#esp if you dont feel anything wrong with your body anyway

[seiwas]

omg i've never had a medical exam before, at least a comprehensive one< despite being an adult :'>

if you don't mind, could you share the tests recommended to you by your doctors? its a bit confusing in my country, haha. the concept of regular & general body checkups are only for the rich fr fr , third-world country things. i just graduated last year, and didn't have the resources growing up lol

hello nonie!! so sweet of you to trust and ask for my advice! honestly idt i’m very experienced w it either 🥺 i’m still a young adult i think 😭 but i really only ever took comprehensive medicals when i had big life changes! like first attending uni and starting my job! (sometimes for travelling if needed).

i think universities typically do health checks when you first enroll! they’re usually just a chest x-ray and a physical exam. when i first started uni i also took a comprehensive blood test (though this wasn’t required by my school).

when you first enter a job, they usually ask for medicals also. if not, then it’s usually part of insurance/something they’ll pay for you! as far as i know these might also just be: blood test, urinalysis, chest x-ray, and physical exam!

sometimes, some health clinics might offer packages! i’m not sure if that’s the case everywhere, but they’ll usually package a series of tests. i did one last march, and it was just an overall check-up (im not sure what you call it) but they did a comprehensive blood chem, urinalysis, chest x-ray, ultrasound, physical exam, and ecg monitor for me! i think there’s no harm doing checks like these just to see if there’s anything you need to watch out for (especially in your bloodworks!). if everything’s fine then you can just take another one the next year 😊

[kvgehiras]

waaaa i'm sure whatever you have typed up is great!! if you ever decide to post it, i'll look forward to it ♡

cough cough SO UM,,, ik this is oddly specific but i hope you don't mind aha .. a character of your choice with someone who has some important exams coming up soon, maybe?? i've like ... procrastinated like all of my work and slept through the entire few weeks before,, so i'm currently on the brink of eternal sleep (my fault, wholly, really) i don't mind who, just pick your favourite/s!!

thank you in advance!! qwq

hello again anon!! THANK U AAAA i might post it after the current event ends bcs im busy grinding lately lol but i will post it soon so i hope u like it ehe ;; as for ur schedule PLS SLEEP !!!! i do know the feeling off not doing any of ur work nd just resting but sometimes it's ok anon! studying when ur not feeling like it will only feel like a chore nd u probably wont be able to retain any of it. so study when u want to, bcs while exams r important, so r u hehe <3 anyways here r the charas!! wrote a lil scenario for mika, leo, nd rei!! hope u like it <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

KAGEHIRA MIKA

• mika overworks himself alot, mainly bcs he just wants to prove, to himself and others, that he is worthy of being a part of valkyrie

• but he still likes being a lil spoon when yall r cuddling (o˘◡˘o)

• while he is a powerful artist when hes on stage, he just melts when hes in ur arms yk!!!!

• so he doesnt mind it when lately u seem to be slacking off a bit more than usual bcs he gets more cuddles from u !!!!! #mika1stwin

• but when u suddenly stop out of nowhere nd even refuse to come out of ur room at times bcs uve procrastinated ur work too much nd if u do not finish going through ur material then ur doomed to fail nd oh lord-

• "(y/n)?"

• u look up at ur bf nd hes standing beside u- w his stuff in his hands.....?

• "ah ya see.....ya've been lookin' a lil stressed lately so i thought abt.....helpin' u like this! idk what is troublin' ya, but im here to always listen! :D"

• u break into a grin, one mika had missed so much, nd grab his cheeks to plant a kiss on his cheek

• nd still keeping ur hands where they are, u pull away to look at his bright red face

• "thank u mika... ill always be here for u too, ok?"

• nd he quickly nods, scared to meet ur eyes, esp bcs of the close proximity of ur faces rn

• what a lil baby

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

TSUKINAGA LEO

• leo is honestly the last person u want to see when ur trying to finish learning ur material,,,that too in a rush

• like!!!!! u love him u rlly do but this bitch will start doodling abt his inspiration nd all nd ur brain just cant focus yk

• that, nd also that if u dont give him Any attention At All he will literally wither away nd basically refuse to sleep nd WILL stare at u till u give him kissies (nd he alrdy doesnt sleep enough........ sigh)

• so when he wakes up in the middle of the night (the one night u managed to somehow get him to bed) nd doesnt see u in the room a part of him panics

• he quickly calls out for u nd when he hears u respond from the study room, he opens the door to see u slowly turn around from ur chair, tired, shoulders slumped over

• immediately rushing over, leo tightly wraps u in a hug, a hand running through ur hair

• "(Y/N)!!!!!!!!! WHERE WERE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THE ALIENS KIDNAPPED U!!!!?!!???!!!!!!! DONT LEAVE ME AGAINNNNNN ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• "leo it's 2 am.......nd also i didn't leave u, u know? im right here!"

• the exhaustion was very evident in ur voice, so much so that leo pulled away only to squint his eyes at u nd go "r u not ok? u sound tired ...... gasp r u DYING????????? NOOOOO U CANT DIE UR MY INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!"

• "leo thats v sweet nd while yes i Am dying im not leaving u it's ok"

• leo smiles, which turns into a grin, nd then he suddenly gasps again nd oh lord what idea is it this time

• "(y/n)!!!!! how abt i sleep here????????"

• ".....huh?"

• "YEA!!!!!! didn't u leave that room so u wouldn't disturb me?????? but im lonely so......ill just sleep on ur lap then, ok? ok! good nightttt!!!!!!!!"

• nd then he places his head on ur lap, the other half on his body relying on the chair he was previously sitting on for support

• while he isnt wrong abt the disturbance part.....he does look content here.......nd he does feel lonely so ......

• mayb u just gotta learn today what u can wing everything at this point...... it's gonna be ok . probably....?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

SAKUMA REI

• unlike the other two, rei wouldn't even have to guess that ur not doing ok, he would just Know

• nd what does he do to help? flirt w u nd get u to let him teach u obv!

• he Knows it's not rlly teaching, nd so do u, but what can u do when he looks at u w those puppy eyes of his, nd says that he'll do anything nd everything in his power to always help u

• so when he does take in whatever u have to study he..... he realises he's Also bad at this

• good job rei rlly helps out a ton!

• anyways to make up for it, nd also stick w his promise to help u, he tells u to go through the material, nd explain it to him! he heard somewhere that it works bcs it forces u to rlly understand the concept instead of memorising it nd u think it should work

• but oh god how is it supposed to work when rei keeps looking at u w stars in his eyes, nd his hand suddenly grabs urs nd he circles his thumb on the back of ur hand nd IS HE FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STUDY SESSION

• rei playfully quirks an eyebrow when he sees u get flustered nd just . lay ur head on the table w sigh nd just whine

• "REIIIIIIIII I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• he chuckles bcs he does realise what hes doing to u nd honestly he loves ur reactions so he keeps doing it

• "fufufu.....sorry love, i'll be quiet now. go on, do ur thing." (liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur too flirty for a study session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

• tip : never keep him in the same room as u when u have work to do . keeps flirting . too much distraction .

• ratings : 200/10 . the additional 200 points is bcs hes too cute to say no....... god he rlly has u wrapped around his finger huh

[misterbitches]

was v miserable so i rewatched blih

the consensus is that his ex bf is an abuser right even tho the little prince goes a bit diff and i don't love the interpretation (as of rn) as they see fit.

who is the prince or fox? the rose is the narcissistic one who preys off the prince—in the end the prince apologizes just like st exupery to his real wife essentially saying "i just have realized the pain you caused me was part of your way of loving. i should have spent more time appreciating it" idr if i read if st. exupery got back together w/ his wife who was apparently emotionally terrible but he loved her fiercely. for the prince he was willing to go back to justify the "different" love

which is why "the fox and the rose just showed love differently" i really like st. exupery's thoughts and style of writing in french and english and he had a really tranquil mind (and anti-nazism!!! shocking bc france esp at that time) i feel and while TLP is a critique of like growing up too fast, stifling the minds of kids, love, life, mortality. like a kid who goes to make the same mistakes. even if b612 fails to exist he had to go back and find the rose even though that could have made him well...die

we'll see how it goes but i think it would be sad to see his actions justified in any way which i dnt think they will. it's weird, the idea of the rose fills me with a lot more dread as i grow up knowing the relationship with my parents was that codependency and entrapment, that i didnt understand their love, and emotionally immature, non empathetic, toxic people will drain that out of you even with the nicest of intent.

it makes me sad that they (prince, exupery) viewed it that way although the narrator—perhaps the author in a literal sense—seems to know that he's heading first into danger. he's in awe but confused why someone would sacrifice like that esp when they know it will fail

the really beautiful ending about mortality or w/e doesnt have anything to do with this but mostly like a child, like me, you keep going back trying to win their love. it doesnt feel good, something is off, and you know it's wrong and maybe you're going to tell them. they can't leave you they'll love you. you need them.

ANYWAYS it's a v specific parallel but i dont think the prince, exupery, and certainly not jin yu zhen think staying/leaving discredits the love they had but you realize that something isn't right

also i have 1 complaint abt the show well 2 but these are nitpicks but f-r-ankly i think the alienation from the nickel allergy is a bit....i kinda wish they researchedit more../bc i did...and it doesnt work that way thru food lmao like ur body has a systemic reaction via the food which encourages a literal reaction or buildup over time...but....not immediately... 2nd complaint: THE FUCKING SOUND AND EDITING OF THE SOUND. AND EDITING SOMETIMSE TOO. CLEAN UP THE FUCKING SOUND, FADE THAT SHIT, AND MAKE YOUR EDIT TIGHTER SO WE DONT' HAVE TO SEE SOMEONE DOING THE SAME THING TWICE BC OF ANOTHER TAKE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

this has been bugging the fuck out of me there arent many glaring mistakes and i'm fine with certain things i wish had more weight to them IE insecurity via allergy instead of something a bit more substantial or indicative of someone shaming him and making other ppl make fun of bc ya know...abuse but anyways look.

it's clear their editors are fine. but i cannot believe you would allow yourself to not pay attention enough that EYE CAN HEAR THE AUDIO CUTS WITHOUT MY EARPHONES ON. how do you not put a fade in between that? even if it doesn't work you cannot do that it takes you out of the fucking scene

and i'm sorry the action doesnt work if your'e repeatedly not cutting at the right point. these consistent issues show me there's a rush job and people are not fully checking these cuts or are like "LOL NO TIME" for the most part everything else is fine other than some unmotivated techniques but i love it tbh (like a zoom out is a fav even tho they didnt need to do that in the show where yu zhen and shi lei meet up in teh street and t zooms out why did they do that? who knows but i liked it. didnt fit tho)

[hobidreams]

I also recently watched Bridgerton, and I think I liked it (I binged the first 7 episodes and had to force myself through the last so I don’t really remember much) but it definitely had it’s flaws. I like that they didn’t go with the black people are lesser route because even though I think conversations about race are important (as a black woman), sometimes I just wanna live in a little fantasy bubble for a while and pretend everything is fine, but obviously that’s not realistic. I think there was a lack of proper development with some plots and characters which makes sense since it was only 8 episodes and mostly focused on Daphne. I did lose interest towards the end when it was just Simon and Daphne sleeping their way through an unhealthy relationship, but I’d probably watch another season. I also never thought about the bedroom scene in the context of her wrongfully forcing that on Simon. I didn’t like the way either of them handled it (Simon lying and Daphne tricking him and then the stupid trope of thinking her love should fix him), but I was more focused on the message about the lack of proper sex ed for women, and I really like that the show addressed it. I think it’s so stupid and sexist that women are just taught to wait till marriage and that even breathing the wrong way near a man will ruin them and then suddenly they’re thrust into marriage and everyone is like babies?? Like Daphne didn’t even know how children were conceived (I was so confused when Simon kept moving away cuz I was like “that’s not how it works, who directed this” lol), imagine how humiliating it would’ve been if she had asked someone who wasn’t looking out for her and they’d spread that info around. I think abstinence as the only form of sex ed is such a disservice to women because it leaves them vulnerable to so many things (in the best case not knowing their bodies and desires and in the worst falling prey to the terrible intentions of some men). It’s so stupid to tell someone not to have sex without teaching them what it is; when I was younger, I was sold on the wait till marriage stuff and I still did all kinds of things (willingly thank god) because I literally didn’t know anything about sex. It’s so upsetting that guys can just stick it anywhere and get off (and of course the boys will be boys excuse), while women get shamed into celibacy and are made to feel like their desires don’t matter. This rant was so unnecessary and off the rails but I just wanted to get this out (I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, please don’t answer this if I did).

