#especially janine

[dorkylittleweirdo]

Anyway I hope Peter becomes evil too for a little bit bc he deserves more than anyone to tear Janine a new one lmao

[n1ghteeea]

I think we’ve seen each of em cook something in different episodes(?) ..but how do you think each of the guys are in the kitchen ? who cooks most often.. who’s better at it…who can’t be trusted with the stove…etc.

ALSO that part in The Long long long goodbye where peter opens the fridge n says something abt not letting ray and egon do the shopping anymore cuz it’s full of junk?? i think abt that a lot,,them taking turns picking up groceries in pairs..i need a whole episode on that.

I think they all cook based on a schedule, one after the other so it’s fair. That being said, Ray and Winston enjoy cooking the most (and are the best at it).

I think Ray cooks great meals EXCEPT for when he decides to experiment or use some of his old family recipes (I am never forgiving him that casserole from the “Killerwatt” ep in season 1). But aside from that he’s great!

Winston is afro-latino who had a great relationship with his grandma, so he probably knows a lot of recipes and cooks amazing, I imagine the guys almost worship his food because it’s always just so fricking good. No slip-ups. Always top notch.

Egon can cook fine, though it takes him longer than others because he treats cooking like precise experiments. He measures ingredients exactly instead of just throwing them in like experienced cooks do.

Peter is kinda on the same level as Egon, except he doesn’t measure shit and sometimes burns or oversalts the food. He’s also lazy as hell and the guys often get takeout on his cooking days bc he just doesn’t feel like spending time and effort.

Janine doesn’t cook for them (they don’t pay her enough for that) but sometimes might bring some stuff to share. Egon loves her food, the others are way more neutral. They think it’s too bland (though aside from Winston none of them can handle spice).

Regarding the Egon and Ray groceries trip I AGREE SO BAD, I’d honestly watch a whole season of no ghostbusting and just the guys doing random stuff. I love domestic RGB so much, my actual bread and butter 🫶

[ollierachnid]

hehehe swapbusters scene redraws will be real SOON...

[a1asta1r]

Topher and Janine mention we are so back!

[literaryspinster]

Pet peeve of mine...

when a show establishes an incredible dynamic between two or more characters, then proceeds to give them no screentime together for multiple seasons. It really grinds my gears.

[caimitos]

ive been looping tingin by cup of joe for dayssss and its making me sickkkkk and nauseous im on my hands and knees i want to be so so so in love right now wjat the fuck

[transexuality]

audrey is my favorite character in twin peaks aside from dale because i love women who scheme and plot.

[romerona]

The Cook and the Teacher!

Headcanons of Carmen (Carmy) Berzatto x Abbot Teacher Femreader! Sunshinereader!

Let's pretend The Bear and Abbot Elementary are in the same city.

Their relationship is the perfect mix of Carmy’s high-energy, fast-paced work life and the reader’s vibrant but nurturing personality. She helps him slow down and appreciate the quieter, simpler moments, while he brings her a sense of excitement and adventure she didn’t know she needed.

Carmy finds her colorful, warm presence a soothing contrast to the often gray and chaotic atmosphere of his kitchen.

In one of these rare moments, Carmy is cooking in his own kitchen, reader loves to help out. She’ll chop vegetables or stir sauces while teasing him about his intense focus. He secretly loves these moments.

Occasionally, she’ll attempt to make him breakfast—simple pancakes or eggs—and Carmy will quietly fix little things without her noticing. He never wants her to feel like she isn’t good enough in the kitchen.

The reader knows how much pressure Carmy puts on himself, so she makes it her mission to leave little notes for him to find, saying things like, “You’re enough, with or without a Michelin star.”

The reader knows how to calm Carmy when he’s spiraling, either with a warm hug or by distracting him with a ridiculous story from her day.

Carmy helps her through her own stressful days by listening attentively and offering practical advice—or, if that fails, making her a delicious meal that instantly brightens her mood.

Their relationship is full of lighthearted teasing. She loves poking fun at how serious he can be, calling him “Chef” in a mock-stern voice while dramatically bowing. He’ll roll his eyes but can’t help the small smile that sneaks onto his face.

Carmy is fiercely protective of her, especially after seeing how draining her job can be at times. If someone crosses a line, whether it’s a rude parent, a random person or an ex, he’s the first to step in.

Similarly, the reader is protective of Carmy’s emotional well-being. She’s not afraid to tell him to take a day off or call out the staff (including Richie) if they’re piling too much on his plate.

Carmy admires her ability to manage a classroom of kids with humor and grace. He’s constantly amazed by how much energy and love she pours into her work. He often tells her, “I don’t know how you do it.”

The reader admires Carmy’s dedication and talent, even if she worries about how hard he pushes himself. She’ll often remind him that his worth isn’t tied to his achievements.

Carmy isn’t big on grand romantic gestures, but he shows his love through thoughtful actions—making her coffee just the way she likes it, fixing her scarf before she leaves the apartment, or cooking her favorite comfort food after a long day.

Reader, on the other hand, loves leaving little surprises for him—like a new knife roll she found on sale or a framed photo of the two of them that she sneaks into his office.

The staff at The Bear adore the reader, and they tease Carmy relentlessly about how soft he gets around her. Richie especially teases Carmy about how “whipped” he is, though it’s clear he’s just happy his cousin has someone who makes him smile.

When Carmy visits Abbott, the professors give the reader knowing looks, nudging her about “her handsome chef.” Janine even asks if Carmy can give a cooking demo for the kids someday, and while Carmy is shy and somewhat reluctant about it, he agrees because it makes reader happy.

Their late-night talks are a cornerstone of their relationship. After a long day, they’ll sit on the couch, and talk about their respective days, childhood memories, or Carmy’s culinary dreams, these moments become the heart of their relationship.

They’re perfectly comfortable doing their own things in the same room—Carmy scribbling recipe ideas while the reader grades papers or works on the next class projects. Silent yet intimate moments.

Carmy struggles to open up fully about his past, especially his guilt over Mikey’s death and the pressure he feels as a chef. The reader often has to gently coax him to share, which can lead to frustration on both sides.

The reader’s naturally sunny disposition occasionally clashes with Carmy’s more grounded (and sometimes pessimistic) outlook. While she tries to see the silver lining, Carmy sometimes feels like she’s dismissing his concerns, even if unintentionally.

Both have hectic schedules—Carmy’s long hours at The Bear and the reader’s commitment to Abbott. They often struggle to find quality time together, sometimes going days with only fleeting interactions.

Carmy’s obsession with perfection often spills into his personal life, making it hard for him to disengage from work. The reader sometimes feels like she has to compete for his attention, especially during busy weeks at the restaurant.

When they argue, Carmy tends to shut down, while the reader tries to resolve things immediately. This mismatch in conflict styles can make their fights drag on longer than necessary.

However, they’ve learned to meet in the middle—Carmy working on staying present in discussions, and reader giving him space when he needs it.

Carmy sometimes struggles with feelings of inadequacy, wondering why someone as bright and compassionate as reader is with him. He fears that his flaws—his temper, his workaholism, and his messy past.

Sometimes, Carmy doesn’t realize he’s shutting the reader out until she points it out, leading to heartfelt apologies.

Thanks to her gentle encouragement, Carmy is learning to open up more. She’s teaching him that it’s okay to lean on someone else for support.

meeting

[springwitch8]

flowers and firsts (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)

summary: being the gracious friend you are, you offer to share your weed with melissa and jacob for a fun friday night at their place. when jacob goes to bed, things get heated between you and your favorite coworker.

warnings: smut (18+), consensual high sex, recreational marijuana use (be responsible), strap-ons, praise kink, vibrators, soft melissa, stoner reader, attempts at comedy (it's a fun fic guys), mario kart 8 GONE SEXUAL

notes: happy 4/20. this wasn't requested, but my OCD is beating the fuck out of me rn and writing it brought me comfort. let me know what you think. much love from your favorite slutty stoner 💚

"i know kids are curious, but eighth grade is a bit early to try weed, right?" jacob bounced his leg anxiously as he raised the question to his friends in the teachers' lounge. one of his students had just been suspended for bringing marijuana to school, and jacob was characteristically worried about the kid.

"i started in tenth grade, but teenagers are growin' up younger and younger these days," melissa responded. barbara raised her eyebrows in shock, and melissa reacted with an amused half-smile. "like trouble over here. when was your first time, hon?"

you tried to ignore the innuendo as melissa invited you into the conversation. you had been hired to teach the third grade a few months ago. you and melissa had a rapport from the first moment you walked into the lounge. every time you were in a room together, you made each other laugh. melissa made you feel at ease in your new workplace, and you felt lucky to have her.

because you both got along so well, ava often paired you up for team-building exercises and combined-class activities. the two of you weren't exactly close friends yet, but you had chemistry. that much was obvious to everyone at abbott.

