#enjoy my crackpot thoughts and theories

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

Okay so after looking at IMDb with the rest of equally obsessed Critical Role TLoVM fans, I must say, if the cast list is truly accurate in that no one is missing…we’re not getting Percy back this season (which hurts my fangirl heart so so much) and Ripley is still on the lam.

That being said, here’s my final updated theory before Thursday:

Percy’s resurrection is going to be tied with Ripley more than it was in the campaign- since she’s still alive and kicking, the party still needs to deal with her and I believe that in doing so, it will end up freeing Percy’s soul and they’ll get him back then. (And, if IMDb isn’t hiding any cast members, this will likely happen in S4 during the Whispered One arc)

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Slight 14DWY + Blog Changes! 💖

(16/12/23)

Leon will now move away from Corland Bay when he’s 10 years old. Originally, I never really put that much thought into it because it won't be explicitly mentioned in the game, but I figured I might as well make it more accurate now ^^;

Teo is now 26 (instead of 27). Again, zero thought went into this aside from wanting a wider range of ages for the cast — but now I want him to be closer to Jae and Violet’s age — especially considering they were all childhood friends and Violet was in the grade below them.

Elanor is now 30 and Kiara is 29. In the 2017 version, Elanor was originally the eldest sister, but it just didn't feel right to change it in the 2020 version. Day 3 will still be lore accurate, but everything on this blog will need to be retconned.

14DWY Purple (unofficial) will now be changing from #A14BF4 to #9D64FD.

Not a change, but adding more clarification: Angel will still attend university (and Jae and Teo will still be their university friend), but whether or not they enrolled will remain ambiguous! Day 1/2 kinda insinuates that they studied something ("Teo attended some of their classes"), but I wanted it to imply that they could've attended orientation and/or took "mock classes" after high school to see what it's like as well. I may change a few lines in the demo (in the future) to reflect that.

Egg

I'd like to (hopefully) try to remind everyone that whenever I write about Angel on this blog, they are gender neutral. Because if my ass had a dollar for every time someone assumed they were female because of the cutesy/pink themes or how "soft" I made the MC, I'd have enough money to fund voice actors, translators, custom soundtrack, and pay the $100 Steam fee /hj

Changed the crackpot theory tag into an actual tag!! About time sdghjdg

(07/01/24)

Also not a change, but to solidify Haruko's appearance + Ren's likeness a bit more... Haruko is supposed to be an anime character with pink/blue hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. He's a modern day "sorcerer" (a reference to JJK, not a literal fantasy wizard lmao) from an anime called "Attack on Giants" (another reference to "Attack on Titan"); and is very kind, ditzy, and empathetic. All Ren has copied is his hairstyle, vibe, and demeanour. Ren isn't outright cosplaying Haruko, and it'd take an avid anime enjoyer to notice that Ren is attempting to mimic Haruko.

I'll make a poll one day, but I might change Ren's left sleeve tattoo to the spoiler-free placeholder I used in this artwork. A lot of people seem to prefer it, but I'll wait until the poll to make any final decisions.

I might also make another poll to see if perhaps a new BGM theme would better suit the demo. Because in my mind, the "summer/beach location" = acoustic guitar (rather than piano) — and for some reason I get lo-fi vibes from 14DWY??

I don't think anyone has picked up on this subtle shift yet, but Ren will mainly use "he/him" over "he/they" now (since Haruko is a he/him enjoyer 👍). [REDACTED], however, will still greatly prefer "they/he", and will continue to use them interchangeably.

21/02/24 — or search through Obsidian. (Future Sai here.... I have no clue what this means???? What??? T_T)

I'm gonna cut down on the Teo and Ren bullying on this blog (and in general). I don't find it fun anymore, and it genuinely upsets me when people put down certain characters to make others look better (i.e. "Ren has no ass which makes Leon superior >:)" Just say you like Leon... I beg T_T). It also makes me doubt whether Ren is genuinely a good character or not, and it's gross seeing y'all tear down people who genuinely enjoy Teo. Be kind.

(11/01/24)

Eventually, I'd like to turn this meme into an event in the 14DWY Discord to help create an actual landlord for Day 3. The current landlord has always been a meme-y placeholder (I thought the idea would be funny), but looking at how the game is currently, I want 14DWY to be more "serious". The current landlord will eventually be turned into an easter egg!!

Whether or not Jae had bottom surgery will now remain ambiguous. Everyone is now free to headcanon whatever they'd like, so long as it's not offensive or too OOC.

From now on, I'll also try my best to remind everyone that Jae is gay and Kiara is lesbian. I tried not to bring it up frequently because I was afraid it'd come across like "being gay" was their only defining personality trait, but I'm tired of people sending in asks that don't apply to these characters ^^;

I might move all of the curiouscat questions to this blog and archive the account. It's becoming too much of a hassle for me to manage 3+ social media accounts sgkshjj

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Lol remember the early days when there was an about-even split between people who thought that Gabriel would be Hawkmoth and people who thought Alim Kubdel would be Hawkmoth? Good times, good times. Speaking of Alix’s dad, how would you have had the show pan out with him being Hawkmoth instead?

I wasn't around to see it in real time, but I browse fanfics in rough chronological order starting from the beginning of a fandom, so I'm aware that this theory was a thing because I've read a good portion of the fics that were written pre Origins. (AO3 has a last update filter if you want to pair down your options for a less overwhelming selection or just enjoy fics from before certain plot points came to be.)

While I'm aware of the theory, I'm a little confused as to where it came from. Alim only has two brief appearances in season one. The first is from the start of The Pharaoh. In it, we see Alim telling Jalil that historical artifacts are not meant for testing crackpot theories:

Mr. Kubdel: Jalil, these types of frescoes are almost always the illustration of a legend. They called it a legend for a reason... Jalil: That's what everyone thinks. But I know it's real. I can prove it! Mr. Kubdel: Really? And exactly how are you going to prove it? Jalil: I just need to get my hands on Tutankhamun's scepter and recite the spell! Mr. Kubdel: Are you serious? Don't even think of touching that scepter. I'd lose my job on the spot. It's a priceless historical object! Not a toy! Jalil: Come on, dad! We have to try out the spell! What if Tutankhamun had found out how to bring people back to life? Mr. Kubdel: Listen, Jalil! That's enough! Get your head out of those papyrus scrolls and focus on the real world! This one! (leaves)

And his other appearance is from the start of Timebreaker. In it, Alim gives Alix the watch that is later revealed to be her miraculous:

Alix: They're Marinette's parents. You know, one of the chicks I hang out with? Mr. Kubdel: Yes, I remember. They make the best bread in the whole of Paris. (he notices one of Alix's sneakers) Couldn't you have made more of an effort to dress nicely? Alix: What do you mean? I took off my cap. (points to her cap) Mr. Kubdel: But this is a special day. Alix: Well, it's only a birthday. Mr. Kubdel: No, this is a special birthday (reaches inside his jacket pocket and brings out a watch) This family heirloom was made by one of our ancestors many, many years ago. It's been passed down from one generation to the next, on their 15th birthday. And today, it's your turn to inherit it. Alix: It's pretty sweet, dad. But I've already got a watch, synced up to my smartphone. Mr. Kubdel: But sometimes there's more to things than meets the eye. Let's just say that our ancestor was… (opens the watch) Ahead of his time. (Alix gasps) Of course, I'd understand if you'd rather me buy you a new pair of rollerblades. Alix: No, Dad! I'm stoked to have it. It's awesome, thank you! (her phone rings) Mr. Kubdel: Are your friends waiting? Alix: Yeah, but I don't wanna bail on you. It's cool. Mr. Kubdel: No, no, go ahead. (Alix stands up and grabs her cap) Now, take good care of it.

Based on these two scenes, Alim doesn't read like a villain to me. He reads like some sort of protector. If I had to pick a role for him, it would be the guardian, not the villain. After all, what better way to find missing miraculous than to go into a field that has you informed about all sorts of interesting archaeological discoveries? The fact that he's handing out a miraculous only elevates that potential, especially since Alim was smart enough to give it to the kid who was suited to be a hero while leaving Jali is be his conspiracy-theory-loving self.

Another variation of that is to have him (or Alix's other parent) be the rabbit holder and Alim is passing on the torch to Alix because it's time to start her training. He did say that the watch is handed down through their family and, if there's one miraculous that would need a lot of training, it's the rabbit. Plus a history related field is a perfect fit for a rabbit!

Of course, a villain might also go into a field like curation in order to find miraculous, but I'm really not getting villain vibes here. Part of the reason Gabriel makes such a good villain is that he has a clear, understandable goal: bringing back his wife. Alim has nothing like that, so to make him into a villain, I'd have to come up with a motivation for him and the only thing that I can think of is wanting to bring back his own seemingly missing spouse. That's not a very interesting route, though, since it's just a copy-paste of Gabriel's plot and I'd want Alim to be something unique unless you wanted to swap Adrien and Alix for some reason and just tell the same story with a focus on different characters.

