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centralperkchenford · 1 year ago

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do you think you can ever write Ava a little bit older (maybe 11-13ish) who becomes very interested in crime docus like her mama and one day stumble into a very poorly written docu about Caleb and Rosalind? Maybe it's in school and suddenly she just become inconsolable that Tim had to pick her up from school because Lucy was busy but only when Ava sees her she starts to calm down? I know everyone loves ans adores dadford esp. with your little Ava but I hope you can do more Lucy x Ava too 🙏🙏🙏

I got inspiration for this one in the middle of the day at work. It will also be my 200th fic on AO3 😌

Hero

Tim gets the call from Ava’s school at noon, he’s sitting in his office looking through the files when his phone buzzes. Ava’s school flashing on his phone and he snatches it up.

“Hello?” He answers his eyes scanning the paper, there’s a noise in the background that sounds like crying and then the woman on the other line is speaking.

“Mr. Bradford?” She asks. “This is Mrs. Wilkins the principal from John Burroughs Middle school. I’m calling about your daughter Ava. We tried calling your wife.” Tim sighs Lucy was out on a case and probably couldn’t get to her phone.

Tim sits up immediately. “Is she okay?” He asks panic rising in his chest, the schools rarely called about the kids but when they did it was usually something serious.

There’s a pause and then Ava’s shaky voice comes over the line. “Daddy.” She says and his heart sinks even more. Ava is 12 now and in 6th grade, she rarely calls him daddy now unless she’s upset.

“Hi baby. What’s the matter?” He asks. Ava takes a deep breath and let’s out a shaky one.

“I-I watched this crime documentary last night that one of my friends told me to watch a-and it was about mom. And e-everyone was asking what happened b-but I-I didn’t know and I just couldn’t think. T-they kept asking and singing that song. A-and I-I feel like I-can’t b-reathe.” She sobs and Tim is already out of his chair and grabbing his keys.

“Sweetheart what did I tell you about watching those documentaries at night?” Tim asks softly. Ava hiccups and her breathing gets faster. “I-I’m sorry. I-It w-as stupid. I’m stupid.”

“Ava breathe. You are not stupid.” Tim says softly. Ava doesn’t answer and then Mrs. Wilkins is back on the line.

“She’s really upset. Nothing we say or do is calming her down. Can you come pick her up?” The principal asks.

“I’m on my way.” Tim says. “She’s having a panic attack. She needs to breathe. Tell her to breathe. Think happy thoughts.” Mrs. Wilkins hums in acknowledgment and tells her he will be there in five minutes.

He makes it to the middle school in four and half minutes and he’s in the office in two minutes. The secretary leads him back to the principal’s office where is daughter is sitting her knees pulled up and her face buried in her knees.

Tim sighs and kneels down and lifts her head. Her eyes are red and puffy and she has tear stains on her cheeks.

“Hi sweetie.” He says. She lets out a sob and falls into his arms burying her face into his chest. “Where’s mom?” She says her voice muffled. “I want mom.”

Tim’s heart breaks as he stands up pulling his distressed daughter with him. Her backpack is on the chair next to where she was so he grabs it and slings it over his shoulder. “She was busy Aves.” He says. Ava cries some more and shakes as she looks up at him.

“Is s-she okay?” Ava asks. “Is she—” She buries her face back into his chest.

“Yes Ava. She’s okay.” Tim says leading his daughter out of the room. “She’s okay.” Ava lifts her head up.

“W-why did that man do that to her? W-why did she have to go through that?” Ava asks. Tim sighs not really knowing how to answer that. He doesn’t even why Lucy had to go through that, it still made him queasy thinking about Lucy suffocating in that barrel.

“I don’t know Ava. I don’t know. But your mama’s a survivor and she’s the strongest person I know. She made it through.” He says as he signs her out.

“I hate that man.” Ava mumbles. “I’m glad he’s dead.” Tim couldn’t agree more with a statement, he just hates that his twelve year old was the one who said it.

“Why did your friends suggest this documentary if they knew it involved your mom?” Tim asks. Ava turns red and looks away from him tears welling up in her eyes. “Not my friends more like my bullies.” She mutters. “They didn’t tell me.” Tim takes a deep breath and let’s it out.

“Ava..” He starts but his daughter shakes her head, her breathing becoming fast again.

“I-I know. I know. I just want mom. Please.” Ava says through her tears. Tim sighs as he leads her out of the office, he already has his phone out. Ava walks next to him her hand slipping into his. He looks over at her and presses Lucy’s name. She answers on the first ring.

“Hey.” She says. “Where are you? I came to your office to have lunch but you weren’t there.” Tim sighs and glances over at Ava who has her other hand over her chest as if willing her heart beat to slow down.

“I had to pick up Ava.” He says quietly. “Are you at the station?”

Lucy sucks in a breath. “Yes I am. Is she okay? Is she sick?” She asks.

Tim sighs. “She’s not sick.” He answers. “Can you meet me in my office?”

“Tim what’s going on? Is Ava okay?” Lucy asks her voice becoming frantic.

“Luce. She’s just a little freaked out. Okay? I will explain but she needs to see you.” He says. “Just meet us in my office.”

“Okay.” Says Lucy and he knows she’s not completely calm and neither is Ava who is staring at the ground.

Tim hangs up and nudges Ava forward. “We are going to see mom sweetheart.” He says softly. “Just breathe.”

Ava is shaking again by the time they get to his truck. And he wonders why she kept watching the documentary when she realized it was about Lucy. Ava had a curious mind, she was extremely smart but sometimes never thought things through.

“Do you hate me for watching it?” Ava asks as he backs out. Tim shakes his head and looks over at her.

“No! Ava, I could never hate you. But why did you keep watching it?” He asks. Ava shrugs her shoulders and looks out the window.

The ride is silent all the way to the station and Tim knows the only thing that will calm down Ava down at this point is Lucy.

***

Lucy paces the length of Tim’s office nervously wondering what the heck happened to Ava that freaked her out so much. She hates when her kids are upset, and Ava her ever brave child who always puts on a brave face even when it hurts. Something must have really triggered her for her to be so freaked out.

The door opens and Lucy looks up to see Ava, tears pooling in her blue eyes as she stares at Lucy. She seems frozen and then Tim appears behind her, his hand on her shoulder.

“See Aves? She’s fine!” He says. Lucy gives him a look but before she can question it, Ava is rushing towards her and is in Lucy’s arms in seconds. Lucy hugs her tightly and gives Tim another questioning look over her head.

“She uh watched a crime documentary about…” He begins but stops when Ava starts sobbing. Lucy could only guess what it was about. Her daughter got her love for crime documentaries from her and it was only a matter of time before she stumbled across what that was about Caleb and Rosalind and her.

“Oh baby.” She mumbles. Ava hugs her tighter as she calms down her fingers gripping her shirt.

“T-these girls told me to watch it, they said it was good but it wasn’t. I had to see…you and it just.. they painted him in a good light like he was..” Ava cries. Lucy rubs her back and she’s not sure if she’s more angry at these girls or who ever made this documentary.

“Sweetheart I’m so sorry.” Says Lucy. “Why did you continue to watch it?”

Ava hiccups and looks up at Lucy. Her eyes red and puffy, “They said if I didn’t they would tell everyone who I like.” She says. “And they would spread it around so it gets to him. I didn’t know it was about you mom. I..And I know you have talked to me and Daisy about it before but I didn’t know how bad it was.”

“Baby why didn’t you tell us about these girls?” Asks Lucy soft brushing some hair out of her eyes. “We could have helped. We will help.” She knows Ava protects everyone around her, she has stood up for her and Tim more than once. And she’s especially protective over her siblings, she would go to war for any of them. She has never had a problem with bullies before.

Ava takes a deep breath and shrugs. “I thought I could handle it myself. I used my words like you and dad taught me. But they are so mean. They make fun of me. A-and today t-they kept asking. And singing that song. And I couldn’t handle it. I hate it! I hate that you went through that.” She starts sobbing again and Lucy pulls her tighter. Her heart breaking into pieces as she holds her daughter, being in that barrel was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to her. But holding her still innocent daughter in her arms she felt like she was experiencing it all over again.

“Oh baby.” She says. “I hate that you even know about this. Let alone saw anything about it. But you know what your dad told me?” Ava shakes her head against her chest still sobbing.

“I survived. It was the first day of the rest of my life. And he was right. I survived. I fell in love with your dad and we had you Ava Rose, you saved me even more. You and your brother and sisters are the best things that have ever happened to us.”

Ava looks up at her and Lucy cups her face. “You are beautiful Ava. And brave and smart. I know you protect everyone you love but sometimes you got to protect yourself and stand up for yourself. I know you can do it baby, but daddy and I will help okay?”

Ava nods and hugs Lucy again, sniffling as she does. “I’m glad you survived mom. You have taught me how to be brave. And to survive.” Ava says softly. Lucy smiles at her and then looks over her shoulder to see Tim reappearing in the doorway. She hasn’t even noticed him leaving.

