#especially people who are not trans. sorry. I don’t enjoy using ‘especially’ but in this case it applies

[blue-eye-samurai]

All headcanons are great and should be encouraged in every fandom. However, Mizu IS canonically a woman and saying so is actually NOT weird at all. It simply means that we understand the differences between what is actually canon and what is a headcanon (or a personal interpretation) of that same piece of media.

People happily headcanon Mulan as trans or nonbinary all the time too, but nobody ever shies away from referring to that character as canonically a woman. Nobody attacks anyone for saying that Mulan is a strong woman icon from Chinese folklore. So why then is Mizu being treated so differently? Why do so many people have such a knee-jerk reaction whenever anyone (especially women of color) says that Mizu is canonically a woman? Why are certain folks actually lashing out at the show’s own creators (who are primarily two Asian North American women — Amber Noizumi and Jane Wu) for simply using she/her pronouns to describe the character that they created?

Speaking as a biracial (Asian/White) + multicultural cisgender woman (who’s also not traditionally feminine but still very much identifies as a woman), I rarely ever get to see characters like myself represented in media at all — much less in well written media. Women of color (including cishet ones) rarely ever get to see themselves as the main character in a story that directly speaks to our own lived experiences, especially ones where we are not being fetishized and stereotyped. The fact that this series was primarily created by two women of color (one is biracial and the other is bicultural) only makes everything feel even more authentic and meaningful as well.

Blue Eye Samurai is literally about the struggles of a biracial Japanese woman in 1600s, Edo Japan. Again, Mizu is canonically a woman who is marginalized in society mainly for her race and the writers make it explicitly clear that she conceals her true gender out of survival. If you actually watched all eight episodes from beginning to end, you should have been able to realize that there is nothing “ambiguous” about Mizu’s true gender identity.

Yes, this show has queer elements in it, but that does not make it a queer story. Being a biracial woman is not a “metaphor” for something else here, that is in fact the show’s narrative and seeing so many people discount Mizu from the women’s perspectives on the show is extremely disappointing. Also, it’s extremely problematic for white people (including queer ones) to constantly apply their modern day western views and terminologies onto non white characters, especially ones who exist in a very different culture and century than they do.

If non women of color can watch this show and still find things about Mizu that resonate with them, then that’s awesome. However, y’all still need to remember that you are an outsider looking in. This show is not about you and it was not created for you. It doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to like it, but y’all need to stop making everything about yourselves for once. I understand that white trans mascs (and white queers in general) crave good representation, but so do cisgender women of color. Biracial/POCs deserve good representation too, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. Our voices matter too, so please let us enjoy the few canon characters that we currently have.

now obviously mizu's gender identity is a very nuanced topic that invites analysis from multiple angles buuuuuuuuuut

flatout saying shes a cis woman and denying the possibility of other interpretations (especially given certain scenes and lines) is just a liiiiiitle bit weird right?

like idk maybe the kneejerk refusal to acknowledge possibilities other than the norm within such an intentionally subversive text isnt super valuable. who knows

[mossiishroom]

TR! Pili/Mocha Masterpost!

All info is from the OOC Lore stream on 21/1/25 [TALKING ABOUT MY CHARACTER The Realm SMP] streamed on DTownGato

Info will be separated into sections via subject! Feel free to repost this to Twitter with credit! (I have Twitter but no idea how to use it.)

Read under the cut! (Sorry if things are unorganized!)

General Info

Mocha, being a feline hybrid, has tendencies to those similar of a cat, primarily being the instinct to kill and toy with his victims

It was also stated that he is able to purr and meow during this, so it can be assumed most instincts of cats apply to him (Except use of a litter box which was outright stated, he uses a normal bathroom guys)

Mocha is completely asexual, and is somewhere on the aromantic spectrum

He doesn’t have a clear understanding of romance, and wouldn’t do the act of starting a family, cuddling, physical affection

Pili stated that Mocha’s idea of romance differs from the norm but didn’t really clarify what it actually was, I assume well see more of this in character (Personal theory is romance to him is being devoted to one another)

It was stated that he does feel some strong emotions for Pangi that aren’t explicitly romantic but not exactly full platonic as far as I understood?

Also said Mocha could be in a polycule/polyamorous

Doesn’t take flirting or asking people out on dates seriously at all because he doesn’t take romance seriously, even if it hurts people (Asking people out is funny to him though because of their reactions)

An observer and over-analyzer at heart

The thing he hates most is people lying/betraying him

Loves the cold and the snow

Doesn’t have any particular fears, not even death

“Pili is a male calico cat..all calico’s are female, so take that as you will” (TRANS CANON!!!)

Does not take most things seriously, pretty much everything is silly to him

Not the type to have a single home or stay in a place for very long, constantly on the move and changing his home

Pili’s boundaries [I feel this is relevant]: Shipping is ok as long as it is his character, and the other person is ok with it. Gore/Horror art is a yes as well! Just no NSFW!

Dislikes having any sort of attachments, to anything. This applies to people, a place, pets and objects and tries to keep everything at a distance (This seems to have failed with Pangi)

Often lacks empathy for most people

Self-centered and does this for his own gain, and a very transaction person (However, Pili did say that Mocha is not narcissistic)

Mocha is all bark and all bite, he’d fight more if not for the fact he doesn’t wanna be an asshole to other people on the realm OOC as most of them aren’t pvpers

Listens to hardcore rock music!

He had met one immortal previous to being on realms, there is a chance this will come up again as Pili refused to elaborate further

Self-Destructive Tendencies

Highly likely to provoke people into fights for his own pleasure, even and especially if they are stronger than him

Self-loathing, his own biggest enemy and an enjoyer of self-suffering until others get involved (usually this means people he cares about, not so much for people he’s neutral towards)

Mentioned avoidant-attachment style, however I don’t feel comfortable going into more depth as I’m not educated on it. Added on is an uncomfortableness with emotional intimacy as it’s unfamiliar to him

A masochist, does not fear extreme physical pain and often enjoys it (unsure if he believes he deserves it or if he just likes pain in general, could also be both)

Self-destructive with suicidal tendencies and is completely aware of it, does not want to be stopped from doing so

Often drawn to those with high power either to leech off of or fight

Opinions on others

Clownpierce

His obsession started with a challenge from Clown who stated (in a mocking tone) that Pili could try and kill him

From then on he became determined and obsessed with fighting him, uncaring if he won or lost

Due to self-destructive tendencies he doesn’t care and sees loosing or winning as a win, he either gets his ass beat (which he loves) or he wins and gains respect

Enjoys the sort of one-sided obsession, as it’s what he thinks he deserves (Rather than Pangi’s love for him)

Ultimately he does want to be able to prove him wrong but due to ooc reasons (See: The alchemy buff) he’s likely unable to win the fight

His character lost a lot of motivation as well when Clown wasn’t impressed with him fighting and not bringing an actual axe was an extreme regret for him

Roscumber

Genuinely despises her (Quote. Mocha does not like Ros at all)

Purposefully provokes Ros, in the hopes that it will lure in Clown to a fight

Mocha is very aware Ros is Clown’s weakness, just as Pangi is his

He is not above killing her to get Clown’s attention. The only thing that really stops him is that he knows Ros can’t fight very well OOC and it would cause problems behind the scenes

He believes that Ros’ kindness is cute, but extremely naive and that at some point she will bump into someone who is true evil and that her kindness will get her killed

Pangi

Pangi is one of his only weaknesses and his biggest attachment, and he hates him for it in a way

However, Pangi is his ride or die, they have each others backs no matter what kind of atrocities either commit

Although he flirts with everyone for his (and Bad’s) entertainment, he feels that Pangi may have some unspoken feelings for him and due to it feeling somewhat real, he tries to push him away

On the AroAce spec, however he does feel something for Pangi (Not explicitly romantic, this remains unclarified for now?)

