#enterprise was really good to be fair

[sillimancer]

lmao remember when I was gonna watch all the star treks in in-universe chronological order and then I only finished Enterprise

[somnoir]

My father's secretary

Danny Fenton did not expect to be secretary material but after 7 years of being a hero and having Jazz as his elder sister, he was damn good at it. He needed a job, he knew that, and Wayne Enterprises was willing to hire a 21 year old taking online college classes for aerospace engineering.

And he was fucking thankful for that cause Mr. Wayne was pretty neat and bought him good food and coffee whenever he looked out of it. Half his family were already in Gotham with only his parents in Amity. They were finally reformed and now their research finally advocated for the rights of ghosts and spread awareness on their culture. Good for them.

Jazz and Dante were in Arkham working as a psychologist and guard. Elle was still in school, enrolled into Gotham Academy once Vlad insisted on paying her tuition. To be fair, he was paying for Danny's tuition too.

But back to his secretary duties. His boss was Bruce Wayne, yes, but he did often work with the man's son and the current CEO. Tim was nice and had the same caffeine addiction as him. (Jazz highly discouraged this friendship in case they both made a monstrosity of coffee and energy drinks.)

But Mr. Wayne was the best. He was rather clumsy and a bit airheaded but he was the best fucking boss he could ever ask for. The man's paternal instincts were on point and Danny was almost intimidated when the man started handing him extra cash whenever Danny came to the office looking more tired than usual. When that failed, Mr. Wayne resorted to giving him more material things.

Now, he doesn't want to take advantage of this ridiculously kind man with a lack of self preservation (God, was this what Jazz felt about him?). But Mr. Wayne had given him this amazing coffee maker and then proceeded to give Danny the best toaster ever. And Danny has always been known to resolutely be against Billionaires adopting him. But Mr. Wayne?

Danny had honed his back talking skills to perfection to talk down arrogant elites that kept demanding for his boss. He mastered his customer service voice and that condescending look he saw the receptionists give people like they were tantruming toddlers. Danny was ready to fight for that man (Vlad was choking somewhere as the Fentons worriedly look at him).

Jason has heard about Danny Fenton a couple of times. Tim, Dick, and Bruce had mentioned him a lot. Bruce's new secretary that looked like he'd woken up from a coma and was comparable to a grumpy cat on his best days. He's seen the guy a couple times, noticed how he was almost as tall as Jason. Honestly, he kinda looked like a twig (but then that was because of Danny's suit that he made sure didn't completely fit him).

Seriously. Danny was willing to fucking fight anyone and everyone for Bruce Wayne.

The guy was strange. Very strange. Especially when the pits seemed to either become frantic or calm whenever he was around. It depended on the situation really, but mostly the pits grew calmer around Fenton. Like a cat that finally saw its favorite person. It was so weird.

He was drawn to Fenton, sometimes finding himself walking towards the man before he snaps out of it.

It's on this day where Danny was by Bruce's side, a stylus and tablet in hand. He was furiously tapping away at his phone, cursing under his breath about bothersome and stuck up cialiteses.

"Jason!" Bruce happily greets, "Don't mind Danny for a bit. He's telling of some investors for trying to meddle with the company. Tim is too sleep deprived to handle it."

"Where is Tim?"

"Danny threatened to throw the company's coffee maker out the window if he doesn't take a nap." Bruce chuckles, glancing fondly at his fiesty secretary. "Danny?"

"Give me a minute, Mr. Wayne. Some people are trying to squeeze into your schedule when I specifically told them that they can't." Danny says, clearly irritated but looks at Bruce with an apologetic gaze. "No—Mr. Luthor, neither Mr. Drake nor Mr. Wayne are available on that day—"

And it dissolved into Danny telling of what Jason assumes was Lex Luthor to stop his attempts. In other words, corporate for Fuck off.

"He's good, isn't he?" Jason humms as he follows Bruce down the hall, glancing at the tired employees that looked utterly exhausted and horrifically motivated. "Looks like adoption bait."

"Unfortunately, Danny is a very much against Billionaires adopting him. His godfather is one and has attempted multiple times." Bruce sighs, feigning a sorrowful look as he sends Danny a small pout. "What did you do when he tried the fifth time again?"

"I blew up his car, Mr. Wayne." Danny nonchalantly says, "But that only made him want to adopt me more."

Jason blinks, baffled before he's laughing at the utter absurdity of the situation.

"That sounds similar to—"

Gunshots tore through the air as people immediately screamed. At the entrance of the building was the Joker in all his insanity, guns blazing. Jason froze, sucking in a deep breath as he took one step back. They weren't in costume, they weren't the Red Hood and Batman in that moment.

"Nightwing, Robin, and Spoiler are on their way." Oracle says through the comms but that doesn't comfort him in the slightest.

It's chaos in moments and people are ducking their heads to avoid the bullets. Jason and Bruce look right at each other, taking cover as bullets ruin the walls and furniture. But Bruce is dragged from his spot, pulled towards the Joker who laughs maniacally as he pressed a gun against Bruce's head.

"Mr. Wayne!" Many people yell as they all stared in horror as the Joker threatens Gotham's beloved prince.

Jason immediately remembers an explosion and a crowbar.

(Reminder, Danny Fenton was very much ready to go to war for Bruce Wayne).

A tablet and a stylus was suddenly shoved into his arms. Jason blinks, turning to Danny who tugs at his tie and rummages through the counter for something. The Joker sees this, clearly irritated.

"You! Eyes on me!" The Joker practically demands, hysterical that not everyone was paying attention.

Danny apparently doesn't give a damn before looking the Joker straight in the eye.

"Eyes in me." Danny repeats.

A second later something was thrown and a cutter was cutting through the Joker's eye.

Jason gaped at the seemingly harmless secretary, unable to comprehend that this man had just thrown a fucking cutter into the Joker's eye.

Bruce is set free.

Everyone is frozen in place.

Everyone watched as Bruce Wayne's tired and overworked secretary beats the shit out of the Joker, saying something about how he wasn't going to lose a good boss.

No one particularly knows what to do once Danny pulls out the cutter with the Jokers blood and... Fucking shit, was that his eyeball?!

Dick and Damian arrived at some point, also too shocked to do anything. When Danny was done and satisfied, with the Joker still alive, groaning and whimpering from the pain that Danny inflicted.

As if he hadn't almost killed the Joker, Danny turns to them with a tired smile.

"Mr. Wayne, I implore you not to die. I can't lose the best boss that I've had." He plainly says and takes the tablet and stylus back from Jason.

Jason thinks he might just marry this feral man.

Yeah.

Yeah, he was definitely going to marry Danny Fenton.

Part 2 | Masterpost

[yoitsjay]

batboys and brat taming reader who is their best friend(whom they treat like a sugar baby) 👀

The wording confused me a little bit but I think I got it-

I'll take care of you.

Summary: your a brat, a best friend, and a pampered little whore. What else could you want?

Warnings: alluding to smut but none written, spoiling you rotten

Bruce Wayne:

You had known ol’ Brucie a long time. You liked to think of your friendship with him as quite stereotypical. A rich kid who befriends the poor, lowlife kid of a criminal who somehow managed to go to Gotham Academy.

Ever since you were children Bruce always took care of you, he supported you in whatever career path you chose, and when things didn't work out, you could always fall back on him and he would deal with it all. He'd offer multiple times for you to come live at the manor with him but you refused every time. (the bratty part of you just wanted to rile him up and see when he'd snap)

As you two got older, your friendship never wavered, in fact it only got stronger… and that's when the benefits really attached itself to the friends label. Bruce began refusing no for an answer, especially after a really rough run in with one of your abusive exes. He dragged your ass to the manor and set you up with a room, he started paying off any debts you owed, and he got you anything and everything you could ever want.

Yet you were still a brat… he could handle it though, because in the end he knew that your loyalty was his, and he would never betray that trust. He never wanted to lose you.

Dick Grayson:

Whether you were a family friend, or some stranger he saved / met on the street, you and Dick had become really close friends in such a short amount of time. You were both bratty in a way, and each had your fair share of breakups that you could complain about to each other.

You and Dick had a routine where you'd get together after each breakup, either at his house or at yours. You would show up with ice cream, snacks and other things.

and by the end of the night he'd have his cock shoved up your cunt, or your mouth and you both let out your frustrations.

Dick also spoiled the shit out of you. He paid your bills, and was more than happy to do so, he also bought you whatever you wanted, similar to Bruce, and you didn't even have to ask for half the things that he gifted you.

You didnt concider yourself a sugar baby, not until your friends were gossiping about Dick, and told you that he either wanted you to be his girlfriend, or he wanted to keep fucking you, so he spoiled you to gain favor.

either way you shrugged. “And in the end my bills are paid, i have no debt, and i'm happy and have an awesome friend. Sugar baby, girlfriend, I'm taken care of either way.��� You told them, and they just laughed and carried on.

