#errr stand up

[fixing-bad-posts]

You have a broken sense of humor.

only as much as the average tumblr user

[luxurysystems]

Me when I say "I'm omw"

[haveihitanerve]

My favorite thing about the bats is that… they are gothamites. And sure they scare the shit out of people… but they are in Gotham. Superman is loved by his people, Flash is adored, people pray to Wonder Woman, Green Arrow is feared. But the Bats? The Bats are like all of Gotham's weird older brothers/sisters/parents. Superman and Green Lantern are visiting Batman in Gotham and all of a sudden he gets smacked in the face by a banana and they turn and find a group of teens skateboarding away and one kid calls over his shoulder ‘eat the fucking potassium you absolute brick.’ and Batman doesn't even do anything. Barry is chilling with Nightwing when a girl runs beneath the building they are sitting on and screams “Nice ass Night! But get it the fuck down here, my cats stuck in a tree.” And Nightwing does a flip off the building and just?? helps her?? Wonder Woman and Black Canary are passing through Crime Alley on their way to the Batcave and spot Red Hood standing in an alley, being lectured by a woman who is half his size and she ends the lecture by throwing two sandwiches at his face and walking away. Red Hood just takes his hood off and starts eating. Superboy is helping Red Robin defeat Scarecrow and while they’re hiding, waiting for him to walk into their trap, RR is casually conversing with a Gothamite about Hogwarts Houses, and when he says the Gothamite looks like a Gryfindor he pops his head out and screams “Yo scarecrow hes right fucking here!” J’onn is heading to the Manor to discuss League business with Bruce when he spots Robin(Damian) fighting Riddler all alone and is about to intervene when three teenagers show up and just fucking deck him instead. Damian doesn't thank them, just glowers, and one of the guys goes “you're welcome you fucking brat.” And the girl even smacks the back of his head and goes “manners.” Clark is sent to go find Tim and Steph and Damian and finds them at this girls birthday party, in full costume, eating cupcakes and drinking punch, jumping on the bouncy house and is like “errr, B-Batman needs you home.” And as one the entire birthday party group went “Fuck Batman.” Spoiler was spotted painting these guys nails, Black Bat was seen teaching calculus to a group of teenagers, Batgirl(Babs) was running after a group of kids screaming “Give me back my laptop you fucks!” Just- just the batfamily and Gothamites being annoying to each other and appreciative yet bitches. 

Bus driver: stop getting thrown at my fucking bus, i got places to be and my insurance only covers so many shatter windshields and person sized dents  Batman: I don't really control where I get thrown Bus Driver: well you better fucking start otherwise theres gonna be another fucking villain on these streets *drives away and almost runs him over* Superman: *gaping* yo-you're just gonna let him do that? Batman: *shrugs* Gotham insurance aint what its cracked up to be Superman: *staring dumbly*

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One of Rock Star Eddie and Baker Steve wrong number AU

Link to Part Two

Eddie's got dubious history with picture messages. Only a very small group of people have his number, considering he's the front man of a multimillion best selling metal band, he doesn't ever want his number to be public knowledge.

So yeah, picture message from and unknown number? Dubious.

Eddie's had enough dick and...vag...pics in his time that he, honestly, doesn't really want another. But when the picture is followed by a message, "were you thinking something like this?"

Well, Eddie's a curious guy. So, committing himself to the idea that this might be new number time, again, he opens the message.

To be confronted with a cake. A really fucking cool cake actually, it's got a car dashing around a muddy track on top with a big '5' in the middle. All of it looks edible, made out of...cake stuff. Eddie has no idea what it is, but it looks delicious.

"One layer chocolate, one layer red velvet? I can do any combination of flavours you want."

Well. Eddie isn't anything but impulsive and he was trying to figure out what the fuck to do for the 'quiet' celebration they were planning for going platinum. Again.

"I think you have the wrong number'" Eddie types, "but I definitely want to order a cake from you."

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, unsolicited cake pics are the worst 😉"

And Eddie can't help it, he laughs, and types back, "if I told you I wanted three tiers of the darkest, spookiest, cherry chocolate what would you come up with?"

It takes a couple of minutes, but Eddie's phone pings twice in quick succession, the first picture is of a spooky orange cake clearly Halloween themed, covered in ghosts and skeletons and stuff. The second is jet black and has a coffin on top that looks like it's leaking green corrosive stuff and Eddie nearly throws his phone in excitement. "That! The second one!"

"🤣 that's an old pic, I was just starting out then, but everything is edible, the green slime is made out of jello"

"Where are you based and can you make it for the 15th? I'll get a courier to collect."

"Sure thing, how many portions? And I need a deposit up front. I'll do chocolate ganache and cherry filling."

"Errr...like, 150? Maybe?"

Eddie sits and watches as the dots appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and then there's a pic.

It's a selfie of the most beautiful man he's ever seen. And he's standing in a kitchen, holding a cake pan. Suddenly Eddie's phone is ringing in his hand and he is panicking because beautiful man is calling him. "Hello?"

"Hey, man, it's Steve, the cake guy?". Eddie assumes he makes an affirmative noise because Steve keeps talking, "anyway, that cake pan I'm holding is literally the largest one I own, even if I did three tiers, no way will it cater that many, I'm a small business, you know, it's just me. I can recommend you some companies I know would do a great job."

But then, Eddie will never get to talk to beautiful man ever again, "what if you made like, three cakes?". He asks desperately.

There's a long beat of silence on the phone, "I mean, in theory, I mean, it might cost you more than-"

"I'll pay it. I'll pay double, for, inconvenience, or whatever-"

And oh no, beautiful man has the most beautiful laugh too. Eddie's fucked. He's so fucked.

"I'll raise you, two cakes and fifty muffins?" Steve laughs again, and Eddie laughs right along with him.

Steve grabs his phone when it pings, hoping for Eddie. It is Eddie. It's a selfie from the neck down, like always, Steve still doesn't know what the guy looks like, but Eddie's wearing a deep red shirt that he's clearly just dumped a whole cup of coffee down, "hope your days going better than mine, sweetheart,"

Steve sends back a selfie with a lump of uncooperative modelling fondant in the background, "that depends, can you tell what this is supposed to be?"

Steve's pretty sure it's wierd to talk to a customer every day, but he's started to find he's looking forward to Eddie's messages. Even when they turn flirty. Especially when they turn flirty, maybe.

And maybe it's not exactly professional that Steve's found a lot of reasons to call Eddie. He just, needs to get this right, and if Eddie wants chocolate covered cherries on the cupcakes, well, Steve needs to call him and check, right? Right.

Steve heads out into the lounge with flour on his nose and a mixing bowl under his arm, Dustin, Lucas and Max are sprawled on the couch, El lying on the floor. He can hear Mike and Will fucking around outside. He spoons up some cherry mixture, "hey will you try-"

"Shhhhhhhh!"

Well. Rude. Steve looks to the interview they're watching on the TV. It's some metal band Steve vaguely recognises, and when the lead guy speaks...Steve has to sit down. Because that sounds a lot like-

"So, Eddie," the show host guy starts, and Steve's knees would go weak of he wasn't already sitting down. He's certain his stomach has left the building. "Seeing anyone?"

Eddie laughs, says no, but the band mate next to him makes a show of nudging Eddie and sharing a look.

The host picks up on it immediately, "so there is someone," Eddie's still shaking his head, but he's got a shy smile on his face that makes Steve feel like he's melting. "Come on Eddie, give us something."

"It's not a thing," Eddie flaps his hands, "don't make it a thing."

"Oh it's a thing alright," the audience laugh, "come on, give us something!"

Eddie looks uncomfortable for a second before shrugging, "they, uhm, they make the most amazing cakes you've ever seen."

[fayes-fics]

Absolution

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: After an argument, Benedict seeks forgiveness.

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI. Sub!Benedict, domme!reader, established relationship. Strip tease, slight begging, praise, massage, sexual tension.

Word Count: 2.0k

Authors Note: Anon request fill from HERE, where sub!Benedict begs reader to let him touch her. I'm not sure this is begging enough for you, Nonny, but it's what my muse chose - and after being unable to write for 2 months, I went with it. I hope that's okay. Unbetaed, cos if I ask someone to read this, I will chicken out of posting it. Errr, enjoy?

You feel as much as you see him—a hovering, hesitant presence in the doorway.

“May I… join you?” 

His request is sotto voce, tinged with a gauzy hope that pulls your attention, eyes flicking to his reflection in the mottled glass of your vanity table mirror.

“You are not yet forgiven….” 

Your response is a touch sharp, perhaps, as you restart your motions, untangling your hair with an ornate silver brush, the bitter edge of your dispute still ringing in your ears, even now, hours later. Yet there’s a metallic taste of victory on the tip of your tongue that he is the one attempting to broker the peace between you. 

“Understood.” 

Benedict nods, stepping fully into the bedroom now, the door clicking closed behind him as he continues talking. 

“Perhaps I may find another way to apologise?” 

He bows his head, lacing his fingers together loosely in front of him as he looks upon you through his lashes—a gentle, reproachful demeanour that softens the sharper edges of your irritation. After a beat, you twist around and stand up, moving towards him, the silk of your night robe a balm on your flushed skin, your body reacting to him in this room as it always does, despite what has transpired, something very Pavlovian about it. His light eyes seem to dance with the reflective candlelight from the nearby sconce as you stop just beyond touching distance.

“What are you proposing?” 

You don't miss the way his gaze is drawn to the pull of fabric taut over the swell of your breast as you cross your arms, perhaps still a shade defensive.

“I seek absolution…” 

His words are a sighed exhale, eyes pleading. You know precisely what he is referring to—that power dynamic play that neither of you can resist. And sure enough, a twitch of a smile ghosts over your lips in spite of yourself.

“And will you do as I tell you?” 

You don't mean your voice to be quite so throaty, but the rapid dilation of his pupils and the jump of the vein in his neck speaks volumes.

“I will do anything for you…” His murmur draws attention to his pink, damp, plush, distracting bottom lip as if he has bitten it for your delectation. “My Lady.” It’s a goading, blatant addition, an invitation you are powerless to turn down, especially when he looks at you like that, all large pupils and quivering lip.

“Strip for me,” you command, a surge of want in your veins as his lip quirks up, his hands flying to his buttons instinctively. 

You watch greedily as he fights off the cropped jacket, and his dextrous fingers start to pluck at the pearl buttons upon his paisley silk waistcoat. He is always so exquisitely wrapped in jewel-toned fabrics that it seems nearly a shame to ask him to remove them. As both items fall to the thick rug with an audible thump, you take a step to the side and sit in a comfortable chair in the corner of your bedchamber. You cross your legs, enjoying the bob of his Adam's apple as your legs are revealed through the parting of your robe. He has probably correctly guessed you are naked underneath; a keen flare of his nostrils as you sit back to get comfortable, gesturing for him to continue. 

