#enemies to fuck this shit I'm out
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When i say enemies to lovers i do not mean "rude to each other to lovers" I need atleast 2.5 murder attempts
#yes#as i've said before#is it really true love if they don't stab each other#also the only thing better is friends to mortal enemies to lovers#and nothing in the history of dramas will ever top this trope summed up in a line as well as#“your sword still feels affectionate”#from#my country: the new age#bonus points if the couple ends up dying together in each others' arms#or simply#Wallace Huo#except and I cannot stress this enough#the journey of flower#fuck that drama no matter how many years go by I will never forgive that finale or that drama in general#that one although technically enemies to lovers#it's an#enemies to fuck this shit I'm out#in my book#kdrama#cdrama#media
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I am once again knitting which means I'm back to the Nein rewatch and happened to be on Midnight Espionage, and truly INSANE episode. The egg dick, both break-ins, the Zauber Spire attack, and the first time a beacon is on screen in like four hours flat. Trent Ikithon is there. The episode ends with Liam and Marisha yelling, "TRUST THE PORN."
#they dont make 'em like this anymore folks#honestly if you think the start of c2 is slow I trust that you hold that opinion but i do NOT understand#like yeah okay alfield is just basic dnd shit but you need a little of that#for PACING#literally the sheer quantity of plot that happens in this episode alone is wild#also very fun watching liam physically back away from the table in his chair realizing Trent is there#re: the comment this week iirc that he did NOT expect caleb's backstory to be so central#do you think that precisely was the moment he knew he done fucked up#cuz my guess is yes lmao#ANYWAY i did have to figure out what spell they used to attack the tower and I'm pretty sure it was gravity sinkhole#honestly pretty good for a fourth level spell! rip that dunamancer whos for sure gonna come to in like. hupperdook in fifteen years#i will not stop asking about the absolute trauma involved#with dying in this kind of assault and coming to in the next life in your enemy's military contractor town#insane concepts.#ANYWAY#megs rewatches c2
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Every time Alastor wakes up is worse than the last.
His dreams are full of Lucifer, glorious and beautiful and terrible, and no matter what he does he can't escape them.
The hotel is trying to kill him. The hotel is driving him insane. What other course of action does he have left other than to run?
(lays down on the floor) WSBE 8 is out. Finally. Oh my god, finally.
It's Alastor POV and it should serve to fill in some of his experiences with the sentient Hazbin Hotel, while also hopefully opening up some of the mystery.
I can not believe this is almost complete. I am in shock. I never expected this to become a series but here we are at the penultimate installment. There's just one left now...
#hazbin fanfic#radioapple#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#WSBE#We Should've Been Enemies#Holy shit part 8#I did it#no idea when part 9 is coming out#I want to say “soon” though?#And then straight on ahead to human AU baby#I'm going to FINISH SOMETHING#chill soot fuck
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kitakata sensei au stuff [from sept/2023]
#kuwagami#kuwana jin#yagami takayuki#lost judgment#kitakata sensei#jichanart#you ever look at two guys who do nothing but fight and go “ah... but what if they were... domestic”#anyway truly shocked that i dont see more kitakata sensei content out in the wild idk i think it's a fun concept#like hear me out yagami helps out the mrc like canon except he meets kitakata there and they proceed to have the pettiest beef ever#and a nice mundane enemies to lovers romance#like i love the high stakes of canon but having them fight over pointless shit is also good#yagami complains to all his friends about this dickhead he met at his volunteering work and then is forced to admit he wants to kiss him#“kiss” lol. fucking is also an acceptable option (and kaito will say it even if yagami refuses to)#also yeah i gave him his kuwana hair instead i'm not giving him that cringe ass canon haircut lmao#ALSO also kitakata sensei vapes on the school roof absolutely#ive thought a lot about this au can you tell#(looks at my unfinished fanfiction)
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The more I learn about the history of the middle east in general, the more I realise that the "Israel-Palestine conflict" is actually just a group killing their own fellow shared ethnic group who are "too brown".
