#especially because I was half asleep

[rainey-staerie-daize]

Chillin' in my room listening to quiet music, not quite comfy but trying to be. And Skye bangs on the door multiple times with the vacuum until she bursts in to continue vacuuming. Then starts telling me all the things she did out in the main areas of the house. While still vacuuming in our bedroom.

I guess I let out some kinda screech after I turned and put my head on the wall, 'cause Skye questioned it.

[zaacataac]

I’m kind of fascinated by the concept of Jacob being in denial about his sexuality and using Percy’s transness as a justification for being attracted to him. Like him having the (very flawed) logic of “he’s a man, yeah, but he’s not technically *totally* a man because he has a woman’s body so it’s not technically homosexual, right?”

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

[blueflipflops]

Had a dream where I commisioned a horror digital artist to draw The Guy™ that stars my frequent nightmares and they sent me an uncannily accurate hyper realistic digital art of The Guy™ at its terrifying glory at the POV of me on my bed and its mangled hands on 'my throat' and my hands grasped at its wrists. I sent the dude a 15 minute recording of me screaming and babbling nonsense in terror because i was genuinely suprised and scared that they got The Guy™ so scarily accurate then i sent them like $250 i think. When i turned off my phone, i saw The Guy™ in the reflection of the screen behind me. He lunged at me and i woke up with sore throat and a fever like DAMN

[bmpmp3]

more fashion dreamer pics! more Dave plus I made my OC Meena (that one of many OCs i made off a dream LOL) as a second muse! i dont have a very close hair colour for her vaguely pinky creamsicle colour i usually paint her with rn so she just has fully pink hair for the time being jhkfldskjrf also raven showed up at my showroom! and some isaac fits because they say shit like %#^[#!{%#% so i always wanna talk to them LOL

can u tell "flirty" was my favourite style in style savvy DS vhjbelkfrfe

[nostalgia-tblr]

I like how "no male can open the Box of Jhana without losing his mind" was presumably meant at the time to rely on the "well he's an alien" loophole (or, if you prefer, the "unless... is he an idiot?" loophole really did apply) but now we're like "well he could get hit on the head this afternoon and be a woman by teatime so yeah the box might not see the Doctor overall as being 'male' even if this one might count by himself" and similar takes. Recontextualised by later developments. Fun times indeed :)

[kordbot]

wont lie i saw your norm art of him without the bag and i was like "aw cool norm humanization" i forgot he has a whole human head under there

it's alright anon. I think he forgets about it too sometimes

[dontstandmedown]

pinky promises make my heart ache because when my cousin was around 3 years old she was scared of them somehow and it was clear she felt so Big about it like this was really something that weighed on her lil mind. but she's getting so big now & has such a big personality, and its just crazy how rn she's probably only gonna remember a handful of the memories I have of her because she's still little. but she's halfway to being a teenager now, who let that happen. i thought she was still a lil baby hiding from zombies in the pantry & playing doctor during COVID..... where did the time go.........

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

[fingertipsmp3]

I will really watch a video of someone’s ✨sleep routine✨ which is essentially them straightjacketing themself and be like “oh I should try that” as if I don’t lie awake seething if I don’t have full range of movement

[mostly-imagines]

Motion Sickness

jason todd x fem!reader

aka jason makes you cry after a fight

warnings: angst with comfort

“Jason—”

He waves you off immediately, “No, I’m not your problem, okay?”

Your arms drop, “You’re not a problem at all, that’s not what I’m saying—”

“Then what are you saying?” he challenges. 

You almost bite your tongue but then decide against it, “I’m saying you’re being an asshole right now just because I tried to help.”

He’s angry and you’re someplace in between desperate and tired, but you push on, hoping you’ll be able to solve this without an extended argument. To little avail though, apparently. 

A tense exhale from him, “I don’t need your help, I don’t know how I can make it any clearer.”

“It’s not about needing it—”

“No, it’s about wanting it. I don’t want your fucking help,” he snaps. “I’m grown, I can handle my problems myself.”

You drop your hands to your sides, “Then what am I doing here, Jason?”

“I don’t know!” You can literally see the regret sweep over his face but he lets the moment consume him and the words linger anyways. 