You lick your lips reflexively as you watch his elegant hands unwind his soft gold cravat, the candlelight catching the signet ring upon his little finger as he throws it to the floor and takes a step towards you, a nascent trace of that troublesome smirk toying at the corner of his lips.

“All of it, Benedict,” you warn, taking the upper hand as he seems to be advancing upon you still in his boots, shirt and trousers. 

He stops short when he is a couple of paces away, close enough you can scent his cologne but too far to touch—perhaps an intentional tease. He will sometimes push up against your boundaries, that cheeky nature flaring under those beseeching, wanton looks. He follows your command, though, your skin flushing as he obediently pulls off his boots and tosses them aside haphazardly.

He takes another half-step forward, watching your eyes tracking the movement of his hands as he pushes down his braces, bouncing once on the outside of his upper thigh as they fall. Subconsciously, you squeeze your thighs together, tamping down the pulse of arousal, the sensual tension between you already heady and delicious, thick in the air, despite so many crossed words earlier.

“May I touch you, My Lady?” 

His soft, yielding tone makes a thrill prickle across your scalp, but your tongue is still sharp with a barb.

“Earn it.”

His eyes flash at your challenge, and there is a flutter behind your ribs—you are as under his thrall now as he is yours. 

And then he does something that makes your body surge with want. He suddenly buckles to his knees before you, looking up at you imploringly again through those long lashes.

“How may I earn it, My Lady?” 

His ask is tender even as he makes short work of the buttons of his frilled shirt, kneeling temptingly beyond your kneecaps.

“I am still awaiting your fulfilment of my last command…” Your response is accompanied by a raised eyebrow, emphasising your point. Benedict is indeed still in shirt and trousers, although the shirt now hands lose from his broad shoulders, framing that lithe, toned torso.

“And once I am naked, what then, My Lady?” 

“Patience, my love…”

Your tone is portentous, but you don't miss how something warm melts in his expressive eyes at the term of affection. His shirt sails down onto the rug, his movements carrying more urgency than before, keen to here your subsequent plans for him, no doubt. 

With him still upon his knees, your breath quickens as he reaches for the buttons of his trousers, knowing as you do what lies beneath. Indeed as the front falls away, you are unsurprised to see he is without underwear as usual, a thatch of dark hair teasing before his cock springs free before you, you canting yourself forward slightly to see.

As he pushes the trousers down around his bent knees, you see the little half smile, noticing your lean-in, your eager stance to see him nude as requested—the flash of that playful nature, which makes his obedience so much more delicious. Your eyes focus upon the constellation of freckles upon his left shoulder as he does, temporarily transfixed by the play of muscle under his skin as he fights off his trousers the rest of the way while still on his knees. His triumphant huff and hurling aside of the item snaps you back from your short reverie, and indeed, what a sight it is to behold. A beautiful, toned, naked man before you on his knees, raptly awaiting your next word, his smooth chest rising and falling a little with shortened breaths of anticipation.

“My lady…” he prompts, but there is a trace of prideful preening, knowing he has you captivated, your legs uncrossing reflexively as you lean in further, your eyes drinking in the sight before you, his gaze falling briefly to your lap, hoping for a glance under your ribe.

“You may touch my feet, my love,” you offer, and you let out a ragged sigh as those large hands cup your arch and a thumb presses into a sensitive spot that makes you collapse back, putty in his hands already. 

“Thank you, my lady; I hope I can soothe you…”

His light whisper falls onto your skin like feathers, your eyelids fluttering shut as his hands work their magic upon your feet. Indeed, you have been promenading today and his assured touch seems the perfect salve to the ache of miles walked. Tension drains through the soles of your feet as he works. 

Before you know it, his hands have moved up, and you do not protest as he starts to massage your ankles and the lower part of your calves. Your whole leg becomes less stiff, your eyes still closed, breathe deep and even until he makes a sharp inhale that has your eyelids flying apart.

In your relaxed state your thighs have parted, and your robe following suit. His heated gaze is upon the thatch of hair at the apex of your thighs, not yet open enough to betray how aroused you truly are.

“You may not touch.”

It's a clipped statement, an attempt to wrestle control when he had you compliant under his touch. A slight pout claims his handsome face as if hoping a puppy dog expression will make you yield.

“You are the most beautiful creature, please, please, My Lady…”

“Not yet,” you modify, his adulation weakening your resolve a touch.

He massages your left calf muscle, placing your foot upon the warm fuzz of his bent quad muscle, feeling the warmth emanating from his nearby cock, a temptation you resist moving your foot to brush against. But you can no longer tamp down the need to moan gently as your body responds to his expert touch. It makes his fingers dig into your flesh temporarily, and you hear him take a steadying breath, knowing he is fighting his desire to pick you up and take you to the bed—a desire raging just as brightly in you.

And so, as if catharsis for your earlier argument, you tease him more. Begin to writhe slightly in your seat, an undulation that inches your foot higher on his thigh, your toes curling into his flesh there as your noises become less restrained, his touch heavier, still soothing but with an undercurrent of urgency that speaks of pent-up passion. You can almost feel the increase in his heartbeat, the blood thrumming through his body, his cock no doubt leaking even though you dare not glance at it—too tempting a prospect, wanting to elongate this tease, this foreboding simmering between you ratcheting up the tension between you.

“You are heaven itself, My Lady, I live to bring you succour….”

There is nothing like his lilting, wanton poetic praise. When his hands round your kneecaps, you let him continue higher, dextrous hands cupping your lower thigh and squeezing the tension from your muscles there. His breath is laboured as the movement parts your legs, and he can see what he has wrought, a glistening warmth you can feel deliciously as the cooler air swirls between your now parted thighs.

“Please, My Lady…. Please let me touch you there…”

His tone is broken now, fawning words tumbling from him between deep breaths as if scenting you, his whole body tilted over your lower half, looking up at you from your lap, supplicant arousal humming in his being, feeling the heat of his cock against your toenails as he leans in.

“Undress me.” your voice a breathy whisper.

The tiny noise of victory he makes has your heart skipping a beat as his fingers instantly fly to the sash, holding your robe cinched at your waist. Watching him work through a hooded gaze and a fluttering chest as he unloops the knot and then, as if unwrapping the most precious gift, parts the material from around your body, pulling it down from around your shoulders until you are as naked as him.

“My Lady…..”

It's a stuttering, wrecked sigh, trembling hands ghosting over the quivering of your stomach, your ribs—not touching without permission, but still making your pulse race, your skin tingle. And you hunger for him like nothing else, uncaring of the disagreement you had earlier, irritation and pride usurped by the burning need you have for him as much as he has for you.

And so you relent.

“You may touch me anywhere, my love.”

Your greenlight has him almost howling, and before you know it, you are scooped up from the chair and carried to the bed, his body flexing deliciously against yours, your lips meeting in a hungry, inelegant kiss, tongues tangling. Words of apology will come later—after your bodies have what they crave.

Benedict taglist pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Emily: “I’m really sorry Vaggie didn’t feel comfortable coming back here. If there’s anything I can do to change that-”

Charlie: “Probably not! It was kinda a sign of her endless love for me that she visited haven again at all!”

Emily: “Oh! Oh that’s nice!!”

Charlie: “Which I NEVER would have asked her to do anyway, if I’d KNOWN the truth about her history up here!”

Emily: “Right. I’m so sorry about that too, by the-”

Charlie: “I mean, I’m not the kind of girl who askes her girlfriend to go spend an afternoon sitting across from the people who ripped off her wings! And her eye! And left her slumped against a dumpster looking half dead!”

Emily: “A… dumpster?”

Charlie: “Making the woman you love relive all that without even rEALIZING it would be pretty fucked up, wouldn’t it??”

Emily: “V- very.”

Charlie: “IT HYPOTHETICALLY COULD MAKE SOMEONE FEEL KINDA TERRIBLE AFTERWARDS, DON’T YOU THINK?”

Emily: “I’m sure it did!”

Charlie: “H Y P O T H E T I C A L L Y”

Emily: “Could! I could see that, yes, if it HAD happened, that would’ve been…”

Emily: “…”

Emily: “Are you- um, is she, errr.. doing better now?”

Charlie: “SO much better she’s doing SO great these days!!!!”

IN HELL

Vaggie: (lying face down on the hotel lobby floor) “I promise I won’t stop helping you morons when she dumps me. I won’t let her dream die just because I was dumb enough to think I could be part of it.”

Angel Dust: “That’s nice toots.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Angel Dust: “Not sad or stupidly gay or anythin’.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Cherri Bomb: “Sad? Angie, it’s perfect!” (takes picture) “I’ve been thinking this place could use a new rug…”

Niffty: (stepping on vaggie) “Squishy!”

Husk: “Get the fuck off her.” (at vaggie) “You, get the fuck UP.”

Vaggie: “Why.”

Alastor: “Hmmm, because this is PAINFULLY pathetic to watch, even for me?”

Vaggie: “Guess I’ll be here forever then.”

Angel Dust: “Vag-GAY c’mon, ya girlfirend’s not gonna dump ya. What’s the competition even!?”

Vaggie: “There’s an angel up in heaven who's helping Charlie work towards her life long dreams as we speak, and she's taller than me, got more wings than me, not as stabby as me, and also not a mass murderer or a liar or missing an eye.”

Cherri Bomb: "Hey!"

Vaggie: "No offence to the other one-eyed ladies here, but it's different when you've got a fucked up empty eye socket."

Niffty: (sighs dreamily) "I bet losing it hurt soooo baaaaad..."

Vaggie: "Never telling my girlfriend why I'd actually lost it or how it made me look like the deranged murder angel I was, even while she tried kissing it better for me, ended up hurting way worse."

Angel Dust: “That's a point….”

Angel Dust: “...alright, so Charlie’s PROBABLY not gonna dump ya-”

Niffty: “Oh that’s a weird sound!” (giggling) (bounces on vaggie) “I think she’s dying~”

Husk: “If you fucks kill her, I’m telling her demon princess girlfriend and pouring myself a drink to go with your fucking tormented howls.”

Vaggie: (muffled) “what if she’s my ex-girlfriend”

Husk: “…I’ll pour you a fucking drink and listen to your tormented howls.”

Niffty: “ME TOO I’LL LISTEN TOO!”

Alastor: “Dear one, perhaps if you were NOT standing on her skull and compressing her WRETCHED cries into the floor, we could be hearing them already.”