"tenth grade for me, too," you answered between sips of your morning coffee. "a friend and i did it in the bathroom before art class. good memories."

"what, did you have some kinda fancy vape pen?" melissa cocked an eyebrow at you.

"i wouldn't call it fancy, but yeah, we mostly smoked carts," you explained. "bought 'em from the upperclassmen in the parking lot before school. i'm pretty sure they weren't pure weed, though. we had to be smoking battery acid, or plastic or something."

"god, your generation is weird. smokin' chemicals out of a flash drive," melissa said, gesturing wildly to convey her amazement. "the first time i got high was in detention. my buddy steve would sneak in and bring us cigarettes and blunts. they all looked the same, so we played russian roulette with it. now everybody walks around with those neon devices in their pockets."

"i can't tell if you're being serious or if you're referencing the breakfast club," you giggled, nudging the redhead's shoulder jokingly as you sat down next to her.

"ha ha, very funny, little miss," melissa deadpanned. you had asked her to stop calling you "kid" a few weeks ago. she respected your wishes by coming up with all sorts of endearing synonyms to call you instead. "what about you, jacob? you used to vape—ever experimented with mary jane?"

"or mark john?" you added. melissa snorted and gave you a playful swat on the arm.

"no, actually, i haven't," jacob said, rolling his eyes at your quip. "i didn't have many friends in high school or college, and after that i had to be drug tested regularly for teachers without borders. i never got the chance."

"well, if you ever feel like trying something new, i have plenty to share," you offered. "can't have you over at my place, though; every time i bring guests around, my crazy neighbor thinks they're cia operatives."

everyone in the room except melissa gave you a shocked look. barbara looked especially aghast, her brightly painted lips curled into an 'o' shape.

"damn, i thought janine was the only after-school stoner here. what a pleasant surprise!" ava broke the silence.

"i suppose i would partake given one of those weed pens you mentioned," jacob said to you. "the only thing i've been vaping lately is air, and it gets stale after a while."

"oh no, i haven't used a cart since high school," you clarified. "if you're smoking with me, you're smoking. don't worry, it's easy. just like vaping, but better in every way."

"first of all, no smoke circle is happening under my roof without me." melissa chimed in, looking at you with a silent question in her eyes. you nodded—of course you wanted her there. "and second, where do you even get the weed? if you buy the legal stuff from new york or massachusetts, you're not bringin' it to my house."

"i wouldn't dream of it," you affirmed. "i only smoke authentic philly weed. don't worry about it; i got a guy."

---

that friday night, you showed up on melissa's doorstep wearing a casual t-shirt dress, with a tote bag full of goodies slung over your shoulder. jacob was the one to answer the door.

"hey! come on in, melissa's making pizza," he said cheerfully, a bit jittery with anticipation.

you followed jacob inside and found melissa leaning over the kitchen island, smiling fondly at you. she was wearing sweatpants and a loose-fitting striped shirt, with her hair loose and a bit messy from cooking. she looked radiant and comfortable.

"you know, the pizza will taste better if we smoke before dinner," you proposed.

"bold of you to assume my pizza could taste any better," melissa joked back.

"i'm game," jacob said. "i want the full marijuana experience."

"in that case, help me set up," you said to the history teacher. "i want you to see how everything works."

you laid the contents of your tote bag out on the island countertop: a ziploc baggie full of flower, a little purple grinder, a holographic pink bowl, and a yellow lighter with white flowers on it.

"jacob, this is a grinder," you said, uncapping the grinder and opening the ziploc bag. "we're gonna use it to break up the flower into little pieces."

"oh wow, that is... pungent," jacob remarked. he watched as you ground up the weed, then handed the pink glass bowl to him.

"and this is a bowl, or a pipe if you're lame," you said. "you wanna do the honors?"

jacob grinned and reached into the grinder, bouncing excitedly on his heels. you put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. he filled the bowl, looking to you for approval several times while he did it.

"awesome, we're ready," you said. melissa placed her pizza in the oven and joined the circle.

"let's take it out on the patio," melissa suggested.

she led you and jacob out to the patio, a small ledge overlooking the city with three chairs conveniently set up in a tight circle. it was 7pm and the sun had just begun its descent, casting philadelphia in an orange glow.

the three of you sat down. you held the bowl up to your lips and moved to light it, but melissa snatched the lighter from your hand. she leaned in and held the flame to the bowl, her face inches from yours. you tried to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than her painted lips or her vivid green eyes dancing all over you.

you took a long inhale of the smoke and blew it up toward the sky. melissa plucked the bowl out of your hand and took a hit. she held the smoke in her lungs for an impressive amount of time for someone who didn't smoke regularly. she passed the still-lit bowl to jacob.

as soon as jacob took his hit, you knew it was gonna hurt. he overestimated his own lung capacity, and he didn't even finish blowing the smoke out before he was coughing.

"happens to everybody, pal," melissa patted jacob's back to ease his pain.

"ugh!" jacob sputtered between coughs. "why didn't you guys tell me smoking hurts?"

---

several rotations later, the three of you were high. well, you and melissa were high; jacob was outright fried. not altogether unexpected, but funny as hell.

when melissa's pizza was done, you all resolved to eat outside so you could watch the sunset together.

"this is heavenly, mel," you moaned after a delicious bite of the pizza.

"ha!" jacob exclaimed, and you and melissa turned to him, confused. meeting melissa's gaze, he threw his arms up in the air—like he expected her to understand what he meant by that one noise. "she stole two syllables from your name. you can't just take syllables, y/n. they're not yours."

"since when do you care about private property rights?" you quipped back before turning your attention to melissa. "i'm serious though. this pizza is sooo good. like last-meal-on-death-row good."

"keep talkin' sweet like that, and you can call me whatever you want," melissa replied with a wink, sending a flood of warmth to your face.

"what were we talking about? just now?" jacob chimed in, his eyes wide and darting every which way.

"... i actually don't know," you said with a giggle. you tried to remember, you really did. but you could feel melissa's eyes on you, and you heard her words echoing in your head. and it was hard to focus on anything else.

"short term memory loss! add that to the list of things you guys didn't warn me about," jacob scoffed.

"jacob, eat your damn pizza," melissa cut in. a peaceful smile graced her lips as she stared out at the city skyline, now a twilight blue in the absence of the sun. "i've missed this feeling, everythin' all fuzzy and light. how are you holding up, lovebug?"

your heart fluttered at the endearing name. melissa, it seemed, wore her heart on her sleeve when she was high—judging by the adoring way she gazed at you while she awaited your response. maybe the weed was messing with your head, but you swore she'd never looked so beautiful.

her eyes lacked any trace of the fire you were used to seeing (though they were quite red). for once, she wasn't on guard. her plump lips curled around her wine glass as she took a sip of merlot, vocalizing her sensual appreciation with a hum.

her long auburn hair was tucked behind her ears, resting on her shoulders in loose waves instead of her preferred meticulous curls. you wanted to run your fingers through her locks, feel their softness and smell her shampoo.

entranced by the redhead, you forgot she had asked you a question. melissa tapped your knee in reminder.

"i feel perfect," was your soft reply. you were beaming brightly before the sentence even finished. rather than sitting in a chair, you felt like you were floating on a cloud. the colors of melissa's patio and the sky blended together in a beautiful, swirling mosaic. the sounds of the city were clear and pleasant as philly wound down for the night. "i'm so happy."

"glad to hear it, sunshine. but i'm pretty sure jacob is asleep," melissa chuckled and patted the man's shoulder. he didn't stir, remaining slumped and conked out in his chair. "he's been losin' sleep over the kid who got suspended. bending over backwards trying to keep 'em on track."

"oh gosh," you said sympathetically before patting jacob a bit more firmly than melissa had. "jacob, hey. c'mon, it's time for bed. get up, go get cozy."

your words were slurred and hushed, but they seemed to pierce the veil of jacob's slumber as he awoke with a start.

melissa stood behind jacob's chair, gently rocking it back and forth to bring him back to the conscious world.

"can't go to bed, we just started," jacob grumbled, but his eyes were still closed. he was dangerously close to falling asleep again.

"from the looks of it, you're either gonna spend the night sleepin' in this chair or in your bed, so get up," melissa said resolutely.

