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bitty-bits · 11 months ago

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The First and the Last of the Year

And possibly last ever... on Tumblr at least.

Where did I go?

Nowhere in particular... if you've seen my socials all year, that is. This blog/newsletter however, took an extended vacation, not just from a lack of interest (and personal real life stuff getting in the way) but also from a technical standpoint - I really wanted the email newsletter aspect of this to work, but I still couldn't. I was considering using TinyLetter ...until they announced that was shutting down. If I had a nickel for every time a newsletter service shut down out of nowhere I'd have two... you know the rest. And with Tumblr getting worse as the year went by, maintaining this wasn't exactly motivating enough.

That said, it was a less than ideal year for my productivity, inconsistent pace, money issues, the lowest amount of notable dreams to write down on my dream journal to date... you get the idea.

So I can only hope for things to be better. For me to be less lazy... and work not only on stuff I make, but on myself. And I do have a bit of optimism, since a lot has, so let's see a couple of stuff, although everything else you should expect to see in a "rebooted" version of this blog...

Also, Free Palestine!

What I've Been Playing / Watching

So while I haven't fully completed a LOT of things this year, this will be going back to the beginning of the year, essentially, so strap yourselves. (Some of it I'll be grabbing from my media thread that I've made on Twitter as well)

Lucky Star (Finished)

I have posted about Lucky Star in another issue, but I was still in the middle of watching it. Now that I've actually finished watching it (in February) I can say more about it: When it comes to this anime, it was either pretty ahead of its time, or we just have Regressed as a species since then. Maybe the latter.

And sorry folkz, Lucky Star is pro-ship/pro-fic culture and there’s nothing you can do about it. I watched the entire series including the OVA, and while I’m definitely still not sure I’m exactly the "target demographic" what I saw was still very enjoyable. it really just is whatever the fuck and I'm all for it.

At first my kin™ was Konata pretty quickly because of course. That was until Minami showed up and like, she’s basically the weeb version of Ongo Jelly Jamm™!!! I actually can say I got attached to and care about most of the characters, even if just a little.

Like I said in a previous issue, in 2015 I had watched part of an episode of it english dubbed and it didn’t click with me at all. Turns out the dub just sucks as I should’ve expected lol (And I really wasn’t used to segmented "several short stories in one" type anime and stuff to be fair - that and I was dumber too of course so I couldnt properly appreciate the ART........)

My rating is Timotei/10 - and Nichijou is next!

Pizza Tower

Easily the biggest loss for gaming this year was this game not winning "Best Debut Indie" at the Game Awards. Oh well.

I was already highly anticipating this game - having first heard of it when it had a demo at SAGE 2019 I’m glad the game turned out great and is getting the recognition it deserves. I pretty much finished the game in early March. P/10

The Owl House (Finished)

Well... it’s over... for better or worse. I do think they managed to deliver a satisfactory ending all things considered. This was definitely a great cartoon to kick off the new decade.

And of course, fuck Disney as always.

This show got me to break out of, I guess an habit, you could say, or a superstition, or whatever the hell it is, when it came to media with too much ""occultism"" in them. You know the drill. I guess it opened up the little my mind had left that was still a bit closed. Even if it’s mostly involuntary.

But this isn’t even new. As a child I’d actually have an "imaginary friend" that i made (that kinda just Existed, didn’t really "interact" much with them whatsoever cuz i was Dumb™) that their backstory was literally that they were a demon in hell "gone rogue" so they were "not an evil one". Again, I was a kid. I never thought too much about the implications of me thinking about stuff like that already at that age. But it is interesting to think about now.

Anyways, been gay, did witchcraft. ⛥/5

Invader ZIM (Series + Enter The Florpus)

Well I did it. I finally watched the funny hot topic show™ (Finished in late May)

What can I even say about it that hasn’t been already said by everyone else? ...well maybe I have one thing: for some reason I didn’t find That One Episode that people always bring up the MOST disturbing one. I thought the one with a literal character flatlining and Zim being ":)" about it got to me a bit more.

Anyways yeah it’s Cool I liked the characters especially Gaz, and GIR obviously Why Wouldn’t He Be Here. The show can be stupid and end episodes in Whatever The Fuck ways that leave you like "That's it? That's the episode???" but I think that’s one of the unique aspects of it that I Enjoy - also the movie is cool. ☮️>🐔+🍚/10

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

So I watched it first when we only had shitty cinema bootleg recordings (that aren’t even that shitty anymore at this point in terms of quality, the Shit comes in the form of godawful intrusive illegal casino ads™ placed.) even though a bit later the raw movie would sometimes be uploaded in full to YouTube with no consequence for days. And at this point I’ve rewatched it plenty of times in proper HD (though only once in English cuz I’ll be honest, the Brazilian dub really is phenomenal really and blows the original "star talent cast" out of the water in my opinion, where it falls short is the voice for Luigi, as I know the dude’s voice too well and he’s just doing his normal voice with an accent, not to mention he’s the brazilian Sonic voice already!!!)

I think Charlie Day is the superior Loogy here but I’d still say the dub is better, not only for the fact there are "real voice actors" cuz you know, that’s Their Job, but also like, Charles Martinet is still in there cuz in case you didn't know, he voiced that jumpman dude’s only line in pretty much every language possible which is absurd/admirable.

It’s a fun movie if not mostly for looking at Mario Things happening that you know and recognize, because otherwise the story is pretty ridiculously basic, though even for "Mario game story" standards it’s definitely refreshing to see Luigi as the one to be rescued... though that Also sucks because Luigi deserved more screentime. The main Toad too. Oh well. Also disappointed that the "wise Toad" in the movie isn’t Toadsworth… or maybe he is but hasn’t aged yet and maybe in a sequel we’ll see him get older and then main Toad becomes Captain Toad. Who knows 🍄/10

Honorable Mentions - Stuff I've Watched That I've Yet To Write My Thoughts About, I Don't Have The Time Now

Spy × Family (Season 1) - Not the type of anime I'd see myself watching, but I was forced roped into it by one of my partners and found it to be VERY enjoyable.

Sparkle On, Raven: The Life of Drillgirl - Charming, shitpost-y, but genuine and fun

The Amazing Digital Circus - A very promising series with unexpected popularity, and equally unexpected high quality Brazilian dub with recognizable talent.

Murder Drones (Season 1 - 6/8) - A series I've been cautiously optimistic about since its pilot - it has endearing, enjoyable characters and settings, but flawed writing and pacing - more on that at a future date.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - An amazing take on a series that I'm not so familiar with (haven't seen the movie or read the comics, only really knew that the franchise "exists") and judging from what I've heard from others, it probably is the best take on the main storyline. Especially when it comes to the representation of who turned out to be my fave - Roxie. Watching the live action now is... probably gonna be very weird. Not sure if I want to.

Kunshikter (Күншіктер) - A new, yet very obscure cartoon from Kazakhstan. It's cute. It's for children but at this point I don't think y'all care. It's still ongoing and there are not many episodes so far. I recommend giving it a watch. Now!

Future YouTube Updates

As some of you saw in a xeet tweet from early October I was planning to do something significant on my main YouTube channel which has been stagnant for a while now, only for that to, surprise, not happen. I do have a set goal now: In very early January, a video to explain exactly what happened and what was the video I wanted to make, and... why it's hard for me to get a video like that out in the first place. The short answer (that doesn't actually account for Everything) is autism. The long answer is... stay tuned for it, lol

Song of the Issue

youtube

Although this section was supposed to be for sharing music that isn't mine, I thought I'd share snippets of music stuff I've been making since the beginning of 2023 until now, that you can look forward to!

Conclusion

I dunno. All I can say is... happy new year! It's been a tradition to make a stupid amateurish collage at the end of the year with the highlights, but this year there's been... less of them, that I took note of at least. But that won't stop me I think. Once I have that done, I may edit this to include it.

No comment on anything related to Twitter (which I'll never call "X") and the billionaire that happened this year as you all probably already know by now, and by the way you can now follow me on the social butterfly of bluesky. See you next year!

#newsletter #personal #Youtube

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shaniacsboogara · 2 years ago

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confession time:

i haven't really been keeping up to date on the latest season of puppet history but what i DID do is get together with my best friend (a fellow watcher enjoyer, the ryan to my shane) and watch the final puppet history episode with absolutely zero context. what's even better is that she hasn't seen a single episode of puppet history ever. safe to say it was a phenomenal experience, as we were constantly on the edge of our seats waiting for shit to go down as we simultaneously pointed and giggled at the little dinosaurs and said "they're just like us". it felt like the ultimate game of russian roulette because all we could do was sit and wonder "what will shane madej do this time?" with absolutely zero idea what happened in the previous four or five episodes. when the professor and his adorable dino parents started to get all deep and existential we just sort of looked at each other confused as to why we were almost being brought to tears by this silly little puppet show we were watching in order to see ryan bergara fist fight a blue cotton ball. i was sort of in awe of how the episode took such a profound emotional stance on the meaning of life and how much people mean to you AND THEN IT CUT TO RYAN AND THE HOLOGRAM PROFESSOR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER AND THE JUXTAPOSITION OF THOSE TWO SCENES ALONE SHOULD WIN THIS SERIES AN AWARD! let it be known we cheered immensely as we watched beef boy call the feral glitchy furball a "little blue ballsack" AND REPEATEDLY PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE (which OBVIOUSLY made us lose our shit). all that aside though, i think the best moment of this episode was the fact that shane madej decided to write a JINGLE for THE HOLO-PROFESSOR BEING THROWN OUT THE WINDOW. IT WAS PEAK CINEMA.

anyways the episode was so good and shane, ryan, and all the other folks over at watcher always slay

#OUT THE WINDOWWWW #ryan begara #shane madej #shane and ryan #all hail the watcher #rip the professor #professor mcnasty #puppet history #puppet history season 5 #puppet history finale #puppet history spoilers

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watching-pictures-move · 2 years ago

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Movie Review | Star of David: Beautiful Girl Hunter (Suzuki, 1979)

There's a scene here that pretty much every review of this rightfully brings up, that gets across pretty succinctly why this movie comes with a great big "Watch at your own risk" warning. The protagonist, after learning about the Nazis in school, goes home and masturbates to images from the Holocaust. And lest you think this might be implied because these movies can't show genitals and whatnot, there is no doubt about what is happening here, especially when certain bodily fluids splash onto a photograph. On one hand, this is all kinds of offensive and were you to swear off watching this movie forever based on this image, you'd probably be justified in doing so. On the other hand, I'm always looking for movies to give me images that I haven't seen before, and this is certainly an images I haven't seen before. Like I said, watch at your own risk.

What I do think needs to be noted is that the scene doesn't exist in a vacuum, but is a manifestation of the protagonist's and movie's rage at the whitewashing of Japan's history, the way perpetrators of war crimes have been able to reintegrate into society after the end of the war. But the protagonist's rage is not based on any moral standing, but a certain jealousy that they were able to get away with it. Imagine every meathead you know who viewed movies like Wall Street as aspirational, but instead of Gordon Gekko they're looking up to, it's Hitler. Like the other pinkus I've been watching recently, there's a theme here of transference of abuse and trauma. The main character is borne of a rape of his mother by a criminal, which causes her husband to torture her to death out of her perceived enjoyment of this degradation. Having grown up, he channels this childhood trauma into carrying on in the footsteps of both father figures, by kidnapping and torturing women, usually of perceived public influence, like a pop singer ("The more famous we become, the more we’re forget our real names") and a schoolgirl who gave an award-winning speech in favour of peace ("The history of human beings is the history of wars"). The only levity here comes from the Game of Death fake beard disguise sported by the main character.

Like the scene mentioned at the beginning of this review, the movie's expression of this rage is unrelentingly queasy. Because this is a pinku, the protagonist's torture of his victims is captured with extreme fetishistic detail. But lest you start to think it's okay to get off on this and that the victims might be enjoying this, the movie finds a particularly pungent image or act of cruelty to snap us back into ugliness. (An early example has the main character covered with the arterial spray of a victim as he thrusts into her.) It's genre critique through self-immolation. The sheer repellence of the material seems jarring given the lushness of the visuals and the tinkly piano music, but images like the juxtaposition of suspended victims alongside a picture of Christ or the cross of candles somehow intensifies the proceedings. This movie's themes have been explored in some of the other pinkus I've watched of late, but here they're delivered with a particular forcefulness.

This is directed by Norifumi Suzuki, best known for the nunsploitation pinku School of the Holy Beast, considered a classic in the genre. I remember struggling with that one as I found it too perverted to work as religious satire and too serious-minded to be enjoyably perverted. Given how well this worked for me and that its effectiveness seems directly tied to its sleaziness, I'd like to revisit that one and see if I gel to it more this time around. (I should say I enjoyed some of the more action-oriented entries in his oeuvre, like Roaring Fire, Girl Boss Guerilla, and Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom, the last of which has a respectable amount of sleaze.)

Very good. Very grimy. Like I said, watch at your own risk.

