#especially not shitter
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
hihi guys just wanna ramble for a bit
So heres a preview for some art im making atm
(can you guess who the fellas are from just this snippet?!)
Anyway i was thinking of also posting on other platforms to grow my art, but twitter is a shithole atm and instagram has problems with ai art, so i guess the only real option i have is pinterest (and im still a minor so no cara :< ) anyway i could probably find more sites but im lazy
Hope u guys are enjoying the splatoon art because i cant stop the hyperfixation lol ^^''
#pepperchan#pepperchanart#idk what to do#if anyone sees this#reccomendations are nice#<3#art#ramble#wip#preview#im obsessed with splatoon atm haha#i would mainly use tumblr tho because i dont really want to make other accounts#especially not shitter#has anyone seen these tags?#if you have i love you#splatoon
1 note
·
View note
Text
x
#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw some art of Zenos punching the fuck out of someone (assuming the WoL) til his fist is bloodied and grinning while he yells "SAY IT! SAY 'I LOVE YOU' BACK!" and am so fucking abnormal as I imagine Arkhe doing that to someone too....... Even more abnormal imagining him doing it to Zenos himself............
#ask to tag#he and Arkhe are the same in like 99% of ways Arkhe would be your worst nightmare if you want him at his most toxic#it's just that he knows how to be good to his romantic targets of affection unlike his fellow brick shitter#if you WANT him to be like that though.....he can do more than live up to your expectations#because good fucking god I wanna see him beat someone shitless with a crazed look in his eyes like a predator that's caught his prey#and he and Zenos are perfect for each other in that regard they'd both do this to each other so often#especially since Arkhe never gives Zenos what he wants in verbal affirmation traps and he can't be swayed by words#FUUUUUUUCK DUDE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK EXPLODES
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
So when Medic dies in The Naked and The Dead, he explains to the devil that after giving up his own soul, he stole 8 more. I think it's pretty clear that those souls are from the Mercs. So, in order to get the pen and go back to living, he gives up a second soul. I think that soul might have belonged to Scout.
So Scout, Sniper, and Medic are shown dead. They died. When Sniper comes back, it's from Medics intervention. He actively worked on saving his life. But he wasn't with Scout. I don't think he was aware in the slightest that he had died. And from how it's switches back and forth between perspectives, I'd like to think that Scout had kicked the bucket a little bit after Medic, which would've given him time to trade souls with the devil.
This would explain why God would've sent him back, because he doesn't actually have custody of his soul. The devil does. Because Medic gave him Scouts soul.
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#im at work on the shitter right now dont ask why i started thinking about this#if youd like to add your 2 cents please do i want a discussion#especially since i dont think this has been talked about yet
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love you drinking water I love you cold showers I love you sleep I love you fun dance exercises I love you taking time to make meals I love you skincare I love you morning stretches I love you talking to friends I love you endorphins
#maria talks about things#romanticizing your life is good sometimes actually#mental health#sorry for this sorta random rant#I especially love making little meals#like- taking time out of your day to prep a little snack even if it’s something ‘easy’ is so great#I just spend way too much time than necessary looking through all our spices when making scrambled eggs#it’s a lot of fun#(I also end up putting an ungodly amount of garlic powder in them)#This is honestly more manifestation than anything#like- have I had a shitty few months? yeah. Would they be shitter without my little day to day self care things? also yes
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
irl-related vitriol in tags, beware
#i have literally put up with so much cg bullshit in the last few months#god forbid i a vet and senior member get any respect#the captains are awful just awful really terrible#SO CONDESCENDING#legit unless i specifically am doing something deeply wrong then keep out of my fucking business#equipment manager making everyone sit down to learn how to tape a fucking flag#HELLO? BITCH YOUR FLAG IS CLANKY AND THE EXAMPLE YOU’RE USING HAS A GAP BETWEEN SILK AND POLE#fucking hell i’m actually about to ally with the pariah of the team and her new frosh friend#my reputation will go down the shitter but i’ll never lie to a newbie again#this sport is such a joke bc why do we even pretend that this team is a family#like hey coach. it’s not like i’m a subordinate to you or the captains or anything. but yeah you’re like my aunt omg 🥺#fucking get real#cg has ruined my life and it’s degenerated especially this year#i’m not getting enough sleep and i’m swearing too much and i get antsy and literally bite myself#the newbies are such dopes i feel bad for even trying to instill rules in them bc i’m no different from the bitch captains#always snapping snapping snapping at us for not being EARLY to the call time TWENTY FIVE MINUTES EARLIER than the band’s#i don’t even have a friend anymore she’s just My Captain who i have to Obey and Respect#anyway fuck co-captain specifically#whatever. i have work tomorrow#i should just sleep and die and defame the team to everyone who lends me an ear#god i hope my coach explodes the next time she sits us down for a twenty minute spiel about ‘expectations’#bc expect me to quit or be outwardly miserable all year long <333#tw rant#tw vent
1 note
·
View note
Text
lilshit and broken paw girl got spay/neutered yesterday! broken paw girl is still at the rescue and i feel so bad for her because apparently she's sad she's not home :( lilshit is home and doing fine though!
