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soov · 4 months

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𔓕　KEEP JAZZ A(LiVE)。 ㅤceo .ᐟ 𝓟ark 𝓙ongseong

（命）fem reader 、15OO words　fluff ⋄ ceo au, s2l and estabilished relationship　─　kissing, suggestive & mentions of food。

in which you and jay coincidentally go to the same live jazz restaurant, and end up with your dates being at his house after some of his wooing.

Jazz and food — is there a greater combination? You liked to believe that there wasn’t, especially after discovering L'Arôme, a restaurant unexpectedly close to your house hidden by a narrow cobblestone path and many vine branches.

L'Arôme was easily one of the most beautiful places you had ever visited. The dim atmosphere and yellowish lamps managed to make the open interior look cozier than it should. The walls were mostly textured with burnished concrete; the plants that grew on the outside of the restaurant, too, covered the inside of it.

The ambiance was jaw-dropping, the food was delicious, and the live jazz music was equally as perfect. Marcus and Thereza, the old, retired couple who played the saxophone and piano out of love for music, had also gotten a special place in your heart.

You started to love the place even more when a certain man began to frequent it every late Friday as you did.

He was exceptionally charming, white shirt neatly rolled up to his elbows, hair combed back, and a Rolex on his wrist. Despite him looking like the embodiment of luxury, what attracted your attention were his courteous interactions with the employees, and the polite small-talk he had with the musicians to compliment them.

“Men like him still exist?” It seemed that even the people who worked there pondered the same thing. At least, that was what your bartender told you.

The raven-haired man left you intrigued for his next visits; even more so when he pulled out a tiny moleskin and pen out of his pocket, jotting down notes whilst carefully listening to the music, and occasionally stealing a bite of his dish.

You didn’t notice how he gazed back at you until he cracked one of his peaceful smiles, making you immediately look back to your glass of wine sheepishly.

He kept exchanging glances and grins with you before he finally came up to you one night.

“Can I sit here? Don’t worry, I’ll pay for my food.” He pointed to the wooden chair in front of you, and you agreed, of course. Why wouldn’t you?

During that dinner, you found out that his name is Park Jongseong, but he prefers going by Jay. He loves traveling and learning about new cultures, cooking, and sometimes composing songs, hence the notebook. He learned that you enjoy fashion and cats. You two discovered that among your many shared tastes, perfumes and scents were your top ones. Ironic, considering the name of the place where you two met.

Jay did not pay his bill that night, by the way, but rather his and yours when you had a quick restroom break. When it was time for you to leave, he ordered you a cab, making sure you were alright before closing its door.

He did that for the next few weeks, and in a specific one, Jay called you asking if the meetup could be an actual date. And again, you agreed. Why wouldn’t you?

So he showed up with a suit of your favorite color. You didn’t remember that well when you told him what it was, but he still remembered it, just like your favorite flowers in the bouquet he held. Even with all his grand gestures, Jongseong was a simple man — just a kiss on his tan cheek before you hopped in the cab made him weak on his knees.

The pattern kept going on up ‘till he asked you to be his girlfriend, and the next dates moved to his million-dollar penthouse. You didn’t get how crazy money he made in his CEO job until he picked you up in his sleek black Porsche and drove you to one of the best neighborhoods in the city. When he already had such manners and looked like a sculpture manually carved by the Greek gods, his money wasn’t that much of a big deal.

And with all that being said, Jay was ten thousand times happier with having your Friday dates in the coziness and intimacy of his home.

“Jay, baby, I wanna help too...” You mumbled with your arms nestled around his waist, chin on his broad back as you watched him set up the final touches to the seasoned meat to get it to the oven.

“You’re helping already with your hugs,” he said back, chuckling when you whined against his cashmere sweater.

“Doesn’t count,” you huffed, “you already had prepared everything before I arrived. You’re no fun.”

He couldn’t help but laugh again, “I didn’t fill our glasses with wine, though. You can help me with that.” Jay suggested, washing his hands off.

With grumbles of defeat, you made your way to his wine wall, picking up an unopened bottle of your favorite. After you began dating him, you had turned into a somewhat wine expert with all the knowledge he shared.

Popping the bottle open, you poured the drink into two burgundy glasses, taking a sip of yours and leaving it near the charcuterie board on the coffee table.

Jay changed the vinyl playing to a copy of Thereza’s and Marcus’ jazz album that he bought from them, one of their original songs playing smoothly in the background. He soon approached you, hand reached out in reverence. “Can I have this dance?”

