#With the exception of big bang theory I love all the content i used as examples - no hate meant

[cy-cyborg]

Writing Disability: Let us Love like everyone else

[ID: An illustrated picture of a red rose on a pink background. To the left of the rose is white text that reads "Writing Disability: Let us Love like everyone else. /End ID]

Romance is one of the top-selling genres in the world across mediums, and pretty much every movie, TV show, book and game has at least one romance sub-plot. You don’t need to look far to find it. However, when it comes to disabled characters, a lot of creators shy away from giving us romantic plot lines or even hesitate to address the topic of disability and attraction being present in the same character at all. So, since it’s Valentine’s day, I thought now would be the perfect time to discuss it.

It can be easy to miss if you aren't paying attention, but a surprising number of stories in various mediums will pair up most if not all of their main cast of characters by the end of the plot… with the exception of the disabled characters. whether they be explicitly stated to be disabled or just coded as such, disabled characters are more frequently left out of relationships by the story's end. Sometimes, the disabled character will be completely disinterested or the subject is just never addressed, such as with Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender. Toph is implied to have had multiple relationships by the time of the sequel series, but unlike the rest of the original gang, we never see it on screen, so I personally think it doesn't count for reasons I'll get into in a moment. Alternatively, the disabled character will show interest in someone, but their affection is just not reciprocated, such as in Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame. Disney's Hunchback is a particularly noteworthy example since it's one of the only theatrical Disney movies where the main character has a clearly stated love interest, but doesn't end up with them by the end.

ID: an screenshot of the hunchback of notre dame showing Quasiemodo, a man with a hunchback and facial differences swinging and singing on at spire at the top of the notre dame cathedral. /End ID

In the latter case, where the disabled character’s love is not reciprocated, these stories will often focus on the importance of self-discovery and self-love. An important message to be sure, but the fact that these “you don’t need a partner as long as you love yourself” stories very often centre disabled characters is frustrating, to say the least (If the character isn’t disabled, they’re often deemed “undesirable" for other reasons, such as being fat, but that’s a topic for another day).

Of course, the reason the character doesn’t end up with their love interest doesn't have to be because of their disability specifically. Even if they were turned down for other reasons, it can still contribute to the stereotype that disabled people can’t find love even when they want to, just aren’t desirable as partners (a sentiment that is especially commonly directed at visibly disabled people) and contributes to the overall lack of representation of disabled relationships.

In the other case I mentioned before, where a disabled character is just not interested in romance, can look different depending on the kind of disability the character has, but in my experience, it often comes from the same place: discomfort. This isn't necessarily a conscious thought or decision on the creator’s end, mind you, but just because it's not intentional, doesn't mean it's not doing harm, even if it’s subconsciously.

A lot of the time, many creators don't even consider giving their disabled characters a love interest. the thought never even occurs to them. I can't pretend to know why for sure, but if I had to take a guess, its because the idea of disability and romance just don't go together in most people's eyes, so the thought never even crosses these creator's minds. But why? it comes back to that discomfort.

When we are talking about physical disabilities and those effecting the body but not the brain, the discomfort can come from a few places. First is the discomfort with disabled and visibly different bodies and how they work as a whole. I've spoken about this in the past, but just the idea of disability alone often makes non-disabled people deeply uncomfortable, and when it comes to visible disabilities, they are often forced to confront that, something that a lot of people are resistant to. they don't like thinking about it, and while many non-disabled creators have dealt with this discomfort enough to include us in their stories, they haven't deconstructed it enough to include us having things like romantic relationships.

This is why, despite the fact that Toph has children in The Legend of Korra, I’m still using her as an example. We see the other main character’s relationships and partners in the original show and in The Legend of Korra directly, but never hers. The most we ever hear of Toph’s love life is that Sue and Lin, her daughters, have different fathers. While the mention was good, when looking at this through the lens of “people are uncomfortable with disabled people being in relationships” you can see how the openly disabled character’s relationships only ever happening off screen and occasionally mentioned might still be an issue, even if that wasn’t the creator’s intent.

ID: A screenshot of the legend of Korra showing Toph, a middle-aged woman with black hair and metal armour, lecturing her two daughters. /End ID

this disparity becomes particularly noticeable, however, in media aimed at an older audience where romantic relationships often mean sex. When the relationship is expected to be sexual in nature, an extra layer of discomfort often appears. A lot of people just quite simply don't understand how sex works when you have a physical disability, and are extremely uncomfortable simply looking it up (there are educational resources out there on the subject, and even disability content creators who focus on educating people about sex and disability, I’m not talking about looking up porn). Often times, they just avoid it by simply not giving their disabled characters relationships of any kind to avoid having to address those questions.

There is also the fact that many people infantilise those with disabilities and associate us with children. This is more common when it comes to non-physical disabilities, such as those under the neurodivergent umbrella (which refers to any disability that primarily impacts the brain) and I'll talk about that in a moment, but it does happen with physical disabilities too, most notably with little people and disabilities that impact someone’s height or physical development. Often, for those of us with physical disabilities, the infantilization comes from people either directly associating us with children because of our appearance, or feeling as though we need to be protected like children.

When talking about disabled people in relationships, this might look like someone being hesitant to pair a disabled character up with someone without a disability because they “can’t protect themselves” if the relationship goes bad. This isn’t something I’ve seen stated directly much in media, mind you, but it is a response I’ve gotten from a surprising number of people in real life when I’ve asked why they don’t like the idea of “people like me” (meaning amputees and wheelchair users) dating. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the reason some authors and creatives avoid inter-abled relationships in their works based on how often I got that comment when I started dating; they are concerned about the power imbalance. but this mindset is based on both infantilization and the stereotype that physically disabled people are always inherently weaker. If you’re not always worried about how non-disabled characters would protect themselves in a relationship, why are you only worried it when one of the characters is disabled?

However, like I mentioned before, the disabled character being simply uninterested in romance or sex isn't unique to visibly and physically disabled people. It’s is so common with neurodivergent folks, in fact that it’s become a bunch of tropes all of their own, with the most common variant being where specifically autistic or autistic-coded characters will often be the only aromatic or asexual people in a story’s cast.

For those unfamiliar with the terms, aromatic people are those who experience little to no romantic attraction, or those who experience it differently to most, while asexual people are those who experience little to no sexual attraction (or, again, experience it differently to most). It’s a bit more complex than that, and both terms exist on a spectrum, but in order not to get too side-tracked, I’ll leave it there. I‘d highly, highly recommend Jaiden Animation’s video on the subject though if you want to learn more in a beginner-friendly way.

There’s this idea that a lot of non-disabled people get about neurodivergent folks, especially those with developmental or intellectual disabilities, that we are these sweet little innocent beans who don’t want to or simply can’t engage with “adult” things. In most cases though, this isn’t the true. For some folks, including many creators, this is once again an unconscious bias and is the result of them simply not thinking about or deconstructing their ideas around different kinds of disabilities. In these cases, the idea usually stems from the fact that there are some (keyword some) disabilities under this category that do impact someone’s ability to engage with things like sex and romantic relationships, and most people not overly familiar with the disability community just don’t know enough to understand that just because some people under this category can’t or don’t want to engage, doesn’t mean we all can’t.

Unfortunately though, when this is pointed out to a lot of people, instead of adjusting their viewpoint or seeking more information, they get severally uncomfortable about the idea, even going so far as calling someone who is dating someone with a developmental or intellectual disability as “creepy” because they, once again, associate people with these kinds of disabilities with children. Since children can’t consent, neither can we. This is, once again, infantilization, but much more directly.

While I haven’t seen the full episode (or much of the show as a whole), so I don’t really want to comment on weather it handled the subject well, I do at least appreciate that the show Glee calls this line of thinking out when one of the characters, Becky, who has down’s syndrome, begins dating someone without a disability. The parts of the episode I have seen shows several characters around Becky expressing concern, but their bias is called out by the end of the episode. What I have seen of Glee was during a particularly long stay in hospital while being given pretty strong medication so my memory of it is spotty (not to mention everything was out of order) so like I said, I can’t comment on weather or not it was good per say, but I do remember the discussion this episode sparked in my high school with students and teachers alike, and I remember it being the starting point for some important conversations with people.

As I said, there are some disabilities under the neurodivergent umbrella that might prevent a character from engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship. some. however, it's incredibly important to remember that a lot of these kinds of disabilities exist on a spectrum of support needs, and if the character in question's disability would be preventing them from doing so, they would typically be on the very severe ends of those spectrums and have very substantial support needs in other areas of life too. The vast majority of neurodivergent characters in media don't fall into this category. If you are writing someone who has these higher support needs (and please do, we need more characters like that!), be sure to do your research and double check your assumptions about their capability to engage though. Ensure it's actually reflective of their disability and isn't just based on stereotypes and misinformation. And don't forget, if you’re ever unsure, you can always check with a sensitivity reader or disability consultant.

Even in cases where a disabled character does get into a relationship, one of a few things frequently happen that I think authors might want to be mindful to avoid - or at least approach with caution.

The first is that the disabled character, despite being in a relationship, will be completely disinterested in sex (or any part of a physical relationship, such as kissing, if the content is aimed at a younger audience), often being implied or directly stated to be asexual. The first example of this that springs to mind for me is Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. While Sheldon is never confirmed as autistic within the show, he displays many autistic traits throughout both the original show (albeit in a stereotypical way that’s played mostly for laughs) and in the spin-off, Young Sheldon. When Sheldon does eventually get into a relationship though and even gets married, he is shown to be very, very reluctant and overall disinterested in sex.

ID: A screenshot from Big Bang Theory of Amy and Sheldon sitting on a couch, where Amy looks annoyed towards someone off camera, while sheldon looks at her, confused. /End ID

So what’s the problem with this? in a vacuum, nothing. Some people don’t care for sex and don’t experience sexual attraction, and it’s fine to show that - we need more ace representation! I myself am disabled (an amputee and autistic) and asexual, shouldn’t I be glad to see characters like me?

Well, the issue isn’t that this is unrealistic, but rather overplayed and often contains a lot of misinformation about both asexual people and disabled folks.

My disabilities have nothing to do with my asexuality - which remember just means someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction; it has nothing to do with weather or not someone enjoys sex. However whenever asexuality and disability are paired together in the same character, it’s almost always because of the character’s disability. As in, the person in the wheelchair is ace because they can’t feel anything down there so they stopped feeling attracted to people (which is not even close to how that works, but is a real example I’ve seen on a few occasions now) or the autistic person is just too invested in telling you about trains, science, superhero’s or whatever their special interest is, to be worried about sex.

The other issue is, like I said, there’s a lot of examples of disabled ace characters already, and considering how poorly most are handled, many disabled people and asexual people alike are just tired of seeing it. Honestly, until both disability and ace representation and understanding as a whole, improve independently, it’s a combination of identities I’d recommend avoiding in your work, at least for now.

Finally, when a disabled character does enter a relationship, sexual or not, a very common dynamic is that the character will often get very insecure and scared that the person they’re dating doesn’t actually like them, or worries that the other person is settling for them, often resulting in their partner reassuring them that they love them, "despite their disability." A recent example of this can be seen in the web series Helluva boss between the character Fizzarolli, an imp who is a quadrilateral amputee with broken horns and facial scarring, and his boyfriend Asmodeus. While Fizzarolli’s insecurities are primarily focused on living up to impossible standards for success, he shouts during a panic attack that he believes that Asmodeus will leave him if he isn't successful, stating that without it, "this is who I am" - ripping off his hat to show his broken horns and scars (something we are told that he acquired in the same accident he lost his limbs in).

ID: A screenshot of Helluva Boss showing Fizzarolli, a cartoon imp in a clown outfit, patchy makeup and broken horns, anxiously holding his jester's cap in his hands. Behind him, Asmodeus, a large blue, feathery demon in a striped suit, looks on, concerned. /End ID

My problem with scenarios like these is once again, not that it’s unrealistic, but that it shows up constantly. The intention with these kinds of scenes is often to assure the character and by extension, disabled readers or viewers, that they are in fact deserving of love. That just because they’re disabled, doesn’t mean they’ll never find anyone. Once again, it's a good message, however, because of how prevalent this exact scene is, it can actually have the opposite effect.

Let’s step back from disability for a moment: If you see dozens and dozens of people with a feature you have, saying they are insecure about that same feature in almost all of of the shows you watch, the books you read, the games you play where characters with this feature appear, even if you aren’t insecure about it yourself, seeing over and over again that others are, it’s natural that it would start to make you doubt or wonder if you should be. Doubly so if that very insecurity prompts these big, often explosive and emotional scenes.

This was the case for me as a kid, I never really cared much about my disability outside of being annoyed that people stared at me, but as I got older, and I saw more and more characters in the media I consumed saying they were certain no one could love someone like them - someone like me - I became more and more worried. The messages that were supposed to be reassurances, instead told me over and over that the people these characters ”found” were the exception, not the rule, and that most people would, in fact, care that I was disabled and not want to date me. When all my friends began dating and getting into relationships, I began to worry that I would never find “my exception to the rule” and be alone forever.

I didn’t really get over that mindset until well into my 20’s, well into my current relationship with my now fiancé, and I know I wasn’t alone in these concerns. I used to work with teenage amputees, and this was a very, very common fear across all genders and sexualities. I still see it in forums and social media groups whenever newly disabled people join, it’s one of the more common fears brought up, and while I get that scenes like these are meant to reflect this reality and help, more often than not, they’re doing the opposite.

For once, I would love to see a disabled character get into a relationship, and for there not to be any mention of “are you sure?” “How could you ever love someone like me?” “I’m worried you don’t actually find me attractive” etc. These conversations are realistic, yes, but we see them so often that I just really wish I could see more examples of stories where the validity of the disabled character’s relationship is never questioned and is never a concern. It just is.

Of course, as with most of the subjects I’ve talked about before, many of these points are less of a concern if you have multiple disabled characters. If you only have one disabled character and have their love interest reject them, it can perpetuate these stereotypes about disabled people being unable to find love, but if you have another character who is successful in that reguard? Well, it’s much less of a concern. The same goes for if one of your disabled characters is asexual or aromantic, but there’s another disabled character who isn’t, or if one disabled character is insecure about their disability in their relationship, but another isn’t.

Of course, be mindful not to go too far in the other direction either. A lot of people are pretty shocked to learn that disability fetishization is also a thing, and while you shouldn’t shy away from showing disabled characters in sexual relationships just because they’re disabled, it is something you need to be mindful of if your story contains more explicit content. As a general rule of thumb, sowing your disabled characters engaging in the same kinds of relationships, romantic and sexual (including casual hook-ups and one-night-stands) is great, so long as it a) fits the character and the story, and b) is actually inline with how you’re treating those topics with the non-disabled characters.

Personally, I don’t really feel like I’m the best person to advise on where exactly that line between just showing disabled people in sexual relationships/situations and fetishisation is, though the general advice I’ve heard is to ask yourself if the focus is on the disability, or if the person just happens to be disabled. On that same note, I’m also not really comfortable explaining details of how sex works when you’re disabled. If you want to know about either of these topics, there are a plethora of disability content creators who focus specifically on those subjects.

To sum this all up though, disabled adults are, well, adults, so don’t be afraid to treat us as such. Show us in relationships where the non-disabled partner’s affection isn’t a matter of debate or insecurity, show us being intimate and having sex (if that’s something you were doing with your non-disabled characters), let us be confident in those relationships, the same as everyone else, and most importantly, remember that a disability doesn’t automatically mean someone just won’t be interested in us, or we won’t be interested in them.

[calithecretin]

(Updated as of August 2023)

Hello to whoever’s reading this!

I am a 19 year old female artist, AMV creator, and occasional fanfic writer (she/they). Drawing has always brought me immense comfort and is by far my favorite hobby. I am also queer (pan and demiromantic) and Christian. Any kind of support, from likes to revolve to follows to even just a nice comment, is super welcome!

MAIN INTERESTS: Superjail!, Postal, Clone High, DHMIS, FNAF, Deltarune, NITW, The Big Bang Theory, dinosaurs, cats, horror, the pink panther, rock music, US history from 1890s-1990s

SIDE FANDOMS/INTERESTS: TF2 (don’t play it anymore but I still love the characters),, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, Sonic, Smiling Friends, MLP:FIM, Undertale, some animes like MHA

DNI:

-Standard DNI criteria (racist, homophobic, n*zi, MAP, you get the idea)

-Proshippers/comshippers/anti-antis and their supporters🖕

-TERFs

-You regularly watch or enjoy liveleak or snuff films

-Younger than 13

-Fetish and strictly NSFW blogs (18+ blogs are ok)

-Furry haters. This is a big one as the furry community is a safe space for me and I don’t want that kind of hatred on my blog. Please DNI, thanks.

BYF:

-I may occasionally post/reblog artwork with mature themes, such as violence, suggestive content, horror, and (always censored) nudity. For this reason my account is generally rated 16+.

-If you don’t apply to my DNI list feel free to interact with me, just be aware that especially during spring and autumn I am busy with college stuff and may not respond immediately, I promise I’m not ignoring you :)

-Please, only ask for my Discord if you’re 16 or older. No offense, I just don’t feel comfortable with messaging people that young.

-I will NOT talk about NSFW topics with you if you are a minor, if you try to do that you will be blocked. No exceptions.

-l struggle with social cues, especially online. So tone tags are appreciated.

-I also have social anxiety, so I may ask for reassurance or over-apologize, please don’t take it personally.

-I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DRAMA. Please don’t rope me into it unless it’s genuinely important. Thank you.

Finally, OC boundaries since I share them quite a bit.

OK WITH ANY OF MY OCS: Fanart, especially interacting with canon/your characters! I love to see it :) also age-appropriate compliments

OK IF THEY’RE 18+: Compliments like “hot” or “sexy”, mildly suggestive art (please don’t go overboard with any of these)

ASK ME FIRST: Appearances in your fanfiction/comics (they can’t be main characters sorry), anything you’re unsure about

NOT OKAY WITH: Headcanons and self shipping with them, I totally support headcanoning and selfshippers but with my characters it just makes me uncomfy, sorry. Also, NEVER USE MY CHARACTERS FOR NSFW, FETISHES, OR SMUT.

And ofc with all of these credit me as the OG creator

Welp, that’s all! :)

[anewp0tat0]

obviously I'm late but better than never for my semi monthly chapter review hii~

Chapter 191

firstly i do want to half heartedly apologize for how much I am obsessing over this tiny cameo, but we haven't gotten art of her since the hotel promo and idc if she's the second reaper we most commonly seen it's just been so~ long. and also I didn't hear anyone complain -v-

also just because I didn't see anyone post about it before(I probably haven't scrolled enough), I'm pretty sure that's Eric and Alan(because of the hair and everyone in this panel is a reaper we know), in the corner, just dangling their existence over us as always. i just find it a little funny when yana decides to play God at what she wants to include in her canon universe.