#nonsense radio#mom took them to the rescue without warning me bc she had two appointments for some ferals (outdoor) but couldn't catch them#so i just woke up and they were gone and i was so sad#mom is planning to bring broken paw girl back tomorrow but with her being at the rescue#i'm really paranoid about her catching something and bringing it home#fostering is really not good for me with my attachment issues o(-< and especially lately with everything that's been going on#my mental health is in the shitter and i can't function bc my brain wants to do escapism when i have to Do Stuff#so it makes everything take so much longer which in turn leaves me no time to actually properly rest and recover
0 notes
Text
im just. scared. im gonna. disappear for awhile im too freaked out and scared and alone i just need to disappear im so tired of this and tired of bothering other people with myself
#mental illness is making me wnna die constantly but now that i have actual medical issues im scared shitless of dying#especially if stuff is autoimmune or lupus related im just. even if they kjnow what it is#theres no cure and my quality of life is just gonna be in the shitter forever
0 notes
Text
Rotten Milk, a wolchefant fic
#cadaverous creations#lovette vairemont#lovechefant#wolchefant#angst#hurt/comfort#hi I’m still around just inactive as all shit#gonna attempt to post more especially if the shit hellsite that muskrat runs really goes to the shitter
0 notes
Text
how does one gain the ability to scream
#the adas speak#i just need to scream. to release my anger#literally just one or two screams a couple weeks. but you can't fuckign. do that.#in my house there are shitters. in a dorm the walls are thin. in an apartment the walls are thin. you can't scream outside#especially as a black schizophrenic person#like. what if I just need to scream. for my health. what then.#if i don't get a scream in i *will* scream at an actual person. there's no avoiding that. we gotta figure this out
1 note
·
View note
Text
the graphic design for librarians class i'm taking right now is, bar none, the most disappointing class i've ever taken. the instructor is completely incompetent at graphic design. i just finished the abjectly terrible, course-required $80 book she wrote and i want to walk into a lake. i am mentally shredding every ugly poster the instructor has ever made like a furious rottweiler but it's not enough. i am trapped in this class for the next 6 weeks or i've thrown away $750.....
#that 'most disappointing' class has a damn high bar - i've been in some Shitters over the course of my BA and previous MA#but this takes the cake by miles#i'm so fucking mad ! especially because i was STUPID HYPED for this class#i'm going to start preparing the most blistering instructor evaluation ever composed right now to put that Rage Energy somewhere asap#auauauuauaugggggHHHHH#my posts
1 note
·
View note
Text
There's a winner for the poll, but I got ideas for all of them, so I'm gonna doodle them all anyway lol
I'll just do Manic, Olivia, and Leon first. Then I'll do Nene and Cass/Damien
#Punk Posts#yes Cass/Damien#I have an idea where they're the same essentially but they're able to completely change their form depending on who's in charge#Nene is an animal lover. especially the floofy ones#Olivia is the daydreamer who doesn't talk much.. or at all. also she has a tiny Punk Barry with her#Leon and Manic are just gonna be designs. lil shitters
1 note
·
View note
Text
.
