#especially seeing the state of those two!!!
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I'm frankly baffled while watching this shit happen in the states as well. I'm writing to my representatives nearly every week about Immigration, and their response almost always includes the phrase "we have to protect our borders."
Which is disappointing to see, because these are supposed to be "Good guys."
I frankly could not give two shits about the border. Our immigration system was fucked up even before ICE was founded (in 2003), and we had multiple opportunities to create fair pathways for people to become citizens, and failed.
Which I can't help but wonder if that's been the goal all along: Create a global scapegoat in "The Immigrant" (especially those from the Global South) by making it nearly impossible to "Come Here The Right Way", and then vilify them for just trying to survive in the Hellscape we created for them.
... and when I say "the goal", I am honestly wondering if there's a global Right-wing goal.
near every fucking party in europe has moved to the right on immigration and are willing to sacrifice both undocumented people and documented/turned citizen immigrants to appease the far right hysteria. wake up, this is the issue of our lifetime, this is what we need to fight for, especially as climate change accelerates and makes much of the third world uninhabitable and as companies use undocumented labour as slavery. this is our hill to die on
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Jikook at the airport
Weren't they lovely?
Seriously.
I thought I'd talk about JK's nails and the 'handshake' seeing that we are once again going down the path of diminishing something that those two do.
Let's start with JK's nails, why don't we?
JK showing up with nail polish on some of his fingers.
A choice.
A statement he was making.
The voices of doubt is what I call them.
We've been hearing them for years.
It's the level of scorn shown towards the numbers theories, the inability to understand that it is a Korean thing, that K army believe in the day counting and the numbers imbedded into Jikook posts in the past. JM's day counting (even when it's as clear as day, like it was during the Seoul PTD concert) or the 8-11 that keeps showing up in the days and times they post, or within their posts even.
It's the whole "that J that 'happens' to be placed over the M can't stand for JM because JK told us ARMY stood for army and not the members and he said the J stands for JK , so it can't be JM", oh and it goes on with "he didn't even think it through when he placed that J there, over the M, and people misreading it that it stands for JM". An insult to JK's intelligence really, especially seeing that the J was added at a later date. J over M. JM. Intentional. Thought out. Executed with intent and reason.
Not everything has to or in this case can be said out loud and clearly. JK denied the ARMY being other members, ran by the J like he was running from a burning building, most definitely didn't address the J over the M. Intentional. By addressing the ARMY while not addressing the JM we have our answer. Sometimes not saying something says it all. And let's be real here. Could he really say it out loud? 2023 JK. Before their solo endeavours. Before enlisting together. Sometimes they tell us half of the story for us to get it (same as in LA 2021 and him telling us he goes to JM's room cause it's the closest to his... seriously, lol).
And now the nails.
JK deciding to show up at the airport dressed in black, black cap with blue Tokyo embroidery, nails pained blue and black. All while JM happening to show up in blue jeans and a blue sweatshirt (very similar colour to the colour choice of JK's blue nails).
And while the initial reaction was exactly what you would expect, I am talking about Jikookers here, clear excitement, noticing the colour coordination, noticing the choice of the JM ring finger being painted in blue, the colour JM is wearing, people couldn't and wouldn't leave it at that.
Not only Army that flee from anything Jikook as fast as they can. Jikookers as well. I understand Jikook's need for deniability, you know, being a queer closeted couple and all. But Jikookers hanging on to deniability is beyond me. Why? Scared of being proven wrong? At this point is there still a doubt these two are a long term couple? Really?
But what gets to me is not only the insecurity. It's the latching on to every and anything that can explain away Jikook's actions as a couple. They will ALWAYS try to explain away JM and JK's actions/choices. Is it a fear of being wrong? Or perhaps a fear of being right? No idea. I only know that it is starting to bug me (this is me trying to be demure).
Once again these Jikookers feel the need to question JK's actions, question the intent. Because no, JK couldn't be that loud, right? It HAS to be something else, right?
So the voices started.
Let's take away from what he did.
Let's diminish from it being a clear statement, another one added to many others, that they are a couple.
And they came up with 2 options, because apparently both are easier to stomach than the clear intent behind JK's actions.
First is: "this was just JK doing the Polished man"
It would be a beautiful cause, and I wouldn't put it past him supporting it.
But...
I really don't think this is what he's doing here.
And what gets me is the assertiveness in which people are posting about it. Stating a fact. No question marks, no doubts, no "maybe it's not that, maybe it's something else". No. It's a fact. That's what he's doing.
The movement is about paining ONE nail and one only in blue.
And there is a reason why it's only 1 nail painted.
To symbolise the fact that 1 out of 5 children is subject to violence before turning 18!! That is the statement.
But you see, JK had both hands painted in black and blue, altering fingers.
There is a reason that only the one right hand keeps being shown in the posts and even articles.

JK has blue nails on both of his hands. He also has black painted nails as well.
Left hand.
Right hand.
Could he be supporting the cause while also making a statement?
Maybe?
Although, again, the two hands painted kind of doesn't fit that bill.
But if he was, then the left hand index finger does that perfectly.
Right hand though...
Blue nail on his ring finger. His JM ring finger. While JM happens to be wearing blue. A same colour tone of blue!!!
Another clear choice.
Yeah-nah. Those are clear choices. A statement alright, of the Jikook kind.
And if we are going down that path of trying to suggest there is a meaning to JK painting his nails blue, other than matching JM's outfit, then why not this?
The blue nail theory?
A theory that also fits perfectly, wouldn't you say?
Yeah, he's telling us he's in a relationship with the one person who's name is tattooed on his right ring finger, and that he happened to paint that finger nail in blue...
And then we have the "it's clearly part of a CK campaign he just did and it matches the blue and black of the CK hat he is wearing as part of that campaign".
As a side note I want to talk about a specific account, those who know know, that was basically bullied into taking a break and deleting posts they made, an account that does Jikook fashion, after trying to find out more information about JK's hat and is it part of a new campaign or on sale (and finding out it isn't on sale in the US and not part of a US campaign while waiting on an answer from CK Japan). At this point we don't know if that hat is custom made or off the rack. Custom made can mean heaps.
We have this:
And this:
And this:

But I guess now we will never know if this hat was custom made, another JK choice (not that choosing the hat even if it was ready made couldn't be, but having it custom made would be just WOW).
Back to the nail painting being part of a CK campaign he might have just come off of.
Only little problem is that his nail painting is clearly one of two: either nail stick ons that don't fit his fingers or a very botchy self done nail painting.
This isn't hard to see.