“You are still so young Ava.” Lucy says. “I don’t expect you to understand everything that has happened. But your dad—your dad saved me. He didn’t give up, he did whatever he had to do to get to me.”

Tim makes a noise from the doorway and they both look at him. “I don’t know what that documentary said or what it showed. But your mom saved herself Ava.” He looks at Lucy his eyes soft. “She’s right I did get to her because I didn’t give up. But your mom was smart and left a clue for me. I saved her because of that. And that is the truth, your mom is amazing. She is my hero because of that.” Ava looks at Lucy, and for the first time since she had come into Tim’s office Ava smiles. And it’s a real Ava smile one that Lucy knows and loves.

“You are my hero too mom.” She says quietly. “You always have been.” Lucy chokes back at sob as she hugs her daughter and she realizes there’s nothing better than this. She feels Tim’s lips on top of her head muttering how proud he is of both of them.

They would figure out the problem at school later but for right now Lucy wants to hug Ava and Tim because it’s comforting and it’s everything she needs.

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #tim x lucy #chenford fanfic #lucy chen #chenford fic #anon answered #Ava Bradford-OC

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eeclare · 11 months ago

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Something that I’ve noticed in bobs burgers is that they seem to be hinting at the passage of time starting around season 10-11 ish??

Like hear me out:

It really feels like they’re hinting that almost a year has passed since the first season

in s11 when they make the trip to the airport to see gloria and al, Bob is all excited about it because that means they don’t have to go on their trip to florida “this year” and we know that they visit Linda’s parents yearly

And we have only had one episode in which they actually visit them lol

Not to mention the fact that Tina has now had two “bday”episodes (s12 wasn’t rlly birthday related, but it takes place in the weeks before her bday and it is a minor side plot) which heavily indicates that they are trying to imply the passage of time in which all of these episodes kind of take place in the same year

Obvi Christmas and thanksgiving eps are repeated a ton but you (as in the collective you) have to keep in mind the fact that this is a tv show and tv shows typically have to follow certain rules and such esp if disney/fox is in charge

And the movie takes place in the summer time (which comes after Tina’s bday, as i just learned)

+ the summer also happens in the first season after Tina’s birthday yet again

So after saying all this, there’s just one thing that I DO NOT understand at alllllllll which is the fact that they didn’t make s13 or 14 have Tina starting high school or the kids going into dif grades and such

Like fr people THINK of the possibilities

There would be soo many emotions with gene and louise navigating going to a different school than tina and tina just starting high school in general

UGH and all of the high school experiences she could have

And tbh we could keep her as a 9th grader forever and I would be just as happy

Okay obviously I do actually understand WHY they chose not to do that, bcs sometimes when they age characters up in shows like that it bombs

But think of All Grown Up (rugrats reboot/aged up) which I know is kinda niche(?) and an entirely different series from rugrats but still I always just loved the idea of aging characters up so that we kind of grow with them lol

(btw am i the only one that can kind of see a tina-tackling-high school spin off show being semi-successful?)

and I also feel the need to mention Boy Meets World which effectively aged their characters up AND kept it all in one show lmao

So we know it’s possible, it’s just dangerous 💀

Anyway, at end of my very long winded rant, I just want to say that the creators are just (subtly) shoving it right in our faces and we just are not acknowledging the fact that only a year as gone by in the canonical bobs burgers universe and that is just totally wild to me

thank u for your time 🤟

#bob’s burgers #bob belcher #fangirl #tina belcher #louise belcher #bob’s burgers headcannon #bobs burgers #gene belcher #linda belcher #headcannons #knowledge #i love bob so much

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serpentinegraphite · 2 years ago

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Okay, I'm having trouble matching sources for all of OP's claims.

I'm certainly not calling OP a liar or claiming that American Education Is Good, Actually, because I'm pretty familiar with the commonly cited statistic that American adults can't read above a 5th grade level (here's a snopes article sourcing some Gallup data and the linked PIAAC data that's a little more readable especially if you're on mobile), but it's worth emphasizing here that:

The PIAAC skills results (i.e., proficiency levels) do not specifically correspond to measures such as grade levels at school. The PIAAC proficiency levels have a use-oriented conception of competency and focus on describing what types of tasks adults at each level can typically do and their ability to apply information from the task to accomplish goals they may encounter in everyday life; for example, identifying a job search result that meets certain criteria.

The PIAAC does test comprehension and proficiency for interpreting data (not just vocab, as many of the replies and reblogs first expected), and while the US is decently behind the top two countries measured this way (Japan and Finland), it's ahead of the international average for this metric.

The second source link also suggests some heavy deficits in how US education teaches children to read (and makes what seem to me compelling arguments for improvements, though I don't specialize in early childhood education and am not familiar enough to judge their relevance), but does not contextualize this or compare it to any kind of international average.

I understand the initial distress of OP's claim that Americans can't read above an elementary school level, but journalists and publications are fully aware of this, and many have guidelines and standards for writing that take that into account (e.g. in my journalism classes, I was told to aim for a 6th grade reading level or lower and shown specific guidelines for how to make information accessible and minimize jargon. The US government and CDC aim specifically for 3rd–5th grade reading levels. The NYT aims higher, and your local publications may vary, but news is meant to be accessible, so the range could be closer to a 5th—9th grade reading level on average). Therefore, it's not at all accurate that people below a 6th grade reading level only have access to TV and video.

More accurately to the PIAAC data, 18% or so might have trouble with being able to read simple articles or web pages, but once again the US meets the PIAAC international average here (23% at literacy level 1 or below).

I've done my best to review the PIAAC data, but I'm simply not finding any backing for the claim that 55% of US adults cannot read long texts at all.

This appears to be a pretty clear misinterpretation of the data.

Quick question, genuine question:

Why on earth does "more than half of US adults under 30 cannot read above an elementary school level" not strike horror into the heart of everyone who hears it?

Are the implications of it unclear????

I'm serious, people keep reacting with a sort of vague dismissal when I point this out, and I want to know why!

If adults in the US cannot read, then the only information they have access to is TV and video, the spaces with the most egregious and horrific misinformation!

If they cannot read, they cannot escape that misinformation.

This obscene lack of literacy should strike fear into every heart! US TV is notoriously horrific propaganda!

Is that???? Not??? Obvious???????

I know this sounds sarcastic, I know it does, but I'm completely serious here. I do not understand where the disconnect is.

#this was a fun research rabbit hole. I think it's not always constructive to take US education as a whole monolith either.#Literacy and education rates can vary pretty severely by region so ymmv pretty severely #and the PIAAC data does go as specific as US county averages #it's also relevant to note that the PIAAC data for the US does go back years—but they changed methods a few times #so most of what's on their website is the 2012/2014 and 2017 surveys and is not reflective of the entire history of their data #because the older data might not compare as smoothly given the change in methodology. so I only looked at the recent data.#also the PIAAC website isn't really geared for readability esp on mobile. it's a lot of research jargon so like.#might not be the most accessible reference for trying to share info on tumblr?#also PIAAC being kind of the Big Source for this it's relevant once again that OP clearly wasn't using them as the primary source for #'adults under 30' as their data is divided into 16–24 and 25–34 age brackets.#once again while the PIAAC's info was used to find the elementary school level reading statistic that's not ACTUALLY what they measure #all this to say that the constant barrage of misinfo and poor media literacy is definitely a problem #but it's uh I think a little more complex than 'US early childhood education about reading sucks'#I couldn't find an international statistic or average comparable to the 'below a 6th grade reading level' stat so lmk if anyone has one #6th graders are 11–12 years old on average so that's probably how OP came up with the 'can't read chapter books' line #it's pretty common for US school libraries to sort books by reading level by grade and from my experience #there were definitely chapter books below a 6th grade reading level. e.g. by my school's AR metric PJO was like 4.7 #so like. a fourth grade reading level (for ages 8–9) based on difficulty of plot/syntax tho they're obvs marketed to 6th grade or so #american education #not trying to like start a fight with OP or anything but these are very bold claims and they're getting a lot of notes so.