#really upset and taken back by that article#hoping that it’s just worded and formatted really badly#Christ how many sources are cited here? it’s really inconsistent and all over the place?#Don’t really know how to express how I feel about it#I’ve been in the fandom for 15-ish years and her song writing is a special interest of mine#can my autism chose a normal special interest please??!!???#I’ve listened to her everyday for 15 years#especially when my mental state is in the shitter like it is right now#but it feels wrong to listen to her currently#I’m thinking about starting another blog about other artists I like and taking a tiny step back from this one for a bit#venting here becsue I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about it? just feels like a slap in the face#it’s a slap in the face specifically to BIPOC Swifties#they have my whole heart and don’t deserve any of this
1 note
·
View note
Text
FUCK YOU, FUCK ME!
pairing: toji fushiguro x gn!reader (no anatomy described)
cw: pegging toji !!!! reader uses a strap, toji is hesitant but goes along with it and ends up LOVING it. anal (m!receiving), missionary and doggy, minor orgasm control, etc. kind of glorified anal so keep that in mind. MINORS DONT INTERACT ILL BITE
notes: this is a sponsored fic for @ficsforgaza, and im so so excited to finally be posting it!! (other wips available for sponsor here) go check out some other great creators on the blog too!! and this is my first time back writing in a bit so pls be kind :") divider by @/cafekitsune!
wc: 2.8k
“Toji, sweetheart, you need to relax.”
“Fuck- I’m fuckin’ trying,” your lover grunts, wincing and sucking in a sharp breath. “I’m not fuckin’ used to things inside’a me like you are.” You choose to ignore that last quip.
Only half a very well lubed finger deep into his tight ass, you figure this is going to be a long night, but you know it’ll be so, so, worth it - for both you and him.
The day you first proposed trying anal to Toji, he was all for it - excited even. Until he found out that you meant he’d be the one receiving, and his face immediately fell.
“No. Nope. Nothin’s goin’ up my shitter,” he had responded, making you roll your eyes and groan. You swore up and down that a prostate orgasm could be life changing for males, but he flat out refused for months. It wasn’t until your birthday when you promised him he didn’t have to buy you a gift if he agreed to try anal just once - and then he was all for it.
He was hesitant as the two of you scrolled through sex toy websites to search for the best possible strap and dildo for him. Pointing out ones you thought he might like only made his face contort in discomfort, haunted by the thought of something going inside his asshole. The list of “hard no’s” grew and grew the longer you searched: nothing longer than 6 inches, nothing girthier than a circumference of 5 inches, no skin colors because that felt too real, and no balls. Toji Fushiguro was a hard man to please.
Finally, finally, after months of convincing, hours of online shopping, and a few more days following the arrival of the package, did you have your lover laid out in front of you, legs spread and hole awaiting. It was the sweetest fucking sight in the world, and you were so grateful you maintained enough patience to get to this moment. Good things really do come to those who wait.
The harness was already strapped around your waist, painfully eager to attach the dildo and get to it, but of course there was ample prep required, especially for someone completely new to anal. Per your request, he had showered prior to you getting home from work and had tried to clean himself out a little bit, which you were very grateful for. Now you were tasked with stretching and prepping his hole. Your mouth watered at the thought of it.
Instructing him to lay on his back, for no other reason than you wanted to see his face, you press his thick, sinewy thighs apart and settle between them. You had done your best to create a gentle, relaxing environment in your shared bedroom, with the lights dimmed low, a few candles flickering on the shelf, and soft music playing from the TV. Yet still, the man was as tense as a clenched fist.
