#WOW he sure came out of left field

[fbfh]

fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck theo engler motherFUCKER he got me bad.

this one.

you know, the 19 year old feminism and gender studies major who's a little too charming for his own good and a habit of falling way too hard for married women???? the one who's a little too charming and a little too prone to trying to drunk text you on a regular basis because he can't quite muster up the will power to give up on you????? the one who looks you dead in the eyes and says "the real reason I'm flunking out is because I can't stop thinking about you"?????? YEAH. THAT ONE.

[stsgooo]

Look at Him.

✩࿐ summary: your attempts at reentering the dating scene is foiled by your ex-husband.

warning(s): past relationship, clingy!gojo, ex-husband!gojo, co-parenting situation, crack fic. wc; 1.6k

pairing(s): gojo satoru x fem!reader

a/n: this is purely just a goof fic because i've put nothing but angst out there so far sooo have a laugh. hope yall enjoy :3

“So, what do you do for a living?”

"A teacher."

"Oh, wow! What grade, subject?"

"Uh, highschoolers and the subject kinda varies on the day."

"Like a substitute teacher?"

"Um....sure, yeah! Substitute teacher."

"That's awesome. Mad respect, kids can be demons."

You were quickly discovering that the dating field had changed in the five years that you had been married. An endless back and forth about what someone did, what's their favorite color, what's their hobbies. Boring questions that you would ask your students on the first day was used in over the table date conversation. Until, until, they got to that question they so desperately wanted to ask.

Would you want to take this back to my—

There was a vibration against your thigh as your date started to go onto a monologue about how much he disliked kids. In all honesty, you couldn't really remember his name. The introductions had been awkward and a little nerve wracking— you were almost sure he had no idea who you were either.

You tugged your phone out of your pocket and resisted the audible sigh that threatened to leave you when you saw the notification.

Satoru please tell me why my beautiful, radiant, amazing, intelligent daughter just said her mommy is on a date. feeling sick to my stomach, don't tell me this is true.

You rolled your eyes. Your ex-husband had always been so overdramatic. His main focus was always on the bit that could come from a situation. However, this was a quality you do used to admire about him. His ability to make any situation seem like it was a funny happenstance that you'd never encounter again.

Now, it was nothing more than a nuisance.

Satoru oh my god, you left me on read. it's true. it's true. i hope you know i just threw up. i threw up everywhere. i might die. at least, tell me he's ugly. please god let him to be ugly.

A sigh, you typed out the quickest message you could without your date asking what's wrong.

You I hope you're not ignoring said daughter to ask me about some date. I'll be home later, please refrain from texting me.

You were about to set your phone down when another text came through. This one appeared to more distraught than the last.

Satoru o h your tone. it's over. it's really over. i might just kill myself this is the worst night of my life. y/n, i'm genuinely feeling sick. please, is he ugly? he must be boring because you're texting back.

You were almost inclined to remind Satoru you both had been divorced for a year already. That this was bound to happen and you two had, in fact, spoken about it months into the divorce. You had played with some 'what if's and there was a mutual agreement that the other wouldn't get jealous and be dramatic about the other getting in a relationship whenever the time comes. It was a surprisingly adult conversation.

You should've known better when Satoru proudly proclaimed he didn't care who you got involved with.

You Satoru, we talked about this. We're adults and we're divorced. Please bother someone else, like Suguru.

Satoru i don't wanna talk to suguru. i wanna talk to youuu (;﹏;) i can't believe you've done this. ten years. ten years of loyalty. im sick to my stomach.

You You asked for the divorce.

"Is everything okay?"

You eyes snapped up from your phone and towards your date. He had the good grace to be wearing a relatively concerned expression, eyeing you wearily.

You quickly tucked your phone back into your pocket, ignoring the insistent vibrations it gave to smile apologetically. "I'm sorry, my daughter had an accident and I had to, you know, send a quick text to her babysitter." It was easier to explain away a daughter than it was a clingy ex-husband who was well in his dissent into insanity. Really, you were doing this guy a favor keeping him in the dark.

However, his face still paled and he straightened. "You have a kidI'm so, so sorry. I just went on a two minute rant about how much kids are equivalent to demons." He seemed to spiral as he pressed his hands against his face, uttering curses to himself. "I get so nervous with these dates. I truly meant nothing by it."

You smiled in amusement, "It's no problem, really. I'm not exactly disagreeing." He peeked from between his fingers and blinked at you dumbly. "Just because I'm a parent doesn't mean I don't agree. I mean, my kid can be a bit much sometimes. I love her, but she's a lot like her dad in that way."

It always made your chest blossom. The way Saori was a carbon copy of Satoru. From the rambunctious personality, to the piercing blue eyes, and white hair. Your genes hadn't won in the battle, but you were almost grateful. Satoru tried to tell you that she had your smile and your wit, but you weren't entirely convinced. She was Satoru and Satoru was her.

You were extremely lucky that he was a good dad.

"Oh? Do you mind me asking if her dad's still around?" His tone was indication enough: a daughter and an ex of some kind was pushing it for him.

You tensed up, feeling deep regret already. "Uh, yeah." His eyes shifted away and you reached forward, taking his hand. "But, he's not, like, crazy or anything! He's just a good dad."

Your date chuckled nervously. "I-I just don't want to get involved in some, um, some family dynamic."

You thought it was a little presumptuous of him to think this would go that far, or he'd get in the way. But you were too focused on defusing the situation.

"Oh, no, it's not like that! We've got a healthy balance, y'know? He does his piece, I do mine— that's it!"

He scrunched his face. "So... an open relationship?"

"No!" You press your hands against your face with a huff. "No, we're not together anymore. We just co-parent."

He opened his mouth to further question you when your phone vibrated very audibly. His eyebrows raising. "Your daughter?"

You sighed. "Please give me one moment."

With jerky movements, you pull your phone from your pocket. The assortment of messages that came where spread over the ten minutes you decided to ignore him.

Satoru okay, you've got me there. but my big heart is breaking. i hope he's ugly and he smells. okay, i spoke with suguru and he said i'm an idiot who should apologize. in my defense, i'm a little itty bitty drunk. and no, saori is not awake. papa put her to bed before bringing out the whiskey. im so sorry my beautiful deity. that not ugly, not smelly man is so lucky to be in your presence and i hope you have a good date. also i hope he gets hit my a car. (＾▽＾)

You I'm going to kill you with my bare hands. Genuinely, count your days, Gojo Satoru.

Satoru hot, hot, hot!!! (●´□`)♡ did he actually get hit by a car?

You Is there something you want?

Satoru him dead. and you home :((((

You You don't want me home. I swear to god, if you're on my couch, drinking when I get home, I will ruin your life.

Satoru promise??? ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡ but, actually, i wanted to ask your opinion on something

You For real?

Satoru for realsies. [Image Attachment]

Completely blinded by your irritation, you don't even hesitate to open the picture as it loads. Although you regret it the moment it does.

It's a picture of Satoru. He's at what seems to be the beach (must've been the fun activity him and Saori were going to join Suguru for), his sunglasses were on the top of his head, and he was grinning at the picture. One hand was resting against his pectoral and the veins in his hand was prominent. An obvious attempt at being charming and flirtatious. It was working too.

If it weren't for the fact that you knew him and were his ex, you might've just swooned.

"Oh, my god, is that him?" Your date was staring at your phone with wide eyes. His face even more pale than before. He started to shake his head as he stood, snatching his jacket from the back of his chair. "No way. I am not getting involved! I'm sorry, you're a nice woman, but I know when I'm not winning. And I'm definitely not winning against that."

Your eyes widened considerably, "What? No! Please don't leave. He's an idiot, I swear there's nothing—"

"He is... a hunk. I am not. In no shape or form am I at all comparable to that. Look—" He reached forward, grabbing your phone and holding the picture up to be beside his face. "Look at the difference! Model who has won Japan's hottest man at least eight times before he's 30 to me— Look at him!"

"It's not even like that!" You snatched your phone back and stared at him in frustration. "He's my ex, I do not want him!"

He waved his hands in front of your face. "I know how this will go. You think you like me and then your super hot and super sexy ex-whatever makes you realize the familiarity is good. Then I get dumped." He straightened, latching his hands onto the lapels of his jacket. "I just realized I am a side character. In my own life. Goddammit."

He barely glanced at you as he paid for the dinner, then left as quickly as he could. Still, you didn't even know his name.

Satoru oooo taking you awhile to respondddd still in love with me? (人◕ω◕)

[alicechess]

Art x reader part 2

Note: This hasn't been proof read, so my bad if it's not the greatest I smashed this out in like 4 hours. So not the highest quality chapter. I might fix this up at one point, heavy maybe.

@ch1hvro

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You felt ill after the shift, it could be explained, it absolutely could be, right? Just a coincidence, a man dressing up to be a dick, then point at the plastic ring on your hand because he thought it was amusing, and joked that it was him who gave it. Yeah, just a joke, coincidence. You settled on it being a coincidence. 

As soon as you got home, you took the ring of and but it on your bedside table, you didn't want to wear it, you were meant to Halloween night, but it completely slipped your mind. 

However, that night, you heard on the news he somehow escaped the morgue today, in the morning. The news reporters stated the injuries, and allegedly a few people who work in the medical field said how unlikely it would've been for him to survive. They then stated that the poor mortician was brutally murdered too from him, because of course he had to do it. Does that mean it is possible he came to your work today? If that was him, why? He didn't have any blood, or any visible injuries at least. He moved perfectly fine. 

You shook your head, there was no point in thinking about it. If you saw him again, then it absolutely wasn't a coincidence, as there would be no way to justify it. You then turned the TV off, then went to bed. The thoughts of him stuck in your mind as you laid there, the whole day repeating over in your head. How his attention was stuck on you, why that specific Cafe, and although again, the ring may just be him being a dick and not knowing. It still bothered you, all of that happening within the span of an hour. Eventually you fell asleep, your dreams, of course, had him there too. 

The next morning you awoke in a cold sweat, your heart racing rapidly. Once you glanced around and noticed you were in your room, you felt relief.

Just a dream

Maybe you needed to ignore the news, take a break from social media for a few days or even a week. You had no doubt some people would be talking about stuff, but you just had to hope you wouldn't overhear anything. Maybe it'd be good to take a day off, though you knew your boss would be pissed and so as your co-workers. You've barely taken days off the whole year, maybe 3 at most. 

You decided to send a message to your boss, explaining that you have some family stuff going on, and if you could take the day off tomorrow. 

Hopefully he'd be fine with it.

You started getting ready, after showering

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You walked into the door of the Café, the ringing bell irritated your ears. You walked into the back, you had to do a bunch of dishes from last night since one of the other workers had to leave early. Your co-worker spotted then greeted you, "Hey, you look like shit."

You rolled your eyes, "Wow, what a nice way to say good morning Charlie." 

They gave you a cocky smile, "I know I know, I'm wonderful aren't I?"

That damn smile was contagious, "Aww, and I've got you smiling too."

A small chuckle left you, "Yeah yeah, anyway, how longs your shift today? Anyone else in?"

"Uhh, till about 4. I have another job on the side to earn extra. And no, Laurie left about 10 minute ago, she had to leave early as she had an appointment."

"Ew, that's gotta be painful, and god damn it, it would've been nice having a third for today.

"It's painful, but moneys money, world can't go on without it." They sighed, "And I'm trying to save for a new car, the shitbox out there ain't gonna last much longer." They said, taking the eggs out the frypan. "Anyway, can we talk more during our break? Can't have customers complaining."

"Yeah sure, that'd be great actually." They then walked out with the plate of food. 

Your morning was a lot easier to deal with after that interaction, although you hated to admit it, they were annoying at times but you loved them. They were a great friend, and made working a lot easier to tolerate.

You filled the sink and placed the dishes in there, cleaning the least dirty to the most. More and more dishes came, but you tried your best to stay ahead. The dishwasher was going to take forever and only could do a small amount at a time, so this is unfortunately a job that had to be done.

After about an hour, you were close to being finished, and so was the dishwasher. After, you put the dishes away, then went up to your Charlie to check if they needed help with anything.

"To be honest, not really, business is slower than normal, which is a fucking relief." They whispered, so none of the customers could hear. 

"Nice, is Chloe gonna be here soon? It would be nice if she could cover the register, and we can chill in the back."

They shrugged, "Not sure, she's meant to be here at some point today but that's all I know."

You groaned, "Alright, since business is slow should I just sweep and mop now?" 

You heard that cursed bell ring, and you heard a honk. You instantly turned around, wondering what that noise was. 

"What the fuck..." Charlie muttered under their breath.

Your eyes widened, bile rose up in your throat. You stood still for a few moments as you locked eyes with that fucker, then you sprinted towards the staff toilet. You leaned over, the breakfast you ate not longer ago instantly came up. Your throat burned as acid tore at your throat. You clenched the toilet bowl as it kept going. You body shook rapidly from fear and shock.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Why is he here, it was meant to be a fucking coincidence. Do I have a murderer stalking me?

You weren't sure what to do, but after about a minute you heard your Charlie running over.

"Hey, hey!" They said crouching down, rubbing your back. "What the hell was that? Are you okay?"

You nodded, "Yeah...." You croakily mumbled, your legs wobbling as you slowly stood up.

"Stay there if you need to, I can handle the front for a bit." 

You shook your head, "I'll be fine, it's fine. Just give me a minute and I'll clean up."

"Look Chloe should be here soon, when she gets here I'll explain you were sick so you had to leave. Got it?"

You rolled your eyes, "I'll be okay, I just got nauseous.-"

"No, you're heading home when she gets here."

You wanted to argue, but you knew it was probably a good idea. You didn't want to see... it again. 

"Fine, can I help just till she gets here?"

"Yeah sure, just don't overwork yourself and let me know if you feel ill again."

You nodded, moving towards the sink to splash water on your face. "Alright, I'm gonna head back, don't rush yourself I can handle it." They patted your back again, then walked off.