You know he doesn’t always think before he talks, especially when he’s mad. You’ve seen it plenty when he’s fighting with his family. This is the first time it’s shown up with you though, and while you know it’s not coming from a place of genuinity—it still really fucking stung. 

Far from being in your control, tears slip out, more at his tone than his words, and you remove your gaze in favor of the linoleum tiles. He says nothing as you start to cry, which only makes the heat of the moment worsen. 

“Okay,” You take a deep breath, pursing your lips. “You need to go away.”

There’s a long, hard moment of silence, but ultimately he doesn’t fight you on it, only exhales harshly and slams the door on his way out.

The resulting reverberation of the apartment has your shoulders shaking, tears falling onto your shirt.  

You and Jason don’t fight often but when you do it’s usually about insecurities and fears coming forward. He’d been having a bad night to start with and all you wanted to do was make him feel better but he wasn’t willing to talk to you or let you do anything for him. He gets selfishly selfless like that, but you know why.

You know him, in and out. You could’ve anticipated this—you should’ve. You should’ve approached the topic more sensitively. And it’s not his fault, his life has taught him that it’s safer to believe that other people don’t have his best interest. You know that. 

Yeah, you know him in and out, but he knows you in and out, too. He knows you’ve shown him nothing but kindness and generosity since the day you met and you’ve reinforced a thousand times how safe you are for him. But if he still can’t trust you to care about him, then what are you doing here?

You let yourself fall back onto the arm of the couch, huffing in defeat. 

It’s nearing two in the morning when Dick awakens, the bandages across his abdomen digging into his skin uncomfortably. He sits up, bedsheet pooling around his waist. The ache of the bruising pushes him towards his old bedroom door before he’s even fully coherent, narrowly missing shouldering the door frame as he passes through.

He’s still half asleep as he thumps down the staircase, cold hands stuffed in the pocket of his sweatshirt. He’s so out of it in his blind search for painkillers, that he nearly misses the large shadowed figure huddled up on the couch.

Dick stills, blinking warily.

“What’re you doing here?”

His younger brother says nothing, only continues to stew in the shadows, staring at the rug.

As his eyes adjust, Dick takes in his appearance: messy hair, tired eyes, only clad in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

He rubs his eyes, approaching with measured steps, “What happened?”

Jason remains silent for a long minute before grunting out, “Got in a fight.”

Dick nods slowly, shuffling forward a little more to sit on the far end of the couch. 

“What’d you do?”

Jason doesn’t have it in him to comment on how his brother immediately knew he was the issue. It just makes the entire thing hurt even worse. Instead, he tells the truth. 

“Be myself.”

Dick says nothing, 

When the silence persists, Jason elaborates, even though it’s the last thing he wants to admit to.

“I made her cry,” he says, voice below even a whisper. He hates it and he hates himself for leaving you when he knew he’d hurt you.

Dick nods, not saying anything. He’s definitely been there before, though he’s not nearly as volatile as Jason can be, so he can imagine how this likely played out. In any case, Jason has never responded well to being pushed to talk about his feelings so Dick lets him get there in his own time.

He’s half expecting to end up with no results at all, but Jason pipes up after a minute, voice broken.

“I don’t know what she wants me to do,” he rasps.

Dick takes a deep breath, adjusting his posture. “When girls are mad you give them space but when they’re sad you definitely don’t. Is she sad or mad?”

Jason exhales desperately.

“Both, I think.”

Dick nods, understanding.

“Then go home.”

Jason shakes his head, defeated. “She told me to leave. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“What did you say?”

He huffs, not wanting to bring the memory back up. “I basically told her to fuck off.”

“Yeah,” Dick drawls. “I wouldn’t let that simmer.”

Jason’s head snaps over to him. “She’ll break up with me?”

“No, I don’t—” Dick pauses, thinking over his words. “It’ll be fine. Just go home.”

Despite taking the long route on the way to the manor, Jason sped back home on his bike, now unwilling to leave you alone for another second longer than he had to. 

He creeps through the front door of your apartment, proud and only a little hurt that you’d remembered to lock it. 

The apartment’s mostly quiet, nothing but a lamp lighting up the front half. He can hear the shower running from where he stands, the waterfall noise awfully muffled from behind the closed bathroom door.