You beamed and nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing him to encircle your waist. “This is nice.” You commented and he nodded in agreement.

“Really nice.”

His thumbs rubbed your sides while your fingertips ran through his strands, meekly massaging his scalp. Jay melted into you, his cheek resting on your shoulder as if wanting to get even closer during the slow dance.

“You’re gonna suffocate me, Jay,” you choked out with a giggle, and he immediately took a step back, though still leaning on your body.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

When his apology got dismissed, he tugged you to the living room quickly without even bothering to say a word. You let out a quiet laugh when he sat down and pulled you to his lap.

“What’s up with the commotion?” You prodded at his slightly uncommon clinginess and quietude.

Your boyfriend shrugged, his chin on your chest and an impish smile on his lips as he stared up at you, “Just missed you.” Jongseong explained in a gentle tone.

There were multiple reasons for his homesickness, and one of them was the twelve-day business trip that he had to take to Russia, making your date on the weekend prior get canceled. You didn’t blame him for wanting attention.

“You’re cute when you’re all clingy like that,” pointing out, you made sure to leave a peck on his exposed forehead, nose, and lips.

With an uninterested ‘mhm’, he kept you in place by grasping the back of your head with a firm grip. Jay kissed you slowly — and a tad bit messily — to make good use of the short period he’d have with you until his next business trip. His plush lips didn’t leave yours for a second, occasionally nibbling on them up to when he had to pull away for air.

He leaned back on the couch, trying to create distance between you. However, his eyes never left your face, devouring every curve and contour as if you were the last meal he would ever have. “You’re pretty.”

“You sound like you just started to find me pretty.”

Jay huffed in disbelief at your taunt, a toothy grin and a nose wrinkle appearing, “Take a compliment, will you?”

“Alright. Thanks, then.” You shrugged and turned in his lap to grab your glass of wine by the coffee table. Taking a sip, you hummed at the feeling of Jay’s lazy kisses and pecks along your neck. “Needy, huh?”

“You entertain me.” He muttered back with a gentle bite to your skin, mentally patting himself on the back for the little yelp of surprise you let out.

Park kept pampering you during your small snack break, focused on being as doting as he could only until the oven’s timer ticked. His hand cupped your hips as you left his lap, making sure that you were balanced before letting go of you.

You got the tray out of the oven and carefully rested it on the well-decorated dining table. Your boyfriend approached you, chivalrously taking off the protection glove from your hand and pulling out the chair for you.

And as you both suited yourselves and enjoyed his cooking, you once again realized how much of a good cook Jay was.

“S’too good, Jay,” you mumbled with a finger hooked in front of your lips, munching happily on the absurdly good side dishes he made.

“Thank you, I know it is.” Jay proudly admitted, mostly joking around with you, but happy with the outcome of the plates.

You scoffed with a small grin, “No need to get all cocky now.”

“Maybe there is. I have a feeling my girl likes when I’m cocky.” He quipped back, showing that you really entertained him in his playful moments.

He used the dinner to fill you in the details of his trip that he didn’t say through text, feeling bashful whenever you gasped or quipped with a question.

Eventually, the conversation turned to his guitar, and soon he was strumming his favorite songs on the couch while you relaxed against him.

Seemed like it was about time you added Jay to the top of your ranking.

⠀ ⠀ SOOV © 2O24

STiCKY NOTES ⋄ for my biggest inspiration ever since animeblr HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAEL!! @boyfhee

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lucienarcheron · 4 months

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Spirit Meets the Bones XXIII

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse. Please note: There will be heavy subjects discussed that may be triggering.

*This chapter was previously part of chapter 21 (which again, was 30 pages?? insane) and as I have been editing and reuploading the chapters, I have since decided to split chapter 21 into two. //

shoutout to @abruisedmuse for always letting me rant about my babies ♥️

Tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @animezinglife / @readthelastpaage / @teddyhoneybear / @positivewitch / @krem-does-stuff / @clockwork-ashes / @carolynmezzosoprano / @carnythian / @runningwiththeoceans / @secret-third-thing / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @moonfawnx / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @eachies / @feysandfeels / @thelovelymadone / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @sinnerrsworld / @gracie-rosee / @stormycleric / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @theeternalstruggle / @the-midnightwriter / @illyrianvalkyrie / @that-golden-lyre / @ladystarrynight

Find it all here.