In terms of brattiness, he's the brat, always whining, clawing at you for attention, you gotta put that boy on a leash just to get a break, though you found a way to get him to do what you want…

just a spread of the legs.

Jason Todd:

He has no time for brats, he's a busy man, and he could easily have anyone else to have fun with, but he wanted you, wanted to hang out with you. You were Jason’s friend for who knows how long, so he learned how to deal with your attitude long ago.

Food, most of the time, more often than not, something shoved in your mouth… like his fingers… or his cock.

Just something to suck on, that's all you needed to be satisfied.

Though, he always goes out of his way to make you feel good too, maybe he doesn't spoil you with material items, i feel like Jason is a bit more sentimental, so instead he takes you out to nice restaurants, amusement parks, rage rooms lazer tag- anything and anywhere as long as he gets to spend time with you.

He has no need for a girlfriend either, because he has you, his best friend that he gets to fuck- whats better than that.

Tim Drake:

You're his assistant at Wayne Enterprises, you had been working under him for the past couple of years, since you were about 16 and started your internship there. You both went to the Academy too, so it was easy for you and Tim to fall into a routine together. He'd come to your place and pick you up every morning, you'd get coffee then go to school on the weekdays, then when you worked on the weekends he would come pick you up again, and instead you'd go to work.

You were and are the best damn assistant he's ever had, you had a fiery spirit and didn't let anyone talk down to you, you made people see you as an equal, always. Even Bruce appreciated the way you stood up for yourself and those around you.

You were also attentive to all of Tim’s needs. Yeah that's what an assistant did, but you did way more. And because of the things you did, he would give you constant pay raises, or bonuses for your hard work… Then he started picking up little nick nacks that he knew you liked, he started paying attention to your coffee order, and he'd go buy you coffee.

Best part was, you didn't even notice that he was spoiling you, but your coworkers sure did, and they started the gossip train about you being Tim’s sugar baby.

When it finally reached yours and Tim’s ears, you kind of gave each other a look from across the office.

And then you fell into another rhythm… every day at 2 o’clock during his facetime meeting, you'd be under his desk…

if you could make him break, he’d give you his black card.

This was an arrangement you could get behind.

Damian Wayne:

For some reason you caught his eye. Don't worry, it baffled him too. He didn't understand why he found you so exhilarating.

He hated it.

He talked to you, but he'd degrade you,make fun of you, every chance he got, but he'd always use it as an excuse to get close to you.

When it was time for the senior dance, he found out that you had a few guys asking for you to be their date.

He didn't like that.

One day in the hallway, he walked up to you and he practically shoved you into the lockers. “your going to be my date to senior prom.” He demanded.

You stared at him, an unimpressed look across your face. He stammered. “I- i mean…will- will you go to senior prom with me?” he corrected his sentence-

corrected his sentence! what have you done to him?? This cold, bratty batboy, the richest kid in gotham- and he was groveling at your feet from just one look on your face.

You've reduced him to- to… a simp.

Blasphemy.

Tag list:

All: @francesfarhadi @only-my-unexistent-fiances

Batfam:

BW: @ilaiise

DG: @ilaiise

JT: @ilaiise

TD: @ilaiise

DW: @ilaiise

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

STAR TREK DIALOGUE ANALYSIS OVERVIEW

oh boy so i mentioned this project awhile back and after a long hiatus i'm finally done! (the irony that i wrote this and then took a second equally long hiatus but the point stands.)

i went through transcripts for TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise (thanks to chakoteya.net for those!) and calculated how many lines each main character has in each episode (and season & show as a whole), calculated means, looked at who had a lot of high & low line count episodes, made some graphs, and did some analysis on gender and race.

you can find my whole process & results on a spreadsheet here (it's a little messy. i'm sorry. if someone pays me i'll make it look nice and actually learn how to make good graphs in Google Sheets.) and i'll walk through some Big Results & reactions on this post here under a cut. just so this doesn't get too long, i'll breakdown each show, post my gender & race analysis, and a big list of every character with how much of a focus they get on separate posts. they'll all be tagged as "star trek dialogue analysis".

but first just a disclaimer – i do have professional experience doing data analysis but this is by no means a professional analysis and i'm sure there are plenty of mistakes because this was initially a small personal project that snowballed a little bit. if there are any Major Things you see that are wrong (i.e. i copy and pasted a totally wrong value somewhere) please reach out and i'll correct it if i can. also if anyone wants to use this data for anything, feel free but tag me because i'm curious!

see also: gender analysis // race analysis // tos breakdown // tng breakdown // ds9 breakdown // voyager breakdown // enterprise breakdown // who's the most/least used character?

all of the following graphs measure mean (average) lines of dialogue per episode, averaging all seasons (that they were a main character) together. please refer to the spreadsheet for more detailed information about exact numbers.

unsurprising results... this is the one Star Trek show that really never aspired to be an ensemble show. i was actually surprised by how few lines Spock and McCoy have in comparison to Kirk

also unsurprising that the two characters of color have the fewest lines per episodes in the 60s

Kirk had BY FAR the most lines of dialogue per episode out of all characters i've measured (115.20)

again unsurprising that Picard has more lines by such a wide margin

honestly fairly surprised by how few lines Data had (I thought he'd beat Riker by a decent margin) and was very surprised at how few lines Troi consistently has across the season. like i knew it wasn't many but dang... only 18 lines per episode on average.

and here we can see that ds9 really embraces being an ensemble show with everyone (sans Sisko, Ezri, & Jake) having around the same number of lines on average, probably the most equal overall of any Star Trek show.

Sisko obviously has the most lines as the lead and Jake the fewest because of irl work restrictions (and less kid-centric stories).

i was surprised with how many lines Ezri had but then again her entire character was compressed into a single season so it seems fair. (interestingly, Ezri has the most lines out of anyone in s7 (996), even beating Sisko (874))

despite having the most lines in DS9, Sisko has by far the least out of any main character/Captain of the shows i've measured.

Janeway has the highest average line count out of any 90s character and third highest of any character i measured (69.51)

and again, with the exception of Janeway, we see that Voyager tends to be more ensemble focused than TNG which surprised me a bit given how later seasons are often criticized for ignoring a lot of characters but i think the very ensemble heavy early seasons balance things out.

the characters also generally seem to have more lines on average than either TNG or DS9.

and oof... yeah Voyager was it for the ensemble style show

Archer has the second highest average line count (86.68) for the whole study after Kirk (115.20)

apparently the inception of Enterprise was to recreate the TOS style triumvirate and for better or worse they certainly did.

some overall fun stats –

there are 162,455 total lines of dialogue spoken by the main cast from TOS to Enterprise

somehow there's only a ten line difference between the amount of dialogue spoken in TNG (43,148) and DS9 (43,158)

the 5 characters with the most dialogue per episode in Berman era Trek: Archer (86.68), Janeway (69.51), Picard (69.37), Sisko (50.72), & Tucker (46.03). notably only one woman and one character of color (more on this in a gender & race analysis post)

not including kids, the 5 characters with the least dialogue in Berman era Trek are: Mayweather (13.39), Sato (15.99), Troi (18.11), Kes (18.18), & Neelix (19.68). notably including three women and two characters of color (again, more on this in a different post)

the character who has the most dialogue in a single length episode is Quark with 189 lines in Who Mourns For Morn?

[rewrittenwrongs]

Having thoughts about the League of Assassins. It’s pretty common among them to form hierchy/ranking around who’s a better fighter and who beat/killed who. I can’t remember if it’s canon but I like the idea that to prove your teacher has taught you all they have to teach you must kill them (not sure how that applies to history/math/whatever but. Moving on.) Working off of that idea, a lot of assassins in the organisation would already respect Tim for causing the death/defeat of the Council of Spiders; assassins that are so skilled they kill other assassins for fun. Him then TRICKING RA’S AL GHUL AND BLOWING UP (almost??) ALL OF HIS BASES, AND THEN OUTSMARTING HIM AGAIN WHEN HE TRIES TO DESTROY EVERYTHING BATMAN HAS BUILT, I feel like it’s reasonable to assume a lot of them would’ve decided Tim is the bigger threat or at least proved himself very formidable and a large threat. I imagine a lot of them would’ve sought him out in Gotham and pledged loyalty to him (kind of like Minions seeking out the evilest leader thanks for that thought brain), maybe doing full on traditional rituals to prove the transferring of their loyalty, like blood oaths or ritual spars idk, maybe giving him gifts or displaying their skills so he accepts them as allies rather than being disrespected and killing or maiming them since that’s the standard they expect in the League.

And Tim is uh. Very confused. Very surprised. And also trying hard not to show it. He accepts all the gifts and pledges and shit, because he sure as fuck ain’t gonna turn them back to Ra’s, but after that he doesn’t really know what to do with them. He hires a bunch of them at Wayne Enterprise and Drake Industries, tasks a bunch of them with working for Red Hood on the down low, maybe sends a couple on undercover missions to Arkham Asylum so they start treating inmates as actual human beings and stop using shock therapy or something, and makes sure to write them all up fair contracts and great pay with good work bonuses and plenty of leave, and makes sure most or all of them start going to therapy. The assassins love their new leader and would do practically anything for him.

