#nothing wrong with a lil healthy kink
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They are different y'all...
Keep scrolling if kinkiness makes you uncomfortable.
While I've been watching JK's live (post coming soon) someone pointed out the rings JK is wearing in his Seven schedule poster... the ring with the ring on it...has connotations in the BDSM world... those who wear it are signaling their submissiveness. In that same line of thought, Jimin was wearing thumb rings on both hands in his Like Crazy MV... thumb rings in a homosexual context...
and this could be an outdated thing, but a man is signaling he is open to certain types of sex... this is definitely outdated but at one time men wearing a single earring in the left ear signals he's straight, in the right ear he is gay. In the Like Crazy MV, Jimin had his single earring in the left ear but he looks into the mirror and it is in his right ear.
The bisexual/bigender coding in the MV was off the charts.
And we already talked about Jimin's Like Crazy MV Mapplethorpe pants and how David Mapplethorpe was deep into the BDSM world.
We've heard Jimin asking JK if he liked it when he was tied at the wrists and running through the woods... ahem... I've already talked about their lil kinky selves before... I can't find the posts but if you've been following me a while, you know what I've been saying...
They have a thing for strappy, tying things...
I've been saying... they are different y'all. Listen to me.
So what are Jimin and Jungkook trying to tell us? Why show us these things? Are these just stylists choices? I think not. There are too many instances for any of it to be coincidence or just a "stylists choice."
The members are too involved in how they express themselves individually during this solo era. Sexual kink is not really a big deal but why even go there? Personally, I love seeing them express ALL sides of themselves. The hints Jimin has given us are more and more explicit as time goes on. I don't buy the argument that "they don't know what that means." Of course they do. They are grown men. They are not virgins. They are living breathing red-blooded males in the prime of their lives.
The way they are presenting these concepts to us is still very conservative when compared to what I see from western artists. What Jimin and Jungkook have shown us, especially Jimin... is very tasteful, elegant, teasing and thought provoking, not raunchy and in-your-face. I want to say to some western artists: I would prefer not to have your twat in my face so please close your legs. But alas...
And now it is Jungkook's time to show us his colors. For some reason I don't mind his crotch in my face... I digress...
Anyway... JK live post coming soon. He's a hoot.
EDIT: Whoa someone got triggered (lmao). Yes, its a very cool ring. And its ok if its just a cool ring for some or most people. Cuz, wow, cool ring. What I said though was the ring "has connotations". I did not say this ring was designed specifically with this in mind. (Reading comprehension is appalling these days.)
But you know... the designer doesn't have to be associated with the lifestyle or even had any intention of associating their design with anything specific. But someone IN the lifestyle would recognize the design motif. This particular ring's attached ring is a "spring" clasp? Like what you use to clasp necklaces? So um... you could attach a chain easily to this ring? I see. Well. Cool ring bro.
And it's also ok if you don't want to see the message Jimin is expressing. I'm sure he's used to people turning a blind eye on what he's trying to say. It's also ok to say your opinion differs from mine and not try to make your opinion the correct one because honestly, no one knows anything and to think you do know, well... that would be next level dumb wouldn't it?
#jimin is a slytherin for a reason#people might not see it right away#he enjoys being scolded... ahem#you might can fool most of them but i see you two#nothing wrong with a lil healthy kink#fanfic writers have the dynamic wrong tho
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3.6k, Joel x virgin f!reader x Uncle Tommy SUMMARY: You lose your virginity to Joel with Tommy’s emotional and physical support and his horny, reassuring presence. WARNINGS: I8+ ONE SHOT PWP, mild dubcon (coaxing) virginity loss, very soft, unsafe piv, creampie, dirty talk, light degradation, self-pleasure, daddy kink, MFM-ish but no holes for Tommy, unspecified legal age gap, innocence kink, use of she/her for vag, happy reader but not a healthy relationship w/ clear boundaries. A/N: happy valentine's day! 🖤 FIC RECS at the end.
Miller bros. sharing masterlist
Joel was out for the day, and you were taking a nap with Tommy. He was spooning you under a soft blanket on top of the bed. When you woke up, you felt it again–the hardness pressed against you, through his boxers. His massive belt buckle had been hurting you, so he took his jeans off altogether. He took yours off while he was at it.
When you began to stir awake, Tommy sighed as he pulled you back against him with a subtle push of his hips, which sent a rush of blood to your loins. When you fully woke up, Tommy’s hand was resting on your hip, and your panties were dripping wet. That’s supposed to be for Joel. You scooched your hips forward a little, and Tommy propped himself up with an elbow.
“What’s wrong, beautiful?” His fingers drew light, aimless circles on your shirt, over your tummy.
“Nothing,” you mumbled with your body tense.
“Relax, baby,” He murmured, and dipped his head. He pressed a slow kiss onto your cheek.
You tried to relax. “Sometimes, when you get really close, I feel like I feel with Daddy”
“How’s that, baby?”
“Don’t make me say it,” you whined.
“Nothin’ to be ashamed of.”
You sighed. “Wet. Tingly. Like I want him to get home.”
“Mmm hmm,” Tommy nodded.
“That’s s’posed to be for him," you whispered.
“It’s natural, baby. Don’t you worry ‘bout that.”
He gently rested a hand on your panties. "How ya feel down here. . ." his fingers trailed up your tummy, up your sternum, between your breasts. “Got nothin’ to do with how ya feel here,” he whispered and tapped his fingers on your chest. “Just how our bodies work, sugar.” He caressed your chest, and his breath was humid on your ear. “That sweet lil pussy don’t care whose cock this is.” The stiff shape nudged your back side. “She knows it’s big, and hard, and ready for her. ‘S’all she cares about.” His hand slid up and gently cupped your breast. His crude words made you twitch.
“He’s gonna put it in soon,” you told Tommy.
“Yeah,” he whispered and rested his head, nestling your head under his chin. “Think you’re ready for it?”
“I think so,” you answered, “but I’m nervous.”
“'bout what, baby doll?”
“Is it gonna hurt?”
Tommy scooted back and nudged you so your back was flat on the bed. He propped up his head, read your face, and wet his lips. “Prolly a little, yeah.”
“What’s it gonna be like?”
“Oh, baby. You're gonna love it. You're gonna want it all the time."
"What's the hurt gonna be like?"
Tommy hesitated, then asked, "Gave ya the tip already?”
You nodded.
He lightly dangled his hand over your hip so his fingertips grazed your panties. He let his fingers wander down the cotton until you opened your thighs.
“Good girl,” he whispered with a smile as two fingers slid over your clit, making you throb. His middle finger reached the damp crotch of your panties. “Mmm, baby. You’re gonna be just fine.” He prodded at the wettest spot and inhaled sharply as the fabric dipped into you. “Well, he’s gonna put it here again.”
His two fingers slid up, pausing to ghost your clit for a few seconds, making you whimper. “Shhh, I’ll come back for ya,” he cooed, and pressed a light kiss to your temple. Then his hand continued up your mound. “But this time,” Tommy said, “He’s gonna keep pushin’.” His fingers slowly trailed up, nudging under the hem of your worn, cotton shirt, until his middle finger dipped into your belly button. “He’s gonna be all the way up here, baby.”
You squirmed under his light touch. “And it’s gonna hurt?”
“Not too bad,” he reassured you. “Know why?”
“Why.”
“Cause ya want it real bad. Makes your pussy get real wet.”
Your face burned.
“She’ll burn a little. She’s gotta stretch for Daddy Joel.”
“How much?”
“Oh, baby,” Tommy’s voice dropped, and his hard cock grazed your thigh. “She’ll stretch real good. She’s gotta.”
"How do you know I can do it?"
"Trust me, sweet girl." You looked at him skeptically.
"Tell ya what. . .if I'm wrong, you can braid my hair, how's that?"
You silently laughed and nodded.
"Don't get too excited about my hair, now," he smiled. "Cause you're gonna take that cock real good."
Tommy slid his hand down, out from under your top, and made a loose fist. “One day, she’ll prolly fit this.” Your heart skipped a beat. No way. He looked at his fist and wet his lips, then glanced at your face and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Whatcha think, baby?” he brought his fist down to your panties and began to graze your most sensitive place with his knuckles, taking slow, heavy breaths. His eyes were hazy with desire. His wouldn't even fit between your legs unless you were spread wide.
“Too big,” you answered with your heart rate picking up.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” Tommy whispered. “One day. . . not yet. Daddy Joel ain’t that big. You can take him.”
“But he’s big,” you protested.
“Yeah, baby. He’s big. But you’ll be alright.” He uncurled his fist and laid his massive hand on your mound. “I’ll be right there with ya.”
“You will?” you perked up. You loved Joel, wouldn't change a thing about him. No one compared to Joel -- his presence, his touch. But Tommy had a way with words, and Joel wasn't much of a talker.
“Sure, baby. We’ll be real careful. Alright?”
“Okay,” you answered with a hint of hesitation. Tommy ghosted your clit through your panties again, then slid down and tapped the soaked fabric. “Know what this hole’s made for?”
“What?”
He brought his lips to the shell of your ear and whispered, “Takin’ dick and pushin’ out babies." You twitched and bit your lip.
You squirmed and throbbed.
“Want me to take care’a this?” He asked and ran two fingers up and down the wet cotton covering your seam, making you ache with need. “Mmm,” he thrust against your hip.
You shook your head no. But feeling like you could burst, you slid your own hand down your panties. Tommy pulled his hand out of the way, watching in wonder. He adjusted himself and you moaned softly at the push of his cotton-clad arousal.
“Fuck,” he whispered as you closed your eyes.
You felt your breast with your other hand. “Mmm,” you moaned. You squeezed your thighs together and touched yourself. It took less than a minute for your whole body to flex as you came undone, with Tommy breathing heavily and slowly rutting against your hip. You opened your eyes as you finished coming and his face was spellbound.
“Do me a favor, baby,” he breathed. “Lemme borrow some’a that juice.”
Your face burned, but you slid your hand down your panties compliantly, making Tommy groan. He took his stiff cock out, and your upper body heated up. He held his erection for you, and you wiped your slick on it as unsexy as you could.
“Good girl,” he whispered.
“I don’t wanna-”
“Don’t gotta do nothin’, baby. Don’t gotta look.”
You closed your eyes and listened to his hand squishing around his cock under his grunts and sighs until he came with a shudder. You kept your eyes closed, but you could smell his cum and it made your mouth water.
—----
In the following days, whenever Joel touched you, you wanted him inside. But when he fucked your thighs and you felt the heft of his cock sliding against your folds, the girth of him scared you. you remembered Tommy's fist, and somehow, that made you tingle and relax.
Joel told you he was going to make a special day for you to show you how much he loved you. He said Tommy would be there, too, and you knew that would be the day. Throughout the week, Tommy kept checking in and reassuring you, “You’re gonna take it so good, baby.” If you had any doubts, he’d say, “I’m gonna be right there,” affectionately stroking your cheek. You talked more about what to expect. "Prolly won't come the first few times. That's okay, that's normal."
-
When the day came, they woke you up with a special breakfast and a bouquet of wildflowers. Joel helped you put on a dress you didn’t have before. It was comfy, with elbow-length sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. It was a little tight on your breasts, but he and Tommy liked it that way. You could tell by the way their eyes lingered.
Tommy made dinner while Joel set the table with flowers and candles. You ate a light meal in the candlelight and took half a glass of wine. While you and Joel finished your wine, Tommy retired to the bedroom. At the table, Joel looked at you adoringly and held your hand. His eyes were soft, and his beard sparkled in the candlelight. “No one like you, baby.” He kissed your hand, your lips, and pulled you into his lap.
Tommy returned and gave Joel a nod. Joel blew out the candles.
“Ready, princess?” Joel asked. You nodded and asked to use the restroom. He took your hand and led you into the bedroom. There were candles and flowers--so much lavendar. When it filled your nostrils, you felt soothed.
-
When you were ready, you came out from the bathroom and sat down on the bed. Joel knelt before you and kissed his way down your body before removing your dress, leaving you in your bra and panties. Tommy propped up some pillows and took off his jeans and shirt before reclining on the pillows and spreading his legs.
“Go ‘head, baby,” Joel coaxed, caressing your thigh. “Uncle Tommy’s got ya.”
You laid back against Tommy’s bare, barrel chest, and his skin was warm against yours. “Let’s get comfortable,” Tommy murmured and put your hands on his thighs. He lightly rubbed your arms as you laid your head back against him, your head resting in the crook of his neck. You leaned your temple against his jaw, and he kissed your head.
Joel undressed, and the bulge in his boxer briefs made your breath hitch. You pulled your eyes up to where the waistband dug into his soft tummy. He palmed himself, slowly rubbing the outline as he knelt on the bed and looked at you like he could swallow you whole.
“So gorgeous,” Joel whispered, eyes traveling up and down your body between Tommy’s knees. Joel started at your feet. He gently massaged your calves as he laid soft kisses onto the delicate skin of your feet, then your ankles. He gently spread your legs.
“Little more, baby,” Tommy whispered, and you spread them wider, knees up in the air. “Good girl."
Joel was on all fours between your legs. He slowly made his way up your body, leaving open-mouthed kisses up your legs until he reached your inner thighs. He sat up and palmed his growing bulge, looking at you hungrily. Joel hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and backed his way down the bed as he pulled them off. Tommy’s chest nudged you forward so he could unclasp your bra. You let it fall off, and Tommy put it aside. You relaxed back into him, and he kissed you on the crown of your head.
Joel returned between your legs, lowered his body, and gave your thighs some attention. He kissed them with tongue, lightly sucking, barely nibbling. He breathed through his nose, and you could see him growing hungrier as he approached your cunt.
“Gonna make ya come first,” Tommy whispered. He held one of your hands and stroked your other arm, which had a calming effect. "It'll help ya stretch."
Joel got down on his elbows and hooked his hands under your legs to rest atop your thighs. His pinkies rested in the creases where your thighs met your hips. “Love you, baby,” Joel’s eyes sparkled as he looked up at you.
He took a few deep breaths and lowered his hips flat against the bed. You tilted your hips, and he dragged his nose up your dripping cunt, inhaling through his nose. “Oh, baby,” he breathed. He lapped at your cunt, and you moaned. He brought one hand to your entrance and rested his other hand on your lower abdomen. He slid a thick finger inside, then, after a few, slow pumps in and out, he carefully added a second digit, making you gasp softly.
You watched Joel's ass flex, his hips pressing into the mattress as he devoured your pussy, lapping up every drop. Tommy whispered in your ear, "Feelin' good, sugar? Feel her gettin' ready?" He circled your bare nipples with his light touch while Joel’s mouth stayed on your throbbing clit with his fingers inside. Joel added a third digit, and you felt so full. "Mm," you moaned, and Tommy gave a low whistle. "Look at you takin' all those fingers. Hungry, ain't she?"
Joel groaned into you as you took his three fat fingers. This time it was easier than ever. Tommy cupped your bare breasts, and Joel worked your clit with his tongue, leaving his fingers inside. Joel's massive hand on your mound held you steady when you began to squirm.
You whimpered, and Tommy said, “Let it happen, sugar.”
Joel moaned deeper, louder into the apex of your folds, and his hips dug deeper into the mattress.
