry for someone way. He thinks love is pain. Eddie is safety. Eddie is home. He never knew home as a place where he can find love.

This is all for today. If you read this I love you. Also the doc I typed it out says it has over 4.3k words so this is long as fuck congratulations for sticking through it 🩷

[officialdaydreamer00]

Dear Star Child, if this letter could see it's way to Idia Shroud, I would be most grateful. If you could get the gummy sharks to Idia I would be very happy, but the rest of the sweets are for you ^w^

Dear Idia Shroud,

Wow, it has been a while since I've written a letter that's not for school. Nvm, I have never written a letter outside of school; guess I'm finally putting that knowledge to use… Oh where to to begin, I'm rlly bad at doing the whole social thing yet if you would let me I'd be yapping on for eternity but luckily this is a letter and I have to condense it.

Well, Happy New Year! How the sale going? From what I can see into your world it looks amazing especially Ortho's gear. I'm always so impressed that someone was able to make a robotic body that ranged in movement-- here it feels like we just barely started to touch on robotics here, yet you are designing outfits for Ortho like it's nothing. Honest question, did you bless me with luck for the gacha or something did you know I fell like right when the clock hit midnight or someth, but srsly getting three SSRs without even indenting on getting them is something? I had to get a blessing from you or something. My irl would say that is a blessing from you… they have said "At this point I'm scared your obsession with Idia will transport you into the game" well I do wi Imagine if that happened? I don't even know what I would do? I think I would miss my friends but idk if they would miss me.

ANYWAYS, thats sad, moving on. I could have actually missed all of this I could have been boring and sad and still stuck on my utdr phase. Though it wouldn't be too bad Undertale and Deltarune still have th- WAIT YOU ARE A PURE SOUL-- FREE FROM UNDERTALE SPOILERS. Well I know whats happening if I ever get isekai'd. Gosh I would love to actually sit beside you and watch you play games. It's almost fascinating watching someone who is good at games play… Ehe.. I rlly don't know how to end this? Thx for existing please continue to do that.

P.S. Rlly srry for an typos, I wrote this at like 3 am cause I woke up n couldn't go back to sleep.

~ Your moonlight

(HELP ITS 4:30)

oh I LOVE THE BLUE THEME!! had a bit of oopsie delivering this letter but it's all good!! ( ^-^)/ *

Hey Moonlight.

Ugh nvm that sounds cringe please ignore that-- You know I'm not good with this thing either, so I'm gonna ramble if you don't mind. (I hope you don't or it'd be so embarrasing hhhhhhh)

I guess because of our worlds' differences that you'd find Ortho's gears impressive. I mean, I still do, and he's my brother now, he's gotta have the best tech to accomodate his needs. Your world sounds lowkey slow if they haven't even scratched the basics of robotics yet. Still I gotta hand it to them for making a kinda gateway connecting our worlds together.

YOU GOT? THREE?? SSR CARDS OF ME??? IS THAT WHY I KEPT FAILING GACHA EVENTS?? BC MY LUCK WENT TO YOU???? /j but congrats ig. Hope my cards been helping you through the game(?) By the Sevens, that is so weird knowing that I'm just a game character in your world.

But anywho, ignoring that blatant spoiler of fandoms I've never heard of before, for some reasons, I don't exactly mind having someone like you playing games with me beside Ortho. Maybe it'd be easier to breathe than going out and socialise with normies ugh.

Help how do I end a letter Happy New Year, may you be blessed with luck through the gacha system ig.

Idia Shroud

tags: @identity-theft-101 @twistwonderlanddevotee @ameleii @vioisgoinginsane @cave-of-jade

remember to reblog if you enjoy my works!! ^-^

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being a "cheater" (even though my gf is the one I "cheated" with)?

Title sounds bad, but hear me out. Some background info: I (F25) left a very toxic relationship with my ex (F29) almost a year ago. We were together for 2 years and it was a very tumultuous and rocky relationship from the beginning. She convinced me I needed to leave my home state and move in with her 8 weeks into dating or she would break up with me, and I was stupid and in love and I did it. Then she would always hold the fact that she could kick me out over my head when we argued. I didn't like her taking my clothes without asking? She threatened to kick me out. I get mad that she's blasting her music when I'm trying to work? She threatened to kick me out. Really anything I said that she didn't like, she would threaten to kick me out. Even threw my stuff out on the front lawn a couple times.

And I admit, I wasn't a perfect angel in this relationship either. I felt powerless and resentful because it was impossible to bring up any grievances big or small with her, so I would intentionally break or hide her things. I was downright mean to her most days, and we were both physically violent with each other several times. Towards the end of the relationship I was sleeping in the floor in the living room because I couldn't stand to be near her, and if I slept on the couch she would push me off of it to sit and watch TV with friends she brought home late at night. It took me a while to leave because I was alone in a new state with nowhere to go, and I had to save up money to find a place. Like I said, it was a deeply toxic relationship on both sides, and I'm not proud of it and I'm in therapy trying to unpack what I did and what was done to me.

Now for the actual situation: one of my ex's friends who I'll call Emily (F27) was always very nice to me, and I would often complain to her about my ex and she would comfort me. I'll admit I started to develop feelings for her while I was still trying to work things out with my ex, and I even made out with her and nearly had sex with her once. But that made me feel extremely guilty and I stopped it, then stopped talking to Emily all together.

But when about 3 months after I moved into a new place Emily reached out to me online and we started talking again, then after another 3 months started tentatively dating. I say tentatively because I was very hesitant to go into any relationship after the fiasco with my ex, especially with Emily who is still friends with her. We would text and call each other daily and meet up to hang out a couple times a week.

We've been dating for about 6 months now and we've kissed and held hands, but that's about it. We haven't had sex. We haven't said I love you. We haven't even had a "what are we" talk yet, but Emily wants me to move in with her. I told her I wasn't ready for that. She says it would help both of us save money to live together and I should be comfortable with her by now, since we've been dating triple the time I was dating my ex when I moved in with her. I reminded her how well that turned out for me (not well at all!), and she said something that hit me like a ton of bricks: "Well, you're the cheater and I'm still taking the chance to trust you, so you should take the chance to trust me."

I asked her what she meant by that, and she said I'm not the one taking a risk in our relationship. She is, by dating someone who cheated on her dear friend (my ex). I said that wasn't exactly a happy healthy relationship, she said doesn't matter. Still a cheater. I said but I cheated with her! She said doesn't matter, still a cheater.

I hung up with her because I felt like I was going to be sick and she's been blowing up my phone asking if I'm alright and even apologizing and saying we can wait longer to move in together, but part of me is rethinking this whole relationship. She's been wonderful to me up till now, am I blowing things out of proportion? Is she trying to lure me into another toxic relationship? Please help, I feel like my ability to see red flags is still virtually nonexistent at this point :(

What are these acronyms?

[pedripics]

Pedri via Residency - July 18, 2024

How are you feeling? - "Incredible! Winning the Euros was crazy"

How is the injury? - "Better every day. I've just started my holidays, but I'm training every day to recover and start the season at the top of my game"

Winning the World Cup? - "I can't even imagine that feeling. It's the dream that every child who plays football wants to fulfil. I have already won LaLiga with Barça and now the Euros with Spain. Now on to the Champions League and the World Cup"

How did your family react to seeing you win the Euros? - "They were very happy! They were with us at every game of the tournament and at the celebrations"

Feelings for next season? - "Very good, both personally and as a team. It could be a great year"

Winning World Cup or Champions League? - "Why choose? That's like choosing between your dad and mom"

How did you feel when you were lying on the ground because of your injury? - "I knew what he had done to me that was going to stop me from playing. I was in pain and also annoyed that I had to stop because of the injury."

Do you like Japan? - "Yes! I like sushi... and I won an Olympic medal there"

Will Nico come to Barça? - "I have no answer to that question. What is clear is that he would be a great signing for Barça. He has shown what he is capable of in the Euros"

Would you play as a goalkeeper? - "Hahahaha that's what my father was there for. There is no need for more goalkeepers in my family"

Did you have a great time at the Euros celebrations? - "I had a crazy time, actually. It was a moment of celebration with the whole country after a great tournament. Although I had to take care of my knee at all times. The rest of the players didn't have that problem 🥲" (kroos i am gonna find you istg)

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? - "Well... playing football at the highest level, like now. In the future I want to start a family, but in 5 years i am not so sure"

Is it fun to do photoshoots? - "I always say no to my team and especially at the beginning I was embarrassed, but now I'm used to it. I try to have fun and have a good time, although I prefer a ball to a camera"

Advice when you suffer from your first big injury? - "Well, be patient, because in the end, with work and effort, the good times return"

Feelings for the new season? - "I think it's going to be really good. Now it's time to rest a bit and recover and get back to work as soon as possible under the orders of the new coach. We are sure that this new season will bring us a lot of joy."

Do you have a favourite female singer? - "Hora Cero, by Myke Towers, is the one I've liked the most lately... and of course 'Pedro' by Raffaella Carrá" (sir that's not an answer and we both know it lol)

Real Madrid will win La Liga again - "Veremos..."

Advice for young players? - "Have fun playing and try not to lose the things that street football gives you"

Favourite teammate? - "Ferran. The truth is, he is a great teammate and friend. He always supports me and gives me advice"

Is Ferran single? - "I would say so, unless he's gotten a girlfriend since Tuesday when I haven't seen him"

Your best friend? - "I have several. Dani, Fran and Rubén, who have been my friends since childhood"

Are you excited about the new Camp Nou? - "I am already looking forward to playing there again. Playing at the Camp Nou will surely help us on be on top... The visit impressed me, because of the project and because I saw how it works inside"

Where are you on vacation? - "As always, I am on holidays on my island, in Tenerife"

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Looking like my profile picture (a picture of him being bald)? - "Yessss. Everyone is asking me if I am going bald... one day I will, for sure! That's easier than having Cucurella's hair"

Dream vacation? - "Wherever it is, with my family and friends"

Who do you think will be the next Golden Boy? - "Lamine, 100x100"

Tea or coffee? - "I drink neither"

Are you learning English? - "I learnt a bit… let's see if after the holidays I really get into it and speak it properly soon"

Where did your obsession with bananas come from? - "It's not an obsession. It's true that i really like them and in the Canary Islands, it's a typical product used in many recipes"

What do you do so bad comments don't affect you? - "do things as good as possible. I know what I do and what I do not do; I cannot control what people say or invent"

You promised to grow a mustache. When will you do it? - "Maybe I am doing it these days and then I will share some photos" (NO PLEASE DON'T)

[inthedoghousern]

11:45

part III of just this once (I) and okay (II)

pairing: oscar piastri x driver!fem!reader

summary: all eyes are on you and oscar after the monaco paparazzi pictures, and the two of you haven't been in the same vicinity since that night. after weeks of avoiding it, you two confront one another and your feelings.

contains: some social media, swearing, angst, fluff, brief mention of sex.

3.8k words

a/n: was going to end this angsty but i only got 1 comment on my last post and it was someone who wanted another part... so this one is for you @andruuu28

f1gossipofficial

Liked by mclarenfan3744 and 88,402 others f1gossipofficial Oscar Piastri and Y/n Y/l/n spotted together after the Monaco Grand Prix.

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-

The rumors were in full effect. 

Your night with Oscar had taken social media by storm. The rumors were more than just you two being close friends, there was this notion going around that a potential romance was forming. 

The whole thing annoyed you, it was a moment that shouldn't have been public in the first place, a moment you should’ve been smart enough to avoid. 

It's been a few weeks now since Monaco, and you've done your best to keep the situation from growing even larger. No interaction with Oscar, denying any romance, reminding everyone that the two of you have known each other for years, that you're only colleagues and friends. Not everyone liked this response, especially since it's been clear that over the past few years, you and Oscar haven't really been friends, but rivals. But you stuck to the same explanation, and Oscar and McLaren gave the same one as well.

-

You're now sitting in a meeting with your PR team. Even though there have been multiple Grand Prixs since the photos started circulating, you were still getting questions about them. “If you're asked about it, don’t comment. If you feel the need to say anything, just remind them that you’ve known Oscar for years and you’re simply friends," your manager tells you. You nod in agreement.

You were used to having the spotlight all on you, but now you're having to deal with it being on you and Oscar together.

Your manager's advice had been to shut down the rumors and just focus on the races, it was the smartest move. But your mind couldn't help but drift to the memories of Oscar. You had known him for years and suddenly some pictures of one night in Monaco caused you two to be branded as more than friends by the public. It was all just so overwhelming. How being in the F1 world made every moment in your life a spectacle. 