i like how u say you *think* u liked it LOL 🤣🤣 you have a great point there abt the colorblind casting! we all consume TV in different ways & ofc your wanting to not think about race politics is very valid when you just wanna relax. i guess my biggest issue was with the “love conquers all” idea that they threw out there, bc like lol no, love does not erase racism/sexism/etc. but anyway. yes, i agree, there was a decent amount that the show did well, which is why i’ll be watching season 2 too! i like that there was a female focus in general, esp on Pen and the other side characters. i do think it should have been more than 8 episodes. or spaced out better. it felt like we went in slowly and then BOOM it all suddenly tumbled towards an end lmao. 

i haven’t looked into this because my research area is more 18th century English society than 19th, but i’m honestly more than a little surprised that Daphne’s mom wasn’t more explicit about the sex talk?? like there wouldn’t have been formal education about it back then, but securing an heir was TOP PRIORITY. so i feel like maybe the mom (i forgot her name lol) would have at least mentioned something even a BIT more concrete about sex, even if she didn’t go into details like semen, etc. that rain on the plain shit was just ridiculous and awful LOL. i guess its so they could bolster the storyline of having Daphne not know what Simon’s been doing the whole time but 🙄 yeah ok.

i guess in the end im really gonna be watching for the side characters, bc Daphne and Simon definitely became boring lol. no i dont wanna watch softcore porn of them for 10 mins again 🙃 no matter how hot he is hahah. you cannot hide a weak storyline with a cute butt, damn it!!!!!!

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[confessinbouthanson]

“ an open letter to everyone about zac

i just found out about this a few days ago, i have looked at the twitter account that posted screenshots, i have been to the reddit. and i feel like i must still be missing something? nowhere did i see anything like  f**k n******s /jews/trans people ect. i saw a lot of republican support and gun humor…that were posted on his PRIVATE ACCOUNTS .         there WILL be people in this world who do out and do and say things that offend YOU. be an adult and move on. dont stalk, shame, harass or start an online rampage on 3 websites causing the person involved to turn off comments and his wife to straight up leave. who do YOU people think you are? you think you have the right to do that because youve been a ‘fan’ since '97 so your entitled to bash him?   because hes a celebrity? hes  still human he has the right to privacy and makes mistakes.if your so offended they didnt post blm or anything like that guess what alot of other celebrities and bands didnt eaither. some people dont want to post anything about it because its very controversial and last i checked hanson is not about contravercy. zac stated the bitter truth him posting blm will not stop it from happening again, just like celebrities donating money wont stop it. the way this generation of kids are raised will and so will changing laws .thats it.          he didnt makes those memes he reposted them. they have been on the internet forever alot of other people reposted them too. again most of what i saw was gun humor and republican support ect.  not for everyone. some people are die hard republicans and will vote for the candidate   JUST because they want their party to win, does not matter who it is or what they stand for. you cant just say oh hes a trump supporter so hes racist. you sound so ignorant. people want to twist things and make things much bigger than they are.if i missed a post saying n******rs and je*s /tans gays ect suck and need to die or anything along those lines please share id love to see. and all of you saying how can kate put up with him ect and how their first few years were shaky, post proof of that too.  how the hell would you know what goes on behind closed doors?do you live with them?  even if they did have a rough start, every relationship has growing pains esp when you are young.    everyone who is a 'fanson’ should already know   blues, jazz motown-mostly black artists were huge influence on hanson. they have worked with many black aritsts.  just like anyone who is a 'fanson’ should know they  are DEVOUT greek  orthodox christians. ie: very very oldschool stream of Christianity that follows the OLD testiment, basic Christianity follows the new testimate ie: living through the example of jesus , jesus loves everyone gay straight black white ect  look into it, the believes ect. its their right to live that way if thats what they choose to do, alot of religions do look down on gays trans ect and truely belive you will go to hell for it    because the way  the testimate is written and translated. very duggar esq. some strains of that dont even allow the women to wear pants  and you can only eat certain foods on certain days ect.  again if thats his beliefs thats his beliefs.not everyone supports those lifestyles just because the internet popularized them. hell mainstream tv was sill making stereotype jokes about gays up until like 6 years ago. i saw no uproar online about celebrities that follow kabballah (the red bracelets) no half of you dont even know what that REALLY is,  no you just wear the bracelet because its trendy and your fav celeb  wears it.  im  not even gonna sit here and be all like 'well he is from oklahoma and alot of people are biggots there'  because guess what? its like that everywhere. ive lived all over the country and it is like that in small towns and large citys. north south east west. and kate posting things on her ig about not supporting planned parenthood,  well although they do offer many medical services they also preform abortions.  again religious  and republican people have a very big issue with that. and shes from ga so maybe she had family that were confederate soldiers which is why she said save the flag.                               im not saying this is right or not disgusting, im saying there are all kinds of people in the world and you CAN NOT hate, harass, bully ect someone because they dont believe the same stuff you do. it does not matter they are a celebrity   dont even go there with them having a 'responsibility’ the ONLY thing they are responsible for is what made them famous-making music. you guys went out of your way to stalk him and invade his privacy, you had a certain image of him in your minds and put him on a pedestal and when he proved it to be wrong, now your pissed off. you all need to grow the fuck up. what are you gonna go through life bashing everyone that does not  drop their beliefs for whats socially popular? posting memes does not mean hes a straight up ass in person to people that are black, gay, trans, fat ect. actions speak louder than words. i dont care for the movie american hisotry x  because most of it is very racist and violent, but the MESSAGE of the movie  shows that a person can be involved in a group, live a certain way, believe certain things to the point where the inflict DEATH on someone and tattoo their entire body with racist tattoos,  but then change  their lives and be remorseful once they break free. its like a drug addict. if you hang around the same group of people, do not change your contact info, no matter how hard your desperately want to get sober, you wont. because you need to change your lifestyle . it is absolutely no secret that walker and diana dictate all those kids lives, everything about them, including who they married. the guys and the girls. walker worked with natalies  family member, not directly but they were contacts, they met  they had similar  beliefes, and had $$$$$  kates family also has $$$$$$  so does everyone elce that married into that family . unless your rich and have similar lifestyle you never had a chance girls. youd have to be preapproved by mom and dad. dont you think its odd zac never had a girlfriend that was  the friend of one of his brothers? marrion , kate and another girl who im not even gonna mention because honestly none of you know who she is anyway lol.

it takes all kinds of people in this world. if you like their music you like their music. half the celebrities musicians youlook up to and admire have EXTREMELY different lives behind closed doors and because you dont know about it its fine.  what they do at the end of the day  in private is up to them . just like what you do is up to you are you people prefect? i doubt it.”

[jichew]

kim seunghun♡soulmate!au

a/n: this took….WAY TOO LONG to finish. I apologize if this au is not as cohesive bc I did write it over the span of a few weeks lol. Thank you all for waiting so patiently and feel free to leave any requests as I will be free to write this weekend!!! mwah♡

so,, in this alternate universe exists the soulmate tattoo

yes, i know so creative ;w;

essentially, you are born with the name of your soulmate tattooed somewhere on your body

and you have the absolute pleasure of having the name kim seunghun tattooed in cursive across the expanse of your right hip

spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway,,, you’re kind of asjsdjkSAD

bc seunghun is such a common name??? and you’ve met so many seunghuns???

but NONE of them are your soulmate :((((

you would know,, considering u basically ripped a guys shirt off when he told u that yes, his name was kim seunghun but no, he did not have ur name on his hip

uhh but that’s a story for another day :,)

anyway,,, ur kinda bummed??

and it’s gotten to the point where you’ve almost lost all hope of finding him

。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

but anyway ,, life goes on I guess

SO

you’re yedam’s older sister by about 3 years

( sorry forgot to mention that important detail )

you both go to the same high school!!!

ur a senior and he’s a FRESHIE

obviously,,, hes a BABY（≧∇≦）

so ur super protective of him

and when you find out he’s been hanging out with some ,, QUESTIONABLE individuals at school

mom mode: activated

“dammie who r these kids”

“MOM, we’re part of dance club together!! they’re super nice i promise”

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

u just want your baby to stay safe u know??

so when he asks to invite his friends over to practice

you’re like ( ˘ω˘ )

yedam: (◞‸◟)

you: (　˙-˙　)

sad yedam is a big fat NO in this household

so you have no choice but to agree

and as his unofficial mom, you decide to greet his friends !

“hi, i’m y/n! bang y/n!” ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

and like ,,,, you lowkey feel bad thinking his friends were bad bc most of the guys are pretty chill

like this byounggon kid??

the epitome of looks like he wants to kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll ( ^ω^ )

but when you get to the last dude ,,,

he just kinda ~looks~ at you

and ur not gonna lie … he’s HOT

like he’s only wearing a hoodie ,, but he has silver hoops lined along his ears,, and his hair just messily grazes across his forehead

you internally: *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

uhhhh but also he’s staring u down like he wants to kill u

“i’m hun” he introduces himself coldly

(._.)

he still cute tho

so,,, it’s been a while and yedam has continued to bring his friends over to practice

and you’ve come to grow fond of the boys!!!

esp byounggon :,)))

you guys just click???

except,,,, there’s still a certain blonde haired boy who just doesn’t seem to like u???

like u were walking to ur class the other morning

and you just HAPPENED to see him

so u were like,,, hm let me be a nice person today(＾ｰ^)

so you run up to him and grab his shoulder

“hun!!! what’s up my guy!!” ( ＾∀＾)

honestly,, you went in to this thinking that the only thing hun would do is say hi back???

you: WRONG

he kind of freezes for a second

and you’re like???? u ok bud

he slowly turns around

and his eyes,,, literally pierce into yours

he gingerly takes your hand from its grip on your shoulder, letting it limply fall at your side

and then he slowly walks towards you until your back is pressed against the white brick wall of the hallway, his hands caging you in on either side of your head

slowly, he inches his face towards yours

“stop faking nice to me, we are not and will never be friends”

you internally: hnnngg why does he smell so nice???? is that bath and body works? since when did men shop at bath and body works??(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)

you externally: HMPH how DARE U invade my personal bubble young man i won’t hesitate to FIGHT(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭

and then he walks off

“FUCK YOU TOO HUN!!! I BET THAT’S NOT EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!! I HOPE U THINK ABOUT WHAT U DID WHEN U GO BACK HOME YOUNG MAN” ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

you are a BIG MAD

like??? who does this kid think he is???

you dont really bother talking to him much after that :///

but also ,, you hate yourself bc you’re still so ATTRACTED to him??? and u don’t even know why??? like bad personalities are such a turn off why ,,???

hmph

ANYWAY

so it’s a saturday night ,,

u know what that means…

party @ byounggon’s place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bc what’s a bullet point au w out a party am i right???

basically, gon’s parents were on vacation for the weekend, so he took the chance to have the party of the year

and after the stress of exam season, you’re ready to get SMACKED

lmao i do not support underage drinking kids!