He bolts the door behind him, pushing forward towards the hallway. He approaches the bathroom door, noticing how there’s no light flooding out from underneath.

“Baby?” Jason calls it out quietly, like he’s scared to commit to alerting you of his presence.

He hears no response, but he knows you heard him. He knows you heard him in the same way that he knows you’re sitting on the shower floor, curled in on yourself under the sensory relief that the pouring water brings. He doesn’t know how, he just does.

So he leans against the door, listening closely, and calls out again, “Can I come in?”

There’s a solid ten seconds of silence before you respond, just barely audible over the cascade of water.

“Not right now.”

Your volume has him wincing, saddened and embarrassed that he’s the one that made you feel like this.

He reluctantly walks back to the bedroom with heavy shoulders, thudding his weight down on the mattress. He sits half folded over himself for the next ten minutes, thinking only of you, sitting alone in the shower with your thoughts.

He perks up considerably when he hears the water shut off, and after several long minutes, you emerge from the bathroom, towel wrapped around your middle.

He stands up when you enter the bedroom, hands stiff and awkward at his sides. You barely look at him, having trouble willing yourself to do more than glance. 

Your eyes fall downward, your lips pursing. You instinctually move to clutching the towel tighter around you, more than anything because you don’t know what to do with your hands. 

It makes his heart break to see you so out of comfort around him—because of him—so he gives you the benefit of privacy, turning around so you can get dressed. It kills him to do it, makes him feel like he’s just some stranger in your life rather than him. But he supposes that he deserves to feel like that right now. 

Whether or not you wanted him to turn around goes unsaid, he can only hear the quiet shuffling of you putting clothes on.

He waits until the movement stops, after he hears the squeak of the bed springs and the faint sound of the sheets being pulled up.

He turns around again with a silent sigh, taking in the sight of you laying in bed, back turned to him.  

He approaches slowly, stopping just before his knees hit the mattress. He notices quickly that the t-shirt you’d chosen was one of your own. He frowns.  

“Sweetheart. Can I touch you?” His voice is soft and low, like he’s trying to coax you back out to him.

It takes a long few moments, but you nod.

He sits down on the bed, still hesitant to go through with it.

“Will you turn over?”

An even longer pause and you’re flipping over to face him. You don’t make eye contact, only look blankly past him. Your blinks are heavy, and even in the dark, he can see that your eyes are still bloodshot. 

He brushes your hair back, his fingers feather-light against you, like he’s scared to touch you too harshly. Like he’s touching porcelain.

He lets you hold the silence for a while, reasoning with himself that you’ll talk when you’re ready.

You let it go on longer than he’d hoped, past the point of him knowing what to do with it. He’d hoped you’d yell at him. He can take that, he knows he can. He can see plainly that you’re thinking deeply and wants more than anything for you to say it, scream it if you have to. 

He knows he deserves it and he frankly would take anything over the silence. But then again, he doesn’t deserve the reprieve, does he? No, but he’s not strong enough to deny himself the chance to hear your voice.

“Say it,” he urges. “Please.”

Your fingers tap against the bed sheets for a moment before you sit up, almost defeated. 

You face him, taking a breath and relenting. “I don’t like that you said that to me.”

He nods, brow deep. “Me neither.”

Your shoulders sag at that, and you feel stuck in the moment. You feel guilty too but you don’t know if you should. He didn’t mean it, you know that, and they weren’t his words, really. But the snap of his voice when he’d said it and the look on his face—it made you feel terrible. It still does.

You look awkwardly to the left, feeling heavily spectated by him and so hyper-conscious of all of your movements. The downturn of your lips gives way to burning in your eyes and before you can do anything about it, tears are spilling out. 

Jason sees it immediately, his head lulling helplessly. 

“Oh, baby. Please don’t cry, please.”

But that only makes it worse, the tears falling faster and heavier at his soft tone.

He forgoes asking permission and pulls you directly into his chest, a firm hand on the back of your head. It’s what you needed though, to be close to him right now.

“I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry, baby—” he murmurs against your hair, pressing a rough kiss as he holds you tighter.

You shake your head, sniffling. “It’s okay, Jay.”

“No, it’s not.”