#film #star of david: beautiful girl hunter #movie review #norifumi suzuki

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smokeybrandreviews · 1 year ago

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Upward and Onward

I finally sat down and watched Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. I took in that entire two and a half hour run time, in one sitting. Now, i like the Indy films. I can't say they're my favorites but they are more than enjoyable. Crusade is, obviously, the best of the bunch, but i have a soft spot for Skull. What i don't have a soft spot for, is the goddamn vitriol Dial has gotten. It's weird to say but thus film didn't suck near as bad as everyone made it out to be. Now, take that with a grain of salt because, and i have to be honest here, Indiana Jones films are not top tier cinema. They are nostalgic love letters to the serial George and Steven watched as children. That's it. They were never supposed to be high brow cinema. Indiana Jones is never going to win any Oscars. It's weird as f*ck to me that, because Fleabag is in this one, every one lost their collective sh*t about it. Dial is a perfectly serviceable Indiana Jones film that is, arguably, the third best of the five. Dial is definitely better than Skull and i think more entertaining than Temple. It hits all the beats an Indy film should and Mangold directed his ass off to get that cohesion. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny does not suck. It is good. It is a decent Indiana Jones film. There is nothing wrong with this perfectly serviceable entry into the franchise. Watching this movie, and having a pretty solid time with it, really put into perspective all of the noise fandom has been making lately.

I got a hint of this, too, while Ahsoka was airing. Sure, those first few episodes dragged a little more than they should have but, once it started picking up steam, it really went places. I've written essay after essay about episode five and the ramifications it had in terms of the mythos. As a fan of Star Wars, you couldn't help but love that action and yet, so much discourse. So much whining. So much forced vitriol. Ahsoka was good. It was fun. it was the closest thing to Star Wars we've gotten since the first season of Mando. Why all the f*cking hate? Because Kathleen Kennedy has poisoned the well. I can't stand what that dizzy, egotistical, arrogant, fraud has done to my darling Skywalkers either but her reign is at an end. Dave Filoni is now in charge of all things creative at Lucasfilm, as he should have bee in the very beginning. That needs hit me like a ton of bricks I rejoiced because we were about to get a ton of good content, in terms of narrative, going forward. Was the Fandom Menace happy? Of course not. Bro, when we all realized Kennedy was f*cking sh*t up on purpose, Filoni was who we wanted in charge. It was the only option, outside of Lucas, which made sense. Now that he is, y'all still have a problem? Really? See, now, this sh*t just sounds like a grift rather than a proper rebellion.

In all honesty, Lucas film has mad nothing one would consider great cinema. Star Wars, Willow, and Indiana Jones aren't winning awards outside of technical or costuming. You're not getting Academy Award winning performances out of a galaxy far, far, away. Being upset because there's politics in a franchise called Star Wars or that Fleabag is riding shotgun with Indiana Jones, is f*cking dumb. Being upset because there is mad disrespect to the content which came before, or that the quality of writing has fallen considerably, or that character development went out the window in favor of hamfisted virtue signaling, are things one should get the pitchforks out for. A disillusioned Luke is an interesting take on the character. Not exploring why he was disillusioned in favor of assassinating his character to "develop" Rei, was the critical misstep in that film. From what i heard about Dial's production, something similar was to happen to Indy but Iger nipped that sh*t in the bud. Obviously, sabotage the last of Kennedy's projects on principal but sitting here pretending that Dial was the worst Indiana Jones film when Crystal Skull exists, or that Ahsoka was the best thing out of Disney Star Wares since Rogue One, or that Filoni taking over the reins of Creative at Lucasfilm isn't exactly what everyone wanted, is both damaging to the cause and disingenuous to out intent.

The problem was never the woke. Marvel was chock full of that sh*t from the very beginning. It was the gender and race bending that ruined our beloved franchises. It was poor writing and Corpo greed. it was Marvel and Star Wars expected to prop up Disney plus. It was Kathleen Kennedy upset she never got undue credit for her contributions to Star Wars. No one cares that Rei is the lead of the sequels. We were upset because none of that sh*t was earned. She was a poorly written character who was increasingly unlikable as her set of films progressed. Lightyear and Strange Worlds failed, not because they were gay, but because they were a boring watch. You can write Woke sh*t and have it be recognized as brilliant. Look at everything Jordan Peele has made. Black Panther. You can have strong female leads with no problem. Promising Young Female comes to mind. Everything Everywhere All at Once. You can even do the Rei thing correctly, which Filoni already did, with Ahsoka. Go back and watch those early appearance in Clone Wars then juxtapose them against that last season. Tell me Ahsoka Tano isn't one of, if not the most developed character in all of canon Star Wars. All of this started with strong writing and purposeful character development, sh*t Corpo Disney and Kathleen Kennedy couldn't be bothered with even attempting. The MCU used to have that, too, but because they were supposed to drop forty TV shows and six movies a year just to prop up Pixar and Lucasfilm's failings, sh*t took a tun with quality anything over there.

It's wild to me that we, as fans, finally get exactly what we want. Kennedy is banished off to the Shadow Zone. Filoni is in charge of Lucasfilm Creative. Iger has decreed that the MCU is to pull back on TV shows and focus on two or three films a year, with the option for small screen adaption a few years down the line. Budgets are being reined in all over the company and people are being held accountable. These are all things we've wanted since the Mouse House punched out with Endgame. The tide has turned in Hollywood, overall, and sh*t is looking like there will be a return emphasis on creating dope sh*t rather than pandering to shareholders, yet, i still hear cats denigrating our favorite franchises because "muh culture war". Bro, when fans get everything they want, when Corpo Hollywood has to acquiesce to Creative Hollywood, When every issue we had is addressed, cats should, at the very least, take a wait-and-see posture going forward. I am. Ahsoka was a step in the right direction. The talk of Doom taking over as the big bad of Phase Five is the right direction. Kathleen Kennedy and her ridiculous cancer being completely cut out of Lucasfilm is the right direction. Loki si arguably the best thing the MCU has made since Infinity War. A focus on writing quality scripts and turning a eye toward detail rather than stock price, is the right direction. We are trending upward. It's a goddamn shame a very vocal minority keeps trying to shout that progress down.

#Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny #Indiana Jones #Star Wars #MCU #Disney #Some ol' bullsh*t

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smokeybrand · 1 year ago

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Upward and Onward

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 3 years ago

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rewatched ofmd 1.09 and 1.10, and here are some random thoughts!

MAN, 1.10 is such a great episode of television. so funny, so poignant, so upsetting, and the way it allows us to hang out in mary’s point of view for awhile is so refreshing and enjoyable. it’s SUCH a great close to the season. i wish it could win awards. it SHOULD win awards!

i am obsessed with the widow evelyn and that post that said she and spanish jackie should meet will haunt me forever now. i’m not saying i WANT mary and her widow squad to turn to a life of piracy, but if for crazy plot reasons they wound up temporarily drawn into pirate adventures, i would be so, so happy. i also feel like mary is just too great a character to not see again.

it’s so striking how mary plays the same role in stede’s life that izzy does in ed’s in this ep, to completely opposite effects. (a spouse and a first mate aren’t so different, in a way!) i think the reason stede is able to forgive himself and move forward is because mary has the grace to be happy for him, embrace him as he is, and sincerely wish him growth and good things even after he’s hurt and bitterly disappointed her in the past by not being able to be the man she needed him to be (a proper, loyal husband). meanwhile, we have that scene with izzy and ed where izzy basically has the same grievances with ed -- he was promised one thing (blackbeard!), he devoted his life to one thing (and in a subordinate position, similar to a wife in a marriage of centuries past), and when ed couldn’t hold up his end of the bargain because ed wants to be ed, he got beyond pissed because the whole foundation of his life is therefore shattered. stede had support from the person who knew him best as his old self and ed didn’t and that made all the difference. mary said, “you don’t have to try to be this anymore since it’s not working” and izzy said, “if you’re not what you were, it would be better if you were dead.” (which is extra disturbing for a character who we see with some degree of suicidal ideation when we first meet him.)

i just can’t unsee izzy as an echo of ed’s abusive father, which is why i think his words cut so deep. he is SUCH a vile and disturbing character, aaaaaaaaah. great job making me hate you, con o’neill!

i was also struck by the visual parallel of ed putting the kohl on his face to become ~the kraken~ with stede smearing the pig’s blood all over his face while faking his death, and how those moments mark them going in completely opposite directions (ack, my heart!): stede’s doing it to be able to kill off his old self who he never felt right being, where ed is totally regressing and trying to completely cover up his new self with his old one.

i continue to feel like ed’s descent into mad-bad-dangerous-to-know-ness is less about stede ghosting him alone, and more about how badly he yearns to be his true self and how completely unacceptable he feels it is when stede isn’t there to give him the confidence, now that izzy has planted the idea that his real self is something completely shameful.

god DAMN the writing on this show is so smart and layered and psychological and interesting. it feels so good to watch!! my brain is happy! and my heart is suffering. come onnnn, hbo max!

#dollsome's deep thoughts #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers

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lesbianrobin · 4 years ago

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hello em i have a request. can u please rate mr harrington's looks/outfits i just feel like u have the best takes and i'd LOVE to know how you'd rank his choices 👀

this is the single greatest ask i’ve ever received. i will be ranking the outfits, not steve’s moral alignment or actions in each scene. in order of appearance:

The Introduction

4/10

hair is tragic

steve copied this entire fit from a mannequin in the ralph lauren polo outlet store

would honestly be a 0/10 except for the obvious valiant effort being put forth by his lower half to resist the sexless curse of khaki pants. the devil (st costuming department) works hard but by god steve harrington (joe keery’s body) works harder

nice brown watch that certainly came from a department store

also gains points for being next to nancy’s anemic librarian fit, thus looking better by comparison

The Rich Bitch

8/10

thank god he ditched the khakis

hair looks much less demonic

it’s a simple look but the sweatshirt rides up when he shotguns the beer

he also gets wet

solid 8 for sluttiness alone

The Whore

10/10

wet

please note that his chest is waxed. keep this in mind.

The Heterosexual

2/10

hair looks like he dipped his head in glue

bold choice with the grey pants. unfortunately that choice was wrong

matching outfits with your comphet girlfriend isn’t as cute as you think it is stevie

you only get points because despite that ungodly pastel stripe pattern the polo’s decently fitted and makes your arm look kinda nice

The Dickhead

3/10

glue head pt. 2

at least the stripes aren’t pastel this time

The Cuck

6/10

hair slightly less glue-y

yet another striped polo is peeking out unfortunately

but! it’s green and green looks good on him

finally wearing jeans like a normal fucking human instead of weird slacks

pivotal moment in steve’s fashion evolution from preppy male model to sexy morally upright king

his morals are stored in the denim

The Final Girl

9/10

an outfit with a character arc to rival steve’s own

pretty fucking good hair if i do say so myself!!

it’s fluffy!

that shit looks like if you touched it it’d be soft... no glue here!

finally not copying from the goddamn l.l. bean catalog

iconic green slut sweatshirt? check! jacket and nikes? check! fucked-up gorgeous face and baseball bat full of rusty nails? check, baby!

looks good on its own OR with some blood on top

overall a very solid look

The Darling Little Drummer Boy

7/10

babe no... please don’t go back to the khakis... they won’t treat you like jeans do...

not quite glue head but not his best

apparently steve owns a single green sweatshirt, a thousand striped polos, and one very precious christmas sweater

almost makes up for prep-related khaki crimes by being really fucking cute

The Simp

8/10

glue head is DEAD

further evidence that steve harrington’s entire closet is just striped polos

this is his fifth unique striped polo

most of these points are for the sunglasses and the hair

actually all of these points are for the sunglasses and the hair

he’s finally let go of the fucking pastels thank jesus

and you can’t see it but he did wear jeans with this fit i just forgot to make sure they were pictured and it’s 4:15 am so i don’t feel like going back to remake this collage

cannot tell if this is a lighter blue version of the jacket he wore three times in s1 or if it IS the jacket he wore three times in s1 and the color grading is just that different

either way he loves jackets and i think that’s very sexy of him

The Intellectual

9/10

i’ve been waiting for this one... turn it up!

literally invented vests

excellent hair

loses a point for unfortunately introducing steve’s SIXTH unique striped fucking polo

i can’t see the collar but i know it’s there i know you’re wearing another fucking polo steve you can’t hide from me

can’t decide if he looks gay or just really preppy but either way he’s got some repression going on

still a very solid look

The Oh No Oh God It Hurts I’m Looking Away I Can’t Watch This

10/10

yes that middle picture is absolutely to show off the texture of his blazer and not at all me making sure that if i have to see his heartbroken little face then you all do too

anyways i Know that blazer cost at least $100 like i Know that shit’s expensive

excellent gorgeous soft-looking hair that someone ought to run their hands through but only people who haven’t dated him for a year while pining after someone else

emotional devastation... but make it unbelievably fucking sexy

stevie baby i know you’re a colorful guy but please wear more black

The Meathead Jock

9/10

aw christ whatever happened to standards?

introduction of the blue nikes <3

god his hair looked fucking good here

could have gained that final point by using tube socks with blue and GREEN stripes to tie together the shoes and the gym uniform :/

shorts could be shorter but are an altogether appropriate and enjoyable length

fun sweatstain to customize the look <3

The (is there a word for victim of bullying?) Serious Athlete

8/10

the yellow stripe was more fun

still cute though

The Sudsy Boy

11/10

wet

suds indicate that he’s washing his hair, presumably with faberge organics. is this why he’s being bullied?

steve brings his faberge organics shampoo and conditioner and his farrah fawcett spray to school with him whenever he has basketball practice

steve either has shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray in his backpack at all times, or he has a separate gym bag that’s mostly haircare products

just need to make sure we all know that

excellent freckle showcase

his chest is still waxed. please, i beg, keep this in mind

one of his strongest looks

The Babysitter

10/10

his most versatile look to date

a different jacket than the one(s) he’s worn before but it still has the same kind of collar. steve found a jacket he liked and bought it in at least three colors

the whole thing fits So fucking nicely! shirt, jacket, jeans... baby boy is TAILORED

return of the white nikes with the red check indicate that they are his fashion nikes, while the blue nikes with the white check are his sport nikes. interesting.

this fit lasts like 48 hours and steve simply looks sexier as time goes on which is a testament to its quality as well as his inherent power

every new accessory elevates his appearance. roses, nail bat, rubber gloves, blood, sweat, band-aids, bandana, goggles... each element complements the look in its own way!

an overall win

The Chauffeur

8/10

we can’t really see the whole fit but he’s not wearing a striped polo so i’m calling it a win regardless of what’s on his bottom half

cannot give him a 10/10 though because he might be wearing khakis

red is such a nice color on him when it’s not just from his blood

i lied when i said he should wear more black he should wear more colors

that plain sweater absolutely cost $85 or more

hair looks very nice and soft

excellent look!

