#enjoy this long post XD

[tale-of-two-queens]

Small concepts of magic

I just got my lower teeth braces on, and my upper braces adjusted. I am a bit dizzy, so I'll try to make an easier type of post before I finished the sketch I was doing last night.

So, I decided to just sit around and brain rot into exploring the magic system into the show and think more about into how the magic actually works and a small difference within Wizards and Sorcerers and other cultures perhaps (as they are the only different type of witch in the show, and is imply that they do magic differently. They are from the same word but I guess the world building is implying they are different due to wands, but I'll try my best to make a difference)

The elements of magic would be too big of a subject to explain alone, and I don't have everything down yet, but do feel free to bring down ideas or ask questions.

Overview:

Magic is a powerful source that is drawn by the fourth elements: Fire, Earth, Air, and water. They all co-exists in harmony and have different variants and creatures (E.i: mythical Creatures like fairies, rock monsters, and in technicality the Chanus, tho they fall more into the spiritual type, but you get the point.) Each element has its own branches depending on the different type of uses or how they were created (E.I healing herbs and poison). There are also mixes of these elements with unique set magic that can have some major power depending on the source, hence why crystals are considered powerful due to being a mix of fire and earth magic (Takaìna is powerful due to being filled with magic that is both from Earth and Fire, due to how crystals are formed.) Although this type of magic is powerful, a balance to be reached or it would become harder to wield (more in other sections.)

Magic used by magic users depends, but it's usually from a middle and neutral ground. Some magic users tend to lean more towards a certain branch, but it depends on their culture (E.I: Satu's magic most likely delivers more into the earth/water and spiritual type of magic, whereas more eastern like culture based themselves more into the fire type of magic or the neutral one.) It all depends on the culture and respective kingdoms and the level of importance magic withholds.

In some cases, there are kingdoms/empires where magic is mostly used as an accessible tool and is thought as basic knowledge but it is not furthered down unless it is about teaching upcoming magic users. Other kingdoms/empires don't rely much on magic, so it is not taught, but do have a royal witch/wizard/magic withholder in charge; some are less adamant into having one, as other cultures may not be as connected with magic, or rely on other forms of magical protection. There are also kingdoms/empires that are more tied with magic, but is treated as a thing of quite importance or a very sacred thing (This is where the spiritual type of magic comes to be the strongest)

Although the witches, wizards, warlocks, and sorceress are, arguably, considered to be synonyms, in cultures they are particular different from one another and many thaumaturgists believe there is a possibility of major differences. Magic User is considered a neutral term.

Status of magic users

The status of a magic user really depends on where they are, the culture they are on, sometimes but rare their societal status, their level of magic maestry, and in small cases their blood status (this goes deep into the more traditional cultures.)

Royal wizards/witches/magic users are the highest ranking wizards (unless one is an actual ruler, like in the Northern Islands with Empress Sokushi). They are usually chosen due to these factors or qualifications (number of placement does not matter FYI):

Family. - Normally, the tittle is an inherited title. If a magic user has a family (as it's preferred but not an obligated), it is their duty to train and prepare the next magic user that will take their place. If a magic user does not have a family, they will help the king chose.

Power - Most rulers would prefer more skilled magic users, but there are rulers who want a powerful magic user to assist in protection. What is considered a powerful magic user varies and is up to definition.

Skill - Skill is one of the biggest requirements for a magic user to enter the royal wizard/witch/magic user title. Rulers will pick out the best and the most skilled users

Magic proficiency- The best of the best usually can control magic with ease and smoothly cast their spells without any issues at all. Magic for a proficient magic user is like using a day-to-day tool.

Knowledge- Knowledge constantly grows and expands, but another of the big requirements is to at least have some good knowledge about all four elements of magic and the most important branches of it. A magic user is expected to expand their knowledge of magic.

Loyalty - This is more of an ought, but loyalty is an important aspect for rules when picking their magic users, they want to be sure that their magic users will always stay by their side

Shaman- This is a thing that mostly depends on the culture, for example in more spiritual leaning regions, magic users work as advisors or spiritual aids to Rulers to advise them and help them. I am not sure where this type of culture would fall, so feel free to drop ideas.

Although the royal magic user tittle (I legit I don't know a less awkward way to call it) is considered one of the highest tittles, in other cultures or places being a magic user is already a highly respected profession and is usually tied with some high status, but it does vary based on what the cultures believe a powerful wizard is.

We don't know much about the Northern Islands, outside that Shuriki was from there and was a sort of powerful figure from what Craig Gerber said, but this is my take on the Islands based on what we know about Shuriki's character. The Northern Islands is the best example into sorcery being highly respected and being considered to be in an upper level (but that varies from the different islands subcultures, but magic in general is a super important thing.) Sorcerer and Sorcerers are highly educated and talented individuals with magic. I'll make a session dedicated to a bit of the Avalorian Magic system and the Northern Island type of system.

In other cultures, for example like tropical kingdoms as Avalor and Paraiso, wizards (I guess enchantress is the female variation, but wizard is neutral too) it is not rare or unusual to see magic being fractionate, but magic is more of a cultural thing and something that represents them. So, it is often respected (not in the level of the Northern Islands type of respect), but is rather more of a job with different variations (the highest being a royal wizard)

In other cultures, as mentioned before, there is the spiritual and guidance type of magic users. Their roles work mostly as guides, as magic does allow users (or people that happened to hold some magic) to see spirits both good or bad. So, this is where the spiritual magic branching (which I am unsure where to categorize, but I'll say maybe in the hybrid types of magic) comes from. Spiritual magic users are more focus into magic connections to the spirit worlds, but also using their magic to seal and protect evil spirits. Generally they are considered to be high level magic users, but they don't really take their status as important since their main goal is protection.

In other cultures, magic or wizards are considered not a welcoming force, or some waste of time, so it is not often encouraged or welcomed.

Wizards vs Sorcerers (Small mention of other magical users too)

Look, EOA confuses me to no end about what the hell is the difference from sorcerers and wizards, and wands vs Tamboritas. So, this will be my best take into trying to make sense of how does this work as they legit have a sorceress character who wasn't even allowed to do magic because...well she didn't have a freaking wand and we just got to see her use like 3 spells excluding the magical Botox XD (I won't take the she was just lazy or is not that powerful excuse, the show never allowed her to show more cool spells but she legit is a very skillful and resourceful fighter. It frustrates me to no end how much they show just wasted her character. Anyways, small rant aside the small rant aside-) oh and we also had an ancient sorceress but...she didn't do much outside creating animal monsters (and I'll be real, she was a bland character in my opinion)I know STF has some magic as well but...this will make things harder to work on than it is. I am aware it is the same universe, but I am leaning towards Elena of Avalor (mostly because this is more about the show's magic system + I want to avoid migraines and not take too much at once)

So wizards and witches, as I mentioned before, are arguably synonyms from each other (as the words sorta share the same term) the show makes it sorta clear that is a different thing as we have wizards, malvagos, and sorceress (plural) and apparently they are different from each other, mostly into how they do magic which was never explored, so this is the section where I try to make a sense of things. I swear that I tried to get some info into the difference within them, but it is a bit confusing, so this is my best take in trying to differentiate them because well...the show sure did not!

Although the terms of Wizard, witches, enchantress, sorcerer, warlocks, etc…are close into the branch of magic, some cultures tend to embrace different names identities. It all depends on the culture, but it is believed that these names are also tied within how the magic is practiced or acquire. It all depends on the cultural names, but the titles are abroad.

Wizards is a term used for someone who crafts and learned how to use magic. Most wizards were not born particularly within magical abilities (but some do, but it depends on the culture.) Most wizards use magical artifacts to craft from well one or some of the elements of magic (like tamboritas being crafted from magical crystals)

Sorcerers are individuals who were born with magic (in other cultures they can be trained, but mostly they are considered magical beings) Normally, sorcerers use staffs or wands, but unlike wizards (who use their magical artifacts to do magic) they use their artifacts to channel their own magic or to maintain a magical balance. Sorcerers can channel a bit of their own magic, but this is a rare and harder type of magic that other magical users can do with ease (but in a sense this would be more about witches and spirit channeler type of magic users.)

There are other types of magical users like those who use their magic using a spiritual familiar like a fox or snake (slowly working on figuring out how it would work), use seals as a form of "magic" (but is mostly as an exorcism type of ting). There are also Warlocks who make a pact with magic itself to get their powers (is in the form of a ritual or cultures that are linked with magic) We also have witches who are magic users that don't require any sort of artifact to channel their magic, but often their powers can be limited due to the magic balance. Enchantress also exists, but they are more link towards being part of the familiar branch of Fairies (magical creatures) whose magic is more linked towards the air and fire elements (example the Enchantress from "Beauty and the Beast")

Anyways, wizard and sorcerers in a sense are closely related and are about the same level of power, but their studies differ depending on certain factors. Sorcerers focus more into spell casting as well as potion making (which requires their use of magic), but their major studies are about channeling magic. Wizard studies focus more into learning new ways to expand the way they do magic, and some work closely to working with one of the elements of magic. Their major studies are usually related to ancient magic history.

Some similarities within them, is that both heavily rely on an artifact to do their magic. They of course have different spells and do magic differently, but overall they need an artifact to do their magic spells. Also, some wizard and sorceress take interest into the crystal channeling or have some knowledge about crystals and its magic. Only individuals who are magical by birth or have magic inside them can fully channel the magic or naturally absorb it as magic is like energy. It can be moved but never destroyed.

Also, sorcerers and wizards cannot interchange wands or tamboritas (more into that) this is more about the inner magic and magical bond one has with their respected artifacts. Sorcerer and wizard magic is different, since Sorcerers only channel their magic, wizards "make" their magic.

There are also dark sorcerers and wizards. Most notorious in kingdoms like Avalor or Paraiso, these are called Malvagos.

Wizards vs Malvagos

One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to show writing is the whole light= good and darkness= bad. This is not the case, and there is not such thing as good or bad magic. Magic comes with different sides, which includes a darker type of magic that is actually leans into the really dark practices (which can be used for good things) as the light type of magic that focus on a lighter type of practices (that can be still be used for evil things.)

Wizards is a term that reflects into the users that prefer to work on the light spectrum of magic, and refuse to work or touch the dark practices. There are those who play into a middle ground, but that requires skill and balance (this is mostly seen used by the shaman type of wizards.) Anyways, wizards usually tend to be good people who use magic for good, there are exceptions who use the magic for evil.

Malvago is a term that reflect into users that prefer to work in the darker spectrum of magic, or/and has no interest or refused to work into the lighter side of magic. These users are mostly the type of evil wizards who use their magic for evil. Some Malvagos use their dark magic for good, but usually don't prefer to be called a Malvago as is a play on words of Mal/malvado (evil, or wicked in Spanish) and mago (mage/wizard in Spanish), so some just go with magic users or spell casters.

Now, malvagos and wizards can use either side of magic, but is harder for them due to using the opposite side of the spectrum, so majority doesn't see it as worthy. Others do take the opportunity to change their branches of magic. So Malvagos can become wizards, and wizards can become Malvagos.

I'll say that practicing darker magic is harder due to the real harm or messed up stuff in some of the studies and spells it can do are messed up. This is mostly why Shaman type of wizards believe in maintaining a certain balance as one side can be heavier than the other.

Malvagos can channel their magic into other individuals and turn them into malvagos, but then they'll have to be trained to be a proper malvago. Wizards can do the same, but it requires full maestry (something that Mateo didn't have when he took Olivia)

The magic spectrum, Tamboritas, and wands

I'll talk more a bit into the magic spectrum. Each element, their branches, and the mix elements have their unique set of uses, and well misuses (but that doesn't mean necessarily dark magic) as well as a spectrum into what magical energy can be channeled.

The magic spectrum is some sort of light to dark value. We have the lightest side the darkest side, each containing certain levels of magic that can be a slightly darker or lighter. It all depends on which side of the spectrum, but to make it easier to understand:

The light to lighter grays is the type of magic that we usually see the protagonists or wizards like Mateo use

The darker grays to dark is the type of magic we usually see malvagos like Fiero using.