Niffty: “Whoops~ Heheheeh~”

Cherri Bomb: (recording it) “Damn, that groan’s been going on for ages… Bitch has some lung capacity on her.”

Angel Dust: “Point one for Vag-gay! Probs as good eating out as ya are at HOLDING out on ya girl!!!”

Vaggie: “uuuughhh…uaauuugghhaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaahhhhrrrgh..” (whimpers)

Niffty: “Okay.” (GIGGLES) “NOW she’s dying~” (bounces)

IN HEAVEN

Charlie: “Everything’s totally fine I have NO idea why you’d even ASK!”

Emily: “You’ve spent the entire time up here staring at pictures of Vaggie on your phone?”

Charlie: “I’m allowed to look at my girlfriend!”

Emily: “While crying and sniffling into your sleeve?”

Charlie: (sobbing) (desperately patting down her jacket) “SHE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHICH OF MY POCKETS HAS THE HANDKERCHIEF IN IT, OKAY??”

Emily: (smiling) “I think you two are going to be just fine.”

Charlie: (BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY INTO JACKET SLEEVE, which catches on FIRE)

Emily: “…..not your clothes, though. You might need a new set of those.”

[casiia]

virgin!ethan landry buying condoms before attending a party with chad (idk this would be so funny and awkward😭😭😭)

[ 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢���𝐠 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐞 ੈ✩‧₊˚]

pairing .: ethan landry x reader

genre .: suggestive

word count .: 3k

warnings .: suggestive content (minors dni.), female reader, alcohol indulgence, dry humping 

author's note .: SORRY NO SMUT! just a lot of plot! but i had soo much fun writing this, whoever requested this i think you’re so funny! i originally was going to add smut but lack of motivation. my little nerd boy psycho getting teased by shirtless farmer chad makes me giggle. but i hope you guys love this as much as i do because i’m giggling soso bad. also i don’t have a dick i’ve never bought condoms b4 so i tried my best errr. also also guys please b careful when drinking at parties. this is just a lot of plot and lowkey ethan x chad (im slash jay) but if enough people want it i will write smut in a part 2. 

© casiia 2023 DO NOT REPOST OR PLAGIARIZE MY WORK

“wait why are you turning? we’re supposed to go down this street for another light.”

the muted sound of rain echoes inside the car; droplets of water splattering against the fogged windshield blurred the bright traffic lights, a mixture of green and red reflecting against the dash.

“pitstop. gotta pick up some stuff.” chad taps his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently – waiting for the light to turn green. his thumb smooths over the grooves that were engraved in the leather, frustration threatening to expose from his composed state. “get the fuck off your phone! go, the light is green.”

“pick up stuff? not drugs, right…?” ethan looks up from his phone, his illuminated screen lighting his features from the shadows of the night. with a buzz, he focuses his attention back to his device. a smile graces his lips as he reads over your notification, fingers moving quick to type a response to you. 

“no, not drugs. condoms.”

adjusting the seat belt that suddenly became uncomfortable around his neck, ethan swallows thickly,  a blush creeping onto his cheeks. “oh.”

“i mean, you’re gonna need them. i doubt nothing’s gonna happen between you and her tonight.” pulling into the lot, chad cheekily smiles over to his friend, playfully hitting his arm.

“w-what? we aren’t anything serious, i don’t think she looks at me like that.” leaning towards the window to escape chad’s ruthless teasing, he resisted the urge to check the notification that had vibrated his phone – knowing it was from you.

“she definitely does, she’s always giving you that look.” throwing his hands up in gratitude when he found a parking spot, chad carefully pulled into the tight spot. “you guys are so annoying, everyone can see it but you two.”

“what look?” unbuckling his seat belt with a click, ethan chews on his bottom lip to stop the smile that threatened to show on his face. 

“the ‘i want to fuck you’ look.” turning the engine off with the twist of a key, chad unbuckles and climbs out of the car. “just fuck already, what’s stopping you.” watching ethan take off the cardboard helmet of his costume, he chuckles lightly. “i mean, she wants to fuck a guy dressed up as a cardboard robot.”

“hey. it’s from that movie murder party, and maybe put on a shirt before you comment on my costume.” opening the passenger door, ethan reaches into the back seat, grabbing a plain white tank and tossing it to the shirtless farmer standing in the drizzling rain. 

“oh right.”

“i don’t think there is a ‘fuck me look’ i think you’re thinking way into things.” stepping out and shutting the door, ethan stuffs his phone and wallet into his back pocket, walking towards the pharmacy with long strides to avoid the rain.

“what would you know, you’re a virgin.” locking the car with a loud beep, chad swings his lanyard around his fingers, letting his keys jangle against each other carelessly. laughing loudly when he catches a glimpse of ethan’s shocked expression, he holds his hands out in reassurance. “well i mean, after tonight you won’t be.”

“i’m not gonna do anything with her unless she wants me to.” walking past the automated doors, he waits for chad to walk in front of him, not wanting to waste time and lead the two into the wrong aisle. 

“well of course, but it’s better to be safe than sorry at the end of the night. don’t wanna get her pregnant or anything.” chad grins, walking towards an aisle in the back – almost too easily, like he’s been here a million times. 

“right. how do you…put one on?” glancing at the many colorful boxes to his left, he clears his throat when turning to his right, staring at the shelf of the pregnancy test. 

“open the wrapper, careful not to rip it that’s important, then just slide it on. if it’s that much trouble just ask the girl.” chad hums to the music playing overhead in the store, squatting down to get a peak at the bottom shelves. 

“oh, okay. what about lube, think i’ll need that?” eyeing the different brands of condoms, he  feels his phone buzz again, the weight of his phone all of a sudden feeling heavy in his pants. 

2 messages from angel girl

ethan smiles at the notifications, quickly swiping into his phone to answer you. warmth bubbles in his chest as he replies, watching his message turn from sent to read in just a second.

“hey, are you listening to me?” 

“huh?” looking up from his phone, his smile drops, snapping out of his dazed state.

“i said, lube is a waste of money. just use spit, works the same if you can also get her wet.” picking up a box of magnums, chad stands from his squatted position, patting out the creases in his pants before heading to the register. “there’s nothing to be worried about, bro. just make sure you focus when it happens, stay in the moment. the usual.”

“mhm.” now very anxious, ethan trails behind his roommate with twisted fingers. “maybe i should take the costume off?” picking at the hem of his shirt under the cardboard vest, he laughs awkwardly; imagining you taking his ridiculous costume off before climbing under the blankets had him shaking his head.

“maybe just keep the helmet, can’t not dress up at a halloween party.” grabbing his wallet from his pocket once they reached the self checkout machines, he scanned the box before swiping his card. “we should go, mindy’s been on my ass.”

the two of them ran to the car, seeking shelter from the rain that turned from a light drizzle to a thundering pour. ethan ran his hands through his hair, combing his damp brown hair out of his face. leaning back into the leather seat with a huff, he groaned dragging his hands down his cheeks, the cardboard around his chest stiffening his movements. 

slipping his arms into the cut out holes, he shimmied the fake armor over his head and let it clumsily fall into the back seat. memories of you and him making the costume made him frown; he thought back to how pretty you look with ruffled hair, sitting on his bedroom floor in only pajamas, cutting away at the cardboard material with kid scissors, cursing at him when he accidentally cut out of the traced lines.

the loud crinkle of plastic strips him of his thoughts, chad loudly tearing into the box. “take a few. i’m just gonna leave the box in the car…for later.” 

“think you’re gonna end up with tara tonight?” ethan teases with a smirk. picking at the golden packs, he holds them up to the window, letting the plastic shine against the dull streetlight. 

“shut up, now strap in. we’re already late i cannot take another text from mindy.”

the far-off sound of music caught ethan’s attention as chad pulled into the neighborhood, a variety of cars piled into the driveway and along the street, lights flashing from the windows inside the house. 

grabbing his poorly made helmet made of cardboard, he slipped it over his head, making sure it sat comfortably and evenly on top of his hair.

“did tara tell you what she was gonna wear?” checking his phone for your notification, ethan frowned slightly when finding out you had left him on read. he was only a few paces from the house, where he would soon find you. although the more he thought of you, the more the nerves began to eat at him. would you even want to sleep with him, what if he was going to make a fool of himself – what if you friendzoned him. rubbing his forehead with a sigh, he stuffed a few condoms into his pockets, his heart beating out of his chest. 

“pirate i think, wanted to match but it was too last minute. what about your girl?” making sure the car was locked after they had got out, chad shoves his keys into his pants, letting the lanyard hang within view. 

“she didn’t want to tell me, said it was gonna be a surprise.” feeling his heartbeat in his ears, ethan balled his fist tightly, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands. he didn’t want to mess things up with you, he was scared – scared that he would mess things up and lose the best person that had ever shown up in his life. 

“relax, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“i’m trying, i’m just nervous. i don’t want things to go the wrong way tonight, what if i misread her.” stopping outside the door, he could hear the roar of music, walls vibrating with each base drop. the faint smell of marijuana and alcohol tickled his nose, his face churning immediately at the unpleasant smell. 

“whatever happens is for a reason, don’t make sex your first priority. if she wants to fuck you, which im sure she does, she’ll make it clear. stop worrying.” chad places a hand on the brunette’s shoulder, squeezing comfortably. 

“right. make sure i don’t drink too much? i actually want to remember this night.” taking one last deep breath, ethan turns the knob on the door, finally arriving at the party. an overwhelming amount of people crowded the kitchen, abandoned red solo cups lingering all over the house. 

pushing through the crowd of people with curt apologies, ethan scanned over the horde of tipsy college students, looking for your face in the midst of it all. relaxing a bit when he saw anika in the corner of the room with mindy, he glanced over his shoulder to see if chad was following him before nudging his way through to his friends across the room.

“where have you guys been? i thought we agreed to be here 45 minutes ago!” mindy throws exasperated hands in the air, eyebrows raised mockingly.

“traffic. where’s y/n?” frowning when he didn’t see you amongst the other girls, he turned back to the kitchen to see if you were stuffed in there.

“she was here a second ago.i  think she went to ask tara if she knew where you were, but honestly who knows where that little pirate could be.” anika shrugs lightly at the question, repositioning her legs over her girlfriend’s. “what’s going on with you two anyways?”

“noth-”

“ethan?” 

spinning on his heel at the sound of your voice, he can’t help but let a smile paint his lips. his voice catching in his throat when he sees you, he drops his arms to his side. jaw dropping ever so slightly, he couldn’t stop the way he looked you up and down, engraving your image in the back of his mind.

you were head to toe in white; high socks that squeezed the fat of your thighs, a white mini skirt  that just barely covered the curve of your ass, a semi see through corset, and to top it all off – a pair of small feathery wings that sat on your exposed shoulders.