I mean, you could make Alim have a motivation like protecting historical artifacts, but then why would he want the ladybug and the black cat? What wish would he be trying to make? Rewriting history won't protect it! I could maybe see a goal of rewriting history to stop a bunch of atrocities, but any historian would know that undoing a given set of atrocities means massive changes to history and it would likely just lead to different atrocities. You'd have to change how humans work or something equally messed up to make a world without atrocities, which makes it a pretty poor motivation as it would make Alim too cartoonish to really work. He'd feel like such a massive step down from Gabriel's complexity...

All of this is why I don't think that the show should have continued post Gabriel. I just don't see what motivation you can give a villain that isn't either derivative or a cartoonish downgrade. "I want to resurrect my wife" just hits different from "I want to take over the world."

To make Alim a villain in his own right, you'd have to redesign major elements of the show. I think a character with his background would work well as a master thief who collects historical artifacts for his own collection or to sell them so that he can live in luxury, but I can't picture his character sending out akumas to terrorize Paris. Ladybug and Chat Noir would go from action heroes to something more stealthy. Spies who are trying to track down Alim and stop his network, returning artifacts to their rightful owners. Not a bad concept for a show, but too different from Miraculous for me to pretend it's a good concept for a series reboot.

[neonscandal]

Do you think Megumi will come back? Do you think Itadori will sacrifice himself at the end of the work? Do you think we will get the story of sukuna's past?

Imma keep it a buck, anon. My thoughts have definitely changed since I initially thought about how everything would end. I have some ideas? But at the same time, some of my ideas hinge on the fact that Gege Akutami is a troll. A dirty, dirty troll who lies.

If you want my crackpot theories, expect some rapid fire thoughts below 👇🏾

⚠️ Spoiler Warning through JJK Chapter 247.

Here are my updated theories based on where we are in the story now but keeping in mind Gege's previous statement that, out of Gojo and the first years, either one will die or only one will survive.

ONE SURVIVOR

Yuji Itadori - I have some thoughts about Yuji in particular that I'm sure I'll find time to jot down this weekend but the way Sukuna keeps dismissing him... I think that's foolhardy and a bit of a red herring.

I think Nobara is still alive. She'll resurface and, together, she, Yuji and the gang will take on Sukuna!Megumi. Nobara's resonance would be helpful to use upon any fingers that haven't been consumed to attack remotely. Especially if buffed by Utahime and, let's be for real. I'm not convinced we've seen the last of Gojo (or Toji, for that matter) and it'll take the unification of everyone to take Sukuna out before he assumes his final form, as it were. Plus, this would close out Gojo's character arc properly. Revived and enlightened but no longer alone. He may no longer be the strongest which is why Gege keeps propping up characters like Higurama, for instance, as likened to Gojo. But he'll see the fruits of the world he fought for. Yuji will live burdened by everything he lost.

Otherwise, I think Gojo will live if only so Gege can cause even more torture to the man and anguish to us. Can't enjoy the afterlife with Suguru, loses Megumi and Tsumiki which is cruel and unusual, and loses the legacy of the world he was hoping to forge by saving people like Yuta and Yuji. To kill off Yuji out of everyone would be so atypical of most literary formulas but... the dark trio aren't exactly known for following any sort of script.

ONE MARTYR

Megumi Fushiguro - It's been hinted to us since the first episode hasn't it? Always a minor inconvenience away from summoning mutually assured destruction, even before we knew what the hand signal meant. Gege has a way of planting those details, don't they? Moreover, when picking up Nobara, Gojo sends Yuji and Nobara in after a curse to test out just how crazy they were...

Contrary to what I just said about Megumi constantly trying to die to win, what assessment had Gojo already made about Megumi? Megumi definitely broke bad against that special grade curse when they were working Tsumiki's case but, before that, did Gojo wonder if he had what it took despite having Ten Shadows? Someone made a post here a long time ago about how it takes crazy to survive in jujutsu society, hence the need to test the first years, but Megumi was always the sane one in the insane asylum. He's the Straight Man to Yuji and Nobara's chaos and comedy. He was there because he had to be, having been bought and sold into indentured servitude.

Again, it'll take everyone to take out Sukuna but, what's left of his soul after everything Megumi endures? He'd be the ultimate casualty. Still a knife in Gojo's heart (which I think is, like, a special bonus for Gege) and would also shift the paradigm of the SatoSugu dynamic wherein the born prodigy of ItaFushi is lost. Truthfully, I think Yuji is a prodigy, as well, so that kind of complicates the comparison? To have some semblance of a resolution though, I think it would have to be Yuji or Megumi who dies, ultimately. Especially since these were the two whose fate Gege wasn't certain about. As SatoSugu 2.0, I think, if the series were to go total darkness, then it would make sense that ItaFushi didn't escape the same fate as SatoSugu. Even if we typically see the MC’s right the wrongs of their forebears and break previously established cycles.

IF EVERYTHING IS A LIE

Now... if the story in Gege's mind has evolved since that statement (I think Gege buries a lot of ledes but also kind of think they like to twist the knife with whoever fans seem to gravitate toward...), these are a litany of my thoughts.

Kenjaku is dead. When he said his will would continue, he wasn't talking about his revival. He's talking about the complexity of his grand scheme being carried out whether he's there or not because of the deals he's put in place and the measures taken dating back literal centuries. I still think he pulled the strings for Geto's defection in the first place and can't tell if Mei Mei or Kong play a part in furthering this plan. I still think there's another big bad laying in wait, yet to be revealed.

If not another baddie, there is an unexplored facet of the afterlife or purgatory that I think plays into Kenjaku's overall scheme. Think about it... he absorbed Tengen and what is the land of the living and the land of the dead if not separated by a mere barrier? We've seen it with Nanami and Gojo post-mortem, but it was also hinted by Jogo when Hanami died. At the edge of life, it seems there is a commonality for humans and curses alike. Perhaps that's also what Larue was insinuating after Kenjaku officially absconded with Geto's corpse during the Shibuya arc. How would Kenjaku hope to utilize this to evolve his power/sate his curiosity, though?

We haven't seen the last of Toji. One, an anomaly like he and/or Maki have to help in setting right and laying waste to the paradigm that discarded them. Maki already got a taste of her revenge by wiping out the Zenin but I still think there's more to be had. Plus, there are so many details missing from Megumi's origin that have to be addressed and I'm expecting something key about his birth mother. Lastly, wouldn't it be an interesting redemption if Toji is who ultimately liberates Megumi? Team effort, yes, but Toji is like the last face Sukuna sees before expulsion or exorcism?

Nobara isn't dead, obviously. Again, her cursed technique would be a helpful way to remotely wear Sukuna down if you recall that there are still 5 fingers outstanding + how she was able to inflict damage on Mahito's main body by attacking his double.

I still believe Miwa could be a sleeping dragon.

Gojo will be revived. Call it hope, call it cope, I don't care. I think it's a necessary part of closing out his part in the story and, ultimately, a resolution to what started everyone down this course of events (which is another reason why Toji has to resurface). Lowkey, I think, barring the one survivor vs one martyr rule, I would say that Gojo and Megumi both dying would also make sense. Gojo gets his redemption and can finally abdicate his position as the strongest, leaving behind a semblance of the world he hoped to create. Still bested but successful. Megumi reunites with Tsumiki but, ultimately, Gojo and Megumi have that Apollo + Creed stalemate ending just like their forebears.

[ziploc849]

Ok making this post cause I’ve gotten a handful of new followers since posting about tma lol. Hi!!!!

You all seem very excited to see my reactions to things and I’m so excited to share all of my thoughts!! With that I wanna hear from you guys. If there’s a specific episode you wanna know my thoughts on when I get to it (or if it’s already passed, I’ll still relisten and tell you my thoughts) if there’s a specific character you wanna know my feelings on or certain things you wanna hear my probably crackpot theories about, please send asks, replies, DM’s, anything!!! I wanna at least have some moots in this community to chat with and you guys all seem really nice so far, so don’t be afraid to ask or interact!!!! I can be kinda awkward sometimes but I love all of it nonetheless!!!

Also, because I have a friend irl who is also listening to TMA but much slower than me (or maybe I just get hyperfixated and listen to too much at once) I have to wait for them to catch back up with me before listening to much more. This has quickly become a running theme, so posts may be a bit sporadic, and will probably be in bursts, but I promise I am thinking about this fucking podcast like much more than is normal I just. Don’t wanna leave my friend in the dust lol.

But yeah that’s it!! Welcome to the show, I don’t know what’s happening or how to put any of it into words very well but I hope you enjoy my madness ^_^

[justagalwhowrites]

Ok. So Halcyon theories...

Title of the book - Halcyon (??) By the way, I had to look up the definition of that word, so thanks for expanding my vocabulary!