That sentiment lingers for several minutes, as he holds you cheek to chest and rubs soothing patterns into your hair.

It’s not long before you’re able to fully relax against him, his touch feeling nothing short of therapeutic. Your breathing eventually levels out back to baseline and your thoughts start to find peace amongst themselves.

When you’re ready, you sit back from him, letting him see your face again.                    

He visibly winces as he scans over the tears on your cheeks, how they’re starting to stain.

You’re still upset, a little, but not nearly as much as you’re sure your face is conveying. 

“It’s okay,” you tell him, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.

He shakes his head, “If I ever say something like that to you again, hit me. I’m serious.”

You drop your hand onto your lap, tilting your head at him with a serious look. “I’m not going to hit you—”

“Then break up with me. Don’t ever let somebody talk to you like that, especially not me.”

His voice is hard and you can tell the impact of his words have every bit of weight intended.

Your mouth closes and you waver unsure of where to go with that. Your gaze falls down to where your hands lie discarded on your lap and there’s a palpable shift to the air in the room.

“Hey.” He pushes your chin up to make you look at him, “Listen to me. You’re the love of my life. You hear me? I’m supposed to take care of you, make you happy. I don’t…I can’t talk to you like that. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Your eyes flicker back and forth across each others and you can see the genuine sincerity etched plainly across his face.

He processes the comprehension across your own before his jaw tenses for a moment and he adds, “Nobody’s gonna talk to you like that, much less me. Yes?” 

You start to nod slowly and he mirrors you until he’s convinced of your belief in the statement. 

He rubs calm circles into your thighs as you both sit with the conversation, the light sounds of each others breaths the only sound heard. This silence isn’t the same as it was before though, it’s safer, more comfortable. It’s familiar, if not weighted.  

“I love you,” you tell him quietly.

His eyebrows furrow like his heart was just shattered. 

“I love you too, baby. So much.”

🦟 if you don't reblog things i'm actively sending bad vibes your way 🦟 and maybe also a plague

[rumisgf]

❝ THINGS THEY DO THAT GIVE YOU BUTTERFLIES ! ❞ ╰┈➤ MHA EDITION

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ includes: shoto todoroki, kirishima eijirou, hitoshi shinsou, denki kaminari, katsuki bakugou, izuku midoriya, sero hanta

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warnings: suggestive? ig lmao, mentions of marijuana/drug usage

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

✮ helps you do your skincare and looks at your face so focused as he rubs aquaphor/vaseline on your skin

✮ holds you by the waist while walking across the street

✮ just something about the way he says “c’mere.” man

✮ will fight people to sit next to you when y’all go out to eat with friends

✮ when he’s stopping you from going somewhere or doing something stupid he forces you into a hug, burying your face into his chest as he restrains you

✮ wipes food off the corner of your mouth and eye crust off the corner of your eyes

✮ lifts you up off the ground and throws you over his shoulder with ease

✮ kisses your hands from your fingertips to your palms

✮ gives you rides to places y’all get invited to even if he’s not going because he wants you to be safe

✮ adjusts your bonnet/scarf for you while you lay down (and if you wear glasses– he takes them off for you when you fall asleep with them on accidentally)

✮ grabs you by your neck to kiss you.

✮ makes you put your face in the camera on facetime and constantly telling you “get off paused”

TODOROKI SHOTO

✮ insists on feeding you his food every time he gets something to eat and you’re in his vicinity— he’ll just bring food up to your mouth and say “open”

✮ and shares drinks without not caring one bit about swapping spit

✮ mindlessly kisses your cheek while he studies sitting next to you

✮ will sit in the bathroom with you while you pee

✮ leans his forehead against yours before/after kissing you

✮ brings you around his friends because he wants them to love you as much as he does

✮ constantly hugging you from behind

✮ is quick to defend you any time his father says something slick, and will tell endeavour about himself immediately

✮ will carry you up the stairs if you feel lazy

✮ has a habit of spoiling you that he has no intention of breaking

✮ says “bless you” with the sweetest voice every time you sneeze, and pats your back every time you cough

✮ brushes hair out of your face even if you don’t notice it there

✮ he has a hard time with feelings, so on special occasion— or if he just feels like it, he’ll write you lengthy love letters signed with his initial and a heart at the end

MIDORIYA IZUKU

✮ lays you in his lap when he studies so he can still hold you while he’s occupied

✮ if you even utter the words “i want”, he’s buying it.