"yeah, and besides, there's always next time," you assured jacob as he stretched and groaned his way into an upright position. you made eye contact with melissa, and this time you winked.

---

after helping jacob into bed (his motor skills really deteriorated when he got high) and smoking another bowl together, you and melissa were ready to continue your night.

"alright, sweetheart, it's down to you and me," melissa said, sitting down next to you on the couch. "what do you wanna do?" you pondered the question, looking around the room for inspiration.

"oh my god, you have a nintendo switch?" you asked excitedly, gesturing to the black tablet plugged in next to the cable box.

"that's jacob's. he showed me one of the games on there—animal crossing, i think it was. i don't get it. why play a game if you can't win?"

"alright, i know what we have to do now," you said, walking over to jacob's game cabinet and pulling out mario kart 8. holding the case up for melissa to see, you grinned. "four races. whoever wins gets whatever she wants from the other."

you were distantly aware of the implications, but you were too high to reconsider what you'd proposed.

you figured melissa would want something from your thoroughly decorated classroom if she won. if you won, you'd ask her to make you a custom pizza.

"you have no idea what you just started, hon," melissa said with a confident smirk.

"may the best woman win."

---

how the hell was she so good at everything?

melissa had needed some time to warm up to the switch controls, complaining about how the little red rectangle was too small to hold comfortably. but she was a quick learner with skilled fingers, and soon she was absolutely demolishing you.

it also didn't help that your coordination escaped you when you were high. you had driven off of too many ledges to count.

"two wins in a row for luigi," melissa bragged as she crossed the finish line of the third race. "hope you're ready to give me whatever i want, princess. don't think i forgot about our bet."

"daisy won the first race," you pointed out calmly. "i can still bring it back. but you know what this last race has to be?"

"what?"

"rainbow road. it's the perfect final showdown course," you explained, navigating to the course with your controller.

"get ready to be mine for a night," melissa said lowly. god, you knew she was talking about the bet, but she knew damn well what she was doing. by this point your panties were almost uncomfortably wet.

you leaned into her unconsciously as the race countdown began. you both held your controllers tight, almost shoulder to shoulder.

3...

2... (you push down the gas pedal button)

1...

GO!!!

daisy took off with a boost of speed thanks to your timing. luigi had a false start as his engine blew out. you cheered, and melissa cursed.

"how the fuck do you do that?" she asked, exasperated.

"play the game!" you demanded without looking away from the screen.

the competition was intense. you and melissa weaved around curves, nearly fell off the road, passed and bumped each other. neither one of you spoke until lap 3.

coming up on one of the last turns of the last lap, your hands jerked and you swerved. reacting on instinct, you bent your arms dramatically in the other direction to overcorrect.

melissa's arm bumped into yours, sending your controller flying out of your hands.

"hey!" you said, thinking she was cheating.

"hey yourself," she said, her eyes still fixed on the screen.

if she was gonna play dirty, so were you. you thrust your arm forward to grab her controller. but she saw you coming from a mile away. effortlessly, she shifted the controller into her left hand alone and held it up and out of your reach.

desperately competitive (and stupid high), you launched yourself toward the controller. you'd stop at nothing to get even. before you could snatch it out of her grasp, though, your balance faltered. you fell out of your position and started to fall backwards off the couch.

melissa dropped the controller and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you back up before you could hurt yourself. there was only one problem with this heroic act.

you were in her lap now.

her hands remained clasped at the small of your back, and your balance shifted forward. you put your arms out for stability, and wrapped them around her neck.

"careful, don't hurt your pretty head," melissa cooed. the two of you stared at each other for a moment. she surged forward and pressed her lips to yours.

if sitting outside with her felt like floating, kissing her and feeling her body against yours felt like riding the ocean waves. but unlike the atlantic, she was warm. you relaxed into her warmth as her tongue licked into your mouth.

you felt her tongue everywhere. in response to her, you gave a few tentative kitten licks. she moaned, she moaned, and pulled back before giving you one last kiss on the lips.

she stared at you with heated eyes for a while before switching her focus to the tv.

"look, baby," she said smugly while gesturing to the tv screen, where luigi was driving victory laps after placing first on rainbow road. "i won. you remember what that means?"

it was a fair question, considering how many conversations you forgot happened tonight. still, you nodded shyly and bit your lip.

"smart girl," melissa praised. "can you guess what i want from you?"

you shook your head no with a frown. melissa beamed and kissed you on the forehead. then she leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"i wanna touch you everywhere. i wanna hear your pretty voice moan my name and see your face scrunch up when you come. i want you to feel me all over you, and i want you to spend the rest of your life craving that feeling," melissa said her piece all at once, as if revealing a long-buried secret to you and herself.

you swallowed.

"would you let me do that?"

you nodded, pressing your forehead against hers.

"i need to hear you say it," she said softly, so softly you almost missed it.

"i want you, melissa. i have since the day we met."

that was all the confirmation melissa needed to attack your face and neck with kisses.

"sorry, let me just," melissa said as she pulled away abruptly and reached for the tv remote. she changed it to cable mode and navigated to the jazz music channel. "there we go, perfect."

"you're ridiculous," you giggled upon seeing melissa's proud face.

"honey," she leaned in to nip at your ear before whispering, "watch your mouth. you wanna be on my good side tonight, trust me."

you shuddered and wiggled in her lap, aching for her touch. a slow grin spread across her face and her hands found your legs, running up your thighs and lightly dragging her nails along your skin. they soon made their way up your waist to your breasts, cupping and squeezing them. melissa even took two fingernails and circled your nipples teasingly, to which you squeaked.

"do you know how many times i thought about havin' you like this?" melissa whispered. her voice was sweet like molasses and flowed right through you. you could feel your nipples tingling where her fingers had been, swimming in a bubble of desire. "in my lap, all whiny and squirmy."

she pinched your nipple and you keened. you held your breath as her hands once again traveled to your thighs, making a beeline for your core.

"and now i got my angel in my arms," she said, gently spreading your legs for better access. you sucked in a breath and trembled when her palm caressed you through your panties. "but i gotta say, even in my imagination you were never this wet for me."

she punctuated the sentence by pressing her pointer finger on your clit through the fabric, drawing tiny circles. you gasped and hid your face in her neck. the high made every touch feel like it rippled through your whole body. the world felt like it had been knocked off its axis, and melissa was your new center of gravity.

"aw, don't be embarrassed, babygirl. it's cute you're so sensitive," melissa soothed, easing you out of the crook of her neck to face her again. she trailed her fingers down to swirl around your wetness under your panties. "let me take care of you, yeah?"

---

a few minutes later, you were spread out on melissa's bed, naked save for your (now useless) panties. she'd practically carried you to her room as you were baked and horny and unable to walk straight.

in spite of your writhing and needy whines, the redhead took her time to savor you. she kissed every inch of your torso before she even considered taking your panties off, mumbling sweet nothings between love bites.

when she finally pulled away to admire her work, the view did not disappoint. you were panting and covered in melissa's marks, and god, you were her favorite piece of art ever created. all hers.

"alright, sweet girl, i know," she cooed as you continued to plead for her touch with your best pout and puppy eyes. unable to resist you, melissa hooked two fingers in the waistband of your panties. "i'm gonna slip these off ya, okay? there, down they go."

melissa discreetly tucked the saturated material into her pocket. not as a trophy or proof of her conquest; rather, a token from the first of many magical nights with her girl. she would treasure it.

she wasted no time getting situated between your legs so she was face-to-face with your pussy. she inhaled deeply, basking in the heady aroma of your arousal. you overwhelmed her senses. everything she saw, everything she smelled, everything she felt, everything she thought—it was all one big, bottomless pool of you. and there was only one sense left for you to conquer.

the first drag of her tongue up your slit set you ablaze, flames licking from your core all the way to your extremities and your head. she let out a small noise of appreciation, and you felt it more than you heard it.

"you taste like fuckin' heaven," melissa rumbled between determined licks through your folds. her comment reminded you of the pizza, and you found yourself amused at how much things had changed in just a few hours.

"last-meal-on-death-row good?" you joked, and melissa seized the moment of levity to latch onto your clit. you cried out before remembering jacob was sleeping in the next room. you clapped a hand over your mouth.

"mhmmmmm," she moaned in agreement, and the vibrations on your bundle felt incredible. "but if you're still crackin' jokes, i'm not doin' my job."

with that, she shut you up completely. her tongue poked at your clit between harsh sucks. your back arched and melissa changed her strategy, prodding at your entrance with her tongue while her fingers took over on your clit. when her tongue penetrated you, you bit down on your hand to keep from screaming.