But anyway, all that aside. I’ve had those thoughts in my head for more than a month. Something that just recently occurred to me is Mara al Ghul. Damian’s cousin. Another child raised by the League of Assassins, only this one never left.

Until, that is, she watches this freshly-immunocompromised vigilante arguably outsmart her grandfather twice, and decides he is the bigger threat, actually, I want to be on his good side when he takes over the world.

So now Tim is being forced into basically adopting this feral child, who’s only experience in American society was undercover missions to kill people, who thinks decapitated heads are reasonable gifts, who’s introduction to Tim was something batshit insane like dumping the Joker’s head in his lap because the Joker is Gotham’s most dangerous rogue and of course Tim will appreciate having him gone. But even with a well crafted facade she can tell Tim is unnerved and horrified, so she must be doing something wrong. Maybe it was because the Joker is Batman’s enemy and not Tim’s specifically? But Tim doesn’t have any arch nemesis aside from maybe Ra’s who she obviously can’t kill, so she does more research into Tim’s life and background and finds out Captain Boomerang killed his father so next she brings Tim HIS head and she can already tell he’s much more pleased this time. But there’s still that edge of unsettlement and wariness, and he’s acting so strange around her, so she digs deeper and finds out about the Titans Tower incident but Tim sent all these other assassins to work for red hood so they must be on good terms, and then she finds out about all the bad blood between him and Damian and Dick so she starts trying to kill them next, starting with Damian obviously (a mix of jealousy over him leaving the league and a good amount of cousin rivalry/cain instinct), but Tim stops the fight and tells her to stand down and now she’s scared that he’s going to punish her and Ra’s’ punishments were always so harsh and perhaps this time she can’t quite fight down the urge to hide.

Meanwhile, Tim is being dragged through a parent arc kicking and screaming, the bats are wondering why the hell there are suddenly so many assassins only after they scare off Ra’s, Jason is more or less vibing because he thinks the assassins are from Talia and the Joker’s dead so of course he’s ecstatic (even tho he wishes he knew who did it so he can thank them), Dick and Damian are still reeling from learning Bruce is alive/getting him back from the time stream when all of a sudden this masked child comes out of nowhere mid patrol and attacks Damian, and isn’t backing down even though Dick arrived quickly but when Red Robin arrives and yells stop she’s already three rooftops away by the time he’s done speaking. Everyone is tired and doesn’t know what the hell is going on except mayybe Oracle.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Red Hood Enterprises

Jeff: Okay, here’s the deal. Boss is unexpectedly unavailable tonight, so it’s up to us.

Assembled Red Hood Goons: *nodding*

Jeff: And we are NOT going to screw this up, right?

Goon: *more nodding*

Jeff: Good. Now, who has the posters?

Later

Mrs. Abarca, High School Physics Teacher: Can I help you, gentlemen?

Jeff: Hi, yes, we’re here for the career fair?

Mrs. Abarca: Do you have your confirmation forms?

Jeff: Oh, yeah, right here.

Mrs. Abarca, reading the form: “Red Hood Enterprises…”

Mr. Garber, High School History Teacher:

Ms. Patel, High School English Teacher:

Mrs. Abarca: *clears throat* May I see your display materials?

Dan: I gott’em. *holds up one of the posters*

Ms. Patel: Those look… very lovely.

Dan, beaming: Thank you, ma’am.

Mr. Garber, reading a flyer he just got handed by one of Red Hood’s…employees: “How to read and understand a benefits package…”

Jeff, nodding: It’s important sh- … uh, stuff to know when looking for a job.

Victor: Yeah, otherwise you might end up with some kind of fu- … er, lame insurance coverage or something.

Ms. Patel: Insurance coverage…

Aiden: Yeah, like my first job? Total shi……… really lousy. Benefits. Pretty bad. Didn’t even have dental.

Ms. Patel, reading over the flyer: These are actually all really good points…

Mrs. Abarca: Well. Why don’t you boys just go on in and get your things set up.

Jeff: Thank you!

*a dozen or so red hood goons head towards the gym*

Ms. Patel: Do you think this is okay?

Mr. Garber: Do you think he’s hiring?

Mrs. Arbaca: Was that Aiden Sergeant?

Mr. Garber: Huh, I think it was.

Ms. Patel: Who?

Mrs. Arbaca: Oh, he would have been here before you started teaching.

Mr. Garber: What, six years ago or so?

Mrs. Arbaca: Hmm. Yes. Nice kid. Very good at math.

Ms. Patel: Huh.

Later, at the manor

Duke: Okay, you would not BELIEVE who I saw at the career fair.

Steph: What? Who?

Duke: Jeff.

Steph: Wait, like-

Duke: Yeah. THAT Jeff.

Steph: Wow.

Duke: Right?

Steph: What was he there for? Demolitions?

Duke, shaking his head: HR representative.

Steph: Huh.

Duke: For Red Hood.

Steph:

Steph: Huh.

[jaythes1mp]

HI HOW ARE YOU I HOPE YOU’RE WELL!

I loved the way you wrote the Goldfish! Reader one shot I was surprised you wrote it so fast but excited! You could’ve taken your time with writing but it had me giddy when I was reading it!

This idea popped up again in my head from where you said that Conner would have to break the news to Damian about the goldfish reader not being there and it’s a fake fish that looks real similar.

During lunch:

Conner who barley had any classes with Damian that day and only could meet with him during lunch: H hey buddy you know that’s not goldfish! Reader right?

Damian who’s feeding the fish: hmm what do you mean of course it’s them.

Conner who can see the little differences and maybe hear the different heartbeat or something: that’s not them

Damian realizing the differences is like: this is just a common fish?! Who could’ve- *cuts himself off realizing who and growls out* Drake!

*the common goldfish just vibing, liking the tank and food* (^.^)

Wayne Enterprises:

Tim who’s doing paper work for Bruce sneezes out of nowhere: huh wonder who’s talking about me now?

*Tim smiles at reader in goldfish form realizing it’s time to feed me opens the enclosures little lid or something dropping premium pellets in*

Tim: here you go some food! Huh it’s time for lunch for me too.

*goldfish! Reader who had been sleeping on a comfy rock perks up at the sound of fish pellets hitting the water*

Goldfish! Reader!: As much as I hate the fact that I’m like this these some really good freaking premium fish pellets *the words just come out in air bubbles*

*quickly swims to get them and eats the pellets going through the hoop that’s in the tank after that and decides to go to the filter bubbles bored swimming against the mini current letting it push them away having fun and than determined to not get pushed by said current so swims determinedly against it*

Tim watching this taking pictures that he’s definitely gonna print later: Wow look at you go!

ALSO WOW THE BIG GOLDFISH BLEW MY MIND!

Also another scenario Raccoon! Reader sneaking out and determined to get to the trash and is going through it when their picked up by an unamused Alfred who promptly squirts them with a water bottle as he carries them back into the manor taking and scolding them and the reader just chitters and screeches angrily at him but doesn’t attack him because he makes good food.

Raccoon! Reader: *chittering and screeching angrily in Raccoon speak* Alfred it’s in my nature to do this you can’t stop me! The other raccoons are doing it why can’t I?! You’re embarrassing me and ruining my street cred in front of them! *sees the other raccoons nearby and screeches louder chittering more embarrassed and angry* I’m not a cub / kit s not fair! *throughs up paws to cover themselves the face and grabbing their ears*

Alfred tsking carrying them by the scruff: We must take you a bath now and take out that raccoon book bag harness (like a kids child leash book bag thing) during the night! Who would like to have you first during the night to make sure you don’t escape hmm Master Richard or Master Damian? Or Master Bruce?

Raccoon! Reader: *screeches more*

SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK/ SCENARIO! IT JUST WOULDN’T LEAVE MY HEAD!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/ NIGHT/ EVENING!!!!💜💚🩵💙❤️🩷💛🩶🖤🧡

⭐️anon

Hey ⭐️! I’m good, how are you?

These are so cute!! I love your little raccoon reader scenario. If they were more lenient yans who know that you’ll come back, then that would definitely happen.