One of two people Mocha truly cares about

Pangi’s insistence on trying to stop him from dying rubs him off strange, and the divorce was a test to see how he’d react in a way, which he did fail. However Mocha’s weak spot for him ultimately overpowers anything else

He is well aware he’s a bad person and thinks Pangi’s love is too good for him, resulting in Mocha trying to push him away as it feels undeserving and Pangi needs better

Badboyhalo

Mocha somewhat sees BBH as an older brother, however he does not understand family dynamics as he has never had a family

One of two people he actually cares for

Is more likely to inform Bad of secrets than he is Pangi, because he knows Bad would not have any extreme emotional reactions to loosing him and will not form an attachment to him

Would likely fight him for fun and choose to fight him over Foolish out of curiosity to see what would happen if he died

Finds his relationship with Foolish entertaining and analyzes it closely

As far as we know, the only person who has ever made Mocha have a panic reaction (Occured when Bad killed him) due to catching him completely off guard

The main reason Mocha asks people out is for Bad’s entertainment (And his own, but he enjoys making Bad laugh)

Foolish

Mocha is drawn to his immortality and strength and is extremely curious about him

His bickering with Bad is a source of entertainment to him

Krowfang

Mocha is somewhat protective of her (This comes both from the in character deal of protection between them, as well as being close friends irl)

Thinks it’s ballsy for stealing the bell and antagonizing Owen, but approves and would consider him an ally

Jonnaay

Thinks he is worth training and protecting after seeing the somewhat attempt on Tubbo’s life with the anvil trap

Believes he could have potential

Badlinu

Thinks he’s chill, maybe a bit endearing however he falls into pretty much the same category as Sausage

As in, he likely won’t help with quests and is mainly there to build

Smajor1995

To him, Scott is not even really a red faction member, instead blue

Scott had contributed nothing towards the quest and mainly builds

Others+

AverageHarry dies too much but he at least tries

Tommy/Slimcicle/Baghera don’t log on enough for him to have an opinion on them

[olenvasynyt]

Top 3 most controversial acotar takes/opinions, now☄️

Uh nooooo only my top three? Alrighty. These are going to be very harsh:

1. I have read the ACOTAR series at least 3 times since 2021 and I very often skim chapters every week for posts and videos. And I will be fully honest, I never want to reread the series ever again because of Feyre. I dislike her biases, her hypocrisy, her habit of ignoring other people’s POVs and the mistakes she’s made. I hate her excuses and her blindness and selfishness and how she treats everyone who is not in the IC. I hate how she treats Tamlin and Lucien. I physically cannot reread ACOWAR without flinching at all of the stuff she does, ESPECIALLY her taking down Spring out of revenge. I do not like her as an FMC and I’m glad we have moved past her story and onto other characters.

2. I think the fanbase’s hatred for Tamlin is so extreme and it is heavily influenced by Feyre’s own biases, as well as stupid memes on tiktok. If you take a second to look at the story from Tamlin’s perspective, you can easily understand his actions. With Hybern, EVERYONE FORGETS THAT 1. He was not part of the Archeron Sister’s kidnapping, that was Ianthe. It’s literally explained by Hybern in the book. And 2. He was playing as a double agent, which is hinted at many many times and it is something we later discover. I would go into it more but I feel like that’s its own post that many people have made before.

3. I don’t think SJM is the best writer. I know writers can retcon, especially in huge series like this, but she uses retconning as a crutch, and it’s very frustrating. She has so many inconsistencies and plot holes and inconveniences that personally bother me. I think her world building in ACOTAR is so flat and not thought out at all, and her magic system is even worse. Most of her villains, not just in ACOTAR but in her other series, are not that good idk. She also has a habit of the typical villain monologue that I am getting so sick of and I literally skip the part of the human queen during the Blood Rite because I think it’s so badly written 😭😂

And here’s some random ones just for fun with no to little explanation (I couldn’t do just 3 LMAO sorry)

4. ACOTAR would be better in 3rd POV limited and we can still get the mystery of the world, Feyre’s biases, etc. A lot of problems I have would be solved if we got the POVs of other characters

5. I would like Rhys so much more if he was revealed to be a villain

6. Lucien is one of the only characters I genuinely enjoy, and I’m holding out for him. If he did not exist, I would not be reading ACOTAR at all

7. The IC are awful for how they treat Nesta and I DESPISE THE “intervention” they put her through. It was not a real intervention and readers should not try to defend it in that way

8. This fanbase is filled with too many straight normies who have never experienced a fanbase before and refuse to broaden their minds and think beyond canon. Tamsand would be the most popular ship in any other fanbase. There would be more sexuality and gender headcanons. Trans headcanons, trans fanfics, m-preg fanfics, etc etc. But I guess this is a very popular fantasy romance so I get why those aren’t popular but I should not have to explain why it’s okay to ship ships that aren’t canon, and why people often insert their heteronormative fantasies in queer ships (looking at you Azris)

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

(genuine question sorry if it comes across as spam or trolling) is porn addiction not actually a thing? and how is it connected to terf stuff (again genuinely want to know so I don’t repeat the retoric)

No worries anon, I do not get enough asks for things to come across as spam or trolling.

But yeah no, porn addiction is not a thing. Over two decades of research has not proven a goddamn thing; rather, it's proven that it doesn't exist. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] *note, some of these are more accessible than others and some are more specific

While those who believe in it will present what seems to be a mountain of evidence for it, their evidence is often unscientific or unreliable or uses flawed measures or uses incredibly small sample sizes, including a sample of 1 in some cases.

The actual scientific consensus is that while excessive watching of porn can be a bad habit and can negatively impact your life, you can't become addicted to it the way that you can with things like alcohol. Things like alcohol addiction or tobacco addiction are related to a significant change in the neuronal transmission in your brain. Like certain drugs mimic certain neurotransmitters and impact the neuro-receptors on either side of a synapse.

Porn doesn't do that. Or moreso, porn is not unique in how it can change your brain chemistry. Someone who spends twelve hours a day seven days a week watching reality TV doesn't have a habit inherently different to someone who spends the same amount of time watching porn.

Often excessive watching of porn is a symptom of a larger issue such as depression. Many of those who self-report as porn addicts match the primary diagnosis of depression.

Also, within research, it is often found that those who self-report a porn addiction watch the same amount of or less of porn as someone who doesn't report it, mostly because a lot of it is related to shame and guilt and not addictive behaviour.

Porn addiction as an idea is most often rooted in religiosity and not science.

It can also be rooted in terfism. Because terfs hate porn.

Their arguments against porn boil down to the idea that women cannot and should not have sexual autonomy. They dress it up obviously, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a misogynist.

Almost any argument against porn they make can be easily countered by the fact that all their criticisms occur in every industry that exists currently, especially so in creative industries.

The porn industry is not uniquely exploitative. If people's labour is involved, it's probably being exploited or it has the potential to be exploited. Not knowing if the person on screen was treated well on set is not unique to porn, you know how many movies I can list that included actors being treated like shit? The porn industry does not have an issue with human trafficking that is unique to any other industry; it's a massive issue in industries with manual labour. etc.

Point is, it is not inherently evil. Terfs want you to think it is though because A) they hate women and B)

To them, porn equals predatory men (they include trans women in this) exploiting poor innocent women who cannot possibly consent.

The idea of women who actively partake in sex work and enjoy doing so is mind breaking for them; they often rationalise it as the women being mentally ill and being indoctrinated by porn. The idea of porn addiction suits them well because they believe porn is inherently evil like men are.

Terfs can't perceive any situation where women are not being actively victimised by men. They are always the victims and they always need protection from men who are inherently evil and inherently predatory.

They're misogynists and idiots (and very often very racist though that's not currently relevant).

I don't know how coherent this is. It is approaching the time I go to sleep so it might be very rambly. I hope it was helpful anyway. Feel free to ask for clarification that I'll reply to in the morning.