I'm going to theorize that she wrote a fictional story, but it was strongly influenced and based on her intense high school friendship with Joel, drawing a lot of inspiration from her journals. I don't have any specific theories on the book, but Goldie's husband reads it, and, to him, it reads like a love letter to Joel, even if Goldie didn't intend it to be. He decides that he doesn't want to be married to someone with part of their heart living in the past. Fuckin' Brad, am I right?

I know that posting (or not posting) theories is not an endorsement of their correctness, but feel free to keep this private if you prefer! I'm also the crackpot who thought Mark might be Mitchum. I just enjoy getting to talk at my favorite writers 🙂

AHHHH bestie!!! I love these theories so much!

As per usual, I confirm and deny nothing 😌

But I LOVE theories! I get all excited that you care enough to HAVE theories, I like seeing what the content might be directing you towards thought wise and I think part of the fun of posting things like this in a serialized way is that people can share in thinking about it and wondering about it and bounce ideas off each other like a book club. So please, keep sharing!

Love you!!!

PS - I loved the Mark is Mitchum theory! If I didn’t already have a solid plan for Mark, it would have been an EXCELLENT twist!!

[trinitywc]

On chapter 15 of Endless Winter currently, and loving every moment of it but the lead up to some projects and finals is gonna gear up within the next week so I won't be able to finish as fast as I would like to. Given that, I wanted to verbally dog ear my place & jot down some thoughts before they escaped me (particularly my appreciation for the way you portray character dynamics and the nuance you provide that I could sit and stew on for hours).

I've been enjoying Rutherford and Pinefrost's interactions a great deal. I get the feeling he loves infodumping about his interests, and particularly likes how good a listener, as well as perceptive, that Pinefrost is. She's sharp in more ways than one! and I also particularly adore the way Pinefrost often uses his explanations and points when he is explaining things to her as an anchor for her wandering mind during the present in a way that doesn't make her feel as though she's out of the loop or excluded unlike past scenes when the gang is discussing whether to stay or leave the domicile. Those two bounce off one another so well, and in such a way that it makes it so apparent how isolated Pinefrost has been even amongst her surviving group, and even before that when Creek Clan was still intact. Her loneliness has been really keen in previous chapters, and it's nice to see her feeling like she has a companion that shows her just as many new things as she can with honing Rutherford different skills.

That being said, while I really enjoy Rutherford, I don't know if I trust him fully. He's been dependable and a great source of support for the group, but I can't help wondering about his intentions. Perhaps he just wants company! But it strikes me as odd that he's giving away resources when he was so skeptical of Pinefrost giving Sedgenose her fresh kill, and is directing them all out of the city purely out of the goodness of his heart and during the thick of winter, no less. It makes me wonder to what end he plans to act as a tag along with the group, and not to mention he'd have to make the entire trip back to the city by himself once they get to the river! He seems like too much of an intellectual city slicker to want to rough it with the gang when/if they reunite with the clans... clan??? (Creekwood consolidation with the survivors perhapseth???) Surely he's not doing all this JUST because he met our intriguing mule headed protagonist, could he?

Crackpot theory but maybe he's not leading them to where he say he is- but then again he hasn't lied even with the explanation of the atom to Pinefrost. Crackpot theory #2, he seems to have observed Pinefrost's reluctance to leave, and her feelings of insecurity that she confided over what they have the possibility to come back to with the clans and I have to wonder if he'll use that to either isolate her (unhealthy option) or encourage her (healthier alternative!!!) to stay with him instead. The summary certainly implies so! Crackpot theory #3 combination of both #1 & #2.

Then a random comment and some purely satirical jokes that are essentially nonsense, feel free to skip;

"She had one option, and that was through. Through the winter, through the atom."

SO INCREDIBLY METAL, LOVE THIS. HAUNTING, GUT WRENCHING, TRAGIC IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE- A CAR CRASH YOU CAN'T AVOID OR REDIRECT. So much of ch 11 in particular to be honest! Rutherford's entire explanation left me with dreams. I left it waking up and checking my little kitty cat's nose for black ash.

Pinefrost: Oh yeah we knew this would happen, sedgefrost had a vision from star clan that the great light would take us out :/

Rutherford: the FUCK? the HUH?

Everytime Sedgenose or Woolycloud have an interaction with Pinefrost, I'm that one twitter reaction video, "-and she's the mother, she's mother earth, she is mother gaia, she is YOUR mother 👁👄👁"

I AM ON THE FUVKING FLOOR WITH THOSE MEMES THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Good luck with your exams!!!

"I get the feeling he loves infodumping about his interests, and particularly likes how good a listener, as well as perceptive, that Pinefrost is" - It’s kinda shown but Rutherford starts talking to Sedge and Wooly first before diverting to Pinefrost, he couldn’t get the same conversation about the world and atom and stuff from them; they really just click. If they had a glass porch table and a bottle of wine they’d talk for hours and hours. They are both very curious cats, for better or worse.

"Those two bounce off one another so well, and in such a way that it makes it so apparent how isolated Pinefrost has been even amongst her surviving group, and even before that when Creek Clan was still intact" - they do have such good chemistry imho. I wanted Rutherford to be a friend for Pinefrost, genuinely. She is a very lonely little cat. As is he, they are both on each others level, she is able to understand his city/atom terms where other cats cannot, and he is eager to learn more about the world outside the city. Pinefrost needs that understanding/knowledge of the world to feel more secure, and Rutherford gives it her in spades.

"it strikes me as odd that he's giving away resources when he was so skeptical of Pinefrost giving Sedgenose her fresh kill, and is directing them all out of the city purely out of the goodness of his heart" -everything is a means to an end ;) As for your theories… i love em both. I love getting people’s midway theories!

There is no way but through!!!

[jarujaruj]

Hey Jaru, I saw your most recent video on the Gaster files. I enjoyed hearing your discussion, and it made me think of an admittedly crackpot theory of my own. Something similar may have already been proposed, so apologies if you’ve already heard this before.

The theory is the world of Deltarune has already been destroyed by the start of the game. When the voice speaks to the player, The Roaring had already come to pass due to the heroes failing to prevent it. The voice wishes to change the outcome of this by sending the players character back to a point before The Roaring, the point where Kris meets Ralsei for the first time. This is shown in the tweet where the voice looks forward to creating a new future with you.

With how many times the program has been run, many different timelines have been created, reset, and erased. Some characters such as Ralsei and the shadow crystal holders have become wise to this, with Jevil and Spamton going insane due to the revelation. Seam may also be aware of this due to them talking about the futility of the heroes’ actions. With how often the timeline has been reset, Ralsei knows to expect certain things happening, which is why he gets caught off guard with the Noelle and Susie scene not playing. This could be a parallel to the girl from Skies Forever Blue, who’s actions change after the game is reset.

The game tries to hammer in the point that your choices don’t matter because the events of the game have already happened, meaning no matter what you do nothing will change the fate of the world. This would also be why the Steam page advertises only one ending and why the license agreement tells you to accept everything that will happen, since everything has already happened. This does not stop the voice and the player from trying everything possible though, leading to the timeline being reset constantly in search of the happy ending that may not even exist.

The conflict would stem from a misguided attempt at trying to save the world, instead subjecting everyone to an endless cycle of destruction while chasing something that can’t be reached. Instead of Flowey resetting the timeline because he doesn’t care about anything, you would reset the timeline because of how much you care about the characters and their stories, trying everything possible to save an already doomed world. Just like at the start of the game with the avatar you’ll be forced to discard something that you’ve put time, effort, and probably love into, all because there’s nothing you can do to save it.  

This is just something I thought of in the spur of the moment, so it probably has a few major holes that I’ve overlooked. I also refer to the player as the character the voice interacts with, but it could easily be an in-universe character like you believe. Anyways, thank you if you’ve made it this far, and I hope it was of some interest to you

Very fun! And very interesting! I would not be surprised if this turned out to be somewhat close to the truth!

[thenegoteator]

same anon from the english degree asks (feel free to ignore— also, how are things going? you mentioned that u were at the end of your degree, so i hope that’s been doing well?:D) — who has, in fact… done a complete heel turn, crossing off most degrees on their list ‘n contemplated going into education, lol. however- history, i haven’t crossed off bc 1) i like studying it at school, oppo. of eng, and 2) idk much abt the degree? so- if it’s not too much trouble, what’s it like studying history?:D

heya anon!! things are sure going, thank you for asking!! currently writing my thesis so I am living my best life and also going through the agonies. such is life I suppose

heel turns are just part of the process!! knowing what you don't want is just as important as knowing what you want. wishing you all the best!! either way, history! my beloved, my beloathed, the thing I prefer of my two subjects but the thing I'm also objectively worse at--

(under a cut because I am not concise, dear goodness, apologies)

as always, this depends very much on your university and the system you're in! In my case, we had a couple of broader courses in the first two years and were able to specialise further in honours. the thing about history is that it encompasses SO MUCH and it's unlikely you'll vibe with everything. so a lot of options, but also a lot of decisions.

studying history at university is often different from high school - mainly in terms of complexity and forms of assessment. not sure if you've come across historiography yet, but it's half the battle of uni history courses - essentially, whenever you study a subject you simultaenously study how historians have thought about it and argued about it over time. that then informs your argument when you write essays, which in my experience you do a LOT of. other forms of assessment can be primary source analyses, and maybe quizzes? though I haven't really had many of those. but it really is a very essay and reading heavy subject which can be overwhelming when you first arrive. there will be a lot of scholarly articles/books/etc as well as primary sources which can be difficult and time-consuming to understand. worthwhile!!! important!!! but not easy.

