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tightjeansjavi · 11 days ago

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Et Auream - Act 1 : The Gladiator

A/N: well, here we are! :3 I started writing this chapter back in July, right after the trailer for gladiator ii dropped, and I have since then gutted it completely and rewrote it start to finish 😆 I have to give a HUGE thank you to @sinsofsummers for being one of my many cheerleaders and for betaing. I love you so much pookie 🫶🏻

word count: 3.2k

Summary: It’s been 5 years since the passing of the late emperor Septimius Severus, who was succeeded by his sons, Geta and Caracalla. General Octavius and his forces continue their campaign against the Caledonians, and Acacius, one of the most fierce gladiators that Rome has ever witnessed, feels nothing but bitter resentment towards the emperors.

Pairing | Marcus Acacius x f!oc

Warnings: canon typical violence, brutality, enslavement, domestic abuse, power imbalance, violent punishment, language, alcohol consumption, +18 minors dni! Please let me know if I missed anything.

series masterlist | playlist

Translations: Dominus - Master voluit vivere - he wanted to live Praetorian - bodyguard of a Roman emperor

THE COLOSSEUM - five years after the death of Emperor Septimius Severus April, 216 AD

The thunderous chants from the crowd echoed deafeningly in his eardrums. Steel bars that imprisoned gladiators from the spectators in the Colosseum shook wildly from the crescendo of voices shouting in unison; KILL! KILL! KILL!

A hush fell over the crowd at the emperor’s silent command of a raised hand and thumb leveled to the side.

A man’s life hung in the balance between two young emperors. Caracalla was the younger counterpart by two years to his brother, Geta, and mercy would be granted only if they felt it was earned. But in reality, it depended solely on their moods.

The games were nothing short of barbaric, and the people of Rome loved the thrill of a brutal fight. The suspense, the bloodshed and sacrifice. This was entertainment for the poor and rich, young and old would flock to the Colosseum to watch men, women, and beast fight to the brutal death.

Emperor Geta pointed his thumb downwards, signaling another life ending, and the crowd erupted in deafening applause.

Acacius chanted a silent prayer under his breath to grant the soul whose life had just been snuffed out, safe passage to the afterlife. He flipped his sword in his hand and awaited the gates to open once more.

Geta reclined back on his golden throne with a satisfied grin plastered on his face.

“I expected there to be more blood,” Caracalla muttered alongside him, a pout formed on his thin lips. “He should have been gutted, his innards should have fallen to the ground!” he groaned in disappointment.

“You and your obsession with gore,” Geta responded with a roll of his eyes at his brother’s complaining. He reached for his chalice and brought the rim to his lips, but before he could take a sip, he was stopped by one of his advisors looming at the entrance of the viewing platform.

Cassius, one of Geta’s trusted advisors and a member of the senate, bowed quickly and reached into his tunic and pulled out a sealed scroll; a letter from the general.

“Caesar,” his nasally tone grated Geta’s ears.

“Cassius,” he responded flatly.

“This just arrived. A letter from general Octavius,” Cassius informed him.

Geta carefully tore the ruby colored wax seal off and began to read the written scripture. He had only reached the first sentence when he noticed that Cassius’s presence was still lingering. He waved him off, his eyes stayed glued to the parchment. “You are dismissed.”

Cassius bowed once more and turned on his heel quickly, leaving Geta to read in peace.

“What news does our general bring us today?” Caracalla asked.

Caesar,

Our latest battle was successful, but I have lost a few hundred men, and I myself have been injured, but the medicus assured me that it is not grave. The Caledonians have retreated, but I fear this is only temporary. My age begins to show and my bones grow tired and weak. My men will not continue to follow me if they feel that I am unfit to lead them. Discuss with Caracalla in regard to finding a man worthy enough to succeed my position as general when my inevitable death arrives.

I wish you and your brother fair health and prosperity,

General Octavius

“Our recent battle against the Caledonians was successful, but we have lost a few hundred men. The general was wounded, but not gravely,” Geta recited with a sigh.

Caracalla scoffed and shook his head. “We should abandon the campaign entirely like I had suggested after Father died. We are wasting precious resources and able bodied men, and for what?”

“Abandoning the campaign would disappoint our late father greatly. We promised him that we would not cease our attack until the Caledonians are defeated, brother,” Geta said in a low tone.

“He is dead, Geta. What does a dead man care about a campaign that was a disaster from the start? And now with the general wounded, our soldiers could turn on us at any moment! They will become unpredictable and restless without a leader,” Caracalla seethed.

“General Octavius suggested that you and I find someone worthy to succeed him when he inevitably passes either from injury or old age. I have a man in mind for the position, but you will detest it I am certain.”

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of turning that gladiator scum into a general, brother. If anyone should succeed Octavius, it should be a worthy soldier in his ranks. Acacius is unworthy and unfit for the position,” Caracalla waved his wrist animatedly in disgust. Golden bangles that adorned his arms made a short, sharp, ringing sound from the sudden movement.

“And yet you love to watch him fight. He is one of our strongest and resilient gladiators. He is just as worthy as any soldier. The people love him, Caracalla. I intend to turn him into one of the greatest generals Rome has ever seen,” Geta countered swiftly.

“Of course I love to watch him fight!” Caracalla snapped. “He is one of the best that we have, but he will never be a general as long as I am still breathing.”

Before Geta had the chance to respond with something snarky, his attention was drawn to the start of the next fight.

The sun blinded Acacius’s vision as he stepped out into the arena when the gates were opened. The sun was scorching, and sweat already began to drip down the plane of his brow. His opponent was larger, broader than he was, but Acacius was swift, and able to recover in half the time. The crowd roared his name, stamped their feet and cheered at his entrance. His face was stoic, void of emotion to the wild chanting of his name.

His opponent, however, basked in their cheers like a preening peacock. A thirst for blood is what many of Acacius’s opponents experienced, but he was simply doing what he must do to survive another day. They thought that volunteering to be a gladiator would bring them riches and fame beyond their wildest dreams, until they would meet the cold kiss of his steel in their gut. Maybe he would feel the same swelling pride as they did if he had been given the option to volunteer.

The two gladiators walked to the middle of the arena and faced the viewing platform where the emperor’s and their subjects were seated. Their swords were brought to rest against the breastplate of their armor and they recited the words, “Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you!”

In another viewing box below the emperor’s, she was feeling the same level of disgust as Acacius was towards the brutality of the games. And like him, she was forced to participate by her Dominus, Cassius, who was enthralled by the games and even more-so when he knew that the sight of blood and violence nauseated her.

Her name was Aurelia; the golden one, although her life wasn’t very golden at all. She was Senator Cassius’s prized possession, his property till the day that she would inevitably die.

“If you keep your head hidden between your thighs any longer, you’ll miss the entire fight, Aurelia,” Cassius said condescendingly alongside her. His chalice of wine filled to the brim, and nearly spilled down the front of his tunic.

Aurelia bit down on the soft flesh of her inner cheek at his words. She gnawed on it until she tasted copper on her tongue. That is the whole point. Is what she wanted to say, but she remained silent in her distress.

Cassius rolled his eyes, not appreciating the way that she ignored him and he placed his hand around the back of her neck, his fingers slipped into the small space between the iron collar that was fit snug around her neck and tugged harshly, enough for her to wince from the uncomfortable tightness.

“I said,” he snarled against the shell of her ear, “you’ll miss the entire fight, my pet. It will please me if you watch. Do as your Dominus commands,” he released her neck from his unforgiving grip, finally. No one in close proximity to them batted an eye at the mistreatment she experienced.

Aurelia forced herself to watch the brutal fight. The sounds of steel clashing rang in her ears and from the viewing box, she could make out the details on one of the gladiator’s faces. His dark hair was cropped short and curled around the top of his ears. His skin, sun-kissed in gold, was littered with old and new scars traveling up the expanse of his arms.

She could not help but wonder how old he must have been when a sword was thrust into his hands and he was forced to kill another man and the emotional turmoil he must have felt after the adrenaline would inevitably wear off. She found herself gasping with the crowd when his opponent's blade grazed Acacius’s bicep, slicing the skin there just enough that beads of crimson wept through the laceration. Acacius gritted his teeth together, letting out a growl that was nothing short of animalistic and charged forward, his eyes set ablaze with determination.

Caracalla was seen smirking over the rim of his chalice. He was foolish to believe that a minor cut on Acacius’s arm was enough to deter him, but unlike his brother, Geta was locked into the fight. He leaned forward in his seat, his demeanor stiff and rigid.

The shield belonging to Acacius’s opponent was suddenly knocked from his grip, shattering from the sheer force of Acacius’s sword colliding with it. His opponent stumbled back, and dug his heels into the sand to keep himself upright, but without a shield to defend himself, he would have to rely on his strength alone.

Acacius flipped the hilt of his sword in his calloused palm and charged forward again with vigor. The sting from the cut along his bicep, and the dull ache in his shoulder drove him forward. He would not die today, this was certain.

Their swords met again and again until his opponent began to tire and Acacius went in for the kill, and with one swift kick to the abdomen, his opponent fell to the sand with a dull thud.

The crowd cheered, their fists raised towards the heavens as they chanted, “KILL! KILL! KILL!”

Geta rose from his seat and raised his hand above his head, and the crowd fell into a hushed silence at the sight of the emperor's thumb turning to the side.

Acacius could hear the blood that pounded in his ears as he stood towered over his fallen opponent. His brows were pinched together, his armored chest rose and fell rapidly from the energy he exerted.

His opponent awaited his fate, exhaustion written across his bloodstained face.

Acacius saw a boy when he looked into his opponent’s eyes. A frightened boy who isn’t yet ready to die, and he sees himself all those years ago. When the crowd erupted into cheers once more, Acacius did not need to see the Emperor’s hand to know what was being demanded of him. His fingers twitched around the hilt of his sword and he raised it above his head as if he were to bring it down upon his opponent for that final, devastating, fatal blow, but he stopped midway, and threw his sword to the side in defiance.

Aurelia’s eyes widened in shock. Out of every fight that she was forced to attend, never did she witness a gladiator defy an emperor’s demand so boldly. His defiance sent her pounding heart ablaze with a new sense of hope that she had not felt in ages. Acacius the merciful, they chanted.

“Kill him!” Caracalla cried out wildly in protest, his body lurched up from his throne. His shrill tone was like that of a child throwing a tantrum. The eldest emperor did not react, but Acacius could feel Geta’s harsh, disappointed glare burning holes into the back of his skull when he bent down and offered his hand to his fallen opponent who stared up at him in bewilderment.

“Take my hand,” Acacius whispered through the deafening cheers.