I think this cover's pretty cool! it's the first time we canonically get to see other side reapers, and I was very excited!!

I gotta be brutally honest though, as someone who takes the visuals to heart, I was a little disappointed to see that the the reapers behind Ronald are mirrors/copies of each other. I personally get pretty dishearted when potential to create a great product gets wasted due to laziness or any other lacking that is within our control.(and also specifically applying to this, Im a sucker for character design and get bummed when i keep seeing the same jawless pretty boi face design everywhere).

however, I won't hold it against her for 2 reasons. 1, despite my whining I'm aware that there's nothing yana can if she's too busy for herself or anyone in her art team to draw so much. secondly though, the explanation that I'm gonna prefer to go with cause she will never confirm or deny this I'm sure: this was a purposeful decision to show how all the reapers- besides their hair- are meant to be soulless carbon copies of each other. except for Ronald, cause he's cool(and I think we have a mentor to blame for that😌)

-----

alright now I should actually mention the contents of the chapter

I am very excited about this Brass😀 I don't trust my memory anymore so I may be wrong, but I don't think the higher ups... or higher than higher ups👀👆🙏 have ever been referred to as the "brass" before. which I love. I have no clue what that means but it's cool. and personally I love when stories with religious contexts diverge from the traditional lore. which should be weird cause I'm kinda religious. but ya boi gets bored.

like, the almighty brass is not like the God in traditional religion, cause so and so bla bla created the planet or big bang or smth I forgot. this, these, beings seemed to have appeared. before humanity or after I'm not sure. but dude isn't it so cool and kinda creepy?? right? can't ya gurl just obsess over something that doesn't matter at ALL???

also I gotta say, I'm a little shocked that reapers can't see souls, cause I had assumed that in this universe the cinematic records themselves were the souls, or representations of them. but nope, two separate things.

dude if this series ends with the Brass literally destroying the universe cause these reapers and demons and maybe humans found out and meddled too much in the unmeddleable I don't know how my brain would work.

also real quick what if the reapers don't even work for god. what if the demons aren't even based around him and we shouldn't be assuming them to be based around Christianity in yana's universe.

LOL anyway.

I found this interesting because it's true, bizarre dolls were not the reapers(or the Brass' :O) business before. they were not known or classified as a wide threat, and they didn't have be involved. but now they have to be.

it also makes me wonder how many other reapers are involved with this case now. I mean, others have the be right?? why would they just keep sending people who are associated with grelle. there should be others off screen. it seems like this may escalate to a nation wide threat soon.

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also, I'm 70% certain someone mentioned this in a theory blog prior, but it's nice to see now that it's confirmed the very real symbolism of Lord Vega's 2 personalities in the 2 ribbons.

finally. in case it's my bad memory, does anyone mind reminding me who the "old woman" is? if we don't know yet then that's something I'll just have to think about more later.

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have a great day!! till next time :,D maybe in November we'll get to see finny and snake?

also, I know I go on like 4 different tangents here. I thought keeping them all to one post would be more organized, but should I actually be separating these thoughts? dunno. maybe I'll give it a shot next time.

[the-queen-of-hell-666]

The 100-Year Old Virgin

Pairing: Virgin!Steve Rogers / Fem!Reader

Words: 2000+

Summary: Reader has a crush on Steve but he is already seeing someone.

 Warnings: explicit sexual content (vaginal sex, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex (M and F receiving), squirting), friends to lovers, lost of virginity, SMUT!!!!! NO MINORS!!! 18+!!!!

A/N: This was my first time writing a Steve Smut fic (Only because I have only written Supernatural smut) and I am very proud of this fic. I like to write in 3rd person, just because it makes it easier on myself. There is some fluff at the end but for the most part it’s smut. Also I posted this on my Ao3 account and people seemed to really like it and I want to see if it happens with all platforms. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did while writing it. 

Y/n sat on the couch of the Avengers compound. She was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and one of the t-shirts, she stole from Steve, her best friend. She has her Y/h/c hair up in a top knot and black fuzzy socks on her feet. She was watching The Big Bang Theory on the giant tv in the lounge.

She was relaxing, when a tuxedo clad Steve Rogers came rushing out of the lift. She looked up as he rushed past her with a pair of black dress shoes in his hands. 

Y/n whisted, “Why do you look like a blonde double o’ seven?” She questioned, pausing her show and standing up. Steve tries to put on his shoes but ends up falling flat on his face, he rolls onto his back and looks up at her. “Steve, why’re you in such a hurry?” She asked, helping him back onto his feet.

“You know Destiny?” He questioned, oh Y/n knows Destiny. She hates her, because the day Y/n had the courage to tell Steve how she felt about him, was the same day Steve introduced Destiny, his girlfriend, to the team.

“Yeah I know her.” She nodded, and then clenched her jaw shut, so she didn’t say anything she’ll regret.

“Well tonight I have a date and I think tonight… might be the night.” Steve shrugged, and a blush dusted his cheeks.

“Tonight might be the night for wha-” She started to ask, but it clicked with her and her eyes widened. “Steve are you a virgin?” She asked.

“What?! No, no…” He trailed off, and Y/n suppressed her smirk and took his shoes from him. She helped him with his shoes and then stood back up. He looked at her faded dark blue t-shirt. “Is that my shirt?”

“You should know by now that I steal your clothes all the time, Steven.” She shrugged, and patted him on the shoulder and walked to the couch and leaned on the back. She crossed her arms and looked up at him. The look on his face was nervous and he was playing with his fingers. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged, and nervously chuckled.

“Really? ‘Cause it looks like you’re about to sweat through your suit.” She said, and he sighed and dropped his defensive facade.

“Fine! I’m nervous that I’m not ready to cross that line.” He explained, and Y/n cocked her head to the side.

“If you’re not ready. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“But I feel like it is and I don’t know how she is going to react if I’m not ready.” Steve rambled, and she placed her hands on his arms, and he looked at her in the eyes.

“Steve, if she really loves you then that shouldn’t matter.” She said, and he let out a breath of relief.

“I wish that all women were like you.” He sighed, and she chuckled.

“Well they aren’t, unfortunately. But you’re going to be late.” She said, and he quickly placed a kiss on her cheek and grabbed his keys and wallet. “Bye!” She yelled, and Steve waved before slipping out the door. Y/n sighed and plopped back onto the couch with her blankets and pillows. “Good job, Y/n. You love him and yet you let him go.” She sighed, and buried her face in a pillow and screamed before taking a breath, then unpaused her show.

After a while she fell asleep in the sea of blankets and pillows. She woke up to the sound of the door open and shut. She jolted awake and looked at the mystery man in the kitchen, but she could see it was Steve. He saw that she was awake and paused in his tracks.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He questioned, as Y/n got up and walked into the kitchen behind the lounge. She grabbed a bottle of beer and popped the cap off.

“Yeah. But I needed to get up anyway.” She shrugged, then took a long sip of beer and then looked Steve up and down. “Your tie is still around your neck. So I’m guessing it didn’t happen.”

“No. I wasn’t ready, but she was and then when I told her I wasn’t… she broke up with me.”

“I’m sorry, Stevie.” She said sympathetically. “Wanna stay up late watching crappy tv?” She offered, walking back over to the couch.

“Sure.” He shrugged, and plopped down next to her. She leaned over and grabbed the remote, and her shirt rode up and Steve saw the back of her Y/f/c lace bralette, he blushed and quickly looked away. She leaned back and sank into the pillows.

“Alright what’d you wanna watch? Big Bang Theory? Game of Thrones? Supernatural?” She questioned, and Steve looked over the tv screen.

“What about Friends?” He shrugged, and she nodded.

“Sounds good.” She said, and played it and leaned back against the couch. After it started, Y/n realised that it was the episode, where Ross came back from China with Julie and Rachel was jealous, and Y/n can’t help but feel like she was in the same thing. The episode ended and Y/n was quick to pause the tv before another one could come on. Steve looked at her confused.

“Why’d you pause the show?” He questioned, and she turned to look at him.

“Why didn’t you go through with Destiny?” She asked, and he looked a little taken back by her question.

“Why do you ask?”

“I mean you can get any woman you want by just stepping outside. Most women are practically in love with you. I mean I’m in love with you-” She stopped her sentence, in realization of what she just confessed.

“Y-you love me?” He questioned, but Y/n didn’t answer, she just dashed down the hall to the stair and took them two at a time. She got to her floor and ran into her room.

She paced the room waiting for Steve to come knocking. “God damnit, Y/n! You take one look at that man and practically fall apart! Now you just confessed your love to him, right after a break up! Stupid, stupid, stupid!” She exclaimed, and then someone cleared their throat from behind her. She froze not exactly knowing what to do.

“I don’t think it’s that stupid.” Steve said, from where he stood at her doorway. Tears filled her eyes as she slowly turned around. She laughed a watery laugh and sat at the edge of her bed.

“Yeah, well I think it’s stupid that a man like you would ever look at me the way you looked at Destiny.” She explained, and he sat next to her.

“Why would you say that?” He asked her sympathetically, and looked at her with big puppy dog eyes.

“Because, I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough, good enough for a man like you.” She whispered, and Steve looked at her with confusion and a little bit of pity. She looked at him and saw the pity so she jumped up and started pacing the room again. “No! Don’t look at me like that!”

“Look at you like what?”

“With pity! I don’t want to be pitied.” She sighed, and he stood up and took her hands in his, so she’d stop pacing.

“I don’t pity you. And as far as I’m concerned, you are the most beautiful dame I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Steve said, she looked up at him as tears fell down her face.

“Then why don’t show it?” Y/n questioned, as her voice cracked. He decided instead of words he would show her, so he placed his hands on her face and leaned down and kissed her. She froze for a moment not really knowing what to do, but then she came back to reality. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He pulled her up by the backs of her thighs. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He laid her down on the bed and hovered over her without removing his lips from hers. He then pulled back and looked down at her.

“I don’t show it, because I was too scared to.” Steve said, and she placed her hands on his face, so he would look at her.

“Well, don’t get scared now. Because I want you, and by the bulge in your pants I think you want the same.” Y/n whispered, and he leaned down and kissed her hard. She untied his tie, then pushed his suit jacket off. She took her hair down and it flowed around her face, like a halo. She reconnected their lips as she unbuttoned his dress shirt. “Too… many… clothes…” She said, through kisses. He quickly stood up and took off everything except his boxers. He stood back and watched. As she sat up and took off her shirt, then her socks, and finally her sweatpants, leaving her in matching lace panties and bralette.

“You’re so beautiful, doll.” Steve said, and climbed on top of her. He kissed and sucked down her jaw, to her neck, collarbone, then finally to her chest, leaving little red marks in his wake. Before Y/n knew it her bra was gone, and Steve had taken one of her breasts in his mouth.

“Ohh… Steve.” Y/n moaned, as he nipped and sucked on one breast before switching to the other. He kissed down her stomach to the hemline of her panties. “Are you sure about this?” She questioned, and he looked up at her.

“Of course. I love you and I want to show you.” He said, and she smiled and pulled him up for a heated kiss.

“I love you too, Steve.” She whispered, and he again kissed down her stomach to her panties. He hooked his fingers under the hemline then slowly pulled them down. The cool air hit her already soaked pussy, and she mewled out. He smirked and gently spread her legs. He groaned at the sight of her completely exposed to him. He used his fingers to spread her folds, before he dived in. He thrusted his tongue into her wet channel. She moaned and mewled out as he sucked on her clit. He plunged two thick fingers into her. He curled and thrusted them in and out of her pussy. “Ohh… Steve, how are you so good at this?!” She exclaimed, as he slammed three fingers into her.

“Tony sent me a lot of porn, when I first started dating Destiny.” Steve explained, and Y/n rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“That sounds like him.” Y/n said, then he curled his fingers and they hit her g-spot and she arched her back. She cried out as her orgasm took her over. He continued to suck her clit and thrust his fingers, until she came down from her high. He took his fingers out and she took them and sucked them clean. He smirked and climbed over her and connected their lips. She rolled him over onto his back. She straddled his thighs, then pulled his boxers off. His hard member slapped his taut stomach. Y/n took in the size of his and practically drooled at the sight of him. She took Steve in hand and gave a few pumps, before taking the head of his cock in her mouth. She licked the slit, tasting the pre-cum already dripping down his shaft. She slid her mouth down his shaft, until he hit the back of her throat.

“Ohh… Y/n!” Steve groaned out, as she swallowed around him. She hollowed out her cheeks and gently sucked. He moaned and thrusted his hips up, so that his cock moved farther down her throat. Steve pulled her up, then rolled them over, so he was on top. He kissed her fiercely, as he lined up and started to push into her. She had to break away from the kiss, so she could cry out, as he bottomed out. “Oh. You’re so tight, doll.”

“Move. Please, Stevie.” Y/n whined, and he started thrusting in and out of her slowly trying not to hurt her, but she wanted more. “I’m not going to break. Please fuck me. Hard!”

“Whatever you want, babydoll.” He whispered into her ear, then started thrusting hard and fast into her. She cried out and arched her back, he used this new position and took one of her nipples in his mouth. He sucked and nipped on her breasts, leaving hickeys and red marks all over her chest. He kept thrusting hard and fast into her wanting pussy.

“Oh, fuck! I’m gonna cum!” Y/n yelled, and he brought a hand down and started rubbing tight circles on her clit. His cock hit her g-spot over and over again, and that set her off. Her thighs shook as she started squirting all over his cock and chest. Steve groaned at the sight of her squirting all over him. He pulled out quickly and came in spurts of hot, white cum. The cum covered her stomach, pussy, and breasts. He slumped over her without crushing her. After a few minutes of resting, Steve got up and walked to her bathroom, and grabbed a washcloth. He soaked it with some water, then came back in to see Y/n tangled in her white sheets, his cum covering her body, her hair a mess around her head, her eyes closed in peer bliss, and a lovestruck smile across her face. If Steve could take a photo of this he would, she was just so beautiful in his eyes. He walked over to the bed and gently cleaned the cum off of her body, then threw the washcloth in the laundry hamper. He climbed into bed with her, and she immediately cuddled up to his chest.

“I love you, Y/n.” Steve whispered to her, thinking that she was asleep until he heard her voice.

“I love you too, Steve.” Y/n whispered back, then closed her eyes and cuddled closer into his chest. He wrapped both arms around her, and hugged her closely to himself, silently promising never to let her go.

[imagine-organization-xiii]

If i may ask; can i please have how the org 13 members act around their crush? Thank you in advance ❤️

Masterlist - Incorrect Organization XIII - Tip Jar!

You might also like: when they realize they’re in love with s/o

This was a long-ish one that’s been sitting in the back of my drafts forever lmao - I hope you all enjoy, especially since it’s a bit of long read!

Special thanks to Miss Silverspoon, PhantomMuze, and Sam for helping with Luxord, Saix, and Vexen. Such babes.

-

Xemnas - Least likely to actually show it. I mean, there will be signs, but it won’t be blatant that he’s acting a certain way because he’s attracted to you. There might be some favoritism (giving you better missions, not scolding you when something goes wrong, looking the other way in certain situations.)

Overall, it’s going to be subtle. You definitely won’t pick up anything weird, but the other org members might. Saix will definitely be the one to come up to you, grab you by the shoulders and give you a good shake. “Please, he’s driving the rest of us crazy.” And you’re like “what the hell???” Saix: “Xemnas has been giving you the best missions and staring at you for five minute intervals. In his language, that means he’s practically a wanton hussy.”

Xigbar - Not ashamed in the slightest. He won’t even act any different. He finds you attractive, you find him attractive (Xigbar: “Everyone finds me attractive, obviously.”) So why bother wasting time?  He doesn’t really call it a crush, though. He thinks crushes are for children and he’s a man, god damn it, he doesn’t have crushes.

An unintentional sap. Before he plucks up the courage to say something to you - and it takes him longer than he will ever admit - he finds himself going soft for you. Thinks you’re pretty, instead of hot; wants to hold your hand instead of slam you against the wall. It’s a bit infuriating to him at first, but also maybe kind of worth it.

Xaldin - Ohhhh, man. He’s been in love before; he’s been hurt before. So he is ready to rein in that shit immediately. But it’s so difficult because he likes you so much and you’re so awesome. He’ll decide to give it a chance eventually, but it will take some time. He would definitely be content with just being friends, though, because he really doesn’t want to ruin what the two of you already have.

He makes sure to always be there for you. Always helps you when you need it. A gentleman in the ways that matter and a feisty, flirtatious beast in the ways that don’t. The type of guy to flirt by making sure that he takes his shirt off after a sweaty workout and casually flexes/stretches when he knows you’re watching but also makes sure you’re hydrated and wrapping your fists correctly when you spar.

Vexen - You’ll probably know about his crush before he does. He’s so absorbed in whatever his task is - his experiments, his theories, etc. - that he doesn’t even notice that his eyes linger on you and his posture automatically straightens when you walk into the lab. He’ll instinctively turn his body in your direction so that you’re almost always in his line of sight.

Doesn’t yell at you for walking into his lab when he’s obviously busy. Actually asks you for your input, likes talking to you and discussing his theories with you. You’re smart, but some of his experiments are beyond you, and he doesn’t mind explaining in simpler terms when you ask questions. It blows Zexion’s mind because he has a running tab on the different ways that Vexen throws people out of his lab and he’s never done it to you.

Lexaeus - not much for flirting. He’s come to terms with the fact that he likes you, but you’ve both known each other long enough that you know him, so there’s no way that he can pretend to act a certain way because you would know that something wasn’t right. It’s very difficult to tell that he has a crush on you - there’s no blushing, no flirting, no favoritism. He’s just his normal self.

When you finally figure it out, you realize that he showed his crush in subtle ways instead - offering a hand to pull you up after sparring, holding open a door for you, and apparently glaring at people who come up to flirt with you when he accompanies you to the market for groceries.

Zexion - “IT’S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING, GO AWAY.” This emo little bastard doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions. He lost his heart at a really bad time, when he was still growing into himself, learning balance between anger, frustration, patience, euphoria, etc. so he’s very unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the idea that he likes you.

There may be a few gentle shoves and punches in the shoulder. He has so many feelings and has no way to put them into the world other than violence - because that’s really all he knows nowadays. But it gets better!!! You learn together.

Saix - Honestly, God help you if Saix gets a crush on you because he really doesn’t make it easy. If anything, he’ll be making your life difficult. He overcompensates about not giving you any special treatment, giving you harder and more difficult tasks/missions, or your workload might remain the same but his expectations are almost impossibly high. He’s not only trying to prove himself to the others; he’s trying to prove to himself that he doesn’t care.

He’s more difficult to be around tbh, and yeah, he’ll definitely seek you out which is a pain in the ass when you’re trying to avoid him. You’ll have to be the one to barge into his office, slam open the door, and yell at him that he’s being an asshole. He’ll probably back off a bit, but.... he’s really only rough on you because he knows you’re capable of more.