Also, RIGHT??? Goldfish facts are actually crazyy

「SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK/SCENARIO! IT WOULDN’T LEAVE MY HEAD!」 ← anytime dude! I love these💚

Masterlist

[purplespacekitty]

rewatching TOS now as an adult after having seen only a few episodes when i was much younger, i have a deeper appreciation for the Triumvirate and co. i always liked Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, Chapel and Chekov more than the main three, but i find myself overjoyed at any scene involving any of them. i also really loved Sulu and Rand’s friendship in season 1, it gave us a glimpse into their lives as crew members and just as human beings. i love that they are each essential to the running of the ship and truly choose to stick by each other and these three silly little guys for so long. i love knowing that Uhura sings because Nichelle Nichols was a theatrical singer. i love that Sulu wished for an old fashioned gun and is an unabashed plant nerd. i love that Scotty loves the Enterprise more than he cares about someone insulting Kirk. i love that Chekov actually expresses frustration at being treated like a kid. i love Rand's hair, impracticality be damned. i love that they have their own lives but are all drawn back to the Enterprise. the supporting cast add a texture to the show that i firmly believe it could not do without.

that said, i also find i have a deeper appreciation for the relationships between Kirk, Spock and McCoy. of course, the tension between Kirk and Spock is certainly intriguing, but it’s hard not to see them as an incomplete duo without Bones. i think there’s this sort of expectation that in groups of three, one person will always get left out. Bones doesn’t even have the choice of being left out, he gets dragged along with the two of them in every stupid decision they make. and they rub off on him: he may gripe more often than he sings praises, but he’ll readily give his life for Jim or Spock any day. because despite whatever he might say (and he really does say some awful things), he finds joy in their company. and most of the time, he only gripes because he cares. he's frequently frowning and prickly over Jim and Spock's nonsense, yet he has such a tender heart. that’s so interesting to me.

i wasn't expecting Bones to become my favorite of the three, but here we are.

everyone talks about Amok Time as the birth of Spirk, K/S, the Premise. but Spock asked them both to be there. as logical as it may be to bring a doctor with you to your wedding/sex ritual/divorce/fight to the death, especially when you're afflicted by an intense blood fever that's slowly killing you, Spock knew the possible outcomes. either there would be no need for a doctor in the end or someone would die and what good would a doctor be in that occasion? he calls them both his friends when he justifies Jim and Bones' presence to T'Pau. he knew he needed them both down there. and frankly, someone would have died if Bones hadn't been there.

it wouldn’t be fair to say Bones keeps the other two in check, because really, what he is, is a point of balance. whether you read the relationship between Jim, Spock and/or Bones as romantic, sexual, platonic, professional or even familial, the balance they hold together as a trio is fundamental to how they are written as characters.

i just think it's beautiful.

[incorrectbatfam]

I really enjoy your retail Seph so I ask myself this how would the rest of the Batfam fair in the same boat?

Margie | Batfam | Rogues | Justice League

[grocery store] 

Steph: Think you're ready for the deli counter? 

Duke: Psh, yeah. How hard can it be? 

Bruce: Hi, I'll do ten pounds of brisket, please. 

Duke: Brisket. That's... uh...

Steph, whispering: The brown one. 

Duke: *starts scooping taco meat* 

———————

[clothing store] 

Steph: The most important thing is to balance candid feedback with staying on the customer's good side. 

Dick: Got it.

Bruce, coming out of the dressing room: How does this look? 

Dick: Terrible. 

———————

[restaurant] 

Steph: Babs, can you ask Table 3 how they like their steak done? 

Babs: Sure. 

Babs, to Bruce: How would you like your steak done? 

Bruce: Medium rare, please. And can I get some more ice? 

Babs: Absolutely.

*ten minutes later*

Babs: One steak with ice. 

———————

[drive-thru] 

Steph: Once you see their order on the screen, just tell them to go to the next window. 

Cass: *nods*

Bruce: *pulls up to the drive-thru*

Bruce: One Batburger combo, hold the fry seasoning. 

Cass: *puts the order in*

Cass, whispering ominously: See you at window. 

———————

[furniture store] 

Bruce: Can someone help me move this dresser to my car? 

Steph: Sure. Jason? 

Jason, exhausted: Seriously? I just hauled that lady's fridge.

Steph: Jason...

Jason: Ugh, fine.

Steph: And don't forget to smile.

Jason, smiling through gritted teeth: You owe me.

———————

[coffee shop] 

Steph: Okay Timmy, you're on register. 

Tim: Yes ma'am.

Tim, to Bruce: What can I get you?

Bruce: I'll do the smoked salmon, cream cheese, and bagel sandwich.

Tim: Would you like cream cheese in it?

Bruce: ...Yes.

Tim: And smoked salmon?

Bruce: That's what I said...

Tim: And you want that on a bagel?

———————

[call center] 

Steph: School projects are so weird nowadays. Anyway, Damian, did you read the employee handbook?

Damian: All 917 pages. 

Steph: Nice job. I'll have you take the next call then. 

*phone rings*

Damian: Wayne Enterprises account support, how may I assist you?

Bruce: I need to change my password but the website is undergoing maintenance. 

Damian: One moment.

Damian: *types into the computer*

Damian: Done.

Bruce: You... you changed my password?

Damian: Yes. 

Bruce: What is i—

Damian: *hangs up*

Damian: *gives Steph a thumbs up*

———————

[at home]

Bruce: Steph, between you and me, you're the best among us. 

[softerseasons]

Juno, out of curiosity, what does an accountant DO? What does it mean to be one? Because I know there's math involved. I've heard it's very boring. But I don't know anything else and I'm curious because you're very good at putting things to words.

Okay first of all, I cannot express just how excited I got when I first saw this message. There is nothing I love more than talking about things I know about, and usually when my career is mentioned I don't get questions so much as immediate "Oh, bless you" and "I could never"s. Which- totally fair! For some people, accounting would be boring as all hell! But for a multitude of reasons, I adore it.

There are multiple types of accounting. The type most people tend to be more familiar with is that done by CPAs- CPAs, or Certified Public Accountants, are those that have done the lengthy and expensive process to be certified to handle other peoples' tax documents and submit taxes in their name, amongst other things. Yawn, taxes, right? Well, the thing with that is that there's a lot of little loopholes that tax accountants have to remain familiar with, because saving their clients a little more here or getting a little more back there can really add up, and can do a lot for people who, say, have enough money to afford to hire someone to do their taxes but not necessarily enough to be going hog wild with. Public accountants can work for large firms or by themselves, and also do things like preparing financial statements for businesses, auditing businesses to ensure all of their financial transactions are true and accurately reported to shareholders and clients, and consulting on how finances can be managed to maximize revenue (money in - money out = revenue, in very simple terms).

The type of accounting I do is private accounting! That basically just means that I work for a company in their in-house accounting/finance department. Private accounting tends to get split up into several different areas. My company has Payroll, Accounts Receivable, and Accounts Payable.

Payroll handles everyone's paychecks, PTO, ensuring the correct amount of taxes are withheld from individuals per their desires, and so on. Accounts Receivable handles money flow into the company- so when our company sells the product/service, our Accounts Receivable people are the ones who review the work, create the invoices, send the invoices to the clients, remind clients about overdue invoices, receive incoming payments via ACH (Automatic Clearing House- direct bank-to-bank deposits), Wire (Usually used for international transactions), or Check, and prepare statements that show how much revenue we are expected to gain in a period of time, or have gained in a period of time. This requires a lot of interfacing with clients and project managers.

My department is Accounts Payable. Accounts Payable does basically the other side of the coin from what Accounts Receivable does. We work mostly with vendors and our purchasing/receiving departments. We receive invoices from people and companies that have sold us products/services we need in order to make our own products/perform our services, enter them into our ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning, a system that integrates the departments in a company together- there are many different ERPs, and most people simply refer to their ERP as "the system" when talking internally to other employees of the same company that they work at, because saying the name of the system is redundant) using a set of codes that automatically places the costs into appropriate groups to be referenced for later financial reports, and run the payment processing to ensure that the vendors are being paid.

To break that down because I know that was a lot of words, here's some things I do in my day-to-day at work:

- Reconciliations, making sure two different statements match up: the most common one is Credit Card reconciliations, ensuring that there are appropriately coded entries in the system that match the payments made on our credit line in our bank.

- Invoice entry: this is basic data entry, for the most part. This can have two different forms, though

- Purchase Order Invoice entry: Invoices that are matched both to the service/product provided from the vendor and the purchase order created by our Purchasing/Receiving department. We ensure that the item, the quantity, and the price all match between our records, the purchase order, and the invoice, before we enter this.

- Hard Coded Invoice entry: Invoices that we enter manually due to there being no Purchase Order for them. This is often recurring services, like cleaning or repairs, that may happen too often or have prices vary too much for Purchase Orders to be practical.

- Cleaning up old purchase orders: sometimes Purchase Orders are put in the system and then never fulfilled. Because this shows on financial statements as being a long-standing open commitment, it looks bad, so we have to periodically research these and find out if the vendor simply didn't send us the invoice, if the order was cancelled, or if something else is going on.

- Forensics! This is my personal favorite part of the job, where someone has massively borked something that is affecting my work, and so I go dig into it, sometimes going back as four or five years in records to find the origin point of the first mistake, and untangling the threads of what happened following that mistake to get us to where we are today. There's an entire field called Forensic Accounting that is basically just doing This but for other companies (it's a subset of auditing, and often is done via the IRS) and that's my dream position to be totally honest. I loooove the dopamine hit i get with solving the mystery and getting praised for doing so faster than anyone else has even begun to realize the problem to start with.

