#especially mamoru NOT REALISING SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[speakyskelly-1999]

yo broskies

it's ya boi

i'm back

also i realised when i said i finishe sailor moon today that was like three days ago that's how long I took writing cos life innit

okay so errr plot

also there probaly gonnabe less of this cos this season was kinds more character focused

spoilers again

and i lied

i said i'd split the plot into sections but since it was so character driven in comparison imma give a short over view

i've already talked about the first 13 episodes

episode 14 chibi-usa joins the gang but falling ontop of usagi, kissing mamoru and then holding a fake gun to usagi's head. cool. but like I didn't like her at this point. she's trying to find the silver crystal for reasons unknown (those reasons being the fucked up and threw her world into peril, more on that later). guess who also want the silver crystal (and the "rabbit" by extension) that's right folks the black moon clan for again reasons unknown. this consists of 4 sisters and one dick (man sucked). chibi-usa mincontrolleed usagi's family into believing that she was their cousin come to stay for a while (usagi big mad). and to make matters worse mamoru breaks up with her, so tragic. (he did it cos dream future him told him to, but we find that out later). the sisters slowly realise that what they're fighting for isn't right and turn good one by one. koan is the first then bethier and then petz and calaveras in a double billing. during this time chibi-usa keeps mentioning her distance for usagi while idolising sailor moon who, during the double billing, finds out finds out that usagi is in fact sailor moon (gasp, I did not see that coming) okay but in all seriousness it was done very well. the different reasons the sisters had for turning on rudeus and especially initially dynamics and reasons to the group and her discovery of sdailor moon. beautifully done.

the next bit was really short. they met pluto and esmeraude turned up to be the main big bad for this bit. oh and I forgot to say the the sailor soldiers kill rudeus (technically. in reality they just destroy the ship he's on and he couldn't get off in time). her goal was to aqure dark energy for the evil black crystal.

and then they go to the furute. why? beats me. i shouldn't be writing this why I'm slightly delirous cos I'm ill but it's funny. why the fuck do they go to the future? oh yea. chibi-usa wants the sailor soldiers to save her mum (they don't know its usagi/sailor moon herself yet) they meet pluto in the flesh whos guarding the gates of time and space (real erm real the doctor moment right there) and she almost bonks usagi on the head it's quite funny. so in the future they meet 'ghost' king endymion. omg chibi-usa is usagi and mamorus kid who have thunk it. he reveals to usagi and mamoru that he had to test their bond to see if they could handle what the future will through at them (oh I forgot to mention that usagi and mamoru are back together now cos she also had the dream). oooooh yeaaaaa. so we meet dimande who ahs a fucking weird hard on for usagi who figures out she's queen serenity sorry neo queen serenity cos he's obsessed with her eyes. he's now the big bad but oh wait he's working for an even bigger bad called wiseman (and we'll get to who he's working for in a bit, perhaps it's an even bigger bad). dimande has a brother saphir who doesn't like wiseman and esmeraude is only working for them cos she's down bad for dimande btw.

did i miss anything out. probably. moving on. wait. i should probably explain peoples motivation. okay so. dimande is made at the city of crystal tokyo cos his clan was banned from earth by neo queen serenity for staging a coup (think. either way they were banished) to the planet nemisis, the 10th planet which has a bunch of evil energy on and wiseman, a person who was sent their at some time that then became like one with the planet or something, i don't really know but he's evil. while dimande wants to take earth for his clan, wiseman is using him to open up a portal and bring about death phantom. got that cool. so while still in the future sailor moon and co try to wake up neo queen serenity (this is after tuxedo mask saved her from being kidnapped by dimande). this doesn't work and the castle is attacked by a dragon that use to be esmeraude cos she was tricked by wiseman. wiseman has also realised that chibi-usa is a nuke and wants to corrupt her and so kidnaps her and takes her back to the present. and then the sailor soldiers follow suite

so back in the present. the sailor soldiers touch down on earth and they meet black lady, the corrupted adult form of chibi-usa and they know it's her cos they take luna-p from them (oh yea forgot to say luna-p is one of the tools chibi-usa has, she also has a key that should transport her to the future when she wants but she can't really control her powers so the previous times she's used it, it just became a beacon to where she was for the bad guys). who they try and unbrain wash(and almost succeed) but wiseman turns up and nabs her back. saphir finds out that wiseman plans to betray him and his brother and so steals a powercell for the evil black crystal (ngl chief I also don't really get it but I can't read or write so shrug) wiseman catches him and wounds him greatly but he's able to escape to earth where petz finds him and it turns out she has a crush on him oooooooooh. saphir goes to find his brother to tell him the truth while the sisters ring the sailor soldiers. a fight ensues and ultimately saphir dies trying to tell his bro the truth. dimande actually mourns his brother and FINALLY doesn't fully trust wiseman anymore. too bad he dies in the next episode. but before then he's gonna try his darndest manipulate sailor moon into kissing him. he fails and he dies and I don't really care if he got a mini redemption man was a creep. so they get to the top of the big crystal and try and turn black lady good again and they do but oh no it's too late the protal is already open. welp. i guess sailor moon and chibi-usa are gonna have to use the power of the phantom silver crystal (usagi's depowered one due to the events of the previous season) and the silver crystal (the one that chibi-usa thought she lost but it turns out was inside her all along). they defeat wiseman and everything is hunky-dory. and then they have a really emotional goodbye to chibi-usa which is beautifully executed. and then you see her in the future with everyone waiting for her. so sweet.

but yea. so that was sailor moon r. it was very good. i think i personally still prefer the first season. while not as coherent in it's pacing that ending just coming out of nowhere and making me cry (and my friend ugly cry cos she had no idea if they were gonna live or not) was so good. this one dosn't pack the same punch and it's not trying to, the stakes are very different, but it still hits. the main focus character, asides from usagi, was obviously chibi-usa, her overcoming her short comings and being the cause as to why any of this if happening in the first place. they handled time travel better than i thought they would. it's still not really what i like (doctor who is the perfered method, and star trek, while also not a fave version of the concept, i still perfer their exicution) it was still coherent and okay in my books. over all the r was a solid 8/10

i've not watched the clip show yet which is tecnically the last episode but i know it's gonna be fun

i lied

so i finished sailor moon today thus why the review is now

i did finish my happy marrage yesterday but i was too busy to wirte a review so i'll bang that out after this

now without further ado

sailor moon r

omg guess what; theres gonna be spoilers

and with making sure this goes to the right blog

i'll strucuture it like how i did the full synopsis of the first season

so characters then plot

also imma split the plot into what i consider to be the different acts of the peice (and no these are not compliant with the manga acts)

good? good

usagi:

fuck maaaan. as i said in my review of the fist 13 episodes sh'es matured a lot and you can really see that the events of the previous season has effected. even in the climax of this season she's way more mature about the impending threat and increadibly willing to sacrifice herself to protect her friends and the planet incomparion to her wanting to give up the silver crystal to save them in the first season. obviusly the cerumctanses are different but still beautiful character developement. her relationship with chibi usa is facinating. they start out as siblings who hate each other and then grow into really good siblings. even once knowing that usagi is actually her mother they still remain mainly with a sibling vibe as while usagi is her mother it's not this verson of usagi that is her mother with i aprechiate. and don't worry she still feels her age. i believe she's still 14 by this point but would soon be turning 15 (checking the wiki roughly) and she definatly feels that age if i'm correct. she's such a well written charcter it's insane. i don't have much else to say about usagi. she's fighting hard to end up on my fav list for sure

chibi-usa (small lady):

man i wanted to hate her. like as a concept i did not see how they were gonna exicute that well. but holy shit she did it. like don't get me wrong i hated her at the begining. her anger and distane for usagi is really interesting. but the way she grows throught out the seires was marvilous. her hating usagi at the beinging and adoring sailor moon. finding out that usagi is sailor moon and how that destroys her world view a little, and then at the end when she's leaving calling usagi her mother, ah so cute, great characterisation. her relationship with mamoru is interesting. she's initially implied to have a crush on him. at some point i do believe this fades but it's still a little weird considering it's her future dad. when she demands to hang out mamoru to annoy usagi, once she's over the crush, it's fine and quite funny. her relationship with the other sailor soldiers is sweet. she likes them as much as they adore her. and tbf it's the same with usagi's family. yes she manipulates them into thinking she's their cusion, thus causing them to like her, but even with that they would have liked her anyway

ami:

she keeps getting more and more things to do it's great. genuinly thought they'd just forget about her but her focused episodes have been great. the one where she deats the vilain by not giving into the illusions she's being shown of her friends hating her. great stuff. more than what chibi USA could do. and usagi to a certain extent. her dedication to studying as well is still very fun. the way she keeps bringing it up is great each time. i'm not borad of it yet. mercury very much trying to buy a place on my favorites

rei:

this ones really interesting. as she gets a lot of focus in the first season she takes a back seat in this one. which definatly allows the others to shine but (asides from in the 1-13 blokes of episodes) i don't recall her having an episode fully focused on her. which again, not bad as it allows for others to be shown I REMEMBERED HER FOCUSED EPISODE. in my mind it's more of the another characters focused episode and i'd probably class it as much. but she is the other focal character and it does a great job of showing off her character. again still a very stong character albet with less to do. okay but her relationship with chibi usa is quite cute as she seems to be the sailor soldier chibi likes the most and they get along accordingly

makoto:

i love her but (asides from the episode in 1-13) has no episodes to herself. it's tragic. yea she a fun character but she just gets nothing to do. like they put in work to flesh out ami who also initially didn't get much but no effort into doing more stuff with makoto. i like the fact that despite being the tallest and most 'boyish' (at the moment) she's actually the best at cooking, cleaning, ice skating etc. like she a better cook than minako, usagi and rei (I don't think we've seen ami cook but i'd assume it was pretty calculated). but yea, I like her but she has nothing to do

minako:

again you can tell, once she has an episode focused on her that we was initially meant to be a protagonist herself. the episode where everyone is sick and she has to take care of all the other sailor soldiers, so good. it does a real good job showing her relationship with chibi usa and her dynamic with the rest of the soldiers. i wish we had more episodes focused on her but I get that she kind of steals the show a little considering she is essentially a sleeper protagonist thus focusing on her too much would probably feel a little weird after a while.

luna:

she has less to do but as ever a grace to have on my screen. side note my friend has a bunch of screen caps of luna just being cute from the show and while yes I'm calling her out I also totally understand and would have done the same if I was watching it on my phone (I mean luna is my current wallpaper)

artimis:

omg look i named him this time. yea he gets better...

mamoru:

man really wanted to make me hate him for a while. so after he gets his memories back hima nd usagi start dating. but oh no, he starts getting weird dreams about if they stay together only bad things (the probably death of usagi) will occur. oooh nooooo. so he breaks up with her with no explanation. so usagi is destrught and keeps trying to win back his affections. now how much of this could have been solved if he had just told her what was happening. so much. now you may be thinking maybe he couldn't tell sailor moon. she ends up getting the same fucking dream as him and then they have a conversation about and they start dating again. so all of that was pointless. but anyway after they get back together again it's really cute. and the way he interacts with chibi usa is great and whatever. he's back in my good books but on thin fucking ice. oh and it was future him that told him warmed him about the future saying "he had to test their bond" or some bullshit. whatever.

koan:

honestly really interesting that she turned good first. like it made sense but I also found it interesting. she has mycolour scheme out of all 4 sisters and her episode when she turned good due to rei was beautily done. really enjoyable to watch

berthier:

has my favorite design out of all the sisters. her feeling betrayed and abandoned by koan was really nicely done and the fact that she couldn't get over losing to ami was very funny

calaveras:

honestly i care about her the least out of all the sisters and that's due to her having very little to do incomparison. her feeling betrayed by petz was a nice touch

petz:

girl calaveras wasn't gonna betray you what are you doing. but in all seriousness her betraying calaberas due to her previous sisters 'betray' was very well done. and then later on when she tries to save saphir. damn that was good

rubeus:

fucker deserved it

esmeraude:

okay like she deserved it but i did feel bad for her in the end

saphir:

man did not deserve to die. he was part of the problem yes but he helped the solution

dimande:

creep. look i don't even care that he helped sailor moon at the end he was just a creep. man got so turned on by queen serenity he just ignored is bother telling him that they strayed from their original plan and that wise man was betraying them/ absolute fucking creep

wiseman:

he was fine

black lady:

it's a crime that her design is that good considering she older evil chibi-usa. okay but in all seriousness I quite liked her. she was interesting enough. ngl I thought she'd have more to do/have more screen time considering she seems to be some what of a fan favorite

naru:

damn. like considering they really didn't need to keep bringing her up I'm glad they did. she might not really deserve I singular placement here but fuck it I want to include her on her own. man, the fact that she kinda knows usagi is sailor moon (she at least understands that usagi knows whats going on at the end) but accepts that usagi just can't tell her. so good.

others:

errr lets see. umino is still here. vibing mainly. usagi's family donm't do much this time round. And motoki has like one appearance which is sad but understandable

[sailorfailures]

YEAH IT’S YOU!!!! IT’S YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!