“Alright…” your PR manager moves on, “speaking of Piastri, you have a panel with him today, alongside Tsunoda and Sargeant. Some sort of young driver thing.” 

Your heart drops a little, you'd been lucky enough up until this point that you hadn't had to do any media with him. You got to address the rumors, separately. The luck has run out. 

The panel was intended to showcase the young drivers, but now it was more than just a panel to you. You were scared it would become the focus of all the rumors and discussions about you two.

Obviously no one knew that the rumors had backing, that you had actually slept together, no one except you and Oscar. But it still made you nervous that you would be together, that every word you speak to each other during this conference, every look, is going to be dissected by fans and media looking to find out if there really is anything happening.

-

The walk to the panel brought you past fans and media alike. For the most part, they were asking questions regarding the races in the upcoming days, but one reporter got brave and decided to bring the rumors up.

"We all know about you two dating, when are you gonna go public with this relationship?" His question was loud enough to draw the attention of other reporters and fans. You're still walking as he asks, and the reporter is in step with you.

“Hey look, the only people I’m in love with out here are the ones who keep my car going fast,” you put your hands up in a joking surrender. You hope your humor towards the situation would show your indifference, make them see how ridiculous all the talk is. 

Your response was able to brush off the question without even really addressing the rumors. And it worked, he laughed at your joke and moved on, a few of the other reporters were even laughing at the joke, which made you feel a little bit better.

It was time to focus again because now you were nearing the panel and you still had to be focused on getting through it without all the attention being on you and Oscar.

You walk into the press room, journalists are sitting in their chairs, waiting for the proceedings to start. Out of the four of you, you're the first to arrive. One of the coordinators guides you to a seat and you put your mic on. You give a closed-lip smile and direct a nod at the room. Now it’s just time to wait for Oscar, Logan, and Yuki. 

The room was filled with chatter, the journalists were eager to get some insight into the young drivers of the grid. But the chatter soon dies down and the room becomes quiet, the silence only intensifying as Oscar walks onto the stage, followed by Logan and then Yuki. Because you were the first one to arrive, you were seated on the far end, and the coordinator that sat you led Oscar right next to you. Great.

-

As the MC introduces you all and opens the floor for questions, the photographers get busy snapping pictures of the panel. Oscar is right beside you, the two of you next to each other in full sight of the cameras, but he's busy looking straight ahead. So are you. 

He's trying to avoid eye contact with you, he doesn't want the cameras to catch on to how he wants to look at you.

A few questions come in from the journalists to each driver individually, Logan is asked a question, which he answers, and so does Yuki. You're asked a few about you're dynamic with Max, and Oscar is asked about his with Lando.

The panel continues to go around the room a few more times, when you, Logan, and Oscar are asked a question. 

“So, you three have been racing together for quite a long time”, he starts, “when can we expect a podium with the three of you? Imagine a moment like that!” He says passionately. I smile at his question. It was true, that during those early days of you and Oscar racing, Logan was there as well. You all had even driven for Prema together for a year. 

You answer first, “Logan when do you think…” you joke and lean forward to look at him. Your response is an obvious dig at him driving for Williams, a team that isn’t well-known for getting podiums. Even getting points. Logan gets the jab pretty fast.

Logan laughs and takes the bait, "Oh I can already feel a podium coming on this weekend," he jokes and everyone has a little laugh, including you and Oscar. 

You lean back again and reach to grab Logan’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “No shade, Sargent,” you smile. While reaching back to grab Logan, your arm brushes against Oscar’s back. 

Logan smiles back, he knows it was just a little joke and doesn't take it personally. Oscar, on the other hand, is sensitive to your touch and feels a spark go through him when you brush against him. He can feel his muscles and body tense up just a tiny bit, he masks it by joining in on the joke, turning and smiling at Logan as well.

-

As the panel wraps up, you both feel a sense of some relief. Things had gone rather smoothly and the reporters were satisfied. And no one asked any questions about the pictures of you in Monaco. 

Oscar was just glad the session was over, now he could finish the rest of his press obligations and go back to the hotel. But as he looks around, he still sees you sitting there, looking away talking to someone on your team, and he is partially in disbelief that you just sat through an entire panel with him, acting like there was nothing wrong. Because for him, he can't stop thinking about you, during the whole panel he was focused only on you.

In contrast, you're focusing on the conversation with your team member, completely turned away from Oscar. “Okay, yeah sure,” you answer to one of your manager's questions. You put the mic on the table and stand up.

Oscar looks away as you stand up, he hopes he wasn’t staring for a noticeable amount of time. He takes his mic off as well, standing up and making his way to the McLaren team. 

It was a brief moment of eye contact, but when your eyes met with his, you could feel the intensity of everything between you and Oscar all rush back into your chest. It was just a look, a look that said a thousand things. A look that told you and Oscar everything that had happened between you. 

You're the first one to break eye contact, and you both walk away, exchanging no words, as each of you sticks closely with your teams on your way out of the room. 

Just two people who've had a lot of tension between them who were now trying to pretend like none of it ever happened. But neither of you were good liars.

-

The next day, you go through practice sessions like normal. You do more interviews, debrief with the engineers. Nothing special. Just business as usual. 

It's now later in the day and you're back at the hotel sitting on a couch, just scrolling on your phone, trying to let your mind relax. A few Red Bull employees had been sitting with you earlier, but they had all left to do their own thing at this point. You have been alone for a few minutes now, but you're suddenly disrupted by someone sitting next to you, his presence makes you tense up as you know who it is.

“Hey.” He says. “Hi.” You respond almost reluctantly.

Oscar could tell that you weren't really happy about him sitting down next to you, and he should leave, he shouldn't have even sat down, but he was going to stay for a little bit to at least attempt to have this conversation. 

He sat in silence for a few moments after you responded, before finally saying, "How were your sessions today?”

“Pretty good,” I answer. “What about you?”

"Yeah, mine were fine too." 

Very successful conversation. You both sit in silence again, and you look back at your phone. 

"How long are we going to avoid the obvious?" Oscar finally says, getting to the reason he sat down next to you in the first place.

You put your phone down. “I don’t know…” you trail off. “But it seems like whatever we’re doing now has diverted the media off our trail," you half-joke. You dance around his question. You're scared to talk about it. 

Oscar was tired of pretending, it was killing him to keep quiet and act as if nothing had happened. He didn't know how much longer he could take it. 

"That's not what I meant, you know what I'm talking about..." he said softly, his eyes just looking straight into you, trying to get you to look at him.

You lean your head on the back of the couch. You don’t meet his eyes yet. “Oscar I already told you… it was one time… we shouldn’t have let it even happen.” You're not sure if you really mean that, but you do regret that it was a door that you allowed to open. A door that you don’t want to close, but you have to. 

Oscar sighs, your excuses are falling on deaf ears right now. 

"Sure, we shouldn't have let it happen, but it did. So why are we pretending like it didn't? This is ridiculous." He said, his voice not raising, but you could tell he was annoyed with you.

"Is this really what you're gonna say every time we're together like this? That it was just one time? Because I'm not satisfied with that answer anymore."

“Okay okay," you surrender. “Look if we need to just talk this out, for once and all, get it out of our systems, fine. You tell me what you need to say. But you know we can’t do it here.” You lift your head and finally look at him. If he wanted to talk, okay. But you had worked so hard to dispel the rumors, and having a heart-to-heart in this hotel lobby where anyone could catch a listen was counterproductive. 

Oscar nods, he knows he can't really say anything in here either, too many ears, too many eyes. But he has been holding this in for a while, all of his emotions and thoughts building up over the past weeks.   

He wanted to talk through it, even just a little. "Okay. Where then?”

One of your hotel rooms was the obvious answer. But there was no way you were even going to consider that, not after what you two had already done together. It was too dangerous, too much could happen between you two if you were allowed to have each other all to yourselves.

You think. “There’s a pool here right? I’ll find out when it closes.” 

Sitting on the pool deck, outside, in public, seemed like a much safer location for you and Oscar’s impending conversation. Even if it was closed and no one was there, there was always the threat of someone showing up, passing by. Private enough to say what you needed to say, public enough to control yourselves. “I’ll text you when. Then just meet me there,” you tell him. 

Oscar was surprised that you suggested a place that was even more public. But it was a good solution because you are right. If your conversation was in a closed-off room somewhere, then there was always the chance that one of you would let yourself get carried away again. 

In a public space, with even the smallest probability of someone coming by, you two would be forced to keep your distance. 

"Alright," Oscar says, standing up and leaving the lobby.

-

to: Oscar Piastri

11:45pm.

from: Oscar Piastri (1 new message)

11:45.

-

The time comes and you slip into the pool area, trying to be discreet considering that it’s closed. And because you're meeting Oscar. He’s already here sitting on the edge of the pool. 

When you arrive, he looks straight at you, there is no need to try hiding anything right now. The whole situation was already obvious and you both knew what conversation was incoming, what it was going to be about. 

You don’t say anything as you walk over. Neither does he. You sit down next to him and put your feet in the pool, he does the same and keeps his legs straight so he doesn't accidentally touch your legs. There is a small amount of space between you two and you both stay quiet. 

“So…” you don’t know what to say. He seemed like he had something to get off of his chest in the lobby. You should just tell him to spit it out, but you don’t want to be hostile. Be mean. The whole situation is really fucking with your head already but you don’t want to make it seem like he’s the only one with feelings to express. Things to say. Just because you've been avoiding him, you've been better at acting like it didn’t happen, didn't mean you weren't constantly thinking about that night, thinking of him.

You can see he's not entirely sure where to start either. "Can we just skip all the bullshit and not pretend like we don't know what is going to be discussed in this conversation?" Oscar asked, just being blunt from the start. His eyes looking straight into yours, they were piercing, it showed to you that he was serious about discussing this right away.

You're taken aback by his response. You weren't expecting him to be so forward, maybe you should have. 

“Fine.” You turn and look at him. He should be the one to speak his peace first. He’s the one who pushed for this meeting back in the lobby. But you're sick of avoiding the confrontation. You'll confess first. 

“Oscar, I don’t regret Monaco. If I'm being honest with myself, I want it to happen again. But don’t you understand why I say it can’t happen again? You’ve been here, almost every step of my career. You know how hard it’s been for me. Not just in the car. And it’s stupid that it would be a big deal if we got together. Stupid that people are going to use it as a way to justify not taking me seriously. But you know it will happen. Just those pictures of us in Monaco were hell for me.” I pause and look forward. “And I don’t want to sneak around. Watch my back every time we are together.” You move your feet through the water.

Oscar listens to you with an intense look on his face.

“I understand. And you’re right, they’re always going to talk,” he responds. You look at him. “It’s inevitable. It’s not fair. But that’s how we’re living. I know you're concerned about your career and reputation, but you’re at the top. You’re a great driver. So fuck them," he says looking back at you.

You sit quietly, waiting for him to continue. 

“I’m sick of pretending like my feelings don’t exist, I don’t care if everyone talks about me and our relationship or rumors or whatever, I don’t have anything to prove to anyone.” The floodgates are open now. 

“I want to try. If you’ve already made up your mind and you’re done with this, then cut me lose now.“

Your mind is working overtime. You're trying to process his words and process your reaction to them. You know he’s right. If you keep running from relationships because you're scared of what people think, you're going to be alone until you retire. But your mind still runs to headlines. *McLaren and Red Bull. Competitors or Lovers?*. It’s not just the fans, the media. What about your teams? There’s no way things won’t get uncomfortable.

Oscar can tell your mind is racing, it's hard to take everything in so suddenly. If something were to happen between the two of you, you were right, a lot would change. 

But Oscar believed it was worth a shot. 

“What happened between us was only one night. But usually when people feel how we’r– I’m feeling, they get to explore that...” Oscar cringes slightly at his words. He's saying exactly what he means, but it sounds so corny out loud. 

“What I’m trying to say is that we could decide to actually spend more time together. Give us a shot. And it's a real possibility it just doesn’t work.” He looks up, trying to find the rest of the words to verbalize what he’s feeling. “But we can’t know that unless we try.”

He finishes his speech and looks away, his head lowered. The words were finally out there, there was no hiding from those feelings anymore. 

You can't find any words. He cannot look at you. All you two can do is sit there, waiting for the other to make the next move.

You look at the side of his face. His freckles and moles you had once traced. His hair. It was messy again, maybe he was running his hands through it before you got here. You continue staring at him, just examining.

Eventually, you look back at the pool. You sit for a moment before moving your feet in the water, tapping Oscar's next to you. 

