#especially cuz both of them are so particular and so different from me or anything I’ve written before so idk if I could dip in their heads
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Andrew having piercings is so right and real in my mind that every time I remember that it’s not canon it makes me pause.
But we know it’s not canon, bc if it was, then we’d have at least 15 paragraphs all about them and their placements and the way the light glints off them from Neil’s obsessed ass lmfao
#oh dudes I miss them so much#I loved every bit of them I got from tgr but boi I needed more 😭#I feel like I’m on the edge of maybe writing fic for them but idk#I love them so much I’m terrified of not doing them justice#especially cuz both of them are so particular and so different from me or anything I’ve written before so idk if I could dip in their heads#and voices accurately enough#mhmmm much to think about#aftg#Andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#aftg trk#tfc#tkm#aftg tkm
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So I was rewatching limited life cuz I had a bit of time to kill and its the series I havn't rewatched lately and when I took a small break to get some food Grifters by Charming Disaster came up on my Playlist and I can't tell if it's a good Mean Gills song or if there's just a couple of lines and it's mostly time association
I- yes. Absolutely, yes. There is possibly no song better for the Mean Gills. Yes. This is perfect. I cannot tell you how often I envision them dancing to this song in my free time.
Let's of course start with the chorus, "with your skills and my good looks" being sung by both Ellia and Jeff is so so perfect, because Martyn and Scott both think of themselves as the pretty one who shouldn't be doing all the work and they also both have so much respect for the other's skills. Also, "those fish'll be begging for the hook" they are both fish men. Those are fish men. I know that Martyn is a pirate coral man, but they are fish people. They live on the sea. They are fish.
Verse 1 is extremely Martyn. It gives off some Scott vibes, too, but Martyn is the one who makes his whole thing lying and cheating people in and out of deals. "Take 'em for what they've got before they leave you" is SO Martyn, especially after he spoke about how he was originally planning to betray Ren if they had ended up the finalists in 3rd Life AND that being exactly how the ending of Limited Life played out.
Verse 2 has looser connections, in my opinion, but "I was born to live the life of leisure" makes sense for both of them. I mean, Scott is literally a classic elven prince in ESMP S1. It doesn't get much more luxurious than that. Martyn is a little more complicated. He's not the ruler of anything, nor does he often write his characters in a way that puts himself in an initial position of great wealth or power. However, in Pirates SMP, yet another SMP where Scott is in a position of wealth and luxury, it's no coincidence that Martyn ended up a Kestral, the faction known for its greed. He may not have started wealthy, but he, personally, aligned himself with the faction that seeks out luxury. While Pirates SMP Martyn and Limited Life Martyn are, of course, different people, they're still based on the same person. They're both still inherently Martyn. He has that fight for comfort in him.
Verse 3 talks about double crossing people. That's literally the climax of the finale of Limited Life. It is the number one way that the Mean Gills are doomed. Their eyes are everywhere but each other, because they made this bed and will lie in it if that is what it comes down to. "You may plan to double cross me (Slip a dagger in their back) // But I'm sticking with this horse // If the con is long enough it doesn't matter". Perfect. Self-explanatory. Does my job for me.
Verse 4 has "And some call me a snake // To others, I'm the closest of their friends", which I find is a great descriptor for Martyn in particular. In character, Martyn loves to lie to get the upper hand, but he is a devout ally through and through. On Scott's end, that man is sneaky. That man's got tricks, but there are also people (Cleo, Etho, Pearl, Impulse, Ren, etc.) who trust him whole-heartedly so long as an alliance has been established.
The bridge, then, in its entirety, revolves around uncertain yearning. That's, like, the entirety of Mean Gills. Whether you interpret that yearning to be between each other or through Scott & Jimmy and Martyn & Ren doesn't matter. Those two yearn, whether with love or bloodlust or victory; it consumes them.
TLDR; uhhh yes Grifters by Charming Disaster is the perfect song for Mean Gills from every single angle you could possibly look at them from.
#trafficblr#smajor#smajor1995#scott smajor#martyn inthelittlewood#inthelittlewood#limited life#llsmp#im not tagging this with limited life spoilers y'all had actual years#fish asks#thank you for the ask!🩵
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Thanks for tagging me @little-desi-historian! ❤️
YES, all of this takes me back to something I wanted to touch a lot more on in my original post when it comes to the historical male image, Percy, Lestat, and Matadors; because it truly does link back to how AMC is playing with dandyism and society's expectations about effeminate men.
Dandyism is a form of resistance culture. As I've said before, Lestat flouts gender norms because HE CAN do whatever he wants & get away with it. His androgyny's on a different level: effeminate or masculine, he's still a vampire, a SUPERnatural creature elevated beyond the bounds of social mores that determine what men & women could or SHOULD act/dress like. MANY people across social media have pointed to Lestat's limp wrists, long blonde "Barbie" hair and ESPECIALLY him dressing in drag in Ep7 as proof that he's the "wife/mother/woman/femme fatale" in Lousta's relationship, and THEN claim its either gender essentialism or homophobic/racist to say Louis is CANONICALLY female-coded one in BOTH the books and show (as AR said so). But no, Lestat in drag was a power move, because he doesn't care what anyone thinks/says/does--he'll just eat them. Mockingly eating the baby in a dress was a deliberate bastardization of motherhood/womanhood. Louis is called every homophobic name in the book by those expecting the black man to just take being insulted, but MARQUIS de Lioncourt DEMANDS being crowned KING of Mardi Gras, Krewe of Raj, & he'll show you exactly what he thinks about your silly homophobic hypocritical human society: You're just "the MEAT," let them eat KING Cake--you're his FOOD. Eff y'all, I'm dressed to KILL you, & laugh doing it.
Lestat's behavior is not only derived from the time period he was born & raised in (the Rococo era of so-called "effeminate" high class dandies--a la Percy Blakeney, etc). Lestat is the embodiment of PRIVILEGE: a powerful rich white male vampire, who leans into being foreign/French White to excuse anything he does that people find strange/off/unnatural/dangerous--all the red flags. 🚩🚩🚩
And red flags brings me directly back to matadors/toreros.

@toscrollperchancetomeme
😂 TYSM! Sam Reid dropped so many juicy deets; I couldn't resist! There's so much depth to the Matador outfit, beyond the gendered aspect of bullfighting that I discussed before. Let's go back to what Sam said about Lestat, and delve deeper into matadors:

The most iconic apparel worn by toreros ("bullfighters") / matador de toros ("killer of bulls") in Spanish bullfighting is the Traje de Luces, the "Suit of Lights." The colors are usually bright & vivid, as part of the showmanship & pizzazz. Darker palettes are less common, as shiny sequins (the luces/lights) became part of the standard fit.

However, Lestat's all-black Matador outfit from what Sam called the "villain sequence" in Ep5 seems to be loosely following the style of a different but very closely related outfit, the Traje Campero "Rural/Countryside Suit" aka Traje Corto ("Short Suit").



(These costumes are typically worn during ceremonial parades and a very specific festival I'll get back to in a moment, cuz it's important.) Unlike the Suit of Light's sequins & silk, the Rural Suit is made of suede, leather, or velvet, in dark muted colors. The pants can be light or dark, striped & patterned, with or without chaps (also found in gentleman's uniforms of military officers and cowboys).
The trajes originated from "the flamboyant costumes of the 18th-century dandies and showmen involved in bullfighting, which later became exclusive to the bullfighting ritual." (Wikipedia)
The ancestor of both trajes (luces/campero) is traditional 17th-19th century Andalusian clothing (Andalusia being the home of Spanish bullfighting), closely associated with a very particular type of masculine dandyism. (The campero/corto is also the costume worn by Andalusian male flamenco dancers.)