The goal was to get him a little worked up and wanting it, so you start with a little foreplay. Kissing him softly, you jerk him off slowly, getting him hard enough that he wants to cum. His hard cock lays neglected on his belly as he rests on his back, propped up against a horde of pillows, and you could honestly cum just at the sight of him. Toji is fucking beautiful.
But now it was finally time. After dousing your fingers in a thick, goopy layer of lube, you press the tip of your ring finger against his puckered hole, and he immediately flinches.
“Baby, I promise I won’t make this hurt, you have to breathe, though,” you plead, using your other hand to massage his thigh. “Here - take a deep breath with me.”
Motioning for him to follow, you suck in air, watching him closely. After rolling his eyes and deciding he’ll finally play along, he mimics you. The second he releases the breath he was holding, his body deflating, you take the chance and slip in your finger down to just the first knuckle.
He immediately gasps, furrowing his brows and grunting. “Hey! You fuckin’ tricked me!” he accuses, indignant as a little kid.
You chuckle in response. “It got it in, didn’t it?”
You stay like that for a bit, wriggling the tip of your finger purely just to start getting him used to the feeling of something inside him, watching his expressions closely.
“Does it feel good at all, babe?”
It takes Toji a moment to respond, clearly chewing on the idea in his brain. “It… it’s weird,” he finally says, pursing his lips. “It just feels strange - not… bad, though. Yet.”
“Good,” you nod. “Good. Just hang in there, and you’ll feel good soon, okay? Promise.”
He just grumbles before gripping his cock, fisting it a few times before you smack his hand away.
“Hey!” he gasps, jaw wide open. “It’s my dick!”
“No. I said no touching yourself yet,” you bite back. When he looks like he’s about to pitch a fit, you decide to throw in a “please, baby? For me?” and he backs down. Toji is nothing if not a sucker for you.
After warning him, you push your finger in to the second knuckle. He sucks in a sharp breath, but makes no protest - a good sign. Soon, you have your whole finger inside him, and he’s panting a bit.
“See, baby? I knew you could take it,” you smile softly.
“Whatever,” Toji grumbles, avoiding your gaze. He can deny it all he wants, but he can’t hide the fact that his dick twitched every time you pushed your finger in a little further. “Let’s hurry this up and get it over with.”
Your eyes go wide at that, but you nod. “Your wish is my command, sir,” you smirk.
And just like that, your whole pointer finger has bullied its way inside him.
“Fuck!” Toji coughs, lurching forward. “You can’t do that!”
“Oh, but I can,” you grin impishly. “Just lay back and let me work you open, okay?”
Now that you have two fingers inside him, you can actually make some headway. Squirting some more lube around his entrance, you start to very slowly fuck him with your fingers, pumping them in and out at a snail’s pace. Toji stays silent, still refusing to meet your gaze, but his cheeks are cherry red and he’s gripping the sheets with a tight fist.
The quiet music coming from the TV hums softly in the background, and you hope it’s relaxing him at least a little as you slowly spread your fingers apart, trying to scissor them open to loosen the muscles and stretch him out. Toji’s breath hitches when you spread them even past when his hole starts to resist, and you smirk. You guess he likes the feeling of being full just as much as you do.
Time passes painfully slowly while you work him open with your fingers, aching to finally get inside him. To finally fuck Toji in the way he deserves. Finally, you feel like he’s prepped enough to adequately take the strap. It might hurt a tiny bit, but what’s the harm in that?
“Okay, sweetheart,” you start as you fit the jet black dildo into the O-ring connected to the strap. “You okay on your back like this, or do you wanna take it from the back?”
His face burns bright red at the thought of you fucking him in doggy, so he just shakes his head. “ ‘m fine like this,” he mumbles, and you nod.
Once again settling between his thighs, you wrap a hand around his cock and pump it lazily, offering him a small smile.
“You look so pretty laid out like this for me, legs spread and ass spread so wide, ready to take my cock,” you muse, mind in overdrive.
“S-st-stop,” Toji squeaks out, biting his fist. He won’t admit it, he can’t admit it, he’ll die before admitting how much that turns him on. He can’t admit how his ass has started to ache for something to fill it back up again, even though you’re more than willing to oblige.