“an angel.”

“surprise! where’s the rest of your costume? we worked so hard on it.” stepping closer to him to fix his lopsided helmet, you brushed hair out of his eyes with a pout. 

“left it in the car, didn’t want it to get ruined or anything.” looking down at you with a smile, he lets his hands wander to your hips; his thumbs caressing your skin just above the waistline of your short mini skirt. 

“oh, that’s a shame. you looked so cute in it.” pinching his cheeks in a playful manner, you bit your lip with a laugh, watching him squirm away from you. “let’s get a drink, i’ve been waiting for you.”

grabbing his hand in your left, you intertwined your fingers together, pulling him to the crowded kitchen. half filled bottles and empty plastic cups littered the marble countertop, a sticky residue sheening over the surface of the table. 

“hm, i think there’s enough for a couple shots.” 

letting go of his hand but still keeping him close, you leaned over the island to grab cups; unscrewing the cap of a half empty vodka bottle, you chewed your lip in concentration, completely eyeballing the amount of liquor you poured into the plastic cup. 

“bottoms up, baby!” bringing the cup up to your lips, you cringed lightly, the smell of alcohol making your eyes water. squeezing your eyes shut tightly, you tilted your head back letting the liquid flow into your mouth before swallowing. shaking your head with a groan, you stuck your tongue out feeling the booze burn down your throat, almost instantly warming your chest. “so gross.”

ethan hesitated before drinking the foul smelling alcohol, coughing abruptly afterwards. “not worth it.” hearing you laugh at him, he teasingly shoved your shoulder with a soft smile. “do you think…we could talk?”

“we’re talking right now, pretty boy.” starting to pour another round of shots, you briefly glanced up at him at his silence. “is something wrong?” 

“nothing’s wrong, i just meant talk in private.” taking off his fake helmet, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck – patiently waiting for you to finish taking another shot before replying.

“let’s go upstairs.” wiping your lips with the back of your hand, you tossed your now empty cups in the trash before grabbing his wrist and pulling him through the house. music blaring uncomfortably in your ear, you took in your surroundings before leaving; people at every inch of the house, a line forming for the bathroom, corners where couples made out, and a couch where all of your friends sat. catching chad’s eye, he gave you a knowing smirk while raising his eyebrows. flipping him off in return, you squeezed ethan’s wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs and to an empty bedroom. 

ethan tried his hardest not to look up your skirt while you walked in front of him, but of course he failed. he caught a glimpse of your undergarments – pretty pink panties with a white lace lining the edges. swallowing his guilt, he shifted his gaze back to the ground, fearing that he would get worked up the longer he stared. “do you know where you’re going?”

“not in the slightest, but it’s a big house, there’s bound to be one more vacant bedroom.” jiggling the knobs of each door, you giggled quietly hearing the muted moans from inside occupied rooms. “oh here.” twisting the handle and peeking inside, you opened the door for him when deeming it was clear. 

closing and locking the door behind you, you made your way over to the bed, sitting on the edge with your hands neatly folded in your lap. “what’s on your mind? you’re kinda scaring me.” 

dropping his costume prop near the door, ethan covered his face, groaning into his hands before finally piling up enough courage to look you in the eye. “what are we?”

“what do you mean?” furrowing your brows with an awkward laugh, you could feel heat creep up your neck, the liquor settling in your stomach. 

“you’re always calling me these names, and touching me in ways you don’t do with anyone else. i just want to know if you’re playing with me.” sitting next to you on the bed, he kept a fair distance respecting your boundaries. “i like you a lot. more than i want to, i need to know if you feel the same.”

“i-” sighing loudly with shaky hands, you shifted your position, sitting on your knees while facing him. the hem of your skirt creeping up your thighs as you sat back. “i like you too, i just didn’t know how to tell you.” crawling closer to him, you reached for his hand, pressing his palm to your heart. “this is how you make me feel. all the time.”

“can i kiss you?” 

nodding with a big grin, you let him lean forward to connect your lips. putting a hand on his shoulder to stabilize yourself, you hummed softly feeling him pull you closer, straight into his lap. the kiss was sweet and soft, lips moving slowly against each other, teeth clashing together with inexperience. you wrapped your arms around his neck, slightly grinding your hips down into his. “fuck, sorry.”

whining into your mouth, ethan squeezed your hips harshly. “no, please. again, m’felt good.” pulling away from your lips with a heavy pant, he cupped your face, thumb smoothing over your cheekbone.

“yeah? s’that why you brought me up here?” giggling, you rolled your hips again, the seam of his pants nudging at your clothed clit. lips parting with a quiet moan, you bit the inside of your cheek, a blush painting your cheeks.

“maybe.” tilting your head up with his thumb, he pressed kisses down your exposed neck, nibbling and sucking numerous marks along the way. “fuck, i want you.” slipping his hand down your back, he squeezed the fat of your ass, mumbling against your neck.

“i know, baby. but not tonight.” pushing him away just enough to see his face, you pressed a sweet kiss to the button of his nose. “want your first time to be something you’ll remember, not even a little bit fuzzy.”

opening his mouth in protest, you shook your head – your opinion already set in stone. pecking his lips one last time, you climbed off of his lap. 

“you’re such a tease” 

🏷 .:@loaksbitch @sullybby @dilfverz my stinkies

[breesperez139]

Dc x Dp Prompt #2

Danny loved his life. After his reveal to Jack and Maddie as a half ghost went right, everything started falling into place.

Vlad stopped his insane schemes once his parents were set loose on him. Sure he’s still mayor but he funds the town, keeps them protected from unwanted visitors, and is no longer trying to kidnap/adopt/clone Danny anymore.

Speaking of clones, Ellie was officially adopted into the family. She didn’t live with them full time with her obsession being freedom, but at least she has a home to return to now.

Dan was also adopted into the family. He is still on probation but turns out having their adopted family again (and as many ghost fruits as he wants) helped ease the rage. That’s not to mention Dan’s and Skulker’s bi-weekly figh- errr meetups.

Well at least there’s been no property destruction since he’s been crowned. After he and his rogues began scheduling their own meetups, his grades started going up again. So while he may never become an astronaut like he always dreamed of, he could still go up to space and see the stars whenever he wanted to.

Sure, being king wasn’t exactly what he wanted in life (or death) but he could protect his ghosts and liminals better this way. And considering his entire town is either ghost or liminal, it was just easier to protect them from the GIW and the government in general with a crown on his head.

Besides being king isn’t all bad either. He’s rich now meaning they won’t be racked up in college debt, he has cool artifacts that were gifted to the ghost king over the millennia that were left untouched but he’s not about to return them (they were gifts to the ghost king, practically funeral gifts like flowers but more rare and expensive), and he has crazy powerful Ancients as friends/family/mentors/protectors. He’s still a baby in ghost years and a minor in human years so he’s not expected to do much either way.

Life was going great, especially after Amity Park adopted ghost etiquette and ecto-infused food and beverages.

So why the Ancients are the Justice League of all people standing outside his front door with the Batman looking thoroughly freaked out the moment he opened the door? He hasn’t said anything yet either!! Stupid fucking government heroes.

[ma1dita]

hi can i get one ticket for the graveyard smash starring luke castellan with a 🍬 and 🍫? thank u!!

bury a friend

[STARRING: LUKE CASTELLAN x hephaestus!reader ; “I’ve just never seen you this mad before.” “Really? Now? God, you have terrible timing.” wc: 1.3k a/n: MDNI- human sacrifice, dubcon, outdoor sex, afab!virgin!reader, fingering, p in v, mentions of creampie, forced orgasm, errr... mentions of gore

monster mash-terlist

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

You were only supposed to fix his sword.

It started as a favor—you and him weren’t really friends but there weren’t many older kids at camp and word got out that the steel he brought cost him his quest, or so he says. Luke Castellan came back from San Francisco wanting more. A hero like him believed he only deserved the best, and who were you to argue? You were set on giving him just that, the best welder out of all of your siblings—you could be put to the test and do something remarkable for someone who might actually have a chance of being more than a forgotten memory to your godrents.

You’re so warm. He can’t get over it. Were all children of Hephaestus born with a fire to stoke? 

Your hands feel like fire under his grasp as he leads you to a forest clearing and you stumble—it’s hard to tell where you’re going when it’s dark like this but Luke says he won’t let you fall. He has your arms bound at your waist and perhaps you can’t fall if he isn’t planning on letting go. 

“C’mon. Right up there,” he mumbles, tapping your hip with a cold hand and leading you onto a manmade ledge in the middle of the empty space. Lanterns line the floor, dimly lit flames swaying in the brisk night air, and he’s still gentle in the way he helps you sit properly on the stone. 

He almost doesn’t want to do this.

“Luke? Do we have to do this?” you hesitate, laying back onto the smooth surface as he ties your limbs down with rope from the docks. The fibers rub your wrists and ankles raw, and his eyes almost glow at the sight of you struggling.

His new toy sits in a scabbard attached to his belt. Luke undoes the clasp, propping Backbiter against the wall of the platform near his knee and he starts to pace, muttering something under his breath, “Of course we do. It’s the only way—you need to understand,” Luke says hoarsely, “Tell me you understand.”

You nod. It’s not enough for him.

“TELL ME!” he roars, spit flying onto your cheek as he stands over you, aggressively shaking the front of your orange t-shirt. It was a late night—the sunlight of the summer solstice extending past dinner. No one’s going to save you out here. Luke only has a few hours to get this timing right, and you’re his only shot at this.

“I-I understand. I’ve just never seen you this mad before…” you whimper, pushing your head back against the rock to put some distance between you and the son of Hermes. 

“M’not mad,” he exhales, patting your head like one does a child, “I just need to do this. Say it’s okay.” A question bubbles up your throat, but before you can ask, he’s mounted himself onto your spread legs, pushing up the cotton of your drawstring skirt. Between fluttering eyelashes, you think you see him lick his lips—cold fingers traveling up the expanse of your thighs despite your hesitant cries, “Yes but Luke…I…I’ve never…please....”

“The less you struggle, the easier this will be. I’ll take care of you.”

You nod slowly. Goosebumps ravage your body before he does, soon probing past the floral print of your underwear as he presses his icicles for fingers into your heat, stretching, searching for something deep within you until you cry out, “Help!”

Luke smirks, having you writhing in the palm of his hand and gushing from your cunt at the foreign feeling. You’re a pretty one, a lucky find hidden away in the soot and steel of the armory. Always warm and kind, keeping company with your creations. You’re perfect, and exactly what Kronos wanted. A bright and innocent soul to turn the tides of his fate.