Bottom line being that people just can't accept that JK does these things consciously to point out them being a couple. And so many times it comes with "they wouldn't be so obvious". But you see, this is exactly what they would do. What they do. What they have been doing for years now. This is their way of showing, to those who are willing to see, that they are a couple. This is exactly the way a closeted couple can hint to their relationship without saying it out loud. This is their way of claiming each other in front of us. The outsiders. Those who aren't part of that inner circle that KNOW. They know they are being watched. They know that every single thing they do is put under the microscope and analyzed. They know we see it all. And they show us what they can.
And this brings me to the 'handshake', because that too is being downplayed.
You have those that will be using this as proof the two haven't seen each other for long (laughable), or those that just downplay it, again, with "this wasn't them holding hands". The usual, you know.
Remember when they hugged at Hobi's enlistment and the haters were going rabid claiming it meant they haven't seen each other for ages, just for the two to let us know they spent the previous night having drinks? Lol. You'd think they would learn...
Let's start with saying that there is a clear difference between a handshake and holding hands.
Clear as day.
And we have many examples of the two of them doing just that. Shaking hands sometimes, and others holding hands. Neither, in their case, are because they haven't seen each other for a while. They are done as acknowledgement of each other, as comfort, as part of their non verbal language with each other.
So, we have multiple ways those two find a way to touch, to hold hands. And for a multitude of reasons.
Including in their post military lives.
So, not a handshake. And not a greeting after not seeing each other for a while either.
Then what was it?
As if we can really know...
Doesn't mean we can't guess, or at least place that hand grab and hold on the spectrum of what it might have meant.
Let's start with the fact that as Yoongi and JM got out of the car the staff member, probably manager, was trying to get JM to start walking into the terminal. But JM stands put, looking towards the second car pointing in that direction. He's waiting for JK. Period!
As JK approaches JM holds out his hand for JK to take. And he holds on. They hold on. Not letting go for quite a bit, even while starting to walk towards the terminal.
To me this was beyond acknowledgement. This was about reassurance. This was about "I'm here with you". About "we've got this".
"We've got this".
That's what it screams to me.
JK needed that from JM and JM gave it to him.
Knowing the cameras are there, knowing this will be seen and posted and dissected, none of it mattered. Because in that moment JK needed that reassurance and JM needed to give it to him.
Not that I think that at this point, post military, he actually gives a damn. But still.
And now they are in the US.
JM let us know they arrived safely.
💜
For 2 months. The where what and how is unknown just yet. Maybe they will share it with us, maybe not. I do hope we will hear from them. I expect we will. Can't wait!!
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could you do any of the Squid Game cast with an f reader who's insecure about her weight? I know Korean beauty standards but let a girl dream okay😔
valid girl, here treat yourself! Lets's all be in denial and pretend Canon didn't happen. 💌
ft. Salesman, Frontman, Thanos, Dae-ho (388), Se-mi (380), Nam-gyu (124), Hyun-ju (120), Jun-hee (222), Masked Officer and Gi-hun (456)
Headcanons. Mentions of pregnancy and fatphobia. A tiny bit suggestive but mostly just random whimsy stuff. Some could also be read platonic I guess. Not proofread. Spoiler-free.
The only thing stopping me from including more characters was the GIF limit.
Salesman
Sorry, but this guy will definetly be a bully about it. Not like your weight is bothering him at all, it's simply a habit of his to go after other's insecurities for his own entertainment.
Doesn't really think that much about how his words affect you and even gets a bit irritated at you being "too sensitive". In the end however, he'll always make up for it with expensive gifts and extravagant dates to remind you of "your status".
Also, prepare for a looong lecture of him trying to express his emotions but failing horrible, talking about how it's illogical to think he'd date someone he isn't attracted to since "clearly you don't serve any other purpose to me" ughh he's trying okay.
If anyone else dares commenting on your body on the other hand? Let's just say he's gonna try out some new games on them.
This man lacks any basic empathy, so don't expect him to be sympathetic. If you complain, you'll get rational solutions, but he's very dedicated with it. Already makes mental spreadsheets to better your workout and eating habits.
In his eyes, as his partner you should carry yourself with dignity, and it's his mission to make you finally see your worth.
Frontman / Hwang In-ho
Is 100% responsible for your weight gain. This man is an amazing cook and loves to indulge you in any way he can.
Still, it was only during your first pregnancy when In-ho realized that he actualy prefered you that way. There's just something about seeing your belly grow round with his child that drives him literally crazy.
He also forbid you from any kind of physical activity in that state, since due to his past he was terrified to lose you and the child, and he certainly isn't taking any chances.
Literally can't leave his hands off of you. Offers you massages on the regulary just so he can shamelessly enjoy himself digging his hands at every inch of you he can get.
Kinda feels bad about "objectifying" you though? Idk I feel like in his private life this guy is very old-school and bad at communicating, he's basically kinkshaming himself lmao.
In his kind of profession he needs to stay throughoutly fit, so he's definetly able to carry you at any weight.
To him it's the most natural thing in the world that bodies change over time, and it's such an incredible privilege to grow together with the love of his life!
Thanos
Dude is definetly gonna call you some corny shit like "my marshmallow girl" unironically, comes up with all sorts of nicknames that are lowkey awful but he thinks are super cute
Picking out clothes for you has become a passion of his and he spares no expense when it comes to it. After all, he likes to see you happy and especially to see you in those outfits.
There's no filter between those last two braincells and his mouth. Constantly comments and catcalls you, "damnnn girl" is already his most used phrase at this point.
Saw too many memes. Says shit like "choke me with your thighs" while dropping to his knees.
His manager lowkey hates you because he claims it's bad for his public image if he officially has a relationship, let alone with someone not fitting Korean beauty standards, but he doesn't give a damn when it's about you.
It's your decision whether you want to be part of his celebrity life, but he'd be soo excited to show you off!
In the end the two of you get celebrated by his fans and they call you the new "plus size icon". He always claims "anyone who talks shit is just jealous, babe."
Kang Dae-ho
Literally doesn't see the problem until you point it out. Explain it to him like he's dull because this man is too wholesome to understand.
A bigger girl just means more to love?? Duh.
You could literally be picking yourself apart in front of the mirror saying "I'm so fat" and he'd be like "ikr🥰you look amazing".
It actually makes him very sad if you talk badly about yourself, since he knows what it's like to feel inadequate too well...luckily for you that's exactly the reason he always knows how to hype you up about yourself!
Also, he thinks you give the best cuddles ever. His favourite place to be is with his face nuzzling against your stomach while lazily caressing your skin.
He's just so happy and proud to have a girlfriend who's pretty inside and out, this man will adore you to bits.
Se-mi
This girl is supportive af, consider her your personal bodyguard at this point (at least verbally).
No reason to be ashamed of your stretch marks, she's got her own from growing too fast in her youth. Has a habit to trace yours with her finger absentmindedl whenever she got the chance, as if she wants to remember every single unique pattern of your body.