- Balancing Credits/Debits: This is more of a Main Accountant role thing, but the long and short of it is that every business has Assets, Liabilities, and Equity. Liabilities and Equity are what we put into the company/what we owe, and assets are what we have received/what we are owed. Anything that increases Assets or lowers Liabilities or Equity is a Debit. Anything that decreases Assets or raises Liabilities or Equity is a Credit. Every monetary change we process has to include an equal Debit and Credit. This is its own whole lecture, so if you wanna know more about double-entry accounting, let me know, but it's yawnsville for most people.

- Actually cutting checks or initiating bank payments to vendors for amounts we owe them.

- Vendor communication: I'm on the phones and email a lot with vendors who are wondering where their payment is, or why something was short-paid, or if I can change some of their info in our system, and so on and so on. Every job is customer service, unfortunately. I don't love it, but I do a lot less of it in private accounting than I would have to do in public accounting.

- Spreadsheets: I make so many spreadsheets I am a goddamn Excel wizard. I love spreadsheets. This isn't necessarily accounting-specific though, most people in Finance jobs love spreadsheets, or at least use them to make their lives easier. I make them just for fun, because I'm a giant fucking nerd who finds that kind of thing enjoyable lol. So if you ever need a spreadsheet made for anything, hit me up.

As for math, that's a pretty common misconception. While there is math, it is very rarely more complicated than "I paid $3 of the $8 I owe, now I owe $5" for me. There are some formulas you learn in school (Business Administration with a focus in Accounting is what I studied), but they're also pretty standard and rarely include more than like... basic algebra. Which. Thanks @ god because I flunked so hard out of pre-calc in college. I could not have done accounting if it really were all that math heavy.

Aaaand yeah! That's all I've got off the top of my head- if you have any more questions about it, do let me know, I'm happy to ramble on for hours, but I'm cutting it here so I don't start meandering on without direction lol.

[kelliealtogether]

I'm hoping to have one last fic typed up, edited, and posted by the end of 2024, but as the year is winding down, I figured I'd post a wrap-up of the works I've completed this year. So here they are, from longest to shortest. 😌

In Comes the Tide - 45k - Rated T

Performing a simple, polite gesture should not result in a marriage, but—Adam Parrish learned—this did not apply to selkies. The summer before his senior year at Harvard, Adam returns to the same small coastal town where he's spent the past two summers. Bussing tables isn't what he wants to do with his life, but the dockside seafood shack where he works is popular, and the tips the employees split pad his bank account enough to afford a more leisurely fall when he gets back to Cambridge. Little does Adam know he's in for a very surprising summer when a selkie shows up at The Sea Shanty and Adam saves his coat...

While There's Breath in My Body - 11k - Rated E

Adam Parrish had lived in Port Royal for twenty years. He’d been around ships for almost two thirds of his life. In all that time, only one ship ever raised the hair on his arms each time it came to port, and it was not the ship itself, but the man who stood at its helm. A skirmish could put a ship’s fate in someone else’s hands. A storm or a cannon ball could put it at the bottom of the sea. A rampant illness could leave it crewless and adrift, waiting for the next enterprising group of sailors to come on board. But a particular flag, a particular captain… Those raised Adam’s hair far more than any combination of masts, sails, and anchors ever would.

A Pirate AU

Hello, I'm in Delaware - 7k - Rated G

Has anyone ever told you that you look like a fed?” “I am a fed.” “And it’s disgusting how much you don’t hide it.” Adam Parrish travels the country covering up sightings of dreamt cryptids. When he gets called to Delaware to investigate a creature caught on home security footage, he asks for some help from a dreamer. His fiancé, Ronan Lynch.

The Magician Entertainment - 5k - Rated G

When Adam Parrish reveals he knows sleight of hand at a company team building event, he doesn't realize how big of a mistake he's made until one of his colleagues corners him a few days later in the office kitchen. The entertainment Declan Lynch hired for his daughter's birthday party bailed, and Declan has ideas about who can fill that void: Adam. Adam agrees — simply because Declan offers him the easiest $500 Adam will ever earn — though Adam's not happy about it. It's only when he arrives at the party that he realizes he might be able to perform some actual magic. With Declan's younger brother, Ronan.

Just Coffee - 4k - Rated G

The new barista at Fox Way Cafe was hot as shit. Or Ronan Lynch hoped he was new. That was the only reasonable excuse why the barista sucked at barista-ing and seemed to provide the fucking worst customer service known to man. The way the guy’s thin smile faltered when he asked someone how he could help them said he’d rather throw himself into an active volcano — or possibly a tiny metal pitcher of freshly steamed milk, given the setting — than take another order for a nonfat pumpkin spice peppermint patty latte with almond milk or whatever, but damn, Ronan would stand in line all day if it meant watching the new guy epically fail at providing a good customer experience. Ronan Lynch doesn't mean to become a regular at Fox Way Cafe, but when he sees the cafe's newest employee for the first time, he decides to keep going back again, and again, and again. At least until the new barista learns how to spell his name...

Rock Beats Scissors - 2k - Rated M

Really, if they wanted to keep things fair and equitable, they could have found some impartial way to make the decision. Flipping a coin. Drawing straws. Rolling a die. But being distractingly hard didn’t always allow for rational thinking, and for two eighteen-year-old boys who appreciated the more physical aspects of life, neither of them would have been willing to hit the pause button to scramble out of bed and find a quarter or an old board game. They just kept going until someone gave in, and no matter who put what where, they both ended up exceedingly happy with the results. Which worked. Until the first time neither of them wanted to give in. When Adam and Ronan can't agree on who's going to top, they solve their problem the old fashioned way: rock paper scissors.

The Singular Formula - 2k - Rated G

It was because he spent his nights on Adam’s floor awake that Ronan heard Adam talk in his sleep in the first place, and though he might not have remembered when he first heard Adam sleep talking, Ronan would never forget what Adam said. Seal off the wall. Don’t let the submarines in. When Ronan starts sleeping over at Adam's tiny apartment above St. Agnes, he learns something about Adam he hadn't known before: Adam talks in his sleep.

Safe Bet - 1k - Rated G

The guy tilted his head slightly as if to say fair, and he lifted a long, lovely hand to push a lock of dusty hair back off his forehead as he looked at Ronan. “I might be, but I hope not.” One corner of his thin lips twitched, then he said, “Because I have a proposition.” Ronan stared. Blinked. He had not anticipated his evening taking this kind of turn when he’d needed to get out of his older brother’s apartment. Ronan loved his brothers Declan and Matthew — who he’d come to stay with while he tried to make his life less directionless — but sometimes three Lynches under one roof was too much. Evenly, he said, “A proposition.” When Ronan Lynch is approached by a hot stranger at a bar, the last thing he expects is that he'll be drawn into the guy's scheme to win a bet against his coworkers.

I've got tons of pots simmering on my stove going into 2025, so here's to another year of writing about these two idiot assholes falling in love over and over again. 🥰

[alacants]

re: the juanki/rafa lore. i wonder if you have any thoughts about their respective academies? the more i read about ferrero's academy, and how it's been this slow, long process started by ferrero's coach and like they all still live there and make improvements vs. rafa's just kind of springing into existence in 2017 i do wonder if that caused any feelings lol. there was that one interview where juanki said "i don't think it's right to just put your name on smth and show up 3-4x a year" lol

HA god i can’t believe i didn’t think to incorporate that angle—great point, that zinger was not meant to be subtle. that it can be overlooked out just bears out your point, really. equelite is fundamental to any consideration of juanki and Rafa Nadal Academy By Movistar is more or less an entirely separate entity from rafa nadal the person.

to be fair i understand it's more or less toni nadal’s project? (what isn’t toni nadal’s project…) but also—it’s part of the rafa nadal empire. the rafa nadal industrial complex. are they even competing for the same market share? i don't know enough about that market to judge—my gut says no, and i would imagine that to juanki it must feel to some extent like apples and oranges. but also, i'm sure, like who the hell do you think you are. perfect opportunity to claim the moral high ground AND the martyr's mantle.

(btw i remember hearing something about young jannik sinner being... invited? to the rafacademy, but it cost too much. can't for the life of my track that down so if anyone reading this remembers that please share because THAT is a fascinating alternate history lmao.)

it’s really just their image clash writ large, isn’t it. "the best in spain" vs "the best in the world." "achieve your goals" vs "the sky’s the limit." "it's not about me personally, also there's a giant mural of my face in the cafeteria" vs "the rafa brand is our most valuable asset and it would be idiotic not to leverage that." the natural counter-positioning to Extraterrestrial Star is Humble and Hardworking, and if you don't shape your own image someone else will shape it for you.

here are two world number ones who have made their sleepy hometowns (or as-good-as) the locus of their post-competitive networks. now let's see how different they could possibly be. toni cascales advised juanki from day one to diversify for both financial and psychological reasons, so there was the academy. the hotel. the winery. the valencia open. these are all very, like… reasonable projects. they probably seemed ambitious at the time! Meanwhile In Manacor, we've got the rafa nadal museum, the rafa nadal sports centre, and the rafa nadal international school. ngl as very much NOT a rafa expert i went to double check my hazy recollections of scale and the reality vastly outstripped them lmao. they've even got their own juicy urban planning war!