The Sailor Man

9/10

very precious

absolutely the best hair i’ve ever seen

baby boy got highlights for his hot girl summer!

bright colors make his very red lips pop

shorts could be shorter

love the little accents! especially the white pockets and belt

excellent color coordination on steve’s part with the blue sneakers (notably different than his s2 blue basketball nikes) and the red bruising/blood

i hope you remembered that steve’s chest was waxed. as you can see his chest is now unwaxed. some change between s2 and s3 drove this decision, presumably either his breakup with nancy or the fact that he no longer showers in front of other guys at school. up to your interpretation

shock blanket at the very end is a nice touch so we don’t forget he’s traumatized

The Drowned Rat/The Man Overboard

10/10

wet

shorts could be shorter

the decision to purchase and wear a hoodless raincoat is absolutely ridiculous and stupid

however it is also very steve harrington and i value self-expression

The Chick Magnet/The Flaming Homosexual

100/10

what can i even say about this fit?

the absolute best pants he’s worn thus far. amazing fit, excellent classic wash. i say this as a former american eagle outfitters associate and the winner of my freshman year dorm’s “best at folding jeans” award

manages to make blue jeans with a half-blue denim vest work effortlessly

bold primary colors make him stand out without being too gaudy

excellent pairing of t-shirt with simple stripes and vest with simple color blocking to create a complex yet cohesive and flattering look

simple brown belt gives the look a put-together yet down-to-earth vibe

hair has only gotten better

still wearing that same brown watch that he’s had since the introduction

this man looks like he waxes his chest

this is steve in his final form

thank you for your time

#em talks #asks #long post #steve harrington #stranger things #battleonthedeathstar

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lizzy-williams · 4 years ago

Text

𝐭𝐰𝐨

♡ Warnings: sexual intercourse, language, drugs, sexual assult, threesome

♡ Request: Would you do a imagine where the reader is best friends with Colson and Yungblud and they go to a bar and this guy is touching on the reader and her trying to get away and they come and save her and ends with jealous kinky ASF smut??

♡ Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-URGVmuYIQ

Animal by Sir Chloe

masterlist

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐎 admit, even though you weren’t really an extroverted person, dancing with your two friends was enjoyable, and actually fun. It was nice to let loose and move your body like nobody was watching.

I Think I’m Okay was now an award winning song, and you were there to watch it all, being friends with Colson before hand. And meeting Domanic was just the thing you needed. He brought a sense of energy to the group, and Colson became instant friends.

Their friendship was close, and you were thankful to have such a good friendship triangle. Each of you balanced each other out, and at the center of the two boys was you. You were the peace before the disturbance. You were good for them, almost like a guardian, keeping them in check.

But over time, you felt yourself gain feelings. But for both of them. And you hated it. Being the person you were, you were indecisive as hell. And you weren’t stupid, you saw the way they would look at you. Like there was something they wanted. So in retrospect, you could have either of them. But you wanted them both.

But now that you were on a crowded club floor, dancing and touching the boys, switching back and forth. You were with Colson at the moment, his hands on your waist as he stood behind you, his breath felt in the crook of your neck, making you back up more into him, and it was obvious that he had a hard on, making you smile to yourself. You loved how tightly you had him wrapped around your finger.

“I’m gonna go get a drink, okay?” you finally said, trying your best to talk over the music streaming through the large speakers.

Colson was close to coming with you, not wanting to lose the contact that he had an insatitable craving for. But instead, all he did was nod his head, which he mentally kicked himself for.

You smiled, sinking away in the stuffed crowd of people, Colson keeping his eyes on you until you were out of sight.

As you walked up to the bar, you ordered a Sex On the Beach, leaning over the counter as you waited.

“You here alone?” a voice brushed up closely to your right ear as you whipped around in shock, frightened; it was a voice you had never heard before.

Your thoughts scrambled to find a response that would make him leave you alone, the vibes he gave you were totally off, and you wanted nothing to do with him as his eyes raked up and down your body.

“Uh, yeah, I have a boyfriend.” you responded confidently, trying not to seem scared, even though you were terrified.

He suddenly grabbed your wrist making you yelp out, trying to get away as he struggled to get away. Out of self-defence, you held up your hand, giving him a harsh and brutal slap to his face, almost loud enough for people to hear over the speakers.

“You fucking slut!” he yelled, pushing you to the ground making you hit your head... hard.

It was honestly a fuzzy blur what happened next, your vision hazy as you tried to make sense of what was happening. You saw two blurry figures make their way quickly towards you, one of them holding you up, shaking you a little. The other hazy form proceeded to kick the shit out of the guy that caused all this, your confused mind trying to make sense of all of this.

You were then stood up and walked out the front door. When your vision was finally coming to, you were face to face with Dominic, who had a severely concerned look etched onto his face.

“Wh-What the fuck,” you mumbled.

“My thoughts exactly, what the fook happened?” Dominic’s voice was almost frantic with worry.

“I dunno... where’s Colson??” you asked, noticing that the tall blond was absent from your view.

“Currently beating the shit out of the guy that shoved you. Did he hurt you anywhere else?” he asked, touching your head lightly to see where your head hit the solid floor.

“No, he just scared me, that’s all,” that’s all you muttered, suddenly feeling sick to your stomach as you recalled the events leading up to your head injury.

“Come ‘ere,” he hummed, pulling you into a tight hug, happy that you were okay.

“You have to admit, that was a pretty good hit though,” you laughed into the side of his neck, his arms squeezing gently, pulling your small frame closer to his.

“I only saw the half of it. I’m proud of ya, love, you really handled yourself in there,” he smiled, resting his chin on the top of your head, smiling contently.

The door to the club suddenly burst open, a bloody Kells coming into view, his eyes frantically looking around for you. Once he caught sight of both you and Dom, he rushed over, hugging the both of you.

“Jesus fuck, are you okay, [ y / n ]??” he question, looking at your head to see a bruise forming from where it was struck.

You nodded, wondering how many times the two boys would be asking you that. It felt nice, having your two best friends check on you like this. Of course it was no surprise that they would make sure you were okay, but they went out of their way to protect you, Dom for emotional support and Colson for physical protection, beating the fuck out of a perv was probably one of the nicest things someone had done for you, and for that, you were grateful.

“We should head to your place, Cols.” Dom spoke up, Colson giving a quick and steady nod.

*****

As you reached Colson’s house, you were exhausted, but mostly trying to get over the throbbing headache making its assault on your brain. You collapsed on the couch, leaning all the way back, trying your best to relax, your head thrown back against the back cushion of the piece of furniture, letting out a deep exhale.

Little did you know that the two boys watched the unintentionally erotic actions, the two of them awkwardly shuffling to the kitchen trying to hide their obvious hard-ons.

You heard them from the living room, whisper yelling at each other, as you tried to make out what they were actually saying. Soon enough, they came back to the living room.

“Hey, I was thinking that all of us could chill upstairs and watch a movie or something, if that’s okay with you,” Colson spoke up, and you had to say, it didn’t sound like a bad idea.

Watching movies with Dom and Colson was fun, because you were basically movie commentators. And you had gained many inside jokes from movie nights, so needless to say, you were down for it.

“Yeah, but what about this,” you motioned to your body that was still displaying your short black club dress, your heels already kicked off and on the floor.

“You can use one of my hoodies,” Colson suggested.

“Pants?”

“Who needs pants, we’re your best friends, [ y / n ], we don’t care.” Colson objected, trying everything in his power to see you in an outfit that he had only dreamed about... you in his sweatshirt, with nothing but your panties on underneath? The thought made him almost drool.

“Come on, love, what’s the worst that could happen?” Dom chirped.

*****

“Yo, [ y / n ], you almost done in there?!” Colson yelled out to you in his bathroom, the two other boys already comfortable in Colson’s king sized bed, the TV displaying Netflix.

You just looked at yourself in the mirror. You were about to walk out in this? It’s not like the sweatshirt was the problem, the damn thing went nearly down to your lower thigh. It was the fact that you were pants-less. Colson did have a point, they were your best friends, and they truly wouldn’t care, but something in the back of your head told you that there was a part of them that did care, and not in an innocent way.

“Yeah, coming!” you called out, fixing your hair best you could before stepping out.

As you opened the door, you watched at the two boys looked your way, the reactions priceless. Dominic loved how sweet and innocent you looked, the sweater reaching over your hands was the cutest thing he had ever seen. And Colson felt a swell of pride in his chest, knowing that the girl he was falling for was wearing his sweatshirt almost like a trophy.

“Come on, then,” Dom patted the open space between him and Colson, a bright smile on his face.

You smiled in return, jumping into bed and snuggling under the covers quickly, pulling them up. Dominic couldn’t hide the hearts in his eyes as he snaked his hand around your waist and Colson’s hand gently finding your own.

The movie went on, and the three of you were more quiet than usual. Even though the movie in front of you on the screen was one of the stupidest movies you had ever seen. Nothing would make any of you crack.

After almost an hour of deafening silence, you finally spoke, “ Thank you guys...,” you muttered, your voice barely higher than a whisper.

The two turned to you and they smiled, “Of course,” Colson said, his hand squeezing yours.

“Anytime, m’love.” Dom agreed.

You then took notice how the boys had now moved closer to you, the space between the three of you closing in. And almost like a dream, the two of them let their hands roam. But you didn’t stop them. You didn’t want to.

“Wh-What are you-”

“Shh, just let us make you feel good, princess,” Colson muttered against you as you felt him lick the shell of your ear, Dom’s hands shifting up and down your waist, leaving goosebumps in it’s wake.

Considering what happens only a few hours ago, a normal person would push them away, it was almost common sense. But they weren’t the perv at the bar, they were people you trusted. And you trusted them with everything.

You let Colson’s hands found their way under the sweatshirt, while Dom’s hands found their way to your thighs, squeezing and prodding. And usually what would be self consciousness, you felt it melt away as he muttered praise, your body confidence raising with every admiring comment.

Colson’s hand found it’s way to your breasts, kneading and rubbing his thumb over the pebbled nipples, making you let out a small whimper of want. You wanted so much more.

“Such a needy lil thing, aren’t ya, [ y / n ]?” Dom whispered, his hand taking the hem of your underwear and pulling it down slowly, your legs seemingly had a mind of their own as they moved to accommodate his actions.

Dom’s fingers gently drifted up your thighs, than to your slit, grazing your clit as you whined. Colson’s hands were now all the way up your shirt.

“No bra, huh?” Colson smirked, tweaking your nipple as you let out a sigh, your eyes meeting his, “You wanted this, didn’t you?”

“You wanted both of us?” Dom pressed, the pads of his digits now pressing harshly against your clit, making you whine out, making your head throw back.

Colson took this opportunity to attack your neck with needy, wet kisses. You hand went up to his hair, your fingers pulling gently against his hair, as his tongue licked a strip up your throat.

You let out a full on moan at the erotic action, and the two boys couldn’t lie, they were taken back by it. But shock soon turned into want as you watched Dom shift, pulling your legs open, his form going between your thighs.

“You like it dirty, huh princess?” Colson continued to whisper dark nothings into your neck, “I never took you as a kinky girl... do you wanna be our good girl? At least for to night?”

You nodded your head, “Yes.”

“Yes what, baby?” he lifted his hands up, his fingers gently covering your neck.

“Yes, daddy, I want to be your good girl,” you sighed, and your body soon relaxed as his lips met yours.

Meanwhile, Dom was staring at your pussy. This was something that he had been picturing for weeks. He touched himself to the possiblities of what it was look like. But now that he was face to face with it, he could feel the painful strain his pants had on his shaft.

“Gotta stretch you out, love, are you alright with that?” he asked.

“Yes, daddy...,” you muttered out.

“Daddy, huh?” realizing that he was zoned out while you had your exchange with Colson. He had been called many things. Maybe even Master. But daddy was a change of pace, and he thought he would try it on for size.

Dom looked at you face the entire time as you felt his finger sink deep into your core. You let out loud moans. You wanted this more than anything. He then leaned down, never shifting his eyes away from your face as you threw your head back, letting out moans when his tongue finally made contact with your clit. It was heaven, and he obviously knew what he was doing.

Colson messed with your breasts. But soon he became irritated by the fabric covering your upper half. He stripped you of his sweatshirt, and his lips went directly to your breasts.

You were in nirvana as the two boys ravished your body. The coil inside of you began to tighten, and you knew it would snap if Dom kept hitting you just right and harshly sucking your clit.