“Squeeze his fingers,” Tommy urged you.
You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and let the climax seize you. You whimpered, "daddy," and clenched around Joel’s fingers. As your orgasm waned, Tommy slid his hands off your breasts to lightly rub your arms again.
When your eyes fluttered open, Joel cupped your cheek, his beard shiny with your slick. “That was good, baby." He kissed you deeply, and you tasted yourself. When your lips broke apart, he whispered, “you’re gonna do so good." He kissed down your cheek, to your chin, then your neck. He dragged his lips down your chest to your breasts. He swirled his tongue around your nipple, then sucked, humming “Mmm,” as it further sharpened under his tongue. He did the same with the other nipple, then kissed you on the mouth again. He leaned his forehead against yours for a moment, then pulled back and asked, “You ready, baby?”
You nodded. Joel pulled down his boxer briefs, and his cock sprang free, stiff and commanding. "Look at that," Tommy whispered, his lips brushing the top of your ear. "She's gonna swallow it up, baby."
Even with Joel's boxer briefs off, a slight indentation remained where they were, just below the tanner, pudgier skin of his lower tummy. He idly ran his fingers through the trail of hair below his belly button. Then he lined himself up.
"Gonna be just fine," Tommy reassured you. Your heart was racing as Joel's leaking tip grazed your wet, needy hole. You flinched and Joel pulled back, making his cock spring up. He leaned over you and kissed you one more time. You reached for his chest and smoothed his chest hair. “Love you so much,” he whispered. "You okay?" You nodded.
Joel’s hand returned to his stiff, veiny cock. The swollen tip dragged against your clit as he brought it down to your tight, wet hole and notched it just inside. Tommy was getting hard against your back, and you had hardly noticed until it twitched at the sight of Joel ready for entry.
Joel pushed slightly forward. The stretch was already starting, with just the tip. You took a deep breath and held onto Tommy’s knees, petting his soft leg hair with your thumbs. Your breaths became shallow as Joel began to slowly push into you.
“Breathe, baby,” Tommy reminded you. You breathed in the lavender and felt yourself relax. "Yeah." Tommy shifted under you, and his erection pressed harder against your back.
“Good girl,” Joel murmured and looked you in the eyes.
“Daddy,” you whispered.
“Yeah, babydoll.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too, baby.”
With less than two inches inside, Joel's chest was heaving like he was holding back.
He moved his hips slightly forward. It burned, and your eyes burned a little. You pinched Tommy's knee hair and he flinched. You remembered to blink.
"Shhh, it's okay, baby. The burn ain't forever," Tommy reminded you. "She needs a second," he told Joel.
Joel paused for your body to catch up, until the burn began to fade. You relaxed against Tommy again.
“You good?” Tommy whispered in your ear. You nodded. "Look at her stretchin' 'round daddy's fat cock." You kicked your lips and braced for more. "Loves it, don't she?" Tommy whispered. "That pussy looooves cock."
Joel pushed a smidgen further, and you felt his girth dividing your soft, wet walls as he went deeper.
“She’s doin’ so good,” Tommy gushed.
“Mmmm,” you sighed as Joel pushed further, splitting you apart. The stretch burned again, and you flinched.
Joel paused, and you nodded, “It’s okay.” Tommy brought his hand between his body and yours, and when you were flush against him again, Tommy's warm, naked cock was pressed against your back.
Joel pushed forward again. He was biting his lip, and his face was getting red as he inched into you.
“Almost there,” Joel breathed. “Takin’ it so good, baby.”
Knowing you were good at taking his cock made you beam with pride.
“You gonna take all of me, baby?" Joel looked down at your stomach and muttered, "Oh, God."
"I can do it," you nodded.
“I think you’re gonna do it," Joel nodded back. He made one final push, taking up all the space you had, then his body was flush with yours. “Oh, ffuu--Oh, God." Joel pinched his eyes shut. "Ohhh,” he moaned with his cock fully sheathed in your tight little hole. Your walls twitched and you felt your core getting even wetter as it settled around his girth.
"Baby, you feel--ohh, so good, baby-" It looked like Joel was shaking with pleasure. A sweat had broken out on his brow.
"Both gotta breathe," Tommy reminded you.
Joel took a deep breath, then dipped his head to kiss you. Tommy was rock hard against your lower back.
“I love you inside me,” you whispered.
"Most beautiful place I ever been," Joel said.
Tommy stroked your arms, and you lifted a hand to tangle your fingers in Joel’s hair. Joel kissed your neck, then began to rock into you. Tommy’s hips subtly lifted in rhythm, grinding against your back. His breaths became heavy.
Joel's face bore a look you'd never seen. “Oh, God, you feel good, baby–Ohh–so good.” Joel rocked in short pulses, and each passing moment, you felt a little more relaxed. His cock was huge inside you. It felt even bigger than you thought it could be.
“So wet for me,” Joel breathed. “Such a good girl.” He kissed you again, his lips pulling on yours. His cock stayed inside, gently rocking, keeping you full. Your insides felt snug around him.
“Fu—oh, baby–oh, shit,” Joel panted, agony spreading across his face.
“You can do it,” you whispered. “I want it.”
Joel nodded. “Ok, baby.” He let his hips rock a little faster, short little pushes, all the way inside. Then he took a deep breath and so did you. Tommy held onto your sides.
“Ohh God, baby. Ohh–Unnggghhh,” Joel began to pulse inside, filling you with warmth.
You moaned and sighed, and Tommy rutted against your lower back.
As Joel finished emptying himself, he gave you one last kiss, long, deep, and slow, moaning into your mouth as the last of his seed topped off the rest.
Joel was panting, and so were you. Tommy’s hips stilled against your back.
"I'm gonna pull out now, okay? Gonna make sure you're alright," Joel said. As Joel pulled out, Tommy reached between you to adjust himself, tucking his massive hard-on back into his boxers.
Joel's cock retreated, dragging between your walls, then it fell out with a heavy bob. You felt empty for a moment. "Good girl," Joel whispered as your body drew itself back together. He backed down the bed. You began to close your legs, not wanting to feel so empty, but Tommy said, "Keep'em open" and nudged your knees outward again.
Joel lowered his head to look at your cunt. "So pretty, baby. Just gorgeous." He spread you open with his thumbs. "Oh, baby, you did so good." He thumbed your clit and when you twitched, you felt some cum trickle out. "Oh, yeah," he whispered, and thumbed it back into you. "Wanna come again?" He began to lower his mouth.
"Mmm," you thought about it, and he paused. "Maybe later. I feel sticky."
"Ok, baby." He gave your cunt a kiss and let you close your legs.
---
Joel took you to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and he smiled to himself when you both heard Tommy moaning. Your face heated up, and Joel whispered, “Uncle Tommy’s gotta come, too.”
After cleaning you up, Joel sat down on the lid of the toilet seat, and you stood between his knees. He helped you onto his knee. Your gaze went down his body, over his strong chest and its salt and pepper hair, down his soft stomach, and the other hair, to his softer, but still chubby cock. Joel’s eyes sparkled as he looked at you. He kissed you again. Then Tommy groaned, and Joel broke the kiss with a chuckle.
You went to bed nestled between the two of them.
-
-
Thank you for reading and tysm for your support 🖤
This was born when I got to thinking, what if uncle tommy was a virginity loss doula?
Same trio/AU:
Stuffing
Sweet little mess
Uncle Tommy Breeding fantasy drabble
There's a virgin section on my master list.
RECS: If you like these brothers sharing, a few of my faves include
I can be your pretty girl part 4 and part 5 (but the whole series) by @walkintotheriveranddisappear
Liquid Gold and its prequel Two Hands to Hold by @gasolinerainbowpuddles MY ROMAN EMPIRE
Smack my b*tch up a raider AU by @milla-frenchy.
To freeze or thaw, a raider AU by joelscruff.
Bad Blood, Step Uncle Joel and Stepdad Tommy by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog
tag list - : @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @may-machin @sloanexx @paleidiot @yourmistysecret @bean-is-reading @rainstorms-library
#joel miller x reader#tommy miller x reader#joel miller x reader x tommy miller#female reader#loss of virginity#cw dubcon#uncle tommy#toxicanonymity ☠️#cw degradation#virginity loss doula uncle tommy#joel miller smut#miller bros x reader#tommy miller smut
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to hold your hand in mine +18 (shuri x riri)
riri has a fear of drowning, and shuri wants to help, but she finds it’s more of riri’s guilt thats haunting her.
riri centric, i could write essays about this woman 🫶🏽
this is more so a character and relationship study piece i’ve been dying to write for these cute lil lesbians for a very long time. healthy black lesbian relationships mean a lot to me so i had to write them again!! this is more so angsty than most of my stories so expect that! (queen ramonda is alive, namor is dead)
warnings; established relationship, descriptive nightmares, LOTS of survivors guilt, thoughts of death, panic attacks, fear of death and drowning, talks of death, small argument and slight miscommunication, lots of crying, heavy feelings of guilt, protective! shuri/ strap on sex, slight hair pulling, soft core sex, more crying, overstim, pet names, first time, praise kink, communication.
song inspo: ceilings by lizzy mcalpine (please go listen!)
dedicated to all the shuriri lesbians/sapphics out there, i see you and understand you 🫶🏽
tag list!! @shuriszn @msplayas @zayswriting @dejaonline @fetchyourlife @crispynightmaremagazine @verachii @bubshri @karimwillia @ashleighshaw @letitias-fav @neptoons1998 @shurixririshipper @cansah2002-blog @widowmakker @tuesdaylovesu @chocoflagcutii @zhanylai @blackgirlfariy @i-luvv-stars @heartsforjojo @kamorsstuff @jessiap @pidgemotoiii @shuriris-suff @shurixririshipper
riri wakes up with a jolt, the air flying out of her lungs, gasping deeply, as she grounds herself on the bed, squeezing the sheets between her hands. she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to count back from 50 like her therapist said, but her ears are still ringing, her eyes are still burning, she can still hear shuri, “mama! mama, wake up, wake up!” and it’s too much.
she shudders, still trying to count, finding the kimoyo beads shuri gave her on her wrist and toying with them, just to feel something to calm herself. griot alerts, “is something wrong, ms williams?” and riri blinks, looking down and letting out an uncomfortable laugh, “no, no, i’m fine. sorry to wake you… well, i guess you don’t sleep,” she says softly, moving the sheets away from her legs and sitting on the edge of the bed and shaking her leg.
griot starts, “do you want me to call the panther for you?” and riri’s stomach aches, her head ringing, “no! no, no, i’m seriously fine. do not call shuri,” she reiterates and griot speaks again, “your heart is pacing at 132 beats a minute and it appears your REM schedule has been disrupted. it seems… did you have a nightmare, princess?”
angrily, riri takes the beds off and sets them on her dresser, it’s too many questions she can’t answer right now. she walks away, heading to her bathroom and running some cool water to calm herself down.
she had been having the same nightmare for over three months now. she’s always drowning, it starts, all the water from the ocean feels like it’s sat on her chest and she can’t move. her eyes aren’t open, but she can see and her brain is unresponsive and nothing makes sense, expect the queen. the queen of wakanda, someone she barely knows is rushing towards her, holding her softly and pulling her to the light. she can feel it on her skin, and she knows someone is giving her CPR because the weight on her chest is a softer one, one of hope and love that wants her to wake up. she never does though, her eyes still closed and even the queen isn’t awake. but she still feels everything, she hears shuri screaming and crying and it tears her up inside, she feels like she’s dying, it’s awful—
riri blinks, the tears in her eyes falling into the sink of running water. she looks in the mirror, when did she start crying? she frowns, wiping her tears away with wet hands and cutting off the light once more, walking in the darkness to her bed. she looks at the clock on her dresser, 4:18 am, and sighs, laying back down and looking at the ceiling.
her thoughts are loud, i can’t breathe, i hate this, i miss shuri, why doesn’t she hate me, why am i alive— and she stirs to her side, closing her eyes and trying to calm herself. her kimoyo beads go off, the only chime it could be being shuri and she turns over to read the message.
shuri : my love, griot says your vitals are spiked are you alright?
riri frowns again, exhaling a deep breath as her tears form once more, why are you worried about me, hate me and make this easier, please —
you: i’m fine, just had a bad dream.
shuri’s response is immediate, do you want to come home? tell me about it?
riri bites at her lip, home, home and safe with shuri, home with the queen and throne room she got drowned in, home with the mother she nearly killed, who almost died trying to save her, you: no, it’s fine.
shuri types again: i’ll be there in the morning.
riri groans, knowing there’s no way to convince shuri she’s fine and rolls over, accepting it. it makes her heart flutter though, to know that shuri loves her that much, but the fluttering ultimately stops when she’s overcome with guilt. why? why does shuri love her? she can’t fathom it, it was so strange to get that long paragraph in the middle of the night four months ago of shuri’s undying love for her. riri remembers staring at the message for so long, hoping to wake up and never see it again.
her therapist says her guilt is making her feel unlovable, like there’s no way someone can be with her and love for who she is and riri always argues that it makes sense! how could shuri love her; she’s the reason the city flooded, the reason namor wanted to kill the queen in the first place, the reason shuri is the queen now! all because she wanted some fucking extra credit? shuri should’ve let her die, she always concludes.
her eyes feel full once her tangent ends, her poor sheets being picked apart at her hands. riri knows there’s no way she can tell shuri any of this, shuri would just make it worse telling her that riri wasn’t at fault and that she had no way of knowing, but what if she did? how convenient is it that a government official ordains her work and accepts it from MIT? it was right in front of her face, she just chose to look away, she’s so fucking stupid—
her beads go off again, shuri: please call me.
her heart is heavy, she can tell shuri is worried and only one of them needs to be awake right now. she calls her on the phone, it ringing once before shuri picks up, “hi, sthandwa, are you okay?” her accent melting over the phone. riri smiles sadly, eyes wanting to spill over, “yea, i’m fine, i told you— just a nightmare.”
shuri picks it up quick though, “you sound like you’ve been crying,” and riri groans inwardly, damn shuri and her intuition. “well, i haven’t, so,” she snaps back, and shuri sighs. “riri,” and the soft call of her name makes her heart ache, she’s squeezing her sheets again, and closing her eyes to brace herself. “you can tell me, you know? i’m always here for you,”
yeah, why? why can’t you just fucking hate me? “i’m literally fine, shuri, now go to bed, you have to be up in the morning to come get me,” riri jokes slightly, trying to move in from this topic as fast as possible. shuri sighs out a laugh, “i will, but i was worried about you. you haven’t slept with your beads on in so long and the one time you do, griot tells me your heart is pacing and you woke up so suddenly, it just reminded me of a not too long ago.”
riri sighs, she had stopped sleeping with her beads in bed so shuri wouldn’t have a track record of the three months of nightmares and waking up to she’s been going through. the first time she did leave them on, shuri was on top of her health just like now; asking questions and checking on her. so she stopped— and she knew it hurt shuri’s feelings, her kimoyo beads being an extension of her love for her all the way in wakanda, so they can always be connected and close to one another— but riri couldn’t do it, she’d have them on all day and when she slept shuri would know, she’d know about her guilt and it would kill riri to think shuri could find out. “yeah i know, it was just another nightmare, im seriously fine,” riri wants to get off the phone, shuri’s voice so close to her and how caring she is makes all of riri’s body ache.