Axel - Axel falls in love unapologetically. He’s head over heels almost immediately and not even ashamed of his crush on you. Flirting becomes almost a part of your friendship because he’s just that comfortable with you. His mood is already so bright when he’s around you, but now it’s like the sun and you can’t help but meet his smile with your own grin.

But it gets to be kind of weird on his end because... you don’t realize that he’s being serious when he flirts? So many pick up lines. So many compliments. But you’re just like “oh that same old Axel haha,” and he’s left banging his head against the wall because he likes you so much but you’re so oblivious.

Demyx - He won’t even notice that he has a crush on you tbh. It will take him forever to notice. He knows he’s attracted to you, but he’s attracted to a lot of people so he didn’t think that it would be any different! A crush?? In this economy??? But he’s grateful, you know? Because there really couldn’t be a better person for him to have a crush on - like he could have a crush on Xemnas, of all people, and that would just be disastrous.

Doesn’t act differently until he realizes he has a crush. When he does realize, he’ll get nervous and clumsy. Shouting from across the hall, “HEY LET ME GET THE DOOR FOR YOU” and runs, trips, and knocks out a tooth. Just completely ridiculous stuff. You kind of notice that he’s acting strange, but it’s just Demyx, and it will probably take Vexen going up to you and saying “please put him out of his misery before he accidentally kills himself trying to flirt with you”

Luxord - Luxord is so charming, more charming than he usually is. He always has this endearing aura around him, and man, he turns it up when he tries to flirt with you. A gift giver - small things, a dessert you might like, a flower he stole from Marluxia’s garden, lunch when you’re busy, etc. Very aware of how to approach you; also knows where to stop before he goes too far. Knows how to read you pretty well in that respect.

Loves the romance that comes with having a crush because there’s so much raw potential. Feelings are confusing, they take a while to grow, but the idea that something amazing can be coming in the future is a great feeling to him. Great potential hangout ideas that don’t necessarily have to be dates, but they help you both metaphorically test the waters about what a real relationship could be.

Marluxia - arguably the most romantic out of everyone. Surprisingly?? Also the most sensible. Of the mind that, you know, if you like someone then do something about it. He has a crush on you? Why not just give it a shot, then? He’ll bring you flowers! Accompany you when you go somewhere! Take you for garden walks! Take you out to dinner!

Somewhere along the line it just becomes a relationship and not just a crush and he’s like, yeah I did this. When everyone’s like “omg how did you get her to like you back” he’s just like “because I did something about it unlike all of you idiots.”

Larxene - Listen. Listen. Larxene is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need someone else in her life to make her feel loved and powerful but damn, you’re so awesome and she has the biggest crush on you even though all of her instincts say that she’s being dumb. Will ask you to spar with her as an excuse to get close to you and don’t be surprised if she’s extra harsh when sparring - she definitely won’t be pulling her punches.

When you get closer, she’ll open up to you in a way that she won’t open up to anyone else, which is a big, obvious flag for you that her feelings may be more than friendship. She doesn’t like talking about herself or her past, so hearing things she’s never told anyone (except maybe Marluxia), makes you feel really great about being her friend.

Roxas - Man, he is such a cute little marshmallow, not shy in general but shy around his crush. He’ll do his hardest not to blush around you, but he does get nervous. So nervous, in fact, that he might make you think he doesn’t like you because he’ll tend to avoid you when he can. He doesn’t want to look stupid in front of you.

This baby feels things deeply, despite the lack of a heart. He always has felt things more deeply than others. Likes physical contact so when he gets over his fears of being around you, he’ll probably end up asking to hold your hand, randomly hugging you, giving high fives, etc.

Xion - Only really falls for people that she’s already friends with, because she knows them and she’s comfortable with them. It’s subtle for her, though. She’ll realize her crush one night and suddenly she can’t even speak to you without blushing, cheeks a bright pink against her pale skin. She’ll stutter, too, and she hates that’s she’s so nervous for no reason because you’re friends!!! And she has no reason to be nervous!!!

She’s also so helpful when she has a crush! Like Demyx, she’s eager to help you with whatever you’re doing, whether that’s mission reports, cooking, cleaning, etc. Unlike Demyx, she actually gets the job done and doesn’t get injured when trying to help. You’re always so grateful and thankful and that just makes her blush even more.

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

I'll be making this into a long fic, but for now I chose to keep it short. Hermitcraft x Dream SMP crossover

Title: button

Grian sat down at the oak wood table, brow furrowed. Another day, another failed attempt to reconnect to Hermitcraft. The strange glitch that had caused the border to fall in the first place must have been repaired, for the world border was back up and running. His communicator didn’t work outside of his home server, and Phil’s crows (who insisted on following the man everywhere, and who Phil had put up to the task of flying between the severs, trying to gather intel on the border glitch and if people were trying to find him) haven’t delivered any news. 

    The builder glanced out the window as the sun set over the horizon. Past that was Hermitcraft. His home. What was Mumbo doing? Scar? Iskall? Xisuma? How was the war progressing without him? Did anyone notice his absence? No, Grian, don’t get sad. Happy thoughts only...Happy thoughts. 

    “Grain!” 

    Torn away from his thoughts, Grian looked up to see Philza, his dark grey wings fluffed up in distress. “Wil’s sent a letter.” The avian said, holding up a piece of paper. 

    “Well, that’s good!” Phil had been under extreme stress these past couple of days since Wilbur hadn’t sent a letter in weeks and the past few he had sent were...concerning, to say the least. “What’s it say?” 

    Another letter should have been a relief, but from the look on Phil’s face, Grian concluded that this letter was everything except relief.

    “It’s just a date, time, and coordinates. November 16th, noon, with a set of coords in L’Manberg…” Phil’s voice trailed off as his dark emerald eyes scanned the page, over and over, as if he were looking for more writing than just a simple date. 

    “That’s tomorrow, innit?” Grian questioned, trying to distract the man from his distress. That’s how Grian ignored his. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. “I mean, you’ll be able to see your sons, check up on Wil?” 

    “Something doesn’t feel right about this, Grain.” Even after all this time together, Phil still called him Grain. Grian stifled a laugh, as it wasn’t the appropriate time to giggle. “His last few letters concerned me. He mentioned something in his last one about 11 and a half stacks of TNT.” Phil looked Grian dead in the eye and whispered, “Grain, I think Wilbur is going to blow L’Manberg!” 

    “But why?” Grian attempted to rationalize with the distraught Phil, who was now pacing across the room making stressed-out bird noises. “He won the election, shouldn’t he be content with that?” This type of stuff never happened on Hermitcraft. There were never serious talks of blowing up anyone’s builds, much less an entire country! The only time TNT is used is in pranks, and they always helped clean up after. 

    “You clearly don’t know Wilbur...He’s a force of chaos, I’ll tell you that. A creative little shit who always comes up with new ways to get what he wants. If he wants L’Manberg gone, then he’ll go to crazy lengths to achieve that goal.”

    Silence fell. 

    “We need to get to L’Manberg. Now. It’s about a day’s flight from here, and we need to leave now if we want to get there as fast as fucking possible.” Phil tucked the letter into the pocket of his dark green kimono and flexed his wings. Unlike Grian, who used the sleek and slim elytra to fly about, Philza had a pair of actual feathery wings. Upon arrival, Phil explained that he was a bird hybrid, also known as an avian. He had feathers on the sides of his face and neck with elfish ears. Back on Hermitcraft, every member of the server was human. 

Grian and Phil started out on their journey north, towards the world border of Dream SMP. The sun had risen, and the world border was in sight. Phil stated that Dream, the apparent Admin of the server, had agreed to let up the border for a few seconds to let Phil and Grian inside. Phil took a rest on a tree, breathing heavily after hours of non-stop flight.  

“You alright, Big P?” If Phil could nickname him Grain, Grian would nickname him as well. A smile twinged across Phil’s face. 

“Ahh...You sound so much like my youngest, Tommy. He says that to people too. You remind me of him so much. Right down to your red shirt and the aura of pure, unbridled chaos you emit.” 

Both men laughed. Grian really enjoyed Phil’s laugh, and despite how giggly and giddy the avian usually was, it had been a few days since he had last heard him laugh. Wilbur’s lack of letters had really spooked him. 

“Will you stay?” 

“Hmm?” 

“In L’Manberg. I mean, it’s closer to your sons.” 

Phil shrugged and drank a potion of strength, and stood. 

“I might, depending on what happens. If my theory is correct, and Wilbur is going to blow the place up, then I’ll probably stay. Just to help him out and help clean up y’know? Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to come home. Before you got here, I was...really lonely.” 

“Well, you won’t be lonely anymore! Since I can’t return home yet, I’ll be your friend so you don’t have to be lonely!” 

“Thanks, Grain.” 

“You’re welcome, Big P!” 

The two rose and started to fly towards the world border. Maybe Grian could make a new home on Dream SMP. The builder already started making plans for an epic build, having a vague idea in his head. However, he would have to inspect the landscapes available to see what his block palette would be and what style his build would be. Grian thought of his mansion back home and wanted to build something similar to remember it. 

“Oi! Grain! You there mate?” 

Grian shook his head as he was, again, dragged from his daydreams by Phil. They had arrived at the world border. “I’ve sent word to Dream, he should be letting us in soon.” 

“Alrighty! What kind of base do you want to build if you stay?”

    Phil just shrugged. “Eh. Don’t know just yet. Don’t want to start anything too ambitious, like a Hardcore project.” 

Grian kept forgetting that this man held the world record for the longest Hardcore run. Phil was only 5”4 and didn’t look that intimidating. He looked loving and fatherly, and Grian considered Phil to be like a father to him. But the man was a dedicated Hardcore player, and could easily take Grian down in a fight. It scared him, sometimes, about how little he actually knew about Phil. 

“Alright, mate, let’s go.” The blue striped border had been removed by the mysterious admin, and the two flew into Dream SMP. Grian felt a buzz from his communicator and pulled it from his pocket. 

<Grian joined the game>  

<Ph1LzA joined the game> 

Unlike in Hermitcraft, when a member joins the server (especially a new member), the entire chat would be flooded with ‘hello!’ messages. However, on the Dream SMP, there were one or two directed at Phil. How peculiar. Phil went silent as they flew over the woods and forest. In the distance, Grian could see what appeared to be a city. That must be L’Manberg. It wasn’t as big or as grand as some builds on Hermitcraft, heck his own base would have taken up over half of the area if he lived there. On a tall pole lay what Grian assumed was the flag of L’Manberg, inky black, with a fiery red arch and X. Interesting design. Phil didn’t go into the city, however, he flew towards the coordinates that Wilbur had written in his letter, his brow furrowed. Fireworks crackled and popped throughout L’Manberg. 

Grian landed with Phil, in front of a small tunnel that bore deep into a hill that was just outside the country. 

“It’s now or never. Grain, stay behind me.” Phil tucked the letter away and led Grian through the tunnel, and into a compact stone room. Carved into the wall were words. No, not just words. Lyrics. 

I heard there was a special place, 

where men could go and emancipate. 

From the brutality and tyranny of their rulers. 

Well, this place was real, you needn’t fret, 

With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, fuck Eret. 

It’s a very big place, not blown up L’Manberg. 

MY L’MANBERG

MY L’MANBERG

MY L’MANBERG…

Those lyrics were carved all over the stone walls, and in the middle, was a stone button. In front of that button, was Philza’s eldest son, Wilbur. 

Grian had never actually seen Wilbur before, only in an old picture of when Phil, Wilbur, and Phil’s other two sons, Tommy and Technoblade, won MCC 4. In that picture, Wilbur wore a cute yellow sweater with a brown beanie, with a shimmering smile on his face. 

The man that stood before them now was not that person. It couldn’t be. Wilbur stood, hunched over a stone button, whispering to himself. He donned a brown trenchcoat and ditched the beanie. 

“What are you doing?” Phil asked.

Wilbur turned to face them. His eyes had no emotion in them, his smile no longer shimmered. Standing before them was an insane man. 

“I will admit,” Wilbur said. His voice sent a chill down Grian’s spine, “Do you know what this is? What this button is?” Phil’s speculations appeared to be true. Wilbur was trying to destroy L’Manberg. 

“Uh huh. I do.” How, how could Phil be so calm? 

“Have you heard the song? The song on the walls?” Wilbur’s fingers gently ran over the words ‘MY L’MANBERG’. His eye twitched, “I was just making a big point you know? About how there was a special place, it was a special place. But that's not there anymore.” Wil’s voice lowered to a hush. 

“It is there, Wil, it's out there.” 

“PHIL I’M ALWAYS SO CLOSE TO PRESSING THIS BUTTON! I’VE BEEN HERE LIKE SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES--” Voices from above cut Wilbur off. Grian could hear footsteps above them. Wilbur turned his eyes to the stone ceiling and lowered his voice. “Oh they're going to come…I need to block this off.” Wilbur hastily piled blackstone bricks in the doorway, which not only sealed whoever “they” were out, but also sealed Grian, Phil, and Wilbur in.

“Oh Phil...I’ve been here so many times.” 

Numerous fireworks exploded outside. 

<Tubbo_ went off with a bang due to a firework fired from [Rocket Launcher] by Technoblade> 

“Oh they’re fighting, they’re fighting…” WIlbur whispered, sounding tired. 

“And you just want to...to blow it all up? You fought so hard for this land, Wilbur, and you just want to...destroy it all?” Phil tried to reason.

“I don’t even know if the button works anymore, Phil, I could press it, and it might--”

“Do you want to risk it? There is a lot of TNT potentially connected to that button.” 

Wilbur seemed to hear him. His breathing got heavier as he returned to that hunched over position over the stone button. What was this place? Nothing serious ever happened on Hermitcraft. There were no seriously high stakes, there were no serious threats, no serious danger. It was all in good fun. 

“There...there was a saying, Phil...by, uh, by a traitor. Once part of L’Manberg, don’t know if you ever heard of Eret, but he had a saying.” 

Wilbur looked up at Phil. Grian could see the familiar resemblance between the two, they shared emerald green eyes. 

“It was never meant to be.” Wilbur whispered that phrase, and pressed the stone button. 

[charcubed]

They’re not doing anything to deny the possibility (that at this point is just becoming bigger and bigger with each episode) that Bucky was (still is) in love with Steve and honestly I don’t know how to feel about this...... Will I be happy if they subtly confirm Bucky has been in love with Steve all along? Of course I will. Will I combust and then perish if it’s also hinted that Bucky’s love for Steve was unrequited? Without a sliver of doubt.

Different anon: My only fear is that they’re leading us on to make us think that they might confirm that Bucky loved Steve romantically and then make Bucky become Straight™️ all of a sudden at the end of the series I HAVE ONE (1) FEAR

Another different anon: I was wondering what if someone discussing bucky's patriotism tells him something along the lines of "you've literally sacrificed your life for your country" and he goes "I didn't do it for my country" I think I would leave this plane of existence

I’m combining y’all because I don’t want to run the risk of repeating myself across multiple posts lmao. Hope that’s cool!

ALL OF THIS IS A FUCKING MOOD

Listen... listen. Firstly, patriotism anon: not even fucking with you when I say I’m half expecting something like that. Except I almost feel like it isn’t subtle enough? Then again, this is the show that just gave us “Mr. America” as a line, so maybe I should stop assuming subtlety is the only name of the game here. Regardless, love that concept, big brained content, 10/10.

The other two of you: I, too, have fears. I just simply try to not dwell on the fears in this house, because if I’m gonna have a sliver of ill-advised optimism, then I’m gonna ride that wave to the bank. Like I might as well have fun as long as I can, right? Keeping the energy.

That being said: stop reading now if you don’t want Fears talk because for you, I will go into it. I have already previously given these concepts much thought because of who I am as a person.

Hinting that Bucky’s love is unrequited: honestly... that’s what I’ve been expecting for 2+ years already. Mostly because, like, here’s the logic: if we are to believe Steve’s ending with Peggy is legitimate as seen on the surface in Endgame, we are then to supposedly believe he was not in love with Bucky Barnes. (Haha.) So by default, then, a reveal of Bucky’s feelings that is not followed by a reveal that Steve is trapped / never meant to leave at the end of Endgame implies that Bucky’s feelings must be unrequited. However! I intend to argue otherwise regardless, because the mutual use of “till the end of the line” implied reciprocity as far as I’m concerned. So if they reveal Bucky loved him, the reciprocal love is all but confirmed, bitches. (Side note: Steve loving Bucky is of course not the only reason I have conspiracy theories about a reveal about Steve’s whereabouts, by far, but it’s also always a relevant factor.)

Regarding the idea of a reveal of Bucky's feelings and then him being Straight™ at the end of the show: before someone comes for your ass or my ass and claims this is ~bisexual erasure,~ I would like to state that people would have the right to be upset with that, considering the wider context and the wider implications a move like that in media would have. It would be “Bucky was in love with Steve, but now that we’ve sort of addressed that, he never needs to be visibly queer on screen again! All is well! Haha look at him dating a woman. He’s bi though!” Media does not exist in a vacuum, etc. etc., people could rightfully get pissed about that. They could have him go on a date with a man though. That would be both bold and interesting. Objectively, would I rejoice for what that rep means? Well, sure. Subjectively? I DON’T WANT THAT. LOL. Like... if I have to see him start to try to “move on” after a reveal that he loves Steve... I will wither away. Especially if it’s with a woman because it adds insult to injury. Like if they circle back around to him going on another date with Leah in the end after that reveal, I will cry. I mean, on the one hand... if Steve isn’t coming back, will Bucky need to heal from that? Objectively, sure. But on the other hand: fuck that noise. Only way I’ll accept seeing Bucky go on a tentative “moving on” date so soon is if it’s immediately followed by an end credit scene teasing Steve’s eventual return. For the pure angst potential in that shit. [bangs gavel]

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Summary: Sometimes when he sleeps, Dean sees flashes of other Dean Winchesters, in other universes. His dreams lately have been filled with himself in a thousand forms, a thousand different versions of what could have been. Dean likes to think that they’re made of the same star stuff, but whatever the cause, he feels the connection. 

Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst. 

Author’s Note: Inspired by Traffic’s “Dear Mr. Fantasy” and the header image; prompt given by @thoughtslikeaminefield​. Love you. @cabin-fever-bang​ prompt fill. So many thanks to @cracksinthewalls​ and @there-must-be-a-lock​ for exceptional editing and motivation. Also love both of you.

Word Count: 2157

ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Sometimes when he sleeps, Dean sees flashes of other Dean Winchesters, in other universes. His dreams lately have been filled with himself in a thousand forms, a thousand different versions of what could have been. Dean likes to think that they’re made of the same star stuff, but whatever the cause, he feels the connection. 

Some have been vastly different (he spent an entire day lost in thought about a female version of himself who was apparently a rodeo queen by day and monster hunter by night). 