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glitchbirds · 6 months ago

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started watching the his dark materials tv adaptation earlier this week- something that i had meant to do back in 2019 when it began and never quite got around to. started s3 yesterday so i should get the remaining 7 episodes under my belt within the next few days genuinely it is fascinating to watch an adaptation of a series that i read only once, when i was ten years old, but which left such a profound impression on me that i have consistently cycled back to it for years and years (esp when its such a complex, sprawling fantasy world-or several worlds, really- that its adapting)

as ive mentioned Several times over the years- maybe not on this particular account though-, i was gifted an omnibus copy of all three books in one by my older brother, either for christmas or my birthday i cant remember, sometime before the 2007 movie came out (meaning i had to have been 10 at the absolute oldest when i started reading them, though maybe 11 by the time i finished?). i also very clearly remember The Controversy surrounding them among christians, mainly because of a few comments by classmates but more importantly because my (fourth grade, iirc?) teacher pulled me out of class one day to tell me the book i was reading was sinful and atheist and against god and etc (which made me cry very hard </3 even though she told me i could still read it. this was back when my dad still took me to (catholic) church on a semi-regular basis to appease my grandmother as well as sunday school (run by my older cousins) and at least a year or so before i started to develop a modicum of critical thought towards deep south church teachings. i was petrified of the idea of going to hell and scared to do anything whatsoever to jeopardize my chances) (this did not stop me from reading the book however, because i enjoyed it too much. but i also have a clear memory of reading the book every chance i got w/o paying much attention to what was happening around me and one day realizing that i was reading it while at church service and mentally freaking out that i was doing something sacrilegious and trying to force myself to stop reading. i think i spent about 10 minutes bored out of my mind before i, internally apologetic, went back to reading) luckily my parents seemed unaware or unphased by the fearmongering- i assume my mother never noticed, or this was before she started to become insane from fox news poisoning; my dad i think brought it up briefly because of a flyer he saw but wasnt overly worried about it- because i saw the movie in theaters (i liked it ok; have never seen it since, i want to now though) and also acquired the ds game (tbh i enjoyed it despite it being tie-in garbage and me being v bad at video games as a kid; i never managed to beat it though) and later the wii game (bad </3 never got far into it)

Anywayyyy. again i have never since reread any of the books or read any of the other novellas and the like philip pullman has written set in the same world, though im itching to do that now; and ofc while ive skimmed through wiki articles and the like to refresh my memory on things, my memory of most of the plot points in the books are heavily based on My Perspective As A Ten Year Old Child. i remember the first book the best, a decent amount of subtle knife, and can only recall a few specifics of amber spyglass, and its only now while revisiting the world by watching the tv show that im getting a proper, more well-rounded view of the symbolism and messaging and Authorial Intent(tm) behind the series, because of course a lot of this shit flew right over my stupid little child brain as a kid. once i got to the third book i started to understand, vaguely, why my teacher didnt want me reading this book and why there was a backlash against the movie, but a lot of things that are obvious to me now (and would have been obvious if i read the series just a few years later, really) just did not compute for a 10 y/o. which ofc does not mean that i think its a Bad thing i read them that young but all of ^ that turns watching this series into a mix of "oh i remember that" "oh i know whats coming up" "oh my god i forgot that this is from HDM, this has influenced so many creative projects over the years w/o me even realizing it" "oh they skipped over it but i know in the books there was a scene here that i loved and that has stuck with me forever" "i dont remember this from the books but it extrapolates perfectly from what i remember about these characters" "oh my god was the symbolism here really that obvious and i still didnt pick up on it" etc etc etc ANYWAYYYY. my actual review of the tv series so far: -season 1 in particular is sorely lacking in how it portrays daemons and it made me increasingly sad. daemons were without a doubt my favorite thing from these books and one of my favorite things in a work of fantasy Ever to the point where over the years i have Repeatedly decided to sit down and spend a ridiculous amount of time painstakingly plotting out what daemon i think (x) character from (x) piece of media i enjoy, would have. many of which are still committed to memory. i fucking love daemons as a concept and i wish this shit was public domain so any piece of fiction i write could utilize them forever. i get budget issues exist or w/e but whyyyy would you adapt a series where every character in a world would have a cgi animal with them at all times if you couldnt actually show those cgi animals in more than a handful of scenes per episode and only for (some) major characters and only if they had a speaking role in that scene and also occasionally just have them teleport instead of showing them walking from one room to the next and also crowd shots are fucking barren. its like watching a live action pkmn tv show where pokemon are onscreen for a combined 5-10 minutes out of 60 minute episodes. s2 is a bit better about it but it also spends significantly more time in other worlds where daemons arent visible so ig its easier to budget in more daemons in scenes that take place in lyras world. no idea about s3 yet though ofc the mulefa are coming so We'll See how they handle the cg there

-i do think the cg animal animation looks good though. like its not "i believe there is an actual snow leopard in the room" photorealism but not only is that something i do not particularly care about, i think daemons looking a little unreal is actually perfect. they are physical manifestation of human souls and are in-universe immediately distinguishable from identical animals of the same species... it works

-s2 in general is a significant improvement on s1 not just in the daemons but in the overall pacing and character exploration imo; which is surprising considering its the season cut short from covid lockdown; and also a bit sad since, again, most of what i remember is from the first book and thus many of my fondest memories of the books were things that were either skimmed over in the first season or cut out entirely </3 ALAS.

-iorek and iofurs fight didnt go as hard as it shouldve </3 they didnt even show iorek ripping iofur's jaw off... he was killed in the blurry bg behind lyra. how are you gonna let the 2007 pg-13 movie kick more ass at talking armored polar bears fighting to the death

-am i crazy or is the alethiometer just not used much in the tv series compared to the book... maybe the movie+games clouded my memory, or maybe its the fact that in the show there's rarely any elaboration as to what the symbols could mean or which symbols lyra is using for her questions/what she's interpreting. almost every scene of it being used blurs together and i wouldnt be shocked if some show-only fans think its a stupid plot device with no rhyme or reason behind the symbols, when imo i think you can at least roughly intuit many of the meanings, though obviously not to the extent that a reader could interpret full accurate sentences

-some really really strong casting for like 99% of the roles in this show, i love most of the changes theyve made from the books wrt to casting decisions, my only significant gripe is of course. why did you have to do lee scorseby like that. i loved lee a lot. i remembered him so fondly. why'd you have to give lin manuel miranda that one. just absolutely devastating to me personally (though the choice to have andrew scott as will's father was v funny to me because lin manuel miranda and moriarty from bbc sherlock hanging out together for a huge chunk of s2 has to have appealed massively to a very particular subset of tumblrina)

-again i read these books when i was 10 so the concept of "characters can be bad people but also really well written and enjoyable to spectate" hadnt really settled in my mind yet so i really have no idea if this fully applies to the book version of her but oh my godddd i love mrs coulter in this series. yes she kidnaps children and rips their souls apart from them yes she drugs her own daughter and holds her captive yes she murders people indiscriminately without remorse etc. and she rules <3

-similarly the changes theyve made to the golden monkey are Fascinating...

-i loved lyra and pan with my whole heart when i was her age and it is really :,) to now be fully an adult and see her again. waughh. i love how almost everyone she meets loves her too (i will not stand for ppl watering it down to found family fanfiction tropes. but She Is So Loved.)

-i think its cool that boreal went from being a fairly minor character in the books to one of the main antagonists for a hot minute. he was fun :)

-i dont remember having strong feelings about mary malone as a kid but i really like her here. i havent gotten to this point in the show yet but im aware they tweaked her backstory to make her a lesbian as well, which is just delightful to me

-will's relationship w/ his mother and particularly the way the book describes her mental illness from will's perspective was so, So important to me as a kid and the thing i remembered best from subtle knife, and i wish the show had dwelled on it a liiiittle more? in particular, the bit where will thinks about when he first realized something was up and his mother wasnt just playing a "game" with him and was actually terrified of a nonexistent threat, when he was seven and they were shopping for groceries, and how he realized then and there that he needed to take care of her and protect her- that stuck w/ me very strongly as a kid and i wish the show had found a way for will to talk about it with lyra, there were a couple points where i thought he was going to bring it up. maybe this season??

fun fact i started writing this post at like 10 last night. i gotta put a stop this rn

#very long and rambly post. apologies #txt

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the-technicolor-whiscash · 7 months ago

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Oh yeah if you’re curious what I did to get the footage so. I’m gonna start of by saying yes I know it’s in that documentary but screenrecording it from the doc would reduce the quality and I wanted it in high quality so. I have the Spacecraft DVDs Apollo 11 set which has the 16mm video footage which is very rarely seen outside of the odd snippet or two. However the dvd is in a multi-angle format (which used to be used for like, concert recordings and stuff but it is also rarely seen esp nowadays). In order to access the 16mm footage, you have to change the angle. In order to change the angle, you have to have a software or dvd player that can change the angle. VLC won’t let you do it or at least not easily. So I had to find a software that will let you change the angle. I had to download said software and then figure out how to work it and then figure out how to record with it. And my dvd read/writer which is like a $26 dvd player that I had been using to rip dvds all day was now overheating. So I am racing against time to rip this footage before my dvd player just gives the fuck up or damages my dvd.

And I did all this cause my mom wanted some Apollo footage to show her 3rd grade class so I’m like ok time to go above and beyond but also like I wanted the footage too so even though the process was let’s call it not the simplest, I got the fucking footage. And from what I can tell it’s like pretty hard to find online esp with the paired audio (cause I looked online first to see if I could find it instead of having to rip it), like all I could find was lower quality clips without the audio attached outside of that one documentary so like. This is why I do this, to share important historical footage in an easily accessible way.