Everything is going to plan—he thrusts another finger into your cunt, spreading you wide and reveling at how warm you feel when he’s knuckle deep. Your mouth is agape in a pitiful moan as you try to tuck your face into your shoulder, feeling the heat pool at the bottom of your belly the more he curls his digits, twisting and turning until your eyes roll.

“Almost ready. Keep it coming, pretty girl. You’re the best, you know that?” he breathes, tracing his fingers over nipples that peak underneath the fabric of standard-issue orange on your chest. The color is acrid against the color of your skin—too bright of a reminder of why Luke has to make a deal with the devil. 

Your eyes widen at the feeling of his thick shaft tapping against your clit almost like someone knocking to be let in. Luke’s not asking for permission though—nothing will stop him from his mission to the Titan. You’ve just never gone this far, inexperience making your legs shake when he nudges them further, “I don’t….” You don’t want this, you want to say, and if you did…not like this.

His eyes are almost black in this light, staring down at you and waiting for you to fight back and say something to ruin his night.

He spears himself into you, straight to the hilt. You could swear you feel him in your lungs. Watching you choke on air with an expressionless gaze, Luke’s thumb rubs away the tear that rolls down your cheek. You decide to watch the stars instead, body jolting at his insistence as you sob into his ear, lips searing against his neck in a broken sound.

“I’m so sorry,” he mutters, tucking himself into your neck as he continues to slide in and out of your throbbing pussy, “So so sorry. Gonna make it better, okay?” The searing pain fades as he huffs into your skin, rutting into you like a sick dog. Blood mixes with your arousal squelching around his length. His cock is fatter than it is long, a heavy, pulsing thing that presses deep into your insides. Luke lets a moan slip past his lips, echoing your whines of desperation at the sensations your body is being put through. He can’t help it—you’re too good in all senses of the word. He bites down on your shoulder, smiling at the sound of your staggered wail.

The pleasure makes your brain go fuzzy, and guilt pulls at your core as you clench around him, unaware of what comes next, “Shit, you’re so tight. Cum for me. You have to.”

You don’t know what to say—you can’t string your feelings into a sentence, too wrecked by his cockhead bumping against your g-spot when he tilts his hips at just the right angle.

“I think I’m…No!” you panic at the rush of adrenaline racing through your body—bearing down and tensing and Luke is shushing you, still piercing through your belly as he reaches down and harshly rubs at your clit. You let go—your body is on fire and it’s all his fault. This is all his fault—he grabs your chin, “You like that? Feels good hmm? Told you,” he grits, pushing air through his teeth as he continues to rock into your warmth.

You’re boneless by the time he’s done and belly full of his essence—the shine of the moon reflecting in your eyes and Luke knows now that it is time. He tucks himself back into his shorts, picking up Backbiter from the ground and tracing it’s perfectly crafted edge against the soft of your stomach. 

“Is it over? You said the sword would work after…” The words die out as you shiver, an unfocused gaze meeting Luke’s dark one, void of any emotion and desperation you saw on the boy that begged for your services weeks prior.

“Gods, you have terrible timing. For what it’s worth, I really am sorry.”

He sinks the blade into you, straight to the hilt. The feeling is almost familiar—it’s so deep that it’s come out the other side, knocking against stone. Blood spills from your wound, the ichor spiraling and spreading into your best creation that no one will even know was yours—forging a weapon of mass destruction as you choke out your last breaths.

Luke sighs, shooting a prayer up into the stars for your soul. If you’re listening, he hopes you know he’s grateful you kept him warm.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

ma1dita's monster mash is closed for requests but ongoing for the rest of october!

[stillnotyourmusebitch]

I can’t stop thinking of demon! Adam going through development and reaching the point of like,, doing something nice without anyone telling him to do it, purely for the sake of doing it. Something he never would have done before. Even if it’s something as small as sitting down with you while you’re watching your favorite movie or show and not shitting on it the whole time, just to keep you company. Or something like that. I dunno. I’m just a sucker for slow burn subtextual romance.

THAT, and the reader seeing his face beneath the mask, looking him the eyes, and smiling a little. Even if they say nothing. I feel like that would stick with him.

Exactly. Demon!Adam lives in my head rent free now. I know this weren't a request of sorts but I kinda wrote something for this

random ficlet below

Demon!Adam x GN!reader (Fluff)

DemonSinner!Adam is something that plays on my mind a lot. He still doesn’t believe in the whole redemption shit that Charlie is laying down but if it gets him a glimpse of seeing heaven again he is willing to try.

-----

Adam was bored and needed something to do that would put off the inevitable “therapy” session with Lucifer’s brat later. So that must be why he finds himself outside your room. He knocks lightly on your door. You didn’t answer, he knocked again louder this time. Still no answer. So he opens the door and peers in.

“Hey errr (Y/n) Charlie asked me to check on you.” A blatant lie but he won’t tell you that.

He sees you’re watching TV.

“Huh? What no shitty nickname this time?” You mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn. Adam walks over and flops down on the couch next to you.

“Oh yeah, nah I didn’t really feel like it.” He grabs a handful of your popcorn.

You quirk a brow.

“Also Charlie said nooo giving nicknames to people that demean them and also who don’t want it and people were given names to be used blah blah blah.” He shoves the popcorn into his mouth. “So what are we watchin?”

“I'm watching a movie I really like so if you're staying either shut up or fuck off.” You sink back into your blanket cocoon.

*10 minutes later*

“What the fuck! This guy clearly likes her but she goes for the other bozo. Is she blind . . . . as well as ya know hot.”

You choke on your drink. You didn’t think that this would be his kinda thing but here he was emotionally invested in the film you had picked. You had really wanted to just wallow in your depression by binge watching trashy romcoms but what was really making you feel better was watching the ‘dickmaster’ himself rooting for the underdog to open up about his feelings to the lead woman.

You go to grab some popcorn but see the bowl is empty.

“Gotta pause.” You go to stand but he stops you.

“I got this.” He hides the good deed by quickly saying “And I need to piss anyway.” You pass him the bowl.

“Not in the popcorn I hope.” You rearrange yourself back in your blanket burrito.

“HAA, You nasty but don’t watch without me. Coz that is a dick move.”

“You know all about those.” You mutter into the blanket. But Adam had gone to the hotel kitchen to make popcorn.

You chose to scroll on your phone until he got back. There were a few messages but you didn’t really feel like answering them. You flop on your side. You can always move when he came back.

While you waited in silence for Adam. You think back on how he really was getting better. After seeing him slowly open up to Charlie’s ideas and seeing that he can be a good guy when it suits him. You smile to yourself.

Your door slams open.

“Okay I’m back bitch.”

Nevermind looks like he has thrown up his walls again.

He lays out the armful of snacks and the bowl of popcorn that looks way bigger than the bowl he left with. He sees you on your side.

“You comfy down there?”

You groan and slowly sit up again. He sits back down but wraps an arm around you and hugs you into his side and nothing more.

“Okay we can continue now.” He grabs the popcorn and rests it on his lap.

You set the movie going again and snuggle just a little bit closer. For popcorn reasons of course not that Adam was nice and warm and you felt safe next to him.

“Clearly she don’t know a good thing when she sees it.” You pipe up after about three minutes into the film again. You had seen this film so many times but there was one scene that always brought out annoyance in you.

“Right!! She needs to open her eyes this guy clearly loves her for who they are and not some fake ass bs that other . . . what?” Adam stops mid-sentence looking down at you resting against his chest.

You blink a few times before realising you are staring “Huh oh nothing.”

You focus back on the screen in front of you.

The climatic end of the film was approaching and the main lead were confessing their love and as the credits role you can here someone crying. You glance up and see Adam wiping away tears.

“You okay.” You sit up and reach for the tissues on the table to hand them to him.

“What!!! I’m fine. Of course I’m fiiiine. Shut up bitch.” He grabs the tissue box from you.

“If it helps I cried the first time I watched this movie.” You wrap the blankets tighter around yourself.

“I . . . ah . . shit.” He saw you curling further in on yourself. He feels guilt crawling into his stomach. “Sorry, I’m . . .Ugh. Look I’m bad at these feel your feelings crap that Charlie spouts. But it was a good film and yeah I cried but . . .”

“It don’t make you any less of a man.”

“Yeeeah I know. Of course I know. I’m the first man.”

“Huh back to that are we.” You bump shoulders with him, making him laugh.

He pulls you back into his side “So what are we watching now?”

------

I really didn't mean for this to be as long as it was. I'm sorry

[themultifandomgal]

Harry Styles- Halloween With The Styles Family Pt1

Synopsis- YN met Harry while filming Dunkirk and although both their lives have been a whirlwind so has their romance. They started dating in 2017 and got married in 2023, 2 years after having their daughter Eve.

“Dat one daddy” Eve points to one of many costumes Harry had out “mamma can be da good witch and I can be da doggy”

Eve recently has been obsessed with The Wizard Of Oz after watching the original since her mum is Glinda in the new Wicked movie.

“Perfect. Speaking of where is mamma?” Harry asks putting the costume on his shared bed with his wife

“I fink outside”

“Planting more flowers?” Harry raises a brow at his now three year old

“Errr mamma said not to tell you so no” she smiles at her dad. Harry smiles shaking his head

“She loves her plants doesn’t she?” Harry takes his daughters hand and guides her downstairs and out the door to see his wife knelt down with a plant in one hand and trowel in the other, humming a familiar tune of ‘Golden’

“Mamma!!!” Eve shouts running over to her mum “I told daddy I wasn’t allowed to tell him what you were doing in da garden, but..” she now whispers in her mums ear “I fink he’s got super powers. He knew what you were doing”

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I think he has super powers too, you know why?”

“Why?” Eve cocks her head to the side with a small frown

“Because I can do this” Harry lifts his daughter up as if she were a feather and spins her round. If the neighbours were out all they would be able to hear was the laughter of the little girl

“Ok ok put her down before you break something” YN laughs standing up and wiping the dirt on her trousers. Harry stops spinning round and places Eve back on her feet “now, have you decided what your going to be for Halloween?” YN asks the youngster

“Yep. Daddy is going to be Dorofy, I’m da doggy and your da pretty witch”

“Sounds perfect, but I’m not sure I have a Glinda costume”

“Can’t you wear da one on telly?”

“No baby, it wasn’t mine”

“You borrowed it?”

“Exactly”

“We have 2 days, I’m sure we can find a dress can’t we Evie?” Harry picks his daughter up and places her on his hip

“Yes!” she claps excitedly “daddy can we go and watch Wizz of Oz?”