He felt your foot lightly touch him in the water. He looks into the pool and he gives a small smile. His eyes travel to your leg, close to his now, and he pushes his lightly back into you. 

You still aren’t looking at each other as your legs keep touching in the pool. And now you can feel his hand nearly touching yours, and you inch it closer. You feel his slight touch back as your pinkies are now intertwined. 

It was so still and so quiet. All you could hear was the slight trickle of water, your legs and hands lightly touching, and the occasional small breeze that came by. 

You don’t know how long it's been when you finally turn to Oscar. He’s still looking at the pool. Your heart is beating faster and faster and you've made your decision. Is it the right one? Is there even a right decision in this situation? You don’t know. 

You move your hand away, your pinkies no longer intertwined. 

Oscar felt you move away, feeling a tinge of pain, it seemed like you decided to leave. 

He stays still, facing the pool. 

You linger for a second before you begin to trace your fingers on his back and up along his neck.

He looks over at you when you do this. Now that he's facing you, you run your fingers through his hair and rest a hand on his face, your thumb caressing his cheek. 

Oscar shudders slightly as your fingers go through his hair, it's such a tender and sweet gesture. His breathing started to slow, the tension that had built up this whole time and throughout this conversation was now subsiding. He can feel you gently touching his face and it feels so natural.

His hand now finds your face, lightly brushing a piece of hair behind your ear and then resting on the back of your neck. You turn your body more completely now, bringing one of your legs out of the pool, bent in between you two, while the other still floats.

Oscar feels your leg come out of the pool and is placed in between the two of you, the both of you are practically pressed together now. 

You feel his hand caress the back of your neck, as he draws you closer to him. You lean closer too. No words have been exchanged but it’s clear you've both made your decision. It’s almost as if with your simple action of leaning closer, a secret agreement between the two of you was silently accepted.

Your heads are touching now, your legs pressed tight between the two of you. No words need to be spoken to prove it, something had happened and now it was time for you both to embrace it.

You kiss him. Finally. 

He kisses you back.

Maybe this was the wrong decision. Maybe not. Either way, right now you and Oscar couldn't care less. All you wanted in this moment was him. All he wanted was you. The worries of being caught, the reactions of fans, your teams, and the media, and the fear that whatever this is would just be a fling, dissolved in the kiss. You were the only two people who mattered at this moment, the only ones who knew how you were feeling and what you had gone through just to be in each other's arms again. 

And as Oscar pulls you closer and smiles into the kiss, you know for a fact that this is the best decision you've ever made. 

-

f1gossipofficial

Liked by user4337 and 98,963 others f1gossipofficial McLaren's Oscar Piastri and Red Bull's Y/n Y/l/n spotted together again in the night leading up to the qualifying sessions of the Belgian Grand Prix.

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landonorris oh wow (deleted by author)

a/n: the end 😄 they are such idiots, how are you about to get caught AGAIN after your whole plan was to be incongnito!

[harrysmimi]

Sugar

Synopsis: One where YN is dragged along by Harry for Coachella but she ain't complaining

CW: smut

More of my work

YN never expected to ever step a foot outside of London until she has graduated and spent at least fifteen years of her life practicing Law until Harry asked her - no basically dragged her along with him to LA.

Who was Harry to her you may ask? He didn't liked the title but it is the truth that he's basically her sugar daddy.

He liked to say he is sponsoring her education for nothing in return. And it is also true that he hasn't gotten anything in return. Yet. Nor he expects it.

What an amazing sugar daddy he is!

But it eats away at YN's mind and heart seeing how much he spends on her. Her tuition fees and textbooks eat majority of what he spends on her. His hard earned money, he spent all his teenage years earning to be spent on her like pouring water into a river - it was pointless.

And exactly, it made no sense!

Not to her, when he doesn't expect anything in return from her, like other sugar daddies do, he expects no sexual favours or even public outing in return. But she was drowning in debt from her car loan, student loan and she was three months behind her rent and was just two days away from getting evicted from the flat she has been living in since she was eighteen. Her two jobs she worked weren't enough to get her by, even if she cut down on most essential things.

When and how Harry came as her saviour? How has her life been before they met each other? Those are stories for another time.

But she is really in fear of when his mood would strike and he'd ask her to suck his dick off for him, or fuck her to oblivion. Well, he doesn't seem that kind of guy but she has got major trust issues. Especially since this guy she dated tried to take her advantage when she was drunk her ass off, luckily for her that night her friends were with her. But men her whole life have been very unpredictable to her.

Apart from making out a couple of time, her and Harry haven't done anything. That too with her consent. He doesn't even holds her hand without asking her. He's nothing but just so kind, and nurturing, and caring, and soft, and calm, and patient, and the list goes on. But could it be a mask for something which doesn't or wouldn't favour her.

One thing she takes with her into getting in her career is fo never trust anyone. That's what she has been doing her whole life. She learned to never trust anyone at the very tender age of six.

Harry has, no doubt become first constant in her life. If not anything more he's a good friend. A very good friend, she might add.

And spoiler alert, she would admit that she has fallen for him hard.

There was a big internal turmoil she found herself in as she stepped on that private get with him that night. It was scary because she doesn't remember being on a plane, let alone a private jet with sofa like seats.

But she tried to negotiate in not going to LA with him. She fears. She fears of dying somewhere and her friends being unknown of that. What if he is a serial killer as well as a global star? You never know!

"But what about DumDum?" She asked, packing a duffle bag Harry got her last minute with a sweater and other small things as her only suitcase she own is full and very small for a two week long trip. "I can't leave him alone."

"That cat will be taken care of, sugar, don't worry about him." Harry sighed as he sat patiently on the edge of her bed.

"He is not just a cat, he is my son!" YN argued as she threw everything of makeup she owns in a small pouch. Yes she found that black ball of purring fur beside a dumpster not even a month ago, but she loves him very much - and the feelings are mutual! "Where is he going?"

"To the cat hostel." He shrugged.

"You are not sending my baby to a hostel. He is too young!" She gasped, "maybe, I shouldn't go. He needs me here."

"You are making bad excuses, Sugar, now stop stalling, we have to leave in ten minutes." Harry chuckled as he got up to gather the rest lf her stuff, her carry on bag pack he sees her carry everywhere she goes and her suitcase, and even put DumDum in his carrier. "There is a surprise for you there, come on now."

YN stood there on the other side of her bed, with a nervous and scared face, making him ask, "do you trust me?"

"No," she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" He enquired.

"I said, I can't afford the trip." She gulped, nervously. Harry kept the bag aside and set DumDum's carrier carefully on the floor before he walked upto her.

"Look, I won't force you anymore." He assured her, "wanted to keep this a surprise but, since you won't trust me. I'm taking you there with me is because Billie Eilish is performing there, and I can take you to watch her."

"What?"

"Mhmm," he nodded, "you appear to like her a lot, so yeah, I thought that would be a good early present for m'kitten."

"Wait, I, I don't like her." YN stuttered, deadass lying on his face but all he did was look down.

She was dressed Billie Eilish merch, a large Tshirt and sweat pants. There was a poster of the girl on her wall and her album vinyls too, even though she doesn't have a record player.

Harry also remembers her running back home after finding the things she's wearing at a thrift store, ranting and squealing about it and how good of a steal it was to both her best friends on a phone call as he waited for her to let him in with her.

Harry sent off DumDum with his other manager Tommy to be signed into a cat hostel.

To focus on one thing, YN is very nervous to fly in a plane for basically first time. It was killing her soul. She just sat there, looking like a scared little puppy in a corner seat when she got to know she can sit wherever she pleases.

"Hey, what's wrong love?" Harry asked.

"I'm just nervous to be on a plane." She shared, a sheepish smile on her face. He sat next to her.

"Here, you can hold my hand. But you've got nothing to worry about." He assured her, "our pilot is amazing, he's flown me many times around the world." He strapped her seat belt for her as she was fiddling with it.

"Oh, has he?"

"Mhmm." Harry nodded, "so it's okay, I know you worry a lot." He went to put on his own seatbelt.

"You're lying." She deadpanned.

"About what I'm lying you think?"

"That you know the pilot." She squinted her eyes at him, "Harry don't lie to me about this, it is going to make me more anxious. I might literally throw up on the floor."

He chuckled, "my love, wouldn't lie about this. I care about you, so of course I don't lie. Not to you at least."

"So you do lie?"

"What about we watch your favourite movies?" He suggested to distract her switching the subject.

Once about halfway to LA, YN was still anxious.

"YN, it's okay, love." Harry cooed, "I'm sorry I forced you to come along with me."

"No, I'm fine." She sniffled on her tears, taking in deep breaths.

Harry was genuinely feeling bad for dragging her along with him. He wasn't aware of her this fear or he would have never even mention it twice to her. All eight months he have spent with her, he'd come to conclusion that she's naturally very anxious person, that she is paranoid most of the time.

"We're almost there," he assured her. "I'm sorry again, love."

"Harry, no, it's okay." She cooed in attempt to make him feel better about this. It wasn't his fault that she's scared of her first time on a plane since she was a toddler. It was no one's fault.

"Do you want to get pizza after we land?" He asked, she loves pizza more than anything.

"I'd like that." She nodded.

"Thought so," he smiled pressing a kiss of her head.

There was definitely something reciprocated from his side, or at least that's what she likes to think about. The way he looks at her doesn't fail to make her skin heat up, or the way he call her all his sweet names. Her favourite was Bunny or Kitten.

Her friends would argue otherwise that it was normal for her fall for him when they're sleeping together and he's essentially taking care of her in a way, which isn't entirely true. He hasn't touched her in that way. Though she could feel the sexual tension in the room they're in.

Like now, as she sat next to him, hugging his arm as he read his book silently. He's a big reader she reckoned. He's always reading some or other book. She can never do that. He pulls it off too, with a pair of reading glasses perched up on his perfect nose.

She didn't realise when she fell asleep, but Harry woke her after they landed, she is indeed a heavy sleeper as he says. She didn't wake up when their plane landed.

"Did you had a good sleep, babylove?" He enquired, a sleepy look on his own face as he smiled at her.

"Yeah," she nodded smiling back. Harry leaned down to press another kiss on her head.

"C'mon love, let's go to our hotel now." He grabbed her stuff for her like a true gentleman he is out of the plane and handed it to one his guard so it can be put into the car.

YN was expecting a different room for herself but Harry had different plans she reckoned, they'd have to share a room. A suite to be exact, which was so fucking luxurious it made her own rented one bedroom flat like a dumpster in comparison.

It had it's own kitchen, a living room, a balcony, bedroom and en suite bathroom, a whole ass walk in closet! The sofa looked so luxurious she wouldn't mind switching it up with her bed at home.

"Are we going to share a room?" She asked.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about it, but yes, there are no more suites available whilst our stay here on this floor." Harry shared.

"Oh," was her reaction.

"Can get you different room on another floor if you're ot comfortable." He suggested.

"It's fine, I guess." She shrugged dropped her carry on bag on the floor as she checked out the room. She doesn't want him to spend on another room for no reason. She so badly wanted to jump on the bed and do a bounce test but she was afraid to break the frame as everything looked so expensive.

Her friends would have gone nuts at the site of this room alone, destroy the perfectly made bed in a matter of minutes. She'd join them too, without any hesitation!

Just as she was about to go to the balcony she felt a tug on her hand. Harry had pulled her in, he took a seat on the edge of the bed they were to share for their entire trip. He trapped her between his thighs, making her sit on his lap. It wasn't a new thing for him to be physical with her, she quite liked it. Afterall she's been deprived of physical touch with human her whole life, so she'd shamelessly indulge into his cuddles, and even sweet little kisses.

This all had no label to it, as he doesn't like the idea of giving their relationship a label of Sugar Daddy and Sugar baby. He hates that for some reason. Maybe she can call it friends with benefits? But they're lacking the benefits part to the major on his side.

She grabbed a gentle hold of his hand which was wrapped around her waist from behind to her side, he wasn't wearing his usual rings so it was easier for her slip her fingers between his. Feeling his warm palm against her own gave her a sense of security in some way. Which she doubts is healthy, to be dependent on someone like this, her therapist would agree to that if she even had one. But she doesn't care.

"Do you want to go get dinner tonight with me?" He asked.

"Mhmm," she nodded.

"What do you feel like eating, sugar?" He spoke, his mouth closer to her skin of her neck as he peppered her with ticklish kisses.

"I don't know," she shrugged, smiling, "I'll tell you when I decide."

"Yeah? I was going to say we go eat some Lebanese food?" He suggested, lifting his head up to look at her. He knows that's her favourite cuisine to have, the look on her face was what he was expecting.