#the whiscash administration

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hyphypmic · 2 years ago

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Ichiro: Nemu and You Confessed

Anon asked: May i request a nemu and fem s/o both in love with ichiro?

Sorry if it makes uncomfortable i just like the drama😂

HELLO IVE BEEN AWAY THE WAR HAS CALLED ME HAKSJHAJSAK university really is a bitch like junior and senior year man,,, I have a thesis now and like just for a bit of a share, I've been here since senior high school (grade 11 and grade 12) and just,,, being here 4 years later is wow! Anyway, thank you guys for staying esp since I rarely post huhu I'll do my best to write more but again, no promises! Love you all

You couldn't believe what just left Nemu's mouth. What was supposed to be a very relaxing lunch out now had turned to your worst nightmare. Ichiro looked dumbfounded, the spoon of rice never making it to his mouth.

You broke the silence first. You whirled to the younger Aohitsugi sibling. "Why would you say that?! I trusted you!"

"It's not like you were going to tell him. You would have been quiet after I would have confessed to him." Nemu said softly, looking down. "You heard what I said, Y/N." She sighed before repeating the sentence that made your heart drop. "I like him too."

"You-" You put your face in your hands and sighed then leaned back in your chair, defeated. You took your hands away from your face and stared at the ceiling. The big secret was out and you had no idea how to deal with it. "This was not how I wanted to tell him, Nemu."

Nemu looked down some more. "I know, but I was planning to tell him today…, but I knew you have feelings for him so I just needed to be honest."

You couldn't stay mad at her, she was your friend after all. You also understood where she was coming from. Nemu wasn't someone who was going to just give up on what she wants and… you also knew you would have stood away if she did say her feelings. Your friend was right, but this really wasn't what you wanted.

"Um…," Ichiro put down his spoon and pushed his plate forward. He leaned forward on the table with both arms. "I…" He sighed, bowing his head. "Look, I don't know what to say to the both of you. I kinda wanna sort out my feelings first, if that's alright with the both of you?" He looked down at his meal, and you wondered if he was thinking of just taking it home instead. Ichiro looked back at the both of you, his red and green eyes meeting your gazes.

"Nemu." Ichiro said and reached over the table to take her hand. Nemu looked up with a start, her eyes widening. "You are a wonderful friend and one of the people I most trust in the world," He said gently. "But I would like some time to think about my feelings. I care about you deeply…, I'm just not sure if it is in that way. Okay? Give me some time."

Nemu noded quietly. "Okay." She said with a small smile. "I understand."

He looked to you now and also took your hand. "Y/N." He sighed. "We've also been through a lot together and you've helped me out at home with Jiro and Saburo…, but I need to also think about my feelings. I love you both, a lot and I just don't want anything to ruin our friendship. Please give me time."

You nodded. "Yes, Ichiro-kun."

Ichiro smiled at the both of you. He sighed, letting go of your hands. "I guess that ends this lunch?"

You both nodded, and just watched as Ichiro called over the waiter so you can have your meals to go.

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis #hypnosis microphone #hypmic drb #ichiro yamada #buster bros #drabble #slight angst #not really sure if this is angst #im sorry if its bad sksks

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 9 months ago

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Persona 3 Problems: Maiko Birthday Shenanigans!

Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Interesting things going on with Maiko in the fandom. Won't say what but let's just say......jail to that person (and *saves screenshot* At least FeMC fans have ammo to fire back TT0TT)

BUT besides that......welllllll. That post made me realize something. Atlus is inconsistent about her age!

Maybe that's why I thought Maiko was A LOT closer to Ken's age than I originally thought, but the game (iirc OG/FES/3P) actually says she's a 2nd grader. I DO remember P3P stating that, because that's the version I usually play (SHOCKER! in my defense half of it is because it's usually on the go, and the other half is I like seeing differences between the male/female sides....it's also faster). Anyway, it was also the first thing I checked when I did a playthrough, so I'm fairly certain.

Buuuuut according to the wiki (fandom one, I know I know, issues, I'll see what I can do about updating it, but I have to bring ammo/screenshots u_u), she's a Libra (ok so far so good, also Nanako is a Libra, ironically, also Nanako is in 1st grade iirc), and she's.....9. HuH? Wut?

Apparently P3P will list her as 9 years old. Specifically on the TV missing person announcement..... Which I do vaguely recall them mentioning her on the TV, I don't remember the age they mentioned. ;w; So I'll need to double check that.

Anyway this is a problem, because it doesn't make sense/add up, and contradicts the line about being a 2nd grader (fun fact: if you clicked the link above, Maiko is born the same year as Futaba, but Futaba should be a year ahead of her....tho iirc P5S states Futaba's been held back a year? So now they are ironically in the same grade? TT0TT). 1st graders in Japan are generally 6->7, and 2nd graders are 7->8, 3rd 8->9, 4th 9->10, 5th 10->11 and so on! So Maiko can't be a 2nd grader and 9 unless she was held back....which the OG text doesn't indicate. But if she WAS 9, she'd be either a 3rd or 4th grader (Ken is 5th grade). I'd have to check, but I coulda sworn she was much smaller than Ken (who would only be a grade or 2 above her).

Fun fact she goes missing (assuming the websites are correct) around 10/21. I'd have to look at the timing of the news broadcast, but that would mean she we missing 1) a little while after her birthday (between a few weeks to literally yesterday) , 2) it was on her birthday (;w;), 3) it was the day before her birthday (;w;)

Because of that ONE day, it's hard to tell if it's saying she JUST turned 9, or is actually about to turn 10.

Her birthday, if the 2nd grader thing is correct (along with the Libra thing), she'd be turning 8 in 2009. So 2009-8=2001! So her birthday should be c. September 23-October 22, 2001 (she'd be 14->15 in P5 but 15 in P5S. Futaba for ref turned 15 before P5 started and turned 16 near the end of P5, and is 16 in P5S)

If the 3rd grade theory is correct, the the birthday would be: c. September 23-October 22, 2000 (this would put her in the same year as Futaba, assuming Futaba didn't drop out originally)

If the 4th grade theory is correct (assuming she hadn't had her birthday): September 23-October 22, 1999 (this would put her in the same year as P5MC/Anne/Ryu/Yusuke, for reference on Ken, Ken is in the same grade as Goro/Mako/Haru).

The fandom Wiki seems to be going for the latter two (if you read the hovered note).

Personally? I think P3P just.......made a mistake (people like the bring up "Atlus can't math" a lot esp with that one thing with P4, so it's not that far fetched). That OR (which I think is funnier and more tragic TT0TT). Her parents reported her age wrong. ajskdflj;f

I mean, they are in the middle of (or just finished their) divorce. They are both a taaaaaad bit neglectful since they don't realize Maiko's been hanging out with a high schooler for so long (as well as planning to run away). So I wouldn't be surprised if they fucked up the reporting lkajfdsljfaka So it might not be a Persona 3 (Portable) Problem, but a .....Persona Parent problem! ;D

ANYWAY, this is something I wanna keep an eye out when I replay the P3 games (along side when I'm playing P3R). So expect a sequel post.

#that person HAS to be a troll #yet ppl are feeding him #silly talks #persona problems #persona 3 problems #specifically might be a ....P3P^2 one :3c #cause persona 3 portable and...persona 3 problem are...both P3P....nvm TT0TT u_u

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alma-amentet · 1 year ago

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I’ve been tagged by @katastronoot @sheirukitriesfandom and @dirty-bosmer (thank you all! 💖)

This was sitting in my drafts for a while, just forgot to post...

Not tagging anyone ‘cause idk who hasn’t done it yes... Feel free to take if you feel like!

1. are you named after anyone?

Grandma originally named me after her little sister who died in early childhood. She was babysitting and blamed herself for that accident.

But that was too dull, widespread, and didn’t felt mine, so my nomatophobia started progressing. Finally I renamed myself after Fairytopia Barbie. Best friend started calling me Elina in 2008, when I was pretty much into Barbie movies fandom. It stuck, I started telling everyone it was my actual name, even at work. Then finally changed it legally and never regretted.

Barbie movies is everything, yeah.

2. when was the last time you cried?

One weekend ago.

3. do you have kids?

Nope, and it’s most probable I won’t. Already in my 30s, didn’t start wanting/regretting yet. I like kids, kids are like flowers, but let them bloom in someone else’s garden.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Not really. Being neurodivergent, I have troubles with a sense of humour in general. Many things feel more offensive than funny to me, and if I try it myself, it might be rather insulting than funny... So only with closer friends, I guess.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

Drinking games, lol.

Not a fan of sports and competitions. I prefer fitness\wellness, where you don’t have to compete or show off. Never liked team games as well. As a kid, I enjoyed tennis or badminton a bit, but again, just for fun.