“Daddy! F-Fuck! I’m gonna cum, please don’t stop!” desperate for release, you held onto his hair.

“Let go, baby, we have you,” Colson muttered against your temple before giving a sweet kiss to the area. Almost out of instinct, you took one of your hands away from Dom’s hair and intertwined it with Colson’s large hands.

You suddenly felt your orgasm crash over you violently like a tidal wave, your core clenching Dom’s fingers like a fist, your legs shaking, Dom’s hands holding them still as he licked you clean, helping you ride out your high.

Colson suddenly reached his free hand down to your sensitive pussy and swiped his fingers along your slit, gathering your cum on his fingers as he brought it up to his mouth, sucking on them.

“Fuck, darlin’, you taste amazing...,” Dom cut in, licking his lips that were once coated in your essence.

Dom ripped your small hand away from his hair, pressing a soft kiss to your wrist, peppering it with affection.

“If you two don’t get undressed soon, I might flip out,” you enquired, almost too excited to see the fully exposed bodies of the forms you had been fantasizing about ever since you found out you had feelings for them.

They obliged but they made sure that that was the only demand you were making that night. once they were fully nude, you almost felt like drooling, the both of them bigger than you had pictured them.

And now you could see how many tattoos Colson actually had.

You watched as the two got nearer, both of them closing in around you. You felt like you were going to burst, wanting them both so badly.

Dom immediately went to your side, Colson taking position at the foot of the bed, his eyes trained on you as he gave a few swift pumps to his shaft. Dominic kissed you passionately, his tongue running over your bottom lip.

Colson soon got on top of you, the feeling of his cock dragging right over your pussy making you moan out silently.

“Ready, princess?” he growled, his head going to the side of your neck.

You nodded.

“Now, come on love, use your words darlin’,” Dom tisked, his hand running over your breast.

“Yes, Daddy.” you muttered, Colson’s lips meeting yours as he began to slowly sink into you, your hand clutching Dom’s as you tried to adjust.

“Fuck, princess, so fucking tight, aren’t you, huh?” Colson groaned against the skin of your neck.

“Does it feel good, love?” Dom asked, wanting to hear you tell him everything you were feeling. He, in fact, had a slight voyeurism kink.

“It feels so good, daddy, fuck he’s stretching me out so fucking good,” you cursed rapidly as Colson started to move, his hips slamming into yours harshly, giving you somewhat little time to adjust.

You let out loud moans of pleasure, Dom taking your breasts and putting them in your mouth, wanting nothing more than to give you as much pleasure as he could. You loved the feeling of his tongue rolling over your pebbled nipples, the heat radiating off the two boys highly erotic, making you only want them more.

“F-Faster daddy,” you muttered, your hand reaching up to his hair, his other hand now on his back, scratching it up as you felt Colson’s groan let out vibrations that made you whine.

“Anything for you, princess,” he groaned, his hips soon slamming against yours, fucking you hard, fast, and raw. It was amazing, and nothing like you had ever had before. It was thrilling.

You watched as Dom continued to lick your nipples. But you felt bad. Colson was getting his pleasure. And you decided Dom did too. You took your hand that was on Colson’s back, and taking his cock in your hands, giving it a squeeze as you watched his reaction. It almost made you cum right then and there.

“Fuck, you look so gorgeous like this,” he grunted, your hand now moving up and down quickly, your thumb occasionally brushing over a throbbing vein.

Colson violently fucked you, his shaft appearing and disappearing in your folds. It felt amazing as you felt two pair of hands ravaging your body like they were. Dom’s hand was now between your legs, pinching you clit, making you clench.

The feeling of euphoria came closer and closer as you began to tense up.

“You gonna cum, baby?” Colson hissed against your skin.

“Yes, daddy, please let me cum! I’ve earned it...,” you pleaded, wanting nothing more than to let go, but not without they’re say so.

“Hold on just as little while longer, love, I want us all to cum together,” Dom sighed, his hand now rubbing quicker.

But you couldn’t. You were so close, so selfish, you wanted to cum. So bad.

And you did. And it felt so fucking good, your legs shaking, your core tensing, and your grip on Dom’s cock tightening.

It started a chain reaction, Colson’s hips stuttering as he felt you clench, his cum shooting into you, Dom cumming right after you.

You all road out your highs. But after all of you were down to earth, they each gave you deadly glares of disappointment. You had a look of guilt etched on your face.

“And you were doin’ so good,” Dom muttered, getting up and standing at the foot of the bed, Colson doing the same thing.

“Get the rope.” Colson gave you a dangerous look.

You fucked up.

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly smut #yungblud #yungblud x reader #yungblud smut #hotel diablo #tickets to my downfall #concert for aliens #estxx #rookxx #bloody valentine #bazexx #machine gun kelly imagine #yungblud imagine

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hualianff · 3 years ago

Text

More Than This V 《IV》

(Minor NSFW)

The media has a field day when HC is pictured stepping onto the red carpet with his arm wrapped around XL’s waist. Neither of them acknowledges the scandalous questions or rude comments flung their way. They simply revel in how liberating it feels to finally be seen in public together. No more hiding!

XL himself is quite a catch. He is his charming and bubbly self in the short interviews with reporters HC has deemed polite enough to spare time for.

(Reporter: “Both of you look gorgeous in your outfits today.”

XL, leaning forward to speak into the mic: “That’s very kind of you to say, thank you. These are actually designed by my good friend, Shi Qingxuan, who has a growing clothing business. They’re incredibly talented and aim to be gender and size-inclusive with all kinds of styles.” *pause* “Ah, forgive me for rambling.” *an embarrassed laugh*

HC, immediately: “Gege is not rambling at all.”

Reporter, shaking their head: “No no, that’s lovely to hear. Judging from your outfits tonight, there’s no question of their talent.”

XL, smiling as bright as the sun: “Absolutely. As you can see, inspiration was drawn from the era the film San Lang-” *gestures to HC, whose attention is solely on XL, with the fondest expression* “-is in. I personally adore the traditional wardrobe–the stylists did an amazing job. It may seem a bit silly, but I wanted to dress up similarly to the characters myself.”

Reporter: “That’s not silly at all.” *receives approving look from HC* “I think that’s wonderful. Though no protagonist attire for you tonight, Hua Cheng?”

HC, shaking his head: “I’ll settle for being a low-ranked artist with a handsome partner.”

The crowd erupts into hysterical shouts.)

(A month prior, right before XL heads to meet up with SQX to discuss outfits for the red carpet...

“I know it’s not a common thing to do–to mimic the styles of the film. You don’t have to dress up with me! ” XL had insisted. HC shook his head, engulfing XL in a bear hug.

“If Gege is, then so am I,” HC said decisively.

The happiness in XL’s eyes is beyond worth it.)

When getting their pictures taken, XL politely smiles for the cameras while HC can’t help but stare at XL. HC then poses by resting his cheek against the top of XL’s head, smiling lazily. Fans and other celebrities alike are instantly taken by the wholesome sight. HC does not doubt that after tonight, XL will have his own fansites.

Who in their right mind wouldn’t be whipped for XL upon first glance? In his eyes, XL looks more like a prince than HC did as the character in the film. As long as XL’s boundaries are respected, HC is willing to share his boyfriend with the world.

(Reporter: “So how did you two meet?”

XL: “We met while watch-shopping!”

Reporter, over-exaggerated gasp: “Watch-shopping?”

XL and HC, simultaneously clarifying: “Shopping for watches-”

XL: “I was buying a gift for a friend and didn’t know which kind to get-”

HC: “-I saw him browsing and offered some suggestions based on what I liked.”

Reporter to XL: “Did you know it was Hua Cheng you were talking to?”

XL, sheepishly: “Hahah, actually, no-”

The crowd descends into chaos.)

During the awards ceremony, whenever the camera pans over to HC, he’s too busy whispering or laughing with XL. Anyone witnessing their interactions can clearly see how happy XL and HC are.

Overall, XL is very well received by the public. HC keeps XL by his side the entire time. (They’re inseparable, your honor!) He offers XL the best snacks because he knows XL loves munching on things during long events. There’s alcohol too. HC and XL help themselves to plenty, resulting in touchy XL and relaxed HC.

When HC’s name is announced, winning for best lead actor, XL wraps his arms around HC’s shoulders while HC buries his face into XL’s neck, rocking them back and forth happily. HC keeps his acceptance speech short, thanking everyone who made the film possible, his fans who continuously support him, and XL–who’s been in his life for two years.

HC walks back down the stage, ignoring the people gesturing him backstage, so he can return to XL. He doesn’t give a fuck.

As soon as the show dismisses them, HC stands up and pulls XL through the crowd so they can rush to the limo already waiting for them. Both of them are high off adrenaline and tipsy from the alcohol, their giddiness contagious.

HC nearly snaps when other celebrities come up and greet HC as if they were on friendly terms before cozying up to XL. They invite HC and his partner–they hungrily eye XL–to visit with them at their after-party.

(XL: “Maaaaybe-“ *sly smile*

HC: “No.”

XL: “Next time then.” *smiles sweetly at the other celebrities*

HC: *glares at the other celebrities*

Other celebrities: *whiplash*)

HC has no intention of overwhelming XL with the pompous movie industry. Fuck pretentious after parties.

Plus, their enjoyable night is far from over.

As soon as the couple makes it into the privacy of the limo–the sliding barrier closed–XL’s lips quickly find his boyfriend’s. HC groans appreciatively, automatically opening his mouth for XL’s tongue to delve in, licking obscenely.

“Gege is eager,” HC notes with satisfaction. This only causes XL to kiss HC harder, pressing needily against the taller man until he’s pushed back onto the largest section of the seat.

HC’s hands secure themselves on XL’s hips, not prepared for the way the older man heavily drops into HC’s lap. XL’s thick thighs spread into a wide straddle as he sensually grinds on top of HC.

“I-I believe a congratulation is in order for San Lang’s win t-tonight,” XL huffs, already breathless from their kissing.

“Oh?” HC attaches his lips to XL’s jawline, trailing down the smooth column of his neck. XL whimpers as arousal shoots down his spine all the way down to his toes. “And how does Gege plan on helping me celebrate?”

Much to HC’s surprise, XL doesn’t shy away from eye contact at the teasing nor the thrust of HC’s hips up between XL's legs. Instead, XL holds his gaze while panting open-mouthed, a natural blush painted across his cheeks.

“Let me ride you.”

HC’s breath stutters.

XL bites his lip while guiding HC’s hands down to the swell of his ass where they are large enough to fully hold both cheeks. HC’s heated gaze does not waver from XL’s flushed face as he runs a pointer finger down his boyfriend’s clothed crack.

He feels a small bump where XL’s entrance should be.

“What a pleasant surprise; Gege’s still loose from this morning. Plugged yourself up cause you couldn’t wait for me to open you up after the show, could you?” HC murmurs knowingly. He pushes against the plug, making XL’s hips twitch forward.

“Gege wants to ride me, yeah? Gonna bounce on my cock now that the whole world knows who it belongs to?” HC continues lewdly, never breaking eye contact with XL.

“Nghh! S-san Lang-!” XL’s face burns with embarrassment he brought upon himself.

“Yes or no, gege?” HC relentlessly presses.

“I- hmmm, yes-!”

XL’s hips search for friction as HC fondles with the plug but HC stills them with a firm hand. HC scoffs in disbelief how such a beautiful person could be his. He leans up to kiss XL’s temple, already damp from perspiration.

“God, I love you so much.”

The sound of fabric tearing snaps XL out of his daze.

“SAN LANG, THE CLOTHES-”

XL yelps as HC gives him something other than his ruined outfit to scream about.

***

(As per HC’s earlier request, the chauffeur takes a one-hour detour before arriving at the final destination.)

《VI》

#tgcf #heavenly official's blessing #hualian #hualian au #xie lian #hua cheng #modern au #cerdrabbles #TBC #epilogue #landscaper XL #actor HC

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mysticalhouseofcards · 4 years ago

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✨🔮✨BTS members current energy reading ✨

Kim Namjoon

Current Energy

✨ Seven of Cups reversed ✨ Generally this card reversed can indicate that he is finding clarity and getting back to reality after a period of indulging in fantasies or living in a dream world. He may be finally starting to act decisively and see the correct path for him clearly, having previously felt indecisive or lost. It represents getting a reality check. Alternately, when this Seven of Cups appears reversed it can indicate that he may has a lack of options, choices or opportunities or he may be feeling restricted or trapped in some way.

Hopes and Fears

✨ The Lovers reversed ✨ The Lovers tarot card reversed makes me think that he is afraid of a breakup I can't be sure about the kind of break up but I am feeling is something work related . Whatever it is, makes him feel insecure and that he or the project he is working on will become less whole. Lovers reversed can also indicate a wrong choice being made. The spiritual and mental connection between him and people is lost or blocked. When this card shows up reversed he might not know what to do. Decisions are being made due to earthly desires and needs, much because it is practical, rather than because it makes him happy and fulfilled.

How to Release

✨ Queen of Wands ✨The advices this card has for him are ,to nurture his creative fire and pour his energy into his creative work. Breathe life into it. Take action on his desires. If there is something (or someone!) he wants, it tells him Go for it!Bring enthusiasm into his situation and Inspire + encourage others through his example.The Queen of Wands is the female leader. When this card comes up, it can say: take the lead. Don’t want to lead? Find someone who will.A brave approach is needed now. Be confident!