uhhh anyway

this is your first party in a ,, while

so you dress yourself up in a red mini dress and some platform heels and strut your hot ass to gon’s house ;)

by the time you walked up to the house,, it was a full fledged RAGER 😤

so like one second,,, you’re just chilling, shaking your hips to some britney spears

and the next thing you know!! you’re downing your fifth shot of the night

“GON I THIBJK IM GONNA THROW UP”

gon: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

the next thing u know you’re in the bathroom bent over the toilet

(;´д｀)

thankfully,,, you don’t puke

but you do drink atleast five bottles of water and take a power nap on gon’s shoulder

anyway ,,, by the the time you’ve slightly sobered up, you realize your head kinda hurts and the party is still going strong but u promised gon you’d stay to clean up soooo

you end up going upstairs to NAP (ᵔᴥᵔ)

but when you open the door to the guest room at the end of the hall,,,

you just HAPPEN to see hun already there on the bed scrolling through his phone

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

this man rlly just knows how to push ur buttons huh

if you weren’t so tired maybe you would’ve taken the time to appreciate the way his leather jacket complimented his broad shoulders

like not 2 be rude but this bich looked hella good

but also ur tired :///

“what are YOU doing here”

hun finally looks up and notices you standing in the doorway

and he doesn’t say anything for a while

just kinda stares at you

and it takes you a while to realize that he’s lowkey checking you out

you wouldn’t admit it, but the way his eyes glazed over your form made a pit form in your stomach

finally he locks eyes with yours

“what do you mean what am I doing here, what are YOU doing here?”

he smirks and gets off the bed to step closer to you

“i WANTED to take a NAP but you just HAD to take the only room that doesn’t have people FUCKING” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“well it’s not my fault you can’t handle your alcohol”

this BITCH

“can you PLEASE just leave”

“no”

you let out a sigh of frustration and square your hands on your hips

“why do you hate me so much”

“i never said i hated you”

“well the way you act sure makes it seem like you do” you huff

hun cocks his head a little and steps closer to you

suddenly, it seems like the idea of personal space is almost nonexistant

you look up at him

and u notice the way his hooded eyes rest on your lips

and how the air around you both has suddenly gotten heavier

and you feel your body heating up

and you realize that maybe,,, you’re not so tired anymore

“well how about i prove to you that i don’t”

hun’s voice has reached a whisper, his lips only centimeters from yours

and suddenly he’s kissing you

and you’re kissing back

perhaps it’s because you’re not completely sober that you don’t notice the way his touch burns your hip

and if you do, you ignore it

the softness of his lips against yours almost makes you feel drunk again

and the next thing you know, he’s taking off your shirt, hands finding their way to the curve of your waist

as your lips make their way down his neck, you allow yourself to do the same to him

( you wish you didn’t do that )

because as you push his shirtless body against the bed, you can’t help but notice the cursive scrawl lining his right hip

and in that moment, it feels as if you’ve never been more sober in your life

you’re frozen, eyes resting on his hip

and maybe hun, or should we now say seunghun, is not as sober as he seems, considering it takes him a while to track down the path of your eyes

and when he finally does, his heart drops in his chest

he reaches out to grasp some part, any part, of you

but you flinch away

“y/n…. this isn’t what you think it is”

his eyes are pleading you to stay and listen to him

you let out a harsh laugh

“no, no this is EXACTLY what i think it is”

“y/n please don’t -“

and suddenly you’re untangling yourself from the bed sheets, haphazardly throwing your shirt on and slamming the door behind you  

and in that moment you realize that maybe soulmates aren’t as perfect as the world makes them out to be

so the rest of the weekend is spent in your bed,,, wrapped up in ur sheets like a burrito

you don’t really cry much

you’re just ,,, confused

having the idea that your soulmate knew you were his soulmate but never told you, and better yet, acts like he hates you??

(◞‸◟)

yedam: y/n, why have u been laying in bed all day (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

you: ;w;

and as much as dammie wants to talk to you, he has more emotional intelligence than most guys his age (or guys in general tbh)

so he pats your back, makes two bags of popcorn, puts kimi no na wa on his laptop and gets under the covers beside you

it isn’t until the end of the movie when the last of your tears have dried on your face that you look up at him with puffy eyes

“dammie, i found my soulmate”

yedam: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

“it’s not that big of a deal… i don’t think he  wants me anyway”

by the time you reach the end of the sentence, your voice falls into a whisper

perhaps you would like to believe seunghun wanted you

but some things don’t turn out the way we believe

“why would u say that” yedam looks down at you, brows furrowed in worry

“uhh, i mean -“

“WAIT … who even is your soulmate??”

you:👀🍵

“it’s … hun”

“W H A T”

and that, my friends, is how yedam realized u can’t trust people in this world :/

so it’s monday

and as you brush your teeth, you can’t help but feel uneasy knowing that you could possibly see seunghun today

thankfully you don’t

but when it’s finally nighttime and you’re making your way under your covers ,,,

unknown: y/n, open your window

unknown: i’m outside and it’s cold

unknown: this is seunghun btw…

you on the outside: what the FUCK

you on the inside: i’m literally wearing basketball shorts how am i supposed to see my soulmate like this (O_O)

and when you pull back your curtains and open your window, you are met with none other than kim seunghun barreling into your room

“how long were you out there??” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“uhhh maybe an hour or so” m(._.)m

and perhaps it’s the motherly side of you that decides to pull his face down and cup his cheeks in your hands in an attempt to warm him up

and you don’t really notice how close you’ve gotten to him until you look down and realize his lips are only centimeters from yours

but when seunghun’s lips form into a little smirk at your obviously flustered state, you quickly retract your hands

“i’m sorry…”

you don’t really make a move to respond to seunghun, choosing to stare at the floor instead

“I know what i did was stupid … and i should have told you from the start… but i’ve had bad experiences in the past with soulmates and i didn’t know if -“

“that doesn’t matter, you should have just told me that you didn’t want me in the first place instead of making me feel this way”

you’re a bit pissed off now

that this dude thinks he has the right to act like that and then barge into your room??

but when you take the time to look up at him

his eyes have softened

and he moves a step closer to you

“i do want you though”

… “ w h a t “

“then why have you acted so rude to me?? when you obviously knew i was your soulmate from the start, why did you hide it??”

now seunghun is the one looking down at his hands

and he looks so defeated, before he opens his mouth

“i’m scared”

you look up at him, but he’s still looking down at his hands

“my dad rejected my mom when he found out they were soulmates. i don’t think … he wanted to deal with the commitment of having a soulmate. he thought they were stupid. so he rejected her and he went off to do whatever the hell he’s doing right now. he went off and he abandoned my mom with two year old me and we haven’t heard from him since.”

a single tear drops from his eyes

and you move a step closer and wrap your arms around him

he’s frozen for a second but he hugs you back

and you both stay there for a while, you rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down

“i won’t ever leave you seunghun”

he pulls back

and despite his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, he cups your face with his cold finger tips and kisses you

and you kiss him back

[byul-bit-arae]

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever.  Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is–   Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

.

.

Ok but

Ok ok ok 

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART 

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho 

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously 

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS 

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny 

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute 

And how you'd be especially close to mark 

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY 

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that 

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter 

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this 

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

.

.

No really I'm serious.

[foxpunk]

// vent thing, int if u read

been listening to Landslide a lot lately but not in like...the context it was written in?? and more like. applying it to my own struggles, esp regarding abuse n shit. which! probs isnt entirely healthy but my minds stuck on it so hopefully spewiing it all here will get it Out of my mind for now

its a good song for like. growing past something traumatizing. esp when youre very. very young when the trauma starts (n keeps goin).

like. can definitely relate to being scared of changing cause i was forced to build my life around an abuser for most of my life. and not knowing if this Me is Really me or just. something Else something Other. not having anything solid and not really knowing who *i* am cause if you take away what i built myself around wont i just be a shell? if you strip away the fence that the vines grew around, wont they just fall and die? all i know is what im Not n what i Cant be and thats no basis for a healthy identity but thats all ive got aside from longing to be something else. acting on that longing is terrifying but i gotta take the first step if i wanna know the answer right?

and while my reflection being washed away in a landslide is terrifying, and not knowing who or what ill see looking back at me in the mirror every time i look is terrifying, and feeling like im crumbling apart and taking everything around em down with me is terrifying, and having a constantly shifting n fuckt up view of myself/my body due to abuse (on top of like, trans stuff) is terrifying, its also kinda like. it Could be uplifting if i ever took control of that landslide and decided for myself yeah enough w this im starting fresh and like a new layer of snow slowly smoothing out the previous landslide i can heal. maybe

and the whole. “mirror in the sky what is love?” not knowing what love is is!! big oof!! even now that ive surrounded myself with support i Constantly Doubt the love i give and recieve. especially the giving part. just questioning Myself cause what if im so twisted i cant really love? what if i cant give back what i get? what if im doing it wrong, what if im just hurting others, what if its not enough, what if they dont feel appreciated cause i cant love them enough or properly or Whatever the heck. constantly questioning my own ability to love and be loved because i didnt receive actual love for Fucking Decades almost and didnt grow up around a n y healthy relationships What So Ever and its! Wild! its not great!! i dont wanna do that!! i wanna be able to trust when my friends and chosen family and boyfriends tell me they love me! like Actually trust and hold onto that happy feeling it gives me, and not lose it to some!! messed up doubt every time.

and o o f “can the child in my heart rise above?” hoooo boy. wow. yowza. ouch! that line is. real big for childhood abuse. especially cause part of me always feels. Stuck back then. in my earliest memories of my abuse. which. isnt a Lot cause theres Huge gaps in my memory cause Trauma and also cause it started when i was. SuperYoung so memory retention aint great anyways. but. digress. like. can i get past this, can All of me eventually grow past this, can i ever adjust? its so scary to navigate n all so turbulent and it feels like its too much change!! but!! i Want to change and in this case the change would be towards somethng Good so even if its scary to even try i Gotta

anyways!!

if you read all that damn rip ur eyes cause my thought process was not sorted thru At All this is 100% pure vent i just spewed out n didnt stop typing til i finished cause i needed it Out of me, so it makes like, little to no sense to whoevers reading this probs cause it jumps around a fair deal

theres no conclusion to this so yeah, yee haw, bye

[witchysleepingbeauty]

Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is

When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅

when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!

this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(

By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway

the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!

Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world

My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit

so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?

I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying

🫀anon

Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.

Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.

I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.

You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.

[system-architect]

50 Q for Vax... please, I need it

OH BOY vax... i’ve been rping him a lot lately but he still remains a bit of an enigma!! lets see..

Personal

1)      Age? 23! he acts older than his age i think

2)      Gender? like all my other ocs bc i’m very self indulgent, he is a trans guy!

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation? vax can think boys are cute, but he’s never been a very romantically active person. he doesn’t lack a capacity for affection, he’s just always... busy with other stuff? it’s not something he thinks about often. if he’s buzzy around someone it’s probably bc he adores their cybernetics/etc work

4)      Height? probably smth like 3′9″

5)      Race? asura (+ cyborg??)

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc). i’m gonna link The Vax Draw, i’m undecided about whether his hair is naturally full black or if the white stripes are weird pigment loss... PS he has a ton of moles all over, not just on his face :D

7)      Any disabilities? hokay this is a Vax Secret but he has some sort of muscular and/or skeletal disorder i need to research into/get specifics on but the general idea is that he can get very weak and achey and have trouble moving sometimes! he deals with this via another Vax Secret i might talk about sometime

8)      Is there a meaning to their name? in asuran ?? idk i dont think their names have meanings, but irl its a shortened asurafied version of ‘vaccine’ bc i thought it sounded cool

9)      What makes them, them? Odd Question but he’s very shaped by his childhood experiences studying his father’s work and looking up to his dad and he’s very defined by his innate drive to bulldoze towards goals he has and wants to research... he’s a very stubborn and determined person who’s very much an agent For Himself

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives? he is Growed Up but he really wants to keep chasing revolutions in prosthetics/augments/cybernetics.. he wants to help people in ways they couldn’t otherwise be helped (atypical inquest huh)

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)? yes one parent, a single dad! ppl who’ve been watchin my hell rp server stuff will know his name is akka and he’s one of the top prosthetics smiths in the industry and was very private about his work but had a very cutting edge philosophy towards artificial parts and lead some really revolutionary work... dr. akka is a very kind and patient man with a good soul who is a tad weary from the world but he loved his son very much! he and vax had a great bond and vax was always eager to learn about his dad’s life work and his dad was always eager to teach him.. akka is an overall pretty amazing man, it’s a shame he joined the inquest for some reason and now we don’t know his current whereabouts......