"i said i wanna hear you, remember?" melissa pulled out to chastise you.

"but jacob—" you managed.

"is passed out. he's dead to the world. now sing for me, angel," melissa's tongue dove back into your weeping cunt and lapped at your walls. you wailed her name.

"oh, mel, right—ahhh—there!" you mewled as her tongue teased your most sensitive spot. now that she'd located her target, melissa changed her play once again. two fingers replaced her tongue and crooked into your g-spot while her mouth returned to your clit. "close..."

melissa nodded her permission, her mouth busy with your button. with another hard roll of your clit between her lips and drive of her fingers into your sweet spot, you fell apart. you moaned and cried unbidden as she worked you through your orgasm, which felt twice as powerful thanks to the intoxication factor. your body shook in the grip of seemingly endless waves of heat.

your climax eventually died down and you squirmed away from melissa's touch. your mouth opened in dismay when instead of staying by your side, she stood up and disappeared into her closet.

after a short while, the older woman reappeared by your side. she was now nude and sporting a long, girthy strap-on. she placed a few other items on the nightstand, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the thick faux cock. unless it was to look at her gorgeous tits, which swung with her every move. she was a goddess.

"okay, sweets, i'm gonna spell this out nice and slow because i know your brain is a little messy right now," she said as she crawled on top of you. "i'm gonna fuck you with my strap. and i know it's so big, but i have this to help you take it."

melissa reached over to the nightstand and retrieved a green mini wand vibrator. her intentions were clear, and you gulped. the redhead peppered kisses all over your face in reassurance.

"now relax, little love. let me in," melissa instructed as the wand buzzed to life. she smeared your wetness around your clit with her fingers, then pulled back its hood to position the vibrator tightly against your nub. even the lowest setting was a shock at such a direct angle.

while you were distracted trying to adjust to the clitoral stimulation, melissa aligned the tip of the dildo with your entrance and pushed in. you both groaned, and you felt yourself stretch around the toy. melissa turned up the vibrations on your clit as she progressed to being fully seated inside you.

"that's a good girl, so brave," melissa cooed. you thrashed underneath her, the sensations overstimulating you. the pain of the intrusion staved off a powerful orgasm from the wand vibrator.

again, you wondered if the drugs were messing with your mind—the dildo felt indistinguishable from a part of mel's body, and you were full to the brim of her.

as she began to rock her hips back and forth, you saw her bite her lip. you assumed that the strap had some kind of clit attachment for her based on the telltale signs of pleasure.

melissa built up a steady rhythm and drank in your pathetic sounds of pleasure. her tits swung in your face with every thrust, and you made a mental note to give them proper attention next time. with another tactical increase to the wand's speed, you felt yourself approaching the edge once more.

"you gettin' close? yeah, i can tell. feels too good to hide it, huh bunny?" that was a new one. you clenched at her words and she set the wand to its maximum power, rubbing it up and down on your clit. your vision went white and you spun out of reality as you came. "that's my girl. good little princess, coming so hard for me."

with a few more thrusts, melissa also came to a release. she shuddered and shimmied her hips at random while she rode it out. as soon as she recovered, she turned off the green wand and relieved you. next, she eased herself out of and off of you.

with a chaste peck to your lips, she sat upright and reached for the nightstand. she smiled at your fucked-out expression as she laid out the pajamas she'd picked out for you.

you watched in awe as she took off the strap and put on her own sleep clothes. her red hair was wild from the night's activities and glowed like a warm hearth against the white backdrop of her walls.

in your state, you wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with melissa and fall asleep. but she insisted that you get ready for bed so that you'd be comfortable through the night. she guided you into the bathroom and gave you a new toothbrush to use.

returning to the bedroom, you found a silky green nightgown with flowers on it waiting on the bed for you. given your exhausted and intoxicated state, melissa had to help you into it. neither of you minded. as a reward for your cooperation, she gave you a kiss.

the two of you snuggled into bed, tucked in together with you curled up against her chest. the tides of slumber lapped at your feet.

"g'night, lovebug," melissa whispered as you drifted off. "sleep well. see you in the morning."

and tomorrow would be the first of a lifetime of tomorrows waking up in her arms.

[n1ghteeea]

Hey guys, feel free to send me the real ghostbusters art requests or asks or anything really, I really want to talk to someone about them!! Rotating them in my brain isn’t enough

[janeyseymour]

Sneaky Link

Summary: A request from an anon- Secret relation between R and Melissa, Ava flirting with reader until Melissa breaks and threatens to take a Edith houghton to her

WC: ~3.9k

Not edited in the slightest and written in a depressive era lol enjoy

It’s funny the way the world works out for you. It always has been, and it probably always will be. So when Melissa Schemmenti, the known regular at one of the bars you’re also a regular at, comes sauntering up to you after a long day of searching for jobs and interviewing with what seems to be no such luck- well, you think maybe the universe really was looking out for you.

And that was months ago. Now, you and that hot, tough on the outside but soft on the inside, teacher have been together since that night. It’s… it’s something special. You thank whatever high power there is out there for bringing her to you on that one night when you really needed someone.

The thing that the universe hasn’t done in your favor? Given you a job. Until…

“Babe!” Melissa calls you as you’re leaving one of the schools you’ve been subbing at.

You smile at her voice. You always do. “Hey. What’s up?”

“We’re still on for dinner tonight?”

“Of course we are,” you chuckle softly. “I would never give up the opportunity to see my beautiful woman. That isn’t why you called though, is it?”

“No,” she admits. “I was just talking with my principal, and she said that they are for sure hiring a new second grade teacher over the summer. Do you want me to throw your name into the ring and put a good word in for you?”

“How about you let me go so I can drive to your place, and we can talk about it over dinner?” you suggest. “And you drive safe too?”

“You know I never drive safe unless I have you in my car- precious cargo,” she teases you softly. “But okay. I’ll see you in a bit, mi amore.”

That night, the two of you chat about the position opening up at her school. As it turns out, the position is for another second grade teacher, and if you were to get the job, your room would be right next to hers. 

“I don’t know,” you sigh softly as you lay your head down in her lap. “I just… I want to get the job on my own terms, not be a shoo in because I have the world’s hottest teacher in my corner.”

“That would be you, mi amore,” she says quietly as she weaves her fingers through your hair. “But that’s fine. I do think you should apply though. You would be a great addition to the team, and you would get to be on my team and balance out Janine with all of her energy.”

“You know I have just as much energy sometimes,” you chuckle as you reach for the television remote. 

“Yeah,” your girlfriend laughs. “But I find it endearing with you.”

“Because we’re dating.”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

You end up applying for the job, and when you go in, it’s quite easy to see how the redhead has maintained working here for so long. It’s a rundown school where she can make a difference- she refuses to burn out for the sake of the children. And you’ll refuse to burn out for the sake of the children right with her if you end up getting hired here.

The secretary leads you back to the conference room where there sits a panel. It’s clear who the principal is, but then soon either side of her are two women. One who you know from Melissa’s stories is Barbara Howard, and the other is… It’s Melissa herself. It takes everything in you to not chastise her for being a part of your interview, or for at least not giving you a warning- especially after you had spoken with her on the phone earlier that morning about how nervous you were for the interview. You’ll have to save that for after your interview.

“Well, hello there,” Ava’s eyes rake you up and down. “Principal Coleman, and this is Barbara Howard and Melissa Schemmenti- two of Abbott’s finest teachers. Although, you may just join Red in the running for hottest teacher here.”

If this were not a professional setting, you would quip that you could never stand a chance up against your girlfriend, but you’re interviewing, and you know nobody at work knows of her relation to you. So you press your lips together in a fine line and reach out to shake each of their hands. While you meet both Ava’s and Barbara’s eyes, it is much harder for you to look at those green eyes you usually love to see.

The interview is- well, it’s somewhat of a joke. Barbara and Melissa ask you the more sensible questions about classroom management, behavior plans, and lessons, while the principal asks you what your favorite reality tv show is and how you would survive on a deserted island if you needed to. Nevertheless, they all seem impressed with your responses, both to the professional and unprofessional questions that were thrown your way.

You’re told to stay out in the hall for a few minutes while they deliberate, and you’re dying to know what’s being said about you in the conference room you’re hovering outside of.  It takes all of five minutes before you’re being called back into the room by Melissa herself, who is nothing if not professional.

“I have one more question for you,” the principal states seriously. You nod and smile nervously. “When are you able to start?”

