#especially since I have so many ideas for the sequel but I don’t want to start seriously writing that until I’m done with this one

[theamazingannie]

One of my stories goes back and forth between present day and flashbacks so I thought a good way of separating the two would be to write in past tense for the past and present tense for the present until I remembered that I HATE writing in present tense so I scrapped that but I really wish I changed my mind sooner cuz after months of editing I’m STILL finding present tense verbs in here and I’m losing my mind

[katerinaaqu]

What makes the Heart Beat (An Achilles and Antilochus one-shot)

Somehow a sequel to this:

Antilochus was walking fast. His feet seemed to have grown wings even if he was trying to appear like walking casually. He had no idea what was making his heart beat so fast but he knew he had somehow to hurry up. He had received a note with one of Achilles’s slaves that Achilles requested his presence in his tent. They had grown pretty close recently, especially since the day they had shared their sad fates with each other. Antilochus was even afraid all the time that Achilles still wished for death; he could see it in his sad eyes quite often, however the fact that he gained life every time he saw him was filling him both with joy and relief. Perhaps, the Noblest of all the Greeks would find a reason to live after all. He had promised to protect him and Antilochus believed him. He already felt safer closer to him. As he reached the tent he took one breath. It didn’t matter how many times he had been summoned there or walked in there; Antilochus always felt a bit nervous. Achilles was the greatest of all heroes among them; his idol, and yet he was now so casual with him. It felt surreal and amazing at the same time. He rubbed his chilly hands together as a shiver ran down his spine. Winter as in for good at the foot of Troy. He was wearing his warmer clothes today and he noticed that he would need potentially to wear a coat or a mantle soon. He breathed in and out one last time before walking in. The tent was specious and comfortable as always. Slaves and servants were moving about; they seemed to be setting the benches and the pillows in place. The fire and the coals at the bronze braziers were already creaking friendly and emitting much needed warmth in the tent. His eyes immediately fell upon the central part of the tent and he met the beautiful features of Achilles who immediately gained some life and color to his cheeks upon seeing him. Antilochus shyly brushed a rebellious lock of hair behind his ear.

“You asked for my presence…my lord” he said

“Yes” Achilles replied

For one second Antilochus would swear he seemed almost as nervous as he was for one second!

“I…” the Best of the Achaeans stared, “I got some wine from Pthia today. I was wondering if you wanna share”

The younger man smiled without being able to stop himself. Achilles indeed seemed in need of company.

“Sure” Nestorides replied, “I would be happy to!”

“Then…come! Please come near the fire to get warm!”

Yes, Achilles often did that too. He was a good host, that much he remembered. Whoever got to his tent would eat and drink to their fill while Achilles would play his lyre or talk to them on stuff to keep them entertained. Antilochus took the offer gladly as he approached the bench right next to the man he admired as the servants were already mixing the wine to the crater. Antilochus noticed then the covered object to the other end of the room. He almost smiled again seeing how Achilles was trying to heed his advice and stop having the golden urn in plain sight. He quickly lowered his gaze, feeling Achilles looking at him; not wishing to share more of that thought with him. He didn’t want to rub salt in open wounds. The slaves brought plates with cooked eggs and fish and seasonal fruit as well as golden cups for them to drink from. Achilles had prepared a whole feast! Antilochus half-regretted having a good breakfast that morning so that he could honor his host by appreciating more of his hospitality!

“Please…” Achilles said, fixing a fur cover over his shoulder, “Help yourself. Don’t be shy…”

Antilochus obayed. How could he refuse such an offer? He took an egg and softly chewed on it, feeling also the spice that were sprinkled over it to his tongue. Achilles mimicked the move by cutting a flatbread in half, offering him one half and then lazily biting at the crust but he seemed as without appetite as he could be more. Antilochus noticed that he had barely made himself presentable and that was because of him and his visit. He did seem down as he was that day they firstly talked heart to heart and he felt privileged to sense that his presence might have had some positive effect on him. As the wine was poured in the jug, Achilles made a dismissive move with his hand.

“I won’t need you anymore!” he said almost too harshly even if he wasn’t yelling, “I believe I can pour my own wine. I will entertain my guest. Leave us alone!”

The women did not object as they bowed their heads and left. Antilochus noticed the last to leave stopping and looking with sad eyes towards Achilles, who was busy serving the wine to pay attention to her. She was a beauty of brown eyes and wavy hair to the color of pinewood; she smelt of a fine aromatic oil. Antilochus remembered her around. She was Briseis; Achilles’s most priced woman; his status prize and a woman he had expressed his feelings so strongly for a year before. Briseis sighed sadly, covered herself with her warm vail and exited the tent.

“She’s beautiful…” Antilochus whispered absentmindedly.

Achilles looked up for the first time towards the direction Briseis had left.

“She is…” he whispered honestly, “She means so much to me…but…I have to confess you these days I feel like I cannot stand the sight of her…”

“Why?” Antilochus asked as if on an impulse, taking the cup Achilles had offered him

“You know why…” Achilles whispered

His voice was suddenly husky; raspy even. It was the voice he had when anger was boiling inside him but this time the anger was different. It was self-directed.

“I love her…I care for her but…because of her I…I…”

His hands clenched at his cup.

“Because I…”

“Achilles!” Antilochus whispered pleadingly, “Stop blaming yourself!”

“And who’s there to blame?”

Suddenly Achilles looked at him. His blue eyes were liquid with fresh tears.

“At first I wanted to blame the gods…then Hector…then I had no idea anymore! And yet nothing would have happened if I had listened to him! If only I never sent him in my place!”

“What’s done, it’s done” Antilochus said, “The gods have a weird fate for all of us”

“I…” Achilles wiped his newly shed tears, “I never expected to lose him! I always knew he would bury me! I always expected that I would die first… When we left from Skyros he was almost tearful…”

Antilochus realized how he strategically avoided to speak his name; he felt as if uttering the very sound of his companion’s name would tear him apart.

“He thought he would bid me goodbye…and he tagged along. He knew that I would die…and then…I saw his body…at my feet… I…I had no idea that I…that he…”

The youth saw his idol jerk by some unspoken sob. He had to bring his fist to his mouth to stop the new moan from arising.

“Achilles…”

The man he loved and admired suddenly forced a smile to his face.

“I am such an idiot!” he said, “I am collapsing again! I am here to entertain you not get you all sadder with the same repetitive speech of mine!”

“My lord…please…don’t you think for a moment-…”

“Taste the wine!” Achilles interrupted with a forced cheerfulness, “See the wine from my homeland and let me know”

For one more time Antilochus obeyed and brought the goblet to his lips. He tasted the rich wine to his tongue; it was light, lighter than what he expected and had a juicy flavor that reminded him of summer. He felt the eyes of Achilles on him. He felt like he should say something.

“It is exquisite, my lord…” he managed to utter, “Truly can see how much your homeland means to you”

That seemed to have positive effect for his loved idol smiled, this time genuinely, and took a sip of his own. Antilochus observed the lines of his face; he had the beauty of a woman and the strength of a man. How was it possible, even if he was not taking the same good care of himself?

“I see you started growing your beard” Antilochus mentioned as a matter of fact.

“I do?” Achilles seemed shocked as he touched the light, blonde hair that had started to grow to his chin, “I…didn’t notice…”

Antilochus raised a brow. For one second he remembered that Achilles would be now old enough to grow and take care of his beard but now he seemed genuinely shocked to discover its existence. That also seemed, Antilochus realized, that for one more thing he had abandoned himself.

“I don’t like it. Can you help me?”

“My lord? You don’t feel like taking care of your beard?”

“No” Achilles’s reply left no room for doubt, “P-…he liked my face as it was… I did too. I don’t need beard to tell me that I managed to survive this long! Can you help me?”

“I…” Antilochus rubbed the back of his nape in thought, taking another sip of wine, “I would be delighted to be of assistance but surely you can do it yourself…or one of your slaves can…”

“Right now…I don’t trust my hands much with blades close to me…” Achilles confessed, “And I do not want any of my slaves close now! You are the only company I need! Please…”

Color climbed to Antilochus’s cheeks at that remark. Surely Achilles would have many people to rely on and yet he chose him! Once again his lips curled to a small smile.

“I…I am not sure if I am the best candidate to assist with this, my lord, but I will do my best”

Achilles seemed satisfied. He stood up from his seat and went to a wooden box at the corner and took a dagger out. It was one of his most priced possessions; a dagger made of the rare blue iron of the east. Not many people had such weapons to their disposal. As he came back instead of sitting to his bench he curled upon the sheep rug he would have around the heath of fire. He patted a spot next to him.

“Come nearer the fire…” were his cheekbones painted pink because of the heat of the fire or maybe…? “It’s easier to see here…”

Antilochus gulped and for one more time obeyed. He sat and took the knife before carefully approaching the older man’s face. He focused probably way too much. He almost felt the slightest miscalculation would hurt Achilles’s tender-looking skin. The youth felt almost laughing at himself. Achilles had the fame of being invulnerable to any kind of weapon and yet here he was wondering whether he would scratch him with a blade. And yet his skin looked almost sensitive; as if a drop of rain could damage it! His complexion was pale and rosy, slightly sprinkled with light freckles along the shoulders and arms. Being so close to his face let him see with more detail his blue orbs reflected in the fire; the lips of his that were so soft and expressive all the time. Hands shaking he placed his free hand to the chin of the Son of Peleus trying to focus at how he would shave him better.

“You’re very good at this…”

Antilochus blushed.

“Y-You’re very kind, my lord…”

“I might call you to do it next time too!” Achilles teased him

“D-Don’t tease me, Achilles!”

“I’m being serious!” Achilles chuckled in response

“Y-You don’t sound serious!” Antilochus complained, “Anyway…I think I am done”

Achilles felt across his chin. He made a hum of approval but he didn’t say anything. The corner of his eye followed Antilochus’s movement as he attempted to return the dagger.

“Keep it” Achilles said softly, pushing it towards him

“N-No! I can’t possibly…!”

“Keep it…” Achilles repeated, “So you can have something to remember me…when…when I…”

“Achilles! Please don’t! Don’t say that! I told you-…”

“Let’s be realistic here” Achilles finally said, “That is my fate. Whether I stop talking about it or not will make no difference. I will do my best to protect you, Antilochus!”

It was the first time Achilles had actually voiced his name that day and Antilochus felt a shiver down his spine, feeling the syllables that consisted it running to Achilles’s tongue.

“You won’t die in Troy while I live! I promised you that! But I know I will not leave Troy…so, please, I want you to have this…to remember me…perhaps my spirit will be with you the time when…when your fate is to strike you, maybe this dagger will stop it from appearing…”

Antilochus clenched the deadly weapon to his chest, feeling his heart increasing a beat. What made this man’s heart beat, he wondered? How could he find that so that he would gain more faith that perhaps his own fate was not irreversible? Somehow he knew he sounded like a naive child by thinking that but he wouldn’t bear the thought of losing him either; for once he understood his other half, the name avoided all evening; Patroclus. Patroclus; a man he so much envied and felt sorry for but mostly the envy was that he could influence the heart of this great man so effortlessly, even if he was so far away now while he, Antilochus, had to struggle to make himself adequate to the situation! He felt ashamed of his jealousy and yet he couldn’t help himself. Perhaps that was what kept him going now.

“Thank you, my dear…” he finally said, “I will treasure it always”

“It’s yours…” Achilles whispered

The silence that passed between them was both awkward and tensed. Neither of them stood up to go back to their seats. In fact they continued getting warmed up by the fire and each other’s presence. It was as if the benches were too far apart; and this closeness was warm. He thought he should say something to break the ice but, unexpectedly, it was Achilles the one to smile again and speak.

“Do you want me to play something for you?”

“If that would please you, my lord…”

“I am asking you!” Achilles said with a light laugh, “You are my guest. You shall tell me how you want to be entertained!”

Antilochus drew one more sip of wine and smiled back. It truly felt amazing that he had the impact on him that he could make him smile.

“Then…I would be delighted to hear you play, my lord.”

Once more, the man dear to his heart smiled and rose only to fetch his lyre from the hanger he kept it. He sat back down and placed the fur blanket over his shoulders anew. After taking a few minutes to tune his instrument, Achilles began to play a light melody. Antilochus realized he could hear him play for hours. He would only stop to sip some wine and ask him if there was something else he wanted to hear. Eventually he grew tired and he needed to fetch more wine from the crater. He placed the lyre on the bench he sat before and rose to fetch the newly filled jug. Antilochus smiled, watching him. Everything was so out of the heart with Achilles! Achilles eyed towards his head; his hair, seeing the hairpin that was holding it together. With one move he pulled that hairpin out and Antilochus felt his hair cascade down his shoulders.

“Achilles!” he almost shrieked, “Give that back!”

“Not on your life!” Achilles chuckled, then turning serious again he whispered, “You have very beautiful hair.”

Antilochus felt blood climbing to his head again.

“I-I do? Never thought of it”

“Let me braid it for you…” Achilles suggested, “To return the favor for the shave”

Antilochus felt he couldn’t blush more but apparently he could!

“I-If that would please you, my lord…”

“It would!” Achilles replied playfully.

The young son of Nestor gulped a bit and showed Achilles his back. The prince of Pthia softly pulled all the locks back and combed the wavy, dark brown hair with his fingers. Antilochus’s long hair cascaded almost all the way to his hips. He had fathomed he should trim it a bit to stop getting in his way. Feeling Achilles’s light fingers work on the several pieces of hair, carefully already arranging it in small braids made his heart beat faster. Once more he wondered what made Achilles’s own heart beat because his had a pretty obvious reason!

“Your hair seem as if made to be braided!” he heard Achilles whispering

“I…” he stammered back, “I never thought of doing that before…I usually thug it high in my helmet”

“Shame” Achilles commented, “It really suits you”

Feeling the care in those fingers, Antilochus wondered; did he use to do that to Patroclus as well? Or Patroclus used to do that for him? He heard him hum as if trying to surpass a laughter.

“What?”

“Nothing” Achilles dismissed it, “It is just…I remember the first day you came here…”

“Y-You still remember that!?” Antilochus blushed

“Of course. You rushed in this tent asking for my support to your decision to fight; to make your father understand, you said”

“And you helped me…like nothing…”

“How could I refuse such a brave offering? Although…”

His movements stopped for one second.

“...Hearing the fate you had in store…I regret it…”

“Don’t!”

Antilochus turned around all of the sudden and he held Achilles’s hands in his.

“Don’t you ever say you regret it! It was my decision back then! It was my decision to stay even if I overheard the conversation of my father’s! I am scared, yes, but you have nothing to be blamed for! And I know you said you will protect me. That is enough for me! You do not need to apologize all the time for the games of fate that befall others! Please don’t do that, dear to my heart! Please!”

There was some silence between them anew but Achilles smiled.

“Yes…you are right. Forgive me…”

Forgive you! Forgive you! How can I forgive you and your heart big enough to fit us all! Antilochus wanted to scream and yet he remained silent. He let Achilles finish.

“There! I believe I did a decent job!” he approached the bronze spectrum to his face

Antilochus faced himself as he never saw it before; his wavy hair was half-arranged at some small braids Achilles had tied together with some colorful strings he had cut off the edge of his shawl, while Antilochus had his back at him! He was at loss of words.

“I-Is that me…?” he whispered feeling like an idiot for saying this

“It is!” Achiles chuckled, “I told you, you have beautiful hair!”