"Before the 17th century the profession of bullfighting did not exist as such, and the fighters did not wear luxurious & shiny trajes de luces, but instead normal clothes of the time according to the social class to which the bullfighter belonged. The first bullfighter trajes de toreros appeared in the 17th century, when professional bullfighters from Navarre & Andalusia wore characteristic garments with their gangs to participate in performances and thus differentiate themselves from other bullfighter bands." (translated/truncated from Spanish website)
In the mid-1700s, Francisco Romero revolutionized professional bullfighting by establishing the first matadors who fought on foot, heroically fighting the bull face to face with swords & the muleta (iconic red flag) in a dance-like performance, dressed in a suede/velvet coleto (jacket), a precursor to the traje campero. Romero (from a carpenter family) wanted to show off & stand out from the nobility, and changed the game entirely, through a form of social resistance-turned-innovation.
"At that time, bullfighting on horseback was more important, which was considered a sport and not a show. Bullfighting on foot was not yet widely recognized." (translated from Spanish website)
Bull-killing on horseback was practiced by Spanish noblemen, attended by lower class assistants on foot. Romero was the first to make on-foot matadors the stars of what was increasingly becoming a dandified show/performance/dance. Matador Joaquin "Costillares" Rodríguez introduced even more showmanship, competing against Francisco Romero's grandson Pedro Romero (famously painted by Goya--bottom right).
For his matches, Costillares (middle) dressed in flashy silks, threaded in shiny silver braiding; the precursor to modern traje de luces. Like Francisco Romero (left), Costillares wanted to show off & stand out; and revolutionized the male image of the bullfighter through clothes.
In 18th-19th century Andalusian Spain there were 2 types of dandy: the French-imported upperclass petimetre (effeminate dandy), and the indigenous working class majo (masculine/macho dandy).
Noyes, Dorothy. “La Maja Vestida: Dress as Resistance to Enlightenment in Late-18th-Century Madrid.” The Journal of American Folklore 111, no. 440 (1998): 197–217. https://www.jstor.org/stable/541941
The majo, like many dandies, became the peak of Andalusian fashion, across all social classes; and torero/matador outfits weren't the only ones to take cues from them:

18th-19th century majos "distinguished themselves by their elaborate outfits and sense of style in dress and manners, as well as by their cheeky behavior. The majos outfits were exaggerations of traditional Spanish dress. The style stood in strong contrast to the French styles affected by many of the Spanish elite under the influence of the Enlightenment. Majos were known to pick fights with those they saw as afrancesados ("Frenchified" – fops)." (Wikipedia)
The majos' flamboyant/cheeky/saucy/exaggerated behavior was aggressively masculine; a lower/working class resistance to social mores imposed on them by (foreign) elites, whom they saw as more feminine, and FOUGHT against, to reaffirm their masculinity. These dandies were violent, brazen non-conformists; as beautiful & stylish as they were dangerous. And matadors/toreros knew that the bullfight was the perfect arena to exemplify the spirit of the majos through the dandified performance art/sport of killing bulls--a universal cultural symbol of masculine prowess & strength. Spanish bullfighting used to belong solely to the aristocratic equestrian sphere. Lowly pages/assistants like Francisco Romero (dressed in the precursor to the Rural/Countryside Suit), were the first to buck the system by killing bulls on foot--he likely didn't own a horse. The Romeros were from a carpenter family. Costillares was the son of a butcher. But through bullfighting they gained social status and became icons of masculinity--and dandies.
Lestat--the nouveau riche son of a poor country marquis--insists on being all the beautiful things he is without apology: masculine & effeminate alike. But like I said, it was no coincidence that Carol likened Lestat's Ep5 villain outfit with matadors--he's fighting Louis for dominance in their household, and reaffirming his place at the top of their very gendered social hierarchy, as a warning to BOTH "the housewife" AND "the prodigal daughter" he feels are threatening his authority as their Maker, so he defeats them BOTH.
Carol Cutshall initially designed Lestat's matador pants as pajamas--loungewear. (Lestat's CASUAL & comfortable in his ability to KILL--matador means "Killer" in Spanish--and remember what I said about Louis & Claudia being put on the same parallel level in Ep5, when Claudia's attacked by "Killer" aka Bruce.) Sam said Carol made several versions of the pants; and yup, they're foreshadowed in Ep5 when Lestat first starts arguing about Louis' depression, then they pop up again in Ep7 during the Murder Plot--two instances @dwreader brilliantly linked Lestat (& Stanley Kowalski) wearing wifebeaters. (Listen, Carol, I just wanna talk.... 😅🔫)
And here's my last points about Lestat's matador outfit. First there's the irony of Lestat (who grew up poor in rural France) wearing the something very similar to the matador/torero's Rural Suit, traje campero (aka Short Suit (traje corto)). But what's more interesting is that that type of Short/Rural Suit is usually only worn during special festivals called the Tienta ("trials"), not the regular corrida ("bullfights").
These Tienta are trials for young and immature bulls to be tested in the ring, to see if they're fit for breeding/fighting. 🤯 FLEDGLINGS. And who's Lestat's young bull? "Built-like-a-bird" Claudia. Who's the immature bull? The "biggest rat eater of them all," the under-developed "botched" vampire Louis. During these trials, veteran matadors can show off their skills; and novice bullfighters are shown the ropes and prove themselves. Like I said: the matador wins again.

God, even the way Lestat dragged Louis' bloody body out of the courtyard by the jaw/neck resembles the way the defeated bull--bled out & stabbed in the neck--is dragged by the neck out of the ring.

And remember what I said about Lestat and FOOD. Cuz what happens to the bulls after the matadors kill them? They're sent to the slaughterhouse to be butchered for FOOD. People EAT the bulls.
So yeah, my whole point in this post and my first one is not to sleep on guys like Lestat, Percy--or even other famous dandies like Valmont from Dangerous Liasions/Cruel Intentions (mentioned by both @little-desi-historian and @dwreader)--just because they're effeminate--especially when they're emulating mannerisms from a time period where the model of what made a fashionable gentlemen/good breeding/elite society did NOT match modern expectations about gender. People are getting distracted by Lestat's yaasified manner, not what the show itself is signalling through the relationships he has with others.
This show is deliberately painting Lestat as a villain through Louis' & Claudia's perspectives, as they were the ones who suffered under his Reign of Terror. The symbolism behind the matador-inspired costume used in Ep5 reflected gendered social hierarchies embedded within bullfighting culture (in Spain, women only started being allowed to fight in the 19th-20th centuries). Dressed in clothes resembling that of a matador, Lestat beating & defeating Louis mirrored the defeat of the emasculated bull, and the reification of the victor's masculine prowess at the top of the foodchain.