The grays are spells that are a bit harder to categorize, but usually are in the middle. Some lean more towards the darker types of magic and some lean more towards the lighter expectrum.

Darker magic tends to be more wild than light magic, so it's normally the hardest one to practice that requires skills and power to tame.

Since sorcerers are born with magic, they usually can go back and forth within using the light and dark spells, but to some extent. Darker spells require lots of power and special skills rather than light magic, as darker magic is wilder, so just as wizards and Malvagos, each take their preference into what type of magic they will master.

There are few cases where some chose to do a mix of both (which is my headcannon into Shuriki's spells knowledge), but it requires lots of discipline and skill. This is sorta taught to sorcerers in the Northern Islands.

Ok, with the whole magic spectrum out of the way, let's dive into the tamboritas and wands!

Tamboritas, as in the show's cannon, are carved by wood and use a crystal called "Chispas" to properly help wizards channel the crystal's magic. Tamboritas come in some variety and can be used by other wizards only (Sorcerers cannot use them as their magic will reject them). These are considered practice/training tamboritas.

There are personal tamboritas, but these are bonded to their owners just as wands are (this will be explained a bit into the next session.) It is normal for a wand or tamborita to refuse to work for another user, as the magic has formed a link within their user. If the object is destroyed, then the magical bond is set free and returns to original state.

Wands come from different variety. There are of course the training wands for sorcerers in training, and the personal wands that sorcerers use. In some cultures and regions wands are crafter by sorcerers or other magical entities and gifted to sorcerers who complete their training. Usually, Sorcerers are the ones to create their own wands (Which is a tradition in the Northern Islands.)

Tamboritas and Wands have their own different set of spells. Tamboritas use the knowledge that is more focused on Maruvian ancient scriptures, while wands use magic and scriptures from dead long languages like Latin. Since wands channel their owner's inner magic, they cannot share their magical bond like wizards of Malvagos do because they rely more of the "Chispa."

Balance and magical bonding

There is a phenomenon in magic, that usually is tied with people born with magic or people who happened to hold magic (like in Elena's case, who absorbed some of the magic from the amulet), this phenomenon does occur to wizards and Malvagos as they form a link with the magic they use. This phenomenon is called "Magical Bonding" (so original, I know XD) which refers to a user's own magic bonding with the individual.

They are familiar bonds, which are basically family magic bonds that allow in certain cases magical artifacts to be shared. This can derive from family through blood or the artifact sharing the same place of creation.

So, the link forced within an artifact with a user will respond to that user only. This is some of the natural ways magic itself creates balance within the users and itself. It gives the opportunity for users to practice and form a strong bond with the type of magic they use, but they will be tied to it unless the artifact is destroyed, and it will take a while for them to reconnect.

Bonds can be forged but they are rare and hard to achieve.

Some bonds vary, as training tamboritas or wands tend to have a weaker magic link, so anyone can truly use them with proper training. Personal Tamboritas and wands (as well as other artifacts) have a stronger magical bond, so they will only respond to their respective owner, or a type of familiar bond if a magic user's artifact was created from the same source (hence why Esteban could use scepter)

This was the case with Ash and Elena with the scepter of light. Elena's magic and the scepter magic formed a strong magical bond, so the scepter only responded to Elena herself and rejected Ash's magic but not Esteban's because:

The magic does take a bit of a small part, but usually crystal magic is powerful that tends to reject any other sort of user unless the artifact or magic share a familiar bond.

The bond it had with Elena, rejected Ash's magic.

Magic has a natural balance, so light and dark magic cannot take big leaps that easily, so this is also why the scepter refused Ash.

Shuriki's Scepter of night is a rarer case. Magic has different branches, but not every branch of magic can easily connect, specially if the magic is from different cultures, which tends to result into a crash as not every artifact or magic can be simply mixed and matched (another set of magical balance) The scepter of night was broken down by Alcazar, so the magical bond within was released. After Shuriki got the scepter, she formed a magical bond that gave her access to the Maru magic, something that she can do, but it requires a powerful source as the link within the magic is not as powerful due to her inherit magic sorta not getting along with the scepter's magic, which explains why she had a harder time and had a weaker use of the scepter.

Anyways, magical balance is basically give and take. If you ever want to use magic, you will have to give up time to make a link, and if it disappears then you will have to do it again. If a sorcerer's wand is destroyed, some spells will get reversed. The scepters work exactly like that, also because the greater the magic the created to drawn. So the users will have to give up their own energy in other to balance out the greater magic they use.

Northern Island's magic and Maru (Magic often found in Avalor), and Crystal magic

This will be the final portion, as this was a bit exhausting to write, but the later three would be concepts that I would want to explore the most in my AU but also in my ideas in general XD

So let's start with the crystal magic. As I mentioned from the beginning, Crystal magic is a mixed magic within the elements of Fire and Earth. Since is a mix, crystals make great powerful sources, specially if they are bigger, which they radiate energy on their own.

Only magic users who are either born with magic or have some magic within them, can absorb the magic auras for their entity, but this is limited power as it will require a sort of method to transfer that energy as magic itself can be too powerful and unstable.

Elena got some magic from the Takaina when she fell as she had some magic within her and it radiated but transferred into her dress and scepter. So her emotions magic tended to be something a bit unstable due to the crystal's power being too much. Esteban is a unique case as the magic transferred into his staff and a bit into him, so he shared the same type of magical bond as Elena due to both getting some magic from Takaina.

Crystal magic still a bit of concept in the process, but just as the elements, crystal magic has its own branches and uses. Not every Crystal works the same or would be powerful enough to force a wand.

There are some crystals that work as seals and restoration (which was Marimonda's jewel), others for healing, and some meant to be used as transfer magic (which is where the crystals for wands and tamboritas are used)

There are also protection gems and crystals, which was what the amulet of Avalor was made of.

Always, the Avalorian Magic (which is Maru as well, but for clarity’s sake I'm referring to as Avalorian magic) and the Northern Island's bond. I believe that magic creates balance with itself to limit the magic users, so not anyone can fully access a certain type of magic unless they inherited or were not a magic withholder but absorb it, so everyone has limited access to certain types of Magic as it would be wicker.

Shuriki was able to use the crystals meant for craft, as she made a crystal wand (which is not necessary tied to Avalorian magic, but mostly work as a method to transfer her magic), and the scepter of night allowed her to form a small bond, but it wasn't as strong as Elena's due to her inherited magic from her parents (Since I headcannon her as half Satu, she has a bit of Satu magic but her Norther Island magic is more predominant. I'll explain it better in the future)

So, the scepter of night gave her harder problems because it was two different types of magic trying to coexist and bond, but it formed a weak link to the Scepter having a different set of Magic other than hers.

The scepter of night would have completely rejected her if Victor, Carla, or Fiero were to put it together first, since they would respond better to Avalorian blood than Northern Island and Satu blood.

The same thing would happen if an Avalorian Wizard or Malvago ever tried to mingle with Northern Island magic, the magic would immediately reject them unless it doesn't have a bond, so they can make one but it would not be as strong.

There are some few cases where both magic can bond, which would be basically the whole gray areas, so that sort of bond is a bit stronger, but it really depends on the type of use. The strongest tends to be channeling magic, as is basically magic just passing though.

[apparently-artless]

●◉✿ SOUSOU NO FRIEREN ❀ FRIEREN & HIMMEL ✿◉●

Anime: Sousou no Frieren Characters: Frieren & Himmel Song Lyrics: Outnumbered by Dermot Kennedy

↳ requested by Alice (@alice-chan-chan)

[pixelatedraindrops]

RAINCODE COMIC COLLAB~☔️

BEHOLD THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!!

3 full weeks of work and its finally completed!

So @kazinsblog and I did another raincode art collab together but this one was a HUGE project! This one's a full 18 page comic!

Idk if you all remember the comic idea that Kazin was planning to do that involved Yuma overworking himself until he gets sick and then gets tended to by everyone else. But when I saw it, I decided to ask her if she was willing to possibly collaborate on it, remaking it where she sketched it and I colored it.

Kazin's Beta images: 1 2 3 4

So here's the results of all that work. We've been at this since December 17th so this has been an almost full month collaboration. And of course mine's a bit more altered to my own style as well as adding my own touches and making it a little more whumpy/extreme... X'D I also freehand drew shinigami in my version as well.

Both our versions look pretty different! The only thing that are the same are the poses. So feel free to check out Kazin's traditional version as well!

Since its an 18 page comic, I decided to put it under a keep reading so it won't clutter everyone's timelines. Also, I will be narrating the pages because I love narrating sick filler type stories. So brace yourself for a VERY LOOONG post!! Def need time to read this one! (and no purple tinted filters here this time!)

Also note: If the writing is blue, it means the character is thinking, just like in the game! :)

And I apologize on the inconsistency of Yuma's bangs... I thought it was one way before so half of the comic he looks like he has square bangs... oof XD I fix it around page 10

ANYWAY, hope you enjoy this soft buffet, Raincode Community! 🌡️💕

(Page 1)

Our story begins on an ordinary day in Kanai Ward. Rainy gloomy and depressing as ever. Our little victim... wait... XD I mean protagonist Yuma decides to go out to investigate more about Kanai Ward to try to track down it's supposed ultimate secret. Yakou sets him off wishes him well and tells him to be careful. However, as he's out, he finds out a lot of people in the city need help. Because of his good nature and unable to turn down someone in need, he decides to help whoever he can. (the ultimate side-questing lol) Before he knows it, he's soaking wet and he had helped 10 people in total. Time passed and it was almost evening so he returns to the submarine. Yuma was completely unphased by this. (and he didn't dry himself off for 4 hours due to being occupied with tasks)

(Page 2)

Yuma returns to the Agency's submarine to greet his chief holding his meatbun order. (that also got wet) But Yakou notices that the trainee is sopping wet to the core and shivering. He immediately loudly demands that he sit down so he can tend to him. Yuma does as he's told and sits on the checkered sofa. Yakou rushes to the shower room to grab some small towels to help him dry off. But because Yakou is so panicked, he ends up being very rough in drying Yuma, pulling his hair and causing the small boy pain. After he dries him off, he tells Yuma he isn't allowed to leave anymore for the rest of the day and demands him to rest. Yuma tries to retaliate using puppy eyes, but it doesn't work. Yakou is immune.

(Page 3)

The next day Yuma asks Yakou if he can go out to work after he finishes his morning chores around the place looking very eager. Yakou still looks a little concerned by how tired Yuma looks, so he tells him to not go out alone. He assigns him a partner to go with the rest of the week.

On the first day he's paired with Halara. The two of them are asked to investigate the art gallery of Ginma. (maybe after the nail man case) But over time, Yuma starts developing a lingering cough that persists for quite some time. Halara asks Yuma is he's okay, to which Yuma lies saying that it's due to the dust of the room. But of course being sharp, Halara isn't buying it. But they decide to not persist him further.

On the second day, he's paired with Desuhiko. They're asked to go help out at the Aetheria Academy with another case (not murder related this time) However on the way to the school and in Ginma, Yuma starts slowing down, he's shaking and is a little wobbly. Desuhiko notices this and asks if he wants to go to the cafe for a drink. Yuma nods and as they go to the cafe and order some coffee, Yuma takes off his hat and coat and Desuhiko finally realizes how pale he looks. He's even slower at replying to him as he speaks, as if he's in a daze. Desuhiko decides to take Yuma back to the agency after this.

(Page 4)

On Day three, he's paired with Fubuki. But he doesn't even make it to the case as when he goes to the sun and moon hotel to meet with her, Fubuki notices and points out that Yuma's face looks red. The boy clearly had a fever building. Yuma argues with her but Fubuki persists. The two of them try to go to the case but Yuma nearly collapses. So Fubuki returns him to the agency.

On the fourth day where he's supposed to be paired with Vivia he spends a majority of the day passed out. Vivia decides to watch over him using his forte to not disturb him. During the night while he's asleep, his breathing gets more labored and he's completely restless. Vivia looks at him deeply worried for his dear friend's well being.

