The Inevitable End of Year Awards, 2022 Edition
It would be fair to say that 2022 got off to a flatulent yet anaemic start back in Ye Olde January and has since sign-waved between extremes of joyless and joyful like a sherry-addled schizophrenic telling you his life story at a Xmas party that just won’t fucking end, finally ending on a weirdly positive note. So, with that in mind and before the New Year bursts all over us like a faulty condom, let us roll up our sleeves and ferret through the detritus of the year in the hope of finding the purest diamonds and filthiest sludge-nuggets, so we can drape medals about them and call it an awards ceremony. Let’s rock and roll, fuckeroos!
The Feyd-Rautha Award for Having One Job and Not Fucking Doing It…
… Goes to Vladimir Putin, who gave himself the job of conquering the Ukraine and, despite having the military resources of an immense, wealthy country, a police state and a fully-subjugated media at his disposal, failed miserably. The war in Ukraine continues with no sign of Russia actually achieving anything. A bit’s been annexed- sort of- but Ukraine remains resolute and it’s highly probably that Russia’s ailing dictator will die before completing the job that he obviously intended to be his legacy. The stupid fucking twat.
The Suspicious Package that’s Actually a Present Award for Nicest Surprise…
… Goes to the film Bullet Train, which looked like nothing more than a good laugh from the adverts but turned out to be a legitimately perfect film, utterly flawless in narrative construction and characterisation… that also happened to be a really good laugh. Any film that has Brad Pitt singing the praises of fate and smart toilets while two hit men bicker about Thomas the Tank Engine has got to be worth the price of admission… and maybe a little dance.
The Patrick Stewart Painting a Naked Beethoven Award for Special Services to High Culture…
… Goes to another film, The Northman, which dared to ask ‘what if Hamlet and Beowulf were the same person’. It was a beautiful, meditative experience that reflected on the intersection between heroism and madness in pre-modern mythology… that also found time for fart jokes with Willem Dafoe and a big, epic sword-fight in front of an exploding volcano. I swear this is a real movie. I didn’t just neck a load of tramadol and hallucinate it while staring at an ant-farm. Go on, Google it. It’s real!
The Suspiciously Abrupt Bathroom Break Award for Shortest Tenure…
Goes to spittle-spraying, plate-faced, xenophobic freak, Liz Truss, who clawed her way to the position of Tory Prime Minister but lasted about as long as a fast-food restaurant called Jimmy’s Shit and Chip Salmonella Palace. She was promptly replaced by a urinary condition in a suit who somehow contrived to be worse than her, despite the fact that that should have been physically impossible.
The Joker Shooting a Chat-Show Host Dead Award for Most Satisfying Moment…
… Goes to the Doctor’s regeneration into previous, beloved Doctor Who star David Tennant shortly after the announcement that previous, beloved show-runner Russel T. Davis was being brought back to write and run the show again. The BBC is constitutionally capable of just saying ‘sorry, we fucked up’, but this does read as the closest possible equivalent. After a painfully ill-advised gender-flip, some lore-wrecking bullshit, an episode where the Doctor shilled for an evil mega-corp and a long-winded, multi-episode trudge through the colourful world of queer-baiting, the BBC seems to have finally realised that the last few years were a mistake. Will this lesson stay learned? Probably not. We’re talking about people who keep making the same crime drama every year and just calling it different names. Object permanence is not the Beeb’s strong-suit… but it’s still incredibly, viscerally satisfying to see a blustering, half-witted, incestuous institution forced into a U-turn, however temporary it might later end up being.