Eris didn’t let himself overthink it as he finally released her hand from his and only hesitated for a moment before he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the ground. He knew Iris hadn’t meant to make a noise but the sharp intake of breath that had slipped from her mouth had him digging his hands into his thighs, tensing even further. He would not overthink it. His shirt was already off and she’d seen his scars before…even if his back had never looked this bad.

“Quite a masterpiece my father made, didn't he?” he mused quietly then dared to glance over his shoulder to find Iris’s face flushed in anger, her eyes locked on his back.

The High Lord had avoided his face, of course. He only left marks where others couldn’t see and had certainly not held back tonight. Eris knew the scars would line his back, his upper arms, and his neck. He didn’t want to think about his hair and how his father had deliberately kept it down so it would stick in his wounds and make the sting worse.

“Do you think, if I didn’t want your wife here, she wouldn’t be?” his father had whispered to him after the first crack of the whip. “Do you think I couldn’t have her in your position right now if I didn’t want to?”

Eris’s blood had boiled at the mere thought of Iris being subjected to any of this but he kept his mouth shut. He had endured.

“You’ve gotten too bold, son. You’ve forgotten yourself.”

He had indeed. Eris had forgotten how his father liked to play. But Beron had reminded him over and over again exactly what happens to those who cross the High Lord. Eris had forced his body to shut down and closed off his mind until his father was finished. The only thoughts he allowed himself were of Iris waiting for him.

“I look forward to the day his blood fills these halls.” she muttered. “He deserves nothing but a brutal and painful death.”

The corner of Eris’s mouth curled up. “Bloodthirsty, are you?”

“I am your wife.” she said with a pointed look and a small chuckle escaped him despite how wretched he felt.

Yes, she was. His lovely little wife.

“Tell me, how pretty do you think your lovely little Iris would look bleeding all over the throne room floor?” his father had whispered.

His magic had recoiled violently at his father’s threats. Eris had nearly choked on the taste of ash in his mouth.

“I could make you watch. Or…have you be the one to make her bleed. What do you think, son?”

“Eris?”

He blinked himself back into reality to find that his fists had burst into flame again and Iris was watching him patiently. Eris hadn’t even seen or heard her bring a small bowl with a towel and salves, resting them on the nightstand beside them. He cleared his throat and flexed his hands to calm down. “Hm?”

“I need to start cleaning the wounds and wanted to make sure it’s still alright for me to touch you.” she asked and Eris felt himself nearly break at the question.

He forced himself to take a steadying breath and hoped she didn’t see the slight tremble in his hands when he rubbed his forehead. “Yes.” he said. “It’s always alright for you to touch me.”

She gently squeezed his arm at the words and he tried to hold back the shudder. He wasn’t used to anyone taking care of him. He could heal himself just fine but his wife wanted to help him. His mate wanting to touch him made a world of a difference and Eris knew the thread that he was holding on to was on its last legs. He had to get everything off his chest, all the burdens he carried.

Iris guided him to sit at the corner of the bed and turn his back to her. She worked in silence at first and Eris forced himself to relax as she gently dipped his head forward and began cleaning with a soft cloth. He forced himself to take silent breaths as she touched him. To remind himself that this was not his father putting his hands on him, it was his Iris. Her lovely, lovely hands soothing the broken pieces of him. She touched him with featherlike movements and the way his body was reacting to the softness of her hands alarmed him.

This was pathetic. He was pathetic.

“Does this…has this happened often?” Iris asked into the silence of their room. “I know you have older scars.”

The cloth slid against the nape of his neck and Eris breathed in deeply through his nose, digging his fingers into his thighs, trying desperately not to throw up. He knew without looking at his wife, that Iris had picked up on it and her touch had gotten even gentler. “You remember when I told you earlier about the High Lord and his ways?” He began tightly and Iris hummed in response. “He leads with fear and a very heavy hand. And I use the term ‘leads’ very loosely.”

Eris forced himself to swallow as Iris began to pat his back dry and continued.

“He changed Under the Mountain. He was always rough around the edges but…that time awakened a side of my father that he has not returned from. We all did what we had to do to survive those fifty years but he…he became more vicious.” he said quietly. “Before that, he lashed out often and his fists spoke before his mouth ever did but it wasn’t consistent. You weren’t sure what would trigger him. The flogging was saved for special occasions — when we really pissed him off.” Eris couldn’t look at her as he added, “The first time he used it was on my mother. He made my brothers and I all watch.”