she hears another sigh from her girlfriend, “okay.. i’m choosing to believe you, love, but please. if there’s anything you need—” riri cuts her off, “yes i know, shuri, i’ll tell you. now go to bed so i can see you in the morning, okay?” she can see shuri’s smile who finally agrees and whispers an ‘i love you’ and riri whispers it back, hanging up and sighing. she looks up at the ceiling, tears spilling over into her bonnet and she once more picks at the sheets and shakes her leg.
shuri’s at her dorm, dora milaje and all, at 10 in the morning. riri had already accepted she wasn’t going back to sleep that night and had decided to stay awake and pack. she got a run in around campus, leaving her beads once more, then decided to get breakfast while she wait on shuri.
when they finally meet at riri’s dorm, shuri pulls her into a deep kiss, rubbing up her back and keeping her close. the inches between them makes shuri dip down a bit to do so. riri wraps her arms around shuri’s neck, smiling into her mouth. she pulls away first, “hi,” she says softly, their foreheads touching. shuri smiles down at her, eyes flashing between her lips and eyes, “hi, my love,” and riri wants to double over, shuri’s nicknames might be the death of her one day.
they’re escorted to the jet quickly, everyone at MIT not even surprised the queen of wakanda was here once more to get her girlfriend. they sit close to each other on the plane, riri’s head on shuri’s shoulders as okoye flies steady to wakanda. shuri whispers to her, “did you go back to sleep after i called you?” and riri looks up and nods, “yeah,” and it’s obviously a lie, she knows she looks exhausted, all from crying, not sleeping, and jogging in just the span of 6 hours.
shuri frowns, “you clearly didn’t, we’ll take a nap once we get back,” and riri wants to hide her smile in shuri’s shoulder, playing with her hand as her body heats up. shuri was always so attentive to riri, always making her take care of herself. you don’t deserve it though, her thoughts creep through and she sighs, closing her eyes, just wanting a small moment of peace. she feels shuri stroke her cheek in her hand and okoye announces they’re very close to home.
riri bites at her lips before it slips out, “how’s your mom?” she whispers lowly and shuri smiles a bit, some sadness on her lips, “doing well. she’s still sleeping,” she says back and riri nods, not wanting to push the boundary any further. queen ramonda’s coma was nearly three months old at this point and even with all the wakandan tech in the world and riri’s help, she still slept, breathing deeply and laying silently.
riri remembers when she woke up first, coughing up water and still hearing screams despite her ears full. the queen was breathing, kimoyo beads shining a bright green to show she was alive, just not awake. shuri rushed to her side and aided her immediately, shaking her and giving her cpr, nakia trying to answers shuri’s screams of “why won’t she wake up?!” as fast as she could. okoye came to riri’s side, holding her and asking her if she was alright but riri couldn’t think; why wasn’t the queen waking up? why did riri wake up and she didn’t? namor speaks amongst all the terror, “shuri. you’re the queen now, take responsibility for your actions,” and he points to riri who sits, frozen, before she looks back at the queen, beads still bright with no sign of her waking up.
she shudders at the memory, tucking her forehead deeper into shuri’s shoulder who leans against her, “you can see her, yknow,” she whispers quietly and shuri’s offered it before but riri feels her chest heave, the weight of seeing the queen again pulling her entire body lower into the ship, “no, i’m— im okay, yknow i don’t do good in hospitals,” and she isn’t completely lying, she really does hate all the medicine and iv bags and such, just reminds her of when she was younger. and shuri nods, completely understanding and loving, and it makes riri feel sick.
okoye speaks, “your highness, we are home,” and riri is grateful she doesn’t have to talk anymore. she gets up to look out the window, the city is still fixing itself, some water still be flushed out and some homes demolished and riri shudders and walks away from the window and sits back down. shuri holds her hand once more, “do you want to work in the lab today?” and she nods, knowing she’d rather be distracted than anything. shuri smiles when riri does and the plane lands. she stands first, “but we’ll get some rest first, yeah?” and riri looks into her eyes, tiredly, and nods.
many of the dora milaje grab riri’s luggage and she tries to help to mostly avoid sleeping with shuri but shuri reassures her that it’s fine. they walk down the corridors and pass the lab before riri stops, “one quick project before?” she says slightly smirking, knowing shuri really couldn’t resist. she turns, sighing with a fond smile on her face, “…one. just one,” she reinforces and riri nods and laughs, a genuine noise she hadn’t heard from herself in a minute.
they walk in together, doctors and scientists alike greeting them and shuri walks them over to her side, moving some of her past projects. riri sees another two, three sets of kimoyo beads, but a slimmer, slicker style. she rolls up her sleeves and finds some goggles, “what are these?” she asks, looking at the different styles. shuri turns, gloves and goggles on and smiles a bit sadly, “i was working on making a different design for you, i figured you couldn’t sleep with my original version of beads because they were too big,” she says and kisses riri’s forward before walking past her to get another pair of gloves.
riri sighs, she knows, god fucking dammit, she knows how much it hurts shuri to keep her out, but she can’t afford shuri knowing. she really can’t, “oh, thank you,” she says quietly and shuri comes to back to her smiling and handing her a pair of gloves.
one project turns into five and before they know it, the sun is setting low over the city and shuri and riri have been up and working since they arrived home.
shuri practically forced riri to go and get some food with her, which usually results in shuri leaving with a huff, grabbing some food for the both of them and feeding riri bites as she works. riri of course does the same thing, missing her mouth sometimes because of her height which shuri then promptly makes fun of. they laugh and work together, riri’s mind finally at ease with her thoughts.
it’s only when shuri’s beads go off, griot reminding her she has her daily visit with her mother in fifteen minutes. riri stills, looking at her, “you— you can go, i can finish up in here,” she says and shuri looks at her, words so clearly ready to be said but instead she purses her lips and smiles, “we’ll get some rest after i come back,” and she says it like she won’t let riri stay up any longer, leaning forward and kissing riri’s forehead once more. the contact makes riri smile, tilting up and connecting their lips instead. shuri smiles against her mouth, pulling away before riri distracts her once more. she walks away with another quick kiss and another before finally leaving, riri alone in the lab with googles and tracksuit still on.
she sighs, taking off her goggles and gloves, fiddling with her beads once more. this time griot doesn’t alert, probably adapting to the fact that she likes to mess with it rather than something being wrong. but instead she speaks, “hey griot?”
the system alarms, “yes, princess?” and she bites her lips again, “how long was shuri working on her newest kimoyo beads?” and she knows griot knows. he speaks after a second of calculating, “around 25 days,” and riri’s body floods with guilt, shuri had been working so had to make her accommodations since she’s known about her nightmares. she sighs out, “is there something wrong princess?” and she shakes her head, trying to steady her heart.
“princess, your heart is beating rather fast, should i call the panther?” and more guilt rises, “no, she’s — she’s with her mom, i’m fine, i just need some rest.” riri repeats once she thinks about shuri long enough, sighing and walking out of the lab. shuri is coming out her mothers room, smiling and she looks up at riri, “oh, you’re done? ready for bed then?” and riri steadies her heart and fakes a smile, nodding.
they head to shuri’s room together, hand in hand and riri speaks first, “how was your mom?” and shuri smiles, “good. she talks in her sleep, so sometimes she responds.” and riri smiles and laughs a bit once shuri does too, trying to keep the wave of guilt down in her throat. they reach shuri’s room fast, the bed made and some clothes on it, pajamas riri notes.
shuri speaks, “i figured you’d want to wear mine since you keep taking them anyways,” she says and riri smirks and faces her, “you’re just mad i look better in them,” and shuri laughs, hugging her from behind, kissing her scalp, “maybe. i don’t even wear them anyways, so, mutually beneficial relationship,” she mumbles and riri smiles sadly, holding on her forearms. shuri stays there a bit, like she knows riri needs it, which riri does, so she’s grateful, and then pulls away, the safety of her leaving riri sighing, “i’m going to get ready for bed,” shuri says and riri nods.
once shuri walks off, riri undresses and envelopes herself in shuri’s clothes, the scent of her girlfriend surrounding her and making her smile. she walks into the attached bathroom with shuri, who’s brushing her teeth, and smiles at her in the mirror, seeing that riri’s toothbrush was still here. she starts as well, leaning against shuri and eyes closing slightly, the lack of sleep she got finally catching up to her. shuri’s saying something to her but her eyelids are heavy and she can barely hear her. “riri,” shuri whispers and she looks up, blinking and toothbrush still in her mouth. “i was saying come on before you fall asleep at the sink, love,”
riri nods, complacent enough to just listen and spits, rinsing her mouth and leaning her head in shuri’s shoulder, who laughs and leads her to her bed. riri falls first, on the left side like she normally does and shuri pulls the covers over her, laying on her right side and cuddling up next to her. riri settles on her collarbone, sighing out a small “goodnight,” and shuri kisses it back on her forehead. riri really doesnt want to go to sleep, she knows she’ll have another nightmare, but her body is exhausted, she can’t move. she hopes tonight will be the one night she doesnt.
her eyelids slide shut as she feels shuri’s breathing on her face and it calms her down, her body finally shutting down.
and she’s dreaming again. and again, there’s no light, she’s surrounded by complete darkness. she feels the water on chest, filling her ears and surrounding her skin, and it’s a lot but this is the mild part. she’s waiting, she knows what happens next— the queen comes to her and saves her but it doesn’t help either of them. she knows this and expects it.
but no one comes. her body is sinking lower and lower into the endless sea, and it’s getting darker and darker and the amount of weight of water increases more and more until she feels it flooding her body, filling in every crevice and invading her mind. she tries to move, maybe even open her mouth and scream out for help but her body is stiff, like she’s already accepted this is it. and maybe she has— “riri,” maybe it’s better this way, maybe the queen got out and the real problem was just her and everyone knew she was just dead weight, her stupid fucking extra credit, “riri!” maybe she was left behind for a reason, maybe—
“riri!”
and she opens her eyes, gasping and sitting up, clutching at the t-shirt on her chest, eyes wet and mind reeling. she breathes hard and looks around, this wasn’t her dorm, where was she—?
“ri—” shuri’s voice stirs her, hand on her shoulder and she locks eyes with her confused and still breathing hard, “riri, you were— you were crying, and you wouldn’t wake up, what happened? are you alright?” and shuri’s holding her steady, hands on her shoulders and waiting for a response as riri breathes. she can’t speak just yet, she needs to feel something, she needs something between her fingers.
shuri sees riri’s hands picking at the sheets and picks them up in one of hers, holding them tight and bringing her back down. she’s uses the other hand to pull riri in her chest and keeps her there, holding riri’s two hands in one of hers. shuri shushes her, whispering as riri blinks away her nightmare.
shuris hand in hers calms her. she squeezes, once then twice and shuri repeats the motion. it settles her heart, and she breathes slower and slower as time passes. once it’s finally over, riri hides away in shuri’s chest, eyes wet and full and mumbles out, “i’m sorry,”
and shuri gapes at her, no tension or anger in her voice but all confusion, “for what?” and riri sniffles, still hiding, “for.. for scaring you, i guess,”
shuri sighs, “you had a panic attack, you shouldn’t apologize love,” and she says it like it’s a simple understanding and riri nods like she gets it but it doesn’t matter, she still feels sorry and completely useless, like some type of anchor shuri has to carry around now.
shuri speaks again, “can you… can you tell me what you were dreaming about?” and it’s said softly, shuri knowing she’s treading in the water that riri was both afraid of and never wanting to cross. she shakes her head in shuri’s chest and shuri sighs again, “riri, i… i want to help you, my love, please tell me how.” riri’s body heats up with embarrassment. she shakes out of shuri’s embrace and wipes her face, “there’s nothing you need to do,” she whispers harshly, getting up and heading towards the bathroom.
shuri frowns at her in the bed, slightly grabbing her wrist and keeping her there, “what do you mean, ‘need to’? i want to help, you just had a panic attack in your sleep so im worried—” riri cuts her off with a jolt of her shoulders, “don’t. shuri, stop it,” shuri’s eyebrows lower and riri avoids eye contact, trying to keep all the tears and word vomit in her head. her thoughts are begin, see? all you do is stress her out, every since you met it’s completely useless in telling her, you’d just cause more trouble, “look, just.. just let it go okay?” she whispers once her thoughts get too loud, and she means it literally, but her subconscious knows she means it over all too; she wants shuri to let her go, to stop worrying and keeping her around its so fucking useless—
“no.” her girlfriend replies, standing and moving riri around to look at her, “i don’t know who’s told you what, but i want to help you, love, i won’t let it go. you’re my girlfriend and i love you, so please, tell me.” and it’s a hushed promise in the night that has riri blinking away tears more and more before she can’t do it. her entire chest feels like the world is on top of it, she can feel every breath she takes spiking her lungs and it’s torture. some tears spill while she’s looking everywhere but shuri’s face, but a gentle hand guides her back to it, shuri looking at her with encouraging and loving eyes, and riri breaks.
her whole body heaves in, eyes spilling over and she falls forward, shuri enveloping her with ease and love, holding her steady as riri just sobs. it’s completely ugly and loud and embarrassing but she can finally let it go, and shuri doesn’t say a thing, she hold riri tight, not tight enough to restrict her lungs— as riri’s breathing heavy and hard— but tight enough to let riri know she’s right there.
and riri accepts it; squeezing at shuri’s back and holding her tighter than she’s ever held her before, her eyes stinging and lungs burning as she sobs quietly. “i’m— im so sorry, i’m such a fucking idiot, i’m sorry—” riri’s mumbling out, and shuri pulls away, wiping her face, shaking her head, “no, you have nothing to apologize for, my love, it’s fine—”
and for cuts her off, shaking her head and still holding on to her hands, “no, no it’s not fine, i— i hurt you, and your family, and your mom— fuck, it’s all my fault, my stupid fucking project, the only reason namor was here was because of me, shuri, it is my fault, i— i’m sorry,”
and shuri gasps a bit, finally understanding. riri had felt like she was the reason for all of this— her mom, the city, the war they had, shuri becoming the black panther in the first place. she had been struggling with this guilt all this time and didn’t even say anything. shuri’s heart broke, how could she not have know? she blinks, there’s not time to feel sorry for herself, she thinks and gathers herself, still wiping riri’s tears and holding her close. “riri,” she whispers softly and riri hiccups and sobs, before breathing steady and look at her, eyes red and body still shaking.
shuri smiles sadly at her, “i know how you feel,” she says and riri frowns, not understanding. shuri continues, “i know the guilt and blame you feel for not doing something sooner, for not knowing earlier. i know, my love. if i had known my brother was sick, i would have saved him,” she whispers the last part to riri alone and riri’s eyebrows raise a bit, eyes burning. shuri’s eyes fill a bit, “but i did the best i could with what information i had. i tried, love. i tried so hard. and you did too. you are, in fact, trying so hard to make it right, correct?”
riri starts to retort but shuri doesn’t let her get it out, “you are,” she answers for her, “immediately after what namor had done to you, to my mother, you helped me make my suit. you helped us develop the heat devices to dry him out, yes? you helped me because you wanted to, because you wanted to try and make it right,” riri starts to shake her head, to retort and not accept shuri’s reasoning but shuri keeps her still.