You looked down at your shirt, and thankfully there was no vomit. So, you went back to helping Charlie. As soon as you were in the doorway you spotted him, sitting down. "Hey, is it okay if you could pass this to the customer in the clown suit real quick? I just need to prepare another order."

You nodded, trying to not show your fear to them. "Yeah, of course!"

While you walked over, you noticed his eyes were on you. You looked at the floor, knowing it was rude but you were so afraid. You put the pancakes down in front of the clown. "Here's your order... sir." You mumbled, giving a forced smile. As you starting walking away, he beeped the horn. 

"Did you need something?" 

He nodded, gesturing you to come closer.

He looked at your hand, a frown forming on his face. But not a second later is was replaced with that eerie smile. He stared at you as he purposely knocked the plate down onto the floor. It shattered onto the ground. He covered his mouth, giving an exaggerated 'Oops' face. A few customers looked over giving a confused and concerned expression.

Your face turned into a thin line, what the fuck "I'm sorry sir, I'll be back." You quickly muttered, walking to Charlie, "Hey, look I can't do this right now, can you please talk to the clown? I'll do whatever you were doing before. I'm just really uncomfortable around him."

They nodded, noticing you were shaken up. "Yeah that's fine, but what's going on? You look horrified, did something happen?"

You shook your head, "It's nothing, just can you help him?"

"Okay, I'll do that now, you just need to make a strawberry milkshake for table 5 while I deal with the clown."

"Easy." You immediately started to work on it, you scooped the ice-cream, poured the milk and strawberry-flavoured syrup and then blended it. You occasionally heard words from your Charlie while they were trying to communicate with the clown. But of course it went nowhere. As you were pouring the milkshake into a plastic cup, they came up to you. "I have no idea what he wants, he's not responding at all to me. I clean up the mess, but I don't know what else to do. Was he at least responding to you?"

"Yeah, I guess, but I really, really don't want to talk to him. He's... scaring me." You glanced at the floor, feeling embarrassed. 

"It's okay, I'll figure something out. Other customers are starting to feel uncomfortable as well. Fuck, Chloe needs to get here soon."

"Yeah, hopefully, should I contact the boss?" 

They nodded, "Can you contact Chloe first? We need her here soon."

"I'll do that now, I'll try and make it quick." You hurried out to the back again, pulling out your phone. You dialled her number, but it immediately when to voice mail. "What the fuck..." You murmured, trying again. And again. You groaned, then decided to send her a quick message.

Y/n: Hey, are you still coming into work today? 

You hoped she'd read it soon, then you dialled your bosses number. Thankfully, you heard her voice on the other end. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, I heard from Charlie that Chloe would be coming in today at some point. What time would she be here? She isn't picking up any of my calls. "

You heard a sigh on the other end, "Give me a moment."

After 15 seconds of rustling sounds, she answered. "Alright, it says she'd be on around 2pm till 8pm. Is she not there?"

"No, she's not. It's 2:30."

You heard another sigh from your boss, "I'll try and contact her, that's all I can do. Is that all you needed?"

"No, I was wondering what to do about a customer. One of them is making me and Charlie uncomfortable. He keeps.... just doing stuff."

"If you want advice I need more details." 

You took a deep breath in, "For one he's in a clown outfit, which in itself isn't bad but it's just how he's acting doing it too. If that makes sense, and he purposely broke one of our plates, and acted like it was all funny. He then wouldn't talk to Charlie, only me. It's just such bizarre behaviour."

"Normally threatening them with the police will cause them to stop, but if he continues call the non-emergency line for the police. That's it."

"Alright, thank you."

"Bye." She said, the line ending.

You walked back to the register to talk to your Charlie. "Chloe was meant to be here at 2. What the fuck do we do? She isn't picking up my calls, she's not answering my messages and the boss just told us to threaten the clown with the police but fuck that I'm not comfortable with it I don't know him and he's scaring-"

"Calm down, you're gonna be okay. This isn't a big deal you'll be fine we can figure this out. I'll talk to him."

You glanced over your shoulder to look at the clown. He was sitting there, his chin resting on his hands, giving you a wink. 

"God fucking damn it." Your muttered under your breath, he waved at you, then gesturing for him to come over again. "He wants me to go over again, what do I do? What the fuck do I do?"

Charlie bit their bottom lip, "I can go over if you like and try again, but I doubt he'll listen."

"Fuck, fine, I'll fucking doing it." You whisper-yelled, immediately going over towards the clown. You noticed most of the customers had left. How had no one called the police yet? Maybe they thought it was someone trying to be funny? 

"Hello sir, is there anything I can help you with?"

The clown told you to stop, raising his pointer-finger. He then went through the garbage bag next to him. You heard the sounds of metal hitting metal, making you feeling almost as sick as before. He pulled out an envelope. You stared at it for a moment, noticing brown splotches over it. It looked like dried blood. You also noticed how there was a bump inside. You were about to place it down, but he gestured for you to open it.

You stared with widened eyes, really not wanting to. "I'm sorry sir... I-"

The clown gestured one more time, a deep frown on his face. You were afraid, so begrudgingly, you open it. And inside was a chunk of blonde hair, with a small amount of dyed-blue strands. You pulled it out and saw a piece of someone's scalp was attached. The blonde hair looked identical to Chloe's. You placed it back down onto the table, stepping back. 

"Why.... what did she do to you?"

You knew what he did. It was obvious. But all you wanted to know is why. Yeah she could be bitchy at times, but she never had bad intentions. Not anything worthy of her fucking dying.

The Clown silently giggled, slapping his knee like it was the funniest joke in the world. He pointed at you, mimicking a horrified look and then continued laughing. 

"Oh fuck this." You muttered, Charlie looked over and saw the terrified look on your face. "Charlie we need to get the fuck out now!" You yelled, grabbing their arm, dragging them into the kitchen. To get out through the front, you would've had to walk past him again, and that was not something that you wanted. 

You shoved them inside and slammed the door shut, locking it. "Grab a knife Charlie." They didn't ask questions, just grabbing it off the bench. The clown was walking over towards the counter, where you'd pass food through to the person at the register. He stood there smiling. 

"Nope, don't look just fucking get out." You urgently said to Charlie, grabbing their arm and leading them to the back door. You unlocked it ran out with them. You rummaged through your pockets and grabbed your keys, your hands shaking as you tried to open the car door. 

"Y/n your tires have been fucking slashed!" 

"Oh for fuck sake!" You yelled, this time they dragged you. You dropped your keys while they pulled you, "My keys!"

"It doesn't matter Y/n! There's a fucking psycho chasing us." 

You followed them, running to the nearest store. You looked behind, noticing the clown was behind, with that fucking garbage bag thrown on it's shoulder. 

As Charlie ran into the store, they yelled to call the police. They didn't care about scaring the workers, they just needed to make sure the both of you were safe. The woman at the register looked confused. They ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind the both of you. They fumbled with their phone, dialling the emergency number. 

"What's your emergency?"

"There's a fucking psycho chasing after us! He's trying to fucking kill us!" They yelled, sounding hysterical. 

"Okay, calm down. Are you safe right now?"

"I think so, we've locked ourselves in a random stores bathroom. We don't know where he is right now."

"Okay, what did he look like?"

"He-he was wearing a black and white clown outfit, like the one from the news!"

"Alright...." The operator said, sounding like they thought it was a prank call, but they still continued.

"What store are you in right now?" 

Charlie turned to you, "Do you know where we ran to?"

You shook your head, "I-I wasn't paying attention, I'm sorry!"

"It's fine." Charlie murmured, "We don't know, but can you guys track the phone?"

The woman sighed, "Yes we can, but if this is a prank call you will be in serious trouble."

"We aren't fucking lying, my fucking car tires were slashed and this fucker gave me an envelope with co-workers scalp in it! Get the damn police here right now or we could get brutally murdered!" You screamed at the operator.

"Please calm down, the police are on their way." The operator said, "Please stay on the line, are you hearing anything outside of the bathroom?"

Charlie spoke up, "No, it's oddly quiet out there, I... I don't know where he is. I don't know if he followed us in or not. We didn't look around."

The only thing you could hear was cars driving by, it was otherwise painfully silent.

"Fuck what happened to Chloe, oh god I hope she's okay. Please Chloe be okay." You whimpered, dropping to the ground. "Fuck I'm sorry Chloe, I'm so sorry." Tears welled up in your eyes, then started streaming down your face.

Charlie knelt down, placing their phone on the tiled floor, "Hey, it's okay, Chloe might still be out there. Probably not in the best condition but still maybe out there." They gently hugged you.

You sniffled, "What if that psycho grabbed my keys, I'm not even going to be safe in my own fucking home." You sobbed, "I didn't even do anything to him!" 

"I know, some people are just messed up, but you'll be okay, I'll make sure of it. No ones going to hurt you." 

Eventually, you heard the police sirens and them shouting. After a few moments they knocked on the bathroom door. You immediately unlocked it, running out. "Did you find him?" You asked, your eyes showing the hope in this being simple, like maybe he was waiting outside or something stupid. But of course, reality didn't work that way. 

"The only people we found were the workers here, I'm sorry." One of the officers said, "Do you have any injuries?"

You and Charlie shook your head.

"Alright, we're going to need to take you in for questioning."

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[thealtoduck]

Being a waterbender living in the Earth Kingdom and meeting Team Avatar…

Sokka x Male Waterbender!Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: While stocking up on supplies in a small village, team avatar finds a waterbender in an unlikely place…

——

Sokka’s pov:

Appa landed deep in the forest and Aang, Katara and Sokka started setting up camp for the night. Katara prepared their dinner as Aang and Sokka set up the tent and fed Appa and Momo.

”We’ll need to go to that village and stock up on more food we’re almost out, there’s barely enough for the three of us” Katara told the other two. ”There was a farm on the outskirts of town, I could go see if they have anything we could take” Sokka suggested.

”Sokka, you can’t just steal food, it’s for the towns people” Aang told him. ”Oh please, you saw how big the fields were, what’s a couple of vegetables? There will be plenty left, plus we need this food to get to the Northern Water Tribe so you can learn waterbending to save the world, I’m sure they’d want us to have their food” Sokka said standing up.

”I’ll be back soon” he said grabbing a small basket, walking in the direction of the farm. Once he reached it he stumbled over the fence on to the fields. Using a dagger to cut free a couple of vegetables and put them in the basket.

All of a sudden out of nowhere a blast of water knocked Sokka to the the ground making him drop the food basket. ”Katara?!” Sokka yelled but when he looked up he didn’t see Katara.

He was met with a pretty boy his own age with y/h/c hair and y/c/s skin, in a set of light jade green robes, that had water lilies embroided on them. He looked mad.

”What are you doing?” he asked in a dangerous tone. ”I-I-” Sokka tried but his voice got caught in his throat, he didn’t know what was more shocking that he found a waterbender in the northern parts of the Earth Kingdom or that he found him really attractive.

The boys face turned from stern annoyance, to a studying look as he looked Sokka up and down. ”Are-Are you from the Water Tribe?” the boy asked curiously. ”Yes” Sokka answered. ”Wow… I’ve never met anyone apart from mom from the Water Tribe…” the boy uttered.

”Are you from the North or South?” he asked. ”Southern Water Tribe” he answered more relaxed now that the look on you face wasn’t dripping with venom. Sokka then found some more courage to say ”Look, I’m sorry for stealing your crops, me, my sister and my friend are traveling and we’re almost completely out of food, if you want I can pay you for all this”.

The boy considered for a moment and then said ”Come with me, grab the basket”. Sokka did as told and followed the boy as he led him towards the farmer’s house, the two stopped outside and said ”Wait here”. As he went inside.

A few minutes later the boy came back out and put something in Sokka’s basket. A loaf of bread, some herbs, and a bottle of fruit juice. ”There you go, should make a nice meal” the boy said.

Sokka got confused but the boy spoke up again saying ”You know, me and my family like to house travelers when they pass through and it’s gonna get cold tonight, so if you need a place to sleep tonight just knock, okay?”.

Sokka was stunned, a couple of minutes ago he had just tried to steal from this family and now he was being offered a place to spend the night. ”Thank you” he found himself saying warmly. ”No worries” the boy said turning back towards the house.

”I’m Sokka” Sokka blurted not wanting the interaction to end just yet. The boy turned to him with a smile. ”I’m Y/n, hope to see you later, Sokka” he said and rentered the house.

”Wow” Sokka uttered quietly turning around making his way back to Katara and Aang. As they cooked the food they’d been given he explained eagerly to them about the boy. ”Are you sure he’s a waterbender and that he didn’t just throw a bucket of water at you?” Katare asked skeptical that there’d be a waterbender in this town.

”Yeah, he said his Mother was from the Water Tribe” Sokka insisted. Aang wrapped himself in a blanket. ”Maybe we should take him up on the offer, it’s starting to get chilly out here” Aang recommeded. Sokka agreed eagerly and Katara seemed curious about the idea of meeting another water bender.

Your pov:

There was a knock on the door and you went to open, being met with Sokka followed by another boy, a girl and a lemur. ”Glad you could make it, come in my mom just made some tea” you said and were introduced to Aang and Katara. And of course the lemur Momo.

You helped them get Appa in to the barn and they joined you inside. You sat down around the table as your mother served tea to you and your guests. ”Y/n? Sokka told us your a water bender, is that true?” Katara asked.

”Yeah, I am” you said showing her by lifting the tea out of your cup, before putting it back in. ”I’m not that good though, I don’t get much practice since the fire nation is always snooping around” you explained.

”Good enough to knock Sokka of his feet” Aang commented. ”It was a suprise attack!” Sokka defended himself making you, Aang and Katara laugh.

You conversed with the three for well over an hour, they had so many stories, Aang being the Avatar, how he met Sokka and Katara, them running from the Fire Nation multiple times. They’d had quite the long journey.

