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megalony · 4 years ago

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Teacher’s pet- Part 20

So I have about two more parts planned for this Ben Hardy series but I am going to be doing a follow-on series because I love this story and still feel I have more to write for it. I hope you will all like this part, feedback is always lovely to hear.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae @k-k0129 @haileymorelikestupid @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug @ultraviolencezs @kdatthecastle @darlindolan��

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Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.

Enjoy.

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"I'm gonna go and see our baby girl now, they said I can finally hold her today."

Ben's fingers slowly and methodically carded through (Y/n)'s hair, moving the strands into waves and brushing them from her face as he talked quietly in a soft voice. He didn't know if (Y/n) could hear him or not, she was sedated but he knew that some people in comas could still hear voices around them so he hoped that even though (Y/n) was asleep, she could hear his voice.

He had spent most of the morning here with (Y/n), holding her hand, brushing his fingers over her skin to try and show her he was still here and talking to her in case she was listening. But now he had to go and see their daughter before he went home to the boys.

Every time he left (Y/n) here he felt guilty and in pain because something could happen when he left and he didn't want anything to happen when he wasn't here. And if felt awful to leave (Y/n) here on her own and he didn't like being apart from her, but he had to go and be with the boys until everything settled and he could bring (Y/n) home.

"I'll be back tomorrow, baby." He pressed his lips to the top of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair as he was desperate not to let her go.

It hurt that Ben couldn't wrap his arms around (Y/n) or kiss her or even talk to her. He wanted to take her home and have everything be as it should. Ben wanted (Y/n) in his arms, he wanted her and his daughter in his arms in a hug and he wanted the boys at home with them and for them to be the family they should be. He didn't want (Y/n) to be ill and in pain and their girl to be stuck in an incubator without her family surrounding her every hour of every day.

The moment Ben got out of the room he just wanted to turn back around and go lay with (Y/n) but he knew if he did that then he wouldn't leave.

"Ben, how is she today?"

He didn't get more than two feet away from (Y/n)'s room before his eyes suddenly locked on her mother heading towards him.

The first time Ben had met Alicia was worrying for him since he had met her only a month before he and (Y/n) found out they were going to have a baby. He had no idea how she would react to her daughter being in a relationship with someone who already had three children of his own, he knew it wasn't the best kind of image or the best situation her parents would want for her. But he had been more than surprised when her parents had taken to him straight away and Alicia was very welcoming to the boys, she was practically another grandmother to them already.

It crushed Ben more than anything when he had to ring (Y/n)'s parents and explain that (Y/n) had suddenly taken a turn for the worst after he had told them she was recovering well the night before.

And it was too hard for Ben to stay with (Y/n) when her parents came to visit her. They came every day like Ben did but he made sure they had time alone with (Y/n) or else he didn't know what to say, where to sit or how to act. All he wanted to do was sit beside (Y/n) and hold her hand and suddenly make her better but he didn't feel comfortable when her parents were in the room. He couldn't cry in front of them either.

Ben was engulfed in a rather comforting but still crushing hug the moment Alicia was in front of him.

(Y/n) always told Ben that he had charmed her mother almost like he had charmed (Y/n) herself. His smile won Alicia over and his nature and just generally how he was made Alicia accept him into their family straight away.

"They're keeping her sedated, she got too distressed when she was awake with the ventilator and she's still on a lot of antibiotics... but the doctor said her heart isn't affected, so that's good." Ben scratched at the short hairs at the back of his head before he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wake himself up a bit more.

When (Y/n) had woken up early in the morning, they had to sedate her because it was distressing for her to try and move and realise that she couldn't breathe. Feeling a tube stuck down her throat was too much for her, especially when it made her focus on her lack of breathing and she couldn't communicate without panicking. It was kinder and safer to keep her in a sleeping state, at least until she started to recover.

But the sepsis was still attacking her system and her lungs weren't working on their own. The antibiotics were treating the infection (Y/n) had gotten after labour but they couldn't control the sepsis. The only good news they had right now was that (Y/n)'s heart was still strong and wasn't effected by sepsis because if that happened, her chances would be next to none.

"Well s-she needs the rest... how's the little one doing?"

It was clear that Alicia was about ready to burst into tears but she was doing her best to push the tears back and keep her voice under control. (Y/n) was her only child, she had no other kids so (Y/n) had been her world and Alicia didn't have much other family other than her husband and her sister. If she lost (Y/n) she wouldn't have anyone around her except for Ben and her granddaughter and the boys.

Alicia had been to see her granddaughter along with (Y/n)'s dad, Jeremy, they visited the baby every day they visited (Y/n).

"They're letting me hold her today, I just can't do the birth certificate yet... (Y/n)'s supposed to be picking her name."

Ben could feel a bad headache forming behind his eyes, causing him to rub ferociously at his eyes to try and relieve the feeling. Their girl was four days old now and by this time Ben usually got the birth certificate sorted but he couldn't do that when he didn't have a name for her. He and (Y/n) had three names but they never managed to decide on one before labour happened early. Ben picked the name for all three of his boys and he said he wanted (Y/n) to be the one to pick the name for their daughter but right now she couldn't so he wasn't getting the certificate done until (Y/n) was better.

"There's plenty of time for that. I'll visit her after I sit with (Y/n) for a while, and if you want to stay here with (Y/n) at any point, you just ring me and those three boys can stay with me. You know I think of them as my own."

Alicia rubbed her hand up and down Ben's arm as a silent look of appreciation filled his eyes before they parted ways. He couldn't carry on this conversation without wanting to cry and it was very clear to see, Alicia didn't want to push either of them too far. Ben knew and appreciated that she would look after the boys whenever she could because she thought of them as her own grandkids. But Ben had to be at home with them as well as being here with (Y/n) because the boys were starting to get worried and he couldn't have that.

It was only a short trip from (Y/n)'s room down to the neonatal unit where is girl was and it was a route Ben walked three or four times a day. Switching between seeing (Y/n) and their daughter before he went home and spent the night with the boys before coming back to the hospital as early as he could.

When Ben reached the room that held four other newborns as well as his daughter, he headed straight over to his little girl and where a nurse was doing her routine checks.

"Mr Jones, are you ready to hold baby today?"

Ben nodded his head, finding a smile already on his lips just at the thought of having her in his arms. The moment she had been born she was taken out of the room to be looked after and she'd had a tube down her nose to help her breathe since she inhaled some fluids. But now she just had an IV for some nutrients and a few monitoring clips and stickers to check her vitals.

Doctor Mills had checked up on her yesterday and said she just needed the incubator for another week to make sure her lungs were developed enough to work properly on their own. So Ben could take her home in just over a week.

At least one of his girls was okay.

Ben tried to stop his leg from jittering up and down when he sat down, anxiously waiting for that strange yet intoxicating feeling of holding his baby for the first time.

When he first got to hold Carter, Ben had never felt a wave of emotions like that before. He didn't want to put Carter down, he just wanted to sit and hold him for the rest of his life. Then when he had James it was the same emotions but more intensified, he had another life depending on him and another boy he could cherish and look after. Finn was the smallest of all his boys, he felt like a little baby doll in Ben's arms, the kind he remembered playing with as a kid. Finn was so small and delicate but he had been beautiful.

After Finn, Ben had been sure that he had all his kids. He didn't think he would want or even get the chance to have another child, especially not after things between him and Lucy evolved in the worst possible way.

But here he was now, about to hold his fourth child, his first daughter.

The moment she was placed into his arms, Ben felt a shiver running down his spine and tingling throughout his body. He thought Finn had been his smallest child but his daughter was here, proving him wrong. She was four pounds and three ounces which was definitely underweight considering the average baby was supposed to be around seven pounds.

But she was perfect.

She had a tiny button nose that didn't reflect Ben's bumpy, slightly crooked nose that both Cater and James had inherited from him. Her hands were tiny but formed behind the rose pink mittens stuck on her hands so she didn't scratch her face. Her body fit along the expanse of Ben's lower arm perfectly and the way she curled up in his arm made him grin. She tucked her face into his chest and it tickled when Ben felt her nose brushing against his skin through his shirt.

"Hey, girlie. We don't have a name for you yet, but I'll talk to your mummy about that soon. She's so desperate to come see you when she's better, and the boys are all in love with you already, even Finn says your so pretty. My first girl."

Ben slowly brushed his finger across her cheek, smiling at the way it made her head lean into his touch before it seemed to tickle her. When he brought the boys to see her yesterday, all of them had been in awe of their little sister. Carter looked like he wanted to pick her straight up and cuddle her, James had reached his hand out to take hold of hers. And when Ben picked Finn up so he could see her, the first thing he said was that she was very pretty and sweet even if she was very small. They all seemed to instantly take to the thought of a sister now that she was here with them.

All they needed now was for (Y/n) to get better so she could hold her daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Buddy, come on it's past your bed time, you need to try and settle down you have school tomorrow." Ben tried his best to sound sympathetic and understanding but it was hard when he didn't have the patience or the effort left in his system.

It was half past ten, both James and Finn were fast asleep in their room and all Ben needed was for Carter to either settle down or for once, actually fall asleep. They all had school tomorrow and Ben needed to try and calm his own mind down because he had to take them to school then go to the hospital to see (Y/n) and their baby.

Ben had seen this coming. He had seen the state Carter was in after his mum dropped the boys back home, he was anxious and hyper and that was a big sign that he wouldn't settle tonight.

"No, I don't wanna." Carter shook his head with a defying look on his face before he planted himself down on the sofa.

His eyes followed Ben's movements in the same way they normally did when he tried to defy his dad. He didn't look anxious or irritated, he looked blank like he didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Carter watched what Ben did in case his dad was really riled up and to see what he could get away with doing. He watched Ben down the last bit of beer in the dark brown bottle in his hand before he got up and moved to put it in the kitchen.

But the moment Ben came back into the living room, he turned the tv off and looked at Carter expectantly. He knew well enough to know that Ben wouldn't let him sit up and watch tv all night when he had school in the morning. Even if Carter wouldn't be tired if he stayed up all night, it still wasn't good for him and would break his routine of trying to settle for the night.

"Carter, listen to me. I'm tired, okay? I'm knackered, I've been at the hospital every day for the last five days and then I'm coming home to be with you boys. I can't sleep either but I need you to keep your routine, I can't deal with you being unsettled from no routine."

If Carter didn't have a routine it unsettled him because routines helped to calm him down and give him structure. (Y/n) and the baby being away in hospital and Ben running between home and hospital definitely didn't give Carter routine or structure. So Ben had to keep that routine for Carter wherever he could and right now that was keeping him at school, bringing him home and keeping set times for getting up and going to bed.

"No, you just want to deal with mum and not let me see her. I miss her and I can't sleep, I wanna go see mum! I wanna see my mum!"

Carter stomped his foot down on the carpet as he stood to his feet, his height making him just below Ben's shoulder. Carter had trouble sleeping but he was normally fine with laying down and thinking until he fell asleep. But when he was anxious like this all he could think about was what was worrying him and that was (Y/n). He thought about her and how he hadn't seen her in over five days but Ben saw her everyday. He missed her and he was jealous and angered that he couldn't go and see her yet.

"Carter she's ill, I have to be there and make sure she's getting better you know that-"

"I wanna see my mum-"

"I wanna see her too!" The way Ben's voice rose and his words bellowed back at Carter made the eldest boy take a step back. He wasn't expecting Ben to shout at him and he certainly wasn't expecting him to say that.

Ben saw (Y/n) every day so far, he did see her whereas the boys didn't get to, Carter didn't understand what he meant by that.

"Every second I'm away from her I want to go back to her Carter because she's sick! I wanna see her wake up and look at me and talk to me and kiss me and just to hold her. But I can't because every fucking second I'm with your mum, she's asleep because she is so fucking ill she can hardly breathe. I miss her even when I'm sat next to her because it doesn't feel like she's there, do you get that? If I take you to see her you'll get upset and when I go see her I cry so no, you can't go see her and I'm fucking sick of all this shit."

The tears that fell from Ben's swollen, red eyes made Carter start to cry silently because he never saw Ben cry. It was something that hardly ever happened and it showed him just how poorly (Y/n) was and how badly it was hurting Ben.

"I want your mum home with us and I want your sister here too, she's at the hospital all alone until I can go hold her. She's my daughter and I can't look after her like I did when I had you boys and it kills me." Ben's tone softened like slowly melting butter and his voice was quieter when he realised he had scared Carter which he never meant to do.

His daughter was all alone in the hospital without her family and even though she wouldn't understand what family was, Ben knew she would have that maternal and paternal instinct and know who he and (Y/n) were. When Ben had the boys they were all home within two or three days and he was looking after them. But with his one and only girl, she was at the hospital without her family and that cut Ben up into pieces.

"I miss mum."

Those three words were the only ones Carter could think of and could manage to say. And the moment they registered in Ben's ears, he went down on his knees in front of Carter and engulfed him in his arms. It didn't and would never matter to Ben how old any of his children were, he would always want to pick them up in his arms and cuddle them like they were all still toddlers.

He picked Carter up and stood to his feet until the eleven-year-old wrapped his legs around Ben's hips and tucked his head into Ben's neck, breathing in his scent which started to calm him down.

Ben kissed the side of Carter's head, moving one of his hands so he could slowly smooth his fingers over the hair at the back of Carter's head. No words were spoken between the pair as Ben silently headed out of the living room and made his way upstairs to his room. If Carter wasn't going to sleep and Ben didn't think he was either, the best option was for them to stay together and try to settle and calm down. They both needed comforting right now.

Carter stayed clinging to Ben like a monkey even when Ben laid down on the bed with his upper body leaning up against the cushioned headboard. Carter put a bit of strain and weight onto Ben's chest as he laid on his front but it didn't bother Ben, he just wanted to hug his son.

"I... I heard the new teacher talking about mum today." Carter kept his face buried in Ben's neck as he spoke but he was clearly calmer when Ben continued to run his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, what did they say?"

"She told the class that mum had her baby but is poorly so she won't be at work for a few months."

"No, buddy she won't be at work for a few months because when a person has a baby, they get time off to be with their baby. If your mum wasn't sick she still would have time off, she has to look after your sister. She's just in the hospital still because she's poorly."

Carter clearly worried that (Y/n) was going to be in the hospital for months with what he had heard the supply teacher say but that wasn't going to be the case.

"Mum is gonna get better... isn't she?"

"Yes she is, I promise."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #BoRhap #teachers pet #gwilym lee #gwilym imagine #pregnancy

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 4 years ago

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A Helping Hand

a/n: It’s been a while since I’ve posted a fic. Ive been working on my health considering how much stress I was under at my old job, but I’m doing much better now. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy this.

This fic is set before Zeta 7 and the reader were dating, and when they were still friends. Set during and before the beginning of The Fluffy Adventures With Your Boyfriend Doofus Rick series.

In this fic the reader only wants to help.

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It was almost time for you to eat again. At times it almost seemed to be more of a chore than a necessity to have a meal or to follow the routine of it, but hunger had led you here. And although there were many other things you might've preferred to do, this was what had to be done at the moment. Anticipatory feelings were lacking as you opened up the fridge; had it been conveniently full of delicious food which didn't need to be put together, and could simply be warmed up, that would have been great, but that was wishful thinking. Of course, you hadn't gone food shopping yet, so your old fridge was bare; eating out was an option, but you already did that for lunch and it didn't feel worth getting properly dressed for.

It had been while you were thinking of a creative way to use elbow pasta and ketchup when a song played through the tiny speakers of your phone; it was a phone call and you didn't have to hesitate to answer; it was from your favorite person; from Rick. You tried not to get too excited whenever he would call, but you couldn't help yourself; hearing his voice alone could make you happy. Pressing the green answer button on your touch screen, you smiled despite his inability to see it. “Hello Rick. How are you?”

“He-hello? I'm um - I'm fine. I hope this - is this a-a good time?”

His usual soft, cheerful voice seemed reluctant, almost shy tonight. You always thought he sounded sweeter over the phone, and it just made you want to tease him a little. Leaning against your kitchen counter, you could not help but laugh. “A good time? It is now. So, what’s up? Other than the ceiling. ”

He chuckled at that and you were relieved he couldn't see you at this moment, for the warmth in your cheeks would take a couple of minutes to recover from. “Gosh," he started, "I-I-I-I-I was just wondering if y-you would like to come over. It’s almost time for dinner and I um - I finished cooking, but…”

“You cooked too much again?”

“Y-yeah.”

"You're going to go through all your groceries that way."

"I-I couldn't help it." he confessed. "This recipe called f-for a certain amount of ingredients, but then a-again I guess it's f-for multiple servings."