Don't try to hide anything from her, she's very good at reading people so she'll know if you're feeling down. And yes, she's willing to hear about your insecurities for the 10.000th time, because that's also a part of the wonderful person that you are.
Would give anything for you to be able to just see yourself with her eyes for one moment at least...
Nam-gyu
I can't quite explain, I just feel like this guy has huge mommy issues and yes that is (not exclusively but in this case) tied to your weight. So expect him to be uncharacteristically submissive in your presence.
"Boobs or ass?" Neither. Prefers hip dips and stomach rolls, a man of culture indeed.
Is very handsy no matter when or where, loves to grab your butt even in public, or sneak up from behind to squeeze your boobs or belly just for funsies.
Is a little paranoid, somehow about both that others might disrespect or try to take you away from him. Oftentimes you might need to hold him back from doing something stupid just for the tiniest bit of your approval.
Will kneel in front of you and look up with those puppy eyes, zero thoughts but all the commitment.
Cho Hyun-ju
Let's be honest, she knwos best about both body dysmorphia and not fitting society's beauty standards. You'd definetly have someone to talk and at least partially relate to.
While she's very harsh on herself, appearances in general don't matter to her at all, what matters most is on the inside - and you got the most beautiful soul she ever got a glimpse of.
Doesn't know whether to be jealous of your curves or just be obsessed with 'em, haha
She's incredibly affectionate both with words and actions, constantly reassuring you about how pretty you are and how much you are appreciated as a person.
Willing to go to any lenghts to protect you from any cruel people that fail to see your light.
Kim Jun-hee
Frankly, she always had the opposite problem especially since she was expecting a child: People shamed her for being "too skinny" and how it would negatively effect her baby.
She'd be so supportive and hyped up to work on yourselves together, suggests working out after the baby's here so you can both become fit! No pressure at all though.
Steals your hoodies and shirts constantly, they're just so comfy especially when she doesn't fit into her regular clothes anymore because of her pregnancy belly.
Obsessed with your size difference honestly, being in your arms with her head buried in your neck makes her feel both cozy and safe at the same time. Also tends to hide behind you when she's stressed or afraid.
Really looks up to you as a person, no matter the weight.
Masked Officer
Concentrates on more important matters. You're loyal, sharp, and get the job done. Also you're quite literally his better half, so who cares what you look like?
You wonder why the mean comments got way less since you're with him but he straight up kills anyone that even looks at you the wrong way before they could even speak.
Is a tad bid sadistic, so considering those tendencies it's only for the best if you got some "extra cushion". With a grip as firm as his you're practically his stressball at this point.
Actually a bit concerned for your health, but his own smoking and drinking habits would make him a hypocrite for pointing this out, wouldn't it? So he mostly keeps his mouth shut about it. You're a catch either way.
Get's super talkative when drunk, like totally out of character. The usually stoic man is all over you, gushing about how lucky he is to have you in his life and how it pains him to see you doubting yourself. It's actually very endearing to wittness.
Seong Gi-hun
C'mon now, just look at this guy.
Literally hates himself and for many reasons at that, so he can't understand how someone so perfect could feel negative about yourself when there's actual evil out there.
Just so awkward and innocent, it doesn't take much to make him wax in your hands. While not really interested in things like that generally, it hits different when it's you. Show a lil' cleavage or wear a tight dress and this man is gonna have a short-circuit.
Hope you're ready for a heartfelt speech about true beauty and how your presence has affected him and many others for the better, no matter what you look like.
Gain or lose weight all you want, if this man is in love he'll worship the very ground you walk on.
#squid game#squid game season 3#salesman#salesman x reader#frontman#frontman x reader#thanos#thanos x reader#kang dae-ho#dae-ho x reader#nam-gyu#nam-gyu x reader#cho hyun-ju#hyun-ju x reader#kim jun-hee#jun-hee x reader#masked officer#masked officer x reader#seong gi-hun#gi-hun x reader#writing#fanfiction#reader insert#headcanons#se-mi#se-mi x reader
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could you do a two time x spawn!reader? If not that's okay:) sorry this is my first time requesting something
I find this quite interesting. A cultist and their god...
(WARNING: This is my own vision of the Spawn. A kind, gentle and slightly manipulative god who's cult so happens to be insane. And a bit aloof as well. If there's a canonical representation of the Spawn, I haven't seen it yet and... I am quite lazy. Forgive me if this is OOC for the reader...)

Two Time x spawn!reader
・You had noticed Two Time especially. They had always given you offerings, whether it be small snacks or perhaps a book. They'd also be the one reciting the most verses... No absences or tardiness for every single ceremony. Even if you don't let them know if one is different, they're right on time.
・Gosh, the amount of offerings you get... You wake up in your soft bed, sinking slightly in is as you lay, before turning and seeing a few flowers. You'll be walking around, and notice on the brown, hardwood shelf, a note for you. Inside? Some loving words and a snack or two. Or perhaps while you're eating, and once you finish, you finally notice that there's a small origami crane near the napkins.
・Reminding Two Time to eat is quite the hassle. They'll come back from the assignment you told them to do, that same slightly manic smile on their face as they run to you. "My Lord, I've finished the task," they'll say, before you clear your throat, softly grinning as you look towards their eyes. "Your eye bags, dear... Have you been getting enough sleep?" They'll brush it off, a slight bit of sweat on their face before you chuckle. "My cult followers' strength is my own. In simpler terms, if you're hungry or tired, I am..." Well, Two Time fixed those habits of theirs...
・Even with their personality, confessing was still quite difficult for them. What could they do to seperate their confession from the rest of what they've done for you? Even with that situation, you were sat down beside Two Time, tending to a few scrapes they had before they grabbed your hand, kissing it. "My Lord, I understand it might be a hassle to do, but could you ever seperate me from those other followers you have?.."
・Two Time does almost everything for you. You're their god, but how do you get someone to love you that much? You wake up, there's a plate of food beside you. You notice your room's slightly messy, Two Time is already coming with a garbage bag and cleaning supplies. Your hair is a bit tangled at the ends, they're sitting behind you and gently combing through it for you. They could never repay you for being such a graceful, kind, and beautiful god, so this is the closest they can get.
・Now, why do you even love Two Time? It's a question commonly asked by most people who even know of the relationship. Your answer? Sigh... It's how sweet they are to you. As previously stated, the way they do your own chores, the way they'll trace their hands down you at night and smile, reciting cryptic phrases, and the way they'll run up to you and compliment you. You'd go on to give more, but the reasons would be endless.