[atopearth]

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Part 3 - Ota Kisaki Route (up to Proposal Epilogue)

Apparently people aren't really fond of Ota and Mamoru so let's see how the former goes~ Lmao at him thinking she looks like his dog and even says she'll be his pet from now on, I guess that's how this story will go... Wow, okay, I really don't know how to feel about this LOL. Not only is it weird and uncomfortable for him to keep calling the heroine his pet's name but the fact that he literally treats her like a pet is veryyyyy disturbing tbh lol. Man, at this rate, I'm starting to think Eisuke is a saint compared to him. I actually find Ota's "split personality" hilarious, it's so funny how he has something bad to say about every single person he talks to lmao. I really didn't expect the heroine to suddenly burst out crying from the bullying by Erika since I feel like she's always been a bully lol, but it does suck so I feel for her. At least Ota finally got how much stress she was under and bothered to clear things up about their relationship to others so they would stop bullying her for being close to him.

Lolll at Ota pointing at the sign in the park stating all pets must be on a leash so that's his reason for holding the heroine's hand. Omg, Ota has his own museum😮 Ota's weird but I love the way he gave the leash/necklace to the heroine, he's so hot in the CG! Love how the necklace is handmade. It really sucks that Ota finally found inspiration to make an original work since he hasn't been doing it for years, and now some painter stole his idea. I'll admit it was pretty silly of him to share his idea, but we shouldn't blame the victim! These people are despicable! Ooh I didn't expect them to have sex when she said she'll comfort him, at least Ota really does seem to like her a bit now because of how loyal and supportive she's been and how she's been getting mad on his behalf. LMAO when the heroine shook her head because she was thinking about whether she loves Ota, and he asked if she was shaking her fleas off, I died🤣🤣🤣 It actually felt really sad when the heroine insisted she was a human and wanted to get to know him and his feelings, and Ota said he didn't need a human. Even though he's weird, I guess I can kinda understand that sentiment of wanting a pet like a dog who would love you without any judgement. On the other hand, I'm finding it hilarious how Eisuke would say something to the heroine but she's so preoccupied by her thoughts that she basically ignores him and he gets sulky about it🤣🤣🤣

I feel so bad for Ota that someone he respected so much and brought him into the world of painting stole one of his works and basically made him out to be a thief to protect himself. LMAO when Ota sniffled telling the reporters to leave the heroine aka his important person alone, he's such a faker🤣🤣 On the other hand, Ota's painting sounded pretty cool! Honestly, Ota's main story wasn't too bad but it does pale in comparison to the other guys with his strange pet thing, but it was quite entertaining! I loved how much of a riot the fake and real Ota was, and to a certain extent, Ota and the heroine were kinda cute in their own silly way. I quite like Ota's perspective, especially when it showed how concerned he was for leaving the heroine alone with Baba, and how he ended up making her the necklace and rushing back without having done much work at all lol. Also nice to know that he didn't want to treat her as Koro anymore early on, but he kept doing it because he felt like it was the only reason he had to make her stay beside him, which is really cute in his own way tbh. Considering how playful Ota usually is, I never really realised how childish he actually was until I read his story haha, it's not a bad thing though imo, it's actually pretty cute because he's much more innocent than I thought. Especially since the guys seem to really watch over him as their big brother, and I think that's so adorable!! I think Eisuke seems to take care of Ota, fully support and spoil him the most tbh and I find that really cute. It's nice to see how everyone warmly watches over Ota and how happy they are that he's found something he truly wants to protect instead of wallowing away thinking everything is "boring".

LOL at all the guys trying to force Ota to stop treating her like a pet whenever he feels like by saying stuff like she's a pet anyway, so we can take her out lolll. Anyway, it's funny but also frustrating because the heroine is always dancing around in Ota's palm, trying to cheer him up when he's mad even though it's his fault, which really frustrates me tbh. And this is exactly why!! When Ota gets mad about something, even if it's not related to the heroine, he goes back into his "shell" and shuts out everyone which is understandable and normal, but omg he calls the heroine Koro again and basically treats her like a pet telling her to go home instead of talking like a normal person saying he needs some space and that she can go back first or something. It's like anything happens and the heroine is degraded back to being a dog and it annoys the hell out of me, especially since the heroine is always scared of being demoted back to "pet" when she shouldn't have to worry about something like that at all!! And omggg, another thing is that Ota does things on a whim. He told the heroine he would stop helping out with the auctions and promised her, and then now he joins them again without even saying anything to her like seriously, it's obvious he would go back but could he like you know tell the heroine? But I do acknowledge that this must be a difficult time for him so it's hard to care about her feelings when his feelings are at a lost considering his mentor is basically the cause of why he's so lacking in trust towards others.

Even though it was silly of the heroine to go to the reporter who hates Ota to get info, Baba knew so he would have watched over her and he told Ota so it was all good lol. At least the reporter gave useful info about Ota's mentor. Honestly, what his mentor did back then was unforgivable mainly because he made Ota think that there really was no one he could trust in this world, and I think that was much worse than the plagiarism itself. I honestly didn't want to forgive him, but when they talked about how his mentor got that cherry blossom tree Ota painted back in the day, it really made my heart melt, and I think that solidified how much his mentor cherished Ota and how much he regretted what he did back then. If only his mentor wasn't dying, because I'm sure Ota would have forgave him and they could have painted together again. I'm glad Ota finally properly asked the heroine if he could do the auctions again to get his mentor's paintings back because they sold it to some guy on the condition he wouldn't sell it to anyone else and would only cherish it for himself and now it's in the black market against their wishes. I'm happy for Ota that he was able to paint the cherry blossoms and show them to his mentor before he passed. But I'm even more happy for him that he's finally found his own reasons for continuing to be a part of the auctions, and it's to protect other works of art like his mentor's, which I find very sweet. I definitely enjoyed the sequel much more than the main story! I'm so glad the heroine stood her ground and didn't give in to forgiving Ota for basically disrespecting her seriousness towards her work and always trying to brush things off by giving her food and saying her getting mad is silly. I was so proud of her when she refused to let go of it because she loves her work and wants Ota to understand that just as his work is important to him, hers is also very important to her. I'm happy he finally understood her after watching her work, and he properly apologised!! Impressed!! LOL when she said she wanted Ota to be her pet🤣🤣

If Amina is the Sheikh's daughter, she's probably the one behind everything trying to get the heroine arrested etc, and Ota is just trying to deal with her in his own way, but honestly, the way he did it made me want to cry too LOL. I can't imagine being in the heroine's situation having to see my partner kiss another woman's neck in our house and then tell me to get lost because it's not my business. My heart literally broke for her, especially since she always feels like maybe she's just a pet to him and that she's not that important😭😭😭 Anyway, as expected, Amina was a "silly villain" and I really didn't care for her feelings and motives, and I found them quite bland. I don't feel like the Living Together story really served to make Ota and the heroine's relationship stronger or anything and kinda just felt like some random rock in their path that they took a while to kick out of their way but immediately forgettable. And honestly, it always feels like 5 steps forward, 3 steps backwards with Ota. He always seems to treat the heroine better and then he goes back to being frustrating. Especially with the beef stew thing!! He could have said he didn't want to eat it in much better ways but he had to say it in such a hurtful way and then get annoyed when Baba and Mamoru eat it, like dude, you straight out said you basically didn't want to eat it, so give it to people who would actually appreciate it. Anyway, he annoyed me.

Lmao at Ota giving the heroine a collar and then tricking her into giving him her "paw"🤣 Too bad Ota's mum just had to arrive at this moment lolll. I'm glad Ota is actually trying to protect himself and the heroine from his overbearing mum, but dang she's crazy. I love Mamoru, it was so funny when he said Ota and his mum are similar because they both screech like monkeys when they're pissed LMAO, I'm dead🤣🤣 Honestly, even though it's funny at times, Ota's mum is wayyy too frustrating, I feel so bad for the heroine. She was so naive and wanted to try so hard to communicate with his mum and get her to like her, but all the mum wanted to do was embarrass and harass her. I'm so glad Ota is on the heroine's side. Honestly, it's so disgusting how Ota's mum does stuff. Like, she says everything is for Ota's future but she rigs the results for this world art competition to make him lose the preliminary round just so he'll lose the bet and have to break up with the heroine?? She's such a hypocrite, she doesn't care about Ota at all, she just wants to control him, otherwise she would care about his reputation. I can't imagine how embarrassing and disappointing it would be for Ota to lose in the preliminary round considering how well-regarded his art is, I can't imagine how people would react to him after that. Honestly, I agree that Ota needed to confront his mother eventually and that running away wouldn't do anything, but seriously, she's so insufferable with the kidnapping him and stuff. Yeah, she cares about him and he's her whole life after she felt neglected by her husband etc, but she can't force her feelings on Ota and expect him to receive them just because she's his mother and she loves him. If he can't feel that love properly, she should be reflecting on her methods, not constantly bothering him in the same way for years hoping he'd understand, it's just ridiculous, especially since she did things in such a way that I honestly still think is frustrating and I really don't want to see her again lollll. On the other hand though, I'm glad to see Ota not joking around and defending the heroine, and trying to protect her from his mother the whole time, and I liked how the heroine stood up to them at the end.

Whoa, I didn't expect a CG with Ota waking up nude hahaha. Pretty hot🔥 and kinda cute since he's rubbing his eyes haha. One thing I've been really liking about Ota's stories is how supportive and encouraging Erika has become🥲🥲 Although the guys betting on the heroine and making her a "prize" was pretty ughh, I'll take it in stride because even if Ota didn't win, I'm sure they would just poke fun at him. Lmao at Ota cheating to win though hahaha. Man, the paparazzi are crazyyy here, understandable since Ota is creating a sculpture for a royal wedding but it's really rude to harass the heroine and say stuff like she's too boring for someone like Ota like geez. I'm glad Ota took her worries seriously and comforted her. I feel so bad for the heroine though, it's so anxiety-inducing to feel like people are constantly watching you, and that reporter was absolutely crazy. OMG, Ota actually quit the job for the heroine, I am so touched at how decisive he is. I really love how you can see how important she is to him. Luke told him she had aphonia and lost her voice due to stress, and Ota could see how she was in so much distress just from being left alone in the house by herself but still tried to stay strong to not bother him, so it's really sweet to see him give up on such a big job for her. It's actually so heartbreaking to see the heroine constantly apologise to Ota because she feels like a burden to him. It's obviously not her fault and she should prioritise her own health above all else, but I can understand how she must feel like she's dragging Ota down. But at the same time I feel so bad for Ota because he thinks it's all his fault that she can't talk, she can't smile as happily as she used to, and that she's scared of every little thing and sound. Bryan's turnaround is quick but as long as he's not annoying, I'm all for it. At least he apologised about the paparazzi thing and realised that he does like art and wants to start approaching it again with love like how he used to, instead of focusing on his reputation. I loveee how Ota used the chipped alexandrite from the necklace to make a ring to propose, that's so sweet! Awww, Ota actually said on TV that if the paparazzi ever hurt his girlfriend again, he'll never create another piece of art again! He's so cute!! Ooh that's the good ending hahaha. I loveee how the heroine was too nervous when Ota first proposed (because of the reporters), so he did it again privately, it was so sweet! Even though Ota can be childish, I think it's really heartwarming to see how much he genuinely cares for her and loves her to the point that he would literally give up his jobs for her.