Iris froze behind him, hand in midair as revulsion coursed through her.

“It was after Lucien was born,” Eris said, his voice carefully void of emotion. “We were all locked in place by his magic and had to watch her bleed. We had to listen to her scream and could do nothing. None of us were really the same after that, especially my mother.”

“Why?” Iris managed to choke out and Eris looked over his shoulder at his wife.

“Monsters don’t need reasons but…” he turned away again and with his voice barely above a whisper said, “My mother had an affair and my father found out. Lucien…is not my father’s son.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “W-what?”

“My mother met a male that she fell in love with before she met my father. Her family decided power was more important than their daughter’s happiness and married her off to my father anyway,” he said, his voice dull as he glanced at his wife again before his gaze dropped to his hands. “Their relationship was…a checkbox that was fulfilled. And things were fine. Until they weren’t.”

Iris forced herself to move, to place the cloth down on the nightstand and pick up the salves instead. “What happened?” she asked as she sat behind him once more.

Eris tensed as she began to apply the ointment, forcing himself to breathe through his nose again and calm his thoughts. “The male she loved saved her during the first war and they reconnected.” he continued. “Then the affair began on and off for years. Until my father found out after Lucien was born and nothing about her was the same afterward.”

Iris bit her lip, trying to hold back the nausea she was feeling as tension lined Eris’s back again, his shoulders stiff. “My mother was so full of light and love. A firecracker with magic that almost rivaled my father’s. She was…happy. Until that day.” Eris said and dread filled Iris’s chest when Eris pulled away to meet her gaze. “After he was done spilling her blood in the throne room that day, he took her away and they were gone for days. We did not know where they went or what he did to her then but when they came back, no fire was left in the Lady of Autumn. Nothing of who my mother had been was left.”

Iris’s heart was nearly beating out of her chest as the room heated once more. She watched Eris’s knuckles turn white from how hard he was clenching them. “Later on, after my mother remembered how to speak and to look at me without flinching,” he growled softly and Iris’s heart shattered further. “She told me everything. About her affair. About what happened. That he had used her fire against her. That he had beat her, hurt her, and burned her so badly, that he made her fear the fire that made her who she was. She is terrified of it because of how badly he made it hurt.” He let out a breath full of rage. “Since then he has never stopped belittling her and breaking her down. Hasn’t stopped doing everything he can to make her small and weak and prey.”

“And I hate him.” he snarled darkly and Iris felt the bed heat below her as she looked over at Eris, his eyes ablaze. “I hate him with every atom in my body. I loathe him and loathe the life he has forced us to live. I cannot stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice or feeling his eyes on me. I hate that he even breathes the same air as my mother. I hate that he uses my mother against my brothers and me.” Iris watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took shallow breaths. “But most of all, I hate that he’s still alive when his final breaths are a symphony I have been waiting to hear for years.”

Iris blinked and in the next moment, their whole chamber was in flames.

She gasped, her hands dropping to her lap as fire covered every inch of their room. She looked to Eris who had his eyes closed, his head tilted as frustration dripped from every inch of him. Her eyes turned to scan the room, feeling the heat and smelling the smoke. Though none of the flames touched her body, Eris was completely aflame.

“We survived fifty years of darkness beneath that fucken mountain for the nightmare to continue within this forest. He is a plague and the dream of his death is the only thing that keeps me going.”

Silence fell between them as Iris watched his fire burn throughout the room. She wondered what would happen if he did let it melt everything away. What would happen when he eventually unleashed?

“Does he know?” Iris finally asked. “That you have all this inside you?”

“He knows. Everyone knows. I will be the next High Lord.” Eris said quietly. “My power has been brewing for years and everyone can sense it. I have all this rage and all this fire but I’ve had to hold back.” He ran his tongue over his teeth. “His death has always been marked for my mother and until she is ready to get out, we cannot make a move. We endure and play my father’s games…but every now and then, I need to let it out.”

And with those words, the flames flickered out in the room. Iris’s eyes surveyed everything and found...nothing was damaged. Nothing was ruined — only a lingering smell of smoke.

Turning back to him, Iris found him staring at her, smoke coming off him in waves at what remained of his rage. He blinked at her, his expression blank as his exhaustion stared back at her.

“Did I frighten you?” he asked quietly as she watched him. “I’ve shown you quite a bit of my dark side lately.”

But Iris was not frightened. Not in the least. She felt — she felt seen.