Future

✨ Two of Swords and Seven of Wands✨A general meaning of the Two of Swords card is representation of a stalemate, truce or being at a crossroads. It indicates that he will be sitting on the fence or struggling to make/ avoiding a difficult, stressful or painful decision. It is the the card of coming face to face with your fears. It can also signify being torn between two loyalties, relationships, situations, offers or people. It represents being caught in the middle of an argument or conflict and trying to mediate between opposing parties. The Two of Swords also represents blocking emotions, being in denial, blindness and an inability or unwillingness to see the truth. The Seven of Wands card tells that whatever the situation/s he'll have to face will be he will standing up for his beliefs and ideas , he'll be able to maintain control and show he is a strong willed person. Lastly this card tells me that his life will give him challenges and a very hectic schedule .

Kim Seokjin

Current Energy

✨ Five of Pentacles reversed ✨ Generally , the Five of Pentacles reversed is a good omen especially if he has been going through a tough time as it represents hardship coming to an end, overcoming adversity or a positive change in circumstances. When everything seemed hopeless, he was able to held on and now he can see the light at the end of the tunnel! It can also signify improvement in relationships, finances or luck. This card can also represent illnesses improving, recovering from problems and being accepted or welcomed back after a period of alienation or isolation. He should be in a much more positive frame of mind, beginning to rebuild his feeling of security and stability and making progress. He may also be finding forgiveness for anyone who may have caused him any kind of issues in the past. The Five of Pentacles reversed can also indicate letting go of people or relationships that were toxic for him as he is starting to focus on the future.

Hopes and Fears

✨ Eight of Pentacles ✨ With this card I'm getting that he works really hard on a project or maybe a new skill that will be useful in the future but he is afraid that all of his hard work will be in vain because of what is happening right now to the world but of course that the same time he hopes that he'll be able to achieve his goals and find success.

How to Release

✨Three of Wands reversed ✨This card can indicate a need to revise his plans. Perhaps his ambitions are a bit too big at this time.Rather than go big, go small is what I'm getting. Micro steps instead of big, bold moves will make more good results.Instead of global, this card favors local. No need to conquer the world. Start closer to home.

Future

✨ Two of Pentacles reversed and Six of Swords reversed✨The Two of Pentacles card reversed can indicate that he will be biting off more than he can chew! He will may be trying to keep too many balls in the air and finding it impossible to maintain the balance between the various areas of his life. This card represents feeling overwhelmed, overextending himself and lack of organisation. It can also signify that he will make some poor choices because he will be under pressure and may be getting himself into more of a mess than need to. The Six of Swords card reversed show me that he might have to face some troubles in the future but I don't feel like it will be something really important! Also this card is talking about delays , so maybe something that he is working on is moving slower than he would like , but I don't feel that this is bad either , some times obstacles and delays can lead us in a greater place from what we already had in mind! Lastly I'm seeing him healing slowly from a past trauma.

Min Yoongi

Current Energy

✨ Six of Pentacles and Queen of Pentacles ✨ The Six of Pentacles card represents gifts, kindness and generosity. Someone in his life may be very generous towards him with gifts or simply generous with their time, knowledge or wisdom. Alternately, he may has so much wealth and prosperity that he is now the one in a position to help others. This card can also indicate sharing, support, charity or donations. He may be feeling a strong sense of community spirit or compelled to help those around him. It is also a card of power and control ,so he may has come in a position of authority or being well-respected by others when . The Six of Pentacles is usually a positive card to get as it can signify equality and fairness and can also symbolise , being valued or being rewarded for hard work. Queen of Pentacles tarot card denotes a down to earth and practical approach to life and situations. It is important for him now to have work/home balance. Queen of pentacles shows me that he takes enjoyment in material pleasures and success at the moment. This is a very nurturing card and tells me that he wants to take care of people around him . Queen of pentacles inspires integrity and warmth and being an abundant partner, and friend.

Hopes and Fears

✨ Page of Pentacles ✨ This card shows me that he is thinking about the future and some long term goals he wants to achieve ! He is hoping that he will be able to catch every opportunity come to him and find success in his goals ,but at the same time I could say that he is a bit stressed about missing possible good opportunities and make the right choices.

How to Release

✨ Five of Swords ✨This card is often associated with a victory through deceit. As advice, this may say: to watch his back , a betrayal is possible.But it can also advise to always use honesty to achieve his goals. In case he is doing something shady, it’s not too late to turn things around.In some cases, the Five of Swords can advise to use craftiness if you wish to score a victory. Examine his options, take charge and be strategic.Be assertive! A competitive mindset is needed. Take a stand and/or take over.

Future

✨ The Lovers ✨ Generally the Lovers signifies perfect union, harmony, love and attraction. The Lovers can represent finding the balance within oneself. He will learn to understand hiself, his own personal moral code and what he values in life. This will bring harmony and balance to his life. He will have major choices to make or face with a dilemma. He may will be feeling uncertain about situations, people in his life or what direction he should take. These will be important decisions he will have to face . He shouldn't automatically go for the easy road, he'll have to make sure he'll have all the information and make the right decision. Even if it seems like a difficult path, it will lead him on to greater things.

Jung Hoseok

Current Energy

✨ Six of Cups ✨ Generally, the Six of Cups card represent nostalgia, childhood memories and focusing on the past. He may be being influenced by past events, reminiscing about the past or thinking about someone from his past. It can signify simplicity, playfulness, innocence, goodwill and sharing. It can also represent protection and family. If has been going through a tough time, the Six of Cups may be telling to take the support available to him from family and close friends. When the Six of Cups appearance can also indicate that he is being childish or immature.

Hopes and Fears

✨Six of Wands and Seven of Cups ✨In general context, the Six of Wands here represents the hope he has for success, victory, winning, triumph, achievement and having the advantage. It also signifies that he likes and hopes for praise, acclaim, awards, recognition, applause. It is a card of fame, celebrity, fans, well-wishers, supporters, crowds and being in the spotlight. It indicates that he hopes to be a leader, confident and proud with high self-esteem. It is a card that means that he hopes to have strength and stability and can also represent successful campaigns and winning battles against himself or others. With the Seven of Cups card I'm getting that he is afraid of losing important opportunities and make the wrong decision about important matters and stressed of the amount of things he has to take care of.

How to Release

✨Five of Cups reversed ✨ This card advises him to be kind to himself and take baby steps. He is moving forward but may still have a bit of healing work undone.Change is favored. Embrace the new, even if it seems scary. It’s brighter than what he imagine.If he is struggling with emotions or dependency, he doesn't have to go alone ,help is right under his nose.

Future

✨Six of Pentacles ✨ This card represents gifts, kindness and generosity. Someone in his life may will be very generous towards him with gifts or simply generous with their time, knowledge or wisdom. Alternately, he will may has so much wealth and prosperity that he will be the one in a position to help others. This card can also indicate sharing, support, charity or donations. He may will be feeling a strong sense of community spirit or compelled to help those around him. It is also a card of power and control ,so he may will come in a position of authority or being well-respected by others when . The Six of Pentacles is usually a positive card to get as it can signify equality and fairness and can also symbolise , being valued or being rewarded for hard work.

Park Jimin

Current Energy

✨The Chariot reversed and Seven of Cups✨The Chariot card reversed can indicate that he feels powerless and is lacking direction. He needs to take control of his own destiny and not let outside forces determine his path. When The Chariot reversed he is still moving but he has let go of the reins.He has to focus and take control back! He has to consider what aspects of his current situation are within his control and take proactive steps to change his fate.This may be leading to anger, frustration and uncontrolled aggression. If the people in his life are being too needy and demanding him , he needs to take back his power in a productive way. Also he has to be clear about what time or resources he is prepared to dedicate to others ,set boundaries and stick to them. Seven of Cups card represents having lots of options to choose from or multiple possibilities open to him. It can be an indication that he has so many choices or so many things going on at once that he may be overwhelmed or unable to focus properly. He needs to limit the amount of things he's taking on to a manageable amount. There is no point in agreeing to do things if he can’t give them the time and attention they deserve. He has to try to be realistic about what he can commit to. Also, it indicates that he needs to make a decision in his life and realistically look at where he is ,take proactive steps to make his situation better rather than fantasising about how he wants it to be.

Hopes and Fears

✨King of Pentacles ✨King of pentacles card tells me that he hopes for success in business stuff by being an expert in his field. It is a very ambitious and career-oriented card! But it seems like he is afraid of losing control and power, as well as security and a stable home.

How to Release

✨ Two of Pentacles reversed ✨Things have spun out of control !Seek balance is the advice of this card to him and don’t try to do it all alone.

Future

✨ Page of Swords ✨ He will be full of energy, passion and enthusiasm. He will be bursting with new ideas and plans for the future. He may will be excited about starting a new project, pursuing a new approach or learning something new. He'll have so much energy that he will feel as though he could do almost anything and he can! The challenge, however, is whether he will be able to keep it up. As with all Pages, the beginning always looks promising, but he will need something else to follow through and keep up the pace.

Kim Taehyung

Current Energy

✨ The Chariot reversed and Temperance ✨The Chariot card reversed like Jimin's case can indicate that he feels powerless and is lacking direction. He needs to take control of his own destiny and not let outside forces determine his path. When The Chariot reversed he is still moving but he has let go of the reins.He has to focus and take control back! He has to consider what aspects of his current situation are within his control and take proactive steps to change his fate.This may be leading to anger, frustration and uncontrolled aggression. If the people in his life are being too needy and demanding him , he needs to take back his power in a productive way. Also he has to be clear about what time or resources he is prepared to dedicate to others ,set boundaries and stick to them. In general, the Temperance card signifies balance, peace, patience and moderation. This card indicates that he has found his inner calm and has a good perspective on things. Temperance can also signify that he has found peace and tranquillity and he is feeling content. Temperance indicates that he is truly in touch with who he is inside, what he values and his own moral compass and he is finding it easier to figure out his aspirations and set goals for himself. Lastly it seems like he is trying to get out of the energy the Chariot reversed card has and not allow hiyself to be dragged into other people’s conflict or to let minor issues knock him off balance. Instead he is trying to adapt to the situations with a clear mind and calm heart and keep his balance.

Hopes and Fears

✨Ace of Wands ✨He is hoping for good news and new beginnings and him being able to take action, physically starting something, finding new passion, enthusiasm or spark but at the same time he is afraid that those things want come to him .

How to Release

✨ Five of Cups ✨He might has suffered a loss, grieve. This card advises him to go through the process, even though it may feel uncomfortable. Face his loss full on because by dealing with it directly, he begins the process of healing.Don’t cry over spilt milk.If he has been stuck in regret mode, he won’t be able to see the new possibilities and says Stop looking back.Put the water under the bridge. Forgive and move on.

Future

✨ The Devil revery✨In a general Devil reversed can signify that he will become aware of the things that have been trapping him and the role he plays in allowing them to. It is a great card for anyone battling an addiction or mental illness or engaging in harmful behaviour as it indicates that he will start to see the light and take back control of himself and his life. He wants to be free from problems and he will start to get the motivation to change his circumstances. It can also indicate that he will get a new perspective on issues that made him feel powerless to change previously. The changes he will want to make may not be easy but they are necessary for him if he wants to have a happy life in the future and will realise what he has to do.

Jeon Jungkook

Current Energy

✨ Queen of Swords ✨Queen of Swords t card denotes tells me that at the moment he is kind of cold, professional and thinks in a smart way. He is trying to be is witty and funny in an intelligent way . At the moment he seems to be single and may have been hurt in love, and is bitter and hurt, but good at covering it up. Staying professional right now is a must for him . And also with this card I'm feeling that is not a good period for him to try new artistic things.

Hopes and Fears

✨ The Lovers ✨ I'm getting that he might be afraid that he won't find his significant other or his match about a work related situation and make wrong choices that won't feel him up emotionally and generally.

How to Release

✨ The Hanged Man ✨The Hanged Man advises to wait ,put his feet up and chill , let go and allow the Universe to sort things out.This card can also symbolize sacrifice, it may be advising him to do just that: make a sacrifice. Surrender to the situation ,stop struggling. Give up and trust that things will work out as need be.

Future

✨ Eight of Swords and Four of Cups reversed ✨

In general , the Eight of Swords tells me that he will be feeling trapped, confined, restricted or backed into a corner or having his hands tied. It signifies fear, terror, anxiety and psychological issues. It is a card of hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, slavery, persecution and being silenced or censored. He will be feeling the pressure when this appears and may be in crisis or going through a dilemma or drama. However, the overall theme of this card is that he will be the one keeping yourself in this situation through negative thinking and allowing himself to be paralysed by fear. This card also represents consequences and judgement which may take the form of trial by jury, imprisonment and punishment ! The Four of Cups reversed though tells me that this situation won't last long. Generally , the Four of Cups card reversed indicates that he will pull himself out of the rut he has been in. While his life may have previously felt stagnant, that will come to an end. The Four of Cups reversed represent leaving regrets, remorse and wishful thinking in the past and focusing on the present and moving forward in a positive direction.

#Aria #bts current energy reading #kpop bts #kpop tarot blog #kpop tarot reading #current energy reading #bts tarot #kpop tarot

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magnumdays · 4 years ago

Text

Magnum PI - 3.03 - No Way Out

So this week episode was...well, I don’t know.