Hebrews and Arabs both originate from Phoenicians, aka "Abraham's descendents" according to their respective oral stories and passed on histories. They are from the same place and people. However, there is a narrative that twists this and claims that Arabs were "always an outside force that invaded", when the various groups within that ethnicity always had their share of cooperation and conflict in various stages of history. Just like, say, the various groups in France. They were of the same group and no particular ethnicity had no more of a "claim" to the land than the other, they just had their beef and eventually integrated.
So when I see "but the Arabs are colonisers" I can't help but ask; what is a colonisers to you? Seriously. If colonisation means "any conflict in the past between a shared group from the same place" every single group would be colonisers. There's no such thing as "an innocent conflict" where atrocities weren't committed by either side. So please get that out of your head if you want to say "but the Arabs did X, Y, Z to the Hebrews so it's colonisation and they don't belong in A, B or C areas". That's just not how colonisation works. It's like calling TERF or cis a slur when they're not. Conflict between the same people from the same area is, yeah, a conflict hit not colonisation. However, a people who are from a completely different place who want to erase an ethnic group and take over their culture, erase their history and get rid of their physical features? Yeah, that's what colonisation is. It's genocide with the aim to erase a specific group or culture and take it and the land over. For example, the British in the Middle East.
The problem with calling Arabs "colonisers" is not only is it completely historically wrong, they're from the same place and have the same origins as the Hebrews, but they (like Palestinian Jews) have been their since before the British came. Compared to European Jews who came later on after having lived in Europe (and became European as that is genuinely a part of their culture and ethnicity as well and shouldn't be erased or forgotten, that's also cultural erasure of Germanic, Polish, etc traditions passed on) and, sure, do have origins there *as well* but it needs to be understood that they, specifically Zionists, are a part of the British colonial project aimed at killing *both* Arabs and Jews. The point isn't to help Jews against a colonisers from the first few centuries (sorry to tell you everyone, but no, the Ottoman Empire, Baylon and the Pharaohs literally do not exist anymore, like how Italy isn't the Roman Empire by default because that's where Rome is), but a group of people who've just been living there for the past few centuries and generations who just want to live. The problem is, they haven't been allowed that and propaganda keeps being pushed that completely jumps around historical facts like, for example, Jews (ethnically speaking) were not always Jews but the Ancient Hebrews, aka, Phoenicians, aka where Arabs came from ethically. They are the same people, just who moved to different areas and developed different cultures and languages. Sort of like, you know, every other nation with specific dialects for specific regions and different cultures and folk stories depending on where you go.
The point is, so much of Jewish history is actively being erased to "protect the Jews" by...commuting cultural genocide of the Jews and Arabs. It ignores the actual impact of Nazism within Israel's formation and history, how much it influenced policy, how Jews who were "too visibly Phoenicians" aka appeared too Jewish or arabic or middle eastern in appearance were deemed as "weaker" and "lesser" for my surviving the holocaust and used as a reason to deny rights to both Jews and Arabs who were too visibly Semitic. It ignores how antisemetic Israel is towards Jewishness and how utterly antisemetic Islamophobia is because they are literally from the same origin and, yes, hatred and fear of one does carry into hatred and fear of the other. So much of the propaganda and denialism of history happening right now is a direct response to dear and hatred of "big noses", "brown skin" and people deemed as too middle eastern because they, just like in World War II, World War I and beforehand, antisemetism is the backbone of British imperialism and conquest of the middle east (yes, this also means a targeting of Arabs and Jews as people who look a specific way). And yes I'm annoyed and yes this is a ramble that's probably not very coherent, but damn I'm so sick and tired of misinformation and the twisting of everything to suit this narrative of "Arabs versus Jews" as if they aren't both just Semites who are being collectively oppressed, erased and reinvented by the west to suit western ends.