I think ultimately a history degree is what you make of it - it does teach you good skills. we also walked into our first intro class and got told "you're all here because your parents wanted you to do law" which,,,, hdkljflkdsjflkdsf. it might make you a bit more weary of popular representations of your favourite interest, and it might make you a bit more sensitive to nuance and complexity in real life. of course it might also not do that, there are plenty of idiots with history degrees out there lol.

personally, I really love my history degree - I enjoy learning about frames of reference, about individual people in Historical Situations, I love the little detective work of hunting through digitised microfiche scrapbooks in the national library of australia to form a crackpot theory of who made the photo album I'm working with. but I know not everyone loves it, and that's also ok!! it clicks with how my brain works, but that doesn't have to be the case for everyone.

[polrification]

Hello! I came here after reading your fics and I want to say I'm a fan of your writing. I like both the Eye(Spots) and Son of Al-Ahmar series ^^ After reading your most recent fic, I'm curious about Alhaitham's dendromancy and anemomancy. I assume he can do those w/o a vision? So does that mean his vision is fake?

Hi there!! First off thank you so much for reading my fics?? Will repeat this to the end of time but thank you thank you thank you so much!!!?!??!!! (<- is enthusiastic about the prospect of other people enjoying their works)

Okay so I've spent one too many time thinking about this and also this is very much a headcanon that applies specifically to fics under Child of Al-Ahmar since I can write Eye(spots) in a way that could suggest that he is very much just a Normal Human with floating eyes made out of glass panes

Short answer: I'm still unsure as to if I wanna go the Mona route and say that the Vision was a sort of side effect of coming into contact with an empty vision casing after having mastered using an element without one, or if I wanna go the Archon-in-Hiding route and say the Vision is a fake

Longe answer: A lot of explanation is required. Ramblings start now my friend. Hope you are ready

So the dendromancy and anemomancy. This actually came about because I was unsure whether or not Visions had existed as a thing in Teyvat during the time he would have been alive. I was unsure about this because a couple friends and I went down a sort of crackpot-ish train of thought and several hours, a few lore videos, and one discord call later, we sort of had this theory that visions may have started appearing after the first instance of forbidden knowledge.

This is entirely crackpot and I am not sure if this has basis but I think there's an ashikai video that mentions something about visions not being a thing in a certain part of teyvat's history I'm not sure

Anyways, for my sanity and also to spice it up for myself a little bit, I made it so that yes Al Haitham could control dendro and anemo without a vision. I think mayhaps he focused more on dendro cause of Rukkhadevata's (rip) influence over his studies but since Al-Ahmar (who is rather heavily implied to have been a wielder of anemo, being called a god of the skies and the likes) is his father.

Maybe Al Ahmar would have put some sort of natural anemomancy into the bodies he made for him (but then that goes into the territory of that even being possible and while yes I could have lookef to scara for this query I am unsure if the lightning powers he had in the AQ were a thing Ei had given his body or if they were a thing from the gnosis and a lot of other questions between how haitham and scara would've worked and their differences because of the intent they were designed with and oh wow I am getting off topic)

So now, the question: Is Al-Haitham's vision fake?

The answer depends, although I'm leaning more onto it being fake

I'm gonna explain the possibility that his Vision is real first, just bear with me for a little bit

So you know how in Mona's character stories, she says that she didn't need a vision to do hydromancy and that she only received a vision because she came in contact with a pre-existibg, empty one? Yeah.

Now I know for Mona it only involved a single element but as we know in Child of Al Ahmar, Haitham is noted as using two of them so for my sake I assumed that, in this scenario, the Vision would pick based on the elemental prominence that certain element would have versus the other one within that person's body/spirit. Please tell me if this makes sense I would be happy to explain more if needs be

Anyways, if we go over to saying that his Vision is fake, that involves less thinking and less Implications do it makes more sense. The problem, I guess with even both of these possibilities is that if he was seen using anemo then he qould be questioned and that brings in the Implications of wielding multiple elements with only one vision and the stuff. I know there's that thing with Kazuha but that is another can of worms and that one involved two visions so that doesn't really apply in this situation

(Also I have this absoutely buckwild piece of crack that explains to me some things and that is if Visions only started appearing after the first leak of Forbidden Knowledge (aka the days when Al Ahmar died) then maybe people who were masters of certain elements/had high amounts of elemental energy in them, then they didn't need to be given Visions immediately. This can apply to scenarios where Haitham's vision is either real or fake)

Uhh anyways thank you for listening to me ramble. I think its easier on the brain to say that Haitham's Vision is fake and he's just good at hiding the fact but if you are a fan of The Implications then you can say that the Vision is real and maybe something similar to Xiao's vision situation

I may be able to explore the concept of visions in Child of Al Ahmar if I get on with the idea to do a fic centered on Al Haitham adjusting to Rainforest lifestyle (and also maybe identity shenanigans cause I mean in this au he's lived for maybe thousands of years, identity shit is bound to happen) except the transition period is really hard for me somehow? You gotta do timelines and honestly with Genshin's timeline being as it is, tis a very foreboding task

Thank you again!!! Probably took a bit of your time to read this rambling explanation but I hope you don't mind ^^

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Winchesters Pilot

So, I have SO much to say!! (Legit this post is as long as some of my fics!!)

I watched the episode twice. Once to just watch it, and then again to take notes. And I have a LOT of notes! Lol! 😁

But I'll start by saying that this post will be mostly vey positive, (with a few things noted that I didn't love) so if you really didn't enjoy it, or you just hate watched it, you're probably not going to agree with anything I say here.

But if you also had mostly very positive feelings, or even meh 🤷🏼‍♀️ it was okay feelings about the pilot, come on in under the cut and read all my rambling thoughts and opinions and then let me know what you think!

(I will delete hateful comments.)

Also, I wrote this in the middle of the night and didn't do a great job proofing, so there will probably be tons of mistakes. Sorry!

Okay, so I'm gonna break this into 5 categories.

1 - The Characters/Actors

2 - Easter Eggs

3 - Things I didn't love/Would like to see improved

4 - Things I really liked/LOVED

5 - Possibly Crackpot Thoughts and Theories

Okay, here we go...

1 - The Characters/Actors:

Carlos played by Jojo Fleites

I am already so in love with Carlos! He is an amazing character and I'm very interested in hearing more about his past. For instance, if he lost his family young, who raised him? Lots of potential there!

And can we talk about how fantastic Jojo is, especially considering they've never worked professionally in anything else?! 🤯🤯 They have such a natural and easy feel for comic timing. But even more amazing, I feel like they have something deep inside them, a kind of old soul, that's gonna allow them to play the more serious moments really well too! Can't wait to see more!

Latika (Lata) played by Nida Khurshid

I'm very interested in her character as well, she seems to be the character with the most on the surface, meaning that at this point (so early on obviously) she doesn't seem to be as deep as the other characters in the quartet. But of course that may change. She's obviously the brains in the bunch, but I hope they develop her more beyond that, of course. I'm also interested in those two little moments where some sparks were present with John. Very interesting, indeed!

Nida plays Lata with a lot of heart and charm, and I enjoy her presence whenever she's on screen. She imbues Lata with a softness that, like Mary, I'm worried will be lost as the character enters hunting full time.

Mary Campbell played by Meg Donnelly

Mary is about what I expected her to be. Someone who has grown up in the life and is sick of it, never having been given a choice or any other options. I do find it telling that when John asks her what she plans to do after she stops hunting, she doesn't have an answer.

I also found her telling John that their family has no secrets really interesting, such a difference from how Sam and Dean were raised, where John kept most everything a secret and on a "need to know" basis.

Now, as to Meg's portrayal, I will say this is one of the flaws I found in the episode. Not her whole performance by any means. There were moments where the chemistry between her and John (and her and the rest of the quartet as well!) was great, and her line delivery was funny and enjoyable. But there were definitely times where I found her delivery to be a little wooden. But, she's very young and she hasn't been in much of anything outside the Disney Channel, so I'm sure she'll improve, and she has a lot of potential. I'm not worried about it!

John Winchester played by Drake Rodger

So, okay - I'm just gonna say it outright, I LOVE this version of John and, ESPECIALLY Drake's portrayal of it.

I've said it many times and I'll say it again, I don't hate the character of John. I think after Mary's death he made some truly rotten parenting choices. I think he let obsession and grief take over his life to the detriment of his sons lives.

But I've never hated him, only seen him as a deeply flawed anti-hero. But I've always loved the character of "Young John" that Matt gave us. And I feel like in this iteration of John, Drake gives us a really interesting blending of both.