Overall, I definitely liked Ota much more than I expected! Him calling the heroine Koro in the beginning was super weird but as you kinda realise that Koro was basically the only one he trusted because he lost faith in humans, and then as he starts using it in an affectionate way, I really couldn't dislike him for it anymore because it was pretty cute, and I love how the heroine straight up tells him to not treat her like a pet further in the stories so she's not a pushover about it either. I think what I enjoyed the most out of Ota's stories is how much inspiration and strength to move forward in his career and life he got out of being with the heroine, and you can really see how much he cherishes her by the Proposal story. I think it might be my favourite proposal out of the guys just because I love how in his PoV, you could totally see how much he cared about the heroine and how decisive he was in choosing to protect her over everything else in his life, and that really solidified Ota's place in my heart. Yeah, he's still childish and sometimes I'm like wth to his lack of communication and the way he does things, but I think the way he makes up for them in the end makes me understand why the heroine always forgives him for whatever he does. And so many extra points for him standing up to his crazy mother and protecting the heroine!! When it comes to crazy parents, alot of the time, the guy holds back or whatever because this is their parent, but I love how Ota always made sure to tell his mother off for treating the heroine the way she did. I think I can see why so many people love KbtBB now, because I feel like I'm really attached to all of them in different ways haha!

[floraone]

The King’s New Clothes

So I wrote this for @nari20 because it happened, lol! (And the reason it happened is because Nari is currently doing a compilation of Mamoru Makeover Art over on twitter because she is a gift to this world and there is a MANKINI IN IT and TUX UNDERWEAR and I am LIVING and how do we deserve this woman in our midst making our days So Entertaining lol?!)

Anyway. Talking about Mamoru fashion ended in some mutual prompting so. Enjoy some Fabulous Fashionable Kendy tumblr short!

---

Utopia had taken a surprising amount of time to adjust to, and no one had had a harder time with it than the new queen of the world.

Especially in the beginning, she'd bottled it up and painted a smile over it. But Mamoru - King Endymion now, or so his official royal name, and what the fuck that would need some getting used to - had been with his wife for long enough to see the tenseness of her shoulders, know what it meant when she gripped his hand so tight.

She'd been terrified.

The leaders of the world intimidated her. Not because she was someone easily intimidated, but mostly because some of them tried very hard to do so.

She gritted her teeth through glassy eyes when another old, bald man in a bland, navy suit tried to talk down at her, and stood her ground.

But afterwards, she'd tremble in his arms in the hotel room in any capital city of the world and try to breathe in deeply through her nose. When she'd started whipping out notebooks asking him all sorts of vernacular intentionally thrown her way because she could not understand it, thinking she had to learn and asking him to tutor her even though they’d done it all on purpose, he got mad in a way he started shouting for the first time in his life outside of life and death situations.

Not at her, mind you.

But they were trying to bring down his wife, not even realising the luck they fucking had to have someone with her heart trying to make them be compassionate and humanitarian and good. Someone so unwaveringly pure, someone with her unfaltering integrity. Someone so easily finding the good in others and bringing it out.

But they'd just fucking have to learn.

He'd hired a personal translator for her then, first thing in the morning. One of what was to be one of many. Someone who'd take these terms fired at her in foreign languages and usually translated just as haughtily and arrogantly to her, and instead explain them without shrouding them in pomp and circumstance. 'Habituation' in the end, was only 'getting used to something over time', after all, for a good translator.

They might have tried to hit her at her flaws, but Mamoru was determined, at Neo Queen Serenity's side, to show off where she was better than any of these assholes combined. The world lacked love, not fancy words. Usagi had him for the fancy words.

And so, even though it all began in endless work hours that tore at Usagi, in stuffy rooms half-way around the world at any point in the year, slowly, she grew into it. If Usagi was good at one thing, it was finding positivity and joy in all manner of circumstances, and this was no different.

The climate treaty negotiations in Brussels might have been mind-numbingly infuriating, but she'd snuck them out during lunch hour to a Belgian chocolate vendor nearby who'd been making paradise for the tongue for over 300 years in their little family run-store, and Usagi's eyes lit up like this had suddenly turned into the best fucking day. She might have to try and wrangle power-hungry men, but she could also buy a restored French carousel from 1872 and put it in her sitting room, and yes, she had. And yes, she rode it.

But even those worldly pleasures that made it all more bearable for someone who struggled with having to concentrate for a minimum 60 fucking hours a week most of the time, those pleasures that had the power to balance out the fact that Tsukino Usagi did not get to sleep in anymore at all, ever, were sometimes turned sour for her.

The second time he'd shouted outside life-and-death situations, he'd found her crying over a tabloid as she emptied hanger after hanger of extravagant dresses from her wardrobe.

One of those pleasures that made it all worthwhile for her? Fucking extravagant dresses. Even when Usagi was 14 and had only just learned she'd one day be fucking queen of the world, she'd started to look at couture differently. Started collecting moodboards and clippings. She'd been looking forward to that. A teenage girl's dream of the glamourous life of being Queen.

But now that she was, this life was more work than glamour. The only glamour she got was the one she made for herself. Like carousels in sitting rooms. Like Paolo Sebastian Autumn/Winter 2018 and George Chakra Autumn/Winter 2016 and Isabel Sanchis Spring/Summer 2020 and Ralph & Russo 2017 and Dior Spring/Summer 1992.

The tabloid was horrid. 'Neo Queen Serenity: What a Little Girl Looks Like Who Mistakes Leadership for Playing Dress-Up. Is the Future in Good Hands?'

Underneath it, a spread of Usagi in glittering, sparkling, over-the-top dresses. Everywhere from cutting ribbons at the newly minted Crystal Tokyo Center for Free Childcare to sitting in week-long conferences somewhere in New Brunswick.

Sometimes, he wasn't so sure if the world even deserved her.

He'd personally hung back every hanger into this wardrobe himself, cancelled their meetings for the day much to Ami-chan's organisational horrors, and took her shopping in disguise.

That day, something profound had changed.

"This one," Usagi had said with a flushed giggle. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes were dancing. And really, if it took playing dress up for her, no garment was ridiculous enough to not be worth it.

He stepped out the dressing room in the brightest floral-patterned shiny pastel suit the world had ever seen. Baby blue and pink roses over rococo gold embroidery to bright baby blue patent leather loafers. He looked like a chandelier had fallen into fresh paint and then rolled around in confetti. And his Queen loved it.

"Well, then," he'd winked, and she'd giggled again. "Let's take five."

If they were going to make fun of her choice of clothes, he'd just have to top her game, Mamoru decided.

And really, it made so much fucking sense.

Back when he was a boy with a glimpse of he's future, he'd always wondered how the hell THAT happened. And with that, he'd of course meant something quite specific, and not the fact he'd somehow made it on a throne.

A lavender colored tuxedo that had made him frown into the night for a long, long time. A lavender colored tuxedo that had yet not found its way into his possession. One he'd begun to doubt ever would.

Of course, Mamoru had always liked the more dramatic of clothes. So far, so unsurprising. His favorite attire was a tux and cape that he could flap like no other, after all, and then came a color-blocked puff sleave shirt he'd worn until it fell apart. He'd always liked color. One didn't get married to Tsukino Usagi if they didn't adore a colorful world.

But that?

And yet the royal world they'd found in their future hadn't looked satin and lavender when they'd finally made it there. It hadn't happened. It was navy suits and etui dresses with leaded hems to they wouldn't blow up, covered shoulders and skirts that absolutely had to be no smaller than knee-length, and he supposed it had made sense. After all, the Windsors didn't run around in see-through shift dresses and tiaras, either.

He'd even been a little relieved. He liked blending in. He'd told himself, when he first saw that lavender tux when he was fucking 18 and his mind was blown with too much information he should not have had, that he wasn't gonna do it. No matter what.

Now? Now it made so much sense. Really, he should have known. Of course, this was what was gonna do it.

Someone criticize his wife? They gotta go through him.

If protecting his wife's happiness while she made the world a better place meant Lavender Suits and Capes, then this was what it'll take.

Now, he was gonna fucking do it. Of course, he was.

So no, the Windors still wore unicolor, leaded costumes in the future.

His wife wore skin-tight chiffon, silk and satin.

And he wore mermaid-colored sequined-dinner jackets. He wore heels with flamingo-patterned trousers, complete with a tuxedo stripe at each side. He wore shimmering, metallic athletic wear, skin tight. He wore fake fur collars and thick embroidered velvet robes to black leather gloves. He owned a mankini. A hot pink leather jacket he wore over men's pastel evening wear. The green jacket was jealous somewhere in a closet. Maboroshi no fucking fashion sense.

Nobody ever wrote something offending about the Queen's new clothes once he'd grooved himself in.

(Minako loved it perhaps most of all.)

---

(ANYWAY NARI *ILLUSTRATED* THIS IN THE 50 MINUTES THAT IT TOOK ME TO WRITE THIS AND YOU GOTTA SEE HER ART. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO YOU DO MAGIC SO FAST, NARI?!)

[tres-spades-hotel]

Day 2 - Family. Friendship. Camaraderie

Rest

My pager goes off as I am working so I quickly head to the penthouse lounge. Luckily, I was in the process of cleaning the VIP rooms so it took me less than 2 minutes to get there.

‘That was barely 5 minutes! How the heck did you get here?’ Mamoru says.

‘I was cleaning your suite Mamoru.’ He looks away from me since we both know that he has the messiest room out of all the bidders.

I look over to see Eisuke working on his tablet while his laptop was on the coffee table.

‘Coffee?’

‘Oh yes please!’ I take everyone’s orders and go to brew the coffee. When I come back, everyone is busy with something so I hand out the drinks quietly. I go over to Eisuke to give him his coffee. As I stand and hold out his coffee, Eisuke doesn’t take it. I shake his shoulder and he looks up.

‘Just put it on the coffee table.’

‘But there’s no room on the table.’

He sighs and put his tablet down, taking the mug from me.

‘You can go now.’ Is all he says before picking up his tablet again. I frown. I don’t know why but I want more than just ‘you can leave’. So I quickly kiss his cheek. Eisuke smirks and I hear everyone freaking out. Baba even sighs dramatically.

‘If only I had a loving woman like Boss does.’

‘You have to find a woman first who actually wants to be with you. But since you’re so old, that might not happen.’

‘What?!’ While Baba goes into shock, Eisuke gets up and makes a call as he leaves for his suite.

‘He’s really busy,’ Soryu says.

‘Yeah what’s he up to?’ Ota asks.

‘There’s a new business that wants to be a part of the hotel right?’ Baba asks.

I nod in response. ’Yes he’s making a few contracts with them but I think there are some... um, complications.’

‘How long has this been going on for?’ Mamoru asks.

I think for a moment. ’Maybe a few days? I don’t really see him anymore other than when he’s in here. He comes back late and is gone by the time I wake up.’

‘Boss is working too hard.’

‘I know! If I ever find out who that new business is, I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind! Eisuke’s health will... will...’

‘Decline?’

‘Deteriorate?’

‘Worsen?’

‘Yeah! All of those things!’

‘You’re such a doting wife Vivian,’ Baba says.

‘Hey. I’m not his wife… yet.’ I say feeling heat rush to my cheeks.

*

Eisuke pages me again, this time to our private suite. When I get there, he’s scowling at his tablet. I quickly get his coffee with milk and sugar and put it on the table. I casually sink down into the couch close to Eisuke and stare at him.

His shoulders are tense and he seems tired. I lean over and kiss his cheek again but he doesn’t react this time. I pout and rest my chin on his shoulder but he still doesn’t respond.

I sigh inwardly and pull away. Instead, I thread my fingers through his hair and press my lips to his temple. I feel Eisuke finally relax under my touch. I pull away slowly and see Eisuke’s eyes close. My other hand trails down his arm to his hands and I gently take away the tablet. His shoulders are still quite tense so I stand up and walk behind the couch.

I take his shoulders in my hands and pull him back gently. I start massaging them slowly. Eisuke relaxes even more.

‘Eisuke, are you okay? I hope you’re not working yourself too hard.’ I say, leaning over.

‘I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.’ He says, taking my hands into his.

‘I have to worry Eisuke. I care so much about you that I can’t stand to see you like this. Can you take a break? Even for a few minutes?’ I ask desperately.

‘… Fine. Come here.’ He says, pulling me around the couch to sit on his lap. I thread my fingers through his hair again and pull him to my chest, letting Eisuke hear my heartbeat.