The next morning Yuma somehow finds the strength to get himself up. Maybe that one day of rest was enough. But Yakou insists that he stays put today. Angrily yelling at him to be still and take today off as well.

Meanwhile, a certain two seem to notice each other...

(Page 5)

Vivia's spirit notices Shinigami and decides to give her a warning. Make sure Yuma listens to Yakou and doesn't leave. Giving her the iciest glare, Shinigami fearfully agrees.

But this effort would be for naught, despite how he feels, Yuma's relentless determination forces himself up, putting on his rain attire and heads up the steps of the sub to the outside when Yakou isn't looking. Shinigami does what she can to stop him, but he doesn't listen...and Shinigami being a ghost, there was nothing she could do to physically hold him back. All she could do was follow, and prepare for the inevitable.

By some miracle he makes it to the church, up the stairs to speak to the nun. Who tells him to play therapy again for the townsfolk. He nods and heads to his first client. But when he returns to kamasaki to speak to him, he can barely make out what he's saying as he lets out a few more coughs.

Once he leaves the client, before long, Yuma could hear something in his body snap.

(Note: I direct most of the story, but Vivia conversing with Shinigami in spirit mode was actually Kazin's idea! So credit to her for that, So silly and fun! ^^)

(Page 6)

Yuma's body had finally reached it's limit. All the fatigue, chills and body aches had hit him all at once at full force like armed weaponry. His head began throbbing, he was shaking violently and uncontrollably, he felt nauseated by the rain's smell, and his body heat and the lingering dizziness was unbearable. He found a safe corner in the alleyway of Kamasaki to collapse. Telling Shinigami she was right and he should have listened to her, while the burning fever and cold rain wrecked his delicate frame even further. His voice was hardly audible, but Shinigami still heard and practically tells him to go back. But Yuma had no strength left...

Then like clockwork as they finish speaking, he could hear his name called. At first it sounded kind and questionable. But that rapidly changed, the voice now angrily yelling out his full name. As he looked up this voice belonged to...Yakou. He looks down at the boy in pure disappointment and anger.

Turns out a certain someone was tailing him. And alerted Yakou what happened just in time.

(Note: I make the red darker the more extreme the temperature and lighter the less extreme. I got to experiment with all sorts of new ways to color fevers hehe~ >w<)

(Page 7)

Yuma shockingly looks up at Yakou. Oh no, he was so BUSTED! Shinigami even says as much. Yakou practically scoops Yuma in his arms carrying him back to the agency. As he was lifted Yuma's world begun spinning. He could barely hear the chief nagging him in a panicked tone. It was all distorted and it was making his head hurt more. Yakou placed a hand to his cheek and was shocked by how hot it felt. All Yuma could do was apologize and hope his world stops spinning and that Yakou eventually stops yelling... (also I put numbers for the order to read the speech bubbles in)

Upon returning to the agency, Yakou dries Yuma off, asks Desuhiko to give him a warm set of clothes to borrow and put him to his own bed. Grabbing a basin of very cold water, washcloths and a digital thermometer. He placed one of the wet cold cloths under his bangs and upon reading the boy's temperature, it was high. Almost high enough to visit the ER. Yakou was even more mad, but speaks in a non yelling tone. Giving Yuma another stern warning to not leave the bed. To which Yuma weakly agrees to.

But Yakou's back to yelling again, feeling paranoid Yuma would be missing by the time he gets back from getting the supplies. So he drills that message right into the boy's already throbbing head once more. Everyone else in the office awkwardly listen in as the sick trainee gets scolded.

(Note: Just an FYI, Yuma's speech bubbles being wavy is a sign his voice is raspy and the text being a bit hard to read means his voice is hardly audible)

(Page 8)

Yakou leaves Yuma alone and walks into the office in his raincoat telling the other detectives that he'll be leaving soon and to watch over Yuma in his absence and NOT let him leave. He is so full of anger and anxiety that he yells at all of them too.

Everyone agrees and as Yakou leaves, they all discuss among themselves Yuma's state the days they were partners with him. He was in bad shape. And he only got worse as the days went by. They all knew.

(Page 9)

Meanwhile back in Yakou's quarters, Yuma was getting lectured yet again. This time by his death god partner, Shinigami. The poor trainee only wanted peace and quiet to make the pain in his head go away, using what little energy he has remaining speaking in his head he tried telling her to stop.

But the aggravated spirit persisted, saying that as his mentor she had the right to scold him just as much as Yakou. She continued her rant, until an abrupt sound from her master shut her up.

The few coughs that came from Yuma eventually erupted into a full blown coughing fit. The coughs sounding more wet, rough and serious. After coughing 10 to 15 times in a row Yuma was exhausted. Shinigami looked down at him panting with concern and pity in her eyes. She decided to stop the lecture for his sake.

After the fit, Yuma was left raggedly breathing. As Shinigami gave him her permission to rest and take it easy, he didn't answer. He couldn't. That fit completely mangled his throat. He was not able to speak vocally or in thought process anymore due to his head being in too much pain. As was the rest of his body, aching and burning. So he didn't answer her. All he could do was hope sleep would eventually take hold of him to make all this awful heat and pain stop even if for a just moment.

(Note: That's the penalty Yuma... x'D Sorry I gotta make him suffer lol. Also this is the only page that’s actually read left to right. I messed that up, sorry!!)

(Page 10)

After some time passed it was time for the Master Detectives to all take part in taking care of Yuma. The whole agency had a day off to do this. So upon his return, Yakou instructs everyone to look after Yuma in 2 hour shifts through the day. Even if it was just to watch him sleep. He couldn't be left alone.

Halara was first. Their task was to help Yuma take the medicine that was bought. There were three types of medicine for him to take. Antibiotics (white pills) for the general illness symptoms, painkillers (red and white pills) for the headache/fever, and finally...cough syrup. (aka his least favorite... XD) Halara made sure to be very gentle with Yuma propping him upward as his whole body was burning and he was very shaky. He even had trouble drinking the water, so Halara had to get a mug instead so they could help him drink it by holding the handle, and using the other hand to support his back. Despite the struggle, Halara worked diligently to complete their task as a caretaker in full. (as for who paid them to do this...idk I'll leave that to your imagination XD)

(The cough syrup idea was inspired by this fic :3)

Desuhiko had the second shift and the whole time he was waiting for his turn, he was writing a song for Yuma. Having the delusion that his angelic voice would lul the sick boy to sleep, he played his guitar and began singing. Yuma's headache did improve enough to speak in his head now, but that wouldn't last, as the loud noises from the guitar made his head pound even further with every strum. Shinigami begs for the noise to cease fire on her poor eardrums, but Yuma doesn't have it in him to stop Desuhiko. The gesture was kind so he decided to try to listen to the whole song, despite the noise. He does eventually tell him to stop though (using hand gestures) when another song comes afterward. So then the two spend their time conversing for a bit, (though desuhiko does more of the talking as yuma just nods or makes small noises/hand gestures due to his throat still hurting too much to talk) Desuhiko even telling him he could keep the sweater and shorts he had lent to him. To which Yuma softly smiles at him as a thank you before he eventually falls asleep again.

Fubuki has the third shift, and her task was to feed Yuma the warm vegetable soup that was bought earlier and that Halara had just finished making, along with Fubuki's help. She volunteers to feed him as she remembers a time she was ill as a child in the clockford mansion and one of her servants tended to her, feeding her soup just the same. Unfortunately, because this was a memory of her early childhood, she repeats similar phrases as the servant did when she was feeding Yuma, who was clearly not a small child. Yuma's fever had dropped enough to where he could find a bit of strength to try and sit up on his own now, and his once mangled throat’s condition had improved for him to speak a little bit. As he listened to Fubuki's rambling he tries to play along with her despite the whole thing being a bit embarrassing for someone his age. At least the soup was nice and warm. It felt good going down his very sore throat.

(Funny Fact: The order that Yuma is both partnered and tended to by each detective, is the same order as the chapters in game he's partnered with them LOL)

(Page 11)

It was evening, and now it was Vivia's turn to take the fourth and final shift. At first he was just going to sit and watch Yuma while he read his book quietly, but Yakou suggested that he read one of his books out loud to Yuma to help him relax better like a bedtime story. Vivia was unsure at first, as he's never read to anyone before. But he decided to give it a try. He asks Yuma what his preference in literature is before he starts, and Yuma tells him he enjoys detective novels the most. So he pulls out the novel that was in his reading list and begins to read it out loud to him. Turns out he was quite a natural at narrating, and his slow voice was very soothing. Yuma felt so relaxed that he felt like he would fall asleep any minute, but he tries to stay awake to listen to the story a bit more. Shinigami however, conks out immediately. (fyi: yes this is the novel Vivia talks about in his final gumshoe gab. I tried to make up stuff based on it.. X'D)

Once the clock strikes 9pm and night falls, the Master Detectives all wish Yuma well and leave to return to the hotel to retire for the night. It was just Yakou and Yuma now. Yakou, who had just come back from another errand, walks over to Yuma who was now fast asleep. He looked a little better so Yakou removed the towel from his forehead and places his hand onto it. It still felt warm but no longer as hot as it did hours ago. Meaning he was out of the danger zone, much to Yakou's relief. He places the towel back in the water basin wringing it out and re-applying it to his forehead. Then he lets out a yawn. He was pretty tired. He decides that instead of sleeping in the office on one of the sofas, he'd stay by Yuma's side. His removes his jacket, goes and turns off the overhead lights, sits down and places his head down on his desk. Then after telling the sleeping trainee goodnight he turns off the small light by his desk.

OKAY FUN FACT: The comic WAS going to end here going on to the final page... Buuut~ We were STARVING for some good ol' Yakou Fathero :3 So... Enjoy these bonus 6 pages of Yakou having a shift of his own to look after Yuma in the middle of the night. And its the longest shift.

This ones for you Yakou Fathero fans! Eat your fill!

(I know we sure did :3)

Also I apologize if the lighting here is inaccurate ;w; I tried my best I'm no pro LOL

(Page 12)

A little past midnight, Yuma was stirring in his sleep. Making all sorts of groaning sounds as if he was in pain. He was likely having a nightmare. This is confirmed by his eyes suddenly opening and him violently flinging himself up screaming, and the cold cloth flying off his forehead.

This sound wakes Yakou up immediately as he puts his glasses back on asking Yuma if he's okay. He flicks the light by his desk on to check on him. Yuma's found shaking with tears in his eyes stating quietly that it was just a dream. Yakou sympathizes with Yuma as fever dreams were usually not fun, but a fever NIGHTMARE was always bad. The chief offers the shaking trainee some water to try to help him settle down.

(FYI: Shinigami is going to be absent from this part of the story because I think her banter and antics would ruin the fluff, so she'll just be lurking above in the shelf like a cat the whole time.)

(Page 13)

Yuma accepts the water practically snatching it from Yakou's hands and quickly gulping it down. Yakou tells him to pace himself not wanting him to choke. Once he exhales from the water drink, Yuma sheepishly apologizes for waking Yakou up with his scream, feeling like a burden. Yakou reassures him it's okay and decides to ask him the question of why he pushed himself this far while he was still awake. Hard enough to make himself sick. Why did he do it?

Yuma was surprised by this but decides to try to tell him. He hands the water glass back and began talking. Under his raspy voice and somewhat heavy breathing, he says that he wanted to be useful as he felt like a burden to everyone since he lost his memory. He also says that he likes helping others and that it feels familiar to him. Determined to try to unlock a core memory of his past he kept doing this, even to the point of pushing his limits.

Then he suddenly stopped speaking...

(Page 14)

...aaand cue the coughing fit. Yuma's throat got scratchy and irritated after his long explanation, causing him to cough about 5/8 times in a row. Not as bad as his previous fit but it was more than enough to startle and worry Yakou.

Yakou quickly hands Yuma the water glass he had just taken from him hoping it would soothe his throat. He tells him that helping others is a good thing but he shouldn't push himself to the point that his health gets affected. Yuma quietly nods and as he sips the water still shaking, Yakou feels bad and decides to apologize to him for being harsh before. Stating that he only lost his temper because he was scared and worried for him. He also places his hand to Yuma's cheek in both comfort and to check his temperature. It felt slightly warmer than a few hours ago.