・When you go into their messy room, the first thing you notice is the numerous photos of you and the amount of items you thought you'd lost forever. A long white dress, several pieces of jewelry, and even a small bag of your hair that they occasionally find. Two Time will chuckle softly, telling you to ignore it, but it's a bit hard not to.
・A common occurrence for the two of you would most likely be being in your bed, Two Time in your arms as you lay on the plush bed, your partner's manic smile turning softer as they fall more tired. Their verses made for you that they recite get slower, and their breathing turns shallower until they go limp in your arms. You don't necessarily need sleep, but you'll do so anyway to pass that time.
・If you're sick, Two Time would do anything to make you feel better. Having their arms around you, or vice versa, making you warm chicken noodle soup, or watching a movie of your choice on the couch, whatever they can do to make you feel better will be done. If they could, they'd take your illness and give it to themselves, even if it was deadly.
・To be honest, when the two of you were first dating, Two Time was surprisingly... Shy? The slightest touch on their shoulder would make them blush, a compliment would turn them bashful, and a kiss would make them cover their face and squeal quietly due to your status as a God. Two Time felt as if you were just pitying them... Well, thankfully, now that you're in the later stages of dating, they're more confident.
I hope you enjoyed it. It was a bit new to me so in turn, hard to write, but I found it to be a nice change of pace.
#forsaken roblox#forsaken x reader#roblox forsaken#forsaken#forsaken x you#two time x reader#two time forsaken
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okay. so i’m like, the last person to ‘speak’ on certain things especially about celebrities because 1) i don’t care majority of the time 2) i don’t look up to just anybody to be honest 3) those who i do frequently keep up with, watch,’or listen to, are so darn ‘quiet’. unproblematic, despite the fact that honestly? i think everyone is a little problematic with one or two scandalous situations constantly following behind them.
but i think the whole ethel cain discourse going on on twitter right now is just so disappointing and sad regardless of whatever is true or false. i’m not even sure why i’m being shown these things because i only post and repost art stuff. but i actively listen to her music and admire her artwork, it’s as inspiring as david lynch’s artwork is to me. putting these two names together says enough already.
just odd looking at particular screenshots/videos of hayden and her partner. some things she nor he has, probably ever, cleared up. and i get it, you’re cool, you don’t necessarily owe anyone anything but this is genuinely some weird shit.
at the same time, they aren’t necessarily recent things. people make mistakes when they’re young. it’s not an excuse, no, but life goes on- not to mention, people change- and it’s even more weird to dig up certain situations solely to ruin someones life/career. you don’t do that to someone.
but also, some other weird shit im seeing; the misgendering, the cyber bullying, the certain fans calling people chronically online- especially to her black american fans who just want her to clear up about the racism shit , the fans who are excusing or justifying what she’s said/done (allegedly) just because she’s ‘mother’ and ‘ethel cain’. i feel like, its so strange and worrying how even if its still alleged and not confirmed to be true, y’all are really weird for already finding ways to justify whats going on and speaking for her.
you can defend her and like her music, but calling people chronically online for wanting her thoughts on all this is sooo weird. especially since hayden has often spoken up about a lot of situations around the world and in the us quite actively and proudly (thats good), but is ironically only quiet about this - this discourse thats lasted almost a week. but of course its a lot to process for someone, understandably.
she’s definitely not making the right choices by staying quiet but then deleting all her videos except the one with her boyfriend, after what recently came out about him. and in that regard, her and her fans are definitely strange for still not believing victims of his abuse and weird behaviour (e.g him showing his sex videos with another girl to his future interests, the fact that he even has them??). you women, really hate women. it shows. and its sad.
a lot of things may be alleged and false, a lot of things may be true. regardless, how some of you are defending her and treating other disappointed/upset fans is so not okay. its so weird. i always thought a lot of ethel cain fans were weird - but i think that a lot about most fan bases. of artists. shows. movies. books. always gonna have the weird ones. idk.
like i said i never speak on anything, genuinely, but i feel so much disappointment when someone i actually genuinely care about and take inspiration from - or learn from - comes our as some odd person. like w h y. i wasn’t raised to look up to anyone really because not everyone is good, im so selective with this type of stuff though because im careful with what i consume - if it benefits me, teaches me, if its a convenience etc. now im just rambling but anyway.
really weird stuff. exactly on the day i was creating artwork based on her album. strangling myself.
if some things get cleared or are apologised for dont even t r y come back to this post and tell me ‘i told you so’. 1) just stating my thoughts and opinions on >my page<, 2) this is all public source, 3) some of my points still stand, like about putting her on a pedestal even if things were alleged (bc mind you, regardless of that, there were sources to things. - oddly specific. idk how someone can clear that up unless its edited or fabricated. but its literally more than one issue and situation).
dont hate me, we’re all people with thoughts and opinions
#ethel cain#hayden silas anhedönia#hayden anhedönia#why does every unique/‘niche’ person end up getting cancelled after they go through their popular arc
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the people (stalker eddie fans) have spoken for my thoughts and so i shall list them out .... under da cut
the pc on a light fingers route will randomly get a messages when they're going through the airs of london, something like "out of the glimpse of your eye, you spot what seems to be a red mask-- but it disappears as soon as you see it", (herearedragons said something similar to the airs-of-londons thing!)
or if you have a certain amount of renown with a faction in london, i.e. the urchins, maybe one of them in a specific card would be like "oi just wanted to let you know that there's some weird guy hanging around your house sometimes", and the various gifts/messages that edward gives you in the beginning-- maybe a little longer and non specific to the pc and more how he feels about them ignoring him? ok. this is horror girlie thoughts here.
i fully do think there should be a moment like in the beginning of LF if you get caught by edward where the player's agency is taken away. its pretty hard to do horror in an interactive cyoa game where Choices are Expected, and i think the coffin scene is a really good example of how the horror works. auto-lock the pc into an event when they enter their lodgings after a meeting with edward/doing a light fingers event and they have to hide from him. if you fail well. maybe he takes a piece of hair, or a nail, or skin LMAO increasing wounds/nightmares for some time. or there's an auto-fire event where the pc is described to be sleeping but they suddenly wake up at night to the sound of breathing and a hand gusting over their face (scarred from either the fire or broken from the riot) before leaving.
or you know those frank/jasper cards that appear? you click on one and suddenly it seems like they are hunting you down-- if you fail you get injured/nightmare increase by wondering why they're trying to track you down. OR you get a suspicious gift by a faction you have high renown with and you catch a glimpse of his red mask waiting for you to see if you'd eat/drink it.