#the vampire lestat#male fashion#fashion history#gender inequality#read a dang history book#operation matador#iwtv tvc metas#lestat de lioncourt
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songs i associate with dbh characters / what i think their fav songs would be
pleasee share ur own thoughts & opinions id love to hear them!! and I need to ramble abt my dbh opinions to people (+templates if u wanna make ur own)
explaining my reasoning here if anyones curious
gavin: couldn't decide between rehab and in my feelings because theyre both just so him (and by that i mean fanon him cuz there really wasnt much to work on) 'in my feelings' because I can just imagine him to all' of the lyrics ('Sobbin' in my cup of coffee 'cause I fell for another loser' and 'Who's doper than this bitch, who's free-er than me' in particular) and rehab is a little looser of a connection, it stems from this story that ive been sorta writing that focuses on gavins relationship with alcohol aswell as his friendship with tina, and I just feel like rehab really captures his reluctance to give up the many different problems he has in the story like drinking, smoking & drugs rk900/nines: i dont really imagine he listens to music but but i kinda associate him with the pre-chorus in 'In my feelings' by LDR with the 'get that cigarette smoke out of my face' and the bridge with 'got me feeling so blue, making no sense at all, gotta leave right now' sooo duet with gavin...? 'shades of cool' (u may have noticed i like lana songs by now!!) also really matches nines IMO, the song is about her own pain and disappointment but but it also centers around this flawed love interest she wants to fix and understand, but ultimately can't, which to me just feels like nines and gavin, atleast in my own hc's (can you guess my fav ship yet) connor: whilst this song (a human's touch) could generally apply to all androids in dbh I connect it most with connor, especially in the second verse; "We were still going strong I never did you wrong Until the new me came along It was just you and me We were such a good team But now I’m alone on the boulevard of broken screens" Listening to this, I can really imagine him talking to Amanda after being introduced to his successor, the RK900 ('the new me') - I also can imagine the boulevard of broken screens being in reference to the graves of his previous bodies and I just think thattt hits yk, + whilst the second verse applies to machine connor more, the craving for human touch (connection in general) feels rather apt as by becoming deviant he has severed ties with Cyberlife, causing him to be pretty alone so yeah kara: I can just imagine her, alice and luther all singing country roads together in a car during the summer and it just warms my heart sm like its just sooo cuteee <3 I can also imagine her being a fan of Adele's music in general, I can't really explain why but she just seems like the type of person to be reaalllyyy into adele (me too) (+ i know age as a concept isnt a thing for androids really but adeles music appeals to a large age range making her music appealing 2 families so maybe im connecting adele n kara because of that) markus: I feel like I don't even need to explain history has its eyes on you... i mean come on.. but ohhh emmm geee!! I can not stress how PERFECT 'as the world caves in' is for markus atleast in my opinion, when I listen to it I can really picture this song over markus either choosing to sacrifice himself in BfD when surrounded, but generally I can just imagine this song over him doing anything really. 'run boy run' also feels like it needs little explanation, just listen to the song/look at the lyrics and youll see the connection north: I don't actually have any meaningful reasons for these songs but I just feel like north would like them but I guess 'breakin' dishes' is the one I thought about most because I can imagine her acting similarly in the same situation soo yeah chloe: Chloe doesn't really have a lot to work on with her extremely limited appearance in-game so this is completely based off a fic i read lol, where chloe was in a relationship with kamski but only in private because of his concern for his image anyways, in 'a loving feeling' mitski sings about feelings of loneliness in a relationship where her partner only shows affection alone and yeah that just feels like chloe n kamski to me!
#detroit become human#dbh headcanons#ramblings#gavin reed#dbh nines#nines rk900#dbh connor#dbh kara#dbh markus#dbh north#dbh chloe#this took so long to write#might delete idk
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Y’know, I have a funny story with the ship between Innocence and Pebbles.
@eggobuggo , my sister, was playing The Sims and made the iterators in her own humanised forms, including her version of Innocence and Wind, along with Moon, Pebbles, NSH and Suns, all with their own personalities and stuff. She set up a generic apartment, put the gang in, and just had fun making them do silly shenanigans together, while I sit and watched her play.
In particular, we headcanon NSH, Pebbles and Innocence as Gen 3s, the newer modes, and so she made them into teenagers, which, with a DLC, have a whole new host of features that are not in the base game. This includes getting crushes (which weirdly enough, young adults and adults cannot get).
But anyway, one day, later into the game (the gang basically all were in the high end of the friendship scale with each other), the notif board popped up that Innocence had gotten a crush on Pebbles. Unfortunately for her, NSH and Pebs were already being all flirty with each other (Ragequit is where it’s at for us), making Pebble basically keep her in the friendzone. Ngl, my heart went out to her :,) Especially so, because they were all sharing a room. (space was tight)
After that, I began thinking about it in context of it in-universe, and ngl, I came to quite liking it as a ship, especially since I see Innocence to be less… asshole-ish (?), I guess, than what the general fandom makes her out to be (I mean it’s understandable, we only see her to leak the pic of Pebbles condition and that’s it.). To me and Eggo, she’s much nicer unless you really piss her off, which then, her more cynical and gossipy side of her comes out. She was actually more of on the friends side with Pebble before the shit went down.
At the time, I thought “dang, it’s a shame I won’t be seeing anything of it since she’s so obscure.”. This was a couple months before I began seeing art of them on the main tag.
Soooo… I guess I’m somewhat of an og Milkshake (as is the fandom name) shipper???
Just, seeing you and others make art about them is almost surreal in a way, since the only reason I really considered them as a ship was cuz of a random event in a life sim game lol.
Also @eggobuggo, I hope you don’t mind me sharing the story. :)
Wow, that seems like quite the story! And I do agree, after witnessing something like that in a totally different game it must be pretty surreal to see the ship gaining popularity in the actual RW fandom now too! It's nice to get another seal of approval from an original Milkshake shipper!
For me, it's also a bit strange because it's something I've considered for a really long time as a lingering "oh, wouldn't it be cool if I could make this work?" idea. The obscurity and lack of content for UI to draw inspiration from, both canon and fanon, definitely added to these feelings and the difficulty of imagining a working portrayal of the ship, hence I've only recently felt confident enough about the relationship and UI as a character to act on it. So after Pura coined the ship name and made a lot more art of it, then other artists started expressing approval and even drawing it themselves, it almost feels like I'm watching the ship enter the mainstream (Tumblr) fandom consciousness in real time, which is honestly pretty cool, especially since it feels like I had a hand in it with that initial ask! And even if I wasn't the very first to consider it, I'll definitely continue supporting this ship!
For some other thoughts though, I totally agree on Innocence not being mean in reality, though for me she's not mean or gossipy at all and more so has a kind-of opposite major flaw that tends to cause bad things unintentionally. As much as I can understand interpreting the character as a genuinely mean person, I thought it'd be interesting to imagine that her leaking the rot simply caused others to perceive her as mean, not that she's that way in reality. After all, I don't think we ever see direct dialogue from Innocence in canon, and the only evidence I can find of her being mean is Wind's speculation on her motivations. I also took inspiration from @shkika's Innocence, but I just wanted to see if I could take those ideas further to create my own unique interpretation.
Also, it's actually pretty coincidental you're telling me this too, because in regards to what I've come up for my Milkshake portrayal, Innocence having an unrequited crush on Pebbles for a really long time is actually really important for both plot and character arc reasons! I've been developing my own take on the classic worm-off-the-string iterator AU idea with @hail-strom for like the past week or so and the ship as of now plays a decent role in that, but the unrequited crush acts as subtle, yet major context for Innocence's actions throughout, which in turn slowly influence Pebbles especially as he starts to reciprocate those feelings (much to his alarm)!
Anyway, thanks for sharing that with me, and thanks for giving me a chance to ramble about this ship more! I'm honestly so happy to see it growing, and all support counts!
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They are different y'all...
Keep scrolling if kinkiness makes you uncomfortable.

While I've been watching JK's live (post coming soon) someone pointed out the rings JK is wearing in his Seven schedule poster... the ring with the ring on it...has connotations in the BDSM world... those who wear it are signaling their submissiveness. In that same line of thought, Jimin was wearing thumb rings on both hands in his Like Crazy MV... thumb rings in a homosexual context...

and this could be an outdated thing, but a man is signaling he is open to certain types of sex... this is definitely outdated but at one time men wearing a single earring in the left ear signals he's straight, in the right ear he is gay. In the Like Crazy MV, Jimin had his single earring in the left ear but he looks into the mirror and it is in his right ear.
The bisexual/bigender coding in the MV was off the charts.
And we already talked about Jimin's Like Crazy MV Mapplethorpe pants and how David Mapplethorpe was deep into the BDSM world.

We've heard Jimin asking JK if he liked it when he was tied at the wrists and running through the woods... ahem... I've already talked about their lil kinky selves before... I can't find the posts but if you've been following me a while, you know what I've been saying...
They have a thing for strappy, tying things...
I've been saying... they are different y'all. Listen to me.
So what are Jimin and Jungkook trying to tell us? Why show us these things? Are these just stylists choices? I think not. There are too many instances for any of it to be coincidence or just a "stylists choice."
The members are too involved in how they express themselves individually during this solo era. Sexual kink is not really a big deal but why even go there? Personally, I love seeing them express ALL sides of themselves. The hints Jimin has given us are more and more explicit as time goes on. I don't buy the argument that "they don't know what that means." Of course they do. They are grown men. They are not virgins. They are living breathing red-blooded males in the prime of their lives.