Yuma quietly apologizes to Yakou for worrying him, still holding the water glass. Yakou forgives him. Then he takes the glass from him and then the towel that fell off Yuma's forehead. He grabs a fresh one and soaks it in the basin wringing it out and places it back on the trainee’s forehead unintentionally a bit roughly. Yuma groans and shivers a little from the cold of it.

Yakou then lies Yuma back down, tucking him back in trying to make him comfortable. But his actions were a bit too comforting. He was not meaning to in any way and he wasn't sure what came over him, but he was treating Yuma like a little kid. Yuma notices and feels a little embarrassed by it, but decides to only say it in his head.

Yakou decides to do one more thing before he lets him go back to sleep.

(Note: Hey far as anyone's concerned Yuma, you are practically his BABY when you are having a sick day, so deal with it hehehe :3c)

(Page 15)

Temperature taking page time :D (my favorite, teehee! I know some cultures and in anime they take the temperature under the arm, but there's just something so endearing and adorable about a sickie with a thermometer in their mouth <3 OKAY MY RAMBLING ASIDE...)

Yakou is now a bit concerned that Yuma's fever spiked again after that little harsh coughing fit so he decides to take his temperature one more time before letting Yuma go to sleep again. Yuma obliges and goes along with it opening his mouth as the device is inserted.

After 15 seconds the device beeps and Yakou takes it out. Yuma shyly pulls the duvet up to his face and hides as he meekly asks if its any better feeling a little nervous. Yakou responds that it is better than it was the first time, where it was a dangerous degree.

However, he still wasn't out of the woods yet. The fever was still there and although it went down, it was still in the red. Yakou states that he's still feverish to which Yuma just apologizes. Poor thing just wants this to be over, he really doesn't want to trouble anyone anymore.

(sorry yuma I can't let you off that easily hehe 😈)

(also yes I put an instruction manual for how the thermometer works, I am so obsessed that I even give the thermometer lore LMAO. Sorry if I'm inaccurate in any of those readings. I used google... ^^;)

(Page 16)

Yakou places the thermometer back on the desk and tells Yuma to go to sleep. Saying the fever will likely break by morning. To which Yuma states that he's in Yakou's bed and that he should return to the checkered sofa so his boss could sleep, attempting to try getting up. But Yakou puts a hand on his shoulder stopping him and denies this and says his desk is fine and that Yuma needed the bed more than him.

He also says that if Yuma had another bad dream that he would be there for him. Yuma smiles at Yakou quietly thanking him as he's tucked back into the duvet. Yakou pats it gently telling the trainee to close his eyes.

It isn't long before Yuma is back to being fast asleep. (and shinigami too)

Yakou monologues to himself for a bit groaning at how much trouble this small detective has been for him since he showed up. But then he switches his tune and places a hand to Yuma's head petting it softly. He says he's happy he's working hard for the sake of his memories but right now he needs to work on getting better. Saying it would help everyone in the agency if he wanted to help people.

He wishes him well continuing to pet his head for a bit longer to soothe him before going back to sleep himself turning the light off again.

(Page 17)

2 hours later, Yuma was stirring and whining in his sleep once again. Yakou groggily wakes up wiping his tired eyes upon hearing the soft noises the small trainee was uttering. And he was crying again. Can only be one thing: Another nightmare.

Instead of turning the light on to wake him up, Yakou moves his chair close to him sitting at his side. Not saying a single word. (cept in his head lol) He reaches his hand for Yuma's as it twitches and he takes hold of it gently.

Yakou eventually leans on the bed as he does so and falls asleep sitting up again. Yuma's groaning and and heavy breathing begin to settle down a little as he felt Yakou's presence close by.

Then he smiles as he closes his hand in his sleep holding Yakou's hand back, leaning a bit close to it. He felt safe again... <3

(Note: This poor thing has way too much trauma... ;w; I headcanon that he's prone to night terrors on occasion, but when he gets a fever, its even WORSE. Fevers do be messing with your head... x3)

(Page 18 Final)

The next morning when Yakou wakes up, he checks on Yuma. He still felt slightly warm but he looked much better. Seemed the worst was over and it would likely last just one more day.

When he's fully awake and at his desk, Desuhiko shows up asking Yakou if Yuma's okay and offered to wake him up. Yakou denies it saying Yuma needed one more day of rest, the fever may have been only slight now, but in the rain it would rise again easily.

Desuhiko agrees and declares that he's going to work hard today. Likely to make up for Yuma's absence. Yakou teases him and the two have a bit of a banter.

Yuma meanwhile is asleep peacefully. Still having a slight red tint to his cheeks, but he's able to sleep a lot easier now. His fever was slowly but surely breaking. (now in the yellow) Shinigami sleeps beside him, making sure she protects him from any nightmares in yakou's absence. (after all only SHE can give her master nightmares)

He wakes up fully recovered the following morning thanking everyone for taking such good care of him, and he makes sure to not push himself anymore. And continues searching for the city's ultimate secret while pacing himself to help others from now on.

THE END ❤️

(I practically made this into a sickfic in its own right... XD)

Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! This is just a little artist credit page I made for Kazin and I c: Also art semi-face reveal?? xD Kinda?? Idk lol (we just two gals that like our sick comfort haha x3)

Anyway thank you again Kazin for doing this with me!! It was hard work but it was a blast and the final result came out amazing. Its surely a project I will cherish forever~ 💜🩷✨🌡️

A wholesome story to start 2024 on a good note.

[bleue-flora]

I give you the map for the recently created au I’m gonna call the playdate au, where over the summer, all of the neighbor’s kids often come over to play at Dream’s house (the Dream SMP). Dream’s parents are fairly abusive hence why he’s annoying and controlling to the other kids, trying to keep them from breaking something and such because as the oldest he’ll be the one to face the punishment later.

Locations:

Greater Dream Smp - the whole playground.

Community House - the gazebo, where the snacks, drinks and food are put out.

L’manberg - the pool and pool deck, where Wilbur is forced to monitor as the pseudo lifeguard because he’s the strongest swimmer.

Exile - a little tent area set up in the woods, where Dream sends Tommy for a time out.

Kinoko Kingdom - the mushroomed tree with a house that Sapnap decorated with Japanese lanterns.

Las Nevadas - the cookie stand and sand box that Foolish loves to play in.

Eggpire - the garage with some old red Christmas lights and Easter decorations.

Anarchist Commune - the air conditioned inside of the house, where they often watch movies and play video games.

Wilbur’s burger van - the cookie stand Wilbur set up on the other side of the yard to compete with Quackity.

Pandora’s Vault - the dark and hot inside of the big black slide, where Dream goes to hide from Tommy’s temper tantrum or gets too overwhelmed and overstimulated. Sam tends to guard the bottom from Tommy trying to annoy Dream. Quackity likes to throw rocks up the slide, but Sam also lets him crawl up and show Dream fun games with his cool lighter and pocketknife. ;]

Snowchester - the porch, where it’s just outside enough so they can eat popsicles without making a mess inside as well as a good spot for Tubbo’s stuffed pig to stay safe from getting all dirty in the chaos.

Limbo - the bedrooms used for nap time.

World Spawn - the bathroom

Niki’s underground city - the kitchen, where she convinces Phil to bake cookies with her.

Things:

The Music discs - two appropriately colored frisbees that Tubbo, Dream, and Tommy like to use in monkey in the middle.

Michael - Tubbo’s beloved stuffed pig

The Egg - Bad’s favorite chicken named Eggsy that he never goes anywhere without.

L’manberg flag - Wilbur’s weirdly patterned towel.

Nukes - a few huge water balloons

[developed in part with @piscespixiewastaken, @simplepotatofarmer, anon, & @error-dream-was-found]

[eirenical]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook | Lian Hua Lou | 莲花楼 | Episodes 3 & 9 - The Letter

There is so much we don't know about what happened ten years ago between Sigumen and Jinyuanmeng.  A lot of it gets unraveled as the show goes on, but one thing remains true: there is a hell of a lot of unreliable narration to pick through to get to the truth.  And when it comes to the particular truths of what happened between the individual people involved, that becomes even more true.

And one of the little mysteries that always bothered me was this letter that Qiao Wanmian wrote to Li Xiangyi to break up with him.  Because I absolutely could not figure out when he actually got that letter.  Anyway, I finally caught a few details that helped me to tease that apart and my first realization was that he fucking LEFT HER ON 'READ' for about a month (Li XIangyi, PLEASE OTZ) and the second realization was that we get two different versions of these events YET AGAIN, but this time both from Li Xiangyi's POV in flashbacks, and I'm CHEWING GLASS OVER IT, so naturally I have to share.

So the first time we get this particular flashback is in episode 3.  Li Lianhua is remembering the aftermath of the Donghai Battle, how he fell into the ocean and washed up on the shore... a husk of what he had once been.

He wakes up and makes his way into town and to Sigumen's steps, overhearing all this terrible news as he walks.  People injured, homes destroyed, people killed, and so much of the blame being placed on all the sects, and on Sigumen in particular.  And as he walks, you can see it all starting to weigh him down, until he's literally bent over from the weight of it on his back.

And then the final betrayal.  His people, his friends, want to disband the sect.  They want to walk away.  They blame him and his hubris for this disaster.  And the coup-de-grace is Xiao Zijin asking Qiao Wanmian... "You don't like this place either, right?"

And the sad look on Qiao Wanmian's face finally breaks Li XIangyi of his paralysis and he turns away, back to the scene unfolding on those steps and drifts back to the shore, where he ultimately collapses.

And that's all we get.

We know he returned to Sigumen.  We know he overheard them wanting to disband the sect.  We know he left without a word.  And that's the end of the story as far as Episode 3 is concerned.

But this makes sense.  Li LIanhua is mid-Bicha attack and has just left Fang Duobing on the side of the road when this flashback comes on.  He's fighting his own body in a desperate bid for survival to complete the one task he's set himself and Fang Duobing has just dredged up all this stuff and gone off on a tear about how he's Li Xiangyi's disciple.  A road Li Xiangyi never got a chance to walk.  Another person he failed along the way.  And so he's focused on all the ways in which he is a failure in that moment, all the ways he doesn't live up to Fang Duobing's hero, Li XIangyi, all the ways that he is no longer that man.  So he zeroes in on the moment he lost it all: his reputation, his sect, his health, his power.  So that's the part of the flashback that we get.

But in Episode 9, we have an entirely different set of circumstances.  He's just saved his A-mian.  He's focused on helping her let go of the man he thinks she still loves.  He's putting himself aside to focus solely on her (or so he thinks—that's honestly a question for later, but bear with me, we'll get there ;D) and what she needs.  And we get dumped into this flashback again.

Only this time it doesn't start on the beach.  It starts here:

It starts with Li Xiangyi seeing his sect disbanded again.  Only this time, he remembers the words that come from Xiao Zijin differently:

There's no speaking out load of "you hate it here too, don't you?" or any similar sentiment.  Because at this point, Li Lianhua knows this isn't true.  She can't hate it there.  She lives there.  She didn't leave.  And she doesn't hate him because she very obviously misses him and mourns him.  So in his mind, he gives this moment a little less abrasiveness.  A little less fierceness.  But because he's so focused on A-Mian in this memory, we finally find out that there is an entire piece to this incident that we haven't gotten until now.

A-Mian's grief.

A-Mian's recognition that he was there.

And the letter.

The letter she wrote a month ago.

A letter Li Xiangyi NEVER READ.

We get to see A-Mian's regret.  We get to see her grief: both for her own sense of shame at being unable to keep up with the man she loved, and her sense of loss over her own innocence and the opportunities that they'll never have now to make amends.  And we get to see her break from her grief for just a moment to rush down those stairs because some instinct in her just won't quit.

Li Xiangyi had returned.

And she knew.

But it was too late.  She no longer trusted herself.  And Li Xiangyi, having heard her outpouring of grief, had already decided that he owed it to her and to everyone else to just… walk out of their lives for good. 