Some are so similar that the lines between his actual self and the other blur to the point of confusion; is he dreaming about himself or a different Dean who made one different choice twenty years ago?

He can always tell the difference, eventually. A scar in the wrong place, an absent friend or loved one still around or maybe someone gone who shouldn’t be. In one universe, someone neglected Baby (couldn’t have been Dean, had to’ve been Sam) to the point where she pulls slightly to the left. 

Dean spends the morning after that dream with a muscle tick in his cheek and a suspicious, side-eyed glare for Sam that he never bothers to explain.

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams. 

Unsurprisingly, his favorite alternate world has no monsters. It’s not that he isn’t aware of monsters in this dimension, that he doesn’t hunt them. No, in this other world, there’s no magic, no terrifying creatures of the night at all. He can feel the lightness of this world, steadiness that comes with not having to worry about whether a vampire is going to make this evening walk your last or a wendigo is going to join you on your camping trip.

Dean has a theory that this world was a test world, one where Chuck decided to just let things evolve as they would with very little interference. Humanity still has its issues: war, plague, famine, politics, streaming services that have lived long enough to become the villain. 

But no monsters.

Chuck has left this world more or less alone, and Dean is pretty sure he knows why. In God’s eyes, a world without monsters is stale. This alternate world is a world without supernatural conflict, without apocalypse-level struggle, without life and death and good and evil and all that high-stakes, cursed-destiny crap Chuck literally eats for breakfast.

Boring. This world is a snoozefest for Chuck, and Dean’s okay with that.

In fact, he loves it.

He’s been rooting for this world for a while now. He still dreams of it sometimes, so he knows somewhere deep inside that it’s still around. He knows all the worlds will be destroyed eventually, wiped away by Chuck’s callous cruelty. But this one…

Dean’s not the sentimental type, not really, but if he could send it a greeting card, it’d be that cat from years ago on the motivational poster, clawing onto a tree branch.

Hang in there, baby.

He must have done something right for once, because he drifts off and finds himself back there again. He’s a little older in this universe, and he suspects his other self is in denial about beginning to need glasses. A shame, too. A mechanic’s gotta be able to see what he’s doing, and the eyestrain headaches his other self suffers every night would probably clear up completely if he’d just go get his eyes checked.

But they both know he won’t. 

He sees better with his hands than his eyes these days. At forty-eight years old (none of that years young bullshit, either; he’s old, and he’s goddamn earned it), he’s spent his entire life in a garage working on one motor or another, same as his dad before him, and so on. 

It’s honest work, clean despite the grease, and Dean himself has used his own money to help put at least a couple of generations of little Winchesters through college or wherever their hearts took them, starting back with his brother. Dean and his dad both feel pride over Dr. Winchester, the history professor. Might not make as much as a mechanic, but he’s happy and settled, and really, what man could ask for more?

The best part of this Dean’s day, the best part of his whole life, is her. He’s known her for nearly three decades and loved her just as long. 

He was a twenty-year-old punk, learning his way through the art of motorcycles. He’d spent his life so far working on muscle cars, something he would never completely tire of, but now he was in absolute heaven. Dad’s buddy Danny Elkins had agreed to take Dean on, and Dean had taken to bikes like it was meant to be. 

Four months into his new life, Danny’s daughter brought her dad lunch, and, for the first time in his life, Dean wondered whether there might actually be a woman who could pull his attention from an engine for longer than a night or two. 

It was more or less instant attraction for the both of them, kinda like the movies that she loved to watch. Unlike those movies, however, there was no disapproving father to contend with or prove himself to.

“She’s a big girl and can crack your skull just as good as me,” he’d told Dean. “Pretty sure she’s settled on ya, so just make sure you’re worth it.”

So that’s what Dean did. 

Tonight’s dream finds the older Dean alone in the garage, and the sun is at the tail end of setting. Splashes of indigo and orange paint the horizon, framing her approach in a wash of colors blending into shadows that hold no danger.

“Figured you’d forget dinner tonight, what with your new toy. Thought we could share, and you could show me what you’ve been up to.” 

She doesn’t really care about the bikes, the cars, any of it. She only cares that it matters to him, and whatever keeps him running is something she wants to be a part of.

Surrounded by motorcycles in various states of repair and assembly, they speak quietly of their day, sharing the tiny details and separate moments that make up their simple life. She feeds him a bit of meatloaf with her fingers, and he eagerly returns the favor by sucking a smear of mashed potatoes from the corner of her mouth.

She sets the dinner containers aside, twisting to the side to reach for the apple cobbler she made yesterday, when he realizes he can’t stand even that bit of separation between. He’s been without her all day; that’s too much to ask of any man.

“C’mere,” he says.

Dessert forgotten, she settles astride his lap, arms linked around his neck, smiling that serene combination of lips and eyes and cheekbones that makes his heart twist and his groin swell same as the first time she turned them on him thirty-odd years ago. 

They’ve sat like this a thousand times, and he prays silently he’ll get at least a thousand more. When they were kids, crazy and hungry for every experience, she’d come into the garage in her little tank top, her tiny shorts showing off her new ink, heels fit to kill someone (how she never broke an ankle has always been a mystery and a miracle, in both Deans’ opinions).

She scrubs a thumb over his bearded jawline, humming deep in her chest. She’s swapped the tiny skirts for jeans, although he thanks his lucky stars every day that fashions have moved from bootcut back to skinny. Harder to get off quick, but damn does he love the lines of her legs in ‘em.

They press foreheads together as an old Traffic song plays over the radio, swaying gently, always in sync. 

“Dear Mr. Fantasy, play us a tune,” he half-whispers, half-sings, breath warm on her cool cheek.

“Something to make us all happy,” she answers in kind, eye closed. She slides her nose alongside his, runs her chin over his wiry beard, smiles into his kiss as it buffs her face red. 

Perhaps in remembrance of their long-past youth, she’s chosen her smallest tank-top, one she’d normally never wear without at least a button-up over it, and he drops his head to rub his cheeks over the bare skin over her collarbone. Her legs link behind his back, anchoring her as she leans back to allow him more access. 

God, what she can still do to him. The salt of her skin, the fragrance of her perfume that he picked out for her on their first anniversary that she’s worn religiously ever since, the silk of her hair that he tangles between fingers that still tremble with eager nerves.

Older Dean and worn-out, monster-plagued Dean sigh together, content down to their bones. This life is it for both of them. She is it. One Dean still can’t believe his amazing luck after all these years, and the other aches at the simple, total happiness he feels honored to witness.

“Dean.”

The older man runs a reverent hand down his wife’s arm, twining his fingers with hers. He kisses her knuckles, a few more crinkles lining his eyes as he smiles.

“Dean, wake up.”

The scene before him begins to fade as she takes his face between her hands, kisses his temples, the spot between his eyes, the corner of his mouth. For just a second, this Dean (the “real” Dean, as Chuck put it) feels those kisses, looks deep into her eyes and feels that warmth and light that she brings to the other man’s life. 

I love you, she whispers, and he allows himself to believe for one moment that she’s talking directly to him.

“Dean, come on, Cas has a lead.” Sam’s voice finally breaks the dream wide open, and Dean reluctantly opens his eyes. “We gotta go check it out. Get dressed.”

“Yeah.”

He sits up slowly, feeling each of his forty-one years with an ache that no longer surprises him. He swings his legs over the side of his bed, rests his elbows on his knees, and drops his face in his hands. If he concentrates hard enough, he can still feel her phantom caress, her thumb against his cheekbone, her lips on the corner of his.

I love you.

Dean scrubs at his face with hands that get a little older and a little more scarred every day. Warrior’s hands, a testament to his hunts and battles. If he squints a little (maybe he needs an eye exam, too) he can imagine they’re different sorts of scars: burns from hot engines, cuts and scrapes from tools and every-day hard work rather than knives and punches. 

He inhales, gathering strength, putting on his mental armor piece by piece. A knight, riding off to save the world from the devouring dragon. He reaches over and grabs his jeans, sliding them on and standing in a smooth motion that is accompanied by only one or two pops and cracks.

I love you.

Dean doesn’t know how this is all going to end. He knows how he won’t let it end: him against Sammy, to the death and all that biblical Cain and Abel crap. But beyond that, he’s going to fight to save his brother, all of his little patchwork family, because they’re all he has in this world. 

He wonders briefly if his other self’s wife exists in this world, or if she’s just an anomaly, a one-time figment of Chuck’s imagination. He’s pretty sure it’s the latter; a man can only get that lucky once in a thousand lifetimes, and that other Dean is that one in a thousand.

This Dean could search a lifetime and never find her. She’s already been found, and maybe, just maybe if he and Sam can get their act together and bring the final beatdown on Chuck in enough time, he can save her. He can’t have her, but he could save her world, leave her safe and happy with his other self.

“Let it be enough,” he says aloud, not sure if he’s coaxing himself or the universe. He says it again, one more time for luck. 

It has to be enough.

…

“Dear Mr. Fantasy” by Traffic

Dear Mister Fantasy, play us a tune,  Something to make us all happy. Do anything, take us out of this gloom.  Sing a song, play guitar,  Make it snappy.  You are the one who can make us all laugh,  But doing that you break out in tears.  Please don't be sad if it was a straight mind you had.  We wouldn't have known you all these years.

[purplesurveys]

1273

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for?  Maybe for half an hour? Mine are never that bad.

What type of TV shows are your favourite?  Not a big TV show type of person to begin with since it seems as if my attention span wasn’t built for once-a-week, season-breaks kind of content haha. I do like sitcoms, I guess...bite-sized ones like Friends, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Big Bang Theory, etc. Drama shows I’d bite into if the plot is extremely intriguing to me or relevant to my interests, like The Crown or Breaking Bad.

Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything?  I was before then I wasn’t for a very long time, then I came back just recently with this BTS shit I got myself into.

Do you know anyone who has died in battle?  Hmm. I don’t think so. My great-grandpa lived a few more decades after the war.

When was the last time you went on an adventure?  July. My friends and I spent the whole day driving around and stopping by sooo many spots around the metro. It was a lot of fun and we were fucking b e a t after.

What brand is your vacuum cleaner?  I dunno. My mom mainly uses ours.

Are you good at rapping?  I have a number of songs and verses memorized that I can recite quite okay, but I can’t write any of my own.

Name one world issue that upsets you.  Racism.

How do you feel about tanning?  I never saw the the big deal. I will say tanning beds and salons are such a culture shock to me, though. Are some people really that obsessed with modifying their skin tone?

Have you ever given a public speech? Hmm, just the one time I was entered into a public speaking competition and was given a topic to talk about on the spot. That was honestly a lot of fun and I wish there were more opportunities to do that exact same thing.

Do you read comic books?  No. I tried getting into that whole thing, but didn’t see the appeal.

Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved?  Not always but if I’m starting to feel left out or awkward, I will start to ask a question here and there to ease my way into the conversation. But if the topic is clearly none of my business then I do stay out of the way.

Kiss with your eyes open or closed?  Closed.

Do you believe you can change someone?  This isn’t a black and white matter, I think. The idea of changing a person can have a lot of layers; in my org, for instance, I got to pick up a few quirks and behaviors from my friends just by being around them for a long time – in that sense, I changed. But you can also strive to change someone who’s struggling and try to make them become happy, which I tried to do with my ex – which of course I learned the hard way that you can’t change someone if in that context.

How did you react when your first pet died?  I was bummed out but didn’t throw a fit.

Have you ever drawn anime?  No.

Can you use a pogo stick?  I’ve never even seen one in real life. I’m dying to try it out just once.

When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like?  I don’t like anybodyyy.

Do you like bathing/showering?  I mean...yes? Like I’m not obsessed with showering, but it’s a necessity that I have to regularly do anyway lmao.

Have you ever considered entering a race?  Sure! Just give me a couple of weeks to practice because my endurance and stamina are embarrassing.

Rihanna or Lady Gaga?  Rihanna.

Who was your first good kiss with?  My ex.

What accessory do you want in your bedroom?  SHELVES

What do you take the most pictures of?  My experiences.

What are you always in the mood for?  Starbuuuuuuckssssssss.

What is something that you never turn down?  A day out with friends. I’ll always make time. What is something that you always turn down when offered?  Food, if I’m a guest at someone else’s place.

Name something sexy about your significant other.  I don’t have any.

What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up?  Surveys, I guess. I enjoy them too much and have been doing them for nearly a decade.

If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be?  Tennis.

If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be?  PIANO.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician?  Surgeon. I would be too terrified seeing dead people, anyway.

Have you ever been on a subway? Nope.

Are you in love?  No.

Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing?  Sure. Softly, roughly...both are fine hahaha.

Do you want to get married when you’re older?  I hope so. I want my turn, too.

What was the last band shirt you wore?  Eh, I don’t own any. I wore a fanmade V-themed shirt yesterday, if that counts.

You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose?  OMGGGG that sounds so fucking good rn. Chocolate chip cookie dough.

Have you ever given someone flowers?  Mhm, I used to give my ex bouquets whenever it was our anniversary.

What day of the week is usually your busiest day?  Monday like 98% of the time, so I hate them. It ultimately varies, though. Sometimes some days are a hell of a lot more hectic than others.

Do you have any concerts coming up? I mean...obviously not.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish?  Oh yessssssss. The smell of seafood/ocean always makes me fucking drool.

What’s your favorite brand of chips?  Pringles, or this local brand of salted egg chips that I love to get.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud?  Yeah, once. We had to write a poem as our homework and my teacher picked out a couple that he thought were the best-written, and one of them was mine even though I still firmly believe I did a shit job.

Do you like pineapple?  Oh god no. One of the worse fruits I’ve had.

Does your house have a dishwasher?  No. It seems to be just a Western thing.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?  I probably do, but I just can’t give you a lineup of names. Flower tattoos seem to be trendy these days, especially in the line style.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in?  So I have goodbye, paalam, 안녕히 가세요, adios, auf wiedersehen, sayonara, au revoir...so that’s 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies.  Ummmm definitely childish and I can feel that the humor tries so hard sometimes but I do enjoy some of his movies, like 50 First Dates. 

Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for?  Yeah, I mentioned this on a previous survey.

Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail?  No, I’ve never dated anyone who’s been imprisoned.

If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it?  I ‘babysat,’ but technically all eldest Asian daughters are expected to look out for their younger siblings and cousins anyway. I didn’t actively enjoy it, but sure, it was fun playing with them and it’s always nice to be viewed as responsible.

What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds?  I don’t eat sunflower seeds. I don’t dislike them, I just really never seek them out.

Do you get cold easily?  Yes.

Do you get a lot of spiders in your house?  Hmm no. If we do get visited they are almost always too small to be seen.

Do you admire nature?  Yeah, I try to be around it as often as I can.

Name one naughty thing you’ve done.  Had sex while a few people were in the same room. I pay for it now hahaha; those friends who had the misfortune to be in that situation have never let me live it down and it’s one of their go-to stories when I’m being introduced to new friends.

Name two of your favorite things as a child.  I loved everything Bratz. I also liked Play-Doh.

Do you own a Pillow Pet?  No, I’ve never even heard of that.

Do you tend to solve problems with violence?  Never.

Have either of your parents gone to jail?  Nope.

Do you know a hoarder?  I heard my grandma had been one, but I didn’t see traces of it when I used to visit her. I guess she had been when she was younger and stronger. I show traces of hoarding too, but I don’t think it’s at a concerning level; I literally just threw out a bunch of shit in my room I’ve hoarded over the last five or so years.

Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows?  I don’t touch them; I’m never all that worried about my appearance. On very rare instances, I will shave some of the excess hair off. Do you have any interesting scar stories?  None of them are interesting tbh, just results of my own stupidity.

Do you hate the texture of meatballs?  I don’t hate their texture but I also just don’t enjoy meatballs in general. I find them boring, which has always led me to think if they’re really supposed to be just boring clumps of meat or if I’ve just always been served average meatballs.

Do you get migraines? Yes, I usually get one after work. They’ve decreased in frequency now but one will drop by every now and then to give me a shit time.

Do you like guns?  No.

Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') < Yes! Except cockroaches.

How much time do you spend taking surveys?  I dedicate an hour or so every weekend. I often wish I can allot more time, but I also have other hobbies and interests I would usually want to catch up on during the weekends. 48 hours is just too short :(

Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t even need to think about it.

Would you like to work at a candy shop?  Uh no. If I had to, it would be on the back-end, maybe in the corporate side of things lol.

Do you have feelings for someone?  Nope.

Which one of your guy friends is the best looking?  JM.

Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf?  No.

Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player?  I don’t use music players anymore but my Spotify always reminds me of how much I listen to BTS whenever they do one of their quirky listening habit reports lol.

Which song describes your mood at the moment?  I want to go with RM’s Bicycle just because I’m feeling quite content and relaxed at the moment.

Which movie(s) do you quote the most?  Eh, I’m not a big movie quoter.

Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date?  I honestly don’t see any of them as date-able.

Would you ever let anybody else drive your car?  Sure. I’ve let Hans and Gab drive it countless times when I’ve had too much to drink. It’s a small car and is fairly easy to use and navigate. I would let Anj use it too at some point, but I want her to perfect her u-turns first hahahaha.

Which one of your friends will be the most successful?  It’s already one of my friends to begin with but I’m not naming names. They come from a privileged background to begin with and their godfather already handed one of his companies down to them, so. They were also told the CEO position is already a sure slot for them.

What store did you last shop at?  I wanna say NCAT, this Korean-themed store that sells trinkets and jewelries and plushies and stuff. They also sell BTS albums so Anj and I dropped by to check out and touch all the albums we can’t afford yet HAHA

Do you think telepathy is real?  No.

When did you last draw something for fun?  Last Saturday when I played an online drawing/guessing game with my uncles and aunts.

Who makes the most in your entire family?  My dad.

Do you like writing essays?  I love essays, it’s my favorite writing piece to make.

Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal?  It turns into one when it gets obsessive, like when people get excessive plastic surgeries specifically to look like another person. I’m looking at you, fucking Oli London.

Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up?  It’s picked up.

When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands?  I look away and just sneeze. Sometimes I’ll put up my elbow.

Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? Erm, I usually had it at night. I only had morning sex when we would spend the night; and I nearly never had noon sex.

Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test?  No.

Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  Gun to my head, Lil Wayne.

Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently:  Reena!!! I’m so grateful Angela introduced us to each other :) We both tend to get shy so we don’t actually actively get chatty when we see each other irl, but I love her presence and I love that she is my friend. I make up for it by being super friendly and wacky in our group chat haha. Does your car have a sunroof?  No. We used to have a car that did, but we had to sell that during the peak of the pandemic.

Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  Dad.

Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No.

Who’s the last person you cuddled with?  My ex.

Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook?  Yeup.