‘It’s beating faster.’ He mumbles.

‘That’s because of you.’ I say, nuzzling his hair with my cheek. Eisuke pulls me closer and relish in his warmth.

*

The next day, Eisuke comes down with a fever.

‘Eisuke, are you okay?’ Yukari and Eiji come to the hotel when I tell them Eisuke’s come down with a cold.

‘I’m fine. Just… a little under the weather.’ He says, attempting to sit up.

‘Stop. Luke said that you need to rest completely. Which means laying down.’ I push Eisuke back and he frowns at me.

‘Here, let me help Vivian! I’ll get some soup heated up.’ Yukari moves pretty quickly for a pregnant woman as she dashes into the kitchen. Eiji pulls a chair to the bed and sits down, crossing his legs just as elegantly as Eisuke does. He picks up Eisuke’s tablet and starts tapping away at it.

‘Let’s see…’ He mumbles as he looks through Eisuke’s work.

‘What are you doing?’ Eisuke asks.

‘I don’t know if you’ve forgotten Eisuke, but I did run a business before being sent to prison. I’ll handle the contracts, just rest for a few days.’

Eisuke’s frown falls deeper as he watches us fawn over him.

·       (EIJI’S POV)

Taking Eisuke’s work has really brought me back to my days when I ran the Kuga family business. It has been quite a long time since then.

I remember when Eisuke was a little boy, I had worked too hard and gotten a fever. Just like Eisuke. My wife would pester me all day about how I needed to take better care of my health. She was pregnant with Yukari at the time too so she became extremely worried. She even chewed my ear off when I laughed at her adorableness. It was her habit to puff out her cheeks whenever I teased her.

Now, with her looking over us, I have much free time. With no business to work for, my condo is my only home. It does feel strange to be out in society again, especially after 20 years of imprisonment. Akira is always beside me though and has given me work in the Ichinomiya Group to do.

That’s why Eisuke’s deal here is nothing but a little run round the park.

Although this particular business is doing my old head in. I arrive at the penthouse lounge to see Eisuke’s friends.

‘Oh, hello Eiji.’ The one in the bright red suit says to me.

‘Hello there everyone. How is my son doing?’ I ask.

‘Vivian said he’s doing better. And his fever went down a little.’ The one called Ota Kisaki says. I’ve heard of him before and Akira has a painting of his in his mansion.

‘That’s good.’ I say, sitting down on the couch and crossing my legs, taking the tablet out and turning it on. I feel eyes on me the moment I do it and look up to see shocked faces.

‘Oh? What is it?’ I ask.

They all look at each other and Soryu, the mobster and Eisuke’s childhood friend (for which I am incredibly grateful for), speaks up.

‘It’s just… you did the exact same thing that Eisuke does.’

‘Oh?’ I ask.

‘Yeah, it’s like seeing Eisuke’s older self or something. Like we’ve gone into the future and Eisuke aged.’ Ota says this with such surprise that I laugh out loud.

‘See! Now it looks like Eisuke’s laughing!’ The young boy points and the detective, Mamoru Kishi, puts out his cigarette.

‘It almost looks creepy.’ He mumbles.

‘I think Eiji looks wonderful laughing!’ Mitsunari Baba says.

‘Thank you Mitsunari. May I ask a favour of you all?’ I ask. They all look at each other briefly before agreeing.

‘From what I can tell, Eisuke has been having trouble and I believe you all would be able to help me in securing this contract.’ I say, looking at each individual in the room.

‘As Eisuke’s father, I’m sure you are just as cunning as he is. I’m in!’ Mitsunari says.

‘Yeah, this’ll be interesting. More blackmail material to use on Eisuke!’ Kisaki agrees; I can tell I’m giving a disapproving look because he clamps his mouth shut.

‘I don’t agree with Ota but I will help Eisuke and his family whenever he needs my support.’ Soryu Oh says, giving me a nod.

‘Man, this is a pain but fine. Whatever.’ Kishi complains.

‘Mamo, we all know you would be the first to come to Eisuke’s rescue.’ Mitsunari teases.

‘Shut up! I would not!’

‘I hope you all continue to work with Eisuke. As a father, it makes me happy to see Eisuke’s friends be so loyal to him.’ I say.

‘Sadly, Boss doesn’t see us as friends.’

‘Neither does Soryu or Kishi.’

‘Only you think we’re all friends Baba.’

‘Damn I’m so tired.’

‘Haha!’ I chuckle upon the realisation that my son has surrounded himself with such colourful characters. I am truly grateful to them for sticking by Eisuke’s side.

·       (EISUKE’S POV)

After a few days, I finally recover enough of my energy to come downstairs. And what I see is shocking.

‘Guys! Eiji and I are both old! Eiji’s older than me!’ I hear Baba shriek out more nonsense.

‘Yeah, but he has a better chance at women than you do. I mean look at him! Married with two kids and a successful business.’

‘Are talking about right now?! Cause he ain’t any of that anymore.’ I hear Soryu sigh at the noise Ota, Baba and Mamoru make. But what is so strange, is seeing my own father at the centre of attention.

‘My love life started and ended with my wife. Now, my only love are for my children.’ Eiji says wholeheartedly.

‘Eisuke is lucky to have a loving father.’ Soryu says. In fact, they’re all drinking in the lounge. Without me.

‘What is going on here?’ I demand, nearly stomping down the stairs in frustration.

‘Hey Eisuke! Are you feeling better?’ Ota asks.

‘I’m fine. Answer my question.’ I demand again.

‘Eiji asked us to help you with your problem. And we’ve successfully helped him get a contract ready for you! How amazing is that!?’ Baba says, thrusting a glass of champagne in my face.

‘Eiji. What did you do?’ I go to him, sitting on the couch.

‘I did what I should have done a long time ago. Eisuke, know that you are surrounded by people who love you and care about you. I’ve kept the contract on your office desk.’ He looks at the others.

‘Thank you all for having me here. I feel like a young man again!’ He laughs.

‘Anytime Eiji!’ Baba says.

‘Can we replace Baba with Eiji instead?’ Ota asks.

‘No!’

I can’t believe my own father has been in these clown’s company and actually enjoyed it. What has been happening in my absence?!

And what did he say? I’m surrounded by people who love me? I look at their joyful faces and wonder how such extreme personalities came together. We all had our own reasons for needing the auctions. But that’s all changed. We all crave the thrill it gives us.

But Vivian will always be the one who satisfies all my cravings, physically and emotionally. I look over at her smiling face as she hugs Eiji and Yukari goodbye.

[vroenis]

Part 2

This is part 1.

Can you tell how tired I was getting by the end? This is life under meds, but given the other benefits (I think?), I’ll take it for now.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a whole lot I was thinking about and it’s stuff I want to say given I said a lot, but didn’t cover this stuff. I’m still happy with part 1, I think that’s just how I write, moving from subject to subject more or less organically and it does show me to more unstructured even if there is a vague plan for how I want the piece to go.

Anyway let’s get going.

As always, mild spoilers for well, everything. If you haven’t seen this stuff and are mildly interested in watching them then ah, you may have a lot of catching up to do. I don’t think I’ll drop any real hard spoilers for anything but you never know.

Ghost In The Shell is an Outsider story

There are whole stacks of lore you could dive into with Stand Alone Complex in particular, with Motoko having been in an aircraft accident and getting her first shell (cyber-body) at a very early age, what that means, the thing with Kuze (avoiding spoilers here), and the extended cast - not that Paz, Boma and even Ishikawa get a whole lot of time anyway - but it’s not really that important.

Looking at just Mamoru Oshii’s 1995 film, and even more-so his 2004 film Innocence (not really a sequel but usually regarded as such), the narratives cast the characters very much as Outsiders. In the first film, Section 9 is already at odds with the government in general and while it’s subtle, Aramaki as a department head is certainly different from his contemporaries, even if we don’t see much of it - again, so much more of this in Stand Alone Complex. Motoko’s early conversation with Togusa in the first film is probably the most telling as far as playing it loud. She speaks in pragmatic terms to why he’s there, but this is a precursor to what will ultimately transpire for herself at the conclusion of the film, something very intentionally written into the film. Batou is also an Outsider in more ways than one, not only in the role he plays in the department but in the very clear personal boundary between him and Motoko. There are boundaries between Batou and everyone and they become more apparent in the second film. Togusa is easy pickings so I’ll leave him alone, suffice to say if the film needs one, he’s the audience’s window of ignorance which is why he’s discarded so willingly half way in. He gets his time in the spotlight in Stand Alone Complex and it’s pretty amazing.

As for Motoko... I admit it is difficult separating my understanding of her character from Stand Alone Complex and attempting to just isolate what’s shown of her in the first film but I’ll try.

I mentioned the film’s centrepiece montage in my previous journal, in which we might say Motoko is the centrepiece but if so, she probably shares it with the city itself, and I feel much more is being said about the two together rather than separated simultaneously. This would be one of the first indications of Motoko’s sense of identity, of otherness, isolation, questioning. Again the scene that plays it most loud would be diving on the boat and her speech to Batou. There are other moments tho; single frames of her face, looks, movements that are lingered on, I feel like Oshii is constantly telling us about her and what she’s going to do, but more important than that, why she’s going to do it and how she feels.

Ghost in the Shell is a film about great emotion, and not like I’d know because it’s been a long time since I’ve looked into the discourse around it, but I suspect no-one really talks about it as a film about feelings.

I realise these days I talk more and more about moods and art being mood pieces. I labelled my Instagram account as being “A catalogue of moods” and I’m very fond of the use of the word in vernacular. It might seem flippant but it’s immensely empowered, especially for me as an individual when I understand my moods and can translate them into, via and thru art. I do appreciate many struggle with Oshii’s cinematic language as it can appear cold and detached and that’s fine, but it’s anything but for me - it’s immensely emotionally charged, it just appears differently to what audiences are perhaps accustomed to seeing. It’s a different language that perhaps takes time to learn, but it’s all there.

This couldn’t become more evident than in Innocence (the Ghost in the Shell 2 moniker I think was a western addendum). Batou takes centre stage and is  immediately presented as bluntly as possible as an Outsider, reaffirmed later by Aramaki who also cements Togusa’s position in limbo.

I should pause and say that within the GitS canon, I feel Togusa is definitely embraced by Section 9, so he’s not wholly an Outsider to the department, but for obvious reasons, he doesn’t fully share all of their daily or philosophical concerns - hence not wholly. He would also definitely be an Outsider to most other members of the force after joining Section 9, but unfortunately I’m not here to love Togusa, poor guy - I feel like he’s always a bit unloved. Someone write a giant essay in service to his greatness. He actually is great.

But I adore Batou in Innocence. I love his story, his struggle, his emotion. I love how present Motoko is without ever appearing on screen and then when she does, the impact she has on everything, especially with the lines she delivers, one of which I quoted to open the last journal. Batou is in many ways a shadow of what Motoko was and is/has become, just in physical form, mirroring her in a real world manifestation with the natural physical limitations that comes with.

For some reason I feel like I need to inject a comment about Batou putting the jacket/vest on Motoko’s body. I don’t know if people perceive this as an act of masculine modesty but it’s not how I read it. I did stumble on this action for years but as I began to interpret the films as Outsider stories, I realised that he does this as an act of inclusion, and that Motoko consents, permits him to and doesn’t immediately react with violence or technological recourse we know she is well capable of, indicates it’s mutual. Their inclusion isn’t just about the boundaries of the Section 9 department but extends beyond that, an inner circle that may only contain the two of them - inside which there are still boundaries between them Batou can never cross. Those boundaries become infinitely more apparent after the final events of the first film, and the second film effectively is all about how he feels about them. He is an ultimate Outsider, but so is Motoko in the state she now is in.

Section 9 is a department of stray dogs. Individuals who haven’t quite fit in where they belong, and found belonging with one another. Then, after a time, one of them moves on - at the conclusion of the first film, and then another feels an almost permanent and ultimate sense of separation - more or less the duration of the second film.

Ghost in the Shell isn’t about technology and sentience and hacking and corporations at all. It’s about loneliness and belonging and acceptance and affection. It’s about how that feels.