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings? he technically has a sibling! maybe more? but he’s never met them... vax is perfectly pleased with being an only child, we’ll have to see how he reacts if he ever meets this one. it’s actually a character y’all are already familiar with.......

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often? nope and nope

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?) vax essentially lives out of his workshop within the sigma-5 prime division laboratory space which is Not a safe place no....... but he loves it... he technically has an apartment somewhere in soren draa that is as much of a junk pile as his workshop whoops (vax is very much a ‘i know where everything is in this chaos. don’t move it’ person...)

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class? i semi-answered this above but he has enough funding via the inquest to do his research projects as well as have a place for himself! i wouldn’t call him upper class probably just kinda middle ish, he keeps himself afloat alright

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great? despite vax’s attachment to akka’s work and vice versa, akka is a very chill guy who never expected vax to live up to it or anything like that.. he just thought it was great vax had the interest in it

17)   Do they have pets? alas, no.... if he did i could see him owning smth more atypical like a ferret and fuck i kinda like that idea now i’ll have to meditate on it

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family? take one guess

19)   This there anything special about their family? his dad being a renowned prosthetics doctors is pretty special yeah

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household? absolutely not

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)? alas vax is... very very much a lone wolf! this section is gonna be hard to answer and i’m probably gonna have to cross out some stuff because vax purposefully doesn’t really get close to anyone and he’s exceedingly unperturbed about this.. i meant it when i said he’s very self-driven! he’s not ultra egotistic and he doesn’t hate other people, nor is he unempathetic (i’d say he has a good degree of empathy actually), he’s just kind of... uninterested? he won’t hate you or be nasty to you for no reason, he’s just not interested in befriending/being around you as an aspect of his life

22)   Who was their first friend? probably some of the other progeny tried to befriend him in precollege he he was Smart which is Cool but they quickly learned that vax’s idea of friendship is he will give you a quick synopsis of what he’s currently on and then go silent as he continues to work on it

23)   What is their friend group like? there are a lot of inquest underlings who try to suck up to him because he’s their boss and also a shining star virtuoso with his work................. vax remains oblivious and unpeturbed

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them? yes. specifically plex. who is his best tech ops drone but plex is a... sort of pushy person wrt trying to Befriend vax and he has a very obvious crush on vax and vax is mostly oblivious to it but sometimes feels weird about plex’s sudden ‘random’ bursts of being super buddy-buddy with him. in plex’s defense a bit, plex doesn’t know how to interact with people either

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one? he’s probably unintentionally driven off people by coming across as super cold... i think he feels bad if he accidentally upsets people with his demeanor but he’s not quite sure what to do about it bc he doesn’t really want to upset people but he also doesn’t want to force himself to be MegaFriendly anyway esp considering his trials with social interaction are kind of a hardwired brain thing (he’s got like... vague assorted ADHD-autistic spectrum traits)

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on? vax internalizes all his problems and works through them privately khgjdf he’s a weird mixture of stable and mature but sometimes unhealthy

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives? [img of vax doing vague shrugging motions here] as aloof as he is he probably at the very least appreciates that other people have interest in his work! so would be a bit sad if he didn’t have that

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come? he has graduated college! he was top of the class his year at dynamics

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one? i’m sure he’s had a Variety of teachers but most of his teachers probably liked him a good bit since he’s smart and yknow, Asura Be Like That... i’m sure he’s conversely had a few who butted heads with him over his philosophy on cybernetics because he has a much more open ended approach that’s a bit focused on the idea that prosthetics are body parts and people with prosthetics are Whole People not People With Additional Bits Slapped On/In and he’s very ginger with prosthetics/augments he handles and treats them like they’re the same as fleshy body parts and deserve the same delicate care despite being metal, and overall he has more of a focus on the actual people he’s working with i think, and i can see some more hardass/uptight teachers in particular not liking this because it’s kinda unasuran to more traditionalist types to have such a.. humane view on work rather than being enthused solely with your numbers and research results

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot? vax is very headstrong and if you have useful advice then its useful advice but if you dont then fuck off and let him do his work how he’s determined to do it... he doesn’t goof off but he has no respect for authority if authority gives bad commentary

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise? top marks except for in classes where he was abrasive with the teachers who’s work ethics clashed with his but what can you do

35)   Do/Did they need extra help? nope... he probably ended up tutoring a few people actually (which probably was due to a nudge from a teacher and not.. vax’s sole volition of wanting to tutor people)

36)   What is/was their school like?

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school? i’m sure he Didn’t Get Along With some others bc he’s Weird

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school? yes he’s absolutely metaphorically gone for someone’s throat because they had the audacity to challenge him on something that they were both wrong about and not as passionate about as him

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school? i’m sure he has but i can’t rlly think of anything (boring answer srry)

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? i already kinda answered this but he’s not partic romantically involved... however i think if he found someone he was In Sync With and who understood his mannerisms then he’d be very content with them... i think he would need a stable easygoing relationship based on shared interests and just casually fitting together and supporting each other rather than anything passionately heated or overly focused on traditional displays of affection

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret? he’s a big nerd who collects various prosthetics/augment models and he absolutely doesn’t keep it a secret...................... 75% of the RP i’m in with him rn has been him geeking out over augs. the other 25% was me describing the facility.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be? i think he’s more overall focused on the idea of a continuous stream of improvement over a few static goals? he’s constantly laying out new traintracks in front of himself to steam ahead on... he’d like to be happy and successful at what he does, ultimately, and really attain super advanced inventions

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one? despite everything i’ve said here about him being a good empathetic guy, he is Inquest........ the inquest funds his research he does at their labs and they pay him for being the sigma-five supervisor

45)   Do they use social media? i can’t see him using social media much tbh... he might be into podcasts and asuran youtube a bit

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital? due to his strength issues and some stuff that happened as a very small child he has been quite a bit yes

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see? this is a weird question in the context of gw2 which has canon ghosts whoops.. im gonna interpret it as ‘are they superstitious’... vax isnt superstitious and i think he’d be very brave facing questionably supernatural forces but in a sort of logical way uh... he would Not be the first to die in a horror movie.... he’s a skeptic of non-scientific magic things with i think some lingering internal paranoia.. he’s a very logical person

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset? broods in private probably....... depending on what he’s heated about he might go sit by himself for awhile or he’s gonna take his anger out while working on a project

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey? i think he tries to be a good person but he’s skeptical of that Status a lot and worries over it a good bit... again, typical inquest!

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc) all of my ocs have parts of me in them to some degree, i think vax carries some things related to my disabilities, interpersonal and moralistic struggles, and the nerdy passion over my special interests

[meggannn]

i finished my shenko playthrough...... and it made me sad bc i liked so much of it, there were so much good kaidan dialogue in me3 that i found really touching, and then i remembered that kaidan is dead in my canon :( i feel like i appreciate him more but i also just...... ashley is my girl........ i love her so much

anyway thoughts/notes/liveblogging 2 months late is all behind the cut

me1

the beginning of the renegade playthrough is p much just shepard throwing a tantrum going "i dont wanna" and anderson going "YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY"

Shepard: *murders everyone in the compound* Kyle: I respect that you have come under a banner of peace,

why do sniper rifles move when you zoom in tho like what's the fucking point lmao. is garrus considered an expert sniper just cause he can fuckin shoot anything at all

“I understand the discomfort she feels. The threat is very real.” so it’s canon Garrus has first response victim shock training

Baynham: here take these gas grenades that will knock ppl out instead of killing them Kaidan: I can hook them up to our launchers no problem Garrus: Why don't we use them Commander? Shepard: We're not doing that. Wipe everything out.

“How come every time there’s a problem you come running to me?” okay first off it’s hilarious that shepard talks to hackett like that, and secondly he resonds with: “Shepard you’re a Spectre” which is interesting. it’s not like he can assign her missions as a Spectre. it’s prob just abt prowess? or he uses her position for alliance gain

Shepard: Are you telling me this VI is thinking on its own? Hackett: We're not stupid, Shepard. Shepard:

(pulling a gun on the staff of Noveria) Garrus: Citadel authority supersedes yours. // you know he was thrilled to say that lmfaooo

“If by ‘secure the situation’ you mean ‘shoot every monster on sight,’ then sure.” good god

shepard, with spectre class gear, cleaning out this dude’s stock just to convert it all to omnigel: show me what you got

(to sovereign) Garrus: “The protheans vanished 50k years ago! You couldn’t have been there! It’s impossible!” Garrus sounds like an annoying kid in class lmfao

“Organic life was a mistake” this is why I don’t trust the fucking Reapers or starchild to give it to me straight. REAPERS ARE HALF ORGANIC!!!

Kirrahe: You have my respect, Commander. Shepard: I’d rather have Williams back than your respect. // jlSKJFLDSK

every time I destroy a colossus in the Mako now I’m reminded when shepard fights one of these fuckin things ON FOOT

“Cut me a little slack, Shepard. It’s not like you’re easy to read.”

vigil is still one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. i think i figured out why, it's the first time shepard (and at large, this cycle) realizes she has allies. more than she knows. every race that's been exterminated wants to see the reapers dead. every single one is supporting shepard the protheans weren't just wiped out. they didn't just fight till the bitter end. they made contingency plans. their last messages were also ones of hope. and they succeeded. shepard's gonna have to do most of the work on her own; of course she is. and she knows most history is lost. but all of that work has added up and will add up, and she realizes here she's gotta make all that work worth something. she can't leave it for the next cycle to clean up. like vigil’s talk is essentially: "aliens of the future, we are a dead race. we can't fight with you anymore. but we can be there to make sure you win. do not make our sacrifice in vain. we, and every race that came before us, the millions of us, deserve the chance." AND OH LOOK WHAT THAT REMINDS ME OF

vigil talks abt how the last ilios scientists (abt a dozen) took a one-way trip to the citadel after the reapers had left their cycle, and spent their remaining years severing the connection btw the keepers' automatic trigger function to activate the citadel relay and that the scientists probably died cold miserable and hungry bc the citadel was like, not exactly equipped for life anymore, and it was just a handful of people, so they wouldnt have gotten even a wing up and running. what's the bet that these scientists were also the leading engineers on the crucible, and they divided their time btw these two projects? the keepers succeeded, the engineers did everything they could to do more, add more ideas to this project, before they expired and they made the pods they were buried in biodegradable? or something? so that keepers would be able to dispose of them and their bodies couldn't be used for future experiments/slave labor if reapers or indoctrinated forces/collectors came back

this is my first time getting the apartment on intai’sei and THERE ISN’T EVEN A BATHROOM.

me2

just sharing this mod from someone who made “play as every character except shepard” mods. you can ask jacob what the hell a collector is WHILE DRESSED AS A COLLECTOR

“This pistol doesnt have a thermal clip” SHEPARD IS THAT REALLY THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO SAY AFTER AWAKING FROM A COMA. I love that not only is the first thing shep does on awakening is complain abt the state of her gun, but also that she wakes in full armor

ive been wondering if miranda planned the attack on lazarus station. she knows shepard is a woman of action. her trust in people comes from knowing they'll weather the storm with her. maybe this attack on the station was all to get her to trust jacob, or at least, not attack miranda on sight? if she woke up in a lab or hospital with cerberus logos leaning over her? uhhhh yeah, she's getting the hell out of here. if her first xp is fighting through fire w a few of them first? uh...... i'll hear you out at the VERY least, but i wont like you. that's what miranda wants

miranda seems to like renegade shep. she like respects the no bullshitting around i guess, cut from the same cloth?