Antilochus eyed Achilles as well. His hair was cut short for the funeral of Patroclus. Now it had started to grow again but barely touched his shoulders. He lowered his eyes. This man knew how to love; he had loved with a passion he never saw in any other mortal! Achilles seemed to him like the expert to the matters of the heart!

“Achilles…” Antilochus hesitated, “Don’t get me wrong but…I have a silly question.”

“Hm? Shoot” Achilles drank some more wine

“How…how did you realize…you know…”

“Realize what?”

“You know…” Antilochus blushed again, “That you…feel something for someone. I mean…” he looked down in his cup, “You tell me sometimes on your wife and child and all…”

“Oh. That…”

Was that disappointment in his voice? Fatigue? New sadness?

“It’s hard to tell…I mean…Diadeima is a very good woman; a strong and kind woman. She bore me a son but I barely could see his first steps happening before coming to Troy. I care deeply for both; their well-being and safety. I guess that is a sign enough…”

He was strategically avoiding the subject again. He knew that if he had asked this man about his most intense emotions he would probably break down, cry and be much more descriptive than that. However the explanation he gave was good enough on its own.

“My father got me married when I was 13 too…”

“He didn’t!” Achilles banged his hand down the fleece

That look on his face was a genuine childish happiness Antilochus hadn’t see before! He was genuinely shocked in the most positive way; especially that he heard something new about his new companion! That gave Antilochus the boost to continue.

“I suppose he wanted us all to be able to have a family as soon as possible. He had always a big family and he was already getting older back then. I guess he wanted to make sure that we could start our family soon to be with them for as long as possible… I think I left my wife pregnant before embarking for Troy!”

“No!” once again the same look of childish enthusiasm and disbelief emerged

Antilochus wondered if the wine they had both drunk so far made him more cheerful, finally letting go of some of his sadness. In fact for one second he thought he had something in common that he didn’t have with Patroclus! They had the same fate with their spouses!And this new connection made him so happy; more than what he could express!

“Well…” he started, “That’s what I think. I left for Troy soon after but I think that was what she was trying to tell me.”

“How are they?”

Antilochus shrugged.

“I don’t know, haven’t heard anything of them for five years ever since I came here…”

“Ah…good…” Achilles mumbled absentmindedly

Realizing what he said made him once more gasp and raise his hands in defense.

“No! I mean…not good! That is not good definitely!”

Antilochus chuckled lightly. Maybe he too was getting cheerful by the wine after all. But once more he realized how much better suited this smile to Achilles over sadness.

“No need to worry too much, Achilles.” he reassured him, “The reason I am asking is exactly because I am not sure of my feelings on them. I mean I barely knew them. Of course I care for their safety and all but if I am honest I still feel like a child now, yet alone back then. I was barely out of my childhood…and yet being prepared for a family…”

He turned the drink in his cup in thought.

“I am not sure how to feel about it…”

“I understand” Achilles said sincerely, “I know how that feels like…”

“Yes, you do, don’t you? I knew you would understand…”

“It will come with time, I suppose…” the prince of Pthia replied, “it is a matter of time till you can go back home and see them again and…catch up, you know…”

“Perhaps…”

For some reason that day seemed way too distant; almost unimportant compared to the present; to this closeness with the greatest of all heroes on earth. Achilles took a mischievous expression as he smiled.

“So…have you ever since…you know!”

Antilochus once more blushed. He had lost counting how many times he did!

“I-…of course I did…once or twice…here I mean. Some slaves my father gave me that is… Can’t say I am that much invested to it!”

He cleared his throat.

“What about you?”

“No…” the answer was again immediate, “Not ever since…”

“I understand!” Antilochus rushed to stop the train of his thoughts

The last he wanted was to let Achilles sink to melancholy anew; not now that he had experienced his happiness and laughter! Achilles seemed to take the cue and stop. However then he half-smirked again as if he was about to say some good gossip.

“And have you ever experienced…you know?”

It took him ten seconds to realize what the Noblest of all Greeks was implying and when he did, he swore all the liters of his blood had climbed to his face, almost making him explode. He had no idea why he reacted like that but the question resonated way too deep for his own good!

“N-No!” he replied, perhaps louder than what he intended, “Never…I mean I came here so…I never had… way too many experiences of that kind anyways!”

It was way too awkward for some reason; why was his heart hammering against his ribcage?

“Antilochus…” Achilles whispered drawing his attention

And he then felt the warm, slightly calloused from the sword palm against his cheek. His face slowly turned and then Achilles’s soft lips were against his own. He forgot how to breathe! It took him several seconds till his paralyzed brain realized it was the pair of lips massaging his softly. And then all his mind could think was; Achilles! Achilles is kissing me! His lips tasted of wine and spices, his body had a slight essence of sweat combined with the smoke of the fire…he was warm. Antilochus felt the warmth spread in him like a wave. Achilles was kissing him in a slow and methodical manner; like a person that knew what he was doing; a man far more experienced than what Antilochus was in affairs and intimacy…and Antilochus felt like flying; the touch against his lips and the ghost-touch of that thumb to his cheek…the magic of the moment had left him speechless and out of reality. The soft lip-locking lasted only a few seconds and those seconds seemed like eternity; like the Elysian Fields! All his contact with reality was lost for those few seconds! Achilles pulled back, massaging his cheek with his finger.

“That’s how it feels…” he whispered against his lips

He let him go and only then was the magic evaporating.

“Achilles!” Antilochus screeched, “Please stop playing with me!”

“I am not”

Was that sincerity in his look? Antilochus was way too embarrassed to speak!

“But…” the elder man smirked, “You make it irresistible not to tease you!”

His head seemed ready to explode. For one second he wondered what that proposal was all about and the second he felt like he was the one to misunderstand! Achilles was reserved as well. It was as if he was unprepared for the consequences of his own actions. He brushed some hair behind his ear.

“I-I..need to go…” Antilochus said standing up

“Of course. I understand. It’s late” Achilles replied numbly

“Y-yeah… Thank you very much for the wine…and the meal! It was great”

“Sure…” Achilles once more reply

For one second he seemed worried as he added;

“You will come over again, right?”

His eyes looked almost hurt; as if he was afraid his joke or not so much had ruined their relationship they built so far. Antilochus smiled a bit.

“Of course” that was said very easily. “I would be delighted…m-my lord”

“Good! Be careful on your way back!”

“I-I will!”

And he left the tent…

*

Antilochus was running like his feet had grown wings! He had no idea what had happened or why he felt so curious not to mention eager to see the next stage of this! All his accumulated emotions; admiration, sympathy, worry, fear, jealousy and now this weird new desire that arose made him feel ready to explode! He ignored several of the slaves that walked past him (daresay he must have bumped into several of them) or of several soldiers that tried to stop him or ask him what was wrong. Antilochus didn’t stop until his breath was cut off. He then halted and leaned against a wooden pike of a tent, breathing heavily; his breath coming in white clouds in the evening winter cold. He clasped the dagger to his chest; the dagger that touched the flesh of Achilles and now that was given to him as a gift or as memorial and he tried to put his thoughts in order; he couldn’t remember when was the last time someone kissed him like this! Was it is wife on their wedding night? He highly doubted it; they were both young, scared and unsure. It definitely was not one of the slaves he bedded at the camp; none of them had any reason to be passionate with him; for once he was not particularly experienced or daring as a lover and for second they were slaves; they were probably afraid of him deep down. Achilles was the first person to kiss him first! The first person to add so many emotions in one kiss and, by gods, it was just a soft and chaste touch!

“Oh gods…!” he mumbled, “Gods…!”

His heart was hammering against his chest at the memory; the lips against his; the hand on his cheek… His idol had kissed him…his hero had held him closer than ever before! He wondered what that meant; was it just a moment’s tease? A moment of weakness and loneliness…or was it maybe a promise? A potential promise for more? He shook his head violently at the thought, trying to pull his thoughts together.

“Focus!” he said to himself, “You have a war to fight! Achilles relies on you! Stop having weird thoughts like this! If Achilles means something like that…he will let you know!”

And yet his hand touched his hammering heart. And then he wondered maybe that was what made the heart beat after all and maybe that was the answer to his question; somehow he knew now…that he knew how it felt!

*

Achilles was left alone in his tent after Antilochus left. He couldn’t find his voice not even to call the slaves back in and gather the remains of their meal… The silence was chocking him and yet he couldn’t feel himself break it! He was shocked at himself; the reaction that started as a joke, potentially pushed by the wine they had consumed; a mutual teasing about their love life made him move fast and taste the boy’s lips! And that chaste touch had awoken something inside him he had thought frozen ever since he gathered the ashes of his other half from the funeral pyre! That young man who apparently could understand him in every shape or form had somehow awakened this new or rather the old and forgotten feeling inside him; had awakened his need to live, his will to protect and now this… He clenched the hair pin he had somehow forgotten to return to Antilochus. It still bore one or two of his brown hairs on it. He clenched it against his beating heart. And now there was another feeling he knew well; guilt… He eyed the cloth that was hanging like a silent ghost. He had not even the strength to stand. Only he crawled to the spot and grasped the piece of linen, pulling it down. The golden urn came back on sight. Achilles then felt his throat burn; tied in a knot.

“Forgive me…” he whispered

His trembling hand touched the cold, golden surface.

“F-Forgive me…heart of my heart…I can’t do this anymore!” he whispered

Tears arose from his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. The pin was clasped in his hand against his chest; like a sinful proof of a criminal action.

“I can’t bear this anymore…! The loneliness…the longing! Forgive me…! Please try to understand! I can’t keep pushing people away…f-for you…!”

He moaned in desperation.

“Oh gods…!” he mumbled, “Forgive me for my words! My beloved! Soul of my soul…dear as my own life and heart! Forgive me! But I cannot do this anymore! I am alive! I am not a corpse! I cannot keep going like this! Forgive me…forgive me! Please! Try to understand…”

He had no idea what made his heart beat more;

The past the present or the nonexistent future?

****

Soooo it has become colder around here so I got inspired for another fluffy thing after also a conversation with @ellilyre about these two and I just couldn't help but explore a bit more the possibility!

So yeah fluffy stuff!

Antilochus according to some versions of the myth he was too young at the beginning of the war but at the 5th year he arrived to Troy and asked for Achilles to support his decision to fight because Nestor had objections being terrified by the prophecy

Once again I wanted to create some more tragic climate for Achilles because I so agree with people who say he was not prepared to lose Patroclus but he loses him. Now he makes a promise that he will protect Antilochus but as we know Antilochus would die by the hands of Memnon

According some myths Antilochus was also married and left an heir behind so I wanted to include that here!

I based Antilochus's description on his depiction at a vase.

The detail with the iron dagger was inspired by a conversation I had with @captnbunnie Homer mentions Iron as anachronism in his poems however iron was not completely unknown (although not widely used) so yeah decided to sneak it in as well and make it a bit more "period accurate" by making it some luxury item.

And decided to add the emotional conflict here. What do you think? Let me know!

Once again special mention to @ellilyre and of course my dear friend @artsofmetamoor because most of my work reflects a lot stories we work together with!

[aloesarchives]

JJK Lore Headcanons for "Toji Lives/Megumi cock blocks Toji" AU: Shibuya Incident & Post Shibuya

Warning: !!!SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLYS!!!, Female/Afab! Reader, Author(me) being a really fucking annoying narrator once again, Swearing, Inaccuracy to the anime and manga, Things that don't make sense but have been trying to, Switching between reader and you, Mentions of OCs but reader is not one, Toji dawging everyone up, Higher-ups being losers, Mention of deaths, Reader not giving a fuck anymore lol

!!Disclaimer!!: These are my PERSONAL headcanons, thoughts, and opinions on how these arcs would play out with Toji being an ally and Reader's thoughts and role in both arcs

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing:Toji x Mama!/Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 4.9k words

Summary: Lore Headcanons for the “Toji lives”/”Megumi cock blocks Toji” AU for the Shibuya Incident and Post Shibuya.

So with the Shibuya Incident and Post Shibuya, it’s going to be more interesting with Toji being alive, and with him and Reader playing active roles in the arcs. This is a sequel to this headcanon. I’ll split it into two sections: the first is the Shibuya Incident itself and the second half is Post Shibuya, including Itadori's Extermination Arc and The Perfect Preparations arc. However, I probably won’t be making a post for the Culling Games arc and Shinjuku Shown arc because I stopped reading the manga around the start of the Culling Games w/ Tsumiki being awakened which is around mid-2021. So I have been relying heavily on Twitter posts, spoilers, and short videos to explain what’s been going on in the ongoing story. So I need to catch up with JJK itself. Plus, with Toji and Reader’s role in Shibuya and post Shibuya, it would completely change the trajectory of the current JJK plot. Especially with how the Culling Games lead to Shinjuku Showdown. So for now, I’ll be more focused on Shibuya and Post Shibuya. Also, these are based on Fakeweeb video on Youtube where he explained what the Shibuya incident arc would be like if Toji was on our side. However, that video is based on him being resurrected from the Old Grandma Monk. I am mostly changing it for the sake of my AU and completely telling Post Shibuya through my eyes. A majority of these ideas are credited to Fakeweeb’s speculation and explanation for the Shibuya Arc. So if you’re interested, you can check out the video and see for yourself.

Shibuya Incident Arc Headcanons

Toji’s Role:

Okay, with the Shibuya Incident, there are some major differences that will need a lot of explaining so bear with me on this.

First is addressed is deaths. Because Toji is both alive and an ally, many deaths and injuries would have been prevented/non-existed. Like Nanami, Nanako, Mimiko, Nobara if you want, civilians, etc. They will live and their condition isn’t bad because of the changed circumstances. Toji would have prevented Nanami, Maki, and even Naobito from getting burnt by Jogo. Prevented Todo from losing his hand.

Second, certain events will either have different fighters, outcomes, or not exist at all. With Toji entering as an ally, his support and actions will cause certain events to change or not happen at all such as the Toji vs Megumi fight that never even happened. To which it also means that Sukuna doesn’t get resurrected because Jogo doesn’t find Yuuji and feed him Sukuna’s 10 other fingers nor does Nanako and Mimiko feed a finger to an unconscious Yuji. Meaning the two girls don’t die when Sukuna awakens. This would mean that Megumi never summoned Mahoraga in the first place nor did Jogo fight Sukuna. 

So essentially, Toji pulls up to Shibuya and finds a black sphere in the middle of one of the subway stations. And since Toji has no curse energy, he could just walk right into the Domain but he sees a little hole opening up and decides to invite himself to the battle. The next thing he knows, he is surrounded by Megumi, Maki, Nanami, and Naobito as they struggle against Dagon. Toji just has this blank stare, not looking at anyone but he does wink at Megumi. He just goes up to Maki, snatches Playful Cloud from her, and just walks deeper into the Domain. Naobito has some flashbacks, Nanami gives a questioning glare, and Maki looks back at Megumi like, “Yo Megumi, isn’t that your Dad? What’s he doing?” and Megumi is just like “You’re asking me? I didn’t even know he still fights.”

This is the moment he realizes how leagues above his dad in terms of raw strength and power. He couldn’t fathom that his two teachers, revered as the two strongest in all of the Jujutsu World, were beaten by him. Even Gojo at one point was killed by his dad, but he could never believe it because his dad had no curse technique whatsoever. But seeing Toji fight Dagon in their own domain, overwhelming them, and straight up dawging him with raw brute strength, Megumi finally starts to understand why his dad was notoriously feared throughout the Jujutsu World. That if it wasn’t Reader/you, he would have completely changed the trajectory of the Jujutsu World/Society.