(an interesting aside here is that in 2014 jcf academy… well whether they opened a branch in shenzhen or just lent their brand to the enterprise is sort of an open question. it was certainly presented as a branch of jcf academy, in cooperation with gemdale/hongjindi sports, but now it seems to be operating entirely under the hongjindi name. this is relevant only in the sense that it’s interesting to see these sort of tentative overtures that ultimately either were withdrawn or petered out. whereas a friend recently told me about the ig ad they got for a rafa nadal academy seminar in a suburb of boston.)

this is extremely rambling and discursive lmao SORRY. i have a lot of thoughts in general about juanki and the academy that is his parent/child/home/cult/identity/locus of self/ready-made magical realism prompt. is it a piece of him or is he a piece of it. did he make it or did it eat him. the fact that toni cascales still introduces himself as "juan carlos' coach, i'll be his coach for the rest of my life." i imagine that you in particular, op, have already seen this but for those interested in this topic who haven’t, watch no strings: juan carlos ferrero from (iirc) 2005 to get a glimpse of just how deeply juanki is embedded in the place, how it’s grown around him literally from day one. "he likes racing so we built him a race course here on the campus. so he can be safe. :)"

it's in the eye of the beholder as to whether you find this wholesome and heartwarming or a seething hotbed of unexamined hangups. guess which side i come down on!

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

One freebie

"How's your Pa's tractor running?" you ask, pouring Clark a cup of coffee.

"Like a dream," he answered grinning. Bruce had been annoyed about it when he'd asked, but you'd come out. Done a whole tune-up. And tweaked a bunch of stuff. Overhauled some stuff. Welded... things Clark had never really gotten the hang of.

"Good," you hum nodding, satisfied. "I tried to make sure it would be a good bit before they'd have to take care of any of it- but I'd be happy to come out if they need it."

"I appreciate it," he said honestly. "I'm sure I couldn't pay whatever it was worth but-"

"I told you then, I don't need the money." You shrug and gesture around at the cabin. "Jackie left me pretty well set up even if his brain did have more holes in it than swiss cheese by the end. And Bruce, even if he is an anal retentive asshole about some things IS very fair and my contracts were always very generous. A lot of things I created for Wayne Enterprises I retained a TON of rights for. And what I created for Batman he paid me for outright."

Clark nodded, feeling himself flush. "Why did you leave?" Usually, you're not this... candid. Everything is couched in acidic sarcasm and dry humor. Distraction and redirection. You're charming. You're funny. You're gorgeous. You're talented. And if you dazzle everyone enough, no one can see just how... damaged you are.

"I think," you say ruefully, "that Bruce has just outgrown me." You take a sip of your coffee and shrug again. "He's not a scared little boy anymore. He doesn't need someone to stand up to the bigger boys for him."

Clark snorted, "Ma'am, I don't think so-"

"Then he needs to learn that for himself," you tell him. "I'm not going to be the person who stands in his way."

"Fair enough," Clark said. And for a moment, he watched you. And it hurt. He'd heard broken hearts. And this sounded like one. All around the country, people were speculating about the rift right now. About where you had gone. Never dreaming that you were hiding in the middle of nowhere licking your wounds.

And it hit like lightning.

The realization that since you were 9, your whole life was ice skating and Bruce Wayne. Outside of Jackie and Bruce- there was no one close to you. Not really.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked. Not sure what else to say. Or ask. Or do.

"Fine," you shrug, "There's always a new project. And I do like to Travel this time of year."

Clark smiled a little, "You live a charmed life."

[anneapocalypse]

See I just don't think Dawntrail particularly pulls its punches on the horrors of the Alexandrian invasion--not when the whole aesthetic of Heritage Found is designed to be dark and sinister, not when the raid series seems to be foreshadowing the end of the soul economy, not when all the Scions and Wuk Lamat have dialogue about how disturbing they find it, and not when shutting down Living Memory is a major plot point, a firm narrative condemnation of the whole enterprise. It's certainly fair to wish that, for example, Erenville had gotten more screentime, but his whole journey of learning the awful truth about his mother and his home is very much presented as one of dawning horror.

No, what Dawntrail actually pulls its punches on, and hard, is the deleterious effects of foreign and particularly Sharlayan influences on Turali cultures and ways of life. This I think is why why everything in Shaaloani immediately rubbed me the wrong way, even before I'd seen the Alexandria plot unfold. Even without explicit colonization, we see how outside influence and the demand for ceruleum has changed the very landscape of Xak Tural, forced its indigenous cultures to the outskirts. And yet Shaaloani refuses to commit to its own premise in any meaningful way. It can't even commit to the shallow conceit of the Wild West, and thus we get the impossibly stupid scenario of cowboys dueling with rubber bullets.

And then the dome appears: an eerie, otherworldly threat. The invaders from another world. Don't worry about the effects of ceruleum mining on the local wildlife. Don't worry about what communities these mining towns have replaced and displaced. Don't question the decision to blend an explicitly colonial American culture with indigenous-inspired names; don't ask whether "Old West but no colonialism, really, we promise" even makes sense as a premise. Don't worry about it. The real enemies are over there, in the cyberpunk dystopia.

In light of this sort of "no, really, look over there!" storytelling, other details that might otherwise have felt innoccuous enough become suspect to me: Ketenramm as the Good Explorer who has integrated himself into Turali culture and is BFFs with the Dawnservant and would never do a colonialism. The Shetona character from one of the role quests whose life is changed by learning that spectacles are a thing because apparently it's only in Tural that no one has invented them. The explanation for aetherytes existing in Tural--a necessity for gameplay reason, but to make them a Sharlayan export rather than having the Turali simply have invented their own is a choice that was made. The creators clearly wanted to draw from real world influences, cultures, and history, but also chose to stop short of examining the implications of those influences in any areas where it might make the familiar nations of our favorite characters culpable.

I loved Dawntrail and still have great affection for it for many reasons, but imo Shaaloani is the real weak link, the most obvious example of a desire to draw from real world influences while avoiding their implications, a glaring monument to questions the story declines to ask.

[remnants]

thots about tommy wayne under the cut 👇🏾😚👍🏾

ok so in my head he's not from gotham lol (my guy is east coast mean, which is pretty mean, but not gotham mean which translates to being the sweetest guy on earth once you’re within the city limits). he's the illegitimate and son of patrick wayne and his daddy wouldn't claim him bc the affair/one-night-stand/whatever-you-wanna-call-it happened while he was very much married (fuck this guy fr!) and his wife was very much pregnant (oh brother this guy STINKS!!!). anywayyyy elizabeth mitchell isn’t stupid and knows a fight she can't win when she sees one so she leaves gotham for new york when the test comes back positive and patrick won’t pick up her calls.

and things are going good! she's made a little name for herself as a local nightclub singer and she's got a job waiting tables during the day that makes good money and sure things were a little touch and go for a while and sure there were times where she was sure that they weren't gonna make it but she got her baby through school (he graduated valedictorian btw) and now he's in the first year of his pre med undergraduate degree at the local university on a full scholarship (her parenting HER parenting).

so imagine her surprise when the billionaire deadbeat of the hour shows up on her doorstep one day talking about family duty and lines of succession.

patrick amadeus wayne jr. is dead. dead dead dead. and while it wasn't really a surprise to anyone with eyes (weak lungs can only take so many wet gotham winters and the tabloids were saying that the cough he sported at the latest gala sounded particularly nasty), he was by all appearances an only child (francesca wayne could barely get pj out let alone carry another baby to term) and the waynes were fumbling for someone to take his place before the body was even cold.

the transition is as rough as you would expect, what with the stony silences from his father’s wife (stepmother? who knows, not that either of them would ever acknowledge the relation) whenever they cross paths in the manor (francesca wayne never makes an outside appearance in gotham society again after the passing of her son. she enters a period of seclusion and never emerges, spending her days wandering the halls in mourning blacks and lighting candles in prayer), and sometimes being called patrick or pj by the gotham upper class (intentionally or not. though he suspects intentionally because his mother’s side of the family got the monopoly on his looks). it’s very obvious that he doesn’t fit in but hey, free college is free college and his mama is gonna be set for life if he can just see this through.

of course the whole thing doesn’t go over well (a long lost father suddenly appearing on your doorstep and claiming you only because his other kid died would put most people off to be completely fair) but after some yelling and screaming and haggling, compromises are made. in exchange for thomas moving to gotham and being prepped to take over as head of wayne enterprises, his mother is also to be put up in a fancy brownstone on the upper east side and given enough in allowance (in addition to the 18 years of child support she never got) so that she never has to work again and thomas is to be allowed to continue his studies, graduate medical school (in gotham and not at john hopkins like he planned. rip it was literally his dream school), and become a doctor (i like to think becoming a doctor was solely a thomas wayne endeavor. all the wayne men before him were men of business and trade but tommy has wanted to help people his entire life and he’ll be damned if he lets his father keep him from following his dreams). there’s a handshake and signatures signed on a drawn-up contract (because patrick wayne doesn’t do anything by halves and of course he brought the family lawyer to meet his son after 19 years of pretending he didn’t exist) and thomas goes from a two-bedroom apartment in hell’s kitchen to a bedroom the same size (and then some) right outside of gotham city.

and he does see it through, very well in fact! thomas wayne graduates top of his class in undergrad at gotham university as well as in medical school, is granted a residency at gotham general, and eventually becomes the head of surgery. Along the way, he meets a girl named martha, gets married, and has a beautiful baby boy named bruce (after his maternal grandfather ofc) and the rest is history!