[just-the-mage]

Review-Love Death + Robots (Pt 1. Episodes 1-4)

So here we are again.  You, dear readers, and I, a mostly defunct tumblr page.  I was thinking...I’ve written a few reviews on here before, and I’ve rather enjoyed myself to be honest.  So until RP starts up again for me, I’m going to grab some popcorn and start reviewing some of the media I’ve been indulging in during this exceptionally fun pandemic we’ve all been saddled with (and are becoming increasingly more and more used to as time goes on).  Here we go! 

Spoilers incoming! I don’t like to discuss a show without going through it entirely-no stone unturned.  You have been warned! 

Love Death + Robots is a compilation series-each episode is self-contained content, based on what I have experienced thus far.  The content varies wildly from cute and sweet to surreal, to horrific.  For right now I’m going to stick with the first four episodes since they are fresh in my mind.  

Episode 1: Three Robots

Three robots shows a short adventure shared by, you guessed it-Three robots exploring the crumbling remains of human society.  It comes across as three tourists making their way through an area that they are completely unfamiliar with, attempting to define and understand elements of the environment as humans once did.  Their analysis and attempts to understand not only human culture, but also basic human biology, were entertaining to say the least.  Each robot has flair, character, and a their own take on humans and humanity.  Over the course of the episode, the fall of mankind is referenced a few times, being initially explained as a mass extinction due to environmental disasters (global warming is probably a factor-one of the buildings has an entire ship sticking out of it).  However, the twist ending throws that whole theory into question once the cat that has been accompanying the robots for the last leg of their journey reveals itself as capable of speech.  And, interestingly enough...being in possession of opposable thumbs.  It was certainly unexpected, and a bit odd-the cat (and its many, many brethren) manage to finish out the episode by convincing the robots that if the robots do not pet them, the cats may explode.  I will say that the ending, though it was rather silly and fitting with the tone, felt like an out of place twist intended mostly to give a bit of closure to a story that had no real need to have an ending.  It felt a little out-of-left field, at least to me.

This first episode, I think, is one that I could recommend to a much more general audience than almost all of the other content of the show.  It’s whimsical and cute, despite inhabiting such a grim setting (and grim it is-post apocalyptic is not taken lightly here.  There are plenty of corpses, some skeletal and some not quite so much.  At least one of them appears to have died by suicide).  I found it to be a nice addition and a good introduction to ease people into the tone of the show.  Definitely give this one a watch, even if the ending sort of comes from nowhere. 

Episode 2: Beyond the Aquila Rift

This episode was definitely a change of pace from the first.  It begins as a high science fiction story starring a hunky, middle aged man and his two crewmates, making some sort of cargo run (?) through a wormhole of some kind, but promptly finding themselves in a completely different place from what they expected.  Hunky space captain wakes up first, finding that he is greeted by an old friend (read: lover) of his, who explains that there was a navigation error that led them off course-way off course.  They’re in a completely different area than they expected.  The ship’s navigator wakes as well, swearing that there couldn’t have been an error in her calculations, but seems ill and is placed back in her future tech cryopod to rest.  Space captain man then bangs it out with his ex-lover (Greta) in a scene that was almost definitely written by a man, and she reveals to him that she lied, and that him and his crew are actually hundreds of light-years further off course than they had thought they were, basically dashing any hopes that he could have of returning to his old life.  The two then wake the navigator again, who immediately starts ranting that ‘Greta’ isn’t who she says she is.  At this point, enough clues have been given that the captain catches up with the audience (it was all a simulation the whole time), and he confronts Greta, demanding that she reveal herself as she truly is.  She does, after some prodding-and the captain finds himself in an infested husk of a ship, aged and haggard, obviously dying of starvation.  Greta reveals herself as a lovely spider-beast, and the captain wakes up from his pod again-back in his comfortable illusion once more.  

I love the premise of this one.  Crazy aliens and shit like this is a huge draw for me-sci-fi horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror when it’s done well.  I would count this episode as doing it pretty well.  They don’t go into much techno-babble, which I think is a pitfall for some sci-fi stories.  The writers are well aware that we aren’t spending too long in this world, so we don’t need to know much about the rules under which it operates outside of ‘computer mistake your ship fly here.’  The twist ending didn’t end up being too much of a twist-in my opinion there were too many clues given throughout the episode to make it that much of a surprise that things weren’t as they seemed.  The odds of this man meeting his ex-lover in the infinitesimal reaches of space just by chance were a bit too impossible to make it believable-and the navigator was far too convinced that her work couldn’t be incorrect.  In the end, it was an expected twist, but still pretty jarring.  Execution is pretty good overall though-and the sex scene is pretty decent as well, even if its strictly a dude-fantasy thing.  Also, call me a sucker for cool looking beasties, but I adore the design on spider-Greta.  That’s a lady right there for you.  

Episode 3: Ice Age

The only live action episode I’ve seen so far-this one gives an *entirely* different tone than the majority of the other episodes in the series.  Topher Grace and Mary Elizabeth Winstead happen upon a lost civilization that exists entirely within their refrigerator.  They watch in awe as it develops incredibly quickly-hundreds of years passing within the civilization in roughly an hour or so of real time.  What starts in the morning as a town in the viking ages eventually develops into a modern society, almost destroys itself with nukes, and then rebuilds from the ashes into a fully futuristic society that quickly ascends beyond physical form, appearing to disperse itself into the cosmos, no longer bound by such petty rules as the laws of physics.  A disappointed Topher asks if they’ll return-to which he receives a sad ‘no’ from his partner.  It seems all is lost, and the couple go to bed for the night-only to find that the cycle has restarted overnight, and they probably won’t be able to keep any frozen chicken in the freezer for quite some time.

This one is probably one of my favorites of the series so far.  It’s fairly well acted, but the real beauty of the episode is getting to watch the mini-civilization develop itself in a glorious time lapse-the work that must’ve gone into it must have been monumental, to be honest.  The final product certainly felt that way, in any case.  What I also found fascinating was a specific scene in which the protagonists were abandoned in place of some of the tiny denizens of the lost civilization-which made me realize exactly how slow the ‘normal sized people’s’ actions must have looked to the diminutive people of this rapidly developing society.  Reminiscent of the earth’s motion in relation to our own perception-and reinforcing the concept that to an individual, perception is everything. 

Episode 4:  Sonnie’s Edge 

This episode opens with three people transporting mysterious cargo into a heavily guarded complex, quickly encountering and interacting with a ‘bigwig’ of sorts with a beautiful woman on his arm.  Through context clues the audience is easily able to discover that the three (pictured above) are here for a fight-and that their cargo is their fighter, a living creature of obviously immense proportion.  The bigwig asks the team to throw the fight, and they refuse, even after he offers a large amount of money.  (It’s worth mentioning that during this scene, ‘Sonnie’, the leader and controller of the beast fighter, shares an EXTREMELY homosexual gaze with the bigwig’s beautiful lady friend.  Don’t think I didn’t notice the setup, because I definitely noticed the payoff, even though it was rudely interrupted).  Sonnie and her teammates enter the ring, setting up as it appears that she will be piloting her fighter in some way.  Her opponent is also introduced, though he is hardly important in the story-imagine a cake of beef with a big sticker on him that says ‘mysogyny’ in bold print.  What follows is one of the most brutal fight scenes I’ve seen in animation (this is just my personal opinion though).  These creatures fucking tear each other to shreds, with Sonnie’s beast only just barely emerging as the victor, tearing the opposing fighter’s head clean from its body.  The bigwig is obviously angry, as is Sonnie’s opponent, and Sonnie and her team retires to a hotel room of sorts, with the exception of Sonnie-who slips away into the room that houses her fighter, promptly encountering the beauty from earlier! (Payoff time)..and it gets gay.  Fast.  I love me some wlw content, and there’s some nice tension here, right up until the beauty stabs Sonnie through the head.  Rude.  The bigwig reveals himself, which was a bit of a surprise-the part of me that hadn’t seen much of this show yet was hoping for a fluffy little happy ending.  It wasn’t to be though..after the beauty crushes Sonnie’s skull, the two promptly realize that ‘Sonnie’ wasn’t Sonnie at all-just some biotech.  The *real* Sonnie...was the fighter, the whole time.  Who promptly makes short work of both the beauty and the bigwig, (implied), in what I can only describe as the most satisfying moment in the series that I’ve seen thus far.  

This was easily my favorite episode of the show, and has continued to be, and I assume will continue to be my favorite through the rest of the series.  It’s not just because of the lesbian rep (my people!), or the misogynists getting fucking destroyed, but the strength of the reveal, the choreography of the fight scene, and the *power* of the protagonist.  I love her.  I love her sooo much.  We are seamlessly introduced into the world, shown a woman who has been beaten, scarred, faced sexual abuse, and she remade herself into a being of pure power.  She fought back, and *look how she fights back*.  I cannot describe just how much of a cheer-worthy moment it was to watch the smug smile be summarily wiped from the face of the bigwig.  I *love* seeing a villain who has full confidence in their victory suddenly realize that they don’t have the upper hand anymore...and that they are, in fact, absolutely screwed.  This was one of those wonderful, wonderful moments, and I can think of nobody more deserving than this villain of being torn to shreds.  This was an A+ episode for sure-100% recommend this one for anyone who can handle a bit of gore.  

Thank you so much for reading!  This is only part 1...more to come!        

[s-c-r-i-p-s-i]

Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

[Dead by Baelight’s Kinktober // Day 8 and 18 : Outfit/Skin, Cornered]

🖤  🖤   🖤 “Don’t come any closer,” you warned shakily, backing up against the boarded-up door as he stalked forward, every step radiating confidence. “Or you’ll what?” He asked, leaning in. “Arrest me?” Playfully rattling the costume handcuffs on your belt, he set his gun against the door. You stared up at him, eyes wide as saucers, and he just snorted, curling a finger in your hair. “Darlin’…” Tilting his head, his fingers traveled lower, slowly ghosting over your neck, your collarbone…. You inhaled sharply in frightened anticipation, goosebumps rising, only for him to skim over your chest entirely, plucking one of the mini bottles from your bandolier. “I would love…” Long, bony, but strangely elegant fingers unscrewed the cap, flicking it off where it clattered across the floor somewhere. “To see you try.” 🖤  🖤   🖤 Pairing: Deathslinger (Caleb Quinn) x F! Reader

Rating: Explicit

CW: non-con/dub-con, bondage, drinking, smut, canon-typical violence

Word Count: 4,927

Something… odd had been happening lately.

Not the cankerous growths and sickly orange flowers that were always so abundant this time of year - or whatever passed for a year in this everlasting hell. By no means was that unprecedented.

Ask anyone who’d been there long enough to know and they’d tell you; there was a certain… cyclicity to things. Recurring phenomenon - the red envelopes, the flowers, the mysterious gifts wrapped up like Christmas presents. Always sequential, always in order, like some crude imitation of seasons. (And for what? No one ever aged a day.)

No, this was something new.

And new, in the Entity’s realm, was never a good thing. But… You had to admit, this seemed mostly harmless.

Look - It’s not like you were ever really in control of what you wore here, anyway. Most of the time, you were just stuck with whatever clothes you were wearing when you rolled into the fog. Sometimes She (that omnipotent thing in the sky) threw you in something else. Nobody ever really paid it much mind. The Entity worked in mysterious ways. And people, frankly, had more important shit to worry about.

But then when the flowers started blooming this year, things got a little weird.

She -…

She started putting people in costumes.

Cheap polyester numbers, mostly - the kind you’d buy from a big-box store, straight from one of those awful clear vinyl bags.

…It was starting to look a lot like Halloween. Jack-o’-lanterns even began appearing, scattered around the campfire and adorning the generators.

And nobody knew what the fuck was going on. Hell, not everyone even knew what Halloween was. You had quite the diverse cast; some people weren’t even from the same world as you.

The general vibe around the campfire was just… mild amusement if anything. You had a chuckle, then moved on. That was just the way of things. Everyone had these… survivor blinders on. You guess it was hard to get phased by something so minor when you all got murdered on the daily, but…

But you weren’t content with that.

You always had trouble just accepting things at face value. You wanted to know why.

Like - was the Entity stroking out? Things always did get a little strange around this time. Almost as if She were sick.

It was rare, but there were these little… Well, Feng called them glitches, and it was apt a term as any. Just little things, here and there, like She couldn’t quite enforce the rules of her own game.

Almost everything in this world seemed to be harvested from people’s memories. So… Maybe she was starting to pull things at random. Spiraling.

Was this the synaptic failure of a dying god?

Probably not, but there was nothing to do besides let your mind wander, and it was the only theory you had.

And then….

Then She whisked you away to Frontierland in the gaudiest slutty sheriff costume known to man and pit you against the goddamn cowboy.

Yeah, no - that was about a step too far to have been a happy accident.

Maybe you were thinking too hard. Maybe She just had a fucked up sense of humor.

When the fog cleared, you found yourself in the saloon with the others. You half-heartedly laughed it off (“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Very funny.”) and then moved on. Business as usual.

But not before rolling your eyes and discreetly downing one of the liquor minis from the shitty novelty booze bandolier sewn to your costume behind everyone’s backs.

At least She had the decency to stock it.

You were finishing up cleansing a totem when you heard the telltale crack of a gunshot split the air from all the way across the map. Not anywhere close enough to be dangerous, but a dead giveaway as to who you were up against.

…And cold hard proof that your little outfit was far from coincidence. The literal and proverbial smoking gun.

The moment you heard it you deflated, head falling back.

Seriously? What the fuck was She playing at?

Why you?

It wasn’t much of a conscious decision; you found yourself plucking another bottle from your bandolier and knocking it back without a whole lot of thought. You were obviously going to need it. Staring blankly ahead, you incredulously shook your head as you thumbed the moisture from your lip.

Okay. Alright. That was it, for now, you decided.

The Entity gave you a fully loaded bandolier - seriously, you were armed to the teeth with the little mini bottles, to the point it was actually kind of heavy. But you already felt a little weak in the knees after just two shots. It had been a while, so your tolerance was understandably nil. You didn’t want to be useless to your team. More importantly, it now felt critical you get out of there without running into the killer.

The Deathslinger was one of those ones. Not overly talkative, like a couple of the killers were, but he definitely got a kick out of the whole thing. There was a stark difference between the two camps, so to speak - the ones who only seemed like they killed because they had to, and the ones who were completely in their element. And he was obviously one of the latter.

It was that goddamn laugh. Low and sultry. Chuckling whenever he hooked someone or when a survivor did something exceptionally dumb. Even when you weren’t the target of it, you’d come to associate it with pure humiliation.

And you just knew that he’d take one look at you, in your stupid sheriff costume, and… Oh. You were steaming mad only thinking about it.

So you made it your personal mission to avoid him this trial. And to do that, you had to actually get out. Which meant no more drinks for you!

You should have known She had other plans.

You did your best to keep a low profile, tried to make sure you were on the opposite side of the map from him at all times, while still being useful. A difficult balancing act.

But you couldn’t just leave your friends hanging.

When you saw Meg’s aura flare out in distress as she was lowered onto the hook, you began making your way over, quick and quiet and praying to every god you knew that he would be long gone by the time you got there.

And, lucky you, there was no sight of him. So you crept towards the hook, privately taking solace that at least you weren’t alone in the goof factor; Meg was all dressed up like Wendy - the fast-food icon. The Entity really outdid herself, the braids were right on the nose, and you were almost loosey-goosey enough to make some stupid quip. Almost. Maybe when she wasn’t dangling from a meat hook.

You pulled her off the hook with care, but just as her feet touched the ground, another gunshot rang out, this time much louder. A spear whizzed by so close that you could hear it shear through the air just before it embedded itself in the post, inches away from you both. No sooner had you whipped your head around to find the source than the sound of shoes pounding against the ground filled your ringing ears.

You looked back and Meg was gone. Peeled off like a bandaid.

You decided you better get the hell out of Dodge too.

First things first, you needed to get out of the open; that was just asking to get shot. So you made a mad dash for the saloon. You figured you had a good head start since it should have taken him a hot minute to retrieve the harpoon, dislodge it from the hook, shove it back in the gun… Sounded like a whole ass process.

Except, when you looked back behind you he was hot on your tail. Trail. Hot on your trail.

You made a snap judgment, deciding you’d try and lose him by running up to the second story. Was it cheap? Absolutely. He obviously had some kind of bum leg, unless that brace was some kind of bold fashion statement. Not that it had ever slowed him down, any. But you were desperate. And all’s fair in love and war, right?

Swiftly turning the corner, you galloped up the stairs and dove into the first room you saw, hopping through the window.

By the time your eyes adjusted to the indoors and you realized it was a dead-end, it was too late. The only other exit was boarded up, and you could hear his boots unhurriedly thumping up the creaky steps like he was in no rush at all. Step. Step. You rushed to the boarded-up door and gave it a good open-palmed slam to test its strength - you’d seen killers smash through these like they were cardboard, but it just wouldn’t budge. Shit.

He was getting closer. You could hear his spurs. Hissing, you banged your fist against the boards in frustration. What, impending injury wasn’t bad enough? She had to add insult, too?

The footsteps stopped, and so did everything else, it felt like. Holding your breath, you slowly began to turn around. There he was in the window, backlit and silhouette, dusty sunlight filtering through his ghostly white hair. You had to admit, he cut a striking figure, something cinematic. There was just the trouble of the gun. Aimed right at you.

Didn’t have to climb over the window if he just reeled you to him. Smart man.

Before you could think to dive for cover or something smart like that, he began lowering the gun. It was hard to tell what expression he was wearing, backlit as he was, but you could feel those spectral eyes looking you up and down. From your cheap western style boot covers, all the way up your legs to your fluffy petticoat and layered skirts, the ill-fitted booze bandolier slung around your shoulder… and finally, the gold, plastic 5 point sheriff star nestled between your tits.

Oh God. Here it comes…

He didn’t even have to say a word, hot embarrassment already surging to the surface before he even opened his mouth.

“Well. Pardon me.” You could make out the glint of dirty teeth in the dark as his grin spread. “Didn’t know you were an elected official.”

Why the hell was he exempt from this bullshit, anyway? You’d seen Ghostface in a devil costume, and Myers in a cat ear headband, so you knew they weren’t immune. Maybe the Entity thought he looked stupid and campy enough as is. But… she couldn’t have dressed him up as Woody from Toy Story or something? He probably wouldn’t have gotten it, but you would have found it funny. Maybe then you wouldn’t have felt so small and humiliated.

You hated this. You didn’t even know what to say until he started climbing over the window. Then you had a pretty clear idea.

“Don’t come any closer,” you warned shakily, backing up against the boarded-up door as he stalked forward, every step radiating confidence.

“Or you’ll what?” He asked, leaning in. “Arrest me?” Playfully rattling the costume handcuffs on your belt, he set his gun against the door. You stared up at him, eyes wide as saucers, and he just snorted, curling a finger in your hair.