[psychabolition]

if this is too much please don’t feel pressured to answer. i just have a lot of thoughts about antipsychiarty and idrk where i stand

because, like. ive been in really bad places before and then they hospitalized me and like that was *bad*, right, i still believe thats bad

but the hospitalization put me on meds and OBVIOUDLY I DONT THINK PEOPLE SJOULD BE FORCED ON MEDS ITS UP TO THEM but also i consider my meds to be life-saving. because i no longer want to die. because i can stop having panic attacks. because there is an amount of feeling… not even good! just okay! that i never had before

and ive been in therapy that i hated and therapy that didnt work and the hospital doctor called me a “psycho”. but i also have a therapist now that i love. i consider him a friend. they don’t try to fix me or anything but i just, like. i go to therapy and it helps?

and i want to go into psychology. not psychiatry but psychology, because i want to do for other people what my therapist does for me, and i want to help people, and i want to learn about brains- the “normal” (which doesnt really exist) and the abnormal-

and i say that i am a system. and that i am autistic. that i have depression and anxiety. because it helps me to have language to understand myself. to be able to explain certain complixities of my humanity in less words than it should take and yes it misses out on the nuance but it helps, too, i think. learning i was autistic helped me.

so idk. i want to be anti-psych. because of the medical abuse and the usage of diagnoses to undermine people’s feelings. but can i be antipsych and love my medication. can i be antipsych and want to be a therapist. can i be antipsych and enjoy having labels to use for myself because it helps me learn to love whats in the mirror.

and if i cant be antipsych and all these things, then am i propsych? and for the very system that destorys and abuses and traumatizes people?

sorry for all this

im just confused

and scared.

I mean first off Im just one person whos anti psych and everyone whos anti psych will have different opinions on these subjects .

The most common anti psych stance on meds is that we should have full autonomy in choosing to take medication and in choosing not to take any meds. -this is not what reality looks like rn. Especially people with very stigmatized labels like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder are coerced into taking meds /literally forced on meds trough physical violence and coerced into staying on meds that harm them. And then other people -like for example people who are trans or nonbinary who want to transition are put through a dehumanizing process of pathologization of their queerness just to get access to HRT and then theyre still often denied access to gender affirming care . Both is awful . We always know who we are and what we need best. We deserve full autonomy on our decisions,always. You can obviously take meds yourself and be anti psych thats not a contradiction at all.

Also a lot of people who are anti psych reject the biomedical model (=mental health is the same as physical health - this includes words like Symptom/disorder and diagnosis labels like depression anxiety autism schizophrenia etc) since there is no scientific basis for calling our mental distress / neurodivergency a disorder or an illness and our diagnoses are just descriptive labels that say nothing about the cause of our suffering/behavior/feelings/ourselves in general . There has never been found a chemical imbalance, genetic defect or biomarker for our experiences of distress/neurodiversity .they came to These conclusions through their own Research .its insane that the biomedical model is still talked about as If its scientific fact, it is disproven and inherently contradictory . I highly recommend reading into current anti psych/Mad studies literature to understand how this oppressive system of hegemonic psychology operates in our current neoliberal society and why the biomedical model is still used today to diagnose us as "ill" and "treat" us . This is my perspective on the matter.

But honestly, i wont ever tell someone what words to use to describe their own experiences, how they should think about themselves and who they are - thats what psychologists do . Im not interested in doing that at all . Use the language you seem fit to describe yourself - i just recommend reading into different frameworks of interpreting your own experiences before you conclude that the biomedical model is the one that makes the most sense to you.

This is a different framework based on marxist theory

This is a different framework based on the disability rights movement

This is the biomedical model explained

Resources for psych abolition (harm reduction Guides, Mad studies, Zines ... )

This is a PDF to a book that goes in depth about the biomedical model and how the psychiatric system and its ideology is still extremely oppressive today

One thing that i firmly believe, that a lot of other people who are also anti psych dont share the same view on, is that Im convinced that you can not be against psychiatric violence and then become part of this oppressive system yourself. To me thats like becoming a cop to stop police brutality 💀Give me a Break

Thank you for your ask ! I highly highly recommend reading more into the subject of mad studies/psych abolition before dedicating energy time and money into being part of a system that youll probably despise in the end . (💀i have a degree in psychology by the way so i speak from experience)

[quinloki]

Kinktober 2023 - Finale

For today something a little... desperate.

Character: Izou, Marco, Thatch, Ace Reader: non-binary/afab Warnings: oral of both kinds, anal fingering, partial devil fruit transformation, brat-tamer getting topped, juggling five people was difficult -- Not edited or reviewed, sorry for how raw this might be!

Summary: Now there's all five - ends a little abruptly, but I needed to be done with it tonight cause I start NaNoWriMo tomorrow. Next Kinktober I might just re-write all these to flesh them out a little more >.>

Notes: It was an experience doing Kinktober like this for the first time. 25 of 31 items completed isn't a bad first go, especially with everything else that popped up in life and all.

1745 words

You came down from your earlier high and found yourself sitting in Marco’s lap. Ace and Izou were knelt on pillows, stomachs on Marco’s bed, bare asses in the air. Thatch was knuckles deep in Ace and Izou, and while the latter was taking it well, the former was practically clawing at the bed.

“If you wanted to top Izou as part of your celebration, hot shot,” Thatch hums. “You should’ve known there was going to be a catch.”

“Haa, ye-yeah,” Ace huffs, bucking back against Thatch’s hand involuntarily. “I just didn’t think that taking it why-while I guh-give it was going to-hnnngh! Thatch! You did that on purpose!” Ace snaps and Thatch just laughs.

“You need better control.” Izou says evenly. “He can’t mess with you if he doesn’t kno-know!” Izou hisses, sucking in a breath before leveling an unamused look at Thatch.

“Don’t dismiss my talents.” Thatch asserts with a wide grin. “So what do I get if you both cum before Ace rails you, eh Izou?”

“Revenge.” Izou warns icily.

Thatch hums, and Izou’s grip on the sheets tightens. He grumbles something under his breath, but you can’t make it out.

You look up at Marco who has an amused grin on his face. He looks down at you and his smile brightens.

“Feeling better, yoi?” He asks quietly.

You nod. “I… want to help Thatch.” You whisper back.

“Mm, cheeky lil’ thing, aren’t you?” Marco muses, helping you stand up before standing up as well.

“And what are you two doing?” Izou snaps. He’s not used to being at anyone else’s mercy, and his attempts to maintain his composure have him on edge.

“Helping, yoi.” Marco answers evenly. “Who do you want to help, pretty bird?”

“Ah… Ace.” You answer, having a hard time looking at Marco.

“Leaving me with the dragon, huh?” He muses, leaning down and whispering into your ear. “Not a choice that’ll protect you from me or Izou, pretty bird.”

You can feel the blood rush through you as you manage a soft smile. “No… probably not.” You admit, looking over at him for a second before walking over to Ace.

Working with Ace, you move so that you’re up against the bedside, in a position where you can suck his cock while Thatch continues to loosen him up. Marco does the same thing with Izou.

You can feel Ace’s body tense and shudder as you start to lick and suck him. He’s caught between Thatch’s fingers and your mouth, but he didn’t even ask you what you were doing when you settled against the bed.

“Too, too long,” Ace pants, his hips shifting a little as his need compels him to try and go deeper into your mouth. “Be-been too long.”

You grin as you kiss along his length. “Everyone keeps saying that. You all make it sound like you aren’t busy commanders.”

“Being, ahh-nngh, being understanding, isn’t go-going to save you.” Izou manages, a soft, shivering moan escaping his lips despite his best efforts.

“For someone not normally in this position, you’re enjoying yourself.” Thatch muses. “I wonder if me an’ Marco can’t push you over the edge before the brat loses?”

“Don’t you- Ahhhnnngh! Mar-Marco!” Izou gasps. “Trans-Transforming your tongue is che-cheating!” Izou’s hands were on Marco’s shoulders, and the doctor had an iron grip on Izou’s hips. Regardless of whatever the repercussions would be for forcing the primary dom in your little group to cum whether he wanted to or not, it was too hot for any of you to care.

The idea of Marco transforming just his tongue was driving into your brain, however, over everything else. You hummed against Ace’s cock, sucking and licking with a stronger need, fingers trailing heavily down the backs of his thighs.

“Hey, hey, don’t… duh… don’t – st-stop.” Ace’s voice shifts from pleading to airy, hands holding onto the bedding for dear life. You can feel his body tensing and trembling, and you know half the reason he’s losing control is because he’s keeping his flames under control.

“Seas and gods it’s too long.” Izou huffs, blood rushing under his skin and flushing his usually pale complexion red. “I can’t-.”

“I’m gonna cum!” Ace gasps.

“-better not spill a drop, bastard bird!” Izou growls. You can hear his words as Ace twitches in your mouth, cumming hot and fast as you focus on swallowing it all. Each twitch of your throat makes him gasp and squirm, caught between your mouth and Thatch’s fingers.