I’m Not Sure Why People Struggle With David Lynch Films

I need to stop talking about anime. Honestly I looked at the list at the start of the last journal and thought hell yea Sky Crawlers, Jin-Roh, Haibane Renmei and Lain let’s unpack some shit! but honestly I’ll run out of time and I should really draw from a variety of mediums and sources.

OK I’m not being facetious when I say Lynch’s films are fairly straight-forward narrative-wise. Again, it’s hard for me to position myself in a place where I’m not into the stuff I’m into and maybe that’s what gives me the cinematic language familiarity to parse them but that just sounds like wanker bullshit to me. I don’t mind if folks don’t like Lynch films, that’s fine. But they aren’t difficult.

So in the context of everything else, even on that short list on the last journal, plus how I keep trying to shift the discussion of works from the pragmatic reading of them to an emotional reading of them from a mood perspective, I feel as tho the same process can be applied to Lynch. So much about his films are about how they make you feel, or I’ll say - how they make *me* feel. It might be grandiose to assume I’m feeling the correct emotion, that these are the moods that David Lynch himself is attempting to create and evoke and thus, I am interpreting them correctly but hey - I enjoy the hell out of the films, feel I understand them and watch them over and over again so that’s all I’m basing it on.

That’s not to say there are things I dismiss as meaningless or that I don’t understand in his films, it’s just that I don’t have to parse them immediately at first watch and perhaps that’s the audience’s problem. I don’t know if reverse-diagnosis is appropriate but looking at how much hand-holding there is in other directors’ films might be just as telling. I mean I saw Nolan’s Tenet and was about the least confusing thing I’d ever seen in my life but apparently *that* confused people, and you know hey that’s fair I guess, but I mean Nolan did a whooooole lot of audience hand-holding in that film, I mean, the dialogue was terrible. There was so much unnecessary exposition, which I generally find in all of his films, so if an audience can’t follow that then OK sure, Lynch is going to be a problem.

The thing is popcorn cinema is totally OK. I watch it. I really love it, I’ve written about it before, it’s good Industry. There’s a lot of great creativity in popular cinema, I don’t at all think poorly of it and I love seeing a really well produced, Hollywood picture... but I guess if that’s all you consume, and I guess if folks’ short-format episodic media (aka series - think Netflix, HVO etc.) is more or less to the same standard, then it begins to make sense that anything outside of that isn’t going to make sense.

Long story short - Lynch films tell simple stories where the feeling of the film is as important as the narrative of the film. To understand the story, you have to understand the feeling, and vice-versa.

Surprise surprise, it turns out independent and deemed “fringe” film-makers... aka Outsiders... make films about Outsiders.

Now I wouldn’t know if any of the Marvel films thematically are about Outsiders or Outsider culture, they probably are and very loudly at that, but the reason I’ve never included one in my catalogue of moods is they all read the same way. Not only are Marvel films mostly indistinct from one other to me, they’re also mostly indistinct from much of popular culture in general. That doesn’t make them bad, some of them still have some pretty awesome stunts, visfx, even parts of the narratives, funny jokes etc. in them, but on the whole they’re not useful to me as things I deem truly valuable in the long-term.

It’s OK, I’m not at all going to lament the proliferation of Marvel films, a lot of them have been pretty cool and they keep people in work. Meow meow meow “the death of cinema” mate, sure - I find it more difficult to find the sorts of films I like but that’s always been the case. Humans will do what they do, it’s not a read on cinema, it’s about being an Outsider and what that’s all about. True, maybe weird shit like Lynch and Noe might be more difficult to make, but the weird-indie corner was also dominated by white men and that needs to change, so who knows what the future holds.

Can you detect the point at which I took my meds and started getting tired?

Ghost in the Shell // Innocence // What We Want // What We’re Left With

Growing up as an Outsider, I feel as tho the first Ghost in the Shell film carries the weight of isolation, questions of identity and belonging, ultimately of acceptance, empowerment and liberation. Then Innocence brings to bear very similar moods but states that things may not necessarily change for the better, they simply change state. I love that in both narratives, the main texts of hacking or corrupt corporations, crime etc. are the least common denominators and barely relevant to heart of the films. I think about the theme of icons in Innocence, icons operatively being the dolls throughout the film, and the final image of Togusa’s daughter’s gift. As humans we assume we’re to take the position of biological humanity as representative of sentience, taking moral priority over all other beings. Earlier in the film we think Togusa is in limbo, but  at the conclusion Motoko asks the question, or perhaps states that perhaps we’re all in limbo together.

I think that’s a significant part of what growing up as and being an Outsider is like, what it feels like. Christians have this saying about “living in the world but not of the world” (derived from a bible verse) and honestly I don’t think they know what it means because they just operate like a cult, but I think queers and folks with long term mental health conditions have a better idea. We are pushed out to the fringes of our social groups from an early age, long before we know or understand what’s different about us. Our peers and the adults around us do this to us because their social behaviours are so well hard-coded, even they may not even know precisely what’s different about us, they just do - and they’re right. We are different. And they don’t accept us.

Maybe I am starting to get a little more upset that weird/different art is becoming more difficult to fund and make, because it’s for us, for me. It speaks to me. You already have so much, and representation and inclusion is so important. I don’t just need queer cinema, I need weird cinema, I need moods. I need quiet, introspective, pensive, reflective, Outsider moods.

I still feel like an Outsider. I have a few people who understand more about me, but I don’t think I have a place, not in a real sense. I have never felt that. Art is one of the few places I feel any connection with anything, and connecting with people is a very odd thing to consider - honestly, I actually would really like to connect with people but the unique combination of being queer *and* autistic comorbid with bipolar makes it really tough, more difficult the older I get. And now all you want to do is fund Marvel movies. I can’t feed off of that.

I’m getting tired, I’m not making any sense. It’s time for bed.

[sazzafraz]

dropped a cup of coffee on myself at breakfast lets gooo

nodus tollens is my favourite chapter its not even close

like i actually LIKED writing it. i like writing in general but its about being someone represented with all the scary sword cards in tarot readings not actual fun. still annoyed i didn’t think of anything better than fucking HEMMINGWAY

A year and a half into working for Giri and Sasuke is sitting cross legged on top of a boulder looking out at a clear blue sky. They’re sitting by the edge of a huge cliff in Fire Country resting between assassinating some small time village leader and their next mission which promises to be heavy on full contact fighting. The sun is dipping towards the horizon, warm air ruffling their hair. Yumi is trying to throw Hiki off the cliff into the lake below, Haru is defleaing his dog and Sasuke is debating his next move in the long distance tactical game he’s playing with Juugo and Karin. It’s an Uzushio classic, like shogi but the board is made of three interlocked spirals and the movements of the pieces are based on the tides. Karin is slaughtering him. 

fun fact: literally started designing that uzushio game because i’m a psychopath. it’s also the first of three references, two in the same chapter, of sasuke and his teams, and then one at the end where everyone gets together. to make fun of sasuke. as they should. 

  There are seven graves by the edge of the sea with a bright blooming flowers planted in the centre spilling over the cliff. Tall markers stand as high as three metres in the air wreathed with ribbons in the colours of dawn and day... Sasuke spares a look back as he enters and sees those graves and flowers. The flowers have colonised the side of the cliff, growing strong and sure halfway down the rocks, slipping into crevices and tangling around each other as they race towards the ocean. Huge blooms of colour, bright reds, light pinks and creamy yellows are knocked about by the waves crashing against the cliff.      

if fuyuki even knew how much this colours sasukes opinion of her she’d beat the shit out of him. i think this was the second bit i wrote for her, after a few pieces of her and itachi. actually if she knew how much both of them are coloured by knowing her past she’d commit a crime. its pretty apparent to sasuke that these are memorials to children/those that died young and unfair. how would he know haha. i always intended the hashira and the uchiha as parallels. i think the lack of depth given to other clans sucks, especially when they have literally a thousand years of interaction. the only other one we have are the hyuuga which might have been an intended one but like. i’ve never bought it. 

anyway, back to sasuke. dude loves kids. he doesn’t figure it out until he has nine of ‘em, but he has a view of children that’s incredibly sincere. i pretty much decided that on my own cause: a) its funny, b) he was fucking SWEET as a kid and i’ll kill you before i let you tell me that kid went away, c) he’s from a huge close knit family/community and liking kids is the only way to get through that,

oh. also fuyuki does cotton on to his emotional compromise and IMMEDIATELY lies so he likes her more. morals who?

“It seems,” Fuyuki says into the silence, “that Sunagakure has decided we have a problem. I sent Mamoru as a goodwill ambassador to Wind a few months ago. It went well, and as Suna is a largely neutral player in most conflicts I did not see the problem in allowing a small ambassadorial group into Oto to further the relationship. At the fourth meeting one of the Suna delegation proved themselves to be a puppet and assassinated Mamoru. They were in the process of trying to loot us when they were killed.”

haha oh my god gaara fucks himself so hard here. we’re gonna talk about it. 

Now it’s leaving time and Sasuke is walking fast downtown, faces passing him as he’s bound for home base.

only two people ever commented on this. vip behaviour. 

Shikamaru raises a hand and waves.

Sasuke waves back.

Shikamaru looks at him expectantly across the crowd. Distantly Sasuke notes that he’s the taller of the two. Head’s bob and weave around the marketplace, someone drops an avocado which is swept up a child and her friends, the scent of cooking spices drift down from the top of one of the buildings. Sasuke and Shikamaru stare at eachother.

i never wrote the short for this but this is shikamaru’s nightmare scenario. finding sasuke when naruto is not with you is the k12′s personal hell. because konoha and giri are tentative allies it would be poaching to bring him back and thats something people still take seriously. shikamaru goes and gets FUCKED UP so no one trusts his report and he can claim that it was ONLY MAYBE THE PRETTIEST MAN IN THE FLEA MARKET. naruto finds out like a decade later and is extremely pissed even if he gets it. 

It’s a tale as old as the dust of the desert or the mountains that divide the nations. There is a boy who loses something. His honour, a cow, a sword. He has to leave his home to find it. He has to grow strong enough to do what has to be done. In the Son of Nobody the titular Son has to journey to the city to meet the princess and while he is away his family is murdered by a group of wandering bandits. Along the way he meets a beggar girl, the princess in disguise, and he allows her to tag along. There are many twists and turns, the Son becomes a noble shinobi protecting the princess and falls in love with the beggar. He finds the bandits that destroyed his home and avenges his family. But! Disaster strikes! The samurai have been told a lie about the princess and feel that their honour must be avenged. A group sneak into the princess’ room one night and defile her. One of the samurai is late to the scene and feeling so sick and ashamed of their actions kills them and ignites a real war between samurai and ninja. The disgraced samurai takes his own life in front of the princess as appeasement. When this doesn’t work the Son goes on to win the war and marry the girl.

this is just hatake sakumo. some creative liberty but its just the story of how he died embellished. i think some shinobi stories filter out and become like folk tales? like we’re gonna get to it. but there's no way they can have that kind of presence and no cultural impact. 

‘Heart, liver, eyes ’ Kabuto says when he’s done, ‘and put the rest in the garbage.’

for sensible reasons kabuto is the scary one. 

. Illuminated in the light of the lone flickering candle, bundled in odd cloth and grime, Kabuto looks faceless and formless. His skin has no color, his hair is limp, his eyes are turned completely inward searching himself for an some answer, some lodestone for the next leg of his journey. He looks like an orphaned version of himself. Sasuke has a brief moment of complete self-awareness. He stands above himself and looks down at the length of his hair, the uneven tan on his hands. His own eyes look at his boots, his non-descript travelling coat, the way he is never carrying more than enough money to carry him to the next town. He recognises nothing original, nothing remarkable. He’s as interchangeable as any soldier capable of swapping hands at a moment's notice. Many tools, many masks, many uses. He realises that that shifting formlessness is as much a part of him as his burning rage. It forms him just as fully.

i remember having a moment like this and it was so shocking it took me years to write about it. this nearly got cut, even though i now think its important. becoming ‘just a knife’ is important to sasuke’s development towards being just a guy. relating to kabuto is so personally disturbing that its sort of his turn towards leaving giri. kabuto actually disgusts him. unlike orochimaru.