You heard him sigh, and the thought of his frowning face came to mind. So, this was simply to invite you to dinner: it didn't matter what he might've called you for; the answer was almost always yes. As of late, Rick had been cooking more than one person could eat at a time; you always did think it was odd that he'd cook in abundance, especially since he lived alone, but he'd blame it on old habits. However, it made you wonder if he was looking for reasons not to eat alone; not that you minded. Interrupting the silence, you commented. “Well, I guess I'll have to help you make it disappear then."

"Huh?" he brightened, "Is that a-a yes?"

"What do you think it means? Yes, that's a yes. Goodness," you giggled. "I'll see you soon.”

You hung up and rushed back upstairs to change. What a silly man you thought. Such a silly…but adorable man, who had so much room for kindness and doubt.

——————

It was lovely to see him, and to listen to what he'd call gossip but was only the latest development of the pigeons which had made a nest in one of his fruit trees. "Y-you gotta see how they've made their nest. Boy, it's - it's fascinating how they used s-some old magazine clippings and hair ties."

Touching his hand lightly, you wondered. "Do you have any pics of them that you can show me?"

With raised brow, he started. “Sh-sh-show you?"

"Yeah," You leaned forward a little, and smiled. "I want to see what you've been telling me about."

Without hesitation, he searched his labcoat pockets and retrieved his phone; scrolling through his gallery until he came across said pictures. "I-I-I-I took these a couple of - of days ago."

Your fingers lightly brushed his palm as you grabbed his phone to glance through the pictures; he had a good eye for angles and lighting, and from the looks of it, the pigeons seemed to be relaxed so he might've fed them first; how nice. "They're so cute. I can’t get over how fluffy they look."

Replacing the phone into his palm, he visibly tensed; your fingers had brushed his palm again. Now, the urge to allow your hand to linger there was strong and the thought of lacing your fingers with his had been tempting, but you did neither. You quickly withdrew, with a new sense of embarrassment over such thoughts. He wouldn't understand how you felt, because he didn't see you that way.

“How do y-y-you like them?”

Hiding behind your water glass, you answered. “Way more than I thought I would.”

_________

Rick was still eating, but not with the same vigor from earlier. You wondered if you had insulted him or something; he had been avoiding direct eye contact for a while. You were no reader of minds, so there was no telling of the feelings inside; of those senses which couldn't be touched. "Rick, is something wrong? Have I….. have I overstayed my welcome and you don't know how to tell me? Is...is that why you won't look at me?"

"N-no, that's not it."

"Then, did I hurt your feelings? I hope not."

He sagged a little in his seat, and he didn't answer, but he shook his head no. You thought back to earlier, and how you had looked at the pictures he took and called them cute, but other than that, you didn't say anything problematic. Was it because you asked? Maybe it wasn't.

It was easy to hurt his feelings being as sensitive as he was, and although it might've been against your better judgment, you reached out and touched the back of his hand. "Please talk to me. I don't know what I did, but I'm so sorry. I don't want you to be upset at me."

With widened eyes, he's gazed at your hand, then back towards you. "No, that’s not th-the problem."

"Then why are you so quiet all of a sudden? It isn't like you."

"It's because I…I'm s-s-sorry I talk so much."

"What do you mean? Where is this coming from?"

"It appeared as though y-you were getting tired of all my talking.” He started in an almost accusatory manner but must've realized how it sounded and continued with more calmness. “Gee, I-I didn't want to sour the evening, s-s-so I thought I should just sh-shut up."

"But I don't want you to do that. I love all your talking."

"R-really?"

His surprise at this pained you. How could he think that you'd tire of it and him? Maybe when you were thinking, he mistook it as disinterest. How could you show him you cared? You did what only seemed natural and squeezed his hand but he stiffened.

You realized that when he didn't answer right away, that the napkin he had been using had been dropped and was now on the floor; a faint blush dusting his cheeks and the tops of his ears. You didn't think that it'd be such a big deal to randomly touch him, but you thought it was sweet that he'd get flustered like that; if he wasn't so shy at times, you'd think there was more to it; if only there was. "It's fun hearing you talk.” You confessed. “I feel as though I have so much I can learn from you. So feel free to talk to me."

The relief that washed over him was palpable and he smiled warmly at this. It made your heart swell, and you withdrew your hand although it appeared that he wouldn't have minded. Still, you didn't want to upset him again with misunderstandings. "Y-you're a really nice person. It's - I'm glad t-to know someone like you."

You were glad too.

____________

"Anyway, it's interesting how they can take one man's trash and turn it into a home, but what could they do if given better materials?"

Taking a drink of water, he managed to recover a little. "I-I bet they could make a-a work of art if given the right materials. Wh-why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to know what you were thinking in that brain of yours. Must be interesting, especially with all the things you can come up with."

Yes, you did find the topic of pigeons fascinating but not as much as you found that toothy grin of his inviting. Having finished eating, you listened happily to his delightful little tales and knowings; watching as he'd start eating but then forget his food when he was at the peak of his explanation. He always did seem more cheerful when you were over and had so much to tell you when you were here, but you attributed that to the fact that he didn't have many friends. Though, you didn't mind his need for conversation; rather you enjoyed how random and easy it was to talk with him; his sweetness enriched your soul whenever he was especially happy and attentive in conversation. Handing him a new napkin, you teased. "I'm surprised you haven't made a mini-mansion type birdhouse for them out of whatever spare wood you have in the garage. Unless you already have. I bet it'd be all tricked out with a little warm birdbath and a small mirror so they can check themselves out, fluff their feathers and such."

"Gosh," he sighed, waving his fork a little as he ruminated on his thoughts before the beginnings of a boyish smile appeared on his lips. "did I already tell y-you about that?"

"No," you giggled; happy that your assumptions weren't farfetched. "but I took a wild guess."

He was that kind of guy after all; soft-hearted and fond of the living things around him; it was one of the many qualities that endeared him to you. You wished you could've taken part in its construction. "If you had told me sooner," you mentioned. "I would have helped. I could've helped painting it or something."

"Gosh, I thought y-you had other things to do so I…it wasn't a-a big deal. It was simply an um - an old man's hobby."

"It's just….it sounded like fun. I know it might not mean much saying this, but I would've enjoyed spending that time with you. Working side by side and discussing little details about it. I would…. You see, I love spending time with you."

It was only after you had said all that, in which you realized how easy it would've been to misconstrued. Sitting there, you resisted the urge to bury your face in your hands; wondering what was with you these days. Since when was it okay to get bold and be frank like that? Every so often, when you did say such things, you saw, for fractions of moments, confusion and more….as though he ought to say something; there were no tears and there never was, but you thought he seemed hurt; glassy-eyed and lost. Studying you, he opened his mouth to speak but closed it again; preferring to examine his napkin and tableware then to continue that thought.

He did this often, especially when you surprised him; for better or worse. Perhaps he didn't want to appear foolish, but whatever he could've said was interrupted by your sudden movement. You reached over for his empty dish and went over to the sink to begin on the dishes. However, he jumped up and insisted that you needn't help to clean, snapping out of whatever mood which might've overcome him a moment ago. You thought it was the least you could do; if you had been a decent cook you would've offered a meal in return, but it wasn't likely that it was going to happen. "Rick, you cooked so I might as well help you clean."

"Gosh, y-you don't have to do that. I was the one that invited you over. As th-the host, it's my responsibility."

"That may be true," you reasoned, feeling responsible for him in some way. "but you're always doing stuff for me, so I thought I'd stay and help for a bit."

"Huh? Wh-what?"

"Yeah. I mean what good are friends if you can't put them to work every so often? Besides," you quieted a bit as you scrubbed away at the baking pan. "I want to help you."

It's not like you were using this as an excuse to stay a little longer now. Right? Well, just a little. It was still early and you didn't want to go home yet. Grabbing a kitchen towel, he chuckled lightly. "Well, I-I guess I'll help y-you dry."

Standing beside you, his warmth radiated off him, and from this close, you could smell spices, a hint of vanilla, and motor oil? Perhaps it was the scent of his house, but it was comforting. Good thing you had the excuse of concentrating on scrubbing because otherwise, it would've been obvious on how affected you were by him.

_______

After you finished wiping down the counters, you checked the time and thought you'd be better off heading on home. Grabbing your keys you were ready to say goodbye, but he followed you to the door. "Are y-y-you going?"

Without facing him, you nodded. "I am."

"Then I'll walk y-you home."

"Okay."

In the past, you had told him that it wasn't necessary since you lived so close, but you came to enjoy those small moments of kindness; of his sincere care for your well-being that made the world a slightly easier place to live. The walk didn't take long since you only lived a few doors down, but it was lovely nonetheless. "Thank you for the food. It was really good."

Scratching the back of his neck, he answered. "I-I hoped you would. I um - I enjoyed y-your company."

"Me too."

You played with your keys a little, wondering why you should be so nervous. It's not like you two were dating; it's not like he'd even consider the possibility, but it was moments like this that made you hope and contemplate if you should just tell him. It was always on tip of your tongue; the words which begged to be said, but you weren't feeling brave yet. You needed more time; just enough to be ready for a change. There was no rush, but logic and feelings didn't coincide. "Rick," you started, unsure of what you were doing. "can I um….can I ask you something?"

"Y-yes! Of c-course. What's on y-your mind?"

Think of something you thought. "You'd tell me if you needed help, wouldn't you? I'm not talking about what we did this evening, but stuff that….like if you need help with your chores or something. I know you get busy sometimes and I'd hate it if you weren't all caught up on the latest news about your pigeons or if there were dishes that needed washing."

"Gosh, I-I thought I was doing f-fine with all that," he confessed. "but it - I'll be sure t-to let you know."

"Good, that's...that's good because I'm always happy to help you."

Gathering whatever foolishness which laid at the pit of your stomach and daydreams, you rested a hand on his arm and smiled up at him. "Rick, I'd do almost about anything for you….that is…if that's….. that is what friends are for, right? At least that's what I think."

Though, was that what you thought? Wasn't this just a roundabout way of saying you wanted to be around him more? Oh, if only he could understand. You knew it wasn't right to mislead him, but he never reacted the way you thought he should.

Glancing down at where your hand still laid, a wistful, almost sad quality passed across his stormy eyes before continuing. "Boy, th-that's thoughtful," he began, though as easily as a summer sky could change so did his words. "but I-I wouldn't want t-to bother you or take up your time with anything like that."

"That's the thing, it wouldn't be a bother at all."

This is where you thought you'd messed up, but you couldn't seem to keep quiet when he was involved. It felt as though you were trying to monopolize your way into spending more time with him; as though you were desperate to get him to be around you. "I mean, as a writer, I can just do my job whenever. So, you don't have to hesitate."

That familiar flit of sadness passed over his eyes again and you thought that maybe he pitied you because all you had in the world was yourself and a house you simply inherited. You didn't want to tell him you were lonely, because if you did, you didn't want him to think that it was the only reason you spent time with him; it'd break your heart if you hurt this sensitive creature, but you couldn't help yourself; it was your selfishness talking. True, you were making this more complicated than it had to be, but you didn't know how to fix that yet. "I just…I don't mind being around you more and hanging out. That's all."

Although, it might've not been as complicated after all for it didn't take much for him to lift up your moods. All he had to do was smile, and to pull you into his arms for a big hug. Did he know?

"Rick?"

Squeezing you a fraction tighter, he confessed. "Gee, it's - I-I appreciate your worrying a-about me," he started, his soft, warm voice brushing past your ear and giving you goosebumps. "but I can't - can't help but wonder why y-you look as though you could use a friend right now. Are you al-alright? Did y-you want t-t-to talk about it?"

Your fingers dug into the worn fabric of his sweater and you wanted to cry because he was so devastatingly kind, and you knew in that one moment it didn't matter how long you held on to him; he'd let you hold him for as long as you needed because he was great at empathizing. Little did he know it unraveled your heart every time. "You're right Rick, I do need a friend. I…I need...."

You; the word which refused to leave your mouth. His assumption filled in the blank. "You probably miss your dad on nights like this huh? It's hard t-to go home to an empty house."

That was partly true. "Mhm."

Rubbing your back, he sighed. "Th-there there. Everything is going t-t-to be alright."

Is it? Would it be alright? No, he didn't know or if he did, he ignored it. Though, like this, you could almost believe there was more to this relationship than… then being good friends.

With your face hidden in the softness of his sweater, held so sure and firm, with such strength that seemed unnatural for one his age, he was as you thought of him; as a man you held in the highest regard, beyond reason or doubt that you could love if…if it was appropriate. Why couldn't he stay that friend that you needed and why did you wish for more than this? Was this to be your punishment? To adore someone who made you happy but couldn't be more than society should allow?

"Will I be alright?" you confessed more to yourself than to him.

Squeezing you a fraction tighter, you felt him nod. "Y-you're young, so y-you will be."

That's right, you were young; too young for him. While you had been ready to beat yourself up for it, he continued in a voice that was above a whisper. "I'd like t-t-to help you if I can but only if y-you want me to. Is that o-okay? Do you want me t-to?"

You wanted so much, but more than anything you wanted what he was willing to give. Rubbing his back in a similar, soothing motion, you softened. "Please do."

Another sigh escaped him, but he continued to rub your back; the warmth of his hands and sounds of his breathing making you a little sleepy. You hadn't been checking the time, but you were sure that it had been a while. What you hadn't been sure of was what the neighbors were going to think if they saw you two in such a warm embrace at this time of the evening or anytime for that matter; you didn't care because this felt right. It was as though you could melt into him with how comforting it was. Who knows how long you must've held onto him, but eventually you heard him say softly, albeit oddly disappointed. "It's getting late and I-I should let you go. It's…and you…but y-you can always call me if you - if you can't sleep."

Glancing up at him, you wondered why it ever had to end. However, with reluctance, you pulled away, but only enough so that you could hold him a little longer. "You're right. I…I should go to bed. Thank you for the lovely evening, my wonderful… my friend."

And with that, you released your hold on him. However, if you hadn't known any better, the look he gave you was softer than his usual ones. Was…no…it must've been nothing. A trick of the dim porch light. Half hidden by the dark, he confessed. "Thank you f-for being my - for being my friend. It makes me happy t-to have you around. I'll um - I'll be sure t-to make myself more available to you if you need me."

Your heart ached with half affection, half guilt. You really were asking for so much you didn't deserve. "Oh Rick, I'd appreciate that."

For a quick second, you saw him stretch out his hand but just as quickly let it fall back to his side. Then, he stepped back and reminded you. "Don't forget t-to lock the door."

"I won't."

You opened your front door, and smiled up at him from your doorway, trying to channel all that you felt in a single word; knowing that was all you could do for now. "Goodnight."

Softening, he turned away quickly, mostly hidden in the darkness, and waved. "D-don't let th-the bed bugs bite."

Closing the door behind you, you barely made it to the couch before you began to cry. What were you thinking? Playing around with a lonely man's feelings and possibly confusing him. Could you ever get over him? Would your heart let you?

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you thought back to only minutes ago when you were secure in his arms, and you felt as though you belonged to him. And how your blouse smelled like him now or that his care for you was almost enough. Though, were his actions like that of a parent? You could only wonder. Though, if you couldn't get over him, couldn't you help change his mind?

When you had calmed a little and had time to change and get a drink of water, you found that you still weren't sleepy. It was late but before you could give it much forethought, you dialed his number and he picked up right away. "C-can't sleep?"

"Yeah."

"Me either. I um - I was thinking a-about what you said about th-the birdhouse. While it is built, and I'd painted it, I would be happy t-t-to have you over when you're available and help me make it pretty. Gosh, it's - it's only if you want to."

"That would be lovely. Too bad it's late because I would've come over now if you'd asked."

"Y-you see, that wouldn't um - tomorrow would be better."

"What's the matter? A little sleepover never hurt anybody." You teased.

Right away you heard a clatter and then a crack. Did he drop his phone?

"Rick? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I-I-I-I just - my phone had fallen."

"I see. Sorry for the bad joke."

“It's o-okay. Just surprised me is -is all.”

A chair scraped the floor, and you heard the click of either a pen or a small appliance. "I-I don't think I'll be able to sleep t-tonight but I won't keep you up with m-my thoughts. It'd get kind of boring for you."

"I mean, I am tired, but I don't mind listening to you for a while. Could you just talk? It can be about anything."

He sighed into the phone, and you heard paper. Perhaps he was flipping through a book. “I-I was thinking of reading, but my eyes are a-a bit tired.”

“When you do read, do you only read nonfiction?”