twenty four permanent crew onboard the Normandy. jotting that down

Donnelly: Want to play some Skyllian Five with us later? Shepard: This isn’t a casino. Get back to work.

grunt says "arm one hand, offer the other. wise, shepard." that's one of my favorite lines descripting shepard, it fits mine perfectly

Shep: They offered me Spectrehood and I told them where to shove it. Udina: Are you trying to start a war? What the hell is wrong with you?

when you buy upgrades at the citadel stores, one tech damage purchase description describes the rls btw tools and neural connectors, so it’s canon omnitools are hooked up to neural implants. *scribbles that down for later* I’m not sure if that’s the right term but we know at least it’s connected in some way so that tools are individualized to their user

the turian hunting supplies guy is still one of my favorite minor npcs

on shepard’s likeness being used in the media: “The colony of Mindoir has won the right to use Shepard’s likeness on its seal.” okay this is interesting but also confusing because i figured since shepard is military, and now a public figure/no longer a private citizen, there was no need for people to ask to use her likeness. but there was a company that requested her permission in the armax arena to use her footage for a video. maybe for things like charity etc it’s necessary?

there are only five wards. somehow I never caught that that wards = arms of the Citadel. wtf. this changes everything

jacob: “you were the alliance poster child for like six months. then they replaced it with some composite image. guess you didn't field test right. perfect example of humanity, and they still dump you." // so it's canon the alliance whitewashes shepard, right? lol

shepard: i'm glad you're enjoying it here miranda. just remember who's in charge. miranda: i know exactly who's in charge. i report to him regularly. OUCH LMAO

one of the fuckin funniest things i experienced in this playthrough was: Shepard: I didn't let you look at those (cerberus datapads). Jack: I get impatient. Shepard: (close up on fist and angry red eyes) DO NOT violate the integrity of my ship again. Jack: (not paying attention) Yeah, ok.

Thane: I have a son. Shepard: All right, you spawned. Organic species tend to do that. Is that all?

more shepard being an asshole to thane: “just give it to me straight. i’m not interested in your philosophical BS.” GOD SHEPARD

asari are canonically into egyptology, cool

IF YOU FEED THE VARREN ON TUCHANKA IT’LL FOLLOW YOU AROUND, HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS TILL NOW

playing a complete asshole on garrus’s eye for an eye just reminds me how much i hate his loyalty lmao. i hate it on paragon, i hate it on renegade. if you agree w him on everything re revenge, beating harkin up, he’s like “i knew you’d understand” and “somehow I didn’t think you would (have a problem with what I’m planning to do)”. it’s just like. sad. idk. I hate this quest so much but I also hate people who play renegade shepard/garrus completely without criticism. it’s also why i hate those “garrus and shepard as gang bosses au” aesthetic shit. this kind of rls is not healthy. not that paragon is strictly the way to go, cause paragon can be self-righteous and preachy, esp in this mission, which bothers me too.

Bailey: You’re trying to save your son. Of course I’ll help. Thane, staring at him unblinkingly, with deep black eyes: He faces a dark path. Bailey:

weirdly this was the renegade option that made me feel really fuckin bad: Shepard: I didn’t want to do that. We don’t have much time. Mouse: Just go away, man. Thane: I’m sorry too, Mouse. Mouse: Just… go.

legion: windows are structural weaknesses. geth do not use them. heretic station: *is filled with fuckin windows*

Shepard: What’s your assurance worth? Your loyalty switches with quantum bits. EDI: Loyalty is based on mutual respect, common experience, and common cause. We share two of those. // HOT DAMN

have i mentioned that i fuckin hate how the varren, husks, and abominations are all armored on insanity

saving the collector base feels more like a bitter/unnerving victory instead of a triumphant/defiant one. more like "i hope i didnt just make a huge mistake handing that collector base to a terrorist group" lol

possibly one of my top favorite lines in the entire fucking series now which i have never heard before because i never picked the renegade options w him, thane: Just don't make the mistake I did. There's always another mission. None of them are an excuse to make yourself an island.

EVEN MIRANDA DOESNT APPROVE OF SAVING THE BASE "Before I started this mission, I never would've questioned our goals... I hope whatever Cerberus finds at that base is worth it."

Tela Vasir: I heard you weren't reinstated. Too bad -- you did good work. // so do all spectres respect shepard or something? even the corrupt ones? lmao

honestly liara's obviously unrequited love for shepard (if you romance someone else ofc) makes me so sad. like, she cries when she gets revenge on the person who stole ur body, dresses up when she comes to visit you on the normandy, says "funny, we're in the same room for the first time in 2yrs and we talk about anything but ourselves" like..... she misses and mourned and is still clearly kind of enraptured with shepard. i find it kind of sad and wish there was some kind of closure for her in shepards that romance someone else/no one at all. i hate the thought of liara falling in love at such a young age and pining for the rest of her life after shep dies. i switch back and forth btw if she actually has feelings for shep out of a savior crush bc it explains a lot of her behavior in 2, or if it’s just a young infatuation that she gets over by me3

honestly there is no quest that makes me respect ICT training more than Arrival. over two days shepard plows through how many enemies, including several engineers and pyros and two atlases, completely alone, with NO COMPLAINTS, and only gets taken out by a REAPER WAVE

me3

DONT KAIDAN ME THIS IS BUSINESS

rejecting chakwas is so fucking difficult and hard. if you dont invite her automatically she practically begs (ok she doesnt beg, but she does ask very sincerely and openly) to come back onto the normandy and then shep just.... says no, you can do more good here... and then turns around and recruits dr michel, who has never served on a warship before and doesnt know anybody’s medical history and is not nearly as experienced a doctor, so the choice to pick michel over chakwas makes absolutely no sense. like what the fuck lmao what a dick move shepard

yes i did cave and upgraded me3 to digital deluxe just for the hoodie and dog and extra guns. and it cost me $10. fuck

edi: “I would rather risk nonfunctionality with the crew of the Normandy, than risk it alone (by joining the reapers).” :’(((((((

i keep fucking forgetting how long the omega dlc is. god i never want to look at omega again. lydia definitely nods off/passes out from exhaustion in the back seat as bray drives the shuttle back to the normandy

after miranda’s death, joker: “Mordin, Wrex, Thane, Samara, Miranda… how long before it’s just you and me against the Reapers?”

citadel bits

the clone fight on insanity as a vanguard was not nearly as hard as the clone fight on insanity as a sentinel. what the fuck. i guess it’s a trade off because the solo fight through the strip against the mercs as a vangard was a pain in the ass, and the same fight as a sentinel was a cakewalk

HOW COME THE CLONE HAS INCINERATE EVEN WHEN I DONT LMAO

traynor rattles off lists of her conditions and shepard says she “didn’t realize people still had conditions like that anymore.” traynor says “the colony where I grew up has limited resources. you only have gene therapy if you have a life-threatening condition.“ analysis:

gene therapy to remove common diseases is prevalent enough that chronic conditions like asthma/allergies appear to be eliminated, and may be near extinction with gene therapy in most areas

HOWEVER since they're naturally occurring, they can always crop up, so gene therapy will always be necessary, unless/until scientists start messing with embryo biology?

shepard isn't shocked, just kind of mildly surprised that they're "still around", which makes me feel like gene therapy probably only became WIDELY used mb within the past ~50yrs? to the point of making asthma etc so rare that most humans might now never meet someone with them. ofc i imagine eb shepard would be less surprised that old diseases are still around bc she grew up in a poor inner city and was prob exposed/developed an immunity to them?

dslkf

citadel party

with miranda, samara, and wrex dead, there’s one fewer group in the first section of the party. javik joins the gang in the kitchen, grunt the gang in the living room, and zaeed the gang in the tv area. which resulted in some interesting lines for javik lol. i imagine he joined the tali/garrus/liara/sam gang bc he didnt know anybody else

the third high energy part with the gang on the balcony is rly cute. it's like liara is... idt flirty is the right word, but first she gets all heated challenging james to a pull-up contest, and then teases him that kaidan's lapping him. i think she just has a fondness for james

paying attention to the background chatter is just as entertaining as the normal banter. i caught so many funny jack kaidan and traynor lines

javik suggests that we do this (have a party) again if we survive the war! awww

joker and edi def still have feelings for each other and dance together -- or at least joker does, and edi kind of acts coy/like she’s still interested -- even if you tell them both not to pursue it. it’s prob just because bw didn’t intend for ppl to discourage them, but still interesting

you don’t get mordin’s datapad if you killed him... keely mentioned it’s prob because the stg knew what you did and i believe that

the voice over the radio trying to save her friend’s life while the soldier walks her through it is definitely femhawke. bw probably just reuses their actors so much i can recognize them all lmao

ending

if you sabotage the genophage/kill wrex it’s major kirrahe (or a misc salarian if he died i suppose) that’s giving commands to the troops and god that is so bleak

i shot tim and got his extra dying dialogue that i haven’t ever before.... i like that writing better than when he kills himself? but they’re both sort of poetic endings...... idk which is my favorite

ive never done control before and holy shit i do not like DO NOT LIKE DO NOT WANT. synthesis really creeped me out for a number of reasons but i thought control would be better for some reason? like, a sad kind of way? instead it was just..... super super unnerving LIKE SHEPARD LITERALLY DISINTEGRATES IN FRONT OF OUR EYES and then with that ending monologue and man i am never choosing control again i guess it’s destroy 2kforever for me

first time i told jack to put her students on the front line and they all died. god

caps with makeup-less shep!

[franeridart]

Whats your opinion on the headcanon that bakugou is hard of hearing because of how loud his explosions are? If you dont mind my asking

I think I answered this q on this blog already? Maybe? But anyway, I don’t exactly mind it, but I can’t say I share the headcanon myself - for one, because I’m of the opinion that their bodies are built to withstand a safe use of their quirks (a bit like you can’t break a leg by simply walking, you know), so in general I’m not a fan of headcanons that include damages caused by simply doing what their bodies were born to do? 

But also because generally, even under the assumption that his body isn’t made to hold up with his explosions, isn’t it awfully convenient how only his ears take damage in these scenarios? What about his eyes? How come he can still see with no problems even with the continuous exposure to the explosions’ light? How about his hair? How come he can stand so close to fire without it ever being damaged by it? His palms have thicker skin and we know that thanks to his UA file, but what about the rest of his body? How come he can stand smack in the middle of an Howitzer Impact without getting even slightly burnt? When you say “only his ears aren’t made to withstand his explosions” what you’re telling me is that his whole body is tailord to deal with his quirk but his ears, and that just feels unrealistic to me - by which I mean, when this is the scenario we’re talking about, you can’t give the fault of the damage to Bakugou’s quirk. It’s a problem his body has, not a natural consequence of having that sort of quirk. And imho with those premises you sort of end up with a different kind of story, you’re supposed to write it differently - that’s what I think, at least

Anon said:Maybe the reason Baku raises his voice so often is because he can’t hear very well, which isn’t due to his explosions, rather, he was born with bad hearing to protect him from taking damage by them.. and then his other senses are sharper to even it out, and his body can even subconsciously notice air vibrations, resulting in really fast reflexes.