“Course we can princess. Why don’t you go turn the telly on while I try and get your mother inside and away from the flowers?” Harry puts Eve down and the couple watch her skip in. Harry places an arm around YN’s shoulders and places a kiss on her temple “how did I get so lucky?”

“I pretty sure I’m the lucky one. I have a beautiful daughter, an extremely handsome husband and another perfect bundle on the way” YN places a hand on her very small bump

“Mamma! Daddy! Hurry!”

“We better hurry up” Harry tells his wife

“You get the popcorn started while I wash up” the couple make their way into the house. YN makes a start up the stairs when she remembers “oh don’t forget…”

“The caramel ice cream. I know”

“I love you”

“I love you more”

“Mamma, daddy it’s going to start wifout you” Eves voice come through from the living room making Harry and YN chuckle before they make a move, not wanting to make their impatient daughter any more impatient.

[zombiec]

Jealousy | Gojo Satoru

(Readers gender is not specified)

(Modern au)(reader is very flirty)

Synopsis ☆: Reader goes to smoke with gojo and he gets jealous

Warnings: Oral, toy usage, marijuana usage, a little reader x choso, errr idk anything else

a/n: this was originally supposed to be for my friend but I’m gonna post it >.< Also it was suppose to be a 3 some but I forgot abt the other two.

You were lying in your bed on your side scrolling through instagram reels. Bored out of your mind, until you got a call from the one and only gojo. “Haiiiii” you sighed “what do you want gojo” you could hear his pout through the phone “I just wanna talk to you” he said whining. It irked you how sexy you thought his voice was. Something about a man with a whiney voice just did something to you. “Again what do you want gojo” he giggled “do you want to come over” you raised an eyebrow, because most of the time gojo invited you over it was to engage in sexual activities . “Why?” Your voice had a little teasing to it. Gojo whined “becauseeeee I miss you…and because I got weed>.<“ “I’m omw!” You said and immediately hung up.

You sprung up out of your bed and pulled on a pair of black basketball shorts, a purple hoodie, and some purple fuzzy socks. You slipped on your black crocs with cute little charms on them, and looked in the mirror before deciding that you looked good. Grabbing your phone and your car keys you left the house.

You hopped into your black jeep liberty 2007, which you cherished. While driving to Gojos house you realized how excited you were. You haven’t smoked in a while, but the thing is you’ve never smoked with gojo and you know when you smoke you get a bit horny. You’re a little worried because last time you and gojo have done anything you realized he was getting too attached so you told him you two should just stay as friends. You hoped nothing would happen.

When you arrived at his house you parked in front and walked up to his door. You rung the doorbell then put your hands in your pockets and waited, standing kinda awkwardly. When the door opened you were surprised to see Getou. “What’re you doing here” you rolled your eyes and brushed past him “I was invited goofy””oh” is all he said and closed the door walking behind you. When you walked in the smell of weed immediately hit you. ‘How could they start without me’ you thought. You walked further into the house and see a circle formed which included Gojo, Choso, and Shoko. You immediately went to your favorite “SHOKO!!!!” She shrieked when your tall frame basically tackled her. You love Shoko she’s so cute and funny, ontop of that her voice is so sexy. You laid ontop of Shoko and kissed her cheeks, she giggled and pushed you off. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here I thought it’d be just me and gojo” “I’m actually leaving right now I have to go, I have assignments to catch up on” you pouted a little “awe what you’re gonna leave me here with these animals” “yep..goodluck!” she said and kissed you on your forehead walking out.

You looked to your side and made contact with brown (?) eyes. You smirked a little cause you know choso has a little crush on you. He’s always looking at your lips when you’re talking to him and always blushing around you. he’s so obvious it’s cute. You moved towards choso leaving a little space between you two “hey choso” you said a little teasingly. He blushed a little and greeted you back. You looked across the circle and noticed gojo frowning a little. You mentally rolled your eyes ‘he can’t handle my attention on anyone but him.’ “Hi gojo” “oh now you see me” he said with an attitude. you rolled your eyes “what’s wrong with you” “he’s mad your attention isn’t on him and only him” Getou butted in. “No I’m not! I don’t even care” you grinned at Gojos hostile behavior.

As the blunt was getting passed around for the 3rd time you found your arm around choso’s shoulders while his legs were thrown over your lap. You can’t even lie he’s looking so good right now . He’s wearing a black shirt with a v neck that he rolled up because it was ‘too hot’ so you can see his abs and gawd you were bout to act like an animal. He had on grey shorts with neon orange socks on, his sexy,shaved, long legs on display. And Ofcourse He has his typical pony tails in that you just wanted to pull on while you thrust into him from the back.

Gojo went into the kitchen a little while ago to do idk what,but you choso and Getou were still smoking. When the blunt made it back to you, you had an idea. You took a hit of the blunt, grabbed chosos jaw, pressed on his jaw hard enough so that he opened his mouth and blew the smoke in his mouth. He immediately got what you were doing and inhaled the smoke you were blowing in his mouth. The look he gave you was about to drive you mad. His eyes were hooded and he looked dazed I almost leaned in to kiss him but then “pass the fucking blunt already” Getou said getting antsy. I gave the blunt to choso and went over to Getou “Awee is the poor baby mad he’s getting no attention” you said pinching his cheeks “fuck off” he said slapping your hands away. You blew him a kiss then walked into the kitchen where gojo was.

Gojo was in the kitchen on his phone bent over the counter facing away from me. I might just be horny but he looked really good. I walked up behind him and pressed my hips into his ass while grabbing onto his waist. He jumped a little but relaxed when he realized it was me. Gojo turned his body around to look at you “so now you wanna talk to me” he said with a little frown on his face “I always wanna talk to you baby don’t be so fussy” you say and brush some of his hair out his face “all you do is ignore me when other people are around” he said and wrapped his arms around your neck since you’re a little taller than him. You wrapped your arms around his waist and he smiled a little bit. The both of you just stare at each other for a while before gojo speaks up “make it up to me” you grin and tilt his head up a bit “is that how you ask gojo?” He looks at you with pleading eyes. You just look at him waiting. He huffed “please make it up to me”

You push gojo up onto the counter and connect your lips with his. The kiss is rough and is filled with pure lust. You grabbed gojo by his thighs and he wrapped his legs around your waist. Gojo pushes the back of your neck towards him so that you could be closer as if you two aren’t already close enough. He moaned into the kiss when you bit lightly onto his bottom lip pulling away while gojo tried to chase after your lips. “Please” he begs “I really need you.” You were about to say something but the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you guys made you halt your movements. You looked behind you to see Getou AND choso both standing there.

“Whoops” you said and immediately let go of gojo. You heard gojo huff from behind you. You knew he was mad you two got interrupted. You kind of were too from being cockblocked for the second time... It’s always Getou too. He’s always ruining the moment, you starting to think he wants some too.

“So….” Getou awkwardly started. Everyone was still standing in the kitchen, me and gojo on one side choso and Getou on the other. “What kind of porn do you guys watch”……the fuck? “I like step mom step son porn” you looked at gojo with a weird expression and scooted away a bit. Getou smirked a smile and high fived gojo “me too” they laughed together. You just gave them a grossed out look. Then choso spoke up “I like twitter porn, the ‘vanilla’ stuff so they say” “aweee” you cooed. Choso blushed. “What about you” everyone turned to you… you took a deep breath “No” “oh come on” gojo whined at you. “No” you said yet again but this time you walked upstairs towards Gojos room. You heard gojo yell something but you didn’t hear nor care what he had to say.

While you were in Gojos room you were just snooping around. His room was actually very clean, you’d think he’d be messy but no. All of his figures and accessories sit ontop of a black dresser. You go towards his dresser snooping through the drawers. Underwear. Shirts. Pants. Socks. ‘Boringggg’ you thought. You checked the final drawer and all you saw was black cloth. Being curious as you are you picked up the cloth only to realize it’s not a cloth it’s a black satin bag, which was sort of heavy. You know it’s wrong to go through peoples stuff but…who cares. You opened the bag only to be utterly shocked by what you see. A 9 inch silicone dragon dildo is in the bag. Your jaw is literally on the floor. How in the world can gojo take this. Has he ever used it? The girth on the dildo is insane and you wonder if the ridges in the dildo would feel good or cause a little pain.

“What’re you doing” your soul left your body. It was fucking gojo who creeped up behind you. Grasping your chest you lightly smacked gojo upside the head “the fuck is wrong with you, don’t sneak up on me like that” “you’re the one in my room looking through my things” gojo replied rubbing where you hit him. “Oh yeah…found your dildo” gojo let out a breathy laugh “damn that’s crazy…” you and gojo locked eyes for what felt like hours (it was a few seconds). You huffed and threw the bag with the dildo on Gojos bed. “come here” gojo immediately wrapped his arms your neck brought you down a little. You could tell by the way he kissed you gojo was desperate. He kissed you like it was the last time you’d see each other.

You kissed down to Gojos pale unmarked neck, leaving light bites on it. Gojo let out a girlish Moan and brought his hands up to your hair tugging a little which pulled a low groan out of you. Gojo couldn’t take it anymore. “fuckkk~ please~ I-I need you so bad” you picked up gojo by the back of his thighs causing him to wrap his legs around your waist. You pushed him up against the wall and looked gojo in his eyes he was so pretty. His dazed beautiful blue eyes staring back into yours, his pink puffy lips that had a little slob on them, and the marks on his neck that you created looked so alluring on his pretty pale skin. just made you want to fuck his brains out.

“What do you want gojo” god the way you said his name drove him crazy. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way you were looking at choso when you guys were down stairs. It’s not fair. You’re supposed to be his and only his. He wants you to fuck him and make him moan so loud so choso and Getou can hear how good you make him feel.

Gojo bites his lip and tightens his legs around your waist. “I want you in me.” You smirked “do you really deserve that? You were giving me a lot of attitude downstairs” you fake pout. “No no please I’m sorry I won’t give you attitude anymore..just- please..do something” he sounded so desperate, but you got an idea.

“How bout you fuck yourself on that dildo and if you can make yourself cum without me touching you I’ll fuck you dumb.” Gojo didn’t hesitate after that. He was quick to let you go and scramble to get the satin black bag holding the 9 inch dildo. Gojo took the dildo out the bag and was quick to place it on the floor. He pulled down his shorts and stepped out of them. “No lube?” You asked sitting infront of him on the bed. Spreading your legs open so your buldge on display. Gojo blushed “I- I already prepped myself” you giggled “oh? Were you expecting something to happen?” Gojo didn’t answer you and sunk onto the dildo. ‘fuckkkk” you thought, he let out the loudest high pitched Moan you’ve ever heard from him. As gojo sunk lower onto the dildo he was looking you directly in the eyes. Biting his lip with a slight blush on his face. He was so pretty.

