#enforcer life

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[egophiliac]

the Stitch crossover so far is just pure chaos and honestly, that tracks.

[alvsanne]

House of the Dragon S02E05, S02E01, S02E02 and S01E04 // "Labour" by Paris Paloma // "Astyanax taken from Andromache" by Louis Desplaces // "Fire and Blood" by George R. R. Martin // "The Anger of Achilles" by Jacques-Louis David (detail of Clytemnestra with her daughter Iphigenia)

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

i love the idea of sy transmigrating into svsss and being hailed as a seer or some sort of demigod or something. even better if he’s a disciple. he lets one weird thing abt the plot slip, it comes to pass, and suddenly he’s elevated in the sect, yqy is consulting him on major happenings, and sqq becomes fiercely possessive because that’s his head disciple, tyvm. he’s not spectacularly talented in martial arts or swordsmanship, but he’s incredibly skilled with musical and spiritual cultivation

he’s poisoned by without a cure during the demon invasion when elder hammer tries his stupid sneak attack on lbh. after that, lbh becomes his unofficial assistant, because all sy really wants to do is hang out and vibe, but he’s too valuable to the sect to be put on bed rest and somebody’s gotta make sure he takes his meds and doesn’t collapse alone on a mission. and sqq treats sy’s poisoning as lbh’s fault (lbh does too, sadly), so he makes sy lbh’s responsibility

[arias-room]

[s0fter-sin]

my favourite soapghost trope is soap accidentally seeing ghost without his mask and instantly covering his eyes so he doesn’t see anything

[blueskittlesart]

*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?

tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.

[lunarharp]

coco birthday :)

[soath]

The thing about Bells Hells is that asking their opinion on anything is like setting up a political survey at a rave under a bridge or in some sort of especially niche genre specific goth club or backstage at an off-off Broadway conceptual show; you’re going to get really interesting answers! They are not going to be representative of the general population in the slightest. There is a faction of people who think we need to solve this by introducing one Designated Average Relationship With The Universe Dave to the polling sample, ruining their beautiful natural diversity of guys-who-could-be-in-the-musical-RENT. To which the wise man says: “Never!” This is the little freaks with half baked philosophies and unresolved personal issues party. More pressingly, it has been noted that Bells Hells doesn’t seem to realize that their relationship with power writ large is bafflingly different from the average Exandrian. This is an problem, but it’s one that could be in-character, one more extension of an admirable commitment to trauma-informed alarming theological opinions.

[teleportationmagic]

The thing about Jayce and Mel is that like. She does not view him as an investment. That is just certifiably false. You have to skip over all her scenes to believe that.

In the beginning she does! She absolutely does! She conceives of their relationship as a business one - where she makes profit off his inventions, and he profits from her business and political acumen, both monetarily and powerwise. And overall, she believes she's fulfilled her half of the bargain.

It's only when he comes back to her after Viktor gets sick that she realizes he believes this is something deeper. And it's notable that she responds to that emotion - she opens up about herself too, comforts him, and expresses real emotionality about it. It's then that we see his ideals start to influence her - especially reawakening in her a desire for nonviolence.

Wanting to do things peacefully is something that's been with her since she was a child. It is what guides her away from Noxus, because her pacifism just does not fit there. It's why she loved Piltover so - they aren't a violent expansionist empire, which is a really low bar, but that's what she's grown up in.

She never finds the violence in Zaun, because she never goes looking for it. This is her fault, and her flaw, let me make that clear. She has some of the most power in the city, and should know about what kind of violence is holding up, and work to resolve it, truly. But she doesn't, because she's focused on her own exploits, and has so insulated herself away from the class struggle that it does not register for her until it grows to violence.

And then, once that violence comes, she maintains that pacifism with an iron grip, more than Jayce himself. It is Jayce who constructs (almost) all the HexTech weapons that are used in the Undercity, in Caitlyn's police squadron. He betrays the oaths that he's made to his partner, where Mel keeps the promise she's made to her's. She is the only politician left to try to tamp down on the worst of Ambessa's instincts, and her removal from Piltover is what marks it's descent into militarism.

She is ultimately a complicated woman, with a bunch of interesting relationships to Piltover and Zaun. I think you can divide Piltover as a city neatly between her, Jayce, and Caitlyn - each of them standing for some of Piltover's best instincts, and some of its worst.

[silentsockfeet]

so when are we as a society going to talk about how cait hitting vi and then leaving her sobbing on her knees is a direct parallel to vi hitting powder and then leaving her in season 1

[beecreeper]

The Golden Reign of Gortash -- Day 6

Alternate Universe / Dealer's Choice

I could NOT pass up the opportunity to preach 1920's Gortash to the masses. He's a bootlegger kingpin using his illegal booze money to fund his campaign for mayor.

[television-overload]

I'm just curious...

If yes: what media/characters specifically? I find this so interesting!

If not: have you ever considered a career choice based on a form of media you enjoy, but ended up not doing it?

[cent-scratchnsniff]

it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)

[the-crooked-library]

look i don't know how true this is but i hate hate hate in my bones the way that the recent rise of purity culture has intersected with minimalism and irony poisoning

no sex. no dark themes. no "fetishization." no ornamentation. no "unrealistic" lighting and you can't see a thing. actors don't enunciate for shit. no "purple prose" or "overwriting" (it's just an adverb) or "tumblr prose" or whatever the fuck the newest term will be. sincerity is cringe, ew, why would he say that. no colour grading, because we want the big-screen blockbuster to be "realistic," BUT we will shoot it in a room with fake sunlight and slap the effects onto the scene post-production. moral fiction. moral fanfiction. "omg this is craazyyy was the creator on drugs??!!1????" about any form of creative expression. lists of reasons why this short experimental amateur one-shot is Very Bad Writing, actually. s*x smex spice adult fun time p0rn k!ll grape sewer slide.

everything is boring, nothing is real, i am fucking sick of it

[bombasticsalt]

Arcane and systemic issues aka why Jinx isn't the biggest problem for Arcane's characters

So this post is mainly based on this comment I saw on some random reaction video that said Jinx was the biggest problem in Arcane's universe and why they are wrong. Did we watch the same show? Of course you can root for whoever you want to but I don't feel like you can say people of the undercity revolting are the main problem.