She shook her head and stood carefully, returning the healing ointments to the small table beside them. How did she explain to him that there was nothing frightening about what he said? That all she felt was understood?

Finding her way back next to him, Iris sat with little space between them and color bloomed on her face when Eris’s eyes dipped to the inch between their bodies. She let her hand slide up and gently, with a tenderness she knew they both needed, let her finger delicately trace his face.

“I’m not afraid,” she said and then let her hand continue to slide up, gently musing the hair she knew he would later mourn. “I am only enraged for you.”

A heartbeat passed then Eris shuddered beneath her touch, a sigh of relief fluttering through the whole room and Iris couldn’t help the urge to lean in and kiss him. She did so tenderly, a caress of a kiss that Eris sighed into.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch her yet, to wrap his arms around her when he was still so furious. He allowed himself to trace the material of her robe beneath his fingers instead.

“I told you there was so much to tell you.” Eris said quietly and Iris pulled her hand away to rest in his empty one, the corner of her mouth curling up.

“And I told you I want to know.” she replied. “So tell me. Get it off your chest.”

Though exhaustion had melted his bones, Eris knew he needed to keep talking. He needed to get this all off his chest. And then he hoped he’d get to spend the rest of the night kissing her.

Eris forced himself to breathe deeply and slowly rolled his shoulders back, the tightness of his skin as it healed fueling his anger. “My brothers and I excel in pretending to hate and want to kill each other.” He glanced at Iris. “We each control a territory and let my father believe what he sees about where our loyalty lies but do what we can to keep our lives moving. The two brothers who tried to kill Lucien after Jesminda were the two who were most like my father. The rest of us were not sorry to see them go.”

Iris watched him curiously. “Your brothers…they are not as terrible as I’m supposed to believe, are they?”

“I personally think they’re all piles of shit but no, they’re not,” Eris said and the corner of his mouth ticked up at Iris’s amused expression. “We’re not technically close but we have an understanding. They’re…trying to survive.”

Iris nodded slowly, her eyes falling to her hands in his and the way his thumb was still caressing her palms. “Do your brothers know about Lucien?”

Eris pursed his lips before answering. “My mother…preferred for everyone’s sake, that they stay in the dark about it for as long as possible but they needed to know. We had to be on the same page for her sake. So with her permission, I told them. But the only people in this court who know Lucien is not a Vanserra aside from my parents are my three brothers.” he said and met her gaze. “And now you.”

Iris nodded slowly, a strange sense of pride filling her chest that Eris was sharing this with her. That he trusted her when he trusted very few. She felt that strange tug in her ribcage once more.

“Things are never truly what they seem with you Vanserras, are they?” she said with a small huff of laughter and Eris couldn’t help but scoff.

“Nothing is ever what it seems,” he said. “Except my father. He’s always been a piece of shit.”

Iris chuckled and she couldn’t quite place the emotions she felt as she watched him. She saw the exhaustion, the heavy weight suffocating him. She hadn’t forgotten how he’d told her how often he mediated between his parents. How many times had he done it for others as well? How often had he been the one to catch the brunt of his father’s wrath?

Eris shifted next to her and it made her focus on him once more, his expression tight and she braced herself for whatever he would say next.

“Lucien’s father is also why he and Elain live in the Day Court.” Eris said slowly. “Courtesy of the High Lord.”

Iris blinked rapidly. “Oh.”

Eris nodded and waited for a heartbeat as it clicked for Iris.

“Helion?” Iris’s shocked whisper had the corner of Eris’s mouth curl up before it fell once more.

“The High Lord of the Day Court is my brother’s father, yes.” Eris began then swallowed hard before continuing, “He is also…my mother’s mate.”

Iris’s shocked silence filled the room. “Oh gods.”

Everything suddenly made so much sense to Iris. The High Lord’s contempt towards Lady Enya. His reaction whenever Lucien was brought up.

“Oh gods.” she said again and Eris’s mouth went into a thin line. “How did your father find out?”

“When Lucien was born…no one thought anything of it. He looked like any other baby.” Eris said quietly. “Until one day…he started to glow whenever he laughed. Or whenever he was fussy. It didn’t take my father long to figure it out after that. Everything went downhill from there.” He looked down at their hands. “My mother…she has only ever stayed for her sons. So we wouldn’t be left completely at his mercy growing up. And my father knew this. He spared no chance in breaking us all down for her choice.”