He stayed still for a while getting used to the girth of the dildo. Then he started moving up and down on it. You swear you could’ve came in your pants just at the sight. The Gojo Saturou sitting infront of you riding the biggest dildo you’ve ever seen. He was such a Slut. Suddenly you felt hands on your thighs and you made eye contact with him. You knew exactly what he wanted. “Go ahead” you said . Gojo didn’t hesitate to pull the waistband of your shorts down and pulled out your cock that he loved shoving down this throat.

You loved when gojo sucked you off. The way his lips wrapped around your tip, and the eye contact he made pushing his head all the way down your length drove you crazy. Still bouncing on the dildo gojo pressed his fat tongue on the tip of your dick licking up the pre-cum. He couldn’t wait anymore. He wanted you all the way down his throat.

Gojo wrapped his lips around your length and started going further down making you let out a breathy moan. “Yea baby just like that” you threw your head back and gripped the sheets beneath you. Gojo was getting close from the sight infront of him. He did that. He made you lose your control. Bouncing faster on the dildo gojo started bobbing his head up and down on your cock. You couldn’t take it anymore, you grabbed gojo by the back of his head and started bobbing his head faster. Gojo whined. You could tell he was close by the noises he was making. “You gonna cum baby?” Gojo whined yet again and you pulled him off your dick right before you were about to cum. He made a confused sound before you kissed him, aggressively pushing your tongue in his mouth. Gojo moaned incredibly loud into the kiss and you saw ropes of cum come out of him. ‘Damn’ you thought surprised at how much came out. Gojo came to a stop on the dildo and was taking deep breaths. You smirked “Good job, you ready for your reward?”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Easy peasy lemon squeezy

Please request stuff guys I’m dying over here >.<

[cherryzlem]

My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Twelve

Steve wanted everything to be ready and set up for when Eddie got back; Hopper was going to drop him over later in the afternoon.

It didn’t work out like that at all; Steve’s parents left earlier than they said they would. He got Eddie’s things out of the closet, and then was heading to the garage to get the tent, really, truly intending to use this time to get everything right for when Eddie comes back.

Steve lasted twenty minutes in the empty house before he couldn’t take any more. He just missed Eddie too much. He was too excited to see him, to bring him home, way too excited to wait hours.

Especially since every moment now felt so precious, so finite.

So he thought fuck it, slipped on his sneakers and picked up his car keys and headed to the store. He definitely needed fresh groceries ready for Eddie to come home.

It’s a fairly good thing his mother never actually cooks; she might have had questions about all the peas in the freezer. As it is Steve has to rotate between stores, he's started saying, ‘I’m doing this green juice diet thing,’ every time he gets a strange look when he pays. Even that would only fly so far before people started looking at him like he was really weird; it’s not like Hawkins is a big place, there’s not exactly a lot of options.

From the store, Steve heads to the cabin, only to find Eddie sitting on the stoop, his bag ready next to him. He grins so big when Steve pulls up.

Hopper comes out with a steaming mug cupped in his hands and an unlit cigarette sagging between his lips, “you’re as bad as each other, I told him not until four, he’s been packed since half nine. Couldn’t stop him.”

Steve kneels on the step below Eddie so they can give each other a proper hug; he feels Eddie’s chest expand in a massive sigh, and then Eddie relaxes fully against him. Steve can relate; he feels the same.

“Sorry Hop,” Steve says absently.

Hopper makes a noncomittal noise, and Steve hears the rasp of his lighter, “all his things are clean, did a load of laundry last night.”

Steve stands, but finds Eddie’s holding his hand and Steve kind of doesn’t want to ever let go of him anyway, so it kind of works out.

“Thanks so much Hopper, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you doing this.”

Hopper leans on the porch rail, “just laundry, kid.”

“You know what I mean, you’ve, you know, looked after him and I-”

“Hopper,” Eddie says, causing them both to look, “thank you,” and Eddie presents Hopper with a pine cone. It has strands of long grass haphazardly tied to it, little flowers and a couple of smalls leaves. Steve doesn’t look at Hopper’s face; he knows he will laugh if he does.

“Errr...you’re welcome.”

Steve thinks Hopper accepts his gift with grace.

The plan is to spend the whole afternoon on the couch watching movies. Eddie puts his things away; moves things around, spends an hour generally reacquainting himself with the place, Steve asks him if he wants the tent put back today, but Eddie shakes his head, clearly not worried about it. He also doesn’t want to get his shiny things back either; Steve offers to go into his parents room with him but again, Eddie seems disinterested.

He just seems to need to check where everything is before he finally settles, snuggling right up to Steve and settling his head on Steve’s chest, half cradled between Steve’s legs.

Steve knows Eddie’s missed him, Steve has missed him, too.

They don’t even pretend that night. There’s no talk of nightmares, or dark TV, or bad dreams. There’s no excuses about how it’s cold, or talk about Eddie sleeping on the couch; they brush their teeth together, and then Eddie gets into Steve’s bed before Steve does.

Steve sleeps with Eddie’s tail wrapped between and around his legs, and tries not to dwell on how much it’s going to hurt when it’s gone.

Steve walks through the door of Family Video, arms in the air, triumphant, “ayyyyyyyy!”

Robin mimics him from behind the counter, throwing her arms up too, “ayyyyyy...what are we doing?!”

“Celebrating, obviously,” Steve gets his ass up on the counter and shimmies around, dropping down on the other side, “we’re back together. The dream team.”

“The dynamic duo?”

“The perfect pair.”

“The...top twins?”

“That’s weak Steve.”

“I know, I couldn’t come up with anything good that begins with ‘T’ and I wanted to keep this going. Thanks by the way, I think we have two shifts together this week. I do not want to know what you had to do to get that-”

“Gross,” Robin slaps him in the chest with a half eaten red vine.

The bell over the door tinkles, a whole brood of excited kids coming in, looking for Christmas movies, Steve directs the mom to the right section. It’s not long before more come in, “what the hell is going on?” Steve gripes about all the little kids absolutely ruining the displays.

“Last day of school, everyone's out for Christmas,” Robin tells him as she rings someone up.

“No way,” Steve looks at the calendar pinned to the cupboard door behind the counter, “Oh. It is.”

“Yep Dingus, not long now, got all your gifts?”

“Shit Rob, I don’t have any gifts-”

“Terrific!”

“No it’s-”

“No no, terrific! With a ‘T’!”

“Oh...yeah, I suppose that was the obvious option.”

Steve gets home late, these closing shifts really starting to get to him, thinking about what the hell he should get Eddie for Christmas. He has no idea how long the whole...transformation thing…might take. Or how long until it happens. This might be the only Christmas Eddie ever has and…Steve’s going to do his best to make it amazing.

Tomorrow he’s going to drive out and pick up a real tree, get all the decorations down from the attic; Eddie likes shiny things, he should like it. Steve feels better with a plan of action, he always has.

“Eddie,” Steve calls as he closes the front door, stripping off his jacket and gloves. His ears are freezing, he should wear a hat really, but that would be a bit of a crime with his hair.

Steve can smell something; coffee he’s pretty sure, and something cooking, “Stee.”

“Hey Buddy, what are you doing,” Steve finds Eddie on a kitchen chair in front of the stove.

“Stee nine and a half.”

“Yeah, yeah I did say that buddy.”

Eddie’s carefully stirring soup on the stove top; there’s a bowl ready, next to a plate of crackers and randomly shaped cut up lumps of cheese. Well, more like hacked up lumps of cheese, but still.

Steve watches, heart sort of in his mouth, as Eddie carefully, tongue poking out in concentration, lifts the pot and pours the steaming soup into the bowl. He does it slowly, but perfectly fine, “Stee hot, ow.”

“I’ll let it cool down I...just thank you buddy, thank you so much.”

There’s a dirty knife and the empty soup can in the sink, but otherwise Eddie’s tidied up after himself. This must have taken so much effort; Eddie would have to move the chair every time he needed to reach something. Steve can’t help it, he dips, giving Eddie a soft kiss on the cheek.

Part Fourteen

[justcallmesakira]

BESTIE IF U DONT DO THIS REQ N I WILL FACKING EAT UR MUTUALS

DAZAI WITH A SISTER DAZAI WITH A SISTER DAZAI WITH A SISTER!!

she has black cat energy and err makes suicidal jokes here and then but never does t and chuuyas always the one who pulls her away from dazais tendencies because he DOES NOT want reader to follow dazais steps and err dazai and reader have a 2 year gap and err basically dazai took her away with him when he left and thats were she sort of stopped talking BECAUSE BOOM CHIKA BOOM ODAS DEATH LEFT HER MORE TRAUAMATIZED THAN THE KIDS ASAGIRI BLEW UP!!! so errr crack and chuuya and reader is ummmm AHEM AHEM AHEM (cough coug)

AND BASICALLY MORI HAS THIS like obsession of bringing reader back to the mafia like he constantly says stuff like "Dazai, my offer still stands but please remember that i would really really love to see your dear sister back first" LIKE YKNOW WHAT I AM SAYING???????????

DAZAI AND HIS YOUNGER SISTER!

Sypnosis: you are the younger sister of Da-dazai! Is he a great brother or not? UPPP TO YOU! >< oh and maybe hide your secret vists with chuuya please!!

Genre: crack and heavy angst! (dont question it)

Warnings: suicidal themes! cans of gasoline, glitter bombs, reader is very quiet type, manipulation (for good use!)

A/N: yummy yummy

uh oh! this is gonna be so damn messy

so um first of all! i really think reader would be very intelligent like dazai like oh fuck! i just got under a whole rubble of rocks by some guy who btw is the enemy of my brother quick! think of something

and then theres this bsd aesthetic plan you make and just survive! to the shock of your horror... :D

okay but in all seriousness! he defiently jokingly gave you his suicide guide to if u ever felt inspired by him

VERY VERY NORMAL BROTHER ACTIVITY!!1

dazai stop influencing people around you to plug off them self challenge impossible: GO!!

if you do however join his meticulous activites kunikidas actually going to blow up

😇

but imagine how cute it would be a black cat energy young sis and a golden retriver brother like bish forget romantic relationships like dazai who sometimes forget he left his sister at work!

but ynkow mf dazai always wants to keep close to you because he was never really there (like my fake as friends🙄) back in the mafia! woohoo

so now you can asks him for whatever you want but now he actually feels guilty because you have now become the silent type and dont really talk that much

Great job dazai! best brother everr!❤️

Imagine running away from the mafia with ur lil sister then realising she doesnt even want to talk anymore and that you might actually failed as a big brother even after buying her a whole lotta stuff

COULDNT BE OSAMU DAZAI GUYS!!!

tell him to take you to an amusement park and he will! but dont be surprised if you see him trying to run to jump off a bridge because he does not have for the sake of god any money!