I do yoga a bit, would like to excercise more though.

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

Style, clothing, hair, accessories. Whether they have some fandom\music\etc merch on. This way I might identify them as the ones like me, the ones worth talking to - at first sight.

I can be generally cautious, even hostile, about people, esp males and elders. And in general, I prefer meeting people online or in some safe spaces / meetups where everyone shares some interests/hobbies/fandoms. It’s easier for me.

7. eye color?

blue gray. and I do wear color lenses - need them to see things anyway, so why not have fun with colors? Last year I had red ones and wore them casually.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Happy and clever endings that give you food for thought and make you feel feelings - I’ve been a long time Pixar fan, you know.

There was time I’ve been into mystic horrors, some years ago, but now I’m old and tired even for them. LIfe is a dystopia by itself, I need more kind stuff.

(don’t watch movies much these days, I prefer games).

9. any special talents?

Some say I am outstanding and bold,and that I have great creative potential, and that I inspire some people just by being myself... IDK.

10. where were you born?

a city in the mountains

11. what are your hobbies?

I’m a a self-taught seamstress, I’ve been sewing most of my life (because I always loved creating things myself & from my very childhood wanted some unusual clothes that couldn’t be purchased in regular stores). At times, I took comissions, then were 5 years of cosplaying.

I’m into corsetry (waist-training and making corsets myself).

And drawing, of course.

12. do you have any pets?

Nope. Used to have an aquarium in the past.

13. how tall are you?

5’7″ (170 cm)

14. fave subject in school?

Biology (just in elem and mid, then it became too complex), english.

I was also one of the best in literature, but I didn’t like it at all. Just figured out how to get exc grades and did it for the sake of being praised.

15. dream job?

Illustrator, artist.

#ask game #tag game #personal #alma.txt

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ruthserbel · 1 year ago

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When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! then, send to your last ten people in your notifs (anonymously). you never know who might benefit from spreading positivity. thank you, you're the best!

Thanks, anon! :) This one took me a while to think about, but here is a list (under a read more, because it's hella long lol)

Music - I spent from grade 7-12 playing instruments (flute, clarinet, guitar, minimal piano, tried sax, french horn, trumpet, etc). Although my music teacher from grade 10-12 was my least favorite (he was fine at the start, but about a month in he told our choir/band (I was in both) we were not ready for tournaments, which caused a lot of people to leave because everyone enjoyed the trip and practising the pieces and such - it really killed the whole music department. he also picked favorites, which is fine, if it wasn't the caddy af girls who if i tried to bring anything up to I would get attitude, and I genuinely hated talking to them. Then come grade 11/12 he basically turned his back on instrumental music, and focused on doing stage plays instead - which I was not interested in because that would mean solos... I am someone who when singing matches the other person... I would suck at solos, so not my thing). I still really enjoy(ed) music besides all of that. And I still do. I'm looking to buy a piano and teach myself, and I want to look for adult band practices that meet in my city. I would love to start playing again. Flute or clarinet.

Art - although I suck at it, I still love it. I try my best, and I love learning new things (like how to color eyes, or hair, etc.)

Baking - I don't do it often, but I love to bake. My sister after I moved out got me a stand mixer because I really wanted one. I've used it several times, and it was great. I want to bake more, because I really do like it. I just hate the clean up lol

My cat - although she annoys the hell out of me sometimes, I do love her, and she makes me happy. She often times won't come up to me, but when she does, it makes me happy for a bit, then she pushes my limits and tries to get on my laptop or whatever I'm doing (reading, watching things on my phone, typing, etc) and will drive me up a wall because I can't get her to just stay put.

Lastly, games - it is something my boyfriend and I get to do together, which is great, although sometimes he gets really competitive, which isn't fun (esp. when playing LoL, and I die once, then he ends up blaming some things on me, but it's like whatever). We've really taken to BG3 lately, which is nice because we get to do DND style gaming. :)

#{asks} nonnie #{asks}

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clemencetaught · 2 years ago

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🍁 + what is professor patrick's grading style? uwu does he use a rubric? does he leave comments in the margins? is he strict about the 11:59 p.m. submission deadline, or does he give a little more leeway? if he's ever done online lectures, is he savvy with virtual meetings, or is he the "can u guys hear me" (no professor ur mic is muted,,,) kind of instructor?

*insert leaf puzzle here* ( leafy meta meme w/ @interxstitial )

send 🍁 + any question you’ve been curious to know about my muse(s)!

i'm assuming this is for verse one, so i'll put this question in that verse <3

you know those professors who genuinely love what they teach and want to spread that love to their students to the point that grades aren't nearly as important to him? yeah, so that's patrick. unfortunately, he has to give grades as mandated by the school so here we are :/ that being said, i would when he's grading while he is giving students feedback on their work when he grading he's not using a rubric as a basis so much as he's evaluating how much the student has grown overtime in his class. every student in this manner is coming from a different point so he always keeps this in mind when giving grades and feedback. one of the biggest things he wants his students to come away with is the ability to write well but also read well and in order to do that, students have to be able to make mistakes....what he'll usually do is give a preliminary grade when a paper is turned in, and then a week later give the papers back w/ feedback so students can make revisions and get a better grade.

i would say the only thing that he's strict is about is the deadline- of course if it is an emergency that would make a student unable to turn in their paper, he'll give a grace period, but for the most part, i do think patrick has a very good bullshit detector ( thanks hyuk ) so if he gets the sense that a student is trying to take advantage of him, he will knock them down a peg or two. i think the fact that at every point in his class from the feedback to the office hours to even the chance to revise papers, he gives students the chance to improve their grade and thereby their writing, he can be strict on the deadline bc he has other priorities he needs to juggle too- a student's inability or unwillingness to respect his time is not going to be a reason his life is thrown out of wack.

( that and all papers must be turned in double-spaced with times new roman font size 12- a student once turned in their paper in comic sans and while he didn't take points off for that, patrick would really prefer not to go through that painful experience again. )

that being said, i do think when he was starting out, he was a tad bit too lenient with his students esp. because he knows what it's like to be a student and therefore doesn't want his class to be too stressful on them when they already have like 4 others to juggle too...however, he found being too lenient often resulted in him having much less time to himself and so boundaries are very necessary- they're here to learn and grow, not to coast by after all.

#interxstitial #the gentleman ( headcanons. )#believe in a precious world ( headcanons. )#a question of justice ( answered. )#thank you for this one too <3 #lmao i think i put my own thoughts on teaching in there for a hot second to-

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muwur · 4 years ago

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Since requests were open I was wondering if I could request father headcanons for iwai + ushi + atsumu 🥺 btw your writing is vv tasty n I can’t wait to see you write more !! Keep up the good work n stay safe !!

haikyuu daddee headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for iwaizumi, ushijima, and atsumu

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.4k words

a/n: omg u called my writing taSTY Dx i cri tySM 💞 that is a high compliment for me AHAHAHAH ILY and ty for the request!

also my lovelies i m back i m sry i was gone so long feojfe i miss yall <3 here u go enjoi, this was fun to write lmk if yall want more characetrs AHAHA

current listen: accidentally in love by sHREK AAHAH jkjk i mean counting crows, they cant take that away from me by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong, love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna

requests: open!

iwaizumi

✧ prePARED daddy

✧ picked up on this parenting thing p fast, also does a lot of research so he’s ready to face any situation

✧ teaches his kids how to behave n respect others

✧ also makes sure they know not to talk to strangers and teaches them some self defense

✧ be warned these kids are packing a surprise can of whOOP ASS,, dont fuck w them,, plus u wouldnt want buff daddee iwa on ur tail

✧ honestly his kids would be ANGELS ,,, n thats cuz he treats them all so w e l l

✧ mans is ATTENTIVE. he asks his kids about their days, their interests, and encourages discussion about their fEELINGS 🥺

✧ always offers them really valuable and light-hearted advice

✧ and gives them the love and transparency we all wanted but never had--

✧ however his kids are easily (n negatively) influenced esp when uncle oikawa comes to visit--

✧ but mostly bc iwa gets annoyed and slips out a lot of curse words and a “shittykawa” and then his kids started calling oikawa that and now it’s ingrained in them forever fjoefefgfvi (*distant phlattykawa crying noises*)

✧ gives them LOTS of head pats and ruffles as signs of affection

✧ PACKS THEIR SCHOOL LUNCHES and ensures they eat a balanced meal

✧ attends all their games/events,, will get a bit rowdy hype them up

✧ def lets his kids sleep with him when they’re having a bad night or woke up scared from a nightmare (and waits for them to fall asleep before going to sleep himself fojref)

✧ when they were babies he usually succeeded to get them to stop crying by pulling funny faces, showing them their favorite cartoons, or humming a lullaby

✧ when they get older,,, u bet iwa would be suPER protective esp when their kids start being iNtErEsTeD in other people