✮ always offers to tie your shoes

✮ drags his y’s when he calls you baby or honey (“but babyyyy”)

✮ holds your hand in front of his friends with no shame

✮ wears anything you buy him no matter if it matches his wardrobe or not

✮ licks his lips a lot

✮ lets you mindless play with his hair and he does the same with you

✮ gives the best massages known to man

✮ bounces his leg often, especially when you’re sitting in lap

✮ also always hugs your waist when you sit in his lap

✮ has a highlight for you on his main instagram account that he’s constantly updating because he’s constantly posting you

✮ rushes to zip up your jacket for you before you can do it yourself

✮ pats your head to tease you

SERO HANTA

✮ always throw his arm over your shoulder when he sits next to you on the couch

✮ when you try to get sassy with him he straight up laughs in your face and noogies you

✮ lifts you up to sit on the counter while he fixes himself something to eat in the kitchen

✮ laughs when you show him guys talking to themselves in your dm requests

✮ smiles at you with half open eyes when you smoke together

✮ also the best trip sitter in the world

✮ quick to call you and ask what you want went he grabs something to eat for himself

✮ if you hug him standing up while he’s sitting down he hugs you tight around your waist and leans his head in your stomach

✮ willingly lets you drive his car and if you don’t know how to drive, has no problem teaching you

✮ lets you sit in his lap when he’s on the phone or on the game

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

✮ gives you princess treatment. always.

✮ literally has a seat cover on his passenger seat that says “princess” that he puts on whenever he’s about to have you in his car

✮ holds your hand and walks you down the stairs

✮ offers to wash your hair for you

✮ will send you money without a question if you even utter the words “i’m hungry” or “i want..”

✮ carries you everywhere even when it’s not necessary

✮ always refers to you as “my lady” or “my baby” to other people— he barely uses your name.

✮ brushes your hair and puts lotion on for you

✮ geniunely enjoys going perfume shopping with you and will try different ones out to help you choose

✮ fixes your posture if you’re hunching while sitting

✮ pokes your cheek when he thinks you look cute or if he just feels like it

✮ king of forehead kisses, he gave you ones even when y’all were just friends

KAMINARI DENKI

✮ looks at you with glossy eyes while you’re high together, making direct contact as he stares at your lips while you talk and licks his own as he plans his next action

✮ is constantly calling you “baby”

✮ throws his head back as he gulps down a can of soda, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down his neck as he gives you an amazing view of his jawline

✮ certified french kissing addict

✮ says “hmm?” in a soft tone to tease you- or when he genuinely does not hear you

✮ puts his hands over yours to show you how to do something

✮ squishes your cheeks when you pout and laughs in your face

✮ kisses your neck in a sweet way, not even to start something

✮ him playing guitar. that’s all i need to say.

✮ wipes the food of the corner of your mouth and licks it off his thumb, just so casually

✮ in general- casually touches you in a way or says things that leave you flustered out of words and acts like it’s nothing (sometimes it’s not even on purpose)

✮ does that hand/finger motion with his two fingers when he wants you to hand him something or come over to him (ik y’all know what i’m talking about)

✮ feeds you his food and asks you to feed him, leading to yall always feeding each other when yall go out to get food— even around y’all’s friends

HITOSHI SHINSOU

✮ pulls in his lap whenever he feels like it and rests his hand on your thigh, rubbing it with his thumb

✮ “use your words” –in the most casual way possible.

✮ will check you every time you have an attitude just to get you flustered

✮ makes you maintain eye contact with him when you’re flustered and will tease you endlessly

✮ whispers in your ear in public (mainly to talk shit)

✮ while give you his jacket in public without you asking and just let you keep it after you go home

✮ rolls blunts for you while fake complaining that you need to learn how to roll (he’d still roll for you even if you did)

✮ smacks his lip and rolls his eyes lot

✮ taps his finger on his desk or the arm of his chair when he’s thinking

✮ leans his head back on his chair often

✮ prefers you to face him when he has you on his lap

© rumisgf

[nope-body]

.