"Yes!" She beamed.

"Thought you'd like the idea." He teased, "do you want to rest whilst I get few things sorted for the show tomorrow?"

"I'm fine, I'll just go take a shower." She said.

"Okay," he kissed her cheek, "wear something pretty for tonight, yeah?"

She just nodded dumbfounded. He has never asked her to wear something "pretty" before. It was not something she was expecting coming from him. What did he meant by that? Something pretty on the outside or inside?

She was going to embarrass herself if he meant something pretty inside with her granny panties.

She decided to stick to her usual regardless. She didn't packed anything necessarily pretty thinking she's not going to need any as being their normal self was something she was actually expecting.

None the less, the dinner was amazing!

"Harry, no!" She whined when she stole a Felafel from her plate, so in return she stole a Kebab from him.

"You're stealing."

"You started it."

And they play argued about it all night. Going back and forth from stealing from each other's plates, but ending up sharing anyway. Harry decided they walk back to their hotel, he was quite liking the weather he said.

He loves to walk, and she's not used to that much walking but she isn't going to complain because she is having an amazing time. By the end of the night, YN stopped him halfway on their way back to hotel to take off her heeled shoes.

"Here lemme do it," he crouched in front of her, placing her hand he had in his on his shoulder as he proceeded to take off her shoes for her.

"Harry you don't have-"

"Shush!" He sounded, "do you want to wear mine?"

"No, I can walk barefoot." She said, "thank you," watching him so focused in untying her shoes and not getting the lace tangled was so adorable to her. A stray curl managed to plop out of the mop of hair he had gelled down earlier to keep tame, he needed a hair cut he said but honestly she liked his hair like that. It was a bummer she did not felt she had the right to tell him that she should maybe opt not to cut it, she is not his girlfriend after all.

She tried to take her shoes from him but he did let her as he grabbed her hand with his free one again stood up.

"No problem," he pressed a soft kiss on the full of her mouth.

"Harry, we're on a street." She reminded her as he started walking again. All of a sudden he was now tall again to her being flat on her feet again.

"Are you afraid of PDA?" He scoffed confusedly.

"No, but allegedly you've got a girlfriend, you can't be caught like this." YN said.

"I could care less about it." Sighing, he draped his arm around her shoulder as he pulled her closer to him. Instead of feeling remorse she gave into the warmth radiating from him, she wouldn't want to be involved with him if he were in a relationship, it's just those PR articles which made her feel bad sometimes.

Once back in the hotel room, Harry let her go finally so she can get ready for bed.

"When did you get these?" Harry asked placing her shoes on aside.

"They're my friend's I borrowed for this trip." YN shared.

YN was having a good day, she decided as she managed to wash her make-up off without getting anything in her eyes and having a burning eye until morning. Her hair was acting amazingly. Her PJs felt more comfy tonight. The sheets on their bed were changed she noticed, they were nice and cold and cosy when she got under waiting for Harry who was taking way too long, she was going to fall asleep then and there.

"Did you had a good time today?" Harry asked when he got out of the shower, agressively rubbing his hair dry with his microfiber towel, a pair of basketball short hung on his hips. These little things about him were making her fall hard for him, uncontrollably.

It was going to be hard on her when things come to end with him eventually in future she reckoned. But she was going to cherish every moment of it till it lasts, she also decided.

"Don't rub on your hair like that!" She exclaimed. He just shrugged and threw his towel on the spare chair with rest of his random clothes there and got in bed next to her. He's a messy one and it for sure trigger her OCD in some matters.

"Why did you ask me to wear something pretty?" YN asked, catching him off guard. She isn't this unpredictable.

"Why? Are you wearing something pretty?" He counter questioned, brows furrowed in anticipation.

"No!" She had a sheepish look on her face, regretting ever asking that question, "I didn't bring anything pretty with me." That earned a heart chuckle from him.

"I don't expect you to, sugar okay?" He assured her. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable asking that."

"You just caught me off guard." She not so subtly scooted closer to him, "it's okay."

"Yeah?" He sounded, taking her in his arms gladly, "I wouldn't mind seeing you in something pretty you know? You look pretty in anything in my opinion."

"Shush, stop it now go to sleep you've got a show tomorrow." She put an end to this conversation. She is embarrassed okay!

......................................................................

YN felt left out most of the time when she's surrounded by people Harry have known for years. All of them are older than her. She doesn't know many of them. Most of them look at her like she's some alien. Just the girls from the love band really put in effort to be nice to her and actually talk to her kindly from Harry's team. Especially Harry's manager and his wife and his pretend partner gave her constant side eyes. She feel out of place.

She didn't wanted to be there. She felt cold of a sudden, maybe it was the skimpy crop top she wore today deciding it's going to be hot. She even tried to distract herself by going to the Pleasing store there and even getting her nails done even though she never liked it one bit. It made everything worse when she saw Harry having lunch with the woman she felt so jealous of, for a few pictures whilst she was gone. He then was dragged over for the sound check for the night.

She'd put so much effort into her look today for the first time in life. She wore the crop top she crocheted herself, even did her makeup, red eyeliner with cherries and strawberries under each one winged out pigment she spent and hour drawing this morning. But now she just wanted to and bury herself in piles of blankets and disappear from the face of the planet.

"Harry?" YN went over to him when he was done. She grabbed onto the hem of the yellow Pleasing hoodie he was wearing to tug on it to get his attention.

"Yes, my love?" He gave her his undivided attention without any hesitation, "you look so red, did you not put on any sunscreen, baby?" He was already dragging her to the shade by his trailer she thought but instead he took her inside. "Are you okay?"

"I want to go back to our hotel." She said, looking for her carry on she left somewhere.

"Are you okay?" He repeated his question.

"I just want to go back, I don't want to be here. Does it look like I am okay?" She snapped panicking to find her bag so she can leave.

"Hey, hey, sit down here." He made her sit on the sofa there, "what is going on? It's alright, you know you can tell me, baby." He assured her, "you trust me?"

"I just don't like the way they treat me." She admitted. He watched as the corners of her mouth started tucking down with a sad pout becoming more prominent as she tried to hold back her tears.

"Who are they you're talking about, sugar?" He really got worried, because he wouldn't want anyone to treat someone who's become so dearly precious to him badly. Especially given the setting of things they had agreed verbally upon to be in with one another. "Is it just one person?"

"I don't want to name any names, Harry, I just want to be alone now." She really seemed on the edge of a breakdown now. "Find my bag please?" She now felt the heat her body was disguising during her moment of panic, she started sweating all of a sudden, her lips have turned white till then.

"I'm not letting you be alone like this, look at you." He sighed, quickly fetching her a bottle of water from the portable fridge. He had never seen her like this since he first saw her at the bar in the hallway to the bathroom about to pass out, that's how he met her, took her out to the fresh air and gave her water. She wasn't crying that night but she was in same state of anxiety.

"No, I just want to go back." She mumbled quietly.

"C'mere." He ushered her towards him wrapping her up in his arms once again. She was quick to bury her face in his chest, even sobbing when she felt the weight of his hand on the back of her head caressing her hair. That one gesture made every anxious feeling she carried about him and her in a second. "Hey it's okay." He decided it's better to have that moment until she calms down herself. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Not now." She shook her head.

"You still want to go back to hotel?" He asked.

"Yes, please!"

"Okay, come on we'll get you there now, yeah?"

Despite her protesting that she can go by herself, Harry drove her to the hotel himself. Made sure she was still doing okay before he left for the show tonight.

"YN, you feeling okay now?" He asked. She has been lying in bed from past three hours with AC on full blast with the blanket pulled over to her ear with her back faced to him.

She was feeling horrible. For having a sudden breakdown whilst he was just trying to work. She did not expected to have this kind of reaction to hear Jamie, his pretend girlfriend and his manager Jeffery, talk shit about her behind her back like that. She has bad that happen to her all her life. This one got to her because those were complete strangers to her with very false assumptions about her. Her mind was racing again.

Maybe she should just...

"YN, talk to me baby." She was interrupted by Harry, she could feel his warmth and weight on her upper bod. Realising he was leaning onto her as if to hug her. He likes his hugs and never compromises on them, but he's heavy even though he appears to be dainty and delicate in person. He's six feet tall for gods sake and her five and half feet body could take so much of that weight.

"You're heavy." She mumbled.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He chuckled moving away just enough so she can trun on her back, "you're feeling okay now?"

"A little." She nodded, earning herself an affectionate kiss on the apple of her cheek.

"You want to come see me then at the show?" He asked, hopeful that she'd go because he's got a tiny surprise for her.

"I don't know." She said hesitantly. "I'm sorry."

"You want to tell me why, hm? Never seen you cry like that before, sugar, is everything okay?" He requested, stressing on the subject a bit more. He knew someone was being rude and mean to her and he needed to know who it was.

"I heard Jamie and Jeffery talking about how I'm taking advantage of you, and I'm hogging all your money. You just don't see that according to them." She blurt out feeling safe to be vulnerable enough to share how she was truly feeling and what and who made her feel that way, "I just don't want to deal with that and please don't say anything to either them. I want to stay in. That really made me upset because somewhere it's the truth."

"Oh my little love," he sighed, "that's not true. No one can tell me what to do with my earnings, you're not hogging all of it, okay? Don't let get to you please? No one can tell you what you feel is wrong or what you do is wrong unless you're not hurting anyone. You're the kindest and sweetest one I've met in painfully long time, I've never once felt that you're taking advantage of me. In fact if it were anyone else they'd probably ask for more than what I have to offer, you put up a fight against me if I try to get you something, that's enough for me to trust you, okay? What we have is not anyone's business to talk about but us."

"Since we're being vulnerable here, I want to tell you that you become very precious to me. I've grown to care about you." He grabbed her hand in a gentle hold, as he pushed her hair out her face with his free hand. "I am sorry for not listening to you here, but I'm going to have a conversation about this with Jeffery. He's my friend doesn't mean he can talk shit about people I care for, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded, "thank you. And I'm sorry. I promise I'll return you every penny I've borrowed once I have a proper job after graduation. And ehm-"

"Don't talk about that." He interrupted her, "now do you still want to stay in here? I was hoping you'd come see me play, Shania Twain is performing with me."

That made her freeze there. She's been obsessed with Shania Twain since she met Harry, he introduced her to the artist and she's never stopped listening to her since. But she'd still rather stay in than even see Jamie's face for saying those disgusting things about her which Harry doesn't know and will never know.

"I'll watch it from here." She suggested, "I just really don't want to go there, want to be alone."

"Okay, I won't force you." He agreed, "you want me to order you something for dinner?"

"I think I'll go out to this restaurant I saw," she shrugged, "before your performance starts."

"You promise you're going to eat?" He asked.

"I promise." She held out her small pinky making him giggle, he wrapped his own around hers and kissed it to seal their promise.

"You got your nails done?" He beamed seeing her red and baby teal blue shade, "even like your makeup and this pretty top you made. You're so talented, baby." He leaned down to pepper her face with sloppy wet kisses, making her giggle, "I am gonna steal it from you."

"I'll make you one so we can match." She suggested.

"Yeah?" He looked at her, "I'd love that, kitten."

"I think you should go before you manager calls you." She reminded him. He dropped his head low sighing, their cheeks touching each other she could feel his stubble poke against her skin.

He didn't wanted to leave her alone!

"Don't wait up for me, okay? I'll leave as soon as I am done." He mumbled before lifting himself up from her finally, press a tender kiss on her mouth and then on the corner of her lips.

"Okay." She nodded.

......................................................................

Harry came back by around half past one, found the bedroom lights in the suite turned off. But he saw a yellowed blue-light of phone illuminating YN's face there as she lied on their shared bed texting.

"Hi lovie, you didn't sleep?" He walked over to her not bothering to turn on the lights and ruin the calm atmosphere she had created in there.

"No, I was talking to Brielle. She said your performance was amazing." YN shared as she sat up and locked her phone when he sat next to her there.

"Thank her from me." He smiled, "I'll go and shower, okay? Be with you in ten."

"Take your time." She said. He was still wearing the outfits he wore whilst performing, "I really like your outfit."

"Thank you baby, I knew you're gonna like it." He beamed glanced down at his outfit once. "Go to bed now, we're going out tomorrow morning."

"Mhmm." She nodded, "I want a kiss."

"C'mere then," with his hand behind her neck he drew her closer to him with a tilt to her head, he connected their mouths together. Keeping it short and sweet for now he pulled away but got a kiss on his cheek. "Is that enough to hold you off till I shower?"

"Mhmm." She nodded again, he pressed another little peck on her mouth before retrieving entirely.