See the thing is Jinx wouldn't have been created as she is if it weren't for her being born on the wrong side of town. I've seen people say Mylo created Jinx or Vi created Jinx but the thing is that arcanes society as it is created Jinx. Often when people talk about powder I see people say that she's only a kid and of course she's bad at stuff, but I think the bigger issue isn't that Powder is bad at stuff it's that she shouldn't have to be good at making bombs, or fighting, or parkour. Powder was a child, a sensitive child at that she's not less talented than any other normal child but, she's surrounded by other kids who have had to have thick skin and have been forced to survive on their wits. Of course, compared to Mylo, Claggor, and Vi she's the weak link because she's the only one in that group who doesn't have something she excells in. Powder has the talent of a child because she is a child who shouldn't have been forced to be at anything other than a childs level. Vi has always been a fighter from what we've seen and that's something that helps her but not every kid is like that, not every kid is a natural leader and they shouldn't have to be they're children it's their job to learn. But for kids like Mylo they don't see it that way all they can see is that everybody else is good at something except for Powder. Mylo makes Powder feel bad for not being good at anything, for jinxing every job because in his eyes she should be up to Zaun's standards. Even though the kids in Zaun shouldn't have to be tough, by normal standards Powder is a smart child but by the undercity's standards she's a weak link. It's not that Powder is bad at everything or a Jinx she's just a child who wasn't born equipped for the world she was brought in.

One of the things I love about arcane is how much content they give us outside of the canon show especially, the enemy music video. Scene's that stick with me are when Powder see's these two people fighting and she has this sad little face it's so heartbreaking, and when she does her little finger gun thing with enforcers. Which brings me to my next point, the undercity is ultimately stuck in a cycle of violence. Doesn't it say something that Silco's best idea of how to control the undercity is to introduce a highly addictive and dangerous drug that grants ordinary people the chance to be strong and retaliate. Most of the enforcers don't care about justice and are more focused on keeping people in the undercity than keeping peace. When you're raised around violence for that long it becomes all you know, hell what made Powder get into wanting to make bombs in the first place. As long as Jinx has been alive the enforcers and topside has been the enemy who has repeatedly said let them eat cake to the undercity's struggles. In fact the entire undercity is full of Jinx's, people who crave violence and chaos who begin to have an unstoppable rage against topside. Jinx is the person who had the guts to look topside in the face and declare war, a revolution to cut off Marie Antoinette's head. Of course in that moment for Jinx it probably was not a statement it was an act of hate, an act of passion, an act of rebirth.

Jinx is a symbol because of her defiance (killing the counselors) but somebody was going to have to do it eventually. Jinx is every top-siders worst stereotype about people from the undercity personified, but of course she is she's a mentally unstable person raised in a society that would rather pretend she does not exist rather than stopping this cycle of poverty and insanity. Of course she's a stereotype in a government that's done barely anything to support her or her sister. And the thing is it was never about Jinx, well it is but not really. Jinx is a name for the monster, a face to make the people raise their pitchforks and burn the entire coven. Jinx is the image not the movement. The biggest issue with the undercity isn't that the people are naturally disturbed it's that they're trapped in an endless cycle of suffering that ultimately leads to mentally unwell people.

Classism is such a big subject when it comes to arcane that I feel as if some fans refuse to acknowledge in a way that says something other than "oh yeah the under city is poor how sad". So many people talk about how you shouldn't compare trauma but it's objectively clear how class effects how people handle trauma. One of the biggest examples is Powder and Vi's parents death vs Caitlyn's mom dying. A line that sticks with me is during the first episode of season two when Vi says she watched the enforcers kill her parents and that Caitlyn has no idea how that feels then Caitlyn says she does because she's sounds so genuine when she says this but she doesn't at all. When Jinx killed Caitlyn's mom she was allowed to hate Jinx, allowed to hate the people of the undercity and nobody ever tries to justify her mother's death. Vi doesn't have that luxury she can't afford to not like the enforcers, she's not allowed to not like them because "they're a symbol of justice" sure they killed her parents but these are the supposed good guys! Vi isn't allowed to express her grief for her parents because the same people who killed them are the same people supposed to protect them, she can't afford to not like people from top side because "they're the good guys the civilized one's among a sea of beasts" sure they made mistakes and sure those mistakes get people from the undercity killed but still "We're the good guys"

Caitlyn claims that Vi can show people that not all of Zaun supports Jinx which feels wrong especially since Jinx shot that rocket with absolutely nobody supporting her. People supported Silco and that they should fight but in that moment that killed Cait's mom it was only Jinx. Yet for Caitlyn it's not Us vs Jinx, it's Us vs The undercity, she even tells Vi that she thought Vi was on their side. Not the side of justice the side of piltover because all it took for Caitlyn to hate the undercity was one bad person. That's what it took to make her see these people as inhumane and lesser than the people of piltover. Caitlyn and Jinx are parallels and I think the only difference between them that isn't just class is that; somebody gave a name to Powder's monster.