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eviesaurusrex · 2 years ago

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ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ | ᴛ. ᴇɴɢʟᴇʀ

Theo Engler x Fem!Reader

summary: YN and Theo were always close, and everyone thought someday they might end up together—until they got new neighbors. Only after the incident does Theo realize what he always had right in front of his eyes.

word count: 3.5k

warnings: mentions of head trauma and a leg injury, mentions of a hospital environment, two idiots in love, Matthew being the wingman Theo needs, quick mention of past unhealthy relationships (really, super short), sarcasm, fluff

author’s note: I’ve been rewatching season 3 and rediscovered my love for Theo. I really tried not to describe the reader’s looks—except for her clothes—to make this one as inclusive as possible and appropriate for all female readers. If I did at some point describe the reader’s skin or eyes or hair etc., through explicit colors or forms instead of something metaphorical, please let me know, and I will correct it (because, in that case, it must’ve slipped my eyes while proofreading) :3

***

He woke through the massive pounding in his head, making him groan and gasp for air at the stinging and unpleasant as hell feeling. “Fuck,” was Theo’s first word while he blinked into the sunlight falling through the window into the sterile-white room. He could hear people outside the half-opened door while his eyes wandered over the room—a hospital room—and stopped at the sight of a beautiful bouquet consisting of periwinkles, lavender, small hydrangeas, and delphiniums.

He knew these flowers by heart because…

Blinking to stop the sudden tears from falling, Theo slowly sat up and stretched his hand out to touch the delicate petals with their enticing scents, reminding him of her. She had always smelled like the walking and living personification of spring, always bringing him comfort if he needed it, but mostly reminded him that good things, and good people, still existed in this world even though he sometimes doubted it.

“She always brought a new one as soon as the first flowers started to wilt.”

Matthew’s voice almost sent Theo into cardiac arrest, pushing him to pull his hand back as if he was caught doing something illegal—or filthy. But one look at the man he had always considered a father figure told him that quite the opposite was the case, and he took a deep breath. “She… she was here?” The thought alone of her sitting on the uncomfortable-looking chair, standing right next to the white bed, watching over him with those worried lines between her eyebrows he always had wanted to erase, was too good to be true.

Especially considering how he had treated her in the past couple of months—or, better, how he had ignored her existence entirely.

His dad settled down onto the chair he knew she would’ve hated but still wouldn’t mind ruining her back on, a cup of coffee in his hands, holding onto it for dear life. He stared, didn’t let his eyes wander from his face, as if he was scared he wouldn’t be awake when he looked again. “I had to force her to go home. Every day. That girl would have stayed here and given a flying fuck on sleep if it meant she could keep watching over you. Most stubborn person I ever met.” Matthew shook his head in mild wonder before taking his son in again. “You treated her badly, Theo.” And Theo could hear the screaming loud reproach in those softly spoken words and knew where it came from. He knew how much his dad had liked the girl he one day had brought home and had continued to do so ever since. She had been practically a part of their family.

A deep sigh left the young man as he nodded slowly and carefully, his head still a throbbing pain in his ass, to which now his leg and knee joined to form one big party of pain. But he deserved this more than anything else. “Did she say anything?” He needed, no, had to know if there still was a chance for him and his salvation, only grantable by her.

Matthew shrugged. “Not much. Not to me, at least. I think she talked to you quite a lot. Well, it was more of a rambling nature, but I think she told you about everything you missed out on after you decided to shout at her and call her a jealous bitch and all that fun stuff I overheard that night. And yes, I have to remind you of it to get one thing in your head.” Theo swallowed thickly, his stomach turning and twisting as the pictures of that night invaded his mind again. It made him feel sick to think of her tears again. “You treated her like shit, and still, she came all the way back here after hearing what happened to you. She came back, and only force could part her from this room. So, either she lost her mind and memories of you being a total dick, or she still loves you.”

All the oxygen got pressed out of his lungs at those last words. Theo could feel how his mouth partly hung open, felt how his mind had trouble keeping up with these thoughts.

She… loved him?

She was supposed to love him?