i saw the tags on thedeafprophet's post about edward commenting on if you went to a specific menace location or did a certain event and i think thats fun too. if you went to the tomb colonies he sends you a note when you return saying that he missed you and was crying over your pillows (jk), if you went to the royal beth there's an event where he's ALSO there claiming to the employee's that he's your beloved spouse of course <3 (increasing nightmares), new newgate is a bit harder but its maybe the one time he's actually useful with a chance to get you out of prison if you draw his card (him saving his trapped spouse hes so gentlemanly)-- and for the boatman, well, why not send you another coffin fit for two?
him stealing the pcs various items would be fun too as if daring you to come and find him. he takes your copies of your novels and puts them in a shrine, some of your strong-back laborers go missing before a tomb-colonist mentions they saw them heading onto a boat, if you have multiple lodgings then one of the lodging cards is replaced with how its seemingly ransacked for things you owned. how can you run away from him if he can enter your home underneath your nose? its not really about just spiriting the pc away, its about making them scared, so in the end all they'll be thinking about in the end is him anyway! and for funsies, you could also have him give the PC glim jewelry since its mentioned that he did so to clara.
also specific quirk related letters would be cyute to me personally. 6+ subtle makes him go "you are so coy and shy but do not worry i am always watching :)", 6+ hedonism has him stating he'll kill whoever's touched you before/replace all of your wines/honey with moonmilk so that you can love him instead of that, 6+ heartless or ruthless makes him go "you are cruel to others but especially cruel to me with how you taunt me so", daring 6+ is like "the next time you fight ill (various threats).
of coursey these are my thoughts lmaoo and i have a higher tolerance for horror than most. i just think he should be hiding underneath the pcs bed or something or trying to frighten/sleep deprive them so they become reliant on him . let him be weird...
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I'm just gonna say it like it is.
Let's not act like you understand why book fans are upset with the show for “necessary” story changes.
Moreover, it does feel a bit disingenuous to state that the first three books are not masterwork while manipulate that book fans “fail to consider” why the books are mediocre. One book fan would know why the first three books are nothing less than amazing.
I can say more after seeing another round of people who do not allow book fans to comment that "tHeY bUTchEreD iT!!!11!1".
Don’t worry, I have the spoons for it rn.
First spoon - how being average change the book fans’ perspective? It is average for you, not for the book fans who think the books are above average (that is why they are book fans in the first place). Is your opinion the only one that should exist that you expect people to act like it? There are many book fans who find the first three books to be masterworks and it is completely fine. You are not obliged to share the same opinion, of course. No one can force it on you. So… why you are trying to present yours as only true option? “I'm just gonna say it like it is.” Uhmm, nope, it is not. Why you do not consider that these people did not fail at anything as this is their subjective opinion as well as yours?
If book fans find the first three books to be more than average why they shouldn’t expect the TV show to be more than average too? You won’t find it as such, but these people can as they did it once for the books. Why your opinion would be more valid than theirs?
Second spoon. Who are you tell people how to act? If they find the books more than mediocre what you can do about it? Change their mind because you said so? Like you did not change after reading them? What is the goal with such statement of your “subjective” honesty? You can speak for yourself and you can find others to agree with you – that is just part of the spectrum of diverse WOT readers. So what with this attempt to speak for all WOT readers?
Third spoon. The most baffling one.
„The book is not always the best material for a film; sometimes a bad book makes a good movie“ – Alfred Hitchcock (allegedly)
How no one in the notes did not make the most obvious objection – according to your logic the first two seasons would still be average at best because you consider the first two books to be average at best. We can use your logic on the analogy that the first two seasons were destined to be bad if you consider the books to be bad too. Because there is no difference in these two situations. Only adjectives are different.
The statement how the TV show is average based only on its average source material is nonsense. We are all aware that Hollywood is full with examples for good adaptations based on bad/average/mediocre source material, right? Why nobody point it out then? Why those adaptations could be successful and well received DESPITE their source material? The answer is because competent people worked on them, people who knew what they were doing. There are plenty of examples so we cannot even consider these adaptations as “once in a lifetime miracle”. Why these so many competent productions could do it repeatedly but the production for the Wheel of Time cannot in particular? What is the difference for the WOT one?
Maybe, just maybe, the first two seasons are average at best, because incompetent people worked on them, people who did not know how to convert mediocre source material into a good script.
It is not okay to excuse how the TV show butchered the books to be the very same books’ fault and no one else.
Also, why does everyone just ignore the fact that on top of the troubled production, Amazon and Sony didn't seem to care either way whether the show failed or not? If nothing else, it should be a reminder that the people who choose what gets made or adapted aren't logical human beings; they're addicts seeking another high.
Everyone ignores it? That is not my observation around especially as being the one who put the spotlight on Sony’s shenanigans behind the scenes and many showfans took notice of it.
Another layer (fourth spoon) of this discussion is how this kind of opinion is held by the boss Rafe Judkins and the book consultant Sarah Nakamura who publicly shared that the first three books are mediocre/average fantasy. I have no problem for you to say it, as you are random stranger on the Internet as well as I am. But when the producer and the book consultant (who is supposed to represent the book fans) share it, then we have a huge problem. Such statements should immediately cost their job on the spot but of course no one bat an eye. There is no Turning of the Wheel where WOT book fans want people who run the project to not realize or acknowledge why every book matters and that every book is nothing less than amazing. Such kind of people to be at the head of any adaptation is a disaster.
I am not saying that they should adapt everything and that changes are not necessary - we are talking about mindset here. When you have the correct mindset, you will make the correct decisions (say hello to Peter Jackson). But when you have the incorrect mindset to think that you can butcher the first three books without consequences, then you are destined to make bad decisions resulting in an average product at best.
And let me be clear that I am not trying to change your mind on the books. I am not trying to defend WOT. It is your opinion that the first three books are mediocre and that’s okay. No one is obliged to agree that they are masterwork. As well as I am not obliged to act like the first three books are mediocre. What I am baffled is how no one challenged your statement that mediocre books means the TV adaptation cannot be more than average at best in competent hands. This is something than I can challenge to change.
Let the Light keep you safe.
LightOne
I'm just gonna say it like it is.
Let's not act like the first three books of The Wheel Of Time were much more than mediocre because they were, and that's okay. Writers sometimes take time to get it right, even if they have prior experience as Robert Jordan did. The reason why I bring this up is because a lot of people who came from the books to the show (and weren't using buzzwords) were understandably upset by what studio interference wrought in terms of story changes, fail to consider this; even without those changes, some of which were necessary (streamlining the journey from one destination to another, aging up the characters, giving Rand and Egwene an established relationship, showing what the loss of an Aes Sedai does to a Warder) and others didn't (giving Perrin a wife just so she could be fridged, the forced love triangle between him, Egwene and Rand that went nowhere, Egwene healing death) the first two seasons would still be average at best. Moreover, it does feel a bit disingenuous to hold up the books the first two seasons are based on as masterworks. They aren’t. They're average at best, and the series doesn't go beyond that until Shadow Rising.