And he did. 

But he owed her one last thing first.

He owed it to her to read the letter that she'd written him a month ago and he'd never opened.

So before he goes back to that beach, he returns to his rooms in Sigumen to retrieve that unopened letter and read it.

On first watch, I had assumed this was after his healing with Monk Wuliao.  That he was RE-reading that letter, not reading it for the first time.  But these are clearly his rooms in Sigumen.  The desk he conducts business from is at the bottom right and the table he confronts Shand Gudao from is on the left. But unlike when we usually see these rooms, brightly lit during the day, they're now mostly in darkness, the sun clearly setting given the angle of the light coming into the room. This is the sunset of Li Xiangyi. The last moments of his life, in a way.

And the letter is very VERY obviously unopened when he first takes it out:

And reading that letter is the final nail in Li Xiangyi's coffin, I think.  Final proof that he'd failed in every aspect of his life: being a brother, being a lover, being a sect leader, being a friend, being a student.  After this, he leaves Sigumen and goes back to that beach to lay down where he washed back up initially, ready to let the death he temporarily escaped take him away.  And when the monk saves his life anyway, he still manages to kill off the part of him that was Li Xiangyi.  Li Xiangyi is dead, he insists over and over and over again, until he believes it himself.

Because in that letter—a letter he left unread FOR A MONTH—Qiao Wanmian manages to show him that he never really saw her at all.  That he never saw one of his dearest loved ones in pain right in front of him—pain that he finally witnessed on the steps of Sigumen as she poured out her grief and regret in sending this letter to begin with.  How ironic then, that a letter she'd sent intending to set him free of her to fly up to the heights on his own, was the final arrow that brought him down.  I don't think that's what she would have wanted at all.

But I really feel for her.  I do.

Just imagine sending this letter and knowing that it's sitting in Li Xiangyi's mail pile somewhere… and assuming that he read it and that's what spurred him on to this last desperate fight.  Because in that outpouring on the steps that clearly what she thought she did.  She thought this letter sent him to his death.  And in that moment she's wrong, because HE NEVER READ IT.  Not until long after that.  Not until after this moment.  And fucking HELL, but that just hurts me.

Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything if he hadn't witnessed that moment.  Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything if he hadn't read that letter.  Maybe he still would have felt that he'd failed enough to warrant death of some kind.

But maybe not.

I guess we'll never know.

[dropthedemiurge]

As promised, here's more of Tumblr x Reddit... newfound cohabitation? Sleepover?xD Anyway, this is on you guys, remember ^^

Also it's an art for @serenadoesscience as a bit of a welcoming home-cave-hellsite roum tour :D

[damnation-if]

I just want to say, as a certified monster fucker, I'm already in love with your story hahaaa <3 I'm glad we're getting more adult stories and the themes in this one are so intriguing, can't wait for the rest ! Alsooo, I really liked the way you describe things? I do not know how to explain it haha but I could easily visualize what was happening and the general atmosphere you're going for and I thought that was neat :^)

thank you so much for your kind words!! i truly appreciate them and i'm so glad the descriptions were to your liking! i have at least some level of aphantasia, so i'm always worried that i'm not describing things enough haha... glad that doesn't seem to be the case!

i was actually talking to my friends just yesterday about how there's relatively few Creacher-y ROs around... so for whatever reason, i guess because it's on my mind, i thought i'd take a bit of time/space here to mention all of the Monsterfucker Approved (TM) ROs that i could come up with, in case anyone else might be interested. this list isn't meant to be exhaustive (in case i miss anyone) as sadly i am yet to become all-seeing and all-knowing 😔

Creacher (Alien)

Rhaxa and Imxa from Project Hadea by my beloved @nyehilismwriting. spikey, scaley, bitey, etc. 👌i also love and appreciate the attention to detail put into worldbuilding for the different ways their species communicates and thinks and so on, showing the culture gaps between them and humans. quality buggies!

Creacher (Eldritch)

Roach from The Passenger... the mc is also an eldritch creacher in this one, which may add or subtract to the enjoyment for various different people lol

Sysba from Attollo; i also think this game in general is pretty monster friendly, with a bunch of monstrous side characters and so forth. the cool kind of neo-gothic vibes give it a feeling a bit akin to a cyberpunk Penny Dreadful... it's about as Monsterfucker as cyberpunk gets i think!

Beacon from Stygian: The Abyssal Lighthouse by my good friend @salty-stories. this one is probably the most Lovecraftian of the eldritch creachers i think, heavy Call of Cthulhu vibes. it's still in progress but i'm personally willing to wait haha

Creacher (Parahuman)

Lorelei and The Other from The Golden Harp; pirates and sirens and mermaids, oh my!

Danny and Isla from When It Hungers by the wonderful @roast-ifs ... the game is still on hiatus but it still lives rent-free in my head always... the monster mcs are So *chef's kiss*

Oisein from The Nameless; due to the sheevra mc there's a Lot of really cool exploration of the boundaries of humanity and stuff like that... we love a "nonhumans shouldn't be able to feel/do this" story... we love it a Normal amount for sure.

Creacher (Indefinable)

Trace from Greenwarden by @fiddles-ifs; an iconique creacher... the game itself also has excellent kind of Appalachian gothic/supernatural vibes and a dark undercurrent of Lurking Monster Foreboding.

Games with Applicably Creacher-esque Vibes

Virtue's End by my beloved friend dani... the ROs might be human, but the mc most certainly is not<3 dark fantasy and sumptuous Monster vibes, what more can you ask?

anything by the extremely talented @thirtybythirty (links to their games in their pinned post). everything they write has a compelling undercurrent of... eldritch existentialism. perhaps the creacher is in fact the Narrative... or maybe the humans were the creachers all along...

the fabulous OFNA: Birds of a Feather - it has the perfect combination of things Not Quite Human and Not Quite Right to create a rich and ominous atmosphere, well-worth playing even though everyone is Technically human lmfao

anyway sorry for rambling on and i'm sure there's a bunch i have missed but. i do feel like it's worth giving praise where it's due for games and writers that we appreciate! thank you again for your kind message (and for giving me a chance to talk about this a bit lol)

[ladyinthebluebox]

tall girl from my desk🌱 don't look at all those WIPs on my desktop. we don't talk about them.

[drama-glob]

And now it's time to give Globby hugs. ^_^<3<3<3

I think a lot of us share Fred's feelings about spiders in all honesty. O_O

Sometimes once you hear those theories, you can't get them out of your head and it'll really get to you until it gets confirmed or denied. O_O :(

[kindred-spirit-93]

good morning!!

hello dearest :D!!

[victorluvsalice]

💬I'm curious about the New Severance fic (mainly because I don't think I've heard of that series) and the BITD Smiler BABS fic (Because...self indulgence)

*cracks knuckles* Okay, so, let's take these in order:

The Severance AU: Severance is a show on Apple TV from 2022 (though season 2 is coming out in 2025) about a bunch of workers for the Lumon Corporation who have undergone the titular procedure to "sever" their work and home selves (involves getting a computer chip inserted in your brain). Basically, an employee who gets severed has a home self (Outie) that doesn't remember anything about what they do at work, and a work self (Innie) that doesn't remember anything about their outside home life (like, they know basic stuff, but their personal lives are a complete blank). The Innies are in fact basically trapped on the basement floor they work on because the elevator that you use to access the floor also turns the chips on and off. So from their perspective, they get into the elevator at the end of the day -- and then immediately get out again and go back to work. The show follows the people in the "Macrodata Refinement" department (they sort numbers based on vibes, essentially) and their Innie and Outie selves as the Innies are shook up by new hire Helly R. and her desperate attempts to escape and the appearance of an outside self-help book on the Severed Floor, and the Outies (specifically Mark Scout) start to learn that Lumon is, uh, fucked up. Honestly, given how fucking weird the whole thing sounds (I haven't even gotten into the whole part where Lumon basically operates like a cult, or the Break Room -- which is not the room where you take a break...), I think the series might be your jam -- here's the Wikipedia page should you care to learn more.

ANYWAY -- I haven't actually SEEN the TV series, but I DID recently read "Welcome to the Panopticon," a BTTF/Severance fusion fic by @penny-anna that covers most of the relevant worldbuilding for the TV show while putting BTTF characters into their own version of the mess. I found the fic fascinating and inspiring, especially with all the Innie/Outie stuff, and my brain immediately decided two things:

One, I would love to do a Valicer AU with this fucked-up premise

Two, this kind of corporate malfeasance feels VERY Aperture Science.

Cue the mental creation of a currently-unnamed AU where Victor, Alice, and Smiler are severed workers working for the Macrodata Refinement department of Aperture Science! Victor's there because he was severely depressed after the death of his fiancee Victoria and their mutual friend Emily during a robbery and his parents talked him into it; Alice is there because she murdered Dr. Bumby, got caught (though she did at least expose him in the process), and was pushed into the program as a "rehabilitation effort" to make her a "productive citizen;" and Smiler -- well, Smiler was simply forced to have the procedure by their asshole father Dr. Kelman, who wanted them to do it as a PR move and to try and force them to bend to HIS wishes about their life. The idea would follow mainly the Innie versions of everyone as Smiler joins the team and makes it their job to try and keep them all from going insane down in that basement, with the trio gradually falling in love as they get to know each other (well, as much as they can when they're all amnesiac on the floor) and having adventures dealing with their weird-ass circumstances, their personality core supervisor Wheatley, and their unsevered boss Miss Glados (aka Caroline, one of the big movers and shakers of Aperture) --

And THEN managing to escape because of an incident involving the Overtime Contingency (which allows the Innies to wake up outside of the Severed Floor if the bosses really need them to for some reason), which allows them to wreck a party their Outies were attending with the real facts about Innie life -- and then the Outies get to see the Severed Floor, go "holy shit this is fucked up" and manage to escape when Chell shows up to cause chaos in the name of rescuing her old friend Wheatley... I mean, there's a LOT more detail in my head about what happens in this Hypothetical Fic Eating My Brain, but I want to actually get to the OTHER half of your question, so let's call it there for now. XD

BITD Smiler in BABS Verse: Okay, you've probably guessed that this relates back to when I asked you about VITD Smiler ending up in the "Beneath A Broken Sky" world and what you thought might happen with them and the cast. This version is a little different, as it involves a Smiler from a Blades In The Dark world that doesn't actually have a Victor or Alice in it, because I wanted to see how they'd react to the Victor and Alice who got sucked in without having any of their own. I haven't got like a FULL idea of how it would go yet, but I do have a few key items in place:

-->Smiler would end up in the BABS verse because, in this version of Duskwall, the moon is slowly but surely beginning to fall on the Shattered Isles and will eventually destroy everything, and Mar-Mal is trying to find a way to save their Advocates -- I'm thinking they manipulate a Special Tree to shoot Smiler to the BABS verse to "scout it out," so to speak

-->I picture the "local" Victor and Alice wanting to support their fellow dimensional refugee and checking in on them as they're getting settled -- and being perhaps a little concerned by how almost unnaturally cheerful Smiler is

-->I think it would be funny for Daniel to want to cast that spell that provides all the modern contemporary knowledge on Smiler, only for Victor and Alice to leap in and be like "don't, do you not remember all the vomiting when you did that to us" -- only for Mar-Mal, using their limited influence in the new universe through their connection to Smiler, to find the spell, go "oh, that looks useful," and cast it on Smiler anyway XD (though I'm picturing them managing to spare Smiler the vomiting -- not the fainting though, they still go down for the count)

-->I really have to wonder how Gef would react to Smiler -- I imagine it would be quite the thing XD

-->I imagine that Victor has some nasty nightmares after his experience with The Bleeding Eye (like, there's no actual contact by the creature again, Daniel's made sure of that, but Victor keeps having bad dreams about the "room" and the Thing in it -- can you blame him?), and Smiler eventually offers to help with their hypnosis skills -- Alice is immediately like "I want to observe to make sure this is on the up-and-up" and Smiler's like "Sure!" Cue Smiler helping Victor out, Alice being like "...wtf I didn't know that could be used for good," and the three getting closer as a result, with of course eventual romance

-->I want Smiler to go to OmegaMart, see the employees, and want to cheer them up -- mostly I want them to offer one a hug and the employee to be like ??? Smiler wants to improve happiness in this place damn it

-->Potential endgame is them finding a way to get Smiler back to their world, with Victor and Alice tagging along for a visit...only to discover the whole "moon falling on the world" thing and realize that Mar-Mal's plan is actually to evacuate the Advocates (and whoever else wants to come with) to the BABS world before everything, you know, gets smashed. Cue panicked race to get people through whatever gateway they got open before the end

Basically, it's just me going "I want that version of Smiler to cause Even More Shenanigans in that world" right now. XD

[blackjackkent]

Narrator: Your stomach churns around and around. The bile within is unsettled. Each moment brings a new surge.