✧ you: “iwaizumi, they seem like a really nice kid, though”

✧ iwa: *sitting with you in the car, across the street from the ice cream parlor your child said they were at, and spying from the window* “you can’t trust everyone, of course they seem ‘nice,’ they just want our approval”

✧ definitely did not interrupt his child’s potential first kiss at their house’s doorstep by slamMINg the door open “sUDDENLY” cuz he “hEard TheIR vOicEs and THougHt TO lET them In”

✧ effectively traumatized both kids

✧ tho he felt bad after n u made him go apologize so he did (and he was forgiven, only if he agreed to never spy on them again--)

✧ doesn’t stop him from scrutinizing every person yalls kid introduces to you tho

✧ overall a super supportive dad, 11/10

ushijima

✧ ok dEF does not know much about parenting ,, at first

✧ stared at his child like ???nani when you both changed their first diaper

✧ also had plenty of staring contests with his babies ,,, called it bonding

✧ was curious and tasted baby food once,,, immediately regretted it

✧ once put a volleyball next to his child, who attempted to bite it, and took it as a sign that they liked it

✧ after sum time n practice, his mind becomes split between “how to volleyball” and “how to dad”

✧ catch him in the kitchen wearing an apron and whipping up his kids’ favorite smiley face pancakes 😤😤

✧ has an amazing ability to get his kids to stop crying, does really simple things like give them their favorite toy or place a gentle hand on their hand or attend to their needs (mans can tell if they want food or needa poop) and they calm down immediately

✧ carried them on his shoulders once and now they never stop asking him for shoulder rides (not that he minds anyway)

✧ if theres two kids he can probs carry one on each shoulder cuz cmon ,,, have u seen this man

✧ always goes to every performance/game/event his child takes part in

✧ man smiles so soft™ when he goes to the 1st grade play and sees his kid’s name in the program next to their role as “townsperson b” (next year, they upgraded to “singing carrot” in a play about the food pyramid)

✧ if his kid ends up enjoying volleyball, he will teach them e v e r y t h i n g they need to know

✧ but is overall super supportive of anything else his child pursues and doesn’t push anything onto them, would rather let them choose what they want to do

✧ had n o idea what to do when his kid asked him about the birds n the bees asfghkl

✧ couldnt sleep one night thinking about it and just randomly asks you while yall laying in bed in the dARk like “so our child asked me how babies are made and I told them they came from watermelon seeds” (you: 👁️👄👁️ “come again”)

✧ you: *at the grocery store with your child*

✧ child: *hands you watermelon* “I want a little brother!”

✧ you: “haha of course honey” 👁️👄👁️ what do i do (*later to ushijima* “duhfojhguf we needa get another baby i promised our child a younger brother fohurof” ; ushi: “wat” ; you: “itS YOUR FAULT”)

✧ yall eventually tell them not every watermelon can produce babies only really special ones that are really hard to get fhuoefkfotfi theyre not ready for the truth

✧ another great daddee, we stan

atsumu

✧ knew parenting was stressful esp with bABieS but was like eh it cant be that bad right

✧ think again

✧ g o o d b y e s l e e p

✧ develops phat bags under his eyes, responds with a weak “aha im fine just that parenting life and the kids ykNOW” whenever his teammates ask if he’s oKAY

✧ tried to tempt his kids to eat their mush baby food by trying it himself, nearly gagged but was able to say “eughh yuMM”

✧ loves to lift them high up in the air, even throws them up a little and nearly drops them (yall almost died from feAR but babie was having so much fun,,, yall agreed to be just a bit more careful)

✧ rlly bad at getting them to stop crying, gets very stressed when he’s exhausted every option he can think of then calls you over for some help/advice (you: *immediately calms them down* ; ratsumu: “how--”)

✧ calls up osamu a lot to ask him how to make food ,, then simps whenever his twin brother comes over and the kids are in love with this man and his cooking (”dad why cant you make stuff as yummy as this”)

✧ very affectionate with his kids, gives them lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead

✧ plays with them a lot! whether it’s sports, just dance, animal crossing, or UNO, yOU NAME IT WE PLAY IT

✧ also has no mercy when playing competitive video or board games,, has made them cry more than once LOL

✧ so sometimes he toned it down n let them win,, until his kids actually got better and DEMOLISH him every time

✧ is cool with his kids cursing, just as long as they don’t do it in front of their teachers LMAO

✧ plays innocent when he gets a call from school saying his kid was using ‘inappropriate language’ and is like “whaaat? my child? im not even sure where they learned that, maybe check if the other kids in class are saying those things, too--”

✧ reminisces how much nicer his kids were to him when they were younger and all the time they spent together,,, bc now that they reached their tEeNS they want alone time

✧ wants to be B) cool dad so he tries kinda hard, esp in front of their friends but his kid’s just like dad pls dofjrgjigtgro

✧ also very supportive of whatever his kids want to pursue and dedicates time to help them in whatever ways he can (whether that be to help them practice, make sure he can provide transportation, get them supplies, etc)

✧ always playfully competing with you to see who’s the “better” parent (you win by default)

✧ PROTECTIVE dad and will easily intimidate ANYONE who crosses his kids

✧ takes sum adjustment and mental resilience but daddee atsumu perseveres 😤 absolutely loves his kids and would do anything for them

#haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #ushijima x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu daddies #LOL #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi haijime x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #atsumu miya #ratsumu #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu reader insert #requests

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thewhizzyhead · 3 years ago

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HELLO SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED MISFITS AND SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED GRADE 11 (i posted about that musical draft thingy back in march and um yea there have been a lot of changes fjxjf) AND GUESS WHAT DUDES I HAVE MORE MUSICAL CONCEPT SHITS TO RAMBLE ABOUT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO HYPERACTIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THIS CLUSTERFUCK

@ari-is-anxious have fun with this and i wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend this-

+ Kasaysayan (which means History) - this is the 2nd musical concept thingy i made (the first one being Misfits) and yea i started thinking of this went I was 14. I kinda wanted it to tell a story of like the entirety of philippine history as narrated by students and i wanted to kinda emphasize how history has many faces and how many different factors essentially blur our perspective of what we view as the past. I also wanted to like draw parallels between what our ancestors have experienced and what we currently experience esp when it comes to sociopolitical and economic stuffs and I wanted to like correct a lot of misconceptions about ph history and provide more insight and info about ph's past (i.e how centuries of colonialism have affected our current culture and overall social mindset esp in regards to our want for validation from foreigners aka the whole #PinoyPride thing; how even though activism and revolution is like the main reason on as to why the Philippines even exists, it continues to be demonized here; the ideologies of some of our revolutionary heroes and presidents and why some of them are dicks; etc etc). Also I wanted to showcase like um PH music, art, and dance and how that has progressed and also regressed throughout the years (*shakes fist at colonizers*) and um YEA YOU CAN SEE WHY I EVENTUALLY AND RATHER QUICKLY DISCONTINUED THIS TJCJSJF THIS IS *NOT* DOABLE AT ALL THSJFHF it could work as a concept album and a one-time performance BUT NOT LIKE A LEGIT PRODUCTION SO YEA FOR NOW IT WILL STAY IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FJXNSJF but yea this idea then led to the next two ideas woo

+ Noli/Fili - started wanting to make this at the start of quarantine so like um march 2020 heck i even made a wholeass word doc for this fjdjdv so it's basically a ph-rock-rap-based musical adaptation of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster) (yes these two novels are like tne national novels here since rizal is our national here and yea these were originally written in Spanish) but the protagonist of El Fili (Simoun) takes charge of telling Noli's story in Act 1 while Noli's protag (Crisostomo Ibarra) takes charge of telling Fili's story in Act 2. Those two books have very different tones and those two characters have um VERY DIFFERENT world views so i thought it would be interesting to tell one's story through the eyes of someone different and yet also the same to provide a lot more insight on how the events in the novels affected these two protags (there is a Good Reason for this and um Filipinos who studied this in 9th and 10th grade know what i'm talking about fhshf if u wanna um know what i'm talking about and don't wanna read the novels (they are very long) i suggest looking up El Filibusterismo and um yea check out Simoun fjsjf). Like for example, there would be times that Noli's narrator (Simoun) (whose general demeanor is like um a lot more cunning and cynical and a lot more resentful of the events that have happened compared to Fili's narrator) would directly question the Noli protag's (Ibarra) actions while Fili's narrator (Ibarra) (he is a lot more um hopeful and peaceful compared to Simoun) often questions how Fili's protag (Simoun) turned into well um a very cynical and cunning person with a taste for revenge (I am trying my hardest to NOT spoil the novels here gjdjf) and yea because the story is set in Spanish Colonial times here, i wanna focus more on the sociopolitical aspects and problems in the novels and how those still remain relevant here, hence the ph-rock-rap-based music. Also I would like to point out that the curriculum here barely like goes into depth about the subject matter of the novels (esp the sociopolitcal parts) and how said subject matter shaped the characters here and HOW EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS DAMN NOVEL IS STILL RELEVANT,,,so um basically the curriculum is currently missing the entire point of the novels since Rizal wrote these two with the intent to provide socioecononic and political commentary on the pure shit that many of the Filipinos experienced under Spanish colonial rule,,,SO THIS THINGY IS BASICALLY MY MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CURRICULUM AND ESSENTIALLY MY ATTEMPT TO SHOW MORE OF THE NOVELS COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US FJJSJFV this is gonna be a nightmare to write tho cause wow those novels are jampacked