“We called her the Fruit Eater after the foul seeds she planted in others which grew into giant poisonous fruit trees. When they’d plundered and destroyed the world enough for her foul tastes she’d eat the fruit from the trees and crush them to bone and blood under her feet. Her own children plucked out her organs one by one and cut them up into pieces. What they couldn’t eat they threw to the animals who turned into nine ravenous demons. They brought the demons together and sealed them into the form of a beautiful princess who was coveted by all.”

goddamn space aliens. i hate it less than most. i think i was still deciding if they’d show up at the end. either way i thought i’d just put them in in case i did. again, there SHOULD be a cultural footprint. 

The problem is that the Uchiha are predisposed to have thick hair and the main branch, the one that descends directly from Madara’s betrayed brother Izuna, comes with a tendency for...unruliness that Sasuke has gotten threefold. At this length it seems to be largely growing up and out, gravity be damned.

aww my loving rendition of his stupid duck butt. i have unruly hair so his maintenance is essentially mine. its such a distinctive thing i think people should take more advantage of. i wrote in crashing tides that he’s just an awful fashionista and i think that holds true. he tries new hair oils ALL THE TIME. 

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Sailor Moon episode 38 was super good! Skiing episode as seen from the preview, and everyone indeed looked super cute in their various winter-y outfits. This episode almost entirely followed Usagi and Rei, and there were a lot of super good moments. In particular, Rei kind of “giving up” on pursuing a relationship with Mamoru, so that Usagi can have him, no hard feelings at all. That Rei does so after having actually gone on dates with Mamoru is what makes it genuinely meaningful, this is kind of a big deal for Rei, but it reinforces their friendship and that’s great. Also Tuxedo Mask is briefly returned to the good side with the good old classic “remember who you are and who you love” talk, but I say briefly because I suppose Kunzite’s brainwashing is a bit more effective than that. Which is good, Kunzite hasn’t really shone as much as, say, Zoisite, in his brief time as I suppose main villain, so it’s neat that he’s still at least somewhat effective.

Since I missed an episode yesterday, I watched 2 episodes today, and episode 39 was also pretty solid. This time we’re at an ice skating arena, weird how both of the last 2 episodes have been about winter sports. Everyone’s outfits are super cute though, Ami-chan especially looks wonderful. It kinda seemed like Makoto would be really prominent in this episode, which, following an episode focused on Rei, led me to believe we’d see a series of episodes that kinda highlight a particular girl before the finale, since you know we’ve only got 7 episodes left before R, but actually, Makoto wasn’t really as important this episode as Rei was in the last, and the preview for next episode suggests a hot spring episode with Usagi’s family being super relevant, so I guess my thought was wrong. That’s fine though, the episode was still pretty fun. Makoto’s of course the big strong one of the group but it’s nice that she can still be graceful and elegant in her ice skating. Also Tuxedo Mask’s excuses for saving Sailor Moon from youma despite working against her anyway are getting weaker and weaker, this time he saves her because the youma’s methods got Makoto hurt, and he doesn’t know she’s Jupiter so assumes an innocent’s gotten involved. Idk it seems like undoing his brainwashing for even a moment in the last episode is kind of leaving an impact on him. That or he just dislikes Kunzite more than we can realise. I haven’t mentioned this yet but his outfit when he’s just Endymion chilling in the Dark Kingdom with the gang is really cool.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for today.

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Sailor Moon The Super Live Report - August 31st (first performance, heart team)

Place: Aiia Theatre Placement: Row 10, Seat 42 (middle, far right)

First, I swore I wasn’t going to buy merch and am SO glad they had so little on offer ;; I bought the pamphlet (which is basically a double sided poster, one of the main image and the other side being info with pics of the different teams) and the light stick.

Second, the show isn’t sold out. Sure, it started a little early (7pm) but it was a Friday night and opening night of a mega popular franchise? Strange for it not to have been sold out, especially since the theatre isn’t that big. (For reference, I was in row 10, seat 42, and the seat next to me was empty, as were others around me). There have been a lot of events and new merch recently though, so I can understand.

They’re also still selling tickets at the door, and are giving out freebies. Little bookmark things of the Inner Senshi with manga art (one of each Senshi, randomly given). They’re quite nice! Another enticement is different events happening after each performance. On opening night they randomly selected about twenty people to have photos with the cast. There is also a high five event on other nights, and it looks like they give out goods on other nights.

The show is VERY dialogue light. As in, there is maybe five minutes worth of dialogue the entire show (not including the live performance part). And that’s incredibly generous. This is understandable – this show is only doing two showings in France, so the effort to translate would be a lot. It’s not cost effective. The audience also more than likely knows the story. The story is the first arc, hugely condensed. I think it worked quite well without a whole lot of dialogue. The cast had to work that much harder on facial expressions and their body language to make up for not speaking.

The show is 80 minutes long. There is no interval. After the play part, there is a song part.

Now, onto the show!

We start off with Queen Beryl and her minions. She’s controlling them and their dancing. Like, SeraMyu is great and I love it, but there is still part of it that’s stuck in years gone by. This is very modern. I don’t really know or care who Takahiro is, but he did a good job! The music and dance throughout the performance is really good! It’s very modern. Perhaps because it was opening night, sometimes the music felt too loud. Not in a good way, but in a it sometimes makes the cast hard to hear way.

Anyway, they’re dancing, kinda like cool zombies? The scenery changes on a screen behind them, showing the battle for earth. Kunzite appears and shows off his sword before taking command of the troops. Unfortunately, the sword was almost dropped… We see a screen of Usagi running – it’s kinda clumsy and ugly, but it reminds me of the live action show, which I’m very fond of, so I can’t be too harsh on it. Beryl then attacks this screen, and we come to earth, present time.

Usagi yells about being late and runs through the audience. Her entrance is GORGEOUS! Why? She’s got glitter in her school bag, so as she runs, glitter is flying everywhere. It’s super shojou and anime. Very simple and cheap, but literally everyone was smiling. I feel bad for the staff who had to clean it up though haha

She stumbles on stage and drops her brooch, and keeps going. Mamoru picks it up, teases her and as she grabs it, they start to remember their old lives. Of course, that’s weird and Usagi’s late, so she grabs her brooch and goes. They part, but then stop, turn to look at each other, and are about to go back to each other when the music starts and sends them on their way. An instrumental version of Moonlight Densetsu plays. As it plays, it shows the characters and gives their names – interestingly, the names are Romanised instead of being in katakana, and the images shown are manga panels. It makes sense not to use the live images, as there are three teams, but I wonder why they choose manga over anime. I honestly think it was a great choice though.

We get a brief scene of Sailor Moon fighting a monster. She’s dodging and crying, but she also fights back. She also cheers for herself when she gets a good hit in, which is super cute. Makes her a very human character. Tuxedo Mask does save her and gives her a chance to fight back, and she runs off after him.

It’s time for school! Miss Haruna makes her appearance~ Honestly her look is iconic (the pink suit) and I love that they brought her back. The students do a dance as they start their daily routine and test results are returned. It’s pretty cute, though too long for me to care about. Usagi rushes in, gets scolded, realises she doesn’t have her textbook, is scolded again, isn’t able to share with her friends, steals Haruna’s book, and joins in on the dance while doing all of this.

Of course, things are going fine until everyone is suddenly infected with Dark Energy (a la Kunzite lurking in the corner). Cue zombie dancing again. This, again, went on slightly too long. It wasn’t particularly good, and the costumes were a little tacky – essentially the stage was mostly dark and certain parts of the zombies/infected people lit up (glow in the dark socks and so on). Usgai basically runs around screaming for a while until Tuxedo Mask comes to save her. Understandable – she doesn’t want to hurt her friends or transform in front of everyone.

Unfortunately, Tuxedo Mask dropped their cane and stepped on it, almost falling. She caught herself really well, so props to the actress there. (I believe it was this scene – could have been the arcade scene)

She fawns over Tuxedo Mask again and after the day is saved, class is over. Everyone leaves as Usagi daydreams with these ridiculous heart eyes. A scene that reminded me of the theme park episode from the 90’s anime – they have a sort of carousel thing going on, and it’s very fairy tale like. It was very nostalgic to see it and remember the old anime.

Afterwards she meets up with everyone who scolds her for being late. They sing about how they met – a very cute and sweet song. Then suddenly we’re in Harajuku!

This part is sort of odd if you live in Japan. Since this production was made for showing Japanese culture abroad, for the Japanese audience, this didn’t have a lot of meaning for the home audience. It was also horribly outdated. The gothic Lolita outfits were ugly and super outdated, and I don’t really associate Harajuku with gothic Lolita. Nowadays it’s a variety of different looks and it would have been super nice to see a variety of styles shown, as well as styles that are from this decade ;; The outfits that the Senshi changed into were ugly clown like outfits and I hate them too.

However, it was a nice attempt in showing off a variety of Japanese things. For example, the girls do a bit of traditional dance (fitting for Bon Odori at this time of year) and also eat fairy floss (cotton candy) and crepes that Harajuku is famous for (at least on Instagram ;p). They also have the dancing with the light sticks, which… isn’t a Harajuku thing ;; More of an Akiba thing, but it’ll slide!

Usagi is separated from the group and ends up the arcade. Mamoru teases her for being so bad, and plays himself. He gets a high score and they high five, before they both remember they’re meant to hate each other. Kunzite is in a mascot outfit, shakes his bottom at Usagi who touches it and shows her a new game to play. I’m… not sure why this was necessary? I mean, it’s low key great, and bizarre, especially because Kunzite initiates it? I just… don’t understand it…

Mamoru is sucked into the Sailor V game, and keeps getting beaten up because Usagi sucks so much. He’s trying to get her attention but she’s too focussed on trying to win ;; She gets better in the second round and Tux is pleasantly surprised. He then promptly dies ;;; On her third attempt, Kunzite throws her into the game too.

The Senshi appear to fight. Their introduction song is honestly a fave of mine. I believe it (and all of the songs) are remixes of old songs (both anime and musical). If I find out which ones they are I’ll edit this post (I currently don’t have internet at home..). This scene is pretty good. Unlike some of the other dance scenes which drag, this scene, through song, tells about the characters and their powers.

Tuxedo Mask is taken away, and everyone is unsure of how to comfort Sailor Moon. I think it’s fitting that Venus is about to step in, but Mercury ends up talking to her first. And by talking, I mean singing Otome Policy. A lot of the performances are predictable in that they go by the order of which the Senshi appeared, so it would have been nice to have that shaken up a bit, but it’s not that big of a deal.

In Beryl’s world, Tuxedo Mask is possessed. Beryl is very pleased and they start to tango. The actress is wonderful – Tux is possessed, but isn’t fully under Beryl’s influence, so there’s point he tries to break free or doesn’t follow along. This was pretty believable! Beryl, on the other hand, is unconcerned – she’s in control and enjoying having the man she wants with her. Meanwhile, Kunzite lurks in the corner.

They teleport to Beryl’s world where they fight Kunzite and his creepy zombies. Honestly if someone aggressively danced their way at me I’d be terrified lol! Kunzite is super strong, and takes down all of the Senshi. Venus gets her sword and fights Kunzite, but they both remember their past. Beryl isn’t impressed and he ends up dead.

This scene was really touching. I felt a lot for her. They show Kunzite’s soul floating away, and her following it briefly, trying to catch it. She realises it’s no use. Everyone goes to comfort her, even though they don’t particularly know what’s going on.

They then have to fight monsters and Mask. Honestly, everyone except Moon and Venus should have been stronger than they were. Venus just got an unwelcomed flashback from her past life and lost her former boyfriend, so it’s understandable when she fails. Moon is fighting the love of her life. Everyone else felt a bit weak.

The Senshi end up dying, and Beryl kills Mask when he responds to Usagi.

Usagi is left with Beryl, and kind of… interpretative dances her feelings out? The start is a little long and messy, but as she starts to go from no confidence, I’ve lost everything, why try?, to I have to do this, I can do this… it’s amazing. She’s taking all of Beryl’s hits and throwing them off and is the strong Sailor Moon we all love.

Beryl tries to suck her up with her darkness, and Sailor Moon walks straight in. She comes back out with her new Moon Stick, glowing brightly. She beats Beryl and dies? But Tuxedo Mask brings her back with a kiss. The other Senshi return as well.