Carcalla leaned over to his brother and whispered, “what was that you said earlier about Acacius being worthy to succeed general Octavius?”

Geta could hear the grin appearing through his tone, but the eldest emperor gave no indication that he was unnerved by his brothers jabbing words, or Acacius’s defiance, except for the slight flare of his nostrils, and his left eye twitching, rimmed in darkened makeup.

The defeated opponent reached up with a grunt and clasped his hand around Acacius’s firmly. He lifted him from the ground with ease. When he looked up at the emperor’s viewing box, Geta was no longer standing there and looking down at him and a sinking feeling of dread for what was to come washed over him.

Aurelia watched the way he turned on his heel, his teeth gritted together in pain when his bad shoulder began to flare up and bother him. He subtly leaned his weight to his left side for some reprieve, though temporary. He did not reach down for his sword and walked past it in the direction of the open gates, disappearing behind them a moment later.

She paid no mind to Cassius muttering beside her about how blatant defiance should be punished and ‘rogues’ like Acacius should be terminated as quickly as possible.

Acacius was not even granted the luxury to even attempt to remove his armor when he heard the approach of many heavy footsteps through the corridor. He felt the sharp tip of a spear pierce the side of his neck, and before he had the chance to fight back, a hand harshly clasped down on his bad shoulder and the sudden, sharp pain that felt like a thousand knives were stabbing him at once, sent him falling to his knees.

Geta promenaded through his appointed guards and crouched down to Acacius’s level. His expression was placid, lacking emotion. Internally, he was furious, but he did a good enough job to hide it.

“Look at me, Acacius,” he said, his voice low and dangerously calm.

Acacius refused and he let out a sharp cry of agony when the Praetorian guard dug his fingers deeper into his shoulder and he finally drew his gaze from the ground and to the emperor’s hardened stare.

“Are you going to punish me?” he spat.

“No,” Geta said with a slight shake of his head.

“I defied you. I deserve to be punished, so fucking punish me,” he snarled through gritted teeth and the emperor couldn’t help but let his mask fall briefly. A smirk crossed over his lips.

“And do you believe that your deliberate display of defiance will shorten your servitude and grant you your freedom faster than the rest?” He gestured with his hand.

“No,” Acacius said grimly and his eyes lowered their gaze back to the floor.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you,” Geta demanded.

Acacius glared up at him, his brows were pinched together and his lips were set in a harsh line. “He didn’t deserve to die. He fought just as hard as I did. That is why I chose to spare his life.”

Geta chuckled at this. “And yet, your opponent is out there right now, boasting that he won. Do you think that he is grateful for your mercy?”

“I do not care if he boasts that he won. I saw the fear in his eyes, Geta. He did not want to die. voluit vivere.” (He wanted to live)

“Everyone wants to live, Acacius. But you cannot save every person from their predestined fate,” He sighed and stood up and dropped his hands behind his back. “Do you remember the day that we met?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I asked you what you desired most in this life, and you told me that all you wanted was to be a free man, Acacius. Caracalla believed that you wouldn’t defy the odds that were stacked against you. He claimed that you wouldn't survive your first fight, but you proved him wrong. You showed strength, bravery, and resilience. Your courage has not gone unnoticed, and it is most admirable. I can make you a free man, I can turn your life’s legacy into something great—beyond your wildest dreams, but I require your trust and loyalty.”

Acacius wanted nothing more than to laugh in his face, but he wouldn’t give Geta the satisfaction. Instead, he steeled his expression and despite the pain in his shoulder, he sat up straighter, his nostrils flared and his jaw clenched, “you will never gain my trust and loyalty for as long as I live.”

“I pity you, Acacius. You refuse to see the potential for greatness that you possess. Your hatred for Rome, and the man that tore you from your mother and the life you knew, into a life shackled in servitude, clouds your judgment. I granted you mercy five years ago. I could have casted you aside, let you fend in the streets like some feral beast till your spirit eventually fades, and still you refuse the hand that I am graciously offering you.”

“Mercy?!” Acacius barked out a strained laugh. “That’s what you believe that you granted me?! If you were merciful, you would have freed me! Instead, you have forced me to fight for your own entertainment. The games are a spectacle for the people of Rome. You bring them bloodshed and brutality and they love you for it.”

“They don’t just love me, Acacius. The people of Rome love you. Do you not feel a sense of pride when they chant your name? Acacius the great! Perhaps even the greatest gladiator that Rome has ever seen!” Geta exclaimed.

“I never wanted to be a gladiator. I never wanted to spend my life killing men who share the same circumstances as I. I-I wanted my life to be different. I don’t want greatness. I don’t desire wealth or materialistic pleasures,” He whispered solemnly and Geta imagined a boy, no older than thirteen, and already so broken when he looked at the man kneeling before him.

“Then I implore you to rethink your strategy to gain your freedom. Defy me all you choose, but if you continue down that route, you will either die in that arena, or rot in a cell till you inevitably die. The choice is yours, and for your sake, I hope you choose wisely. Nothing is permanent, Acacius. Remember that.”

“If the gods wish for me to die in the Colosseum, or bound in the chains that you put me in, so be it.”

Geta said nothing more, and he turned on his heel to walk away. His guards awaited his command, but he did not address them. That’s all Acacius could think about when the guards surrounding him took it upon themselves to punish him. His wrists and ankles were shackled in iron, and he didn’t make a sound, or flinch when the crack of a whip rang loudly in his ears as it was brought down against his back and shoulders. His already tarnished tunic had been ripped down the middle, exposing his scarred skin. The pain was soothing, in a morbid fashion. The feeling of his flesh being marred, and blood dripping from the open wounds should have caused him to cry in distress, but he took his punishment in complete and utter silence.

He did not give them the command.

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givemearmstopraywith · 1 year ago

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Joan of Arc study

Last year, I led a small digitial “retreat/study” on Joan of Arc via my Kofi- while my Kofi is no longer running (difficult to keep on top of because of other work obligations), I thought that in honour of her feast day I would make it publicly available. All of the text and resources used are under the cut- you can do this at your own pace, with one topic per week, or any other way you like. It’s to generate personal reflection on gender and one’s relationship to God, and is designed to be completely non-denomination, meaning that while it does use Bible readings, even if you are not a Catholic or a Christian, it should be able to stimulate some thought and reflection without having a definite religious slant.

The topics covered are:

Joan the Warrior

Joan the Androgyne

Joan the Prophet and Mystic

Joan the Disciple

Below the cut you’ll find all of the readings and bonus content for each topic, and at the end are “notes,” a short informal essay consolidating what I’m hoping to share through this study. But I highly encourage you to do your own reflection, be it through journalling, prayer, mediation, or whatever form of self-reflection suits you best, and try to decide what the readings- and Joan herself- says to you.

Ultimately, I hope what you’ll discover through this "retreat" is that our gender identity makes us warriors, prophets, mystics, and disciples- that existing between the binaries imposed on us by patriarchy allows us to draw closer to the strange and wonderful place where God exists.

WEEK 1: Exploring God and Gender with Joan of Arc- Joan the Warrior (readings)

This study pre-supposes that you already have some background on Jehanne and her life- nothing too in-depth, and we'll get into some of the finer points of her life that aren't as popularly known throughout this study. If you'd like more information, I highly recommend Helen Castor's biography and Regine Pernoud's Joan of Arc By Herself and Her Witnesses.

I've mentioned that this is a non-denominational study. What does this mean? Mainly it means that while scripture provides the backbone of a lot of our reading, I don't want us to treat scripture in a Christian context. Rather, I want to treat it primarily as a literary text, and rather than engaging with it as a "Bible study" or theological undertaking, I want to challenge us to read this without any preconceived notions of what it means in a religious context. Rather, read it the way you'd read a novel or short story. How does it make you feel? What themes, motifs, metaphors, allegories, or other literary techniques are employed? What is the text trying to say?

Read:

Judges 4-8: Deborah, Jael, and Gideon

Christine di Pizan's Joan of Arc

excerpts from Jehanne's trial: Joan's Tools

(If you want to read all of Jehanne's trial transcripts, you can do so here- I'll be providing more excerpts over the upcoming weeks, but we won't be reading it in full, so I highly encourage you to read the full transcript on your own if you'd like.)

Consider:

What tools does God give to Deborah and Gideon? Are those tools always weapons? Do they always require public acknowledgement, like Deborah’s tent peg? What tools has God given you? What similarities do you see between the Bible study and Joan? How does Christine di Pizan portray Jehanne in her poem? Is there a similarity between di Pizan's portrayal and the portrayal of the Biblical judges?

Extras:

have a listen of Veni Creator Spiritus- this Latin chant was said to have been sung before every battle by the French army when Jehanne arrived at Orléans on 29 April 1429, legend has it that a choir of priests went before her signing this hymn.

shameless self-plug of my own but much beloved Joan of Arc Spotify playlist

WEEK 2: Exploring God and Gender with Joan of Arc- Joan the Androgyne (readings)

Read:

Judith 8-9

Marina Warner's Joan of Arc: The Image of Female Heroism, Chapter 7: Ideal Androgyne

excerpt's from Jehanne's trial: Jehanne and her gender presentation

Consider:

Last week we considered the tools God gave figures like Jehanne, Gideon, and Deborah. How does Jehanne's gender function as a tool? How does Jehanne view her relationship to gender based on her testimony? How does the idea of her as an androgyne, as opposed to a warrior woman or girl, change your idea of her as a historic figure? How does Jehanne's gender presentation compare to that of Judith?

Extras:

If you haven't seen it already, Carl Dreyer's 1928 masterpiece The Passion of Joan of Arc is available to watch for free on Internet Archive. It is a fascinating, moving, and exceptional portrayal of Jehanne's trial, arguably the best, and it's lead actress Renee Falconetti beautifully captures the idea of Jehanne as the androgyne.

WEEK 2: Exploring God and Gender with Joan of Arc- Joan the Prophet and Mystic

Read:

the Book of Jonah

“Joan of Arc and Female Mysticism” by Anne Llewellyn Barstow

Joan of Arc and her voices

Consider:

Does Jehanne know she is a mystic, a saint, a prophet? What relationship is there between Jehanne's gender and her prophecy? Is Jehanne a true mystic? Why or why not?

WEEK 4: Joan the Disciple

Read:

Luke 8

2 Clement- all if you wish, or just Chapter 12

skim the complete transcript of Jehanne's trial, paying attention to the final day (starting at page 358)

Consider:

Pay special attention to Luke 8: 16-19. How does this apply to Jehanne? More specifically, how does this apply to how she presents her gender. Much criticism in her trial is centered on how she does or does not properly conform to gender. How do these verses, and those in 2 Clement, apply to Jehanne and her treatment by the church?