"I'll be back, yeah?" He ran to shower gathering a change of clothes, just a pair of boxers and basketball shorts he liked to wear to bed.

He looked very happy. He sang songs from his new album tonight which she's heard before, he played the album to her after he was fully done by it to get her views on it as she hardly listened to his music. Seeing that dimpled smile of his warmed her heart so much.

She got out of bed to go fetch the little chocolate cake pastries she got for dessert but saved to share it with. She did went out to get dinner, ate some nice Gnocchi, on her way back she stopped at a bakery to get the last slice of chocolate cake. It's been sitting in the mini fridge of the hotel room since. She was proud of herself to say the least for going out on her own and ordering for herself. Ordering her meals or coffee gave her serious anxiety, resulting her to more home cooked meal which took pride in, but when she was feeling shit and didn't wanted to cook she'd just had settle on a pizza she'd order from an application so she wouldn't have to talk to a person on a phone call. She was feeling shit today but still made an effort to go out herself.

"Did you get dinner baby?" He asked as he came out of the shower, towel drying his hair quite vigorously.

"Yes. And I got us cake!" She announced earning a confused glance from him. "What?"

"You really went out?" He asked even though the cake from a bakery was very big evidence she did. "There was nothing charged on my card."

"You gave me your card three months to get you coffee on my way back from errands once and refuse to take back doesn't mean I'm going to use it." She proceeded to take out a slice of cake for herself from the box because it looked so fucking delicious and she couldn't wait, he went back in the bathroom for some reason.

"I gave it to you for the exact reason. Haven't yet got the time to get you one with your name." He sat next to her, dipping his head down he have a kiss on her cheek. "I am so proud of you for going out on your own, sugar." It was the truth. She'd only go out to eat when with him (or her best friend Brielle a handful of times), he ordered for her everytime knowing pretty well she'd rather stall all night that actually talk to a waiter to tell them what she wants to eat at their restaurant.

"Thank you." She smiled. "Did you had your dinner?"

"Mhmm." He nodded, proceeded to ask, "What else did you do today?"

"I stayed in bed and watched you perform. Shania looked so pretty!" She shared. "Also did a little face mask."

"Without me?" A little upset pout took over his lips.

"We can do one tomorrow." She suggested taking his faux-upset look to heart, but he grinned not bothering to correct her adorable concern. She offered him a bite of the cake on the one-time-use wooden spoon which he gladly accepted, she got it for both of them to share. "It's so good, isn't it?" She searched his face for a reaction excitedly.

"It is baby." He agreed. "Too sweet for me though, you can have the rest."

By the time she finished up her cake she filled him with the tea of this on going drama in her friend circle. Apparently one of her classmate got pregnant with the guy who she was cheating on her boyfriend with, now the guy doesn't want to be involved in the scene by all mean and with all his rights and it's created his huge entertaining drama around it. Her friend Brielle takes in huge interest in gossips. And that why even though YN's known the girl her whole life she doesn't tell her more than just a few bullet points with anything Harry and her related. She respects his privacy and doesn't want her friend to go and accidentally spill all the information to everyone. Though she haven't yet told anyone about YN and Harry, which is a good thing that she promises to keep it the same way.

Harry threw her the trash for her watching her mood lifted from earlier today. He did had a talk with Jamie and Jeffery after the show though.

"Oh, I have a few things to show you." YN remembered watching Harry get in bed with her, "where is my phone?" She looked around.

"I don't know?" He looked under the blanket and pillows.

"Maybe I left it outside." She got out of bed and ran out to look for her phone.

Harry didn't know if she really remembers what she's wearing considering it's three in the morning. It was pretty rare for her to prance around like that just in a pair of panties and one of his shirts which is always too large for her somehow. She just runs away to put on a pair of pants when he's around and he respects that though he wouldn't mind.

"I saw this man walking his cat on a leash." She spoke entering the room with her phone in her hands, her pretty face illuminated under the blue light as she searched for something she wants to show him. "I want to train DumDum like this."

"Do you want to get in bed with me first, sweet girl?" He suggested, eyeing her up and down and then up again. Caught. She looked down at her state of clothing, the shirt barely covered her ass.

"I'll go put some pants on, sorry," she kept her phone on the side table in hurry. She didn't mind what she wore, she's grown to love her body, she liked to go to bed properly clothed in respect to Harry when he's around. It might make him uncomfortable, there are chances. She respects his personal space and boundaries like he does.

"It's alright sweet girl, c'mere, it's hot for you to sleep in sweats. I don't mind come on." He urged her. "I'm half naked too."

"Go put a shirt on!" Her fake scold sent him into a fit of laugh that he missed watching her snuggle up next to him. She showed him the pictures and videos she took of the cat she was talking about, apparently he was named Sushi and was there ar the shushi restaurant next to the one YN went to eat Shushi. "He's going to love your song Music For Sushi Restaurant."

"Mhmm, I wrote that so g about him." Harry pointed out, "look he's got green eyes." He zoomed in on the picture of the cat making YN giggled, she locked her phone and kept it away to get under blanket with him. Harry couldn't help but get a peek at the baby blue of her cotton panties she was wearing. He just pulled her in a bear cuddle letting her use his bicep as a pillow wrapping his free arm around her waist. His nose skimming against her, he closed his eyes feeling her soft breaths warm up his skin. "What happened today, won't happen again baby. Not on my watch, okay?"

"I'm okay now." She assured him, "it just hurt in that moment."

"I want you to tell me of it happens again." He said with a firm tone, "won't tolerate it again."

"I will." She pressed a tender kiss with all lovely feelings she has harboured for him during their time together as she proceeded to snuggle into him their cheeks pressed together in feathery contact. She could feel his hand wander lower and lower, over the expanse of her bum and back up sneaking under her shirt a little, it was set into pattern now.

"You're comfortable?" He asked, she knew exactly about what and it had her nodding her head gently. She liked the way he was touching her, it was first but she was already addicted. He's never gone this far ahead touching her affectionately before, so it was pretty intimate for her. Last two days spent with him without going out for work or anything, she felt safe with him. Her fear of chances of him being a secret serial killer had vanished just today though it didn't kill all of her anxiety, it is going to take time for her.

His wandering hand snuck under her shirt feeling adventurous running up her side over her tummy, she suddenly didn't felt uncomfortable with her not-flat stomach. Letting him to whatever was best decision, she decided as it was making all happy feelings having a firework in her skull. It only got more as she felt butterflies floating up to her brain processing brushes of his lips on her neck and shoulder. Feeling tingly in between her legs she squirmed under his touch there.

YN was pushed gently to lay on her back with his hands under her head even though there was a fluffy pillow to protect her. She cracked open her eyes to find him hovering over her, close enough to feel his soft exhales on her skin. His hand still under her shirt slowly creeping up to rest to her ribs closer to the swells of her breast before he stopped. The lack of another layer of clothing under her shirt added just more to his anticipation and cravings of her, even though he's never had in this way before.

"This okay?" He asked, earning just a nod from her, "I'm gonna need words baby, yes or not?"

"Yes." She rushed. A rewarding kiss was pressed on the corner of her mouth as his fingers squeezed gently around her breast. She gasped softly. He rolled over her, making sure to not put any on his weight on her as he managed to fit between thighs. With his knees folded her sat on his knees to look at her.

"Thought you said you didn't brought anything pretty with you," a comment on her baby blue cotton panties had her flushed in a second, "you brought your pretty self." He added with a smirky grin on his face, dimples appearing on his cheek and all. "Do you want to tale this off?" His other hand snuck under her shirt.

"Would you want that?" She asked biting down her lip in anticipation.

"It's not entirely about me, would you want that?" He shook her head, still affectionately caressing her sides.

"I want that." She consented, having him help her slip her arms out of the shirt and have him carefully pull it over her head.

"Hi," he greeted with a chuckle watching her shake her head in attempt to move her hair off her face.

"Hi," she beamed at him.

"You're so pretty baby," he glanced at her longingly before he leaned down to kiss her with more affection, pressing his mouth on her a little too hard but she isn't complaining, "perfect for me, can tell already!" She kissed him back with same affection if not more. "You okay with me loving on you?"

"It is okay." She confessed.

"Yeah?" He was amused and smitten by her in the moment.

Harry left a trail of soft, sloppy wet kissed down her jaw to her neck. Lingering that much longer on her pulse, it was surely going to leave a mark with the way he sucked on her soft skin before he kept down lower and lower. Giving the peaks of her breasts attention, one hand wrapped around one as he wrapped his lips around the peaks of her nipple sucking that little harder each time, rolling the other in between his thumb and forefinger. That alone had her squirming and gasping as she felt the pool of wetness in between her legs grow.

"That's okay, don't hold your pretty sounds back, sugar, lemme hear them." He urged her hearing a soft squeal from her.

"I won't, I won't, please don't stop." She mumbled.

"Wasn't planning on bunny," he looked at her smirking all while searching her face as he let his hands wander even lower between her hands, brush of his fingers over the wet patch on her panties was enough to make her gasp again, louder this time. "Y'like that, sugar?"

"Mhmm, yes!" She nodded throwing her head back as he pressed his fingers harder on her clit, setting a rhythm of circled pattern causing another firework all over her brain. It felt different from the times she does it herself for sure. "More, please!" She requested, pulling him closer with his face cupped in her palms for a kiss. And he gave her more.

"Feel good, sugar?" He asked urging her, his finger tips running soft circles on her clit. "Wanna taste you, baby, would you mind that."

"No," she nodded followed by a soft whimper, "please." Just on request he pushed himself up so sit on his heels as he pulled down her panties. Taking a moment to look at her as she was lied there in layered in dreamy haze. He definitely did not expected this even though he started it but he isn't going to complain. He moved them both so he was now kneeling on the floor as he tugged her down with his hands wrapped from under her thighs. Without saying anything he started with pressing sloppy wet kisses up her skin. Hearing little whimpers of request for him to stop teasing, not giving into her begging he threw her legs over his shoulders to reach of her hand and intertwine their fingers together. He pushed her thighs apart licking a bold stripe over her clit before he was going down to her slit having her already shuddering under his touch. Pressing his mouth on the full of her pussy with the shake of his head making her clench her thighs around his head.

Propping herself on her elbows to look at his ministrations he wasn't going to stop anytime soon, nor she wanted him to. He saw him glancing up at with his mouth still attached to her core, with his free arm flexing which could only tell that he's jerking himself. That just edged her closer to her high. His humming of pleasure sending waves of vibration down her spin making her let slip her own moans.

"Are you going to cum, baby?" He asked pulling away just enough before diving back in the sweetness he seemed to be already addicted to. He was in complete sense of euphoria, buried in between her legs being the best decision he's made.

"Yes! Oh, Harry!" She let out her little whimpers.

"Yeah? Cum for me baby," he urged her, "lemme taste it, you taste so good!" His tongue lapping over her slick pussy he guided her through her high, hearing her little soft whimpers of pleasure. Sucking at her slit as his nose nudged against her clit with a particular hard shake of his mouth. He proceeded to lick her clean telling her how good of a girl he was for him. He could have a go again if she'd let him, but he pulled away with a last firm kiss placed on her clit before he rose up to check on her. He lied there like an angel falled right from heaven with her chest heaving, eyes shuttered closed in bliss. He leaned over to press a kiss on her cheek to get her attention.

"You doing alright baby?" He asked.

"Mhmm." She nodded, leaning into him being fond of the closeness she felt with him in that moment, it was very different than she's used to but god she didn't want it to end.

"Did so good, m'good girl you are." He praised her. His nose skimming against her before he placed his lips against her. She could taste herself which the natural taste of him she was grown so familiar with, but she pulled away with his face cupped in between the plams of her hands

"Did you finish?" She asked.

"You saw me, didn't you?" He smirked pressing on the tip of her nose he rested his forehead on hers, "I didn't. But don't worry about me now, tonight is about you, my little love."

"I want to help you." She urged him, "only if you let me." She felt his chest heave as he took in a long breathe as if he was contemplating. "Please?"

"Yeah? You want to help me?" He asked earning a sound of hum from her, "can I cum on your tummy then, don't want you to do anything while you're so tired."

"Uh-huh!" She nodded, "want you to feel good."

"Move up for me then, baby." He urged her to move up on the mattress, she did exactly watching him shimmy off his boxers and shorts fully before he managed to fit himself in between her thighs just like he was not even five minutes ago before he pulled her to the edge of their shared bed. "You sure you want this, baby?"