Your Father and Aang ended up in the barn as Aang wanted to see the farm animals, your Mother and Katara sat and discussed the Water Tribe. Leaving only you and Sokka…

”Would you like to see where you’ll be staying?” you asked him. ”Yeah, sure” he said. You led him to the guest room and told him ”This is the guest room, hope you’ll find it comfortable, if you need anything my room is right across”.

”If you don’t mind, I think I’m gonna get ready for bed” you said yawning and turned to your room but Sokka grabbed your hand and you turned back around. ”Thank you, for doing so much for us, it means a lot” Sokka said with a grateful smile.

”Anything for our fellow Water Tribe folk and the Avatar, Of course” you told him. You then said ”Goodnight” and opened the door to your room. ”Goodnight” Sokka said as you then disappeared in to your room.

He wanted to find a way to repay your kindness.

Next morning when you woke up you helped your mother in the kitchen with the breakfast. When you brought out the servings of food to the others you saw your father was eagerly conversing with Sokka.

Your father then spoke up and asked ”Y/n? Could you please show Aang and Katara around the village?”. ”Don’t you need me around the farm?” you questioned. Your father shook his head and said ”No, Sokka offered to do your work for today so you’d be able to take the day off and relax”.

”Oh! Well then I’d be honored to show you the village” you said with a smile and a small bow.

Once breakfast was finished you waited for Aang and Katara so you could leave for the village. You saw Sokka prepare for the days work at the farm.

”Thank you for taking over my work” you told him gratefully. ”It’s the least i could do after everything you and your family has done for us” Sokka said. You smiled as you looked in to Sokka’s eyes, it was like it only now dawned on you how handsome he was.

”You’re so pretty” Sokka uttered, catching you off guard making you think you’d heard him wrong. ”What?” you questioned. ”I-I mean… your robes are so pretty, you know, such a nice color and what are those? Water lilies? So nicely detailed” Sokka blabbed gesturing to the embroidered flowers on the bottom of your robes.

”Uhm… Thanks” you said still a bit stunned at the interaction.

Soon Katara and Aang arrived and you made your way to the village. You showed them around the different market stands, as they filled their baskets with food and supplies for their travels.

You even bought some treats that you snacked on in the middle of the town square, watching people at work and as they greeted they interacted with each other.

But soon the peace was broken as Fire Nation soldiers entered the village, Aang and Katara were quick to grab you and pull you in to an alley between two houses.

The leader of the Fire Nation soldiers moved to the front ”Where is the Avatar?! We’ve gotten word that last time he was spotted he was heading in the direction of this village”. The crowd stood silent.

”Well then if you don’t want to talk, then maybe we’ll have to show you what happens when you hold the truth from the Fire Nation” the leader said and his soldiers surrounded one of the market stands.

You could see Aang and Katara readying themselves for battle but you held up your hand to them and said ”Don’t”. Before you could explain the Fire Nation soldiers set the market stand a blaze.

Katara and Aang started running out of the alley but you grabbed them and pulled them both back. ”Don’t! We need to get you two back to the farm”.

”But they’ll destroy your village” Aang pleaded. ”No, they’re only trying to scare information out of us, they don’t know you were actually here” you told them and they gave you a questioning look.

”They’ll only want to destroy us if they knew you guys were here and we’ve been hiding it from them, but if they think you were never here then they’ll leave us alone” you explained.

You turned back to look at the leader of the soldiers as he told the crowd ”Tonight, after the assigned curfew we’ll search your houses and if we find a single sign the Avatar was here your village will suffer the wrath of the Fire Nation”. He then turned his back and he and his soldiers left the village.

You turned to Katara and Aang and said ”Go back to the farm, get Sokka and hide in the barn, we’ll have to figure out a way to smuggle you out without the Fire Nation seeing you” you said.

You then walked out to the village square and water bended some of the water out of a fountain to help put out the market stand.

When you got back to the farm you went in to the barn where the Avatar and his friends were waiting as instructed. ”Were everybody in village, alright?” Aang asked. ”Yes, they’re fine just a bit shaken” you told him.

”But we need to figure out how to get you guys out of here before the Fire Nation comes back” you stated. There was a moment of silence before Sokka said ”I have a plan”.

His plan was that when it turned dark he and the others would sneak deep in to forest with Appa, before taking off so that you and your family would not be found out with hiding them from the Fire Nation.

”Can I do anything to help?” you asked them. Sokka looked at you with a grateful smile and said ”You’ve already done more than enough for us, you should make sure to stay inside so you’re not seen, to keep you safe” he explained.

”Alright. It’s been really nice meeting you all. Good luck on your journey. I hope I’ll see you again sometime” you said giving them a polite bow, you then left them and made your way back to the house.

As the sun started to set you grew more and more worried the trio, what if they were caught by the Fire Nation, what would happen to them…

Once it was finally dark outside your heart was pounding all through dinner with your parents. You couldn’t take it anymore and as soon as you finished your dinner you went back to your room.

Only to almost scream when you opened the door, finding Sokka climbing through your window. ”Sokka?! What are you doing here?” you panicked. ”Don’t worry, we’re just about to leave, I just quickly wanted to stop by and talk to you” he said.

”About what?” you asked. ”I just needed to thank you again for what you’ve done for us and I wish I had more time to get to know you better cause you seem great” Sokka confessed taking your hand in his. You smiled.

”I wish we had more time too” you said making Sokka smile brightly too. ”Well then, why don’t you come with us, you can learn Waterbending with Aang and Katara up in the Northern Water Tribe too?” Sokka suggested impulsively.

”Sokka, I can’t, I’m needed here with my family and my village, at least for now” you told him, he looked down disappointment.

You then decided on impulse ”But I tell you what, when you guys are done up in the Northern Water Tribe and start traveling the Earth Kingdom, I’d love to join you guys, if you’ll have me”. Sokka frown then turned in to a small smile and he said ”It’s a deal”.

”You should get going now, the Fire Nation will be here soon” you told him. ”Right” Sokka remembered and turned back to climb out of your window. ”Oh and Sokka, one last thing” you said making him turn around. ”Yeah?” he asked and was answered as you placed a kiss on his cheek.

”Stay safe” you added. ”You too” he said planting a kiss on your cheek. He then climbed out of the window and ran off towards Aang and Katara who were trying to stealthily lead Appa in to the woods, hard as it might be. ”How’d it go?” Aang asked. To which Sokka could only reply ”He’s amazing”.

[stubz]

"You said you'd be better after the Tri-Eclipse festival, when we all come back from vacation."

"Yeah that's right."

"Will you promise me that you'll run with me when we get back?"

"...I'll do my best. Yeah. I'll do my best buddy."

.

"Max when we get back after the holidays will you run with me?"

"Yeah. I'll start training, practice running."

"Oh yeah, cause it's been a long time since you ran."

"Yeah...almost 2 months...wow."

..

"Got any plans for the 2 weeks we get off?"

"Yeah I'm gonna train."

"Train for what?"

"Running. I told the kids I'd run with them when we get back."

"Aww that's cute. But yeah you need to test things out right? Start off slow so as to not overdue it when you play with them again."

"Yeah...wanna hear something funny?"

"Sure."

"I, I miss running. I know I said I hate running and that I only ran with the kids because it's good exercise but...I miss it." he puts down his fork. Staring at his plate of food from the ship's cafeteria. He continues.

"I had a dream last night. I was on Earth, in a field of tall grass and flowers, it was summer. The sun was shining, a beautiful warmth on my skin, with a cool gentle breeze on my skin. I was barefoot. I could run and I ran for miles. I ran even after my lungs were on fire, even when the sun went down...I miss running."

"Mmm"

...

Going on field trip. Yanosh came early so we took the noon shuttle. Come as soon as you can. Shuttle A-11.

'I didn't know we had a field trip today.' he thought after reading the text Kim sent.

He grabbed his hoodie and the other emergency bag and made his way to the shuttles. Luckily the A-11 was an express and he would be wherever it was going in 20 minutes.

12 minutes into the ride he noticed that they were approaching Earth.

....

Turn left in 200 meters...You have reached your destination.

"...ha haha hahahahaha! Are you guys serious?!"

"Surprise Max!!"

In front of the young man was his class of youngling alien children (with a handful of humans ones), co-worker and friend. Standing in a field of tall grass and flowers. Yanosh and Kim held a banner saying congratulations.

"I know you've been training in the gym but I thought you'd want your first real run to be somewhere...special."

He scooped his friend into a hug. Then pulled in the children until they were all sent crashing down into a pile full of laughter and giggles.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah definitely!"

"READY KIDS?!"

"YEAH!"

"LET'S GOOO!"

And for the first time in 2 months human Max ran. Past the slowest ones first. He tried to pat every one of them on the head as he flew bye. Broke through the pack of the average runners. A laugh trailed behind him. One by one surpassed the faster one's. His unused lungs somehow allowing him to whoop in-between pants.

He raced every child. Played every game he could not play before. Carried those who longed to be carried again. He ran despite the burning in his lungs and the sweat in his eyes. He ran through the pain in his feet and the exhaustion in his body until he collapsed.

Laying there in the dirt surrounded by the children and his friend he smiled. And he wore that smile in his sleep on the way back to the centre.

[alexanderwales]

Castle Solutions was the only time travel company in the world. They had a giant corporate headquarters in downtown Chicago, which was the only place in the entire world with a time machine, at least as far as anyone knew. They were worth hundreds of billions, and the only reason they weren't worth more seemed to be that they didn't care all that much about money. The time machines were used for everything: reporting, media, market corrections, the surveillance state, and industry. Castle Solutions was the lynchpin of the modern world.

Daniel had thought the waiting room would be nicer.

He sat in a blue-gray chair that would have been at home in any waiting room anywhere else in Chicago. Slightly tinny music played over speakers from the ceiling. A fake potted plant sat in one corner, failing to look lively. There were no windows, because the waiting room was deep in the heart of the building, close to the machine itself.

Daniel was the only one in the waiting room. He'd come half an hour early, lugging all his gear, and now the only thing left was for the clock to run down. A bored-looking woman had come in to tell him that it might be awhile, that they were running behind schedule — the time travel company, running behind schedule. So there had been more waiting than expected.

A man in a charcoal gray suit with a simple blue backpack came in. He slung the backpack down onto the ground with a sigh and rubbed his face. He had stubble there, but an artful amount of it, like he'd spent some time in the mirror making sure that it was the right amount of scruff to offset his expensive suit.

Daniel looked straight ahead, trying not to look, keeping his face blank, like he was passing by a homeless person who might ask him for money he didn't have.

"Wow, you've got a lot of stuff," said the man. "Is that a sword?"

"It's a katana," said Daniel. He didn't match the eye contact the man was giving him.

"Oh, cool," said the man. "You're going to ... katana times?"

"Edo Japan, yeah," said Daniel.

Daniel was trying his best not to engage, to get this conversation over as quickly as possible. He wasn't making eye contact.

The man picked up his backpack and moved across the waiting room to be closer to Daniel.

"You speak Japanese?" the man asked.

"Hai, watashi wa nihongo o hanashimasu," replied Daniel. He wished that he were more fluent, that the words had come out less rote.

"Cool," said the man. He had apparently also come closer to get a look at all of Daniel's stuff. His eyes moved over the duffel bags. There wasn't much to see, everything had been carefully packed away. "Wow, you sure are prepared, huh?"

"It's a different time and place," said Daniel with a shrug. It represented five years of planning, five years of training, learning, honing himself.

"Personally, I'm going to 1946," said the man, though Daniel hadn't asked. He held out his hand. "Archie Vedder."

Daniel reluctantly took the hand. "Daniel Strom." He had never really gotten the hang of shaking hands. He worried that his hands were too clammy, a worry that proved founded when Archie wiped his hand on that expensive charcoal suit.

"I went with the kit," said Archie, pointing to his backpack. "I've got papers, I've got a computer with a backup, I've got a projector, a media library, a science library, the whole works, plus some forged bonds and a stack of cash. I got a sweet deal on it, they're overstocked now."

Retreating into the past had seen its heyday. Now most of the people who had been most enthusiastic were gone, and there were only the dissenters left. Everyone agreed with using the machine for the mundane stuff, but simply leaving, never to return, rubbed people the wrong way.

"I guess they don't sell kits for Edo," Archie ventured.

"They do," said Daniel. "They're trash."

"Ah," said Archie.

"This is all custom," said Daniel. "Higher quality, field tested, everything I'll need to set myself up there." Only some of it was stock. He had two computers, three smartphones, chargers and plugs, solar panels, replacement batteries, and redundant media libraries and science libraries.

Archie raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean, field tested? Because people don't come back. You're there for good, right?"

What it actually meant was that Daniel had gone out into a field and tested it, made sure that it worked under various conditions, set himself up like he might be explaining all this to a carefully chosen daimyo. There was only so much that camping in the woods and taking dry run vacations could tell him though.

"Some of it is theory," said Daniel. "Research."

"Yeah, see, that's why I went with 1946," said Archie. "It's really well-trod. You know, I was reading an article the other day that maybe the Baby Boom was a little overstated? Like, we're obviously living in the wake of time travelers, but that's the prime time to come back, anywhere from 1946 to 1960. The economy is doing well, tech is advancing, it's familiar enough. The culture is so close you can sell some stuff from a media library, it's brilliant. You're five steps away from becoming a multimillionaire in a time when that meant something."

"Sure," said Daniel.

"Any reason you're doing hard mode?" asked Archie. "I mean, samurai and ninjas are cool, sure, but —"

"It's not about that," said Daniel.

"Alright, sure," shrugged Archie.

Daniel looked over at the waiting room's lone clock. You would think that a waiting room for a time travel company would have better clocks, but it was a cheap utilitarian design, thin plastic and wobbly hands.

"What's it about then?" asked Archie.

"I was going to go with a friend," said Daniel. "We had practiced together, trained together. Then he got cancer."

"Ah, shit," said Archie.

"He lived," said Daniel. "He's fine. But he's on medications now, and will be for the rest of his life, and he can't go anymore."

"Huh," said Archie. "So there's a friend who you're leaving behind?"