The way they are presenting these concepts to us is still very conservative when compared to what I see from western artists. What Jimin and Jungkook have shown us, especially Jimin... is very tasteful, elegant, teasing and thought provoking, not raunchy and in-your-face. I want to say to some western artists: I would prefer not to have your twat in my face so please close your legs. But alas...
And now it is Jungkook's time to show us his colors. For some reason I don't mind his crotch in my face... I digress...
Anyway... JK live post coming soon. He's a hoot.
EDIT: Whoa someone got triggered (lmao). Yes, its a very cool ring. And its ok if its just a cool ring for some or most people. Cuz, wow, cool ring. What I said though was the ring "has connotations". I did not say this ring was designed specifically with this in mind. (Reading comprehension is appalling these days.)
But you know... the designer doesn't have to be associated with the lifestyle or even had any intention of associating their design with anything specific. But someone IN the lifestyle would recognize the design motif. This particular ring's attached ring is a "spring" clasp? Like what you use to clasp necklaces? So um... you could attach a chain easily to this ring? I see. Well. Cool ring bro.
And it's also ok if you don't want to see the message Jimin is expressing. I'm sure he's used to people turning a blind eye on what he's trying to say. It's also ok to say your opinion differs from mine and not try to make your opinion the correct one because honestly, no one knows anything and to think you do know, well... that would be next level dumb wouldn't it?
#jimin is a slytherin for a reason#people might not see it right away#he enjoys being scolded... ahem#you might can fool most of them but i see you two#nothing wrong with a lil healthy kink#fanfic writers have the dynamic wrong tho
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hi hi !!! its me again <3 kin walmart anon :)
after reading other peoples experiences, ive gotta talk about something that ive noticed is a pretty common thing amongst certain types of kin servers. and thats just… blacklists that are both user compiled and extremely strict.
this never made sense to me. especially if said blacklist is 400 miles long and has some of the wackiest shit on it. i actually still have access to the one from kin walmart, here are some of my favs:
- the word “bounce”
- the phrase “bouncing ball”
- mother mentions (all forms: mom, mother, etc)
- oranges (the fruit)
- school/mentions of schoolwork
- therapy
- Talking about private conversations/going to have a private conversation in a public setting
- any mention of the ocean
-
im also going to say, blacklists are fine. user compiled blacklists are okay but… i think there should be a better way to manage them. especially in spaces that have 100+ members. no hate to anyone who has these triggers either. i just think that there’s a line. there should be a line. and most times, ive found that the line is nonexistent. it should be up to user’s specifically to adjust their experience accordingly. im so sorry that i want to talk about the bouncing ball i stole from dollar general, maybe just dont read the conversation.
i understand that this take can be somewhat controversial, its why i don’t… talk about it without hiding behind anonymity. but i think, especially in kin spaces, blacklists are almost… idk.. taken advantage of?
idk this ended up being more rambly than intended, i just love talking about kin walmart and some of the whacky shit that went on there. stay tuned for our next episode; kin home depot
- kin walmart anon
NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT IS THE THING. there is a point where you need to be responsible for yourself and not place the responsibility/blame on others for not remembering every trigger on a mile long blacklist. you have to know when to step away from a conversation if there's a topic that triggers or upsets you, not demand everyone else conform to You. especially if it's extremely specific (such as the bounce example you gave) or extremely vague and frequently mentioned (moms, school, etc.). there's a lot of issues with those kinds of things and if you're in a Public space with lots of people, you gotta be responsible for your own well-being. it's different if it's a smaller group of friends, of course. there's a difference between 'friends' who continuously overstep your boundaries/comfort and large servers where people are just going to make general discussion about whatever.
the amnt of servers ive been in w mile-long user-compiled blacklists where people throw a gd Fit if you so much as allude to one of the 5000 "problematic medias" theyve put on the bl.... ok not that much actually cuz im thinking of one example in particular i was in multiple servers w. but you know. and a lot of shit can just be like. squicks or stuff they don't like, rather than something that will genuinely trigger them.
i swear some kinnies just can't manage big servers in general. once i was in a server of at Least 100 members - that was not even a kin server, it was for smth else but had a lot of kinnies - where there weren't any like, actual chat moderators (just some ppl who had permissions for unrelated reasons). there was a user-compiled blacklist that was rarely updated w requests, and one day out of boredom & frustration with the lack of organization, i went and sorted the long ass list by Category and Alphabetically. i was not even a mod i just DID THAT. the admins of that server sucked so bad they didn't know how to manage anything and were generally some of the worst people on the planet.
#Anonymous#kin walmart anon#mod bender#kinfessions#sorry this got long. LOL.#i also mirror anon's sentiments that specific/vague/ANY trigger is okay and valid to have ok? you can't control what triggers you#it's just a matter of people making it Other ppls problem. and not stepping away if you're upset. n expecting 100+ ppl to revolve around u#kin server stories
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for Kai: 6, 10, + 14 for Rex: 25, 26, 31, + 50
from the multigender askgame!! <3
Thank uuu!! (Link to the questions)
Putting most of it under the cut cuz it got long!
Kai:
6. Do they have multiple names? Do they correspond to a specific gender?
No, just Kai!
10. Did they ever officially “come out” as multigender? To everyone at once, or a few people at a time?
I think when she first found out its a Thing as a teen he told some people about it like, wow that's me! But he generally doesn't really feel a need to bring it up. Sometimes she tells people but in general it's more like, people know she uses multiple sets of pronouns, either because she asked them or because they notice others doing it. So ppl vaguely know that way I guess? But he's not really someone who'll sit you down and tell you, he'll give the full Details if you ask for it lol. And ppl she dates she tells cuz it feels Important and she cares a lot more about being understood in that case I guess? Like he doesn't want to be with someone who sees him as just a man or just a woman.
14. Do they prefer masculine (man, male, boy), feminine (woman, female, girl), or neutral (enby, enban, kid, person) terms to be referred to with? A combination? Something else entirely?
Both masc and fem terms! Preferably people use both for her. He doesn't like neutral terms very much. If someone calls him enby he'd correct them cuz that's not how he sees himself.
Rex:
25. Do they know many other multigender people?
I like to think a lot of orcs are similar to her! And genders other than just male and female are not too uncommon for them. I've definitely been thinking about giving her some friends she'd meet in her time living on Flotilla and I wanted at least one of them to be multigender. Idk if they'd necessarily relate much though, because Rex still grew up with different gender roles and stuff.
26. Do they have a community that supports multigender people?
Mostly yes, the whole party has just always known her like this and I think for some it's probably their first time interacting with someone like Rex, but none of them were ever uncomfortably weird about it even if they did ask questions. I think she rly likes that to Imtura it's nothing new, especially with her being an orc there's something validating to her?
In Riverbend Rex was mostly very beloved and people respect her. Though I do think it was jarring for some to see her return and present a lot more feminine than she did when she left. But also that's like the least interesting thing about her now lol.
31. Do they often have to explain what being multigender means, or particular genders they have?
She doesn't really like explaining lol, she will if people ask respectfully, which does happen sometimes. But she won't rly bother for example if someone is weird or rude about it, she's just like 'you dont need to get it to be respectful' like she just doesn't see it as her job to school ppl esp if they dnt seem open to actually learning bc it's just gonna end with her being upset.
50. Wild card! Mention anything else you want!
I think being an orc and her gender stuff r very interwined, that's part of why imagining her as different races is rly hard for me!
I also think having a baby n becoming a mom felt nice to her in a way related to her gender. Like in no way does tht make someone more of a woman but I think she definitely to some degree personally felt like that? Like she's just like oh wow im a MOM. Mb also partly partly because of other women now letting her in on conversations relating to that, I think she always enjoys being included like that. I think it also definitely played a part in why she wasn't really too distressed about just suddenly having a baby unexpectedly. Like Rex knew that all orcs have th same equipment down there and can all give birth (the latter only from that one lore tablet though gdgdg what a way to find out) bbut like the idea just felt so bizarre when it applied to her because anatomy wise she still lumped herself in with humans and she was raised as a boy and looked pretty similar to other boys. So she's still just like weirdly surprised about it all.