“Well, that was effectively a tie.” Thatch says, amusement dripping from his voice.

“You’re all on choppy water.” Izou grumbles, trying not to sound as satisfied as he is.

“You liked it, yoi.” Marco asserts as Izou steps away. You look over when Ace crumples to the floor to catch his breath and see Marco’s long phoenix tongue snake out from between his lips and wiggle at Izou.

Your hands go over your face, and you look away much faster than you mean to. You can feel the heat rushing through your body and the silence in the room means most of them have noticed. You can hear someone move, but it’s the warm breath against your shoulders that gives it away before you hear Marco’s voice by your ear.

“It seems I have something you… want, pretty bird.” He says the words softly, his fingers sliding down your arm.

“T-tonight’s for Ace.” You assert.

“Ace is getting what he wants, yoi.” Marco replies, arms already encircling you to lift you up onto the bed. “If you lay down here, you’ll have a front row seat, pretty bird.” He assures you, laying you down on the bed.

Izou lays down next to you. He’s regained his composure for the most part, but seeing him on his back like that is rare. His eye flit from you to Ace and he smiles.

“You’re both so cute.” He muses. “Stand there slack-jawed too long hot stuff, and I’m going to rescind my agreement.”

Ace snaps his jaw shut and shakes his head before he steps forward, taking Izou’s legs into his arms. You couldn’t shake the feeling that even though Ace was topping him, Izou was completely in control. He appeared beautiful and almost vulnerable laid out like that, but it was more like a cat showing its belly.

Warm hands against your legs pull your attention away from admiring Izou. Marco’s knelt between your thighs, and begins to kiss along the inside of them when you look at him. His gaze is holding yours and you shiver a little as the strange, long, partially transformed tongue slips across your skin.

“Ha-have you ever, uh… used that before?” You question softly.

Marco shakes his head. “Such small fine partial transformations are tricky, yoi. An arm or a leg is relatively easy compared to say, a single talon. A tongue without any other part of my head changing took some practice.”

“And when, pray tell, did you start practicing that?” Izou questions as Ace starts to push into him. “Ah, here, let me hold this.” He says, grabbing one of his legs and adjusting the angle for Ace a little.

Marco’s eyes shift from Izou back to yours. “Couple o’ years.” He answers pointedly and you hear Izou grunt.

The doctor’s long fingers spread your labia as he puts one of your legs over his shoulder. “Watch Izou, pretty bird.” He commands, and with great effort you manage to pull your eyes away from his. You catch Izou’s gaze as your lips part, letting out of a soft sigh as Marco places a warm kiss between your thighs.

He places kisses for a couple moments, not using his tongue, and purposefully dancing around your clit. He just keeps you spread open, his hot breath the only warning before he places another kiss on your soaking folds. Izou’s slender fingers weave between yours, holding your hand as Ace sighs.

“All the way in.” His voice is already shaky, and you can tell he’s trying his best to keep from cumming too fast. Even with the release you helped him with earlier, getting to top Izou was something Ace had talked about for a while.

“My turn.” Thatch says, setting his legs wide so he was low enough to push into Ace’s ass.

“Hnnngh… That’s! Haa, hhaaa-shit, this is almost too much!” Ace grunts, almost holding onto Izou more than he’s holding him into place.

“I warned you it was going to be intense.” Izou purrs, glancing over to Ace even as he continues to face you. “But oh no, you could handle it. Brave new second commander.”

“I – I can, I can!” Ace asserts as Thatch’s arms wrap around him from behind.

Thatch is enjoying himself, buried in Ace. He’s leaving little kisses against the younger man’s neck, letting his hands wander over Ace’s chest. “There,” he hums after a moment. “I’ll stay just like this, so you can treat Izou nice and fuck yourself on my cock, little firefly.”

You gasp. “Thatch you swa-swaaaah-swore!” You cry out as a strange sensation rushes you. Marco’s tongue is twisting and coiling in your pussy, but it’s also rubbing against your clit. Your body shivers at the rush of pleasure. The tongue inside you is smooth as far as you can tell, but the part against your clit is a little rough. It’s not painful, but it’s more than you’re used to.

Your free hand clutches the sheets as the fingers on your other hand tighten against Izou’s hand. His eyes shift away from Ace for a moment to regard you and he smiles.

“Our sweet little flower, look at you blooming already.” He muses before turning back to Ace. “You can move faster than that, I promise.”

“I… I know, it’s just,” Ace gasps, the rhythm of his hips stuttering a little before he finds a pace. “It’s so hot and tight.”

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Thatch husks his question into Ace’s ear, reaching beyond him to stroke Izou’s cock.

Ace starts to answer, but words fail him and he just nods.

“Keep moving,” Thatch urges. “He’s close when his brows start to knit. His lips will part a little as he breathes heavier the closer he gets. He’ll get prettier and prettier.”

“Until he buh-blooms.” Ace nearly gasps the words.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Hey nini just experienced something scary 🙁

A writer I was following for a while and enjoyed their content just updated after being gone for a few months. I was like 'oh cool I wonder what they're up to!' just to find they turned into a terf.

What's scary about it is the sudden switch... Normal content and then just terf rhetoric. I thought they might be hacked but when I read their posts and reblogs I can see where the pipeline started.

I'm not really trans myself but I am part of the LGBTQ community, so when I see those kinds of attacks it still scares me, especially because months prior that writer was a person I could've befriended. While I might not be directly affected by transphobia imo any attack on trans women can be redirected at cis women who don't fit a narrow box of requirements, people unfortunately just feel that its ok to be violent to trans women.

Sorry to rant on here and bring the mood down but I didn't know who else to tell and it feels like I'm recovering from the aftermath of being drenched in ice water.

Oh it’s alright, I rant a lot myself as well. And sadly, it isn’t that uncommon for content creators to be completely different than how they present themselves. A lot of the hsr voice actors are also…. Let’s not talk about it. Anyhow, it affected me a lot to see way too many of them being such cruel people that I changed to cn voice. It’s alright to feel betrayed, or sad, angry, whatever, no need to think it’s pathetic or something, it’s normal. You used to like them after all. It will take some time, so dont rush, and take that all the time you’ll need to get used to the change.

I don’t know if many of you watch V-tubers, but a friend of mine did and she was very devastated at what Luca did (from Nijisanji I think, I forgot his last name) and they started having grudges against people with his name afterwards (funny but also sad)

I had to look up what it meant, and it’s basically discrimination against trans woman? Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not familiar with all those terms. But judging by the rest of your text, it must be true. It’s literally so dumb. The audacity they think they have to meddle in someone else’s life, to tell them how they should live to fit their own narrow-minded world view

Everyone is special and unique in their own way, and anyone has their own story to tell or write. There might be stories that are similar, and that’s okay because there will still be some things that are different. But no one should ever let someone else decide and write down their story for them.

I don’t have anyone in my close circle who’s a trans woman, though I’ve met some in passing, and honestly they are such wonderful people, such confident woman. I’ve always wanted to be very assertive, yet due to how I was raised I sometimes find it hard to take action without hesitation when I feel like ‘it’s embarrassing’ or ‘I’ll lose face’. But those woman, maybe because they have hardened against all this disrespect, are so self confident and loud, in a good way. Really, they are amazing, such beautiful and powerful women.

[bisexualseraphim]

Alright fine I’m gonna speak my mind.

My cis followers, listen up:

Being attracted to trans people is not inherently a fetish. The way you speak about trans people CAN be fetishistic, but 99% of the time when I see cis people calling out trans fetishism it’s literally just. Someone being really horny for a trans person. That’s not inherently fetishistic.

Sorry but it actually hurts me a little when I see cis people claim that a content creator is being fetishistic for drawing a trans guy with tits and a pussy, or for writing smut where a trans guy really enjoys using his pussy for sex, or God forbid said trans guy is fem. Trans people like that exist, you know. I myself have a pussy and fuck yes do I want people I’m in a relationship with to be attracted to it. And the same goes for many transfemmes who keep their natal parts, especially butch transfemmes.