“you have nothing to feel guilty over,” she whispers, looking deep into her eyes, trying to convey the best she could. riri blinks, eyes still leaking and a small smile forms on her lips, “yeah?” she says softly and shuri nods again, smiling back, “i promise,” and riri actually, truly believes her.
riri sleeps all throughout the entire night after shuri wipes her faces and kisses her over and over again. she doesn’t dream, her mind just feels like it’s floating in a spacious peace for the night.
when she wakes up, it’s the first time she feels rested. riri doesn’t have the angst she normally does in her heart, and she doesn’t immediately start pulling at her sheets. she blinks a bit, fixing her scarf and sitting up, realizing she’s alone. she looks down at her wrist, “griot, where’s shuri?”
and it speaks, “with the queen. she appears to have woken up,” and riri’s body moves before she can think. she’s awake, she’s awake, i have to see her, thank her, her mind is reeling, brushing her teeth as fast as she can, and rushing out of the door. she gets to the queens room fast, the large golden doors starting back at her. riri’s hand shakes as she lifts it to knock, fingers tingling and she taps twice.
before shuri comes to the door, riri breaths in and out, calming herself. shuri opens the door, eyes wet and smile bright, “good morning,” and riri smiles, “hi,” she says softly, just looking past her. shuri laughs a bit, “oh right, you’re not here to see me, mother you’ve got riri more than i do, i can’t believe it,” and shuri’s joking and riri hears it, a soft, quiet laugh from queen ramonda as shuri steps aside, revealing the queen.
riri’s heart almost breaks, she still looks so sweet, smiling and eyes low and obviously still waking up. she sat up, her hair in small twists and oiled, something she knew shuri would take the time to do. riri’s eyes nearly fill in seconds as she walks forward stuttering, “i’m— im sorry, and thank you, i’m so happy you’re awake, i’m so sorry, i—” and queen ramonda waves her hand, shaking her head, “child, you are safe. that is all i wanted, and you see? i am fine, stop saying sorry,”
and riri feels the way she did last night, ramonda felt like she was the last word, when she’s finally at her bed, ramonda takes riri’s hands in hers, pulling her close. and riri leans in, blinking and crying softly, “you make my daughter so happy, riri. and i knew she’d have someone to look after her, if not me,” and riri nods, wiping her eyes and smiling and shuri pipes in, “you never told me that, did you know riri and i were dating before then? because we werent,” she says looking at the both of them, sitting at the edge of the bed.
“ah, a mother always knows,” she smiles out and riri bites her lip, “that’s… that’s okay, right? like do i need your permission or anything?” and she means it honestly and ramonda laughs, “no, you’re both grown, shuri knows what she wants and i’m sure you do too. no need to ask for anything my love, you have a home here,” and riri nods, smacking her lips once she hears shuri mumble, “i said that too,”
the rest of the morning is spent talking. ramonda tells shuri of the dreams she had. how she spent time with her husband and saw her brother in law. t’challa had visited her a couple of times as well and shuri would tear up and squeeze her hand. the three of them talked for hours, well into the afternoon, and griot had to alert one of the scientists to bring the three of them lunch, as they hadn’t even eaten.
ramonda was up and moving after her second check in during the midday, smiling and laughing as her legs wobbled a bit as she got used to walking again, shuri there all the way helping her. it made riri happy, some of the guilt she still felt in the back of her brain fogged away with joy and forgiveness, finally happy and clear minded.
and shuri was next to her and ramonda the whole time, holding her hand when riri wasn’t sure if she should ask a question and encouraging her to talk. ramonda did the same, listening sweetly and nodding along as riri spoke, cooing her and coaxing her to open up about her nightmares and she always reassured her, “i would have saved you in every lifetime, you should not feel guilty about that,” and riri always smiles, playing with her hands that eventually become shuri’s instead.
the day ends quickly, doctors and scientists aided queen ramonda to her actual room, shuri helping her there. riri stays behind a bit, watching softly before ramonda turns to her, “you take care of yourself, alright?” and riri feels her eyes weld up again and nods, shuri smiling at her.
riri walks to shuri’s bedroom lightheaded. she plays with her kimiyo beads, this time not anxious but just pleasantly bubbly. she giggles a bit when she sits back down on the bed. she’d normally dread this part of the day, heart heavy and brain nervous about going to sleep but she just feels… content.
shuri comes in a moment later while riri’s deep in thought. “hey, are you alright?” and riri smiles and walks to her, opening her arms and pulling her into a deep hug, smiling hard into her neck. shuri of course accepts it, pulling her close and laughing a bit, “what?” shuri whispers and riri pulls back to look at her, feeling all the love in the world.
she shrugs a bit shy, “just… thank you, i guess. and i’m sorry i didn’t say anything, again, i was just—” shuri shakes her head, “it’s fine, i’m just happy you’re feeling better now, right? nothing else you want to say?” and riri shakes her head, tilting up to connect their mouths.
shuri accepts it quietly, holding her close and sighing into her mouth. shuri rubs up and down her back, and riri moans a bit, feeling shuri’s mouth overcome hers and it’s an amazing feeling, she pulls shuri closer to get more of it. riri’s head reels, suddenly light and fogged, shuri overcoming all of her senses.
riri pulls away first after she feels herself through her underwear, “sorry,” she whispers and looks at how wet shuri’s lips are, body hot. “for what?” shuri says back and riri shys up again, “i don’t know, we’ve never.. yknow done that, so i didn’t wanna push your boundaries,” she says and shuri’s eyebrows raise a bit, pulling riri close, “okay, well what are you comfortable with?” and riri sways a bit, biting her lip and glancing away, “i mean, whatever you’re comfortable with,”
shuri laughs a bit, “okay.. what do you want to do?” shuri emphasizes and pulls riri closer, mouths ghosting over each other, and riri flirts back, “what you wanna do,” she whispers against her mouth, them sliding against each other once more. riri moans a bit louder now, opening her mouth and leaning forward, running her fingers against shuri’s curls. shuri groans a bit when she feels riri tug and it causes riri to smile against her mouth.
they had talked about it, of course. sex wasn’t a conversation either of them strayed from, and they both agreed it’d be best to do it when they had the time and had the mind space for it, as they both took sexual intimacy very seriously. so, it doesn’t surprise riri at all that the time for it was when she finally clears her mind of all the anxieties she had been plagued with.
shuri leads them both to the bed, toppling over riri laughing all the way when they fall and disconnect for a bit. riri’s still in shuri’s pajamas, then just a bit long for her and shuri uses it to her advantage; pulling away from her mouth and kissing at her neck, a place she so rarely is. riri gasps against her, pulling at her curls again, feeling shuri groan against the small space between her ear and neck. it causes her to smile, “you like when i pull your hair?” she whispers,sultry, and shuri pulls away to look at her, pupils blown wide and lips wet, “i like when you do everything,” she says, honest and breathless and riri tries to stop her legs from crossing to hide her arousal. “yeah?” riri asks and shuri nods, sliding her hands underneath her night shirt, riri’s hot stomach connecting with her cold hands.
riri arches into the touch, sighing, and still holding onto shuri’s neck, “yes,” she speaks again, leaning down to kiss riri’s exposed skin. “i like when you’re honest with me,” she mumbles against her chest, pulling the shirt off, exposing her breasts, nipples up and waiting. shuri licks her mouth at the sight of her, “i like when your body is honest with me,” she sighs out, dazed, trailing her hands up to squeeze the skin between her fingers, riri gasping out a moan and closing her eyes and holding on to shuri’s wrists as they play with her.
shuri leans down more, kissing against her, “i love when you tell me what you want,” she says, moving everywhere but where riri needs her. she gets the hint quickly, “please put your mouth on me, shuri,” riri sighs out, eyes glossed over and looking deep into shuri’s. she nods, more for herself, and sucks on riri’s nipples, playing with the other in her hand.
riri sigh and tugs at shuri’s hair again, who groans and bites at riri’s nipples; riri bucking and moaning at the aggression. shuri pulls away, “was that okay?” and riri nods, breathless, “yeah, feels good..” she whispers and shuri nods, sucking on her skin once more, hands traveling lower and lower to slide riri out of her pajama bottoms. riri lifts her hips up to help, her underwear hot and wet between shuri’s wondering fingers. she tries to close them but shuri keeps one hand on riri’s thigh to keep them open, the other sliding up and down her underwear and her mouth still working on her nipples.
riri moans, “shuri… please,” and shuri nearly moans at the sound of riri’s begs. she nods, pulling away from her nipple with a wet pop, and completely focusing all her attention on her pussy, pulling her underwear down with a swift movement. riri’s practically leaking, shuri finds, her clit pulsing softly as she feels herself get stared at. riri moves her legs shyly, “shuri, don’t just stare,” she jokes but shuri takes it seriously, rubbing up and down her legs and looking at her with mesmerized eyes, “you’re so beautiful, nkosazana, i can’t help it, ” she whispers, kissing at riri’s legs and sliding her hands against her thighs. “so gorgeous,” she whispers into riri’s skin.
riri shuts her eyes tightly, the sight of shuri between her legs proving too much for her to handle. shuri kisses at her thighs and the crevices between them and her pussy, riri bucking against her to get some friction where she needs it. shuri takes the hint, kissing riri’s clit and making her gasp out a moan, hands between the sheets and the other attempting to cover her mouth and lessen her moans. but shuri’s mouth works on her likes she’s had riri before, like she’s done this a thousand times. shuri licks at her clit, sucking softly and using some of her panther strength to keep riri’s legs apart. riri moans, back lifting and hands gripping the sheets, “fuckkkk—!” leaves her mouth, eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.
and shuri smiles against her, sucking hard and sliding her fingers past riri’s entrance, one finger being able to push in because of how wet riri was. riri feels it, whining and sighing as shuri fingers her way in deeper, making room for the second finger and pushing through with ease. riri feels her clit begin to pulse under shuri’s tongue, skin prickling and pussy leaking, and it makes her gasp out wetly, “i’m— oh fuck, i’m cumming, shuri, shuri, i’m gonna cum,” and she lifts her hips to practically fuck on shuri’s face, who takes it all, moaning against her still keeping one hand on riri’s thighs to hold her open. riri’s eyes roll back and she tried to let out one more warning but she feels it, riri’s orgasm runs a marathon through her body, pussy leaking into shuri’s fingers and clit pulsing under shuri’s tongue, who doesn’t let up— she sucks and pulls on the uncovered bud, fingers still working diligently inside riri and riri groans, deep gasps leaving her mouth as she tries to move away in overstimulation.
shuri pulls away, sighing, removing her fingers and licking at her lips. riri’s body falls, exhausted and overworked as she comes down from her orgasm. shuri kisses on her thighs, moving her cum soaked fingers against her skin and riri finds her hand, holding it and squeezing. shuri kisses her way up to riri’s mouth, kissing her deeply and putting cum on riri’s lips. riri sighs and pulling her deeper in her available hand, the other letting go of shuri’s and put in her coils. shuri moans once her hand reaches there and she pulls away, “what else do you want, my love?” and she means it sincerely, kissing at her cheeks when she asks the question.
riri giggles, and asks sincerely, “you wanna fuck me?” and shuri gapes at her, laughing, “so explicit! Bast, you could have said that any other way,” she laughs out and stands, walking towards her closet, sliding off her own shorts. riri sits up, mind a bit fuzzy from her orgasm, “what i’m hearing and seeing, is a yes,” she jokes and sees shuri reach for her strap, shaking her head, “i suppose so since you asked ever-so sweetly,” and riri smiles, pulling shuri into a kiss when she comes back.
shuri kisses at riri’s mouth, moving around to find some lube before adjusting her boxers. riri disconnects their lips and watches as shuri moves around the strap. shuri leans down with her, still wanting to be connected and riri can’t help but smile against shuri’s lips, so happy to finally have a clear head and tended heart. shuri pulls away to look at her girlfriend, “what?” she asks sincerely and riri giggles, sighing and opening her legs once shuri touches her thighs and coaxing them open, “i’m just happy. i love you,” she mumbles back and shuri smiles, flashing a glance at her dick against riri’s pussy, then back at her eyes, leaning down once she’s completely lined up, “i love you too,” she whispers back and pushes, riri sighing and whining against shuri’s mouth.
shuri moves slowly against riri, bodies close and touching after shuri’s finally all the way inside riri, who’s gasping against shuri’s lips, “oh, fuckkkkk—” she moans out and shuri smiles a bit, kissing at her cheeks and riri’s hand finds hers, holding it and squeezing. she doesn’t move until riri nods, “move, please, baby,” she whispers and shuri nods, pulling out and pushing back in with a soft thrust. riri gasp, clinging to her forearms and groaning, shuri kissing at her neck again as she thrusts.
she whispers in riri’s ears, “does that feel good, love?” and riri nods and moans, unashamed and holding on. shuri leans up, angling herself at a different position and holding on to her waist and thrusting harder, lifting riri’s thighs a bit to get to her g-spot.
riri groans out, “fuck, fuck, fuck me right there shuri, please— unffffuckk—!” and riri’s body lifts, her thighs shaking under shuri’s touch and she sighs, holding on to them, “you gonna cum, my love?” she whispers and riri nods, eyes seared shut and small tears forming, “yeah, yeah, i’m gonna cum, fuck, make me cum shuri please, please— haaaa, im cumming, baby,—!” she gasps out and her body twitching and her hands ripping the sheets as she cums, pussy squeezing around shuri and her thighs still shaking. shuri’s thrusts come to a halt as riri finishes, shuri leaning down and kissing her, soothing over her thighs and slowly pulling out.
riri moans softly, accepting shuri’s kiss with a tired mouth and a fogged mind. shuri shuffles out of the boxers, sliding the strap away and pulling off of riri’s mouth, “do you need anything love?” and riri blinks up at her dazed and fucked out, shaking her head. shuri laughs a bit, kissing her deeply again before getting up to grab a towel and another shirt for riri to sleep in.
riri lays on shuri’s bed complacent and weak, body finally coming back to life after a while of rest. shuri comes back and kisses her again, helping her sit up and holding her, riri sighing into shuri’s mouth and wrapping her arms around her. she smiles against her mouth, kissing back softly. shuri pulls away first, “i love you,” she says again and riri says it back, eyes closed and heart full.
when riri wakes up, shuri is next to her. she feels light, her body is sore from the night before but all in all she feels amazing, like all the guilt and angst she felt had slipped away into the night.
shuri is still sleeping, breathing deep and her coils popping out her bonnet. riri giggles at the sight, tucking the stray ones in and leaning up to kiss her. shuri wakes up after the fourth kiss, sliding her hands against riris back and keeping her there, sighing into the kiss and moving along with her mouth.
she pulls away, “good morning, sthandwa, how did you sleep?”
and riri smiles, knowing she can finally and honestly say, “good.”
i love shuriri never forget it!! they make me so INSANE IM LOSING BRAIN CELLS OVER THEM i better see 5k edits of shuri and riri on tik tok in february 1st 00:01 EXACTLY!!