I think she never rly looks for ways to affirm her masculinity the way she does for her femininity, but I think that's partly just because she's an orc and just is considered masculine by default outside of Flotilla.
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its lunchtime at school rn and ive been so shuake pilled all day i cant stop thinking abt them, love seeing them domestic and happy so i was thinking abt that and if they ever were to get married in some other universe how that’d look like and i was js thinking abt how other ppl view them and I was like well realistically.. they never would even if its cute even if its whatever the case lol. i see a lot of ppl draw them in a scenario in which they would and its totally cute ofc but in a more serious lens, its funny to see how ppl ignore a lot of their character themes and a lot of the underlying themes within that when it comes to that particular topic. essentially, marriage is basically signing a contact of ur life to someone else’s forever, exactly what akechi was so against like maruki’s reality and all that and even akira, his whole character is abt breaking free from society and being ur own person without remorse or the need to mask (hes so autistic coded lol) and i only bring this up cuz its funny to compare it to other fandoms (as i always do cuz theres a lot of comparisons) like how many ppl also draw narumitsu getting married and ive seen so much more talk and debate abt that since some of edgeworth’s dialogue included being against the idea of marriage. now this isnt to defend anything or whatnot even if i think the idea of a narumitsu marriage is adorable imo lol, i feel like its so much more in character than with shuake for example, especially since edgeworth and phoenix both work(ed) under the law, edgeworth was practically thought to obey it. even if he doesnt agree with it a hundred percent like the idea of marriage, i just feel he wouldnt be a hundred percent opposed to it either. its also important to understand and remember that of course gay ppl would view marriage much differently due to all the societal norms placed on it even down to what it really is, especially since edgeworth had.. lots of denial to deal with even later on into his life (it never really leaves u lol) but aside from me going completely off track onto a whole different ship in entirety lol, its interesting to see how ppl ignore those sides and themes in the conversation so much easier with younger characters and this isnt only a shuake thing this is a common for soo many other ships ive seen with younger characters and its not bad, its totally cute cuz its all js an idea, no? but at the same time its like “.. make this make senseee…..” idk but this is js me rambling again, at least for this situation i dont think either of them would ever get married and well. rip akechi even if one tries to think abt that possibility lmao i have a thing of thinking into things too much, fun is fun cute is cute (until it hurts some one that is) js thoughts to keep me alive through math class lolzz
#rants#somebody shut me tf up#i love shuake sm#i love yaoi#i hope shuake is doing well today#spoilers i guess#losing my mind over a cringe high school aged gay ship once again#lord save me
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*Shoves a HUGE microphone in your face*
Ma’am, Ma’am! I would like to ask your opinions on the inherent eroticism of Freddy and Nancy’s ongoing rivalry.
Any comments?
Oh! Woah! Hi, yes, hello! Uhm I wasn’t expecting an interview today but anything for the public, especially on such a vital and under-talked about topic.
The Nightmare on Elm Street series as a whole is steeped heavily in sexuality, and repression of that same sexuality, and it is obviously very purposeful on that front, it would be totally idiotic not to talk about it and lean into it as much as possible! Freddy Krueger’s whole bit is about coming after you when you are your most vulnerable, he creeps into your home, your bedroom, in between your sheets, into your fucking skull when you are sleeping, he can occupy your mind. He can worm into your thoughts, hopes, subconscious and of course, your dreams. He can know just about anything about you, it is erotic as shit, violating as fuck, intmate as hell, nothing is safe or off limits from him, all of you is laid bare for him, a veritable feast and boy does he dine on it all with gusto. No secret is safe from him the same way you are not safe from him.
But let’s get into Nancy in particular, cuz the above all applies, naturally but Nancy is someone truly special, not just to us but to him. She is something totally different, full of a particular kind of fight and fire, an extreme will to continue to live, she breaks through her intense fear and she manages to best him! She bites and claws and gives her all and even verbally throws down with him too! How can he not be into all of that?
My opinion is that they are a duo that has undeniable magnetism and appeal, something you cannot look away from no matter what, being inexplicably drawn to it, their back and forth and the way they throw themselves completely into the ongoing fight between one another is just fantastic. I think the chemistry between Robert and Heather definitely helps but I think most people can admit there is something there between Freddy and Nancy. I mean like-
It isn't like the idea doesn't have support in the text! Like look at them? You mean to tell me that they do not have the capacity to hate-fuck the shit out of each other? There is 100% a lot of complex feelings on both sides of reliance and need and hatred and wanting to destroy the other but still getting something out of what they share with an overall refusal to acknowledge it because they are both so stubborn!
The whole thing, in short, is very, very sexy and I love that for them.
#Listen if you ask who I ship with Freddy#The answer is me and Amber and all my friends ocs and also of course NANCY#I don't care I do!#I can not and will not ever be over the slasher and final girl being entangled and in a fucked up toxic relationship#It's TOO GOOD#BHF asks#Hope this is what you are looking for
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Astro Notes! (part 1)
I just realised I've never posted anything about astrology on here, even though I'm studying and practising all the time, so I thought I might make an astro notes post! Btw I do western astrology :)
- Aries Rising tend to look very unassuming? I *KNOW* it's a fire sign in the first house and I *KNOW* that's stereotypically seen as more 'aggressive' or 'intense' or 'wild', buuut I've found that's often not the case. I think it's because the signs are usually in the houses they rule. There's nothing that about them that seems especially *different* at first glance. It's only once you get to know them that these people tend to have distinct traits.
- Cancer Sun men make such good teachers! Especially in humanities-type subjects. I've found they tend to have a fascination with war in particular WW2. They're really able to detach from the emotional aspect of the subject content, and just focus on the facts. HOWEVER if you talk to them about it outside of class, they always are really sad about it? It's like they turn off for the lesson and then are hit with a tidal wave of sadness afterward. Idk maybe this one was just me, but I've had more than one male Cancer humanities teacher and they are both like this!! This goes double if they have Cancer Sun and Mercury.
- Libra Venus is so independent?? Probably one of the most out of any of the signs IMO. They just do not need you! They may like you, they may love you, they may want you around. But they have never, and will never need you. The type to yearn for the ✨aesthetic✨ of it but in reality they are perfectly okay with you gone. Good for them tbh #girlbossing 💅
- Gemini Mercury people are really good at mimicking things they see in media? Like, if someone brings up a movie they like, they will 100% drop a line from that film... and then it will become a regular part of their speech. They talk in references like half the time I swear. My step mum particularly likes to do accents from certain characters in certain movies. My brother talks in memes and iconic movie quotes constantly. Can other Gemini Mercury people/people who KNOW Gemini Mercury people please tell me your experiences with this?? I swear it's a thing right??
- A lot of Capricorn placements (particularly women) don't really feel like they relate to those placements? I think it's because we stereotypically show Capricorn as constantly hard-working, serious, ambitious, etc etc. But obviously this isn't realistic. Capricorns are not machines lol, they have other traits. I think we just portray Cap to be so intense and overbearing in that way, and that doesn't resonate for a lot of people (ESPECIALLY if they have air or fire placements). Idk, give Capricorns a break please. Talk about their soft side more :(
- Speaking of the soft side of Capricorn placements, they are so good with kids! They are often kinda nervous and unsure around kids, but it's only cuz they want these kids to like them! They love them so much! They totally wanna be besties with these kids! It's so cute. The type to read to children, or quietly play tea party. Would totally buy the kid a hot chocolate so the lil one doesn't feel left out when they buy their coffee. Cute as hell. Big fan.