It was also the same moment Megumi understood how both of his parents are viewed in Jujutsu Society. His father, a curseless human, is notoriously known as a useless human with raw power that terrorized sorcerers alike, even defeating two special-grade sorcerers. His mother, however, was revered throughout Jujutsu Society(minus the Elders/Higher-ups) for her technique/ability, being the teachers of some of the most powerful sorcerers, and seemingly taming his infamously famous father that was a threat to Jujutsu Society itself. It seems like opposites attract on the surface but Megumi knows his parents are similar to each other than many make it out to be.

Anyway, after Toji’s absolute domination and straight up obliterating Dagon, Megumi starts interrogating his dad. Why was he here? Where were you? Were you safe? Was Tsumiki safe? The boy, for the first time, was a little vulnerable around others. Toji grins at Megumi before ruffling his hair, saying something along the lines of,

“Your sister is safe, your mom made sure. Speaking of her, she’s somewhere in Shibuya right now. Don’t know where cause we split up at the train station. Your mom will be fine on her own.”

But it didn’t explain why Toji was here in the first place. Before Megumi can question Toji’s presence in Shibuya, Naobito beats the unofficial Zen’in to it.

“You got guts to come here, Toji. Remember, you coming here with weapons and not accompanied by (Y/N), that both you and her will be executed? I thought you were a much more cautious person than that. Didn’t 12 years do anything to change you?” Naobito pompously spoke, a slight undertone of mockery laced in it. 

However, the pompous arrogance was meant to cloak the sheer fear and unease that erupted in his body when Toji came into battle. Toji all but scoffs at the Zen’in clan head. He tosses Playful Cloud back to Maki, telling her to keep it because it will help her out later on when she has “broken all of her chains”. Whatever that means, Maki thought. 

Just as Toji was going to explain to Megumi about your intentions, Jogo decides to invite himself to the party and starts spewing out lava from his mini-volcanos. For the sake of plot and creating balance, Maki and Naobito still get burnt. Maki still lives and isn’t as burned as in the canon timeline. Naobito, however, is more heavily injured than Maki that Naoya takes up the clan head position as his father is out of commission. Nanami, on the other hand, doesn’t get burnt because Toji and Megumi decide to team up against Jogo. Saving Nanami from getting severely burnt. Toji told Megumi and Nanami to get the two burnt victims as he deals with Jogo.

Jogo was a challenge to deal with for Toji because the man didn’t want to get burned. But with Celestial Restriction, Toji absolutely murdered Jogo just like he did with Dagon. The man simply overwhelmed the disaster curse with lighting speed and brutal blitz of a  smack down. He obliterated him before Jogocould pull a fast one on him and use his domain expansion or special move. Toji pulls out the Inverted Spear from his new inventory curse and slices Jogo’s head off while also slicing his body into pieces. 

Toji came out with minimal injuries, probably a few scratches(lowkey wished they were your scratches on his back) and some cuts but he is unfazed by it. Anyway, he wandered around Shibuya. Cutting down any curses that get in his way with the Soul Splitting Katana.

Then, he runs into Manhito. Because of Toji’s Celestial Restriction, Manhito can’t one-shot him with idle transfiguration. Manhito puts up a good fight with Toji and was able to hold himself up for quite some time. However, once again, Toji got that dawg in himself and manhandled Manhito to the point that Manhito starts running away while Toji just follows him walking.

Before Toji could even get the chance to near Manhito, the damn curse decides to transform to his awakened potential. Toji does get frustrated at this and decides to pull out Soul Splitting Katana out to finish him off. Then Kenjaku arrives like, “What do we have here? A fucking monkey? That’s no good, come here Manhito.” Then Manhito gets absorbed into one of Kenjaku’s talismans. 

Toji would go after Kenjaku if he wasn’t bombarded by his curses that he released from his talisman. Then back-up arrives, the kyoto gang with Utahime and Kusakabe, Todo and Yuki just jump into the battle, and Choso somehow switches sides. Then not even a minute later, Megumi, Maki, and Nanami pop in to join. Everyone was duking Kenjaku curses and Uraume entered the fray. Kenjaku ends up sustaining injuries so he abandons Uraume and flees. Not before leaving a party gift, two curses that have so much concentrated curse energy that they exploded and created two massive craters in Shibuya. 

Kenjaku escapes and so does Uraume. Leaving the exhausted sorcerers a bit defeated and frustrated.

Reader’s role:

So let’s get to Reader’s role in all of this because You, my friend, are gonna go off those hinges.

So Reader knows what will happen in Shibuya will make or break Jujutsu Society. She also has a gut feeling that the higher-ups would use this event as a way to get away with certain decisions. Such as resuming Yuuji’s execution, leaving sorcerers for dead, not helping at all, etc. To which she was unfortunately right in the end.

As a result, You start to do some of your own scheming of your own. Mostly consisting of getting Toji on the battlefield and helping the others out. While Toji has done some missions for the Jujutsu world, it was mostly out of obligation from you and for the FAT JUICY paycheck he receives when he’s done with the job.

He’s not affiliated with the Jujutsu World and never has acknowledged as much from the higher-ups. Toji is still under restrictions that were set up for him, so the higher-ups said that if Toji participates in Shibuya, you and him will be executed. But after You find out Megumi is a part of the lineup on top of your suspicions, you decide to throw caution to the wind and say fuck them shitty highers ups and those willings to lick their fucking boots.

You knew you’ll be left for dead or purposely killed so the higher up wouldn’t have to deal with you. You were always well aware that the higher ups kept you around for so long because they wanted to use you in any way they could. If only they knew you were just letting them have their fun. Either way, by the end of Shibuya, you would be labeled as a criminal and a fugitive by them just because they had no use for you anymore. So you might as well go all out and have fun.

So you retrieve and unseal the Soul Splitting Katana and the Inverted Soul Spear for Toji to use. Mind you, these weapons have been sealed away for the past 12 years. And the only ones that knew about their location were You, Gojo, Yuta, Yuki, Yaga, Maho, and the Higher ups. However, the higher ups don’t have access to the weapons, they just only know where they are. Anyway, Reader decides to bring them out of retirement because no one else is going to use them or knows how to properly use them unlike Toji. And since Toji was the last owner, she was going to give them back to him while finding a substitute inventory curse to hold the weapons.

You lie and say that you will provide backup if things start to go bad. But the reality is, you went to retrieve the weapons that give Satoru and Suguru PTSD. You are well aware that what you are doing will make you a criminal in the eyes of Jujutsu Society. Letting the sorcerer killer out by himself with the same weapons he used to wreak havoc 12 years ago, the same ones that were supposed to be sealed and hidden away from the Jujutsu public. But you made that choice to not fight for Jujutsu Society a long time ago. You only came back for the sake of cultivating a powerful generation with massive potential to fight against the frauds that see themselves as high and mighty.

You snuck out and retrieved the weapons and came back to Toji, wondering why you were carrying two big black suitcases.

“What's with the suitcases, Hon? You're gonna pack up and get cold feet~?” Toji jokes as he eyes the two black briefcases at your side. He, however, doesn’t address your steel grip on the handles of them.

“Me and running away? Who do you think of me as a coward, Dear? Nah, I just brought back some things to make the playing field a bit more fun for you. Thank me later, Toji.” With that, you slide the briefcases towards his direction.

Toji raises a brow, you never call him by his first name, especially with such monotone. But the underlying firmness gives him a hint as he picks up one of the cases and opens it. The wide eyes and lifted brows, an expression Toji rarely puts on his face. He pulls out the Inverted Soul Spear while dropping its briefcase, not caring if it dented the floor.

“Doll. . . How did you get your hands on this. . .? I thought that Gojo brat destroyed it 12 years ago. . .”

 He was still in disbelief, observing what he believed was his non-existence long-forgotten special grade curse weapon. But now, here it is in perfect condition. Without a second thought, he rips open the other case to find his other weapon, the Soul Splitting Katana. Toji was in awe to see his two special grade weapons, back in his hands again after years being hidden away.

“You said these were long gone. . . One was completely destroyed and the other was hidden in Hokkaido. What gives, (Y/N)?”

You just sighed with a smirk, crossing your arms as you shift your weight to one half of your body. 

“I didn’t mean to lie to you, Honey. It was so the higher ups would get off my ass and leave us alone. Those old geezers didn’t have access to them. They just knew their locations. Plus I threatened Satoru into keeping the Spear. Just officially saying it was dismantled in the records but that’s about it.”

“Never pegged you to be such a liar, (Y/N).”

“Lying isn’t it, my love. I was just manipulating the truth.”

You walk to the kitchen table and throw the sack that was sitting on it towards your husband, who catches it with ease while still holding his weapons. He stares at it before looking back at you with a confused look. You grinned playfully at your husband as you leaned on the table. An unsettling mischievous glint in your eyes sends a small chill throughout his being.

“Gear up, Toji. Let’s take a nightly stroll into Shibuya, shall we~?”

After traveling to the Shibuya district, Reader tells Toji they could cover more ground if they split up. She also tells Toji that if he finds Megumi to help and protect him no matter what. Toji gives a quick kiss before going in the other direction.

Reader wanders around the deserted subway systems before she ends up finding Yuji passed out by one of the public restrooms completely unconscious. By the look of his injuries, he was hurt pretty badly. Just as she was about to carry him to Shoko’s tent, Mimiko and Nanako were running through the station and stopped when you called out to them.

It was then you found out not only was Gojo sealed in the Prison Realm cube, but Geto as well. That could explain Mimiko tearing up with small sniffles while Nanako was holding her tears in with her lip quivering, confirming what her sister said. While comforting the girls the best you can, you asked them to take Yuji to Shoko’s tent for you so you can continue helping your allies. 

After the twins leave with Itadori, you continue to roam Shibuya and run into Haruta. Haruta tries to make quick work of you but you wouldn’t let it slide. So with your curse technique/ability, you killed Haruta without a second thought. You cringed at the blood that splashed on your face and wiped it off with annoyance.

Then Reader gets a call from Yuta, saying that he’s coming back today to help in Shibuya. You informed him of what happened and to be careful of the curses that flood the streets.

Reader does some crowd control and meets with Inumaki to help. While helping Inumaki, Reader has to take care of a big curse before it can do anything. She would have landed a curse technique on if it were not for the nails that stabbed one of its arms and blackish-red flashed by. It was motherfucking Todo and Nobara, a surprising duo.

As the four of you just continue to be curse exterminators, a loud bang erupted throughout the district causing small tremors to happen. You tell Nobara to stay with Inumaki while Todo and you go to where all the real chaos takes place. Todo goes ahead while you are making sure no one else is lying in the streets dead. 

Before you could even get to the battlefield, two big explosions blinded and prevented you from getting any closer. Once the explosions cleared up, you hop down to the battlefield seeing everyone tired and frustrated.

You then inform them that both Gojo and Geto got sealed into the Prison Realm together and need to free them as soon as possible since Kenjaku has a full potential Manhito on hand.

Shibuya Incident Summary:

Gojo and Geto get sealed away in the prison realm together because of Kenjaku and using the civilians as bait.

Nobara, Nanami, Nanako, Mimiko, and I guess Naobito survive for now. There aren’t that many casualties as many would assume.

Sukuna doesn’t get revived or eat any of his fingers. So he doesn’t fight Jogo at all nor gets resurrected.

Megumi never summons Mahoraga and isn’t as injured. So Sukuna vs Mahoraga doesn’t happen at all, creating way less casualties.

Todo doesn’t lose his hand and Inumaki keeps his arm.

Yuji doesn’t continue fighting after his battle with Choso and is taken by the twins after Reader comes across his unconscious body by the bathrooms.

Reader starts to break her filters and go against the Higher Ups by bringing back the Soul Splitting Katana and Inverted Spear with a new inventory curse for Toji to use in Shibuya. You also gear up and go to Shibuya even though the Higher-ups were highly against it. Oops

After dropping off Tsumiki at Jujutsu high with Kuroi, Riko, and Haibara, you and Toji make way to Shibuya.

You two split up to cover more of the district.

Toji unleashing the absolute dawg in him and fucked up anyone that faces him in Shibuya. 

Toji finds Dagon’s domain and jumps through Megumi’s portal he made. Absolutely murdering Dagon with just Playful Cloud. Maki and Naobito get burned by Jogo and Togi tells Megumi to take them and book it.

Toji battles with Jogo and ends up giving him the slice and dice special.

Toji fights and chases Manhito. Manhito gets saved by Kenjaku when he reached peak potential.

Kenjaku releases a bunch of curses to overwhelm Toji but the cavalry arrives. They fight Kenjaku while dealing with his curses and Uraume.

Reader fights alongside Inumaki, then gets back up from Todo and Nobara. See the Kenjaku fight and Todo and you go towards the action. Leaving Inumaki and Nobara.

Reader was almost there to join but got stopped when Kenjaku used his explosion curses to escape. 

Reader joins up with the sorcerers and your son and Toji. 

You tell the group about Gojo and Geto’s situation and it would be best to regroup.

Post Shibuya Arc Headcanons:

So everyone is recovering and healing up from Shibuya. But after what happened in Shibuya, the Highers up decided to play a game for the worst support system.

Once they announced that Gojo and Geto are fugitives/criminals. And if anyone tries to set them free will be put on trial or executed because they said it was illegal to free them. You’know, two of the most powerful sorcerers in the world, even though they’re needed more than ever.

Not only that, they also announced that all the suspended executions would resume.

Which means Yuji’s execution will be carried out, but that also includes Yuta, Yaga, You, and Toji. You and Toji could care less because who the hell is gonna stop and kill the both of you? Tokyo is in shambles right now, curses roaming the streets, Shibuya completely dead, fellow sorcerers are injured or out of commission, there is no order in the Jujutsu Society. So why bother listening to the Higher-ups/Elders if they won’t do anything or just make things harder for everyone else? 

When Megumi hears about it, he is so concerned for you and his dad. His parents are being targeted and killed on-sight even though they literally helped and saved many of the sorcerers in Shibuya. He feared for Toji and your demise, leaving him with Tsumiki with their parents. But you reassured your son that you will not be striked down so easily. Plus with Toji’s original weapons minus his “Chain of a Thousand Miles”, he pretty much is unbeatable right now.

Megumi thought his dad stopped fighting, to which Toji tells Megumi that he goes on missions when he and Tsumiki are at school. He finishes his missions right before they come home from school so Megumi and Tsumiki never guessed it. Megumi heard his dad going on missions, but he thought he went with you on some intel and retrieval mission. But after seeing Toji fight in Shibuya, he reconsiders his assumptions and believes the two of you white lied to him and Tsumiki to not get them in trouble from the Jujutsu World, especially Megumi.

Anyway, you kiss your son on his head while Toji just gives him a soft head pat. You tell him that you and Toji have to meet someone in order to discuss what to do next. Telling him to rest up as the two of you head out, leaving your son worried.

You talk with Yaga and the other sorcerers that are still there or have recovered. Meaning Mei Mei is out of the picture. There are talks about freeing Gojo and Geto, Kenjaku’s whereabouts and motives, and what to do next. Since there are not many of you to begin with, you suggest finding a way to free Gojo and Geto while trying to deal with Kenjaku.

Yaga said finding Kenjaku wouldn’t be hard since the veils are still up in Shibuya and other parts of Tokyo. They were set up for something called the Culling Games.