anways i hope you guys enjoyed. this story was very dear to me and it means a lot to talk and work through these serious topics with my favorite characters, give them the happiest of endings they deserve!! also the song above just led me to write it, it’s not actually important to the story but it’s a gorgeous song regardless
okay bye!! reblogs and replies are ALWAYS appreciated mwah mwah ❣️
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okay so i know no one cares but the internet is for yelling about your feelings and so i shall do just that! i think education on kink is so misinterpreted by the Youths on the internet (which proves they're too young and immature to even be having convos abt kink...) and there are also many minors who are into all that tiktok written porn and wattpad shit which has sorta leaked onto tumblr as well. and like i can't know who reads or writes that shit but it Smells Of Youth lol, and like and god knows that i read porn as a minor but ...... adksjhfgfdasdjhf you know?? at least i was aware i was in spaces not meant for me lol and behaved accordingly.
so i read a short lil ficlet that was on my recommended page (ofc a larissa/reader thing lol) that i think shows exactly what's wrong with the younger generations (not to sound like an old lady but you know what i mean) and that is that they are more concerned with appearances rather than the content -- that is, something checking all the boxes of safety rather than it actually being safe.
in their crusade for Righteousness and Political Correctness (even tho i hate using that word bc that's what far-right ppl use when they don't like that minorities want to be treated with respect) they forget that like. you can't slap a "this is okay label" on something that isn't okay and that magically makes it okay.
what i mean by that is that in that ficlet -- and it doesn't matter which one it is bc they are all basically the same fic regurgitated over and over again with slight changes -- we are clearly talking about a fucked up scenario: a principal pursuing and wanting to fuck her student! but THEN she says "if you want me to stop just say red" as if that makes it all okay?? it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of safewords and what they are for. nothing was negotiated or talked about, she DEMANDED that this clearly young person call her mommy even though no preferences were discussed prior etc etc.
and my beef with this is like, if you're gonna write a fucked up scenario (and god knows i love those), you should not try to signal with your narrative choices that what is happening is okay, unless it is a literary choice that somehow serves the story. but what i've read and keep reading feels like aha! not problematic bc we are all over 18 and we have safewords! so nothing could ever go wrong :) please, treat a fucked up scenario like a fucked up scenario! commit to your fucked up fantasy goddamit! stop trying to virtue signal! you're writing about a principal fucking her student and abusing her power, which is okay and you should be able to write about that! but she's not uwu mommy askjdhfsg you know?? and i think that's why so many people got mad at me for writing my fucked up shit (inevitable specifically) and it's bc i wrote basically what the narrative they keep writing about would look like in real life lol, and i didn't do any of the performative stuff they do to make it Okay and Not Problematic. someone would end up hurt, i promise you! it's okay to have your fucked up fantasies, just don't pretend they're not just that -- fucked up fantasies that need to be carefully managed if you ever want to engage in something that mimics it in real life.
it's really dangerous that all these Youths keep using bdsm terminology without understanding what it means. safewords, dom/sub dynamics, aftercare... if you write a sexual assault scene and slap aftercare on it, it is still sexual assault. if someone coerces you to have sex with them (and there is more way than one to coerce a person to sleep with you without using any force) but say oh you can have a safeword and i'll stop :))) that is still sexual assault lol. you saying the words doesn't mean anything.
also, i'm not saying there aren't inherent power dynamics in any relationship, not just with age gap stuff which is a popular trope in these fics, but like they need to be addressed and managed if you want to write a Healthy Relationship(TM). there is a social power imbalance between men and women and yet het relationships exist and work! but if you don't wanna write that, if you wanna write your "mommy that sorta rapes me but not really" fantasy, by all means keep doing it but pleaaaase call it what it is! otherwise it's just confusing and harmful for all the young people on these webbed sites.
i am all for fucked up shit, both reading and writing it, and there should be space for everyone to unload their bullshit on the internet. however, problems arise when fucked up shit is being sold as Good(TM) bc it checks certain boxes and basically passes as Not Problematic uwu on a technicality, rather than examining the actual content. there are ways to examine fucked up desires and the dark side the human psyche, but what is not productive is slapping buzzwords on stuff and saying oh it's Moral(TM) now. fiction doesn't have to be moral. please give up on that notion! but if it's trying to be, then it shouldn't endorse prettily packaged sexual assault lol.
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(totally understand if this is too personal/you don't want to answer on anon, I'm just also too embarrassed to direct message) how did you work through religious guilt around sexuality/especially attraction to pregnancy? I'm 28f and finally starting to explore more sexually. I definitely don't want kids but the idea of being pregnant is so hot to me and I feel bad even looking at blogs about it. I know logically there's nothing inherently wrong with finding this stuff hot but ooooh boy shame brain disagrees. If you have capacity/ability to talk about how this was for you I'd appreciate it--I also have felt this way since I was a kid and it was really helpful just to know that someone else had that experience!!! Thank you either way, hope you're well<3
Anon! Thank you so much for asking 🩷
It’s taken me a long time to get here, even just viewing these blogs and seeing this content a few years ago would have REALLY scared me away. I always knew I was interested in pregnancy from a young age, and growing bellies were something that I looked to in absolute awe. I didn’t realize it was something I was thinking sexually about until I was in my teens — and then, I was confused even more because I didn’t know I was gay (lol). To be honest, I don’t even remember coming to the realization it was sexual. THAT is how much I pushed it away in my brain. A lot of my life I’ve been suppressing these feelings, taking them and shoving them in a box and putting them on a shelf. Thinking… okay I’ll save THAT for later.
(Continued below!)
It was this blog that made me come to terms with the fetish and kink in general - and the people I’ve met on here made me realize what I experienced was unlike what they also experienced. That was the first step in me realizing, oh hey, this isn’t fucking weird. Other people have the same thoughts and that’s OKAY!
I also think in general it’s so hard to know the people around you and what turns them on… and tbh, no one needs to know that (unless they want to be forward about it). EVERYONE has something a lil kinky they like, whether they’ve found that thing or not, and at the end of the day I’m grateful I know what turns me on AND that I can (or could) actually experience it one day.
Telling my therapist was a huge step for me as well, I told her about my pregnancy fetish a few months ago and what I thought would be met with judgement and disgust was met with… neutrality. She told me that EVERYONE has their thing, and a huge part of why I’m shameful of it is that I’m embarrassed by SEX. Not my fetish. Embracing your sexuality, especially growing up in religious communities is not easy. We were taught our whole lives to be good little girls and never think about such horrid things - but I’m here to say that thinking about these things is 1. Fun and 2. Teaches you who you are and how your relationship with sex could be!
The next step after telling my therapist was telling my girlfriend. I truly thought in my teens and in college I would NEVER tell anyone about my fetish but here I am, in a healthy and happy relationship, with a partner who loves me AND knows about this blog and my fetish. It is freeing in a way I never knew was possible. Hearing her tell me the show we’re about to start has 3 pregnancies I can look forward to, or her telling me she’s so excited for me to be so hot and pregnant with her babies…. It’s HOT. And it’s what other folks who don’t have our certain fetish experience too. We deserve love. We deserve to be turned on and to not live in shame of who we are.
At the end of the day, as long as we’re not hurting anyone with this fetish, we’re only hurting ourselves by suppressing it.
Sorry for the lengthy response, but you definitely unleashed something in me! Always happy to chat with you if you’re ever comfortable. No need to be embarrassed. I wish you so much love and luck in your journey. 🥳🩷
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What are some of your feelings about awamdream? Any writing about it or drabbles? The ppl need food
Ask and I shall feed you. Also you are so in luck I was literally just thinking about them.
Every Dream ship has a very specific dynamic in my head, and I think AwesamDream is the most versatile of them. Because depending on your mood, you could either have Sam hating Dream so much that he loves him, or loving him so much that he hates him. I see him as generally obsessed with Dream. It was probably just an innocent, platonic lil crush before the prison.
But Pandora's Vault introduced Sam to the concept of Dream beaten up and crying under him, and something inside of him switched when he felt like he was in control of somebody else. Ironically this is what Dream feels towards Tommy, which Sam despises him for. How dare Dream obsess over another man? Only Sam is allowed to do that. When Dream stalks and daydreams about hurting Tommy - it's wrong and obsessive, but when Sam does it to Dream - he's not doing anything wrong because he is a good guy and therefore incapable of being wrong.
More under the cut.
Sidenote. The Drunz dynamic in my head is unwavering trust and loyalty. They can trust each other like nobody else. They have killed and revived each other for science, and for kinks. They feel confident putting their lives into each other's claws and being at each other's mercy. But at the same time they have a very healthy amount of life outside of each other, making them a perfect match, spare for the fact that they don't live together.
But let’s say for the sake of this AU I’m crafting here that they do.
Dream moves in with Punz after he escapes. Not into Punz’s house - into a new base far away from the Mainland. Dream is very traumatized, and Punz wants nothing more than to help him. They don’t even have to try hard - they just treat Dream with human decency again, and it slowly starts to remind Dream that he’s a person with a right to be loved.
(Another sidenote. My Dream is an impala hybrid, Punz is a coyote hybrid, and Sam is a creeper/mantis hybrid).
It takes a few months and Dream realizes that he’s doing so much better than he did before. That is until he comes downstairs to find Punz arguing with Sam. God knows how he tracked them down, but the matter of fact is he is here, and Punz is yelling at him to leave before they kill him.
Dream stays hidden by the doorway, listening to what they’re saying.
“You got some balls showing up here without any armour. You know I could just take your last life, right here, right now?”
“I know, I know. I'm not here to fight or harm anyone. Punz, I just need to see Dream. I need him back.”
“Sure, let me go get him.” Punz jokes, sarcastically, “Do you really think he’s gonna go back to the prison just because you’ll ask him to?”
“This isn’t about the prison!” Desperation is apparent in Sam’s voice. “It’s about me. I realized… I need him.”
Punz continues telling Sam to leave, but then Dream interrupts the conversation, saying that he’s actually willing to give Sam a chance. It’s just that…
“I’m not the same guy that escaped that cell.” Dream says to Sam. “I learned what I’m worth now. If you want to be with me - it’s Punz you’ll be competing with for a right to even be around me. And Sam, I promise to you, there will be many hoops to jump through, and there will be rules and expectations you haven’t even dreamt of.”
Sam nods his head enthusiastically. He’ll do anything. He thinks he’ll die if he doesn’t get to touch Dream again.
His desire to hurt Dream has grown into a desire to protect him over the course of the months that they spent apart. To hold him in his arms, and maybe it’s the Warden side of him that has merged in a tango with the side of him that’s obsessed with Dream. He wants to be the right kind of Warden this time.
During the same scene I imagine Sam tries to touch Dream - not with any malicious intent. He just misses him so much. Maybe Dream walks past him, but trips over something on the floor, and Sam catches him before he falls, gripping his hand by the wrist. Dream ends up pushing him off, startled, then suddenly yells for him to leave, now, right now, immediately. Punz stands between them, emphasizing how important it is that Sam leaves now.
Sam doesn’t get it. Until he hears ragged breathing come from Dream. He’s having a panic attack, from something as small as having Sam grip his hand so that he doesn’t fall over.
He may know better now, but some traumatic events are still too freshly engraved in his brain.
Sam can’t help but feel hurt. He’s finally seeing just how deeply he fucked up the man he just realized he loves with all of his soul.
His path to earning Dream’s trust again would take at least a 300k hurt/comfort slowburn. But this is all you’re getting from me tonight.
#Anonymous#Hoops AU#I guess? I can see at least one more drabble I could write for his idea if you ask again#Drunz#AwesamDream#Dreamwastaken#Punz#Awesamdude#Starving nation asks and malevolent god provides#Benevolent*#Eh both
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I don't usually slide into the ask box of people that I strongly disagree with. It's usually utterly pointless and I usually adhere to a strict "live and let live" policy...but your RD takes are just so deeply unsettling that I am making an exception.
Claiming that RD is softcore porn now is just...not true.
This is not even remotely softcore porn. This is barely erotic. And I think your assertion that the show feels like a masturbatory fantasy from the writers has a lot more to do with the fact that you're personally unhappy with the show's direction than the show itself. It's a bad faith reading on the show, steeped in pearl clutching, Hayes Code romancing, nonsense.
Takes like yours, whether they mean to or not, are begging for the Hayes Code to come back. Begging. "Oh, TV shows should only show good morals and whenever they show something morally ambiguous, it should be clear where the moral failings are".
That's a big part of the Hayes Code. And I, for one, reject that ideology with every fiber of my being. TV shows do not need to be parables. They are under no obligation to preach good morals to their audiences. Their purpose is to express ideas!
And Riverdale is doing a bang up job, if I do say so myself (even if I personally feel it could have gone further with a lot of its plots). It's meta-commentary on Americana, film, and television is unmatched. Its refusal to be any one thing is both brave and fascinating. The show has remained true to its vision despite pissing off much of its audience, which is rare in a landscape of shameless pandering for views. God bless Riverdale for that.
(Speaking only of the show itself here, not its marketing.)
But back to the main point. You claim no one will want to hire the Riverdale writers after this and that you think they should go to prison. That's...honestly a deeply conservative mindset and you're not alone in thinking that, but you are highly visible. So, I bring my thoughts to your ask box.
I implore you to look beyond the surface of the media you consume and to recognize that our reactions to stories have a lot more to do with our own feelings than the stories themselves unless we specifically step away from ourselves for analysis. And hey, there's nothing wrong with having opinions on your own blog, so feel free to dismiss me as a little hater. <3
I apologize that this has gotten so long and if I sounded nasty. I am just so deeply disturbed by the prevalence of purity culture in fandom these days. It starts with "think of the children!" and "No kink at pride!" and ends with the eradication of anyone who doesn't fit into the conservative ideal for culture. I'm not saying that you want that, per se, but be careful because those that do want that think similarly.
Thanks.
Okay.....first of all, and I mean this genuinely, kudos to putting your name behind this. This doesn't happen often, so a true fist bump to you.
How generous of you to come here and offer unsolicited and incredibly condescending pseudo-intellectual commentary on what I am allowed to post on my blog. Very generous. But hey, I'm high profile! Lil' ol' me! Look Ma, I made it!
Now we gotta get in the weeds here. Yeah, I am not going to take back or apologize for how softcore-y this show has been this season. I stand behind the statements I made about how creepy it is to watch a grown man's masturbatory fantasy play out on screen. In the last episode alone, they have sexualized pedophilia and grooming (with a teacher student fantasy) and children playing a board game.
See the thing is, it would be purity culture to suggest a woman CAN'T have sex or be sexually attracted to someone. We spent 6 years with Betty as someone who liked sex, and that was fine! We even spent s5 with Betty who used sex as a bandaid. That wasn't healthy, but she was an adult woman having sex. It was fine. Fifties Betty has sex as her ENTIRE character. There is nothing else to 50s Betty. She's horny. She wants to have sex. She wants to have sex so much that she's actively predatory. That's it. And having one and only one character motivation kinda flies in the face of the whole "feminism" thing the show is trying to project, don't it?