"I want it." She said, softly with a jerky nod of her head desperate to see him feel the same he saw her feel. It took everything in her to not touch him, especially when he hasn't given her his consent to do so as she watched him wrap his fingers around his cock, sliding his hand up and down slowly. YN looked up at him with her lip buried under her teeth. "Are you close?"

"So close," he shared, deep rumble of moans left his kiss swollen lips as he jerked himself over her. YN felt butterflies in her tummy all over again, wanting so badly to help but he won't let her touch him in anyway. She needed to find a way to urge him like he did.

"I want you to cum for me, Harry." She said, resting her hand over his which he had propped on the full of her thigh, running her palm up and down his forearm. "Are you going to?"

"Fuck yes, baby!" He moaned as his eyes shuttered closed. He couldn't help the smile taking over his lips as he heard her speak those words.

"Look at me, Harry!" She demanded, with all her rights making him instantly follow her words. He sat back on his heels as his fucked his own hand looking at her. Just the sight of her lied there bare had his cum spurring out with couple of hard strokes of his hand, landing right in between valley of her breasts.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum." He told her.

"Please cum for me." He urged him more, lacing fingers of his free hand with her. Enough for him to cum all over her making a mess of both of them until his cock went soft in his hand with heavy and breathy moans filling their room. With a soft tug at his hand she pulled over her as soon as he was done, pressing soft and lazy kisses on his cheek. "Made me cum so hard, baby, thank you."

A soft chuckle left her own kiss swollen lips, "it's two ways, right? You made me feel good too."

"Mhmm," he nodded.

"I want to help you next time like you helped me." She shared, "please?" Just the mention of a next time made Harry want to go at it again, but she looked tired, really tired he could tell by the tone of her voice.

"I promise, my love." He agreed. "Come on, let's take a quick shower then we can get dressed and go to bed. Got you all tired, didn't I?"

"Yeah!"

With his arm's wrapped around her waist he picked up with no efforts as made a way to their en suite bathroom. He carefully placed her on her wobbly feet stealing in a few tender kisses from her mouth.

"Need to get us a change of clothes, go on and get in first I will join you, okay baby?" He suggested earning an upset pout from her, "promise won't take long." He kissed her pout away before he stepped away and stepped out of bathroom reminding her, "make sure you take a wee too."

His casualness made her shudder in cringe on herself. How and why did she find that weird, whilst it's something important she does? He casualness wasn't something she found cringey but the feeling that took over her. But brushing it away she did what he said so and got into shower settings the water to luke warm even though she's used to taking burning hot showers. In no time Harry was joining her like he promised and helped her clean up the mess he made of the pair of them, making sure to give her extra kisses and praises.

"Harry?" She spoke as he wrapped a towel around her before her wrapped one around his hips.

"Hmm?" He sounded, proceeding to dry her off so she wouldn't catch a cold, "what is it lovie?"

"That was my first time being intimate with anyone." She confessed, with a hint of fear she might upset him for something.

"You didn't tell me?" He stopped dead on his tracks, "why baby?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I'm sorry, I should've."

"You should've told me, yeah," he agreed resuming his work of drying her off, "but I should've asked you. And it's okay."

"You didn't know."

"I know baby, but I started it, didn't I?" He sighed.

"Did I make you upset?"

"No, but I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable in anyway." He shared, leaving the towel draped over her shoulders as he reached for the pair of panties he got for her from her suitcase. He crouched, "step in."

"You didn't," she told him as she stepped into the pair of clothing and watched him pull it up her thighs to her waist, "you made me feel so safe."

"I did?"

"Mhmm." She nodded watching him reach for his hoodie he got got her, "I don't quite feel comfortable with myself, but I felt it with you. I should've told you." His shoulders deflated hearing her words, it was quite emotional thing for her he could tell and she isn't the most open person he's met but at least she's telling him the truth now. And he's glad he didn't gave into her begging of wanting to help him like he did. They can go slow if she wanted to do anything like that again.

"Precious, look at me." He set her up on the counter top next to the sink and stood in between her thighs, "thank you so much for telling me the truth." He started, his hands warming the sides of her hips, "I don't know how I feel, but it's okay, just need you to know that you can tell me anything next time when we're doing something intimate. Now I wanna everything. You said it's two ways, right?"

"Mhmm."

"Then that's how it's going to be." He stated quite firmly yet with tender feeling towards her, "like I told you, you're very precious and wouldn't want to do anything-even unintentionally- to hurt you, my love, okay?"

"Okay, I will." She agreed on it, earning the prettiest smile and a gentle kiss from him. "I don't want it." She refused watching him bunch up the hoodie he got for her to the neckline.

"Why not baby?"

"I want to cuddle close to you." She shared.

"You sure, you won't be cold?"

"No," she shook her head. He put on his own boxers before he was picking her up again, her legs wrapped around his hips and arms draped around his shoulders. He whispered his sweet nothings to her making a way back out with their half bare selves, as her soft giggles filled their room. He lied her down gently on their shared bed joining her closely. Wrapping her in duvet.

"Good night, sugar." He kissed her temple.

"Good night." She whispered snuggling as humanly close to him as possible.

......................................................................

The morning after was nothing but sweet and tender for YN, she was woken up by soft whispers from Harry. A huge breakfast in bed, and even bigger snuggle sesh as they watched her favourite show before getting into a warm bath together in the afternoon and get ready for the evening.

Harry took her to the Billie Eilish merch shops, bought her almost every single item they had to offer despite her little protests, and extra pair of sweats and crewneck for her best friend as her birthday present from both of them. They spent their time watching few of his favourite artists playing all the while without catching anyone's attention with Jamie and Jeffery with them. YN found it very weird as anywhere Jamie goes they have camera's following them but she wasn't complaining.

"Harry, can we go out to get dinner?" She suggested on their way back to their hotel.

"Where do you want to go, baby?" He asked, opening the door for her with his free hand as he held the bags with her new clothes, be let her in first.

"I don't know, I feel like eating rice cakes." She shared.

"Yeah? We can go to my favourite Korean restaurant then." He set her bags down by her duffle bag which was spilling out with stuff she had carelessly stuffed inside.

They just did that. Alone they both went to get dinner like their first night in LA. She taught Harry how to use chopsticks, laughing as she watched him still struggle. He stuck to using fork and spoon as they ate. They ordered a few desserts which Harry hardly ate from before they headed back to Coachella to watch Billie perform.

"You didn't eat any dessert." She pointed out as he walked just behind her, "we could have ordered something you like?"

"What if I tell you, I want my sugar for dessert, hm?" He leaned in closer to her ear, "tasted you once can already rell you're the sweetest dessert there's ever going be." He whispered, making goosebumps take over her skin.

"I don't mind that."

"I know you don't," he cooed, "would take you back with me now but we're here for you, aren't we? Unless you want to go back to our hotel."

"We can wait." She said, firmly, not wanting to give into his teasing even though she could feel those same tingles in between her legs as last night. Harry didn't said anything as they proceeded to walk towards the VIP area to watch her favourite singer.

It was a bummer Harry wasn't her favourite singer, but he's certainly her favourite in other ways.

YN had to walk next to Jeffery and Glenn as Jamie and Harry walked together. She was already craving the warmth of his palm against her watching his hand wrapped around someone elses. Yes, she felt the tinge of jealousy creep up in her mind and heart even though everything was just for show. It wasn't until a few songs in YN felt Harry tugging towards him to make her stand right in front of him as he wrapped his arms around smaller frame, she felt a soft press of his lips on her head through the hood she had up oh her head. Now that made that teeny bit jealousy go away for a second before she noticed Jamie was stood right next to him.

"Do you not want to take videos?" Harry wondered.

"Oh yeah," she realised as she fished out her phone from her pocket, and turned on the video to later send it to her friend and post it on her stories and keep it back in her pocket to enjoy the moment in person. Harry still had her caged in between his arms, their fingers intertwined together. YN brought their hands upto her lips before placing a soft kiss on the back of his hands before placing the bundle of their hands over her chest, letting his sway them both to the soft music of Ocean Eyes now playing.

Harry pushed her closer to him with his hand on her chest, holding flush against his own. "Gimme a kiss." His voice soft, just for the two of them.

"We're out." She reminded him. She cared for his public image. And to the public he was dating Jamie and if anyone saw him kissing her, he'd be a cheater which she would never want for him.

"I don't give a fuck, now gimme a kiss or I might die because of lack of kisses from my baby." He said, as dramatically as he could making her giggle before she turned her head to look at him. He dipped his head down desparately to button his mouth of her, he turned her around so he can indulge in the contact better.

He had her wrapped up in his arms for entire time they were there. His heart felt full whenever he is with her and that's what he wanted her to feel until Jeffery had to drive buldozer of his bullshit over their sweet time together saying people have started to notice he's not close to Jamie but someone else and had escorted them out of there.

YN felt so hurt, she was really just someone else? Why wouldn't his team address her like a human being but as if she's some weird mutated creature Harry liked to be around? She walked beside Glenn watching Jamie take a hold of Harry's hand, even proceeding to cling to his arms giggling her way out at something Jeffery said. She could see Harry's face as he walked ahead of her this time.

Jamie has been doing nothing but plaguing their time together. Worse part was thar Harry gave into it, even though he's obliged to do so. Not even just now but it's been like this since a month after Harry met her and he had to get into this pr relationship, it was very annoying from day one. Especially since Jamie hated her for apparently no reason at all. And so did Harry's team, especially his manager.

Well, YN didn't had any right to be that upset it's not like she's his girlfriend. She's just someone's he basically pays to hang with him throwing away the fact that she would do all this without any conditions because she fallen in love with him. You don't put any conditions in front of a person you love so much.

Love is always supposed to be unconditional, she knew that.

She brushed it off and decided to walk ahead and get in the car in back seat knowing very well she'll be told to do so when Harry's driving, there are paps called outside and many screaming fans stood there with their cameras out. Harry drove off to their hotel, everyone annoyingly stayed at the same hotel.

YN still walked ahead and stook the stairs instead not wanting paps to even click even a single picture of her. As a college student with almost all of her batch being Harry's fan was mot going to make her life any easier than it already is. But she truly felt bad. Be isn't going to back off his backend deal with the movie he worked in for some girl he met more more than half year ago and pays for her college for her. That's some weird ass shit she thought is going on there. All her life she's felt unwanted and worthless and being around his people makes it even worse even when he insists he wants her in his life.

She one stupid to fall for him.

She reached the fourth floor huffing and puffing looking through her phone to distract her mind from wandering from streets to gutters. She bumped into Harry stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, an upset look over his features.

"Why didn't you get in the lift?" He asked her.

"I didn't wanted any pictures taken of me on accident." She said walking down the corridor to their shared room. He followed her like lost little puppy trying to keep up with her fast footsteps.

"Hey, what's wrong love? I'm sorry we had to leave early." He cooed trying to still catch upto her, he hated how down far their room was, "she's performing next weekend too we can stay till the very end, sugar!" Finally they came to their room and YN tried to open the door with spare key card she had, but struggled to do so with her vision blurred out by her tears. Harry calmly took the key from and opened the door leading her in he shut the door behind them making sure to lock it. He walked her inside and made her sit on their bed and took a seat on the yellow ottoman in front of her.

"What's wrong?" He asked again.

"I don't know." She shook her head, pulling her hand away from his grip.

"I know you know when you say that," he sighed, "what made you this upset, my love? Why are you crying?" He waited patiently for her answer his concerns but she didn't, she's very stubborn when it comes to sharing her feelings. "If you don't tell me what's wrong then how I'm gonna help you fix it?"

"I don't know."

"You want me to assume what happened?" He asked even though he had no assumptions about what must went down.

"I don't know."

"YN c'mon stop being stubborn, baby, I'm tryin' to figure out what got you all upset when you were so happy." His shoulders slumped in defeat, he ran a heavy hand over his face and through his hair. "Fine if you're not going tell me."

"I wasn't." She deadpanned. A heavy sigh he released calmed him down.

"What are you upset about, my love?" He asked, again, with much more patience than before.

"It's embarrassing." She shook her head, dismissing the thought of wanting to share that she's jealous of his pretend girlfriend because she's fallen head over heels for him after he'd shown just some affection towards her.

"You know I would never judge you," he cooed to her, reassuring her as took a gentle hold of her hands. Still amused by how much smaller her hands were in compare to his, they fit perfectly in his like that last piece puzzle. "Did Jamie or anyone said anything mean to you again?"

"No," she looked down at their joined hands in her lap.

"Are you upset we left early?"

"I didn't liked the way Jeffery had us escorted back to hotel because he saw people were starting to, to notice us, us sharing a kiss." She stuttered through her little complain, "I, I don't like it when she's around whenever we're out and I have to be pretend I'm not someone to you."