Kusakabe butts in and says that it’s illegal to free the two sorcerers. Also saying that You shouldn’t be saying much since your execution was announced. Toji would’ve done something if it wasn't for your mood change. The way your eyes showed a nonchalant yet tenacious aura.

“Since when did you start dick-riding the higher ups, Kusakabe? Hmm? I didn’t know you’ve become a boot-licker to the same people who aren’t batting an eye that we just lost our most powerful people. You gonna let those old geezers continue to keep the strong out just so they could stay in power until they bite the dust? *laughs* I’m not surprised it’s coming from you, Atsuya. Those old dementia patients just want to kill the strong off because they knew that either me, Gojo, Geto, or Yuta would kill them with no hesitation.” Kusakabe glares at you while baring his teeth. “Oh? Did I hit a soft spot for you, Atsuya? If you’re thinking about killing me or my husband, forget it. You don’t want to fight my husband unless you wanna die that badly. And let me remind you what happened a year ago when I mopped the floor with you even though I didn’t even activate my technique? Just drop it, Atsuya.”

With that, you told Yaga you had some unfinished business to attend to and left the room. 

Toji was so turned on by you telling off Kusakabe but you said now is not the time for a quickie.

You knew Kusakabe was a good sorcerer and ally. But after Shibuya and him seemingly siding with those losers, it somewhat pissed you off.

You have come to find out that after Yuji recovered, he went back out and Yuta attacked him. He apparently murdered Yuji for the Higher-ups. But you knew Yuta was better than to be a Higher-up boot liker. I mean, this is literally the same student that shares the same ideals as Gojo himself. Yuta wouldn’t do them any favors unless it’s to get them off his tail.

So you run into Yuta, who has a very much alive Yuji, and a healed but scarred Maki. Your assumption was right as Yuta just faked Yuji’s death so he would be labeled as dead in order for the Higher-ups to ease up a bit. 

Then Maki goes up to Toji and asks him to come with her to the Zen’in clan’s main residence. She said she needed to take more curse tools for her and the other sorcerers to use. Toji looked at her and said maybe he would help but it seems like she got it. Then Maki left to face off against the Zen’in clan.

Toji asked if he should’ve gone with her just to toss around against his shitty family. 

However, you were against it. It is cruel to say and think, you told Toji to let Maki go off on her own at first to see what happens to her and Mai. Since Twins are looked down upon in Jujutsu Society because the curse energy is split into two, it meant that both wouldn’t unlock their true potential or full technique/ability. In a way, it symbolizes that the twins hold each other back from each other’s curse technique and energy.

So if Mai dies, it means that Maki could unlock her true celestial restriction and understand what it means to possess it in its fullest form.

You also told Toji that the Zen’in clan took the “‘Chain of a Thousand Miles”, and stash it in their inventory instead of sealing it away with the Inverted Spear or the Soul Splitting Katana. So when goes after Maki, he steals back his chains. It was a couple hours since Maki left and Toji left to go get her. But first, he needed to find his old chains in the Zen’in clan’s curse tool vault.

He went in undetected and swiftly killed anyone who tried to sound the alarm of his presence. Once he got his old chains back, he strolled along to find out where Maki was. He didn’t know where to look until he saw her fighting against some of the clan members. Toji smirks, wanting to join in on the fun.

Toji starts to fight off some of the Zen’in clan members, killing them along the way. Since he needed more range, he used the chains for better crowd control and more reach. Then the Hei shows up and low and behold Naoya appears. He states that he’s the new clan head since Naobito passed away from his injuries. Naoya was boasting about going Mach 5 speed and Maki simply can’t keep up with him.

Maki and Toji exchange glances at what the hell Naoya was talking about being the Clan Head. Maki thought Megumi would be the next head, is what she was told by both Megumi and Naobito himself. 

Toji: “Yo Brat, you’re not the Head of the Zen’in Clan. My boy is, get your head out of your ass.”

Naoya thought he was up there with you, Toji, and Gojo for the strongest and powerful. More so, Toji as he sort of idolizes him heavily.

He really thought he was “I’m Him” for a good moment.

But alas, Naoya couldn’t beat the fraud allegations and got absolutely washed by Maki. With Maki’s newly awakened Celestial restriction, she was opened to a full power she only could’ve dreamed of. Now she has it for herself, a second Celestial Restriction user w/no curse energy at all.

Because Maki was the real “I’m Him” since she'll be on par with Toji himself.

Toji had this sense of pride that Maki has unlocked her true restriction, now she can absolutely body people AND curses. She can now see them and doesn't rely on her glasses anymore.

Then the two worked on killing the rest of the Zen’in clan off. When you heard that the Kamo and Gojo clan petitioned to have the Zen’in clan be removed from the three great families, you were so happy that you wanted to pop a champagne bottle.

However, you did feel bad that Maki had to lose her sister. The last of Mai’s curse energy went into making an exact replica of Soul Splitting Katana. Dragon-Bone and the replica became Maki’s only weapons. The rest of the Zen’in clan’s curse tools were either given to Jujutsu High or the other two families. You told her that nothing is stopping them and you all can rise up and fight against the system now. Pretty much everyone either hates the Higher-ups or is willing to go against them.

You were devastated hearing about Yaga’s death at the hands of the Kyoto principal. He was your dear friend, classmate, and sorcerer. It also messed you up that Maho was severely hurt and hasn’t woken from her coma. She was your best friend too, she and Yaga were in the same class together back in your earlier years.

With that, anything that happens after this point is fair game. You decided to participate in the Culling games because you needed to find the user that has the ability to free Gojo and Geto from the Prison Realm. That and find Hakari and Hoshi to see if they would strike a deal with you to help since your son was now the Head of the Zen’in Clan. Toji just goes wherever you go because, at this point, you’re his ride or die. And what better way to flex the most powerful couple in all of Jujutsu society with you, your Celestial Restriction Husband, your kind-hearted but strong-willed daughter, and your son who possesses a powerful Curse technique with limitless potential that is now the Head of the Zen’in Clan.

💙Thank you for reading!❤️

[justabigassnerd]

The Talk

Pairing - Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell x daughter!reader, Bradley Bradshaw x Mitchell!reader

Word count - 2,701

Warnings - mentions of sex, lil' splash of angst, fluff

Summary - you and Bradley near the next step in your relationship, however, you worry about it

Sequel to - 'Overprotective Aviators'

A/N - what is up y'all? I appear once more to offer y'all a fic that was a lovely anon request! I had so much fun writing this and I hope I did the idea justice! I won't ramble so as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

It had been almost one year since Bradley asked you out on a date and your relationship was still going strong. It took your dad a good week or so to actually process the fact you were dating his best friend’s son but after a long talk with Bradley which ended with Bradley ensuring he’d do his best by you and wouldn’t break your heart; your dad accepted it. Though it didn’t stop him from insisting you kept your PDA to a minimum when you were in his immediate vicinity.

The further into the relationship you got with Bradley, you started to get more intimate, lingering touches lasted longer than usual. You hadn’t had sex with Bradley, but your mind was screaming at you that you were getting clear signs you were nearing that step in your relationship. You were sure Bradley had much more relationship experience than you. He had girlfriends before he got with you, but Bradley was your first relationship. You had never been massively popular in high school so many boys didn’t look your way. Even if you did have boys throwing themselves at your feet, you were sure your dad would’ve chased them away sharpish.

Carole had quickly caught onto the changes that happened with you. She noticed how you and Bradley were more touchy than usual. How you often went off seeking privacy with him more often than not. She knew Maverick and Goose hadn’t picked up on the changes. She loved the two men dearly, but she knew there wasn’t a thought that occurred in their heads most of the time. She also knew that she should have a conversation with you, woman to woman.

One day, when Bradley was out with Maverick and Goose, working on repairs on the P-51 Mustang Maverick had found himself in possession of, Carole had headed over to your house, knocking on the door and greeting you with a smile.

“Hey, sweetie. Could we have a chat?” Carole asks as you invite her in, following you into the living room and sitting on the sofa as you nod.

“Of course. Is everything okay?” You reply, sitting down on the sofa, leaving a little gap between both you and her as your mind begins to race with worst-case scenarios.

“I just wanted to have a chat with you, woman to woman.” Carole says softly, taking one of your hands in hers and squeezing it softly. You remained silent, confused about what she was getting at.

“Now, sweetheart, I’ve noticed some changes with you and Bradley, and something is telling me you two are nearing that step where you are going to have sex for the first time.” Carole says, getting straight to the point as you feel your face get hot very suddenly.

“What? Carole, I don’t-”

“y/n, don’t bother denying it. I have eyes you know. It’s okay if you want to take that next step together.” Carole says, not letting you try and hide behind a lie. You remain silent for a moment, processing her words and thinking about your own doubts.

“I’m scared.” You admit quietly, dropping your head as Carole squeezes your hand softly, getting you to look at her.

“What are you scared of, sweetie?” Carole asks softly, her gaze never leaving you. She was all too aware that you didn’t have any kind of maternal figure in your life, so she always did her best to be a trusted woman in your life, especially since your dad had a tendency to sleep around and never get in a relationship.

“Bradley’s been in more relationships than me. He probably knows what to do and what not to do with things like that. I’m scared I’m not good enough for him.” You confess, blinking back the tears that threaten to spill past your defences as Carole coos quietly, bringing you into her arms as she rubs a hand up and down your back as she holds you tight.

“Oh y/n/n. You don’t need to worry about that. Bradley is most definitely head over heels for you. I know taking steps like this is scary, but communication is key in relationships, sweetie. Goose and I have to have conversations about things. Every couple needs communication, it’s what keeps relationships afloat. You don’t even need to have the conversation the next time you see him if it doesn’t feel right. Just make sure you do talk about it. I’m sure if you spoke to him, he’d understand. If he doesn’t then just know he’d have some hell to deal with because I did not raise him to be that way.” Carole says, pulling away and grinning when she notices the small smile creeping onto your face. You knew she was right, that relationships required communication and if you just spoke to Bradley, you were sure everything would be okay. Before you could say another word, you hear the front door unlock and Maverick announce his return with Goose and Bradley entering behind.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” Goose says the moment he sees Carole in the living room, immediately sweeping her up into his arms and pressing a delicate kiss upon her lips.

“Just wanted to keep y/n company while you men were gone.” Carole says, grinning up at her husband with loving eyes. Bradley then squeezes past his parents and sits alongside you, pulling you into a quick kiss.

“Hey, don’t push your luck, Bradshaw.” Maverick scolds as you and Bradley pull away from the kiss, smiling softly at each other.

“Dad.” You mutter, glancing over at Maverick who holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Let’s go sit in the garden, the weather’s beautiful.” Bradley says, tugging you to your feet and leading you to the back door to head out into the garden as the adults watch with soft smiles. The second the two of you are out of sight, Carole turns to Maverick.

“Mav, we need to talk. Alone.”

“Wha- don’t you want to include me in this conversation too, honey?” Goose splutters, looking between Maverick and his wife.

“Nick, honey, I love you, but this is a Maverick thing. Besides, I know he’ll tell you the second the two of you are left alone.” Carole says, looking up at her husband and patting his cheek lovingly as he pouts lightly. Carole then grabs Maverick’s wrist, tugging him into the privacy of the kitchen and turning to face him the moment she hears Goose turning on the tv to occupy himself.

“What did you need to talk about, Carole?” Maverick says, leaning back against the kitchen counter with folded arms.

“You need to speak to your daughter.” Carole says bluntly looking at Maverick who blinks in shock.

“I literally spoke to her a minute ago.” Maverick starts, confused as to where Carole was going with this conversation.

“No. Your daughter is growing up Pete. And growing up means that when she gets into a serious relationship, she’s going to take that big step when she’s ready.” Carole says, watching as Maverick’s eyes narrow in confusion before widening in realisation.

“You don’t mean…” Maverick starts, knowing where Carole was going but hoping he was wrong.

“Sex? Yes, I do mean that.” Carole says as Maverick glances out the kitchen window, seeing you and Bradley curled up together in the hammock.

“I- are you- how did you find out?” Maverick manages to force out, looking back at Carole who bites back an amused grin at Maverick being rendered almost speechless for the first time in his life.

“I spoke to her, woman to woman. I gave her a little advice, but her dad needs to give her the rest.” Carole says, watching as Maverick’s shoulders slacken.

“You’ve given her some advice, why can’t you give her the rest? I’m not a woman.” Maverick says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“Pete, I may be a woman but you’re her father. You’re the only parent she has, and she needs her dad to talk to her about this whether you like it or not. She needs you to teach her how to be safe when it comes to sex. I know it's an awkward conversation, believe me, I know. How do you think Goose fared when we gave the talk to Bradley? He couldn’t get a full sentence out, I think he stopped functioning altogether. I know it’s tough when you realise your kid is growing up, but they still need our love and support regardless of their growing independence. Just talk to her Mav.” Carole says, resting a hand on Maverick’s upper arm as she gives him a soft smile. Maverick sighs lightly, but nods his head regardless, looking down at the tiled kitchen floor.

“I’ll talk to her.” Maverick says as he shifts his gaze to look back up at Carole who pats his arm.

“Good. Now, let’s get back to Goose, he might go insane if he’s alone any longer.” Carole laughs lightly, turning around and opening the kitchen door and heading into the living room while Maverick remains rooted in place for a moment, thinking over how to approach the conversation with you, re-joining Carole, and Goose once he had collected his thoughts.

That evening, after the Bradshaw’s had headed home for the night, Maverick was sitting alongside you on the sofa as you watched the tv. Carole’s words echoed around Maverick’s head as he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. Without warning, Maverick grabbed the remote and muted the tv, ignoring your protests.

“y/n, we need to talk.” Maverick starts, and you immediately have a feeling that you know where this is going.

“Did you speak to Carole?” You ask, fiddling with your fingers as you look down at your hands.

“I’d say she cornered me into the kitchen and spoke to me. But yes, we spoke.” Maverick says after letting out a weak chuckle.

“Dad, I-”

“Squirt, you’re going to need to let me talk, okay?” Maverick politely interrupts, shuffling around to face you properly.

“Carole told me that you reckon that you and Bradley are nearing that next step in your relationship. I need to make sure you know how to be safe when you do make that step. You need to know you have the right to say no if you don’t want to have sex. Don’t let yourself feel pressured into saying yes if you don’t want to. As long as you’re safe and know you have the right to say ‘no’, you’ll be fine. I just want you to be safe.” Maverick says, making you look up at him before he offers you a soft smile before he reaches out, wraps an arm around your shoulders and tugs you into his side.

“Bradley won’t force me to do anything, will he?” You ask, looking up at your dad who softens.

“No, sweetheart. As much as I like to pretend that he annoys me because he’s dating you, I know he’s so in love with you and Goose and Carole raised him to be nothing but respectful. It’s just important that you know that you can say no if you don’t want to have sex.” Maverick assures, rubbing a hand up and down your back before pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you nod against his side.

“I really love Bradley. I’m scared I’m not good enough for him because I don’t have as much relationship experience as him.” You admit quietly, curling further into your dad’s arms like you were little again.

“Oh, y/n/n. Like I said, Bradley is hopelessly in love with you. He’s as in love with you as Goose is in love with Carole. You have nothing to worry about.” Maverick reassures, squeezing you lightly.