“I-I like to read a little bit of everything.”

“You do? Well, how convenient. I happen to have a bunch of books and if you'd ever like to borrow any of them, you're free to do so.”

“Boy, I'll have to take a-a look the next time I’m over. Hey, um - I do have a-a story you might enjoy. It has t-t-to do with how I came to have jasmine in my backyard. Would you like t-to hear it?”

Grabbing a pillow, you nodded. “Yes, I really would. Though, tell it slowly so that I don't miss a thing.”

With a chuckle, he began to explain, and you placed the phone beside you; careful as to not drop it as his sing-song voice twisted and curled about you in your lonely room.

Fin

#doofus rick #doofus rick x reader #rick sanchez x reader #j19z7 #j-19-zeta-7 #rnm #rick x reader #rick and morty #rick j19zeta7 #j19zeta7 #rick and Marty fanfic #rick j19z7 #ram fanfic #my fanfic #my works #my writing #rnm fanfiction

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ghosthunthq · 5 years ago

Text

Oliver is autistic, I will die on this hill

by @snavej

Noun

hill to die on (plural hills to die on)

(idiomatic) An issue to pursue with wholehearted conviction and/or single-minded focus, with little or no regard to the cost.

X~X~X

And so our story begins…

Okay, so if you’ve been around the fandom on Tumblr/Fanfiction.net, you will probably have seen me write “Oliver is autistic, I will die on this hill” on a post or story. If you have not, then, you have now. Congrats.

I came to this revelation maybe three years ago now. I had been in a discussion with some fandom friends and something in the conversation had made me wonder if Oliver was autistic.

We’ve all seen the cliche representations of autistic people in the media, especially those coded as such without explicit confirmation. For example, Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. These characters are often there for comedic value, where we, the audience, laugh at them for their disability. The shows get away with it because they never explicitly state the character is autistic.

I’m getting off track already.

So after the discussion mentioned before, I went away and began my research - to Google! Now, I have to admit, part of my curiosity regarding this matter is because I have been told I write Oliver well. Personally, I feel I write him a little OOC, but I like how I write him so it doesn’t bother me. I write Oliver as a version of myself. So my thought patterns at the time were that if Oliver was autistic, could I be too?

Oh yes, you thought you were just here for an educational piece about autism? Nope, you’re getting the whole damn story as to why I will die on this hill.

So I did my research and I found lists of signs of autism. I devoured internet articles and soon it was all I was interested in. I even bought a book titled ‘Aspergirls’ by Rudy Simone (who is autistic). If any of you read this piece and start wondering if you’re autistic (and you’re female, more on gender later!), I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I literally cried reading it.

The signs!

Okay so what are all these signs, let’s start a list! Autistic people can have:

Rituals that they refuse to change,

Odd or repetitive movements,

Unusual sensory reactions,

Be clumsy or awkward,

Nervous in large social groups,

Have a hard time making friends,

Speak in unusual ways or with an odd tone of voice,

Talk only about themselves/their interests,

Have narrow, often obsessive interests,

Want to be alone, or want to interact but not know how,

Avoid eye contact,

Have a hard time understanding body language,

Have trouble understanding other people’s feelings or talking about their own feelings,

Poor/abnormal posture, often sit on chairs oddly,

Trouble with left, right and other directions,

Large or unique vocabulary,

Lack of organisation,

Intense compassion/empathy,

Intense anger or no anger at all,

Connections with animals,

Difficulty understanding pop culture, styles, trends, etc.

Rigid in their ways,

Easily distressed,

Delayed speech and language,

Lack of imitation of others or imaginative play,

Indifferent to the feelings of others,

Sensitive to light and sound,

Self-stimulatory behaviours (stimming)

Echolalia (repeating or echoing words or phrases)

Unusual emotional responses,

Meltdowns,

Responds adversely to physical affections,

Does not initiate conversation,

Very poor diet,

Frequently walks on tiptoes,

Socially withdrawn/socially awkward,

Self-injurious behaviour,

Makes irrelevant remarks,

Difficulty with abstract language and concepts,

Need for sameness,

Severe upset when routines are disrupted,

Attachment to unusual objects,

Fascination with spinning objects,

Good memory for repeating lists or facts,

Unlikely to discriminate against someone on basis of race/gender/age etc.

Unlikely to give superior status to the wealthy or those high up in an organisation,

Have their own set of values,

Can hyperfocus,

Struggle to separate themselves from their work,

Lack the ability to filter information received,

Alexithymia - the inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner,

Likes patterns, putting things in order,

Often limits diet,

Often wears the same clothes,

Black or white thinking,

Auditory processing disorder…

Okay, I’ll stop there. I could probably go on if I wanted to, because although I’ve written a lot of things there, these are all manifestations of the clinical diagnosis criteria.

X~X~X

Diagnostic Criteria for 299.00 Autism Spectrum Disorder

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understand relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behaviour to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.

Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behaviour (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour.

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals who have marked deficits in social communication, but whose symptoms do not otherwise meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder, should be evaluated for social (pragmatic) communication disorder.

Taken from: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

X~X~X

Back to the story

So I went to my doctor after all of this reading. I was convinced. Nothing had ever made so much sense to me in my entire life as reading about autism.

I was, at this point, what people in the autism community call “self-diagnosed”. Now I was lucky, I could go on to get a “proper” diagnosis. Not everyone is as lucky. Many doctors do not believe that girls/women can be autistic. Many doctors do not believe that ethnic minorities can be autistic. Many doctors do not believe adults can be autistic. In some countries, people do not have free healthcare and so they cannot afford a diagnosis. There are many reasons why people can’t/won’t get diagnosed.

The point I’m trying to make is that if you see someone posting about being self-diagnosed, don’t be all “oh but a doctor hasn’t said it so you’re not”, because that person does not need your doubt and it does not help anyone. Their self-diagnosis helps them to navigate their life and it does not hurt anyone. Honestly, the amount of people that are “wrong” about their self-diagnosis is probably very small, and those that are probably have some other kind of neurodivergent condition such as ADHD.

Anyway, my doctor gave me a form to fill in, a questionnaire. A series of questions aimed very much at the male expression of autism. I felt horrible at the time, because I knew exactly how to answer these questions to fill the boxes required. I knew because I had read so much about autism that I knew what they wanted to hear.

I filled it in honestly. I scored highly enough anyway.

My doctor did not know who to refer me to. She had never had to refer an adult before. She asked around and found out what to do; I got put on a waiting list.

A while later, at work, I found out I could get tested privately and work would pay for it. Oh, how I love my job. I spoke to someone who had been the manager of another employee who had gone through the process. That helped.

I talked to the man who was supposed to be the disability advisor, he made me fill in the same questionnaire that my doctor did. I filled it in again.

I was on another waiting list.

The advisor had also recommended me a book, which I bought and read and hated. The language used very much implied that I would never be ‘great’, just ‘coping’. It was written by a neurotypical person. I told the advisor by email that this book was stupid and damaging. He did not reply.

Months later, the private assessment happened. I spent an entire day with a clinical psychologist and a speech and language therapist. My parents and manager came too. I answered questions, had to explain things to them, made up stories with random objects. My parents, mainly my mother, talked about my childhood.

At the end of it all, they decided I was autistic.

I was ecstatic.

The day before, a person at work said I was a hypochondriac. One of those people who read about conditions on the internet and convince myself that I have them. I still do not talk to that person.

Finally, everything made sense. Finally, I had a reason why people made fun of me for reasons I could not fathom. Finally, my weirdness had a name.

X~X~X

The Gender Issue

So there is a ‘gender issue’ with autism and it’s diagnosis. Everything is aimed at young (white) boys. It’s designed for the stereotype of the young boy who likes to collect trains. And that’s why there are five times as many autistic boys in comparison with girls.

People of colour, women and girls are very often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.

Generalised anxiety disorder, depression, OCD, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, various eating disorders, borderline personality disorder, ADHD…

The list goes on.

Now, that’s not to say many girls don’t have these things. Often they do. But often they have those and autism.

I very much doubt there is five times as many autistic boys. I think there are just a hell of a lot of women and girls who are undiagnosed.

Why this disparity? Well, autism presents differently in girls, or perhaps, society sees it differently.

When a young boy is quiet and withdrawn, happy to play by themselves, something is wrong. When a girl is quiet and withdrawn, she’s just shy. There’s also a lot of evidence to suggest that girls are a lot better at masking their autism.

Essentially, due to the societal pressure on young girls, they hide their autism and mimic their peers. That’s why the most common time for a woman to get diagnosed with autism is when she has children of her own and they’re getting diagnosed.

Is it genetic? There’s no strict evidence of an ‘autistic’ gene, I don’t think. But its quite common. When I was getting tested, I gave the previously mentioned book to my mother and said, “Hey, can you read this, I think I have this”. My mother read the book and told me she thought she had given it to me. She got tested two months ago.

I also look at my father and see many of the traits. But he has no interest in getting tested.

If you’re intersted, google “autism in girls” or something similar, there are plenty of resources.

The result

So I have my diagnosis, my work is fully informed. I am now protected by the Disability Act. I can’t use disabled parking spaces, but some autistic people can, if they need it.

What does this mean for me? It means that my employer has to make adjustments for me to make me comfortable for work. Changing the lighting, giving me a quiet place to work, working with me on deadlines and stuff. They know now (officially) that I have issues with auditory processing, and that they should take that into account.

I’m lucky, my employer has been good about this, and it is in their interest to. Autistic people can be an asset to any company. They are often experts in their chosen field and will work solidly on stuff they enjoy.

Lots of autistic people are not as lucky. They are one of the highest unemployed groups. Workplaces are full of unwritten rules that are hard for autistic people. This brings me on to…

Autism Acceptance Month

April is Autism Acceptance Month. You may see this as Autism Awareness Month in some places. But I don’t like that. “Awareness months” and “awareness days�� are often reserved for horrible diseases like cancer, for which we want a cure.

There are a lot of resources out there from damaging institutions this month, such as Autism Speaks. They are advocating for a cure and also promote ABA (a type of ‘therapy’ that is disgusting and should not be allowed). If you take anything from all this, please do not support Autism Speaks.

There is no cure for Autism. It is a developmental disorder. It’s not a disease.

If you wanna do something for Autism Acceptance Month, there are some resources here: https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/world-autism-awareness-week.aspx

But what about the vaccines?

Of course, I cannot talk about autism without mentioning the vaccines!

In the 90s, about 1 in 150 children were diagnosed with autism, by the early 2000’s, this went up to 1 in 68. One of the big things that had changed in this time was the number of vaccines children had.

There have been many studies regarding autism and vaccines. And there was one that said there was a link between autism and vaccines. In this study, there were 12 subjects.

Now I do statistics for a day job. So I can tell you categorically, that 12 subjects for a study is not enough for decisive proof. The person who did this study was struck off and rightly so.

But the media got hold of this idea.

And so the anti-vaxxers rose up, refusing to vaccinate their children from deadly diseases because obviously, being autistic was worse than being dead.

In summary, vaccinate your children.

Side note, I, as an autistic person, am allowed to make jokes about vaccines. For example, I received some vaccinations before travelling and joked with the nurse that I was ‘topping up my autism’. This is funny because we both knew it was wrong.

‘Autistic person’ vs ‘person with autism’

This one is a tricky one. I’ve seen arguments both ways.

‘Person with autism’ puts the person first, but also makes the autism sound like an accessory.

‘Autistic person’ puts the disability first, but you can’t separate the person from the autism, it’s intrinsic to who they are.

Basically, this is up to the person. If they prefer one way or the other, use it. It’s like pronouns, you use what the person you’re talking about asks you to use.

Personally, I’m not too fussy, but I lean towards ‘autistic person’.

Asperger’s vs Autism

Asperger’s was merged into the general Autism diagnosis criteria a while back. Asperger’s is what is sometimes called ‘high functioning autism’. The autism community do not like the term ‘high functioning’ because it denies aid, in the same way that ‘low functioning’ denies agency. The criteria for ‘low functioning’ is having an IQ under 70. So it’s quite broad.

Also people who have been classified as ‘high functioning’ don’t necessarily function well in everyday life without help.

Also, Hans Asperger’s was a bit of a knobhead, so a lot of people don’t like using his name.

Headcanons

A headcanon is a fan’s personal, idiosyncratic interpretation of canon, such as habits of a character, the backstory of a character, or the nature of relationships between characters. The term comes from the fact that it is the canon that exists in a fan’s head.

So when I say ‘Oliver is autistic’, this is my personal headcanon. Do I want it to become fanon? Yes, of course, I do. In the same way, I love that Yasuhara x Gene has become popular (for which I take full responsibility).

But if you disagree with it, that’s fine. You’re allowed to do that. I will not think any less of you for it. Because at the end of the day, the author has not come out and said ‘Oliver is autistic’.

Personally, as an autistic writer, who has always written some of her characters as autistic, whether she knew it or not, I suspect the author of Ghost Hunt might be an undiagnosed autistic person. Because Oliver is not the only person I recognise traits in… But that’s for another day.

If you only take one thing away from reading all of this, then let it be this:

If you’ve met one autistic person, that’s it. You have met ONE autistic person.

We’re all different, just like everyone else.

And now for what you’ve all been waiting for…

Continued in Part TWO

#Ghost Hunt #oliver davis #GHW2020 #snavej #autism #GHHQ #submission

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avpdpunpun · 5 years ago

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i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm.

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores.

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

#text #update #mostly tagging this for myself to read later if i ever start blogging frequently again

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truemedian · 3 years ago

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Guide: Best Nintendo Switch Collections And Compilation Games