[45622211111]

the description fits this sukuna drawn by @cuviz . i'll commission (they're open!) a fitting piece to this story, so stay tuned.

"…field worker of food enterprise »yūjiocha« has collapsed on the 24th of this august. health officials have shared that the 52-year-old suffered from breathing difficulties up to a heat stroke. following this shocking incident, the company has been under fire due to its low payment of field and indoor workers in rural sendai. the company's domicile in tokyo has been blocked by strikers as we speak, demanding fair working conditions. what makes citizens worry is the CEO-"

"anotha day with the same ol' stories," the taxi-driver mumbles, his head cowering under the windshield to examine the billboards.

you follow his direction and are greeted with the shiny exterior of ads over ads, raging from fashion brands to promotional thumbnails for upcoming movies. they contrast wonderfully with the grey and damp weather, the vividness too intense for this early traffic jam.

orange plus green letters of the said brand appear with a 3d animation of a rotating matcha tea packet. the name alone makes you swallow, your shoulders knotted as rain drops glide down the window. "hm, unfortunately."

"headin' there, aren't ya? ya're with dose devils?" you are quick to pick out his sarcasm but don't hold back from covering your chest with sweaty hands. "no, no! i'm here for the press conference! have to step in for my colleague, that's why."

"ya nervous?" from the backseat you hear the lightness in his tone. if he can sense it, than what's the point of trying to make excuses? really, it was a mixture of both excitement and nauseau. if it weren't for your co-worker telling you last minute, you would've had to wait for the next blue moon. it couldn't be compared to the never-ending online researches at home - this was a once in a life time opportunity for your career.

your thoughts come to an abrupt stop when the car pulls over. "kick their asses, yeah?"

"… queries are only allowed within your designated time. please refrain from shouting out," after half an hour of a protracted introduction with the help of a slide-show, the lady in glasses puts the microphone down - especially painful when your view is blocked by loads of technical equipment and tall backs of men in suits.

"good morning, shibuya network speaking here. we're interested in hearing the opinion of the CEO himself." the reporter sits down and the action builds anticipation in you with how swift this already works. nothing like what's shown on edited broadcasts or 30 pages of transcript for homework.

you raise your chin from the back of the spacious room. the two men at the podium exchange expressions. at first you don't understand their worrisome looks, until a screeching vibration echoes in the hall, as if an object is being dragged along something sharp. you squeeze your eyes open to the third person in the middle.

"you wanna hear my opinion?" your gaze dances across the room, trying to search for a reaction in the several women and men around you. have they just heard the exact same thing as you or are you caught in the sketch of some sadistic comedian?

"yes sir, your opinion."

the silence doesn't drag on for long, "of what?"

"sir, one of your worker-"

"i'm aware of that."

"after he collapsed-"

"yeah?"

"what exactly are you-"

"what are you aiming at?" a quasy feeling settles in your stomach.

"sir, what measures are you going to take?" the man finally snaps with rushed words, as anyone else would naturally do so.

"doin' as always." his face is cold, his movements solid.

"next question please," the spokesperson on the left side states.

you mouth goes dry. you recall why you've been hesitant when you got the call from your fever-plagued office partner, nobara kugisaki.

a few journalists and news outlets survey general questions relating to the company itself which makes your legs bounce with thin patience. can't they postpone these for another public gathering? at this state you weren't even sure if everyone would get a turn.

"in the last five years ryomen sukuna has held back from providing the public with clarifications on the many rumors he has been involved in… mr ryomen, would you be so kind and enlighten us?" a tall, white-haired woman sits down. some part of your brain tells you that she is grinning, although her voice has been stagnant despite some alarmed countenances on the stage.

the addressed man leans back - not without a chuckle though.

the next participant takes the mic. you are confused.

you reread your notes. is it worth asking when this conference has either denied or made fun of the press inquiries this far? you aren't one to defend gossip magazines who survive off his or anyone's questionable past, but this was too out-of-place for your own liking. simply put: it is disrespectful.

"good stories osaka, mr ryomen, please tell us about your alco-"

"we don't entertain this type of output from here on. please focus on recent activities or refrain from speaking."

you follow the white bow. "good morning, kyoto today here. sir, have you already been in contact with the victim's family? and how will you compensate your workers in the future? thank you for your cooperation." your ears perk up and you immediately cross out one scribbled line.

"that man is out of the hospital. i don't see a need to compensate anyone."

gasps and whispers spread throughout the tense air. right now, you can observe the only positive: the reporter's stance - how she confidently protrudes among the hushed outbreak, her grip on the microphone unwavering.

"so i'll take you don't intend on raising the standard of your worker's conditions anytime soon?"

"never planned to."

honestly, you aren't sure what to do when the room errupts with audible complaints and writers violently pressing down on their keyboards. "is this legal?" a reporter with a green notepad wants to know. others demand their camera men to "get everything on camera! no, zoom in!" and give them a slap on the back to get closer.

"please keep it quiet for the last contendors - if not, we are obligated to cancel this session."

your heart picks up at an uncomfortable frequency. you take deep breaths.

"from the daily press - mr ryomen, how will you deal with the recent protest in front of this very building?"

the men around him have long ago loosened their ties, sitting back in their chairs, handkerchiefs pressed against their red temples. by reading them you understand their missing courage to talk some sense into the CEO. even if, is this man capable of seeing his own faults?

"i'd like to see how long they'll drag this out - prolly not long."

the lady's arm points upward, "but sir! you are aware the people outside are your employees, right?!" it wasn't the first time during this knot garden that an interviewer has sounded like they are on the edge of insanity.

"so? there are enough volunteers who will take their places."

the woman near you sinks down without another word. your wrinkly page has ended up as a muddy ball of paper. you could theoratically get up and leave at any given time but with the cramped up space around you, you'd have to sit through this until the end.

thanks to your inner monologue you almost miss the black object pocking into your panorama.

now or never.

when you take the mic into your hand, you wince at the short self-noise. "kanagawa news… sir, i'll be brief: what's your purpose at yūjiocha?"

you can't unsee the way his knuckles push against the side of his cheek with the most uninterested glare - pierced brow not moving an ounce while you are mentally fluctuating for his answer.

"you tell me what my purpose is. you journalists love to pretend to know everything. isn't that so…"

you raise your brows. his derisive layer of throwing you and other hard-working writers into the same pot with gossipers leaves a bitter taste on your tongue.

"sir, i didn't assume anything. my question is: what's your personal ambition - you don't give the impression of having a goal as the chairman of your own company." you're at loss for words by none other than your own self. from the edges of your vista you find heads sticking together. the camera directed at you doesn't go unnoticed either.

that was the harmless part - not when his eyelids drop at your comment. in a flash, you question your own professionality. are you wrong?

"oh, so now you're telling me what to do?"

you huff. "that is not my intention, sir. i'm wondering why this - when you're acting reckless with the company of your-"

"a nobody from the gutter press is seriously teaching me about my business? tch."

"next one," the spokesperson moves on.

you remember the prominent throb in your throat, blurring out the last back-and-forths until everyone, one by one, started to exit the hall. his team is the first one to do so and you fear that this belittling memory will never fully dissolve.

the next day doesn't reward you for your rookie service either. the brown-haired woman walks up and down, prior to sitting down and repeating the same pattern anew.

"…means i can't use it?"

nobara, your senior of two years with more experience in the world of critical writing supports her head with her right palm. "hold on," the corner of her mouth twists in annoyance as she analyzes the screen of her pink tablet.

"these sons of bitches have not only imposed a copyright restriction because of a goddamn power point presentation but also threaten us with cutting our money!?" it was only a question of time when she would go berserk. you weren't going to risk calming her down when she had all the right in the world - unfortunately copyrights excluded - to complain about the supergiant's legal terms.

as you found out - just hours ago after terrible five hours of sleep - the press is not allowed to share the conference recording on any platform. on top of that, the financial pressure of withdrawing advertising money is pushed down your throats in case companies release a - as quoted - smear campaign against their precious CEO.

"i don't get it… why attempt hiding it? the media already knows," you chew on your lip at the thought of having to let your very first citation go to waste. you weren't going to allow your own sweat and (almost) tears go down the drain. not when they are the ones in the wrong on so many levels.