Bonus:

Jehanne's letters, which are a fascinating look at her voice

Mark Twain's Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc is free to read

Notes:

On April 30, 1429, Joan of Arc- who styled herself Jehanne la Pucelle, or Jehanne the maid- arrived at the French city of Orléans to free it from English control. Orléans had been under siege since October of the previous year: it's commander and French army were exhausted and contemplating surrender.

Enter Jehanne. The story is famous: aged sixteen, she heard the voices of saints and angels commanding her to free France from the English, lift the siege of Orléans, and crown the Dauphin. Remarkably, she succeeded, before being condemned to the stake for heresy by the Church. Her feast day in 30 May.

In our study about Jehanne, we've read portions of Judges. Judges cover a period in Israelite history prior to the establishment of the monarchy of which the famous Davidic monarchy was part. This is a period which roughly corresponds to the historic period 1400–1000 B.C., just after the settlement of Canaan after the Egyptian diaspora, when the Hebrew settlers were living among foreign, polytheistic tribes like the Philistines, who are a major antagonist throughout the narrative. Judges is considered one of the oldest books in the Hebrew bible, with the Song of Deborah- Judges 5- being one of the oldest portions. It documents a tumultuous and frequently violently history marked by agronomic destruction of a society attempting to rebuild after four centuries of indentured servitude to a foreign power, and a struggle to maintain the monotheistic practices which developed in the wake of their diaspora- the Levitical priesthood which we now know as Judaism.

There's a similarity between this era of Israelite history and that which would have been experienced by Jehanne at the time of her call. Jehanne was born in 1412 a working-class peasant girl from Domrémy in the Lorraine region of France. This location was almost directly on the border between French-held lands and those which had been invaded by the English during the course of the Hundred Years' War, which had already been going on since 1337. She was around thirteen years old when she first heard what she described as "voices," in 1425; it was the year that war is first documented to have begun directly affecting her home region, with raids by English or English-back French mercenaries taking place near Domrémy in 1425 and 1428. In once incident the village's cattle were stolen, and in another the town was set on fire and crops destroyed. It isn't difficult to see a similarity between what Jehanne may have felt about her circumstances and that of Gideon:

Gideon answered him, “But sir, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? (Judges 6:13)

In the midst of this, Jehanne experienced her first vision- in her father's garden, a voice she identified as Saint Michael the Archangel (a high-ranking angel figure known as the protector of the Jewish nation and later of Christians).

By 1428, Jehanne had apparently begun to formulate what she was being asked to do by her voices, whom she had by then identified as Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret- two early Christian martyrs- in addition to Saint Michael. After being accused of breaking an engagement (a case dismissed by the ecclesiastical court at Tours, but which rather darkly foreshadows the way in which her later trial and execution would inherently punish a wayward "woman"), she became convinced that her voices were telling her to leave Domrémy to aid the Dauphin. It was a remarkable undertaking for a sixteen-year-old peasant girl, illiterate, who had never left her home village. By February of 1428, she had convinced a local nobleman to support her and conduct her to the Dauphin's seat at Chinon. It was at this time that she began to wear men's clothing- an outfit which was provided to her by the local townspeople, and rather famously consisted of a pair of breeches which tied to her jerkin, a costume which made her almost- but not entirely- invulnerable to rape. Like Deborah and Jael, she was endangering herself by entering a world that was dominated by men, and her choice of clothing is evidence of this.

And like the judges we have read about, Jehanne was called from her home village in a period of turmoil to perform what she saw as a sacred duty, something which God had commanded her to do. Like Deborah, she was something of a prophet: she knew that she would see the Dauphin crowned king of France:

And she said, “I will surely go with you; nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.” (Judges 4:9)

And, like Gideon, she was a working-class farmer called on to lead an army.

He responded, “But sir, how can I deliver Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” The Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike down the Midianites, every one of them.” (Judges 6:15-16)

I think these similarities are all the more important this week, as we face the destruction of reproductive rights under Roe vs. Wade and the ongoing victimization of victims of domestic violence. Too frequently Biblical womanhood is cited as an excuse to strip people who are not cishet men of their destiny- to relinquish them to a common denominator, a life of submission and servitude. But what Judges shows us is that God’s call does not discriminate between bodies or genders. A person’s place in the world is wherever God calls them to go. We are allowed to ask for God’s reassurance of his call, but we must remember that if God calls us, he trusts us. We must trust him, and trust ourselves as he justifies us. God’s purpose supersedes the binaries and restraints imposed on us by the world.

Too often we equate "warriorhood" with masculinity, dominance, and activeness. Among Christians the epitome of being a warrior is archetypically defined as avenging angels and violent crusaders, many of whom committed gross atrocities and whose actions characterize a far-right movement of alleged "God-fearing" men who believe in their divine right to power on account of their maleness. Gross and extreme conservatism characterizes much of the front-facing presence of Christianity, it is this fundamentalism which we now see strongly affects political process. But God does not pick warriors from the strongest of his believers. David was the youngest son of Jesse. Gideon too. Deborah and Jael were women. God's warriors are those who listen to him: their strength lies in their difference. Consider how you are a warrior- not how you can be one, but how you already are one. Your God-given difference is your destiny: what makes you strong and extraordinary. How does your difference make you a warrior?

Last summer, I took a course on understanding scripture through how it is depicted in art. One week was completely devoted to paintings of Judith and Deborah, and we were assigned to read portions of both Judges and Judith. Funnily enough, we all struggled to tell the difference between depictions of the two women. Unlike Judges, the book of Judith is considered deuterocanonical, and it is not included in the Protestant canon: this could be part of why paintings of Judith and Deborah are frequently confused. But you can always tell the difference between the two in a very simple way. If it’s a woman beheading a man, it’s Judith. If it’s a woman with a hammer, it’s Deborah.

Both depictions of these warrior-prophet-women are marked by the violence of the acts they carry out at God’s call. They are associated heavily with the weapons with which they carry those acts out. It’s a very different image of women than we often associate with Biblical womanhood. Biblical womanhood is frequently associated with attributes like mildness, compliance, domesticity, motherhood, and submission. Biblical and traditional womanhood have become synonymous and conservative. It is heavily binarized, and placed firmly below dominant patriarchal structures.

Yet this view of “Biblical womanhood” doesn’t really hold up to the women we have encountered in the Bible- and it doesn’t hold up with our understanding of Jehanne. A question I want us to ponder this week is what actually constitutes Biblical womanhood? It’s a question that’s going to follow us as we continue this month-long study. Jehanne was condemned to death on account of not being a “real” woman. She was fully equipped to carry out what God asked of her, but she was still condemned for not being the "right" kind of person for her gender presentation.

I would argue that part of her equipment was the fact that she was someone who existed between genders, neither male nor female. But Jehanne was also both male and female. We have words for this now- nonbinary, gender non-conforming, transgender, and many others- but I don't think they help us much when we try and understand the complexity of gender in a time when gender was binary. Yet Jehanne shows evidence that she understood her gender as being other. Her trial transcripts reveal that she attributed no real gender alignment to herself or her presentation: her clothes were chosen for practicality, and that was necessary to fulfill the destiny which she felt had been given her.

How does our gender and our gender presentation function as a tool for our god-given purpose? For many people gender presentation is a tool that helps them to feel more comfortable in their own bodies, to convey to the world who they are. It is a tool that can heal one's relationship to their gender. Our purpose, our fate for which we are given "tools" does not have to be as grand as saving France or the world: it can simply be something intended to save ourselves. Sometimes saving oneself is the greatest mission God gave us- something we are given through his deep love for us.

#joan of arc #st joan of arc #jeanne d'arc #saints #idk how to tag this! lol #p

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icelynia · 7 months ago

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Some tips to actually read the Bible!

If you’re like me and struggle with reading your Bible, here are some tips! Hopefully ADHD/Neurodivergent friendly ones.

Get a journal/study Bible- I cannot say how much this has helped me! Instead of having a separate notebook I need to take with me/open on my phone, I can just write right in it! Highly recommend.

Don’t judge versions- Now some versions are more accurate and overall better, that’s just the truth, but that doesn’t mean that the rest don’t have their places. The Message might absolutely suck for any hardcore Bible study, but it’s great for casual reading and beginners. If a version is boring you, difficult to understand, or just too familiar, don’t be afraid to switch it up! You can easily try out new versions digitally before committing to buying a physical copy of it!

Don’t be afraid to markup your Bible- I know that some feel like it is sacrilegious to write and highlight in a Bible, but it isn’t. Don’t go burning and defacing Bibles of course, but writing notes and highlighting to help further your Bible study are fine! Get different colored writing utensils, put tabs for each book, even doodle in the margins!

Studying the Bible should be fun, not stressful- If you need to put on music, sit in the bathtub, or put a sticker on the first page of every book you’ve finished, go ahead! This kind of goes along with the last point, but even if it’s not a conventional way to read the Bible, go wild (within reason)! If you need an audiobook version go ahead! If you voice act everyone, that’s great. What’s important is that you are consuming God’s word and grasping the message inside of it. Don’t go too overboard and let your method become a distraction though!

Get a children’s Bible- I was recently going through some bookshelves at home and found my old Veggietales Children’s Bible. I flipped through it and it grabbed my attention right away! Children’s Bibles usually have inserted points that are on a more basic level than “adult Bibles”. That’s fine! Some of us need that simplicity, especially if we are neurodivergent. The Veggietales Bible I have also has comics based on the movies which while sometimes weird, were a nice brain break from the sometimes overwhelming and long passages of scripture. It might seem silly/awkward at first, but finding a good children’s Bible can open up a whole new world in your Bible Study!

You don’t need a plan- It can be overwhelming to try those “Read the whole Bible in a year!” plans, so try something different. Maybe read through the minor prophets, read just Ester, or 5 Proverbs! Any amount is good, since it means you got into the Word! Maybe one day you’ll just open to a random passage and read that! You never know where you’ll end up and I’ve had some great moments just with doing that.

Join a Bible Study-Going through Scripture with someone else can be a game changer! From sharing different opinions on passages, holding each other accountable, to sharing prayer requests, there is nothing better than having at least one buddy to fellowship in the Lord with!

Play Bible Games-This can go along with the last one, but play Bible games! Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Sword Drills- This is a competition based on finding passages fast. It starts with someone (usually a leader, but can be anyone within the group) yelling, “Swords Up!” and then everyone lifts their Bibles in the air. If it is feasible, make sure everyone has the same copy of the Bible. If not, only rules are that the Bible has to be physical and no bookmarking sections to help you get to a passage faster. The same person that yelled “Swords Up!” will now say a passage (Eg: John 3:15) and the participants will say it back. They will all start looking for it when the person says “Go!” . The first person to get to the passage and read it allowed wins! This game helps with memorizing the books of the Bible, their order, and helps expose people to passages they might not read otherwise.