Switch has become many a gamer's go-to console for revisiting retro classics, at home on the TV or wherever you happen to take the handheld hybrid. Squeezing in nostalgia trips between the big new releases has never been easier, and there have been a host of exceptional collections and compilation packages on Nintendo's system that bring together bundles of retro games, often with new features, bells and whistles. We've put together the following list of the best compilations on Switch. We've stuck to bundles which include a minimum of three games (many of them contain a lot more than three). While most of the collections below feature retro gaming delights from yesteryear, you'll also find trilogy collections of more recent games. Plenty of good-value variety for everyone! So, without further ado, let's dive into our picks — in no particular order — of the best compilations and collections on Switch. Please note that some external links on this page are affiliate links, which means if you click them and make a purchase we may receive a small percentage of the sale. Please read our FTC Disclosure for more information. Mega Man Legacy Collection (Switch eShop) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Capcom / Developer: Capcom Release Date: 22nd May 2018 (USA) / 22nd May 2018 (UK/EU) We begin with one of several collections of Mega Men. Digital Eclipse did a great job with all the details in Mega Man Legacy Collection, presenting the original games in their best possible light, while tossing in a handful of extra features and challenges on top to sweeten the deal. The rewind feature is a welcome inclusion that helps to mitigate the difficulty of some of the games, and the overall quality of the series difficult to dispute. We would highly recommend you pick this one up - all the included extra features coupled with the ability to play these games both at home and on the go make it a no-brainer. Borderlands Legendary Collection (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: 2K / Developer: 2K Release Date: 29th May 2020 (USA) / 29th May 2020 (UK/EU) Borderlands Legendary Collection is an excellent Switch showing for this beloved series, though it's difficult to determine if the price is right; sure, there's an enormous amount of content here so you're certainly not being ripped off, but it's old content and these games are routinely extremely cheap on other services. Still, it's a technically excellent port of three expansive, enjoyable shooters, and they're a perfect fit for the Switch. Whether played alone or with pals, the gameplay is terrific to dip into for 20 minutes or get stuck into for a massive grinding session. If you've somehow never played Borderlands before, you can't go wrong with this set. And if you have, but want to try a different character class on the bus ride home, now's your chance. Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Capcom / Developer: Digital Eclipse Release Date: 29th May 2018 (USA) / 29th May 2018 (UK/EU) While some of the games included in this compendium are rendered somewhat superfluous by the fact that far superior sequels and updates exist alongside them, Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection remains an utterly essential purchase for any self-respecting fighting game fan. This is like a history lesson in how the one-on-one fighter has evolved over time. The experience really benefits from using the right controller; while the Joy-Con are perfectly acceptable when you're hosting impromptu local multiplayer challenges and the Pro Controller's D-Pad is passable, we found the 8bitdo SN30 and SN30 Pro pads to be much better options, and if you have an arcade stick that's compatible with Switch, now is the ideal time to dig it out – this is fighting game nirvana, pure and simple. SEGA Mega Drive Classics (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: SEGA / Developer: SEGA Release Date: 7th Dec 2018 (USA) / 6th Dec 2018 (UK/EU) Sega's had more than one stab at creating a comprehensive collection of its best Mega Drive titles and, as a result, Sega Mega Drive Classics does lose some of its impact due to sheer familiarity; for example, we already have an immaculately-ported version of Sonic on the Switch eShop right now. Even so, it's hard to argue with the 50-odd games that ship with this new compendium, and only a fool would contest the fact that it showcases some of the best games of the 16-bit era. The modern-day enhancements are welcome too, and while this isn't the first time many of these games have gone portable, it's a real boon to be able to play the likes of Phantasy Star IV or Story of Thor on the bus. When you take into account how much quality there is on offer here, Sega Mega Drive Classics becomes an easy recommendation. Contra Anniversary Collection (Switch eShop) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Konami / Developer: Konami Release Date: 11th Jun 2019 (USA) / 11th Jun 2019 (UK/EU) While it’s a shame that there are fewer games here than in other Konami collections – we’d have loved to have seen NES title Contra Force or the now-extinct WiiWare title Contra ReBirth – the ones included in the Contra Anniversary Collection are universally brilliant. The 8-bit and 16-bit Contra games are among the finest examples of the run ‘n gun genre, and to have almost all of them included in a single release and emulated flawlessly is an absolute treat. Whether you’re a fan of the series or a curious onlooker who’s always wanted to see what the fuss was all about, this is essential. Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Activision / Developer: Toys for Bob Release Date: 29th Jun 2018 (USA) / 29th Jun 2018 (UK/EU) Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy is a ruthlessly faithful recreation of some of the earliest successes in 3D platforming. Levels are slick, gorgeous to look at, and recreate the feel of the originals superbly. Newcomers to the series may be put off by the steep difficulty spikes and little to no explanation of some of the finer mechanics. All the fun and the foibles of the original three games are here, for better or for worse, and despite some odd design choices it still manages to be a really enjoyable retread of some old classics, warts and all. This is definitely worth a look if you're a fan of 3D platformers, but just as was the case back in the '90s, Crash isn't in quite the same league as Mario when it comes to playability, inventiveness and entertainment. If you're after a nostalgia trip, though, it's tough to beat. SNK 40th Anniversary Collection (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: NIS America / Developer: Digital Eclipse Release Date: 13th Nov 2018 (USA) / 16th Nov 2018 (UK/EU) SNK 40th Anniversary Collection is how retro compilations should be done. Although the emulation has a few little hiccups along the way, the overall package here is wonderfully presented. Rather than just slapping a rudimentary menu over a bunch of old ROMs, it’s clear there’s been a lot of effort made here to catalogue an often forgotten period in one of Japan’s most important game developers. As with all compilations, there are a few misses, but the quality is generally high, and the supporting museum mode is an absolute treasure trove for retro enthusiasts. Namco Museum (Switch eShop) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Bandai Namco / Developer: Bandai Namco Release Date: 28th Jul 2017 (USA) / 28th Jul 2017 (UK/EU) Namco Museum does a great job of highlighting the illustrious lineage of one of video gaming's most famous arcade companies; not only is it packed with addictive games that will keep you glued to your Switch for many weeks to come, but it boasts excellent emulation, a host of options, online leaderboards, a special challenge mode for each game and a new version of Pac-Man VS. which is sure to become the go-to party title for many Switch players. While there are a couple of titles that we'd have swapped out for other, more worthy offerings from Namco's past, you're still getting an excellent selection of games for a reasonable price here. Mega Man X Legacy Collection (Switch eShop) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Capcom / Developer: Capcom Release Date: 24th Jul 2018 (USA) / 24th Jul 2018 (UK/EU) Mega Man X Legacy Collection is a fantastic re-release of several must-play gaming classics, presenting them as authentically as possible while still including a few modern features on top that help to improve the overall experience and keep it from feeling antiquated. Throw in the new X Challenge mode and an enormous archive of museum content and this stands as the definitive way to play the Mega Man X games in the modern era. Four fantastic games, a bevy of extra content, and the ability to play at home or on the go make this one an easy recommendation. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy (Switch eShop) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Capcom / Developer: Capcom Release Date: 9th Apr 2019 (USA) / 9th Apr 2019 (UK/EU) The original Ace Attorney is almost two decades old, which is remarkable when you consider just how well it holds up. Sure, it’s been ported plenty of times and the jump to Nintendo DS certainly helped shake off the retro cobwebs, but as a piece of interactive history, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy is as utterly addictive and truly rewarding as it was back at the turn of the millennium. Whether you’re brand new to the world of virtual defence law or a veteran attorney, Phoenix Wright’s first adventures are still a fine set of cases to undertake. Super Mario 3D All-Stars (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Nintendo / Developer: Nintendo Release Date: 18th Sep 2020 (USA) / 18th Sep 2020 (UK/EU) We had an absolute blast playing through these three gems all over again, especially now they look sharper than ever. It’s a shame that the presentation is practically barebones with no bonus content beyond the soundtracks, but there can still be no denying the quality of the games on offer here. Super Mario 3D All-Stars is the Beatles’ Greatest Hits of the video game world, and is an absolute treat whether you’re reliving it in HD or discovering it for the first time. BioShock: The Collection (Switch) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: 2K / Developer: 2K Release Date: 29th May 2020 (USA) / 29th May 2020 (UK/EU) BioShock: The Collection stands as yet another fantastic port in the Switch’s ever-growing library, combining three excellent games and all their DLC into one convincing package. Stable performance, engrossing narratives, fun gameplay, and lots of content make this one an easy recommendation, even if these releases show their age from time to time. If you’re looking for a good single-player shooter to pick up for your Switch, look no further - it’s tough to go wrong here. Capcom Beat 'Em Up Bundle (Switch eShop) - Our Review - Profile Publisher: Capcom / Developer: Capcom Release Date: 18th Sep 2018 (USA) / 18th Sep 2018 (UK/EU) The Capcom Beat 'Em Up Bundle illustrates perfectly why the humble side-scrolling fighter was the toast of video gaming in the late '80s and early '90s. Addictive, enjoyable and – perhaps most important of all – bloody good fun when played co-operatively with friends, all of the titles in this seven-strong compendium are worth your time, and by adding robust local and multiplayer support, Capcom has done its utmost to ensure they find favour with a whole new generation of gamers. If you're not a fan of the genre then you may well be wondering what all the fuss is about, but for everyone else, this is a must-have download. - Page : - 1 - 2 - Next » Read More Read the full article

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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years ago

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The Long Way Round - Part III of IV

[Part I] | [Part II] | [Part IV]

A/N: I lied, everyone. Oops. But this got so long, I had to break it up. But, good news; you’ll get even more of Bucky, Tony, and TJ on Monday. (And that will be the actual final part, I promise.)

Bucky’s fresh out of the shower, getting ready to head out for their monthly Howlies dinner, when he sees his phone flash with an unread message. He can’t help but smile when he sees that it’s from Tony, but frowns, instantly worried, when it reads: are you busy right now?

They’ve been careful around and with each other the last few months, developing a schedule they both feel comfortable with, and rarely deviate from. They meet up twice a week, once to go out and do something with TJ—playgrounds, museums and exhibits, the zoo, feeding the ducks in the small park by Tony’s apartment—and once to have dinner together, as a family, and give Bucky the chance to be part of TJ’s bedtime routine. They text, a lot, and call each other on the days they don’t meet up, talking about everything and nothing for hours, trying to figure out where they stand, and where to go from there.

Tony texting him something like this is highly unusual, and Bucky’s hit call before he’s even fully aware of opening his contacts, nervously chewing his bottom lip as he waits for the call to connect.

“Hey,” Tony says when he picks up, sounding a little stressed, but not like something terrible is happening. “Sorry to spring this on you, but are you free tonight? One of my clients is having some issues with their servers, and, well, it’s kind of a mess, and they’re freaking out about it. It’ll take me two, three hours to fix, tops, but I don’t really want to take TJ to the office with me if I can avoid it. He’s had his bath already, and he wants PB&J sandwiches for dinner—”

“Jam!” TJ screeches happily, somewhere in the background.

“—so you wouldn’t even have to cook,” Tony finishes. Then, to TJ, he adds, “Don’t yell, please.”

“Sorry!” TJ yells, from wherever he is in the apartment.

(Watch out for the break, mobile readers!)

Tony sighs, and Bucky clears his throat to cover a laugh. “‘S fine, Tony. You know I love seein’ you. The two of you, both of you.”

Bucky winces at the slip-up, but Tony either doesn’t notice, or is nice enough to not point it out. They both know that Bucky’s still as gone on Tony as he was almost four years ago, but Tony is quick to change the subject whenever they get too close to the feelings territory. He’s obviously struggling, working up to something big, but Bucky isn’t going to push. That never works with Tony, anyway, and Bucky might be pining, but he’s also genuinely happy to have Tony back in his life as a friend and co-parent.

They hang up after Bucky promises to come right over, much to TJ’s obvious—and loud—delight. He sends a message to the Howlies group chat once he’s caught a cab, and only feels a little guilty for cancelling on them last minute. They’re his brothers, and he loves them all dearly, but he also remembers the way they’d been suspicious and dismissive of Tony right from the start, without a discernible reason. The only one of his friends who’d genuinely liked Tony had been Peggy, and she’s also the only one who knows some of what’s been happening in Bucky’s life lately.

TJ is bouncing off the walls when Bucky arrives, clearly excited about the change to his evening plans. Tony shoots Bucky an apologetic look on his way out, then kisses TJ’s head and reminds him to be good.

They have the promised PB&J sandwiches for dinner, and some yoghurt with sliced bananas for dessert. Afterwards, TJ asks for a story, so they curl up on the couch together, and Bucky reads him Daddy’s Boots. Tony had originally bought the book in an attempt to help TJ understand Bucky’s long absence—they both agree that TJ doesn’t need to know everything just yet, especially the messy details of their breakup—but it has become one of TJ’s favourites by now, only ever to be read to him by Bucky.

“Someone’s tired,” Bucky teases, when TJ yawns for the third time in about as many minutes. “Time for bed, huh?”

“No,” TJ whines, flopping across Bucky’s lap, but promptly yawns again. “‘Nother story, please?”

Bucky pretends to consider for a few seconds, but has to laugh at TJ’s upside down pouty face. “Teeth and pyjamas first.”

TJ scrambles off the couch, whooping, with Bucky following more sedately, chuckling quietly under his breath. He empties the dishwasher and puts everything away, then reloads it with their dishes from dinner. He’s wiping down the table when TJ skids into the kitchen, right into Bucky’s legs, decidedly not in his PJs.

“Up, Bucky, up,” he demands, insistently tugging at Bucky’s shirt until Bucky, heaving a sigh, lifts him up onto his hip. “It’s you an’ daddy, look!”

Bucky has to set him down on the counter so he can take the slip of paper TJ’s waving at him, which turns out to be a picture of Bucky and Tony. It’s a selfie they took the morning after the first time Tony had spent the night at Bucky’s; Tony is beaming at the camera, eyes half closed, his whole body turned into Bucky’s chest while Bucky nuzzles him, mouth open against Tony’s cheek, one arm stretched up to take the picture, the other wrapped firmly around Tony.

“Where,” Bucky starts, then has to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in his throat. “Where’d you get this, sweetheart?”

TJ nearly faceplants off the counter in his eagerness. Bucky catches him around the waist, and levels him with a warning look before setting him down more slowly. TJ leads him through the living room, out into the hall, and then vanishes inside Tony’s bedroom. Bucky hesitates on the threshold, because for all that he’s been here once a week over the last three or so months, going into Tony’s bedroom feels intimate, somehow, like he’s intruding.

But then TJ calls, “Bucky, come see,” and Bucky figures he probably should go in, if only to make sure TJ isn’t making a huge mess. Which he isn’t, but he is trying to drag a moving box out of the closet, looking hilariously offended when it doesn’t work, and he lands flat on his butt instead.

“C’mere, lemme help,” Bucky says, lifting it out for him. He feels obligated to ask, “Does your dad know you’re goin’ through his stuff?”

“Yes,” TJ says absently, which is so very clearly a lie, Bucky has to bite his tongue so he doesn’t laugh. He plops down on the floor, and rifles through the contents of the box for a moment before holding something else out to Bucky. “Look, Tesla!”

“Shit,” Bucky blurts, and goes to sit cross-legged next to TJ, taking the pink stuffed bear from him. Belatedly, he warns, “Don’t repeat that, ‘kay?”

“Bad word,” TJ acknowledges, but he’s already back to digging through the box.

Bucky, though, is still reeling, staring down at the teddy in his lap. They’d gone to Coney Island for one of their first dates, spending way too much money on junk food and rigged carnival games. Bucky’d managed to not suck completely at exactly one of them, and won the pink teddy—named Tesla by Tony, because of course—for Tony.

And Tony had kept it. And told TJ about it. Which means—something? Maybe?

The curiosity gets the better of Bucky, and he scoots closer to peer into the box. He’s careful not to lose anything as he moves an envelope overflowing with ticket stubs and receipts aside, and smiles fondly, heart fluttering, when he finds more pictures. He grimaces at the cut out newspaper articles about his alleged death and unlikely rescue months later, but there’s hope underneath the old hurt now, because these mean that Tony thought of him, has kept track of him over the years. He starts to laugh when he comes across one of his favourite v-neck shirts, thought lost years ago, but it dies in his throat when he sees what’s underneath.

Hand shaking, Bucky picks up the small velvet box, stroking his thumb over it, but not opening it yet. He wants to, more than anything, but at the same time, he doesn’t want the confirmation that he lost even more than he’d previously known.

It’s TJ who, after he must have grown bored of watching Bucky’s impending emotional breakdown, opens it for him, and takes out the ring. “Pretty! Bucky, look, it’s pretty,” he coos, turning it over in his fingers. Then he glances up at Bucky, face scrunched up into a confused frown, and asks, “Yours? From daddy?”

And that is what makes Bucky snap. He grabs TJ and gets up, determined to finally get to the bottom of things. Because this isn’t right, none of it is; they’d been happy, him and Tony, they’d talked about moving in together, had even had tentative plans to start a family after Bucky’s last long deployment overseas. Tony had wanted to propose, to marry him, not break up.

Not until their night out with the Howlies, anyway.

- Potrix

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #alpha bucky #omega tony #kid fic #misunderstandings #hurt/comfort #parent tony #parent bucky #tony is a sap #thelongwayround #prompts #potrix

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organicdietguide · 4 years ago

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A Week-by-Week Stages of Pregnancy | Stages of pregnancy

A Week-by-Week Stages of Pregnancy

The Real Mom’s Guide

Week by Week Pregnancy Week 1 & 2 During the first two weeks of pregnancy, you are technically not pregnant yet. During these weeks, you will menstruate, after which your body will prepare to ovulate.

Pregnancy Week 3 The third week is around the time that ovulation and conception occur. During this week, fetal development will begin, including the development of the brain and spinal cord.

Pregnancy Week 4 Between the fourth and seventh weeks of pregnancy is when many women discover they are pregnant. You may begin to experience various pregnancy symptoms.

Pregnancy Week 5 During the fifth week, you will want to schedule your first prenatal appointment. At this point, you may also begin to experience morning sickness.

6 Weeks Pregnant At this point, you may experience nausea, breast changes, and heartburn, among other symptoms. Your baby’s vital organs are also developing.

Pregnancy Week 7 By the seventh week, every vital organ has begun to develop in your baby’s body. Also, while morning sickness is unpleasant, there are steps you can take to find relief.

Pregnancy Week 8 During the eighth week, you will probably experience morning sickness, and your baby is growing. You will also probably have your first prenatal appointment this month.

The simple lifestyle shifts in the Eat Sleep Burn ugly belly fat…

Pregnancy Week 9

At nine weeks, your baby is about the size of a grape and may start sucking on his/her thumb. Find out how you can prevent heartburn and get a better night’s sleep.

Pregnancy Week 10

While most of your baby’s organs are present by the 10th week, they will continue to mature throughout your pregnancy. Also, find exercises to stay healthy during pregnancy.

Pregnancy Week 11

At 11 weeks, you only have a couple of weeks left in the first trimester. While you may not be able to feel any movement at this point, your baby is becoming more active.

Pregnancy Week 12

You have almost completed the first trimester! Your baby is continuing to grow, and you want to eat well to get the proper nutrients for both you and your baby.

Pregnancy Week 13

As you finish your first trimester, you will begin to notice many changes with your body, including stretch marks. Also, your baby now has a unique set of fingerprints.

Pregnancy Week 14

Congratulations on beginning your second trimester! You and your baby are continuing to grow. Learn how to manage stress in a healthy way.