The Pluggity McPlugface Award for Best New Work of Fiction…
… Goes to Enlightenment for All!, a brand new short story published by left-wing magazine Culture Matters and available to download for free, right now. Taking place across 20,000 years and charting a multi-generational effort to uncover the secret of enlightenment itself, it’s already being hailed as an important work of outsider ‘gypsy futurism’ by a certain internationally-respected poet WHO I AM IN NO WAY ADMITTING BEING RELATED TO. Oh, did I not mention? I’m the author! I wrote it! I am a proper published author, and this one story is set to be followed by a whole book in the New Year! Take a moment to let that sink in: I have a story available through one of Britain’s leading leftist magazines and a book of short stories slated to come out through the same soon. Once again: for all the squalidness of modern society, my life is fucking awesome.
The Garth Meringue Award for Abject Terror…
… Goes to Smile, which- like Bullet Train- is a fucking perfect movie… albeit measured by a different metric. In this case, the metric for success is the number of ruined trousers associated with the media artefact’s existence, which has got to be well into the millions by now. This is neither the time nor place for a review, but Smile terrified me in a way that few films every have. Its capacity to induce fear is truly awe-inspiring… as its related capacity to ruin trousers.
The Special Award for Taking the Piss Like a Fucking Sewer System…
… Goes to the recent rises in gas and electric prices. The UK’s price rises are among the highest on the European continent, because the people in charge of this country’s energy policies are craven, witless morons who have cheerfully privatised the energy sector while failing to arrange alternate sources of power at the state level. As a result, heating a home is now a slightly more expensive endeavour than just fucking off and starting a new life... ON THE MOON!
The Beige Flake in an Unflavoured Ice-Cream Award for Existing…
… Goes to tepid new Marvel telly-show, She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, which has a fucking amazing title and contains one of Marvel Comics’ most beloved female characters… yet arrived to the resounding sound of ‘meh’. I never watched it myself, but I feel comfortable including it in my end of year round-up because, er, neither did anyone else. Why? Well, a combination of dodgy effects, formulaic episodes and one scene in which poor old Bruce Banner gets an ear-bashing from the title character that the fans just weren’t standing for. And that’s it: something that should have been a hilarious, weird odyssey through Marvel’s lesser-known catalogue arrived ended up making almost zero impression on the shape of popular culture. Pity really- but something from Marvel making so little impression is actually, weirdly impressive in itself. If they reverse-engineer the properties that made it so forgettable, they could render them down to a paint and use it disguise fucking military aircraft carriers.
The Salvador Dali Riding a Neon Zebra Through a Sky Made of Pancakes Award for Sheer Fucking Weirdness…
… Goes to Everything Everywhere All at Once, a pseudo-comedy about the multiverse, divergent timelines, dildos, pinatas, family drama, rocks with googly eyes and putting everything on a bagel so that it collapses in on itself and becomes a reality-consuming singularity. It’s a great movie with a brilliantly talented actress and comedian in the leading roll. I realise I’ve done a lot of media mentions in this end of year round-up, but I feel like it’s important to praise films like this. If we don’t shine a light on quality, we end up with dreck. Good, original films and telly are rare, especially in a world where everything is a copy of some pre-existing IP, transcribed and adjusted and mutated until its no longer recognisable as itself. We live in a world where Jeff Bezos can buy the right to Lord of the Rings lore just so he can wipe his bald, pointless cock on it and where all of pop culture is dominated by a single, soulless corporation. When smaller creators with original ideas do something great, we should shine a light on it. So I am. Well done this film.
The ‘What, Really?’ Award for Unexpected Good News…
… Goes to the news that James Gunn is going to be put in charge of the DC cinematic universe, which is unexpected and good- the two criteria for shockingly underwhelming award.
The Wonderful Fucking Timing Award…
… Is the last award of the entry and goes to my car- or former car- which chose the week before Xmas to break down irreparably, leaking oil, petrol and water all at the same time while the engine misfired systematically. I loved that old motor, but its timing was always somewhat on the spectacular side. And so we end our awards ceremony on a personal and profoundly trivial note. So it goes.
And that was 2022. It averaged out to be pretty okay and now its ending to make way for 2023, which promises to be the latest in a long line of years. Until then (and the inevitable New Years Resolutions blog), bye.