AYY dazai cosplaying toji to get milk? real or fake??? find out here!

dont click on the link :3

ANYWAYS he definetly tries his best to get you back to talking sure the only thing he could do is talk to himself with you beside him doodling some stuff but yknow...it genuinely makes him form a sad smile when he gets reminded that maybe if he were a better brother and actually comforted you it would have ended better

"I saw a cat today yknow! it had a black eye and orange patterns. Somehow it looked wise" dazai said relazing on the chair, his hands behind his head, the whole night of yokohama was quiet only the flicker of the dim light placed underneath the balcony ceiling could be heard.

The night was calm too, it had a soft storm-like feel to it. Dazai knew you were listening thats probably why he would talk to you all these months, no one else was there for him anyway. So its better than nothing.

All of a sudden amdist the silence several pokes tapped on his shoulder which made his eyes widen slightly. You held up your sktechbook infront of his face, a bunch of doodles of him and a full sketch of his side profile

"(Name)... This is amazing! Wow you could be a talented artist yknow!!" he said you didnt know whether he was just flattering you or not because of the emptiness in his eyes. Depression changes a person. But the slight flicker of light in his made it visible to your loud mind. Dazai was glad you made some progress.

Okay now hb your interactions with da agency??

I am pretty sure both you and him joined da agency together (gotta make sure his sister ACTUALLY doesn`t follow his steps!😋😋😋😋)

kunikida may act all cold around you and view u as some kid especially when you randomly make the most random ass suicidal jokes in the middle of a meeting but...

Lets say he sort of checks up on both of you every morning! cant let the dogs out now kunikida! you never know what they do....

iykwimyk

now yosano girlypop is the only person who shows genuine concern for you when you get hurt why? because she was bamboozled when she found out you are dazais sibling like

"huh- are you actually capable of being a brother? more so having family"

dazai be at the corner weeping because of the amount of slander

DESERVEDDDD😍😍😍

I can totally see fukuzawa patting both of you and dazais head after you two collaborated on a mission

IDWGDHYWDFYUDFILOVEFATHERRELATIONSHIPS

he prob randomly call you for tea i mean not too randomly but he likes your black cat energy

speaking of which ranpo and you bully da heck out of criminals before they ultimately mistake you for some god!! /nj

kenji and kyouka just chills around you and tries debating what you and dazai have in common.

belonging in the mental asylum. thats whats common between you two/nj again😁😁

With chuuya

NAWWWWH BRO NAWW☠️

Chuuyas gonna end upl like this emoji☠️☠️☠️

Okay maybe i am over exaggerating this but yknow dazai is like really smart

UNFORTUNATELY!!!

So he will definitely know when ever you two act a little🤭😝😘🤗😍🥰👍

Hes going to get tjat expression from chapter 114 and chew chuuyas expensive tuxedo!!

I bet after he finds out hes straight up going to give chuuya a flashback of stormbringer era!! 😍😁

#verynormalbrother

"W-w-w-what da SKIBIDI [name]??? YOU WILL NOT AND NEVER MEET CHUUYA AGAIN" "wow... and i thought you were trying to become a better brother :(" "YOUNG LA- i-" ":("

He was about to say lad

like manipulative ass brother like sister ig! :33333333

He prob had suspicions back in the mafia especially because of how you mostly stuck around chuuya when he wasnt there

YOUR FAULT BRO!!!

And then u rizzed chuuya up with double black eyes (get it?)

"You know [name] it still hurt me, though i promised i would never say it infront of your face but.." Chuuya said seriousness in his tone looking at you eyes "But please stop looking at me with those cat like eyes they deeply remind of someone and I DO NOT like it"

He ended this funny note with a genuine fear and irritation in his eyes. you only nodded and continued to stare at him, your eyes rivaling a black hole not that hole by the way.

A tingling feeling gathered in himself as chuuya looks at your blank stare "Dont look at me like that!" he raised his flustered voice, a small hue of pink appearing on his cheek which only grew as you held on to his sleeve, snuggling against it like a cat.

But before he could be more flushed a really dark aura crept up behind you and then, right then you knew you fucked up bad.

"i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-cant believe this!" your brothers voice perked up behind you genuine horror on his face as if he just saw his bestfriend die infront of him twice.

"Oh my fucki-" chuuya sighed, both of you are caught. "[name] ICANTBELIEVETHISOMGIAMGOINGTOENDMYSELFLIKEMYOTHERVERSIONFROMANOTHERUNIVERSEWHOLOWEREDYOURSTANDERDSICANTBELIEVETHISHIT" dazai rapped at super speed, an anger and shock unwordable enough for you to be confused at whatever hes yapping about. "DAZAI what the fuck??" now chuuya was confused too.

"ANDYOU, HERMANADAPUTA (sisterfucker in english) YOUUGLYSHORTMFWITHNOFLAGSNONOTHING,YOUTRUSTISSUED?IWILLGIVEYOUPRISONFORLIFEISSUES" "WHAT IS YOU BROTHER YAPPING ABOUT?"

And all you could do was watch in horror as the scene unfolds infront of you. But safe to say you got in big trouble when you went back home!

anyways dazais going to go full on 8 cans of gasoline on the portmafia if more is obsessed with you like him

and then you realised..

"fOr tHe fIrSt TiMe iN fOrEVer" he actually did/nj

Okay okay but in all seriousness (litearlly @justcallmesakira catchphrase guys!!) Dazai would genuinely become more protective of you if mori was targeting towards you.

i would run away to antarctica too if mori even tried interacting with me

SHES A RUNNER SHES A TRACKSTAR!!!!!🏃💨

But if you are intelligent then i guess you met fyodor too? And maybe some sort of rivalry goes on between you two like "oh its my brothers enemy, gotta help my bro blow him up!"

I have nothing much to say because dazai would make secret plans (which you alrdy know) to make sure mori doesnt get too close with you

Like oh he was planning to approach you that day? BOOM dazai is already there. Yeah like that

If mori says that however... Dazai will reply with a dark eyed gloom,tilting his head back creepily "You will have to need more then the whole of port mafia to interact with my sister"

Dazai hates mori alot and though he knows that you are old enough to handle situations that doesnt mean he wont care for his only sister. You are the only thing left that he can protect without feeling inhumanity or faraway.

A/N: HATE THISSSS NOOOUUU

Tags: @inojuuy @biscuits-spooky-corner @terururuko @little-miss-chaoss @saelique @silverbladexyz @typcallysid14 @nezuko-kamado-cute-demon

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "Dad. Don't freak out now. But it turns out my girlfriend is...."

Lucifer: "? Lesbian, yes?"

Charlie: "...an angel."

Lucifer: "Oh I KNOW she is Char-char! Just look at her!"

Charlie: "You whuh?"

Vaggie: "It's- it's not that obvious! ...is it?"

Lucifer: "Aww Maggie, anyone who's known you for two minutes could see that you're just the sweetest most angelic girlfriend."

Charlie: "Oh noo..."

Vaggie: "Uhhh. How, sir?"

Lucifer: "Why, the way you look at Charlie! All soft and gooey! Like caramel melting on an apple!"

Vaggie: "Oh."

Charlie: "No dad I didn't mean 'angel' as in she's sweet like an angel or pretty like angel- I mean! She IS pretty! The most pretty!! Gorgeous, stunning-"

Vaggie: "Getting off topic babe."

Charlie: "We mean it literally. Dad, Vaggie's an angel. Vaggie?"

Vaggie: (wings go floomf)

Lucifer: ".........."

Lucifer: "...."

Lucifer: "Oh." (tears up) "Wowzer."

Vaggie: (PANIC) "Shit oh shit, Charlie- Charlie I made your dad cry-"

Charlie: "H-happy tears, right dad!? Happy tears!"

Lucifer: "Oh, yes. It's only. Standing like that. You two, you look a lot like..." (clears throat) "Golly!"

Charlie: "We look at lot like...?"

Lucifer: "A whoooole lot of happy! Just. Wow! HA!"

Vaggie: "Are you okay sir?"

Lucifer: "Am I okay- are YOU okay??? How did you get down here, Maggie! And without anyone telling me! I would've LOVED to have helped- errr ah well, or at LEAST given you a place to crash- oh GOSH not the best word choice is that ha ha oops! Um!"

Vaggie: "It's alright sir. Charlie kinda... took care of all that. And, me."

Charlie: "She was Exorcist. She is NOT like that anymore. She left them all on her own, and they- they just left her here."

Lucifer: "An Exorcist? One of Lilith's ex's scary vengeance ladies?"

Charlie: "Dad-"

Lucifer: "OHHHH THAT IS HILARIOUS- oh Lili would LOVE this- did you leave him too? The-"

Vaggie: "First dick? Yeah."

Lucifer: "HIGH FIVE! Ooh ooh AND DOWN LOW! Oh haha, I haven't done that part since Charlie was still my size!!!"

Charlie: "Daaaaad..."

Lucifer: "So you left Adam like Lili did and you're dating a demon like I was and you're and angel like me and- oh do you. Do you miss heaven? Are you, trying to get back...?"

Vaggie: "No. I like it here."

Lucifer: "Preferring and happier in hell, another point like Lili! But why?"

Charlie: "She didn't exactly have the best time up in heaven."

Vaggie: "No shit. You weren't up there."

Charlie: "Vaggieeee."

Lucifer: "Youuuuu're looking at her all melty and sweet again~"

Vaggie: "Anyway sir, we just wanted you to know."

Lucifer: "Well gee whiz I sure hope you kids didn't stress over tell me! This is PERFECT!"

Charlie: "It is?"

Lucifer: "Of course it is! Maggie." (takes Vaggie by the shoulders) "Do you know what all of this means?"

Vaggie: "...that i can... keep dating... your daughter..?"

Charlie: "Vaggie of course you c-"

Lucifer: "YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!" (hugs her) "You're like a perfect mix of me and Lili! It's like creation made someone specially to understand our daughter- and it's YOU! Charlie's matching other half, her soulmate- exactly the right wife for her!"

Vaggie: "Your- wait- HER-?"

Demon Charlie: "DAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!"

Lucifer: "Two beautiful brides!" (sniffles) (pulls charlie into the hug and cracks them both like glow sticks) "So! When's the wedding!?"