Trans people are not a monolith. We don’t all hate our bodies or experience dysphoria or express our genders the same way. I swear to God cis people are all “allies” until a trans man is fem or a trans woman is butch or an enby isn’t androgynous or we actually enjoy our bodies or we have a kink or sexual fetish you don’t like.

Cis people: I know your hearts are in the right place and I appreciate that, but spouting “oh this content is fetishistic and Bad because trans men NEVER like their vaginas and are NEVER feminine” (or something equal to other trans people) is seriously not the allyship you think it is.

There is absolutely a conversation to be had about fetishising trans people — chasers in particular — but it’s quite a bit less black and white than hating certain FICTIONAL portrayals of trans people because these types of trans people exist in real life and we can see what you say about us.

I love my dick and my pussy (because I have both — are you aware we can have both?) but I saw a post today by someone I really like that actually made me feel kind of shit about myself because it was a cis person essentially saying that smut that describes my genitals in any particularly horny light is fetishistic and that really kind of hurt me. It made me feel like people think I’m undesirable due to my body only it was said in some backwards attempt to be an ally which is almost worse than deliberate transphobia lol.

I guess my point is: not all trans people’s feelings and experiences are universal. Call out obvious transphobia when you see it, yes, but please stop speaking for us about complex situations you just can’t fully understand unless you’re trans. Trans identities and experiences can be so much more complicated than what mainstream celebrities and articles will tell you and I just really need cis people to stop behaving as though the issues we face are a quick and easy fix. It never is. Sometimes the best allyship is to listen to how WE feel and take it into consideration instead of saying whatever you think we want you to say — because a lot of the time, we don’t.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Just to throw in a couple points real quick (because I can never keep an opinion to myself 😔 sorry), I personally kind of dislike the idea of a male and female gaze — not because I disagree with the concept of fetishism and objectification existing, they ABSOLUTELY do, but because of what people, particularly online, have come to accept they mean.

There has recently been discourse surrounding Love Lies Bleeding, a film created almost solely by queer women, “catering to the male gaze” which… I’m sure I don’t need to explain how silly that is lmao. I think this new wave of leftists clutching their pearls over literally any sign of sexual attraction and considering it to be synonymous with objectification has distorted people’s views of what these terms actually mean and have resulted in their gross misuse. Not to make this about me 💅🏻 but I see a lot of this similar discourse about trans people BY CIS PEOPLE whom are trying to be good allies by basically claiming that any sign of sexual attraction towards a trans person’s body is inherently fetishistic which I can’t lie… I kind of consider to be transphobic itself lol? You’re allowed to be sexually attracted to trans people and express that, no matter how their bodies look! The point at which it becomes fetishistic relies primarily on the WAY you express that and the language used — and I think that can apply to queer people in general too. I personally (and others may feel differently!) have zero issue with cis people enjoying trans NSFW content, and I also have no problem with straight women enjoying MLM content; because most of the time, I can tell from the LANGUAGE they use whether or not they are fetishising.

Point being, fetishism and objectification can go ALL ways and I don’t think people need to give excuses as to why they enjoy a certain type of content as long as it isn’t actively harming anyone. But I obviously can’t speak for everyone (especially queer women, I only identified as one for a year or two when I was a preteen lol) and people’s experiences tend to shape their opinions on these things 😅

Right and that's why I firmly stand behind my initial post about how it's no one's job to police people for what kind of content they consume! Because we don't know their motivations for how ot why they personally are interacting/consuming the work. It's incredibly easy to write off all enjoyment of a specific brand of content as fetishizing or sexualization when in reality, for the consumer it isn't that at all. My only point on the last ask was that sometimes, sometimes, it's easy to actually be doing exactly that (fetishizing etc) and not realizing it.

Intentions matter absolutely, but they're not the be-all-end-all of reality. It's like if I as a white person were to say something racist without realizing it was racist. That doesn't negate the racism, and it doesn't absolve me of my culpability, because my ignorance to my actions doesn't supercede my impact. You can be guilty of something without knowing that you are, and that's something you as person have to evaluate and confront on a personal basis. That was my only point in relation to what that anon said.

Again to reiterate, that is NOT saying that everyone who prefers queer work to straight work is guilty of that, because they're not. Full stop. And that alone is why I don't think anyone has or should have the authority to pass judgment on who can and can't consume certain kinds of media. Because, like you said, then you start wading into the murky waters of painting everyone with a broad brush, throwing accusations around that are universally damning despite not actually being universally true. And considering we're living in a period where puritan anti-sex brainrot is on the rise (alongside a deeply unsettling culture of condemnation over every little thing), opening that door can become very dangerous very fast. We're seeing it already.

I will tack on just as a thought regarding the trans character issue, I think that's kind of a perfect example of all these ideas aligning. Just in the most bare bones way of putting it: there is nothing inherently fetishizing about a cis person enjoying work including trans characters. There's nothing inherently fetishizing about a cis person enjoying, specifically, smut involving trans characters. There is nothing inherently fetishizing about a cis person preferring trans character stories over other kinds of media. However, if all they as a cis person consume is extremely sexualized renditions of trans characters, if their only interest in trans characters is porn - generally mostly devoid of complex storylines that create a fully rounded character -, then yeah I do think that's something they on an individual basis need to evaluate about themselves, because it's the difference between having a sexual attraction to a subsection of people versus seeing those same people as purely sexual objects. Does that make sense?

Same can be true for any other queer content being consumed by people that aren't historically the target audience.

But again, it's not really anyone else's place to make that call for anyone else.

[dadsdaugther]

"Protect trans men, women and people 🏳️‍⚧️"

yet ur a porn addict and the porn industry is especially dangerous and traumatic for transwomen Lolllll dumb ass white cis bitch. stop adding shit to ur pinned to get brownie points😭 u sit on tumblr acting like a child for literal pedophiles ur the worst of the worst. ur ugly ur annoying ur a freak and no woman would ever glance ur way irl. enjoy ur 30 notes a post u fucking loser.

hiiiiii <3 I’m sorry you think that but I’m glad you took it off anon. That’s very brave of you. I never use time to defend myself bc I know who I am. But I recommend anyone that they block me if they feel uncomfortable with what I do 🩷 I don’t wish for anyone to be on this blog and feel uncomfortable. Pls take of yourself 💖

and are you seriously teasing me about having 30 notes ??? I don’t really get it tbh. Like are you saying I’m a loser bc I don’t have enough notes ???

<3 I’m a fucking loser <3 what a treat

[killjoyfem]

Hello, im a 20 year old learning radfem and seemingly everyone in my life is pro trans and its driving me crazy, i feel genuinely so gaslight especially as im an african woman who experienced really terrible misogyny due to my sex. Including horrific FGM. Even my most feminist friends and my own sister fully supports this insane ideology and i feel like im the one in the wrong for believing in sex based oppression. I need advice on this if you can spare, i reach out to you as a young woman who really enjoys your blog and has seen the worst of misogyny.

I’d like to preface this by saying that I cannot speak for women of color, and especially not about the horrors of FGM. I was fortunate enough to be born in a place where that is not an ongoing practice.

I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is to go through racism on top of misogyny, and for that I am sorry. The world is cruel to women as it is, and you have to endure it with extra perks. But know that you are seen, and that you have a sister in me.

What was done to you wasn’t your fault, and I hope you already know that. Your story is incredibly valuable and if you ever decide to speak up about it, know that you have the power to make other women like you feel seen. There is so much strength in the words of women like you and I’m honored that you’d come to me for advice and that you enjoy my content.

History has always tried to manipulate and gaslight women when it comes to our oppression - today, that is simply taking on a different form. We know, through undeniable lived experiences, that our material reality of living as females means we are treated differently and unfairly and with violence. It hurts and it makes us feel like we are crazy when everyone else around us tries to convince us otherwise - sometimes under the guise of progressivism, sometimes under conservative ideology - but that has been the struggle of many women before us, it is a struggle we share, and it’ll be a struggle for our daughters and granddaughters too. Female liberation is going to take a long time, I believe, and we will see many pushbacks as we move forward - that feeling alone can be incredibly isolating and depressing. The people closest to you will often let you down, just like the mainstream media and general public.