Hey, I'll give you that the show THINKS it is making a feminist statement. I'll give you that the show's writers probably THINK they are fixing racism, sexism and homophobia in one fell swoop. But they aren't. Quite the contrary, they are actively furthering those issues while thinking they're doing an amazing job. They degrade women while touting themselves as feminists. They made their only Latina family mob members while touting themselves champions of POC stories. They view themselves as LGBT representation while one character decides another's sexuality and their agency in coming out is stripped from them.
Adding to that, it's fine if you disagree with me. I speak only for myself, and the block button is easy to find. It's all good. I'm not offended that you disagree with me, but to suggest Riverdale is scathing, witty meta-commentary? RIVERDALE????? I don't think I'm the one who doesn't know what this show is, anon. This show is a vehicle to leer on the hot cast members, and more recently, to act out some personal ~aesthetic* writer fantasies. It has never and will never be what you proclaimed it to be:
"meta-commentary on Americana, film, and television is unmatched. Its refusal to be any one thing is both brave and fascinating. The show has remained true to its vision despite pissing off much of its audience, which is rare in a landscape of shameless pandering for views. God bless Riverdale for that."
I'm...a little stunned that you think it is. But nonetheless, I stand behind the statement that writers whose misogyny comes out LOUDLY in their writing, who have stripped this show of anything interesting, recognizable or interesting, and whose relationship with the fans on social media is disturbing at best, will not be prime targets for new shows.
Again, I do genuinely commend you for putting your name behind your thoughts. I have no issue with you disagreeing with me, or the majority of the fandom in general. I have no ill will to you. But yes, I believe this season of the show is disturbing, misogynistic and creepily sexual. It's a statement I stand by, and while you're under no obligation to agree, I hope you're able to find the block button next time.
#answered#watergatescandelous#Riverdale#RD negativity#There's more I didn't put in here I'm just#???
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Hi, so, fun story. I wanted to write a kink list for all the cult bois because you said you were interested in learning all their kinks, but then I started writing Ian's...and then I didn't stop writing Ian's. I think we might have another series on our hands because once I start writing it's so hard to stop. I'm also gonna put Berry's and Bo's in here just because I wrote them before Ian snatched my brain. So, here's whatever this is!
Berry: Corruption, Berry knows he’s fucking awful and he sees you as this untouchable god, so above the rest of them, so pure in every way. He wants to ruin that purity, he wants his blood stained hands to roam your skin. Where others seek to worship you from below, Berry wants to drag you down with him. Sadism, above all else, Berry wants to see you break, see you squirm beneath him as you try to convince yourself you don’t like it. If he’s feeling especially cruel he’ll fuck you while you while you beg him to stop, but as soon as your mind breaks and you want him to keep going he pulls out
Bo: Petplay, is an obvious one for Bo, but where it differs in this au is how he treats his master. You are the child of prophecy, the one who will bring new life to them all, Bo doesn’t just obey, he worships you. Bo’s also a lot more subby in this au, wanting nothing more than to be bred by his beloved master. Bo also loves to clean you up if any of your suitors have to leave before proper aftercare cough cough Jean and Berry cough cough. He loves to clean you up with his tongue, getting rid of their cum and maybe, if he’s been good, getting to replace it with his own
Ian: You, no, really, this man is weak for you. Any time he sees you he gets hard, the poor guy cums in his pants the first time you kiss him. Worship, I mean, they’re all in a cult so they all worship you but Ian especially. He worships everything about you, nothing you ever say could be wrong, nothing you do could ever be bad, you are the truth, and everything else is just trying to sully your wisdom. He loves to worship your body the most, taking his time to properly kiss and praise every inch of your skin. He makes sure to focus on any scars or marks or just the parts of yourself you don’t like, so long as he’s not breaking any boundaries of course
He thinks all your “flaws” are beautiful, the raised or bumpy skin being majestic mountains, uneven pigmentation becoming a beautiful pattern, and oh my god do not get him started on any fat you might have. This man loves some chub, taking it as a sign that you’re healthy and eating well, though he’ll also love it if you're skinny. Really, this man just loves you, the idea of you, the smell of you, the taste of you
To Ian you’re perfect, no matter what, and you feel it too. You feel it in the way he shudders as he breathes you in, in the way his lips gently brush your skin, in the way he just keeps cumming without being touched, but he takes care not to get any on you, unless you’d like him to of course. Ian is more than willing to paint your body in his cum before cleaning it all up with his tongue, shooting blanks as he reaches his peak again from the taste of his cum and your skin mixing together
OH THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT!!!!!!! Barry's is sooooo fucked up and perfect for him, he wants to corrupt you, erase your godliness!! And Bo being subby is very in character for this AU I love it!!! Especially him cleaning everyone else's cum out of you 😍 and Ian........yep. yeah yep sounds about right for this wonderfully pathetic lil simp!! I love the idea that he cums untouched for you all the time and also is so into you that he'll just keep going~
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Hey! Can I request an ateez reaction to you saying your safeword during secs? Thank you!
Hongjoong:
Probably has the most reasonable reaction. Like, he understands there are a whole bunch of reasons that you might use it and doesn't get supper freaked out. Just sits down with you after you both have been cleaned up and makes sure he understands why you did so he doesn't put you in that position again.
Seonghwa:
Mans has a repertoire of kinks and uses them all on a regular basis, but he doesn't stray to far from any of those things very often. (If its not broke dont fix it) so I feel like the most common reason you would use your safeword is simply out of exhaustion or just not feeling it in that exact moment and he is more than understanding of that. Doesn't not skimp on aftercare just because just because yall didn't finish tho. Still goes the full nine to make sure your both happy and healthy before cuddling in bed oops im soft.
Yunho:
Oh Fuck. Hes losing his shit. He's freaking out just running through every possible reason you might have said it. Checking every surface of your body making sure your not hurt. Is apologizing the whole time. If it is just that your tired and not feeling it you will have a time explaining that to him, but if there was a serious issue he will be the most serious person about it listen so intently.
Yeosang:
Is highkey pretty disappointed in himself. He understands that when you put yourself in any kind of sexual situation you are putting a lot of trust in that one person so he feels like he broke that trust. He may not feel up to sex for a few days after that.
San:
You may have to use it semi regularly with San. Not because he's not listening or anything, it's just that yall have a long list of kinks he wants to try and if your not feeling the vibe your not feeling the vibe. Simply say it and he will cross that kink off the list and never bring it up again. Plain and easy.
Mingi:
Is sad. I feel like most often for you two a safe word would be used more as a pause button, instead of full stop. Like after one of you says it you both take a second to come back to reality before deciding whether or not to continue. Hes a lil bumbded out but don't ask why cuz he doesn't know either.
Wooyoung:
Listen, mans may be a lil silly and causal but he understands safewords. Yall have like 5 for different scenarios. No matter which one yall use its a full stop. Slams on the breaks. Immediately stops what he's doing and goes through a checklist with you to make sure there is nothing physically or mentally wrong with you before you both have a loooooong discussion about the scene. I've said it before but I see wooyoung as being incredibly responsible and aware about emotions and sex so this is something he doesn't take lightly.
Jongho:
Immediate panik. Once he gets over that he probably be normal lol. Like might have the most similar reaction to hongjoong but with an initial shreik of fear of hurting you. He will want to wait to talk about it till the next day simply cuz he's more than a little embarrassed but he listens well.
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Your blog is great for many reasons, making prescriptive statements about kink/fetish is not one of them. "kink" has not been recorded since time immemorial and making such a claim followed by an example from the 1880s is.....a choice. While you can debate the origins, it is undeniable that "fetish" stuff is inspired or directly taken from tools and materials used for slavery and torture prior to the nomenclature. Glossing over that link while claiming that modern concepts existed as such in the ancient world is a disservice.
yeeeeah I'm not gonna get into discourse. But kink has existed for as long as authority, shame, and sexual repression have existed. And discourse has been connected to kink for as long as kink has been around. There are scholars who can tell you all about it.
I started at the Victorian era because I'm a fashion historian, fashion is what I know, and fetish wear as we know it only became a thing in the Victorian era.
Honestly, I think repressing kink and ignoring the fact that healthy BDSM relationships can be had with consensual adult partners only pathologizes kink and drives people into the darker aspects of it, because if you're already doing something sinful and deviant, you might as well go all the way and start torturing and killing innocent people. Dennis Rader, AKA the BTK killer, is a REALLY good example of how repression and shame can lead to unspeakable cruelty.
I actually think that one thing the kink community REALLY needs to address is the fact that a lot of abusers (think Marilyn Manson and Armie Hammer) use kink as a cover for the fact that they just want to hurt women.
Healthy kink absolutely CAN exist, even healthy hard-core kink, but it needs to be based first and foremost on consent and boundaries. Luckily, there are a lot of educators and activists in the kink community who are trying to help people identify abuse and make consent the central pillar of kink.
Beyond that? Do you want to get spanked? Is your partner willing to spank you? Are you both adults? Then have fun, you freaky lil cowboys. Seriously there's nothing wrong with enthusiastically consenting adults engaging in kink. Of course there are boundaries (for the love of god do NOT go performing your kinks in public in front of people who don't consent). But it's fun, and trying to deny and repress kink does far more harm that consensual kink does.
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PPB Square: Kink Discovery | @peterparkerbingo
word count: 2.7k rating: mature warnings: none ao3 link: https://bit.ly/3xpiBdx
Summary: Bucky and Peter have been together for a while, but Peter can’t bring himself to talk to his boyfriend about how their sex life is a bit - uh, well, boring. Instead, Peter searches Bucky’s laptop while he isn’t home for any sign of kink whatsoever. To say it doesn’t go as he planned would be an understatement.
Bucky’s amazing. So, so amazing, and Peter could go on about it for days - about his silly nicknames, the way he makes the Brooklyn drawl sound adorable, his unexpected dorkiness and razor sharp wit, how his hands are so calloused but he holds Peter so softly--
Days, Peter could come up with these for days.
So, it’s not like there’s anything he wishes he could change about their relationship. It’s - they’re - perfect, everything’s been perfect. Bucky’s just so nice, and after Beck, Peter wasn’t sure he’d ever be in a relationship again, let alone one so - so good. So healthy, and so supportive.
It’s just--
Their sex is so vanilla. Painfully vanilla. The most unconventional Bucky gets is with his dirty talk, and, yeah, Peter loves how his boyfriend will call him his sweet lil boy, and tell Peter how good he takes a thick cock in his tight ass, but that's about as far as Bucky ever goes.
And that - that isn’t a bad thing, Peter knows that, it’s just. Boring, sometimes, is all.
Peter wishes he could talk to Bucky about it, because the man always stresses communication and talking problems out, but it’s just so embarrassing. Peter’s just thinking about it and he’s flushed, so how could he say the word kink out loud?
He can’t. He really, really can’t.
So Peter does the only other thing he can think to do.
He steals Bucky’s laptop and rummages for any signs of kink - anything to suggest his boyfriend isn’t as vanilla as it seems. Peter knows he doesn’t have long - Bucky’s out getting takeout from their favorite Thai place, and it isn’t too far - so he doesn’t waste time as he searches all the keywords he can think of in Bucky’s unorganized folders, his internet history that’s never been cleared, the hard drive Peter got him because he complained about memory but Peter was 99% sure he never touched - he was right - and then tries his luck with the recycle bin, but--
There’s not just no sign of kink.
There’s nothing. There’s no porn at all.
Peter’s mind is blown. He hadn’t even considered that he wouldn’t find porn, he thought that everyone watched porn - and unless Bucky knew how to delete specific pages from his browser history, which Peter heavily doubts, because, c'mon - but apparently, Bucky doesn’t.
He considers that, maybe, since Bucky is nearly a decade older than him, he consumes his porn in a different way. Maybe physical movies or, godforbid, magazines.
Peter’s considering looking through Bucky’s drawers and closets until he finds proof of pornography consumption, but then someone’s clearing their throat behind him.
“Jesus, how do you--” Peter exclaims, because it’s nowhere near the first time this six foot hunk of a man has snuck up on him. Then, he glances at the clunky computer in his lap that is obviously not his, and back at Bucky, who’s looking at the laptop, and then at Peter.
“What’re you doin’ with my computer?”
Peter panics, not because Bucky seems upset, because he doesn’t, just - confused, but it’s such a weird thing to be doing, and he can’t lie at all, and this isn’t--
“Does that say porn?” Bucky asks, suddenly leaning over Peter’s shoulder, and he just sounds amused, but Peter goes on the defensive anyway.
“I-It’s just, you never, and I - this isn’t me wanting you to change, or--”
Bucky moves quickly when Peter starts that familiar stress-ramble; he circles around the couch, puts the plastic bag filled with food down on the coffee table and sits next to him, wrapping an arm around his back and shushing him kindly.
“Slow down, doll.” Bucky smiles, sincerity etched in his crow’s feet, “Can’t understand you when you’re talkin’ too fast, remember?”
Peter stops. He nods, then he takes a breath. When he lets it go, Bucky tells him to take a deeper one, so he does, and as he breathes it out, he feels the alarm fade.
Not completely, though. Not with the evidence of his snooping in his lap.
With a glance back at where porn is still typed out in the recycle bin’s search bar and a chuckle, Bucky asks, almost laughing, “What were you doin’, sweetheart?”
Peter doesn’t expect it, but the fight drains from his body. It’s him accepting his fate, he realizes belatedly.
“I, uh,” Peter pauses, because it’s still so difficult to say the words, “was looking for porn.”
Bucky laughs for real this time, and Peter closes his eyes with a sigh. That wasn’t what he meant to say, at all.
“No - I was looking for y-your porn, like, what you watch,” Peter explains, and Bucky is still laughing, but he waves a hand.
“Yeah, I got that.” He says, making an effort to curb his laughter, “Why, though?”
Peter bites his lip. "Do you watch porn?”
He was scared that meeting Bucky’s question with a question would frustrate the man, but he only looks more amused.
“Why would I?”
Huh?
“What?”
“Why would I watch porn?” Bucky sounds genuinely confused, “We have sex almost everyday.”
Almost, Peter nearly stresses, but catches himself. Obviously, he’s dramatically misread the situation.
“Y-Yeah, but,” Peter tries to come up with something, anything, “like, maybe, before we dated?”
“I know it’s kinda old, but I got the thing not too long before we met, actually.”
That bit of information also sends Peter reeling, and he almost argues about it - because the laptop isn’t 'kinda old,' it’s ancient - but Bucky speaks before he does.
“Were you lookin’ for the kinda porn I’m into?”
Peter nearly sags with relief. How does he always manage to get it before Peter has to explain?
“Yeah.”
Bucky’s smile shifts, and it’s - he likes that, Peter notices, and, it’s - it's sexual.
“What, did you wanna tease me?” Bucky licks his lips, “Rile me up?”
Oh. That works, and it’s pretty true, even. Peter can work with that.
He nods. Bucky continues, and he looks so pleased.
“It’s you, sugar,” Bucky brings his hand to Peter’s cheek, and his hold is so gentle, but the calluses are rough, and it’s such a satisfying dichotomy that Peter can’t help but lean into it, “You get me wild.”
If only. Peter’s never seen him be wild.
But he couldn’t say that. Not when Bucky sounds like he absolutely means it, and it makes Peter’s heart flutter.
Peter has been a bit weird lately.