Also, why does everyone just ignore the fact that on top of the troubled production, Amazon and Sony didn't seem to care either way whether the show failed or not? If nothing else, it should be a reminder that the people who choose what gets made or adapted aren't logical human beings; they're addicts seeking another high.
I could say more, but after seeing another round of "tHeY bUTchEreD iT!!!11!1" comments, I don't have the spoons for it rn.
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In a move that should surprise no one considering my love of poetry (which rap is) I went through and briefly analyzed the material we got earlier from Zayn. This will in no way be comprehensive. This is just what I noticed on the first day.
Starting with how he talks about art and creation in a world that loves boxes. People love boxes, but we don't fit inside boxes. None of us do. Every person exists beyond confinement but especially creatives. Especially in a world that doesn't value the creative beyond surface level entertainment. Don't be too loud or say too much. Don't let your personality or struggle or belief slip out lest you be branded as a troublemaker or an agitator. Forgetting that art, and in particular the best art, makes people feel something. It soothes and challenges in equal measure. It is soul distilled into words, notes, and strokes.
Which is where he starts, but it branches out from there to be a critique of culture and the industry, particularly poignant are the lines "got my back against the wall. so much they think I got a brick fascination." I took this to mean that he’s saying I notice what they say about me but sometimes I wonder if they think I'm creating for attention and not realizing I'm doing it because I have to.
“Do you remember every conversation? Cause I been conscious of every connotation. And while they concentrate on their elevation, I've got a round trip to the constellation.” I'm trapped sometimes by the opinions of others. The divide between what I want to make and what is comfortable for labels and consumers. But I’ve got dreams and I'm going for them.
“I'm a convert to the concert. And I did that for inflation.” I’m going to go out proving that I can handle it and push myself to face fears in an industry that broke me. I'm doing it to show myself that they don't own me.
“Cause I worked hard in a white band, and they still laughed at the asian. Left a blue mark on a white flag. Then used blood for the painting.” I left bruised and turned those bruises into art. When I left, I had surrendered to my fate, but I'm back to fight stronger. The industry likes to tokenize and demonize, and I gave it my all, and I'm done playing nice in an industry that's racist. My start doesn’t define my future. (And for the record, I don’t think this applies to the lads but the industry as a whole that never protected him and only used him for diversity points.)
“If my grandad could go back, lad, there's a fat chance of a backhand. Just a young man with his own kid and a wife now. In a new land. I know he dreamed hard, cause they're my dreams, and I grabbed hard with these two hands.” My family's past propelled me to this present and their passion fuels my future and I'm not going to let them down. Their love shaped me into the man I am.
“If it's all just a game or a class. Then I shudder. I hope the plain is in sight of the fields that I suffer.” If all of my life is a lesson then what is it for? Can you see what I’ve had to overcome? What happens if I don’t speak on what’s been done to me or the pain in my life.
“My mind state took solemn in ownership. Like gollum. I got the ring from within, I belong to no column or margin of sins, cause I been starving it thin.” I'm propelled by an ache for more. I might end up driven mad by it. Like the ring was for gollum. I've got more to do and say.
“Tryna put a cap on the lies before they capsize me: agenda becomes apparent as embarrassed starts to leave. How many carats in a diamond before a rabbit finds peace? Followed nothing but the silence: keep the violence on a leash.” Every victory has a cost. Things that broke me left scars but they're not going to break me again because I'm defiant and I know how to fight now. My words are my weapon. Sometimes I'll hold my tongue but then come out swinging and when I do you'll know. There are opinions out there threatening to drag me back into a place that people believe.
“There hysterical with the ego, it's abrasive like sea salt, and it's weighted like a seesaw. I been waiting for the free fall: I got satan at the front door, done the list, and yeah I done more.” Poised in position to do more, make more, say more but knowing that speaking comes with the egos of people at my door with egos. Being a public figure comes with highs and lows. Every up has a down. There are things I can’t outrun and they grate on me.
“You don't want it more? I'm among the best: I'm a guarantee in the canister. I'm a can of worms, and I can not leave. Read the full blurb, and it looks absurd. Have you ever heard of another me?” I'm fighting the demons and doing it my way. You dig deep, you might not like what you see. But I’m gonna be me.
#fuchsia sea analysis#if people are interested i've also been comparing it to the song of the same title on ruts
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I was hitting some art block so I felt like drawing some fanart of @abd-illustrates’ Heartless characters!
I realized I never actually watched the final installment of the Concept Corner series, so that’s what I had playing when sketching these. It’s just so fun listening to the brainstorming and cool character connections
#my art#ABD Heartless#Heartless#Heartless fanart#I don’t know anything about communities so I’m just posting this like normal…?#hope that’s okay#I actually drew Flint and Alchemy like. years ago so I’m happy to draw them again#watching the vid and rewatching the redesigns of the protags was lowkey nostalgic!#Alex you for real taught me how to draw shoes haha#also#it’s been so long since I’ve been in a flow state this was a blessing#it was very refreshing to draw new faces#I love these guys#especially Flint…#maybe I’ll do more sketches and get in Dock and Heartless and stuff#we’ll see!#Flint Solveig#Eira Hale#Lance Lothaire#Alchemy#River Dial#oh yeah River’s training outfit was SO CUTE I had to draw it#Lorelei l’Angenue#Bandy Bellamis#also when I saw Bandy’s hair I was like. I can’t NOT draw that too#OUGH I did get too excited with those last two tho and I didn’t properly look at their designs#sorry bout that#but these were so fun fr#I enjoyed drawing them a lot
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as much as I love batgirl 2024, I have to admit the lack of Barbara Gordon mentions in the whole series so far, especially with the first arc having such a big theme of motherhood/daughterhood and the things that comes with it, makes me soo sad. Barbara was the first person Cass actually considered as a mother! Barbara, although she wasn’t the best at it at first, truly did try to understand and love Cass unconditionally even when she was separated from the Bat mantle! And that panel where Cass overhears Barbara tell Dick that she doesn’t know how to really care for Cass could’ve been the perfect parallel to the whole “is a Mother just being connected by blood? No, Something more is owed/Being a daughter is more than being connected by blood” lines that Cass says in the last (current) issue because Barbara, though she did not physically bring Cass into this world, has sacrificed SO much for her, and in return Cass gave so much back.