Unfortunately, Mask accidentally turned the Moon Stick back on ;;; I don’t think it really need to be turned off in the first place. (Especially because it looks very ugly and cheap turned off – it’s also silver, when I think pink would be better suited) But that marks the end of all the obvious mistakes. For a first try, it isn’t so bad! I think they could have been fixed easily, with perhaps a bit of design done differently.

From here, there are some quick bows before the song portion.

Song part When it comes to singing, everyone was really good. However, Sailor Venus (Sena) stood out. Perhaps I’m a little bit biased, as Sena is the reason I chose this team over the others, but still. The others faltered a bit at times, or their mics weren’t properly in position, or their voices weren’t loud enough. Sena wasn’t perfect, but out of everyone, her voice was the clearest and most confident.

The songs were all really good choices. There were a few repeats of what was already in the show, most notably Otome Policy in a more pop version rather than the piano version from earlier.

Of course, I’m incredibly biased, but the best song was La Solider~ It’s honestly one of my favourite songs and I’m so so so glad they played it!

They left the stage to come back briefly for a few more songs. In between some of the songs were the dancers getting a bit of stage time, which was nice. Those girls do some really cool stuff, so it’s nice for them to get their dues.

Of course, everything ended with Moonlight Densetsu. Most the characters got solo or duet lines. This is the part where they ran around the audience, giving high fives. I was so close, yet so far T.T Buuuuut Sailor Venus blew me a kiss, so nothing else really matters haha~

We all got a little gift (clear bookmark?) and I got Moon. Some people in the audience were allowed to take pictures with the members. About twenty people I think? How lucky! I waited around with other fans to try and see the actresses as they left, but gave up in the end. It was a good night, and I’m really glad I went!

Summary Enjoyable: 5/5 Worth the ticket price: 5/5 Re-watchable: 4/5 If this was sold on dvd, would I buy it: 3.5/5

[floraone]

I want you to write all the kisses! But especially 29, 48 and 50!

50 is coming up, 48 is already posted, and here's 29 :)

-

A Kiss As A Promise

-

The rain was beating against the window in distracting rhythms and Usagi kept turning in Mamoru's bed.

Sleep was something comforting in her life. One of her bestestest of friends. Always easy. But tonight sleep wouldn't come.

Here and there the moon slipped between the heavy rain clouds, illuminating her in a way that felt like it sought her out. Mamoru grunted when she shifted again, lifted one sleep-heavy arm, and - in gruff, annoyed and sleepy movements - slapped it across her tummy and drew her close to him and pin her down all at the same time.

His skin was soft and warm and puffy and a little sticky from the humidity that came with rainy season and a summer night. He grunted again when she turned under his arm and adjusted the thin sheet that covered her fully and him only half. She pressed a kiss to his bopping Adam's apple, burrowing her face in the crook of his neck, and he smacked his lips in his disturbed sleep and grunted again.

"Mamo-chan?" she whispered as low as the pitter-patter of the rain, small and puffy against his throat.

No reaction.

"Mamo-chan?" she tried again. "Are you awake?"

Stupid question. Of course he wasn't. She sighed again and snaked an arm around his warm waist and beneath the hem of the loose tank top he wore to sleep, and along the hem of his small cotton boxer briefs.

Her hands were cooler from the air conditioning and much cooler than his heated skin, and he more or less unconsciously leaned  into her touch and sighed.

She trailed her hand further up the inside of his shirt and his arms twitched and drew her just a little closer.

"Hmmmm," he half grunted, half sighed, voice deep and hoarse and scratchy, shifting his cheek against her hair, and she felt the noise rumble through his throat with her ear and mouth pressed against the crook of his neck.

"Mamo-chan?" she tried once more, whispering against his skin.

This time, he moved with a deep inhale, twisting his warm, naked thighs half into the sheets and half against her own legs as he stretched.

"Mhh-hmmm?" he grunted, thick with sleep.

She twisted her fingers into his tank top from the inside, pulling just a little, and moved her head just that little bit out of the crook of his neck and onto the shared pillow, talking to his chin. "Do you ever worry?" she whispered.

He smacked his lips again, breathing deep. Eyes closed, his voice came slow and clumsy and heavy. "'Bout what?" he managed.

She sighed deeply and twisted his shirt a little further, her fist brushing against the sweat-cooled skin just above the small of his back.

"About... about the future?"

She worried her lip and it must have carried in her tone, because his eyes blinked open sleepily and he shifted his cheek on the pillow to look at her drowsily.

He moved his chin down and bopped his nose against hers in sleepy challenge.

"What do you mean?" he rasped. His voice wasn't quite awake, either. His eyes had trouble staying open, drooping heavily even as his hand slipped down to push at her butt to drag her closer.

She let herself get pulled against him fully and slipped her thighs back against his. The thin T shirt of his that she wore as a night shirt had ridden up to her belly, and his hand stroked sleepily up the side of it,  palm flat on her skin, stretching out as he stretched again and exhaled deeply.

"I'm... " she started, then frowned, and started again. This was hard to put into words -  something that was all feeling. "If it comes the way we saw it and at the same time THAT it comes the way we saw it?"

Yeah, that made no sense to anyone not in her head.

"The future, I mean."

But his eyes blinked open, now more awake, and he shifted onto his elbow, throwing her a frown of his own.

She scrunched up her nose, shook her head, and pushed at his elbow. "This is stupid. Go back to sleep."

His frown deepened, hair falling insistently  into his eyes. "Usa..."

Her lips fell into a pout and she exhaled through her nose.

When he lowered his elbow back onto the pillow and pillowed his cheek against it, but didn't close his eyes and didn't erase the frown from them, she sighed and tried to put it into words again. A little better this time, maybe.

She untangled her hand from the back of his shirt and smoothed it against his side, only a shadow visible that moved the fabric from inside his tank top. He ignored it completely, heavy-lidded eyes fixed on her in expectation.

Her thumb found the small raised birthmark on his side blindly, and stroked up and down across it.

"You wouldn't even give me cactus-duty when you were on your summer job last month, Mamo-chan," she finally spoke, low and carefully. "You went out of your way to get all your plants to Mako-chan, down to the cactus, even though I have a key."

She didn't say it in an accusing tone. More matter of fact. And it seemed to confuse him. His brow creased into the small bundle of wrinkled skin that pooled between his eyebrows, but he didn't say anything.

"I can't even keep plants alive," she breathed dejectedly. "I'm gonna be the worst queen the world could ask for."

His frown deepened, turning into a silent stare that was almost unnerving if it weren't for the soft strokes along the side of her belly.

She swallowed, alternating between his eyes, meeting his stare.

She blinked, almost startled, when he finally spoke, and she realised the rain had slowed. It thrummed a little calmer now.

His eyes were fully awake now, his hand lifting to cradle her cheek. "You'll be the best queen this world could wish for, Usako."

She scoffed.

"I mean it," he said with a deep frown.

It was her turn to frown back, and he pursed his lips and moved his thumb to try and smooth out the frowny lines across her forehead. It was a lost cause, but he persevered.

"You're exactly what the world needs," he whispered. "Inspiring, loving compassion and humble gentleness where currently there's power-hungry greed and cold-hearted, ruthless 'interests'. You love the world and the people and want to protect every last person in it."

Her brow puckered under his gentle strokes. "But..." she started to argue.

He interrupted her.

"I sometimes worry if it's too much to ask of you, though."

She blinked hard once and stared at him hard in surprise, her face moving slightly on the pillow.

He sighed, tilted his head slightly, eyes on his moving thumb and the lines on her forehead. "I wonder if the world deserves you. I'm terrified it will exploit you. Tear you down."

Her mouth popped open. "Mamo-chan..." she breathed, taken aback.

He pressed his lips to her frowny lines, to the ridged brow and the crumpled, tense bit of skin between her eyebrows, and pressed the softest kiss to it, and then another and another.

His lips were soft and gentle, and his hand in the back of her neck was not; it was hard and insistent and pressing into her tense neck.

It finally did the trick to smooth all the worry lines away and let them untense for a bit.

Another kiss, and another, all to the same spot above the bridge of her nose where the tension and the worry sat.

"I'll try my best to protect you all the way, Usako," he whispered, his lips remaining on that spot. "I promise."

[atopearth]

Pub Encounter Part 2 - Ryunosuke Yuze Route

HAHAHA omg, Ryunosuke seems like such a shy guy, he blushed when Shiori approached him and started talking to him hahaha. Omgg wow, I didn’t expect Hideaki to be 46!! He looks pretty young compared to the others lol! I guess he’s young at heart? Lolll. Shiori is so slow and silly, lmao when Ryunosuke helped her carry her shopping bags (since she nearly fell, lucky he catched her lol) and she was like, they’re my bags..Hahahaha, of course they’re yours, he’s just helping you carry it loll🤣🤣 It’s kinda cute that they just spontaneously enjoyed their day off together after that. Omgggg, Ryunosuke is the CEO for a lingerie chain?? How unexpected! Lmaooo when he ran away in his car when Shiori found out haahaha, why is he so cute lmao. I’m glad he was very upfront about his apology for how he acted, but I also think it was really nice how he made it clear to her his thoughts towards women and how he can’t find it within himself to trust them and view them positively. Although, I guess, like he said, it is kinda ironic when his job is entwined with women. However, he seems genuinely perplexed about women, I wonder what his past will be like? It’s nice to see Shiori understand that regardless of the fact that she’s a woman, they’re strangers after all, so him not trusting her is fine, so now they just need to be friends and learn to understand and trust each other! I think that’s a nice and positive attitude, I like that~

I feel like the creepy presence that threw a rock at Shiori when they walked home together is probably some jealous woman but yeah~ glad that incident kinda pushed forward their sharing of phone numbers haha. I feel like I’m learning so many surprising things about Ryunosuke, like dang, Ryunosuke at the arcade winning stuffed animals? I would love to see that! Lmao at Shiori begging him to get her one from a series she likes, and he gets her the whole thing lol. I gotta say, Ryunosuke liking cakes and sweet alcoholic drinks is so different from his image, now all I can think about is him happily eating cakes hahaha. Omggg, drunk Shiori attacked our innocent Ryunosuke that was just trying to take her back home!! I feel sorry for the her next day that had to live with those memories that she licked his lips or whatever because she liked the sweet scent from the drink he had loll. And she even started kissing him, and he reciprocated! Like danggg. I’m really liking their chemistry though. They’re obviously interested in each other, but they want to know more about each other and be friends first, and I think it’s great! He consults her on opinions of things he thinks about such as why people seek for eternity, and she had a common answer but I still liked how it was worded. People do want to leave a piece of themselves behind, and I think the idea of putting something intangible into something physical was a really neat way of saying it. We may not “exist” after our deaths, but we can still exist in other ways~!

It was leading to it so it was obvious, but dang, Ryunosuke got stalked by his old secretary… That’s tough… Especially when she only exhibited that behaviour after he became CEO, kinda crazy that it ended up involving the police and trial to get her to stay away from him though. That would be pretty traumatising huh? Really gotta admire Shiori for being undeterred and saying she’ll protect Ryunosuke haha, it’s really sweet, but at the same time I’m so scared of their safety. As usual, I love how upfront they are with their thoughts towards their relationship, and I’m glad they both admitted their feelings, but want to resolve this secretary stalker problem first before they progress further, which is understandable. Ryunosuke kissing her forehead was cute~~

Them sharing their homemade lunches on a bench was so adorable! So cute of them complimenting each other’s cooking hahaha. Honestly though, I feel like with how crazy Itodani was, it’s kinda anticlimactic and a bit unbelievable that she would just let go of it all after Ryunosuke confronted her and told her to back off and find someone she can truly love. Really can’t see how that opened her eyes, especially since she had been harassing him for a long time, and had even harassed his previous secretary too! So yeah, unbelievable but whatever lol. I really like how Ryunosuke likes to do things properly, especially when he gave her flowers and asked her to be his girlfriend. These things don’t necessarily need to be said all the time, but I think saying it really makes things more official and laid out properly to the other person, I think it’s really nice to communicate your intentions thoroughly. Unlike Yorihisa in the previous route, she really doesn’t need to guess how Ryunosuke is feeling because they’ve both been very upfront about it and I think that’s what I love about their relationship. 