2. Bible Quizzing- This one is all about memorizing facts, passages, and trivia about the Bible. Now there are actual tournaments and Bible Quizzing championships, but you don’t need to do anything like that. Just get a few friends, task one with coming up with questions, and then compete to see who gets the most right! This could involve Jeopardy, multiple choice, and even a written portion. I’ve done both casual and actual tournaments and I’d recommend both! Both are fun and get people to learn the Bible, though the actual competitions can be an idol to some people.

Find Christian Online Influencers- Now, this one could lead you astray, but hear me out. Finding entertainment from Christian sources is leagues better than from some random person who is probably an atheist, woke, and believes in evolution. Now, I’m not saying “Don’t engage with and watch content from non Christian people!” what I am saying is to try and get some more Christians in there. My favorite Christian YouTube Channels are Red Pen Logic, Dude Perfect, JStu, Matthias, and Sean McDowell. Not all of these are content about Christianity, but they are all Christian YouTubers. The ones about Christianity are RPL and Sean McDowell. JStu member Justin does have a podcast called the Soul Mine Podcast that he runs with his father all about being a Christian boy/man in our modern society. Everyone (even girls) are allowed and encouraged to listen to it. The point with this one is that surrounding yourself with entertainment that won’t lead you astray is important and that these YouTubers are a great place to start.

Also if you are a Christian theatre nerd, check out Sight and Sound Theatres! I cannot recommend them enough. They do original musicals based on people from the Bible and I’d say are even better quality than Broadway. They are currently doing Daniel (1st run!) in Lancaster, PA and Queen Esther in Branson, MO. Enough people don’t know about them for how good their shows are! They have a 180° stage, live animal actors, and very impressive both practical and digital effects! Their sets also move and are very intricate and impressive.

This was all I could think of at the moment! Feel free to reblog/comment some more tips that have worked for you.

God bless!❤️✝️

#bible study #bible #adhd #adhd tips #christblr #christianity #sight and sound #sight and Sound theaters #neurodivergent #neurodivergent tips

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year ago

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Bengiyo Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)

Today I will be writing about

Latter Days (2003) dir. C. Jay Cox

[Run Time: 1:48 , Available: tubi, youtube premium, amazon but you have to get a free trial to something else…I tried watching it…somewhere else but they were updating the movie so I caved and went to tubi, Lang: English]

Summary: Latter Days is a 2003 American romantic comedy-drama film about a gay relationship between a closeted Mormon missionary and his openly gay neighbor. (from wiki)

Cast: * Wes Ramsey as Christian Markelli * Steve Sandvoss as Elder Aaron Davis

___

Content Warnings because I don't really write about those parts of the movie here: this film gets to a dark place, it includes self harm/a suicide attempt, homophobia, medical torture, and a story about being left to die by a parent. Alright, so after sufficiently crying my eyes out binging Eternal Yesterday, I decided there was enough time in the evening to knock out another film from the syllabus. Today’s film was (partially) about Mormons and Mormonism. My own personal understanding of Mormonism does not extend too far beyond The Book of Mormon: The Musical. Which gave me some impression that homosexuality is a sin, but only if acted upon.

Which, is gonna suck for our poor dear Elder Davis, when he and three other Elders roll in to Los Angeles and in to a house across from our beloved booty shorts wearing waiter. The movie seems pretty low budget, and it’s from 2003 so there are some, what I would call cheesy camera effects happening at the beginning, but I still enjoyed the way the world seemed sped up and disorienting when Mr. Mormon lands in Los Angeles from his home in Idaho.

I love our introduction to Christian as an unapologetically queer, slutty man and not only that, but Christian has his sex life together. He remembers who he has slept with, and when, and takes fucking notes and everything. Like, he’s truly impressive.

gif from @bl-bam-beyond

Aaron and Christian make eye contact as every love at first sight story is wont to do, and then realize later they are neighbors. At which point a lot of decently subtle things start to happen. Aaron starts sitting outside to study his scripture in hopes of running in to Christian, Aaron and Christian talk about his mission trip, we get to see the four Elders interact, etc. and these subtler moments were aspects of this film that I deeply appreciated.

Do not get me wrong, this film is absolutely critical of the Mormon church, (there is a scene near the end of the film where Elder Davis is getting excommunicated from the church for being a homosexual), but there are a lot of quite parts they do not say out loud around the intentional isolation that The Church of Latter Day Saints creates by sending their boys on missions trips in the first place.

This film does not, in my opinion, explicitly discuss or state that mission trips really seem to be less to recruit new members and more to make sure their younger members don’t go running off to join the rest of society. The Elders are not allowed to see their family for two years, their families are not allowed to see them, they are not allowed to listen to music, to watch television, all the Elders in that location live together in one house, they share a room so there is no privacy, they go knocking door to door to try to spread the word only to have the doors slammed repeatedly in their face. These tactics exist to make these boys homesick, to make the outer world seem hostile, to bring the Mormon roommates closer together when the outsiders push them away. But the implication is there.

I have to share the quote that comes with this gif: "You're gonna come in to my house and tell me God hates homosexuals?" || "And the French!"

And actually, the thing I appreciate the most about this commentary is the fact that the Elders are aware of this, and that they are allowed to be young men. I loved that one Elder was talking to Aaron about how mission trips were designed to be difficult, and that you can tell he is generally disinterested in spreading The Word. This Elder views his mission trip as the last major hoop he has to jump through before he can marry his girlfriend and “finally nail her”. Horniness fuels his motivation to get through this mission.

These “Elders” (and I put quotes here not to strip them of their titles but to point out the irony) are nineteen or twenty years old. They are fucking gross. Their apartment is decorated like boys live there, with bean bag chairs and all, and they fart on each other, and wrestle, and bite their bedframes to try to stop themselves from jerking off. Hell, when they first move in, Christian mistakes them for a frat house. They are homophobic, and throw slurs around, but they look incredulous at the mere thought of consuming alcohol.

The first time Aaron is faced with the potential to give in to his gay thoughts, he tells Christian he hasn’t done anything. When Christian says it doesn’t have to mean anything and Aaron says “yes it does”, he asks “my first time can just be a little fun for you?” like Aaron was fully planning on having sex with Christian. I like that Aaron, as a young man is going 0 to 100 with the physical intimacy.

I often have difficulty with romance stories in movie formats because I have to push past how quickly two characters fall in love. Which is the case here that Christian is confessing his love for Aaron after they have interacted like…five times total. But, I appreciate the ways they show us that Christian and Aarong would be good for each other. We see them being absolute nerds, saying movie quotes to each other. I love that we know Aaron is going to break the rules and eventually give in to Christian, just based on the fact that he gives Christian his first name. Which he is not supposed to use when he’s on his mission trip.

gif from @bl-bam-beyond

I am not a religious person, so I don’t usually pay attention to whether or not a film that critics religion is going to take a hard atheistic turn or not. But I actually thought it was compassionate, kind, and in keeping with the nature of like, religion as spirituality, versus religion as control and fear tactic. I like that all these little coincidences happened, that Christian saw Aaron through his taxi cab window, that Aaron talked to and comforted Lila (Christians’ boss) when she was having a bad day and she gave him her card and told him to come to her restaurant for a free meal, that when Christian is looking for Aaron his random doodles end up being the phone number he needs to call, that Julie in stealing entries from Christian’s diary for her song allowed Aaron to hear it in the facility his parents put him in and return to LA, and that Aaron and Christian were reunited because Aaron cashed in on that free meal from Lila.

And so too with the man Christian meets who is dying of AIDS, how he touches him and only sees snow. How he chalks that up to Christian being a blank person, shallow. The same way that Aaron has described Christian “there is nothing, nothing about you, Christian that isn’t skin deep”. And how we see Christian recoil from the touch, from the words ‘snow’ (and we will come to find out later, why that is the case).

Like these can all be coincidences, or they could be chalked up to fate, or a higher power, or whatever you want. Latter Days does not reject the idea of religion, it leaves room for a religious, higher power explanation to exist. Aaron and Aaron’s faith, the way he views the world, the importance that his values hold to him do still impact Christian. I don’t know how much he believes in God, but when Aaron calls him shallow, he takes that to heart, he really thinks about it, he realizes that what has been drawing him to Aaron is the depth, the conversations, they aren’t just gonna fuck.

Not that I think monogamy needs to happen, or that Christian needs to have calmed down the sluttiness. Just, that in a film about religion and its intersections with sexuality, when you are going to be critical of a Church that has done very very real harm. That there is a mutual exchange here. Christian gets more depth as a result of meeting Aaron and Aaron (eventually) gets freedom as a result of meeting Christian.

BL Side Note

I also need to say, since this syllabus is technically supposed to act as a lead up to BLs, that Latter Days has the sponge bath trope! Aaron wipes down Christian’s body with a washcloth after he faints from seeing blood. The sexual tension rises between Aaron and Christian, until they are about a fraction of a second away from kissing, and Aaron bails.

For/By/About

Gay Trifecta.

The director of Latter Days, C. Jay Cox is a gay man and a (former) fifth generation Mormon.

This film did not hit me in the emotional place where I would normally say the films I rate as For The Queers go. But, this is a deeply personal film for the screen writer and Director who is gay and therefore it feels like it should be for gays. And, in addition I feel like they were enough casual references to things that don’t get full explanations that would read and be understood by a queer audience but maybe not by a straight audience. I think there are dimensional portrayals of the queer characters and they don’t succumb to stereotypes, and for those reasons I would categorize it as being for us.

Favorite Moment

The post-sex conversation that Aaron and Christian have, where Aaron asks if Christian has ever had the experience of being cut off from everything, and we finally get some more of Christian’s backstory. Now, like I said above, there are some understated aspects of this film that I do think are really smart. Aaron calls Christian shallow at one point, and my first thought was “oh honey, you are wrong” because of how Christian spoke to Aaron earlier on in the movie about being desperate to get away from home. Sure, Christian is generally now, emotionally reserved and has some growing to do. But, Aaron vastly underestimates the weight behind a gay man saying that he left home and never looked back. Because Aaron had a good relationship to his family (before he came out).

If the monologue wasn’t multiple paragraphs I would probably put the whole speech as my favorite quote. But, fundamentally what makes this scene for me is that Christian is telling Aaron this, while they are both naked in bed. Aaron has just had sex for the first time, and there is just this level of casual inclusion of nudity. I am generally an advocate for increasing the inclusion of non-sexual nudity on screen. I feel like people tend to spend a lot more causal time naked than they do sexual time naked, and I think Latter Days did a really phenomenal job of shifting between sexual nudity and casual nudity in the same setting, with the same characters, at the same time.