#don’t get me wrong I love Cass and Shiva’s dynamic and how it is being explored.#however I DO think you can make an excellent story about the two and their dynamic without Shiva taking a traditional ‘caring’ mother role-#-she realistically did not want or care for at least since after Caroline-and essentially Shiva’s old life and softness-died#although I guess you could say that since Shiva is both reminded of her lost softness and Caroline through Cass-#-Cass symbolizes Shiva’s softness and Caroline reborn especially considering Shiva literally points this out.#I think Shiva and even Cass certainly ‘sacrificed’ for each other and Shiva does care for Cass-#-but it’s not really in motherhood hence Shiva is not ‘soft’ enough for that. And it is not sisterhood-#-because Shiva sees way too much of herself in Cass (i.e “im an open wound” line) so that Shiva cannot fully project Caroline onto Cass.#I would say it is something between those lines. But care and fondness/longing for something lost long ago does not equal motherhood to me.#anyways sorry!! back to babs and cass <3#mainly referring to that issue where Barbara says to Cass “People will forget about me [as batgirl] and that’s ok”-#while essentially handing Cass the title as Batgirl.#Barbara sacrificed the mantle she so loved-the mantle she was angry and devastated and overjoyed and is/was a part of her-#because Barbara believed in Cass and her spirit more than hers. more than anyone’s.#Barbara gave Cass giant leather wings to take to the sky with. SHE LOVES HER SO SO MUCH SHSHDHSKSMSN#Barbara wanted Cass to experience the same joy and freedom she got out of being Batgirl. and in response Cass states-#-“I will never be as good as you” because Barbara IS batgirl still in spirit. And as far as Cass was concerned she will never be as good-#-she will never be as self sacrificing as Barbara no matter how many bullets Cass takes for people.#AND THIS IS SUCH A BIG AREA OF CONFLICT BECAUSE BABS WANTS CASS TO BE HER OWN PERSON SO BAD#SHE WANTS TO LEARN WHAT CASS LOVES AND WHAT CASS SMILES AT SO SHE CAN MAKE CASS SMILE ALL THE TIME#SHE WANTS CASS TO BE MORE THAN BATGIRL BUT ALL CASS WANTS IS TO BE BATGIRL#WHICH IN TURN MAKES CASS WANT TO BE MORE LIKE BARBARA-OR ESSENTIALLY MORE UNLIKE HERSELF-#WHICH MAKES BABS INCREASINGLY MORE DESPERATE TO LEARN ABOUT AND LOVE AND SEPERATE HERSELF FROM CASS-#WHICH THEN MAKES CASS SO DEVASTATED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE THE PERSON WHO ESSENTIALLY BIRTHED HER. AUAGHSHSJSBDN#yes. you understand.#anyways….idk being connected by mutual sacrifice and mutual love. THAT is the mother and daughter relationship that BG24 was getting at!!!!#this is where I shamelessly endorse CassCainMainly and their meta posts on Babs and Cass btw <333#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#lady shiva
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Guys you have to start going to brick and mortar stores again instead of buying every little damn thing online. I am so serious
#saying this bc look I don’t like joann’s fabrics as much as the next person#but looking at the chap 11 closures is truly hellish. we only have 3 of these stores in our state and they’re closing two of them#and I can’t help but think about how few options those communities will have to get anything afordable once they’re gone#and I’ve looked it up multiple times for my own purposes: there are so few fabric stores elsewhere in the state. like these go down#and online shopping will be the only option. and especially with something like fabric that can be a huge problem!#sometimes the websites can be reliable enough to tell you thread count and weave and weight but there are soooo many websites that do not#so you could easily get stuck with some fucked fabric and then what!#not to mention on top of shipping shit can get super fucking expensive real quick#and sure joanns is faaaaar from perfect but jesus at least I can go there and scope out the fabric properly#I’m lucky my own local joanns is staying open but holy fuck it’s so bad!!!#like does nobody else see that buying everything online is draining places of local resources and furthering our enslavement to capitalism?#or is it just fucking me????#god DAMN#also this should go without saying that you absolutely should shop local places first too#but like also I get it bc even one of my local places sells their linen for like 40 bucks a yard which is nuts so just. please as long as#you’re not feeding the devil called amazon for god’s sake
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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Everytime i see that New Girl/Buddie gifset, i think about that post you made (or was it an answer to an anon? Idk) about straight pairings and years-long slowburns wayyy back when season 4 aired.
I'm pretty sure i told you this back then as well, but as someone who has been pretty firmly believing in Buddie endgame since Eddie begins, that post was so validating. We could never (and still can't) know exactly where this story is going, but to see that someone else recognized the pattern and believed that them telling Buck and Eddie's story like that was an actual possibility felt really great.
I'm such a sceptic by nature, but i actively chose to be an optimist this time and i just...can't believe this is our life now. Investing in that clown make-up was so worth it.
Ahaha that was a post I'd made, yeah. It was probably also an ask, too - I've talked about this quite a few times starting in the season three hiatus. The deal for Buddie was sealed, to me, when Eddie said there's nobody in this world that I trust with my son more than you. Because now to give either of them a love interest was to supplant Buck in Eddie's life as the co-parent and earn Eddie's trust with Chris more than Buck had, and would supplant Eddie and Chris as priorities in Buck's life - and the audience was going to have a very hard time accepting that.
Of course I wasn't 100% sure at that point but that was when I went from "okay yeah this is a fun ship but people have the shipper goggles on" to "...wait this actually is a possibility."
From that point we've seen the classic slow burn tropes that I haven't seen recently as we have, sadly, moved away from longer seasons and guaranteed renewals and once-a-week episodes into short, bingewatching, constantly-about-to-be-cancelled formats. I don't necessarily blame people for not recognizing. I certainly don't blame singed and exhausted queer shippers from being unsure. But I admit it is quite the vindication to see that I was right to compare Buddie to seasons-long slowburns that we've gotten with straight couples for decades.
I'm so glad that I could help validate your own feelings. I feel season three was truly the testing ground for Buddie and season four they went in fully prepared to make it canon, and have just been forcibly delayed since then. It's been a frustrating experience at times, and disheartening. We never would've gotten canon on FOX, we would've gotten canon in season four/five like originally planned if they'd been on ABC... etc.
So it warms me to know that with all the ups and downs you felt that my meta and observations could help support your own feelings and be a reassurance. That truly means a lot to me. I feel we're genuinely in the home stretch and it fills me with buoyancy. I'm all floating and giggling ha ha.