Ah, this is also another reason why I’m not a huge fan of the headcanon - don’t get me wrong! If you like it then go on, I’m not trying to stop anyone from enjoying ideas and possibilities!! But personally I like Bakugou not having any reason to be loud-mouthed and rude, that’s just his personality and how the environment he grew up in made him, and lately I’ve seen the hc used to justify his behaviour more than I like? Bakugou being an asshole is just who he is, and I love it! I love that his life made him like that and I love that he’s working hard to fix that flaw, giving him an external reason, something he has no control over, to justify his personality changes the core of his character too much, and that’s not something I’d ever want to do tbh

And it’s also cool to think that he was somewhat genetically engineered to be better in a fight to compensate for a lack of earing (though again, why only his ears and not his eyes or his sense of tact too), but that goes to cut on all the hard work he put in becoming as good as he is, right? If that’s what you like than who am I to stop you! But Bakugou’s hardworking nature is one of the things I love about him, I don’t really feel like taking away from him all the effort and work he put through the years in becoming as good as he is now

Anon said: Kiri’s grades suddenly getting sky high after Baku started kissing his cheek for every correct answer

Kirishima: “OKAY NEXT CHAPTER LET’S GO”

Bakugou: “the fuck, no, we’re done, that’s how far we went in cla–”

Kirishima: “GOING A BIT AHEAD CAN’T BE A PROBLEM CAN IT”

Anon said: Kiri is seriously talented at dirt doodles

lmao it’s just stickmen hahaha

Anon said:aww your miri/tama collage is so precious! have you considered doing something like that for kiri/ kami as well? those boys are in desperate need of some love.. totally understand if not! have a wonderful rest of your day/night :3

Uh, well, it’s not like I “haven’t considered” doing it, but more than a collage it’s… just how I always draw? Only usually I cut the pics for each of them to be a different image so they’re easier to see, while yesterday I was too lazy to do that and left them all on the same canvas haha so I guess yeah next time I’ll feel like drawing krkm if you’d like I can leave the drawings all in one pic, that’s just less work for me after all lol

Anon said:Ahhhhhh~ I had had… Such a need for miritama after that chapter and I couldn’t find anything w the right feel or anything and ??? Then you just??? Bless you thank you they look wonderful and so so soft and happy and I’m just !!!

AHHHH!!!! Thank you so much!!!! I’m glad you liked them :O

Anon said:thank you good lord you’re gonna help me get out of the depressive spiral chapter 152 has put me into

BOI ANON DON’T I FEEL YOU it’s why I drew those to being with hahaha

Anon said:DUDE YOUR PINING KIRISHIMA GOT ME DEAD HOLY FUCK SO PURE SO AWESOME 10/10

THANK YOU!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

Anon said: I just recently became obsessed with MomoJirou because it’s an incredible ship and I can’t get enough and then you give us these adorable drawings of them? I cry

Anon said:fran….your girls…… they’re so good……..

Anon said:I love how you drew Momo 😍

Anon said:FRAN THANK YOU FOR THE MOMOJIROU CONTENT I LOVE IT I LIVE FOR IT I HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF MOMOJIROU FOR SO LONG AND NOW I CAN SEE SOME BEAUTIFUL ART OF THEM IN YOUR STYLE WHICH MAKES IT TEN TIMES BETTER THANK YOU

AAAAHHHHHHHHH BOI THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I’m ??? so glad you guys liked them???? Momo is so hard to get a grasp on for me, it makes me happy to know I did her right!!!!

Anon said:What do you think about futakuchi? xox

He’s my fav in Dateko!!!! Also one of my two biggest #same in Haikyuu haha (the other’s Kuroo lol)

Anon said: I haven’t seen semi on your blog for a while? ;)

That’s 100% most probably because there hasn’t been any haikyuu on my blog for a while, I’d say :O

Anon said:You keep drawing… So many soft things I’m in love… momojirou is so sweet it cleared my skin (and !!! I know you said you have no idea how to draw her but she looks wonderful and I loved it!!) And pining Kiri his face at the end??? Saved me. And STUDY DATE I CAN’T FORGET tbh baku looked so good esp the way you drew him kiri I Understand. Anyways you’re a blessing and I hope you have a lovely day!!!

God anon….. you just go……….. and slay me like this……. how am I supposed to deal………………………. (ilu)

Anon said:Does the Octopus Team still exist? I was scrolling through Shouji tags and saw the art.

I’m not sure what this ask means :O like, are you asking me if I’ll ever draw them together again? Because tbh that one doodle sort of just… happened while I was doing something else……… oops….

Anon said:Is it just me or are you getting more and more notes a lot quicker? Bc congrats my friend

:O thanks!!! But to be fair I think more than on my art this is mostly on the Bakushima becoming a much more popular ship, lately! The anime will do that haha

Anon said: I literally check your blog multiple times every day to see if you’ve posted anything new, your art just makes me so happy??? Like it could literally be bakugou as an orange and kirishima as a strawberry and I would reblog it faster than lightning and stare at it for five mins. Your style is just so nice and it like…. flows well?? Is really clean??? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT MY DUDE but BASICALLY i love everything you do and thanks for blessing us with all the cute kiribakus and bokuroo :))

sob thank you ;O; so much ;O; holy shit ;O; ;O;

Anon said:So I’m new to the BNHA fandom and you’re probably the first artist I stumbled across but I am HOOKED. I love your bakushima A LOT and your headcanons are so perfect I get so hype when I see them on my dashboard *v* Do you ever think about what would happen if Bakugou’s family found out about his new relationship? Do you think they would love Kirishima? (Of course they would it’s impossible not to). I imagine that would be an interesting scenario!!

I’m 100% sure Mitsuki would be like “HOW THE FUCK did you manage to get such a nice kid to like you” but when we’re being honest Masaru is a super sweet man married with a firecracker too so does she have any right to talk? Nope, she does not 

And thank you so much for the compliments!!!! :O this fandom is super full of talented and nice people, I hope you’ll have a great time in it!

Anon said:Dude like mate honey love bunch bro man,,,,, YOUR FR*CKING ART!!!! SO H*CKING GOOD???? BAKUKIRI (cries because I love them so f*dging much) LOOK SO GOOD IN YOUR ART STYLE? SO PURE! WHOLESOME!!! I just went through your art tag for the last hour and I love everything. Kirishima is my FAVE I LOVE HIM!!!$ and the Baku squad mm mmmmmm good shiz right there. AND YUUJIIIIII AND BOKKUROOOOO AND THE VOLTRON AU!!!! Honestly we have such similar tastes ah. Anyway I’m running out of words love you fran xox

HOLY HECK I LOVE YOU A LOT TOO ANON!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Kirishima and bakugo furiously (not mad just intense) making out I know what your thinking but please give it a try

I mean the idea isn’t something I mind at all, but drawing this sort of things requires a specific mood for me which isn’t easy to come by and more often then not when I do draw that sorta stuff I don’t finish nor post it? So in general that’s not the type of things I’ll draw as a suggestion, sorry orz

Anon said: Whenever I see a new post from you but it’s reblogged I immediately go to your original post so I can read your tags. I love them so much!

Heck !!!!! I’m glad you enjoy my nonsense? hahaha

Anon said:*whispers* hey hey…. kiribaku hide and seek got any thoughts on that

Are you asking about one against the other or hiding together? …either way I can only see that ending in disaster and explosions ngl lol

Anon said:It came to my mind after reading your last comic that Baku usually dresses up pretty nice¿? Its canon that his family works for the fashion industry and his costume is SO EXTRA™, we never really see him in cringey or weird clothing (please correct me if I’m wrong (?)) but I still like the idea of him having lots of skull/punk tees and struggling to find normal stuff lol

Wouldn’t call them cringey or weird, but it is canon that every time we’ve seen him out of his costume/uniform in the manga he’s worn either plain black tees/tank tops or t-shirts with skulls on them :O that’s actually his canon style, I wasn’t taking a wild guess back there haha

Anon said:I miss your art on my feed on the days you don’t art. So I scroll through your old posts whenever that happens. (This is not a plea or pressure for you to do anything more often btw. You make so much amazing art and contribute so much to this fandom. I love going back and looking at all your art. We are not worthy!) I literally can’t think about Kiribaku and the Bakusquad without thinking of your art.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!! Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O; 

Anon said:Cons of Kirishima being the protagonist of MHA: He would constantly be hurting himself and making us as the audience suffer in the worst way. Pros: if the recent chapters are anything to go by, he would be /very very pretty/ by now due to how much he’s been beaten up

I still prefer him healthy and happy tho ｡ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ｡ once in a hospital bed is enough for me //sob

Anon said:I can’t describe how happy these deathstar doodles made me?? Your art is top notch as always but you drawing one of my all time favorite ships when there’s so little content for them gave me strenght for the next 57 years, thank you sm!!! And have a good day!!

Anon said:Ahhh you have no idea how much of a blessing it is to see deathstar in your artttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!! I love you so muchhhhhh!!!

I’M!!! HAPPY!!! YOU GUYS LIKED THOSE!!!!! I never understood why there was so little content for them tbh, like??? Okay the anime didn’t reach any of The Good Stuff for them and most fans never read the manga, but the manga makes them such an obvious ship?? So good so right so healthy and supportive and beautiful b o y rereading that manga gave me a lot of feelings bless the two of them ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡

Anon said:Oh my god, I was just looking through like all your art and I realized how much you’ve improved. Like oh my god you’re fantastic, all your art looks so great. I mean this as a compliment and that’s you’ve improved a lot and you’re so great. ❤️❤️

THANK YOU OH BOY (●´□`)♡ this means…………….so much…………. gahh

Anon said:i got so busy with college apps and entrance exams that I stopped watching the anime around the intern time and I stopped reading the manga around about the time sun eater faces off against those guys. man I have so much to catch up on but I still don’t have much time at all. all I know is Mirio is being an angel and I’m at peace with that.

Mirio………… is such a good boy……………….. he deserves so much more…………….. so much better………………….. o

[irastayshome]

Ibrahim's birth

Ibrahim arrived in this world on 21st January 2017. Back then, we were lucky to afford a doula because I was hella nervous about the whole birthing process and tbh my head wasnt in the game because of all the stress at work. After the 'hard part' was over, and as I held my son, I vividly remember my doula saying that the easy part was over and the hard part of being a parent has just begun. I thought it was a joke at the time because, well, what could be harder than pushing a 3 kg baby out of your vagina? 2 yrs and 6mths on, I have mentally kicked myself in the head for taking my doula's words lightly. These days, I consider it a win when I do not raise my voice or completely lose my sh** and raise my hands at my son. I keep needing reminders of what it took to get him into this world and the many moments we failed him along the way so that I do not be complacent and mistreat him.

So I thought I might write his birth story down after all. Didn't really wanna remember all the details of something that feels rather insignificant now, but some days at home are just rough and a good reminder is useful.

*

19 January 2017. I had been on maternity leave for a week, but only just completed my case transfers from home. My mamamia had been insisting that I sleep over her place once a week for the last trimester on Hasyali's night shifts. I didnt mind at all, because my r/s with my parents have improved significantly after moving out. Distance is truly necessary sometimes.

It finally dawned upon me that I was due in a week. Being last minute as I always am, I tried to 'catch up' on the squats that my doula/birth educator had been reminding us to do at 9 pm. But really, i was just doing it for fun cause like it would make any difference at 39 weeks, esp since ive been treating my body like crap while handing over my work the last few weeks. Planned to youtube more exercises to speed up labour etc etc but fell into the rabbit hole of "natural birth positions" and "painfree birth vlogs" and before I knew it, I was hooked on the Midwives yt tv series till i fell asleep at 5 am. Damn youtube.

20th January 2017. 7 am. Felt like I ate something so bad and had to do a big one. And so I did, groggily, and went back to sleep. Feeling so smug that I could finally sleep in on a weekday. 9 am. What is going on with my bowels??? Tried to recall what I ate last night, but dont care just sleep after the business. 10.30 am. Sat up and mentally admitted that those horrid pains at the bottom of my tummy could actually be contractions! Trying to keep cool, I ate breakfast quickly, trying to mask my ronyok face each time the tightenings came by because nyayi was there and I just did not wanna tell my family. pretty sure they would have shipped me off to the hospital immediately.