“I think you misinterpreted some stuff,” Theo finally muttered after minutes of stretching silence, his heart pounding in his chest. He was glad that he wasn’t hooked onto the heart monitor standing left to his bed. That thing would freak out and would call every nurse and doctor on this floor into his room. With another sigh, he rubbed over his mouth and jaw and shook his head in denial. “She doesn’t love me. Never had. Never will. We were only… friends.” Though he finally could admit that deep in his mind and deep in his heart, he had always felt… more, since the very start, probably since their first encounter at Stanford when she ran into him and spilled her steaming chai latte all over his hoodie. The memory made a smile tuck at his lips. And now, remembering her radiant smile after he had assured her that the hoodie already had been on the Throw this old shit in the garbage list, his heart started to ache because fuck, he missed her.

Matthew watched him quietly, a pleased expression settling on his tired face, mixed in with the relief of seeing his son awake. He knew he should call or at least text her to let her know that Theo was alright, but he also knew that she had her exams and decided to keep silent for a bit longer—for both their sakes. First, he had to make sure that his blind idiot of a son finally realized what he had right in front of his eyes all this time. And Matthew thought that he had made some progress. “I know you, Theo. I might not be the number one dad with all the Best Dad trophies and cups lining up on the shelves, but I still know you. I have eyes and some experience with being an idiot in love myself. I know what I saw, and that wasn’t mere friendship.” He patted Theo’s shoulder and finally pressed the call button to let the doctor know that his son was finally awake, letting him think in peace.

***

Being back in Madre Linda was connected with that strange feeling of loneliness. YN couldn’t quite describe how it felt and only knew that it was all-consuming and ever-present. She had never been at home in this weird suburban dream, never really particularly fitted into this strange, split-off part of reality. The death of her parents and only living relatives right at the beginning of her first month at Stanford wasn’t really helpful with that, either. Only T—…

No.

Shaking her head violently, the young woman forbade herself to go down that road again. It was bad enough how much time she had spent in that damned hospital, watching over him like she had some weird claim or right to do so, to act like a worried girlfriend because, obviously, she wasn’t even a friend anymore. It was even worse how much she craved to go back, to just jump into the car and drive back there, to tell his unconscious mind all the things she couldn’t tell him in the past months because of what had happened. She couldn’t even be mad at the woman who ruined her only real and good relationship with a man because that poor woman was dead.

And one wasn’t supposed to speak ill of the dead.

Sighing, YN pulled on the long sleeves of the flowy blouse with the many flower-formed embroideries—a bad habit she couldn’t let go of—before she stretched her arm and got a hold of the book on the top shelf in the library. Carefully, she put it atop the other one already resting in the crook of her left arm, and while her fingers gently stroked over the hardcover, her eyes wandered over the rows next to her, scanning for another one of her favorites. Finding it, she grabbed it and went over to the desk, smiling at the familiar sight of the blind librarian.

“Hey, Dante,” she greeted him in a library-appropriate voice—not too loud, but not a whisper either—and put the three books onto the counter. “So, it’s true. Our very own YN is back in town.” Her smile widened at that, and gently pressed his fingers in return after he had found her hand. “Yeah, well. You know what they say: You’ll always get dragged back.”

She wasn’t sure if she was a fan of that habit.

Dante nodded with a thoughtful look on his face, his eyes staring into the black void that was his constant companion. “I’m happy you’re back for as long as you want,” the man smiled and pressed her fingers a second time before moving to the books. “And what do we have here… Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, and Pride and Prejudice.” YN chuckled softly at his raised brows. “You know me, Dante. I’m nothing but a creature of habit.” That’s probably also why she couldn’t keep her distance from the boy who had insulted her in more than just one way.

Recreating our past unhealthy habits and relationships, aren’t we?

The voice in her head had much to say these past couple of weeks, and it was a miracle to get her to shut up. She should be named the hero of the nation on those rare days.

“And that’s why I like you, YNN. Okay, okay, and because you probably saved my marriage multiple times by looking after the kids when we needed a night out.” They both grinned to themselves as Dante checked out her books and put the receipt with the return date into the first book. “Speaking of my dear husband. We would love it if you’d come by for dinner while you’re here.” YN gently squeezed his wrist and nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “’Think I can do that. But only when I’m allowed to finally meet the new addition to your family.” The surprise on his face was priceless. “Nothing stays a secret long in this town, D,” she giggled and put her books back into the crook of her arm, pressing her priced possessions against her chest. “I’ll come around on Friday. See you, favorite librarian!”