“A-are you offering me the position?” you ask, eyebrows raised in surprised. You thought for sure they would be asking to see a demo lesson or something of the sort.

“Hell yeah we are,” Ava grins. “Abbott could use a hottie like you.”

Because you’re so busy shaking the principal’s hand and accepting the position, you miss the glare that your girlfriend sends her boss. You’re stuck there for a bit signing papers before you’re shown to your classroom by Barbara and Melissa- Ava claiming she’s trying to catch up on her newest reality television show. They end up giving you a tour of the school before handing you the curriculum binder and seeing you out.

“We’ll see you for development week, dear,” the kindergarten teacher smiles at you. “We’re very excited for you to join our team.”

Melissa just nods, hellbent on keeping up her tough South Philly girl act. You smile at them as you head out of the building. As soon as you’re in your car, you text your girlfriend.

What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in my interview this morning?

We’ll talk when I come over, okay? Her response is almost immediate. It’s quickly followed by a, Congratulations, mi amore.

As soon as she pulls up to your townhouse, you’re standing outside on your front stoop with your arms folding over your chest as you stare her down. She comes running up your steps and pulls you into a hug, kissing your temple, then your cheek, then your nose, and then finally your lips. For as annoyed as you are with her, you do end up kissing her back.

“Lissa,” you say sternly.

“I’m so proud of you for getting the position,” she tells you as she rests her forehead against yours.

“Thank you,” you smile softly. But then your face drops again. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to be in my interview?”

She leads you back into your house and kicks off her shoes before sighing. “I didn’t know that I was going to be in your interview. It was supposed to be Janine, but she got sick and called out last minute. Someone from the second grade team had to be there, and by the time Ava had called me, I knew you were already in a tizzy, and I didn’t want to stress you out any more than you already were.”

You bring her into the kitchen where you already have some of the ingredients out for dinner, along with a bottle of champagne. “I just… I wasn’t expecting to see you there. It threw me off, and all of my words and thoughts got all jumbled up in my head while I tried to keep my eyes off of my insanely hot girlfriend.”

“Trust me when I tell you that you were fine,” the redhead promises you as she makes her way over to pop the bottle. “The idiot before you… I’m pretty sure he literally wandered in from off the street.”

“Did they only offer me the position because we’re-” you got to ask, but she cuts you off.

“They don’t know we’re together,” Melissa tells you. “You did not get offered the position because we’re dating. You got the position because you are a wonderful teacher, and Barbara pushed for you.”

“You had nothing to do with it?” you raise a brow.

“I stayed pretty quiet while they were talking,” your girlfriend says. “I even made sure I threw in a comment about how I wouldn’t learn your name until I was certain you were going to stay. They have no idea.”

You smile at her. “Then, a celebratory dinner we’ll be having… and then…”

Green eyes meet yours with a glint of mischief in them. “What?”

“And then, I want to be your dessert.”

Melissa’s eyes go wide, and she nods eagerly. “If that’s what you want, you know I’m always more than happy to make that happen… Might even have to go in for seconds after today’s accomplishment.”

The rest of summer passes in a warm haze. It’s filled with love, lazy days, and excitement as you plan for the upcoming school year with your girlfriend. But the days of lazing out at a pool or staying inside and binge watching your shows to beat the heat are quickly coming to an end. Melissa and you still haven’t talked about how you’re going to interact with each other at the school- especially now that the two of you have moved in together.

“Hun?” you call from the bedroom as you put on makeup for dinner tonight. It’s your last hurrah before the two of you really have to start focusing on the school year.

“What?” Melissa’s voice floats into the room as she waits for you downstairs.

When you don’t respond in hopes that she just comes into the room, she sighs and gets to her feet. She appears in the doorway a few seconds later, a soft look in her eyes as she watches you ready yourself.

“What’s up, mi amore?” she asks as she makes her way over to you. Her arms wrap around your shoulders, and she presses a gentle kiss to your hair before resting her chin on your shoulder.

“You know what I just realized?”

“What?”

“We never discussed how we were going to act at school.”

“Shit.”

Dinner is spent discussing that the two of you will have to work together due to the fact that you’re both on the second grade team, but your relationship at school will stay professional. You know that you can stay professional, but it’s going to be interesting to see the hard ass persona that Melissa likes to put on in front of her coworkers as opposed to the sweet and kindhearted woman that you know at home. It’s going to be jarring for sure- at least to start until it isn’t so suspicious that she likes the newbie. Once that’s squared away, the two of you enjoy a dinner that doesn’t revolve around lesson planning or any talks of school.

Development week is upon you, and you almost wish that you would’ve decided to just go into this job being out with Melissa, but you understand where she’s coming from with not telling HR that the two of you are together- at least not yet. And you genuinely do not want some sort of rumor to start that the only reason you got the position is because you’re dating one of the “scarier” teachers in the school. So, while you wish you were driving in with your girlfriend while she recites affirmations to you, you instead have to settle for driving in by yourself. You pull in next to her car, but she’s already inside- you know this much.

It’s weird when you head into the staff lounge. You’re so used to her making you coffee in the mornings, but today you have to fend for yourself. And while everyone else is cordial with you, your girlfriend is standoffish and cold, calling you by the wrong name on purpose and telling her coworkers she’ll bother to learn your name once you’ve proven that you aren’t just going to up and leave the first time things get hard for you (you catch the sympathetic glance she throws your way as she’s heading out with her friends for the meeting). 

Most of development week ends up being your principal just flirting with you and your girlfriend being as hostile as she is with other new hires. At night, once the two of you settle in together, she promises you that she loves you more than anything and she apologizes for her behavior and attitude towards you at school.

“I didn’t realize this was what I would be walking into at school,” you chuckle as she massages your back gently. “But I have to admit, seeing you like that… damn it’s hot.”

“You always think I’m hot,” she rolls her eyes as she begins to work on a new tense spot right by your shoulder.

“Well, I’m not wrong for that,” you half chuckle, half groan. “But I always get to see sweet soft Lissa, and at school you’re a total badass.”

“I’m a total badass in front of literally everyone except for you,” she tells you as she kisses the slope of your neck. “I don’t know why, but you melt me like butter.”

“Well, ain’t I lucky then?”

“I’d say I’m the lucky one,” she throws right back at you.

Your days at your new job continue on like that, and so do your nights. During the day, Melissa is nothing but a bitch to you and offering you apologetic glances when she can. And at home, your girlfriend is the sweetest woman, even more sweet than usual because she feels so guilty that she can’t treat you like the amazing woman that you are in your place of work.

But that changes when the kids start their school year. Because your classrooms are right next to each other, she has a front row seat to see just how talented you are when it comes to working with your kids. She observes how much effort you put into their daily routines, how you explicitly state your expectations and hold them to it, and how you manage behaviors within your classroom, all while still getting them settled in for the school year.

It’s at lunch on the first day that she softens up on you just the slightest bit. You’re sitting at one of the tables by yourself when she and Barbara comes strolling in.

“Ah, Y/N, dear,” the kindergarten teacher smiles at you. “How is your first day with the kids going?”

You break out into a grin. “Honestly? I’m loving it. These kids, while they all have their challenges, like any kids, are absolutely precious. I already have a handful of drawings sitting on my desk to be hung up on the bulletin board behind my desk.”

“That’s great to hear,” Barb tells you as she pulls her lunch out of the fridge.

“Wow, newbie,” Melissa’s eyes sparkle just enough that you can tell. “Better than I expected.”

“And how did you expect my first day to go?” you challenge her to act. She had told you this morning in bed that she knew you were going to be just what Abbott needs, but could she play it off that she thought you were going to crash and burn now?

The redhead shrugs. “Most newbies run out of here with their middle fingers up and crying.”

“Well, that won’t be me. Thank you very much Miss Schemmenti,” you shrug as you take a bite of your salad (the one that she had prepared for you last night).

“Good,” is all she huffs out as she sits down to eat her own lunch. “Abbott needs some stability.”

That night at home, it’s an early night. The first days, and even the first weeks, of school are utterly exhausting.

“I meant what I said when most people leave with their middle fingers up and crying,” Melissa sighs as she lays her head on your chest. “But you, my dear? I never had a doubt in my mind that you would be the perfect addition to the Abbott team. And I saw how great you were with your kids today. They’re lucky to have you.”

“Just as your little eagles are lucky to have you,” you chuckle softly as you begin to run your fingers through her hair.