#I'm tired man#Palestine#Israel#No Jews didn't just manefest out of thin air in Judea because it has “Judea”ism in it...#and no Arabs didn't all just pop out of the air in the Arab Peninsula#They're all from the same place and/or region and ethnicity#and yes Europeans with Hebrew ancestory are still also European just like how I'm also European (Ukrainian Polish) and Indigenous Australian#It doesn't automatically mean I can walk up to a Dharawal elder and say like#“oh I'm Yorta Yorta so I can do whatever I want to you and you're an invader”#Also I can't just pretend I don't benefit from white privilege when yeah I don't get called shit like petrol sniffer and other slurs#I don't get treated different because I don't look indigenous#doesn't mean I'm not and don't belong here and I still deserve to know my culture and language#BUT that doesn't make me entitled to other nations/ tribes around me simply because our grandparents were neighbours#Doesn't mean I get to reinvent THEIR history and oral traditions to suit me and my family's genuine displacement#Yeah we were fucked over and our family suffered a lack of knowledge of who wer were but that doesn't give us the right to do it to others#The british are the enemy not Palestinians or Arabs or Hebrews#when will y'all learn that maybe it's the far right people who currently want to erase multiple cultures for money and power??#We all have a shared issue and that issue is fucking Britian.
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Picked up BG3 on my main run after a long while not playing it (I stopped during the beginning of act 3 bc I was overwhelmed by the sheer quantity omfg) and I just finished a BIG step in Shadowheart's quest and I'm.... so emotional ;;;;;;;;; I cradle her in my arms and give her the biggest hug ever
#I can't wait to redo this on my qalaari run where I am ALSO romancing her....#qalaari will love and spoil the FUCK out of her....#(on my main run im romancing karlach)#and then i gotta restart my lana/rena run to be able to double romance lae'zel and minthara on it...#now that they made it so that you can not kill minthy and find her later without following the goblins etc#bg3#baldur's gate 3#flare#i'm playing druid on my main run and i ma going to... miss the versatility for sure when i get to my other runs dfkmsjhgmkdjghfmkjdgfh#(barbarian for qalaari and ranger/fighter + sorcerer for Rena & Lana)#i mean sorcerer is also versatile but.... spore druid ????#so fucking tanky lmao#i love my spores and my shrooms okay#flare (my druid) is just a fucking cryptid i love that for her#mycologist cryptid...#i dont have much personnality developped for her but she's BIG into the cycle of life n shit#she will work on preventing death where she can but she is also NOT that into resurrection and shit like...#when death has made her true claim then she has made her claim yknow...#beary games#beary talk#text post#shadowheart#anyway i love wall of fire i love spore clouds#i hate how every single non-enemy npc tries to walk in my AoEs instead of going around them
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Mitsugi squatting everywhere is the only highlight of this damn game
#paradise vn#pil/slash#blvn#AND I THOUGHT MATSUDA'S ROUTE WAS FRUSTRATING#I THOUGHT MATSUDA WAS ANNOYING!!!#takara is literally just a spoilt rich kid i can't fucking stand him adzuvivefnjn#ugh i usually like to keep the best for last so it's damn annoying when the 'true' route is shit#looking at you fujieda#haven't finished it yet but i got both bad ends and rn azuma just told matsu and mitsu what happened on the island#okay so everyone's ancestors were on the island at some point and fought against the takaras#who have then been monitoring their enemies' descendants/killing them off#they have control over the fucking hospital and with how much details takara knew of azuma's past i'm assuming they straight up had cameras#dunno how far it'll go with the 'superhuman' strength bullshit and the takaras needing to eat human flesh#like if it's gonna be straight up fantasy or a bit more 'realistic' with like genetic mutations from their ancestors being fucking cannibal#even though ~100 years isn't that long ago#unless that family was fucked up even before takara's (great?) grandpa's era#anyway at this point i don't really care about the story anymore#that route kinda ruined it for me tbh#like i guess it was obvious since the beginning with a whole boat never showing up#but i don't particularly like when it just turns out everything was being controlled by some big bad ultra powerful organization#and that 'everything was decided when you were born' and shit#i was hoping for smth a bit more organic when i started playing#like mitsugi's and matsuda's routes were fine if i ignore the hints of 'big bad ultra powerful organization'#i'll just have to wipe takara's route from my brain i guess
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Anyway listening to Pulse and Anxiety 2 makes me wanna paint the Conclave as Funger enemies. I think they could fuck hard as bosses.