“Carole said a similar thing.” You say as you laugh lightly to yourself as you remember Carole’s words from earlier. Maverick didn’t reply, opting to stay silent and relish the feeling of you curled in his arms. He knew you were growing more independent by the day, and that you would reach a point where you wouldn’t want to find solace in your father’s arms anymore, so he relished any moment he got with you.

“I love you, dad.” You mumble, smiling to yourself when you feel your dad press another kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you too, y/n.” Maverick whispers as you return your attention to the muted television, planning on how to approach Bradley with the conversation.

The time for you to speak to Bradley came a couple of days later, Maverick and Goose were at Top Gun, teaching, and Carole was out visiting some friends, so you had gone around to Bradley’s house. The two of you were upstairs in his room and sat on his bed as you kissed each other passionately. As you pulled away, resting your foreheads against each other, Bradley’s hand brushed against your thigh as he moved to set it on your hip. You tensed up at the contact and Bradley noticed, immediately pulling away and looking at you worriedly.

“Are you okay?” Bradley asked, his eyes searching yours as you silently scold yourself for flinching at Bradley’s touch. You’d never flinched at his touch before, but you knew why you had done so. It was time to have the conversation you were most fearing.

“Bradley, I feel like we’re getting close to that step in our relationship where we… you know… have sex and I’m going to be honest; I’m terrified I’m not going to be good enough for you. You’ve been in relationships before, and I don’t know how well I measure up to old girlfriends you had.” You ramble, opening your mouth to speak more but being stopped by Bradley gently resting a finger on your lips to silence you.

“Honey, let me talk for a moment, okay? It’s okay if you don’t have much relationship experience, we all start somewhere. I don’t know everything about relationships. I love you, and there’s no rush about anything. We don’t have to have sex or anything unless we’re both ready. There’s no rush for anything. Yes, we’re getting a bit more intimate but that doesn’t mean we have to be leaping into anything if we’re not ready. We can take it slow, that’s more than okay.” Bradley says, his gentle smile never leaving his face as he speaks, his finger moving from your lip so he can cup your face gently, his smile widening as you leaned into his touch.

“I love you too Bradley. Sorry for blurting all that out, I’ve just been panicking for a couple of days.” You apologise, attempting to bury your face in his palm. Bradley carefully removes his hand so he can see you properly.

“There’s my beautiful girl. It’s okay. I’m glad we talked about this. My parents always tell me that communication is important. I also want to be sure you know you can always come to me to talk if you need to.” Bradley says softly, leaning in and pressing his forehead to yours as a smile breaks out across your face.

“And you can always talk to me if you need.” You say, quickly leaning closer to press a quick kiss to Bradley’s lips. Just as you pull away, Bradley grabs your waist and pulls you back in, kissing you again as you bite back a giggle at your boyfriend’s sudden movement.

“Is this okay?” Bradley asks as he pulls away, his eyes flicking down to his hands before looking back up at you.

“More than okay.” You confirm, kissing him once more until the need for air becomes too much.

“As much as I’d love to keep kissing you. I had a date idea. There’s that new mini-golf place that has just opened along the beach. I was thinking we could go there and test it out, a bit of fun and competition.” Bradley says after pulling away and a cheeky smile crosses his face.

“I hope you’re ready to lose Bradshaw.” You say, a smirk covering your face.

“In your dreams, Mitchell.”

[headfullof-ideas]

A second ‘Httyd/the deep rivalries’ post, as a sequel to the post i did of all the rivalries that will appear in my fic of characters from httyd and The Deep that wouldn’t interact otherwise (Ala Snotlout/Alpheus, Kaiko/Viggo, Astrid/Fontaine, etc.). Only this one’s a little different, as only one of these counts as an actual rivalry, while the other two are a little more ‘these are dynamics that are going to be REALLY fun to write’. Anywaaayyys

Ingrid and Astrid are more of a one-sided rivalry. Ingrid is one of the older girls in the village, about nineteen years old. She was top of her Dragon Training class, being the student who participated in the final test, and she had one of the fastest records to date. Ingrid is popular, if not always well-liked, and she’s really good at fighting and dragon-killing. Astrid doesn’t care about how popular Ingrid is, or about how pretty she is and how many boys faun after her, but another thing about Ingrid is that she is REALLY good at getting under someone else’s skin. And Ingrid REALLY likes getting under Astrid’s skin. Astrid prides herself on her resolve to be the best warrior she can be for her tribe, and her skill as a warrior, and Ingrid loves to make all of Astrid’s feats out as something unimpressive or subpar. She loves to suggest ways Astrid can improve in a way that makes it clear she’s saying Astrid isn’t near as good as she thinks she is, she loves to show off by doing whatever move Astrid is practicing and doing it better and acting nonchalant about it, and she ESPECIALLY loves to comment on Astrid’s skill with her ax. Obviously, this is something that drives Astrid nuts. Ingrid is hard to get back at though, so Astrid is just stuck seething and working as hard as she can to prove she’s better than Ingrid, who time and time again just brushes off Astrid’s efforts like they’re nothing more than childish feats

Fontaine and the older Riders is going to be a really fun dynamic for me to explore writing, mostly because of when they all finally meet up. I don’t want to say too much, because i want to leave it to the story, but what I will say is that it’s not really a rivalry like the others. On Fontaine’s side of it, she’s found out that her dead baby brother that she didn’t even know she had until a few years prior isn’t actually dead, and not only is he not dead, but he’s surrounded himself with his own little makeshift family in the absence of his biological family. And that family is largely composed of a lot of kids all her own age. This produces a lot of feelings such as jealousy, frustration, and self-doubt. The older Riders don’t know what to think of Fontaine at first, the idea of meeting Ant’s biological family a notion that they knew could possibly happen. But the actual presence of Ant’s older, biological sister, interacting with them and trying to get to know Ant, is one that’s making them realize that Ant’s biological family may want him back. And by this point in time, the Riders have long since settled on Dragon’s Edge. Most of this is coming from Fontaine, but both sides have a lot of complicated feelings to work through that I for one cannot WAIT to get to writing.

Mala and Eret is the least rivalry-esque of this batch, but it’s a dynamic that has been fun to figure out and write in segments as the characters watch the movie. Mala is the Queen of the Defenders of the Wing, a tribe dedicated to protecting dragons. Eret is the son of a dragon trapper who is the son of yet another dragon trapper, who have both had run-ins and minor dealings with Viggo Grimborn, who has been personally attacking Mala’s Caldera to try and get to the plethora of dragons they keep there beyond their Eruptodon. Naturally, there’s a little bit of contention between these two at the start, mostly from Mala who’s having a hard time grasping the idea that not all dragon trappers were in the business because they wanted to, and that some of them might want to get out. Eret is trying really hard to get Mala to at the very least tolerate his presence, especially when he is introduced to the young queen through the Dragon Riders. There’s gonna be a lot of fun bickering between these two, who are relatively around the same age, and trying to keep the peace in the presence of the young, impressionable riders.

Dagur and Eret are also going to be fun, because Dagur being Dagur is like ‘oh who’s this? Who’s this big brother shaped person with a dragon as well?? WHO’S THIS-‘ and Eret’s just trying to get along with the kids other friend. It’s like when you have two different friends from two different friend groups, and are trying to introduce them to each other. The Riders are in for a lot of PR control between the various groups they pick up as friends along the way as the story progresses

[crownedinkcomix]

Joker 2 is not about its fandom. At least not on purpose.

I agree with many of the criticisms leveled at Joker 2, and I almost didn’t bother writing this review since much of what I have to say echoes the general consensus. However, there’s one particular critique I’ve seen that I strongly disagree with: the idea that Joker 2 is a repudiation of the audience that connected with the first movie.

Many have argued that the sequel turns against those who found resonance in Arthur Fleck’s transformation into the Joker, especially as the character became a symbol in real-world political protests, much like the Guy Fawkes mask from V for Vendetta was co-opted by Anonymous. But I believe this interpretation misses a key point that aligns with the themes of the original film.

The film becomes more engaging towards the end, particularly when Arthur’s followers reject him once he rejects the Joker persona. Some argue that this mirrors the way audiences connected with the first movie, using the Joker persona as a symbol during protests. However, this rejection of Arthur is consistent with the character’s portrayal in Joker (2019). Society didn’t care about Arthur as a person—an isolated, mentally ill individual—until he accidentally became a figurehead for a movement he never believed in. His followers, like society, only care about the Joker as a symbol, something they can project their own ideas onto.

While I don’t think Joker 2 is a strong film overall—it’s messy, and at best deserves a 2/5 rating—I do think it captures this idea well. It continues the theme that society values icons and symbols over real, complex individuals, much as the first film did.

Unfortunately, the first two-thirds of the film are a slog. The musical numbers, for example, add nothing of substance and slow the film to a crawl. I typically enjoy musicals, but Joaquin Phoenix is a poor singer, and the songs don’t advance the plot like they should in a good musical. Instead, they feel like pointless interludes. In the best musicals, songs are integral to storytelling, not interruptions.

The connections to Batman mythology, which were subtle but effective in the first Joker, feel more forced and distracting in this film. In Joker (2019), Gotham felt like Gotham, and there were enough subtle nods to Batman’s lore to justify the film's title. Here, however, it feels as though someone simply took an original screenplay and used a Find and Replace tool to rename elements: Arkham Asylum, Harvey Dent—they feel shoehorned in. Especially jarring is the fact that we're supposed to believe a character's Christian name is Harley Quinn (harlequin, get it?) in what is meant to be a world that is so grounded, I can't buy Bruce Wayne ever even grows up to be Batman in this continuity.

In the first film, even though Arthur Fleck’s story was largely inspired by Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, it still included some elements from The Killing Joke and The Dark Knight Returns, giving it a legitimate connection to the Batman universe. The riot at the end, leading to the deaths of Thomas and Martha Wayne, was a clever tie-in to Batman’s origin, even if it required some suspension of disbelief regarding the age difference between Bruce Wayne and this version of the Joker.

Joker 2 is ultimately a confused film that doesn’t know what it wants to say for much of its runtime. While it offers some interesting thematic continuity regarding society’s elevation of fictional personas over real people, it’s bogged down by poor pacing, weak musical numbers, and forced connections to Batman lore. While I’m glad I saw it for the final third, which genuinely resonated with me, I can’t recommend it to a general audience.

[trendywaifus]

could i get a sequel to the fic of ningguang comforting anxious reader with yoimiya, kokomi and lynette if ur comfortable with writing her? :3c i'm happy to see that you're back and writing!! <3

woah lumi, you’re my first customer?? omg?? i haven’t seen you in a fat minute! it’s nice to see YOU back!! i missed you’re writing 😻

— despite yoimiya being a bubbly girl, she’s attentive to those around her! especially you cus you’re her baby. she absolutely hates seeing you uncomfortable and anxious so she tries various ways to calm you down. unfortunately, some of her idea/plans backfires which at times, made your anxiety worsen but she learns. she’s really loud? okay, she’ll lower her voice down for you. she’s moving too fast? alr, she’s matching your pace, no biggie! you don’t like to be touched while you’re anxious? that’s fine, she’ll stay by your side and encourage you with her colorful words!

— if you dislike loud noises like fireworks, yoimiya’s completely fine with that. she’ll only work on them when you’re not around. when she’s with you, yoimiya plays with sparklers! yoimiya’s contagious laughter and smiles makes you brim with happiness. if you’re comfortable enough, you’d join in on the fun.

— yoimiya likes to take you to her fav spot where she watch the fireworks at to chill! if you want, she’ll love to hear you vent or ramble about anything you want. it’s great to have a buddy who’s a great listener. while yoimiya listens, her eyes are never off you, she’s locked in with whatever you gotta say.

when you finished speaking, yoimiya smiles brightly. she points at your hands, “ babe, give me your hand.“ confused by her request, you placed your hand out in front of her. she takes it within her own, and guides it to her chest. even though you felt her resting heartbeat against your palm, the placement of your hand was practically an inch above her bandage–covered breast. you stammer, “ yoimiya, wh-what’s the meaning of this? m-my hand—“

“ i know, ignore that! but the point i’m trying to get at here is even though my heartbeat is relaxed right now, I still have sooo many things going through my mind! and despite all of that, the reason why my heart is relaxed now is because. . “ her crinkling golden brown eyes twinkles with unadulterated sincerity. “ of you! having a precious someone or friend by your side can often shoo the bad anxiety away. it might not always be the best remedy but it’s better than dealing with it alone! remember that if you need someone to go to, i as your girlfriend, volunteer as tribute! “

— as someone who leads a whole army and is looked up to by an island of people, kokomi understands your anxiety. for her to really cope with anxiety, she likes to take naps, read books, or plan extra battle strategies. since she has you now, she prefers to rest her head on your lap and relax.

— kokomi keeps a very keen eye on you. if she sees any signs of you becoming anxious, she’s at your side rubbing on your back. if she can’t come to your aid, she sends gorou! he’s not very good at comforting people so the little guy insists on you touching his ears and tail for therapeutic comfort. he’s only doing this for you, don’t tell anybody about it.

— naps are a musssst! when she’s stressed AND you’re stressed, she’s gonna take you to her office to nap. it’s y’all free time anyways, gotta recharge your battery. in my previous cuddle hc involving kokomi, she uses her hydro powers to make little fishies to lull you. why not sea horses or a fav sea animal of your choice instead this time??

“ you should be a magician. “ you mumbled, reaching your hand out to touch one of the hydro sea animals. one of them floats above your palm and twirls around happily as if was doing a little dance. kokomi giggles, running her fingers through your hair. “ mm, i already got my hands quite full. besides, magicians require a certain level of skill, charisma, and stage presence that i unfortunately don’t have. “

“ seriously? you do have the charisma. you have a way with words and your voice is soft to the ears. you’re able to create almost anything with hydro manipulation and that’s an advanced skill a lot of vision bearers don’t have. stage presence? pfft, your presence alone on the field changes the tide of the battle. you’re amazing. i’m so lucky to have you. “

cheeks red, she shakes her head with a tender smile. “ i very much appreciate your sentiments. however, i’m the one who’s lucky to have you, my dear. i find solace in your company, the fact that you also struggle with anxiety daily makes me feel like i’m not alone in this. as we go through our daily obstacles, at least at the end, me and you can share our experiences and give each other tips on how to cope with anxiety.“

— lynette is such a cutie pie. much like kokomi, she knows the horrors of having anxiety! she has ways of coping like pretending to be a robot/puppet to avoid people from socializing with her (maybe i should do that). when it comes to you, she would rather help you find healthier ways to deal with it.

— one of the things she likes to do is to show you magic tricks! the good ol’ fashion card tricks, the disappearing and reappearing of objects! anything to make you smile and laugh. her cute little tadaa~ alone brightens up your mood. (:

— i believe that lynette loves to eat, esp deserts. i see her taking you to a cozy small café and she’s treating you to her fav treats she likes to eat. she knows that she might get an earful from her brother for eating too much before dinner, but since she’s chilling with you, eh.

“ these treats are delicious but. .isn’t that your fourth desert? “ you asked, voice filled with amusement. lynette sets the fork down on the empty plate. “ it is. i guess i let myself get carried away there. “ she shrugs, her resting deadpan expression sitting on her face. you found it comical that she’s a glutton and an introvert. what a cute mix! you giggled before bursting into laughter. although you sound wonderful and the butterflies fluttering in her stomach agrees as well, lynette tilts her head in confusion.

“ what’s so funny? “

“ nothing, you’re just too cute lynette. thank you for making my day like always. i feel better.“ you grinned, taking another bite of your desert. you failed to notice the small blush tainting her pale cheeks.