Gods, her head aches.

It is the worst the dreams have been in a long time. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. The usual visions of battlefields full of broken corpses - and more specific images, too. All those which the beast has wanted her to kill and she resisted. Isobel. Aylin. Jaheira. Dolly. Arabella... images of throats torn out and innocent blood pouring over her hands like rain...

She feels sick and feverish. She must rest - a battle beyond measure waits for them at Moonrise, the battle to take vengeance on Ketheric for good and all. She must sleep, but her brain will not settle, and her stomach spasms with nausea.

She sits up, pressing the heels of her palms into her temples, struggling to beat back the terrible thoughts.

Narrator: Your companions sleep like blissful lumps of meat.

Wyll is asleep nearby. Often he (and Lae'zel) keep watch over her in the night, helping to guard her from the dreams. He's promised he won't let her kill in her sleep again. But he cannot stay awake forever; he too knows the fight ahead will need all their wits.

She watches him through the flicker of the firelight. The man who has helped to make every good part of her that exists in between the rotted instincts and empty memories. The man she loves, and who loves her even though she does not deserve it. In his sleep he looks peaceful; perhaps he is lost in some better dream.

She stands, meaning to pace at the edge of the fire, to perhaps shed some of the nervous, anxious energy until she is too tired for the dreams to take hold... but instead she finds herself simply standing there, looking at Wyll, watching the subtle movements of his eyes under the lids, the slow rise and fall of his chest.

The voice hisses suddenly next to her. "He is an insult to the name of devils, posing as a monster with that sickly good heart."

She jumps violently, spins with one fist lashing out. She has learned - the blow is lower now and very nearly connects, skimming a hair's breadth from Sceleritas's skeletal nose, but he dodges backwards as always, his smirk stretching from ear to ear as if nothing happened.

"You could do so much better, Milady..." he purrs, coming to rest again near Wyll's feet.

"Get away from him!" she snarls. All her rage at herself, all the bloodlust of the beast, she would happily expend instead on this little rat of a creature who finds her at her lowest moments, if he was not so adept at dancing out of her reach.

Sceleritas's smile widens impossibly, straining and stretching the desiccated skin of his face. He leaps over Wyll's legs, closer to her again, that obsequious and cringing bearing contrasting weirdly with the bright cruelty in his eyes.

"I won't lay so much as a talon on him," he croons brightly. "I wouldn't rob you of that delight." He draws slowly closer, step by step, word by word, and she feels her blood run cold. "Your clever mind is penning tragedy as we speak. Your repressed Urge yearns to kill. And kill you will." His eyes narrow with gleeful malice. "Tonight... the moment you close your eyes... your favorite person will be killed."

Wyll.

Her heart drops into her stomach and her whole body begins to tremble. He means Wyll. Of course he means Wyll. There is no chance that he is lying; the dreams have already shown her that she is reaching a breaking point. All those lives she has resisted taking... it only makes the hunger stronger in the end...

"I didn't lay a finger on Isobel," she whispers hoarsely, clenching her fists at her sides as if that action alone could grant her some new conviction. "I can... control myself..."

Sceleritas laughs dismissively, as if correcting the misapprehensions of an illogical child. "It is precisely because you *didn't* touch her that you are insatiable..." he explains. "Your Dark Urge will have death, one way or another." Again that mocking smile. "Tonight."

He circles around her slowly where she stands, opening the way between her and Wyll, then stepping back into it again. "He adores you so blindly..." he hisses. "Like a pup. Don't you find it *sickening*?"

She can feel how the words pull at the beast, rousing it to fever pitch, hungry and full of rage. KILL.

She shudders, trying to force the monstrous thoughts back. Yes - Wyll adores her blindly. She does not understand it; he should have long since seen her for a broken thing and turned aside. But she clings to it with gratitude for every moment that she has it. He has made her who she is, every part of her that she can take any pride in.

She loves him. She has never told him so aloud. Does he know?

Sceleritas does. She can tell by the way he is taunting her, by that infuriating, mocking smirk.

"Have you been watching us while we are together?" she rasps out.

Sceleritas cocks his head as if in apology, as if he is not deeply enjoying putting her so ill at ease. "It is my *duty* to ensure you are making the right decisions, Master," he says, mock-sincere. "There was much... disappointment at your reluctance to kill the little Moonmaiden." He turns aside, gestures with a clawed hand in the direction of Wyll's sleeping form. "You could kill this one deliberately. I'm sure it will be considered a great show of good will. The tithe could still be yours..."

The beast growls and it resonates through her whole body; her skin tingles with the hunger. Yes. Tear him apart. Earn the prize. Let his blood spill out. A final act of love for you, to give his life under your blade...

A soft, whimpering groan escapes her and she squeezes her eyes shut. "You must be joking," she mutters, but the defiant words lack any strength.

Sceleritas's voice whispers in her ear, seeming to come abruptly from all around her. "I do not doubt you will act with the decorum befitting one of your rank..." A soft shimmer of magic dusts along her skin. "Good night, sweet Lady."

She opens her eyes and he is gone. Only Wyll remains, asleep, oblivious to the terrible conflict playing out at his bedside.

-----

(A/N: I fucking LOVE this next sequence for Rakha. For the most part, it fits incredibly well with a number of things I have already established about her story, her Urge, and her relationship with Wyll. However, it does have one critical difference which is that, as written in game, it assumes that she has not told anyone else about any of her internal struggles up to this point, which conflicts with a number of things I've written about Wyll and Lae'zel (and others) knowing about the beast and helping keep watch over her on the bad nights.

With that in mind, I have taken some significant artistic liberties on certain pieces of dialogue here. As usual, italic lines are ones from the game and non-italic are ones I've rewritten or replaced, and I've left footnotes with what the in-game actual dialogue was.)

-----

Narrator: Your companion rests blissfully, without a fear in the world.

She falls to her knees at his side. Her fingers twitch with the terrible urge to rip and rend and tear. The beast is roaring in her head, stoked to a fever pitch by Sceleritas's words and by all the blood she has denied it.

Reach forward to shake his shoulder and wake him.

Narrator: As your hand approaches his body, it wavers. It longs to close around his throat...

[SAVING THROW] Resist. Wake him up.

Terror grips her, widens her eyes to show the whites. With every ounce of resolution left to her, she slams one fist into his shoulder and then jerks backwards as his eyes drift open.

For a moment, still half-asleep and caught in some lingering dream, he only smiles up at her sitting at his bedside. "I love feeling you close..." he mumbles drowsily, reaching for her hand. "But are you sure..."

She can see the moment when the realization kicks in - when he moves from love to concern and fear. The transition claws at her mind.

"Gods..." he whispers, and reaches out towards her. "All right. It's all right. I'm here."(1)

She spasms backwards another step, out of his reach. Don't touch me. She is sure if his skin touches hers again she won't be able to control herself. "It's you--" she groans out. "It wants you--"(2)

At once, Wyll is up on his knees, all his focus coming to rest on her. His hands are spread in a gesture that is not placating but defensive - and she is glad to see it. He should be defensive; he should be ready to fight her off. She is an animal with almost no control remaining to her.

But he doesn't back away, just watches, waits. "You've got my attention," he says gently. Why is his voice so soft, even in this moment of crisis?

Narrator: As you tell your story, fatigue fills your body. Your head swims with the worst headache you've known.

For the first time she tells him everything, even the things she has held back - about Sceleritas, his deals and his tithes, his mocking taunts, his commission for Isobel's death. The words come out slowly, sticking in her throat, heavy with pain and underlaid with a hungry growl. Her head throbs blindingly, white and red by turns at the corners of her vision.

"The beast that killed Alfira will call again..." she finishes in a low, hoarse whisper. "My possessed mind will kill you..."

(A/N: BEAST! \o/ In-game called it the beast, I feel so incredibly validated rn.)

Wyll listens in silence to the chaotic, half-comprehensible explanation. His eyebrows knit together in a worried expression. After everything that has happened, there is no way he doesn't grasp the gravity of the situation, and yet his concern seems more for her than for himself, even now.

"All right. We'll figure it out," he murmurs, deliberately calm and steady against her hysteria. "I won't let you hurt me, Rakha, I promise. Just breathe-- breathe--"(3)

Narrator: Suddenly you become drowsy. Your vision blurs and floods with yellow bile, and you faint in a dizzy blur.

It happens so fast. The beast rises and roars, slipping out of her control, and her eyes roll up in her head. She collapses sideways and her vision slides away from her and for a little while she knows no more.

Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood.

Narrator: You are not yourself. All control is gone.

She wakes stretched on her bedroll, spasming and struggling. A painful bruise darkens her cheek; someone has struck her. Her hands are tied behind her back and she is being held down by someone behind her, someone with long clawed fingers. Lae'zel.(4)

Wyll is crouched in front of her, one hand resting on her shoulder, helping to hold her down. "Hey. Hey! Stay with me!" he calls softly.(5)

She can't breathe. Can't think. There is so little of Rakha, and so much of the beast. Flailing against the hands holding her back, she jerks her head forward in an attempt to close her teeth on his wrist.

Try to bite him.

He jerks back out of reach before she can land the blow. "Shit. This isn't good," he mutters, his eyes lifting to Lae'zel for a moment, then dropping back to Rakha's face. Undeterred by her animal ferocity, he returns his hand to her shoulder. She can feel the warmth of his palm through her thin shirt.

"Whatever fiend's got hold of you," he murmurs, "it's made a battlefield of your mind."

Narrator: Your hands are raw and bloody as every inkling of your Urge yearns to tear your bindings.

"Rise up!" Wyll says sharply. "Meet its gaze. Show it no fear. And grant it no mercy!"

She wants to fight it. She wants to be the sort of person that he would be proud of, the sort of person who could meet the beast and cow it, slay it. But gods, it hurts. It hurts... it's so hungry and it is tearing pieces out of her brain...

Growl.

It starts as a whimper of terrified pain in her throat and rises into a growling roar like a wounded lion.

"That's it--" Wyll says. His voice is sharp now, trying to rouse her; she can hear the fear in it, and a grief too. The grief is new. "Gather your mind! Slaughter the fiend that stalks you!"

She tries. She tries... for him, she tries, when it would be so easy to surrender, to simply let the beast take her. For him, she would fight until her last breath... but gods... gods, it hurts...

Narrator: The night passes sick and sweating, but bloodlessly.

-----

Somewhere in that long, terrible, endless night, she passes out again. It is not sleep, not really; her head still aches like there is a knife in her temple, and she can hear Wyll and Lae'zel talking in low voices. She can feel the rough dig of the ropes on her wrists, holding her still.

Dim images drift in and out of her awareness. Isobel's face with blood pouring out of her eyes. Sceleritas's mocking smirk. Wyll's throat cut. Lae'zel's back broken. The endless black pain of the corrupted dark that surrounds them.

It is a nightmare that seems to go on for several thousand years.

But slowly... slowly... she does wake up. And the beast retreats, beaten back for the time being, returning to its low background growl.

She opens her eyes and finds Wyll watching her. He looks exhausted, his eyes sunken into his face, and wary and terribly sad. He reads the expression in her eyes carefully, and whatever he sees there seems to satisfy him, for he leans forward and unties the bindings on her wrists.