I guess I enjoyed it and we got some fun moments. But over all I just... I just didn’t like anyone (weird because they’re my babies) . Everyone were just acting so not cool with each other. The bickering was annoying rather endearing. Seriously some of the most enjoyable bits were the Rick-being-worried-mother-hen ones.

Also where was the Miggy? There was barely any! (yes I’m saying that about the episode where we got this)

and an end scene like this

This little squint-y thing when she’s texting Ethan and smiling? We see you Magnum.

(And how can Jay just get hotter and hotter? I mean, seriously, someone call the fire department already!)

Magnum “keeping tally” of her dates....because of “the over under” that was pretty great too! And him pulling her out of the elevator. And her giving him a ‘mmmm nice’ look when he was wearing the sexy black commando outfit...

IDK, maybe there was some Miggy crumbs and maybe my slight ‘meehewh’ experience was it was just because I was watching this at 5 am and the streaming site kept buffering (and I just got so spoiled with 3.01-2). But I don’t know. It did feel a little flat. Maybe low stakes because I didn’t feel like no one was actually in danger, which is really weird during a hostage situation.

Plus point for the fact that they brought up / it caused problem that Higgy switched to TC for her Fake-Fiance! That was just so stupid I’m glad it actually came back to bite her. I would however have liked them all to be blaming themselves, rather than each other, because that just wasn’t cute.

Still, I mean some of the biggest reasons I watch Magnum because of good (and oh so pretty) characters, friendship and brotherhood (and partnership), Miggy, beautiful scenery and cool cars. I didn’t get much of any of that other than a minute at the end. Like seriously, there was not even one shot of the Ferrari this week...*tears*

Having some almost-personal-experience (one of my best friends is currently appealing her work visa and was possibly going to have to leave right before Christmas) it’s really tough to not know what’s going to happen. My friend is really broken up about it and I’m really bummed out too. It’s real terrifying to be at the whim of some government person who don’t know you or your circumstances other than from a sheet of paper. A person, that have the power to separate you from your new family and home.

So I kind of get why Juliet is upset and lashing out. She hates that she has no control. So I can forgive her.... for half of it.

But these guys all did this illegal thing for you Juliet, because they wanted you to stay so bad!

Magnum is easily as upset as you Higgy and TC isn’t happy either. They love you! Try to remember that!

(I mean TC lied badly and awkwardly for you girl, come on!)

Blaming them might be a cooping mechanism (and I actually love the fact that we got her fake crying about her ‘daddy issues’ because we all know that she probably got some. At least my head cannon Mr. Higgins isn’t winning dad of the year awards) but it’s also going backwards for her character (but when have they ever really cared about that?).

I figure it’s for the drama but it could have been equally dramatic if Higgy had just gone ‘I guess that means I’m going home for good’ and started mentioning all the things she was going to miss and Magnum was being all, ‘I’m sorry I fudge it up’ (even though I’m not sure I actually think it’s more Magnum’s fault than anyone else’s...)

Or they could have kept it all the same, but at some point actually had Juliet admit that she said yes to the proposal, she’s at fault too and maybe that she really should just have married Magnum. I mean that would just have been the simplest and most likely to succeed thing to do to succeed with the fake visa. Her switching messed it up and even with the ‘I own a business’ visa it’s still causing problems.

This could also finally have given them a moment to talk about WHY she did that (because they would be less likely that things went wrong with TC? Wouldn’t he go to jail if they found out same as with Magnum? How did switching ever make any sense?), maybe we could even have gotten some Miggy feels hinted at - of course interrupted by Bad Guys coming to shoot them.

I feel like this was maybe how it went in the original script - because of the whole “and I didn’t have to marry either one of you” comment at the end. I feel like that might have been meant to tie in with a scene like that. But that’s probably just my shippy sleepy brain making stuff up!

Despite this all I did enjoyed Magnum little speech about how it’s all his fault. It’s totally stupid and illogical for him to make it and if the immigration guy hadn’t been all ‘lets just forget about this because you saved my life, welcome to America’ it would maybe even have led to Magnum losing his license, them all getting arrested and Higgy deported. It’s still really cute and heartwarming and if Juliet keeps calling him immature man-child after this I’m gonna be annoyed.

The “welcome home” at the end and generally good feeling of things being some what settled with the visa (or so I’m assuming) is really nice. Higgy is finally actually home and we got a lovely family dinner with the whole gang, Juliet saying thank you and some Miggy puppy dog eyes to finish it all up with. Over all it felt vaguely like this might have been meant to air around Thanksgiving or something originally.

I guess I can’t complain too much. Little sad we didn’t get any kind of Christmas feels (but with the filming scheduled weird due to corona I get why no one would even have considered it) but I really hope we get a X-mas themed episode in season 4!

#magnum pi #magnum pi cbs #magnum pi season 3 #miggy #thomas mangum #juliet higgins #tc

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shotgun--rider · 4 years ago

Text

Rumor

A Jensen x Reader oneshot

Y/N’s never considered how many suspiciously snuggly photos there are of her and her best friend. Then they all come out in a Buzzfeed article, published just in time for everyone to grill her during her solo panel. Now what?

Word Count: 4000

Warnings: Really dumb fluff, everyone’s anxious, Jared and Briana are sick of everyone’s shit

A/N: This is dumb and fluffy and dangerously song-fic territory but it showed up and demanded to be written so here you go. I have no idea if this is actually any good. Enjoy?

---------* ---------

You were the epitome of normal, growing up. You had decent grades, run-of-the-mill hobbies, and an average high school cashier job. You could hop on your bike (and later, borrow your parents’ car) and take yourself to the coffee shop, or to a friend’s, and the only people that would look twice at you were drivers checking to make sure the kid on the bike didn’t steer into traffic.

You didn’t win any “most likely to” awards in the yearbook, your college major was undecided for an embarrassing length of time, and your 300-odd Instagram followers were comprised of friends and some polite acquaintances from welcome week. And you didn’t mind. You were perfectly happy to go through your day-to-day without turning heads and making waves.

That was all before you’d answered an open casting call on a whim, strapped for cash and mostly there because a sparkly website proclaiming “50 Easy Side Hustles!” had suggested spending your weekends as an extra if you lived in a big filming city. Before your three-episode contract in a show you’d never bothered to watch turned into a series regular.

Now, you’re pretty much guaranteed to have your face splashed across the internet every time you stick a toe off the end of your L.A. property line. Even if the paparazzi aren’t there to get you in Page Six with some wildly exaggerated nonsense, a fan somewhere will snap a blurry photo and upload it somewhere for people to shout about you in the comments section. You’ve never gotten used to being tagged in edits of your own face, or watching your follower count creep steadily upwards. You’re just… you. You’ve always been just the normal, average girl from a nothing-special hometown.

Even after your third year running on Supernatural, you still forget. You still make it all the way to the end of the block before you remember that the person shouting your name is the bodyguard you accidentally abandoned two errands ago. You still get confused when the restaurant wait staff stares at you, still get annoyed calls from your publicist begging you to at least try to appear in fewer coffee shop paparazzi pictures looking like a disgruntled zombie who’s never seen a hairbrush. (Sue you, you can’t be expected to be functional before a cup of coffee.)

You’re a brilliant actress, an unexpected fan-favorite, relatable to everyone in your autograph line...and you’re kind of a terrible celebrity. Unlike certain child models turned actors straight at 18 you may know, this isn’t a world you were trained in. Which is probably why it doesn’t even occur to you that being caught frequently in the company of your best friend might look like something until you’re staring at your own name in a headline on your phone screen, in line at Starbucks before your first panel of the con weekend.

Y/N L/N’s Secret Relationship With Co-Star Jensen Ackles, howls the bold-printed headline, and you blink stupidly at the letters, uncomprehending, until you realize that someone’s trying to get your attention. “Sorry, what?”

The barista looks impatient, suppressing an eyeroll and starting her spiel before cutting off halfway with a squeak. “Oh, my god, you’re her! I’m sorry, I’m just… you’re literally my favorite!” She’s blushing and stuttering and has a near-death grip on the empty coffee cup she was preparing to write your name on.

“Oh,” you reply, forcing the fog of confusion from your brain and slapping on a smile. “Hi, you caught me.”

“Can I...um…” the girl reaches into her back pocket and sheepishly produces her cell phone, complete with a flaming pentagram case. “Um, selfie?”

You smile indulgently, leaning over the counter. The fans are one of the best parts, really, and it’s never a hardship to make someone smile. (That is, when they’re not selling rumors and lies to the tabloids, you think grumpily.)

The barista girl pulls back with a wide smile and a full-face blush, and keeps glancing shyly up at you while she punches in your usual order, plus the second coffee Jensen texted you this morning to beg for. “So I guess Jensen’s around here too, then, right?” she asks perkily, taking your card.

“Uh...sorry, what?”

She shrugs like it’s obvious. “Since you flew in together,”

You blink rapidly, feeling stupid. You’re obviously missing the punchline somewhere. “We, uh...didn’t. I mean...I flew out of L.A.,” you say cautiously. Your home city is already public knowledge, as is the fact that Jensen lives in Austin, and you can’t imagine she doesn’t know this.

Her eyes pop wide with curiosity. “Wait, so you’re not staying with him?”

This conversation is too much for your poor, jetlagged, coffeeless brain. “No?” you try weakly, so far past confused at this point that you might actually be getting a headache. “Why would I…”

Not that Jensen’s Austin house isn’t lovely, and not that you’d object to staying there, and not that you haven’t stayed there plenty of times before, but you’re pretty sure you’re still missing the point.

The barista lunges forward over the counter, leaning in to ask in a hushed voice, “Did you guys break up?”

An emphatic “No!” leaves your mouth so loudly that the old man in line behind you starts grumbling. “No, you don’t--”

“Get a move on,” Old Man grouches in the background. “I don’t care who you are,”

“Oh, good,” the girl cuts you off with a relieved grin. “You guys are so cute, you know? I mean, I kinda figured you had to have something going on, but actually seeing it--it’s going to be so much cuter if Dean and Sierra ever kiss now, oh my god--”

She devolves into a squeal, and the we’re not actually dating dies on your tongue. You have better things to do this morning than correct the misinformation of one teenage barista, so you end up just shaking your head and taking the two cups of coffee wearily. “Right, well, I’ve gotta go, so--” you duck around the old man and beeline for the door before anyone can say anything else. Oh, god, your publicist is so going to kill you.

***

Jared and Jensen are both in the green room when you make it back to the convention hotel, and you groan softly as you walk into the room. Once Jared hears about your so-called relationship, you’re never going to hear the end of it. Then again, better he hear it from you than find it in the tabloids. May as well bite the bullet now before it comes up in a Q&A.

“Hey,” you slide up to Jensen’s elbow, holding out the requested coffee cup as a preemptive truce. “So, we’re apparently dating now,”

Jensen snorts, shaking his head and swapping the coffee cup into his other hand so he can wrap his arm around your shoulders in greeting. “Yeah, I saw that.”

“I think I may have given a barista the impression we’ve had a tumultuous breakup,” you say ruefully, tilting your head up to look at him in apology. “Sorry,”

Jensen’s green eyes are dancing, though, and he throws back his head and laughs, still keeping you tucked close enough that you can feel his whole body shake. “Of course you did, sweetheart,”

It’s pretty much the reaction you expected from Jensen, who’s so used to your antics at this point that he just gives you a fond smile and moves on to damage control. Jared, on the other hand, is...not commenting, and suspicion cuts short your quiet enjoyment of being hugged against Jensen. It took the boys a while to feel comfortable messing with you when you first got on set, but after they figured out you gave as good as you got, they’d never yet missed an opportunity to tease and prank you.

You squint at Jared warily. “Why aren’t you reacting?”

Jared’s lips immediately start twitching, but he makes a valiant attempt at a mock-concerned face. “Oh shit, sorry. Here, tell me again and I’ll pretend like I’m surprised this time,”

Unwilling to bother unwinding yourself from under Jensen’s arm, you extend a childish foot in the direction of Jared’s shins, scowling at him. He dodges easily, laughing, and tosses out, “Someone should really tell Buzzfeed they’re reporting really old news,”

“Shut up and drink your damn coffee, Padalecki,” you shoot back without any real venom.

“Oh, you mean my hotel coffee? The coffee I got stuck with because you only buy Starbucks for Jensen?”

Jensen straightens up proudly, no doubt making a face at Jared over the top of your head. “Y/N just likes me better. That’s why she’s my best friend.”

You roll your eyes, ducking under Jensen’s arm and a few steps away. “You both suck,” you deadpan, resisting an internal wince at the friendzone. “Now shut up and let me drink my coffee, I have to be on stage in fifteen minutes,”

And God, but your head is way too scrambled for a panel right now. Fifteen minutes is nowhere close to enough time to get your shit together, and you’re going to have to somehow walk out there and not let everyone know.

You take a seat halfway across the room, watching Jared and Jensen still standing there, heads bowed together, arguing quietly about something. Jensen’s starting to wear an annoyed expression and he still manages to look beautiful and goddamnit this is how you got in trouble in the first place.

You scroll listlessly through your phone, a headache beginning behind your eyes, and freeze when you realize that you left the damn article open. The headline photo is a picture of you and Jensen on a sidewalk in L.A., caught mid-conversation with Jensen’s hand on your back and a stupid, dopey look on your face while you stare up at him like he hung the moon. Fuck, you’re an idiot.