“ tadaa. .” she mumbles bashfully in success of making you smile and laugh today.

[cy-cyborg]

Writing Disability: Let us Love like everyone else

[ID: An illustrated picture of a red rose on a pink background. To the left of the rose is white text that reads "Writing Disability: Let us Love like everyone else. /End ID]

Romance is one of the top-selling genres in the world across mediums, and pretty much every movie, TV show, book and game has at least one romance sub-plot. You don’t need to look far to find it. However, when it comes to disabled characters, a lot of creators shy away from giving us romantic plot lines or even hesitate to address the topic of disability and attraction being present in the same character at all. So, since it’s Valentine’s day, I thought now would be the perfect time to discuss it.

It can be easy to miss if you aren't paying attention, but a surprising number of stories in various mediums will pair up most if not all of their main cast of characters by the end of the plot… with the exception of the disabled characters. whether they be explicitly stated to be disabled or just coded as such, disabled characters are more frequently left out of relationships by the story's end. Sometimes, the disabled character will be completely disinterested or the subject is just never addressed, such as with Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender. Toph is implied to have had multiple relationships by the time of the sequel series, but unlike the rest of the original gang, we never see it on screen, so I personally think it doesn't count for reasons I'll get into in a moment. Alternatively, the disabled character will show interest in someone, but their affection is just not reciprocated, such as in Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame. Disney's Hunchback is a particularly noteworthy example since it's one of the only theatrical Disney movies where the main character has a clearly stated love interest, but doesn't end up with them by the end.

ID: an screenshot of the hunchback of notre dame showing Quasiemodo, a man with a hunchback and facial differences swinging and singing on at spire at the top of the notre dame cathedral. /End ID

In the latter case, where the disabled character’s love is not reciprocated, these stories will often focus on the importance of self-discovery and self-love. An important message to be sure, but the fact that these “you don’t need a partner as long as you love yourself” stories very often centre disabled characters is frustrating, to say the least (If the character isn’t disabled, they’re often deemed “undesirable" for other reasons, such as being fat, but that’s a topic for another day).

Of course, the reason the character doesn’t end up with their love interest doesn't have to be because of their disability specifically. Even if they were turned down for other reasons, it can still contribute to the stereotype that disabled people can’t find love even when they want to, just aren’t desirable as partners (a sentiment that is especially commonly directed at visibly disabled people) and contributes to the overall lack of representation of disabled relationships.

In the other case I mentioned before, where a disabled character is just not interested in romance, can look different depending on the kind of disability the character has, but in my experience, it often comes from the same place: discomfort. This isn't necessarily a conscious thought or decision on the creator’s end, mind you, but just because it's not intentional, doesn't mean it's not doing harm, even if it’s subconsciously.

A lot of the time, many creators don't even consider giving their disabled characters a love interest. the thought never even occurs to them. I can't pretend to know why for sure, but if I had to take a guess, its because the idea of disability and romance just don't go together in most people's eyes, so the thought never even crosses these creator's minds. But why? it comes back to that discomfort.

When we are talking about physical disabilities and those effecting the body but not the brain, the discomfort can come from a few places. First is the discomfort with disabled and visibly different bodies and how they work as a whole. I've spoken about this in the past, but just the idea of disability alone often makes non-disabled people deeply uncomfortable, and when it comes to visible disabilities, they are often forced to confront that, something that a lot of people are resistant to. they don't like thinking about it, and while many non-disabled creators have dealt with this discomfort enough to include us in their stories, they haven't deconstructed it enough to include us having things like romantic relationships.

This is why, despite the fact that Toph has children in The Legend of Korra, I’m still using her as an example. We see the other main character’s relationships and partners in the original show and in The Legend of Korra directly, but never hers. The most we ever hear of Toph’s love life is that Sue and Lin, her daughters, have different fathers. While the mention was good, when looking at this through the lens of “people are uncomfortable with disabled people being in relationships” you can see how the openly disabled character’s relationships only ever happening off screen and occasionally mentioned might still be an issue, even if that wasn’t the creator’s intent.

ID: A screenshot of the legend of Korra showing Toph, a middle-aged woman with black hair and metal armour, lecturing her two daughters. /End ID

this disparity becomes particularly noticeable, however, in media aimed at an older audience where romantic relationships often mean sex. When the relationship is expected to be sexual in nature, an extra layer of discomfort often appears. A lot of people just quite simply don't understand how sex works when you have a physical disability, and are extremely uncomfortable simply looking it up (there are educational resources out there on the subject, and even disability content creators who focus on educating people about sex and disability, I’m not talking about looking up porn). Often times, they just avoid it by simply not giving their disabled characters relationships of any kind to avoid having to address those questions.

There is also the fact that many people infantilise those with disabilities and associate us with children. This is more common when it comes to non-physical disabilities, such as those under the neurodivergent umbrella (which refers to any disability that primarily impacts the brain) and I'll talk about that in a moment, but it does happen with physical disabilities too, most notably with little people and disabilities that impact someone’s height or physical development. Often, for those of us with physical disabilities, the infantilization comes from people either directly associating us with children because of our appearance, or feeling as though we need to be protected like children.

When talking about disabled people in relationships, this might look like someone being hesitant to pair a disabled character up with someone without a disability because they “can’t protect themselves” if the relationship goes bad. This isn’t something I’ve seen stated directly much in media, mind you, but it is a response I’ve gotten from a surprising number of people in real life when I’ve asked why they don’t like the idea of “people like me” (meaning amputees and wheelchair users) dating. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the reason some authors and creatives avoid inter-abled relationships in their works based on how often I got that comment when I started dating; they are concerned about the power imbalance. but this mindset is based on both infantilization and the stereotype that physically disabled people are always inherently weaker. If you’re not always worried about how non-disabled characters would protect themselves in a relationship, why are you only worried it when one of the characters is disabled?

However, like I mentioned before, the disabled character being simply uninterested in romance or sex isn't unique to visibly and physically disabled people. It’s is so common with neurodivergent folks, in fact that it’s become a bunch of tropes all of their own, with the most common variant being where specifically autistic or autistic-coded characters will often be the only aromatic or asexual people in a story’s cast.

For those unfamiliar with the terms, aromatic people are those who experience little to no romantic attraction, or those who experience it differently to most, while asexual people are those who experience little to no sexual attraction (or, again, experience it differently to most). It’s a bit more complex than that, and both terms exist on a spectrum, but in order not to get too side-tracked, I’ll leave it there. I‘d highly, highly recommend Jaiden Animation’s video on the subject though if you want to learn more in a beginner-friendly way.

There’s this idea that a lot of non-disabled people get about neurodivergent folks, especially those with developmental or intellectual disabilities, that we are these sweet little innocent beans who don’t want to or simply can’t engage with “adult” things. In most cases though, this isn’t the true. For some folks, including many creators, this is once again an unconscious bias and is the result of them simply not thinking about or deconstructing their ideas around different kinds of disabilities. In these cases, the idea usually stems from the fact that there are some (keyword some) disabilities under this category that do impact someone’s ability to engage with things like sex and romantic relationships, and most people not overly familiar with the disability community just don’t know enough to understand that just because some people under this category can’t or don’t want to engage, doesn’t mean we all can’t.

Unfortunately though, when this is pointed out to a lot of people, instead of adjusting their viewpoint or seeking more information, they get severally uncomfortable about the idea, even going so far as calling someone who is dating someone with a developmental or intellectual disability as “creepy” because they, once again, associate people with these kinds of disabilities with children. Since children can’t consent, neither can we. This is, once again, infantilization, but much more directly.

While I haven’t seen the full episode (or much of the show as a whole), so I don’t really want to comment on weather it handled the subject well, I do at least appreciate that the show Glee calls this line of thinking out when one of the characters, Becky, who has down’s syndrome, begins dating someone without a disability. The parts of the episode I have seen shows several characters around Becky expressing concern, but their bias is called out by the end of the episode. What I have seen of Glee was during a particularly long stay in hospital while being given pretty strong medication so my memory of it is spotty (not to mention everything was out of order) so like I said, I can’t comment on weather or not it was good per say, but I do remember the discussion this episode sparked in my high school with students and teachers alike, and I remember it being the starting point for some important conversations with people.

As I said, there are some disabilities under the neurodivergent umbrella that might prevent a character from engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship. some. however, it's incredibly important to remember that a lot of these kinds of disabilities exist on a spectrum of support needs, and if the character in question's disability would be preventing them from doing so, they would typically be on the very severe ends of those spectrums and have very substantial support needs in other areas of life too. The vast majority of neurodivergent characters in media don't fall into this category. If you are writing someone who has these higher support needs (and please do, we need more characters like that!), be sure to do your research and double check your assumptions about their capability to engage though. Ensure it's actually reflective of their disability and isn't just based on stereotypes and misinformation. And don't forget, if you’re ever unsure, you can always check with a sensitivity reader or disability consultant.

Even in cases where a disabled character does get into a relationship, one of a few things frequently happen that I think authors might want to be mindful to avoid - or at least approach with caution.

The first is that the disabled character, despite being in a relationship, will be completely disinterested in sex (or any part of a physical relationship, such as kissing, if the content is aimed at a younger audience), often being implied or directly stated to be asexual. The first example of this that springs to mind for me is Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. While Sheldon is never confirmed as autistic within the show, he displays many autistic traits throughout both the original show (albeit in a stereotypical way that’s played mostly for laughs) and in the spin-off, Young Sheldon. When Sheldon does eventually get into a relationship though and even gets married, he is shown to be very, very reluctant and overall disinterested in sex.

ID: A screenshot from Big Bang Theory of Amy and Sheldon sitting on a couch, where Amy looks annoyed towards someone off camera, while sheldon looks at her, confused. /End ID

So what’s the problem with this? in a vacuum, nothing. Some people don’t care for sex and don’t experience sexual attraction, and it’s fine to show that - we need more ace representation! I myself am disabled (an amputee and autistic) and asexual, shouldn’t I be glad to see characters like me?

Well, the issue isn’t that this is unrealistic, but rather overplayed and often contains a lot of misinformation about both asexual people and disabled folks.

My disabilities have nothing to do with my asexuality - which remember just means someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction; it has nothing to do with weather or not someone enjoys sex. However whenever asexuality and disability are paired together in the same character, it’s almost always because of the character’s disability. As in, the person in the wheelchair is ace because they can’t feel anything down there so they stopped feeling attracted to people (which is not even close to how that works, but is a real example I’ve seen on a few occasions now) or the autistic person is just too invested in telling you about trains, science, superhero’s or whatever their special interest is, to be worried about sex.

The other issue is, like I said, there’s a lot of examples of disabled ace characters already, and considering how poorly most are handled, many disabled people and asexual people alike are just tired of seeing it. Honestly, until both disability and ace representation and understanding as a whole, improve independently, it’s a combination of identities I’d recommend avoiding in your work, at least for now.

Finally, when a disabled character does enter a relationship, sexual or not, a very common dynamic is that the character will often get very insecure and scared that the person they’re dating doesn’t actually like them, or worries that the other person is settling for them, often resulting in their partner reassuring them that they love them, "despite their disability." A recent example of this can be seen in the web series Helluva boss between the character Fizzarolli, an imp who is a quadrilateral amputee with broken horns and facial scarring, and his boyfriend Asmodeus. While Fizzarolli’s insecurities are primarily focused on living up to impossible standards for success, he shouts during a panic attack that he believes that Asmodeus will leave him if he isn't successful, stating that without it, "this is who I am" - ripping off his hat to show his broken horns and scars (something we are told that he acquired in the same accident he lost his limbs in).

ID: A screenshot of Helluva Boss showing Fizzarolli, a cartoon imp in a clown outfit, patchy makeup and broken horns, anxiously holding his jester's cap in his hands. Behind him, Asmodeus, a large blue, feathery demon in a striped suit, looks on, concerned. /End ID

My problem with scenarios like these is once again, not that it’s unrealistic, but that it shows up constantly. The intention with these kinds of scenes is often to assure the character and by extension, disabled readers or viewers, that they are in fact deserving of love. That just because they’re disabled, doesn’t mean they’ll never find anyone. Once again, it's a good message, however, because of how prevalent this exact scene is, it can actually have the opposite effect.

Let’s step back from disability for a moment: If you see dozens and dozens of people with a feature you have, saying they are insecure about that same feature in almost all of of the shows you watch, the books you read, the games you play where characters with this feature appear, even if you aren’t insecure about it yourself, seeing over and over again that others are, it’s natural that it would start to make you doubt or wonder if you should be. Doubly so if that very insecurity prompts these big, often explosive and emotional scenes.

This was the case for me as a kid, I never really cared much about my disability outside of being annoyed that people stared at me, but as I got older, and I saw more and more characters in the media I consumed saying they were certain no one could love someone like them - someone like me - I became more and more worried. The messages that were supposed to be reassurances, instead told me over and over that the people these characters ”found” were the exception, not the rule, and that most people would, in fact, care that I was disabled and not want to date me. When all my friends began dating and getting into relationships, I began to worry that I would never find “my exception to the rule” and be alone forever.

I didn’t really get over that mindset until well into my 20’s, well into my current relationship with my now fiancé, and I know I wasn’t alone in these concerns. I used to work with teenage amputees, and this was a very, very common fear across all genders and sexualities. I still see it in forums and social media groups whenever newly disabled people join, it’s one of the more common fears brought up, and while I get that scenes like these are meant to reflect this reality and help, more often than not, they’re doing the opposite.

For once, I would love to see a disabled character get into a relationship, and for there not to be any mention of “are you sure?” “How could you ever love someone like me?” “I’m worried you don’t actually find me attractive” etc. These conversations are realistic, yes, but we see them so often that I just really wish I could see more examples of stories where the validity of the disabled character’s relationship is never questioned and is never a concern. It just is.

Of course, as with most of the subjects I’ve talked about before, many of these points are less of a concern if you have multiple disabled characters. If you only have one disabled character and have their love interest reject them, it can perpetuate these stereotypes about disabled people being unable to find love, but if you have another character who is successful in that reguard? Well, it’s much less of a concern. The same goes for if one of your disabled characters is asexual or aromantic, but there’s another disabled character who isn’t, or if one disabled character is insecure about their disability in their relationship, but another isn’t.

Of course, be mindful not to go too far in the other direction either. A lot of people are pretty shocked to learn that disability fetishization is also a thing, and while you shouldn’t shy away from showing disabled characters in sexual relationships just because they’re disabled, it is something you need to be mindful of if your story contains more explicit content. As a general rule of thumb, sowing your disabled characters engaging in the same kinds of relationships, romantic and sexual (including casual hook-ups and one-night-stands) is great, so long as it a) fits the character and the story, and b) is actually inline with how you’re treating those topics with the non-disabled characters.

Personally, I don’t really feel like I’m the best person to advise on where exactly that line between just showing disabled people in sexual relationships/situations and fetishisation is, though the general advice I’ve heard is to ask yourself if the focus is on the disability, or if the person just happens to be disabled. On that same note, I’m also not really comfortable explaining details of how sex works when you’re disabled. If you want to know about either of these topics, there are a plethora of disability content creators who focus specifically on those subjects.