Slowly, Melissa’s tougher than nails demeanor shifts. She begins to treat you like she treats Janine, although it is different. But that’s because the two of you are hiding a relationship, unlike with Janine. It’s nice. And at home, she’s still as loving as ever and even still apologizing for not treating you the way she should at school.

“When are we going to tell them that we’re together?” you ask casually as you’re looking over the weekly plans.

She hums. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“I just don’t want anyone to think that I only got the job because we’re dating and you were in my interview. I know you said that Barb was the one who pushed for me, but…”

“If you want to wait a bit, we can.”

You’ve settled into teaching at Abbott quite nicely. Your coworkers love you, Melissa has only continued to soften up at you at school, even calling you by your real name now. You have to say, you love this job. It’s the best job that you’ve had in quite some time, and that includes when you worked in more affluent areas. These kids just… get it. The staff is like an odd, dysfunctional family. And you get to see your girlfriend at work everyday. It’s almost perfect.

The reason it isn’t perfect? Your boss, Ava Coleman, flirts with you constantly. She finds reason to be in your room more often than not, and whenever you’re all having lunch, there’s some excuse for her to end up in the staff room with you.

Melissa, of course, is well aware that your principal is constantly trying to hit on you. You let most of her comments roll off of you, but some just have you shaking your head at the things she insinuates.

“Ava,” you finally sigh one day after seeing the absolute death glare that Melissa is sending her way. Oh, if looks could kill. “Quit flirting with me.”

“And why would I do that, boo?”

“Because you’re in a relationship,” you roll your eyes as her own eyes scan over you.

The woman shrugs. “And? It’s open.”

“And I have a girlfriend who I know for a fact would not, and does not like the fact that you are constantly trying to get with me,” you reveal.

Everyone looks at you in surprise at that admission. Everyone except for Melissa, who angrily stabs at the salad she’s got out for lunch (the salad that you lovingly packed her this morning).

“You have a girlfriend?” Jacob is quick to cut into the conversation. You just nod. “How did I not know?”

“I don’t know, Jacob,” you breathe out. “I don’t really go around announcing it to people.”

“But there are usually signs!” your coworker protests.

At that, you shrug.

“Who’s to say that your girlfriend wouldn’t be into it?” Ava directs the conversation back her way.

You glance to Melissa, who won’t even look up from her meal. “Just trust me when I tell you, my girlfriend does not appreciate the fact that you flirt with me.”

“Well, what’s her name?” Janine asks from her corner of the room. “I wanna meet her!”

You laugh at that. “Lissa,” you tell them. And nobody figures out that that’s the nickname you have for the redhead in the room. Everybody at Abbott, or at least everybody who has been deemed worthy of calling her by a nickname, calls her “Mel”.

“Alyssa?” Mr. Johnson makes his own presence known. “She hot?”

Your ears turn pink. “I wouldn’t be dating her if I didn’t think she was. But enough about me,” you try to diffuse the situation. “Can we-”

Ava turns to you after a few seconds of scrolling through her phone. “You don’t know no ‘Alyssa’.”

“What do you mean?” you raise a brow in her direction.

The principal shoves her phone in your face. “I just looked through Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, even your Venmo for anyone under that name. There ain’t nobody there. You making a girlfriend up so I stop flirtin’ with you, ain’t you?”

“I am very much not,” you reply. “I do have a girlfriend.”

Ava hums. “I don’t believe you, but if that’s the story we’s goin’ with, sure thing, baby boo. Just give me a call when you decide that you want a piece of this fine-”

“Enough!” Melissa finally shouts. “Enough!”

“Woah,” the principal’s eyes go wide as she stares at the redhead. All other heads in the room whip around to look at the second grade teacher sitting next to you. “What’s got your panties in a twist? I’m just flirting with-”

“Flirting with my girlfriend!” your girlfriend explodes. “Quit flirting with my girl, unless you want me to take Edith Houghton to your damned head!”

As if to prove a point, Melissa grabs your hand and shows it off. “She’s mine,” the woman practically growls. “And I swear to God, if you make one more comment towards my girlfriend about how hot she is or about how you want her- I will make you regret it!”

Ava’s eyes go wide, and her hands fly up so quickly in surrender that her phone drops to the floor. “Shit. Okay.”

Everybody else can only watch in slight horror as the redhead continues to point her fork in your boss’s direction. 

“Listen, I just thought that-”

“You thought wrong,” Melissa grits out. “Not another word out of you about her.”

“Okay, okay,” Ava backs down. “Damn, Schemmenti. Good on you though. She-”

You have to practically hold your girlfriend back as she goes to lunge at the principal. 

Ava quickly runs out of the room and back into her office, coffee forgotten and probably fearing for her life at this point.

Melissa huffs and rights her shirt before holding your hand again and taking a deep breath. You ground her quickly with a few squeezes to the hand in your own. She pulls her chair closer to yours and drops your hand before wrapping an arm around you and silently daring anybody to make any comments about the outburst that had just taken place.

You see the way that they’re all staring at you and your girlfriend though, so you just settle for a weak, “Surprise?”

TAGS: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo

[iloveyoulikexo]

Ava/Janine?? Melissa/Barbara??

Jacob/Gregory!?!?!?

Also please don't check my tags I'm insane

"not expected" "new pairings" "things that make people uncomfortable" "things that people arent going to expect" yall dont get my hopes up now

[day-dreamed]

i wanna dance with somebody

melissa schemmenti x f!reader

summary: during karaoke night with the abbott crew, tensions rise to a new height between you and the red head.

tags: s4e17, alcohol consumption, karaoke, mutual pining, pet names (hon, sweetheart), kissing, let’s pretend that the whole thing with captain robinson never happened LOL

word count: 1.3k

author’s note: thank u sm for reading! •ᴗ•

The second you walk into the bar for karaoke night, you pull Jacob and Janine aside. 

“You guys, I don’t think I can do this.” You’re panicking. It’s engulfing you, making your heart pound heavily against your ribcage. “I can’t—I have to go home.” 

They both shake their heads. “Come on, just stay!” Janine exclaims, bumping your shoulder. “It’s gonna be fine. And you have to sing the song that you chose.” 

“Janine’s right. Besides, we both know you’re going to crush it,” Jacob says. 

The thought of doing that in front of not only everyone you work with, but especially Melissa Schemmenti, has you wishing that you could crawl into a hole in the ground and hide. 

“Fine,” you sigh, trying to ignore the feeling of dread settling like a weight on your shoulders. “But I’m only doing it because I love you two.” 

Janine opens her mouth to respond, but something catches her eye. When you see who she’s looking at, your stomach erupts with butterflies. It’s Melissa and Barbara. You can’t help but notice that the red head looks absolutely incredible tonight. Your eyes follow her as they walk in the other direction, like a moth to a flame.

“They’re here already, that’s great,” Janine says. The conversation takes a welcome turn and Jacob becomes the next topic of discussion, along with a guy that he has his eyes on. “Oh! Why don’t you go say hi? He’s a little cutie patootie,” she smiles.

Jacob’s face scrunches up. “Cuties are everywhere. It’s gonna take a lot more than being the cutest cutie to ever patoot to turn the head of Jacob Hill.”

“Okay,” Janine responds, her gaze turning into one of playful suspicion. “Then why is your neck in owl mode right now?”

“That’s because I’m—Because I’m checking out—”

You wiggle your eyebrows. “Oh, I see. Go do your thing, Hill.”

He rolls his eyes in mock exasperation and makes his way over to the bar to escape further teasing. You turn to Janine. “Hey, I’m gonna grab a drink and then head over to see the rest of the group, wanna come with?” 

“That’s alright, I actually see Erika walking in now… with Simon?” 

“Good luck,” you say before leaving her to deal with whatever kind of mess that will be.

When you walk in after having ordered a beer, Barbara, Melissa, Jacob, and Mr. Johnson are already there. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of Mel. You aren’t sure how long your heart will be able to take being in the same room with her while she looks like that. 

They all smile when you approach them. “Hey, hon,” Mel nudges your shoulder. “You ready to get up there and sing for us?” 

“Not until I’ve had a few drinks,” you mumble, cheeks growing warm as you duck your head. 

She snorts. “You and me both.”

“So, who’s singing first?” you ask. 

“We are!” 

The group turns to look as Erika and Simon walk in, Janine following behind them. The couple goes up to the stage and puts their song on. When the singing starts, everybody cringes except for Janine, who’s dancing along in the front row.

Barbara looks exasperated. “How are they still attracted to one other after hearing each other sing? If Gerald even burps off key, I’m not looking at him for a week.” 