#would be fucking hell fighting them though because of limb limitations.#(quick explanation. there's only so many diff enemies you can have in rpgmaker afaik. the limit is 8.#so in the first game you can fight 2 dark priests with four diff sections of the body (can't recall rn) to attack. and that's the max.#the mob in the second game has 3 enemies but they all only have one 'section' to attack. the limb system isn't available in the mob fight.#because there's 3 enemies with supposedly 5 diff sections to attack if they were standalone. (head torso legs and both arms)#but since there's 3 enemies in the mob it exceeds the limit. so the each enemy is just one whole section and you can't cut their limbs off.)#so yeah explanation over. I'm saying conclave would be shit to fight.#4 for each conclave member and the remaining 4 for cerberus that baldias has i guess.#i think Chronus could put up like. absolute defense felion first turn.#Axus would pull out his fuckign gun lol. maybe it comes out after a few turns? I'm thinkjng like needles but different...#baldias is main damage dealer I'd reckon. Libraria mostly support. i guess Chronus could also deal damage.#maybe Libraria could provoke the player characters into attacking her. like she casts pheromones on herself.#or she casts pheromones on chronus#maybe he's more tanky#I'm not good at game design dont ask for more#I'd need to study miro's style though. which will be a bit of a time.#ah...#ah rambling
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Okay, you know what?
The bastard is almost, on an aesthetic level, not terrible to look at while he’s like this.
Asleep, he can’t be a fucking sociopath or an asshole. Those too-clever eyes of his aren’t judging and dissecting, they’re closed.
The absence of that bright blue gaze makes him seem surprisingly vulnerable.
So does the way Daz has, in the short while he’s been asleep, already snuggled up to him and is being clingy.
After the last few hours of running around looking for him, it’s a relief to know that he’s been mostly fine all along.
Naturally, when Daz didn’t come home, Raine got worried. The Council, aside from Lee who had been kept out of it, have been searching his known hidey-holes for hours now.
Obviously the HQ was one of the first places they checked, but the wall that leads into the hidden room was sealed off. They assumed that meant he wasn’t there, so they ignored it.
It wasn’t until Aster, in a last-ditch attempt, decided to open it up and check that the bastard was found.
He’d been fine, thankfully. Just having hyper fixated on the code and shut out everything else.
Aster carefully takes his com out and taps out a message to the others.
ShiningAster: bastard located. fine but asleep. focused on coding body for Innit, forgot he has a human body.
RaineStorm: seriously?? uhg, at least it’s normal shit this time
RaineStorm: as opposed to soul crushing despair and existential terror
Khons: need help moving him? ShiningAster: staying here. fell asleep on me, he has nightmares. also touched starved. might be less bastard if he gets good sleep
It’s only a little bit of a lie. Technically, none of that was wrong, but the implication was that Daz wasn’t strongarmed into accepting.
RaineStorm: yeah his nightmares are BAD and music only kinda helps.
ShiningAster: I think I can fix it. saying more will make him pissy
Khons: well if he’s not in trouble and staying there we’re going to bed
ShiningAster: night
RaineStorm: gn
RaineStorm: it’s gonna be really funny seeing him fall for you ngl
ShiningAster: its gonna be weird as fuck for me
After a moment, he switches to DMs.
ShiningAster: at some point we have a kid. Not adopted I think. looks just like him. her name is Azira. means rising star.
RaineStorm: WHAT THE FUCK??????
ShiningAster: also he made a deal to help with Innits body for seeing the same shit I do. but for me obviously
RaineStorm: oh my god that stupid asshole
RaineStorm: maybe he’ll learn his lesson. bc you’re def good to him, I know you.
ShiningAster: hes capable of being good to me back. too busy being petty for now though
RaineStorm: yeahhhhhh. he’s def an acquired taste. but he really is a great guy when you get past his him-ness
ShiningAster: lol
RaineStorm: he figured out I’d want a heated tub, art studio, and a porch. it’s freaky tbh but it’s nice.