“Darlin’…” Tilting his head, his fingers traveled lower, slowly ghosting over your neck, your collarbone…. You inhaled sharply in frightened anticipation, goosebumps rising, only for him to skim over your chest entirely, plucking one of the mini bottles from your bandolier. “I would love…” Long, bony, but strangely elegant fingers unscrewed the cap, flicking it off where it clattered across the floor somewhere. “To see you try.”

And on that note, he finally tipped it back - you watched his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed it down. Shaking the empty bottle at you, he slipped it back into its holster on your belt. “Bit frivolous, you know.” He commented, curling his finger in and snapping it back. “A flask does just fine. No need to reinvent the wheel.”

“Right, well,” you huffed, and moved to squeeze past him - he was clearly in good humor, at least, so maybe he’d let you off easy. Wasn’t a little whiskey and a laugh good enough?

Apparently not.

You were immediately met with an arm shooting out, hand landing right beside your head, caging you in.

“Woah there, where d’ya think you’re going, sweetheart?” He smirked down at you, a crooked thing that flashed his teeth, scarred lip snagged over a canine. You’d never noticed before, but one of his incisors had a gold crown. Now that you’d noticed, you couldn’t stop looking at it, the alcohol still floating around in your bloodstream turning you into some sort of easily distracted magpie. He was missing one of his bottom teeth, too. It was… kind of a mess in there, huh? Smelled like whiskey and tobacco.

“You got me all the way up here, I’m not too keen on leaving already.” Sliding his hand from the door, he guided you away by the small of your waist, and you… you just kind of let him, stiltedly trying to follow his direction.

“So how about you…” You reached the bed and he grabbed you by your shoulders, turning you round to face him. “Just sit your pretty ass down.” Just a slight push and you were bouncing on the bedsprings, palms catching your fall.

In the back of your mind you were already fearing the worst, but much to your surprise he just sat down next to you on the edge of the mattress, looking almost comically large and out of place on the twin-size bed. All you could do was blink at him dumbly, unsure what was happening.

He took a long breath through his nose. It felt like forever before he finally released it and said, “Have a drink with me.”

“I…” You drew out the word dubiously, clearly meaning to decline. You were already too tipsy for comfort considering present company was a killer.

“Didn’t ask,” He said gruffly, pulling two bottles from your bandolier and offering you one. “Indulge an old man. Or we’ll do it the hard way.”

Hard to argue with that! You didn’t know what the hard way was, but you didn’t want to find out. So you took the bottle, lips pulling together in a tight, awkward half-smile when he clinked his against yours.

This was weird. Awkward, and in a whole different way than you’d been preparing yourself for.

You actually found yourself glad for the burn that flooded your body as you downed the shot, heat loosening your tense limbs and taking the edge off this… incredibly odd situation, if only slightly.

Besides the obvious threat, it felt like maybe, despite everything… he was really just a lonely old man. In want of someone to drink with. A slice of normality. Isn’t that what you all wanted? You guessed it couldn’t hurt. It was keeping him away from the generators, anyway. Buying you all some extra time.

And… maybe this was what the Entity wanted. The reason she brought you here like this.

“Now, miss,” He spoke, and you turned your gaze up to him, blinking owlishly, your head swimming. There was a lot to take in at this distance. All these different textures. Scars and stubble and pockmarks. You found it all fascinating. “I’ve got to be frank with you.”

You know, you hadn’t really heard him speak at length before, but you were starting to realize that his whole aesthetic, he didn’t really sound straight out of a spaghetti western like you might expect. There was a trace of that, especially in his vocabulary, but his accent was much more reminiscent of… Canada, somehow. With a slightly Irish lilt.

It was ludicrously unexpected, and something about it just made a dopey smile float onto your face. You didn’t even realize you were doing it, until his eyes drifted down, and he huffed with almost fond incredulity.

“Think that’s funny, huh?”

You’re almost positive you missed something he said. You heard it, you just didn’t… process it right. This time when he spoke, you tried to pay attention.

“I don’t usually go taking what ain’t mine, but damn if you don’t look like a present addressed just to me.”

It was your turn to huff, bobbing with amusement. “Okay, cowboy, I know what it looks like, but…” It wasn’t like you chose this outfit.

“Honey,” he interrupted, “I think you’ve mistaken me for the wrong kinda wrangler. It’s not cows I’m after.” He paused, tipping his head as if reconsidering, smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “But if a heifer’s in need of a good driving…”

It took you a solid minute for your brain to catch up. He was content to watch the cogs turn until it did.

He just called you a cow!

A cow in need of a good dicking!

Your mouth hung open in shock and he - he just laughed.

“Little slow on the uptake, aren’t cha? Had a few already? How bout one more?” His hand began trailing up your leg, dirty fingers slowly dipping beneath your pure white petticoat.

Suddenly, one thing was very clear.

You had to get out of here.

Shaking your head, you tried to stand, but you were swiftly reeled back as soon as your feet hit the ground, pulled into a hard lap, all bones and brace and knobby knees and God knows what else.

“We’re gonna have one more,” his voice materialized right beside your ear, tone final as he pulled another mini from your belt. You shook your head, whimpering some protest between tightly closed lips as he pressed the bottle to your mouth. Behind you, you heard him sigh through his nose like a beleaguered bull. Then his other hand came round your face, pinching your nose shut.

You didn’t wait around for your lungs to give out. There wasn’t any point in that. You knew he wasn’t going to give in. But you did. Almost immediately. Your lips parted for air and got tequila instead, swallowing sloppily as you tried not to choke, rivulets of amber dripping down your chin while he murmured, “There you go… Nice and easy…”

His hand lowered to your throat to tip your head back, your world spinning as a wet sensation dragged across your chin, the man licking up the tequila in one broad and obscene lick. That rotten chuckle inundated your senses. “Awful cute when ya can’t even keep your eyes straight.” He tapped his fingers along the column of your throat, adding in afterthought. “Awful cute anyway, but I’m not really in the mood to fight just for a little company tonight. You gonna be good for me now, darling?”

“…Uh-huh.” You nearly sobbed out the sound, voice meek and pathetic. But you’d be lying if you weren’t starting to feel… sweaty under your skirts, inner thighs getting embarrassingly slick. That always happened when you were drunk, but never this bad.

And despite all the awfulness churning in your stomach, you still felt heat pool in your gut as he cooed, “Good girl. Not at dumb as you look, are you?”

You didn’t even realize he was actually expecting an answer until he probed again, “Are you?”

You quickly shook your head.

Humming, he seemed to accept that, because he was soon re-adjusting you on his lap and catching your lips with his in a messy kiss. He tasted strong and dry, your tongue prickling like your taste buds were trying to retract at the mere slide of his against yours; like salt on a slug. When his hand crept up your skirt this time, you didn’t try to stop him, even as his middle finger began tracing your sopping panties, dipping into the wet seam. You could scarcely think, devolved into a gooey pile of nerves and feelings that he was amusedly plucking at.

Peeling your panties aside, his fingers parted your folds, a pleased rumble emanating in his throat and vibrating in your mouth when his thumb brushed against your clit and your hips twitched in response.

You were gasping for breath by the time he finally pulled his mouth away, but he gave you no time to recover, already pressing two fingers past your resistance. In some attempt to ground yourself, you grasped at his arm as they began curling and pumping inside you, but your weak, drunk grip made it about as easy as catching clouds.

At some point, your barely-there vision drifted towards the window and you dimly realized you were facing it, completely exposed. That if anyone came up the stairs, they’d be able to see everything.

You’d just have to hope his heartbeat would be enough to keep them far away from the saloon. Eyes fluttering to the ceiling, you pushed the thought from your mind. It wasn’t hard. Not when the feeling in your stomach was reaching a fever pitch, nearing the point of no return.

In some ways, he was a lot gentler than you were expecting. Which was good, because you felt hopelessly vulnerable right now, helpless and disorientated in his lap, his looming over you making your mixed up brain feel protected even though some part of you knew that wasn’t right.

Everything felt numb except where he touched you; the heat of his breath on your neck, the kisses he pressed to your skin, the scrape of his beard, the brush of his long hair against your shoulder. All your wires were crossed, every little sensation going straight to your core.

Gasping out as your climax crashed over you, your hips lurched, thighs trying to snap closed around his hand. Unbothered, he just kept stroking you through it until your hips finally began to sink back down and your cunt stopped desperately trying to milk his fingers. Withdrawing slowly, he pressed them into your open mouth, the tang of your own juices spreading across your tongue. You didn’t know what it said about you that your blind instinct was to obediently suck, but that’s what you did, and he breathed out in a low, steady hiss.

“Careful, now. Fool me too good and I might have to keep you.”

Pulling away, he encouraged you to lay on the bed, settling between your legs. You watched the ceiling drift then snap back to place every time you blinked while he fiddled with something - you weren’t sure what until he was fixing your arms above your head and the apparently not-so-novelty handcuffs from your costume were being snapped around your wrists.

Then his hands were skating over you appreciatively, over your ribcage, the curvature of your waist almost reverently. “Guess the good Lord finally answered my prayers.” He murmured, flicking the plastic sheriff star between your bosom. “Not really how I woulda done it, but beggars can’t be choosers, eh? After all…” The man sighed, fingers curling into the top of your blouse and slowly dragging the gingham fabric down over your breasts until they were revealed to his eerie, quietly covetous eyes. “We don’t exactly have all the time in the world, do we?”

What was that even supposed to mean? It seemed to you as if you had nothing but time. Maybe not in this particular trial - and as if to punctuate that thought, you felt a generator kick to life, the familiar thrum of hope in your bones.

Did he know something you didn’t? Or were you just too foxed to follow?

Exhaling, he rolled his hands over your breasts, admiring the feel of them for just a moment. It seemed like he wanted to take his time with you, but the reminder that you were on a timer was the spur in his side that eventually pushed him to move on.

You heard him audibly fiddling with his belts and wondered if you were getting out of this alive. It was cold comfort, but at least you’d probably managed to save everyone else. Not very heroic when it wasn’t even really your decision. But it was something. Maybe. Something to cling to as you felt the heat of him slide across the mess he’d made of you.

Whimpering, you curled inwards from your core as he entered you, bound hands lifting up and both grasping at his chest at the feeling of being run through. By no means was it violent. It didn’t hurt, exactly. But it had been a long time, and he was unforgivingly long and solid and foreign. An intrusion on your body.

“That’s it. There you go, gorgeous. Hang onto me.”

You did, your hands abandoning his chest to loop over his neck, accidentally knocking the hat off his head in your bound fumbling. He didn’t seem to care, swooping down to take your lips again while you struggled to get used to the feeling of him moving inside you.

With how wet you already were, it didn’t take all that long before pleasure started to win out, every little bump and grind against your sweet spot pulling you closer to the edge again, his mouth muffling the pathetic stream of sounds trying to escape yours.

This time, the fall from the top was a slow one, liquid heat spilling out across your core - though you weren’t quite aware how literally until you felt it physically starting to pool beneath you, a wave of embarrassment flaring when you’d realized what just happened. Okay - you didn’t - that had never happened before, drunk or not.

Your hopes that he didn’t notice were dashed as he pulled away to chuckle heatedly in your ear. He wasn’t far behind though, laughter broken by a groan as his hips snapped against yours, burying himself deep as he could go. You felt the alien jerk of his cock inside you, radiating warmth.

Panting, he nuzzled at your neck as he came down, whiskers scratching at your skin. You felt… suspended in place, not sure what came next. But you guessed it wasn’t up to you. Hesitantly, you let your fingers slip into his sweaty white tresses, the texture thick and rough like the mane of a horse, dusty and… probably unwashed for God knows how long.

There was that awkward feeling again. Like you were two pieces of a puzzle that didn’t fit no matter how you turned them, but you weren’t allowed to leave.

Eventually, he took a deep, centering breath and withdrew from you, guiding your hands back to the bed and clicking open the safety release of the handcuffs, setting you free and letting them fall wherever on the floor.

Rubbing your wrists, you groaned in discomfort as he dragged his fingers through the mess, pushing his cum back inside you. No. You just wanted to be done.

But then he pulled your panties back into place. Pulled your shirt back up. Smoothed your skirts down.

His gaze lingered on you for a long moment before he heaved a big sigh and finally dismounted.

Pulling you up by your arm so that you were sitting up, he grabbed his hat from the bed, and you felt him plop it onto your head and adjust it.

“Suits ya.” He said softly, and it was the first thing he’d said in a while. Part of you was waiting for the other shoe to drop, not sure if he wanted a thank you, or…

He eyed you for another long moment, like there was something more he wanted to say, but… Instead, his gaze flicked down to the bandolier round your chest.

You swallowed hard as he plucked the last two bottles from your belt, the thought of taking another shot making your stomach churn and your gag reflex curl.

Patting your thigh, he bonelessly plopped himself in the nearby chair, rolling his eyes as you just stared at him. “Go on, get.” He snorted, uncapping one of the little bottles. “Don’t fall down the stairs on your way out.”

He was letting you go? Just like that?

You hesitated, something about this seemed… unfinished. You weren’t sure if you wanted to go.

But you didn’t want to wait around until he changed his mind, either.

So you uncertainly began heading towards the window, pausing when you remembered - “Your hat…” You reached for it, intending to give it back, but…

“Keep it, I don’t care.” That sounded unexpectedly crabby, and when you looked back, he wasn’t looking at you. He was staring at the wall, avoiding your gaze as he tipped back a shot. “Wear it if you want to see me again. Don’t if ya don’t. I can take a hint.”

You blinked, unable to believe he was sulking. Now. After everything.

Your fingers hovered over the brim of the hat. You needed to quash this now, while you still had the chance. Your conscience was screaming at you, leave it, don’t encourage him, don’t even give him hope.

Don’t bring it to the campfire. Don’t anything. Just… leave it on the windowsill, you told yourself. It shouldn’t have even required thought. Nothing about this was okay.

You didn’t even know his goddamn name.

And yet… You found your hand slowly lowering, falling back down to your side. You gave him one last, long look before grabbing the windowsill.

You could always decide later.

🖤  🖤 🖤

Thank you for reading!!!

🖤  🖤 🖤  

Notes:

Thank you Pugge for beta'ing most of this!

I do not know WHY this took me so long to write but I’m fairly happy with it. Sorta wasn’t the direction I originally had planned for this, but what can I say, I’m cursed. I got the Midas touch, except instead of gold, everything I touch turns to non-con.

This piece was written for Day 8 and 18 of the 🔞 Dead by Baelight 🔞 Discord server’s Kinktober. Anyone over 18 is welcome to join here.

[bleachbigbang]

Bleach Big Bang 2021 Fic Summaries!

Writing samples for each fic attached. 

Fic #01 || Sample

Rating: Explicit

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Urahara Kisuke, Aizen Sousuke

Main Pairings: Urahara Kisuke/Kurosaki Ichigo || Aizen Sousuke/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: BDSM, suicidal thoughts, probably bad self-care, dark thoughts, bad BDSM etiquette, Dom/sub

No matter which mastermind stood behind the plan, when Lady Fate is a bitch who doesn't like to follow what others say. 

They planned to go back and change the past, to have a better future. 

They planned everything carefully, three masterminds, and a brute force. 

They planned but everything went wrong. 

Only one person arrived back in time in another timeline. He was alone, without his soul mate, without any help from the masterminds. Will he be able to change the future alone? Will Lady Bitch Fate let him? But wait... Why is that thing there? That shouldn't be possible! 

The beginning already changed, why is it there? Why does it still happen? 

“Foolish Mortal, there are things that will remain the same, no matter what you do. Can you change the future without knowing what are the invariable happenings in time? Will you be able to find your happiness, while you keep helping others to find theirs? I am curious about it, but Mortal, I’m Lady Fucking Fate, I love chaos.”

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Fic #02 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: Major Character Death

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Ogichi Shirosaki (Hollow Ichigo), Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

Main Pairings: Ichigo Kurosaki/Ogichi Shirosaki 

Additional Warnings: Reincarnation. Major character death might happen more than once. Heavy cultural reference and possible historical manipulation, mesoamerican focused. ((AKA: if you're racist/have trouble with inaccuracies, think twice))

He doesn't know why was he born into this world. His life has been nothing but pain, always feeling out of place and never in sync with his people and "friends", and once he became an exile, he really felt like there was nothing left for him in this life. That was until he met the God that would give meaning to his existence, and become his reason to fight. "Shiro", now Ichtalcoatl's warrior, feels like everything he has endured was for this moment, and he wouldn't exchange it for anything. 

Except, all evil happens for a reason, and there are many truths to be uncovered from Shiro's past, giving meaning to this eternal karma and the never-ending cycle of pain. This is the tale of the final trial Shiro must endure to be worthy of the Sun itself.

Gods/Demigods AU, ft. Quetzalcoatl Ichigo.

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Fic #03 || Sample 

Rating: Teen 

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, Renji Abarai, Byakuya Kuchiki, Kenpachi Zaraki, Visored, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, Ulquiorra Cifer, Aizen Sousuke, Other Bleach characters

Main Pairings: None / Undecided

Additional Warnings: Swearing, Mild Violence, Mild Gore, Canon Divergence

Ichigo is special, he's always been. From the moment he managed to become a Soul reaper, to when he obtained unlikely powers and achieved inhuman deeds, he's always had that natural talent to go beyond the limits. However, his true strength lies not in his latent abilities, but in the charm he wasn't even aware he had. His ultimate power was not his bankai, nor his hollowfication; it was his power to move people's hearts, sway them towards him, and somehow make those who wanted to kill him become his most loyal allies. Or, instead of merely befriending everyone he fought, Ichigo unknowingly builds an army of people who will die for him and change destiny itself in order to protect their one, true king.

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Fic #04 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Kisuke Urahara, Yasutora Sado

Main Pairings: None / Undecided

Additional Warnings: Teacher AU, DID, Alternating POVs, Supernatural Elements, No Shinigami AU

Ichigo moves to Karakura after an abrupt shift in career. There, he meets faces both familiar (his friend Chad is teaching music) and not (he doesn’t know what’s up with that Urahara guy but for a maths teacher he's not that bad). As the newest teacher in the school, and the least experienced at it, Ichigo decides not to make waves and to let himself fade into the background. Unfortunately, his friendship with the maths teacher seems to drag him into plots that are far outside of anything he’s ever known.

NOTE: I'm really flexible as far as the plot goes and willing to work with the artist if there are any particular elements they'd like to incorporate

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Fic #05 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Kisuke Urahara, Rukia Kuchiki, Tessai Tsukabishi, Yoruichi Shihōin, Ichigo Kurosaki

Main Pairings: No romantic relationships; Pre-UraYoruTess; 

Kisuke has feelings for both Tessai and Yoruichi but that won't develop into anything during this fic though I have plans for UraYoruTess & TatsuHime in a sequel. 

Additional Warnings: N/A

There was a soul reaper who was assigned to Karakura town. There was a human who could see ghosts. There was a hollow who wanted to eat. Thus, the sword of fate fell, But the sword did not hit the ground when the soul reaper transferred her powers to the human. For there was a shopkeeper who still had a decision to make Kisuke decides to tell Rukia about the hogyoku and Aizen. They start working together to take down Aizen.