Obviously his lack of knowledge is on full display, but at the same time, he's all in. He's not shying away from the fight, or from making the sacrifice. He's literally already gone after a monster so that Mary could get away. Which is 100% the Winchester way! (But I love that Mary didn't hesitate to act either and that it took both of them to get the monster.)

This is a John that has been hardened a bit from the Marines (and definitely suffering some PTSD from the war) but without the all-consumimg grief of having his wife ripped brutally and suddenly out of his life by some unspeakable evil. He is, as Mary calls him, "too sweet" compared to the John we know from SPN.

And I think Drake was the PERFECT choice to play him. He has the kind of gravitas to play the serious moments, but is also really funny and quick in the lighter scenes. His face is so full of expression, and imo, he looks quite a bit like both Gil, and Jared and Jensen. Like, you can see there being a family resemblance! His eyes are obviously a different color than JDM, which is a bit odd, 😂 but superficial physical traits like that can be overlooked easily when everything else is so right.

I have a lot of high hopes for the quartet going forward!

2 - Easter Eggs:

I'm sure there were tons more, but here are the things I noticed:

The sort of "growling" in the title card, the like, sputtering and growling just like SPN S1.

The way Mary turned on the lights in the MOL bunker for the first time, with the giant metal lever - it was the same way Dean did it the first time he and Sam entered the bunker.

The file that John's looking through in the bunker says D. Nutter on it, a reference to David Nutter who directed the SPN Pilot. 😍

The demons sounding like they did in Phantom Traveller when they talk, with that echoey, growling voice. Phantom Traveller was the very first time the boys went up against a demon in the show and the demons never sounded like that again. (Or is it an Easter Egg?! Read my conspiracy theories to see other possibilities.)

The demon smoke looks more like the demon in Phantom Traveller too. More possible conspiracies. 😁

The anti-possession symbol as charms. But seriously they lose them so easily, someone has GOT to figure out the tattoo thing! 😂

3 - Things I didn't love/Would like to see improved

K, I've already mentioned my small issue with Meg's performance and I'm not gonna keep harping on it.

The Loup-Garou was pretty cheesy. I can't tell if it was meant as an homage to early SPN monsters or if there just wasn't enough money in the budget? Lol!

The somewhat cheesy music that played during "moments" between John and Mary - like when they first bump into each other outside the theatre, or in Ada's place when they keep looking at each other and then away. My subtitles said, (sentimental music) and I thought yeah...and I'm not a fan. Lol!

4 - Things I really liked/LOVED

As you'll notice this is a much longer list!

Calling the MOL "Paranormal Free Masons" made me laugh. That tracks!

Also, calling sulfur, "Demon B.O" 😂

That they keep calling the MOL bunker a "clubhouse". The super pompous MOL would have hated that! 😂

John saying that he hated his father for keeping him away from everything, but that he still loves him too. That contrast with how the boys, in some ways, hated John for bringing them into everything, and yet, they still loved him too. It's just genius writing from Robbie!

Deep conversations while driving? Yes please!

Also, Carlos' van is a big yep for me!!

Even if the Loup-Garou was a little cheesy, watching John kill his first monster by lopping its head off, was VERY satisfying to me!

The similar sound design and score for the show kinda killed me throughout. But then to hear the SPN/Winchester theme play when John is talking to his mom at the end, about saving people and hunting things - UGH!! made me really excited and DEFINITELY teary! 😍😭

Having Gil do the voiceover for Henry's letter was AWESOME! ❤️

And of course, I mean - Dean driving away in Baby and basically telling us he's gonna be in the driver's seat, ie. he's gonna be steering the story - just fuck yes!! I trust him with it completely!!

5 - Possibly Crackpot Thoughts and Theories

Okay, so of course, I have absolutely no idea if anything I write here actually means anything, but it's fun to speculate and guess!! 😁

John says, about the letter from Henry with the MOL Bunker key, "A man I never met gave me this." Is this man he never met, Dean?!! He says he vanished. Like as though an angel zapped him back to where he came from?

Did the Akrida already tear at existence and pull some things apart, and this is Dean trying to set them right, finding the "pieces of the puzzle" as he calls them?

So, as to the demons sounding and looking more like the first time we see them in SPN, as opposed to how they eventually looked, even just later on in SPN S1...is that just a little Easter Egg for us, or is it a hint that they'll be playing around with what we know about demons? Or is it just the effects they had handy? Lol!

The fact that John's mom knew about Henry and the MOL, was she more involved with them than she's saying? I mean they were pretty secretive!

Okay, that is all my rambling thoughts after watching the pilot! I really, really enjoyed it. I feel like it does have a feel of SPN, while still setting it's own tone. The simple fact that it's a foursome and not just a twosome, already changes the dynamic. But, it's wonderful to see the "family don't end with blood" sentiment alive and well!

Also, it's wonderful to see the diversity represented in the main cast, since that was a criticism of the first series, not enough diversity. Now, it's built into the main characters, which is wonderful.

This was a great first episode and I can't wait for next week!

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

Initial thoughts TLoVM Episodes 7-9

(I know I’m late on this but I had seen these with my fiancé and wanted to be present with him so I had to collect my thoughts afterwards 💜)

CERBERUS ASSEMBLY and residuum!!!

Trent icky thong!! (C2 watchers know)

Lmao of course the party knows they fucking - my horny babes (Perc’ahlia)

Head empty just glintshore. We’re here omg

THEY’RE GONNA HAVE HIM CONFESS HIS LOVE NOW?!?! Omg this is gonna hurt I’m not sure I will be ready

Is pike a blood mage?? (dragon age- hi!) I’m so curious where they’re going with this I need to know more

This fear gas is…so painful

Percy kidnapped again (I feel like I also read this fanfic?)

This fight sequence is so good. A+ on Percy combat

Forgiveness and mercy and justice AHHH

no one touch me. I can’t handle this. This is so painful

RIPLEY IS BEING KEPT ALIVE?? okay this makes sense she’s a great villain but she still has Cabal’s Ruin??? Ahhhhhh

Okay this song kinda slaps??

I had a feeling they’d do a flashback to his first meeting VM!!!

Wait. A FUNERAL??? Are they not gonna resurrect him???? Is he gonna stay dead?!?!? WTF. Wait what????!!

Im not okay. Vex. No. Im not okay.

The arrowhead!!!!! THE arrowhead!! I REPEAT: the ARROWHEAD 😭😭😭

I KNEW IT. Vax would get his shit together after Percy’s dead I fucking knew it

Congrats Vaxleth! Welcome home!

Awww Scanlan’s song for Kaylie??? (I hope we hear it this season!!!)

YES TELL HIM THORDAK IS THE ONE WHO KILLED ELAINA

Allies assemble!

Vex and her father!! Im NOT OKAY. (The connection to truth being leverage? Connection to Percy’s intro to VM???!?! Amazing! Chefs kiss!)

Im crying. Everyone’s here 😭

Battle battle battle (I’m still hurting! I miss Percy and Vex’s sharpshooter duo 😭)

Wait a minute- is this a trap? (*insert Pike “it’s too quiet”*)

It’s a trap.

Omg this level of death and destruction is horrendous. Oh my god.

KASH AND ZAHRA ARE BACK MY LOVES!!!

ha! Kash is not hung up on you, Keyleth- sorry 🤣

Grog and Scanlan breaking omelettes omg haha

Wait. Kash???? No. No, this isn’t supposed to happen???? No? What? This isn’t canon????

The Matron?? Does this mean it’s perma death?!?

Omg SCANLAN?? wait it’s not supposed to happen like this? Or this early??? What?!??

PIKE’S BADASS MOMENT OMG!!!

Raishan- oh she is helping (I can’t remember how it happened in the campaign, hmm)

VAX AND THE FLASHBACK TO ELAINA AND THORDAK’S DEATH!! It’s everything. OMG. Cinema. Beautiful.

At least Scanlan is in a coma and not dead? Maybe that’s his “death” in the campaign? (Bard’s lament is so coming!!)

Raishan that bitch. (I remember them going after her in the campaign after Thordak’s battle but I don’t remember her taking his body? What’s happening?)

IS IT THURSDAY YET OMG

—————————————————————

Theories:

Maybe they’re changing Vax’s borrowed timeline to it being him bringing Percy back? Or maybe my previous dawnfather theory has some weight? Idk and I’m both scared and excited how things are changing (especially with Kash dying it feels like anything can happen!!!)

Pike’s blood. What are they doing with this? Im so excited!!! —She might be linked to a god and I think she could even be somehow a descendant of The Everlight from the Calamity (I know Downfall was filmed after TLOVM S3 but I believe it was known canon that the gods did pose as mortals pre-calamity)

We know they’re linking Zerxus to The Whispered One— Zerxus was godless in ExU Calamity but I’m wondering if they’re deciding he followed The Everlight (redemption - since that was his big thing) and felt abandoned by her so that’s how he could sense Pike?