A hasty scroll through the rest of the article reveals more of the same, and you could kick yourself for making your dumb crush so obvious. The photo captions are practically mocking you, labelled with things like “an intimate evening for Ackles and L/N” and, under a picture of the two of you at a beach, “We might be a little mad that the two most attractive people are together”.

Well, at least now you know what every single question at your panel is going to be about. And somehow you have to figure out how to play this off like it’s nothing. Of course I don’t have a crush the size of a mid-sized whale on Jensen, hahaha, that’s such a hilarious idea!

Your only saving grace is that clearly, Jensen doesn’t think anything of it. It’s nothing more than a brief joke to him and Jared, and as much as that should bring you relief, it still stings to know that he’s obviously never bothered to think of you that way. And why would he? For all Buzzfeed’s nonsense about you making an attractive couple, Jensen Ackles miles above your league.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by Misha sitting down next to you, an easy smile on his face as he nudges your shoulder with his own. “So, welcome to the club,”

Typically, you and Misha are pretty close friends, but your patience is too short this morning for any of his shit. “What club?” you shoot back grumpily.

“People who the internet have declared in love with Jensen Ackles,” Misha returns, grinning like it’s obvious.

“Ha, ha. See, except when that happens to you, people think it’s funny,”

“It is funny,”

“Not for me!” you explode, belatedly wincing at your harsh tone. “You and Jensen fuck around on stage and that works for you. If I don’t get my shit together in the next five minutes, I’m getting my name dragged through stupid tabloids and laughed straight off the show because I couldn’t keep my goddamn stupid pathetic crush under control!”

“Hey,” Misha waits until you meet his blue eyes. “That’s not going to happen. Okay? It’s not,”

“Misha--”

“Y/N,” Misha returns firmly. “It’s going to be okay. Jensen would never let anything happen to you. And you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to.”

You sigh softly, nodding. Rationally, you know he’s right. But mostly, as much as you’re worked up about the panel, your fear is that Jensen is going to be the one laughing at you, and you don’t know how to explain that. “Yeah,” you say dully, just as a convention worker comes forward to collect you.

“If it’s really going to shit, I’ll come distract everyone,”

“Somehow, I think that would be worse,” you shoot back over your shoulder as you start walking to the stage. Breathe, Y/N. You’re fine.

You wait for the introductions to finish and take your place on the stage, a slightly breathy laugh escaping into the mic as you look out at the crowd. That is a lot of eyes watching your every move. And they’re on your side, you remind yourself. It’s the fans who’ve been tireless supporters of you and your character, this whole time.

“Hey, guys,” you clear your throat. “What’s up?”

You chatter for a while about whatever you can think of, telling an edited version of the grumpy Starbucks man this morning and rambling a little about Jared’s latest on-set antics. All too quickly, though, you run out of things to say, leaving you with no choice but to ask for questions.

At first, to your great relief, they’re pretty tame. You spend a solid few minutes breaking down Sierra’s latest character arc, and the time she’s spending hunting on her own. You do get a few questions about whether she and Dean could get together when she gets back with the brothers, but as long as it stays firmly in the realm of your characters, you’re not worried.

“And what’s your name?” You ask gently, trying to reassure the nervous young woman at the microphone.

“Uh, Y/N…”

“I love that name!” you wink at her, rearranging yourself in the chair to be more comfortable. “What do you want to know, Y/N?”

“Uh,” she stutters, her face blushing pink. “You’re my favorite actress, and, I, um,”

“That’s very sweet,” you interject, nodding to encourage her.

“I just, uh, really want good things for you, and I just wanted to ask if, um, areyoureallydatingJensen?” she spits out all in one breath. “Cause you deserve him,”

You blink, shifting in your seat. You’d arrived at the elephant in the room. Damn.

“Uh,” escapes your mouth as you frantically try to construct a diplomatic sentence. “No, actually, no, we’re not.” I wish. “The, um, the article was a surprise to us too!” You added a little shrug in as punctuation, trying to play it off.

“But you guys look so cute together!” Other Y/N exclaims. “He looks at you like--” she cuts off, biting her lip so hard you can see the white from the stage. “Nevermind. Sorry.”

“No worries,” you assure her casually, like you’re not dying to know what she was going to say. “Next question?”

The next one up is another young woman, this time much bolder in her question. “But if you were given the opportunity, would you date Jensen Ackles?”

God, Chuck, literally anyone please kill me. “I don’t know how to answer this without getting in trouble,” you finally laugh nervously. “This is a dangerous question,”

The audience all laughs loudly, some of them throwing out comments and suggestions. “In the interests of not getting killed in my bed tonight,” you say lightly when they’ve quieted. “I’m going to skip that question,”

There’s really no saving you, though. After that first question, it’s like a dam has broken and everyone wants to know about your relationship with Jensen. What do you think of his house in Austin and does he cook for you and what do you do between takes and where’s your favorite place to go together. Someone even asks if you’re hooking up even if you’re not dating, which you’re positive turns your face completely purple before you get through redirecting that fan.

An hour later, you stagger off the stage mentally exhausted and thoroughly grumpy.

“Ouch,” Briana sympathizes, sliding up beside you as you grab a water bottle in the green room.

“Can’t wait for my dumb red face to trend on Tumblr,” you mutter, wondering darkly if you could just jump out one of the windows.

Briana laughs like she knows something you don’t, and rubs a hand over your back soothingly. “Come on, let’s get you out of your head before your photos,”

The two of you end up on a walk a few blocks from the convention hotel, fresh coffees in hand and Briana chattering away while you nod along. It’s not that you’re tuning her out, exactly, you’re just...overwhelmed. You do, however, notice when she stops talking.

“Are you listening to me?” she looks at you sharply.

“Sorry, B,” you mumble. “Got distracted. What?”

Briana shakes her head with loving exasperation. “I asked what you’re wearing to karaoke tonight,”

“I’m probably not going to--” you start.

“Oh, no you don’t. You can’t leave me there alone,” Briana interrupts, folding her arms across her chest.

“What do you mean, alone? Kim and Rich and literally everyone will be there,”

“You are not allowed to skip karaoke.” Briana says firmly, and you suddenly know how her daughter must feel when she’s misbehaved. “Besides, Jensen’s singing with Louden Swain beforehand. Don’t you want to see it?”

“Fine. But I’m wearing this,” you gesture to your plain black top and jeans. To be honest, you’re not sure if you actually do want to see Jensen perform, or bother with the rest of karaoke night. Mostly you just want to crawl into bed and put the covers over your head and pretend that you haven’t been making a fool of yourself all morning, but Briana is a force of nature when she wants something.

She smiles excitedly at your acquiescence, pulling out her phone for a moment to type something before you start heading back.

You nudge her teasingly with your elbow. “Your phone more exciting than me?”

Briana just slides it away hastily before you can read more than Jared’s name over her shoulder. “Just taking care of something.”

There’s something she’s not telling you, but you don’t feel like digging right now. You’re just focusing on getting to the end of this convention without spilling all your secrets and looking like an idiot.

By the time you’re sitting down in the seats for Louden Swain’s set, your face is indeed all over Tumblr. (You always deny having the stupid app, but sometimes a girl’s gotta know what people are saying about her and her hot costars.) There’s comments full of stupid speculation that you’re hiding your relationship, including a whole thread about how you’re clearly hiding your secret threesome with Jensen and Misha. Great.

“Uh, okay,” a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Jensen’s on stage in front of the microphone, holding his guitar. “This was not part of my original plan, so...if this goes badly, it’s all Jared and Briana’s fault.”

The crowd laughs good-naturedly as your gaze snaps immediately to Briana. Infuriatingly, your friend just shrugs.

“This is a cover of a song neither of us wrote,” Jensen continues, gesturing between himself and Louden Swain behind him. “But I thought it could be fitting,”

He’s nervous, you realize, watching the way he’s fiddling with his guitar strap while he talks. But you have no idea what he’s doing. And you have no idea why he didn’t tell you. The two of you always know what stupid thing the other person is planning, especially stunts in front of the fans. But clearly not this time. With a sinking sense of dread, you wonder if maybe he does hate you a little bit after today, and that article. Maybe that’s why he’s not talking to you. You swallow hard against the sting in your throat, and Jensen starts playing.

The opening chords are definitely from a country song you vaguely recognize from the radio, and you wonder why this is Jensen’s choice over one of his own songs.

“Girl, you know I've known you forever / How many nights we hung out together,”

Across the room, Briana has an enormous smile on her face.

“My boys are laughing and tap me on the shoulder / Making a motion like, ‘Could y'all get any closer?’” He punctuates the words with a little scowl in Jared’s direction.

“There's a rumor going 'round about me and you / Stirring up our little town the last week or two / So tell me why we even trying to deny this feeling / I feel it, don't you feel it too? / There's a rumor going 'round, and 'round, and 'round / What d'you say we make it true?”

There are a lot of people suddenly making noise around you as they come to the same realization that you are, but you’re frozen in your seat. The rumor is you. He’s talking about you. Jensen’s singing for you. And you should be elated but your mind is stuck on a loop of what the fuck there’s no way this is real.

You don’t even realize that the song is over until everyone is clapping and you’re still stuck staring with embarrassingly wide eyes, Jensen up on stage with an embarrassed dusting of red across his face and a slowly deflating expression.

“Hey,” Jared’s elbow digs hard into your ribs suddenly. “Please do something. I can’t take any more of him like this,”

“What--oh--shit!” spills out of your mouth as you stand hastily, your phone tumbling off your lap. “I’m just gonna--”

By some miracle, you make it through the crush of people and around to the backstage area, your heart racing unevenly in your chest. You have no idea what you’re supposed to say, or if Jensen will be there, or if you’re even interpreting this right. Maybe it’s all just wishful thinking. No, Jared wouldn’t have encouraged you if that were true. Would he?

You’re so lost in your thoughts that you end up plowing straight into Jensen’s chest, his arm sliding automatically around your waist as you wobble off balance. “Shit, I’m sorry!”

He steadies you, green eyes searching your face with a flicker of vulnerability. “Hey,”

“Hey,” you whisper back. You have no idea what happens now.

With his free hand, Jensen rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Look, if that was too much--”

“No!” you shake your head quickly. “I’m sorry, I was just...processing. I...it was really sweet, Jen,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you confirm. “I just… me? Are you sure?”

“Why not you?” Jensen’s face wrinkles in confusion. He moves both hands to your waist, the warmth of his skin bleeding through your thin shirt as he tugs you closer. “Y/N,”

There’s something in you screaming that you might not get to do this again, that he’s going to come to his senses, that the whole thing is a dream, and before you can second guess yourself you launch yourself up onto your tiptoes and kiss him.

Your arms go around his neck while Jensen wraps you up tighter against his chest and it’s not fireworks, or earth shattering, or anything so dramatic. His mouth moving against yours just feels like home and love and of course. Of course you were going to get here, of course it was going to be like this.

Jensen lifts you off your feet for a moment before breaking the kiss, and he looks just breathless and flushed enough that you’re equal parts proud and turned on.

“Of course it’s you,” he murmurs, one hand under your chin to tilt your head up to him. “Of course I love you. You’re my best friend.”

------

Something ate my taglist! If you want to be tagged, please message me!

#supernatural #jensen ackles #supernatural rpf #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #spn #rpf #x reader #reader insert #oneshot

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adamwatchesmovies · 4 years ago

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The Best of 2020

Better late, than never. I enjoy seeing other people’s top-10 lists and I said I’d do one for 2020, so here we go. I haven’t had the chance to watch EVERYTHING I wanted to, but you’ve got to pull the trigger at some point. When the Academy Awards took place on Sunday, I felt like I hadn’t seen ANYTHING nominated but I could remember dozens of times where I felt like I wasted my precious minutes with cinematic detritus. I assumed putting this list together would be easy. It wasn’t. I’ve got a lot of runner ups but for now, here are my Top 10 “Best” (by which I kind of mean my favorite) movies of 2020:

10. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always gave me a lot to think about. On the surface, it's about a teenager who has to travel outside of her hometown to get an abortion, but it could've been any kind of procedure she's uncomfortable (or unable) asking her parents for. It's about the lengths she has to go to when her main source of support is cut off. You feel uneasy throughout, wondering what lengths the girls will have to resort through and whether something horrible is just around the corner. For this reason, I think many parents would find the film enriching.

9. Mank

I haven’t posted my review of Mank yet - just haven't had the time so consider my star rating for it "spoiled". If you don't know, it's about Herman J. Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) and the time he wrote Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. I can’t call Citizen Kane one of my favorite films, but I do often think of it. The story, the characters, specific shots, the overall look, etc. Every time I revisit it in my memory, my appreciation for it grows and in a way, Mank helps complete my relationship with the film. For that reason, I foresee myself revisiting Mank in the future - probably as part of a double-bill. I’d love to see it enough times to memorize some of Gary Oldman’s best lines.

8. One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami addresses the present while being set in the past but something about it clicked with me more than Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. It's essentially a series of long conversations, the kinds that force you to really examine tough questions and see these legendary figures as normal people. Unlike Mank, it isn't so much the individual lines that stand out, it's more the vibes you get from the exchanges. Out of all the movies on this list, it's probably got the best ensemble cast.

7. Sound of Metal

I'm sure you've seen that clip from Un Chien Andalou where an eye gets sliced with a razor? It gives me the willies just thinking about it because if I were blind I wouldn't be able to watch movies or draw. In Sound of Metal, we're dealing with a career cut short because of deafness but the dots are easy to connect. I immediately connected with this movie, which made its ending feel like a punch in the gut.