Well, Peter is always a bit weird, but it’s a part of his charm. He’s been acting extra weird lately, Bucky’s noticed, and while it’s just as endearing, it’s confusing, too.
He almost calls Peter out on it after he’s found him searching for porn on his computer - more than he had already, anyway - but he just gets so tense when Bucky tries to make him really talk about something. He doesn’t want to bring up that energy - not so late, anyway.
So Bucky plans to talk to him about it tomorrow.
And Peter thwarts that plan as soon as they wake up. Usually, he’s eager to spend the last day of their shared weekend off together, but before they’ve even had their coffee, Peter’s rushing out the door with the excuse of meeting up with his college friends at a cafe. Not too long later he texted they were going to do an impromptu study group for an upcoming quiz, then, after five hours, texted him they were going to hang out more.
Bucky tries not to be suspicious of or retaliatory to Peter even more than he’s learned to be with his partners, because the kid’s not had a great track record with boyfriends, to say the least, but this is ridiculous. When he’s been gone for a whole seven hours, under the guise of shoddy excuses, Bucky decides his curiosity needs to be sated more than Peter needs to be coddled, and his new plan is to snoop into Peter’s computer like the kid tried with him. Obviously, if he assumed Bucky would have porn on his laptop, Peter’s got some on his.
Bucky doesn’t plan to look until Peter texts that he’s on his way home, though. He thinks it’ll be funny if the kid finds himself where Bucky stood last night.
So, after Peter texted that he’s omw, Bucky pulls out his computer. It’s so sleek, thin and light, yet wide, and he hates using it, but he’s dying to know. How much porn could Peter possibly watch, considering how much they have sex, and how busy he’s kept as a student and part-time employee?
Not very much, Bucky assumes.
And holy fuck is he wrong.
He takes a wild guess and searches porn in the convenient - but too bulky, and ugly - search engine in the toolbar, and a stupidly obviously labeled folder, not porn don’t look, comes right up. There’s several subfolders - distinguishing the videos by kink, dear God - and dozens of videos in most of them, over a hundred in a few.
What the fuck.
Bucky’s surprised - Jesus Christ, so surprised - at so many things, but - where the fuck does Peter find the time to watch so much porn? What does it mean that he’s amassed such a collection? How has Bucky never walked in on him watching it? Is there a way to see how many hours of it there are, because it’s a stupidly high amount, definitely--
Bucky takes a breath. He leans back, too, because the little previews are too much to look at, and he takes a moment to appreciate just how understandable it was that Peter was so confused yesterday. It must be unthinkable, to not watch porn, to him. But - Peter’s never even mentioned porn before, not in the half-a-year they’ve been dating, so what was so different about yesterday?
The question has Bucky sitting back up, ready to delve deeper. He starts by reading the names of the folders closer, finding it’s not just organized by kink, but by his favorite pornstars, too. The kid’s got several, all with typical pornstar names, and according to the previews, he’s got a type for big and buff. Checks out.
With another deep, grounding breath, Bucky clicks on the folder name Ultimate Favorites. It’s only got thirteen videos in it, but all the titles are a fuckin’ doozy. It’s shit like Small Twink Fucked Hard, and Daddy Pounds His Boy Until He Cries, and - Jesus fuck - Dom Verbally Abuses Sub While Anally Abusing Him.
Bucky’s nauseous just reading that last one. He never would’ve guessed Peter was into such rough sex. Not just because the kid gets all wide-eyed and stuttery whenever sex is even mentioned, but because Peter’s just so - soft. In all the ways a person can be, really.
Bucky doesn’t know how to reconcile what he knows Peter to be like with this new information about him. He distantly knows that he doesn’t have to - that Peter’s kinks don't reflect anything about his personality, and acting like they do is only reductive - but the instinct is so strong, he can’t help but fruitlessly try.
Before he can reconsider, Bucky’s clicking on one of the more mildly titled videos - not that any of them are mild at all - just to understand better what Peter’s so into.
The video loads almost immediately, and it doesn’t waste time with any kind of introduction - there’s suddenly two men on the screen, their size difference resembling Bucky and Peter’s to a ridiculous degree, and the larger one pushes the smaller onto a bed carelessly before climbing on top of him. It’s a bunch of shoving and aggressive groping along with cruel words and name calling, and Bucky’s never been more turned off in his life. He can’t believe this porno is among Peter’s favorites - his boyfriend’s never once let on that this is the kind of sex he’s into.
While he’s staring, Bucky’s on screen lookalike finally quitting with the rough teasing and moving onto the brutal fucking, he hears Peter enter his apartment. Bucky doesn’t mute the video, and Peter’s light footsteps stop immediately. Bucky can just see the look on his face - that caught-in-the-headlights one that makes Peter look more like a deer than Bucky thought a person could - and he stifles a laugh as the steps pick back up, this time much more hesitant. When Peter’s a good foot into the living room, Bucky turns around, acting as if he hadn’t heard him coming in.
With the computer filling the room with sounds of slapping and exaggerated moans, Bucky greets, struggling to keep a smirk off his face, “Hi, honey. How was your day?”
Peter doesn’t answer him and - yep, there’s that look. Instead, he gapes like a fish at where his computer is steadied on Bucky’s lap, eyes wide and frantic.
“Why’d you never mention this, doll?” Bucky asks, dropping the act as Peter keeps looking like disaster is seconds away. He pauses the video and sets the laptop to the side, motioning for Peter to join him on the couch.
Peter does join him, albeit uncertain and his eyes still trained on the graphic image on the computer screen. He’s quiet as he sits as far as he can from Bucky.
“I--” Peter starts, gaze transfixed on the laptop. “Can you - close that?”
Bucky does. Peter keeps looking at it.
“You okay?” Bucky asks, chuckling.
Peter finally looks at him. He seems scared, Bucky realizes. He closes a bit of the distance between them, leaving some incase Peter feels suffocated, and puts a hand on the back of his neck, a touch Peter always leans into.
He does this time, too. He relaxes some, and Bucky prompts, “Were you scared to tell me?”
Peter relaxes even more, his shoulders falling. He nods. “I know you probably don’t care--”
Bucky interrupts to confirm with a nod of his own, “I don’t.”
“But it’s just--” Peter huffs, eyebrows furrowing, “Embarrassing.”
Bucky nods more. “It doesn’t change how I think about you.” He reassures Peter, “At all.”
“That's good.” Peter breathes, and Bucky can’t help but laugh softly. “I was starting to think it would gross you out.”
It kinda does, but Bucky doesn’t say that. It isn’t important how the porn he’s into makes Bucky feel.
“No, baby. It doesn’t.”
Peter leans into his side, and Bucky shifts to embrace him. Silence attempts to settle around them, but Bucky can’t help his need to tease.
“So… where’d you find the time to make such a collection?”
Peter cringes. “I, uh, started it years ago.”
Bucky raises his eyebrows. He doesn’t know why he didn’t assume that - it’s a seriously massive collection - but thinking of how far back years suggests, and how Peter is just twenty-two, he can’t help but ask for clarification.
“How many years you talkin’?”
“Uhh…” Peter trails off, seeming to really think about it. Bucky can see the moment he finds the answer, and his expression closes. “...several.”
Bucky decides to wager a guess. He doesn’t really know why he wants to know this answer, but he thinks it might help him understand just how into kink Peter is.
“Sixteen?”
Peter whines. “Jamie.”
Bucky’s eyes widen. “Fifteen?”
Peter pulls away a bit to cover his face with his hands, and he whines unintelligibly this time.
“Christ, it wasn’t younger than thirteen, was it?”
Peter shakes his head. “N-No, I--” His words are muffled by his palms, “I was fourteen.”
Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. Peter can’t lie for shit, so Bucky can tell he isn’t just appeasing him.
Then it hits him just how long Peter’s been fantasizing about this kind of sex.
“You’re really into this stuff, huh?”
Peter burrows further into his hands. Bucky rubs his back, and considers his next words carefully.
“If you want, we could explore some of the tamer stuff you have in there.”
Peter drops his hands from his face and he looks excited for all of two seconds. Then, his expression falls. “None of it’s… tame. I mean, I guess--” Peter cuts himself off to cough, wincing as he tries to get the words out, “uh, im-impact play isn’t, you know, hardcore, I guess.”
“Spanking and stuff?”
“...and stuff.” Peter says with a flush.
“We’ll start with spanking,” Bucky laughs, adding just in case, “if you want to.”
But it wasn’t necessary, because Peter brightens immediately.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
Peter smiles wide, and Bucky can’t help but return it with one of his own.
#peterparkerbingo2021#winterspider#peter parker#bucky barnes#peter parker x bucky barnes#peter x bucky#nff#im pretty sure no warnings anyway#if u think i should add one jus tell me#for some reason i feel the need to defend myself for making bucky not. like. good with technology#bc thats not canon#but i dont have a reason i just think its funny#also for some reason im really embarrassed to post this#uhhhh#my writing
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Lost
Harry Potter AU
Request Fic
Summary: Regulus did everything he could to ruin his friendship with you. He turned cold, insensitive, and cruel. Now the two of you are paired up for a potions project. Old feelings and wounds are bound to open again. Regulus has to learn to accept that "mudbloods" aren't bad and loving one isn't wrong. Will he be willing to let go of his family's ideals or lose you forever?
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader
Rating: M- angst
Song at the beginning: The Suffering by Song by Coheed and Cambria
_______
Is there word or right to say Even in this old-fashioned way? Go make your move girl. I'm not coming home. Would things have changed if I could've stayed? Would you have loved me either way? Dressed to the blues Day to day with my collar up. Decision sits so make it quick A breath inhaled from an air so sick I cursed the day that I'd learned Of the web you span You had your hold till bleeding If it was up to me I would've figured you out Way before the year clocked out Oh, I hope you're waiting I hope you're waiting
People change and hurt people hurt other people in return…
That sentence summed up so many things in your life at the moment. Your eyes turned to the Slytherin table where Regulus Black sat with his friends. The boy that you had a crush on since 1st year changed and not in a good way. He had gone from being somewhat kind to downright vicious. After he started making closer friends with Evan Rosier, a few years before Regulus had turned further into his “pure blood nature.” The last thing that he wanted was a “mudblood” like you for a friend. Hearing those words leave his mouth still hurt you to this day and that had been over two years ago. Why you let it both you, you weren’t sure. You were just Lily Evan’s mudblood little sister...nothing impressive (his words, not yours).
You frowned, scowling at Evan Rosier. He sat telling some animated story that had Regulus, Snape, and Barty Crouch Jr laughing. Evan was a topic of rage for you. If Evan hadn’t stuck his nose in your friendship with Regulus then there was a possibility that the two of you would have remained friends to this day.
Screw Evan and everything that he stands for!
It was Snape that looked in your direction. He gave you a polite smile before looking back to his friends. He was the one boy at that table that was kind to you. Granted it had to do with his insane crush on your sister but he was still nice all the same. Now that Lily wouldn’t talk to him after him calling her a mudblood, he used you to get information on Lily. “How is Lily?” “Is she doing okay? What about you?” (Those were Snape’s big questions (when his Slytherin buddies weren’t around).
That whole little table would shit a monkey if they knew that Regulus and I were sleeping together....then.
You thought with a cold glare. Sex was all that there was to it. Regulus liked to play rough and you were glad to go along with it. You were, after all in Regulus’ mind, the little Hufflepuff who he could easily manipulate into whatever he wanted. At first, it was just seeing what all of the hype was about. Was sex really as good as everyone went on about? In short, yes. It was exactly what everyone said and then some. Lovemaking turned into Regulus developing some major kinks.
You longed for the day when Regulus was a sweet quiet boy who enjoyed your company. Now he was something else and you couldn’t put your finger on it.
“My favorite hufflebuddy!”
Your thoughts were interrupted when Sirius plopped down beside you and pulled you into an overdramatic hug. Everything that Sirius did was overdramatic but you didn’t mind. He was getting you out of your head.
“And my favorite gigantic lapdog.”
You said with a smile earring a bigger grin from Sirius as James plopped down on your other side.
“Mini-red, you are looking a little gloomy this fine morning.”
You were used to Sirius and James calling you “mini-red.” It didn’t matter how many times that you told them that neither Lily nor yourself enjoyed being called big and mini-red it never stopped. You learned to accept it as some form of unusual endearment and roll with it.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind with this potions class. Slughorn is going crazy.”
James looked thoughtful as he reached across the table for a cup of juice.
“Why do you think that I bailed out of positions as soon as I could? Lils seems to love him. From what I have heard he adores both Lily and yourself.”
You nodded.
“He does. He also adores Regulus.”
Sirius frowned
“Like my brother, Regulus?”
“How many others are there?”
You questioned. Sirius chuckled before his expression darkened.
“Watch out for him, Y/n. Just go with me on it.”
You couldn’t help but notice the expression on Sirius’ face went from jovial ready to prank someone to dark and depressed.
“What’s going on with him?”
You asked, cautiously. Sirius didn’t respond but instead, James did.
“Sirius believes that Regulus is now a death eater.”
“Believes? I know. I mean look at him! He looks like the perfect death eater. Plus all of his little friends are so why wouldn’t he join the crowd?”
James, Sirius, and yourself turned to look at Regulus who was staring at you three. You were afraid to look at him. The last thing that you wanted to do was meet his dark gaze. Since Regulus started changing you were scared of him. If he was a death eater, you would be someone on his list. Why would he want to be kind to a filthy mudblood?
(Meanwhile)
Regulus’ attention had turned to you when Sirius started hugging you like some kind of stuffed animal. Why that he cared so much he wasn't sure. Regulus didn’t even want to admit to himself that he cared for you. You were everything that his family trained him to despise. Yet here he was having some kind of weird fluttering feelings in his stomach when you were near. He hated you yet he wanted you...it made no sense.
“Why does she have to be so fucking beautiful?”
Regulus thought with a glare. He wanted nothing more than to walk across the great hall and shove you against the wall.
He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was jealous of Sirius’ friendship with you. Regulus was jealous of all the Marauders for their friendship with you. You were their little pet Hufflepuff when you were his first! He was the one that made love to you the first time. You were his lover and now Sirius seemed to be moving in on what was his.
“It’s your own fault that she got scared of you.”
Regulus’ mind supplied. He had taken extra steps to scare you away. Whether it be his unkind words or dark distant stares, you finally edged away. Regulus also didn’t want to admit that it was because he called you a stupid mudblood in front of all of his friends.
“Don’t think on it, Regulus.”
Regulus’ thoughts were interrupted by Snape’s voice. He looked up quickly.
“What are you talking about?”
He questioned. Snape motioned to you.
“Y/n Evans. You don’t need a companion Hufflepuff. I know that she was something to you a few years ago…”
“I was a stupid child. I don’t have any feelings for the mudblood girl. The same could be said about you and Y/n’s sister.”
Snape’s mouth formed a hard line. Regulus knew all about Snape and Lily’s friendship falling apart. He saw it happen.
“I’m not talking about myself. I am talking about you. We have enough duties to the dark lord to perform. If you were to be swayed by the girl, you would both be killed.”
Regulus scowled as he noticed your eyes flicker in his direction before quickly looking away. You were scared of him. Regulus wanted to be thrilled but at the same time, it was gut-wrenching. What Snape nor anyone else seemed to know was after Regulus ruined your friendship; he wrote you letters every day for three months. He sent letters and little gifts that would appeal to your quirky personality in hopes that he could win you back. You ignored everything.