- Scorpio Risings are so obvious lmaooo. I can spot one from a mile away. I don't know what it is (maybe because I have Scorpio in the 7th house? idk I'm obsessed with them) but I am so hyperaware of y'all. You all look awesome by the way. Keep doing whatever you're doing fashion-wise, it works. Also if you are a Scorpio Rising please message me I wanna be besties I love y'all so much. Please I just wanna know you so bad :')
Okay that's it!! For now, at least. I hope you enjoyed reading what I have to say about these placements, and please let me know your experiences with them! This was my first astrology notes, and my first astrology notes ever, so I hope it's okay?? I'd be so grateful for any comments or feedback :) have a lovely day <3
#astrology observations#astrology#astro observations#astro community#astro notes#aries zodiac#aries rising#gemini#gemini mercury#cancer#cancer sun#cancer mercury#scorpio#scorpio rising#capricorn#capricorn placements#libra venus#libra horoscope
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RWBY v9 e4 Thoughts and Analysis
Genuinely might be my favorite opening of the entire show.
Also, genuinely, screw everyone who ever said Ruby didn’t have a character arc.
RWBY is really, really good at keeping stories going in the background even as the main focus shifts around. So just...stop with that shit, okay? CRWBY are very particular with what they choose to do and when. Not everything's perfect, but if you get hung up on things you didn’t like from the past, you’ll never be able to fully appreciate what’s happening now. It’s always gonna bother you in the back of your mind. Ruby wasn’t always the most important person in the show. Let it go so you can talk about what led us here, to this exceptional story. We good? Good.
“You do not go to the tree, the tree goes to you! Unless of course you’re me, you see?”
Yeah, so the Curious Cat (referred to as CC from here on out) is definitely in some position of authority in the Ever After, but they do not control it or anything like that. I suppose we shall find out their role soon enough.
Regardless, it seems that the Tree decides when you’re ready to leave, not you. CC can bypass that it seems, but i doubt that will work for our heroes.
If the residents of the Ever After exist to facilitate a story, then the Tree will let them out when the story is done.
Maybe the Ever After only rained when Ruby was sad (rather than, for instance, Weiss) because it’s deemed her the protagonist of the story that must reach it’s conclusion before RWBY and co are allowed to leave? Just a thought.
“it’s a matter of perspective” that’s an intriguing line
Also, Little does not have a history with CC like I thought they and the other mice might. However, that’s not to say CC liking to eat mice has no impact on whether the mice know what a cat is, especially since last week Little wasn’t even completely convinced they were a mouse.
It’s been said before, but CC really is a standout character. The design, the performance, the power set, even the dialogue make literally everything about them engaging. As does, of course, the characterization, cuz this Cat is just as impossible as any cat irl. Now i actually like cats, but I’ll be the last one to say they don’t tend towards being completely absurd and impossible in their behavior
CC just takes that to the next level. Honestly though CC is basically just ADHD: the animal
Craving a steady stream of interesting conversations to keep them focused
too real 😅
“Got ‘im! Totally roasted”
From the tone of Yang’s voice, i genuinely think she was just throwing poor Weiss a bone here 😄
Missed a chance to have CC making a cat video tbh, but “Luminous Rectangle” and “why is it printing tiny flat versions of me” is still amazing
CC just briefly giving voice to some of the common complaints about RWBY is kinda nice
its CRWBY saying “We’re listening. We hear you. We are working to address your concerns, but only to the point that it won’t compromise our story.”
Also roasting the gods is fun. Does seem like it’s clear that the Gods have nothing to do with the Ever After then, though, if CC both didn’t know and is super comfortable calling them out this way
More information about Alyx, from a new source. Love how everyone who speaks about her has a different take, it makes her really interesting.
Also rare smiling v9 Ruby Rose sighting
I love that CC is still a cat, with all the usual catlike behaviors. Would've been easy to anthropomorphize them more, I’m happy that didn’t happen.
“Each acre is made specifically for it’s inhabitants and their roles”
Intriguing. So...does CC not have an acre to call home? If not, why not? What makes them unique among this world’s rules?
a grogurt parfait, huh? Sounds gross.
“Well I’m sure we’ll cause a lot less trouble once we’re back to normal” oh Weiss, honey, I wouldn’t count on that 😂
Ugh CC Blake’s right, they've got enough problems without you reminding them of what’s happening in remnant
“Oh no, i wasn’t paying attention” Ruby you are one of 5 people and your entire bag of trauma just got poked, it’s not your fault. You gotta work on that self-blaming instinct, he says knowing full well how hard that is from personal experience (seriously, i see so much of myself in Ruby)
The Lonely carpenter and the rusted Knight
one sweet, one handsome
Guessing we’ll meet them soon enough
Also that confirms the Knight in the trailer and intro isn’t Jaune. the Knight was in the original book.
So yeah was wrong about the Chekov's butterfly
Couple interesting lines here
First
”I’m the herbalist. Until I’m not, anyway”
Our first hint that roles are not set in stone.
and second
“Everyone needs help these days. Everyone.” Who else is Herb referring to?
“Huntresses are heroes. We protect those who can’t protect themselves” Blake is really following in Ruby’s stead, this is literally the line Ruby gives her all the way back in volume 1 when they talk about their love of books. Of course, she’s doing it after going through all the healing Ruby hasn’t done yet. It is cool to see this dichotomy of Blake stepping up and embodying what she valued in Ruby while Ruby becomes more like she was in volume 1 and 2
Also, I like that Ruby’s answer to “What does a huntress do” is “fight monsters”. it shows that she’s still thinking about things wrong
“In order to help you become whatever it is you need to become, you really ought to have a better understanding of what you are now”. Great line. Cuts straight to the heart of the issue.
.”This is how a king winds up a prince”
So...the Red Prince used to be the Red King? And he became the Red Prince, perhaps because he didn’t understand who he was, and thus who he wanted to be wasn’t quite right? We’ll see. But clearly there’s a much more complicated transformation process that can happen here than we expected. Perhaps a far more literal one, as well.
“You don’t have to go forward you know. You could go back. Back to before.”
Before she lost her arm. It’s not about her arm though--it’s about everything. It’s about going back to what things were like before beacon fell. Going back to who she was like before beacon fell.
Yang is shocked--but she doesn't immediately reject the idea. Unlike Blake...
“You could just be human. Or just a cat. It’s up to you.”
“Why would i do that?”
“I told you. It’s simple. Much simpler than trying to be a bridge between human and faunus. Why struggle with that responsibility?”
So it’s clear now. The reason Blake wasn’t front and center on injustice during the Atlas arc.
This is what she was struggling with. Well this, and taking the life of an actual living, breathing person
Doesn’t matter that it was Adam, he was still a person.
So for a couple volumes she just...stopped trying to be that bridge. Focused on proving to her loved ones that she had grown, and that she wouldn’t run away again. Showing them--and especially Yang--that she loved them.
“You could be a nobody. Isn’t that what you want? to be free?”
God i’m so proud of these girls. This is such a beautiful scene. It’s so well directed, so well written, and there’s so much we can all learn from it, purely on an emotional growth level..
And then we come to Ruby. And unlike her friends, she doesn’t have it in her to reject the part of herself that appears here. Instead, she gets this brutal face-to-face with all of her worst insecurities, worst impulses, all her imposter syndromes and her habit of putting everything on her own shoulders. honestly this section deserves a deep dive all its own.
“You don’t even have to be Ruby Rose. So. Who are you gonna be?”
Ruby is gonna go through a major transformation this volume. I can only hope it’s the one she needs.
I’m really curious why exactly CC was so angry about what Herb was doing. What exactly did he do wrong? Hopefully we will find out tomorrow.
the “That’s a bit much” lien from herb intrigues me though. Was he affected by the pain the girls--and Ruby in particular--were being forced to confront?
“Take a little bit of my heart”
Really curious about CC’s powers
and little being adorable again. Can’t wait for tomorrow!!
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!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK I LOVE THIS FIC
A story of true love.. so cheesy but my heart. Bingge deserves it.
Such a good ending. :3 my heart cant take it
______________________________________________
Some of my favourite parts in pretty much no order below (fic spoilers)---->
_“A comedy of errors,” he grumbles. “A tragedy. My own personal obituary, maybe.”_
<- correct me if im wrong but isnt this just scum villain.
_“Transmigration?” Luo Binghe asks, clearly not having expected that particular response.