“Can’t, baby boy,” you frown, leaning in for a kiss. “Not when I finally have you like this.”
The brief kisses seem to relax the tense man just a bit, melting against your lips and kissing back hungrily. You could’ve sworn you caught a just fuck me already under his breath, but he’ll refuse it until his deathbed.
When you make eye contact with him and he nods, you press the well-lubed tip of the strap against his hole, watching with stars in your eyes as it resists, but still tries to spread open. A cough can be heard from near the headboard, but no protests so far. Soft whines fight to escape Toji’s throat as you push in each centimeter of the silicone cock, face burning hot and red. About halfway in, you pause, giving the man a moment to breathe and acclimatize to the intrusion inside him. He’s grateful for it too, huffing and groaning and squirming as he tries to find a more comfortable position, but there is none. Not when there’s something hard shoved up his ass. You just stay as patient as a saint, massaging his muscly thighs and running your hands up his torso, trying your best not to lean too far forward and inch any more of the cock inside him. As a treat, you give his throbbing, aching cock a few tugs with your spit coated palm, and he lets out a sigh.
One more moment of eye contact, and more nod, and you push your hips a little farther forward. Suddenly, Toji lurches forward again.
“Gah!!” he cries out, eyes wide and heaving. “What- what was that? What did you do?” The accusatory questions only make you laugh, leaning in to kiss him sweetly.
“Must be your sweet spot - your prostate,” you chuckle. “Here - let’s try again.”
Pulling out a few inches and thrusting in again has Toji sputtering and groaning all over again. You can’t help but break out into a wild smirk. This is exactly what you wanted. Not only for yourself, as a perfect view to marvel at and take in, but for him - Toji deserves this, deserves to feel good.
Leaning forward, hands braced on either side of his chest, you muster up all your strength and thrust hard. This time his head is falling back against the pillow as he cries out with a call of your name, too.
“It’s all the way inside, sweetheart,” you smile, marveling at how the silicone balls are pressed firm against his ass. “How do you feel?”
“G-good,” he nods, gulping. “Just- let’s just do this- please,” Toji chokes out.
This version of Toji, one so vulnerable and desperate, is one you’ve never seen before. Not even when he’s fucking you - he’ll get desperate to get his dick wet, sure, but this is… different. Sweeter. His dark, unruly hair is matted to his forehead with sweat, and his chest is heaving in anticipation. You simply have no choice than to give him exactly what he wants.
Inching your strap out to where the tip is almost dangling out of his hole, you thrust all the way back in, relishing in the way he once again moans. His reaction is so much sweeter than you could’ve imagined, and you simply can’t help the way you go fucking crazy. Your thrusts pick up speed, anchoring yourself by gripping the sheets hard as you erratically fuck your lover’s ass. The both of you are complete messes, groaning and whining and gasping almost theatrically, chasing a beautiful high.
“Harder,” Toji grunts, pulling you in by your cheeks for a messy kiss as his thick legs circle your waist. “Fuck! Fe-feels so fucking good, fuck, fuck fuck…” he blabbers, your face still in his tight grip. You couldn’t give less of a shit, just want to see him falling apart even more, so you give him exactly what he asks for.
Wet sounds of lube and skin on skin echo throughout the bedroom, mixed with the tunes of both your moaning and groaning. An ache is blossoming in your thigh muscles and you can feel yourself losing stamina but you refuse to give in just yet, using every ounce of your strength to piston your hips in and out of him. Toji can’t help but clench tight around your cock, you can feel it by the increased resistance, and you truly think you must have died and gone to heaven.
“Toji, sweetheart,” you call, trying to grab the man’s attention. “Get on your hands and knees for me, okay?”
For the first time likely ever, the man does as he’s asked with no protest. He hisses a bit as you slip all the way out of his tight heat, but scrambles to flip over and present his ass for you. There’s no way this is your Toji, not when he’s acting like this - but you decide you’ll allow yourself to indulge in this doppelganger, just for tonight.