Took cab back at 12.30pm and smsed hubs about the contractions, saying it could potentially be the real thing. But not sure, so I timed them in the cab. 10 mins apart. regular. oh crap its happening. Got home, discovered the bloody show. So yup i got my confirmation. Smsed hubs a photo of it but told him to just take it easy, go solat Jumaat and just slowly pack his bag aftee. He just got off his night shift so he probably hasnt slept at all. Told doula Kak Hajjar about whats going on, and was advised to just relax and walk2 until i cant talk anymore from the pain. Hubs came back, and i took off on a birth walk alone around the estate. Every few mins, I just stopped and breathed deeply, sorely regretting not pestering my hubs to come along bcoz adoi sakit and nothing to squeeze or hold on to. and in the 3 pm sun no less.

Came back, started panicking when i realised hubs belum pack!! what is it with men and last minute packing?? feeling annoyyed bcoz im about to do some serious work but he cant even get started on packing. but ok takpe, got in the shower to cool down and to relieve the pain while he packed. Contractions were now 4 mins apart, but I could still talk. NUH told me to come in now. Doula told me to wait till i cant talk. The kancong me decided to go anyway, worried about the rush hour jam on the start of a weekend.

Arrived at NUH at 6 pm, realising that id skipped lunch. I was hungry, and oh no so damn sleepy bcoz i barely slept the night before! Damn youtube. Ate mr bean pancake with hubs. Met doula who told.me i dont look like its time bcoz i could talk and joke about. I admit i secretly thought that it was because i had a high tolerance for pain hahahaha joke. Entered the delivery ward at 7 pm, was 4 cm dilated. Yay! but wait what, all that pain and only 4 cm? oh no.

So began the longest night of my life. Doulla massaged my back and did hip squeezes through contractions, and I occasionally swayed while standing with hubs. These two were just incredible birth partners. My labour pains were rough at the front, but damn the back labour pains were friggin insane! Felt like maybe I had tentacles trying to burst out of my spine and turn into Doc Ock.

At some point, i remember just saying random supplications and feeling so regretful that i had not rehearsed what selawats I wanted to read in those moments bcoz my head was really jammed up trying to manage the pain. By 3 am my body felt like it had gone through a marathon and i really did fall asleep between contractions out of sheer exhaustion. It was exhausting to just tahan the pain.

By 4 ish am (hazy on the details by now), a VE confirmed I was 9 cm dilated. At this point I was already vomitting and my head hurt so much from tahaning the pain. I remembered thinking, or maybe even saying out loud, that I wanted them to cut the baby out. Im pretty sure I was transitioning at that point but I didnt know bcoz my mind was too panicky. They told me the head was still too high to push, so they offered to burst my waterbag, but said theres no assurance it would bring the head down but wld certainly intensify the contractions. I was pretty sure I would pass out if they intensified, out of exhaustion. and never mind that I was barely able to wake up btwn contractions due to my flu and fever (yes ARGH hate flu during labour). So I refused and waited for news that im fully dilated.

6 am. Still at 9 cm. My head was thinking "how long did Kak Hajjar say transitions lasted again?? takkan lama gini??" This time, my mental strength just gave way. I screamed for an epidural. I remember feeling so terrified that my baby would be stuck while im pushing, because I had zero energy left. Fatigued from the pain and the fever, I pleaded for an epidural again n again. I rmbr my doula, my husband, the nurses all giving me such kind words of support, saying ive gone si far and am at the last lap, and encouraged me to stick to my birth plan of going without medication. But I was too defeated by exhaustion and just wanted to sleep. Hahahaha. Like i literally said "yang, i nak tido" and started to cry.

So they called in the anesthesiologist (dunno the spelling). While he prepped the long-ass needle, I felt a huge gush of warm water down there. My waters broke. At this point I could have just waited for the head to descend, but I was too tired and looking forward to a promised 2 hour rest before pushing. So I kept quiet about it. I was in tears, out of disappointment at myself for not being able to ride out the exhaustion. But my doula was so kind and reminded me that God is the best of planners, and perhaps this was the way for me to achieve a natural birth still and avoid any emergency csection if I could not push. The nurses too were angels, and kept assuring me I had tried really hard for a long time and shouldn't beat myself up. And so I slept. That was the best 2 hour sleep of my life. pretty sure I snored and drooled, in the presence of my doula. Nak kata paiseh but nah I was too tired to care, and all modesty had left the room hours ago.

8 am. Woken up by cheerful nurses who told me it was time to start pushing. I just wanted to sleep in longer, but then I remembered oh ya baby is still inside. That epidural was gooooood. So began pushing. It felt so weird pushing when I cant feel anything moving down there. They had to tell me when to push i.e. when contractions came, and kept telling me I was pushing wrong and i had to do it as how i would when pooping. I suddenly didnt know how pooping felt like anymore. Kept pushing for an hour plus, but apparently the head keeps going back in. My husb and I had affectionately named our foetus "jubjub", just to avoid calling it the baby during the pregnancy. and my doula joked that perhaps the baby keeps going back in bcoz we named him jubjub like the muppet from Hi-5 that likes to peekaboo around. haha that was a good one.

My gynae finally came in around 9.30 am ish. She told me that I had to do an episiotomy to help push the baby out. My husband stopped her and told her to let me continue trying. But eventually she kept persisting and my husband apparently could not tahan seeing me push so hard anymore (he said the veins on my face look like they were gonna burst). So he agreed. The moment she cut, I pushed and felt the head empty out of me. I thought that was weird cause I was on epidural, but apparently they reduced the dose while pushing. A few more pushes later, I heard it. Ibrahim's first cries. The nurses and my doula congratulating me. My husband telling me I did it and he was proud of me. But mainly, Ibrahim's cries. 21st January 2017, at 10.03am.

They placed him on my chest. I cried. and cried. And i thought he was the most perfect thing I could ever hold in this world.

Dearest Ibrahim, a mother can love her husband out of choice, but theres simply no choice in this love I have for you. It is so raw and intense and relentless, that Im so consumed by it from the moment I held you. There are days, now, when I feel your anger towards me because I am so hard on you, especially since im not very good at coping with the two of you. But I hope you never feel that I love you any less when I get angry. and I hope you truly forgive me when you give me a hug after I apologise each time for beating you. You deserve so much better, and i'll keep striving to be a better mother to you and adik.

Ok bye. Am gonna cry my eyes out now. Damn birth stories.

[richard-of-windoor]

naknaknakadile

Tell me about your ocs!!!!!!!

imagine. i launched myself through your window rn 

ive been having a lot of oc feelings lately but i also have a sort of writers block and i  w anna cry. im gonna do a read more tho bc im scared itll get really long. also i want my series to eventually be a video game s o some elements may sound very game like for that reason

okay!!! s o the setting is high fantasy so expect magic and fantasy races. i also rework a lot of things out of the blue but this is what theyre like right now

*last name subject to change one day maybe

Davorin Mors - vampire and necromancer. i still cant decide if i want vampires to have lived hundreds of years or regular human years s o his age rn is either 16 or 1698 (every hundred years equal one year for vamps). The Mors family is related to Agatha the goddess of death and ruler of the underworld which is how Dav got his powers bc vampires sometimes dont have magic. Davorin’s older brother Vladimir is very upset Dav got powers instead of him which causes a lot of tension between them. 

Davorin is quiet and observant but can also end up being very reckless. he was forced into being a sort of servant to Agatha bc she feels he owes her for giving him powers that he didnt even ask for. so he is very very jumpy around her bc shes a god so. very powerful. Davorin still doesnt have great control over his powers bc necromancy is the darkest magic and even with being a vampire one wrong spell could kill him so he has to hold back  a lot (which is also sort of an excuse for him not to be too overpowered in the series). as a vampire he used to be okay with sucking blood from people bc it was what all vamps did, but he feels disgusted with his past self and refuses to drink blood from unwilling people now. he almost always wears an enchanted coat (it grows with him so it always fits) into battle that his uncle gave him before he was killed. he uses a scythe mainly but likes to use knives/daggers. i love him dearly. 

Vince Solastice* - vampire and bard. comes from a long long line of bards so music is literally in his veins. 15. he loves being center of attention and loves the stage. hes sort of the yin to davorin’s yang while Dav is very quiet, Vince is very loud. he was born with albinism so he grew up bullied for it in school. he ended up dying his hair and wearing colored contacts for a long time. he puts on a very confidant, tough act but hes actually kinda insecure. hes very good at hiding it tho bc not even Davorin has picked up on it yet. he picks a lot of fights in school bc people accuse him of stealing their boyfriends a lot. hes very flirty and loves making others flustered. he loves teasing others esp nate bc nate gets super riled up. hes flamboyant and pretty open about his sexuality (which flusters Nate a lot who Vince calls a prude).

he sometimes works with Dav to do stuff for Agatha but she really hates him. shes snapped his wrist before but he’ll do anything to help Dav. he wants to get Dav away from her but doesnt know how. 

he was born and raised in France, but then moved to Romania and then to California. the Solastice and Mors family are good friends which is how Dav and Vince met. ive been playing around with the idea of giving him older sisters but as of now hes an only child.

Nate Ryder - human and wizard (dont have a term for his magic yet). 14. a young boy who grew up in a village that was filled with ancient magic and culture. but then the Serpents attacked them. 

the Serpent King is an evil king basically. i need to work on him more.

anyways the Serpents took Blake and Nate and pillaged and destroyed the village. Blake and Nate were made to become servants to the Serpent king. Nate is more heavily focused on magic and uses a staff. his magic and combat was taught by other Serpents so its going to be better than others. the Serpent castle also had a huge library of (stolen) books so Nate knows a lot about history and cultures. since he was very young when he was taken he doesnt remember much of his own, he cant even recall his parents faces. eventually Blake and Nate escaped (they realized just how cruel it is and what they were doing) the Serpent castle and run as far away as they can. after that they dedicated their lives to helping others. they know they cant fix what theyve done but they can at least work towards redemption. the big problem is that they were both branded when they were brought to the castle. so they have a big white serpent going along their arm (left for nate, right for blake) and people easily recognize it so they dont get treated that greatly.

Nate is very stubborn and aims towards perfection. hes a believer of “if you want something right do it yourself”. due to the way he was raised he was forced to grow up fairly quickly so hes mature for his age so to speak. but he does have moments of childlike behavior which pleases blake a lot. Nate is also very tactical and wants to always have control of a battle (which is why he clashes with Dav’s reckless behavior). hes esp protective of Blake in battle since hes the only family he has left. hes willing to lose a battle for Blake’s sake. he has a lot of issues with trusting others and looks down on friendship. i always wanted to have Nate be THE character who changes the most overtime. while i want everyone to have development i want nate to grow the most for some reason

Blake Ryder - human, half dragon, and fighter. 18. Nate’s older brother. same backstory as above but instead of focusing on magic when he was younger Blake focused more on combat. a master with the swords. a slightly different aspect of his backstory was that the Serpents experimented on him when he was younger. (tell me if this sounds dumb btw) they put dragon DNA into him which caused him to become half dragon. he still has no idea how to control it or what he can even do, but he does know he has to keep it a secret (except from Nate). he appears fully human s o nothing does ticks anyone off. he does have a bad habit of smoking bc he says he needs to feel some sort of fire in his lungs to feel right (Nate refuses to believe him and hates the habit). he does eventually learn how to use his powers but theyre obv much less powerful than a real dragons (which have been extinct for a long ass time. also another way to not make him op).

he doesnt talk much. Nate does the talking for the both of them. when he does talk though, hes very calm and patient. unless its concerning Nate. since they dont have parents his become Nate’s in a way. reprimanding him when he gets to hot headed, making sure hes taken care of himself, etc. he also didnt get to have much of a childhood but he just wishes Nate could have one. like Nate he also has a very tactful mind and aims for the best solution to victory so the two work extremely well together. 