“Since you came from a different world -”
Luo Binghe shifts suddenly, rolling them both over so that Shen Yuan is on his back and Luo Binghe is hovering over him, his face inches from Shen Yuan’s own.
Shen Yuan falls silent, staring up at him. Luo Binghe searches Shen Yuan’s face, expression especially intense, but eventually he just shakes his head.
“No,” he says. “Even if that’s right, don’t talk about it. I don’t care about that anymore.”
Shen Yuan blinks up at Luo Binghe, only growing more confused. Did he want a serious answer or not, ah?!
“I’m asking about our story,” Luo Binghe clarifies._
<- did he figure out what was up with the svsss timeline. "I dont care about that anymore" bingge "that"? "Im asking about _our_ story" uhh bingge has figure it out right. Good for him
_He should probably also make it clear to Luo Binghe that he wouldn’t have tried even a little bit to help hook Luo Binghe up with his old Shizun if he knew his old Shizun was actually a villain and not just an actor. Actually, he should probably figure out why the hell Luo Binghe had been looking to romance that villain to begin with, and - and fuck, is that the sort of thing you send someone to therapy for?? Does Luo Binghe need therapy???_
<-send his ass to therapy. Sy not know why bingge wants to find shen qingqiu and make him fall in love is just so funny. Cuz like thats him, he is the other shizun, he just looks differnt and doesnt have to act like a prestigious cultivator
_He’s still Shen Yuan’s Luo Binghe, too - the Luo Binghe that Shen Yuan has been carefully training to be a good boy!!_
<- my heart. I cant get over how hes trained bingge
_“Okay, I’m over it now,” Shen Yuan says, nodding to himself.
He is not, in fact, over it, but he’s reached a state of acceptance_
<- i just think this is fucking hilarious. The guy who he thought was some unhinged cosplayer is actually the demonic emperor he said he was. Any the thing that helped kickstart his cultivation was a forehead kiss. A forehead kiss. Not duel cultivation. Not a kiss on the mouth. But a forehead kiss. That is so sweet. Forehead kisses are top tier
_“Another option you might have is a maid cafe - some people like the tsundere asshole type, so you could make it your brand.”_ ......
_“Hm,” he hums consideringly, eyes narrowed at the overly happy people dressed in service outfits and holding various cutesy foods. “This one isn’t bad.”_ ........
_“No! No, no, look -” Shen Yuan frantically pulls up a picture that features a man in it too, dressed in a far more reasonable butler’s outfit with absolutely no thigh on display. “You’d be dressed up like this, no - no anything you’re thinking of!!”
“Oh,” Luo Binghe says, sounding a bit disappointed._ .............
_“That’s alright, Yuan-ge can buy me the outfit separately -” “No ‘Yuan-ge’ right now!!” Shen Yuan yells, only a little bit hysterically._
<- awww :( no maiddress bingge?!? How sad :( but i just noticed that sy said nothing about not buying the outfit 😏
_Once, when Shen Yuan had first taken up reading about puppy training in an attempt to tame this wild dog of his, he’d read that puppies who don’t receive proper socialization and play with others can end up keeping their habits of biting and teething on others as a fully mature dog.
Luo Binghe bites quite a bit._
<- i still cant believe he treated him like a dog. It just gets me everytime he calls bingge a dog. Its just so fucking hilarious
_Luo Binghe takes it, navigates to the clock app to set a timer for two hours, and hands it back to Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan glances down at the timer and then back up at Luo Binghe, skeptical.“...You know it takes like five minutes tops for someone to buy something, right?” “I’ll keep him busy,” Luo Binghe promises, expression serious. “What is this, a boss fight? Why are you saying it like that?” Shen Yuan grumbles. “A very important boss fight,” Luo Binghe agrees. “I should get a kiss for good luck.” “Fuck off,” Shen Yuan says, pushing Luo Binghe’s face away again when he leans in close. “You aren’t getting anything in public.”_
<- no kisses for bingge :( also sj being a boss fight hsjsk giving bingge all the luck
_yes, sj spends an insufferably long time at their stall, judging all the baked goods and making snide comments about lbh and subtley making sure sy is alright. yes, he has his own timer that goes off at an 1hr 50 min, which is his sign to leave. bingge chews on sy as stress relief about it all._
<- that is so mean. I mean its good hes check on sy but the timer was just mean. Ok maybe a bit deserved but still. Also stress toy sy cracks me up. Bingges emotional support stress chew.
_“Now I’ve hired you to be my boyfriend,” Luo Binghe says, sounding especially pleased with himself. _
<- he fucking uno reversed him :0
So mamy other things as well. All the things from the sleeve pouch(i forgot the name, it beings with q but i forgor) the bracelet. The way he runs to get his things when he realises his cultivation is back just melts my heart. And the way sy is just going 'what the fuck' throught those few scenes was just hilarious. Gotta love him.
Although i wonder what happened to airplane. Does he die like normal or does he just continue living. Its hard to say which is worse.
I love all the times bingge is refered to as a dog or an aninal. Bc hes just kinda feral.
Anyway this is such a great fic!!!! I loved reading it!
After being turned away by the nice Shizun of that other world, Luo Binghe finds himself in the modern world where he can find a new nice Shizun for himself. Instead, he finds Shen Yuan, who could not possibly be who he's searching for - he's crass, and inelegant, and looks only vaguely related to Shen Qingqiu. Luckily for both of them, Shen Yuan mistakes Luo Binghe as a cosplayer for hire, and asks to rent him out as his very normal new boyfriend.
🖤 binggeyuan 🖤 fake dating, misunderstandings, post ge vs mei extra 🖤 shen yuan hires "cosplayer" luo binghe to date him 🖤 86k, 11/11 chapters, complete!
the final chapter of this rent-a-bingge journey went up today! thank you to everyone who's been reading along, and i hope you enjoy the finale! :D
also, if you haven't already seen all the lovely fanart for this fic, please go check them out!! > ch1 fanart by quirefeast of binggeyuan's first meeting! > ch2 + ch4 fanart by dubbedcorn of various meme-y moments! > ch5 fanart by NoodledYJ of bingge trying to glue miku together! > non-chapter-specific fanart by softandworm of sy and his weird guard dog!
#Thank you Nyoomerr for this amazing fic#I loved the journey of reading it!!!#binggeyuan#bingyuan#fanfic#scum villain's self saving system#svsss#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#luo bingge#luo binghe#shen yuan#shen jiu#Sj#Sy#Lbg#Lbh#scum villain#svss#scumbag system#fan fiction#fanfiction#fan fic#Fic#svsss fic#svsss fanfiction#Svsss fan fic#scum villain self saving system#scum villian self saving system#scumbag self saving system#Finished another one
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Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST
One day I will come up with titles for my works lol.
Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!
I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...
Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting
Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!
Word Count: 5.2k
Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any
You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…
But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.
You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.
*****
“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…
“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.
You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”
Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.
You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you.
*****
You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”
“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.
“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”
“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.
You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.
This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.
But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.
The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.
“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.
“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.
“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”
You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.
Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.
“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.
Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.
Then of course…
“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.
“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.
Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.
Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…
You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.
“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.
“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.
You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.
*****
“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.
“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”
“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.
You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.
All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.
“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.
“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.
“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.
You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”
“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”
Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.
You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”
Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.
The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.
You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.
*****
Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.
But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.
It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.
The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.
Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.
Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.
It made you even angrier.
Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???
Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.
Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.
*****
You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?
The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???
A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.
You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.
So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.
“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.
“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.
“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”
“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”
There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.
You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.
To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”
You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.
“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.
But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.
*****
The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.
You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.
To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.
“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.
Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”
“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.
“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”
“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.
“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”
“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.
For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”
There’s more silence for a second.
“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”
Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”
You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.
*****
Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”
“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.
“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.
Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.
“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.
“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.
“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.
“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”
“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”
“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.
“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.
“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.
You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”
Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”
“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.
“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.
*****
Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.
You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.
You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.
*****
“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”
“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.
“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”
Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”
“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.
As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?
*****
You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.
You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.
The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.
You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.
“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.
You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.