When Aaron and Christian first enter the airport hotel, they are shedding their clothing with the intention of having sex. The scene is charged with sexual tension, shirts and pants are coming off as fast as they can, every movement brings them closer to the bed. But after they are done, Aaron, still naked, slides across Christian’s naked body to grab a watch off the floor, and Christian holds his leg so he won’t slide off the bed. It’s just comfortable. When Christian is talking to Aaron about his experience of being left in a snowstorm by his father, they are nude because they are being laid bare. I don’t know if I can describe it properly, but I just love that this really important conversation, where Aaron is learning that Christian understands far far better than Aaron ever could have thought about what you risk losing when you are queer, happens with literally everything out in the open.

Favorite Quote

“It’s early November, the same as now, and there's this storm rolling in. My dad was so determined that sissy boy was going to kill something. Snow came at us from all sides. The air, the sky, the ground they all became the same and horrible screaming white and I thought ‘we’re gonna be OK, right?” And then I saw my father’s eyes and they were that same white…and that’s when he did it.” “He did what?” “Ran.”

This quote comes from part of the monologue I mentioned in my Favorite Scene.

Score

8/10

Latter Days is an 8/10 for me for a few reasons, the acting was not always the best, it was clear they did not have either the time or the budget for perfection. There were stutters that read far more like actors forgetting their lines than they did like natural pauses. I also was not thrilled with the death fake out. Like, I am very much glad we did not see Aaron self-harm, and that some of the other torture he went through gets dampened a bit by dream sequence shenanigans. I figured that they were not actually going to kill Aaron off, but they do spend quite a lot of time letting the audience think he is dead, and I am not super appreciative of that.

#queer cinema syllabus #bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #latter days #latter days (2003)#unit 3 #unit 3: faith and religion

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daemon-in-my-head · 10 months ago

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Ok. I've had the thought for a while that in a very twisted way, Gortash and Durge are like Eve and the Serpent and @laubritter positively made it worse (thank you for the blessing that was the Xvim paralles)

So, Durge was incredibly devoted and faithful to Bhaal, Durge's god and creator(!). Until a certain Tyrant came along, befriended the poor innocent creature, and led it astray, away from Bhaals teaching, to question the formerly blind faith. Potentially teaching the reclusive Durge knowledge about a world they were hidden from. Key point being knowledge.

Durge is a bit like Eve in that regard, blissfully ignorant until she passes by the tree and the Serpent. But she didn't fall for the Serpents' tricks immediately. It took some coercion, some time, multiple visits. Just like it took Gortash years to drive Durge to a point where the Bhaalspawn actively began defying Bhaal. To the point where Durge wrote the prayer.

The Serpent didn't immediately succeed in convincing Eve to trust it. But once the Serpent was successful, she took a bite out of the forbidden fruit. She gained knowledge and then defied her creator and God. And as punishment for her transgression, she fell, was cast out of paradise. And the moment Durge took a bite of the forbidden fruit, had gained enough knowledge or maybe even understood the festering feelings, the moment the prayer was written, Durge fell from grace. Fell from the place of chosen and was cast out of the temple.

Now, on top of that, Xvim, who has a lot of parallels with Gortash, has an adder as one of his symbols. A serpent. Gortash has dragons on his coat. They do be similar enough to reptiles without pissing off Bane for reminding him of his son.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but what happened to Adam and Eves' children again? Cain and Abel? Didn't they fight each other until only one was left, similar to how the Bhaalspawn in general but also Durge and Orin fought each other until only one was left? The fate that all of Durges children will have to face even in the redemption ending?

Also something something about Gortashes obsession with devils, being raised by a Cambion in the hells and then acting as the Serpent, aka the devil. Corrupting an innocent soul the way devils do. On top of that, he is a manipulator and mastermind. Or at least he's portrayed that way. He always has ulterior motives, and one might say he has a snake like personality.

ALSO ALSO Infernal being based on Latin. The language the bible was written in for the longest time. A language in general is very closely tied to holy scriptures. Gorty probably knows infernal too, considering his upbringing.

Am I making sense? Idk. But apparently, this flavour of durgetash took over, and I will now return to sketching something depicting the two most evil and tragic gremlins alongside a Serpent because I saw smth and now that idea is stuck. It's just now worse than before.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #enver gortash #bg3 gortash #lord gortash #durgetash #gortash x durge #bg3 durge #durge

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traumacatholic · 1 year ago

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I need advice. I abandoned Catholicism over 5 years ago due to trauma. I recently decided to try to reconnect with my faith and get closer to God but I don’t know where to start.

This is really going to depend on whether you are a baptised and confirmed Catholic or not. I'm saying this because I know a lot of adults that were baptised and who for whatever reason, didn't get confirmed.

In both instances, I would recommend reaching out to your local Church and ask to have a discussion with the local Priest who will be able to advise you on your next steps. If you are a baptised and confirmed Catholic, then he's likely going to ask for you to arrange to attend Confession, as well as recommending going forward that you attend Mass where possible. This way, going forward after your confession, you will be able to receive Communion. It may be possible that he can also recommend you some resources that speak to your particular situation.

Some Churches are certainly in better positions than others with regards to providing ongoing support. If the Church has any Bible studies, or would let you enrol in RCIA even as a fully baptised and confirmed Catholic then I would recommend getting involved in them when they're up and running. It can provide a lot of support and guidance.

If you are only baptised, then your next steps would be enrolling into the RCIA program when it's up and running. Because if you're not baptised AND confirmed, then you're unable to participate in the Sacraments of Communion and Confession.

Something I would also recommend doing is developing a prayer rule. These should generally only be established with the help of a Priest, so I would recommend asking the Priest you reach out to for better advice on where you should start. But something that would be beneficial would be to have a morning and/or nightly prayer where you say the Our Father 3x as well as the Hail Mary 3x. (This should serve as a baseline, if you feel the need to add other prayers that address something you're going through that day, then do but please don't try and establish a long lengthy prayer rule. It should be short and manageable).

I would also recommend reading small parts of the four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John daily until you finish reading them all. You don't have to do the prayers and Scripture readings in one go, definitely spread them out throughout the day if that's easier. And only start with small bitesize chunks of Scripture. It's better to read a small amount each day than to read a huge chunk and then not pick the Bible up again for weeks on end.

Once you've finished reading them, I would recommend going to https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/120123.cfm. Each day, read the daily readings. These are the readings used in the Mass for that day. And draw from the Old and New Testament. I would still recommend reading outside of those, but these can be a good starting point.

An alternative (to the second part) would be to work your way through the Ascension presents - Bible in a Year playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeXS0cAkuTPqFMtZQ379qdEmcfxO1SvXc . Commentary and prayer is provided alongside the readings, and you might find this helpful. And you could always have this playing in the background while you get ready in the morning / before bed.

If you don't feel ready to attend Mass yet, that's okay. I would still recommend reaching out to the Priest and talking about your situation with him. And incorporating prayer and Scripture into your life is so important. Don't feel like you can't pray or read the Bible just because you don't feel ready to attend Mass.

Spending time with the Scripture and spending time in prayer is a really good means of reconnecting with the faith. Especially because you can take things at your own pace. Don't feel like you aren't doing enough. Starting off slow and steady is always going to be better than trying to jump into everything all at once and burning yourself out. God bless you on your journey!

Also if you're interested in religious books that explore themes such as mental health issues and trauma, then I would recommend checking out this list: https://hislittleflower-throughconcrete.tumblr.com/post/161442647997/i-have-no-idea-if-youd-actually-know-but-is

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justinspoliticalcorner · 29 days ago

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Alice Herman at The Guardian:

Tens of thousands of Christians poured onto the National Mall on Saturday to atone, pray and take a stand for America – which, in their view, has been poisoned by secularism and must be ruled instead by a Christian god. Summoned to Washington DC by the multilevel marketing professional-turned-Christian “apostle” Jenny Donnelly and the anti-LGBTQ+ celebrity pastor Lou Engle, they streamed onto the lawn holding blue and pink banners emblazoned with the hashtag #DontMessWithOurKids – a nod to the myth that children are being indoctrinated into adopting gay and transgender identities. It was no coincidence that the event was held on the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, or that many attendees carried shofars and Israeli flags: evangelicals and charismatic Christians find spiritual meaning in Old Testament scripture, Jewish rituals and support for Israel – where they believe the end times prophecy will take place.

Although most of the day was spent in prayer and worship, November’s presidential election hung heavy over the crowd. A promotional newsletter for the event called on “the Lord’s authority over the election process and our nation’s leadership”, and organizers handed out flyers promoting a pre-election prayer event hosted by the Donald Trump-aligned organization Turning Point USA Faith. Lance Wallnau, a Maga evangelist who rose to prominence after prophesying Trump’s first term in office, delivered remarks at the gathering. “We have 31 million Christians, I just found out, they’ve just been so bombarded by woke preachers and apathetic Christians that they don’t think they’re gonna vote this year,” said Wallnau. “Folks, this meeting, on Yom Kippur, is our governmental moment to shift something in the spirit.” Wallnau called on pastors to urge their congregants to vote.

“I was here at January 6,” said Tami Barthen, an attendee who traveled from Pennsylvania to attend the rally, and who described her experience of the Capitol riot as profoundly spiritual. “It’s not Democrat versus Republican,” she said. “It’s good versus evil.” It’s the first of a series of Christian nationalist gatherings in DC to rally believers to the Capitol ahead of the 2024 election. Donnelly billed the event as a rallying call for mothers concerned about changing gender norms in the modern US and casting the gathering at the Capitol as an opportunity for women to stand their ground and play a pivotal role in changing the country’s cultural and political trajectory. The rally is a collaboration organized by multiple far-right Christian leaders affiliated with the New Apostolic Reformation, a movement on the political far right that seeks to establish long-term Christian dominion over government and society as well as get Trump a second presidency in November.

Matthew Taylor, a senior scholar at the Institute for Islamic, Christian and Jewish Studies, said the effort was aimed at “creating a network – a mass of people – who see it as their spiritual mission to take over Washington DC”. Most prominent in the push to turn out women to the National Mall is Engle, a rightwing pastor and staunch opponent of LGBTQ+ rights and abortion, whose tutelage of anti-gay Ugandan pastors and coordination of mass prayer mobilizations has earned him international notoriety and celebrity. [...] Donnelly has sought to pass along that message to other Christian women through an organization called Her Voice Movement Action, which organizes women into decentralized, independently-run “prayer hubs” – a source of spiritual community for women that also functions as a political mobilization tool. [...]