To sum this all up though, disabled adults are, well, adults, so don’t be afraid to treat us as such. Show us in relationships where the non-disabled partner’s affection isn’t a matter of debate or insecurity, show us being intimate and having sex (if that’s something you were doing with your non-disabled characters), let us be confident in those relationships, the same as everyone else, and most importantly, remember that a disability doesn’t automatically mean someone just won’t be interested in us, or we won’t be interested in them.

[lovebirdgames]

Hi everyone!

Here comes the long post that I alluded to recently: What's Next for Lovebird Game Studios. Buckle in!

You all know that I like to be very transparent when it comes to our game development. Sharing the journey with all of you has always helped me keep taking steps. So I’d like to share the decision we came to regarding which game to work on next, and I’d like to explain the thinking behind it as well. It may not be the news you were hoping to hear, but I hope you will also leave here with a sense of excitement and anticipation for what’s to come.

At this time, we have decided to not move forward with a sequel/fandisk of Band Camp Boyfriend.

This is a decision that does not come easy, especially since I know a lot of you were hoping for an Aaron route. We had a lot of fun ideas for the sequel we were excited for and it’s a bit of a heartbreaker to think they won’t come to fruition. I also adore our cast of characters and loved writing them, and will miss doing so. There are many different factors at play that went into making this decision.

Time. The reality is we both work full-time jobs and we have to choose our battles when it comes to this hobby. While the fandisk would be about half the size of the base game, we feel it would still take around approximately 3 years to release (I’d like to say 2, but let's face it: we are slow at game development). 

Money. We are incredibly grateful and proud to say that we made back the money we spent making Band Camp Boyfriend. We consider BCB a modest success. However, we don’t feel that the current player base is large enough to justify a sequel, especially since sequels do not typically perform as well as the base game. We have a feeling we would dig ourselves right back into the financial hole and not make it out the second time around.

Art. Particularly the backgrounds. Keep in mind that we commission the art for our games. Most otome games are easily able to pull off a fandisk because they have all of their assets from the base game. Since Band Camp Boyfriend took place in a bottle setting that the characters have now left behind, we would need a ton of new backgrounds for the school setting we had imagined for the sequel. Our background artist is no longer available, so we would have to shop around for someone with a similar style and buy a whole new host of backgrounds. And of course we would need new CGs, new outfits, new everything to really make it exciting.

Inspiration. During our “break,” the creative juices began to flow and we found ourselves gravitating to our next idea. I told myself I wouldn’t write or work on anything until making this choice, but I couldn’t stop myself. And I found myself writing the prologue for our next game and drawing concept art of the characters. Even while listening to music, the music videos that would play in my head shifted away from Band Camp Boyfriend and towards the next game. I guess after 8 years, deep down, I am ready to move onto a new story with new faces. My love for Band Camp Boyfriend runs deeper than the Marian’s Trench, but my heart is leading me into uncharted waters full of hammerhead sharks!

I’m happy to answer questions if you have them. Here are a couple that might be on your mind.

Q: Can’t you just make an Aaron DLC that takes place at band camp? Please, I will give you my left kidney!

A: I want you to keep your kidney, and I’m sorry, but the answer is no. I feel we have conquered band camp and there is no need to return to it. (We actually cut a route--the Leon route--and merged most of the ideas for it into the final route, because it was getting to be too much!) I’m totally burnt out on new ideas in that setting, plus it was wrapped up so wonderfully in that final route. I have no interest in doing another story there.

Another point - even though it would be easier in terms of art assets, we wouldn’t want to phone it in and do an Aaron Band Camp route, in case we were to change our minds about doing a sequel down the road. We would want to do his route as we envisioned it, so it’s best to keep that avenue open.

Q: Can you make a smaller game or just write new scenarios with what you have?

A: As we have learned about ourselves…we are not capable of making small games. Our ideas just keep getting bigger and bigger. We want to release substantial games with hours of playtime. So I guess the answer is no.

Q: If money is an issue, can you run a Kickstarter for the sequel so I can throw money at you?

A: We are probably not ever going to do another Kickstarter. It was a lot of work. It felt really bad when our first one failed and our motivation took a hit. However, I am glad it failed because we wound up releasing 3 years later than we had hoped for, but we didn’t have any pressure weighing on us from Kickstarter. We’ve seen a lot of successfully funded games get abandoned or delayed, and a lot of unhappy fans voice their displeasure and sour on a game completely. You never know what curveballs life will throw at you and these projects can easily face delays. We would hate to let you all down like that. We agree we would rather work at our own pace without that immense pressure. Also, I am kinda old fashioned when it comes to the trading of goods…you give money, me give you game! Unga bunga.

Q: So…that’s it? We’re never getting a sequel?

A: Ehh…all of this aside, never say never. If Band Camp Boyfriend unexpectedly blew up in popularity and had a mind-blowing amount of sales, then I would absolutely reconsider a return to Blue Mountain High School. But I don't really see that happening.

I really hope this news hasn’t made you too sad and I hope you’ll join us for the next game! Saying I am extremely excited for it is an understatement. I’d like to share a little bit of what we have planned and I hope it will get you excited as well, and you won’t leave here feeling too down.

If you loved Band Camp Boyfriend, you will certainly love our next otome game. It will carry the same elements of humor, romance, darkness, and drama you can expect from us—and this time, the stakes are even higher. (I know--what stakes could be higher than high school marching band?!)

The structure of this game will be a bit different. We’re dropping the crazy long common route because we feel like we’ve been there and done that, and it’s a huge headache. I love long common routes but now...I get it, I get why a lot of games have a short one or just have you pick a route, hahaha. This game’s common route will be much shorter (one whole day haha), but each romance route will be a beast in length with larger branches into various endings. The plot is so heavy that it would be best experienced in a specific order so a couple routes will be locked when you start up the game.

There will be heartwarming good endings, tragic bad endings, and somewhat bittersweet endings. And we shall once again have an original soundtrack and partial voice acting, so keep an eye out for that casting call! We plan to cast later in the process so we don’t keep our voice actors waiting around for light years on end.

There will be four main love interests to fall in love with this time around, though I’m certain you will fall in love with even more. This cast will be older, as well, with a 25-year old MC and LIs ranging from 24 to 30. I’m looking forward to writing a more adult story (not 18+, just in tone and perspective). I can’t wait to someday introduce you to them along with the rest of this memorable cast. Or maybe you’ve already heard of them…?

All of this means my social media activity is going to be eclipsed by writing and planning this next game for a while. Our platforms may be a bit quieter, but I will continue to check them of course, so don’t ever hesitate to reach out!

I’ll eagerly be anticipating the day we can start revealing the game and its amazing characters once we have something to show you. It was conceptualized way back in 2019 and been patiently awaiting its turn to shine. There will also be a free demo for you to meet the cast and dip your toes into the plot. For now, we gotta focus on the grind! But I know we have the perseverance to see this through because we’ve already done it once before!

Thank you so much for reading all of this. You deserve a yummy heart-shaped cookie with pink icing for doing so. We really appreciate you all so much! Please look forward to our next game.

♥ Lovebird Games

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Practice Conversations - Yearn for the Angel.: Hisoka Mikage

Part 1

Hisoka: Uriel was my first role as a part of the Winter Troupe.

Hisoka: Although I’ve performed as him more than once, doing a sequel feels strange… But I’m happy.

Hisoka: I was glad to see Uriel hadn’t changed.

Hisoka: Obviously, my feelings towards acting have changed since back then, and I think my acting and expressions have gotten better thanks to standing on stage with everyone.

Hisoka: I’m sure I can perform better than I did during our first play, especially because I understand Uriel better. I’ll do my best to put on a great show together with everyone.

Part 2

Hisoka: Just like in the prequel, Uriel is strict about the rules of Heaven. There are times when he warns the other angels about them.

Hisoka: … Sakyo also often warns everyone that we have to follow the rules and gets angry.

Hisoka: He sighs in exasperation, sometimes glares at us, and yells in a pretty loud voice…

Hisoka: Honestly, sometimes I find him really annoying, but… I think Sakyo pays close attention to us and thinks of us a lot.

Hisoka: There’s a scene where Uriel gets angry at Raphael and the others. It might be a good idea to take a little inspiration from that side of Sakyo for it.

Part 3

Hisoka: There’s a part in the story where Uriel tells someone that he’s too emotional and too easily influenced by humans.

Hisoka: As an angel, Uriel is calm, and I don’t think he’s the type to be easily be swayed by emotions or be influenced in other ways.

Hisoka: … But personally, I feel like I can understand it.

Hisoka: Spending time with you and seeing all the different expressions you make, makes me happy, too, and makes me wonder if I could be of some help to you…

Hisoka: There are times when I do things because of your influence.

Hisoka: And there are also times when I’m affected by the company, or everyone in it, and they make me want to do something.

Hisoka: Uriel doesn’t like them, but I… don’t find these kinds of things so bad.

Hisoka: … Will you go out after this, Director? To buy ingredients for today’s desert and snacks…

Hisoka: I can’t wait. I’m sure everyone else will be happy, too. I was just thinking of buying new marshmallows too, so… I’ll come with you.

Chat: Omi Fushimi

Hisoka: … There you are, Omi.

Omi: Is something wrong, Hisoka-san?

Hisoka: This is for you. I was away till yesterday, so.

Omi: That’s true. Welcome back, again. Sorry to make you go out of your way for souvenirs.

Omi: Oh, are these local sweets? There are so many kinds, that’s amazing.

Hisoka: Yeah. I tried them there and they were delicious.

Hisoka: You always make me delicious food, so I bought them for you as thanks.

Omi: That makes me happy, thank you. Let’s eat them now that we’re here together. I’ll brew us some tea.

Omi: Huh… I’ve never seen these sweets before. They look delicious.

Omi: Eating new sweets like now gives me the chance to think of new recipes and ways to arrange my own sweets.

Hisoka: … That’s what I figured. If I were to give you something delicious, I’ll also get to eat something good.

Omi: Was that how you picked your present for me? Haha, you’re quite cunning.

Hisoka: Fufu.

[fumifooms]

was not expecting how head over heels i'd fall for marchil- i stg there's something they put in the sauce like goddamn! and i've loved seeing your posts analyzing their dynamic, really helped articulate what i was feeling. i was wondering if you had any fic recs, or any recommendations for ships with a similar vibe? i'm hungry for them...

I know right, marchil gripped me in a chokehold out of nowhere and still hasn’t let go… The sauce was designed by the demon for me to get addicted specifically. It’s been too long since I haven’t written fic for them. I’m still chipping away at my Marcille & Chil arc analysis I know I always mention it and I started the draft in January but I SWEARRR… Season 1 is ending next week :/ On the upside I’ll probably be more focused. After that analysis, which is only analyzing in depth like one aspect/half of their intertwined arc btw so who knows there might be a part 2 one day, I kept thinking it’d prob be my last marchil analysis but let’s be real, probably not. Every week I find something new to point out about them aah…… Dungeon food, ahh, dungeon food…

Fanfic rec wise, well first I have my own marchil fics, to which I mostly recommend Grind Me Down Sweetly, and then feel free to browse my marchil bookmarks for what seems good! I don’t know what your tastes are but Shroomyystar makes super good angst (and smut), my favorite being 'Til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours about Marcille getting deathly sick and the dilemma to confess or to not confess, incredibly haunting piece of bittersweet but soul-crushing angst AND character study. Like wow! Chilchuck I need to throw you in a river. I want you beside me is cute bedsharing banter. From me to you makes my head spin and makes me shake my screen. And- *gets dragged off before I can mention more* Meanwhile on the flipside, Anita_Amai (the first ao3 marchil writer, still going strong 👏👏) is especially great at offering short and sweet pieces, the tone is usually light and comedic and it always makes me smile and giggle, gives me fluff attacks, the fics always a strong good scene or theme idea too. Just browse and pick any, it’s a good time. There’s soo many more. Honestly I recommend just diving into the ao3 tag and start reading. You can start by kudos and read the highest ones first to dip your toes and get the community classics one out. Early on there was a recurring anon writer who did great bittersweet domestic confession stuff like this one, lifespan angst oughh... Wherever you are now thank you for all your work 😭💖 A lot of new marchil writers are starting to post too! A csm asaden fanfic writer legend just joined the tag so marchil will probably finally get some multi-chaptered fanfics haha~ But yess there’s unrequited angst, there’s self-sabotaging angst, there’s domestic fluff, there’s falling in love and bantery fluff, bunch of good stuff <3

As to ships with similar vibes: The closest I’ve seen so far is honestly weirdly close, it’s the protagonists from a romance comedy josei called Dame na watashi ni koishite kudasai or Please love useless me! I don’t want to spoil but there’s even the guy needing to move on from a doomed love + emotional distance issues and the gal slowly invading his personal life/social circle and my god… They were coworkers, he was rude, he’s a workaholic, he’s reliable, she’s sunshine and needs to get some reality checks... The banter. THE BANTER. He represses and she copes by simping for fictional characters. He made, like, a mutual aid community for ex-gangsters. They dress up in silly costumes sometimes. They’re weeeird about each other in an unlabelable way before dating in a way (in a fun marchil in canon way). It’s so funny she’s cracking open his convoluted personal drama like her morning newspapers. There’s more there’s so much more. Give up on your dreams, make money, love loses 🔥🔥 It’s honestly just a great fun read, it’s such a mood. Haven’t read the sequel yet but there’s one so really if it hooks you you’ll be fed well and for a while. The greatest bits are too spoilery but here, have the vibe.

Howl’s Moving Castle, specifically the book, and there’s a ton of themes and narratives that are so fitting for them that I couldn’t possibly all list, I already made a post on it here if you’re interested in all the details and similarities and my AU thoughts haha.

Teen Titans 2003 the show, Beast Boy x Starfire. THAT’S RIGHT I’M A BBSTAR, BAM! 💥🫶 Jokester that’s dependable x sweet and idealistic but strong and protective. Short gremlin and tall beauty. Friends-coworkers to lovers. Very soft fluffy slice of life ship I like it a lot, and I wrote a fic for it hehe. Might do more one day, I have a bunch of prompts written down and a series I really wanted to get to sob.

I almost forgot to mention Shrek. It’s SO FUNNY how well it goes sometimes… Chil Shrek, Laios Donkey, Marcille Fiona. I want to say Mickbell could be Farquaad but even Mick doesn’t deserve this slander… Shrek 2 fear that he’s not prince charming enough for her oughh. Laios getting to be a horse good for him good for him. Winged Lion singing I need a hero. Someone stop me.

There’s also zenmiyo from Touge Oni but no one reads that </3 I gotta get to my review/lore analysis about that manga it’s sooo good a fave read of mine from last year. Like it’s so fucking good. It keeps just ramping up and getting more crazily good. Scrolling through some pages rn and it’s a unique blend of comedy, philosophy and awe-inspiring visuals and creativity. Well, sort of like late Dunmeshi actually. If it had a fandom any bigger I’d be all over it constantly. And I’d also recommend Harahara Sensei / Timebomb Teacher if it had any english translation, one of my fave mangas also. It’s about mafia, and a goody two shoes willing to go through a corruption arc to save her sister x stern rude mafioso who’s there bc he’s poor and on a revenge mission, never had any other option growing up etc etc. Ok he’s not that Chilchuck but the dynamic does have that "grow up and see the world for what it is, a shithole. It’s been hell for me" vs "ok you have a point. But also have you considered not sacrificing your humanity and emotions in a self-destructive pursuit" (not that she’s in the position to talk lmaoo) like ohh my goood him throwing his popsicle stick in the fire that she lit over a corpse, it haunts me.