"But you're everything to me." He confessed, "and I mean it. I am really sorry you feel that way, sugar. I promise we're going out when she's not around, yeah? It is just going to be us, I promise."

"You do?" She asked.

"Mhmm, I do." He nodded, "see it was that easy to fix this, didn't need to cry on this." He wiped off her tears from her face, holding both her hands in one of his as if she's going to run away. "Did you get jealous of Jamie hogging all of our alone time?"

"I did." She cemented, without any hesitation glaring at him for his unnecessary teasing in the moment.

"I'm sorry," he rushed, "but you do know I don't even look at her, don't you? You know I'm coming back to you at the end kf the day, don't you?" He wasn't even trying to conceal the little he'd harboured on her now. Not when their alone time being invaded made her that upset for her to shed tears. "You've got nothing to worry about you know that, don't you?"

She gave him another jerky nod of her head, "mhmm, I know."

"Then gimme me a hug now." He dropped her hands just so he can wrap him up in his arms, she had hers tucked in between them. He even peppered the exposed skin of her face with as many kisses as he could.

Tag list:

@vrittivsanghavi @buckymydarlingangel @sweetwritingfanficfriend @theroosterswife24 @sleutherclaw @melllinaa Lemme know if you want to added to the tag list

[mrstsugikuni]

Hi! I was one of the people who had sent an ask! Basically I had asked for a Muzan x f!reader, collge au. I had thought of Y/N losing a bet to her friends and having to kiss Muzan as a punishment. However, Muzan wants more and they end up in bed together?

Thanksss💓

Ooooooo yes yes yes yess 😍😍

I'ma have a lot of fun with this one 💪🏻

Warnings: Oral sex(Reader receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, unprotected sex, and a possible breeding kink.

MINORS DNI!!

'What did I get myself into.. I can't believe I lost to a dumb bet and now I have to kiss Muzan.. literally the hottest guy on our campus!' I thought to myself as sweat dropped from my face class was about to be over meaning I would have to face my punishment.

There it was the bell, everyone rushed out the room except for me I was still a little nervous and don't get me wrong I've had a crush on Muzan since freshman year back in high school but he got a little distant when we got in college he's always busy so I can understand but now I have to kiss him and I was scared he would feel different and reject the kiss, but I have to do this.

I silently made my way to where he usually was over by the campus doors and before I approached him I turned around just to see my friends watching behind a tree giggling like little girls who just go their favorite doll for Christmas.

"Hey! [Name] haven't seen you in forever how have ya been?" His voice was deep yet calm and it was just so dreamy I missed his voice so much and hearing it is like music to my ears. "Oh! I've been great Muzan, and you?" I smiled at him with adoration, he was just so perfect. "Oh same old same old, always busy with something, did you need something?" That's when I remembered, The bet! The punishment! Oooh the punishment.

"Yeah actually. Um could you maybe come a little closer I have a secret for you." He nodded and leaned over to hear your "secret" and before he could get closer to your ear you kissed him. His whole face went into a state of shock before sinking into the kiss, his right hand latched behind your head and his left was on your waist keeping you in place the kiss was passionate and spicy blanded together.

After a while he pulled back a smirk plastered apon his beautiful features, his red cherry eyes staring into yours love was in his eyes but there was something else In those eyes there was something more sinister lying between his eyes. "Y'know skipping never harmed anyone especially if it was just once." His deep voice sent shivers down your spine as lust sugar coated it's way on his tongue. "I suppose just once is a innocent crime." You looked him up and down and smirked he chuckled at he wrapped his arm around you and guided you to his apartment, as the two of you walked off you flipped off your friends who were now shocked at what just happened.

Not even a second into his apartment and he was all on you leaving love bites all over your neck as he left his mark on your soft skin, the whole up the elevator was nothing but the firey passion y'all felt for each other, His lips were addictive and sweet and you couldn't get enough he was like a drug to you and you wanted more.

When the elevator stopped at his floor he picked you up, your legs wrapped around him as he ran down to his room, giggles filled the halls as he continued to run with you in his hands the giggles only stopped and we're instead replaced by a loud thud. He threw you against his room door as he struggled to get the right key out.

When the door finally opened, he took no hesitance in slamming it and running to his room and throwing you on the bed. He stopped for a while and took in the beautiful view he had of you, it was magnificent he loved every inch of your body and couldn't wait to see it with out clothes. He began to take his shirt off his toned body was a sight for sore eyes he was gorgeous, you went to repeat what he did but he stopped you. "Allow me." He grabbed the hem of your shirt and slowly pulled it off, he pulled you close to his chest as he reached over your body and unclipped your bra letting it fall to the floor your boobs pressed against his chest as the passion in your eyes grew by the moment. He slowly placed you back on the bed before kneeling in front of the bed and where your clothes vagina played, he slowly took off [Clothing wear of choice] exposing your soaked panties it looked like a pool down there and he enjoyed every inch of it, before pulling your panties down as well. He stared at it for what seemed like forever not giving it any physical contact and it made you feel embarrassed. He continued to stare at it a little longer until his lips made contact with your sensitive bud sending chills up your spine from the sudden contact, his tongue danced with your clit making you feel so good and warm inside, as sweet noises erupt from your throat your hand finding it's way into his black locks and gripping it, a little a grunt could be heard as he continued to lick and suck your clitoris at a rhythm.

You can feel tight knot in your stomach as you arrive towards your climate. Your body shook out of control as the knot came undone, catching Muzan off guard as your juices covered his face. "Perhaps give me a warning next time?" He said chuckling right after taking his hand and wiping away the slick from his face.

He stood up from the kneeling position he was in, his hands reaching for his belt and the sound of metal touching as he unbuckles his belt. His eyes never leaving yours as a staring competition was started. Without even noticing his pants were lying on the floor next to him and he was stroking his cock right in front of you, his smirk only growing as he watched your eyes widen and your face turn red. He stopped stroking it and began crawling on top of you asserting his dominance. His lips leaving kisses all over your neck as he slowly aligned his cock to your pussy, Without warning he pushed his way in, just his tip was in and you knew you were in for a ride, he slowly kept making his way in sinking his cock through your tight walls. Suddenly with a swift movement he was all the way in and you felt so full, it didn't last long as you felt him slowly pull out, Your whines filled the room from the loss of his cock that was until he slammed back in and a loud yelp echoed through the room, he repeated that action keeping a rough yet slow pace. Skin slapping against skin, moans, grunts, groans, and pants were the only things that could be heard. Suddenly he flipped you over, your stomach facing the bed but your body kept upwards and your back was arched deliciously, he loved this position. Now he has access to everything better, He wasn't being slow and rough anymore he was being fast and rough his pace never resting and only getting faster. He was getting close to his climax and so we're you, his thrust were starting to get sloppy yet he kept his pace the same your moans getting more broken, your eyes were lost in the ceiling and drool ran from the corner of your mouth you were lost in pure euphoria and so was he. Yet again the knot in your stomach came undone all over his cock and your moans got so loud you knew the neighbors could hear, just hearing that moan led him to his climax, his semen filing you up from deep inside your walls painting it a lovely white color.

He kept himself inside until he knew his semen would stay in there, slowly pulling out before going to the bathroom to clean himself and prepare you two a nice warm bath to relax in.

Ok ok oml! I hope this was good cause like I had to rush it a little at the end cause I have to do stuff but I think it was really good!

OOOH I SHOULD SO DO AFTER CARE HEADCANONS FOR THE UPPER MOONS 😍😍

[pablitogavii]

I'm sorry..

Summary: It's your birthday and you ex boyfriend (Pablo Gavi) crashes the party desperate to get you back.

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Reader

Warnings: slight angst/ slight smut/ fluffy ending I promise <3

It was your eighteenth birthday and all of your friends came to celebrate at your house making a big pool party with music and the whole light show. They really tried hard to make everything perfect in order to show you that you are never alone.

You haven't been the best recently, especially with your latest break up with your boyfriend of three years. Things got intense, he started losing games and all that pent up frustration was causing your relationship to break...caused him to break it.

Flashback:

"I can't do this right now! We are losing very game and I keep having to deal with this relationship! I can't!" Pablo was yelling after a terrible loss at El Clásico and you just stood there taking it despite knowing you didn't deserve any of it.

"You're acting like.." he interrupted you while growling angrily

"Acting like what?" he challenged

"Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are..." you sigh feeling his hand taking yours and hold it tightly.

"I would never wish that on you..I want you to be happy but I don't know how to make you happy. Recently, I can't do anything right!" Pablo said letting go while Pedri observed the whole thing knowing that his friend will be absolutely miserable without you.

"It's over, isn't it?" you say as tears fall down your cheeks and Pablo kept a cold exterior although his heart was shattering into millions of small pieces.

"It's over.." he said and you left walking past Pedri as he sat down where you were some moments ago seeing his friend drying his own tears.

"Pablo, why did you just do that?" Pedri asked

"Because I love her..and I can't make her happy" Pablo said through gritted teeth as his friend hugged him tightly letting him cry into his shoulder.

You were dating the new guy after five months of daily grief but even now you go to sleep thinking about Pablo's arms wrapping around you. You knew it's not fair to your boyfriend but you couldn't help it..nobody will ever be what Pablo was to you.

"You look breathtaking Y/n.." Luca said and you smiled kissing his lips feeling immediate guilt only seconds later..this was the first birthday without Pablo by your side..it felt wrong..everything felt wrong since he left.

"He's here..just wait and we will ask him to leave" Ana, your best friend, said and you felt your breathing stop as your eyes filled with tears. Luca wanted to go with her but you stopped them both saying that you needed to see him, be the one to ask him to leave.

You walked down the stairs while Pablo was being held by Pedri looking up with big red eyes taking in every detail from your tight red dress, to your curls cascading perfectly down your shoulders and perl necklace around your neck..you looked heavenly..he couldn't breathe.

"What are you doing here? I need you to leave Pablo.." you said after finally standing across from him seeing his eyes filled with tears which broke something in you but you had to keep a strong exterior..your heart was pounding hard against your chest.

"It's your birthday princesa...it's my princesa's birthday" his voice broke and you could tell that he was drunk holding onto the wall as your head became heavy at the sound of that nickname.

"I'm not yours anymore.." you said and that exact moment Luca walked down pulling you to his side making sure you are feeling alright since you were really pale.

"Get off her! Hijo de puta! Don't touch her! She is mine! She..she is mine!" Pablo was trying to rush towards Luca while you were crying and Pedri pulled him back trying to sober him up.

"We should leave hermano..let's not ruin her birthday..you want her to be happy, don't you? I know you do..come on..let's go..lo siento amiga" Pedri was pulling Pablo's helpless body but just as they arrived at the door he pulled back now absolutely enraged.

"Ask her! Ask her if she loves you!? Do you!? Do you love him? I know you don't! And you know you don't! You're still shaking when I get close ...when I touch you...you're still mine in here!" Pablo said touching your heart and Luca was looking down at you expecting you to say something..to say anything but you were silently crying before Pablo turned around and left with Pedri.

"Is he telling the truth? Y/n!" Luca was yelling at you now and instead of this being one of the happiest days, it quickly became a nightmare. You were so overwhelmed and hurt that you don't even remember the words leaving your mouth.

"Yes! I love him! I can't stop! I..I'm sorry.." you cried rushing upstairs to take off your dress and get underneath the cowers while your friend told everyone the party was over and they left the house.

"I cleaned everything up..I'm sorry baby" Ana said kissing your head before heading home herself leaving you alone to think on everything that happened.

Your birthday was almost over, it was ten minutes till midnight, and all you could think about was the way Pablo looked at you as you walked down the stairs..those eyes showing you more emotion than Luca's words ever could...Pablo loved you despite all the complications that cluttered your relationship...he loved you.

A knock on the door brought you back from your thoughts and you walked down seeing him standing in the hallway with the largest bouquet of red roses in his hands. Your heart was beating fast and you felt your tears fall down your cheeks again.

"What are you doing here again? I don't have the energy to rehash tonight's hysterics..you won..Luca left..and I'm alone..I think you should leave" you said coldly still feeling anger than he selfishly ruined your birthday.

"I'm not here to apologize for what happened tonight.." he said giving you the flowers and you still took them waiting to what he had to say.

"Then...what are you here to apologize for?" you say smelling the roses smiling weakly before looking back into his sparkling eyes.