And with that, she left the library, her favorite place in this vestibule of hell itself, and walked out into the sunlight streaming down through the lush green leaves of the trees around her. Taking a deep breath and inhaling the scents of blossoming flowers and watered grass, YN got a tighter hold on her books while pulling out the phone from the back pocket of her jeans and started scrolling through the text messages and mails she had received in the past two hours since leaving the house and spending them in her little corner of happiness. But her attention got stolen away on her way to the car by a voice so familiar it hurt somewhere deep down inside of her hearing it again.

“My love, my heart, my everything,

I know I've made mistakes, and caused you pain,

But please believe me when I say,

I never meant to hurt you in any way.”

YN stopped dead in her tracks at the first sound of his words and slowly turned to a waiting car with a living Theo Engler next to it on crutches, whose eyes were fixated on her.

“I was foolish and blind, and couldn't see,

The love and happiness you gave to me,

But now I see it all so clearly,

And I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused dearly.

I know it won't be easy to forgive,

The wounds I've left, the scars that live,

But I promise you, with all my heart,

I'll never let us drift apart.”

Her lips parted in utter surprise because she knew poems weren’t his thing, especially not writing them himself. And her brain didn’t catch up to the meaning behind his words, not understanding why he would say these things to her of all people. But she couldn’t stop him. She couldn’t even move from her spot.

“I'll make it up to you, in every way,

I'll show you love, each and every day,

I'll be there for you, through thick and thin,

And make sure our love will never dim.

So please my love, give me a chance,

To show you how much I truly romance,

I'm sorry for messing things up,

And I promise, I'll never give up.”

He stood awkwardly there as the last syllable left his mouth, and YN could sense how uncomfortable it made him that people had stopped and had started to watch like idiots. She felt it herself, the burning feeling of staring eyes in her sides and back, but instead of running away, she slowly walked over to him while Theo started to hobble over to her. They met a few feet down the way of the library and stared one another in the eye, observing each other closely after not sharing a room or close proximity—with both participants fully conscious—in weeks.

She could smell his cologne or aftershave—YN still wasn’t sure what it was—and instinctively leaned in closer, her fingers gripping tighter onto the books in her arm. Theo had bent his head to her, his eyes taking her in and an unsure smile playing around his mouth.

“What-what was this?”

Finally, she had dared to ask, her voice more a whisper than a demanding tone how she had initially intended to sound because, after all, she still was hurt. She couldn’t make this easy on him, but fucking hell, she knew she would cave. Her foolish heart always made her do it at some point.

YN watched as he bit his bottom lip before taking a breath. “I treated you like shit, YNN,” Theo started, and she just had to cock a brow in mocking sarcasm. “You don’t say.” A weak smile appeared on his lips, and a soft chuckle left his throat, which let a shiver run down her entire spine. “I deserve that, yup.” Keeping her mouth shut for the moment, the woman allowed him to continue. “My dad told me that you… well, that you visited me while I was knocked out, even though I treated you like shit before. And he said things that made me think.”—”Oh, now you can use that brain up there? Is it working again? Took you long enough, idiot.” Nope, she couldn’t shut her mouth indefinitely, so much was obvious, but Theo didn’t seem to mind. Instead, that weak smile formed into a soft grin. “Will you let me get to the point before you insult me further, which I totally deserve, and you have every right to do so? I will happily accept every insult thrown my way if it means I can keep you close.”

With a pleased nod, YN moved her hand in a proceeding motion. “You may continue.” And Theo did. “I finally realized what an ass I’ve been and how blind I was. Or… I don’t know, maybe I was in denial because you’re this stunning girl who happened to run into me, and maybe I thought, why should someone like her like me more than a best buddy, so I kept telling myself that it’s stupid to even think about it, and then I got sidetracked with you-know-who, and now that I know what I’ve been feeling all this time, I had to—”

Instead of letting him continue his rambling confession, YN put her free hand into his neck and pulled his face to her, pressing their lips together to shut him up. She could feel how he stopped breathing for a few moments, just like she did at the electrifying taste of his lips on hers before a clattering sound almost made her break the kiss, but his arm, gently wrapping around her waist, was enough to let her keep going for the moment.