He assumed that it was all for the best but it made the “gentle” side of Regulus sob in fury. What you didn’t know was you were the first person in his life that showed him any form of love. Seeing you shove his letter in the rubbish bin or deep into your bag with little to no expression on your face hurt him horribly!
Regulus swallowed back the rage and made a mental note that he needed to stop being so wishy-washy and focus on everything being for the best. There was no way that Regulus as a death eater could have a muggle-born girlfriend. It would be the biggest crock of shit known to wizardkind!
It's for the best…
Half an hour later you walked into Potions with a book in front of your face. You had been gleefully reading some romance book that Marlene McKinnon recommended to you. This was the closest that you would seemingly get to a healthy and not toxic relationship.
Sitting down you put the book up as Professor Slughorn stood up. He gave all of his favorite students his usual friendly good morning.
“Ms. Evans, you did a wonderful job on the last test. I can see that a wonderful brain is a quality with the Evans family.”
You smiled, happily as Professor Slughorn put your most recent test in front of you. Perfect score.
“I am assigning partners for our next project. I know that I typically let everyone pick partners but I think this time we will be doing something different. It's time to see how other people in the classroom work together.”
You internally muttered “uh oh” under your breath. For projects, you always teamed up with a Ravenclaw girl named Emilia Abbott. The two of you had made a common ground of helping each other keep perfect grades on Potions. Up until now, your plan worked like a charm.
“Okay, Mr. Black, I am putting you with Y/n Evans. The two of you have the highest grade in this class. I want to see what amazing things the two of you can do together.”
WHAT?!
You nearly shrieked the moment that Slughorn made that comment. Was it too late to drop potions? Would you really need this class after all? You could always take double potions next year, right?
After Slughorn paired everyone up, you didn't move to where Regulus was sitting. In fact, you didn’t even look in his direction. If he wanted to be your partner then he could get his ass up and come to you. Maybe he would magically forget who you were. Forget the fact that you spent a lot of time underneath him in the room of requirement with his hand on your ass.
What you didn’t see was Regulus staring at you with a frown on his face. He was waiting for you to get up. Instead, you didn’t move. You sat like a little statue staring dead ahead and trying to hide under your red hair.
Rolling his eyes, Regulus finally stood up. He walked across the room and sat down at the table that you were occupying. You didn’t look up nor meet his face.
“We do have to talk to each other, you know.”
Regulus commented. You finally met his eyes. The expression on your face was wary and your guard was up. No longer were you the happy girl that Regulus considered his Hufflepuff buddy. You weren’t the girl that went to him when someone was giving you a hard time or the girl who would try telling him a joke but giggle the whole time. Now you were silent.
“I suppose we do.”
You replied. Regulus had forgotten how much he missed your voice...your sweet gentle voice that was not loud but instead that remained even and soft even if you were mad.
“What potion do you want to do the report on?”
Regulus asked.
“I don’t know.”
You said, sounding almost lost. Since Regulus had sat down, you tried not to look at him. Your vision had gone from his green tie, to his hands, to his family ring, to his left arm. Was there a dark mark under this dress shirt? You couldn’t help but wonder if Sirius was right.
“Look, I am not going to fail this project because you are acting like a clueless tart.”
Your green eyes immediately met his. Regulus was waiting for you to cuss him out but he knew that it wouldn’t happen. He had barely heard you say the word “fuck.” It didn’t matter how much he tried to get you to step outside of your comfort zone, you wouldn’t say some words.
“What? Have something to say?”
He questioned. You quickly stood and gathered your books before storming out of the class without another word.
_______
@fairywriter-oracle
@amelie-black
@swinginsoulbailiffrascal
@realgaytrash
@sunles (here’s you another one)
@brokencasbutt67-writer
@authoressskr
@fandom-trash-worth-it
@summer-novak
@shaylybaby2032
@li0nh34rt
@marichromatic
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@stuckinsaudi1
@shitfaceddaniel
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@sprnaturallover
#Regulus Black#Regulus Black x Reader#Sirius Black#James Potter#Remus Lupin#Lily Evans#James x Lily#timothee chalamet as regulus black#ben barnes as sirius black#andrew garfield as remus lupin#marauders era fic#regulus arcturus black#sirius orion black#the ancient and noble house of black#angst fic#death eater regulus#Harry Potter#Lost#Lost story
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otp tag.
tagged by @masonsfreckles and @impossible-rat-babies and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims @arlathen @lvllns @trvelyans @lavellane @chuckhansen @rosebarsoap @cheydinhaal @darksprawn @deepspeech @yennefre and anyone else who wants to do it tbh
DISAGREEMENTS.
who is more likely to raise their voice?
i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people
who threatens to leave but never actually does?
i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point
who actually keeps their word and leaves?
neither lmao
who trashes the house?
in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident
do either of them get physical?
uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never
how often do they argue/disagree?
in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong
who is the first to apologize?
adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument
SEX.
who is on top? who is on bottom?
i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so
any kinks?
adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it
june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her
who has the strangest desires?
june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so
who’s dominant in bed?
adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things
is head ever in the equation?
uhhh, yeah ??? all the time
if so, who is better at performing it?
look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING
ever had sex in public?
the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it
who moans the most?
both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so
who leaves the most marks?
june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way
who is the more experienced of the two?
adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together
do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love��?
im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck
how long do they usually last?
in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do
rough or soft?
soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)
is protection used?
it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??
does it ever get boring?
nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk
where is the strangest place they’d have sex?
idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT
FAMILY.
do they plan on having children / do they have children?
yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard
if so, how many children do they want/have?
their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((
AFFECTION.
who likes to cuddle?
both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time
who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?
june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here
who struggles to keep their hands to themself?
shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho
how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?
uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive
what is their favourite non-sexual activity?
adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first
where is their favourite place to cuddle?
in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm
SLEEPING.
who snores?
ahskhkdja june !!!
if both do, who snores the loudest?
adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly
do they share a bed or sleep separately?
they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her
if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?
cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat
what do they wear to bed?
june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))
are either of them insomniacs?
june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.
adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously
can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?
later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works
do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?
wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat
who wakes up with bed hair?
both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????
who wakes up first?
eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way
who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?
neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook
what is their favourite sleeping position?
either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!
do they set an alarm each night?
they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will
who has nightmares?
both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think
can a television be found in their bedroom?
nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop
who has ridiculous dreams?
probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin
who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?
june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before
who makes the bed?
adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!
what time is bed time?
adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy
any routines/rituals before bed?
eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway
who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?
june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest
WORK.
who is the busiest?
hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???
who rakes in the highest income?
eh they’re probs around the same ???
are any of them unemployed?
nope
who takes the most sick days?
june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover
what are their jobs?
he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective
who sucks up to their boss?
haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss
who is more likely to turn up late to work?
june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days
who stresses the most?
uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????
do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?
yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???
are they financially stable?
yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries
HOME.
who does the washing?
i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk
who takes out the trash?
adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night
who does the ironing?
again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life
who does the cooking?
i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june
who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?
yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u
who is messier?
yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it
who leaves the toilet roll empty?
neither
who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?
yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely
who forgets to flush the toilet?
ew gross people do that ?? neither
who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?
june shdjjsjdk
who answers the telephone?
uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells
who mows the lawn?
adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders
who does the vacuuming?
both !!! they take turns
who does the groceries?
june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho
who takes the longest to shower?
uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???
who spends the most time in the bathroom?
like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often
MISCELLANEOUS.
is money a problem?
nahhh the agency pays them well
how many cars do they own?
originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam
what’s their song?
either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs
do they live in the city or in the country?
does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk
do they own their home or do they rent?
june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town
do they enjoy their surroundings?
eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go
what do they do when they’re away from each other?
Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited
where did they first meet?
at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great
who spends the most money when out shopping?
uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???
ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????
who’s more likely to flash their assets?
ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this
any mental issues?
yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts
i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk
who finds it amusing when the other trips over?
adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall
when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly
who’s terrified of bugs?
yep june 100%
who kills the spiders around the house?
shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”
do they have any fears for their future?
yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.
that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic
their favourite place?
the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly
who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?
adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one
who pays the bills?
they split them
who’s the tallest?
sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it
who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?
both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk
who wanders around in their underwear?
both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs
who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?
june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face
what do they tease each other about?
everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u.
june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????
adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm
who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?
i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh
who crushed first?
adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why
any alcohol or substance related problems?
uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days
who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?
june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in
who swears the most?
yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it
#bruh this meme is so fucking long i gotta go lie down ashsjdghjsjdk#as always im sorry if i forgot someone !!!! i do that a lot#pls do it anyway and say i tagged u#tag games#ch: june lovelace
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like this post and I’ll pick a sentence from this meme and turn into a short starter (one liner or with a bit of context)
you can specify your muse(s) and everything else if you want (fandom, what is Emma)
some sentences might need to be adjusted to work
I’ll copy them under read more as well in case the post disappears:
‘ i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet. ’ ‘ i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife) ’ ‘ let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes. ’ ‘ blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical. ’ ‘ touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease. ’ ‘ call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me. ’ ‘ healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake. ’ ‘ me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess. ’ ‘ do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both ’ ‘ *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable. ’ ‘ my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight ’ ‘ quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever ’ ‘ date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places ’ ‘ any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind? you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it ’ ‘ i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them ’ ‘ *nervously calls crush bro* ’ ‘ i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues. ’ ‘ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ’ ‘ concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now ’ ‘ i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you. ’ ‘ i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy ’ ‘ why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni. ’ ‘ date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles ’ ‘ going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together. ’ ‘ we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking. ’ ‘ you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe. ’ ‘ one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them. ’ ‘ you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking ’ ‘ why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary. ’ ‘ i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me. ’ ‘ *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay. ’ ‘ i like to blame myself for everything just in case. ’ ‘ the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word. ’ ‘ love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious. ’ ‘ i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break. ’ ‘ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone. ’ ‘ who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke. ’ ‘ i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you. ’ ‘ i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration. ’ ‘ me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare. ’ ‘ so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others. ’ ‘ my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning. ’ ‘ if you think i’m cute send me money. ’ ‘ one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry. ’ ‘ not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore. ’ ‘ there is no reason not to love with you whole heart. ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text. ’ ‘ ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful. ’ ‘ so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ’ ‘ i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything. ’ ‘ yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff. ’ ‘ i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot. ’ ‘ let me show you just how good i can be. ’ ‘ i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am. ’ ‘ i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys. ’ ‘ i’m a snail and god is salting me. ’ ‘ i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die. ’ ‘ being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!??????? ’ ‘ i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years. ’ ‘ my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me. ’ ‘ i have hella heart eyes for you. ’ ‘ you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour. ’ ‘ it’s pretty iconic to like yourself. ’ ‘ i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life. ’ ‘ stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me) ’ ‘ i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one. ’ ‘ to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’. ’ ‘ i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor. ’ ‘ on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal. ’ ‘ let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours. ’ ‘ alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right. ’ ‘ tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot. ’ ‘ catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you. ’ ‘ smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness. ’ ‘ self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta. ’ ‘ you didn’t go through all of that for nothing. ’ ‘ get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie. ’ ‘ i wish i could be there to take care of you right now. ’ ‘ home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you. ’ ‘ i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities. ’ ‘ ok but platonic forehead kisses. ’ ‘ my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie. ’ ‘ what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately). ’ ‘ do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks. ’ ‘ life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep. ’ ‘ by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12? ’ ‘ cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part. ’ ‘ don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit. ’ ‘ there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you. ’ ‘ being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me? ’ ‘ if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck. ’ ‘ i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too. ’ ‘ my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr. ’ ‘ you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on. ’ ‘ don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight. ’ ‘ not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs. ’ ‘ it’s you. it will always be you. ’ ‘ why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me. ’ ‘ thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness. ’
#sorta starter call#starter call;#to be reblogged later#some can be texts some are definitely said out loud#might be done tomorrow for obvious reasons
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I think you should answer all the kinky questions
Okay well here you go..
1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me? Be blindfolded
2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse? Intercorse or both
3. What was your high school sex fantasy? I don’t think I had one, I did fancy one of the teachers there soo
4. What’s your favorite position? Doggy or on top
5. Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy? Lips or ass
6. Do you like to swallow? Not really tbh
7. Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone? Tom fucking Hardy
8. Your last sexual encounter; good or bad and why? Good, just really unexpected and fun
9. Where is one place you would never have sex? Not many places I wouldn’t tbh, just anywhere that’d be deemed disrespectful to anyone
10. Top or bottom? Toooop
11. Best sexual complement you ever got? Either that I was hot as fuck or just being told that I’m good in bed
12. When was the first time you masturbated? The first time, I have no idea
13. Have/would you ever have sex outside? Yes and yes
14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? A guy I met out, I don’t knoe about it meaning anything but was good, can tell you that one
15. Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?Underwear or nothing at all
16. If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list? To have sex
17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker? Nah, long as you’re enjoying yourself I don’t think it matters
18. Do you have a gag reflex? Yeah for sure
19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop? It’s a total flop
20. Are piercings sexy? They can be
21. Can/Have you ever squirted before? Don’t know, I haven’t
22. List your kinks? Biting, chocking, neck kissing, grabbing, dom/sub
23. How did you discover you were kinky? When I was with my ex, was able to experience different stuff, comfortably
24. What was your first kinky sexual experience? Eh I’d day first time was when I done stuff in the cinema
25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they? Just made me enjoy sex more
26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? Consent, making sure you know absolutely what you are doing and again, consent
27. Something that never fails to make you horny: Just really grabby kissing or neck kissing
28. Where is one place you would never have sex? Pretty sure this was already asked
29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when? Having a conversation with my mum, through the door while mid way through sex
30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? Handcuffs, they can hurt though and rope
31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny? Kiss my neck or touch my tighs
32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find? I don’t really have anything that I don’t want anyone to find
33. Two things you like/dislike about oral sex? I looooove giving head but hate the smell/taste of cum
34. How big is too big? anything over 7inch I think
35. One sexual thing you would never do? Anal, maybe
36. Three spots that drive me insane? Neck, thighs and my lil lady ofc
37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? YES
38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum? Yeah, if I can at least make the other person cum
39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not? I have watched lesbian porn yeah and idk why, just have
40. If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be now? About 3 months, wooooow that’s shit
41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not? I love giving head, it’s just fun as fuck
42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them? I don’t nah
43. Do you watch porn? I haven’t in a few months
44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? Nahh
45. How would you react if you found out your parents had sex on your bed? Grossed out and wonder why they didn’t use their own fs
46. Spanking: turn on or turn off? TURN ON
47. What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? I haven’t actually, my hands work well enough haha
48. Biggest sexual fantasy? That’d be telling but I do have one
49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer? Kitchen counter sounds hot but v hygienic so I’ll say couch50. Thoughts on period sex? Nothing wrong with it, just be cautious of the mess haha
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