"No," said Daniel. "I mean ... this was what we did together. We talked about it a lot. We read history books and practiced crafts and skills. At the start, I didn't really take it that seriously, it was just a hobby, but I got invested, and I guess I kept seeing it as — I don't know."

"I mean for me, it's a way out," said Archie. "Most people feel that way, yeah? My wife filed for divorce, I got fired from my job, so hey, time to start over in 1946, pretend I'm part of the Greatest Generation, ride the waves I know are coming. Exploit it."

Daniel grimaced. The Vietnam War, segregation, the Red Scare? People had a rosy view of that time. He'd never felt particularly aligned with people like Archie who were just looking to make a quick buck.

"Oh come on," said Archie. "You think you're better than me? You're a, you know, what's the word. Colonizer."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "No."

"What, just 'no', it's not, you know, what we did to the Native Americans?" asked Archie. "The whole 'conquer the past' thing?"

"I'm a single person," said Daniel. "I'm bringing back things that will change their culture forever, but I'm not an agent of my country, and even if I were, I think those people who want to be a god king are morons. And sorry, I'm not spending my last minutes in the present on badly rehashing a debate I've had a thousand times already."

"Why not?" asked Archie. "See, I think having arguments right before you go is great. You can leave on a high note. I've spent the last few days saying whatever the hell I wanted to people. It's great. I went to my dad and said 'hey, you were a terrible father, I never liked you, and it's sad that you thought I needed your approval'. And then you know what's hilarious? I get to just walk away and never be seen again. How's that for a power move? How's that for a mic drop?"

"Seems immature," said Daniel.

"Well, see, I'm actually fine being immature," said Archie with a little laugh. "And when this conversation is done, one or both of us is going into the past, never to be seen nor heard from again, and isn't that great? You don't like me, I don't like you, and then we're strangers again."

Daniel had been looking straight ahead, but he turned to Archie after that. "You don't like me?" he asked. "You don't know me."

"I know your type," said Archie. He leaned back. "You spent what, three years cooking up a plan, making this trip back in time your entire personality, and now you think you're better than me, better than everyone, like you've got it all figured out. You talked yourself into throwing away everything you've got going on here. You got dreams of a future in the past. It's quitter talk, is what it is."

"Fuck off," said Daniel. In his normal life he'd have never said it, but he was on the precipice.

"You think going into the past is going to transform you?" asked Archie. "That another world, a second chance, you'll somehow become the man you think you were supposed to be? Well let me tell you, if you were a loser here, you'll be a loser there."

Daniel stood up and drew his sword. He'd practiced the draw a thousand times. The sword gleamed, even under the ugly fluorescent lighting of the waiting room. "Fuck off, or you'll be going back to the 50s missing a hand."

"Bah," said Archie. "Fine." He stood up and took a seat further away, the same one he'd taken when he first came in. He was bouncing his leg and reading something on his phone.

Daniel was putting his sword back in its sheath when the receptionist came into the room.

"Daniel?" she asked, glancing only briefly at the sword. "They're ready for you."

"Finally," Daniel thought but didn't say, because even though he wasn't going to be around anymore, he believed in basic politeness.