Some adjustments to his stance are required, as he is taller than you, but you soon find a comfortable position so that your hips can be flush against his ass. His throbbing cock and balls hang heavy at this angle, dangling between his thighs, but he doesn’t seem to mind. At this angle, you have a much better view of his beautiful ass, using two hands to spread his cheeks apart and stare with a slack jaw at his abused hole, puffy and throbbing. It’s mind boggling that you were inside him. And will be again. With one languid thrust, you’re bottoming out again and pressing his face into the pillow, making him cry out.
This angle, while depriving you of your lover’s beautiful face, is much easier for your task. Having his ass presented for you like this makes fucking him a breeze - so you take, and take, and take, and take. Pump in and out of his tight, wet hole, both of your bodies trembling as you’re overcome with so much emotion and overstimulation. You feel like a bitch in heat with the way you’re rutting into him, bottoming out with almost every thrust.
“Fuck,” Toji spits. “I’m gonna fucking cum.”
Your eyes go wide at the realization. He’s going to cum? Just from getting fucked? Holy shit.
“Yeah, baby? Wanna cum? Feels so good getting fucked, huh?” you tease, continuing to fuck him hard and deep. “Want me to help you out, or so how long it takes for you to cum just from getting your ass fucked? Hm?” Your own words are lost on you, seemingly coming from a place of pure lust and not from your rational mind.
“Please help,” Toji chokes out. And he’s been so good, not touching his cock this entire time, taking your cock so well, that you decide to do as he asks.
Your pace slows down some as you wrap a hand around his aching, angry red cock, thumbing at the tip and using his tacky precum to lube up your hand some. It only takes one, two, three strokes before he’s gasping and spurting thick, hot ropes of cum onto the bed, whole body tensing as he cries out louder than you’ve ever heard before. He collapses onto the bed, and you take the message, pulling your strap out from his abused hole. No words come from his mouth, only heaves and gasps for air as he tries to come to terms with what just occurred. You don’t nag him at all, just flop down next to him and push his sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes.
“Did that feel good, baby? Hm?” you ask, smiling softly at him. That’s truly all you ever wanted. You truly couldn’t give much of a shit about your own desires and lust - all you ever, ever wanted in this world was for your lover to feel good.
Toji gulps. “....Yeah. Felt real good.” It’s obvious he’s exhausted, only moments from passing out. You can’t blame him.
“Did so, so good for me, sweetheart,” you coo, leaning in to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Now get some rest. It’s hard getting fucked, isn’t it?” That makes him chuckle weakly.
“Fuck you,” he rasps, but he has a lopsided smile on his face. “Love you. Really. Thank you.”
Your heart soars and you smile widely. “Of course, sweetheart. Always. I love you. Now please get some rest so we can go for a second round.”
#toji x reader#toji smut#jjk smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x you#toji imagine#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#toji x y/n#jjk x y/n#jjk x gender neutral reader
522 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw brief mentions of pregnancy
hook-up culture was one of the only ways you could get your fix without commitment. it’s hard to maintain any real relationships now, especially as a full time student (and slut). but you’d always been careful, having taken contraceptives, keeping condoms on you, etc etc.
though, none of them are 100% full proof.
you stare at the pregnancy test, wide-eyed. someone bangs on the bathroom door of the gas station, urging you to hurry up. but you can’t, the implications of those two little lines keeping you stuck to the seat.
when you ask your friends, they dismiss you, saying “you’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out.” and when you call your parents..
you block out the interaction from your memory.
with no financial or emotional support, you are forced to scour the internet for a solution. an abortion is too expensive, and you can’t raise this thing when you’re about to enter your junior year of college.
all hope seems lost, till you find the shadiest ad on craigslist;
Looking for Baby to adopt. Surrogate or already pregnant. Will provide care for entire pregnancy.
it seems like a scam, even more so as you open it and skim through the benefits (a roof over your head, food and water, nearly $25k to start). everything about this seems too good to be true. after all, can you really trust something you saw on craigslist?
still, your eyes find a phone number and email address at the bottom of the ad, belonging to some guy named johnny mactavish. the foreign name throws you off even more, surely a name like that isn’t located in the united states of fuck all. though, it seems like you have no other solutions.
hesitantly, your mouse hovers over the ‘reply’ button, the clicking sound ringing in your ears, settling your fate.