She rubs at the raw, chafed lines where the ropes sat. The pain does nothing to distract her from her exhaustion and humiliation and terror. This is the worst it has ever been.

She can't look at him as he sits down in front of her again.

"It's all right," he says softly. "It's over."(6)

She doesn't answer. She feels shattered, broken in mind and spirit. She does not deserve his soft words or his reassurance. The truth is inescapable now. She is a mad animal with only the thinnest veneer of reason over it. She could have killed him...

He reaches out gently and takes her hand between both of his. His thumb rubs over her palm just below the scored line of the bindings. "How are you feeling?" he asks. His head dips, trying to get her to meet his gaze. "Talk to me."

What can she say? How can she explain the utter emptiness in her chest, the broken lost thing that she is? How can she even begin to make him understand?

She opens her mouth... but nothing comes out. She simply, and quite unexpectedly, bursts into tears.

Sob. Say nothing.

Even at her lowest points before, she has never cried. There have never been tears. She wasn't sure she was capable of it. But they stream down her face now and she sobs and sobs, all the tension bleeding out of her. And she doesn't resist when he closes his arms around her and pulls her tight to his chest; she just cries bitterly into his shoulder until the cloth of his shirt is soaked with it.

"Should this inner fiend seek battle again," he murmurs in her ear, "I'll give it one. Let it taste the edge of the Blade."

It's an attempt at reassurance, but it doesn't land. If she can't fight it, he certainly can't. Why does he persist in believing she is worth salvaging? Why does he hold her and soothe her after such a brutal display of bestial violence?

She wants so badly to be the person that he sees in her... but why does he not see that it is impossible?(7)

"You are allowed to hate me for this," she mutters brokenly.

"Hate you?" he answers, and though his voice is still soft, the words take on a sudden weight. "The coast would sooner be swallowed whole by the Sea of Swords." His fingers drift over her back, up the back of her neck, along the close crop of her hair. "You don't have to shoulder this burden alone..."

She doesn't understand him. He deserves so much better. But with no energy left, she allows herself to succumb to the comfort, just for a little while. It is the only peace that remains to her.

-----

(1) In-game line: "Gods, what's the matter? You look like you've seen a gravehound's ghost."

(2) In-game line: "You are in a lot of danger. We need to act fast."

(3) In-game line: "You wouldn't. You couldn't. Could you? You're not in your right mind. There are healers in the city, clerics who can help. You should've told me sooner - we could've figured something out. This is what happened with Alfira, isn't it? By Balduran's helm, if only I'd known."

(4) Artistic license. Lae'zel is not involved in this scene at all in-game, but I've already established in drabbles that she helps Wyll keep an eye on Rakha and the beast.

(5) I swear to god I had not seen this scene or knew anything of it when I wrote this drabble.

(6) In-game line: "Looks like you're back to your old self. Poor Alfira - if only she'd been so lucky."

(7) One of the dialogue options here actually is "I promise I will be the person you see in me," which is excellent, but Rakha absolutely doesn't feel capable of it at the moment.

[bardic-perdita]

I think I remember you saying that Zeke is a bhaalspawn but not necessarily a durge? What's his whole deal? Does he have the murder urges? Was he ever involved in the Bhaal cult or the absolute plot? How does the bhaalspawn stuff affect his BG3 run?

Oh yeah! I've never really dived into that on here have I? XD

This is very much me playing around with BG3 canon which is why I've been shy about sharing it. I apologise in advance to anybody that knows the lore of Baldur's Gate better than I do.

Story time under the cut (it's rather long):

In short, Zeke was born as a half-elf bhaalspawn during the previous Bhaalspawn crisis. Shrike is the 'Dark Urge' as we know them in the game, Zeke is just a random bhaalspawn that has been hidden away in the Hells.

Long version: He was raised in a temple in the Moonshae Isles, which has a very troubled past with Bhaal in particular. His parents were paladins and tried to raise him to be a paladin like themselves. However they grew afraid of him as his murderous urges started to become apparent. They believed him to be inherently wicked and used harsh discipline to mould him into a weapon for justice, but there was no love between them. Even though he was just a child, they denied him that parental love he craved. Their negligence only drove him to appear more cold and monstrous.

One day, the paladins of his temple captured an Archdevil and planned to destroy him as a sacrifice to their god (which, I haven't figured out yet). They placed the devil in the same holding pens as the young Ezekiel (as Zeke was known then), which was exactly what the devil had intended. The devil introduced himself as Caedes and empathised with the boy's plight; he knew how awful it was for people to see you only as a monster, and how cruel his parents were to keep him like a caged animal. He bemoaned about how scared he was of dying and how much he longed to be back home with his beloved, an erinye called Solaris. Moved by the devil's words, Ezekiel freed Caedes from his cage and immediately drew the ire from his former family. The devil gave him an ultimatum: stay at the temple where the paladins will surely kill Ezekiel for his betrayal, or return with him to the Hells where he will raise him like his own child. Ezekiel agreed to go with the devil. His final memory of that day is watching the temple being engulfed in blue hellfire. Caedes got exactly what he wanted: the spawn of a deity. One he could shape to suit his own purpose.

Caedes and Solaris kept to their word and raised Zeke like any mortal parent would. The influence of the Hells shaped his body as that of a tiefling; Caedes himself chose some of his tiefling traits such as his horns, which are identical to his own. Zeke often tells the story of how the first birthday party he ever had was arranged by devils. He just never remembered how many birthdays he had. He believes he's 26, but he's been 26 for over 70 years. Unbeknownst to him Caedes had bestowed on him a 'Charm of Agelessness' so, whilst technically mortal, he will never age without Caedes's consent. It was a strange childhood in Maladomini, but Zeke adapted to it well enough. His parents educated him on devil politics in their palace, and there was no shortage of fiends to fight to satiate the bhaalspawn's bloodlust.

After decades of struggling without infernal magic and relying on his 'father' Caedes to patch him up after every fight, Caedes eventually offered him a warlock pact. As part of that pact, he included a clause allowing him to treat Zeke 'as his own flesh and blood'. This meant that Zeke can be controlled completely by Caedes whenever he so chooses, essentially granting the devil a vessel to roam the material plane as he pleases. He uses this control mostly to modify Zeke's unpleasant memories to keep him pliable content, and keep him ignorant of his Bhaalist heritage. After the contract is signed, Zeke is dropped back into the material plane with no friends, no family (other than his 'parents' in the Hells), and no real purpose. He does some adventuring trying to help where he can, but he's just so incredibly lonely.

At the start of the events of the game, Zeke is captured whilst saving townsfolk from the nautiloid. He has no clue who Bhaal is, or what the intentions of the Absolute are, and he certainly has never been a part of any Bhaalist cult. His 'amnesia' is just cluelessness. He helps the other tadpoled companions because that's the right to do and he's so lonely. It does mean that he has no fewer than four presences in his head at any one time: Bhaal, Caedes, a mindflayer tadpole, the Emperor, and himself. No wonder he makes badly thought through decisions. It's very crowded in that brain of his.

[aparticularbandit]

An Escapade in Homelessness

Summary: Mukuro chooses the wrong time and place to get sick during her stint of being homeless. Fortunately for her, Akane is there to help out.

brought to you by @danggirlronpa said there wasn't any Akane/Mukuro content. Here's more.

Rating: T with the understanding that this is pre-canon and so there are implications of things that happened pre-canon that aren't discussed on-screen.

Additional TW for discussions of cannibalism and disturbing imagery.

AO3

They taught her how to kill, but they didn’t teach her how to live on the streets.

They taught her how to hunt people, but not how to hunt for food, and you would think that one would easily translate into the other, but it doesn’t.  Locusts are tiny and jumpy and fast, which makes them really hard to catch, and also you can’t shoot a locust without losing the locust, which makes it absolutely not useful for food.  You can’t shoot all of the bees around a hive without probably shooting the hive, which wastes most of the honey (and also means that she’ll probably get stung by a lot of bees, which no one likes).  You can’t really shoot a fish without having to worry about it dropping, and then it’s incredibly hard to find (because trust her, she tried, and it sucked, and then she tried to catch one with her bare hands, which works better but still isn’t great).  And people notice if their horses are missing or their cats or their dogs, and there aren’t nearly as many wild rabbits as you might think, and the patterns of how animals move and hide are so different from humans, and there aren’t enough forests around here for her to try and find fresh deer meat.  (She probably could strip a deer, if she could find one, but she’s been going through cities, not through forests, and even rural areas don’t have nearly as many deer as you’d think, and people get real upset if you try to snatch something from their livelihood – not that she minds, because she’s pretty good at not getting caught, but.)

If not for the sanctity of human life or whatever, she’d kill a person and strip them down and eat that, but that’s generally frowned upon in polite society.  Or any society, really.  Also she’s pretty sure her sister would care if she found out she’d been eating people, and not in the fun way.  (To be fair, she’d probably care if she found out she’d been eating people in the fun way, too, but she’d be more likely to use that for jokes than disgust.  Not that she’s done either.  She’ll probably hold that over her head, too.)

So while Mukuro’s not exactly starving when she stumbles into what is probably the bad side of town (all sides of town are the bad sides of town, some of them are just better at hiding it behind money and wealth and caring only about gathering everything they can get their hands on and not sharing any of that with the people who desperately need something to get by), she’s definitely hungry.  Her stomach is all sorts of fucked up because she hasn’t eaten enough and also the last thing she ate (raw fish, because she couldn’t get a fire started without alerting the wild animals, and she really didn’t feel like fighting any of them over her single fish, even if she would have won, even if she could have eaten their flesh later) isn’t quite sitting well – or that’s the bad water that she drank that looked good but apparently maybe actually wasn’t good.

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that she’s hungry and she’s sick and she’s tired when she slumps down in an alleyway that looks mostly abandoned, rests her head against a full bag of trash (it’s softer than the wall behind her, and it’s easier to hide if she does it among trash bags than flush in the open against the wall), and closes her eyes.

Now, Mukuro has a good concept of time, unlike some people, which means she knows that roughly fifteen minutes pass between the time she closes her eyes and the time she feels another girl nudging her with her crusty shoe.  (She knows it’s a girl because she doesn’t laugh.  Boys always laugh first, like she’s some secret stench that they’ve found and want to share to disgust their friends; girls nudge with their shoe because they want to check on her but they don’t want to get her stench on them, if they can help it.)

“Hey.  You alive?”

The voice confirms that this is a girl, at least.  Maybe if she plays dead long enough, the girl will leave her alone.

“Man.  I don’t wanna have to drag another body to the crema—”

“I’m not dead, you dweeb.”  Mukuro cracks an eye open and glares at the girl with dark skin and darker hair.  “I’m trying to take a nap.  So buzz off.”

The girl tilts her head to one side.  “Real shit place to nap.  Police’ll come by and scavenge you in about….”  She sniffs the air.  “Few minutes.”

Mukuro sniffs.  She can’t smell anything but the trash.  “I’ll kill ‘em then.”

“Yeah?  You a good fighter?”  The girl’s eyes light up.  “Get some food in me, and I’ll wipe the floor with you!”

Mukuro blinks.  “I thought I was going to fight the police.”

“Yeah, fight the scumbags later.  I’m more fun!”  The girl pops a hand on her hip and flashes Mukuro a bright smile.

Mukuro just stares at her for a few seconds and says nothing.  Then she curls up one side away from her, holding a bag of trash to her stomach like a stuffed animal.  (She’s only ever had one, a black bear with the cutest pinprick eyes, and Oto-sama ripped it in half with his bare hands.  Her sister sewed one of the halves to half of her white bear as a form of solidarity, but it didn’t matter.  It’s not like she could keep the bear with her anyway.)

“Hey, we gotta go!”

The girl grabs her shoulder – digs her grubby, shorn nails through the rip in Mukuro’s shirt to the skin below – and tears her out of the safe comfort of the trash, lifts her over her shoulder like she’s nothing more than a bag of trash herself, and sprints out of the alleyway.

“W-wait!”  Mukuro pounds her fists against the girl’s shoulder.  “Put me down!”