Belly Fat in Women

Pregnancy Week 15

By the 15th week, your doctor may begin measuring your fundal height to monitor growth. Also, discover the best sleeping position for pregnancy.

Pregnancy Week 16:

Your developing baby As you enter your 16th week, your blood volume has increased, you may have a pregnancy glow, and your baby is getting ready for a growth spurt.

Pregnancy Week 17

By the 17th week, you are well into your second trimester. Your baby is developing adipose, your abdomen is growing, and you may experience sciatic nerve pain.

Pregnancy Week 18

By 18 weeks, your pregnancy bump is starting to show more. You may need to take time to rest during the day. You may also have your third prenatal appointment soon.

Pregnancy Week 19

During the 19th week, you may experience round ligament pain and dizziness. Talk with your doctor before using any medication or herbal remedies.

Pregnancy Week 20

Congratulations on making it half-way through your pregnancy! Now is a great time to start creating a birth plan. Also make sure you are consuming enough iron.

Pregnancy Week 21

At 21 weeks, you are well into your second trimester. For many women, this is the most enjoyable trimester. Enjoy this time as your baby continues to grow.

Healthy Diet Plant-Based Diet

Pregnancy Week 22

By 22 weeks, your baby is looking more like a newborn, although there is much more growing to do. This is a good time to sign up to take a childbirth education class.

Pregnancy Week 23

At 23 weeks, your baby is continuing to develop. This is also a great time to finalize plans for maternity leave and begin discussing options for paternity leave.

Pregnancy Week 24

By the 24th week, your baby’s brain is developing rapidly, and the lungs are maturing. You may be experiencing heartburn and changes in your skin.

Pregnancy Week 25

At 25 weeks, your uterus is about the size of a soccer ball. Your baby is gaining fat, and you may be able to find out your baby’s gender at this point.

Pregnancy Week 26

At 26 weeks, you have almost reached your third trimester! At your next appointment , you can expect your doctor to perform some routine screenings.

Pregnancy Week 27

At 27 weeks, you have begun your third trimester! At this point, you can feel your baby move more. This is also a great time to pick out an infant car seat.

Pregnancy Week 28

Around the 28th week, you will begin having more frequent prenatal appointments. This is also a great time to make plans for your trip to the hospital.

Pregnancy Week 29

At 29 weeks, it is important that you are getting adequate amounts of nutrients and rest. This is a great time to discuss you birth plan with your partner.

30 Weeks Pregnant At 30 weeks, you may be feeling more tired, and your joints may feel looser. This is the time to think about your pain relief options for when you deliver.

Pregnancy Week 31 At 31 weeks, you may experience Braxton Hicks contractions and start leaking colostrum. This is a great time to decide whether to breastfeed or bottle-feed.

Lifestyle Changes to Improve Your Cholesterol

Pregnancy Week 32

By your 32nd week, you will probably have prenatal appointments every two weeks. Look into making a decision on whether or not to keep your baby’s cord blood.

Pregnancy Week 33

Starting in the 33rd week, you may notice leaking amniotic fluid. You will also want to take preventative measures to reduce your chances of needing an episiotomy.

Pregnancy Week 34

By the 34th week, your baby’s lungs are well-developed. At this point, your doctor may recommend that you begin massaging your perineum to prevent an episiotomy.

Pregnancy Week 35

At 35 weeks, you may feel short of breath. You may also notice a change in your baby’s movements. Around this week, it is important to start tracking your baby’s kick counts.

Pregnancy Week 36

At 36 weeks, you only have a month to go. You may experience an increase in Braxton Hicks contractions. This is a good time to go ahead and pack your bag for the hospital.

Pregnancy Week 37

During your 37th week, your cervix will begin to dilate and efface. You may also pass your mucus plug. Take time to finish any preparations before your baby arrives.

Pregnancy Week 38

At 38 weeks, most of your baby’s organs are fully functional, and you could go into labor at any time. Try to rest, and enjoy these last few days before you meet your baby.

Pregnancy Week 39

At 39 weeks, you may not have noticed many changes over the past couple weeks. Your baby could arrive at any point, so make sure to rest and enjoy this time.

Pregnancy Week 40

Congratulations on reaching the end of your pregnancy! You will probably meet your baby this week. Learn some helpful tips for when you are in labor.

Severe morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum causes persistent nausea and vomiting, particularly during the first 12 pregnancy weeks. This may lead to first trimester symptoms of weight loss and dehydration, requiring IV fluids and antinausea medication.

Best Diets Weight loss Diet plans

Pregnant women should be aware of the possibility of developing gestational diabetes. It causes symptoms like excessive thirst and hunger, frequent urination, and fatigue. Obesity and excessive weight gain are possible, especially as the pregnancy progresses.

Women are supposed to gain weight during pregnancy.

A Week-by-Week Stages of Pregnancy | Stages of pregnancy

Secret Anabolic Recipes | Cook Healthy | Muscle Building Meals

First Trimester: Week 1– Week 12:

The early changes that signify pregnancy become present in the first trimester.

A missed period may be the first sign that fertilization and implantation have occurred, ovulation has ceased, and you are pregnant. Other changes will also occur.

Some signs of early pregnancy in many women include symptoms like:

Extreme fatigue

Tender, swollen breasts. Nipples may protrude.

Nausea with or without throwing up (morning sickness)

Cravings or aversion to certain foods

Mood swings

Constipation

Frequent urination

Headache

Heartburn

Weight gain or loss. Breastfeeding superfoods

First Trimester: The Baby at 4 Weeks Development of embryo at approximately 4-6 weeks.

At 4 weeks, your baby is developing:

The nervous system (brain and spinal cord) has begun to form The heart begins to form Arm and leg buds begin to develop.

Your baby is now an embryo and 1/25 of an inch long.

First Trimester: The Baby at 8 Weeks.

At 8 weeks, the embryo begins to develop into a fetus. Fetal development is apparent:

All major organs have begun to form.

The baby’s heart begins to beat.

The arms and legs grow longer.

Fingers and toes have begun to form.

Sex organs begin to form.

The face begins to develop features.

The umbilical cord is clearly visible.

At the end of 8 weeks, your baby is a fetus, and is nearly 1 inch long, weighing less than ⅛ of an ounce.

First Trimester: The Baby at 12 Weeks.

The end of the first trimester is at about week 12, at this point in your baby’s development:

The nerves and muscles begin to work together. Your baby can make a fist.

The external sex organs show if your baby is a boy or girl.

Eyelids close to protect the developing eyes. They will not open again until week 28.

second trimester: Week 13 – Week 28 Changes a Woman May Experience

you will also notice more changes to your body.

That “baby bump” will start to show as your abdomen expands with the growing baby.

By the end of the second trimester you will even be able to feel your baby move!

some changes you may notice in your body in the second trimester include:

Back, abdomen, groin, or thigh aches and pains

Stretch marks on your abdomen, breasts, thighs, or buttocks Darkening of the skin around your nipples.

A line on the skin running from belly button to pubic hairline (linea nigra)

Patches of darker skin, usually over the cheeks, forehead, nose, or upper lip. This is sometimes called the mask of pregnancy (melasma, or Chloasma facies).

Numb or tingling hands (carpal tunnel syndrome)

Itching on the abdomen, palms, and soles of the feet. (Call your doctor if you have nausea, loss of appetite, vomiting, yellowing of skin, or fatigue combined with itching. These can be signs of a liver problem.)

Swelling of the ankles, fingers, and face. (If you notice any sudden or extreme swelling or if you gain a lot of weight quickly, call your doctor immediately.

This could be a sign of a serious condition called preeclampsia.)

Second Trimester: The Baby at 16 Weeks.

The human fetus at about four months showing the head and upper limbs and the umbilical cord which connects the fetus (at the navel) to the placenta.

As your body changes in the second trimester, your baby continues to develop:

The musculoskeletal system continues to form.

Skin begins to form and is nearly translucent.

Meconium develops in your baby’s intestinal tract. This will be your baby’s first bowel movement.

Your baby begins sucking motions with the mouth (sucking reflex).

Your baby is about 4 to 5 inches long and weighs almost 3 ounces.

Second Trimester: The Baby at 20 Weeks:

Human fetus near his fifth month of development.

At about 20 weeks in the second trimester, your baby continues to develop:

Your baby is more active. You might feel movement or kicking.

Your baby is covered by fine, feathery hair called lanugo and a waxy protective coating called vernix.

Eyebrows, eyelashes, fingernails, and toenails have formed. Your baby can even scratch itself.

Your baby can hear and swallow.

Now halfway through your pregnancy, your baby is about 6 inches long and weighs about 9 ounces.

Second Trimester: The Baby at 24 Weeks

Human fetus at approximately 24 weeks showing details of his closed eyes, nose, mouth, and facial hair.

By 24 weeks, even more changes occur for your growing baby:

The baby’s bone marrow begins to make blood cells Taste buds form on your baby’s tongue.

Footprints and fingerprints have formed.

Hair begins to grow on your baby’s head.

The lungs are formed, but do not yet work.

Your baby has a regular sleep cycle.

If your baby is a boy, his testicles begin to descend into the scrotum. If your baby is a girl, her uterus and ovaries are in place, and a lifetime supply of eggs has formed in the ovaries.

Your baby stores fat and weighs about 1½ pounds, and is 12 inches long.

Third Trimester: Week 29 – Week 40 Changes a Woman May Experience

In the third and final trimester you will notice more physical changes, including:

Swelling of the ankles, fingers, and face. (If you notice any sudden or extreme swelling or if you gain a lot of weight really quickly, call your doctor right away.

This could be a sign of a serious condition called preeclampsia.)

Hemorrhoids.

Tender breasts, which may leak a watery pre-milk called colostrum

Your belly button may protrude.

The baby “dropping,” or moving lower in your abdomen.

Contractions, which can be a sign of real or false labor Other symptoms you may notice in the third trimester include shortness of breath, heartburn, and difficulty sleeping.

Third Trimester: Changes as the Due Date Approaches.

A doctor examines a pregnant woman’s belly.

Other changes are happening in your body during the third trimester that you can’t see. As your due date approaches, your cervix becomes thinner and softer in a process called effacement that helps the cervix open during childbirth.

Your doctor will monitor the progress of your pregnancy with regular exams, especially as you near your due date.

Third Trimester: The Baby at 32 Weeks The human fetus at 8 months, almost full term.

At 32 weeks in the third trimester, your baby’s development continues.

Your baby’s bones are soft but fully formed

Movements and kicking increase.

The eyes can open and close.

Lungs are not fully formed, but practice “breathing” movements occur.

Your baby’s body begins to store vital minerals, such as iron and calcium Lanugo (fine hair) begins to fall off.

Your baby is gaining about ½ pound a week, weighs about 4 to 4½ pounds, and is about 15 to 17 inches long.

Human fetus in utero at approximately 36 weeks.

At 36 weeks, as your due date approaches, your baby continues development:

The protective waxy coating (vernix) thickens Body fat increases.

Your baby is getting bigger and has less space to move around. Movements are less forceful, but you will still feel them.

Your baby is about 16 to 19 inches long and weighs about 6 to 6½ pounds.

Third Trimester: The baby at 37 to 40 Weeks A mom looks at her newborn child.

Finally, from 37 to 40 weeks the last stages of your baby’s development occur:

By the end of 37 weeks, your baby is considered full term.

Your baby’s organs are capable of functioning on their own.

As you near your due date, your baby may turn into a head-down position for birth.

Average birth weight is between 6 pounds 2 ounces to 9 pounds 2 ounces and average length is 19 to 21 inches long.

Most full-term babies fall within these ranges, but healthy babies come in many different weights and sizes.

Women’s Health

Nutritional Needs During Pregnancy

Health and Pregnancy

Pregnancy Tips on Health, Your Body

Preparing for A BabyWeight Loss Tips

Diet Guides

#Breast feeding diet health woman mother pregnancy weight loss women

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oassignment · 5 years ago

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NSG 6005 Final Exam 2 – Question and Answers

NSG 6005 Final Exam – Question with Answers

https://www.oassignment.com/product/nsg-6005-final-exam-question-and-answers/

An ACE inhibitor and what other class of drug may reduce proteinuria in patients with diabetes better than either drug alone?

Adam has type I diabetes and plays tennis for his university. He exhibits knowledge deficit about his insulin and his diagnosis. He should be taught that:

Age is a factor in different responses to pain. Which of the following age-related statements about pain is not true?

Alterations in drug metabolism among Asians may lead to:

Amiodarone has been prescribed in a patient with a supraventricular dysrhythmia. Patient teaching should include all of the following except:

Anticholinergic agents, such as benztropine (Cogentin), may be given with a phenothiazine to:

An appropriate drug for the treatment of depression with anxiety would be:

Cara is taking levetiracetam (Keppra) to treat seizures. Routine education for levetiracetam includes reminding her:

Cecilia presents with depression associated with complaints of fatigue, sleeping all the time, and lack of motivation. An appropriate initial antidepressant for her would be:

Chemical dependency assessment is integral to the initial assessment of chronic pain. Which of the following raises a “red flag” about potential chemical dependency?

Common mistakes practitioners make in treating anxiety disorders include:

David presents to clinic with symptoms of allergic conjunctivitis. He is prescribed cromolyn sodium (Opticrom) eyedrops. The education regarding using cromolyn eyedrops includes which one of the following tips?

The DEA:

Diagnostic criteria for diabetes include:

Disease states in addition to hypertension in which beta blockade is a compelling indication for the use of beta blockers include:

The drug of choice for type II diabetics is metformin. Metformin:

The drug recommended as primary prevention of osteoporosis in men over seventy years is:

.The drug recommended as primary prevention of osteoporosis in women over seventy years old is:

The drugs recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics for use in children with diabetes (depending upon type of diabetes) are:

Drugs that have a significant first-pass effect:

Dwayne has classic tinea capitis. Treatment for tinea on the scalp is:

Dwayne was recently started on carbamazepine to treat seizures. He comes to see you, and you note that while his carbamazepine levels had been in the therapeutic range, they are now low. The possible cause for the low carbamazepine levels is:

Erik presents with a golden-crusted lesion at the site of an insect bite consistent with impetigo. His parents have limited finances and request the least expensive treatment. Which medication would be the best choice for treatment?

First-line therapy for hyperlipidemia is:

First-line therapy for treating topical fungal infections such as tinea corporis (ringworm) or tinea pedis (athlete’s foot) would be:

Furosemide is added to a treatment regimen for heart failure, which includes digoxin. Monitoring for this combination includes:

Genetic polymorphisms account for differences in metabolism, including:

Genetic testing for VCORC1 mutation to assess potential warfarin resistance is required prior to prescribing warfarin.

Goals of treatment when treating hypothyroidism with thyroid replacement include:

Heart failure is a chronic condition that can be adequately managed in primary care. However, consultation with or referral to a cardiologist is appropriate when:

Hypoglycemia can result from the action of either insulin or an oral hypoglycemic. Signs and symptoms of hypoglycemia include:

If a patient with H. pylori positive PUD fails first-line therapy, the second-line treatment is:

In addition to methimazole, a symptomatic patient with hyperthyroidism may need a prescription for:

Inadequate vitamin D intake can contribute to the development of osteoporosis by:

Incorporating IT into a patient encounter takes skill and tact. During the encounter, the provider can make the patient more comfortable with the IT the provider is using by:

Infants with reflux are initially ……with:

In five- to eleven-year-old children, mild-persistent asthma is ……when asthma symptoms occur:

Jack, eight years old, has attention deficit disorder (ADD) and is prescribed methylphenidate (Ritalin). He and his parents should be educated about the side effects of methylphenidate, which are:

Janie presents to clinic with hard ear wax in both ear canals. Instructions regarding home removal of hard cerumen includes:

Jim presents with complaints of “heart burn” that is minimally relieved with Tums (calcium carbonate) and is diagnosed with GERD. An appropriate first step therapy would be:

Jim presents with fungal infection of two of his toenails (onychomycosis). Treatment for fungal infections of the nail includes:

Josie is a five-year-old who presents to the clinic with a forty-eight-hour history of nausea, vomiting, and some diarrhea. She is unable to keep fluids down, and her weight is 4 pounds less than her last recorded weight. Besides intravenous (IV) fluids, her exam warrants the use of an antinausea medication. Which of the following would be the appropriate drug to order for Josie?

Kirk sprained his ankle and is asking for pain medication for his mild-to-moderate pain. The appropriate first-line medication would be __________.