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Best 23 of BL 2023 - Quirky Awards
SHOCK & AWE AWARDS
1. Biggest BL surprise of 2023:
The last 3 months of 2023 in general got my biggest WTF award.
GMMTV fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter while also airing Last Twilight (arguably one of their best BLs ever)
That they ALSO optioned 3 JBLs
That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel
That there were 20 BLs airing and none of them Korean.
With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year
But my prize in this category goes to My Dear Gangster Oppa.
It's just crazy:
Thai talent, Korean money + IP (this is adapted from a manwha) airing on a Chinese channel (iQIYI). Plus it was GOOD and made smart reuse of a pair who richly deserved it. I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production. And wonder if any other film genre could even do anything like this.
2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:
The 8th Sense from Korea?!
I mean, seriously?! Dealing with metal health, suicide, darkness, therapy, age gap, & first time love BUT FROM KOREA? And then openness and casual boyfriend physical affection? What's next? An actual hard fought coming out narrative with an HEA? Gay domesticity and families?
Careful Korea, you'll strain something. Possibly your own culture and film industry.
I should stop having expectations of Korea, they keep surprising me.
Runners up: Korea letting OnlyOneOf do Bump Up Business not to mention that OmegaX thing. AND Korea adapting Why R U? What are you up to, Korea? Qua? Is this a coded message? Should we send help? Do you need snacks?
3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:
GeminiFourth in My School President.
Seriously? Babies what? How did GMMTV find you? How do you exist? How is BL this lucky?
4. That studio did WHAT now? award:
GMMTV putting EarthMix into Moonlight Chicken.
And then doubling down with G4 as the damn sides.
Fucking genius.
5. I’m sad you were ignored award:
Destiny Seeker.
It's just a really fun little Thai pulp, the pairs were good, silly dialogue, plus consent and other good rep. I enjoyed it. No one talked about it AT ALL.
6. 2023 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?
Laws of Attraction. -The casting, the crazy story, the soapy drama! But specifically: Film playing Charn - the range of his smiles alone. GLORIOUS
I mean I Feel You Linger in the Air also sparked something in me, but LoA drove me actually nuts.
NARRATIVE AWARDS
7. Best story 2023:
La Pluie
I know, you're surprised, right? At the time I didn't chat much about it but I really enjoyed the discourse others were having. I love anything that really examines the fated mates (soulmates) trope and the idea of "the one". What a clever way to do that. (This is one reason UWMA is my favorite Thai BL.)
This one reminded me of the way Color Rush approached allegory and that's no bad thing. Such an impressive little piece.
8. Best narrative structure 2023 award:
Unintentional Love Story.
I know this may seem a simplistic pick. But I love the tidiness of this no frills contemporary romance, how the culture of work and personal ethics and corruption fight against the main character's affection and integrity. Poor baby boy is driven into a corner and then punished for it. But it is punishment he feels he deserves, and so it is up to his (now) ex to figure out what went wrong and why.
It's just great. I love it when no one is stupid or wrong, it's just impossible circumstances and unintentional love deeply felt.
9. Best 2023 dialogue (script) award:
Jun & Jun
Never before has Korea laced a BL with that much perfectly executed innuendo. It was a master class. I didn't know you could be that lascivious in Korean, quite frankly. Plus the way the 2 Juns constantly seamlessly transition between formal register (work, public - where they are boss/employee) to informal register (when they are alone and age mates + childhood sweethearts).
Beautiful to hear and watch.
10. Favorite scene 2023:
The dub con scene in I Cannot Reach You because I AM TRASH for an out of control seme. I'm sorry I just AM.
I have said it before, I will say it again, NO ONE DOES THIRST like Japan. And when that thirst bubbles over, it is heart-clenching and very hot.
11. The most rewatchable BL of 2023 award:
Our Dating Sim
That scene where they lie on the floor + the stolen kiss + giggle? Come on, it should be on comfort repeat in war rooms. It could bring world peace.
ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS
12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role, 2023:
Fluke in Make a Wish.
It was fun to see him as an irreverent immortal and while I love OhmFluke I also really enjoyed this new pairing. It was a genuine pleasure to watch.
13. Best pining 2023:
The moot pining in Tokyo in April is...
Boys, seriously? Japan must you destroy us like this? Hurts so good.
14. Best wingman 2023 (The Namgoong Award)
Tiw from My School President
I mean, come on, of course it's him!
(Also can you believe Mark went on from this to do fricking Only Friends!? To Last Twilight! Come on GMMTV GIVE HIM A LEAD!)
15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!
Dimpled McMafia & Feral Bunny Foo Foo from Kiseki Dear to Me.
They were feral for each other.
We were feral for them
It was a whole delightful THING.
16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:
The Private Lessons pair showing up in Love Class 2.
I know it was only a cameo, but SERIOUSLY? Thank you SO MUCH Korea! A big studio picking up a Strongberry pairing? I love you.
Seriously tho between them, Taiwan & Korea tried for ALL THE CAMEOS this year.
17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:
NetJames in Bed Friend.
Need I say more?
18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Bah Vinh in Vian & Mr Cinderella 2. I did like either show but I loved him in them. Especially the make outs.
Yes you have chemistry with all the boys in Vietnam and you kiss beautifully.
But it's okay now honey, you have the crown.
Relax, you're stressing us out.
RANDOM PICKS
19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2023:
Our Dating Sim
Caught in the act by the elevator scene. OMG it's so funny. They're being such boyfriend shits to each other, and to be caught in the act by THAT character, and try to manifest formal language whole cloth? Hilarious.
Honorable mention to War Peanuts in Destiny Seeker.
20. Biggest disappointment of 2023:
You Are Mine
Seriously Taiwan, AGAIN you disappoint me with an Office BL? You're Taiwan, land of offices and suits. This should be YOUR SETTING TO WIN. And yet... argh. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Stop it Taiwan, do better.
Runners up? Between Us, Chains of Heart, Dangerous Romance - this was a HOTLY contested category.
+ 2 Winners in the sub-category of FUCK YOU FOR THAT ENDING award:
The Director who Buys Me Dinner - I mean this nicely but: you have your lane now Korea, stop hurting us, that's Japan's responsibility and they do it better.
I Feel You Linger In the Air - I'm just hugely disappointed. Thailand ALMOST got its second 10/10 from me, but that damn ending.
Argh.
21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023
The shower of packaged bedsheets in My Personal Weatherman
Amazing.
Brilliant.
No notes.
22. Best Queer Rep 2023
Chot in Step By Step
In fact, all the queer characters in this show were treated with great integrity.
AND props to this cast for refusing to do fan service. GOOD FOR YOU! Fuck those sasang wankers.
Runners up? The found family cast of Love in Translation and the Rainbow Rice Cakes in The New Employee.
23. Best Meta Trope call out
Tin Tem Jai
Come on, what a zinger, but at themselves (and Taiwan)
Final question: which of the 23 was the hardest for me to pick?
Honestly? Question #1 this year.
But also question #20.
(Last year: 2022's Version)
Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2023. Or The Sign probably would have taken multiple categories. But it will fall into 2024 offerings.