Investing in that clown makeup was SO worth it! *honks my big red nose*
#lincoln answers things#hail-the-underdogs#your url feels especially apt today dear ha ha#911 meta#it ain't over 'til it's over#but at this point if we don't go canon#it will be because of something major and possibly last-minute BTS#and it will be obvious to us the viewers that is the case#I think at the very very VERY least#we will see Buck admit that he has feelings for Eddie and come to terms with that#Eddie is more of an enigma right now#I think we're going to get him having a season five breakdown redux#only actually admit to feelings for Buck this time#it would not surprise me if Buck went to Texas#no longer the 'settler' as he himself has stated he always has been#not waiting for his love to come home like he did with Abby#but actively chasing what he wants and saying I deserve this I deserve you and y'know what you deserve me#and showing up and telling Eddie how he feels and saying c'mon let me take you and Chris home#however it also would not surprise me if Eddie said 'fuck it' and chose happiness#chose what he wants realizing that if he does what makes him happy#without guilt or remorse or hiding#it will actually also be good for his son#because his son can't be happy and fulfilled when his parent is unhappy and unfulfilled#and if Eddie told Chris we're going home to LA and we're going to Buck#and if he showed up at Buck's (which is also Eddie's) doorstep#and said hey we're home we're here to stay also I'm in love with you#we have lots of options but those are my two guesses! either way preceded by Eddie breaking down a la season five
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credits for models refs
there's one thing that icks me in the mouthwashing fandom. the fact that jimmy is pretty often drawn like a slim, petite man and curly as an overmuscular buff guy. when, well, in reality, jimmy is actually a bigger guy than curly.


especially i see this tendency in the shipping (jimmy x curly) art, which makes me once again ensured in the fact how badly our minds are poisoned with all that «yaoi» heteronormativity patriarchy stuff.
he is not like drastically bigger, yeah, but still... that situation gives really bad vibes, to say the least.
#this isn't the most important thing to discuss in that fandom but still it bothers me because like...#WELL WHY SHIP THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE#i just don't understand this obsession and need to ship every character you see goddammit#such details just show our state of minds as a fandom and society yk.#I'm trying to be polite but trust me how much i want to cuss rn#you may think i'm overreacting but it's still disturbing. especially considering the unholy amount of simping over those two and justifying#mouthwashing
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love watching weather science videos but like. why am i 1000x more interested in tornadoes over hurricanes. they're both spinning air
#we wanted to be a stormchaser when we were younger#nowadays we have to worry about our health too much to have such a risky high-stress high reaction time job#been watching nothing but tornado history videos for days it's one of our intermittent special interests#stemming from the weather science workbook we OBSESSED over as a kid#would read that thing cover to cover multiple times a week. i was the kind of autistic who would read the Encyclopedia for fun#i actually had a fave encyclopedia entry as a kid and now i cannot fucking remember it 😭#i also learned what sex was through the encyclopedia 😭😭😭😭 was legit my first exposure to the concept#but like even though we watch A TON of weather videos including tons of stuff about thunderstorms and blizzards#(thunderstorms my fucking beloved. favourite weather pattern ever. cumulonimbus my bestest friend <3)#most of the videos we watch are mostly tornado videos. and hurricane videos feel boring to us#even though hurricanes are wayyy more powerful#tornadoes are still fucking powerful it's just more. concentrated#tornadoes to me feel Targeted like. that's weather that says Fuck YOU in particular actually#especially multivortex tornadoes where you can literally have two houses both in the middle of the storm at once#and still only one of them gets destroyed#or like pictures you can see of demolished houses with their mailbox in the yard simply untouched#i like to watch tornado videos bc they help me. prepare. just in case#our state gets hit with tornadoes pretty frequently though not as much as tornado alley#and i like to know all the information for sheltering and what to do in the event of a collapsed building and such#i have a little survival kit in the bathroom just in case with like basic first aid and a radio and bottled water#bc thats probably the safest room for me to be in since it's not near any external walls and also hiding in the tub is usually good#also in the event you're caught on the road during a tornado#DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE shelter under a bridge or overpass#those work basically like straws where as the air gets pushed through it goes MUCH faster and gets dangerous way easier#as far as im aware the best place to be is in a ditch or hole if you absolutely cannot find a shelter in time#if you do not have a car with roll protection then being in your car will probably be worse#NOT AN EXPERT THO pls verify this information on your own if you think it is relevant or necessary i have poor memory and can be stupid#i just know that overpasses are dangerous as hell
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i wish i could just do nothing for a few days straight. maybe even just sleep for a few days straight. sooo excited for constant misery over the next 20 days
ranting in the tags. i would just scroll past if i were you
#i love college.my favorite part is sitting alone on my couch for 4 months straight and getting so freaked out over grades i spend#5 hours straight trying to avoid the urge to bite into my arm so hard i bruise or bash my head into a wall#meanwhile i keep thinking my life is over. i don't have any evidence. for the first time in my life the future isn't predetermined by#other people and now that i don't know what comes next i just constantly get freaked out. it makes me want to claw through my skin#i know something is wrong with me. it's been 5 years. i know it isn't just going to go away; especially given current circumstances#and how it's only been getting worse over time#but i continue to just sit on my couch and do nothing about it. and since i'm not doing anything about it i just feel like i don't have the#right to complain about it even though shit fucking sucks. months of my life at a time just blur together#god. i was genuinely happy last month when i ripped a bunch of booster packs with my mates that i only see over the summer (minus my bestie#and it made me realize just how much everything's blurred together. i hadn't really felt anything lasting + significantly positive#for months before that. that's not normal#god. i've been wanting to go to bed for the last two hours but i just keep sitting here going “um! you need to study. and wash dishes. and”#so i just. don't. which is already bad but i also need to get up early so i can study for my test tomorrow.#god. fucking dreading my lab tomorrow. went to it last week but dipped at the last minute without getting my work checked off#and without submitting it because i got so angry and freaked out and telling myself “man you can just leave” calmed me down instantly#and then at that point i had like nothing done and i didn't want to admit that so i just. left#if i get asked about it i'll just say it was something personal and i panicked. shrug#a part of me is beyond tempted to skip the lab again but i'm not confident in my assignment grades in that class to do so#even though i'll end up with a 5 point bonus on the final grade from taking a survey. but i'll probably go just cause#it's the second to last lab#man i have three whole ass projects due in that class in 10 days. unless my mental state suddenly improves (it won't) i'm gonna end up doin#those the last possible three days#speaking of assignments. we had to do a group project in my bio lab yeah? the methods my group went with sucked and honestly these#people were a little bit frustrating (i get it. gen ed lab at 7:30am. i'm only in it cause i panicked when a different class registration#fell through) since it always felt like they were more interested in getting done than having like. slightly decent work but whatever#but these people? these people asked me to write the conclusion for our presentation. i ask “yeah sure yeah. what did we conclude”#“eh. you can write whatever” ???????????????? HUH???? MATE THAT IS HALF OF THE WORK???????????????????#the shitty sensors and our shitty methods gave us shitty data and YOU PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN SUGGEST WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS????????? fuck me dud#i was already in a poor mood (normal mental illness plus i had found out my uncle died like three days before#like i had talked to him just last month. never had someone i know die before. sucks) but that shit pissed me off
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