Facing the truth of how women are treated is difficult - it is sad, and at times, incredibly lonely. I’ve found community in making this blog and I have found solace in feminist literature - and soon enough, I hope to find a home for my heart in aiding women in need through therapy, as I’m about to start studying psychology. Small steps, but important ones.

My best advice, then, is to take small victories as they come - read and study, as much as you can - and if it makes you feel better (and it will) help women around you who need it. Even if they disagree with you, even if they don’t yet see what you see. You may feel alone in this - but there are so many women around the world who feel the same as you do and who agree with you - even if we are far away from each other, each one of us matter. Your feelings and everything you’ve come to realize about female oppression - it matters, it’s so incredibly important.

Personally, I’m glad women like you exist. Stay strong. And thank you for reaching out.

[under-loch-n-key]

Not fanart today everyone, sorry. I will be uploading some within the week though!

I just need to vent and rant a bit.

I was feeling a bit rough today & made a venting self portrait piece for Pride Month. I've been out as trans for four years this November (26th of November) I’ve been on T three months and four days. I love who I am and my identity and wouldn’t change a thing, but sometimes I’m so tired.

I just want to love who I want to love. I want to wear what I want to wear without thinking “could this outfit that I wear today get me killed or harassed because it’s not in the norm?” I get fed up with having to conform to cisgender and heterosexual norms out of fear. I want to wear a dress and other pretty stuff again. I am cis passing so I’m privileged. I was cis passing before even starting T because I have naturally high T. So, me wearing feminine stuff scares me because I don’t want to get harassed for it. I have developed internalised toxic masculinity because of it. If I dye my hair I “may look gay” or “would people be able to tell I’m trans?” When in reality, I LOVE being queer, I LOVE being trans. It’s just hard. Being me is hard.

If I were to change my gender marker where I am, and if I were to get ovarian cancer and be in need of a hysterectomy, it wouldn’t be covered by insurance here because I am a man.

I am entitled to love, freedom, healthcare, happiness, marriage, not being turned away by businesses, or by churches/places that are meant to help all and help the community. I and everyone in this world is entitled to love, comfort, and living happily.

We have lost so many LGBTQIA+ people from this bigotry and hatred. It only seems to have spiralled even further since the pandemic or maybe because I came out in 2020 I’m just paying attention more…There’s people dead who should still be alive enjoying their favourite foods, drinks, films, etc. The people who bitch about how we are harming children, they’re “doing this for the children”, well guess what, every time you introduce more bigotry, you are killing a child. Not helping one. So, you can take the “help for the children” and shove it up your arse.

I sobbed tonite in my restroom because Nex Benedict and Brianna Ghey came into my head. They were so young and they are DEAD and for what? Because some fucking assholes just couldn’t handle the fact that LGBTQIA+ exist.

I’m TERRIFIED of dating people. Especially (cis) men because my brain goes to “Okay, is this person really interested in me or am I a fetish to them?” “If I go on a date with this guy tonite, will I come home later?” “What if he’s just trying to lure me somewhere and hurt me?”

THESE THOUGHTS SHOULD NOT BE NORMAL. I AM NOT A FETISH. I AM NOT A KINK. I AM NOT PROPERTY. I’M A HUMAN BEING.

Why can’t I just be human?

Why is it every time in the media there’s a criminal case and that person may or may not be gay, trans, or both, they hardly focus on the act itself but only on the fact that they were gay or transgender.

I am just SO fed up. Living in the states right now is a nightmare. I acknowledge that I’m privileged in ways that not many people have. I am in a blue state (for now), my mother is supportive, I have access to HRT and medical needs, I am white, I pass as a man. I am extremely privileged in those rights. I will never be able to even imagine how our gay and trans people of colour are treated. My heart breaks for them.

How many more of us is it going to take until we’re seen as people?

We’re not ped0phil3s, we’re not gr00mers, we aren’t out to harm your children, we didn’t steal a fucking rainbow from The Father Over Yonder, we aren’t working for Lucifer & if we are, I haven’t gotten my fucking pay cheque, we aren’t taking away healthcare from women, we aren’t taking over sports, etc. I could go on & on & on about this.

I can’t change who I am. Ironically, I loved being a woman. I loved my hair, my dresses, my makeup, my jewellery, the way some guys looked at me, I loved me. Although, something didn’t fit. I loved being a woman but something wasn’t right. I dressed goth, and then when I got home I dressed masculine. Even then, something didn’t click.

Then one day I was in middle school and I saw this girl named Maddy in my class. She was joking with a few of the boys in our class. She put her hair in her hat and made herself look like a boy and all the boys went “Woah! You really do look like a boy” and I was like “Huh, I wanna try that.”

So, I went home that day and messed around with it for a bit. Something felt better in me. I couldn’t explain it because I didn’t know what being trans was or what it meant. I went out like that any chance I could, unless I was around a boy or any preppy girls because I didn’t wanna get made fun of.

Eventually, one time in the store when I was walking away with my cousin from the register (still cis and in denial. Still an egg) the man at the register went “Have a good day, boys!” and we looked at each other and started laughing. Like omg, they called me a boy but I’m not a boy, right? It felt good & right.

You see, it wasn’t the dysphoria that made me figure out I was trans but the euphoria I felt from being called a man.

We have this heavy focus on the dysphoria (which I completely understand for people) but people forget about the euphoria too. I felt like something finally clicked but I couldn’t explain it.

That was until I started getting flooded with Trans TikToks and JammiDodger in my YouTube FYP and I was like “Haha, this is me. Wait-“

I didn’t realise I was trans until about 2020. Before I came out, (Oh, god, help me.. idk what egg me was thinking. I was so obvious..)I asked my mother while we were pulling into Walmart if I could get a binder and she’s like “What’s that?” and I said “Oh, to keep my chest flat. Since you know I love acting. So, do you think I could get one for when I play male roles? That way people couldn’t see that I’m a girl? Since you know I’m a girl who wants to play a male role.”

“Hmm, well sure, we can definitely do that. We’ll just have to see what I have to work with.” I was like hell yeah! I didn’t technically come out to my mother while I was in high school. She sorta just found out because she noticed everyone called me by my first trans name that I picked out and I was like “Uh- IT’S A NICKNAME BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A CERTAIN ANIME CHARACTER WITH THE SAME NAME-“ I literally panicked.

Eventually, I kinda became like THE trans guy at my academy and since she was my English teacher, she found out through the words going around the school. It took her a while but she made it. We went and got the big chop. My hair was about three feet to four feet long and now it’s in the same style as Tony Stark’s hair or maybe even Shawn Spencer’s. Just that category of hair style. Lol. It’s very short now. I remember when she let me borrow her phone and I saw she changed my phone contact from my deadname to my old trans name. I took a picture of that and I still have it.

My name has since changed and I don’t have the same trans name I started out with. She’s still trying to switch over to using Anthony. She’s better than she used to be. I don’t mind being called by my old trans name per se but I just wish my name currently would be used more if that makes sense.

My mother is fully supportive of me now and we even got a pride cake a few days after my birthday (17th of June) because some dipshit at a store a town over threw a fit and destroyed a baker’s Pride cakes. Yeah, call US the snowflakes and yet you throw a fit about a rainbow on a cake? Yeah, okay. Lol. We got it from my mum’s friend who was giving pride cakes away to queer families after she found out about the incident.

Knowing that I have such supportive people means the world to me, but I know in some places that I go in the world, they won’t always be there to protect me. So, with that I’ve had to keep my guard up and protect myself.

I hope one day society will get to a place where we view everyone as people and that we’re all human. The LGBTQIA+ people we’ve lost will never be forgotten and we’ll always say their names. Please research our queer history. We could all learn stuff from each other.

If you’re ever feeling like your existence means nothing and that the world would be better off without you because of who you are, you are wrong. Your death isn’t something that just happens to you, it happens to everyone around you too. You would be missed because you’re loved and cherished. Knowing that you are also apart of this community with me, already makes me happy that you exist because we need more LGBTQIA+ voices. Our light and colours burn and shine brighter together so please do not go anywhere.

Thank you for existence. I love you. I’m proud of you for coming this far and we’ll go even further. We just have to make it through today. One day at a time. Everything will be okay and everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to.

If ANY of you are in need of immediate help please seek out The Trevor Project. They offer immediate help. It’s completely free and you can either text or call. I’ll leave a link for you below.