He gathered his things and left the waiting room, ready to leave.

~~~~

Archie sat outside Castle Solutions, in their little courtyard, vaping.

It wasn't long before the receptionist, Lydia, came to sit next to him.

"It didn't really seem like you wanted to convince that one," she said.

"Yeah," he said. "Sorry."

She shrugged and pulled out a vape pen of her own. "Sometimes you just want to yell at someone. I get that. But you're risking us getting caught. And if we get caught in the future, we probably get caught in the present."

"Yup," he said. "Won't happen again."

"Give it a few days before you come back," she said. "Three, let's say. He didn't file a complaint, so there's nothing in the system."

"Mmm," said Archie. He made a long, slow drag of the pen. They sat there vaping together for a while. It had often occurred to him that vaping was impossibly lame, but it felt less lame when done with someone else. He watched as the vapor left her mouth in a thin, concentrated stream. "You wanna go out sometime?"

"On a date?" she asked. She gave the tip of her vape pen a casual look. "No, not really."

"Alright," said Archie.

"I don't really know what your deal is," she said. "Why this is important to you. Why you want to talk people back from the brink, or yell at them."

"Mmm," said Archie. "You want to tragic backstory?"

"Meh," Lydia replied. "I'm not going on a date with someone who has a tragic backstory. That's all. Sorry. I've got my own tragic backstory, thanks very much."

"Fair," said Archie. "It was my kid brother, that's the short version. He up and left one day, left us a note that read like ... well, you know." He drew a finger across his neck.

"Where'd he go?" asked Lydia.

"England, 16th century," said Archie. "He thought he was going to take Shakespeare's place." He shook his head. "Only eighteen, you know? Unconscionable that they let kids that young through. He had his whole life ahead of him and he just ... disappeared."

Lydia sighed. "Yeah."

She turned off her vape pen, then mimed stubbing it out on the bench like a cigarette before slipping it into her purse. He felt a surge of attraction for her.

"Alright, I'll go on the date," said Lydia. "But if we're going to be dating, you've gotta stop this."

"Vaping?" asked Archie.

"You know what I mean," said Lydia. "You going in there trying to convince them to back out, that's one thing. It's noble, almost. But if it's going to be fighting, if it's you trying to work through some shit, then I'm not sticking my neck out for you. Doubly so if you want to get together. You process your trauma some other way, or repress it like the rest of us, alright?"

Archie thought about that for a moment. "Alright. Sure."

"I've got to get back to work," said Lydia as she rose from the bench. "You have my number."

Archie nodded, and after she had left, he stayed, looking out at the courtyard.

He wondered how Daniel was doing out there, in that other timeline, but he supposed that he would never know.

[bunny-extract]

Tell us more about cocky könig we really need a refresh in the fandom

He named himself King, your honor. Of course i'm obsessed with him.

— The Growth Spurt (tm) came on early, and ostracized him from his peers. His social pools leaned much older than him, which meant the resulting traumatic themes associated came to him pretty young. Fully adopt the party boy König hc, and firmly believe he entered the forces with his screws already stripped.

— Was bullied into joining a rugby team when he was in school. Hated it, hated it, hated it, and then one day he smacked into a kid that was several grades ahead, knocked him on his ass and was like wow. Haha. Oh.

— As soon as König learned his anxieties could be overshadowed by aptitude, that became a pretty big crutch. If you're not the best then you're being laughed at. solution: Be the fucking best?

— In his eyes, his military career was a failure. The blow to his ego when he was rejected as a sniper really left him sore, and being reduced to a battering ram seemed like a waste of his his assets. When KorTac contacted him he left the services as soon as he could. The switch was not for any noble reasons (Not that he joined with any in mind, either)

— Insufferable ego driven by crippling anxiety means he comes off as really hot and cold. Sometimes when he’s avoiding eye contact it’s shy, disarming, and then other times it’s curt, uninterested

— That makes his attention kind of covetous, because when he is interested in someone, if he respects them, he has this boyish 'look at me, look at what I can do for you' that makes him seem soft and charming, but it can quickly turn into ‘did you see what I did? Did you like it? I can do more.’

— He is as attentive and loyal as a dog, but mean and jealous as one too.

NSFW

— The natural second step to this is an unbearable praise kink. Adoration, worship, acts of service, he falls for any of the above... This is literally the only normal turn on he has, I'm afraid.

— Plenty to go unsaid about his sexuality. Took the kink test curiously once, but half of what really gets him going wasn't listed in the prompts.

If he weren't so fucked up this would be fine, but he is, and so it isn't.

— Scared of sex because of this. He isn't sure what he's capable of, and when you've taken someone's life before and know that's nowhere near your cap it complicates things for you! Just smack a big old 'CONFIDENTIAL' over what actually comes up.

— (Out in the field, the air taste like adrenaline and testosterone and whatever other chemicals that creep up when your head is a bullseye. They all coalesce into a raging, disgusting hard on that he doesn't even try to hide anymore. Tucks himself into his waistband and uses that pent up energy to beat into people like he's fucking them. Nobody talks about it, not because they don't all notice it, but because könig has always deserved the title 'freak'. They can just be grateful they're on the same side of him.)

[generalidiocy]

Escape From The Vault thoughts

I know I'm a couple days late, but I'm gonna try and recreate my thought processes watching the dnd stream cause I need to yell into the void (please yell back I love conversations)

basslines basslines basslines! I knew Luke played bass but didn't know he was that good, wow

yay jockey boy! oh no... oh no jockey boy!

wap tentacle... great

"i used to have doors in my house... back when I lived" - there's so many instances of Fullset being bizarre, but this one tickles me

"how do you know my name" "it says SNAKEHIPS in giant letters across the door" - classic joke, perfect, no notes

Juliet Caesar cameo! I think...

she does magic for a fee, old lady margery

sam just playing all his classics this time around - @.meneatyoghurt made the same point but she's right

the unrelenting aubergine is the best name for a warhammer

royal andre - let's not call him prince andre though, that name just sounds wrong to me now /lh

"i bought these in a shop :-] :-] :-]"

"you've always wanted to be capteeeuuuurrreeedd"

tom knows what a skylight is, sam does not

why are these title cards so eerie

round of applause to Teo and Sam for the music and visuals, fucking brilliant

"things are heating up" "press A"

Love/Brother Face Eldritch Blast

"Tell me how you feel about the Jews!!!"

Andre and Andrew are the sweetest, if we see Andre again I hope he has his Andrew with him, too

"I used to be a trapeze artist"

that description of a dead hare made me so sad...

also leftenmost mc and david being dead in this hurt me a lot more than it should have

fullset beating the other two to the second body lol

"entering the astral plane" - in case you didn't get the reference

"are you having a non-canon adventure?"

sam knew what he was doing ending the first half with "Where's Jeremiah"

also why didn't bubba die from the fall? i don't want him to be dead, but he seemed absolutely fine considering he just fell 60 feet

andre beetroot being friends with bubba was a nice combo

"ok that's a different thing" i really hoped they wouldn't make "pressing A" an innuendo... but ofc they did /aff

yes, homosexuality is the link between these characters (twas funny, but came out of left field for me lol)

again, what's with the creepy title cards?

andre and bubba again!

"are you saying that you weigh less than 10 pounds?"

andre can't fight but we love him

snakehips being badass as usual

"RUN" followed up with a highly non-threatening "flee :-)" took me out

"the gm should've given these characters higher armour classes"

"tell me how you feel about the Jews!" the sequel

Troll Son!

"a dock, as in, boat boat" - perfect definition, well done margery

"that's *strictly* non- canon"

goddammit I got really excited to see Persephone then we ran out of time

sweethearts sweethearts sweethearts!

this was such a great tribute to the iconic characters we know and love, and we all had fun watching it I'm sure. Sam was an amazing DM, and AJ, Tom, Luke and Teo all did phenomenally as usual

anyway, ramblings over, just needed to scream about this for a bit

[joeytime]

Maxiel Hogwarts Au...

If you asked Max what he thought of Hogwarts, he would likely make a joke about pigs and insult their quidditch teams.

He isn't sure it's smart to do that now, in the middle of the Hogwarts' grand hall, completely surrounded by Hogwarts' students and staff. He isn't sure he could escape even if he had his broom.

"Wow, you really hate Hogwarts." The dreaded hat says atop his hair.

Shut up! Max thinks furiously at it. Get out of my head!

Everyone stares intensely at Max, not daring to breathe while the fate of the member of the national quidditch team is being decided. Even the teachers are at the edge of their seats, other than Dumbledore, he seems to know where Max will inevitably end up.

"Little quidditch champion. Everyone is expecting" The hat says, as if it's life of forever moving from head to head to call one of four words is somehow a greater destiny than Max's.

It's not. Max knows he will go on to succeed in life, and win as many quidditch championships as he wants and then retire on an island in The Maldives with a butt load of cash while the hat is left in a dusty room, waiting for it's yearly use. Max wants to reach to rip it up but it would not be wise to do so in front of Dumbledore himself. His hands stay in his lap, frown etched on his face.

"Impatient. Immature." Max's fingers twitch slightly. There is only so much backtalk one can take from a hat.

"Violent and uncaring, wherever will I put you?" Max doesn't agree with that description, he cares plenty, about winning that is.

"Foolish. Foolish boy." It doesn't hurt, Max has heard those words plenty of times.

Max sulks.

It's a beat of silence before the suspense reaches its climax. "Hufflepuff! " The hat hollers, not bothering to consult Max on it's decision. Which is very rude and impolite.

The entire room erupts into chaos, screams of "What! " and "No way! No way!" echo throughout the hall.

Max can't help but agree, he thought he might end up in Gryffindor or Slytherin, maybe Ravenclaw if he was super unlucky. But Hufflepuff? His father was going to disown him. The media are going to have a field day. Well they were going to already, regardless of which house Max was put in.

Dumbledore moves to pull the hat off of Max, the treacherous thing whispers one last time: "Things will make sense in time. Be patient. Do not mope."

Max doesn't mope. Verstappens can't mope, so he doesn't.

Dumbledore gently guides a slightly speechless Max to the Hufflepuff table, pushing him into the seat before winking and walking off.

Max wants to burn down this school.

Cheers erupt from the Hufflepuff table, hands coming to pat him on the back and fawn over him.

The other tables seem miserable at the prospect of losing out on a quidditch champion.

"Oh my god! Hi! Hi! Oh my god! It's you!" A boy excitedly chatters to his left, other students crowd around him and Max suddenly finds that he can't breathe. It's like he's small again, after being knocked off his broom by an overly excited big kid. He had fallen to the ground, too exhausted and overwhelmed to get back up.

His father had been mad, really mad. He hadn't slept well again after that.

"Guys! Guys! He doesn't look so good. " Whoever that is, is definitely right, Max can hardly breathe, he tries to use the breathing technique his father taught him after his first match, control his breathing. It doesn't work, it only causes the panic and urgency in his veins to surge. It did work, it's purpose was to put him on guard, not calm down.

He curls into himself, hands around his ears to protect from the deafening sound of crowds cheering. His bubble of personal space is of course pried and poked at. Fans never had any self awareness when it came to these matters and his father never did have sympathy for personal space.

Hands are pried away from him, he can hear outraged screeching at the action. His own quidditch team's screams when he was 6 years old and pulled away to join the older kids. They thought it wasn't fair that a small boy climbed the ranks faster than they did.

"Hey! Hey! Everyone back up right now!" The entire opposing team bombarding him in an attempt to stop him. The referee's reprimand that fell on deaf ears.

The people at his sides are replaced and gentle hands hold him back up, out of the ball he curled himself into.

Max doesn't dare look up, too afraid at the thought of seeing his father's judgemental look.

"Hey, are you okay? " Max turns his head, soft, gentle, warm eyes, concerned. Jos was never concerned, he was the uncaring one! Not Max!

"I'm fine. " A repeated response, practiced again and again every time he came home to his mother.

The teen with the soft eyes gestures for another boy to sit on Max's other side. The boy opposite Max looks on in concern.

"Hello. I'm Daniel Riccardo, I'm a prefect of Hufflepuff, it's nice to meet you." The gentle boy says, eyes still filled with concern.

"Max Verstappen. " Max manages to choke out.

"The boy on your left is Yuki Tsunoda and that's Lando Norris." Daniel gestures to the boy sitting opposite Max, who waves shyly.

The ruckus Max's sorting caused calms down and everyone settles down to listen to Dumbledore's welcome back speech which luckily does not mention Max.

Max feels strange between Riccardo and Tsunoda, like dread wrapped in false cotton. Norris also peers at him from time to time, creep.

They're sent back to their dorms. Max tells Riccardo that he can get there on his own but the older boy frowns and insists that he takes Max. Max thinks his father would be disappointed at his complacency but he doesn't have the strength to fight it.

Riccardo leads him to the kitchen, Max wants to snap some insult about him being a goody two shoes and how this is none of his business. He holds his tongue.

Riccardo gestures to a specific barrel, looking more worn out than the ones around it. He taps a certain beat, perhaps it's a secret code. That's childish, Max decides, they are not children playing in a fort.

The barrel swings open.

Max grimaces at the small tunnel.

"Here, you try tapping it." Riccardo puts Max's hand to the barrel.

Max repeats the rhythm perfectly. Memory exercises were part of his training.

Once Riccardo is satisfied, he points at the tunnel, almost as if he wants Max to crawl through it.

Max scrunches his nose, seriously? The older boy points more urgently and Max relents, shoving himself through the tunnel.

Well, not shoving, he's not really big, a fact his father loathed, putting him on diets with large sums of proteins and even attempting to use transfiguration spells before it was put to a stop by his mother.

Max wished his mother had not stopped his father. Maybe he would have an excuse not to join this god forsaken house.

It's an agonizing 5 second crawl before he pops out the other end right in front of Lando Norris, the boy before.

Daniel appears behind him, putting a hand on Max's shoulder.

"So Max, this is the Hufflepuff house. You know Yuki and Lando. That's Oscar, Nico and Valtteri." Riccardo urges the boys to come forward.

"It's Verstappen. " Max declares, Riccardo quirks an eyebrow and the rest of the boys look equally confused.

"Hi! I'm Lando! I'm like a huge fan, do you mind signing this for me? " The boy's yellow robes are somehow orange.

Max's PR training kicks in and he smiles one of those sickly sweet smiles that his father loves to wipe off his face before ordering him to smile again. His posture straightens and he reaches a hand around the younger boy's shoulders, patting him on his back once, twice. Just like he rehearsed.

"Sure! " His tone is so obviously a faux sweet as he reaches to retrieve the black marker from his back pocket. The boy has stars in his eyes and Max feels guilty, he always does. He's a fraud.

He signs the hat from his national team, the one he left behind.

He wishes he didn't.

"Hey, are you okay Max? " Riccardo asks, looking weird again.

"I'm doing great, how are you? " His PR trainer said asking back these questions were endearing, cute. Max's father had mocked him for that act, his trainer had been fired after that.

"How about I bring you to your room? Would you like that?" Riccardo asks, Max smiles again, nodding.

"Sure." Norris waves enthusiastically as Riccardo leads him out of the common room and into his private room.

"Are you alright? Max?"

"Call me Verstappen."

"Verstappen. Are you alright?"

"You can go, Riccardo. "

"... Call if you need anything."

When the prefect leaves, Max wants nothing but to burst into tears. He flops onto the bed.

The next day he drags himself out of bed. Even if classes don't start till 9 and the sun hasn't risen yet.

Jos expected him to continue his strict training regime. He was almost tempted to skip it and lie to his father but he thought he better not after his humiliating sorting from yesterday.

Now, alone, Max can see the Hufflepuff room properly. It's... It's all gentle lighting, none of the bright fluorescent lights his room had. The chairs looked comfy and the many plants lazing around the common room tempts him to join them.

Perhaps that would be a better fate, turning into a plant to live the rest of his life in the common room. His hand lingers on his wand, mind on a spell his professor taught him when he was just 9. He didn't.

When he had crawled out of the Hufflepuff room, fully dressed, broom in hand, the sun was just peaking from the horizon.

The halls are empty, some portraits mutter as he walks by. His father's portraits never moved, other than those instructed to. For example, a painter that never stopped moving his brush or a surfer never to take a break from the sea.

Making his way to the Hogwarts field, he stretched, slow and patient. His bones crack from the exhausting day he had before.

The field is decent sized, not as big as the one he played in during national championships, bigger than the one his father made him run laps around till he fainted.

He glides through the air easily, flying comes easily to him. If he were to be given his own time and freedom he thinks he would likely still be a top player in the school leagues.

It's better that he was hurled up though. Better to have reached the top by sheer force of his father's training.

He thinks about his national team, he's a reserve, too young to play officially but the team has him in some practices and he attends smaller competitions for them. Max suspects it's more about having a claim on Max when he comes of age.