“That’s why your father did what he did to Lucien.” Iris said and Eris nodded solemnly.

“Once he knew Lucien wasn’t his, it wasn’t hard for him to differentiate his treatment. He hated looking at him. Hated speaking to him. My father couldn’t outright disown him because it would bring questions and it wasn't like the High Lord would ever admit his wife had an affair. And birthed a son from another High Lord? He would never.” Eris said, scowling. “He knew he could treat my mother the way he does because she broke it off with Helion. For us. For Helion. So there wouldn’t be some kind of crisis between the two courts. She’s been suffering so others won’t.”

Eris swallowed and then looked at Iris. “They’re mates.” he whispered. “And he let her go because she chose us. She chose her children. But she has always wanted him and he has always wanted her.” Eris’s eyes fell down to their joined hands, his shoulders dropping. “He has never stopped loving her. Helion may pretend he hasn’t been waiting for her all these years with his dalliances and carefree attitude but he will always wait for her. Even when he doesn't want to.”

Iris’s heart broke for Lady Enya and for the High Lord she didn’t know. It broke for the son who knew everything and had to watch his mother fade away and his father become a monster.

“That must’ve been so hard for your mother.” she said quietly. “After all these years…” Iris shook her head. “When did Lucien find out? And Helion?”

“A few years ago.” Eris continued with a sigh. “After the war, something…something in my mother changed. Maybe it was the war or maybe her capacity to deal with my father had finally reached its limits or maybe she realized her sons had only suffered watching her suffer and she was done waiting but…” He shook his head. “I saw a small spark of who she was return and she decided she wanted Lucien to know.”

Iris scrunched up her nose and then shook her head.“I’m sure that went well.”

“Considering I had to be the one to tell him because he wouldn’t set foot here? It went great.” Eris said with a snort so like his usual self that Iris couldn't help the small smile. “My mother wrote him a letter. And I had to watch Lucien have a fucken meltdown once he read it.”

Iris shook her head again. “You can’t blame him, Eris. He endured all that he did with a piece of shit that wasn’t even his father,” she said and squeezed Eris’s hand. “Who knows what kind of life he would’ve had if he had known about Helion sooner? I’m sure it was hard for you both.”

“It wasn’t as hard as the time I had to be the one to tell Helion.”

Iris’s brows went up but she held off on saying a word as Eris’s shoulder tensed again. He had been sharing with her so easily, so openly, she didn’t want to say anything to have him shut down.

“What happened?” she asked quietly and Eris sighed.

“I told you how my mother started to…come back to us,” Eris said and Iris nodded. “Well. Lucien wasn’t the only one she wrote a letter to.”

Eris shifted, running a hand through his hair while his other hand stayed wrapped in hers. “I didn’t read it, of course, but I know she told him. And I know she told Lucien that she’d let Helion know but it was up to the two of them to connect if they wanted to,” he said quietly. “She hoped they would but didn’t want to push it. She felt awful enough to have hidden it all these years and then to not be able to tell them herself…” Eris fell silent with a grimace. His mother’s face had rarely been dry from how often she cried those days.

“How did Helion take it?” Iris asked softly.

“I have never seen someone break down the way the High Lord of Day did that day.” Eris shook his head again with a frown. “I think he was already at a breaking point and had suspected something but having that confirmation was the final straw. It was messy. For Lucien. For Helion. For my mother.” he said. “There was a lot of resentment. A lot of anger. A lot of hurt. Especially because my mother can’t speak to either of them in person…she dropped this tragic surprise on them and essentially put them in a position to deal with it without her.” Eris waved a hand. “Even if it’s not by choice, it…was hard for everyone.”

“Including you, I’m sure,” she said and squeezed his hand again. “Being the in-between.”

“I was more worried my father would find out again. What would he do to her this time if he found out she’d reached out to the one male she never stopped loving?” he said quietly then shrugged with a deep sigh. “But they have a code. She writes him letters and he replies.”

Iris felt emotion swell in her at the Lady of Autumn and the love she never stopped holding on to. “The letters she writes to Lucien include a letter for Helion, don’t they?”