If you’ve made it to the end of this HUGE vent/rant, I’ll be sure to fluff some pillows for your eyes and get them some nice blankets because they must be tired as hell after reading this.

If you could reblog this so other LGBTQIA+ people who feel sad this pride could feel seen or just wanna reblog it for pride, please do!

If anyone can reblog this too with any other stories about their queer & trans experience or any other helpful info for LGBTQIA+ people & youth, that would also be really helpful!!

You are always safe on my blog. 💛⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸🇸🇩🇨🇩

We can all benefit from helping each other, so also if you are able - please donate and help Operation Olive Branch for the people of Palestine, Sudan, and Congo! Remember, no one is free until we’re all free!! So, I’ll leave the link to their link tree here -

Link to Trevor Project here! They provide a lot of good info if you wanna research stuff too! -

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hey Gin this might be a silly thing to ask, but how did you realize you were trans? Cause ever since I saw your trans Stan and Ford I think I had some sort of relivation, it started with just really enjoying the art you drew to me feeling some sort of envy. Either that I want to dress more masculine or that I actually want to be a man, cause honestly when I look at your trans stans I just feel so much gender envy (jealousy?) And on my last period I had a whole crying fit over it starting, which has never happened before. I just don't know if this is actually what I'm feeling or if it isn't. I've had thoughts of telling my mom and fearing the consequence. This is just all so new and I'm honestly scared. I figured I'd ask you since I look up to you and from what I've seen you are quite wise. I don't really know why I have so much self doubt and constantly flip flop over things. It's frustrating, I just wish I could be certain about something for once. Sorry about this, I'm a mess really.

It’s not silly to ask. My answer is unfortunately a little silly, because I’m a goober. I also typed A LOT so its all going under a read more

So, I was 16 and on tumblr even more than I am now, and I was (still am) friends with a trans woman who reblogged a post that was like “Just trans girl things: eating dark chocolate because it has substances similar to estrogen” and I went “Haha i guess I should stop eating it.” followed by “…why do I feel that way” and THAT was followed by quite the crisis.

Trans men weren’t as well known about back then, so I was like “Well, it means nothing, since only women can be trans”. And then I found out men could be trans too and that pushed my crisis further along. And I started to think. About how I liked when people defaulted to male pronouns for me on the internet, or how when i was a kid I would use a crazy amount of shampoo to make my hair look short and flatten my chest in front of the mirror and look at it. Things like that. And I got upset because “no i can’t be trans that’s impossible”. I would google things like “how do you know if you’re trans”, “quiz to see if you’re trans”, ect.

But the idea of being seen as a man was exciting. It was tantalizingly exciting. And I knew it could be possibility for me someday, and I knew that made a part of me happy and I couldn’t un-know it.

Final straw was a nonbinary person I had been following made a post about how they were going to start taking testosterone. And instead of feeling happy for them I just got mad and started sobbing to myself. Because I was so extremely jealous. So jealousy absolutely has its place in figuring things out.

You should think. Think about attaining the things you’re envious about. Does this make you happy? It’s okay if it’s upsetting or scary at the same time. Change often is. But if it makes you happy, excites you, gives you hope for the future, it’s worth thinking more about.

-

You don’t have to jump into telling your mom right away (and I wouldn’t really recommend it till you’re a little more sure of yourself). You can go at whatever pace you want to. I didn’t tell my mom (or anyone in my real life at all) till I was like, 20. And I’d known for 4 years at that point. You’ve sent me a tumblr message, so I’m assuming you’ve got an account here. I’d say asking your friends on this website to address you as male would be a good way to ease into things. And you can see if you like that or not.

For how you dress, again, you can ease into it. Personally it made me happy to dress in athletic clothing (especially tank tops- to show off my non existent guns), or to dress like a greaser (Though I preferred a black t shirt to a white one), or a golfer. None of those things particularly scream ‘man’ but they were man enough to me. You can find things man enough for you. If you want to try out a binder and think you can get one without anyone noticing, my first ever one was a Tri-top from Underworks. They’re like $30 or so. I was able to get away with buying it because I was a cosplay nerd so I just said it was for that.

If you’re the type of person who owns makeup- you could try to find some time alone just to have an experiment of mimicking drag king makeup, or makeup for cosplayers doing male characters. I did that once early on, and while it looked admittedly goofy, it made me ecstatic at the time.

-

Er sorry for things getting so long. But I just want to say lastly that self doubt is both normal and okay. And thinking far in the future (ie- things like coming out to people or hormones or anything like that) might scare you. But you can take things one step at a time if you want to. Play with just looking at clothes, making outfits on pinterest or whatever, imagining scenarios where people address you as male, thinking of names you might like. See what makes you happy, and expand on the things that do from there.

And regardless of what you discover, in the end you will have learned more about yourself. And that's always a good thing.

[nabibeans]

Burning Questions 🔥

Summary: During an interview the members get asked their sexuality. Now most of the members don’t mind sharing, except Hongjoong who is also a closeted trans man.

TW: slight internalized transphobia, mentions of needles, talk of breast & periods, panic attack , trans! Joongie struggles a bit but he gets a happy ending.

Inspired by this interview:

~🌈~

Hongjoong was enjoying this interview; it was very fun and gave a little insight on who they were as a group, though it also showed a little of their personal lives as well. Switching between English and Korean wasn’t as hard as it used to be when they first got started. In fact he actually liked speaking English sometimes, especially for doctors appointments regarding his testosterone.

“Next question; captain, you should read this one.”

San handed Hongjoong the board, the captain of the group only nodded. Tearing off the sticker that covered the question he began to read it aloud in English first,

“What are the Ateez members sexual orientation?”

Looking at the interviewer with a confused look they held up a sign in Korean; ‘are you lgbt?’ Hongjoong’s blood ran cold. Though the other members had started to answer, Wooyoung was first stating he was gay. Then Jongho said he was questioning at the moment, no really sure where he stood. The same for Yunho. So on and so on until it got to Hongjoong.

“You okay? Captain? Hongjoong!?”

Hongjoong’s chest felt tight, disgust and nerves twisted in his stomach as he swallows hard. They don’t know, they don’t know, they don’t know you’re a disgusting freak. You’re a woman. You’re not a real man. I am a real man. I am. His brain was fighting against him, shoving the board into Jongho’s hands the smallest member stood up. He’d began having a panic attack, his mind racing. Such a question had triggered him that badly? He wasn’t ashamed of himself! He was proud of the fact he passed as a man.

“I need a moment please, can I have some water?”

His legs were shaking, a staff member running over and leading him off the set of the interview while the other members stayed behind. They knew he was gay, they’d been the first people he told. This wasn’t about being gay, this was about not being a man, no he is a man!

“Fuck I’m sorry.”

He sobbed as soon as the cameras were cut off, the sleeves of the gray sweater he wore now stained with tears and a bit of mucus from his runny nose.

“Go take a break kiddo. We can entertain the others for a few, do you need your inhaler?”

Hongjoong nodded, holding out a shaking hand for his inhaler his manager always kept for him just in case. His asthma didn’t act up often, but when it did it could get serious fast. Once he received the inhaler he went to an empty room and staff from WIRED led him too,

“Want that water still? An apple juice might be better. A little sugar, I’ll bring you a light snack too.”

The staff walked away leaving the boy alone, trying to stop the crying. A few moments later there was a knock on the door, then a familiar face peeked in.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Seonghwa. Not now, he did NOT need his boyfriend to see him this way. Seonghwa didn’t even know he was trans, they’d only been dating for a few months. Hadn’t even kissed yet. Wiping his eyes Hongjoong nodded, reaching his arms out for a hug.

“I’m okay baby, can I have a hug?”

Seonghwa stepped into the room as Hongjoong stood up, quickly embracing the younger and holding him in his arms. The couple stayed like that for a few moments before a staff brought the apple juice and some crackers for Hongjoong to help him calm down. Once the staff left Seonghwa motioned for Hongjoong to sit again, which he did.

“This is more than you being gay isn’t it? We all know you’re gay, you wouldn’t have reacted this way if it were something else.”