+ Patron - if this ever becomes a thing, I will consider it the greatest thing i'll ever write gjcjdbc I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE A THINGY AAAA so the plot is barebones atm but it's basically about journalism and activism here in the Philippines (and how both can get you killed fjjsjf i'm not kidding these two can legit get you killed wah redtagging sucks shit and the anti terror law can suck even more shit) and how the youth are expected to be purveyors of the country's advancement and improvement despite the fact that our voices are oftentimes dismissed and even permanently silenced when what we say goes against what those in power want us to say,,,those this is basically Misfit's spiritual successor fjxjdjf both of those musicals share similar themes fjxns so yea expect me ranting about a lot of political stuff here and a lot of talking about the ideologies of past and present politics and revolutions and how those affect the masses and how the masses can shape them in return. There will also be talk on how journalism's role in shaping society and how proper dissemination of information and lack thereof can affect people's mindsets aND HOW JOURNALISM IS OFTENTIMES MANIPULATED TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S MINDSETS (STUDENT JOURNALIST AND ASPIRING PROFESSIONAL JOURNALIST'S RANTS GO BRRRRR YEA I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT).

Oh and also this musical is heavily inspired by both the noli and el fili novels and by spring awakening (Everything I Write Will Be Inspired By Spring Awakening dbjxd) in a sense that Act 1's active protagonist (who then becomes Act 2's passive protag) is named Elias and is based on both Elias from Rizal's novels and on Melchior Gabor (which is funny cause rizal's elias is NOTHING LIKE MELCHIOR GABOR SO UM LOOK IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO EXPLAIN JUST UM YEA IT'S MESSY) while the passive protagonist (who becomes the active protag by the end of act 1 and throughout the entire 2nd act) is named Cris Ibarra and is based on Moritz Stiefel and Rizal's Ibarra (more specifically um Rizal's Ibarra's growth into a very different character throughout the events of the two novels).

ALSOOO there is this one concept that made me really REAALLY want to make Patron an actual thingy and that is the existence of um Shadows in the show. Inspired by the voices in Deaf West Speing Awakening, these Shadows can always be found lurking on stage alongside their respective characters like um if Elias is in a scene, his shadow can also be found on stage somewhere. I kinda want them to like represent the characters' innermost thoughts and the other parts of themselves the characters' would like to hide through how the Shadows act on stage and um yea choreography gjsjf Patron is porbably gonna be very dance heavy so um yea it's a bit hard to explain so i'll just point to Alex Boniello and Daniel Durant's Moritz fjxjjf i kinda want it to be like that. The Shadows would be part of the show's ensemble and um yea lots of dancing and prop moving woo also at times they would be singing for the character they are assigned to like um while Elias would be in the middle of doing something on stage, his Shadow would be the one singing in his stead and when his Shadow sings, that's when the character becomes the most vulnerable to the audience because the Shadows often expose their characters' thoughts and worries to the audience that the characters themselves wouldn't really express. So like um the Shadows address the audience a lot gjxjsjd except for one aka Ibarra's Shadow. Instead of addressing the audience, Ibarra's shadow addresses IBARRA directly, often questioning Ibarra's actions (especially their hesitance in Act 1). ig ibarra's shadow is rather representative of what Ibarra would turn into in Act 2 when they take over as the Active protag. But um Ibarra's shadow still questions Ibarra frequently esp in regards to their risky actions so um yea Ibarra's shadow is kinda like the Fates the hadestown wherein they serve to sow doubt but over here Ibarra's shadow is meant to symbolize how insecure they feel in regards to their decisions which well, as the protag, make and break the show. Also um yea the rest of the characters' shadows also start addressing their characters more while the characters themselves start addressing the audience more so woo switcheroo! Also the dynamic that the characters have with each other is similar to the dynamics between the kids in Spring Awakening wherein they are just kids (well in this cause young adults aged 18-20) trying to figure out life in general and all that so woo

(also I would like to note that I really want Ibarra's role to be open to all genders in order to like make a statement that anyone can grow into the character Ibarra becomes throughout Patron but rn hmm i'm still thinking about how that will play out especially given that I kinda wanted Patron's Ibarra to have two love interests here aka Elias and Clara (kiiiiinda based on Maria Clara aka Ibarra's actual love interest from Rizal's novels but um YEA THERE ARE A LOT OF DEVIATIONS GJXSF) but tbh i'm still figuring out a way to make Clara have a much larger role here in terms of pushing the plot cause rn the Elias and Ibarra dynamic have an advantage since um active-passive protagonist switcheroo so I'm kinda thinking of a way to make Clara a secret 3rd protag that is both an active and a passive one? I dunno fjsjd honestly i'm still trying to figure out what Maria Clara represents in the novels cause I know for certain that Rizal did not write her to be a mere demure love interest so um yea WORK IN PROGRESS AND UM ALL IN ALL IBARRA CAN BE PLAYED BY ANY AND ALL GENDERS AND IBARRA IS PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT THEM TO BE GJSJJF)

+ Grade 12 - OKI SO LIKE I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BACK IN MARCH BUT UM I'VE CHANGED SOME STUFF GJXJJD so anyways Grade 12 is well um designed to be a campy-please-don't-take-this-seriously-this-is-just-for-laughs-and-gags musical about 12th graders (i changed the grade to raise the stakes) that makes fun of Filipino TV tropes esp when related to teenagers while also providing a lit more insight on ad to what teenagers go through on a daily basis in terms of trying to grow into the person they want themselves to be while also trying to change to adapt to a world that more often that not goes against them. So yea it's not as heavy as the other musicals, heck I designed this after Preston Max Allen's Carrie 2 musical (dude check it out it has jenny rose baker and it's gold) so woo funsies but i also like this to mean something. Oh and also this is basically me ranting about Everything Wrong In The Philippine Education System (how it more often than not is really detrimental to the students' personal wellbeings through constant overwork and disregard of physical, mental and emotional health issues, its accessibility issues esp the issues experiences by those of the poorer sectors, the um very outdated info at times, how the system perpetuates classism and a shit ton of very detrimental social hierarchy bullshits esp through the implementation of the star sections (speaking as someone who's been in the "lower" sections and has also been in the star sections, I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT THIS ONE OH BOY FUN FACT I WANTED TO MAKE AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON THIS BUT MY 10TH GRADE TEACHER WOULDN'T LET ME) etc etc) plot is mainly barebones atm but um yea here are some of the updates to the characters: Kyla (formerly named Kate), Noel and Ella haven't changed that much but um I've decided to give the Halos Lagi Nalang number to Kyla and Max (nonbinary student that serves as a foil to Kyla in which Max is constantly being denied opportunities that they want while Kyla constantly refuses opportunities that Max wants; also yea i'll be talking about stories that trans and nonbinary students have experienced in both of my high schools through Max cause i really wanna bring attention to how the trans and nonbinary community is really being shat on despite the um sliiight improvement in the way schools treat the (cisgender) members of the lgbtq+ community; also they are just as ambitious as Ella (i envision her to be like um Draft Eva + Riley jfhdf) um yea major plot pusher woo I'd compare them to Draft Eva + Reese but um I Sincerely And Solemnly Promise To Not Screw Them Over In Act 2 fjjxfj) instead because they will be the ones with queerness being a much bigger factor to their individual plotlines compared to Noel and Ella.

The other main characters are um Marco (typical jock dude who's actually one of the more philosophical and introspective characters in the show; i want to like um highlight the whole sports scholarships debacle, how stereotypes can affect how people are treated in real life and also touch on the machismo culture that's um really being enforced here esp with him being an athlete and all; also he's really good friends with Max and through that friendship he learns that him slightly questioning his sexuality is a good thing so yea), Ruben & Lexi (i don't have that much planned for them atm because woo barebones plot but i do imagine them to be initially framed as the more antagonistic characters and have that like stereotype be taken apart as the show goes on esp considering that both are in the "lower sections" and are um more prone to stereotyping) aND A NARRATOR CHARACTER HMMM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE GJXJD oki but this Narrator (can be played by any gender as long as the actor IS VERY FUNNY LIKE COMEDIC TIMING IS A *MUST*) is based on the Narrator in PMA's Carrie 2 but I also want the narrator to be like um more crucial to the plot as the story progresses esp as they interact with both the audience and the characters a lot more so like um it's a bit hard to describe their exact role here because um BAREBONES PLOT FJXJD but altho they can't directly affect the story they are telling (cause so far my plan for them is like um they were a former classmate of 7/8 of the characters here but unfortunately they died due to a car accident), they can and do indeed influence the characters in it and all of the characters (except Kyla) know who they are (especially Ruben) so um yea. Also the solo I have planned for them is called Live On (which is um yea a spin off of Move On fjxjd) and through them, I plan to explore the tragedy of unexpected deaths and what happens to those left behind (this will be based on observations and accounts from many of my former schoolmates) and how many have yet to move on and how they choose to live on despite of that because they know that's what their former classmate, schoolmate, and loved on would've wanted.