Liza is breastfeeding her two-month-old son, and she has an infection that requires an antibiotic. What drug factors influence the effect of the drug on the infant?

Long-acting beta-agonists received a black box warning from the US Food and Drug Administration due to the:

Long-term treatment of moderate atopic dermatitis includes:

Medications used in the management of patients with COPD include:

Monitoring for a child on methylphenidate for ADHD includes:

Narcotics are exogenous opiates. They act by ______.

A nineteen-year-old male was ……on risperidone. Monitoring for risperidone includes observing for common side effects, including:

Nonadherence is especially common in drugs that treat asymptomatic conditions, such as hypertension. One way to reduce the likelihood of nonadherence to these drugs is to prescribe a drug that:

Off-Label prescribing is:

One goal of asthma management in children is:

The ongoing monitoring of patients over the age sixty-five years taking alendronate (Fosamax) or any other bisphosphonate is:

A patient has been prescribed silver sulfadiazine (Silvadene) cream to treat burns on his or her leg. Normal adverse effects of silver sulfadiazine cream include:

Patients who are on or who will be starting chronic corticosteroid therapy need monitoring of __________.

Patients who have angina, regardless of class, who are also diabetic should be on:

A patient with a COPD exacerbation may require:

Patients with psychiatric illnesses have adherence rates to their drug regimen between 35% and 60%. To improve adherence in this population, prescribe drugs:

Pharmacokinetics among Asians are universal to all the Asian ethnic groups.

A potentially life-threatening adverse response to ACE inhibitors is angioedema. Which of the following statements is true about this adverse response?

Prescribing for women during their childbearing years requires constant awareness of the possibility of:

Prior to prescribing metformin, the provider should:

Progesterone-only pills are recommended for women who nsg 6005 final exam.

Sadie is a seventy-two-year-old who takes omeprazole for her chronic GERD. Chronic long-term omeprazole use places her at increased risk for:

Sarah, a forty-two-year-old female, requests a prescription for an anorexiant to treat her obesity. A trial of phentermine is ……. Prescribing precautions include understanding that:

Scott is presenting for follow-up on his lipid panel. He had elevated total cholesterol, elevated triglycerides, and an LDL of 122 mg/dL. He-has already implemented diet changes and increased physical activity. He has mildly elevated liver studies. An appropriate next step for therapy would be:

Second-generation antihistamines such as loratadine (Claritin) are …..for seasonal allergies because they:

Severe contact dermatitis caused by poison ivy or poison oak exposure often requires treatment with:

Sitagliptin has been approve for:

A sixty-six-year-old male was …..phenelzine (Nardil) while in an acute psychiatric unit for recalcitrant depression. nsg 6005 final exam. The nurse practitioner managing his primary healthcare needs to understand the following regarding phenelzine and other monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs):

Six-year-old Lucy has recently been …..on ethosuximide (Zarontin) for seizures. She should be monitor for:

Stage C patients usually require a combination of three to four drugs to manage their heart failure. In addition to ACE inhibitors and beta blockers, diuretics may be added. Which of the following statements about diuretics is not true?

A stepwise approach to the pharmacologic management of asthma:

Studies have shown that control targets that reduce the hemoglobin A1c to less than 7% are ……with fewer long-term complications of diabetes. Patients who should have such a target include:

Tiotropium bromide (Spiriva) is an inhaled anticholinergic:

To reduce mortality, all patients with angina, regardless of class, should be on:

The treatment for vitamin B12 deficiency is:

Treatment of a patient with hypothyroidism and cardiovascular disease consists of:

When prescribing any headache therapy, appropriate use of medications needs to be …..to prevent medication-overuse headaches. The clinical characteristics of medication-overuse headaches include ________.

When Sam used clotrimazole (Lotrimin AF) for athlete’s foot, he developed a red, itchy rash consistent with a hypersensitivity reaction. nsg 6005 final exam. He now has athlete’s foot again. What would be a good choice of antifungal for Sam?

The trial period to determine effective anti-inflammatory activity when starting a patient on aspirin for RA is _____.

Which of the following adverse effects may occur due to a dihydropyridine-type calcium channel blocker?

Which of the following factors may adversely affect a patient’s adherence to a therapeutic drug regimen?

A twenty-four-year-old male received multiple fractures in a motor vehicle accident that required significant amounts of opioid medication to treat his pain. He is at risk for Type __ ADR when he no longer requires the opioids.

The type of ADR that is the result of an …..but otherwise normal pharmacological action of a drug given in the usual therapeutic doses is nsg 6005 final exam

Unlike most type II diabetics where obesity is a major issue, older adults with low body weight have higher risks for morbidity and mortality. The most reliable indicator of poor nutritional status in older adults is:

Vicky, age fifty-six years, comes to clinic requesting a refill of her Fiorinal (aspirin and butalbital) that she takes for migraines. nsg 6005 final exam. She has been taking this medication for over two years for migraine and states one dose usually works to abort her migraine. What is the best care for her?

Warfarin resistance may be ….in patients with VCORC1 mutation, leading to:

What impact does developmental variation in renal function has on prescribing for infants and children?

When a patient is on selective-serotonin reuptake inhibitors:

Which of the following classes of drugs is contraindicate in heart failure?

Which of the following disease processes could be …..worse by taking a nonselective beta blocker?

When obtaining a drug history from Harold, he gives you a complete list of his prescription medications. He denies taking any other drugs, but you find that he occasionally takes aspirin for his arthritis flare-ups. This is an example of:

When starting a patient with hypothyroidism on thyroid replacement hormones, patient education would include the following:

Which of the following is the goal of treatment of acute pain?

Which of the following is the mechanism of action of oral combine contraceptives that prevent pregnancy?

A woman who has migraine with aura:

Which of the following statements is true about age and pain?

A woman with an intact uterus should not be ….:

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timclymer · 5 years ago

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Barbara’s Ovarian Cancer Story Part II

Ovarian Cancer: Process and Survival

Post Surgery

Read Part I for information regarding diagnosis and surgery…

The next few weeks after my discharge from the hospital, were very busy. My sister, Nance, and my mom decorated the house and Christmas tree. My sister Lauren visited from Washington and cleaned, cooked and lent invaluable support to all of us. There were visits to the surgeon for follow-up and the oncologist for the initial visit. John and my sisters accompanied me. It was so very helpful to have someone else ask questions and write down information. It can be an overwhelming experience, especially when you’re a little “spaced out” on vicodin for pain management, as I was. I signed on to be part of a clinical study using different combinations of medications for eight instead of the normal six cycles. Laurie had brought a book with her that offered a lot of information on how to deal with an ovarian cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatments. One suggestion was to research clinical studies. There is a great deal of “cutting edge” research out there but you may have to hunt for it, do your homework, and bring the information to your doctor. My oncologist’s office was conducting a trial, I was accepted, and I was scheduled to begin treatment on December 21.

Even though I was dreading the whole process, I knew I had to approach it in much the same way I did the surgery, almost like an athletic event or a race. I wanted to go in as strong and as prepared as possible and with a better “attitude.”

Attitude is defined as a manner of acting, feeling or thinking that shows one’s disposition, opinion and mental set. We may not be able to control a situation, but we can choose our attitude about that situation- victim or fighter; passive or aggressive; depressed or striving toward joy and happiness; caught in the “why me’s” or searching for the “what can I learn from this.” With the help of many people and through much reading and research, my “attitude-adjustment” process unfolded.

A booklet entitled “Preparing for Chemo” suggests several things that I immediately put into action.

1) Get your hair cut short so that when your hair starts falling out, it’s less traumatic and won’t clog the shower’s drain. (This worked for the drains but I was still traumatized.)

2) If you plan to wear a wig, shop for it before starting chemo. My sisters and my dear friend and hairdresser Patty, helped with both of these steps. Watching my long hair fall to the floor was very hard and yet made me feel the tiniest bit more in control of what was happening to me. To my surprise, everyone loved my new hairdo. The compliments boosted my ego when I really needed it. Nance and Laurie accompanied me to the wig shop. Laughter is very good medicine-and we laughed a lot as we all played with the wigs before settling on two very nice ones. Four hundred dollars later I was armed with my hair prosthetics and a sore belly from laughing. At this writing, I am sporting my own very short hair after nine months of wigs and hats.

3) The booklet suggests having a dental check up and cleaning before starting chemo. Also important is giving your home a thorough cleaning and perhaps scheduling someone to come in once a week thereafter- a clean house can minimize exposure to infectious agents.

4) Building up strength through exercise and a good diet can help minimize some of the side effects of chemo. This booklet and other helpful literature, is available through oncology offices and offers good practical information. I also found the library and the internet to be good resources.

Shortly after my homecoming, from the hospital, I received a telephone call from Lindy, a volunteer with the Cancer Society (set up by my husband and the cancer support staff at the hospital.) She had been diagnosed and treated for Stage IIIc ovarian cancer seven years ago. Hearing from her gave me a real boost and some good tips for dealing with the upcoming chemo. She shared her experiences with surgery, hair loss and complete recovery! She is still cancer free! In addition to advice on make-up to camouflage the fact that one has no eyebrows or eyelashes, she told me how helpful acupuncture was for her. She felt that it really minimized some of the chemo side-effects and “rebalanced” her body’s energy. I had had a few sessions of acupuncture many years ago, and I immediately knew that this would be right for me. I believe in its efficacy and definitely feel the sessions have been very beneficial.

My first acupuncture session was four days after the first chemo treatment. The meds they gave me to prevent nausea worked very well. I didn’t have much of an appetite and felt a little achy and tired but the only real side effect I experienced was a terrible, hand-wringing itching and tingling in my hands and feet. Amy, my acupuncturist, has worked with several people undergoing chemo, is very knowledgeable, and had a good treatment plan in place for me. I scheduled to see her 2 days before and 4 days after every chemo session. After my first visit with her, I did feel better, more energized and the itching had definitely dissipated a good deal. She gave me some suggestions on supplements and some Chinese herbs to use.

The side effect of itching, burning and tingling is called neuropathy and is fairly common with the types of chemo protocol I was on. After my second and third sessions, the symptoms worsened! I turned to the internet to learn more about neuropathy and what, if anything, I could do about it. I found an article by Cindy H. Makencon, website: http://www.ovarian-news.org, entitled “coping-Tips for dealing with neuropathy.” She offered a great deal of helpful information including reports of studies on the benefits of taking fairly large doses of L-Glutamine Sulfate and Chondroitin. I forwarded this information onto Carolyn, the research nurse in charge of my clinical study, and she shared the information with the oncologist. I had already started taking L-Glutamine when I met with him. He had further researched and developed a new treatment plan for me which included large doses of L-Glutamine, a change in one of the chemo meds, and the addition of a medication called neurontin. The combination of all these things worked! The neuropathy gradually subsided and I’ve had no further problems.

I believe a few other factors contributed to my being able to handle the chemo pretty well. I continued to increase my exercise regimen, progressing to walking everyday and then back to the gym for step-classes, albeit modified, and lifting light weights. Exercise builds muscle strength, increases oxygen and blood flow and for me, was and is a real physical and mental energy boost.

I came across a book entitled: “Herbal Therapy & Supplements- a Scientific and Traditional Approach” written by Merrily A. Kuhn, RN, Ph.D. and David Winston, a herbalist and ethnobiologist. The book was part of an at-home study course that I needed to complete for my RN Continuing Education Credits. The book offers a comprehensive guide to many common and some less common herbs and supplements, their uses, adverse effects, contraindications, and drug-herb interactions. After careful research, I started using several herbs and supplements designed to minimize chemo side effects and boost my immune system. I was careful to use things that do not stimulate estrogen in the body as my cancer was estrogen-receptor positive. I started taking these supplements one or two things at a time in smaller doses in order to monitor any unfavorable reactions, before adding more. Most importantly, I notified my doctor that I was taking supplements and having acupuncture.

At the end of this article, I will offer a complete list of the supplements and herbs that I have been using and some information regarding the rationale for each of these additions.

For several months, our kitchen counter resembled a drug and supplement store. I had to write up a daily schedule of what to take when. It was worth it! Once the neuropathy was under control, I tolerated the remainder of the chemo treatments pretty well. I was able to work full time and exercise, and my appetite and energy levels were good. Physically, acupuncture, exercise, diet, and supplements were, and still are, valuable tools which helped me deal with the chemo and recover from its serious effects.

On another level, the emotional and spiritual aids were an even more powerful part of the healing process. Previously, I mentioned my visualizations regarding pre and post operative healing and seeing myself healthy and cancer free. Now, it was time to take it a step further and include it as a powerful adjunct to the chemo medications. Rather than seeing the meds as a poison, I started to visualize it as “nectar from the gods,” washing through me and being taken up by my immune cells as a potion to destroy cancer cells. A few weeks before my first treatment, I read an article about a young local girl who had battled cancer at age 16. She wrote a book about her experience and included her thoughts on seeing her chemo as “nectar from the gods.” I admired her outlook and incorporated it into my work. My husband, John, created a special tape for me to listen to while receiving the infusion of chemo. This guided exercise included relaxation, healing messages, and suggestions for picturing my immune cells taking care of things and using the chemo effectively. Before each chemo session, even before they started the IV, he would do a relaxation exercise with me. This ritual became a very important part of the process. By working on my “attitude” towards the chemo and by connecting with these parts of myself that can be powerful self-healers, I felt I was taking back control of what was happening. Feeling that you are part of the healing process instead of a passive receiver of medications etc., is very empowering.

Rituals and routines are very comforting, especially when you’re experiencing stressful times. My “chemo ritual” evolved from the very first session. The night before, I meditated and did my healing visualizations at bedtime. John drove me to the oncology center. I selected my chair and we settled in with his relaxation exercise. My sister, Nance, arrived bearing muffins and silly magazines. After visiting and chatting, John left for work and Nance and I munched muffins and laughed at the National Enquirer stories. About an hour before the infusion was completed, my brother, Tom, would arrive for a visit and to take me home. Somewhere in the session, my sister, Laurie, would call from Washington to check in and often John would “pop in” in his travels. I always had company and felt lovingly supported. Sabrina included me in her meditation every morning and my mom would stop by the day after the session for tea and a chat. Every three weeks from December 21 through May 27, we followed this routine. The nurses and my family got to know one another and we became a real team!

Returning to work seven weeks after surgery was another normalizing routine that made me feel like I was taking back my life. Except for the day of chemo and the following day, I have worked full time, feeling productive, healthy and normal. My co-workers have been very supportive and caring. They even threw me a graduation party to celebrate the completion of chemo.

Even before my last chemo, I was researching what to do to prevent a recurrence of the disease. I found information on a clinical study for Ovarex, a vaccine designed to prevent a recurrence of ovarian cancer. After many phone calls, letters and haggling with my insurance company, I was accepted into a study being conducted at Stanford’s Cancer Center in Palo Alto. It involved monthly infusions for the first three months and then every twelve weeks for the rest of the year, with routine labs and CT scans. I have experienced only mild side effects and feel fortunate to have access to one more tool.

This past year has been one of lessons for me. I would have preferred the “universe” had given me a gentle tap on the shoulder instead of this Giant Thump on the head to let me know I had things to learn about myself and how “I am” in the world. Here are some of the things I have learned from this experience:

1. Pay attention – perhaps if I had agitated more forcefully with my doctor that something was NOT right, she would have responded with more attention. LISTEN to your body and trust your intuition.

2. Don’t take anything for granted – people, job, health, hair. When you face the loss of these things, you realize how special people are, how the day-to-day routine of a job is a gift, how precious good health is and even how much better a “bad hair” day is than NO HAIR!

3. There are a great many sources of invaluable information out there through people, libraries and the internet. Taking advantage of these resources allowed me to create a comprehensive plan to restore my health and fight the disease using a combination of Western and alternative therapies.

4. We do have choices in how we deal with a crisis – probably the best choice for me was to reach out and ask for help. The more people I told about my health issues, the more positive energy came my way. I felt empowered rather than vulnerable and armed with my helmet (a wig, which, by the way, I got complements on) and my armor (acupuncture, supplements, chemo, prayers and visualization) I was ready to do battle. I was “Warrior Princess” instead of cancer patient.

5. Laughter is GOOD MEDICINE!

At this writing, my labs and CT scans are completely normal. I am back to my normal routines of work and exercise. I am sporting a “Jamie Lee Curtis” hairdo. I am excited about decorating and shopping for Thanksgiving and when we all come together, we’ll have a lot to be thankful for! Before we dig into our feast, I will be asking each person to write on a piece of paper, one thing that they are grateful for. Each of us will then withdraw one of these papers from the basket and try to guess who wrote the message. It will be easy to guess mine. I am grateful for all the love and support from my family and friends (with a special thanks to my son, Matt, and my husband for shaving their heads to support me and to my son, Mike, and his band for dedicating songs to me at concerts and their fund raising for the Cancer Society.) I am grateful for the prayers and best wishes that came my way from people I do not even know. I thank you!!! Well, of course, that’s more than one thing on my piece of paper but so what! It’s time to celebrate!