[skeletonthecreator]

hm so. now that its been a little while after the update and ive had time to Digest. my thoughts on the whole is wild dink thing

i honestly dont think he is that out of character. like, wild has gone through a lot of trauma involving losing loved ones. he has been shown to be emotional and lash out in the past. i could totally see all his actions atm as being a trauma response in a stressful situation

but on the other hand, some of the smaller details dont add up. wild shouldnt know where the village is. when he walked away, he walked in the opposite direction of the village. he wasnt wearing his cloak earlier, and his earrings look like theyve changed as well. he was out of breath, so if he really ran all the way there, how would he have had time to change? and then theres the sheikah slate looking missing in some shots but looking like it might be there in others

could those all have just been stylistic choices? totally! and if they are i totally respect that, bc god damn does that cloak look cool as hell in that anakin-y shot. i just enjoy crackpot theories like this lmao

ig what im trying to say is like. it could very well go either way. i think either outcome would be awesome, and i cant wait to see where jojo takes the next update

[deadmunds-ghostbee]

Agree with all of your points about the clip, especially 1 & 5. I agree “Girlboss” can be reductive, but I’m concerned they’ll go that direction with Kate. The dialogue from today only reemphasized this. The “chattel” and “broodmare” lines…I just wish they’d be more subtle and less trite if they must. “Girlbossing” Kate would be so cheap and a disservice to her character imo.

About the costuming/tiara, it is *so* different from what we’ve seen her in so far—the rather simple/unadorned gowns in rich, jewel tones—that it must be for good reason. I would guess that since it’s the first ball of the season, Mary made her wear it or something. It definitely doesn’t seem like her style. It’s so twee and fussy, more than Daphne even, while Ascot Kate was dressed quite regally.

While I agree her lines were a bit trite, I think that can be overlooked if you choose to ignore it. My main concern is that any modern feminism they inject into the "enemies" stage of their relationship may exist solely as a vehicle for another takedown of his ego instead of beliefs she's developed due to her experiences and hardships. Something for the audience to "woop" at even though its placement entirely surrounds the male. Maybe that's what "girlbossing" really is, I'm not sure.

But it also might not be that way. It's far too early to tell, and in my list (#8? lol) I said I think their middle and end is much more important to capturing ~them~ than their beginning. A couple of lines about "broodmares" and "chattel" or whatever else in the first couple of episodes while she's on the marriage mart won't ruin her character.

I think that's my main point with #5. It's always female characters that get "ruined" or suddenly become unlikable in adaptation. And then other women who still enjoy that character or even agree with what she's saying get looked down on because that one character suddenly becomes a projection of her beliefs. I know we discourse about it because...we want to see actual strong female characters? But at the same time, policing this stuff when it doesn't affect any real people or promote racism or homophobia is only creating a negative environment.

In season 1, the feminism was a little more central because of all the stuff about reproductive health. The real meat of this story is about fear and grief and them overcoming/embracing irrationality in its many forms. Anthony and Kate can connect through all this because it's not gendered in their VERY gendered society. So because of this, lets just hope we don't have to talk about this stuff too much in the future. Not enough to warrant four paragraphs haha.

Now, with the dress. YES I hope it's a freshly debuted look. Maybe even Lady whistledown will comment on her looking uncomfortable or stiff in it? (Or lol when Kate starts dressing more simply thats when she gets ridiculed. Idk what we can put past tv!penelope anymore). In regards to the necklace/tiara I have a mostly-joking crackpot theory on twitter about how all the Sharma assets are tied to jewels (because Mary's tradesmen was a jeweler) and they suddenly came into a lot of money due to liquidation in precious stone and that's why they debut. I know Nicola's jeweled comment was probably just jewel toned dresses but I enjoy being a bridgerton conspiracy theorist.

Thanks for the ask! I've had a lot of thoughts about this stuff and feel better putting it into words!

[dlamp-dictator]

The Part Where Allen X Vents for a Few Paragraphs About Fighting Games

Continuing on my trail of clearing out my drafts, let’s talk about talk about fighting games for a bit.

For the past few years I’ve been having some mixed feelings about the genre. This was one of my favorite genres once upon a time, and it still is to some extent. I still love how expressive and colorful a lot of fighting games are, the unique animations that show character, the bombastic and subtle designs of characters, and even a few members of the community that have nuanced opinions on the genre as both a form of play and a business model. I still love a lot of the stories and characters in the handful of the series I’m invested in. I still love playing and learning new techniques and combos in some of the older games. There’s still a lot I love about fighting games, but it feels like lately a lot of the fun I get from these games are being removed with the latest entries coming out. And the conversation around fighting games, to me at least, is starting to get more and more divisive and hostile.

And after trying a few of the latest fighting games like Guilty Gear Strive, Melty Blood Type Lumina, and even dabbling in some indie games has left me feeling a little frustrated. I don’t really know how to explain this concisely either. So to that end I think I’ll just... well, ramble a bit. Bare with me folks, this is less an opinion piece essay more so me writing a lot of my immediate thoughts off the cuff. I’ve been asking myself about this for months and I think it’d do me some good to just type out my conflicting feelings and have something on record so I stop mumbling to myself about this.

But to that end there is one thing that indefinitely frustrates me about modern fighting games.

Allen X Hates the Fighting Game Community™

I know I made a slight joke about it here, but I really do mean it. Very few times I have seen and engaged with the Fighting Game Community™.

And yes, you do have to add the trademark symbol.

Folks... I can’t stand most internet fandoms in general. To me, it always sounds like a bunch of talking heads prattling on about things they either know little about or will stretch the little they do know about into a bunch of worthless crackpot theories and opinions to obsess over until they froth at the mouth if or when proven wrong. And the the Fighting Game Community™ had done little to differentiate itself from that kind of mindset.

Folks, the last fighting game I truly enjoyed was Blazblue Cross Tag Battle, a crossover game between Blazblue, Persona 4 Arena, Under Night In-Birth, and RWBY. It was basically ArcSys Smash Bros.

And the fandom absolutely despised it when it first came out.

For reasons both reasonable and petty, the fandom was filled to its eyeballs with opinions about it. The simple combos, the wonky online, the fact that RWBY characters were even in the game. It was... a lot. And while a lot of those opinions and sharp critiques have faded as people experienced the game, learned some of the deeper mechanics, found the charm within it, and can now play that game with good netcode, the sting of all those talking heads still stings a little to this day. And that’s nothing to say of some other games like Strive and Type Lumina. It’s just... a lot.

I know this is just the product of the internet, the fact that an entire population and subgroup can see, consume, discuss, and interact with the entire internet all at once and the human mind just can’t handle the massive size of humans without cracking a little. I know for every bad opinion, awful take, or bad faith assumption there’s probably two good ones. And I know that a lot of algorithms manipulate things so that the worse takes and most attentive points are viewed first for the sake of clicks and ad revenue. I know that, but it doesn’t make dealing with the entire internet any easier. It just... makes it more and more tempting to just shut down. But that’s enough of that. Let’s get to the main reason I’m even talking about this.

The Fighting Game Community™ is changing.

I think we’re all starting to see it. Not just the fact that fighting games are more and more accessible nowadays, but the voices within it our changing. I’ll hold making naming names, but a lot of people that have been involved with fighting games for over 10 years, people I know as the voices for fighting games are starting to age. Not just in their opinions, but... getting older. We’re about to have an honest-to-god old guard, and a lot of us are a part of it. There are newer voices coming to the forefront now. Younger voice, less experienced voices that have a fresh perspective.

Let me put this into perspective. The fighting games that got me into the genre were Tekken 3, Soul Calibur 3, Virtua Fighter 4, and I was completely sucked in after playing Blazblue Continuum Shift.

For some newer people the game that got them into fighting games and made them really look at the mechanics and even the artistry was Granblue Fantasy Versus.

That’s not an insult to those that did get into fighting games with that game. That’s just to say that with how fast things move with the internet and how easy it is to discuss these things, and how different the perspectives are. That difference can cause a lot of friction, for good or ill, and seeing all those talking heads argue amongst themselves can be... tiring. And it just makes me... remember. Remember the simpler times of playing Soul Calibur 3′s story mode with my older cousin and messing around in the character creator. Of doing dumb combos in Blazblue Continuum Shift and organizing tournaments with my old online friends. I just... wish the games could be fun again and not some massive competition to figure out the most optimal routes and methods.

Maybe this is why I like the Total War series so much nowadays. The extensive and free-form single player modes and competitive multiplayer modes understand they are different beasts and don’t active hinder each other.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just getting old and can’t keep up with the new direction this genre is going. That’s... fine, if a little sad. But... it’s not the worst situation. The indie scene is always there to make interesting games with unique modes, and there’s other genre’s worth exploring as well for my fix. It’s just... saying goodbye to an old love and agreeing to be just friends is always a little difficult I suppose, even if done amicably.