Eris let out a harsh laugh. “It’s reckless after all these years but...I see her face every time she hands me a letter and whenever he sends one back. I’ve watched her wait and suffer for all these years so she could find her way back to herself. And Helion…” His expression was tight as he continued. “He would worship the ground she walks on. He would give her everything that she’s ever wanted and a life that she deserves but we have had to watch her stay here because of us. We had to watch her die little by little each year and could do nothing.” His voice broke at the final word and Eris forced himself to swallow before continuing. “He is a better male than I could ever be. Because if my mate was suffering the way my mother has, I wouldn’t have left a person alive. I would’ve razed the whole fucken continent. I don’t know how he did it. How he still does it after they’ve reconnected.”

It took a moment for Eris to be able to continue. He sighed. “Helion has always been respectful of her choice. Even when he resented it. Even when he hated it.” he said. “Their bond…I don’t think it was ever really rejected because deep down, neither of them wanted that. I think it’s only been strained all these years.”

“And now here they are…” Iris mused quietly, her mind drifting to the conversation about mates she had with Elain earlier. “A mating bond so strong even years apart couldn’t diminish how right it is. It’s a beautiful thing for those lucky enough to find it.”

Eris tensed at her words, his heart skipping a beat. Would she still feel this way about him when he told her? Would she consider herself lucky knowing the kind of shit he had to deal with? He rubbed a trembling hand over his face and continued.

“My mother is ready to leave. I’m just waiting on when,” he murmured. “I’ve been helping her reconnect with her magic and it’s making her stronger, but it’s been hard when she’s so fucken terrified of it.” Iris squeezed his hand and he offered her a thin smile. “She’s always been scared to leave us but my brothers and I can handle the fallout now. We couldn’t before but we will now. We want her to get the fuck out of here. We’ve had enough and she’s most definitely had enough.”

“And you’re all…fine with her going to the Day Court?” Iris asked quietly.

“Yes. A part of me will always resent Helion the way I sometimes resent my mother for all these years of having to deal with this. Even if the fault ultimately always lies with my father.” Eris said tightly. “This could end very badly but once Helion claims her publicly as his mate, my father will have to let her go.”

“Will he, though?” Iris asked, unease creeping into her chest. “What if he invokes the Blood Duel?”

Iris felt the shift in his mood at her question and watched him carefully as he slid his hand from hers and stood. His shoulders tensed even further and Iris felt the room heat up once more. Her stomach dropped as he ran both hands through his hair, his breathing turning shallow again.

“He won’t have a fucken choice. A mating bond trumps everything else.” he growled softly. “But if Beron invokes the blood duel, I can promise that it will only end in agony for him. I will do everything I can to ensure it, even if it means handing Helion the spear to plant in his chest myself. I will do anything. Anything to have him gone and be rid of this misery. I just need him gone without trying to take my mother with him.”

“You said your mother wants the killing blow.” Iris said carefully and she saw his fists clench. “Will that…be possible?”

“She will be ready for it regardless, but we will have to see how the events unfold.” he said in a strained voice. “Helion has enough pent-up rage in him towards my father that I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed him with one well-aimed blow.”

Iris opened her mouth but Eris resumed pacing with another shake of his head and continued.

“Elain’s visions keep telling me that pieces are moving and all we can do is be prepared for whatever is coming next,” he said. “The problem is there are too many things out of my control. There are too many pieces on the fucken chess board and I am — I am going to lose my fucken mind if things keep piling up.”

Iris watched as he took another breath and fisted then flexed his hands. “You don’t have to handle all this alone.” she said and stood, watching the grimace he made at her words. “You can’t stay like this when you have people willing to help you.”

“The more people that help me, the more people get hurt.” Eris snapped and Iris frowned at his tone as he kept pacing. “I can’t — I can’t keep letting that happen.”

“Eris,” she chided gently. “You can’t stop —”

But Eris let out a snarl and Iris blinked to find him aflame once more.

“Don’t.” he said. “I can’t stop because the next person that he’ll hurt if I let one thing slip is you and that will bring hell upon us all.” His snarl shook the room and Iris felt herself tense. “Because if my father touches you. If he so much as looks at you wrong, I will kill him and probably get killed in the process, and then everything we’ve been enduring for years will go up in flames from my stupidity.”

Iris’s face flushed. The anger and shame she had felt earlier had found its way again and the feeling seeped down her body as he stood across from her. “I’m not asking you to kill your father for me, Eris. I’m asking you to ease some of the things you’re carrying so you don’t keep doing this to yourself.” she snapped. “You’re lashing out at me right now while all I’m trying to do is understand what happened with you and find a way to help.”