“Hey Mr. Johnson! All of these songs are in Korean,” Mel complains, and when you lean over her shoulder you find that she is, in fact, correct. 

“I know that! I’m BTS army,” he replies.

“What’re you gonna sing?” you ask her, shifting away from her and instantly missing the warmth she radiates. 

She grins at you, and the way her eyes sparkle makes your stomach flip. “That is a question for the me that is living three drinks in the future, sweetheart.”  

“I will get us some new drinks!” Jacob exclaims, jumping up from his seat.

You continue to cringe at Erika and Simon’s singing and laugh at the way Janine records them on her phone like she’s at the concert of a famous pop star. By the time their duet finally ends and Barbara has finished as well, your breath has started to come out in quick gasps and your palms have turned sweaty. You keep wiping them off on your jeans, but to no avail. 

“You okay?” Mel asks as she stumbles over to you. “You look a little nauseous.” 

“I…” you trail off, your heartbeat thundering in your ears. “Take me out of the queue, Mel. I can’t, I—I’m too nervous.”  

“C’mon, you’ll do great! And if it makes you feel better you can keep your eyes on me the whole time, alright?”

You gulp. “Okay,” you breathe out shakily.

As you walk up to the screen, microphone in hand, you attempt to steel your nerves even though you know it’s useless. When the first notes of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston start to play you lock eyes with Melissa, trying to use the other’s cheers as a confidence booster. By the time it’s over, it feels like everything has become muffled, like you’re experiencing everything from underwater. Your coworkers are praising your singing, but all you can focus on is the way Melissa is looking at you. The smile that she had previously worn has been wiped from her face, her eyes are filled with something you can’t decipher and her cheeks have turned red. 

A lump forms in your throat and you shake your head. “Excuse me, sorry, I—I have to go to the bathroom,” you manage to squeak out, squeezing yourself between Janine and Barbar in order to make room for an exit.

You rush through the bar and make your way to the bathroom, letting your head fall into your hands once you’ve found yourself inside an empty stall. Tears fill your eyes as you think of your stupidity. What must Mel be thinking right now? She probably hates you. The thought makes your shoulders heave with silent sobs. 

When you hear the door open, you freeze, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. Your breath catches at the sound of Melissa saying your name. She’s not slurring her words like she was ten minutes ago. No, now she sounds completely sober.

“Are you okay?” 

Those three words make you let out a watery laugh. “I’m fine.” 

“You don’t sound fine to me,” she says quietly. 

“Please leave me alone, Mel,” you beg her. “I can’t do this with you. Not right now. Not like this.” 

“Do what?” 

You sigh and open the stall door, focusing your gaze on the tiled floor beneath your shoes. “I saw the way you were looking at me, after. You… God, you must hate me right now.” 

Melissa takes a step closer to you. “Kid, is that really what you think?” 

Your head snaps up. “What?” you breathe out.

“I don’t hate you,” she huffs out a laugh and shakes her head, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. 

This can’t be happening. You think that this must be a dream, that you’ll wake up and realize none of this was real. But the heat you feel from the press of her palm against your cheek says otherwise. 

“Mel…”

Her lips are soft when they press against yours. Your heart races at the gentle way she kisses you, taking her time and savoring the moment, as if she wants to commit it to memory. The world around you ceases to exist and it’s just the two of you. It feels like you were meant to be in each other’s arms, the way puzzle pieces are meant to fit together. You’re both panting when she pulls away and leans her forehead against yours. 

“Wow,” you mumble. It’s all you can think to say. 

Mel chuckles, a twinkle in her eyes. “That good, huh?” You groan, your face feeling like it’s on fire. “Hey, I’m only teasing, hon. Whaddaya say we head back out there? Maybe we could duet Poker Face,” she grins.

“Melissa!”

[mandy-asimp]

A simp's list of stories

(my masterlist :D)

✫- smut ୨ৎ- fluff 𖦹- angst

Abbott Elementary:

With a smile ( ୨ৎ 𖦹)

Melissa Schemmenti x OC (Claire) Summary: Claire has a crush on a specific redhead and it only seemed to have gotten worst over their friendship. After 5 years of friendship, dreams begin to become more persistent.

The Two Year Teacher (✫୨ৎ)

Melissa Schemmenti x reader (Y/N) Summary: Y/N is a very big CEO of her own company. And when her daughter comes home talking about her teacher she’s had for the second year in a row, Y/N just goes with it. but when she meets a red head at the grocery store, she never would've put her as a teacher. Then when Y/N's daughter gets into a mishap, a lot happens

Heartaches, and Other Aches (✫୨ৎ)

Melissa Schemmenti x reader (Y/N) Summary: Working on the furthest side of Abbott meant you avoided the cameras a lot. Especially when you would always have everything you need in your classroom. But the inevitable day came when you needed to journey to the teachers lounge.

Random Confessions (୨ৎ)

Melissa Schemmenti x OC (Alex) Summary: For two years Melissa had alway believed Alex hated her. Then one day, everything she's known is thrown out the window by a simple confession.

Forever Home ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Melissa Schemmenti x reader (Y/N) Summary: When you hush Melissa in defense of Janine, Melissa begins to let herself slip into her own thoughts. Yet, without noticing her actions, she hurts you in doing so.

Fast Lane (✫𖦹୨ৎ)

Melissa Schemmenti x OC (Phoebe) Summary: Melissa is dating one of NASCAR's greatest drivers, although nobody knows that. Yet, with the race that decides history appears, a lot more stress is arising for Phoebe.

Redecorating Your Heart (୨ৎ)

Melissa Schemmenti x reader (Y/N) Summary: You begin to make changes to Melissa's home, but one year you have a different change in mind

Criminal Minds:

Safe and Sound ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Emily Prentiss x reader (Y/N) Summary: Emily begins to see your face around more, but it's impossible. You were dead. But when Ian Doyle is rumored to escape, you couldn't stay dead forever.

Needed Me ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Emily Prentiss x reader (Y/N (they/them)) Summary: When the job grows too hard for Emily, Rossi comes and seeks Y/N for help. Knowing if there was anyone to soothe her better than him, it was them.

A Game for Two (✫)

Emily Prentiss x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: Y/N is the youngest agent on the team with a TikTok account. And after video goes viral, people notice a connection between her and emily.

Baby Whisper ( ୨ৎ )

Jennifer Jareau x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: JJ finds out she's pregnant and when Will doesn't want the baby, she finds herself crying in the parking garage. Yet, Y/N is there to solve all her issues.

Florida Secrets (✫)

Jennifer Jareau x reader Summary: The team takes a vacation to Florida, and you're paired with the blonde of your dreams. Which isn't an issue until out of the state with alcohol in your system. After all, what happens in Florida, stays in Florida.

Shut Up and Dance (୨ৎ)

Aaron Hotchner x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: One night while out with the team, Y/N and Hotch seem to be entirely carefree when their song comes on.

After Hours (✫)

Emily Prentiss x reader x Aaron Hotchner Summary: You stayed late in the office, Emily was your ride and she was still doing paper work. Being bored, you had started a solo dance party...only it didn't stay solo for long.

Marvel:

The Innocent Act (୨ৎ)

Wanda Maximoff x reader Summary: Y/N has been in Wanda’s class all four year, and in her final year she starts to get lost in the history of the language. asking for extra help but on the wrong day with the wrong outfit. Wanda, who’s kept control, finally lets free and speaks her mind. A/n~ looking back on this one is actually insane, like this was my first on this app!

Underneath the tree ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Wanda Maximoff x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: Y/N goes home for the holidays. The comfort of home being destroyed by her girlfriend. But soon, after hearing a conversation, Y/N finally falls the shots. And there was someone always waiting for her.

Sacrifice ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

pt. 1 l pt. 2 Wanda Maximoff x reader (Y/N) Summary: Wanda shows up to Kamar-Taj, but she finds something more desired. Something she lost back with Thanos. Her love.

It's a beautiful night (୨ৎ)

Wanda Maximoff x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: While performing at her concert, Y/N has a confession to make.

High school Party (୨ৎ)

Natasha Romanoff x reader (Y/N) Summary: You never were one for high school. at least for the first three years. senior year was your year. But the only thing you couldn't pick out, was Natasha Romanoff. However, one party was all it took.

Winning the witches ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

pt. 1 l pt. 2 Wanda Maximoff x reader x Agatha Harkness Summary: Agatha came to collect the power. Wanda came to get the life she always wanted. Y/N came to protect herself.