"i'll tell you why… these pigs can't risk more damage! knuckles-deep in the mud and they still have the audacity to stop journalism! over my dead body!" the aroma of berries floats your nostrils when she raises her steamy mug.

"what's the plan?"

"(name). see this as your first main quest from your kugisaki girl herself, 'kay? WE'RE GOING TO FINISH THIS NO MATTER WHAT! EVEN IF THEY WERE TO FLOAT THIS OFFICE! those recordings aren't going anywhere!" her arm cramps up when the coughing fit returns.

you immediately begin your text, fueled with fire from her motivational speech. as your job requires, you are here in the first place because you've promised to reveal the shady side of the business world. you wouldn't want to let your partner in crime down - not when you were entrusted with this important task.

"thank you, nobara-san."

"that's the spirit, rookie. let's end those wretched capitalists! they better be grateful that i had a fever… i would've jumped them all!"

the yellowish light of your overly bright display blinds you in the shades. the blue logo of the daily press dissapears. your thumb enters the key words and urgently scrolls down the black on white.

user8653346

another nepo baby who gets away with THEIR usual egotistic IDIOCITY. we live in a rich man's world everyone!

anonymous

I'm dissapointed with the amount televison and CO publicize. Why do they downplay the traumatizing event of a victim and make traces of the protest dissapear.... inhumane. Thank you and anyone else who has covered this evil crime for us.

z.9999

Why act surprised? He has a bunch of illegal acts held against him yet he gets away!!? I'm more concerned for the people who've lost their jobs!

anonymous

threathening journalists shocks me the least... what has daddy’s company become? ヾ(´∀｀)

a notification from nobara pops up, showing screenshots of hilarious responses under other tokyo-based publications over the last days. it's quite a relief they haven't held back either.

but the happiness wouldn't last long of course.

"utahime-senpai just emailed me. (name), you can't imagine how enraged i am. meet me at the office." the green and red symbols dissapear along her name.

your heart pounds as you run down the busy streets. no time to take a bite or look in the mirror. at the crosswalk, you weigh if you should get a quick meal and later hop into a taxi or train.

the neon green window display of the convenience store finds you at the right time. after paying for food and a bottle of water you're about to run to the next station, however, the magazine stand catches your attention instead. you should sprint to your office as soon as possible yet you're curious about one thing.

you turn the pages and eventually find your own article. you quiver at the touch of the physical copy. it hasn't vanished. you let out a relieved groan and with the satisfied exploration, you flee through the automatic doors.

"i would like to have a word with the manager regarding the supply of non-updated newspaper in here."

"nobara…"

the said woman is leaning her arms against the top of her cluttered desk. without any remark you place your bag down.

her lids are shut.

minutes pass.

"these fuckers have taken down utahime-senpai's entry," striking back this early? "legal protection for copyright violation! copyright violation?! - they can't be serious!" her skin slams against the wood, twice. she lets out another yell, "gahhh!"

"she hasn't inserted the entire video material on her website," you can't find a reason why on god's green earth there should be any dilemma with her senior's article. it's not like writers aren't familiar with the rules in connection to giving credits, likewise with how and when to use correct quotations and other sources.

"ah you see, three minutes out of 2 hours crisis communication is too long! hah! how dare we forget about proprietary visuals! that half-assed presentation and ugly logo are allegedly commercialization!" she clears her throat in a dramatic manner, "now they limit distributions unless certain parts are changed. exploitation of underlying speech my ass!"

you curse under your breath. "what about us? have we exploited proprietary materials?" you cringe at the terms.

she shares the same sentiment, although now more wearisome. "that's why i've invited you over. just got a message from the pitiful sons themselves," she rolls the computer mouse with her index. "i'm not surprised anymore," she lets out. "we consider filing for legal action regarding the article written and published by your media press journalist (fn) (name) in case it is not taken offline within the next 12 hours,"

you bump into her side and continue to read out loud, "the content of the article titled »fair payment for hard labour: executive ryomen sukuna's biggest income or greatest weakness?« on the 28th of this month includes reputation-damaging conspiracy on behalf of CEO ryomen sukuna's private and professional credibility. our chief executive officer has suffered great harm to his public image in recent days through burgeoning cyber harassment and thus financial destabilization.

the usage of »[…] he's shamelessly open about his lacking empathy for his own work force.«, »[...] getting his position handed (and maintained) on a silver platter […]« and the last paragraph in your text, »what does mr ryomen intend to achieve? one can only look at the priviliged offspring with the empathy he seems to miss whenever he makes an appearance on national TV […]« are missleading accusations without official proof. throughout his career as an executive chief, ryomen sukuna has worked hard for his responsibilities no matter what grand force he is facing.

we must also remind you that mr ryomen has fairly earned his position as the heir of the late wasuke itadori. his accomplishments as a widely-accepted humanitarian representative can be reached via the links provided below. we request you take your article offline or we are duty-bound to take legal proceedings against your company »kanagawa news« and journalist (fn). we are looking forward to a quick response."

you are torn between laughing and touching grass outside. "isn't that funny?" the brunette turns to you but you shake your head in disbelief. "this must be a sick joke."

"not gonna lie, i was a click away from sharing this on my socials. should've send it to every single media channel in this damn prefecture. hah… what a circus… humanitarian? pff…"

your fingers poke at your forehead. you never had to deal with this before, not when you had already covered big names once or twice without any backlash on how angelic their respective nepo babies are. a brat disguised as a grown man… making his minions do the dirty job while he is getting payed millions for exploiting farmers and factory workers.

you can't believe it.

the difficultty of trying to swallow is suffocating. besides just giving up and doing as they preach, this is surrendering - falling down on your knees to get spared by his hierarchic superiority. is this how the rest gets treated behind the scenes? - getting their own principals deranged by some power-hungry maniacs? oh, you have truly underestimated them.

another pause befalls the small office. you see colleagues from the other department pass by the huge pane. the broken light bulb above is twitching. you huff in exhaustion. nobara should tell you what to do since any decisison today will be regretted in one way or another.

"we can't give those bastards the satisfaction," she finally breaks the silence, "let's make them shake longer and solve this pile of shit in the evening, i'm too tired for this freak show. also… we can't delete your oscar-worthy exposure just yet, can we?"

purples and oranges bleed between the mild blue patches. when you step out, the town is dipped in a desaturated shade. at least the sun isn't fully up so you can escape the heat in the confinement of your four walls.

with every step you fall deeper into a spiral: a dark abyss of humiliation and utter disgust in the face of your new reality. what wong-doing outside of wanting to serve justice have you commited? you want to scream to your heart's content but even that is prohibited to you.

damned be that disgusting man.

what makes his horrible soul deserving of power when he's shamelessly spitting at workers? just because he doesn't consider them worth his while?

your skin burns with anger whenever you revisit his responses. a nobody. you shouldn't let it get to you but experiencing it first hand leaves you with wishing him the absolute worst. your article could only express one-sixth of your honest opinion on a self-centered bitch like him. you can't wrap your head around the fact that he still stands proud as the official CEO. no consequences for him.

"ahh!"

the numbness is abruptly replaced by a mild ache in your nose.

"oh i'm sorry!" you are still busy holding your face when you catch a glimpse of your opposite. the novelty of the stranger's face feels weirdly soothing the exact moment you meet his blue orbs.

"my bad! hey, are you hurt?" his limbs spread out with a respectful distance, his concern tangible.

"it's okay!" you wave your hand, "should've looked where i go and not space out, hih," you try to lighten the situation with a chuckle. it does its wonder as he drops his long arms to his sides.

"you're from here?" you are taken back by the asudden quizzing. "uh, yes," you manage to respond back after just starting to slip by him. you are not in the mood to start a conversation with a male stranger so you stride with the same heaviness again.

"(fn) (name). i quite enjoyed reading your article. what was it again? - big executive who doesn't pay his employees?"

you throw a glance over your shoulder. should you be on high alert in his presence? who is this white-haired man and how does he know it's you? you don't have any official pictures- oh. the press conference. don't tell me he's one of his men? as expected, a pinch of fear gets in your way, yet you can't let that stop you.

"yeah, that's me. want to enlighten me to whom i owe the pleasure of speaking?" your arms stick to your body like magnets. as much as you want to appear strong, on the inside you try your best to not freak out.

white teeth manifest as he lets out a playful laugh at your irony. "huh, if you insist this early - gojo satoru," he does a slight bow which you accept with rolling eyes. what a player. "hope your majesty is in a joyful mood," he goes on. shouldn't you feel threatened like you've preached seconds ago?

"oh, don't escape me!" he launches forward and you pick up your pace. "what?!"

"but you didn't let me finish!" he puffs his cheeks out and you don't know how to reply to that. is he being serious? are you trapped in a money laundering scheme from nearby, perhaps?

"nuh uh, i don't need your money! on the contrary, give me a minute to introduce myself!" you try your best to stand your ground despite his childish antics. "you have to trust me for that though…" his index beckons you, "would you do a favour for me? - with recompensation, of course," he grins.

commissions, support: ko-fi 🍥