“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.
“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.
“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.
“Oh, I’m-”
“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.
You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.
“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.
“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”
“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.
“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.
You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.
*****
You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.
No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.
You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.
It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.
The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.
You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...
He really was beautiful.
Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”
You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”
“You sure?” he insists.
“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.
He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”
You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”
“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.
“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.
Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”
“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.
“But, what?” he prompts you again.
“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.
Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.
You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.
Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”
You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.
*****
Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.
His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.
“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.
Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.
You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.
“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.
“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.
Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.
He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.
“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”
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jay do you ever think if warriors is in the middle of a big battle like the bloodied warriors drawings you made that legend ever has to help him calm down?? :0 man the feral ones you made are such a far cry from how carefree and goofy he usually is!!! aaaaaa I love them!!!!!!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YES I DO ANON YES I DO
i've mentioned in the past a lot that they Both tend to absolutely lose it if the other is hurt in battle, but i also think abt instances where neither of them r hurt but Something happens in the fight and it makes wars lose it anyway. it could be pretty much anything ?? it could be just a Sound—a particularly familiar way metals scrape together; a yell that sounds like a long-gone soldier of his; the sound of a bomb being lit,,,
it could be smth So small that bothers nobody else at all, but it will instantly take him back to some memory he'd tried to forget. he's suddenly in a different place in his head altogether and he's back in that mindset he'd had to adopt during the war—kill or be killed—and when he of all people gets like that, a literal one-man army, it is incredibly hard to stop him from killing just about anything that moves
it's rare that it happens, but he does occasionally snap into something cold and feral and heartless. sometimes he's pushed over the edge, and ? sometimes only legend can calm him down
the others try ? most of the time wars recognizes them as allies, but on the rare occasion he's too lost in his own head to know who he's slashing at, they Have to get out of the way in order to not get immediately killed. legend is their fastest member. wars is Almost a match, but not quite, and if it rly came down to it, ledge would be able to avoid his strikes long enough to get his attention and snap him out of it
but i enjoy the idea of wars seeing ledge and That's what snaps him out of it. the others have been trying to get his attention, trying to yell for him to stop and it's proven to be useless cuz he's not hearing a word they're saying, but i fuckin adore the idea of legend being the only one wars' mind seems to pause at. if legend yells enough, it usually breaks through the barrier and gets wars to halt and to blink and realize he'd gotten lost in his head
and when he's finally snapped out of it ? he's Instantly panicking. he knows immediately what happened, or at least the jist of it, and he's whipping around to count heads and scan bodies for injuries inflicted By Him. he's actively hyperventilating cuz he doesn't allow himself a Moment of rest between his feral trance and checking the team over for injuries and legend has to grip his shoulders and cup his jaw and force him to Look at him
legend's so ?? it's Scary, for him, to see wars like that. it's scary for everybody, but legend in particular has royal knight trauma, and seeing his best friend, who is a knight, with that heartless, crazed look in his eyes ? it,, it unsettles him so much. legend is Scared of him, in those moments. luckily, they're at the point where ledge knows wars would never hurt him intentionally
and u bet ur ass that wars is so broken up abt losing it on the field. he apologizes endlessly, gets so choked up and guilty abt it, and even though the rest of the chain keeps telling him that they Get it and they understand and they don't blame him, he still beats himself up over it sm. keeps repeating "i could have killed you!" and he's nearly inconsolable
especially if he Does actually hurt one of them. just because that idea hurts me immensely, im gonna say it's never anything more than a simple nick or a twist of a limb <3 but even That . even if he sees a nick on somebody's face and he asks where that came from and they sheepishly admit they'd narrowly dodged one of wars' attacks, he's sofuckign broken up about it.
ur RIGHT anon he's such a goofy and gentle guy and even seeing a Small Cut on any of them, caused by wars, is enough to reduce him to tears. he just keeps thinking that if he'd gone a little faster, if they'd been a little closer, it could have been fatal. it could have chopped their fucking head clean off. That's why he gets so upset. it's how close he got to killing one of his family members
it terrifies him ? he's endlessly apologizing and Instantly unarming himself so he can't hurt them. and it usually takes the whole evening for legend to bring him back to a point where he's calm and not constantly hung up on the fact that he lost it on the field. legend's so gentle w him and the rest of the chain is as well—they're so endlessly patient w him and even if they've said it 16 times in the last hour, they'll keep telling him it wasn't his fault and they do not blame him and No We Don't Hate You Please Never Say That Ever Again
#qktalks#anon#don't quite know what to tag this as ngl#tw violence#tw death mention#????#if i need to add tags pls do let me know im unsure#it's 1am i'm so sleepy so i'll keep my ramblings in the post and Not let it overflow into the tags but GVEIAYGV#ty anon ur mind is so big and wrinkly#that one drawing of him covered in blood next to the red text in that image is my favorite one#love a man who's lost his mind and is covered in blood <33333 HVIUEAGVIA
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Amazing that I found your account! I've been wondering about this thing.
For the past four years I've been working on and off on this book
In the book everyone has some sort of thing that kind of hampers them in the human world, but helps them in their world- kind of like how in Percy Jackson, a lot of demigods have dyslexia and adhd
These hampering things are different for almost everyone and they're often related to a power or ability that you have. A person who has telekinesis may "hear voices" and person who can prophesize things may have an ungodly horrible sleep schedule
One character in particular just blacks out
The idea with her was basically that she has this "side" thar whenever it senses she's in danger, shows up and whoops ass.
This version of her is clearly not her doing the things and then immediately forgetting she'd done them. Her friends make comments about this version of her acting very different, when she isn't in control of her body, she makes comments as to what it feels like. She counts how long she's there for, then, as if nothings happened, she's whipped back into reality
Now with this character, in the beginning, I really didn't want her to be a system. I'm not sure how I convinced myself she wasn't, but now that I've began to understand my own system, understand what's happening, it's pretty obvious she's a system. The only problem is, no matter how much she really hates her mom, she isn't traumatized. Not by her mom or anything else, it's literally a point in the story that all of her childhood was her parents keeping her safe from bad things. There's not really any room for truama
Especially nothing serious enough and that would occur at a young enough age for her to develop did or osdd
Now don't get me wrong, I support systems formed outside of truama, but the last thing I want is for the first book that I've ever written that wasn't a picture book to be a catalyst of a bunch of discourse, I also feel there aren't many clear representatives of did or osdd in the media, and even less that are actually good or accurate
Personally, as someone who identifies with endo system (despite beginning to wonder if undiagnosed osdd is a possibility) I genuinely just think it's only fair that the disordered people are tended to first, then, once I feel they've been represented, I can then chose to represent the non disordered
So my question to you is what you think I should do?
Should I continue with this character not being a system and just this being the magic of that world that causes the weird split
Or should I go back into her backstory and find somewhere to fit the truama needed to make this character representative
(And I just realized this but she's the only character I have really that isn't that representative of anything else the rest of the main cast
Mixed (black and white) + Bisexual + Adhd
Mixed (Asian and white) + FtM + MLM/demisexual + depression
A literal robot + nonbinary + panromantic + has traits similar to autism but I wouldn't call it autistic cause it's a robot
Mixed (black and asian) + agender + schizophrenia
They're all mixed bc they're all mixed with the things I'm mixed with shhh 😔
But like this character
White + heterosexual + Cisgender + literally nothing else interesting about her other than that blackout-different-person thingy
So yeah, theres also that
Hmmm, think of representation like a kinda pie being made for a holiday meal. Just cuz you made a pumpkin pie (endogenic system rep), doesn't mean other ppl can't go out and get what they need for apple or banana cream pie. There's plenty of space for both kinds of stories to exist. The same way just cuz tv has few long running lesbian shows doesn't stop gay ones being made.
Endogenic systems' stories deserve to be told too, and it's okay to wanna tell it with what you have set up. It's not being insensitive to represent one marginalized group over another.
As for other headmates you mentioned, I'm a little too white to help with that, so maybe our followers and other mods can help with that bit!
-Mod Tick Tock
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