Hongjoong sighed, pushing the crackers away in favor of sitting on the box of apple juice. Nodding his head he took a few more sips before continuing,

“There’s something you need to know, before we get too serious; I mean..we’re serious now but…like, sex serious. You need to know something before we ever have sex or you ever put you hand down my pants because this is a big deal and I completely understand if you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore but,”

Seonghwa rubbed his shoulder, “slow down, breathe baby. I am not leaving you.”

Hongjoong nodded, laying his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder for a few moments before he continued.

“ so I’m not really a..I wasn’t born a man. I was born a woman, and I went through puberty as a woman. I had a period, I grew breast; small but I have them.”

He patted his chest, which looked flat due to his binder.

“I have a vagina not a penis, I have to inject myself with a needle every week so I can sound like a man, and so my periods stop. I have an extremely low chance of getting pregnant but I take birth control anyway. Seonghwa, I wasn’t born a man. I’m transgender, and if that bothers you in anyway I completely understand.”

Seonghwa only stared into his eyes, withdrawing his hand and getting up quickly. His face was unreadable, but Hongjoong’s mind was already assuming things. ‘He hates you, he thinks you’re disgusting, he thinks you’re a woman’ tears began to flow down Hongjoong’s face again, soft sobs shaking his shoulders. That’s why he hadn’t told anyone other than the CEO; the CEO was the reason he had this chest binder, the reason he was on testosterone to begin with. Seonghwa’s face softened, then he smiled so wide.

“Oh baby, if you think something like that is going to get rid of me you are sadly mistaken. Your body doesn’t matter to me, your personality and heart do. And I love you the way you are.”

Hongjoong blushed, nodding behind his sleeve as he wiped his eyes again.

“Can I kiss you?” , “yeah.”

The couple moved closer, Hongjoong’s arms around Seonghwa’s shoulders while the taller man hugged his waist. Hongjoong’s eyes softened, his hands slipping to Seonghwa’s cheeks as he pulled him in. Their lips met in a soft kiss, deep yet gentle. Pulling back after a few moments Hongjoong smiled, “wow.”

“Wow is right, I love you no matter what okay? Nothing will change that.”

Hongjoong nodded, looking at the clock he realized they needed to head back immediately. He could tell the rest of the members another day, unless…

Getting back on track with filming they refilmed the sexuality question, this time Hongjoong sat up comfortably. When it came to his turn he looked back at Seonghwa who gave a thumbs up, taking a deep breath he smiled.

“Well, I’m gay. But; I’m also transgender. I was born a woman but started transitioning when I was about maybe 19? It was during our trainee period, you guys might have noticed I was suddenly absent for a bit and it was because I was having counseling and physicals to make sure I could safely take testosterone. Even my voice has gotten a bit deeper now.”

The other members were surprised, but all jumped onto their leader hugging him tight.

“We’re so proud of you captain!”

San smiled brightly, the other members agreeing they were proud and that he was still their captain no matter what! Hongjoong only let himself be hugged while looking to Seonghwa who rubbed his head gently. Hongjoong had worked so hard to be excepted as a man by society, now he could be. With the help of his members he’d make a proper man out of himself , doing it his way of course.

[doll-elvis]

What does Reeca Smith look like? I tried looking up photos but nothing seems to come up..

I got a few asks about Reeca Smith so I thought I would combine them here <3, thank you guys for the questions !!

As for the first ask: sorry some of these are aren’t the best quality 😩 but all these pictures of Reeca in 1974 were taken from the documentary “Elvis: Heartbreaker” also called “Elvis’ Women” or “Loving Elvis” depending on the country where you are streaming it

Reeca is on the right in this group photo

And this is Reeca pictured with the Trans Am that Elvis purchased for her ⬇️

If you’re in the North America and unable to watch the documentary, here is a tutorial that I posted awhile back, it still works and I use this method myself !! ⬇️

Second ask: As for any intimacy, this is all that Reeca has said on the subject ⬇️

Since she didn't mention kissing or any other form of intimacy in her most recent interview, I'm assuming it wasn't something that played a major role in their relationship. She has stated that Elvis and her would mostly just talk, and that he especially enjoyed just reading the Bible to her. I think Reeca’s dynamic with Elvis was exactly the same as girls like Heidi, Frances, Gloria and Arlene. All of those girls have only ever talked about Elvis in high regards, and I think that really does speak volumes

However, although these girls don’t see themselves as victims, and while I do truly believe that Elvis never took advantage of them, it still doesn’t justify the kissing. Like you said this is obviously a very hard pill to swallow for any Elvis fan but it personally helps me to try to understand Elvis’ intentions and his mindset when he involved himself with those girls. And so when they all say that it was very innocent, I believe them, and I can honestly say without a doubt, that I think Elvis had good/pure intentions and that the situation wasn’t as black and white as some people try to make it seem

As for the third ask: In terms of Reeca overstating her importance, that very well could be possible, but to give her the benefit of the doubt, Elvis invited a lot of people on tour 😩 and they weren’t always girls that he was dating, for example Jeanne Lemay Dumas who was Linda’s friend and the Alden sisters (Ginger’s family)

If she was invited by Elvis like she says, that doesn‘t mean that Reeca would have been his main girl or anything like that on the tour, it’s likely that he still would have had either Sheila or Linda with him as his girlfriend. Also Reeca was good friends with Ricky Stanley who accompanied Elvis on tours, so that could have been another factor

Infact the very first day that Reeca hanged out with Elvis, Linda, Ricky and David Stanley accompanied them. And in that amazon documentary Linda acknowledged Reeca and also referred to her as one of Elvis’ “dalliances”, so she was at least aware of Reeca’s friendship/relationship with Elvis

** also I saw you mentioned Elvis possibly dating Maggie Smith and I got another ask about her that I am currently researching for (desperately trying to find a copy of this book written about her 😩) and so hopefully I will have more info on her by then

quote from Maggie (Magnolia) Smith 💗

but just from the little research I have done so far, it’s looking like it’s unlikely that they ever dated. Maggie Smith herself hasn’t said that she dated him, Marty Lacker said she was someone Elvis felt sorry for and therefore given a job, and Nurse Tish and Mary Jenkins also only referred to her as one of the maids/employees. Only Nancy Rooks has said that she dated Elvis so I’m still trying to figure out who is telling the truth 😭 like why would Nancy just make that up?

As for Elvis possibly wanting to pursue a serious relationship with Reeca, I don’t think he meant to do so until she was much older

Reeca said this about Elvis wanting a possible future with her ➡️ “He said ‘I know you’re are young but when you’re older, maybe in a couple years, maybe we can go places and have more of a relationship’”

I don’t believe their relationship ever became “serious”, especially since Reeca has never said that they formally dated. He only saw her September and November of 1974, and then for the last time in January of 1975. He was probably preoccupied with Sheila Ryan, Linda Thompson and Ann Pennington etc etc 🤧

I hope this helps anyone who wanted to know more about Reeca, I would love to hear what you guys think, or if you have any info yourself on Reeca or Maggie that you want to share 💗!!

[philicheesecake]

Heya, hope you’re doing alright! I wanted to say that I’ve just gotten back into Tumblr and been really enjoying your comics when they come up on my dash. I’m really sorry that folks have been giving you such flack for your preferences; even as someone who’s the inverse (endo & reform with fatality used pretty much exclusively as a threat/worldbuilding offscreen) it’s absolutely abysmal when people decide that you have to change *your work* because they can’t handle it. Especially because you’ve been probably the most consistent trigger tagger I’ve seen (putting it under the cut is 👌) so tl;dr I really appreciate that and transphobes harassing you can bite a dick. From the endo side here: you keep doin you and don’t let anyone else say otherwise!

Aw thank you for the kind message! This is really nice to hear, and probably the right moment to hear it too. I just quit my day job today so I can flee the transphobic state of Florida and move into a sanctuary state. I’ll also use this time to share this, not just to share what’s going on in my personal irl life, but to show other trans and queer folks that yall ain’t alone. I’m walking this walk too, and we’re going to get through this and give em transphobes some hell and not put up with queerphobic shit. Trans and queer folks make a badass community and it’ll take more than words to break us.

On a lighter note, I’m glad you’re enjoying my comics! This brightened my day a bit. Thank you for reading and thank you for the kind message 💚