Late Night Dancing ( ୨ৎ 𖦹)

Agatha Harkness x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: Y/N is a gamer and plays among us because that's what I was feeling and is dating Agatha who is a big CEO but their relationship is exposed one night.

Curiosity (୨ৎ ✫)

Lilia Calderu x reader Summary: Your an inspiring actress who tends to have late rehearsals. And having no car, you had resorted to a the train. But then one night you meet a mysterious woman who captures your curiosity instantly.

Cards and Clay (୨ৎ ✫)

Lilia Calderu x reader Summary: You move into town and start a new pottery place, you bring in much business and are pleased with your tiny living. Or so you think that's what's happening

When She Calls (masterlist) (୨ৎ 𖦹 ✫)

Lilia Calderu x reader (Life (she/her)) Summary: When Life is asked to make a promise, she doesn't seem to be able to say no. But that promise was going to be served out so much longer than what she could see.

Basement of mysteries (୨ৎ 𖦹 ✫)

Agatha Harness x reader Summary: As Wanda Maximoff's oldest, you just graduated college and your summer living situation brings much more than just your hot neighbor down the hall.

Wednesday:

winter getaway (✫୨ৎ)

Larissa Weems x reader (Y/N) Summary: Y/n and Larissa Weems have never interacted unless needed. Which was almost everyday as Y/n had to explain why a random plant or tree had appeared in the courtyard. So when a friend convinces Y/n out of the comfort zone at the school getaway, many things happen.

sex in the flowers (✫୨ৎ)

Larissa Weems x reader (Y/N) Summary: You haven't been in the game long, but when you met Larissa Weems, your life changed. And after a few months of meeting, you quits your job. On the last meeting you have, you try to tell her but Larissa just wont listen.

sensitive baby ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Larissa Weems x reader Summary: As the first hybrid teacher at Nevermore, you did everything you could to find your place. Which included taking charge to plan the Raven.

School For Good and Evil:

you're all mine ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Leonora Lesso x reader (Y/N (she/her) Summary: Y/N was meant to be an Ever, but what happens as she becomes a Never?

Dragons Oh My! ( 𖦹 ୨ৎ )

Leonora Lesso x reader (Y/N Summary: Y/N and Lesso have been dating for a long time, but the three words have never been said, always implied. One day Y/N is with the other ever teachers and gets upset at their conversation.

Other's:

an interview online (୨ৎ)

Sandra Bullock x reader (Y/N (she/her)) Summary: During the pandemic,Y/N and Sandra decide to move in after a few years of datings. And what better time than a pandemic. With their relationship hidden from the world, a single shadow could finally bring light to them.

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Being Their Younger Sibling And Part Of The Boys

Requested: Hi! Cliche preference I am sorry, but how would each of The Boys act if R their younger sibling who helps out with the boys is like this really sweet and genuinely nice person to all? Would they be protective, or annoyed, just an idea! Love your work! - anon

A/N: Not cliche at all my love! I absolutely adore this idea! I will 10000% be writing more about being Homelanders sibling!! Thank youuuu I hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜

Butcher wants nothing to do with you. When you're old enough, years after Lenny's death, you escape home and track down Billy. You had nothing. Billy took you in under the guise that it would be temporary and it wouldn't meddle with his work. Bit by bit you learned from M.M. and Frenchie about Becca and Ryan and Vought. You make it known you want to help. Billy forbids you and threatens The Boys: if they even so much as look at you, he'll kill them. Stubbornness runs in the family, though. You worm your way in whether he likes it or not. It's not that didn't miss you or think about you, he just can't bear the thought of you getting hurt. Or killed. Especially at the hands of Vought. It's become a habit for everyone to call him Butcher and you Little Butcher so as not to get confused. Now that there's two of you to keep track of, everyone's a little more annoyed and a lot less forgiving for poor behavior.

Hughie worries about you so much. This life has taken everything from him, he can't imagine why you'd want to join. Still, he knows he can't stop you. You were always coming to his defense as kids, sticking up for him against bullies. You were his backbone for a lot of your childhood. When you want something you go for it. He can't help but lecture you, even over the smallest stuff. After your father passes and your mother finds her way into your lives, he's extra protective. Especially after Tek Knights party, he doesn't let you out of his sight. He's not glad it happened, but he sure is grateful it was him and not you. You've been stabbed and hurt and nearly killed. He jokes that it's taken years off hid life, but there's some truth to it. You're all he's got. He can't lose you. He can't let this life kill you.

Annie stopped talking to your mother a long time ago, but she never stopped calling you. Like your sister, you got a dose of V and trained hard, wanting to be the first pair of siblings in The Seven. After Annie publicly leaves and turns her back on them, you're not sure what to think. Tired of her avoiding the questions, you confront her. You track her down and barge into where The Boys are. You guys get into a pretty serious fight, one everyone can hear through the thin walls. Annie abandoned you. She left Vought and became this fantastical symbol. She had a life and you weren't a part of it. You wanted her to stop lying and avoiding you and tell you exactly what was going on. It takes most of the night, but she tells you everything. In the end, she wants to send you back home with your mother, but you refuse. The Boys need every advantage they can get, that includes you and your abilities. She's not thrilled, but she understands you're an adult, she can't stop you.

M.M. forbids you. Janine is getting into trouble and he's having panic attacks and he just can't have you trying this now. He can't babysit you on top of everything else. You remind him you're an adult, that you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. He can yell and scream all he wants, you both know you're not going to stop wanting this. It was your grandfather and father too who were killed by Supes and the stress. You didn't walk away from that unscathed. You had a right to be upset and a right to want to stop Vought. You kept your distance, but Marvin was blowing you off any chance he could get. You got his address from Monique and made a surprise appearance. Butcher tells you everything. You're furious your brother didn't tell you sooner. You could have been a part of this from the beginning. Butcher reminds you it's never too late, but Marvin tells you to go home and leave it to the professionals. You don't. You can't. This is too important. He doesn't like it, but he can't stop you. He never could.

Frenchie couldn't have been happier to have you in his life. Your upbringing was harsh, your father a monster. When he left for New York, he had to make a choice: leave you behind or take you along with him. In the end, he left you behind. The guilt killed him, but you never blamed him. Not then, not now. You learned a lot from him, you're as equally as skilled. As soon as he becomes a part of The Boys, he asks Mallory to look for you. You vanished though. He'd assumed your father had killed you. It isn't until years later that you reappear looking for him, for Serge. You might not have an entire team of powers and knowledge, buy you're smart and skilled and you track him down. He doesn't recognize you at first. You're so much more grown up. But he knows your voice. You're the only one who calls him Serge and most of your conversations are entirely in French. Neither of you are particularly proud of your pasts, choosing instead to live in the moment. When you ask if you can join him he's over the moon. His baby, his best friend, reunited again.

Kimiko can't believe it's you. Like your sister, you and Kenji were captured by the SLLA. Then you and Kimiko were later taken and given Compound V. After that you two were split up. She never thought you made it. It's years later that you escape, killing everyone in your path. Police plaster your face all over the News where Kimiko recognizes you immediately. You're older of course, but you'd always be her baby. She can't let it happen all over again like how it went with Kenji, she can't lose you. Kimiko hunts you down, alongside The Boys, who are wary of you. She assured them you couldn't hurt a fly. The carnage you leave in your wake tells a different story. When you do reconnect, she makes sure they don't draw any of their weapons. You two sign for what feels like forever before she takes you back to The Boys hideout. It hurts her, but she wants to know what happened in all the years between. You and your sister are unstoppable. Literally. You were never meant to have normal lives. This was how it was supposed to be. Trying to be normal just got you hurt.

Bonus! Homelander absolutely fucking hates you. You were created long after him, but you had the same upbringing, the same childhood. The only anomaly was that you turned out far more humane. Because of this, Vought needed extra time to break you in. You never did, though. Not as severely as your brother. Vought was going to turn your debut into this grand political scheme, a massive fuck you to anyone who thought they could stop them, but before they could, you broke out of the labs. Eventually you found your way to The Boys. You and Homelander have identical abilities, though you're not layering through people's skulls or letting entire planes worth of people die. None of them believed you at first, but after you told them about your upbringing and your powers, they had no choice but to believe you. You were exactly what they needed. You and your brother were equals. John wanted you dead just like he wanted the rest of The Boys dead. Keeping you alive was necessary for now. So, he let you live.

[clay-pidgeon]

you should have to go through an extensive screening process before writing a heterosexual relationship

some people dont understand the genuine horror and tragedy of liking sitcoms but not liking hackneyed straight romance plots. do you have any idea how we suffer