But that’ll be it for me. I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 12

12/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: Irresistible adjacent | T | 3.5k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic

Scully gets major insight into what's wrong with her at her follow-up doctor's appointment. Then, Missy takes her to get a tarot card reading.

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It is not Scully’s ideal Friday afternoon. The paper gown itches, the medical chair makes her feel like she’s on display, and Dr. Zapolsky is not exactly the next person she expected to be inside her. As Dr. Zapolsky’s wand probes around, Scully distracts herself by wondering what Mulder is up to. He submitted the Aubrey case report to Skinner yesterday--he told her over the phone--so that probably means he was assigned a new case today. He’ll be doing background research and formulating his crackpot theory then. It must be much more productive without her fighting him every step of the way.

Dr. Zaplosky finally gets her wand into place and points to the black-and-white image on the monitor. Scully and Missy, who sits off to the side, both watch intently. “So what we’re looking at here is the antral follicle count inside your ovaries,” the doctor explains. “Follicles contain the egg that gets released during ovulation, so essentially the higher the count, the more fertile you are.”

The image on the screen contains grey matter punctuated by a few dark circles. “Are the circles the follicles?” Scully asks, worry growing in her voice.

“Yes, ma’am.��� Dr. Zapolsky repositions her wand and pulls the monitor toward her and Scully. “I have to be honest, this is an abnormal count for a thirty year old.” She taps a fingernail against each dark circle on the screen as she totals them up. “Five.” The word hangs in the air.

“That’s too low, isn’t it?” Scully says, posing it as a question though she already knows the answer.

“I’m afraid it is.” Dr. Zapolsky fiddles with the wand. “The average count for a woman in your age range is fifteen.”

While Dr. Zapolsky removes the wand, Missy watches her sister’s face. Blank. She bites her lip. Like twin telepathy, the emotion that Dana will refrain from letting out bubbles up inside her.

Scully takes her feet out of the stirrups, clutches her clothes in her lap. “How could this have happened?”

Dr. Zapolsky washes her hands. “Well, considering that you’ve had no irregularities in the past, it is unlikely that you’ve had a naturally low follicle count since birth. A number like that is very unusual, and the only women I’ve seen it in have had menstrual issues for years.”

“Is it something that could be…tampered with?” Scully swallows the lump in her throat away. The only thing worse than being a victim is the constant reminders of it.

“Again, unusual, but yes. I would suspect that an ova removal was performed.”

“You mean they harvested my eggs?” Scully’s voice has gone up an octave. She flirts with hysteria.

“Unfortunately so.”

“That’s horrendous,” Missy whispers, unable to stay quiet any longer.

“It seems that enough of the supply was removed to affect your hormone levels and stop ovulation altogether,” Dr. Zapolsky continues.

“So I’m menopausal then?” Scully digs her nails into her clothes. “Or at least premenopausal?”

“It’s still early, and it is possible that hormone replacement therapy could stimulate the follicle growth and perhaps promote fertility.”

“But my menstrual cycle is shut down, is that what you’re saying?” Scully presses. “If I didn’t do anything, I would enter menopause.”

“Most likely, Dana,” Dr. Zapolsky responds solemnly.

The back of Scully’s throat burns, threatening to unleash tears. “Well, I’d like to exhaust my options. I know early menopause can have detrimental health effects…”

“It can, and the hormone therapy would attempt to combat that.”

“And I would like to have the option of carrying a child, if possible.”

“Of course.”

Scully bites her lip and looks to her sister, whose eyes have filled with tears. She has to look away. Seeing Missy like that only breaks her even more.

“We’ll take care of you, Dana,” Dr. Zapolsky promises. “There are plenty of options, and I’ll provide you with information on them all.”

She musters a smile, nods. “Thank you Dr. Zapolsky.”

She does not feel thankful, not at all.

----------------

“Nonconsensual ova removal, that’s got to be some kind of crime, doesn’t it?” Missy asks as the elevator deposits them in the hospital parking garage.

“Medical rape, I suppose,” Scully replies, her voice flat and dissociated. “I don’t know if it could be prosecuted.”

“It sure as hell better be prosecuted,” Missy fumes.

“Well, my case is still open, but it’s not exactly a top priority.”

“Weird, isn’t it?” Missy huffs. “You work on the X-files, are the victim of an open x-file, and yet it gets pushed aside.”

“It’s not Mulder’s fault,” Scully stammers, the words flying out of her faster than she can process them.

“I never said it was.”

“Skinner and the Bureau can’t afford to keep us on it. Any case that goes longer than six weeks, that’s what happens. Like Mulder’s sister--that case is still open too.”

“That case is twenty years old, Dana. You were abducted two months ago.”

Scully says nothing. Does Missy think that she hasn’t counted the days since her return, eagerly anticipating the moment the number of days she’s been back exceeds the number that she was gone? She hits the unlock button on her key fob, the car’s highlights directing her and Missy toward it in the shadowy parking garage.

Missy speed-walks to the driver’s side. Scully grimaces.

“It’s my car, Missy. I’m fine, I’ve got it.”

Missy doesn’t move. “I know, but I want to take you somewhere.”

Scully sighs, lets her sister slide into the driver’s seat. “Do I even want to ask?”

“Well, I would expect you to.”

Scully settles into the passenger’s side as her sister cranks the engine.”What are the chances that I’ve been there before?”

“Are there such things as negative percentages?” Missy quips.

“Well--”

Missy cuts her off right there. “For these purposes, there’s not.” She glances over her shoulder, backs out of the spot, and guides the car down the maze of parking garage levels. “I’m taking you to a friend of a friend of mine’s. She’s a clairvoyant.”

Scully smirks. “Is that so?”

“She does palmistry and tarot cards readings, plus she can contact spirits,” Missy replies.

“Oh, well now that I know she talks to dead people…”

“C’mon Dana, she could really help you. You don’t go to therapy, so this is the least you could do.”

Scully laughs. “You think a psychic is comparable to therapy?”

“A good one, yes. I mean, that’s what you need right now, isn’t it? Some clarity about your future?”

Scully rolls her eyes. “I could get as much clarity from a magic 8 ball.”

“Some psychics are scammers, sure, but not Holly. Holly is a trained professional.”

“You can read palms and tarot cards too. Why go to her?”

“Because she doesn’t know you. You wouldn’t believe a word I say, and there’ll be no bias in Holly’s assessment.”

Scully glances over at her sister. Missy takes this to mean that she’s entertaining the idea. “It’s not like you have anywhere else to be,” Missy reminds her.

“You do,” Scully counters.

“At five. We’ve still got three hours before then, darling,” Missy says with a mischievous smile.

Scully lets herself be swept away. Holding tightly to the reins has done her no good.

------

A few minutes later, Scully finds herself in a house in the Virginia suburbs that looks permanently decorated for Halloween, on the inside at least. A bell rings as they enter the front door, the only indication that this is a shop formerly zoned in a residential area and not where someone lives. It is the exact cliche Scully would expect from a psychic's place, and it makes her feel no better about Missy’s insistence that the woman is a professional.

A woman with braided hair and long black nails emerges through a beaded curtain.

“Melissa! How nice to see you.” She and Missy trade kisses on the cheek like they’re in Europe. “And who do we have here?” the woman asks, casting a curious eye toward Scully.

“Holly, this is my sister Dana. She’s here for a reading.”

“Oh, how wonderful!” The woman approaches Scully and holds out her hands. Reluctantly, Scully grasps them. “You have a very fraught energy, Dana,” the woman says, the edges of her lips turning down. “I’d be interested in doing a tarot reading with you.”

Still holding the woman’s hands, Scully answers, “You can do what you want, but I can’t say that I’ll believe you.”

The woman lets go of Scully’s hands. “That’s okay. Just because you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

Scully throws her sister a sideways glance. Missy smirks. It is rare for her sister to get so effortlessly shut down.

They make their way to a candlelit back room, and Scully is certain she must have walked onto the set of a bad movie. She keeps this thought to herself as Holly seats her at a cloth-covered table. Holly takes her place across from Scully and pulls a deck of cards from a shelf under the table. Missy sits at the table’s edge with a perfect view of both of them.

“I take it this is your first time getting a reading?” Holly asks as she shuffles the cards. Scully is impressed that she can do it with such long fingernails. She nods.

“Great, I always enjoy newcomers. I would like to do one of the most comprehensive readings with you, Dana. It’s called a Celtic Cross spread. Ten cards. What do you think, Melissa?”

“That’s exactly what I was going to suggest.”

“Perfect. Now normally, Dana, we use a question, chosen by you, to guide the process. However, the Celtic Cross is a spread that encompasses many areas of life, so it doesn’t require one.”

“Alright.” Scully doesn’t care what this woman does as long as Missy pays for it.

“You’ll draw ten cards, then I’ll place them down, flip them, tell you what each position means, and interpret each card. Finally, I’ll interpret the spread altogether.”

“Lovely.” She can’t help but throw some sarcastic bite in. This sounds like a rigorous process.