He's 15, he still has 3 years to choose which team he wants to go to. By then, he will make his own choice. He will not do whatever pleases his father anymore.

The golden snitch twinkles near the end of the field. Max pretends not to see it.

It is fun, sometimes, tricking the golden snitch, allowing it a false sense of security. Like a tiger cub playing with a cricket.

His father would get mad at him if he did it for too long, he was upset his son couldn't catch it at once. Which Max could, he just didn't see the fun of it.

The fluttering golden ball is in his hands before it can even think of escaping.

Max briefly wonders if the snitch can possibly think, he lets it flutter away, repeating his game once again.

In the golden light of the sun and shaded path of the clouds, the wind whizzes past his ears, he falls into the familiar rhythm of flying, sometimes he makes his own obstacle courses, weaving through imaginary hoops.

By the time the sun reveals itself fully to watch Max fly, he realizes that a crowd has gathered around under him, star-struck Hogwarts students watching, mouths open and everything.

He flushes slightly, he may have had many adoring fans due to his membership in the national team and young age but come on! These were his peers.

Max lowers down, checking his watch to see that it is indeed 8.30am and he has to run if he wants to get to class not drenched in sweat.

He waves slightly to the crowd, zipping to the house dorm even though he's probably breaking several school rules.

He knocks the tune and enters quickly, still high from the adrenaline of flying.

He climbs out of the tunnel only to come face to face with Daniel Riccardo, his face stern and stony.

"Verstappen! You can't just sneak out like that!" Daniel's expression softens when he sees Max.

Max knows he feels pity even if Riccardo knows nothing about his life.

"I of course did not sneak out, I left my room and went to the field." Max doesn't think early hour training counts as sneaking out, going to parties in the dead of the night is sneaking out.

"Max, we were worried. I went into your room and you weren't there. Thought you'd been kidnapped by the other houses to play quidditch for them or something... "

Max considers this briefly, Riccardo knocking on his door gleefully, freezing when he doesn't get an answer. Did his blood pressure spike? Did he throw Max's door open in desperation only to find the room empty?

Max grimaces.

"I went to go training... Sorry..." Max stands awkwardly, hands by his side like a child being punished by a parent.

Riccardo sighs. Max wants to cry.

"Please forgive me, I'm of course sorry, I will do anything!" Max cringes inside, begging with someone other than his father is a foreign concept.

Riccardo has a cheeky smile on his face, Max is almost scared.

"I'll forgive you... Only if you call me Daniel!"

Max groans inwardly, well he's also partly relieved but Daniel doesn't need to know that.

"What will it be Max? Will you call me the d word? Or will you suffer in my never ending spite! "Daniel's grin grows.

" Fine. "

" Fine, who? "

"Fine. Daniel."

Max flushes, weird.

Daniel looks elated.

[lfc21]

Parent's evening at school

Player: Trent Alexander Arnold

TW: school, children, Fluff

Promptlist: Children

"Mr and Mrs Alexander Arnold" You heard being called out from the room you were waiting outside off. You felt as if you were right back at school, sat staring at the walls constantly wondering when the bell would ring.

"Hi nice to meet you" You politely said with a smile as you both sat down in front of the wooden desk. Trent couldn't help but take his old school in, he remembered being stuck in the very same four walls. Nostalgia was the only thing he could feel.

"So I am Mrs Smith, I am Tyrone's teacher" She started with a smile as she admired the notes written on her screen. You hoped your son was as well-behaved as he made you believe but you weren't one hundred per cent sure. "He so far has 100% attendance and is reaching his targets in every subject which is incredible." She added bursting with pride.

"Even maths?" You quickly asked with a laugh as you couldn't quite believe her words.

"Yes, miss even his maths" She quickly replied with a laugh. You couldn't have been prouder. Maths was not your strong point, and every time Tyrone came to you for help you were doing more learning than teaching.

"Oh wow, I only ask as I am shocked at maths and can never help him" You explained as Trent sniggered next to you, you quickly nudged his arm with a laugh due to his childish actions.

"I would be proud of Tyrone and he admires you sir," The teacher said looking at Trent with a smile at how similar they both were.

"He is obsessed" Trent replied "I am surprised he hasn't been playing football in here" He added with a laugh knowing how naughty and playful he can be at home. You all laughed in unison. You quickly thanked the teacher for her time and wandered out of the classroom.

"I used to play football over there," Trent said to you as he pointed over to a large green field as his hand slipped into yours. You loved hearing about Trent's past stories it always sent a smile to your face. "And that was where my mum used to drop me off and pick me up" He quickly added with a large smile as he started to feel the excitement run through his body.

"You are so cute baby" You explained with a giggle as you snaked your arm around his waist with a smile. You both made your way to the car with huge beaming smiles and a son to be extremely proud of.

Hey guys 👋🏻 I hope you enjoyed this imagine 😀 there are still a few prompts left if anyone is interested 😊 I am currently taking requests 🥰 feedback is greatly appreciated ❤️ have a good day 🙏 masterlist 2022 💌 masterlist 2023 💌

@prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @robbothegoat @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @tsimikasfamily @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexycancerian @hendersons1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches @tsimikxs @tsimikostas @trentalexarnofan @leddows @moneymasnn @superkittywonderland @virgilvansike @virgilvandickmedown @hopefulromantic1 @robbo-trent-fanfiction26

[giggly-squiggily]

Hi Squiggily I hope your having a nice day so far, can I please request ler! Shoko and Suguru lee! Satoru. I love these three so much and I wish we got to see more of them in the anime/manga.

But of course anon! :D I've gotcha covered- these three give me utter LIFE! (Honestly same- I wanted more! T-T) I hope you like it!

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @gladdygirl18 @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @rachi-roo @chibisstuff

“Hit me!” Gojo’s declared, grinning.

“Bet!” Geto winded his arm, ready to do so.

“....hm.” Geto lowered his arm, suspicious. “What happens if I do?”

“You won’t be able to.”

The green haired student raised a brow. Then he reached into his pocket, pulling out an eraser. Without any warning- he chucked it at Gojo’s head.

Boink!

“Gah! Okay- bad example.” Gojo rubbed his forehead, cheeks dusted pink as Geto and Shoko laughed. “Try to punch me! I need to be in immediate danger!”

“No way- what if your new technique doesn’t work?” Geto’s brows furrowed as he looked upon his friend. Sure, he wanted to strangle Gojo from time to time, but to really punch him out…”I’m heavy handed- you might die.”

“I’ll be fine! Trust me!” Gojo grinned, eyes dancing behind his glasses. “What- scared you’re gonna look like a wimp?”

Geto’s eye twitched, smile dangerous. “Very well.”

A fist was raised. Gojo raised his chin, closing his eyes.

“Ehehe!”

What came wasn’t the stinging pain of a fist, but rather a sudden jab to his ribs. Twisting around, he found Shoko standing behind him with a cheeky grin. “What- Shoko!”

Another poke- then another. “Come on- block me. You said you need to be in danger, yeah?” She snickered as he squirmed, giggles pushing past his lips with little resistance. “This counts as danger, yeah? Or this? Or this?”

“Ahehheheahha! S-Shohohohoko, you suuhuhuhuck! Gehahahhahaha stahhahahap!” Gojo pressed his arms into his sides, trying to block out her hands. “Suuhuhuhuhuguru, heheheehhelp!”

“Help huh? I suppose I could.” Geto grinned as he walked over, fingers poised and wiggling. “Come here, Satoru.” “Oohoho no! Dohoohohn’t you dare!” Gojo tried to run, darting left and narrowly avoiding their grasp. He was running now, flying down the path with Geto hot on his trail. “No! No stay away-AH!”

A curse formed at his feet, tripping him and sending him tumbling. Geto was on him seconds later, fingers finding his ribs once more and drawing out even more laughs from the pale haired teen. “Suhuhuhuhuguru dohohohohoohn’t!”

“Don’t what?”

“Tihihiihihihickle mehehhehehehe!”

“Tickle you? Okay! Shoko you hear that? Satoru wants us to tickle him!” Geto called over his shoulder to their friend, still tickling. “Come help me!”

“Okay.” Shoko tossed the but of her cigarette to the ground, crushing it beneath her foot before bouncing over.

“Nohohoho! Nohohoho, not you TOHOOHHOOHOHO!” Gojo all but squealed when two extra hands came down upon him, pinching along his knees. “NOHOHOHOHO NOT THE KNEHEHEHHEHEES!”

“Oo, bad spot? And I thought his ribs were bad!” Geto laughed, adjusting himself so Shoko had more room. “Do you think his hips are too?”

“Only one way to find out.” Shoko reached down, squeezing his hip with delicate fingers.

The noise Gojo let out couldn't be described as human.

“AHEAHAHHAHHA! STHAHAHAHAP IIHIHIHIHIHIT!” Gojo cried through his mirth, tears forming behind his sunglasses as he swatted at their ever present hands. No matter where he blocked- something on him was ticklish! “PLEAHHAHAHAHSE ENOOHOHOOHUGH!”

The tickles came to an immediate halt. Gojo gasped for air, lying across the ground as he weakly curled his arms around himself. “Ahehehe…hehehe..thihihis suchks. It dihihihdn’t work…”

“What, your so-called force field?” Geto raised a brow. “Maybe you need to work on it more.”

Shoko was quiet. Then she scooted up to Gojo’s face. Without warning, she brought down her raised arm, pen in hand. Gojo’s eyes widened-

The pen stopped inches from his nose, suspended by an invisible force.

“Wow. It worked.” She mused, pulling her hand away and watching the pen hover over Gojo’s gaping face. “Guess you need to be in true danger for it to work.”

“Wow…HA! I KNEW IT!” Gojo cheered, yelping when the pen dropped, bouncing off his sunglasses. “I knew my limitless technique would work!”

“You're truly getting stronger by the day.” Geto spoke softly as Shoko and Gojo laughed, trying to stab him again with the pen. “Hey- does that mean what I think it means?”

“What?” Gojo and Shoko asked, pen halfway down to his face.

“If you can recognize you’re not in immediate danger, your limitless technique won’t activate. Or that what’s to come isn’t all that unpleasant.” Geto started to grin, enjoying the look of shock and embarrassment spreading over Gojo’s face. “Does that mean you like us tickling you?”

Shoko perked up, equally amused. Gojo flushed as he backed away, looking anywhere but them. 

“Oh what do you know- my little test worked! Hehe- I better go report it to the Masa-Sensei; gotta go- BYE!” Gojo all but scrambled to his feet, running for the hills and his friends laughed themselves silly.

Thanks for reading!

[call-me-little-sunshine84]

Slow Heat

SSA Matt Simmons x female reader

Rating: explicit - minors DNI

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: After wanting Matt for so long, what will you do when you finally get him?

Warnings: smut! - mentioned masturbation - oral sex (m receiving) - unprotected sex - multiple orgasms - canon divergence

A/N: this is set in an AU where he is divorced - there is a horrible lack of Matt smut and I don't think I would do justice to the husband/wife vibe but didn't want to make him a cheater

“Morning Matt,” you said cheerily as he entered the office. “Good morning,” he replied tersely, juggling his bag and a cup of coffee. He hadn’t been the same since telling everyone about the divorce. You couldn’t imagine what he was going through, trying to get used to his new reality, and learning to coparent with that many kids. 

A small, awful part of you was secretly glad he was getting divorced. It made the way you felt about him, and had felt ever since you met, a little more acceptable. Married man = giant no in your book. Divorced man = okay to fantasize about, which you did more often than was probably normal. There was also the small fact that you worked together. Sure, you worked in tech, it’s not like you went out in the field with the team, but they still treated you like one of their own - probably thanks to your friendship with Garcia. Office romances hardly ever worked out. Still…you couldn’t help but watch him every time he walked past, your heart skipping a beat when he smiled at you. 

Wanting to be respectful to what he was going through, you kept all your feelings to yourself. It was so hard when all you wanted to do was spend one night with him, showing him how eager you were to please him. Instead, you just ended up pleasing yourself while thinking about what he must look like underneath his clothes. It went on like that for months, you lusting after him from the sidelines, until one night after a particularly bad case.

The team had returned to the office, looks of defeat and anger plainly written on their faces. You just happened to still be there, finishing up a last-minute assignment. Your heart sank when you looked up at them getting off the elevator. “Oh no, what happened?” you asked, concerned. “The perp got away,” Rossi replied, shaking his head. “Damn, I’m sorry,” you said sincerely. “We’re going to go get a drink, need to shake this off. Do you want to join us?” he asked. “Sure, why not,” you replied, happy for the break. You were stiff and sore from sitting in a chair all day. 

Everyone grabbed their things, and you walked around the block to the nearby tavern. Thanks to Penelope switching seats with you - after a less than subtle wink and shoulder nudge - you ended up sitting next to Matt. At first you were extremely nervous, but you were surprised to find that talking to him came easily. The conversation stayed steady, both of you talking about your families, hobbies, favorite movies, everything. The others slowly began to say their goodbyes, and before long you realized it was just the two of you left. 

“Oh wow, I guess I need to get back home,” you said, looking at the time on your phone. “I’ll go with you, make sure you get there okay,” Matt offered with a smile. “You really don’t have to, it’s not like either of us drank that much,” you replied. And it was true, you switched to coke after a few shots, and he had been sipping the same beer all night. “Really, I insist,” he told you. Pretty sure that your face had turned several unflattering shades of red, you relented, grabbing your purse. The walk back to the office to get his car as well as the ride back to your apartment, were filled with awkward silence. What happened to the way you had been at the bar?

Pulling into the parking lot, he offered to walk you to the door. You took him up on it, not knowing what would come next. Standing at your doorway, you looked at him, wishing the night wasn’t over. “Want to come in for some coffee?” you asked, holding your breath until he replied. “Sure,” he said, and you unlocked your door with trembling hands. Throwing your bag down on the counter, you picked up two coffee mugs and were about to begin making the first one when Matt walked up behind you. 

Standing so close you could feel the heat coming off of his body, smell the cologne he was wearing, you resisted the urge to lean back against him. Instead, you stiffened, unsure of what to do or say. Suddenly you felt his hands on your hips, turning you around to face him. Looking up at him questioningly, his face so close to yours, you gasped as he ran his hand gently across your jawline, sending sparks through your body. “Matt, what are you doing?” you ask breathlessly, your body on edge just from that little bit of contact. Instead of answering, he leaned down and kissed you slowly and sweetly. “I think we could both use this, don’t you?” he asked, moving his body even closer to you. It was true, it had been a long time since anything but your vibrator had brought you to paradise.

“If you had any idea of how many times I had fantasized about this, you wouldn’t even have to ask,” you replied in a surprising burst of boldness. Never in your wildest dreams did you think any of this would actually be happening. He growled at your response and moved in to kiss you again, this time fast and hard. His hands roamed your body slowly in contrast, exploring every inch of you. 

Dragging him into your bedroom, you pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Holy shit you thought, running your hands over his muscled abs, practically drooling at the sight of him. Pushing him back onto the bed, you undid his belt and removed his pants. He was already hard, and just the outline of him straining against his boxers had you practically dripping. You kissed and licked a slow trail down his perfect body, working your way down to what you wanted most. Your eyes widened when you freed his dick from his underwear and the smirk on his face made you want to climb on him right that second, but you somehow controlled yourself, deciding to make this last as long as possible. 

Taking him in your mouth, you flattened your tongue and ran it up and down his shaft while sucking gently, and he groaned deeply in appreciation. One hand around his base and the other gripping his muscular thigh, you worked your magic on him, bringing him right to the edge before he pushed you back, not wanting to finish too soon. 

Eagerly shedding your clothes, you rejoined him on the bed. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing your neck, raising goosebumps all over. Going lower, he cupped your breasts, wrapping his lips around one hardened nipple while gently massaging the other. Moaning, feeling like your body would ignite at any moment, you almost jumped off the bed when he reached a hand down and ran his fingers through your slick folds. 

“Damn, you really did want this, didn’t you?” he grinned, feeling just how excited you were for him. All you could do was groan his name as he dragged his fingers through your walls, hitting that sweet spot that you always had trouble finding yourself. Two fingers worked inside you while his thumb made sweet circles on your clit. You looked up at him, his already dark eyes almost black, clouded with lust. It was enough, just knowing you were the cause of that look of absolute desire on his face, to push you over the edge. You climaxed, thighs trembling against his hand. 

Giving yourself no time to ride out your high, you pushed him back against the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his thighs. “Oh my God,” he grunted, a look of absolute devotion on his face as you lowered yourself down onto him slowly. 

The stretch and slight burn went away quickly as you adjusted to his size, and you found a steady pace. He gripped your hips hard enough to bruise, and you ground down on him eagerly. Who knew sex could feel this good you thought to yourself. After all the months of longing for Matt, this was actually happening. He moved his hands up to grasp your breasts, bringing you back to reality. You rolled your hips even harder and faster, that invisible coil in your belly growing tighter, threatening to snap again. Your nails digging crescent shaped marks into his chest, you felt your second orgasm sweep through you. Squeezing down around him as you continued to ride him, Matt groaned your name as he also found release. Collapsing against him on the bed, your sweat slicked bodies sticking together, you sighed contentedly. Slowly tracing the tattoo on his bicep, he asked if you were okay. “Of course. I told you; I’ve wanted that for a long time now,” you replied. He cocked an eyebrow. “Really?” 