(source)
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Notes from the ep 15 sex scene after my 10th rewatch 👩🏫👩⚕️👩💻👩🔬
hongjo giggling in the doorway and acting all shy like sweety YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO HIM
the way he went from cute and clumsy to AMBUSHING HER 👁👄👁
for a giraffe he's quite wolfish in his table manners 😏😏
PINNED AGAINST THE WALL, GOD IS GOOD
WHY WAS THAT CURSED LIGHT SWITCH RIGHT THERE
[wet kissing noises]
THOSE 6'2/187CMs ENGULFING HER
he started unbuttoning her almost immediately, (the shirt DOES look better on the floor, shinyu, u ARE absolutely correct)
the horny-cute gasp of "wait a minute [we should do it on the dresser, follow me"] WE LOVE A WOMAN WHO SHOWS INITIATIVE
the way hongjo backed up against the dresser and shinyu followed her like she was his preyyy
she was smiling but he was on a MISSION TO GET BETWEEN THEM THIGHS
he lifted her up on the dresser like it was nothing 🥵🥵🥵
hooded eyes, jaw clenched, heavy breathing 🌶🌶🌶🌶 10/10
they both looked like they were just lost in the sounds and sensations like literally blissfully unaware of anything outside that room
god bless u and your hard work in the gym, rowoon, is that a 12-pack (thanks for zooming in on the ahem scar camera crew)
the way they cooperated in stripping shinyu's shirt off him, TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK
his hands doing SOMETHING outside of the frame whatttt are they doingggg
him kissing her hard and pushing her down 😌😌🙌🥂
shinyu's big hand flexing on hongjo's thigh and calf like YES SIR, GRAB IT
hongjo grasping two fistfuls of his hair to keep him where she wanted him YES QUEEN
him helping her wrap her legs around him 🥵🥵🥵🍿🍿🍿🍷🍷
the final shot of hongjo's shirt slipping off her shoulders and him moving on top of her in a pose not dissimilar to dracula and mina's in that One Scene in the garden in bram stoker's dracula
they were feraaalll
no for real he might actually be part beast
no wonder because shinyu/mujin waited 300+ years to Do That
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Random 2023 BL Awards I made up
Best use of music in a BL:
I was going to just blanket statement say Only Friends, and then I was thinking, wait, was anything more touching than Khaotung sobbing his way through "The Moon Represents My Heart" in Moonlight Chicken...and then I decided that the best use of music was the use of Conan Gray's "The Story" in The Eighth Sense. It was an absolute banger of a use of diegetic music, and every time I hear the song now I think about that absolute monster kiss.
Best Boys and I don't mean acting (no arguments taken):
Ohm Pawat. Mix Sahaphap. Book Kasidet. Boss Chaikamon. Khaotung Thanawat. Barcode Tinnasit.
My personal Blorbos:
Force Jiratchapong. Jisub Lim. Off Jumpol. Boun Noppanut. Pond Naravit.
Please can they have a lead role?:
WinnySatang. Neo Trai. Fluke Pusit.
Soon to grace our screens again (HOORAY!):
BosstonJo. YinWar. ZeeNuNew. PondPhuwin. GeminiFourth. BossNoeul. BounPrem.
Shows that absolutely need to stick the landing in 2024:
Last Twilight. Cherry Magic TH. Pit Babe. The Sign. Twins.
MVP:
Mark Pakin. Obviously.
Thing I've spent the most time speculating about:
What IF Boun and Max Nattapol just did one little kiss in Red Peafowl? Just one! That's all I want. (That's a lie. I totally want more.)
The Bright Vachirawit and Win Metawin award for "wouldn't touch BL again with a ten-foot pole":
Nanon Korapat.
Best cameo:
OBVIOUSLY Kaiseki Dear to Me is one big excellent cameo, but my personal faves in that show are Aaron Lai and Hank Wang. Second place goes to Max Nattapol in Love Senior, the crappy little GL that I can't drop.
Best BL to music star:
Sorry to the GMMTV men but it's so clearly Jeff Satur. What a rockstar.
2022 BL I still rewatch constantly:
Love in the Air. Only the PayuRain story.
Fave OST from a BL (and I don't like many):
"Healing", from My School President.
Best Director:
Pace Jojo Tichakorn, it's gotta be Aof Noppharnach, still.
Number of old + new BLs I watched in 2023:
56, including My Dear Gangster Oppa and Bake Me Please, which will finish before January.
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