ShiningAster: sounds fake but ok
RaineStorm: you’ve never seen him be like that so it’s hard to picture but it’s true!
That’s not quite right; Aster has seen Daz be kind and generous to others…he’s just never been the target.
No, maybe that’s not fair. He’s dragged Aster to a place of being better in a way he never would have done on his own. Despite his attitude, it did still benefit Aster.
Granted, he’s also been an asshole on purpose for literal years, so. That kind of events out.
ShiningAster: honestly just want to eat his damn food without being drugged
RaineStorm: something something the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
ShiningAster: it sucks so bad to play chicken on if Ill suffer when I touch his cooking
ShiningAster: usually its worth it. at least until whatever he put in it hits
RaineStorm: and now we know why
ShiningAster: maybe therapy will fix him
RaineStorm: ngl I think not thinking he’ll kill anyone he loves will do wonders on its own
RaineStorm: but therapy will help too probably
ShiningAster: cant say much for obvious reasons but hes fundamentally broken. has been for most of his life.
ShiningAster: but Id never have a kid if he didnt seem in a good place. so whatever he does works
RaineStorm: have you considered it might be the power of love
ShiningAster: fuck you
RaineStorm: I’m serious!! think about it, he’s spent like 4 years thinking being loved will get that person killed
RaineStorm: he might have divine confirmation but he’s stubborn. might not feel real
RaineStorm: soooo someone who loves him despite his bullshit might be the thing that makes him be less…yknow
Ah, another reminder of how deeply fucked up Daz actually is.
ShiningAster: could be having someone who knows his secrets or even just Innit being out
RaineStorm: remind it that it needs a new name btw. too close to existing ones
RaineStorm: but yeah that probably helps too
RaineStorm: I feel awful I never noticed he was so…unwell
ShiningAster: hes good at hiding what he wants to hide. cant blame yourself when hes a master manipulator.
Said master manipulator mumbles into Aster’s chest, voice small, “I missed you.”
And, fuck, something in his chest feels like it cracks when Aster realizes what and who Daz must be dreaming about.
There’s nobody it could be but his former mentor. The person who gave him everything he ever wanted…and then committed an unspeakable sin against him.
Clearly, Daz still misses him. Despite what Dream had done to him, a part of him still misses the person who crushed him infinitely worse than anyone before him.
Despite only getting brief glimpses of that time, Aster gets the impression that Dream had been someone whose preciousness went beyond words.
Yet Daz couldn’t stomach letting him have his way after what he did. He rejected a place as a near-god beside someone who, despite the sickness in his soul, was devoted to him to a disturbing degree.
That…takes a strength of will that Aster isn’t completely sure he could match.
Fuck, nor does the decision to use the lethally broken enchantment as a backup plan.
If the rest of the server had failed to kill him, Daz would have chosen a death so agonizing that it chills Aster to his core.
It’s not hard to see why Daz is so…himself, honestly. Aster might not be able to think like him, nor agree with his actions, but in a fucked up way he can follow most of the logic now that he has the pieces.
He swallows as Daz’s voice wavers and cracks. “You said you’d protect me, so why…”
Aster adjusts his arms to a more comfortable positon, and messes with his hair more. “I’m not him, Daz. You’re not Tommy any more. Dream was sick– you know that.”
Horrifyingly, Daz starts shaking as he cries.
He rushes to add, “But– but you can have something new. Fuck, if you can be even halfway decent, I’d fall for you pretty damn quick. You can be charming, you know? And– and pretty romantic. It was– maybe it wouldn’t be awful. If you just stopped being such a bastard–”
At a loss for what else to do, he cuts himself off and starts humming.
Eventually, Daz slips back into deeper sleep.
But the memory of this unsettlingly fragile side of him will remain in the back of Aster’s head. Even when Daz is being the biggest bastard he can be…Aster knows he’ll remember this.