6. Tenet

I keep telling myself that I won’t love a movie Christopher Nolan directs just because his name is attached to it. Hopefully, this doesn't make me a fanboy, despite my falling for pretty much everything he's released. I love how ambitious Tenet is. The plot is so complicated but then again it isn't because once you're able to grok the mechanics of its reverse-entropy technology, you'll probably figure out most of the plot's mysteries. For me, that was the fun part. It felt good to see my understanding of the story and theories confirmed. I'll be watching it again once groups can gather so my friends and I can discuss everything in detail.

5. Trial of the Chicago Seven

I know The Trial of the Chicago Seven fudges history in ways certain people would say is irredeemable but I never go into a film “based on true events” assuming liberties won’t be taken. At the end of the day, I care about being entertained. My enjoyment was also amplified by the fact that I didn't know what the verdicts would be - my American history is spotty, at best. It's got laughs, outrage, drama, and inspirational moments. Aside from romance, you've got pretty much all the bases covered.

4. Palm Springs

Out of all the pleasant surprises of 2020, Palm Springs was the biggest. I thought the Groundhog Day thing was played out and the 0-star-worthy Love Wedding Repeat did nothing to convince me otherwise. Then, this movie comes along and does everything you want in one of those movies, and then some. Not only did Palm Springs give me the romantic comedy I'd been craving for (feels like we haven't gotten a good one since "Crazy Rich Asians" it also examines what love and relationships mean through smartly written metaphors.

3. Possessor

No, I didn’t put this movie on the list just because it’s Canadian; Possessor is on this list because it’s the most unsettling movie of 2020. I mean that in a good way. I've already talked about how unsettling the premise is but it's also the execution. Those bizarre “dream” scenes with the different identities merging in unnatural ways is unforgettable. That mask of Tasya's face, half-melted is already creepy enough, when worn by Christopher Abbott as he re-enacts her memories is just so weird it makes you wonder if you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing, or if you’re going mad. Then, there's that shot with the fingers at the end! Makes me wince just thinking about it.

2. Soul

During the Oscars, I get a little mad at Pixar. They effortlessly churn out these masterpieces that mean no other studio has a chance of winning an Academy Award for the Best Animated Film category. It makes me wonder if the voters even bother to watch the competition but I don't think anyone could argue against Soul. It's among their best films. It’s gorgeous, profound, and modern without showcasing any issues that might flush your day down the toilet.

Runner-Ups:

Enola Holmes

I never believed Enola Holmes would end up on my "Best of the Year" list but this movie is a lot of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Just wanted to remind you.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) I was disappointed when audiences didn’t seem interested in Birds of Prey. Seeing Margot Robbie go all-out and given a script that actually makes good use of her character was lots of fun. I also found it refreshing to see a superhero movie (not really, but kind of) that didn’t involve a plot to destroy the world, upheaval all of civilization, or shoot a giant beam into the sky. I think this is one people will discover down the line and go “why didn’t I go see this in theaters when it was playing?”

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm I’m not 100% in love with Borat 2 but boy am I looking forward to showing it to people who have no idea what’s coming. That scene with Rudy Guliani might not have the same impact down the line as it did when I first saw this sequel, but that’s ok. It’ll still have you picking your jaw off the floor.

Nomadland It’s a great movie and I might’ve put it on my list of the best… but I just don’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon. Great movie though. It deserves every accolade you see directed towards it. Chloé Zhao is shaping up to be a major talent. While before I might’ve said “Eternals who?” Now, I’m excited.

The Vast of Night Until I saw Possessor, this was my favorite horror film of 2020. I love the way this movie does so much without showing anything. It’s all about letting your imagination do the work.

Hamilton I’m still unsure how I feel about the casting in Hamilton. Everyone does a terrific job. I understand why actors of color were chosen to portray the historical figures we meet during this story. It still doesn't sit 100% comfortable with me. Then again, who can argue with those results? I’ve seen the movie twice and the songs are still playing in my head.

1. Promising Young Woman

I only had so much before this post went up. Enough for one more movie. It was a tossup between The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, and Promising Young Woman. As you can imagine, I’m pretty satisfied with the choice I made. Writer/director Emerald Fennell takes the rape-revenge genre and reshapes it into something that feels completely new. Like many of the other films on this list, it also feels relevant to what’s going on today. There are many reasons why I could’ve given it this slot. The writing, the performances, the way it puts your stomach in knots as you wonder what’s going to happen next, the pitch-perfect ending… but I’m going to pick a more personal reason. I try to look at films as snapshots of when they were made. There’s a part of me that winces when I look at Gone with the Wind but I’m also able to take a step back and say “but other than that…” and then just enjoy the movie. In Promising Young Woman, the past is confronted in a way that made me pause and think about two movies on my shelf: Wedding Crashers and American Pie. The Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy, in particular, has a lot of questionable bits of comedy, bits made even more eyebrow-raising by the fact that it isn't an "old" movie whose entire cast is now dead. Let’s just say that when a movie makes me go “This movie is replacing X”, makes me think this hard about things, and does everything else you want in a thriller… it’ll stick in your head for a long time. That's why I'm calling it the best/my favorite movie of the year.

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doomonfilm · 4 years ago

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Ranking : David Lynch (1946-present)

Film is definitely an art, and yet, it seems to be distinct from other forms of visual art such as painting or sculpture. Perhaps that is what makes David Lynch such a fascinating director, as he has the ability to tap into the surreal stimulus often found in the most famous paintings and transform it into brain-bending moments on film. Whether it his fear-fueled fascination with fatherhood present in his debut film Eraserhead, his ruminations on Hollywood society present in Inland Empire, or any of the stopping points in-between, it’s safe to say that David Lynch sits in the rarified air of directors like Ingmar Bergman, Alejandro Jodorowsky and the other few who can turn film into something deeper, more visceral and more meaningful.

With one of the most unique collections of films credited to his name, including a couple of curveballs in the early portion of his career, ranking the films of David Lynch is as perplexing as it is entertaining... so, without further ado, we attempt to climb that hill. I’m not even going to pretend that I can break down all of the symbolism and meanings of these films, but I can give my honest opinion about them.

10. Dune (1984) For a film that is supposed to be such a science-fiction gem, it’s a bit funny that nobody can seem to make a coherent, entertaining version of Dune. After nearly 15 years in pre-production hell (and three iconic names attached to versions of the production), the film landed in the laps of Dino De Laurentiis and Ridley Scott, but after another extended period delaying production, Scott bowed out, leaving the door open for David Lynch to step in. For what it’s worth, he did bring a huge list of names to the project, but the fact that the directing credit for Dune belongs to the throwaway pseudonym Alan Smithee should clue in any perceptive viewer that the project may not be one that Lynch cares to stand behind.

9. Inland Empire (2006) David Lynch isn’t the type of director that revisit ground he’s already covered, which is what makes Inland Empire (the seemingly final film from Lynch) such a confusing choice. Had this film not been released after a five year gap between it and the stellar Mullholland Drive, another film that focuses on the dark underbelly of Hollywood, fame and the tolls of the acting craft, perhaps it would hit a little different to me. That’s not to say that the film isn’t good, as it is definitely a slight adjustment from the style that Lynch basically trademarked, but when a director like Lynch experiments on what feels like general principle, it makes experiments that feel like a step backward lose impact.

8. Lost Highway (1997) Technically, you could count all of the Lynch “mystery” films as noir in some capacity, but Lost Highway feels like a direct skewing of what we know as the traditional noir structure. At its core, the film is a simple murder mystery, but it doesn’t take long for the Lynch signatures to begin appearing in every form from a mysterious, unnamed character to our protagonist literally changing into another person with no base explanation provided. Perhaps the latter choice was a look into split personalities and the disassociated nature that can come with brutal crimes... as I said before, I’m not here to try and decode the David Lynch mystery. While Lost Highway serves as a good entry point into the David Lynch catalog, it sits on the back half of the rankings due to no fault of its own... it’s more of a situation where the other mysteries are so stellar, that even the strange seems simplistic by comparison.

7. The Straight Story (1999) If you played a game of “one of these things is not like the other” with the films of David Lynch, it would not be difficult to make a winning choice, as The Straight Story is clearly the most accessible and standard of all the Lynch fare. What the film lacks in oddness and style, however, is more than made up for in terms of heart and performance. The use of a lawnmower as the main source of travel allows for some beautiful landscape cinematography, and the sheer force of will exhibited by Richard Farnsworth pays off in spades when he is reunited with Harry Dean Stanton. If you’re looking for something creepy, eclectic and mind-warping from Lynch, there are plenty of other films to choose from, but if you are looking for an excuse to shed a tear or two, this is the film for you.

6. The Elephant Man (1980) It’s funny to think that if not for The Straight Story, the Joseph Merrick biopic The Elephant Man would serve as the most normal film of the Lynch canon. This sophomore film dialed back on the abstractions present in Eraserhead, but it brought some extraordinary makeup and costuming to the table, not to mention it gifted viewers with a powerfully moving performance from John Hurt. Though memorable in its own right, the film really made its mark by tying Raging Bull at the 53rd Academy Awards, garnering eight nominations (and sadly losing in all categories, going home empty-handed). The backlash for the Academy’s lack of giving The Elephant Man special praise for its makeup effects also led to the creation of a Best Makeup award for the Oscars. It is quite possible that the combination of shock from Eraserhead in tandem with the skill and prowess shown in The Elephant Man opened all of the creative control doors for David Lynch, as not even Dune could derail his career and artistic oddness.

5. Blue Velvet (1986) While Twin Peaks is where I first heard the name David Lynch, it was Blue Velvet where I first got a taste of why Lynch was held in such high regard. The suburban paradise presented in the opening credits is immediately shattered by the discovery of a random ear, and the weirdness rabbit-hole gets deeper and deeper from that point on. The classic look of the film stands in powerfully beautiful contrast to the extreme darkness of the narrative, and Dennis Hopper turned it all the way up to 11 for his performance in the film. If Lost Highway serves as the best introductory film for those curious about Lynch, then Blue Velvet serves as a good midpoint to determine how much weirdness, abrasiveness and shock you can handle in a Lynch film.

4. Mulholland Drive (2001) I really and truly do not know where to begin with this insane rollercoaster ride of a film. The first time I watched this film, I thought I had everything figured out, every mystery solved and every bait and switch identified, but upon repeat viewings of Mullholland Drive, I’ve determined that I either had a brief moment of harmonic brilliance or I was fooling myself. The film makes sense at its root, if really and truly dissected, but when taken at face value and in real time, it’s almost impossible not to get completely lost in the sheer immersive nature of everything thrown at you. Naomi Watts is brilliant as the viewer guide through the film, and it’s good that she is so powerful in her lead role and guiding task, because Mullholland Drive is not afraid to get downright bonkers on more than one occasion. While films about the trappings of Hollywood and stardom are nothing new, I’m hard pressed to think of another film that approaches these in a manner even remotely close to that of Mullholland Drive.

3. Wild at Heart (1990) Quite possibly the most enjoyable of all the David Lynch films, despite some downright brutal moments of celebratory violence sprinkled throughout. The combination of Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern is nothing short of electric, and the presence of Willem Dafoe as antagonist is the perfect spark to ignite an already volatile mixture of leads. The energy level of this film starts on ten and only continues to rise as the film progresses. If/when I ever get the chance to program theater showings, I am putting this film on a double bill with Natural Born Killers immediately. While I can’t say that Wild at Heart is my favorite David Lynch film, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it’s my favorite Lynch film to gush about with other fans.

2. Eraserhead (1977) More often than not, directors the caliber of David Lynch have stunning debut films to their name, and Lynch certainly exploded onto the scene with a gamebreaker in the form of Eraserhead. Upon first viewing, there is enough “WTF?!” going on to confuse most people, but for those brave enough to watch the film more than once, it becomes painfully obvious that all of the madness and shocking imagery on display is a clear metaphor for Lynch’s fear of fatherhood. The simple act of taking a fear that resonates with most humans and turning it into the equivalent of a black and white bad drug trip works perfectly, and Jack Nance’s iconic look and performance are almost recognizable enough to know without knowledge of the film. Eraserhead is one of those films that leaves you different than you were prior to watching it.

1. Twin Peaks : Fire Walk with Me (1992) In all honesty, was there every any doubt that Twin Peaks : Fire Walk with Me wouldn’t be in the top spot? Of all the properties that the David Lynch name is connected to, none of them have even come remotely close to touching the sheer size of the lore and fandom that has emerged from this modern day masterpiece. The story of the high school princess with deep, dark secrets to hide is not new territory, but the way that Lynch handles it all with Twin Peaks takes the familiar to all new realms of weirdness, including the creation of iconic places and characters like the Black Lodge, the Log Lady, the production mistake that created the infamous Bob, and the eternally iconic Laura Palmer, and oh yeah, the film’s not half bad either. I doubt that David Lynch ever had any intention of reaching the heights of fame that Twin Peaks : Fire Walk with Me afforded him, but it would be dumb to think that he isn’t impressed with the magnitude of the world he created based on that single idea for a film.

#ChiefDoomsday #DOOMonFILM #DavidLynch #Eraserhead #TheElephantMan #Dune #BlueVelvet #WildAtHeart #TwinPeaksFireWalkWithMe #LostHighway #TheStraightStory #MullhollandDrive #InlandEmpire

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