“Nah, you’da stayed in the trash heap, and then you woulda died, and I don’t feel like lettin’ someone else die right now, so you’re just gonna come with me, and then we can fight later!”  The girl grits her teeth together.  “You weigh nothin’.  You been eatin’ right?  Who am I kiddin’, you were in the trash, ain’t nobody sleepin’ in trash who eats right.  Did you at least check the trash for scraps?”

“I didn’t think about that.”

The girl groans.  “Man, you suck.  There was probably some good stuff in there, and now it’s all gonna be gone!”  She scuffs the toe of one shoe on the ground as she keeps running.  “Scavengers’ll get it while we’re gone!”

Mukuro tries to pull herself out of the girl’s grip again, but it’s like steel.  “I thought you said the police were coming.”

“After the police!”  The girl scowls.  “Whadda ya think I was doin’ there?”

Mukuro doesn’t answer that, too preoccupied with getting herself out.  She doesn’t like being carried, and she especially doesn’t like being carried somewhere she doesn’t know.  “Can you let me down?  I can walk, you know.”

“Nah.  You’ll just run away, and then we won’t be able to fight.”

“I didn’t agree to a fight with you.  You just assumed—”

Immediately, the girl drops her to the ground and glares at her.  “I just saved your life!”

“Doubt it.”  Mukuro shifts just enough to keep herself from landing on anything too important (a sprained ankle or wrist right now would not be great) and then pushes herself up.  Her eyes narrow as she takes the girl in.  “You wouldn’t even beat me.  You’re too scrawny for that.”

“Says you.”

Mukuro dusts herself off, although that’s pointless after trying to nap surrounded by garbage bags, and then holds out her hand.  “Mukuro,” she says.  “Ikusaba Mukuro.”

The girl stands at her hand.  “What’s that?”

“A handshake.  It’s a thing you do when you introduce yourself.”

“Uh-huh.”  The girl just stares at her hand.  “Looks like a good way to start a throw down.”

“I’m not fighting you.”

“Yeah.  You said.”  The girl doesn’t take her hand.  “Owari Akane.”  She stares at Mukuro and sniffs again.  “You hungry?  I’m always hungry.  You got anything to eat?”

Mukuro shakes her head.  “No.”  Whether that’s an answer to the first question or the second one is up to Akane’s interpretation; it’s a lie, if the first, but she’s not going to tell her that.  Her stomach recoils, and her face grows white.  “I haven’t been feeling so good.”

Akane steps back, away from her.  “You gonna get sick?”

“No.”

Mukuro’s actually not sure about this.  She absolutely could get sick at probably any moment.  She’s just not going to do it in front of this girl.  (She remembers what it is to show weakness in front of someone who would take advantage of it, who would only hurt her for showing it to them.  This girl wants to fight her for no reason; she refuses to show weakness to her.)

But Akane scowls at her.  “You’re gonna get sick.”  Before Mukuro can say anything, she grabs her and throws her over her shoulder again.  “I gotta friend who can fix you up.  But you better not get sick on me!” she says as she breaks out into a sprint again.

“I’m not going to get sick.”

Mukuro says that, but the problem with being manhandled and carried over someone else’s shoulder is that it does not help her stomach.  If anything, it just makes it worse.

But she’s not going to get sick.

She’s not.

(Force of will in the Ikusaba family is very strong.  She won’t get sick until she’s good and ready to get sick.  That’s how this works.

…most of the time.)

~

Akane carries a Mukuro who is doing her best to keep her mouth shut tight for ten minutes through alleyways and streets that she clearly knows better than the back of her hand.  Every now and again, she gives Mukuro a warning, and then jumps – parkours – from one wall to another to jump over a fence or barricade; at these moments, Mukuro digs her teeth into her lower lip to keep from heaving.  She would have been fine if Akane left her alone; all of these carrying and jumping is making things worse.  Finally, Akane jumps to the top of a wall, grabs hold of a window frame, and swings both of them through the window before dropping Mukuro unceremoniously on a dirty, stained mattress.

(Some of the stains are blood.  Mukuro knows what those look like.)

“Mikan!” Akane calls out, cupping her hands around her mouth.  The name comes out like two syllables as she calls it again – Mi-kan – like Rika calling out ni-pah! in that stupid horror show her sister found so fascinating.  (It was the games that the club members played with each other that she’d loved so much, more than the horror stuff; maybe, if Mukuro had stayed there, they would have formed their own club and had their own pranks and games, but she’ll never know that now.)  And again, her face scowling after a few seconds, “Mi-kan!”

Followed by the furious sound of someone running up the stairs and the appearance of a girl paler than Mukuro’s ghastly face with uneven hair the color of a fading bruise.  One of her arms and one of her legs are bandaged – opposite ones, like a fashion statement, although Mukuro’s pretty sure it’s not that.  The girl shuts the door behind her and turns to Akane with round, uncertain eyes.  “A-A-Akane, now is a…is a b-b-bad t-t-time—”

“But Mikan!”  Akane claps her hands together like a prayer and bows her head the slightest bit.  “You said if I need help to come see ya again!  And I gotta friend who needs help!”

Mukuro slowly pushes herself up.  “Friend is an…an overstatement.”

Akane shoots her a look.  “You’re gonna fight me, which means you’re a friend.”  She grins at her, a grin that quickly fades, brows furrowing in consternation, as she continues, “Except I kick the shit out of the assholes who try to steal my good stolen food, but you’re not tryin’ ta steal from me, so,” she grins again, “you’re okay!”

While they talk, Mikan slowly scoots over to Mukuro.  She holds a hand to Mukuro’s forehead, and Mukuro instinctively flinches away from her touch.  Mikan’s eyes widen.  “N-n-no!  I won’t hurt you!  I’m a….”  She hesitates, her face flushing.  “I’m not a…not a nurse, b-b-but I’m really good at…at taking care of people.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”  Akane crosses her arms and stares at her.  “I’m no good with sick, but Mikan’ll back me up.  Right?”

Mikan gives Mukuro a general look then nods.  “I’ll take very good care of you.”

“No.  I need to go.”  Mukuro tries to push herself up off the mattress, her stomach roiling again.  “I’ve got to get to Enoshima.”

Akane’s expression shifts, her eyes widening.  “What, like the island?  That’s where that other girl wanted to go!”  She crosses her arms and thinks strongly for a few seconds.  “It’s been a while.  But if you see her, you should tell her I said hi!”  Her face falls.  “Only I didn’t tell her my name.”

“What….”  Mikan looks up at Akane.  “What…girl?”

“I met her before I found you,” Akane says and shrugs.  Then she shoves Mukuro back down onto the mattress and sits next to her.  “You’re not gonna get there if you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Quit lyin’ to me!  I’ll beat it out of you!”

“P-p-please don’t fight h-h-here!”

Mukuro sighs and flops back on the mattress.  She hates to admit it, but there’s an element of truth in what Akane’s saying.  Even Fenrir hadn’t wanted sick operatives out in the field.  Being sick makes you more liable to make a mistake, to cause a fatality.  This might just be food poisoning, and she might be able to stick it out and move on just fine, but if Akane carrying her everywhere taught her anything, it’s that her stomach is not in any position for her to go anywhere just yet.  And a room with a roof over her head and a mattress under her back – even a blood-stained one – is better than curling up with a trash bag as a pillow.

“This is a safe place to stay?” Mukuro asks, staring at Mikan.  “You take care of sick people here, and they don’t have to worry about anything?”

Mikan’s gaze drops, and her hands draw up in front of her chest in small fists, an inadequate defensive measure against either of the people in the room with her.  “I can take…,” she starts to say, her face flushing.  “If you’re my patient,” she tries again, firmer this time, “I will take very good care of you.”

“Yeah, last time I ate from one of the dumps near that seafood place, she nursed me right back to better!”  Akane beams and pats Mikan’s shoulder hard enough that Mikan squeaks and curls tighter in on herself.  “The best part is she doesn’t cost anything!”

But Mukuro looks over Mikan and thinks that probably she does cost something, just not anything Akane can see.  “I’ll stay then,” she says and meets Mikan’s eyes when Mikan looks up at her.  “At least until I feel better.”

“So you are sick!”

“No.  I’m not sick.”

Akane just beams at her.  She grabs the lip of the window again and hangs half out of it.  “I’ll be back before you leave,” she says, “so we can have our fight!”

“A-A-Akane, if you…if you fight, then she’ll be stuck here l-l-longer—”

But Akane swings out of the window before Mikan can finish her sentence.  Mikan sighs and glances back to Mukuro.  “P-p-please don’t fight here,” she repeats, soft.

“I don’t plan on fighting her,” Mukuro says, “and if I do, she’s the one who will be stuck here.  I don’t think that’s a good return for her kindness, do you?”

~

The days pass – days, because Mukuro’s food poisoning gets worse before it gets better – and Mikan keeps an eye on her, just like she said she would.  Every day, Akane swings back in through the window to check on her, to see if she’s ready to fight, and every day, she swings back out with her tail between her legs, scowling because Mukuro hasn’t gotten better fast enough.  Finally, though, Mukuro does feel better, well enough to leave, but she has no intention of waiting for Akane to return to fight her.

“Tell her I said thank you,” Mukuro says as she laces up her boots.  She brushes her hands along her dirty clothes, even though it still doesn’t do much of anything, and then stands.  A myriad of knives and other weapons sit on the floor next to her, and she begins to hide them on her person again.

Mikan’s gaze drops.  “Sh-sh-she’s not going to be…to be happy about this.”

Mukuro glances at her.  “She won’t hurt you, will she?  You won’t last long in a fight.”  She’d tried to give Mikan some tips and tricks during her stay, but she’s not sure how many of them stuck.  Most of it was spoken; it would be better to stay for a little while longer and give her some actual practice, but she doesn’t have time for that.  She needs to get to Enoshima.

She needs to find her sister.

“N-n-no.”  Mikan offers Mukuro a small, sweet smile.  “I-I-I would be no good in a f-f-fight.  A-A-Akane knows that.”

Mukuro nods.  She hesitates, not wanting to give Mikan a hug but wanting to offer her some form of comfort regardless, and then reaches over and places a hand on her shoulder.  “Come find me,” she says, “if you ever need anything.”

“O-o-of course.”

Then Mukuro grabs the lip of the window the same way she’s seen Akane do, drops onto the nearest roof, and makes her way out of the city.

~

At the city’s edge, Mukuro finds Akane waiting for her with one hand propped on her hip and a big smile on her face.  She scuffs her boots on the ground and scowls.  “I don’t want to fight—”

“Yeah, I know!”  Akane walks forward to meet her.  “You’re leaving before you’re top notch, and I don’t wanna fight you when you’re all weak and shit.”  She shifts the strap of a backpack from her shoulder and then shoves it into Mukuro’s hands.  “It’s a lot of walkin’ from here to Enoshima, so I got you the best thing!”  She beams as Mukuro opens the pack.  “Food!  But not the kind that’ll make you get all sick again.”

Mukuro stares at the food in the pack.  Some of it’s bread, which won’t last very long at all, but most of it’s stuff that will last, at least for a little while.  Even further down, there are a few unopened bottles of water, which in her professional opinion is even better.  She’ll save those for later, to make sure they last just as long as possible.  She also won’t ask how Akane got any of it, not because that’s rude, but because she has a general idea and she doesn’t want to know.  Instead, she pulls out one of the bread rolls and hands it over to her.  “You need to eat, too,” she says, not looking up to meet her eyes.  “You have to be at your best when I come back.”

Akane’s eyes widen, and for a moment, Mukuro is certain she’s going to tell her not to come back.  But then she just grins.  “I’m always at my best!”  Still, she’s munching on the roll as Mukuro walks away, and when Mukuro looks back only a few seconds later, the roll is already gone.

This time, when Mukuro pulls out a roll, she stares at it for a few seconds before taking a bite.  It’s soft and warm and good and filling.  She takes another bite.

(She forgot to say thanks.  That’s okay.  Mikan will say it for her.)

[despairforme]

[teastarfall]

made something quick for the anniversary, happy birthday LN!! thank you for being such a massive comfort to me <33