#chronotag#shiningaster#dazzlingvoid#Aster has COMPLICATED FEELINGS about this!!#on one hand he still has a lot of resentment and anger bc of Daz's actions#on the other like--#Daz is shockingly vulnerable in this scene. it's not something Aster has seen of him y'know?#trauma is dealt with with snarling anger and seething hatred#not crying. not asking 'why' in such a broken voice.#so yeah. Aster is like-- 'fuck I kind of see what future me sees in him#he's stronger and weaker than I ever imagined#and maybe since I already know that I'll fall for him anyway it's....okay? to feel something here???#let's start with pity. I'll begin there and see if he fucks it up.'#also yeah Raine is like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU TWO HAVE A KID#he's having a little crisis at home lmao#'there's no fucking way I'm not one of multiple godfathers. is it me Theo Lee??? (yes)#do I. do I start figuring out baby shit now. how quick does this happen. there's like 9 months at least right?#I can start when they bring it up probably. but also this is DAZ AND ASTER'S KID#gods help that poor kid. what do you need to babyproof a house actually that's something innocent I can research'#esp after Aster stops replying he's just left to deal with his ?????????????????? about it all LMAO#like granted he's also proud that Daz is letting Aster help him sleep. Daz rejects most kinds of touch in blackout rooms#but especially anything that lasts a long time#this is a HUGE deal for both of them and Raine (as their mutual bestie) is like YEAHHHHH GO ENEMIES TO LOVERS ARC#Raine def has THOUGHTS about all this btw. if anyone cares.
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oh shit yeah grimm and yarrow are exes to lovers huh
#tbf i don't rly think of my writing in tropes. even then exes to lovers doesn't cross my mind as often as friends- or enemies- to lovers#as in it's like. slightly less common? idfk i don't pay all that much attention to that. it's also not a trope i inherently jump at as#someone who personally does not find the thought of getting back with an ex remotely appealing#however. when my characters are stupid about these things...#i think it didn't cross my mind bc they don't. formally break up so i kinda forgot they're technically exes at the beginning of p2#it's like 'i need to fucking book it bc i killed a guy and his guys want my head for that but i'll come back [doesn't do that for. five#years and mostly comes back bc they're out of options]' not 'it's fucking over' yknow?#their relationship by the end of p1 is kind of funky though. it's absolutely romantic in nature but grimm is. kind of a mess bc it's got#this tension of wanting to simultaneously get close to someone and not let them in so the two of them actually don't get all that far?#they're both too afraid to have sex about it that's for sure#i'm not even sure what they call their relationship at that point either. for grimm's sake i don't think they'd really call it anything#in essence it ends with a lot of broken promises that weren't quite promises yknow?#if grimm hadn't booked it i think eventually the two of them might've sorted out their shit but also there's a v high chance grimm would've#fucked things over for good. actually now that i think about it they probably would have run off at some other point#i also think it's important for yarrow's development that grimm fucked off. gotta add some bitterness to that mixture there#you see the five years between p1 and p2 are essential for character development. they gotta marinate in who the fuck they are#make themselves a bit better. make themselves a bit worse. date someone else for a year or so. as it goes#i'm fully rambling here but. what the fuck ever that's what this blog is for#at all times i want to talk about my characters. i only occasionally find a way to make it into a post#grimmyarrow
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Vermithor and Silverwing are the only real examples we have of dragons that actively had a bond with each other.
#tbd#Idk I just feel like special things we see in certain dragons can't just be applied to every dragon#i think yeah something something representative of jaehaerys and alysanne's love but after all the shit he pulled...#it's also that#vermithor and silverwing were hatched together bc their eggs were placed in (1) one cradle jaehaerys's & alyssane's#so entirely plausible that they're the only actual pairbonded dragons we see#bc of how they were raised#their bond prevailed even after their riders passed#& i'm not even talking about how silverwing mourned vermithor bc i'll leave it out for gyldayn seeing it as a myth#vermithor and silverwing coiled with each other#silverwing was a docile dragon#she became violent after vermithor died and eventually wild#and you don't see that with other dragons#it can't be replicated with other riders just bc their dragons may have not always been enemies.#which is to say unfortunately at the end of the day vhagar does not give a single fuck about mele ys or even sunfyre#& those two never had a relationship with her either so i doubt it was a top ten anime betrayal for the dragons themselves#that dragon-dragon bond seems only unique to vermithor and silverwing so far#insert [do not separate them] meme#Vermithor#Silverwing#Vermithor x Silverwing#Fire and Blood#hotd spoilers#(just in case its book stuff but y'know)
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hung out with guy friend today, this mf was like "this is gonna be the year you get fired from xxx"
LIKE EXCUSE ME!?