Happy Thanksgiving 2004 and celebrate every day of your life.

Barbara’s Complete Ovarian Cancer Fighting Supplement List:

Three Imperial Mushroom Capsules – available through acupuncture office

A) Reishi- Immuno stimulant: enhances immune system; use is sanctioned by the Japanese Health Ministry as an adjunct treatment for cancer; Increases activity of chemotheraputic agents and reduces adverse effects such as nausea, decreased white blood cell counts; helps protect the liver against damage caused by viral, drug and environmental toxins.

B) Shitaki- strengthens immune system response; improves survival times of cancer patients when used concurrently with chemo.

C) Maitake- best known for cancer fighting properties; many doctors in Japan use it to lower blood pressure and blood lipids; effective as an anti-tumor agent and immune system modulator.

Echinacia- used in Germany along with chemo in the treatment of cancer. May enhance white blood cell counts in persons undergoing chemo.

Cat’s Claw- reduces side effects of chemo; used in clinical practice in Europe for cancer & HIV; has important immune enhancing properties; helps increase the number of T-cells, the true soldiers of the immune system. In Austria, it is used together with conventional treatment (chemo, radiation &/or surgery) to treat hundreds of cancer patients per year.

Graviola- scientists have been studying this herb since the 1940’s – four studies were published in 1998 re: significant anti-tumor properties and selective toxicity against various types of cancer cells (without harming healthy cells; Purdue University has conducted a great deal of research on the Annonaceous acetogenins family to which graviola belongs) much of which has been funded by the National Cancer Institute or the National Institute of Health.

Acidophyllis- rebalances intestinal flora (especially important when you’re taking a lot of medications.)

Multivitamins with Vitamin E

Calcium Supplement

IP-6 with Insositol- has been studied extensively for over 20 years; has powerful effects on the immune system.

Wheat Grass Juice- increases hemoglobin; rebuilds the blood; improves body’s ability to heal wounds; washes drug deposits from the body; neutralizes toxins and carcinogens in the body.

Green and White Tea- Chinese believe green tea is a cure for cancer and a longevity tonic; boosts immune system function; research being done all over the world and in the US by the National Cancer Institute re: anti-tumor activity. Both green and white tea are excellent antioxidants.

Website for researching herbs- Plant Database Raintree Nutrition

I used the guided relaxations/visualizations CD’s from the Stress Education Center-Dstress.com

1. #209 Stress Management for Pre and Post-op Survival

2. #208 Stress Management for Healing

Reference:

Health Update from SELF Magazine by Jennifer Nelson November, 2004

Ovarian cancer: a not-so-silent killer

“Early diagnosis is crucial. When disease is caught before it spreads, 80 percent of women will survive.”

by Barbara Ehlers-Mason, RN and L. John Mason, Ph.D.

Written in November, 2004, one year after the Surgery for Ovarian Cancer, in November, 2003

Stress Education Center (707) 795-2228 website: http://www.dstress.com

Source by L. John Mason

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/barbaras-ovarian-cancer-story-part-ii/ via Home Solutions on WordPress from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/187451427000 via Tim Clymer on Wordpress

#Home Solutions FOREV

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homesolutionsforev · 5 years ago

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Barbara’s Ovarian Cancer Story Part II

Ovarian Cancer: Process and Survival

Post Surgery

Read Part I for information regarding diagnosis and surgery…

A booklet entitled “Preparing for Chemo” suggests several things that I immediately put into action.

1) Get your hair cut short so that when your hair starts falling out, it’s less traumatic and won’t clog the shower’s drain. (This worked for the drains but I was still traumatized.)

At the end of this article, I will offer a complete list of the supplements and herbs that I have been using and some information regarding the rationale for each of these additions.

1. Pay attention – perhaps if I had agitated more forcefully with my doctor that something was NOT right, she would have responded with more attention. LISTEN to your body and trust your intuition.

5. Laughter is GOOD MEDICINE!

Happy Thanksgiving 2004 and celebrate every day of your life.

Barbara’s Complete Ovarian Cancer Fighting Supplement List:

Three Imperial Mushroom Capsules – available through acupuncture office

B) Shitaki- strengthens immune system response; improves survival times of cancer patients when used concurrently with chemo.

C) Maitake- best known for cancer fighting properties; many doctors in Japan use it to lower blood pressure and blood lipids; effective as an anti-tumor agent and immune system modulator.

Echinacia- used in Germany along with chemo in the treatment of cancer. May enhance white blood cell counts in persons undergoing chemo.

Acidophyllis- rebalances intestinal flora (especially important when you’re taking a lot of medications.)

Multivitamins with Vitamin E

Calcium Supplement

IP-6 with Insositol- has been studied extensively for over 20 years; has powerful effects on the immune system.

Wheat Grass Juice- increases hemoglobin; rebuilds the blood; improves body’s ability to heal wounds; washes drug deposits from the body; neutralizes toxins and carcinogens in the body.

Website for researching herbs- Plant Database Raintree Nutrition

I used the guided relaxations/visualizations CD’s from the Stress Education Center-Dstress.com

1. #209 Stress Management for Pre and Post-op Survival

2. #208 Stress Management for Healing

Reference:

Health Update from SELF Magazine by Jennifer Nelson November, 2004

Ovarian cancer: a not-so-silent killer

“Early diagnosis is crucial. When disease is caught before it spreads, 80 percent of women will survive.”

by Barbara Ehlers-Mason, RN and L. John Mason, Ph.D.

Written in November, 2004, one year after the Surgery for Ovarian Cancer, in November, 2003

Stress Education Center (707) 795-2228 website: http://www.dstress.com

Source by L. John Mason

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/barbaras-ovarian-cancer-story-part-ii/ via Home Solutions on WordPress

#Home Solutions Forev

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hopefulladybouquetme-blog · 7 years ago

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The Single Best Strategy To Use For white teeth

Veneers Expense Ontario

While reputation talks quantities, it is also crucial to perform a close evaluation of the medical professional's work in order to establish whether you feel his/her rate is justified. In a short article on exactly what to look for in a professional, the author suggests looking for a dental expert that concentrates on aesthetic dental care that you were referred to by a prior person.

"When it concerns the difference in the price of veneers in between one area and one more, it really returns to an expense of living point, in enhancement to overhead expenses," Dr. Goodman discussed. "Undoubtedly, the expense of property in Los Angeles and also New York City City is much various than in the Midwest."

The oral veneer procedure can frequently be completed in two gos to during six weeks. Impartial Record Exposes The Unanswered Questions on clip in veneers are comprehensive and also may need a number of hrs of evaluation and also tooth prep work. Dental offices normally flaunt services that could consist of sedation dentistry and audio/visual distractions, as well as dental medical spas also provide massage therapies and also other services in order to help you kick back and also stay comfy.

I'm arranged to obtain 10 top teeth veneers. I selected dr Thompson to do it as a result of the fantastic prior to and also after photos. If she could deal with the teeth that I saw on her site after that I believe she will make mine excellent. I will certainly be taking about a 5 hour flight to see her. I do have a 11 years of age 3 tooth ... READ EVEN MORE

Veneers Cost Ireland

Veneers are durable and have been shown to last for several years prior to calling for substitute. Seeing your dental expert and hygienist for routine evaluations as well as dental cleanings is necessary for preserving the health of your mouth as well as durability of your reconstructions.

Provisional veneers also help me to earn certain that long-term veneers will certainly not conflict with speech, and you should ask concerns to be particular that your dental professional is considering this when making your therapy. When a client tries out their provisionary veneers, I always do speech testings. If the client can't say "f" and also "s," those veneers are not in the appropriate area. Maintain in mind that when it involves your teeth, type adheres to feature. If your dental expert requires time to give veneers that really feel comfortable as well as allow you to talk and also chew normally, they will probably look good, also.

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Veneers Expense In India

Aftercare is incredibly essential. Chipped or fractured porcelain veneers could not be repaired, so your dental professional will certainly recommend you of the expenses as well as included time related to replacing a harmed remediation.

Veneers Price Insurance Policy

BEST CHOICE IVE EVER MADE. I've intended to obtain my teeth provided for years. I might never ever manage the costs below in the US or get approved for any type of funding or treatment credit scores. My only option was to pay in cash money upfront. I looked into for months as well as this was the only place out of the US that stood apart to me, ... READ EVEN MORE

Bring back the person's oral health in these situations may entail numerous therapy methods (such as handling the individual's periodontal condition as well as then replacing their veneers so their appearance is appropriate once again). All which include to the total cost of selecting veneer positioning in the first place.

I obtained my teeth done from Dr. Rimma, as well as it was the finest choice in my life. Currently i could smile without fear, due to the fact that i recognize it looks best. Prior to i was unsure if need to do it or not than i considered all the hollywood celebrities as well as after a couple of appointment i decided for dr. Rimma. Very delighted ... READ MORE

So I had the molding finished of my existing teeth (upper only). From the molding, my cosmetic dental practitioner had actually developed just what he could do for Veneers. He only altered/touched the front 4 teeth. Please see the photo and allow me understand your thoughts. I am still on the fence of doing this. I have no ... FIND OUT MORE

Make sure to ask concerning the dental expert's process of producing and positioning the veneers. A lack of communication between the dental expert and also the ceramists that produce the veneers is just one of the most common reasons some porcelain veneer therapies cannot provide rewarding results. My personal method is to determine what the outcomes should resemble, and also job backwards from there. To puts it simply, I will take time to create a wax-up and also give provisional veneers that people could use for numerous weeks. This provides clients an intimate understanding of exactly how their enhanced smile will certainly look. It likewise offers the person a chance to earn certain that their veneers will feel comfortable. I urge patients to provide me in-depth comments relating to the appearance of their veneers and also their result - if any type of - on just how their teeth meet when they bite down. Sometimes, veneers could in fact enhance the balance of your bite. When I have actually made the adjustments essential to accomplish convenience as well as the wanted look, we make use of the provisional veneers as the theme. Then, the person, the ceramist, as well as I have a clear assumption of just what the outcomes must look like.

There are several prominent aspects that add to the cost of porcelain veneers that will certainly be discussed with you by Dr. Yeung (Cambridge Ontario Dental professional) in establishing the complete expense of your needed therapy. Listed below we have noted several of the aspects that will certainly be dealt with in such a conversation:

This is a testimonial for the outstanding job from Dr. Tabib and also Dr. Melo at New York City smile design. However initially I desire to chat a little bit regarding my journey. I used to dislike to smile. My teeth were short, coming to be worn with age, and also had spaces. Yet the extra I considered my smile in the mirror the a lot more I really felt that ... FIND OUT MORE

I 'd been contemplating obtaining veneers for some time now, but was irritated at how little details most methods agreed to share before an appointment-- not all which were free. So I did my homework, as well as scheduled consultations at three various, well-rated techniques. The f. FOUND OUT MORE

Exactly what do porcelain veneers cost? We can not offer you a price quote on the rate since each collection of veneers is especially created for that specific person. Throughout your consultation visit, the dental expert will discuss your visions, review your mouth, and develop a full plan for updating your smile. Back then, we will certainly examine expenses as well as settlement options.

Your dental professional must additionally agree to invest plenty of time answering your questions. I typically invest at the very least 90 mins with my people during examinations to respond to inquiries, undergo previously and also after images, and also primarily obtain an understanding of their requirements as well as goals. Your dental practitioner should additionally make sure that you are not experiencing any type of health and wellness issues that should be attended to before moving onward with an aesthetic therapy.

Veneers Price Montreal

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Veneers Price For Front Teeth

There are numerous steps in the procedure. First, your dental expert will likely carry out an anesthetic so you will certainly fit throughout tooth prep work as well as positioning of the veneer. What You Do not Find Out About clip in veneers -natural tooth is after that prepared by minimally improving it with a tiny handheld rotational reducing device called a bur to offer the most effective fit. Burs come in various shapes and dimensions as well as enable specific as well as very little shaping of a tooth prior to placement.

Veneers Price Complete Set

But given that the typical purpose for placing them is just aesthetic, you must consider the above expected and also possible expenses and also weigh them. You must likewise make the effort to evaluate alternative procedures that may be able to produce a comparable, yet much less pricey, finish outcome.

At Emerald Dental Treatment in Thornhill, we will not promise you the most economical veneers however rather, one of the most reasonably valued ones. Our elite group of oral treatment professionals will certainly go with you every step of the way. Emerald green Dental treatment dental professionals will certainly initially encourage therapy alternatives for your case throughout a free examination and also aid you throughout and also after the procedure of installing your veneer. We also use after-care assistance to offer you just what you are entitled to for the porcelain veneers cost we quote.

My original veneers were placed on in 1989. I had them on the front 6 teeth. 3 Tips For clip in veneers Today You Need To Use stood up quite well, but my periodontals were receding a bit and my front one was misaligned (never ever observed till lately). My family dentist stated he could do them at a portion of the price of an aesthetic dental practitioner so I agreed. ... LEARN MORE

To prepare your teeth, the dental expert will certainly initially eliminate concerning half a millimeter of the natural enamel, which permits the density of the veneer. Next, the medical professional will take a mold of the teeth. These designs are sent out to a laboratory where a competent professional will make your customized veneers. Lastly, your dentist will permanently bond the veneers to the all-natural teeth.

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enzaime-blog · 7 years ago

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After Learning Flu-Like Symptoms Were Actually Thyroid Cancer, Mother Shares Advice to Help Save Others

New Story has been published on https://enzaime.com/learning-flu-like-symptoms-actually-thyroid-cancer-mother-shares-advice-help-save-others/

After Learning Flu-Like Symptoms Were Actually Thyroid Cancer, Mother Shares Advice to Help Save Others

It was 2012, and Beth Spreitzer was busy with life. Mothering her fourth-grade daughter and taking care of a household left no time to get sick. However, after experiencing what she thought were too many common symptoms – fatigue, chills, fever – and not improving, Beth thought something else must be wrong.

“In the past, the most I’d ever have to fight off was a cold. I attributed my recent symptoms to being busy and getting older,” Beth says.

During a routine visit, her gynecologist noticed her thyroid was inflamed and tender to the touch. This butterfly-shaped gland rests in the bottom of the neck, around the windpipe. It has two side lobes that you can’t feel when the thyroid is its normal size. The gland secretes hormones that regulate heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature and weight.

Her doctor asked if she’d been sick. Beth confirmed that yes, she suffered from a fever and chills a couple of weeks earlier and even had a cold sore, which for her was uncommon. But she admits she didn’t think much about the conversation afterward.

Soon though, Beth says she began fighting the urge to nap in the carpool line at school, and by early evening, looked forward to sleeping. She attributed the fatigue to having a full plate. Seeking a remedy, she visited another local physician, who diagnosed her with mononucleosis, a contagious and common virus.

But after a few weeks with no improvement, Beth was referred to an ear, nose and throat specialist. There, she was told that she had cancer – lymphoma – and that she “was going to die.” She left his office shaking, she says.

A family friend who worked in cancer research recommended Beth head to Mayo Clinic’s campus in Jacksonville, Florida.

“The second I walked through those doors, my life changed for the better,” she says.

Life-changing care

During her visit to Mayo Clinic, Beth met with several physicians, including hematologist Lawrence Solberg Jr., M.D., Ph.D.; John Casler, M.D., an ear, nose and throat specialist; and Victor Bernet, M.D., an endocrinologist. Dr. Bernet biopsied a lump in Beth’s thyroid as well as lymph node in her neck. Within hours, the team members gave Beth an accurate diagnosis – thyroid cancer.

Thyroid cancer is the most common type of endocrine cancer, and the American Cancer Society estimates that nearly 62,500 new cases will be diagnosed in 2016. The disease is three times more likely to occur in women than men. The risk peaks in women in their 40s and 50s, and men, in their 60s and 70s. Family history also increases the risk. The lifetime risk of developing thyroid cancer is 1.1 percent, according to the National Cancer Institute.

There are four types of thyroid cancer. The most common – papillary carcinoma, is treatable. Unfortunately, Beth was diagnosed with medullary thyroid carcinoma, which develops in the thyroid gland and is more aggressive. Only about 4 percent of all thyroid cancers are medullary, and it typically spreads to lymph nodes and other organs.