SO OBVIOUSLY I OWE GRADE 12 TO SIR PRESTON MAX ALLEN GJXJFJD THANK YOU PMA FOR ONCE AGAIN INFLUENCING MY WORK WOO

+ Concepts - oki so this is the only musical so far that i wanna write solely in English nfjsj so this is inspired by Fun Home in which there are like versions of characters in different ages right? Over here there are 2 versions of 6 characters: the 17-18 year old ones, and the 27-28 year old ones. Through them, this musical will explore two main things: (1) the sad and depressing reality of having to give up one's artistic dreams and passions for the sake of practicality and (2) choosing to take a leap of faith and try to grasp on to whatever chances one may have left to live a life that means more than just making ends meet. Act 1 has the teenagers focus on Point 2 while the adults focus on Point 1; Act 2 has the teenagers focus on Point 1 while the adults end up focusing on Act 2. Once again, um barebones plot with even more barebones characters (heck i dont even have NAMES for them gnxnd) but i think it'll be pretty cool to elaborate upon the shitty circumstances here in the ph when it comes to artistic pursuits and how most of the kids I know are terrified of growing up because they don't want to give up dreaming even though that they know that they have to wake up. I also think it'll be cool to point out thay even though that yea situations like these suck, it'll never ever be too late to pick up the pieces and try again cause at the end of the day, life only ends when you say it will end: there will always be chances, you just need to be gutsy enough to grasp them. Also um yea I originally planned to post like a shit ton of poems this month that would basically be the lyrics of the songs that would go into this musical bUT I'M LAZY SO I'M THROWING AWAY THE POSTING SCHEDULE FJXJSJD anyways here r 2 of the poems/songs that i wanna make for this:

+ In 10 Years - a duet between one of the teenagers and their adult counterpart which is um basically the teen singing their optimistic yet really in-depth and mature perspective on chasing Point 2 while the adult sings about Point 1, wishing that they could tell their teen self about how disappointed they will be; i imagine this to be um kinda like the first version of Dear Theodosia but um more intense maybe fjdjf

+ Run - a duet between two teens who are best friends where one girl tries to convince the other to run and play with her in the nearby playground AND YES THIS DUET IS VERY FUCKING GAY JDJSJDF this was um originally part of Grade 12 tbh and it was supposed to be sung by Lexi and it was supposed to be about a 9th grade event that i personally was a part of where um 9th grade student researchers at a research seminar at a different freaking university took over the elementary students' playground when the seminar finished (I SHALL TREASURE THAT MEMORY FOREVER) and um yea it was basically about holding on to your childhood while you still can...aND THEN I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE IT GAY JFJSJSF Lexi is still getting that song about the research seminar event tho but um it won't be Run cause Run basically turned into a song that's not only about holding on to what's left of your childhood but also to the people you treasure that you know you have to leave behind sooner or later and um yea the girl that the one girl tries to convince to go to the playground agrees to that and then boom go duet stylized after 21 and Alone Now + I Don't Care by freaking preston max allen once again woo (i promise that this won't be plagiarism gndnd) (also altho the two girls have to go their separate ways by their graduation, they eventually meet again at the end of act 2 so woo hopeful ending for the sapphics

OKI THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FHXHSHD THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG OF A RAMBLE GOOD GOD AAAAA SO UM IF ANYONE ELSE MADE IT TO THE END, I ONCE AGAIN WILL SEND YOU A SHIT TON OF CARBONARA-

#ari i'm so sorry but this is like...so unbelievably long and convoluted tjxjs GOODLUCK #AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS TJXJSF #so moral of the story is: my brain is too hyperactive for my own good #God help me #also God help those who are gonna try to read this fjxjs #so woo more musical concept rambles aaa #move on tw #move on #ask to tag #izzy's rambles and shit

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mermazeablaze · 4 years ago

Text

TW: Parental Abuse

I'm pretty open about my mom. I love her to bits&know she loves me. But she was extremely abusive towards me growing up.

I remember her hitting me as early as 5yrs old-one time she hog-tied me w/a jump rope&kicked me. For breaking a vase w/it.

I wet the bed til I was 6. We were poor&I shared a bed w/my parents. She started locking me in the closet for hours on end or give me ice baths.

When I was 7, I accidentally knocked over her expensive perfume, & she tried to drown me in the bathtub. My dad was home & he intervened. That's when he left her,but he left me w/her because he was a drug addict.

A few months later I told my mom that I missed my dad&she said, "Either you're w/me or against me." Then she called my dad to come take me away, put me on the porch to wait for him in heavy rain w/a trash bag filled w/clothes.

My dad&his fam never beat me,but 'other things' happened. They also left me a 7yr old to my own devices - no food, no money,&no supervision. This went on till I was 10/11.

My mom&now stepdad finally decided to move me&my baby bro in w/them. My mom resumed her abuse. This time she was more mentally&verbally abusive along w/being physical.

At 11 I called CPS on her&regretted it only because my bro ended up w/an abusive foster fam, he was a toddler. My mom regained custody of us.

At 13 I started running away from home. I would either go to wherever my dad was or walk the streets & couch surf. So many things&life experiences happened during this time. Horror stories.

At 16 my mom kicked me out because I started hitting her back. So I crashed w/friends&a bf at the time. I broke up w/bf because he turned out to be a drug addict like my dad. Couldn't stay w/ my mom, convinced her to send me to Job Corp.

This is where I met my best friend & my husband. I didn't finish school there &had to go back to my mom's. I had probation from running away (reckless endangerment charges)&grades were a part of it.

When I was 17 my grades were so bad that it violated my probation & they threatened to throw me in juvy, where cops threatened me in front of my mom, who did nothing. Saying I had weeks to get my grades up or I would be in juvy till I was 18.

I was LITERALLY being punished for being abused. I had no other charges on my record besides breaking curfew. They charged me for running away because my stepdad is wealthy&made me seem like a spoiled brat. The charges were to dissuade me running away.

The abuse at home ramped up. My mom would randomly walk into my room to hit me, pull my hair, spit on me, etc. I tried not to hit her back, I always tried, but one night it got so bad - I punched her in the face & tried to leave, she threatened to call juvy on me.

I stayed because I didn't want to go to juvy. The next day she told me to call any guy who was 18+ I knew up&ask them to marry me. Because marriage is emancipation. So I called my husband, bf at the time,& told him what was going on. He said yes, he would marry me.

We've been together 15yrs, but our 14th wedding anniversary is next month. & we have 3 gorgeous daughters together. I'm so lucky it ended up working out for me. I'm so thankful he stepped up&saved me in more ways than one.

My mom started doing better after I got married. She became doting & dependable. At first I was apprehensive, but I could trust her w/my kids. It seemed like a complete 360.

These past few years, now that our girls are old enough to have opinions & beliefs of their own - my mom has become a twisted shell of what she was rising above.

My mom had the girls for a weekend last year & the moment we were out of earshot of my mom, on our way home. They began to regale us w/ my mom telling them they were going to hell, they were 8/10/12 at the time.

How BLM is a terrorist movement & how they should be ashamed of being Mexican & to embrace their White side. How my mom screamed at them & chased them around the house preaching fire & brimstone. & how they described my mom was how my mom treated me minus the hitting.

I called my mom the next day&she denied all of it. My bro confirmed some it, he wasn't there for all of it. I called my aunt who has always been the diplomatic one & she told me: "Because you're gay&not a Christian. You&your whole family are going to hell.

You're their matriarch. Their salvation falls on you&it's your fault." I was floored.

Now I don't know how to repair the relationship I was already attempting to rebuild with my mom. She's an avid Trump supporter & doesn't talk about anything else.

My husband wants me to cut her off completely, but I can't. At the end of the day she's my mom&I love her. But I don't call anymore unless it's important since last year. Because I don't know how to deal w/ the toxicity, so I'm making space to breathe for now.

Sometimes that's all you CAN do. I hope we can at least end up on speaking terms again. She's a cancer survivor w/osteoporosis & muscular dystrophy. Basically she's not in good health&time is precious.

It's okay to love shitty people, esp your fam, but you have to take care of you. It's hard advice to take sometimes.

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