“You know, for a profiler you really missed all the signs, didn’t you?” you said with a laugh.

[missanne]

News romantics²

Karaoke played in the background, almost overshadowing the desperate screams of Geto and Haibara in the kitchen, in the living room Shoko sang an out-of-tune version of My Heart Will Go On and Gojo and Yn improvised a dance/audience; when Nanami appeared with her hand sticky and black, in a failed attempt to make a cupcake. _ Forgive us, we have no idea how to do this… — the song has ended at this moment, and the couple approaches the same thing. _ It's okay, because I'm here, come today, and I'll teach you foreigners how to make brigadiers! _ EEE, let’s eat brigadiers!- _ Hey, weren't you going to sing Shake Off with me? _ you can go sing with her, after all I'm not leaving anytime soon, and by then everyone here will have learned brigadiers… _ then come soon! I'm almost losing my first offender with the Haibara! The kitchen was in chaos, there was chocolate powder on the stove and condensed milk on another, but over time everything got organized, both Geto and Haibara were impressed and they both realized they were wrong, so there was no more “fight” and how Gojo had started to sing love me as you do in a very strident way, they decided to let the brigadiers rest and start the skin and hair care part. Everything was going smoothly, but SN's terrible experience had left scars. And worse than visible scars, are the non-visible ones; which we cannot take care of without the attention of a specialized doctor. Returning to the present situation; During hair care, it was time to remove the mask, from the group only Gojo was a different color. According to SN, if he wore purple his hair would look even whiter, and they were looking for a mask that promised nutrition… _ You're sure, right? _, but of course! _ if my hair turns purple… you'll have to pay for reconstruction… _ What if I'm right? What do I win? A kiss from you? _ hmm I don't know, it will depend on my mood, if I like it a lot it could even be more than one… _ Wow, it's easier for Shoko's lungs to be white than for you to find this mask, are you sure you're not inventing this to be alone? — Geto's scream provoked light laughter and at that moment a redness took over Yn's cheeks, and Gojou could see the mask on the shelf next to Yn, and slowly approaching it, he picked it up and with a low voice:_ if you want to be alone with me another time, just let me know, ok? And she left, but she was afraid that he was too close to the point of hearing her heartbeat, because they were out of control, like wild horses in free fields. Not that she felt anything for him: she said to herself, but because she had never been so close to another person, but soon recovering, she went to meet the others. Hmm, it took a while, right… even though there was no intonation in her voice, Shoko's face expressed enough and didn't leave it to the imagination:_, because it's a girl, satoro came out, and I didn't expect him to leave so much gas like this… — the boy felt his blood emptying, and he didn't even hide his shocked face, unlike his friends who were laughing and almost rolling on the floor, when everyone was recovering, Nanami with her hands between her chin and says as if she was rambling:_ so we found someone who is immune to Satoru… my goodness we asked for bronze and got gold. And this time you can join in the laughter.

[saberswordseabass]

A Hidden Danger pt:1

Being a human in this strange universe was not as easy as it had used to be. Earth has been gone for a while now, most of the species being kidnapped by pirates or giant snake people, and now being treated like a dainty flower that would break to the lightest breeze by Carrion's guardian, a large bipedal bovine woman, called Trish.

"I am telling you it'll be fine! I'll be careful. Besides, it'll be amazing to see a new planet that not even the rest of the community knows about!" The twenty year old human states in an excited tone before grumbling at how uncomfortable the suit Trish was making him wear was.

"I know you'll be careful. We all will, but it's more of I don't want you harmed." Trish sighed as she looked down at her charge that came up to the middle of her brown furred torso, although the protective suit hid most of her features, besides her horns which were curled into a similar shape like a Terran's highlander cow.

"Technically, I should not have allowed you to go on this expedition in the first place. I can get in major trouble, I am supposed to be helping you." Trish states as Carrion looks back up at her and gives a tired sigh. Her ear flicks slightly as the door to the steel box they were in opens, allowing the rest of the expedition crew to arrive.

A large bipedal bear steps through the door, their belly straining against the protective fabric of the Hostile Environment Neutralizer Suit. In the padded hand of their suit, they carried a large briefcase like box. This was Tur. They were the group's expedition biological field agent. "Ah, it is good to see you are both already prepared. All we have left is to wait on Nellion, our geologist, and the surveyor of the expedition."

The geologist was another humanoid figure, only having an inch on Carrion compared to the over two feet the other two had him. Someone here didn't make him feel too small for once. An epicene voice rumbles through the speaker system of the suit.

"Trish, it is wonderful to have you with us again. We missed you." Nellion turns to Carrion, stepping closer to the human, allowing him to see the feline like eyes barely through the darkened glass of the helmet.

"It is good to see you as well, Nellion. This is my -" Before Trish could finish, Nellion interrupted, causing the guardian huff in annoyance.

"You must be Carrion, our new archeologist! It is wonderful to meet you, I am sure you will do wonderful." Nellion gave Carrion as Cheshire smile before heading to a free corner of the steel box and pressing a button.

The elevator they were in began to slowly lower, bringing them to the vehicle bay of the small explorer ship. A rover large enough to fit them all laid on it's dock bed, prepared for it's mission. The group of four take up their seats as the engine flared to life, blue glowing from it's center. The exit ramp lowered as the hover pads raised up the rover a good foot of the ground.

Before them laid what was an empty wasteland, consisting of nothing but jagged stone and harsh winds across the sandy stones. "Wow. I thought we'd be landing on one of the jungle areas." Carrion states as the wind fills the bay, the sand plinking of the glass ineffective in scratching or otherwise damaging it.

"This is as close we could get to one of the older plant species on the planet. The station needed to see if we'd be able to use it for better structural support in upcoming colonies." Tur spoke loudly as their speaker rumbled out, but it was barely heard over the howls of the sand. Nellion, who was driving the rover, had begun to pilot the rover to a break in the fury that was the wind.

"Trish?" Carrion rumbled out to his guardian that was sat to his left. His helmet turned to face her.

"Yes?" Her helmet turned towards him, the inside beginning to fog up slightly from each word spoken.

"This is a lot dif-," He began to say before stopping and leaning his head to look around her, his eyes squinting at something distance. Trish turns her head to look over to her left. A short red blip broke through the torrent of sand.

"Hey! Something is over there!" Carrion shouts, pointing at the blip. Nellion squints before turning to Tur. "Let's check that out first. We have a few days to get the sample. This planet was supposed to be uninhabited."

Tur nods in agreement. Nellion begins to type onto the console, and the rover begins to hover towards the red blip. Upon getting closer to the blip, allows them all to see it is a red light connected to the side of the rock face. A large metal door that looks like it was sandblasted for a hundred years also rests in the rock face.

"Nothing to indicate sentient life was found when we scanned the planet earlier." Tur hummed in a curious tone as Carrion climbed out, much to the surprise of Trish who climbs out with him.

Getting up to the door, it was more visible to see the sand had grinded the once air-tight door enough so something could find more purchase. "Trish. Think you'll be able to open this?" Carrion asks as he runs his hand against the sanded door.

"I appreciate the compliment on how strong you think I am, but if it's a standard blast door, I ain't opening it." She states as she could just feel the puppy eyes from Carrion. "Ugh, fine, I'll try. Stand back in case something breaks horribly."

Carrion stands behind her as she hooks her padded fingers into the groove. The door lets out an ear grinding screech, but it opens none the less. Upon opening, the doors lock, no longer needing her to force it. The way down almost horribly dark. Carrion flicks on his H.E.N.S.' built in light, about to step in.

"Wow, there! I go first, as I have to keep you safe." Trish places a hand on his chest as Nellion and Tur step out of the rover. Carrion blinks before allowing her to go first. The rest of the team was not far behind them.

After setting down the grimy steel hallway that was illuminated by their suits' lights, the entrance groans. The locking mechanism snaps loudly, releasing the door. It closes, sealing them in.

Turning around after it was too late. What Nellion said next was lost on Carrion as his universal translator.

This is my attempt to throw a hat in the ring of @wolven91 's amazing universe him and a few others are making. If I have anything wrong with in the lore, please let me know! C&C very much welcomed.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

How about some more Calamity Angst with Abel

(@artisticgamer @luckybyrdrobyn @kikker-oma because I know you're a sucker for angst LOL)

A continuation of this story.

Wow. Uhhh... this is heavy, guys.

The world around him was deafening.

There was so much noise, and his ears were ringing so much, he honestly couldn't tell what sound came from what source anymore. Was it a scream? Was it a guardian? Was that a child wailing or a gear grinding? Was that his heart pounding in his ears or was it a thunderclap from another beam firing?

Abel stumbled away from the ruins, away from the flames, away from the war zone. The city was lost, just as the castle had been. But at least some civilians had been saved. They were being escorted with what few royal guards he had left, headed for Kakariko and Hateno.

Upon entering the burning fields, though, Abel caught sight of many soldiers, none of whom wore his own uniform.

The army.

"Captain!" one of them called, bearing the insignia of general.

Abel stood in place, suddenly filled with a million different emotions. He couldn't decipher what was happening in his own body and mind anymore, but his blood was burning white hot.

The general approached him. "We're rallying the troops for a last stand. Akkala is the safest fortress available to us. If we lure the guardians that way, it'll give everyone a better chance."

A better chance. A better chance.

What chance had they had in Castle Town? Where the fuck was the army then?!

A better chance. It gave Link and the princess a better chance. A chance to get away, a chance to be safe, a chance to regroup.

Regroup with who? Who would regroup with them if the army was going to Akkala?

"Captain?"

Abel realized he'd been staring. He'd been staring and hadn't even offered a salute, let alone an acknowledgement.

There was so much noise. He forgot he was staring again.

"Akkala. Right." He finally ground out hoarsely before coughing. How much smoke had he inhaled? How hot were the flames burning?

He felt a weight on his shoulder, heavy and warm, and he jumped, startled, distractedly reaching for a sword that had broken after cutting through a guardian's leg. Then he came back to reality and realized it was the general.

"There's hope yet," the general said determinedly.

You didn't see the city burn like I did.

Abel swallowed. But Link was still alive. The princess was still alive. They were the key to everything, according to the legend.

And the guardians... they... they couldn't have possibly reached Hateno, no, no, no, they were still in the main field, they hadn't gotten that far. The military was trying to draw them to the fortress.

He had to do his part.

"Men! Move out!" the general called in general, his hand sliding off Abel's shoulder, leaving the captain swaying in place.

The world moved around him. The world burned around him. The world screamed around him.

Abel stared ahead, watching troops march together, some limping, others helping their comrades. Many had wagons and horses to help them.

He heard whirring. He heard gears. He heard claws, and ticking, and thunder.

Abel turned seeing several guardians taking notice of them. One soldier called out to him, offering a horse.

The guardians came closer. The soldiers began to run and yell. Were they fighting? Were they drawing the guardians away?

But there were... there had been so many of them. Surely this handful of monsters wasn't all that remaiend?

Where are they going? Where are they going?!

The civilians. Fort Hateno. Link. Hateno. Home. Tilieth. Lyra. Toyen.

Abel stared back at the soldiers again. Watched them rally together. Looked out at the burning fields, covered in such dense smoke that nothing was recognizable.

He ran.

He ran into the flames, into the smoke, into the fields and flowers and bodies and guardians. He tripped over a fallen woman, ignoring the stillness of her form, the hand outreached to someone else who was so burned they were unrecognizable. He stood and kept running.

The countrywide famous ranch was aflame, horses galloping chaotically in terror, their whinnies screaming into the air. There was no sign of any living people, and Abel didn't bother to try to look for survivors. He could barely breathe in the smoke as it was.

But he knew he needed to get to the fort quickly.

Running to get alongside one of the frightened steeds, he grabbed at its reigns and steadily slowed enough to calm it. He grabbed the saddle and pulled himself upward as the horse trotted, still agitated, and then urged it away from the ruins of Castle Town, away from the soldiers and the handful of guardians hot on their heels. His exhausted body clung desperately to the horse as he goaded her to gallop at full speed before a nearby metal monster could pick up on their trail. There were still a few civilians fleeing in every direction with no more coordinated movement or protection from the soldiers.

Either these were the stragglers or there were no knights left.

Abel again found himself wishing he'd died in the castle, or even in the city as his fellow knights had. But he had a purpose now; while he had lost the castle and the capital, he had a plan.

He had to get to Fort Hateno.

Let the general and his army hold their last stand. Let them die with honor. But Abel knew for certain that not all of the guardians were following them to the fortress, and as a royal guard, he had a duty to the last remaining member of the royal family.

And he would be damned if he didn't go to support Link as he'd promised.

He'd told him he'd meet him at the fort, and that was what he would do.

His horse whinnied with panic as flames spread too close, licking at its hooves and his heels. He steered the mare around the flames as she almost bucked him off, and then the flames were abruptly disrupted by a clawed foot tearing into the earth and squelching them.

In the haze and smoke, Abel recognized the pink mechanical eye transfixed on him. He sucked in a sharp inhale, coughing harshly on the smoke in his lungs, and urged his mount to move.

The guardian was hot on his heels, charging its laser as he once again pushed the horse to run faster. His steed neighed in protest, her stamina draining out of her faster than it could replenish, and the guardian fired.

The earth shook, and Abel's world was wrenched out from under him. His heart shot into his throat as he hurdled through the air, landing with such impact that it thrust all the air out of him. He tumbled a ways down the path before eventually slipping into the brier, thorns holding him hostage as they shredded his already tattered uniform. He moaned, unable to move for a moment as the guardian paused just outside of the area where he was, pacing back and forth like an animal searching for its prey. After a while the whirring of its alarms grew distant as it swiveled its head to another target, and Abel heard screams. The guardian scurried away.

There was a moment, brief, strange, otherworldly, where the world just--changed? The captain blinked a moment, and suddenly the world was darker yet brighter, hotter yet colder, and it was wet.

It was nighttime. The flames were still burning. It was raining.

How--did he pass out...? When...?

Abel took a shuddering breath, his body screaming, the world spinning, but he rose anyway, feeling a thorn cut his arm as it pulled a frayed piece of uniform, holding it hostage in its spiky grasp, leaving Abel's arm more exposed and bleeding. The captain coughed as he stood on trembling legs, and his world shifted again.

He managed to avoid face planting into the brier itself, but the mud was another matter.

Groaning, Abel rose again, spitting out blood from his now split lip, rubbing his face as the rain washed some dirt away while his soiled hands caked more onto it. He stumbled a few paces, looking around for the mare he'd been on, and remembered what had happened.

Panting for air, the captain stumbled, walked, and then ran. The ground was torn up with heavy footprints, claws cutting into the earth like lacerations into skin. The rain filled the gorges with puddles, as if the earth were trying to turn this Calamity-made devastation back into something natural.

The rain was deafening. So was the thunder. Thunder? Was it thunder? Or was it guardians?

Abel whirled around warily, tripping over a stone and falling once more.

And the world brightened.

It was an enormous flash, like that of lightning, but strangely... no thunder followed it. Abel didn't know what to make of it, but there was no immediate threat, and so he pulled himself up to his feet with a nearby fallen tree and marched ahead.

And marched. And marched. And marched.

Stumbling ahead, Abel gritted his teeth as a distraction against the pain shooting through his body. At this point he had no idea what time of day it was; between the burning skies around the castle and the storm fighting him every step he took, he felt like it could have been any time of day. It certainly felt like it had been at least twenty-four hours since the Calamity had started.

Abel coughed, leaning against a tree for a moment before growling at himself in frustration. He had to keep going.

Taking another step forward, he caught a glimpse of movement, and his brain registered that there were two men on the path ahead coming his way. They'd clearly noticed him before he had them, but given the fact that they were Sheikah and he was wearing the tattered remains of a royal guard's uniform, both parties knew the other was not an enemy.