From Peru to Portland

Years before Donnelly flew the #DontMessWithOurKids flag, a movement under the same name took hold in Peru, promoted by Christian Rosas, a conservative Christian political strategist and consultant in the mining industry. The evangelical “No te metas con mis hijos” – “don’t mess with my kids” – coalition, which opposed LGBTQ+ inclusion and abortion, earned followers in 2016 during a wave of conservative backlash against governmental efforts to introduce themes of gender equality and LGBTQ+ inclusion in the school system.

When the government issued lockdown orders to slow the spread of Covid-19, it issued travel restrictions by gender, allowing women and men to leave the house on different days of the week and affirming that trans people’s gender identities would be respected in enforcing the rule. Rosas took issue with the trans-inclusive policy, claiming that police officers were obligated to enforce the rule based on travelers’ identification cards, not their gender identities. During the lockdown orders, the Peruvian investigative reporting outlet OjoPúblico reported on 18 incidents of humiliating and abusive arrests of trans women by the police. What started as street protests has turned into an electoral strategy to elect ultra-conservative allies of the Christian right into office in Peru. These lawmakers have passed a slew of socially conservative laws, including one this year that classifies transgender identities as mental illnesses.

Donnelly has taken up the mantle of this movement among Christian moms in the US, drawing directly from Rosas’s vision in Peru and consulting him on strategy. “We challenged the law, why? Because the law was unjust. We challenged the curriculum. Why? Because the curriculum was unjust,” said Rosas on a podcast interview with Donnelly on 6 November 2023. “TV, news [outlets], they mocked us every day, they mocked us, they ridiculed us, saying: ‘Look at them, they’re radical, religious, whatever,’ but they saw that we are not retreating.”

Rosas spoke at the Capitol rally on Saturday, too, where he preached against LGBTQ+ acceptance and promised that his movement could be replicated in the US. “Obedience to the Lord also requires us to stand up strong against weakened structures,” Rosas said. “Against evil, against unjust laws.” Don’t Mess With Our Kids and No te metas con mis hijos have both attempted to cast their organizations as grassroots mobilizations. In a 2017 interview with Vice News, a spokesperson for the group spoke on the condition of anonymity, claiming to speak for “the collective”. Donnelly’s Her Voice Movement adopts a similar approach. In a recording of a Zoom call in August – which journalist Dominick Bonny obtained and shared with the Guardian – Her Voice Movement spokesperson Naomi Van Wyk said the group had teamed up with Moms for Liberty to launch a multi-state campaign called March for Kids, but cautioned members to keep the association private.

This weekend, tens of thousands flocked to DC for the far-right anti-LGBTQ+/anti-trans Don’t Mess With Our Kids rally that featured Christian nationalist and anti-LGBTQ+ messaging.

Don’t Mess With Our Kids is a project of Her Voice MVMT.

Related Bible Readings:

In the Scriptures, God instructed Moses to make a holy anointing oil. (See Exodus 30:22-33 for its use and purpose.)

Luke 4:1-15; Luke 9:1-3; Luke 10:19 & 20; Acts Chapter 2; Isaiah 10:27; Matthew 11:28-30; Galatians Chapter 5; Colossians Chapter 1, 2, 3 and 4; Psalm 23, Jeremiah Chapter 1; Ephesians in its entirety; First Epistle of John 2:27-29; Acts Chapters 1 and 2; Romans Chapters 6 and 12; Hebrews 1:8 & 9; First Epistle of Peter in its entirety; Philippians Chapter 3; 2 Corinthians Chapter 5; Joel 2:28-32

#AnointingofGod #PowerofGod #anointedlives #holyliving #anointedchurch #AnointedJesus #anointeddisciples #HolyGhost

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theloveandthedead · 1 year ago

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Birthday snippet for darkmessiah2000

This is the birthday request for @darkmessiah2000

I hope you like it!

It was strange coming here after so long.

Alucard felt both like an intruder and a runaway pacing his family’s front door porch.

When Olivia asked him where he wanted to go for their anniversary, this was the only place that came to mind.

Yet the words clogged in his throat, and he could only grasp her hand and place it on the map tacked to their wall.

As she realized where he was pointing, there wasn’t any judgment on her face–there never was– and she nodded before drawing him close.

Over the years, the couple had traveled to vast locations from the steepest peaks to the darkest caverns. But, as time turned Olivia’s hair white and her constitution more frail, they had kept to more tame ventures.

However this….this was something Alucard felt he had to do.

Countless souls flocked here yearly for pilgrimage and now he was one of them.

The Mount of Beatitudes–the site of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.

The Western Wall–the last remnant of the Temple Mount.

The Dome of the Ascension–the spot where the prophet Muhammad ascended to the heavens.

Alucard took it all in with an impassive expression, feeling isolated from the devout swarming around him.

Centuries ago, he had slaughtered thousands for this land–for the approval of the Almighty Father.

While those around him prayed with beads and clasped hands, he had used bloodsoaked lances and swords.

And, when his prayers were ignored, he turned his back to the heavens and became what Iscariot lovingly dubbed ”An unholy abomination that God has casted out”.

Now that he was here, would he–such a wretched creature–combust if he brushed against a rosary?

Would turning the page of holy texts slice his fingers to ribbons?

After everything, did he have a place here?

The blessed city of Jerusalem was divided into quarters based on religion, but even then, there was a sense of unity lingering in the air.

Different languages, customs, beliefs yet they all faced skyward in their faith.

Even in the face of despair, their faith never faltered and was larger than any mustard seed.

How beautiful they were.

Their strength, their resilience–unbreakable.

The ice prison surrounding him fortified, and Alucard was about to step back into the shadows when Olivia clasped his hands between hers.

“You’re here,” Olivia whispered, a soothing smile on her wrinkled face. “You’re here, Vlad. That is all that matters.”

At that, the frigid ice melted away, and he was bombarded by the warmth embracing him from all sides.

(For this son of mine was dead and now has returned to life.

He was lost, but now he is found. )

“I’m here,” He acknowledged, leaning into Olivia’s touch like a shipwrecked man clings to a life ring. “I’m here.”

Yes, for now, Alu–no, Vlad….Vlad would not dwell in the past and instead would take in this warm present.

Because he was here.

As for Olivia, she watched her husband silently, knowing how important this trip was to him.

Growing up, her family avoided religion and even during her prime serving Hellsing, she had never attended mass nor studied scripture.

To be honest, religion left a bitter taste in her mouth.

How people justified their horrid behavior in the name of faith, and that famous lie that “Ask the Lord and you shall receive” was constantly paraded around.

What of those caught in the crossfires of war?

What of the victims left at the mercy of their abusers?

What of the countless injustices dealt to the innocent while the wicked frolicked in bliss?

What of their prayers?

They beg the Almighty for salvation and are only met with silence!

Why?

Why would such a gracious God allow such suffering?

These were the questions that constantly swirled around her head when confronted with religion.

Now that her mortal life was drawing to a close and her once youthful gaze was dulled by jaded wisdom, she finally had an answer.

In the end, the only answer she could conjure up was that there was no answer.

Not very satisfying, but it was an answer nonetheless.

People have the capacity to perform marvelous acts of love and devastating acts of wrath–it is their free will.

It is these acts that shape the world into what it is, for better or worse.

And so, all Olivia could do was try to put more acts of love into the world and stop trying to question what she would never understand.

She was human, therefore operated by human logic.

God had no logic but their own, and no one will ever be able to comprehend it.

Not even their own son who was executed in the name of salvation for all.

So, in short, Olivia didn’t know where she stood, but she wasn’t going to fight it anymore.

Instead, she would stand beside her husband and take in the warmth of this holy city.

#birthday request #olivia #alucard #l'amour et la mort #hellsing fanfic #happy birthday darling dear!#darkmessiah2000

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orthodoxadventure · 10 months ago

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Repose of Venerable Seraphim, Wonderworker of Sarov

Commemorated on January 2

Saint Seraphim of Sarov, a great ascetic of the Russian Church, was born on July 19, 1754. His parents, Isidore and Agathia Moshnin, were inhabitants of Kursk. Isidore was a merchant. Toward the end of his life, he began construction of a cathedral in Kursk, but he died before the completion of the work. His little son Prochorus,the future Seraphim, remained in the care of his widowed mother, who raised her son in piety.

After the death of her husband, Agathia Moshnina continued with the construction of the cathedral. Once she took the seven-year-old Prochorus there with her, and he fell from the scaffolding around the seven-storey bell tower. He should have been killed, but the Lord preserved the life of the future luminary of the Church. The terrified mother ran to him and found her son unharmed.

Young Prochorus, endowed with an excellent memory, soon mastered reading and writing. From his childhood he loved to attend church services, and to read both the Holy Scripture and the Lives of the Saints with his fellow students. Most of all, he loved to pray or to read the Holy Gospel in private.

At one point Prochorus fell grievously ill, and his life was in danger. In a dream the boy saw the Mother of God, promising to visit and heal him. Soon past the courtyard of the Moshnin home came a church procession with the Kursk Root Icon of the Sign (November 27). His mother carried Prochorus in her arms, and he kissed the holy icon, after which he speedily recovered.

While still in his youth Prochorus made his plans to devote his life entirely to God and to go to a monastery. His devout mother did not object to this and she blessed him on his monastic path with a copper cross, which he wore on his chest for the rest of his life. Prochorus set off on foot with pilgrims going from Kursk to Kiev to venerate the Saints of the Caves.

The Elder Dositheus (actually a woman, Daria Tyapkina), whom Prochorus visited, blessed him to go to the Sarov wilderness monastery, and there seek his salvation. Returning briefly to his parental home, Prohkor bid a final farewell to his mother and family. On November 20, 1778 he arrived at Sarov, where the monastery then was headed by a wise Elder, Father Pachomius. He accepted him and put him under the spiritual guidance of the Elder Joseph. Under his direction Prochorus passed through many obediences at the monastery: he was the Elder’s cell-attendant, he toiled at making bread and prosphora, and at carpentry. He fulfilled all his obediences with zeal and fervor, as though serving the Lord Himself. By constant work he guarded himself against despondency (accidie), this being, as he later said, “the most dangerous temptation for new monks. It is treated by prayer, by abstaining from idle chatter, by strenuous work, by reading the Word of God and by patience, since it is engendered by pettiness of soul, negligence, and idle talk.”