The deck shuffled, Holly fans the cards out and holds the display toward Scully. “Go ahead, pick one at a time and I will lay them out.”

She does as told--one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten-- until they are laid out in front of her in the shape of a roughly constructed cross.

“Wonderful.” Holly lays her own palms against the table. “Now, I’ll flip each one and tell you about them. Are you ready?” Holly looks up at Scully with piercing brown eyes. They remind her of Mulder’s when he’s frustrated.

“Yes ma’am,” she says, feeling suddenly submissive.

“Let’s begin with the present card, which reflects your current situation.” Holly turns the card, revealing a sketch of a burning building. The sudden desire to flee grips Scully, but she stays put. “The tower,” Holly says. “There has been an abrupt change in your life recently, one that you might call a disaster. You are scared, certainly, but you don’t need to be. Change is necessary when the foundation of what you believe has proved faulty. It is a survival mechanism.”

Scully stares at the card. What would she do if she were stuck in a skyscraper on fire? Jump. And panic the whole way down.

“Next card, please,” she mumbles.

“Alright.” Holly flips the second card, an upside down triangle. Scully hears Missy lick her lips.

“This is the three of pentacles reversed,” Holly explains. “This second spot represents the main challenge you are currently facing. We normally perceive a triangle as well-balanced and in synergy. The upside-down triangle means that you are dealing with a lack of teamwork. A power struggle in the work environment, perhaps? One that is keeping you from becoming your most enlightened self.”

Scully shakes her head. “If anyone’s keeping me from becoming my ‘most enlightened self’”--she puts air-quotes around that phrase--”it’s me.”

Holly continues. “The version of yourself that you feel like you have to be around that person is what’s holding you back. Work on expressing your truest self. If that person cares about you, they will accept it.”

Scully looks toward her sister, who might as well have a bucket of popcorn and some Junior Mints with how much she’s enjoying this. Missy winks, and Scully rolls her eyes and focuses back on Holly. “What’s the next card?” she asks with some apprehension.

“The third card represents the past.” Holly flips it, and Scully finds herself looking at an upside down goblet with a bird on top of it. “The ace of cups,” Holly remarks. “Reversed. You are coming out of a period of loss, emptiness, instability. The water was running out of your cup, so to speak. You’ve gotten used to pain and emotional exhaustion, maybe too used to it. Now you must lift yourself out of that dark place and step into the light. Leave the past in the past.”

Scully crosses her arms over her chest. Missy led her right into the belly of the faux motivational beast. This is worse than therapy, too belittling and sentimental.

“And the next card?” she asks, impatience building inside her.

“Card four, the future.” A balanced scale adorns the card. “Justice! The truth will come to pass. Whatever has happened, the offender will be held accountable, and the victim will breathe easy again.”

“That’s one of my favorite cards,” Missy pipes up.

Holly nods. “Who doesn’t love to see justice served?”

“Mmm,” Scully mumbles, not interested in furthering the conversation. She shifts in her seat. “What’s card five?”

“Card five is the conscious card. It represents the goals and desires that drive you.” She flips the fifth card. A woman with a sword stares back at them. “Queen of swords,” Holly remarks. “She makes principled, logical decisions, never letting herself be guided by her heart. Is it possible that you have embraced this as an ideal, molding yourself to fit this archetype?”

This is a rhetorical question--or at least she hopes it is--because Scully is not planning to answer it. “Insightful,” she snickers.

“Then we have card six, which represents the unconscious desires that are driving you. These are the values that you might not even understand yet, but which are most fervently directing you toward your goal.”

“Am I allowed to flip it myself?” Scully asks. “Or does that ruin it?”

“You pick them, I flip them,” Holly replies. “It maintains the balance. I appreciate your enthusiasm, though.”

Scully chuckles. For a psychic, Holly sure is reading her wrong.

Holly reveals the sixth card, ten cups in a circle. “The ten of cups. A beloved card. It indicates true emotional fulfillment. The feeling of having it all; harmony, peace, happiness. This is what you are unconsciously in pursuit of.”

“Isn’t everyone?” Scully interjects.

“Most people think they are, but very few actually are.”

Scully decides not to read into this. She’s expecting a full card-by-card breakdown from Melissa later anyway, so it’s best to expend as little brain power on this child’s play as possible.

“Card seven,” Holly continues, “indicates the influence of your perception of yourself on your life and advises how to move forward.”

Scully nods and watches as the woman flips a card with one less cup than before, all upside down. “Oh, the nine of cups reversed! This is often associated with dissatisfaction of some sort. Your life may look perfect, but it is still lacking. You have what you thought you wanted, yet it is not entirely what you want.” Holly locks eyes with Scully, who feels like a hostage at this point. “In times of discontent, it’s best to identify the parts of your life that are failing to fulfill you. Disregard the expectations of others, and listen to what your soul is saying.”

Scully purses her lips. Something inside her stirs, taps on some long-forgotten childhood impulse, makes her want to cry. She will not. She will not.

“And what’s the next card?” she asks, her voice gravelly.

“External influences. The energies around you that impact your energy.”

“Huh.” Scully blinks. “I thought this was an internal assessment.”

“It is,” Missy replies before Holly can get to it. “What shapes you more than the people you spend time with?” She sends a smirk her sister’s way.

“Ah,” Scully replies, directing her attention back toward Holly before Missy can cause any more trouble.

Holly flips the eighth card, revealing a man holding a staff high in the air. “The king of wands. A motivating energy. Someone who is a bit of a visionary, a natural born leader who follows through and carries out their goals. For someone who is more restrained, the king of wands can really get them out of their comfort zone.”

Scully nods, not able to debate this one.

Holly takes a breath. “And the ninth card, perhaps the most telling one. It is an analysis of both hopes and fears, reflecting how what you most fear may be exactly what you need, or vice versa.” Holly flips the card, and Scully is face to face with a skull and crossbones. She laughs--regrettably--out loud. “Death?”

“Yes, this is the death card,” Holly remarks. “But don’t be scared, it doesn’t mean literal death. It represents rebirth and renewal, actually. A metamorphosis is upon you, and you have the opportunity to change your life for the better.”

“And I fear that?” Always the skeptic, she is.

“You fear the unknown that comes with change. You mistakenly believe that change only yields bad outcomes, when your life has proven that to be false multiple times.”

Scully bites her lip, annoyed by the audacity of this woman to assume that she ‘knows’ her because of some cards. “And the final card…?”

“Yes. Card number ten is the outcome. A summary of your situation and its likely resolution.” Holly turns the final card, a divinely dressed woman on a throne. “The empress,” she says. “A wonderful card for you.”

Scully furrows her brow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, the empress is an expression of feminine nature. It’s deeply associated with fertility and nurturing.”

“And what does that have to do with me?”

“Well, you have a little girl, don’t you?” Holly says confidently, as if she had heard it from Missy.

“No.” Scully shakes her head. “I have no children. I can’t have children.”

“Oh.” Holly dodges Scully’s glance. “Well, you would make a great mother, Dana.”

“You don’t even know me,” Scully practically growls. “You just know the stupid cards.”

Scully’s chair howls as she pushes away from the table. She disappears through the beaded curtain before Missy has even gotten up.

“I’m sorry about her, Holly,” Missy murmurs. “She’s going through a very sensitive time. How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it. Pay it forward, treat your sister to something that will make her feel better.”

“Are you sure? You did a wonderful job, you deserve compensation for your time.”

“Spend it on your sister,” Holly emphasizes. “She needs it more than me.”

Missy pats Holly on the shoulder. “Thank you. I will stop by again soon, I promise.”

Holly smiles, nods. “Goodbye, Melissa. And say thank you to Dana for me.”

The bell pings behind Missy as she exits the shop. Outside, her sister’s in the driver’s seat with the engine already running. Missy slides into the passenger’s seat.

“Quite a performance there,” Missy teases. “You missed your standing ovation.”

Scully grips the steering wheel with perfect 9-and-3 positioning even though they are still in park. “I want to go home, not be lectured by some woman who uses a game to say the same generic crap to everyone.”

“But it didn’t feel generic, did it?” Missy probes her sister’s face. “You connected with much of what she said.”

“And I’m sure you did too, because it’s just universal truths of humanity served in bite-size portions. Vague enough that you can connect them to your life and feel like some incredible spiritual reading is taking place.”

Missy raises a brow. “Are you this difficult with Mulder?” It comes off harsher than intended. Scully’s gaze drops to her lap, her psyche pierced.

“I guess you’d have to ask Mulder, wouldn’t you?” she responds coolly, shifting the car into reverse and cutting off any further conversation.

If her sister--the one person she feels most willing to be herself with--thinks she is difficult, then how must everyone else view her? Especially Mulder, who is only trying to grow out of his trauma. He must hate her for making it so hard, and for what? So she can have the satisfaction of being right? Truly, what would she lose if aliens knocked on Mulder’s door this very day?...Her pride? She cannot bear to think about it any longer, how her partner must hate her and yet has been so good to her. How she deserves none of it.