——
johnny knew it was futile to post an ad looking for a surrogate on craigslist, but he didn’t see any other options (or rather, he ignores them). simon and him have been retired for some time now, settling in some small state. the woods offer some sort of privacy, a silence that comforts them rather than makes them shake in their sleep.
it seemed natural that having children would be the next step after living here for so long. johnny thanks tommy for finding a pretty bird and producing a nephew since it would’ve been harder to convince simon otherwise. the riley’s don’t seem like family men, yet simon is carving a little bear to send back to manchester, congratulating tommy on the announcement of his baby girl.
it makes johnny warm, but he can’t help but feel jealous. sure, simon is everything to him, his whole world, but it’s hard to procreate when all you got is a prick and shitter.
so he set up his little offer, though he might as well be suppressed with how nearly no one has reached out to him.
johnny’s about to take down the ad, ready to talk to simon about doing things a different way, when he suddenly gets a reply.
> this isn’t a joke, right?
johnny raises a brow at this, swiveling back to the computer and typing up his response.
< would nevr joke bout smth srs
and when five minutes passed, he presumed that would be the end of this little interaction, fueling johnny’s desire to take down the post.
that is, till he gets another response.
> well, is the position still open then?
he feels his heart stop, eyes widening as he reads the phrase over and over. a certain excitement wells in his chest, and he gets back on the keyboard before he can run out the room and tell simon the good news.
——
his last reply consists of a time, date, and address.
393 notes
·
View notes
Text
so part of me wants to blame this entirely on wbd, right? bloys said he was cool with the show getting shopped around, so assuming he was telling the truth (not that im abt to start blindly trusting anything a CEO says lol), that means it’s not an hbo problem. and we already know wbd has an awful track record with refusing to sell their properties—altho unlike coyote v acme, s3 of ofmd isn’t a completed work and therefore there isn’t the same tax writeoff incentive to bury the thing. i just can’t see any reason to hold on to ofmd except for worrying about image, bc it would be embarrassing if they let this show go with such a devoted fanbase and recognizable celebrities and it went somewhere else and did really well (which it would undoubtedly do really well, we’ve long since proven that). it feels kinda tinfoil hat of me to making assumptions abt what’s going on in wbd behind the scenes, but i also feel like there are hints that i’m onto something w my suspicions: suddenly cracking down on fan merch on etsy doesn’t seem like something a studio looking to sell their property would bother with, and we know someone was paying to track the viewing stats on ofmd’s bbc airing, which isn’t finished yet, so i’d expect whoever is monitoring that to not make a decision abt buying ofmd until the s2 finale dropped.
but also i think part of me just wants there to be a clear villain in the situation. it’s kinda comforting to have a face to blame, a clear target to shake my fist at. but the truth is that the entire streaming industry is in the shitter. streaming is not pulling in the kind of profit that investors were promised, and we’re seeing the bubble that was propped up w investor money finally start to pop. studios aren’t leaving much room in their budgets for acquiring new properties, and they’re whittling down what they already have. especially w the strikes last year, they’re all penny pinching like hell. and that’s much a much harder thing to rage against than just one studio or one CEO being shitty. that’s disheartening in a way that’s much bigger and more frightening than if there was just one guy to blame.
my guess is that the truth of the situation is probably somewhere in the middle. wbd is following the same shitty pattern they’ve been following since the merger, and it’s just a hard time for anyone trying to get their story picked up by any studio. ofmd is just one of many shows that are unlucky enough to exist at this very unstable time for the tv/streaming industry.