[shoyudon]

𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐈 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 .ᐟ

them forgetting a date night.

starring. gojo, sukuna, toji x fem! reader

heads up. cursing, no fluff, sukuna can use a phone (bcs u taught him lol /j), sukuna calling u "woman"

note. haiii, how are you guys doing? make sure to take care of yourself!! i'm feeling a bit angsty today, so i'm gonna write a bit of angst. i miss gojo, like so much u guys :( i might make a part two for this btw hehe

──────〃★ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

the one thing you hated more than people being late was people who don't keep their promises — your boyfriend wasn't an exception to it. gojo's a busy man, you get it. for months you haven't been able to see him because he was so caught up in the jujutsu world; he saves people dan and night from lingering curses that it broke you a bit.

the jujutsu world treats him like a weapon; and you never liked it. despite your constant battering on him, trying to get him to quit and just settled in for a quiet life, he tells you that he can't. that people needed him, and you felt selfish.

but isn't it fine to be selfish sometimes?

clutching onto your phone, you'd tried dialing gojo's number at least six times before he answers. his voice groggy and slow, as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep, "huh . . . hello?"

you wanted to yell at him, especially because he was the one who has been reminding you about this particular date night — and he was the one to forget about it, "good sleep?" you ended up asking him, voice hard.

"y/n . . . why did you—"

"why did i call? oh, i don't know. maybe because my boyfriend stood me up for an hour and a half. i look like an idiot sitting here, satoru," you mutter out in embarrassment, avoiding the lingering gazes from both waiters and waitresses around you.

for the past hour, you've lost count of how many times you'd ask them to refill your glass of tea — embarrassing. then telling them you were waiting for someone when they tried to ask you if you were going to order anything since there were people waiting for a table, just for the said person not showing up.

"what time is— oh, fuck. baby, i'm so sorry, i fell asleep when i was work—"

before he could finish his words, you finished it for him, "working. i get it, you're always working. clearly, you don't have time for anything else, right?" you ask him, signaling the waiter nearby for the bill.

"baby, i know. i'm so sorry, i'm on my way, okay? please," he whispers. you could hear a few shuffling on the background; along with a few curses he muttered under his breath as he stumble over his feet, mind hazy from all the sudden movements he was doing despite just waking up.

"no need. i'm leaving the place," you mutter, walking out of the restaurant — heels clacking on the pavement, "and 'm leaving you, because clearly you're not ready for a relationship, so bye."

gojo yells out, "what? no, baby. i swear — i'll make it up to you, please. don't leave me . . ." he rambled on the same words over and over again, "where are you? i'm picking you up. please, can we talk about this? i'm sorry, i know i should've—"

"bye, satoru," and with that you ended the call.

──────〃★ 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍

you fiddled the hem of your dress as you sat inside the almost closed restaurant, the last speck of hope you had on your boyfriend —sukuna— dissipating into hopelessness. standing up you walked over to the cashier, taking out your card to pay for the one glass of shrimp cocktail and one glass of white wine.

the cashier shot you a sympathetic look, and you didn't dare to look her into her eyes. face hard from embarrassment and shame, "thank you for coming, come again next time, ma'am . . ." she bids you goodbye as she returns your card.

walking out of the restaurant that now had the 'closed' sign flipped made your stomach churn in mixed feelings: anger, embarrassment, shame, sadness, everything all at once.

sinking your nails onto the palm of your hand, you muttered out strings of curses. you knew being in a relationship with someone who had no understanding to the concept of love was a hard thing — but honestly, you thought you got a hang of it. all this time you had been nothing but patient with sukuna, but maybe even that wasn't enough for him.

three hours. you sat alone inside the restaurant you booked for the both of you for three hours — each hour depleting your hope even more. and sukuna just managed to fuck it up even after he said he'd try. well, you should've underlined the keyword there: he said he'd try not that he'd come.

maybe you saw it coming yet it still disappointed you anyways.

your phone rang. even before you see who it was — you knew it's none other than sukuna. your heart screamed at you to answer his phone call, but your mind told you to leave it ringing because you were in no mood to talk to him. yet, at the end — you still pressed the answer button.

"what?"