And one of them was carrying--

Abel felt his breath get sucked out of him.

The blue garment. The sun kissed hair, painted golden brown like freshly baked bread, now soaked in red and brown and black and--

The still fingers. The still feet. The still body. The paleness, the redness, the black and blue and--

Abel couldn't breathe.

Goddess no. Goddess no, goddess no goddess nogoddessnogoddessnogoddessnononononono

"Captain...?"

Abel took one step blindly. Then another. He couldn't take his eyes off the boy, he couldn't get words to form. He reached out, his hand trembling, eyes wide with horror, screams caged in his chest, dying with what was left of his heart.

"Let him see him," the other Sheikah said quietly.

The knight continued to walk as if in a trance, tunnel vision preventing him from seeing or hearing anything else as the Sheikah warrior slowly lowered the boy to the ground. Abel reached him just as he was about put his head in the dirt, falling to his knees and supporting him.

The pale face. The open wound on his neck, burned through skin all the way to fatty tissue and muscle, the blood seeping through the champion's tunic, the shallowness of his breathing--

"He fought gallantly," one of the Sheikah said. "He protected the princess."

How did this--? That meant guardians were--and Fort Hateno was--and Hateno Village--

He couldn't breathe.

Abel choked, his muscles paralyzed, air refusing to move in or out, eyes refusing to close or move, transfixed on the boy, his baby boy--

"We're taking him somewhere where he can be healed, Captain. But we have to move quickly."

He... healed?

Healed?

They were... he could be... healed...?

Hands came into his vision, reaching for the little one in his arms, and he growled, pulling the body closer to him.

"Captain..."

"Just let him hold him. Captain, can you carry him for us? We have to move if he's to survive."

Survive. He could survive. He could survive.

Get up, idiot!

Supporting his boy properly in his arms, Abel rose, nodding. The two Sheikah glanced at each other a moment before nodding in return and bidding him to follow. Their path made him turn around, heading back towards the burning fields of Central Hyrule.

Why? Where were they going?

They ran quickly. Almost too quickly. But he wasn't going to follow behind, he couldn't, he wouldn't.

Abel ran until his knees started to give out, until his lungs burned, until his body was screaming so much at him that he was crying in the rain from sheer physical pain alone.

That was all that could make him cry at this point. He had no heart left anyway.

The Sheikah occasionally glanced back at him to see if he was keeping up. He refused to be the reason--

I sent him there. I sent him there.

This is my fault.

The trees thinned out. The smoke was back, as was the heat. How could the fire still be burning in this storm?

Was it still raining? He didn't even--he looked up and realized the sky was blushing with dawn, a haze overtaking the land, the rain having long stopped. He was still soaked to the bone, and he felt warm liquid settling into his chest and arms and clothes.

His blood.

Abel picked up the pace, nearly overtaking the pair ahead of him, and they held him steady when they stopped abruptly and he nearly toppled over.

"There are still guardians on the prowl, and I think they're up on the plateau. We can't fight them all, not yet. Follow us - we'll sneak by them to get to the shrine. Purah and Robbie should be waiting there, we sent word ahead."

Purah and Robbie? Shrine? Sneaking? Sneaking. They had to be quiet. He had to be quiet.

But they had to be fast. But they couldn't engage. So they had to be quiet.

Blood continued to trickle down his chest and abdomen.

The Sheikah moved silently, their training and specialized clothing allowing for them to be like shadows. Abel was... not so graceful. But with every glance they gave, with every hint of taking over to get his precious cargo where he needed to be, the knight held on to him even tighter, he held his breath, he stayed his tears, he choked back a groan or a grunt of a whimper, he bit his tongue so hard it bled to distract him from everything else.

The stairs leading up to the Great Plateau were in ruins, but scattered and fractured as they were, they were still somewhat passable. He could hear the destruction up above, the guardians reigning terror on the few people who had been there when everything had fallen apart.

He didn't even look at the Gatepost Town as they passed it. He just climbed. Heard firing lasers. Heard his own gasping breath and held it. Climbed more.

The Sheikah pair paused at the top of the stairs and then motioned to move. He ran with them, dodging between trees as the world burned. He glanced to the left a moment and saw the Temple of Time. People must have been holed up in there at some point--or they still were--as several guardians were attempting to break its walls and climb in.

"There you are! Who...?"

"Captain of the royal guard."

Abel looked ahead and saw two more Sheikah, a woman and a man, neither dressed as warriors. The female adjusted her glasses a little, brushing mud off her face as she pointed towards a cave.

"Let's get him in," she said hastily.

Abel followed, nearly slipping down the stairs, feeling the damp coolness of the cave stiffen his entire body. They continued a short distance before entering a dead end with some sort of bath in it.

"Put him in there," she directed him.

The knight stepped forward and then froze in front of the bath.

He... he couldn't put him down.

"What are you doing?" she asked impatiently. "He needs to be in there!"

He held the boy more tightly.

"Captain," the other spoke, suddenly at his side. "Your name is Abel, right?"

Abel stared at the bath, frozen in place, trembling from head to foot.

"My name's Robbie," the man continued. "I'm a scientist and researcher alongside Purah. This place is called the Shrine of Resurrection. It's going to heal him."

Abel forced air in and out of his lungs. Yes, yes. Shrine. Healed. He would be healed. Put him in.

Let him go.

He couldn't. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't.

"He's your son, right?"

The room grew still. Abel finally moved, head turning slightly towards Robbie.

"The bath will heal him," Robbie said gently. "All you need to do is put him down."

Let him go.

Move, dammit!

Let him go!

You're going to kill him if you don't let him go!

Abel stared at the bath again, and his knees buckled. Purah gasped, her footsteps shooting forward as if to catch him, but he caught himself well enough, letting his knees and hips and back take the impact and holding the boy steady.

Slowly, he put Link in the bath, and he let him go.

Robbie's hand was on his shoulder. "Okay. Let us take it from here, Abel."

Abel took a step away. Then another. He backed up until he hit the cool damp wall behind him. He watched Purah and Robbie place a device in a stand, he watched everything glow blue, he watched water fill the bath until it nearly submerged his boy entirely.

"This shrine will seal and pressurize," Purah announced. "We need to go or we're not getting out until it's done."

"When will that be?" one of the Sheikah asked curiously.

Purah glanced at Abel a moment, uncertain, and sighed. "I... don't know. Could be a day, a week, a month, a year... multiple years. He's... pretty injured, and we've not tested the rate at which this place heals."

Abel swallowed and looked away, finding his voice. "There are still guardians out there. He won't be safe until we get rid of them."

He didn't wait for a reply. He didn't need one. The Sheikah followed him out of the shrine, Purah and Robbie lingering to make some final adjustments as Abel and the warriors surveyed the area.

Everything beyond that was just... a blur.

The scientists left. Advised him on a few things that he barely heard. Memory loss, healing time, maintaining the integrity of the shrine, something about a slate. The warriors planned an assault with him. Another guardian rampaged onto the plateau, its laser and weight finally making the stairway cave in, trapping all of them but preventing more enemies from coming.

They fought. For three days they fought. Kotek, the original warrior carrying Link, fell first. On the end of the second day, Moya fell as well.

Abel stood his ground before the guardian by the gardens, two of its legs sparking, its eye readying for another blast. He had no way to block it, no way to eliminate it. He should run into the forest.

He collapsed instead. The red beam that promised destruction took its aim on his forehead.

And then a golden light blinded him, and warmth and safety and otherworldly lightness flowed over him like a waterfall. He fell backwards entirely, shielding his eyes, and when he opened them, the guardian was motionless and quiet.

Wh... what...?

Abel stared at the guardian a moment, bewildered. Then he crawled towards it, poking it.

It didn't stir.

What?

The metal beast was still warm with use, filled with a fire of the charge it was about to unleash with him, but it... was... dead??

The sun shone brightly, and--

Wait. That... wasn't the sun.

Dragging himself around the husk of the guardian, Abel pulled himself to his feet with the nearest wall and stared.

Hyrule Castle was glowing.

What was happening? That golden light was unnatural, but it wasn't the malice of the Calamity!

Was it... could it be...?

Was it Princess Zelda?!

Abel fell to the ground, unable to stand any longer but equally unable to look away. He held his torso up on trembling arms, gaping at the sight before him.

It has to be her.

Goddess above. She actually did it.

She actually--

Link.

The word screamed through his mind, as if he'd forgotten him, as if he hadn't been fighting the last three days to ensure the guardians didn't get anywhere near the shrine. Yet somehow he had forgotten, somehow despite his mission his boy hadn't crossed his mind once. He'd been too focused on the objective.

Abel shot to his feet and ran. He ran so hard and so fast, the world was blurring and spinning, his head was pounding, his heart was racing.

Had the princess' power healed Link too? Could it do such a thing?

The entrance was still sealed, a nondescript gate guarding priceless treasure.

So he... wasn't ready yet. But he was safe. Link was safe.

Kotek. Moya. They weren't. They were... they were still out in the elements, still exposed, still awaiting their final rest.

He couldn't focus on any one thing and he refused to sit still. So he turned around instead. He roamed the forest to find the bodies. Used his hands and some debris and broken tools to dig graves.

As he smoothed the soil over the last of his handiwork, he looked at the castle again and saw that it was... normal again. Nondescript. Quiet. In pieces, but hard to tell from here. Shattered, but standing.

Had she died, then? Was the battle over for her too? Didn't they need both the princess and the hero?

He didn't know.

Abel walked back to the shrine. Placed his hand on the stone. Felt its coolness seep into his fingers, trickling through his bones to his arm, his shoulder, his chest, his core.

The world around him was deafening.

The silence of the night screamed. It was too quiet all of a sudden. His mind couldn't comprehend thoughts or words anymore. All he saw was the rock in front of him. All he registered was what he could touch. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against it, closing his eyes and feeling his body lurch in response, but...

But for one moment, all was still. For one moment, he could see Link, resting, healing.

Abel kissed the stone gently. Swallowed. Slid to the ground. The world turned on its side. When did he lie down?

Spots were in his vision now. Was he... was he going to die?

Did he want to die?

Feebly, he reached out to the stone again. He... he wanted...

He just wanted Link to be safe.

He knew he would be safe. It was over. The guardians were still. The Calamity quelled. The world was silent.

It... was over.

It was over.

And the silence was deafening.

[the-sword-lesbian]

Unexpected Field Trip pt 3

My back hit the wall as I retreated around a corner. Chunks of marble and stone flying past me as the iron pellets clipped the edge of the corner. “I’m really getting tired of these so-called ‘rifles’ Rupert,” I said to the hound. The large beast gave a grumble of vague agreement. He had blood dripping down his muzzle from the guards that had been foolish enough to challenge him.

I peeked my head around the corner to get a vantage but pulled back in time for another spray of rubble to narrowly miss me. “Honestly this is just ridiculous,” I said as I started refilling the rotating mechanism on my crossbow with the last few of my bolts. “You’re all cowards the lot of you!” I shouted towards the other end of the hallway.

To my surprise the sporadic firing stopped. To my even greater surprise a voice I actually recognized came from that end of the corridor.

“Andrea?” The voice queried, “is that you babe?”

“Charlotte?!” I questioned after a moment of being stunned as I processed hearing the voice of my ex girlfriend on the opposite end of a fight from myself.

“It is you!” Charlotte exclaimed. “What a surprise!”

“Charlotte, you joined the Kingsguard?” I asked.

There was a giggle at first then she replied, “That’s ’Captain’ of the Kingsguard.”

“Well clearly I made the right decision by breaking up with her,” I muttered to myself.

“What are you doing here love?” She asked after a moment.

“Oh, just retrieving the children of my employer,” I said as I spun the rotator into place. “You wouldn’t happen to remember where you left them would you dear?”

Charlotte giggled again, I was starting to remember how maddening that giggle was whenever I was trying to be serious. “Hmmm ‘fraid not babe. Why are you here though?” She asked, “shouldn’t you be destroying monsters not protecting them?”

My blood boiled, she didn’t know these girls. She didn’t know how hard they tried at everything. How clever Coralline was, her coursework was immaculate, I’ve never met a twelve year old as smart as her in all my days. Or how charismatic and graceful Sophia could be, her beautiful singing voice, she was sure to wow audiences with her performances one day.

But to Charlotte and these knights they were nothing more than monsters to be hunted and killed. I would not allow it. “Charlotte!” I called back, trying to keep my anger in check. “I am their Governess and those children are under my care. And when I find them there best not be a hair out of place on their heads.”

That laugh again, “no promises babe.”

I lean away from the corner to see if there’s anything I could use to my advantage. Near the far end there stood a decorative suit of armor with a tall tower shield. Carefully I formed a plan in my head. I looked over at Rupert, “I think I’m quite done with old acquaintances don’t you?” I got to my feet and carefully stepped away from the wall, taking care to not get too close to the corner and expose myself to more gunfire. Finally as the suit of armor came into view, I leveled my crossbow and aimed carefully at its shield.

My first bolt knocked it loose and as it was falling to the floor I quickly cycled the lever on my weapon and fired another. The second bolt sent it into a top-like spin. I grinned at my success so far. Cycling the lever again, I waited for the spin to hit just the right angle. Then, as quickly as I could manage I fired, reloaded, and fired again, sending a duo of bolts toward the spinning shield. They ricocheted off their target and disappeared beyond the corner. A loud cursing from the opposition told me that at least one of them had hit home.

Quickly as I could I threw my weapon over my shoulder and took off in a full sprint down the hall. If at least one of my shots hit then two on two makes for a better fight than three on two. Ten feet from my goal, two armored figures rounded the corner and leveled their weapons at me. I dropped into a slide and felt a large shadow pass over me as the hulking hound-like form of Rupert lunged forward. He tackled one of the knights, knocking him to the ground and tearing into him as if his steel armor were mere tissue paper.

Taking advantage of the distraction and the momentum of my slide I kicked the legs out from under the remaining knight before spinning and dropping my heel onto his neck. At the same time I brought my crossbow to bear on the third figure slumped behind the corner of the wall.

Charlotte glared at me with burning eyes and to my surprise both of my crossbow bolts sticking out of her, one in the thigh and the other in the shoulder. I mentally pat myself on the back for my accuracy only until I realised she was also aiming her weapon at me.

“Guess we’re in a bit of a standoff, ay babe?” She said more than asked.

“It would seem so,” I replied, “reminds me a bit of our last argument, but without all the dishes being thrown.”

She let out a dry laugh, “not so much the same I think,” she said, pulling back a hammer on her smaller firearm.

“You’re right,” I countered. “This time I have help.”

A deep, growl caught Charlotte’s attention and she turned to see the fire and teeth filled maw of a hellhound inches from her face. “What the fuck…” she muttered, losing her grip on her gun.

I quickly relieved her of it before standing up and dusting myself off. I turned the weapon over in my hands, inspecting it carefully, it was all metal and craftwork like the rifles but in a much smaller package, able to be fired one handed. “Tell me about this new weapon of yours darling,” I said to Charlotte, not turning my eyes to her.

She scrambled back against the wall as Rupert sniffed at her, licking his teeth. “You can go fuck yourself,” she said, panicked.

I sighed, “always so impolite,” I tutted at her. “Rupert.”

The hound growled at Charlotte as he leaned closer to her, “wait!! Wait wait!” She pleaded, “it’s a revolver they call it, five shots before you need to reload.”

“Rupert sit,” he grumbled at me before planting himself on the ground as ordered. I turned to regard Charlotte again and saw her glaring up at me, thoroughly bested and looking entirely furious about it. “And how does it work?” I asked calmly.

She bared her teeth, beyond aggravated that she had been so completely defeated. “Pull back the hammer on the rear then pull the trigger to fire,” she grumbled.

“And the number of remaining charges?” I inquired, looking back down at the revolver.

“Four” she said, she had a glint in her eye and the slight upturn of a smile on her cheek. She really was always an awful liar.

“I see,” I replied, leveling the revolver at her. “Shall we test your counting skills then?” I asked, pulling the hammer back.

The snide look on Charlotte's face was immediately overtaken by fear, “three!” She said in a panic, “there’s only three left.”

“Splendid,” I said, smirking at her. “I knew you were better at counting than that. I tucked the weapon into my belt and set off down the hall. “Rupert, heel.” The hound fell into step behind me.

“What’s to become of me then babe?” Charlotte called after me, some of her snark returning after seeming to realise that I wasn’t going to feed her to a hellhound.

I turned my head to call over my shoulder, “I would suggest maybe locating some alternate form of employment.”

I heard her scoff as I pushed the doors to the next corridor open, continuing my search for the girls and their captors.

Parts [0], [1], [2], 3, [4]