#omg this man#like last time we hung out he was like “oh yeah these people def hated you”#now he tells me that i'm gonna get fired from my job this year...#not to mention he had the audacity to fucking try and tell me shit for stuff he wasn't even apart of or present for at the time#LIKE WHAT IS THIS MAN ON#negative feedback loop friendships my biggest enemy
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got blasphemous because religious guilt in art is like catnip to me, but the atmosphere stresses me out so much i actually picked hollow knight back up (a game that also used to stress me out a lot) in order to scratch that itch and, at long last, managed to defeat hornet a second time
#rita rants#it's not even that hollow knight is easier exactly but i'm more used to the controls#also i don't have to fucking parry in that game#i hate that mechanic in games because i'm shit at timing it right!!#also unlike in hollow knight blasphemous gives you a limited number of heals#and i. resident coward. hate walking into places without a robust health bar#but i can't backtrack because every time you save enemies respawn#and so the only way out is through#but that shit's SCARY#i'm slowly crawling my way to the second boss (i think) but i can only play the game in short bursts before i stress myself out#why don't you play another game? you might ask#and to that i answer: catholic guilt. in a videogame. spanish developers. that's all
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you know, i appreciate the work Susan Sontag has done for people appreciating Camp and stuff but i feel like if you are still using Susan Sontag as the authority on Camp in the year of your lord 2023, using notes that were written in 1964, as if the landscape of art and our relationship to art hasn't fundamentally changed since then,,, it's like, you need to catch up babes, a lot of those points are still really relevant, i'm not saying throw it out, but like update your understandings of Camp beyond that one authoritative text that's at this point almost 60 fucking years old. Susan Sontag is not the fundamental authority on what art today is or would be considered Campy, build off of those basics, please dear gods, evolve your understanding of what Campy art today actually looks like rather than trying to apply a prescriptive label from a text that can kinda boil down to 'Camp is whatever you feel like, and you'll know it when you see it because it won't be like traditional art' because the attempt to define it is so wide, calling every non-traditional piece of art campy is fucking pointless and not how anyone is obviously using the fucking label, people are very deliberately talking about one specific feeling they get from the piece of art, and it's got very little to do with aesthetics, at least as far as TV shows are concerned (movies are a different conversation), and much more about presentation and tone and intended effects and what the whole fucking point of the piece of art actually is, which is a lot more than what is afforded to most things considered Campy, like 90% of the shit people call campy at this point is just called campy and then it's left there, because it's a "oh you can't say anything about it because it's campy" like at this point it almost functions as a conversation ender because anyone you're talking to about any aspect can just go "yeah that's meant to be that way, it's campy" and it's like. okay, where do we go from here? should the piece of art not be analyzed as a work of art? does it not deserve to be evaluated in good faith and treated like any other piece of art? i understand the urge to defend the use of the term, as like "oh we're using it because people are misunderstanding art and what it's trying to be", and as a Riverdale-truther (as in genuinely love it as a piece of art and what it says and does, it's not fucking campy i swear to god, none of you fucking know what pulp art is!), and as a TASM2 truther (best Spidey movie after ITSV, and definitely best general movie after ITSV, and i don't care what your opinion is) i understand the urge to want to defend it as camp, but like, what's the piece of art actually doing and trying to say, what are the deeper layers at play? or are you really just satisfied saying something is Campy and stopping your analysis of the piece of art there? is your soul really okay correcting someone's interpretation of a show and saying it's campy and not doing anything beyond that? what does it being campy actually change? what the fuck does it actually do for the piece of art, if the piece of art is even campy at all?