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Fic #06 || Sample

Rating: Teen 

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters:  Urahara Kisuke, Kurosaki Ichigo, Hirako Shinji

Main Pairings: Shinji Hirako/Urahara Kisuke, Urahara Kisuke/Kurosaki Ichigo 

Additional Warnings: N/A

After the Visored were changed, Kisuke had a multitude of theories. One of those was that they might still be contagious. A slip during training proves that theory, and now he has to get his own hollow side under control with the help of his friends. As always, that's easier said than done, given that Kisuke's hollow is as odd as he is.

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Fic #07 || Sample

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Hollow Ichigo 

Main Pairings: Past Hollow Ichigo/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: Flashbacks, Heavy Betrayal, Psychological Trauma, PTSD, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Toxic Relationship

Ichigo -- or what he assumes his name is -- doesn't expect to wake up to the poverty-stricken Rukongai. Without a clue as to where he is or how he ended up there, he meets another amnesiac lost soul, who calls himself Shiro (name pending tbh). However, lurking beneath the two of them is a storm of betrayal waiting to be unleashed.

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Fic #08 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Hollow Ichigo

Main Pairings: Hollow Ichigo/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: Very fluff, much cute

“We've been childhood friends all this time. I think I would know when you aren't enjoying yourself with someone,” Shiro stated, tilting his head further into his palm to assess Ichigo's reaction.

“It's ... It's not going to be like that, okay? Maybe he'll turn out better than you think,” He countered, causing Shiro to sigh under his breath. While Ichigo hesitantly stuffed the thoughtless gift from his new boyfriend in his bag, Shiro could only watch. He couldn't help but wonder when it'd be his turn to make him happy.

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Fic #09 || Sample

Rating: Explicit

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Momo Hinamori

Main Pairings: Momo Hinamori/Izuru Kira/Shuuhei Hisagi/Renji Abarai

Additional Warnings: Alcoholism, Past Abusive Relationships.

Continuation of All that draws us together (AO3) 

Momo knows all the ups and downs of life and love, yet she rides it again and again. Sometime after the battle against Wandenreich, Momo invites Izuru out. 

From there begins a maelstrom of confusion hurt, and eventually, the loving partnership of her, Izuru, Renji, and Shuuhei.

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Fic #10 || Sample

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Main Characters: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Ichigo Kurosaki

Main Pairings: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Kurosaki Ichigo 

Additional Warnings: Body Horror, Body Dysmorphia

Ichigo is the most advanced CyberLife Android to date. A prototype. A test model. Incomplete. Grimmjow smiles, and it's not biting. It's more. Painful. There is nothing physically wrong with Ichigo, and yet his chest aches at the sight. "You're my partner, Ichigo. A whole person. You always have been."

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Fic #11 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Main Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Gotei Captains, Kamado Tanjirou (KnY)

Main Pairings: None (Gen)

Additional Warnings: Suicidal Ideation

Bleach x Kimetsu no Yaiba crossover. In which all their deaths were in vain, and Muzan lived, and the Gotei are the Demon Slayer Corps in the modern world.

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Fic #12 || Sample

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Underage

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Shinji Hirako, Kisuke Urahara, minor appearances by Rukia and Co.

Main Pairings: Shinji Hirako/Ichigo Kurosaki

Additional Warnings: Ambiguous Morality, Dark Ichigo, Ichigo Eats Souls, Hurt/Comfort 

[some tags might be added, but these are the bulk of the story]

Ichigo’s excuse of a broken soul is not enough to keep him going, and an assassination attempt brings to light just how deep the problem goes.

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Fic #13 || Sample

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Main Characters: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Rukia Kuchiki

Main Pairings: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Rukia Kuchiki

Additional Warnings: N/A

Grimmjow doesn't think he's coming out of this alive. 

A drabble fic. 

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Fic #14 || Sample 

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: No Archive Warning Apply

Main Characters: Ichigo Kurosaki, Yasutora “Chad” Sado, Orihime Inoue, Uryuu Ishida, Rukia Kuchiki, Keigo Asano, Mizuiro Kojima, Tatsuki Arisawa, Renji Abarai, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

Main Pairings: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Kurosaki Ichigo

Additional Warnings: N/A

The group had settled on blankets by the bay as the fireworks went off in the distance, the booms, cracks, and sparkles of them could be heard clearly. As they all watched, they got close to each other and kept warm on their shared blankets, friends, or couples, they didn’t care. Grimmjow and Ichigo, Chad and Orihime, Renji and Rukia, Mizuiro and Keigo shared their blankets as pairs, but Uryuu and Tatsuki had their own little spots on their blankets.

They had traveled to America for the school year as transfer students in South Texas and this was the first time that they had seen fireworks like this outside of the tv, and they were the best experience that they have had since being there, thus far. Grimmjow, Keigo, Rukia, and Renji were off in the distance cheering while their partners and friends smiled and watched them as the finale of the fireworks were going off on the boardwalk.

After the fireworks ended, they all picked up their blankets and bags of used small sparklers and party poppers that they had bought beforehand from the Kroger that was close to their host parents’ houses the day before.

[miastideclock]

The One Where The Dogs Gets Away (Bang Chan)

broooo, so I love this friends thing, but why not start off in smaller sections? Like maybe you could rewrite the part where Rachel lost Marcel(the monkey) and she and Ross fights?? But you're really good at angsty stuff, so throw some of that in there?? And could you do it w Chan??? I'm trash sorry

This is from when I asked if I should do Stray Kids as F.R.I.E.N.D.S. lmao its been a wHILE- SORRY

Word count: a lot 3,527

-

She could hear talking, but her mind was so utterly focused on the ticking of the clock that struck eight, that she didn't make out a single one of the words that were said.

"Corey?" Was what pulled her out of her train of thought. She snapped her head towards the speaker, and instantly apologized for not paying attention.

"Chan, sorry. This is so stupid!" She burst, referring to the incident they had talked about just previously. One of her colleagues was getting married, and that meant the entire project laid on Corey's shoulder. It was quite a massive one too. Corey didn't mind that her coworker was getting married, well maybe a little, but what really irked her was the fact that he coworker knew she was getting married that date, a year ago- and still said she could work the project, but the project would be in motion during her honeymoon.

"I should just be happy for them right? I can do some extra work. I am, I'm happy for them." She lied through her teeth, Chan instantly catching on, placing a hand on her back, questioning her truthfulness.

"No. Oh, I guess it would just be different if I were- with somebody. Like maybe I would understand her thinking more?" Corey sat back in her chair and picked at a noodle with her chopsticks. This caught Chans attention.

Ever since he first met Corey, he had been elbow deep in love with her. It was almost as if his whole life revolved around her, that everything he did was for her.

"Whoah, uh, what happened to 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' the whole penis embargo?" Chan mentioned, hinting to the thing she had sworn off after her last boyfriend, Hyunjin.  

They hadn't been a good couple at all. Corey and Hyunjin didn't even speak the same language, so it was hard for them to do anything else than makeout and have unnecessarily loud sex when they thought they were alone. Corey's roommate Changbin, didn't find that very fun.

In fact, everyone in their group was grossed out by it. Especially Chan, as he was the one most affected by it.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Seungmin, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Hyunjin, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual-" Corey explained, but soon to be cut off by a severely uncomfortable Chan.

"Wait-wait. I got it. I was there." He smiled to hide the fact that he wanted to absolutely kill Hyunjin. Corey then grabbed Chans hands out of happit as they continued to chat. Chan had to admit to himself that there had never been a second in his life where he had to concentrate this bad to not kiss someone. Because there she was, the girl of his dreams, holding his hands, her face ten inches from his. Her brown eyes seemed soft and gentle as they looked into his, him getting lost in them.

"Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?" She breathed as she continued to stare into his eyes. This made Chan's heart leap as she spoke. It was everything he had ever wished she would tell him, and more.

"Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who-" He started, building up the courage to confess and maybe even kiss her- but the moment was ruined when the owner of the apartment, Changbin, came home with friends.

"Hi." He greeted them and placed the groceries on the kitchen counter right behind Chan. Corey soon let go of Chan's hands and asked the group how the movie was. Jisung and Felix hated it, while Changbin and Woojin had been quite large fans of the film.

They discussed it for a few eternities according to Chan, all before he realized he had to leave. He had to take his dog, Berry, home.

"Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Berry! We're gonna take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are!" Chan baby talked his dog as he got the leash on him. The King Charles Spaniel had been sleeping on the couch while Chan and Corey had been having dinner.

"They are still just friends, right?" Felix asked in a joking manner, implying that Chan and his puppy had a weird relationship. Most of them ignored him, and Corey walked over to the dog, petting him. "And I will see you tomorrow!" She grinned as Berry wagged his tail at her.

"That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Corey's, aren't you?" Chan continued to baby talk, this however perked Changbin's attention. After all it was his apartment.

"Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Uncle Changbin get a say in this?" He asked, a brow raised as he was suspicious to the idea. Everyone knew how weird Changbin was about his apartment.

"Pwease, Uncle Changbin, pwease?" Chan picked up the dog and hid behind him, pretending it was Berry talking. He didn't seem even a tad bit interested, making Chan give up. "Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be here." He added as he walked out the door with the dog.

Not long after, Corey went to bed, and before she knew it, she was dog-sitting Berry.  

"Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- " Corey explained to the dog as they watched the television displaying a Spanish soap. As she was speaking, Berry knocked over a pillow revealing Changbins left yeezy.

"Berry, are you playing with Changbin's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl-whoah. Berry, did you pee in Changbin's shoe? Berry, bad dog!" Corey continued to talk to the dog as she picked up the smelly shoe and held it at arm's length. She used some paper towels to clean out the pee as good as she can, then carried the paper towels over to the trash chute in the hallway, accidentally leaving the door open.

While throwing it down the metal drain, she heard a gunshot come from the television, making her rush back in. "Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh..! Well, we know it wasn't Vanessa, right Berry? Because-" But as she looked down to continue talking to him, he was gone.

"Berry?" That was when she turned around and noticed the door was left open. Panic struck.

By now, she had called everyone to the apartment, all except for Chan. "Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Seoul Tower, and you go to The Blue House." Felix said sarcastically as they all tried to figure out where the dog was.

"Oh, my, God! C'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!" Corey panicked, starting to bite her nails in stress.

"Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Woojin and I'll take third and fourth. Corey, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Chan to kill you." Changbin instructed and chased everyone out of the apartment, Corey softly asking if anyone wanted to trade, but no one replied.

Corey looked around in every room in the apartment, just in case he was still in there, but to no use. After maybe thirty minutes, she decided to call in for the big guns. Unlucky for her, she was on the phone with animal control when Chan entered the door. "Okay, he's a, he's a brown and white King Charles Spaniel, with a-" Her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach when she saw Chan coming in with a smile on his face.

"with, with Russian dressing, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks." She covered and hung up, turning to Chan as if nothing was wrong. They greeted each other. Corey immediately noticed the bottle of wine in his hand and asked him about it. He confirmed her theory of its contents, then proceeding to ask if she wanted some.

"Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kind of crazy. You wanna go to Jakarta?" Corey tried persuading, desperate to postpone the inevitable truth, that she had lost his dog.

"Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that. But before we head off to the robbery capital of Southeast Asia, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. You know how we were talking before, about relationships and stuff? Well-" Chan started, obviously nervous as he was about to confess his feelings for her. He unscrewed the cork of the wine bottle, but Corey cut him off. Not because she knew he was going to confess, cause she didn't. She was beyond stressed about his dog.

"Oh God, Chan, I can't do this." She said as she paced back and forth in the kitchen, Chan's face falling. "Okay, Chan. Please don't hate me." She continued as Chan intensely tried getting the cork back on the wine. He looked at her first with concern, then confusion- because she was way more stressed out than what was normal when turning someone down.

"Y'know Berry? Well, I kind of.. I kind of lost him." She admitted, Chans arms falling to his sides as he looked at her in disbelief, almost as if she was waiting for her to tell him it was a prank.

"I-I-I ca- I can't believe this! I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment. No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't have asked you to start off with a dog. I should have started you off with like a pen or a pencil." He yelled, pacing around, furious out of his mind.

Corey found herself in tears as she tried to explain herself. "Chan, I'm doing everything I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I-" She was cut off as the intercom buzzed. She rushed over and asked who it was, pleased as she heard it was Animal Control.

"You called Animal Control?" Chan spoke in a low voice. Corey looking at him with a worried expression, asking if he didn't like them.

"Berry is a loose dog. If they find him, they are going to take him away from me, as I am not fit for a owner if I manage to lose him." Chan explained.

There was a knock on the door, Corey swiftly opening it. "Hi thank you for coming." She greeted, a man clad in a brown Animal Control uniform, and a huge butterfly net stood there, looking miserable as he probably didn't like his job very much.

Corey and Chan soon pretended they had no idea what he was talking about when he mentioned a dog, but Woojin soon came and accidentally revealed that there was in fact a dog on the loose.

"Look, I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Seo Changbin." Changbin stated, pulling out a chair for the man and sat down in a chair himself. The man's eyes widened as Changbin mentioned his name.

"Oh my God, you are! And you're Corey Lee!" He said as he pointed to Corey. "Lee Minho! Cheongdam High? I sat behind you guys in home room!" Minho lit up as he introduced himself to his old classmates.

This pitched the fakes most annoying play ever produced, Changbin and Corey pretending they remembered Minho. "Minho? Oh my God, Changbin! It's Minho!" Corey started with a voice absolutely drenched in enthusiasm.

"The Minho from home room!" Changbin threw himself on, making a fool out of himself with his horrid lying.

"You have no idea who I am, do you?" Minho asked as he called out the two actors. They quickly admitted that it was the truth, something that hurt Minho. "Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Minho'? Or 'Nice dancing'?" He spat back, the two embarrassed that they had behaved so poorly to someone when they were younger.

Changbin started to apologize for everything, but Minho cut him off. "Ah, it's not so much about you, you were a fucking loser, you had your own problems." He started, Changbin being dumbfounded by the entire thing as Minho turned to Corey. "But you? What a bitch!"

Everyone was taken aback by his statement, especially Corey. Fair enough, back in high school she was popular, cheer captain and all- but Minho was being a bit harsh if you asked her.

"Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that dog thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake?" Changbin spoke softly, trying to persuade the man, but to no avail.

"I could.. but I won't. If I find that dog, he's mine." And with that he was out the door.

The group immediately split up as they had to find the dog before Minho did. Woojin and Changbin ran after Minho, Felix and Jisung was still in the building looking, so Corey and Chan decided to go out to the street and look.

"Berry!" They called every now and then as they walked the block for what felt like hours. "Ber- oh this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighborhood. He's gone." Chan sighed as he stopped and sat down on a staircase that lead to the front door of an apartment complex. Corey felt her heart drop as she saw the state he was in. She walked over to grab his hand, like she always did.

"Chan, you don't know that." She spoke softly, rubbing the soft skin of his palm. Chan let it go on for only a split second before he snapped back to reality and pulled his hand out of Coreys.

"No, this is just classic Corey! I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean you're off in Corey-land, doing your Corey-thing, totally oblivious to people's dogs, or to people's feelings.." He trailed off his angry rant, his words sending a ache in the back of Corey' s throat as it closed up.

"Chan, that is not fair-" She tried, but was instantly cut off.

"No it isn't fair that the fact that you're useless hurts me! I asked you to do something that is literally the easiest thing ever, second after breathing. Had you not been such a bratty bitch in high school, maybe you could actually have paid attention in class and gained a few brain cells. But no! You have kissed more boys than you have IQ points, so it's my fault that I trusted you to keep Berry in a room! No wonder you feel stupid around your family, you’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met." He snapped, this sending tears over the brim of Corey's eyes.

She had always known she wasn't the smartest person out there, and she was more insecure about that than Chan could even begin to imagine. But she had always had the safety of knowing that her best friends never judged her for that- but to hear that one of the most important people in her life viewed her as a dumb slut, that hurt.

"Chan. We're now going to find Berry, and after that- I want you to never speak to me again." Corey spoke in a surprisingly steady voice, as it was low and almost dangerous. They then continued to walk up and down the neighbourhood until they eventually gave up and walked back to the apartment.

When they got back, they got to hear the greatest story of all time, as Minho had accidentally shot a dart at Woojin instead of Berry. After hearing a yelp from the floor below them, they decided story time was over and that they had to check it out in case it was Berry.

On bottom of the stairs, they could see Minho holding a cage with a white and brown dog inside, yelping as it was scared. Berry.

"Alright, we want our dog!" Corey demanded as she rushed down the stairs, the rest of the group hot on her heels. "No, prom queen!" Minho simply replied.

"Oh, c'mon Minho! Alright. In high school I was the prom queen, and I was the homecoming queen and you.. were also there! But if you take this dog, you are going to hurt one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me all you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Minho, you have the chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!" Corey spoke, begging in fact. For a second, it looked like they had persuaded him, but once he refused yet again, Corey decided to pull out a trick she had saved for emergency only.

"Alright, well then how about I call your supervisor, and tell her you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?"

The room grew deathly quiet, no one dared to even move. Minho had a look in his eyes that was hard to place, but it didn't matter because after a few more seconds, he gently placed the cage on the floor and turned on his heel. The group cheered among themselves as Chan almost fell to the floor to let Berry out of the cage.

Corey let out a sigh as she saw him hug the dog. She had done what they agreed, now it was his turn to keep up the deal. It was almost as if Chan thought about it too, because after a few minutes, he asked everyone but Corey to leave.

"Corey, I feel so bad, I am so sorry for what I said earlier, you know I didn't mean it-" He started apologizing, but Corey didn't feel as if it was enough.

"No. I don't know that you didn't mean it. It obviously had to come from somewhere. And we have known each others since we were in kindergarten, you know me inside and out, which is why I know you wouldn't have said that unless it was to severely hurt and damage me. You know how insecure I am about those things, and yet. Sorry just doesn't cut it." Corey spoke softly. She thought she would be more angry than she was, but she was too exhausted. Her voice spoke almost as if she had given up.

"But you're my best friend." Chan's voice cracked when he spoke. He grabbed her hand and held it close to his chest, scared that if he let go of her hand, she would vanish. He didn't realize how bad what he had said was, but thinking back on it now, he wanted to knock himself out.

If there was one thing he knew about Corey, it was that she was very insecure about her intelligence. She was the youngest in a family of doctors and lawyers and professors, so of course she felt dumb when she never understood what it was they talked about at the dinner table. But she wasn't. She was one of the smartest people Chan had ever met, but in non-traditional ways. Maybe she couldn't solve a math problem in a second, but she knew how to take care of plants, and how to perfectly fold her clothes so they wouldn't crease. She knew how to put together an outfit with the help of color theory and knowing which patterns not to mix. But none of that mattered, Chan had hit her where it hurt and he had no idea how to fix it.