From the marchil Discord it’s also fun to notice ships some of us share… Csm asaden, some combination of LotR elf x short guy, fair amount of dunmeshi ships overlap too. Haven’t found the overall common thread quite yet and I’m forgetting many that have come up but lol some off the top of my head.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

Hey there! For the fic writer ask game - If you don’t mind I‘d love to know:

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Thank you so much and have a fantastic day!!

wheee, thank you! Answering this now because I am having to sit around and wait for a bus because I forgot that the missus needs the car today so I am going to be REALLY late for work since I've just missed the previous bus >.<

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them? Several! I've kind of lost track of the non-frisky-Italians ones because the Italians are so ludicrously insistent at the moment, but I really do want to get back on with the sequel to death is certain, life is not, in which a grown-up Tilda goes to Rivendell to learn healing, and rather loses her heart.

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers. Oh, there are so many. Including, but not limited to, @lemurious, @scary-grace and @mirkwood-hr-department! I don't have much time or brainspace for fic (especially at the moment when the Italians are basically devouring all my time) but those are three whose works I adore!

Thank you so much for asking! <333333 Anyone else fancy asking me some questions about fic which I may or may not manage to answer before I get this wretched bus?

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] ★ Main Story | Act 15 - Painful RE:bake | Episode 6 - A Broken Shell

Taichi: --Well then, I’ve got a challenge that I’ve always wanted to take on!

Taichi: I… wanna try getting a leading role outside of the company.

Taichi: The only reason I was able to stand at position zero with my chest out as the lead role during Mantou Fist was because I had everyone in Autumn Troupe behind me.

Taichi: But for my “individual growth”, I’ve gotta go beyond that.

Taichi: I wanna play the leading role without having all of Autumn Troupe with me. That’s what will lead to my evolution and confidence as the actor, Taichi Nanao.

Taichi: That’s why… I wanna take on that challenge and give the world I once gave up on another shot head-on.

Azami: The world you once gave up on…?

Taichi: I’m gonna try my hand in the film industry, like dramas and movies, ‘cause when I did those as a child actor, I didn’t grow at all!

Sakyo: The film industry, huh…?

Taichi: I got so knocked down by Ten-chan’s overwhelming presence, especially since he was the same age as me, that I gave up on the idea that I could ever be like him…

Taichi: But now that he recognized me as an equal rival, I think there might be something I can do now.

Taichi: I wanna contribute to the troupe by re-challenging the barriers that I failed at back then and become an even better actor than I am now!

Taichi: …That said, I’ve got no clue where to even start.

Banri: If you’re tryin’ to get an audition, why don’t ya talk to Tenma?

Banri: I mean, you’d still hafta be offered the leadin’ role in a production, but the Sumeragi Agency prolly has some contacts.

Banri: That’s how I got an audition for Handsome Detective.

Taichi: Oh yeah, that’s right!

Juza: Handsome Detective, huh… That was quite the masterpiece.

Banri: Shut it.

Taichi: Alright, I’ll try talking to Ten-chan!

Azami: If that’s the kinda thing you’re talkin’ about, I’d kinda like to do something like that too.

Sakyo: That’s something I’ve always wanted to try too.

Omi: …

Taichi: Omi-kun? You okay?

Omi: Yeah-- I just need to find something to challenge like everyone else.

Omi: (I’m concerned about the matter at hand, but… I need to focus on myself.)

Banri: Aight, so that’s it for what we’re--.

Sakyo: Can I make a suggestion?

Sakyo: These individual challenges are good, but this is a sequel performance. If we don’t bring attention to Autumn Troupe, we won’t fill seats and we won’t sell on streaming.

Sakyo: We should make good use of our spare time and do something all together as Autumn Troupe.

Taichi: Like what…?

Juza: Somethin’ like how Spring Troupe did their beginner’s workshop?

Sakyo: Exactly.

Azami: I feel like that was a good opportunity to get people interested in their performance, not just our fans.

Juza: Should Autumn Troupe do that too?

Banri: Nah, a workshop for beginners with this many scary faces? …We’d just scare away the participants.

Azami: Shouldn’t it be somethin’ that take advantage of Autumn Troupe’s strengths?

Juza: Our strengths… Ya mean action?

Taichi: I getcha! We can teach people the basics too!

Sakyo: We should get Yuzo-san to supervise the rehearsal menu then.

Banri: If we’re gonna put together a plan between now and before Autumn Troupe’s performance, and talk to a buncha different people, we better get on it…

Omi: Then I’ll take care of the management stuff once you’re ready for it.

Omi: I’ve done planning and management for these kinds of events for the photography agency before.

Omi: Also, Zen-san mentioned the other day that--.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Flashback*

Zen: Just let me know if any of the newborn group wants to use it for action-specific rehearsals or somethin’.

Zen: I’ll lend it to you whenever it’s available. Tell your director about it.

*Flashback end*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Omi: So I can get right on it and talk to him about it.

Taichi: That’s some great timing!

Sakyo: The first generation always has a soft spot for the newborn group.

Banri: I’m grateful that we’re able to rely on them now.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[devondeal]

16, 40, 46, and 55 for the writer ask game 😘💚💙

Thank you wifey! These were so fun to do 🥰 been way too long since Ive done fun Tumblr things:

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them

Really just the sequels to existing fics like A Master’s Gift and Ahsoka’s Ruminations. One idea I have for A Master’s Gift is I’ll get into flashbacks about how the Barrissoka break up went down to explain why their dynamic is the way it is in the last chapter.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I would love to see fanart of Ahsoka’s Ruminations with one of the hallucinations maybe when Barriss hallucination shows up cuz angst ahoy.

But I would especially love fanart of Luminara and Barriss in A Master’s Gift when they reunite in the afterlife. Also Ahsoka threatening Lyn would be fun 🤣 aiming her lightsaber at her throat all angy, Lyn terrified, and Barriss rolling her eyes.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character, emotion, action driven, etc.)

Character and emotion driven I would say. Like my fics are often born from any character tension I can feel and want to exploit in a way that canon for some reason wasted.

55. Of the characters you write for, which has been your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers’/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Barriss is my favorite because she is just so complex though Ahsoka is a close second because I love giving her more depth than canon ever will.

An unexpected pleasure to write has been Luminara though. She’s challenging in a fun way and I make myself laugh writing her mominara shennanigans.

I don’t think my choices have been swayed thus far. I have my favorites and I stick with them. Though my wife has definitely made me enjoy writing for Luminara since the majority of my interpretation of her comes from there.

[grilledcheese-savage]

Unironically loved The Acolyte. Got some genuine questions on why so many Star Wars fans hate it though. As someone who knows a DEEP amount of lore from both the movies and the non canon books, I feel like I’m inclined to speak on this.

Here’s some questions to ask yourself

1. Do you hate the acting and the “plot holes” or do you just hate women and gay people?

2. Does it actually break the Star Wars lore? Or does it just add more to the general universe?

3. Have you ACTUALLY watched the show up to now? Or did you just assume it was going to suck as soon as you saw Disney made new Star Wars content?

Listen, if you hate that Disney keeps throwing away shows for money, I AGREE. I hate that they seem to put 3% of effort into my favorite universe. But some of the discourse I am hearing on this show is getting eerily close to a hate crime.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, and you can tell me a definitive answer on the first three, I’d love a could discussion on this show. Free from preemptive opinions.

Spoilers now

Here’s what I liked about this show:

- I liked that they showed someone else created by midichlorians. They insinuated in the prequels that it was how Anakin was born and some people are saying that makes him not special anymore. I disagree with this because palpatine was not the first sith, if you listen to the darth plagueis story, he says “He could even use the force to influence the midichlorians to create life.” They never said he was the only person. They just said “ITS A SITH LEGEND”. Don’t you think a cult of sith lesbians would know the story of darth plagueis the wise? I mean yeah, it makes for some grey area in terms of timeline but we have 300 year old Jedi masters and he’s a sith that gets a clone in the sequels it’s not that impossible.

- I love the idea of twins when it comes to Star Wars. One dark one light.

- The costumes!!! The costumes tell a story. For one, I actually love that they aren’t weathered because this was a time of peace for the Jedi, most Jedi wouldn’t have as much time in the field to weather their clothes, so they’re very bright and colorful.

- The settings were so beautiful, and gave me MAJORRR dark fantasy vibes. Especially the space suit, it was giving a different vibe for Star Wars yet still get very George Lucas to me.

- And of course, I have to talk about the fight scenes. They are so fast it really feels like these people know what they’re doing. You can understand their train of thought in every move. It’s fun to watch.

- The lightsabers. I love seeing more yellow lightsabers and more variety. I love seeing the lightsaber whip, I need more of it tho.

- I loved Jecki and Sol, they were pretty fun and original characters. I like how morally grey Sol is, and jecki is my fave type of character… rip.

Here’s what I didn’t like:

- why did that one chick have a purple lightsaber? I was fine with it at first but now it kinda messes with how I saw purple lightsabers. I know the colors don’t technically have a meaning, or at least a set one. Especially since Samuel Jackson just wanted a purple one. But I always saw it as someone who was morally grey and walked the line between the dark in the light. Someone who has a code, but will kill for their own obligations. Which would actually work for this character… it’s the fact that the color is supposed to be rare. I always thought Mace was the first and one of the only to have a purple lightsaber. I’m not against there being multiple purple lightsabers, I just wish they explained it a bit more. Idk. This one’s just me.

- The acting isn’t necessarily bad… it just isn’t great either? Idk, I got mixed feelings. Because there are some episodes where I think “Amandla’s doing pretty good this episode playing two people.” And then I see another scene and think “Damn… I wish they chose some different actors because this is just clunky.” ESPECIALLY the children. I thought there acting was rough, but I’m pretty lenient when it comes to that because they’re kids and they’ll grow with age. Plus, it’s hard to find twins who look like amandla who can act.

-the dialogue is not great a lot of the time. But I’m a Star Wars fan, so I know for a fact that’s never been just “The Acolyte”’s problem. I think we were spoiled Andor.

- I was kinda nervous about the addition of sith witches, but that’s again, just a personal opinion. It’s not that I’m against just sith witches, I just had to get used to the idea of people other than the Jedi, understanding the force but using it differently. Which, wasn’t just an acolyte problem for me. It was a Dave Filoni adding witches to sci fi problem. It’s just, when I think “witches” I don’t think “Star wars”. Because the force isn’t really magic. But I’ve gotten more used to it the more they developed all the different tribes, and especially after watching rebels and clone wars a while back. I’m actually pretty okay with it now, it just took some getting used to, which the live action only haven’t had to deal with until Ahsoka the series, which was less of a problem because they were focused on Hayden coming back. At least in my opinion that’s how I saw it.

- I didn’t like that jecki used ahsoka moves, despite it being the past, it being the first time they duel blade, and the fact that THEY DIE so they can’t even teach these moves to people who then show ahsoka etc. It leads to my next problem,

- it kinda seemed like they were too focused on references. Like they wanted to prove themselves, like “Hey, this isn’t breaking canon, see, I know a ton about Star Wars lore!” It felt like hand-holding. It was cute the first couple times, but it wasn’t spread out enough.

- Yoda is pretty old, and this show is only 100 years in the past, right? So where is he? In fact, where are most of the Jedi masters. I’m sure a lot of them would be babies, but isn’t Shaak ti like, 240? Huh??? Where is everyone? This is probably why I was so confused in the first episode, thinking it was like, 2000 years in the past.

- and lastly, they run into the problem many prequels run into, which is, not knowing what the past of a futuristic world would look like. It’s hard to come up with, old looking lightsabers when lightsabers are inherently futuristic. Etc.

Other than that, I didn’t actually notice it breaking any canon. It should be obvious to most viewers that it’s going to end with everyone who saw the Sith, dying with his secret. That would fix the “plot hole” that they are apparently making.

Also the number one complaint I’ve been seeing is that they have a black main character, who’s a women and they automatically assume that Disney is being woke. They haven’t done anything remotely woke about this. I’ve also seen people complain that two women had a child.

They’re Sith, wouldn’t that be the OPPOSITE of being woke??? Also this is the future, why do you think that a galaxy of aliens with all kinds of genders would be homophobic? That makes less sense than them moving a birthday around. Also please remember clones exist and Anakin’s mother was a Virgin Mary.

😭💀💀💀 Some of the haters are NOT Star Wars fans and get all of their points from Star Wars theory.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Any idea about how the timeline of TWST would even look??? With the events, vignettes and Books?

Like, actual dates and such? I saw some comments saying that Yana confirmed that all begins in late September, but you can’t be serious that Riddle recovered that quickly from a OB.

Is okay if you don’t respond. Just, trying to get stuff in order here

Hi, let me start off by saying that, in regards to book 1, it does indeed take place in late September (as Yana herself has stated). On the subject of Overblots, all of the OB boys (Riddle included) revert back to their normal forms after they are defeated in battle. That (I guess) technically counts as recovery, doesn't it (since they're no longer in their OB forms)? I'm assuming that the OB students are not immediately sentenced back to classwork (where they may be putting themselves in further danger by exerting their bodies to use more magic). They're probably put in a probation period and/or monitored closely before they're given the clearance to go back to using magic. After all, it usually only takes regular rest, meals, and relaxing to restore one's magic and to ease away blot. Now, about the rest of the ask!! I won't be putting together a timeline. It would be a different matter entirely if I was being asked to just do this for the main story and maybe events (a lot of events, especially sequels or birthdays, could be lumped into the same general time frames), but all vignettes as well? That's where I draw the line. Right now, there are over 100 vignettes in Twisted Wonderland, and it's simply NOT feasible to comb through each one individually and seek out context clues for when the vignettes may be happening. Not only that, but I know for a fact that not every vignette will have clues about when they are taking place. I'm sorry, but no one has the time to do that, certainly not me 💦

Frankly, putting together a single comprehensive timeline for TWST is an impossible task. I know that there's been many fans who have tried their hand at this (and I applaud them for their efforts! It's nothing to sneeze at), but it's just not able to be feasibly done. There is no arrangement which neatly puts everything together in a way that makes total sense. (It would also be a VERY chaotic year if all the TWST content that has been released so far happened in the span of less than one year in which the main story occurs.) There will always be inconsistencies in how the characters act or what other details are referenced which will contradict where they are placed in the timeline. (For example, why is Epel friendly with Vil during the Halloween events in autumn when Epel didn't get his character development and learn to respect Vil until book 7 in like... early spring? It cannot be the Halloween after book 5 because Vil would be gone on his internship.) This is also an issue that the TWST devs themselves have, so Yana Toboso basically came out and said that vignettes and events happen in their own alternate timelines separate from that of the main story. (For example, Fairy Gala: If isthe event that is most obviously an alternate retelling of the original Fairy Gala; if this event were occurring after the other, the characters would be commenting on “why is this happening again”.)

At best, you'll be able to guess season, months, or general spans of time; there are rarely concrete dates granted (excluding birthdays, Halloween, Sam's New Year Sale, and/or NRC Founding Day/Anniversary). I also want to note that a lot of people tend to assume the Ceremonial Robes vignettes are all set before the entrance ceremony, but this is not necessarily true as we have outliers like Deuce’s vignettes which indicate he is wearing his robes for a special ceremony other than the opening one.

I would recommend researching yourself, maybe looking into timelines other people have made for fun. Just don't get too caught up in the technicalities and please be aware that the "perfect" and "contradiction-free" TWST timeline does not exist.