“Aggressive, spread, cancer … those words can be haunting,” Beth says. “But I learned from Dr. Bernet that our hope is try to treat it like a chronic disease.”

After hearing the diagnosis, Beth was ready to cancel her family’s summer trip but doctors encouraged her to carry on.

“Dr. Casler was comforting to not only me as the patient, but to my family as well. He assured all of us, every step of the way, that he would take the best possible care of me.” – Beth Spreitzer

“Dr. Casler strongly encouraged me to still go on vacation and have fun – we’d tackle this upon our return. And in the meantime, he would make all the necessary arrangements for me,” she says. “Dr. Casler was comforting to not only me as the patient, but to my family as well. He assured all of us, every step of the way, that he would take the best possible care of me.”

In the meantime Beth researched and read about her condition, becoming mentally prepared. “I really tried as hard as I could to follow his advice, to enjoy life and take my mind off of what was to come,” she says.

Soon after her return to Jacksonville, Beth underwent a full thyroidectomy and neck dissection. Dr. Casler removed 68 lymph nodes in and along her head, neck, collarbone, ear, carotid artery and vocal cords. Of those, 58 were cancerous.

During her five-day hospital stay, Beth remembers a follow-up visit from Dr. Solberg, who now is retired. “My dad passed away 10 years ago,” she says. “Having Dr. Solberg at my side was so comforting; it felt like my dad was right there.”

Following surgery, the team of doctors, which by then also included Michael Menefee, M.D., a hematologist/oncologist, and Steven Buskirk, M.D., a radiation oncologist, advised that due to the extensive lymph node involvement and cancer type, Beth should receive a daily dose of targeted external beam radiation to her head and neck for six weeks.

Beth recalls expressing her gratitude to Dr. Casler and the team.

“What do you say or do to someone who saves your life?” she says. “All he did was smile and tell me he’d love a Christmas card every year.”

A two-year reprieve

After therapy, Beth went back to her active lifestyle with periodic blood tests to check calcitonin and carcinoembryonic antigen levels, two proteins that are usually high in patients with medullary cancer.

About two years after surgery, Beth’s tumor markers began to rise.

“I was devastated,” says Beth. “I was offered a chemotherapy drug option targeted especially for medullary thyroid cancer, but there were so many side effects. I couldn’t believe it already was time for such an option. Not liking the chemo idea, I asked if there were any other options – something outside the box.”

Dr. Menefee shared details about a two-year immunotherapy clinical research trial being conducted by the National Institutes of Health. The clinical trial involved receiving an experimental vaccine every month for three months. Then, patients receive the vaccine every other week for the next three months, followed by monthly vaccines for the remaining year. The following year the vaccine is received quarterly.

“We are so fortunate to have exceptional and caring specialists on this cancer right in our backyard at Mayo Clinic. Without these physicians … I wouldn’t be here.” – Beth Spreitzer

Made with genetically modified baker’s yeast (Saccaromyces cerevisiae), the vaccine is designed to hone in on cells that produce the CEA protein that is indicative of medullary cancers. The goal would be to have Beth’s immune system respond and then make immune cells that would recognize and attack her tumor cells directly.

Advocating for others

Today, Beth takes her illness one day at a time and travels to National Institutes of Health in Maryland every few months for the vaccine trial. She is grateful for the team of physicians watching out for her Mayo Clinic.

“We are so fortunate to have exceptional and caring specialists on this cancer right in our backyard at Mayo Clinic,” Beth says. “Without these physicians at Mayo Clinic, I wouldn’t be able to swallow or speak. I wouldn’t be here.”

In retrospect, Beth walks through the chronology of some of her symptoms – fever, extreme fatigue, leg cramps, inflamed lymph nodes and tightening in her chest. Because they occurred over time, Beth’s thyroid cancer disguised itself as the common flu or a bad cold. Now living with stage IV metastasized medullary thyroid cancer, she explains she manages her health “like a business” and is more aware of her body than ever before.

“Listen to your body, and don’t take your symptoms for granted,” Beth advises. “Be your own advocate. Research and seek a second option if in doubt. These actions can save your life.”

And most importantly, she says, go to Mayo Clinic.

“Mayo Clinic is exceptional – from the gentleman who greets me at the front doors of the Mayo Building to all the medical staff,” she says. “Whether you have a life-threatening disease or are just seeking the best medical advice, you have to schedule a visit at Mayo. If you’re worried what your insurance will or won’t cover, just call them. You’re worth it.”

#cancer #Dr. John Casler #Dr. Michael Meneffee #Dr. Steven Buskirk #Dr. Victor Bernet #Mayo Clinic Cancer Center #thyroid cancer #Cancer

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gmwsusie071298-blog · 7 years ago

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Do not Fall For This educator Fraud.

Every little thing You Wanted to Know About educator and also Were Also Humiliated to Ask

Educators of younger grades wish to motivate and establish their pupils reading capabilities, the objective is to reveal that books are remarkable as well as they give greater than just words. They want to follow exactly how the singer sang them and they could require the voice instructor to reveal them ways to attain this. Fact: Living in a little city does NOT prevent you from obtaining guitar students ... if anything, it makes it much easier for you to come to be called the # 1 regional guitar teacher. From just what I heard from a buddy she's doing far better and also will certainly be back the very first week of following month. Put simply, when I began as an unique ed teacher my iep documents were 5 pages long, hand written. Expert teachers have found out that how they start the year off will certainly identify the success of their courses for the entire school year. New york city State expert growth programs consist of teacher mentorship programs as well as the NYS Instructor Resource and Computer Training Centers. Another source of summer works for instructors can often be found at employment colleges. I have been instructing for a couple of (7) years currently, and I find a major payment to instructor retentions is how well an individual can suit the environment that they have actually been employed into. In several areas, elementary school trainees stay in their house area with their main educator all day long, no matter what subject is being taught, to make sure that the transitions are much much less sudden. This requires readily offered resources such as instructor version books, computer, printer, net accessibility, and also ideally a recommendation library. Possibly you got a store card as well as located it too simple to invest in. Perhaps you had a credit card with a high APR however have gotten involved in the routine of just paying the minimal monthly repayments, implying you are constantly owing money and also paying great deals of passion. It's likewise terrific for you to make use of as the instructor throughout the year as you consult trainees during independent (or directed) reading. Some educators commemorate with verbal praise, some with composed acknowledgment, as well as some by posting trainees' works throughout the classroom. In order to keep your task and end up being a teacher with the best credentials you should acquire your masters. You are clearly a devoted teacher and care about the wellness of your students very much. My pupils maintain their checklists in their binders or folders that go home with them everyday. All through their educator training they were told just how hard classroom administration at the intermediate school level could be and also how essential it is to have efficient classroom management skills in order to be an effective educator. Though I'm not an educator any more, these are exactly the reasons I entered into it.:-RRB- Elected up. Ive always been a very huggy person and also id constantly hug my grade school instructors while in college. Only if the educator understands musical principles and has interests in different areas of music or perhaps has actually tried their hand at song-writing, they will have the ability to provide you an all-round education and learning.

These 5 Simple educator Tricks Will Pump Up Your Sales Almost Immediately

Therefore an important investment for any kind of college remains in instructor specialist development. Teachers should maintain the motivation for learning to life and also expanding in their pupils. Seriously, I was their good friend, papa, and sibling all rolled into one for 3 to 6 weeks all hrs of the night and day. Although it is guaranteeing to show novice students with flute lessons without any qualifications, the groove instructor task will certainly be steady and the income will certainly enhance sharply if the instructor has the qualifications required for this position. The educator has the objectives of the lesson in mind; students are thinking about each other, just how their hair looks, where they wish they were right currently, and so on Additionally if you can, spend a long time in the class with these teachers and also watch the method they communicate with their trainees as well as the way in which they accomplish their lessons. It was authorized into law on January 8, 2002 as well as reauthorized a number of government programs that intended to boost the performance of UNITED STATE key and secondary trainees and institutions by enhancing the standards of responsibility (greater standardized examination scores) for states, college areas and schools, along with providing moms and dads much more versatility in picking which specific schools their youngsters will participate in. Provide your best as well as you will ultimately be a far better instructor and also hence a far better individual. I have a buddy that is a somewhat extreme Zen reflection teacher named John Tarrant. My mommy is an instructor for Thirty Years now, had actually been elected as the most effective educator in 2015, given that all the youngsters love her.

An Overview of educator At Any type of Age

A yoga exercise educator accreditation assists the instructor discover several points and enhances their existing expertise on the subject. This perspective of a teacher is seen by the kids and they do not like her for it, and they additionally really feel that she is not really truthful in her negotiations with them. In your instance, a. monetary mistake is either on your debt report or kept in your garage or a scrap area in your residence. Recognizing just what instructors are received and what they are positive in mentor will certainly go a long way to enhance pupil success. Whether you have any type of enthusiasm for teaching or other facet of education and learning, gel titan you will certainly not delight in involving work every day if you do not love kids. In training reading especially, it is essential for an educator to be able to recognize what a student is struggling with and ways to help the pupil boost.

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hugginq-hemmings-blog · 8 years ago

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Unturned Cheat

Computer system is loaded with dayz and minecraft clones. If you didn't have the persistence for dayz's drip-provide for of benefits, this will likely look, however it does make stumbling spanning a rifle atmosphere reduced exceptional. Quite a few computers certainly exist-you will discover an inventory now -while there is no in-ammo membership web browser before. |Unturned Premium Free has variety of actual techniques of their own, but is really a clear-cut, accessible surviving sim. B) no it's not "shell out to obtain" as golden buyers their own personal computers to try out on. Generally ive obtained a fun time with the aid of it, originally 60 minutes was only solo player, then ended up being furnished with several pals therefore we established an enjoyable 50 web server and used an alternate 5 accomplishing that. stuffs that will allow holding, utilisation of these web server subscriber list as well as other great important features. Unturned Premium Free continues to be obtained 24 mil functions, so that it is the 3rd-most-managed ammo membership on steam. suggests sexton. “i bear in mind finally i originated real estate from soccer method and that i presumed about placing an accessory set-up, helping you to give you a proper grip into a rifle or possibly a silencer or stuff like that,” suggests sexton. |attachments, by your finished look of the nighttime that adaptation was holding around.in . in hearthstone the location pleaded for 2 a long time beforehand blizzard ultimately acquiesced and offered them using of different outdoor patio slot machines. see.’” suggests sexton. “it's perfect to have a very maker that's so close to to his regional community, and also that i believe that a number of sizable companies that appear like they ought to understand what they're accomplishing, could educate yourself a great deal from nelson the way to manage a regional community as well as he is accomplishing,in . he suggests. You will get a sensing he conveys exactly the same eye-sight as his regional community. There aren't any microtransactions or thresholds, plus the only monetization is definitely a model-time $5 enhancement which offers you utilize of exceptional computers, completely unique clothing, and golden-coated weaponry. Also, he mentions that there has been purports to adopt Unturned Premium Free away his hands and fingers for good. loads of steam success tales. |There’s not anything lost in interpretation. Then this corporation can speak with online players in a variety of creates, but is in fact in addition damaging for Nelson sexton resides in calgary along with Sexton started out getting Unturned Premium Free as he was 16, so through out its advancement he’s been in institution, not very he genuinely informed anyone there. The maps are really straight forward, sprinkled with primarily untextured trees and design in chief hues. It’s according to model-away settlement of £3.99, which will receive a golden bill: golden clothing, exceptional computers, excess changes as well as other ephemera. In the market to return, this just is found any such foolish step to detailed. I actually wanted to hear it with my “it was like newbie moves into unity, and also that i just now suspected i potentially could construct a version of deadzone in unity, unfortunately i had no clue of these goods i was accomplishing. this first adaptation embraced deadzone’s trouble that will be very hard to bring a little something totally new, so he started out preparing a next adaptation of the calendar month of january 2014, which ditched the web browser, and released it on steam in this type of summer season 2014, used by adaptation 3, the present model, a variety of few weeks subsequent. |I do not know.” he laughs. “there are these maps which are likely a lot better than my go into default maps, and plenty of buyers appear to consent,” he suggests, happily. “pvping often is the predominant singing organization. the whole set of zombies, spawn every person with pistols, and you may find out mods that give a foreign currency to invest in weaponry. To be certain, it became an exceptional see. I’m just dipping my toes into ammo membership advancement now, which would have been a especially pushing see. In fact? Nelson is comparable to degree he achieved ammo membership and relesed as soon as possible a lot like degree with minecraft. Now, making it through several free of cost-to-carry out dayz days and nights and minecraft evenings in Unturned Premium Free. |It comes with a minecraft check as well as a dayz atmosphere, before contrasting perhaps of folks ammo memberships, its zombies really are a bona fide danger. Starting up the game nude, unfortunately, helps to ensure that you merely have various slot machines to keep every thing loot. However, it’s time for it to start off it. A seafood tank left around the The finished world looks almost like i’ve performed a little something unforgivable at the baseball catcher’s convention. Props for that! Does a person not mean… propz for that? “starting the game nude, unfortunately, helps to ensure that you merely have various slot machines to keep every thing loot.” i actually do not wanna know. Look week-z, with anomalies fairly of zombies and artifact-trying to get fairly of surviving-obtaining and faction mess up fairly of n00b griefing. I regularly find out ammo memberships such as these seem like you're shopping around at code moving. |Completed mtss is a little right now plus it seriously jogs my reminiscence on this zombie apocalypse roguelike cataclysm. And also rucksack. Under no circumstances get rid of lighthouse consumer, or permit me to figure out obama. The correctly-up provide power to pluses it will certainly make available - “boosted loot drops” and Does which means it’s suitable? No. Lessen. Even though you *100 %* dislike the “minecraft look”… personally, i don't plan to disrupt it to ya, but this isn't it. Is realistic it may well save examples of the visible method of its supplier. And i’ve used the last 2 days and nights taking part in for 10 hrs, and it is a whole blast. Amazing ammo membership influenced on minecraft and dayz. |‘kids would be the toughest critics’ I'm in a position to 100 % realize why a rebellious boy or girl would sneakily download and carry out Unturned Premium Free, particularly if their mom and dad are reduced curious about ammo memberships where you may make heads develop into puddles of crimson sauce. A truly oblivion with pistols predicament. By utter luck i could get through the blast, so at gunpoint we must engage the kid’s following whim: climb a hill. You actually can murder the total web server population of the standpoint of these heli. I suspect Unturned Premium Free is previously aiming to atmosphere ‘complete’, regardless if it previously does exit earlier connect to. Oh yeah, for a lifetime? Even warcraft/starcrarft are merely shamelessly taken ammo memberships workshop ips, in fact. What goes on when the amount of week z procreates with minecraft, to tell the truth, in addition to more and more zombies, you get a touch attractive ammo membership typically called Unturned Premium Free. |Positioning of the ammo membership it's really a surviving ammo membership transpire a share-apocalypse scene, precisely where a lot of the folks are switched into flesh starving zombies. Spots holding within the sports activity is positioned within a scene typically called pei - prince edward tropical island. An awesome ammo membership and it is liberated to experience have Why you do not share enhance mar 14 farmville is great, a lot of folks say that's a rip-from dayz and minecraft, but no, it's like stating, there's a mag enjoying a pink handle, there's other and it is a rip-away, dayz is focused more and more in real terror and it is more and more reasonable, Unturned Premium Free integrates excitement and realism terror, probably the most humorous items tends to be that And a pair of. Fall over 2015 now my nephew obtained prison designer, kerbal room or space routine, and Unturned Premium Free in my small but effective bill, and also that he put into use his some money to generate kerbal room or space routine and prison archietect. Nonetheless we've less healthy aspect... Unturned Premium Free is definitely a share-apocalyptic surviving ammo membership manufactured by nelson sexton-the actual maker, owner, and founding daddy of smartly fitted ammo memberships. |Stuck on prince edward tropical island (pei), online players can select to live longer than in isolation or join a web server and stop zombies altogether. An uncomplicated artwork trend face masks the unforgivable structure of these zombie-infested scene where the undead would be the only foreseeable part. Then, you’re away and off to the canadian tropical island pei. Hopping indoor and outside real estate windows, i managed to have the tool i'd use to send the undead to dying-a golf club metal. It will make your existence worth more and more and offers just one more must get around dying. In addition to design, online players can construct traps for There are times starting communication is Devices provide suppressors, grips, lasers, scopes, and things. |He was without delay obliterated. requiring you to spend the money for 5 $ $ $ $ doesn't similar a shell out-to-obtain methodology, because of the pluses are isolated.

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