Considering how polite of a guy Ryunosuke is to everyone, and it was only when Mamoru told him to be more casual with him did he change, really puts into perspective how sweet it is for him to tell Shiori himself that she should talk to him more casually since they’re not strangers anymore. With how much he consults her opinion on his work, she might as well just become his secretary loll. Lmao that he’s been unconsciously checking out her body all the time because he wants her to be the new poster girl of Torenia since the current one has no passion or love towards Torenia’s lingerie etc. LOL when he so boldly said he wanted to see her in her underwear hahahaha, like I know it’s for work but the way he so bluntly said it was funny hahaha. I also liked how when she was a bit embarrassed to wear it after eating, he said that “a love that couldn’t withstand something silly like that would be no love at all”, I honestly thought that was really sweet, especially since he said it like a matter of fact. Honestly, now that I’m on Ryunosuke’s route, I’m starting to really see how bad Yorihisa was, I just realised that for all the crappy things he did, Yorihisa never ever apologised! Whereas, for Ryunosuke, when he knew that his recent busy schedule affected their relationship, he told her that she should be honest with her feelings about it, and when she told him she got scared that they were growing apart, he very conclusively told her that their relationship isn’t that shallow, but he also apologised for making her feel like that with his absence. And I think that’s what is so great about a Ryunosuke tbh. He believes in their relationship and their feelings, but he also makes sure to apologise for making her feel insecure just because he wanted to surprise her with the new brand he was working on.

I knew Ryunosuke was dedicating the new brand to her, but aside from the fact I never thought he would actually call it Shiori, I find it so much more touching that he did it because he remembered that conversation they previously had about leaving something tangible behind as a piece of themselves. I thought that was really cool and thoughtful, it really shows how much Ryunosuke cares about what they talk about. As expected, after her complaints about her job etc, Ryunosuke finally made the move to propose to her and ask her to be his secretary so he could always see her at work and at home, which is so cute hahaha. I have to admit that it was so silly yet cute that Ryunosuke was adamant about living separately after marriage until they could properly move into their newly built home. He’s so formal about it all, but I think that’s a nice serious side of him. Although I prefer how sweet the best ending was, the good ending was really good too! Loved how proactive and bold Shiori was, and she even teased Ryunosuke just to see him blush since she thinks it’s so cute, and it’s also because of his blush that she kinda fell for him haha.

Overall, I really liked Ryunosuke’s route, I feel like it’s going to be my favourite tbh hahaha. Mainly because I feel like they were both very mature in their approach towards the relationship by always being honest, upfront and communicative. Sometimes she needs the push from him to be more honest about her feelings but I think that just speaks more towards his experience with handling people and relationships, so I think even if she can be a little less mature at times, it just kinda shows how she needs his support in that area to grow as a person, whereas he’s older so he knows how to better deal with things? Anyway, doesn’t matter because he’s a gentleman and she’s forward so they match well, and it’s a much more balanced relationship than with Yorihisa haha! I also think it’s rather refreshing that usually when it’s the CEO stereotype, the stories usually kinda flaunt how rich they are with the maids, big houses etc to show how capable they are, but Ryunosuke really seems like a normal person that is very hardworking and capable. He does everything by himself, such as moving houses with Shiori and cooking etc, he knows how to take care of himself and others, and is very considerate, but at the same time it never really retracts from his image, it only boosts it to show that even if he’s very busy, he is perfectly able to take care of himself, so him wanting Shiori in his life is because he really likes spending time with her, and I guess it was refreshing to see Ryunosuke not be that typical CEO type. The only thing I didn’t like was how the stalker thing was resolved, but I really liked how Ryunosuke very slowly but naturally warmed up to Shiori, they had such a realistic relationship, I couldn’t help but swoon the whole time over how cute and natural it was.

[tres-spades-hotel]

Fake (A KBTBB FanFic) Chapter 1 - A Disaster After Another, Part 2

“I don’t listen to women, especially one who tries to humiliate me in front of so many people. The only solution is to give that back.” The man I encountered at the beginning. He says it loud enough for me to hear and I scowl in return. He laughs and walks off. He won’t get away with this.

As I hear the auctioneer, in a strange outfit no less, I come to realise what this is. A black market auction. Great. I’m being sold. And if I get sold, my ‘owner’ will get all my assets. My Serpents.

“Here is a Japanese woman, fit to do anything you desire. Keep her as a pet, use her for your own gains, the list is limitless. She may be wearing a suit, but there is a woman ready to be dressed by your ideas.”

I feel both disgusted and annoyed that this is happening. Some men in the audience lick their lips while some women whisper into their counter-parts ear.

“Let us begin the bidding.”

5 million. 10 million. The number continues to rise. But it stops at 20 million.

“20 million… so-“ “Wait!” I shout before he can sell me.

“20 million? A measly 20 million is all you can sell me for? You must be joking. I am worth for more than that. Try a little harder and you’ll see.” I say with confidence. It is true that 20 million is nothing compared to the amount of money I earn per hour.

But the audience is intrigued. Excited whispers and chuckles rip through the audience. The auction continues with me at the centre.

“Sold! At 200 million dollars.” A pair of men drag the cage off the stage. Two men, one who I recognise immediately as Ota Kisaki and the other in a red suit who I also recognise as Mitsunari Baba, both wear masks but it does nothing to hide their identities.

The handcuffs come off and I rub my sore wrists.

“Please follow us.” The man in red says, holding his arm out to show the way.

“You’re a weird one. Did you want to be sold here?” Ota Kisaki says. I decide I’m better off saying nothing and I follow them.

When we arrive, I notice that we have walked past my room. The one I have rented out.

“Here Boss. We brought her.” When I enter the room, I see 3 other men lounging around. Everyone takes off their masks. I see all the men whom I have investigated at one point. Eisuke Ichinomiya, Soryu Oh and even a police detective, Mamoru Kishi. He also uses my Serpents but to catch criminals. I didn’t realise he was crooked.

“You have been bought b-” Eisuke begins to say but I put my hand up to stop him.

“I’m going to stop you right there. You have not bought me, this is a slight set back.”

Everyone looks taken back by my statement but Eisuke smirks at me. “Oh?”

“Watch what you say woman.” Soryu tells me in an intimidating tone and face.

“Woman? Is that what I am? I didn’t notice.” I hear snickers from everyone as I put my hand on my hip. “Please, don’t reduce me down to a mere object. Didn’t you hear what I said on the stage? I’m worth far more than you can ever know.” I only speak in a confident voice which just intrigues the men more.

“She’s got you there Sor.” Baba says. Soryu looks at me with annoyance. Eisuke pipes in and says “You’re an interesting one. You successfully sold yourself at triple the amount that you were nearly auctioned for. What makes you think you’re worth more of my time than any other woman?” He crosses his arms and legs, trying to show off.

“Well for one thing, my value is adequately more than your time.” I say with mockery. His eyes narrow and he scowls at me.

“Well we just bought you for 200 million so that must be true in some sense.” Mamoru says, lighting a cigarette. Soryu scrunches up his nose, again, at the smoke.

“So you don’t like women and smoke? I wonder whether you like anything.” I smile, and he looks at me with confusion. But I turn to Ota and Baba who have sat down.

“Those auctions are all yours?”

“Yes. Anything and anyone can be sold.”

“I gathered since I was just sold! What time is it?” I say with urgency. “Nearly 9.”

“Fuck. I have to go to the IVC to meet someone.” I go to grab my phone out of my pocket but there’s nothing there. I feel for my things in my pockets but they’re all empty.

“Where’s my stuff?”

“On their way up I’m sure.” I share a scowl with Eisuke who stands up.

While I check my pockets, Eisuke walks up to me and catches my chin is his hand, lifting my head up to look him in the eyes. “You’ve been bought by us, so you need to choose who will own you.” I unconsciously search his eyes for something. He has sweet eyes but there’s only a harshness behind them.

Looks can be deceiving.

I smirk and say, “I belong to no one but myself.” I pull out a secret phone from the bottom of my boot and walk off, leaving a stunned audience.

--

“Vayy, I have gotten into… a little situation but I will let you know about the information I gather tonight. In the meantime, get 200 million dollars ready in cash.”

“Yes Ma’am. May I ask what it’s for?”

“No. Just have it ready.” I hang up and put my earrings in. Vayy was one of the first Serpents. She has helped me like a personal assistant, a friend and a sister. Vayy means very much to me, just like all the other Serpents. We went to university together and knew about the awful things that happened to me, so she tries to be as protective as her position lets her. But I do understand her concern. And you don’t want to see Vayy mad.

The dress fits like a glove and hugs me like a lover. I put my hair up to show off my back and slip on platform heels to give me some height. I put on a ring bracelet and a wrap-around snake bracelet on my other wrist. Everyone in the Serpent Syndicate wears something that relates to snakes. It’s how we can tell each other apart from innocents. Some have tattoos, jewellery and wearing clothing with snake images on them. I prefer wearing jewellery, but I had a cobra tattoo done on my inner arm.

Knock. Knock.

Who could that be? I open the door and find Baba and Ota have come by with a box in hand.

“Hello, here are the items that were taken away from you before the auction happened.” Ota holds out the box and I take it.

“Thanks.” I say and walk into the room. I open it and find my smartphone, keys and other small items.

“I was surprised to see that you live in a VIP room. But if you have a lot of money, how did you end up at the auctions?” I tell them about what happened earlier in the day and they shrug their shoulders.

“I suppose it’s bad luck that happened. How did they knock you out?”

“I remember being outside, walking past a park when someone knocked me out with a cloth dipped in a drug.”

“I see. By the way, you look absolutely stunning.” Baba suddenly takes my hand and kisses it like a fairy tale prince.

“Hm, thanks.” I reply, taking back my hand and waving it in the air. As if it’s going to make much difference. I wipe my hand on a laughing Ota and his face changes into disgust.

“Ew keep Baba’s saliva off me please.”

“Hey!” Baba looks offended, but I quickly take their ears in my hands.

“Ow!”

“Hey! What are you doing?”

“Stop complaining. This is happening because of your auctions. Do not forget for a second that I can tell anyone and everyone about the basement of the Tres Spades Hotel. Are we clear?”

They nod quickly, and I let go. They rub their ears and run off. I roll my eyes and grab my purse, following them.

--

Wow. It’s extremely extravagant down here and I haven’t even gotten to the entrance yet. The lobby is filled with staff and other guests who do not have the fortune to go to the IVC. I carefully make my way down, but I get a phone call from Henry.

“Mistress, we have Mr. Oshaka making his way to us. What should we do?”

“Shit. That’s early. Tell him to get on a plane to Japan. You all follow and get him to my room in the Tres Spades Hotel.”

“Yes Ma’am.” I give Henry my room details and hang up. Henry and Jack are bodyguards of mine. While Henry is stern and quick, Jack is comical and careful. Jack finds most of his pleasure in men though, which does give Henry the creeps. But they act like brothers and this gives me comfort that I’m surrounded by family.

I take a deep breath and open the double doors. My strides and body language immediately become focused and confident. If you act as if nothing fazes you, nothing will. Everyone turns to stare and watch me, but I only keep my eyes on a certain CEO who seems to think he owns me. Eisuke and his associates turn towards me after hearing my footsteps. I make eye contact with Eisuke and he smirks at me. God his smirk is both annoying and arousing.

I slow my steps as I get closer. When I do, I take Eisuke’s arm and walk away with him in tow. I drag him to the dance floor where couples are holding each other in a ballroom dance. I stop outside the group and pull him towards me, flush to my body, and wrap his arms around my waist. Then I feel him tug me even closer so that I hear his breathing in my ear. I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, letting my fingers run through his hair gently. I notice many women around us giving me a jealous look and I only smirk at them. We sway to the music as I look over his shoulder.

“Now I don’t have a lot of time as I am on a very tight schedule. A minor setback but this’ll have to do. You’ll help me to get the information that I am seeking and then we can talk about … paying off the debt.” I whisper into his ear and he responds by nipping at my ear and running his large hands up and down my sides. I bite my lip to prevent myself from letting out a moan.

“I’ll help you for now, but later we will discuss very thoroughly about your debt and in what method you’ll pay it off.” Eisuke whispers and licks my ear for good measure. It takes all of me strength to keep quiet.

When I get my voice back I whisper, ”When Mr. Ukara comes up to us, you will just stand by me and look pretty. And pretty things don’t talk.”

“I could say the same about you.” He says. “Shut up.” I murmur.