when i think abt it that way, tho, i’m struck by how lucky we are that ofmd even got to exist at all. if the wbd merger had happened a year earlier, or if djenks and tw tried to pitch this show a year later, there’s no way this show would’ve been made. s1 was given the runtime and the creative freedom needed to tell the story the way the showrunners wanted to, and the final product benefited from it so much that it became a huge hit from sheer gay word of mouth. and for all the imperfections with s2—the shorter episode order, the hard 30 minute per episode limit, the last-minute script changes, the finale a butchered mess of the intended creative vision—the team behind ofmd managed to tell a beautiful story despite the uphill battle they undoubtedly were up against. they ended the season with the main characters in a happy place. ed and stede are together, and our last shot of ed isn’t of him sobbing uncontrollably (like i rlly can’t stress enough how much i would have never been able to acknowledge the existence of this show again if s1 was all we got)
like. y’all. we were this close to a world where ofmd never got to exist. for me, at least, the pain of an undue cancellation is worth getting to have this story at all. so rather than taking my comfort in the form of righteous anger at david zaslav or at wbd or at the entire streaming industry as a whole, i’m trying to focus on how lucky i am to get to have the show in the first place.
bc really, even as i’m reeling in grief to know this is the end of the road for ofmd, a part of me still can’t quite wrap my head around that this show is real. a queer romcom about middle-aged men, a rejection of washboard abs and facetuned beauty standards, a masterful deconstruction and criticism of toxic masculinity, well-written female characters who get to shine despite being in a show that is primarily about manhood and masculinity, diverse characters whose stories never center around oppression and bigotry, a casually nonbinary character, violent revenge fantasies against oppressors that are cathartic but at the same time are not what brings the characters healing and joy, a queer found family, a strong theme of anti colonialism throughout the entire show. a diverse writers room that got to use their perspectives and experiences to inform the story. the fact that above all else, this show is about the love story between ed and stede, which means the character arcs, the thoughts, the feelings, the motivations, the backstories, and everything else that make up the characters of ed and stede are given the most focus and the most care.
bc there rlly aren’t a lot of shows where a character like stede—a flamboyant and overtly gay middle-aged man who abandoned his family to live his life authentically—gets to be the main character of a romcom, gets to be the hero who the show is rooting for.
and god, there definitely aren’t a lot of shows where a character like ed—a queer indigenous man who is famous, successful, hyper-competent, who feels trapped by rigid standards of toxic hypermasculinity, who yearns for softness and gentleness and genuine interpersonal connection and vulnerability, whose mental health struggles and suicidal intentions are given such a huge degree of attention and delicate care in their depiction, who messes up and hurts people when he’s in pain but who the show is still endlessly sympathetic towards—gets to exist at all, much less as the romantic lead and the second protagonist of the show.
so fuck the studios, fuck capitalism, fuck everything that brought the show to an end before the story was told all the way through. because the forces that are keeping s3 from being made are the same forces that would’ve seen the entire show canceled before it even began. s3 is canceled, and s2 suffered from studio meddling, but we still won. we got to have this show. we got to have these characters. there’s been so much working against this show from the very beginning but here we are, two years later, lives changed bc despite all odds, ofmd exists. they can’t take that away from us. they can’t make us stop talking abt or stop caring abt this show. i’m gonna be a fan of this show til the day i die, and the studios hate that. they hate that we care about things that don’t fit into their business strategy, they hate that not everyone will blindly consume endless IP reboots and spin-offs and cheap reality tv.
anyway i dont rlly have a neat way to end this post. sorta just rambling abt my feelings. idk, i know this sucks but im not rlly feeling like wallowing in it. i think my gratitude for the show is outweighing my grief and anger, at least for right now. most important thing tho is im not going anywhere. and my love for this show is certainly not fucking going anywhere.
#ofmd#our flag means death#save ofmd#s3 renewal hell#txt#mine#og#studio crit#edward teach#stede bonnet#gentlebeard
325 notes
·
View notes