Eris was breathing hard once more and she braced herself as he walked over to her, his body burning. His hand curled around the nape of her neck and he pulled her flush against him. “I know you’re trying to understand and I’m trying to help you understand how fucked up this all is and how much I have hated every single thing about myself and my life for the longest time. That I have always been a thing my father uses to punish everyone for everything because I can’t stomach him doing it to anyone else.” He took a breath as Iris placed a hand gently on his chest, blinking rapidly. “The only reason my father isn’t dead yet is because I need to make sure it’s a fight I can win. Because if I die, then everyone else is left dealing with him. My mother. My brothers. You.”

His grip tightened on her as he continued, his tone almost frantic. “I’m telling you all these things so you understand that I am fucken terrified of what comes next because things have changed for me and the stakes are even higher and now I am a thing that has someone to leave behind. Someone who will be brutally hurt just because you’re linked to me in a way no one else will ever be.” he said as his wild eyes locked on her wide ones. “I have laid down everything at your feet. All of my armor. Everything that I am and you want to know why? You asked me what had changed earlier. What happened to me.”

“Eris, you need to breathe,” she said even as her heart rate went wild, a hand clenching his arm. “I am listening but I need you to breathe.”

But Eris shook his head and before Iris could open her mouth to say anything else, his expression fell and the grip on the back of her neck tightened once more. “You.” his whisper broken and his eyes watched her wildly, wrapping her in his arm as his flame licked every inch of her. He held her to him tightly, as if afraid she would disappear and slip through his trembling fingers. “You. You. Tell me you see it. Tell me you fucken feel it.”

Iris stared at him. She stared and stared and stared and that feeling, that tug she had felt in her ribcage earlier, seemed to intensify. What he was saying — what he was insinuating. It had crossed her mind only briefly, for one hopeful moment earlier, and yet — here he was, saying — he was saying —

Something had been different since that kiss. Something had been different about him since the moment she met him.

“I — I felt you.” Iris found herself saying then swallowed. “When you were gone and took long. I don’t know how else to describe it but…I felt you.”

“You did?” he asked, nodding. “And what did it feel like?”

“A tug.” she said slowly. “Right in my ribcage. I feel it right now.”

Eris laughed a hollow laugh as he watched her beautiful face, her expression shifting as her mind processed what he was saying.

And Iris blinked. “I kissed you.”

“You did.”

“And everything — it felt so right.”

“You said things were always intense between us.” he said quickly. “That we couldn’t fight the pull we felt towards each other despite the way our relationship started.”

“Yes.”

“You kissed me.” he said almost desperately. “And every single thing in my life suddenly made sense. Every part of me made of stone suddenly became covered in you. Like ivy, wrapping its way around me whether I liked it or not. It was something I had never thought would be mine or something I deserved and yet somehow, this is happening. This is real.”

Iris felt her body start to tremble at his words, the feeling inside her chest unfurling as every moment they had shared together flashed through her mind. Nothing about their relationship had made sense and yet, the two of them seemed to have been destined to find each other. Everything about them, Eris and Iris, fit together like puzzle pieces they hadn’t known were missing. She hadn’t been able to stop him from planting roots within every part of her mind and body, long before she realized what was happening — even when she had wanted nothing to do with him.

He had always been hers and she, his.

Iris stared into his eyes, watching the hope mingle with the desperation he felt, and her hands slacked at her sides. She had spent her life adrift. Alone. She had spent her life barely mattering to anyone at all. Forgotten. And now, in a twist of fate, Iris had found something she hadn’t realized she was even worthy of.

Eris Vanserra had appeared in her life and what she had assumed would be a walk to the gallows, a nightmare like the one he had just returned from, was anything but. He was anything but.

He was her beginning, her middle, and would be her forever.

They had both been lost only to be found within one another, the red string of fate guiding their path.

“This is real.” she finally said and Eris nodded, his gaze never leaving hers.

“This is fucken real.” he said hoarsely. “This is very fucken real.”

Every glance. Every touch. Every moment that had angered her and made her laugh. Every moment that had made her feel. It had all been leading her here.

It had been leading her home.

Iris took a sharp breath and finally whispered the words, “You’re — you’re my mate.”

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eris x oc #eris vanserra fanfic #acotar fanfiction #gfics #smtb chapters #smtb #I'm so!!!#thank you for reading :)#I hope you enjoy!#for all my old smtb readers new chapters will begin NEXT SATURDAY!!#I will go to posting once a week hopefully and it’ll be every Saturday #I hope you all like it 🥹♥️

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