"Everything else...I'm sorry for losing my temper the night after losing El Clásico..I'm sorry for not calling you for months...I'm sorry for treating you like property..I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did..most of all, I'm sorry that I gave up on us when you never did.." he said and by that time you were already crying surely looking like a crazy racon with smeared mascara.

You sighed in relied giving him a small smile while holding roses tightly like your life depended on it.

"Thank you..' you said in a quiet voice putting flowers on the table as he slowly walked towards you almost like he was checking if you would walk back..but when you didn't his hands found your hips and he pulled you into a tight embrace.

"All I needed all these months is to be in your arms again...to feel safe" you whispered while you were till standing there hugging one another feeling Pablo's hands rub your back soothingly just like he knew you loved.

"Please come back to me princesa...I can't function without you..I don't want to learn how to live without you" he said and you moved back looking up at his tearful eyes before your gaze focused on his lips instead.

He leaned down crashing his lips on your and you kissed him back snaking your arms around his neck and pulling him closer as the clock hit midnight in just the right moment.

"My birthday is over.." you said as you pulled away from one another resting your foreheads together for the next few moments.

"I think I still need to give you my gift.." he said and you opened your eyes to look at him giggling a little when he swopped you from your feet and carried you upstairs bridal style back into your room giving you something you both craved since the night you separated...

[ashwhowrites]

Aww you're angst is so good but could we get like an cute sensitive reader with eddie where eddie is his normal self but when he's around his friends he acts differently so one day he says something that hurts the readers feelings and he truly didn't mean to he had no idea that what he said would hurt her feelings and the whole time she's hanging out with him she's trying her best not to cry and she even excuses herself to the bathroom to give herself like a little pep talk and when they leave he notices she's quiet and seems sad so she asks if he meant what he said earlier 😔

I love a cute sensitive reader

Not proofread

I struggled with the ending so bare with me

Hehe I wrote this and completely just missed the part where they weren't supposed to be at home....but they are at Eddie's

Eddie had a big mouth, everyone knew that. He said exactly what popped in his head, not bothering to read the room or his audience. If he had a thought, he would share it. Whether the thought was good or bad.

Y/N understood Eddie didn't exactly think before he spoke. It was one of his flaws and a flaw that hurt many people. She always brushed off certain things he said to her about things she likes. He wasn't a fan of her favorite movies, food or music. He shared his opinions on it bluntly but she shrugged it off. She didn't like his favorite movies or his music either. She just never told him. She was too sensitive herself to purposely hurt someone's feelings.

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt sometimes. Especially when her boyfriend was sitting with his friends in the living room, laughing about their ex-girlfriends and their flaws. Y/N was scared for Eddie's turn, she's the only person he's ever been with. She was sitting in his room, allowing him to have a guy night. But now she sat against his door, ear pressed as she nervously bit her lip. She hoped he would use his brain and talk about how he doesn't have an ex-girlfriend so he doesn't need to be part of the conversation.

But he didn't. He didn't want to be excluded so he said the first thing that popped in his head.

"yeah Y/N can be very loud. Like just in general, doesn't need to be sex" He joked. Smiling as the boys laughed. Eddie felt proud he was able to be part of the conversation. He hated being shut out.

Y/N nodded to herself from the other side of the door. He was right, she was loud. During sex or not, her voice generally was louder than the rest. But so was Eddie. Eddie was loud so she figured she'd never have to feel insecure about it.

She sat down at his dirty desk, looking in his mirror, cringing as she saw the first round of tears

"hey, no! No crying. You are fine. It is fine" she said to herself. Cleaning off her face as fast as she could.

"nothing to cry over. You are loud but that doesn't need to be a bad thing. Who cares if he thinks it's a flaw. It's you just being you. If he has a problem with it, he can go to hell" she snapped to herself in the mirror.

She spent too many years allowing people to break her down. She was sensitive but that didn't mean she would let people's words continue to make her insecure. She liked being loud.

~~

But her speech went out the window when she cuddled into Eddie's arms as they relaxed for bed. She wanted to tell him off, tell him he wasn't exactly quiet either, and he wasn't quiet during sex either!

Even though she didn't want to, she felt insecure. Biting her cheek to keep words from flying out. Maybe if she just didn't talk at all, she wouldn't be reminded of how loud she was.

"what's wrong?" Eddie broke the silence, his thumb rubbing her shoulder softly as he hummed out into the air

"hm?" She hummed, lips closed tightly as she kept her eyes closed

"you've been quiet ever since the guys left. You never came out to play games and you haven't said a word to me since" Eddie explained, looking down at her. She kept her eyes closed and breathing steady but he knew she was awake

"nothing. Just tired" she shrugged off

"no you're not. You had coffee like an hour ago. You won't be sleeping for hours. Tell me what's wrong" he demanded, pulling his arms away as he sat up. Eyes looking down at her, finally making eye contact when she opened hers

"did you mean it? My big flaw?" She asked quietly, well as quiet as she could. Barely a whisper as Eddie leaned closer to try to hear her

"what? I can't hear you" he chuckled, moving closer

"oh now I'm too quiet?" She snapped, rolling her eyes as she sat up

"hey what's going on?" Eddie asked, flinching slightly at how pissed she sounded

"my big flaw? Too loud? You know what Eddie you aren't fucking quiet either" she growled

She tried to seem mad but Eddie could easily tell how sad she looked

"baby, you're right. I'm way louder than you are. And that was stupid to even say. It was dumb to try and fit in when my girlfriend doesn't even have a flaw. Something I should be rubbing in their faces. I'm not going to ask for forgiveness because I should work to fix this but just know I am sorry" he said, kissing her cheek softly

"good because I wasn't gonna forgive you yet" she giggled, kissing his cheek as she laid back down

Eddie laughed and laid next to her, wrapping her in his arms

"I am sorry. And I will tell the boys that I'm much louder in the bedroom" he smirked

"good" she said, smacking his chest as she closed her eyes.

~~

Together they will be the loudest couple in every room

Tags!

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[shiraishi-kanade]

Interactions that I want to see in proseka: An Shiraishi edition

Buckle up, folks. This is gonna be a long one.

New interactions

An & Kanade: this is actually more of a biased one (in a "I want to see two of my favourite characters interact" way), but I really hope to see more of them. An and Kanade are aware of each other's existence through Mizuki and the Twilight Festival event, but it's very surface level and I really want their potential to be explored more.

Despite appearing very different on the surface level and leading very different lifestyles, An and Kanade have been foils to each other basically since launch. They both grew up surrounded by music; they both have, and have shown since a very young age, a prominent talent in it (singing and composing respectively); they're both extremely passionate about what they do and are very hardworking, to the point of sacrificing their own well-being to it (a trait that, interestingly, more like early Kanade, but more recent An), and they also have a shared topic of grief.

Both An and Kanade suffered a loss of a loved one that impacted them deeply, and both of them choose to, at least to some extent, repress their own feelings regarding that. While I don't think their interaction/event should necessarily touch on that topic, I think it would be good for the both of them to have a friend who can relate to something that horrifying and personal.

(Additionally, while we didn't know what killed Kanade's mom, we know it was some kind of illness, and chances are it'll be same/similar to what killed Nagi. If Kanade shared how it was for her to witness her mom slowly fading away... I think that would make for an interesting conversation.)

Honestly, I'd take just about anything with those two, from grief and angst to composing and potentially even light-hearted event like Spojoy Park. I just really want them to meet properly.

An & Emu: Genki girls!! They are very dear to me personally despite not having met properly yet. They're also the reason I'm upset An has moved on from disciplinary committee: missed opportunity for her to catch Emu sneaking in! They would be fun to be around each other, I think, once An would get used to Emu's manner of speech (which she also somewhat shares, as shown in Nuanced Language sidestory. An being able to understand Emu-language from the get go would be a hilarious twist)

On the more serious note! Emu and An have a lot of shared themes, especially those of loneliness and abandonment issues, and also the way they chose to deal with those feelings. A lot of people say they're suppressing their emotions; I'm rather inclined to say they're avoiding them. If faced with each other who are, in a way, a reflection of their flaws, they might not be able to avoid it anymore - I think that would potentially be a very insightful interaction for them.

Moreover, they (along with a couple other characters, like Touya and Kanade, although for them it's much more minor) share the topic of legacy. Both of them lost a close one that has left behind a dream and both of them, voluntarily, stepped up to keep it alive. I think in that regard An and Emu would be able to understand each other in a very unique way. They have way more to their possible friendship than it seems on a surface level.

An & Mafuyu: one of An's most defining character traits is being a good friend and accepting of everyone - more than that, she earnestly believes she could accept all people if she tried hard enough. I think, for Mafuyu, having a friend, or even an acquaintance like that, someone who is put off by her behaviour and overall mannerisms but actively tries to understand her and be friends with her despite that, as well as someone who is so passionate about a dream she has she build her whole life around it, would be very useful.

(this is also the reason I hold a grudge with 2024 White Day event. It's beautiful and fun and all but An's not had a limited card for over a year and haven't had neither Valentine's nor White day, I thought FOR SURE this one. We could have had it all :( )

An & Saki: similar to An and Emu, both of them have a lot of both serious and comedic potential. They're lively, they're athletic, they're passionate about music - there is no feasible reason for them to not hit it off right away when they meet. I don't quite imagine the rest of their groups being able to keep up with their energy.

Still, underneath that energy, there is an underlying topic of loneliness that they both went through, and although An's is incomparable to Saki's, I think there would be this kind of understanding between them, too. While being extroverted and having a lot of friends, An has spend years searching for "her" person without success up until main story. I don't think she had any actual, deep bonds with peers going on in her life aside Haruka. Having a close-knit, big friend group might just be what both An and Saki have missed out on in middle school. That's an interesting observation, isn't it?

More of That, please (Already know each other but I want to see them More)

An & Haruka: in terms of Haruka and An, I really want to see more backstory for them. I know we've already seen it briefly, but there is so much more to it. How close were they? Did Haruka know Nagi in person or from description? What is Haruka's relationship with Vivid Street? Did she go to WEG to sort her thoughts out because An was there, or because it has a connection to her, too (The Non-Idol Me sidestory)? Did they grow more distant throughout Junior High? There is much to unpack here still!

And also, I just like their friendship overall and think we're really lacking their area interactions and accidental meetings, stuff like that. There should definitely be more.

An & Rui: the sillies. Now that An isn't a hall monitor I expect her to take absolute delight in Rui's antics.

They've performed together a total of three times (if we count the New Year show, even though it was more of a Tsukasa stage) and all of them went spectacularly. An is just the right amount of impulsive and reckless to be someone who's able to meet Rui's ideas halfway and match his energy, even though she's normally skeptical about it when she isn't a part of the performance. Hell, An even jokingly mentions becoming an actress!

I think they definitely should interact more and I want it to be utterly ridiculous. It's a shame it didn't happen a little earlier in Rui's story, but, for example, An (together with some other characters) doing acting gigs for Rui could be extremely fun.

An & Tsukasa: both the comedic and the serious angst potential is there; An's and Tsukasa's recent arcs do align quite nicely even though they're not exactly the same. They could probably have a nice conversation about it.

I think it's also fun to see An not realising that she comes off just as loud and pushy to other people as Tsukasa seems to her. But they definitely do have the same energy! I really liked Let's Study Hard and the New Year's Show for that; they're extremely passionate and Tsukasa admires An's passion and skill - I wish they elaborated on this more!

Also, An should definitely have something going on with Tsukasa with her passing the role of the hall monitor to him, especially with Rui around. No way they won't even mention it.

An & Shiho: they had an awesome time together during the In The Corner of Resonant Town and I'm BEGGING for them to get closer as friends. From fashion sense to music to their personal issues, they have a lot in common. I think they've had their share of deep talks and I'm not exactly looking for that anymore; something more relaxed like a jam session or just hanging out is another thing, thought.

An & Ichika: I'm biased in a way that I love them and I also think it would be very funny for Ichika to have a second vocal teacher. Ichika & Nene are very dear to my heart, but as things stand, An should canonically be more skilled in vocals (while Nene is definitely a superior actor) and her skillset probably fits Ichika's genre better. And An was teaching Kohane at the start, so we know she knows how to! There is no particular motive behind it other than I want to see them together more and I think that would be a perfect way for them to get closer.

Additionally, Shiho mentioned how An must be experienced in MCing and how there must be a lot they can learn from her. That. I want that to happen so badly.

An & Nene: no thought head empty just please more of them. Especially singing. I want them to sing together again, I loved hearing Nene's little monologue and I like the way Nene was able to give An tips on acting and singing while acting; they're extremely sweet, they're polar opposites while also being similar in a bizarre way, and I really want the writers to go all in with the classmates thing.