With the blessing of Igumen Pachomius, Prochorus abstained from all food on Wednesdays and Fridays, and went into the forest, where in complete isolation he practiced the Jesus Prayer. After two years as a novice, Prochorus fell ill with dropsy, his body became swollen, and he was beset with suffering. His instructor Father Joseph and the other Elders were fond of Prochorus, and they provided him care. The illness dragged on for about three years, and not once did anyone hear from him a word of complaint. The Elders, fearing for his very life, wanted to call a doctor for him, but Prochorus asked that this not be done, saying to Father Pachomius: “I have entrusted myself, holy Father, to the True Physician of soul and body, our Lord Jesus Christ and His All-Pure Mother.”

He asked that a Molieben be offered for his health. While the others were praying in church, Prochorus had a vision. The Mother of God appeared to him accompanied by the holy Apostles Peter and John the Theologian. Pointing with Her hand towards the sick monk, the Most Holy Virgin said to Saint John, “He is one of our kind.” Then She touched the side of the sick man with Her staff, and immediately the fluid that had swelled up his body began to flow through the incision that She made. After the Molieben, the brethren found that Prochorus had been healed, and only a scar remained as evidence of the miracle.

Soon, at the place of the appearance of the Mother of God, an infirmary church was built for the sick. One of the side chapels was dedicated to Saints Zosimas and Sabbatius of Solovki (April 17). With his own hands, Saint Seraphim made an altar table for the chapel out of cypress wood, and he always received the Holy Mysteries in this church.

After eight years as a novice at the Sarov monastery, Prochorus was tonsured with the name Seraphim, a name reflecting his fiery love for the Lord and his zealous desire to serve Him. After a year, Seraphim was ordained as hierodeacon.

Earnest in spirit, he served in the temple each day, incessantly praying even after the service. The Lord granted him visions during the church services: he often saw holy angels serving with the priests. During the Divine Liturgy on Great and Holy Thursday, which was celebrated by the igumen Father Pachomius and by Father Joseph, Saint Seraphim had another vision. After the Little Entrance with the Gospel, the hierodeacon Seraphim pronounced the words “O Lord, save the God-fearing, and hear us.” Then, he lifted his orarion saying, “And unto ages of ages.” Suddenly, he was blinded by a bright ray of light.

Looking up, Saint Seraphim beheld the Lord Jesus Christ, coming through the western doors of the temple, surrounded by the Bodiless Powers of Heaven. Reaching the ambo, the Lord blessed all those praying and entered into His Icon to the right of the royal doors. Saint Seraphim, in spiritual rapture after this miraculous vision, was unable to utter a word, nor to move from the spot. They led him by the hand into the altar, where he just stood for another three hours, his face having changed color from the great grace that shone upon him. After the vision the saint intensified his efforts. He toiled at the monastery by day, and he spent his nights praying in his forest cell.

In 1793, Hierodeacon Seraphim was ordained to the priesthood, and he served the Divine Liturgy every day. After the death of the igumen Father Pachomius, Saint Seraphim received the blessing of the new Superior Father Isaiah, to live alone in a remote part of the forest three and a half miles from the monastery. He named his new home “Mount Athos,” and devoted himself to solitary prayer. He went to the monastery only on Saturday before the all-night Vigil, and returned to his forest cell after Sunday’s Liturgy, at which he partook of the Divine Mysteries.

Father Seraphim spent his time in ascetical struggles. His cell rule of prayer was based on the rule of Saint Pachomius for the ancient desert monasteries. He always carried the Holy Gospels with him, reading the entire New Testament in the course of a week. He also read the holy Fathers and the service books. The saint learned many of the Church hymns by heart, and sang them while working in the forest. Around his cell he cultivated a garden and set up a beehive. He kept a very strict fast, eating only once during the entire day, and on Wednesdays and Fridays he completely abstained from food. From the first Sunday of the Great Fast he did not partake of food at all until the following Saturday, when he received the Holy Mysteries.

The holy Elder was sometimes so absorbed by the unceasing prayer of the heart that he remained without stirring, neither hearing nor seeing anything around him. The schemamonk Mark the Silent and the hierodeacon Alexander, also wilderness-dwellers, would visit him every now and then. Finding the saint immersed in prayer, they would leave quietly, so they would not disturb his contemplation.

In the heat of summer the righteous one gathered moss from a swamp as fertilizer for his garden. Gnats and mosquitoes bit him relentlessly, but he endured this saying, “The passions are destroyed by suffering and by afflictions.”

His solitude was often disturbed by visits from monks and laymen, who sought his advice and blessing. With the blessing of the igumen, Father Seraphim prohibited women from visiting him, then receiving a sign that the Lord approved of his desire for complete silence, he banned all visitors. Through the prayers of the saint, the pathway to his wilderness cell was blocked by huge branches blown down from ancient pine trees. Now only the birds and the wild beasts visited him, and he dwelt with them as Adam did in Paradise. They came at midnight and waited for him to complete his Rule of prayer. Then he would feed bears, lynxes, foxes, rabbits, and even wolves with bread from his hand. Saint Seraphim also had a bear which would obey him and run errands for him.

In order to repulse the onslaughts of the Enemy, Saint Seraphim intensified his toil and began a new ascetical struggle in imitation of Saint Simeon the Stylite (September 1). Each night he climbed up on an immense rock in the forest, or a smaller one in his cell, resting only for short periods. He stood or knelt, praying with upraised hands, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” He prayed this way for 1,000 days and nights.

Three robbers in search of money or valuables once came upon him while he was working in his garden. The robbers demanded money from him. Though he had an axe in his hands, and could have put up a fight, he did not want to do this, recalling the words of the Lord: “Those who take up the sword will perish by the sword” (Mt. 26: 52). Dropping his axe to the ground, he said, “Do what you intend.” The robbers beat him severely and left him for dead. They wanted to throw him in the river, but first they searched the cell for money. They tore the place apart, but found nothing but icons and a few potatoes, so they left. The monk, regained consciousness, crawled to his cell, and lay there all night.

In the morning he reached the monastery with great difficulty. The brethren were horrified, seeing the ascetic with several wounds to his head, chest, ribs and back. For eight days he lay there suffering from his wounds. Doctors called to treat him were amazed that he was still alive after such a beating.

Father Seraphim was not cured by any earthly physician: the Queen of Heaven appeared to him in a vision with the Apostles Peter and John. Touching the saint’s head, the Most Holy Virgin healed him. However, he was unable to straighten up, and for the rest of his life he had to walk bent over with the aid of a stick or a small axe. Saint Seraphim had to spend about five months at the monastery, and then he returned to the forest. He forgave his abusers and asked that they not be punished.

In 1807 the abbot, Father Isaiah, fell asleep in the Lord. Saint Seraphim was asked to take his place, but he declined. He lived in silence for three years, completely cut off from the world except for the monk who came once a week to bring him food. If the saint encountered a man in the forest, he fell face down and did not get up until the passerby had moved on. Saint Seraphim acquired peace of soul and joy in the Holy Spirit. The great ascetic once said, “Acquire the spirit of peace, and a thousand souls will be saved around you.”

The new Superior of the monastery, Father Niphon, and the older brethren of the monastery told Father Seraphim either to come to the monastery on Sundays for divine services as before, or to move back into the monastery. He chose the latter course, since it had become too difficult for him to walk from his forest cell to the monastery. In the spring of 1810, he returned to the monastery after fifteen years of living in the wilderness.

Continuing his silence, he shut himself up in his cell, occupying himself with prayer and reading. He was also permitted to eat meals and to receive Communion in his cell. There Saint Seraphim attained the height of spiritual purity and was granted special gifts of grace by God: clairvoyance and wonderworking. After five years of solitude, he opened his door and allowed the monks to enter. He continued his silence, however, teaching them only by example.

On November 25, 1825 the Mother of God, accompanied by the two holy hierarchs commemorated on that day (Hieromartyr Clement of Rome, and Saint Peter, Archbishop of Alexandria), appeared to the Elder in a vision and told him to end his seclusion and to devote himself to others. He received the igumen’s blessing to divide his time between life in the forest, and at the monastery. He did not return to his Far Hermitage, but went to a cell closer to the monastery. This he called his Near Hermitage. At that time, he opened the doors of his cell to pilgrims as well as his fellow-monks.

The Elder saw into the hearts of people, and as a spiritual physician, he healed their infirmities of soul and body through prayer and by his grace-filled words. Those coming to Saint Seraphim felt his great love and tenderness. No matter what time of the year it was, he would greet everyone with the words, “Christ is Risen, my joy!” He especially loved children. Once, a young girl said to her friends, “Father Seraphim only looks like an old man. He is really a child like us.”

The Elder was often seen leaning on his stick and carrying a knapsack filled with stones. When asked why he did this, the saint humbly replied, “I am troubling him who troubles me.”

In the final period of his earthly life Saint Seraphim devoted himself to his spiritual children, the Diveyevo women’s monastery. While still a hierodeacon he had accompanied the late Father Pachomius to the Diveyevo community to its monastic leader, Mother Alexandra, a great woman ascetic, and then Father Pachomius blessed Saint Seraphim to care always for the “Diveyevo orphans.” He was a genuine father for the sisters, who turned to him with all their spiritual and material difficulties.

Saint Seraphim also devoted much effort to the women’s monastic community at Diveyevo. He himself said that he gave them no instructions of his own, but it was the Queen of Heaven who guided him in matters pertaining to the monastery. His disciples and spiritual friends helped the saint to feed and nourish the Diveyevo community. Michael V. Manturov, healed by the monk from grievous illness, was one of Diveyvo’s benefactors. On the advice of the Elder he took upon himself the exploit of voluntary poverty. Elena Vasilievna Manturova, one of the Diveyevo sisters, out of obedience to the Elder, voluntarily consented to die in place of her brother, who was still needed in this life.

Nicholas Alexandrovich Motovilov, was also healed by the monk. In 1903, shortly before the glorification of the saint, the remarkable “Conversation of Saint Seraphim of Sarov with N. A. Motovilov” was found and printed. Written by Motovilov after their conversation at the end of November 1831, the manuscript was hidden in an attic in a heap of rubbish for almost seventy years. It was found by the author S. A. Nilus, who was looking for information about Saint Seraphim’s life. This conversation is a very precious contribution to the spiritual literature of the Orthodox Church. It grew out of Nicholas Motovilov’s desire to know the aim of the Christian life. It was revealed to Saint Seraphim that Motovilov had been seeking an answer to this question since childhood, without receiving a satisfactory answer. The holy Elder told him that the aim of the Christian life is the acquisition of the Holy Spirit, and went on to explain the great benefits of prayer and the acquisition of the Holy Spirit.