Kristen Masuda* - human, fighter. an upbeat, energetic transgirl. 16. wants the best for everyone and wants everyone to get along!!! loves her friends and would do anything for them!! fun fact: was the second oc i ever made!!!

growing up her mom taught her that teamwork is the recipe for success so tries her ultimate best to work well with others. can be naive and easily  trusting which puts the team at risk from time to time. she gets very upset after these times and feels she isnt a good leader at all for her team and shes just going to lead her friends into danger. 

shes been trained in close combat so mainly uses swords. she can use magic but i havent decided what her magic should mainly be. i think what ill have her do is enchant her sword.

she gets upsets during friend fights and tries to patch them up. she gets told that she should let them patch things up but she just cant stand seeing her friends fight and be mad at each other.

Valerie Perxina* - fairy, fighter, and magic user. 16. loves fashion and always looks her best. she thinks of every day as a new fashion show. she fights with Nate and Vince mostly for that reason as shes self titled herself the prettiest of the group

she grew up in the forest with other fairies as is the usual. but she hated them all and was considered weird for wanting to explore the outside world. she eventually got fed up and left in the night. she hasnt gone back since. shes extremely edgy around other fairies for that reason and doesnt like them. she met Kristen one day while looking for a place to settle and the two became quick friends

she knows what she wants and prefers it when things go her way. she questions anyone since Kristen is so easily trusting with people. Valerie’s sharp tongue can get the group in a lot of trouble. also wont tolerate anyone who sees her as just a pretty face. 

she uses a cutlass for close combat and magic for distance. i havent been able to think of a lot of fairy magic so as of right now its not much.

Luke (no last name yet :( ) - element (ice), magic user. 15. a happy boy who loves cracking jokes and making the mood lift!!! 

quick explanation of the (probably dumb) element thing: basically a person who is made of a certain element. in Luke’s case his body is made of ice and he has ice powers. so his body is always freezing and he loves the cold more than anything. 

anyways!! Luke grew up in a village in the snowy mountains with other ice elements but he never found himself becoming long term friends with anyone. so he left to go on his own. he later found Max and the two found Valerie and Kristen and the four became fast friends. Luke is the youngest of the group so hes the most immature and doesnt like it super serious long meetings. he does know of course when to act serious but he just likes making people happy esp Nate who he feels is always serious and unhappy. 

he can use ice powers and walk on water by turning it to ice. he can also breath underwater (due to the fact that hes sort of made of water) so underwater quests are up to him. his preferred weapon is an ice sword he creates.

his original concept had him and max growing up in britain so they have english accents and you can pry that concept from my cold dead hands. their accents are strong

Max Ignis****** (I know dumb last name so its def getting changed) - element (fire), magic user. 18. laid back and just wants to play guitar. if only he would stop burning his strings :(

grew up near a volcano with little population. so he mostly grew up alone. he met Luke (who was wandering aimlessly around the world) and decided to join him. he likes relaxing and when things are calm but his temper can fire up sometimes. he doesnt like fighting and will try to keep things peaceful if able. but hes ready to protect someone when needed

his favorite thing to do is smoke with blake (and davorin at times) since max is literal fire. he enjoys smoking and filling himself with smoke. he also likes playing guitar with vince, but he feels like vince is too strict about music sometimes.

his uses his fists when fighting and launches fire balls.  sometimes hes able to melt a weapon but he has to get close and ahold of it to do it

Cameron Green - human, magic user, probably crying as we speak. 16. didnt want to be the chosen one and doesnt know whats going on.  FIRST OC EVER CREATED BTW

Cameron and Andrew are the big plot people. theyre the reason the plot happens and arguably the most important two. but i still want everyone to have an equal spotlight. 

Cameron is a space wizard. which means he can do things such as star bombs which causes a blinding flash, change the gravity for a small area, and have meteors fly down. the space wizard hasnt been heard of for a long time and is considered an ancient magic. the only problem is Cameron is wielding it.

Cameron is clumsy, cautious, and terrified. hes terrified of what he can do and what could happen if he messes up (will he hurt his friends, will he fail the world, will he disappoint everyone). he was unknown to the magic world growing up due to not knowing his real parents. he and his brother were dropped off at a orphanage one night after it was deemed too dangerous from an attack for their parents to keep them. he grew up being considered an outsider and a loner in a small town in Nebraska. he loves creating art and drawing and painting is his speciality. while Andrew may be the opposite of Cameron, he still loves him and protects him the best he can. Cameron can be mouthy but quickly shuts up if someone stronger than him shows up (which is. most people). Next to Nate I want Cameron to have a lot of growth as well. him growing used to his powers and being able to wield them and him growing confidant in himself. 

i love Cameron dearly since he is the first oc ever made by me. i bought platform boots bc of him and im pretty sure he helped me realize i was always goth bc hes always had those big platform boots for some reason. 

Cameron likes to uses a staff summoned from the galaxy to fight with. it sounds very extra but its just a staff that has the sun on one end and the moon on the other. very sick.

(this pic is tiny but u can see the platform boots a bit)

Andrew Green - human and magic user. 15. wants to protect the earth more than himself. this kid will slap you if you dont recycle. 

Andrew is an earth wizard which is very generic in fantasy but i plan on having it as rare as the space wizard in my world. i wanted something to connect them as brothers so i decided to do the earth and space thing. basically an earth wizard is always accompanied by a space wizard and vice versa. the two are always blood related also. 

Andrew’s powers are kinda generic in fantasy bc earth is always used. he can make vines appear, shake the earth, form rocks, etc. his sword is summoned from the ground and has a very earthy appearance. 

Andrew is seen as the perfect boy. popular, outgoing, friendly. people refused to believe he was related to Cameron. When Andrew found out about magic it was estatic , he was a huge fantasy fan and was more than ready to take whatever it threw at him. which ended up being a lot. Andrew tries his best to keep up with whatever is happening but sometimes. life just gets too much and he loses it. when stressed he tends to go to places with lots of nature and trees. 

When Cameron cant stay motivated Andrew tries his best to keep him up. 

beep beep this ended up being way longer but!!!!!!!!!! this helped me get lots of shit straight so thank u for asking!!!!!

[thisisjustacover]

okay since i know i’m not going to be actually doing my work and kind of feeling anxious now because of all these feelings and emotions that i have to dump that i’ve been holding on to since like maybe the summer? lol so it’s goign to be a long fucking post and i hope no one reads it and if you do thanks for reading through all my bs that i’ve gone through

so this summer i got into a car accident like literally a week into my summer break on my way to work at school and tbh i wasn’t tired or anything but i guess i was just being a bit too careless maybe way too careless and too excited about the music that i was listening to that i got distracted and hit the car in front of me just as it was hitting traffic and it’s bullshit but life happens and that car hit the car in fron tof them and i was alone and thankfully no one was hurt or anything and at that time i made so many mistakes like literally the minute i hit the car basically i kept making mistakes well first of all i hit the car two cars in fact that was like a collision second i didn’t get their contact info like their phone number and shit so i had to wait until the police report came out which i didn’t call the police btw it was the car in the middle that did and then it cost me money to get the police report plus the transportation fee for lyft was not cheap and then never ever tell the other people your weakness in which they can take advantage of you and the communications between these three people were very very difficult it was so fucking stressful i remember every time my phone rang i just wanted to cry and i could listerally feel my body tense up just looking at my screen so afraid to open it but i can’t not open it because thats irresponsible of me anyway it was a big big big lesson i learned and something that i wish it was better managed but life happens and it’s not always going to be smooth-sailing and im just glad that i learned my lesson 

im already getting tense again just writing about this x.x

i do have to say it definitely helped that i was able to distract myself with work at the optometry (shoutout to allison) for the hookup because it gave me the experience and i know now that i do not want to do optometry no longer which i’ve been thinking about since the previous summer and the lesson i learned from this is that never ever go into something without knowing what its going to be about what i mean by this is that never make a big decision until you hae some experience and know that you like or hate it or don’t like it 

after working and saving money and spending money i made it to taiwan and literally within the first two weeks i already spent half of my money that i thought would less me for three months which it really should i actually have no freaking idea where all my money went and that’s on my part not keeping track of my money in the first place but then i was so 亂七八糟 when i arrived in taiwan and now that i know i’ve been keeping track of my expense and it literally does not make sense that all of the money i exchanged was gone within the first two weeks according to the expense that i keep track of now it’s been like three weeks and i havent even used up all of that money i lost in the first two weeks so i literally dont know what happened but it’s okay life goes on and now i know to always keep an eye and not be like so fucking careless

but let’s put in some good stuff i’ve bene listening to hyukoh and offonoff and i’ve been really loving that life if only i could see hyukoh live twice in los angeles and arcadia damnit im so fucking mad but it’s okay life goes on and i know i’ll have another chance to see them

and i’ve been watching hyori’s bed and breakfast and it’s been very therauptic to me and i aspire to have a life like her

currently listening to paul and it gives me soul 

anyway before i restarted writing this whole thing i wrote about my feelings of being on study abroad and to be completely honest, i dont feel that im on study abroad like is that strange is that manatory to feel buecasuse everyone talked about how they’re on study abroad and feels like a new environment but like to me taiwan literally feels like another home that i haven’t been in a long time like is it because im asian and i was born in asia that i feel this way or am i just recognizing my feelings and emotions in the wrong way and when i see snaps of my other friends on study abroad esp the ones in europe im just like wow they’re on study abroad but i dont efeel like im on studsy abroad even though i really am and this computer is so fucking slow rign now it cant catch up to what im typing 

i’ve talked to nick about this feeling before and it’s just really strange like is our feelings normal like i need validations that this is okay too because i didnt expect it to be like this 

i really like my classmates and my class and my teacher i love all of them and we have a good vibe and get along really well and the classroom is set up int he way you know what’s coming so i like that structure and i love how we listen to music and get off topics sometimes it makes class really fun and the teacher tries to do it liek that too 

as for the poeople in my program well i basically hang out  around soka people like nick sumire and ryan almost all the time which is kind of good and kind of not good at the same time like i know i should be going out and seeing other poeple but at the same time i like being in the comfort of them and tbh if it wasn’t for them i really would have a breakdown and im really greatful that they’re here and nccu kind of feels like soka if i dont get out of the routine that im in and so i really need to make an effort to go out like i really felt that last week and i was like shit this is soka all over again like nccu is literally surrounded by nature like all the greens and it’s so nice i’ve been way too lin love with the color forest green and nature green so it’s nice 

also if nick wasn’t here i dont think i’ll be doing crazy things like biking to fucking danshui at 1am in the morning and pulling an all nighter and shit or like pulling another allnighter that one tiem we went out to drink and ryan was so fucking drunk okay he wasnt drunk but he wasnt’ feeling well enough to go back to school so we fucking waited on the sidewalk for 4:30 until he felt better and i actually liek the dynamics of the four of us nick, sumire, ryan and me i think there’s a good balance and enough craziness and enough practicalness you couls prob tell whos the crazy one and who’s the practical one lol 

and i’ve realized that i’ve been more carefree and give less shit and just been enjoying life to the fullest dont know if its because im in taiwan but if it is then i hope i can still be as joyful and as carefree back in america and just life life and whatever happens happens for a reason and don’t get too stuck on life liek that tattoo i got was tehe whole meaning of this hahahaha

and i miss all my friends and sometimes something always reminds me of them and it just makes me 想念他們 but it’s okay because i know i will see them so try not to think too hard about it bc taiwan wil be gone sooner than i think and i dont want to have regrets 

and im in a really cute cafe with katie and winnie and i just snap-videoed my best friend bitch she should be asleep but she wasn’t but i’ll let her be bc it’s her last weekend before school starts for her and between today and yesterday i videoed friends like thuy, hung jet, dayoon, megan, and lucy and rachel and it makes me happy to see them living their lives