“Theo.” It was only a whisper against his lips, into the kiss, her mind still not believing that this was really happening. She had been head over heels for this boy since their unlucky, and probably unpleasant for him, encounter in front of her favorite coffee shop on campus, immediately falling for his dimpled smile and fun way. He had made her feel… light as a cloud and happy as a sunflower in radiant sunlight. Since then, so much had happened, so much time had passed, and YN had made sure that her feelings would be hidden in a box underneath her metaphorical bed, only tended to when she was alone, but mostly ignored. At least she had tried her best.

And this hiding game should now be over? It was a mind-blowing thought, really.

His soft lips pulled her out of her head and back to him, standing in the sunlight and kissing as she had always dreamed about. YN almost whimpered as Theo broke the kiss but was appeased by the soft peck on her lips. “Please tell me that you didn’t just kiss me to shut my embarrassing and annoying mouth,” he begged, mumbling, while their foreheads rested against one another, and suddenly, their eyes locked. Slowly, she shook her head and saw relief flooding his pretty eyes. “I wanted to kiss you since the Chai Latte incident because you, Theo Engler, are an adorable idiot with tendencies to being funny, and frankly, you’re hot.” A wide grin formed on both their faces at YN’s confession. “Those lyrical abilities are improve-worthy, though,” she added and laughed loudly as his fingers started to tickle her side. “Excuse me?! That was almost Shakespearean! As if the man himself got a hold of my soul and let me express these words. You clearly are out of your mind, m’lady.”

Eye rolling, YN giggled before turning serious again. “Even though I kissed you, it doesn’t mean I’m not mad anymore. Because I am. Because fuck. You really hurt me, Theo.” He watched her with worried eyes as those adorable lines appeared between her brows again, and he couldn’t hold back his thumb as it started to gently caress them away. She watched him as well and tried to relax her forehead underneath his tender touch. “I know, YNN. But I will try to make this right. Just, please, give me a chance. I would go down on both knees to beg properly, but that’s not possible, so we have to be satisfied with this. So, I beg for your forgiveness and for another chance because I am deeply and entirely sorry for being such a douchebag.”—”And ass,” YN added, and Theo nodded. “And an ass.”

Humming as if she was deep in thought, the woman cocked her head from one side to the other, almost turning Theo into a puddle of anxiety. “How about this: You could invite me to a chai latte when your leg is better, and we could have a proper first date?” And now, he almost was a puddle of relief. “Yes. Yes! Definitely! Absolutely. Yeah.” YN grinned at that and gently cupped his cheek to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I still will kiss you from time to time until then,” she promised with a shy, small smile and let him press a soft kiss to her lips before she quickly bent down to get the dropped crutch back under his arm. Theo mumbled a Thank you and felt his heart beat even faster than this entire time at the tender act of support and heard the blood rush in his ears as she accompanied him to the car with her hand softly resting on his back and her steps just as slow as he was.

At the car, she only then realized that Matthew was there and probably had watched them the entire time. He still smiled in her direction and waved through the open window on the passenger’s side. “Hey, YNN. Good to see you again.” She waved back, more awkwardly than ever before, and attempted a smile with less embarrassment than she felt. “Hey, Mr. Engler,” was her only response as she opened the door for Theo, and he smiled at her after he finally sat in the seat. “I’ll call you, flower,” he promised with a wider smile as she bent over to press a kiss to his cheek. “You better, or I will throw eggs at your window. No offense, Mr. Engler.” The man only shook his head with a grin before turning the engine on. “You don’t even have a good throwing arm and aim, pretty.” The gentle hit against the back of his head made him chuckle under his breath before taking her hand in his and pressing a kiss to her palm. “I won’t disappear again, ‘promise.”

And with that, they said their Goodbye’s, and YN watched them drive off before walking over to her own car and getting in. But before she could even turn on the engine, her phone started to ring, and after a quick look at the showing picture on her screen, she accepted the call with a laugh.

“I told you I call, pretty flower.”

***

First time writing for Theo, so be gentle with me! I really hope you liked this one :3 As usual: Comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated!

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