"If I was your best friend, you wouldn't use that against me- no matter what." Corey spoke softly, almost as if she was comforting him- but as you listened to what she said, you quickly realized that was not the case. She then pulled her hand towards herself, Chan letting out a small yelp as she did so- and turned on her heel and went home.

-

That was a lot sory..

I hope you like it, feel free to request!

-bentley

[ringobean]

RINGO IMAGINES ONE SHOT:

RingoXfemReader.

Santa Bring me

Ringo!!!

It's December 24th, and I'm already late for my parents' traditional family Christmas meal! I feel that I'll still have to justify myself on my single life, they tried to put me in with all the possible young men around them, but none of them attracted me, my friends also tried to present guys, I signed up on dating websites, went to speed dating, but impossible to have a crush, I already had boyfriends but I never really managed to hang on.

In reality my heart is already taken since I was very little, I know you'll say like my family and my friends that I'm pathetic, but yes, I'm madly in love with Ringo Starr, yes yes, I speak of this Ringo Starr , the famous beatles drummer who's now 80 years old. He's my soulmate even if he don't know me! My family and friends keep laughing at me, but they can't understand... Each time they ask me ridiculous questions, like:

"Do you know that he's almost 80 years old now? Would you see yourself sleeping with an old man of that age?"

"oh, really? What a scoop I thought he still had 30 ... And yes, I can see myself sleeping with this old 80 year old man, he's even sexier and hotter than guys of my age."

"Why don't you go out with this guy who plays Howard Wolowitz in big bang theory? It's exactly the same!"

"it's a joke? No, nothing to do between him and my magnificent Ringo except the mop top and the eye colour, there is no resemblance ... My Ringo is more beautiful, charming, magnificent, sexy, hot .... "

And the list is never too long enough to describe him.

I arrive at my parents' place, the table is beautifully decorated, with beautiful dishes, it smells very good, we're gonna have a feast again, and eat to excess, and I'll have to spend my days at the gym to eliminate all the pounds caught with this food!

Now that we're no longer children, and that we no longer live with our parents, we give ourselves Christmas gifts before the meal, instead of the next morning, I bought some superb earrings, and a designer bag for my mother, and my father a nice watch, and a collector's book about "the who" as I know he's a big fan, and gifts for my brothers and sisters and their children, and i received my perfume that I love, beauty products, jewelry, a voucher for a relaxing massage in a spa, and the best gift of all, two places for Paul McCartney in gold square, the best seats in the concert hall, I jump from joy to happiness.

The meal is going well, we laugh, we joke, everything is very good, it was without counting my idiot brother who asked me the fateful question:

"So, still no boyfriend?"

I roll my eyes, and it was enough to launch my mother on the subject.

"really (y / n) it's not serious at your age to fantasize about an old guy, you should consider therapy, and see a good psychologist!"

"why a psychologist? I'm fine, have you seen a psychologist, when you were fan of Paul? Until now: oh what a handsome man!"

My father laughed, and she blushed.

"yes, but I was young and I still found a husband at least ... while you ..."

"Mom, please, I'll find, when I find! Can we talk about something else, please?"

"I'm worried about you, that's all, we're in 2019, not in the 60's you have to live with your time"

"oh well yes that's the real problem actually! I wasn't born at the right time"

"Because you think he would have spotted you among the crowd of hysterical girls?"

They all laughed looking  at me!

"why not! it's not impossible"

They laughed again!When I told you they didn't understand anything!

The meal resumed its course, and it was time to go home, I said goodbye to my parents:

"will you be with your friends for the new year?"

"I think yes"

"So see you in the next decade, in 2020, hoping that you'll present your fiancé to us this time"

"yes, yeah, see you in 2020, i'll call you"

I came home to my little apartment, it wasn't very big, but it was very comfortable and decorated as I liked, even if I was no longer a child and I lived alone, I always loved the magic of Christmas and I bought my Christmas tree that I decorated! I went to bed, exhausted from this overly generous meal! I was sad because Santa Claus had forgotten me again this year, I started listening to the song "santa bring me Ringo" and I started to sing the lyrics "i wanna hold his hand ..."

and I fell asleep before I even finished listening to the song.

The next morning, I woke up quietly going into the living room, there was a huge gift package even taller than me, with small holes on the sides, next to the Christmas tree.

"uh what is this thing, and who came home while I was sleeping"

I saw a letter at the bottom of the package.

"As you were a nice girl this year, here is the gift that you asked me for so long, I took a long time to bring it to you, but it's perfect!

Signed... S.C "

SC .. but who is this SC and what's this package?  I try to look in the holes to see if I see something and nothing it's too dark to see what is hidden in this huge package, then i open it and there... I really thought I was going to pass out or have a heart attack ...

Ringo in the flesh, in his sexy swimsuit from Miami in 1964, you know what I'm talking about for the fan girls who read me ... yes yes, that swimsuit,  I'm gonna describe him to you so that you have the image in mind, these little blue swimming short matching with his big beautiful ocean blue eyes, revealing magnificent toned tanned thighs, sweet little round bum, a small open white bathing shirt on his glabrous tanned chest, arms slightly muscular, and his hair ... fluffy and sticks out from the nape of his neck, slightly brightened by the sun, his beautiful luscious lips, and that perfect aquiline nose ...

I stood there before him speechless without being able to get a word out of my mouth! He gave me a big smile and said to me!

"Hello, I'm your Christmas present"

"er, no it's not possible I dream, who made this joke for me? And who hired such a perfect look-alike!"

He looked at me astonished, blinking his big blue eyes.

"I'm not a look-alike, I am a limited edition, only created for you"

"But it's not possible, you're an old man now, how can you be this .. this ... this oh my god, I don't have enough words to describe what I am seeing right now .. "

It was December, and it was hotter than August in my living room all of a sudden! I was fanning myself with the SC letter .. Ah but yes, S.C is Santa Claus ... Oh my God, all these years that every Christmas, I ask him to bring me Ringo ... and finally he brought me my present!

"So, I'm not dreaming, you're really there and you're not going to disappear?"

I squeezed slightly his arm, to make sure I didn't dream.

"yes, I'm real and I'll not disappear, I'm your gift..."

"And what am I going to say to people, nobody will believe me when they see you with me"

"you'll just have to invent a name for me, and say that I'm a perfect look-alike"

"oh yeah really perfect, you're more than perfect, yes, it's a good idea, even if I have no idea what I'm going to call you ..." Richie Parkin " (or the name you want) you like it?

He smiles at me and tells me

"if you like it, it's fine for me, I'm your gift, so you can do what you want with me ..."

"really all I want?"

"yes, by the way, you don't want to enjoy your gift now?"

"oh yeah, I'm gonna really enjoy it"

He picked me up bridal-style to carry me to my bed...

Well, I'm not gonna describe what happened next, too much adult content, I can just tell you that the package in the little blue shorts was as huge as in my imagination, and that he made me scream so much, that Santa Claus must have heard me thank him in the depths of the North Pole.

Long live the magic and miracles of Christmas.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

[austerlitzborodinoleipzig]

Favorite programs 2019/2020 season - Pairs SP

Interesting phenomenon here. On the whole, most of the pairs brought good choreo to the table this season (except of course, russian senior pairs, but that’s a recurring issue imho). However, if the general level was good, I did not really fell in love with most of the SP. Good quality all around but less stand-outs. 

6 - Miriam Ziegler/Severin Kiefer - Sunshine on Leigh, choreo by Mark Pillay (vid from Euros)

For Euros, they brought back their 2017/2018 and that was really a good decision. This is a charming program. Choreo is basic, but come on! A short program to a remix of 500 miles! If that’s not enough to get on my list, I don’t know what will. Also great performance there, on home ice. 

5 - Cheng Peng/Yang Jin - Alegria, choreo by Lori Nichol (vid from 4CC)

Originaly, I loved the choreo, hated the music. Now that the season is behind us, I don’t mind it. I love how they chose to get a circusy program. Clever choice that made them stand out this season. I love the choreo elements and the final pose. They have nice elements. They are really becoming quite the pair. For the past two seasons Peng has matured in quite the performer on the ice, and I always thought Jin was a great actor, with great expressions. They are polished, they always have decent to great programs... Tech content may have hit a ceilling (those pesky jumps), but in terms of PCS, they should be way up there. 

4 - Alina Pepeleva/Roman Pleshkov - L.O.V.E., choreo by Natalia Pecherskaia (vid from RusNats)

One of the most pleasing to watch young russian pairs of this past seasons. Only surpassed perhaps by Panfilova/Rylov, because Panfilova’s lines are to die for. Rylov’s lines...  Not as good. 

Anyway, back to Pepeleva/Pleshkov. They have gone through some pains this season. First half was not really successful. They struggled to skate clean, had problems with a couple of elements. And in the second half, Alina got injured so they missed Junior Nats and possibly worlds. But please, check out their performance at RusNats, because they were outstanding there, placing 5th overall. 

P/P have that quality that’s called in russian “tantzevalnost”. The ability to dance. They have that ease and freedom of movement on ice. They have the posture, and the sense of rythm. Their elements are also nice. Big twist, great lifts, solid throws. And that SP just showcases their best qualities. 

It’s your classic light, groovy, dancefloor program, but it’s filled with nice transitions, dance holds, and steps, and all-around delightful. A small gem, and really one of the highlights of the season imho. Check out their entry into the death spiral. It’s nicely done. 

3 - Evgenia Tarasova/Vladimir Morozov - Boléro, choreo by Charlie White (vid from RusNats)

It’s really unfortunate that when T/M made a massive leap in terms of quality of the programs, they started to struggle with the technical aspects. Because they have the best programs of the Russian team. By a long shot. 

T/M and Boléro is a match made in heaven. Powerful classical music. Rythm and effective build-up, allowing them to showcase their gorgeous elements (in theory). It’s a program that’s entirely build to produce that Wow effect. That type of aggressive, take-no-prisoner, kill-the-rest-of-the-field program. A bit like the Rachmaninoff SP which was until this season their best program, but on a whole other level. 

Gorgeous transitions. Those face-to-face squats into the death spiral, the side-by-side slides into the spin, the exit pose on the SBS jumps. The whole program is constructed like a spiral on the ice, that gains in intensity. Their new lift and dismount is great. I like how cohesive everything is.

They still really struggled this season, and I think we only saw Bolero performed at most at 75% of their capabilities. I’d like to see more energy and confidence, more sharpness, more unisson on the step sequence from them, but even at that level it was still very effective. 

2 - Ashley Cain-Gribble/Timothy LeDuc - A Storm is Coming, choreo by Misha Ge (vid from Skate America)

C/L have come a long way. They are currently my favorite american pair, and perhaps the most interesting one. I was shocked when I watched their skates at Skate America. Yes they did not podium, but despite the mistakes, they were on a whole other league, and the difference in terms of performance and quality of the choreography with the rest of the field was striking (with the exception of Peng/Jin).

I really, really love this SP. I love the music choice. I love the choreo, especially the step sequence. Timothy LeDuc doesn’t get enough credit for being able to do an I-spin. I love Ashley’s arms. Mostly this is a program that just screams Cain/LeDuc. They have a clear idea of the type of programs they want to skate, of their strength and weaknesses as a pair. Yes, I understand those who think they still skate like two strong single skaters, and not really like a team. Rewatching their SP for the purpose of making this post I thought :”that’s really the type of choreo I could see a single skater skate”. It doesn’t bother me. Works for them, and it sets them apart from the rest of the field. 

1 - Wenjing Sui/Cong Han - Blues Deluxe, choreo by Lori Nichol (vid from NHK)

Honestly, not S/H’s best short program. Not that original as well. Another Blues program, but with the sexyness dialed up 100%. It works great tho. I had no doubts Sui would be able to pull it off, but Han is convincing as well. 

Anyway it’s the most intricate program in the field, and they execute all the steps and transitions effortlessly. Not even execute. They are dancing it out. I read a post from someone once that the only team right now that could compete on the same level as Papadakis/Cizeron is Sui/Han. They have the skills, choreo, musicality and posture. 

Honorable mentions : Hamon/Strekalyn (Bang Bang), McIntosh/Toste (Everybody Wants to Rule the World), the Knierims (At Last)

[rainyvoidwhispers]

Comeback Trailer Analysis of BTS (Interlude: Shadow)

This is just what I interpreted from the video and song. So please don’t take it as the be all end all. I would love to hear additional theories and analysis’ of the video and song. 

The video opens in what looks like a hotel/apartment corridor, with four doors on one side and three on the other. Each of these seven doors are blocked by a black figure facing the door, eye line linear with the respective peepholes. The only door without a black figure is the eighth door at the end of the hallway; which is blocked by Suga. He is the only one facing outwards, his back to the door. 

The seven doors seem to represent the members of BTS. Each one being a private space they occupy that the fans/world (the black figures) constantly try to peek into. However, the only door they aren’t peaking into is the eighth door. Which is strange, because one would assume his door would be among the seven. It is. The question then becomes which door that represents the two Suga’s embodies his Shadow and which his Ego/Persona.

The door that we see Suga standing up against seems to be the important one, at least to him. He stands guard as if something vulnerable that needs to be protected is behind it. Something he doesn’t want the world/fans to see. 

Suddenly a shattered mirror begins to form in front of Suga and the door. Now showing an empty corridor, with Suga wearing an a beige/off white outfit,  standing away from the door. Telling us about his dreams “I wanna be a rap star/ I wanna be the top/ I wanna be a rock star/ I want it all mine”. This seeming to be a past Suga, reminding us of the many aspirations he wished to reach at the start of BTS’ career.  

The scene then cuts to Suga alone, lying on the floor, as lights begin to illuminate under him one by one. Symbolizing how BTS has started to get noticed, the light has begun shining under him and is getting brighter. And the mantra of his desires continues as Suga breaks out into a run. Abandoning the door he had been protecting, to run toward his dreams. The intensity in the music increasing as he goes. 

But just as suddenly as he begins to run, he finds himself on stage. Almost falling off the edge of said stage, into a crowd of those same black figures; now holding cell phones toward him. As this plays out, Suga raps “I wondered everyday how far I’d go/ I came to my senses and I find myself here”. Showing and saying how BTS’ rise to fame was so sudden and quick. How just a moment ago he was wondering just how big they’ll be. What stages they’ll perform, how many fans will they reach, and then in the blink of an eye they are now on the world stage, with millions watching. 

Even the ground where he was laying has suddenly been filled with hands. All clamoring to get to Suga, but trapped under the barrier. And now the black figures that were nowhere to be seen in the corridor are pushing, banging, and clawing at the door to get to Suga. 

However, it isn’t the black figures’ constant persistence that gets the door open; it’s Suga. Who, with one wave of his hand, opens all seven doors. Representing how the fans and the world are looking for information and performance from BTS. And instead of shutting them out, BTS willingly lets them in. As seen in the amount of content they provide for fans that give us glimpses of their person life, along with the social media interaction through things like Weverse and V live. This is them opening the door to fame and all that comes with it, yet not really realizing how overwhelming it would get. 

As evidenced by the, lyrics, Suga laments that all this success is “terrifying” and how “No one told me how lonely it is up here”. There is also fear that everything can be taken away, just as fast as it was given, “I can leap in the air, but also plunge”. 

As Suga continues to rap the black figures are clamor toward, taking one giant leap together, ready to claim him. But, a sudden thought comes to Suga: “Now I know running away could be an option too/ Pause”. Causing the descending hoard to move in slow motion. 

In these few seconds Suga weighs the pros and cons of accepting this fame. He thinks of how people say there is “splendor” in it, but he also considers how the increasing amount of success leads to his “shadow” growing and becoming a “monster”. Presuming his “shadow” represents his personal fears. 

Finally he makes his choice to accept the fame. Letting the hands touch him. He then lets out a sigh of fatigue; as if he is apathetically accepting the cost of his choice. 

The hands then push him down with Suga ending up back on the stage. Letting out a single prayer “hoping to be okay”. 

As he performs, Suga lays bare his struggles with this increased fame, and the newly formed desires born from fear to the crowd, “The moment I’m flying high as I wished/ My shadow grows in that blasting stark light/ Please don’t let me shine/ Don’t let me down/ Don’t let me fly/ Now I’m afraid” Telling the crowd (an extension of the fans and the world) that his past desires and present ones are now clashing. He has finally reached the success and recognition that he hoped for, but it causes his fears to grow. Now he doesn’t want to fly any higher than he already is, yet he also doesn’t want his fans and the world to abandon him, which would cause him to fall. 

And yet, these feelings seem to be falling on deaf ears, as the crowd continues to hold their cellphones to him, and the spotlight continues to shine. 

Then as the music begins to die down the mantra of his past desires (before the fame) are said again. Back in the corridor as the camera dollies back with Suga in the center of screen. The doors that he had opened begin to close, except for one. Presumably Suga’s door. Now allowing his Shadow to fully come forth. 

The music drastically changes. The bass becoming heavier, and Suga’s voice becoming rougher. The lighting on stage becomes red, as the camera pans down from Suga on stage and then in to the crowd. There a figure without a hood turns around, revealing themselves to be Suga. Who then says the line “I wanna be me”.

The music then hits a crescendo of intensity, as does the video. With Suga being mobbed by the crowd. All holding their cell phones, snapping pictures and taking video. This Suga being mobbed doesn’t fight the crowd off, instead rolling with the energy of the situation, rapping “I’m you, you are me, I’m you, now do you know”. Addressing this notion to the Suga on stage, not the crowd based on how he keeps looking up at the camera instead of keeping eye level with the crowd.

His delivery of lines such as “We are one body, sometimes we will clash/ You can never break me off, this you must know” and “Yeah succeed or fail, whichever way you flow/ Yeah you can’t escape, wherever you go” comes off as threatening and smug. His shadow walking up to the stage, staring the other Suga down. Telling him that they are one in the same, and that he will never get rid of the fears, desires, and monsters that have plagued him. 

But the lines also feel as if they imply a double meaning. Of how Suga and BTS will never be able to escape the many eyes and scrutiny that is on them now. That they should learn to accept it, because they’ll continue to rise on the world stage, and not just their personas, but their personal selves too will be open for the masses to consume. Driving the point home, with the screen being filled with flashing lights and sounds of cameras, as Suga is swallowed up by the shadows.  

To wrap this all up, the song is Suga communicating how achieving his dreams has caused fear and anxiety within him. He is afraid of falling from the stage he now finds himself standing on. He feels alone and has notions of giving it all up, yet a part of him still can’t. And while he wants this fear and “shadow” to leave him be, it refuses to let go. 

The video on the other hand plays with what the song is saying, but also with how the media scrutiny and demands from fans to know everything about BTS is also causing fear and anxiety. Hardly anything personal seems to be protected anymore and the line between persona and self is starting to become one and the same.