#yes i am in fact Riverdale-posting bc i saw a video essay calling Riverdale campy and talking about Susan.#james talks#anyone that tries to say 'Riverdale is good because it's bad' or 'Riverdale is supposed to be bad' is my mortal enemy actually#james rambles#DON'T READ THIS I JUST NEEDED TO GET THE THOUGHTS OUT#yes i am in fact aware i am using camp as a prescriptive label when i say don't call Riverdale campy. you're so smart. thanks for noticing!#if the implication wasn't fucking clear my point is that saying it's campy and meant to just be entertaining is doing a huge disservice—#to the actual piece of art and treating it like it's not actually trying to say and be something.#you don't have to drag people over to your side inch by inch to open their eyes! just spill your perspectives onto the floor!#the world will catch up with you someday!#you don't have to do the work of getting people to see something as campy to try to get them to see the show through a different light!#it's not even efficient bc like i said it just becomes a conversation ender bc the implication is that the analysis is inherently wrong—#because it's misunderstanding the intent in why some part of something is the way it is but like! you don't have to waste your energy—#trying to correct people (don't even try it. i am in fact deeply self aware.)!#spend more of your time trying to explain why you think it's good instead of complaining about how nobody else fucking gets it.#i get that you want more people to see what you see but that doesn't come from trying to inch them over the line bit by bit!#it comes from explaining your view and understanding of the show!#you don't have to try to convince them it's campy! just actually analyze the fucking piece of art & the people interested will flock to it!#also it's been years since i've actually read notes on camp so it's likely i've got some shit wrong bc i'm not fact-checking this rant.#but like the point isn't even really about the text but how other people use it.#and yes i'm aware this sounds inherently contradictory and incoherent. thank you for noticing. welcome to human existence.#to quote (paraphrase) Vivian Strange tho: if it exists it deserves to be analyzed.#treat every piece of art like it's worthy of analysis and respect and this goes from your fucking godfathers to your sharknados.#it goes from your fucking shawshanks to your mamma mia! to your Riverdale to your PLL to your euphoria to your whatever#anyway just really exhausting to hear people say something is Campy or meant to be bad or whatever and just stopping the convo there.#like what now girlie? where do we fucking go from here? do you have anything meaningful to contribute?
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Can people stop the "Don't call yourself a feminist if-" crap? Y'all still believe in the blatant lies of that movement and ideology?
#txt#that shit has been shady from day one even if some of the people involved throughout the years had good intentions#i'm sorry but women need to stop thinking this movement has ever been for them. it wasn't even created by women#also christ is literally there. you don't need that movement. christianity did that a looong time ago#“yeah but society was still patri-” shut the hell up with that. i don't want to hear it. y'all have no idea what a patriarchy is anymore#it's just evil men working together to keep women down. the world has never quite worked like that. are y'all this retarded?????#y'all are out here painting shit like a goddamn classic disney villain#the world and human civilization are incredibly complex multidimensional and gray. this isn't a black and white bs#this is the fucking problem with tumblr and people as a whole. nothing is balanced. it's either one extreme or the other#we humans tend to jump to extremes even though things are far more nuanced and complex#we live in a fallen world. this world is unfair but there's a chance at redemption#we can all be better#the problem with this ideology is that they always try to paint men as the natural enemies of women#it's the oppressor and oppressed dynamic#one is evil and the other one is good#this is a very black and white way of looking at humanity and it removes the humanity from both#i hate it because it heavily implies that women have no agency and shit just happens to them basically. nothing they do has an effect. it's#always someone else doing it. like y'all do realize women are the other half of humanity right????? you can't maintain a society without the#other#you'd have to be INSANE to subscribe to this kind of ideology
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There is no place for me anywhere at all
#i try to make myself important and construct the life i was meant to have but to no avail#I'm never actually there just looking in and pretending#shits rough#i have nowhere to go#i have nowhere to be#whether I'm around or not makes no difference#it all ends up the same#personal#my thoughts#hella depressed#just want somewhere to call home#mental illness#I'm my own worst enemy#it's lonely out here#odd one out#unimportant#late night thoughts#real fucking sad#feeling sorry for myself#it won't get better#at least as far as I've experienced#I'm so tired
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