"where are you?" his rough voice echoed through the line as you walked down the nearly empty street, holding onto your purse, "place's closed."

scoffing, you answered, "'f course it's closed, it's almost ten. i've been waiting for three hours, ryo. three hours."

you could hear him inhale sharply, "i was caught up with something, woman. where are you now?" he questioned. hearing a few car honking behind on the background, "where are you? answer me."

"doesn't matter, i left. and i'm leaving you, i was wrong thinking maybe i could've changed you — turns out, i couldn't. good luck to you," you mutter out sternly.

sukuna raised a brow, "y're kidding."

you weren't, and all he could hear next was the loud dial tune of the other line hanging up — now did he realize that this was all serious and you were actually leaving him for good.

──────〃★ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

you sighed, dialing toji for the first time of the night when he said that he was going to pick you up for a date, the phone rung for a while before going into voicemail. grumbling under your breath, you tried dialing him again for the second time, which ended up the same way.

all these time spent on makeup and picking out the best outfit — all for nothing as your boyfriend, toji failed to show up on time. angry, you tried calling him again for the third time, only for it to end up in voicemail yet again. this time you decided to leave a message for him.

"hey, you forgot. didn't you? hope you're happy with yourself, cause 'm not."

dating toji wasn't the easiest — but you love him, no matter what he was like. and it was stupid of you to do so, all this time you've defended his name against your friends' malice towards him, saying how he wasn't treating you well enough and that you deserved so much better.

despite all that, you love him. disregarding their words, retorting back to how toji treats you well, which he does — except for the times he tended to forget about everything, even you. maybe it was time to open your eyes and actually break up; because you did deserve better than this.

it would be a shame to let all this makeup go to waste, and so you hailed a cab and decided to go out for a treat. and made the best out of everything, that is until toji decided it would be the most convenient time to call you back amidst your little "me time".

wiping your hand on the napkin, you answered him, "huh, you're alive," you muttered out, huffing.

he sighs, "i forgot, sorry." you couldn't see him, but toji actually looked remorseful, already on his way out of his apartment to yours, "i'm on my way."

you chuckled, "doesn't matter. i left my house," you informed, taking a bite out of the crab meat, "so don't bother coming — and i don't think i don't deserve this kind of treatment from anyone, even you, toji. i'm breaking up with you because clearly you don't take this relationship as seriously as i am."

toji furrowed his brows, "i forgot, i fucked up, i can make it up. where are you right now?" he asks, his voice still as calm as cucumber. but the look on his face contradicted the tone of his voice.

"bye, toji. good luck."

© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !

[ms-demeanor]

I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?

Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.

Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."

Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.

BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.

Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.

ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.

Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:

1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."

2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.

3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.

4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.

5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.

6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.

7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).

[godzexperiment]

so my brain was thinking about how god abandons creation around christmas+that's when everything ends up going down.

holidays are typically for loved ones, kind actions and I mean if go with the various religious tones to it there really is something about abandoning humanity+creation and everything around that specific time that's just such the fuck you.

also the fact he did give the archangels gifts before dipping. like it was probably 100% an handing the mantle over, and some farewell gesture or whatever. but oh that really could read as pouring lemon juice into the gaping wound.

plus something to be said about the 'here's an chosen one byeee' in conjunction to christmas.

(nix with this information just like -adds it to the list of i hate my maker- even more so than like his own reasons to be upset etc)

also! you just know things like the 'did you fall from heaven' fell out of the lexicon. even if the state of the world wasn't so busted up; most have tossed aside the image that had been built up about angels.

that being said, nix 'human' without his memories is unsure why he's oddly entertained by the old phrases. it's 100% one of those things that cause weird emotions he can't quite name. so he favors the amusement aspect. and he respectfully wouldn't use such phrases or even talk about it. fascinated by past depictions & all that, especially the shift of things.

however! he does sketch angels at times (per usual just differently than other verses+ when the god given floodgates start breaking it reflects is those sketches specifically) and like certain people, circumstances he might be prone to rambling or ranting accordingly. sleep deprived nix rambling about such things is actually quite an honor to witness.

things like 'okay but who was calling their loved ones angel anyways? like you know it was some honeyed phrase that wasn't given the full passion... nobody was going around like i'm calling you Angel, because you're beautiful in spite of all your horrors and lovable even with blood on your hands.'