Motovilov asked the saint how we can know if the Holy Spirit is with us or not. Saint Seraphim spoke at length about how people come to be in the Spirit of God, and how we can recognize His presence in us, but Motovilov wanted to understand this better. Then Father Seraphim took him by the shoulders and said, “We are both in the Spirit of God now, my son. Why don’t you look at me?”

Motovilov replied, “I cannot look, Father, for your eyes are flashing like lightning, and your face is brighter than the sun.”

Saint Seraphim told him, “Don’t be alarmed, friend of God. Now you yourself have become as bright as I am. You are in the fulness of the Spirit of God yourself, otherwise you would not be able to see me like this.”

Then Saint Seraphim promised Motovilov that God would allow him to retain this experience in his memory all his life. “It is not given for you alone to understand,” he said, “but through you it is for the whole world.”

Everyone knew and esteemed Saint Seraphim as a great ascetic and wonderworker. A year and ten months before his end, on the Feast of the Annunciation, Saint Seraphim was granted to behold the Queen of Heaven once more in the company of Saint John the Baptist, the Apostle John the Theologian and twelve Virgin Martyrs (Saints Barbara, Katherine, Thekla, Marina, Irene, Eupraxia, Pelagia, Dorothea, Makrina, Justina, Juliana, and Anysia). The Most Holy Virgin conversed at length with the monk, entrusting the Diveyevo sisters to him. Concluding the conversation, She said to him: “Soon, My dear one, you shall be with us.” The Diveyevo nun Eupraxia was present during this visit of the Mother of God, because the saint had invited her.

In the last year of Saint Seraphim’s life, one of those healed by him saw him standing in the air during prayer. The saint strictly forbade this to be mentioned until after his death.

Saint Seraphim became noticeably weaker and he spoke much about his approaching end. During this time they often saw him sitting by his coffin, which he had placed in the ante-room of his cell, and which he had prepared for himself.

The saint himself had marked the place where finally they would bury him, near the altar of the Dormition cathedral. On January 1, 1833 Father Seraphim came to the church of Saints Zosimas and Sabbatius one last time for Liturgy and he received the Holy Mysteries, after which he blessed the brethren and bid them farewell, saying: “Save your souls. Do not be despondent, but watchful. Today crowns are being prepared for us.”

On January 2, Father Paul, the saint’s cell-attendant, left his own cell at six in the morning to attend the early Liturgy. He noticed the smell of smoke coming from the Elder’s cell. Saint Seraphim would often leave candles burning in his cell, and Father Paul was concerned that they could start a fire.

“While I am alive,” he once said, “there will be no fire, but when I die, my death shall be revealed by a fire.” When they opened the door, it appeared that books and other things were smoldering. Saint Seraphim was found kneeling before an icon of the Mother of God with his arms crossed on his chest. His pure soul was taken by the angels at the time of prayer, and had flown off to the Throne of the Almighty God, Whose faithful servant Saint Seraphim had been all his life.

Saint Seraphim has promised to intercede for those who remember his parents, Isidore and Agathia.

[Text by OCA]

Forsaking the beauty as well as the corruption of this world, you settled in the monastery of Sarov, O Saint. There you lived an angelic life, becoming for many the way to salvation. Therefore, Christ has glorified you, Father Seraphim, enriching you with abundant healing and miracles. So we cry to you: “Save us by your prayers, venerable Seraphim, our father.”

#Saint Seraphim of Sarov #Christianity #Orthodox Christianity #Saints #Prayer

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fundielicious-simblr · 11 months ago

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🌲🍁🥧 Harvestfest 🌲🍁🥧

(Britanny's POV)

The whole family again! We gathered at my parents house this year, and when we're here we all stay in their house in our old rooms so it's like a giant sleepover. The kids love being at granny and papa's house, they get to stay up late and eat all the sweet treats that they want to. Being in Newcrest also means they hang out with their 'cousins', technically their second cousins but in the end we're all family. My parents have been spending their time going round to see all of us, they swap visits to Britechester with Abbey and Adam, they come to Windenburg to see us, and they head into Willowcreek to see Tanner and Tabitha.

Abbey (31) & Adam Hill (31)

Abbey and Adam are still splitting their time between Sulani and Britechester, they've recently mentioned taking a more permanent position so they can have more stability. It's definitely something they're praying about as it would involve a big change for them. They haven't said anything about children, but they said maybe once they stop moving around so much..

Colton (33), Brittany (31), Nicole (6), Elizabeth, (2)

We are just loving life and thanking the Lord for his goodness! Nicole turned 6 so we've gone headfirst into homeschooling, we spend our mornings and part of the afternoon reviewing and learning new bible verses for memorisation. Colton's mum Vanessa is great at doing extra reading with the girls, Nicole reads aloud to her every evening before we have dinner either in person or they'll video chat. My parents also video chat with the kids so they can do their scripture memory together. Colton and I are thankful for strong foundations that point us to the Lord constantly, almost everyone in our lives does so and for that we are thankful.

Tanner (28), Tabitha (23), TJ (2), and Ember (6m)

Tanner and Tabs have had a great year, earlier in the year they welcomed little Ember to their family. Tanner and Tabitha are overjoyed to have a little girl and TJ is such a doting big brother. Apparently the inspiration for her name was her inheriting her mother's red hair, maybe our mum's genes also helped contribute to her hair colouring. Tanner marrying a redhead is so on point as it seems we're almost at an even split between redheads and non redheads - he's outnumbered in his house. With them living in Willowcreek, Tabitha gets to see her family often as they still live there, but after much prayer and consideration Tanner has decided to take a job at Newcrest General hospital so the family is moving back to our hometown.

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dailyaudiobible · 1 year ago

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07/01/2023 DAB Transcript

2 Kings 18:13-19:37, Acts 21:1-17, Psalms 149:1-9, Proverbs 18:8

Today is the 1st day of July welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian and it is wonderful to be here with you today as we walk into the seventh month of the year together. Today is the 182nd day of the year. And we reached the halfway point yesterday as we ended the month of June. And, so, here we are launching ourselves into the second half, the second half of the Scriptures, the second half of the year as the adventure continues. And we concluded our first half of the year with a somber…with a couple of kind of somber and more sobering stories. In the Old Testament, the Assyrians conquered the northern kingdom of Israel and carried all of its people into exile, thereby bringing an end to the northern kingdom of…of Israel. And, so, as we move forward now there is no northern kingdom of Israel. And then in the book of Acts we saw Paul sailing back through Ephesus and the leaders of the church at Ephesus coming to see him as he continues his journey back toward Jerusalem. And he lets them know that they will never be able to see each other again in that life, in this life in person. The Holy Spirit has given Paul some advance words about what he will face as he continues his journey to Jerusalem. And we’ll all get to experience that as we continue in the days ahead. But that's how we kind of landed our first half of the year. And let's step forward into the second half. And that obviously leads us right where we left off and that happens to be the book of second Kings. And today we’ll read chapters 18 verse 13 through 19 verse 37.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You. We thank You for Your word. And here at the threshold as we begin this brand-new shiny sparkly month and move into the back half of the year we…we are grateful. We are humbled by Your generosity toward us and loving us and caring for us and being patient with us and guiding us and directing us. We are grateful for all that You have done in our lives thus far in the year and we are also declaring that we are open and look for…looking forward to all that You will teach us and all of the things that You will reveal to us as You continue to direct us forward. May we have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a willing heart to obey we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is homebase, that is the website, that's where you find out what's going on around here. And here we are in the month of July.

And, so, just a few days from now, the 7th day of July, which is a week from yesterday, the 7th day of July is our own little Global Campfire holiday around here that we love…lovingly call the Daily Audio Bible long walk because that's…that's what it is. It's that. It's this day on the calendar that we carve out that we defend, that we take because we need…because we need it. It's a day for our hearts. It's a day for God. It's a day to go for a long walk, bringing our full presence, our hearts and walking with God giving ourselves to Him again. Going for a long walk, the kind of long walk that you do when you're in love with somebody. The kind long walk, right, hand in hand, slow stroll, maybe even fast-paced. Doesn't really matter. The point is together. And on those walks time goes away. Like wasting time…like what we would think of as time wasted away from productivity is actually time invested into actual life and relationship, what we are made for, what we are working so hard for. It's a day to say that's my day. It's the middle of the year. I need to regroup. I gotta second half of the year I gotta live. I cannot go blindly into that. I gotta lot that’s going on inside of me. I'm going to go and spend the day with the wonderful counselor, the mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of peace. I'm gonna spend my day and I’m gonna say at all and I’m gonna listen, and I’m gonna listen and obey. So, that's a beautiful thing to do. Go somewhere beautiful. Go for a long walk. Take the day. Spend it enjoying the lavish gift of the earth that God has given us that He offers to us each and every day. Enjoy it. Let it fill you up. Let it restore your soul. It's unbelievable even what birdsong can do to a person's mental health. So, everybody pick somewhere beautiful wherever you may be in the world. We’ll all be all over the world. We’ll be walking with God. Imagine that. Our community all over the world walking, literally walking with God. What makes it a community experience is that after we spend our day, maybe we took a picture while we were out there, maybe we took a video wherever we went. We want to remember the day ourselves and commemorate it ourselves and remember what God may have spoke to us ourselves. So, we come back to the Daily Audio Bible Facebook page - facebook.com/dailyaudiobible and we will have a post there on the 7th July for the long walk. And as we complete our long walks, we can come back and post our pictures and videos and stories and that makes a story all of its own, the story of the day, the story of us all going and walking with God and we can hear from each other and what we heard and what we saw. And its lovely. So, make plans for that. It's less than a week away. It's the 7th of July, this coming Friday. The Daily Audio Bible long walk.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you. Thank you. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you are using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, of course, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello I’ve been listener since I think about 2010. One of my good friends for a long time is laid up with cancer dying and I just ask for you all the pray for her. Her name is Katie and also for her girl. She's about 11. Lilly Ann. Katies in hospice. And anyway it's really heartbreaking and I don't know…I would love for the Lord to heal her. But I just ask for you all to pray for Katie and Lily Ann. Thank you.

Hi DAB family this is Rebecca from Missouri. I am brand new to the Daily Audio Bible having just found out about it a couple of weeks ago and I'm loving it. I'm praying with all of you. And I ask for your prayers. Today marks one month since my dad passed away. This happened on May 26th. He was 64 years old, and he died after having a series of four strokes over the course of just under a year. And my mom is 63 and they were married for 44 years. And my mom went straight from being a 19-year-old living with her parents to a 19 year old bride. So, being alone is new for her. And I ask prayers for my mom Julie. And she's a Christian and so was my dad. But this is hard on her big time. And, so, I ask that you pray that she gets friends to hang out with, finds things to do, keeps busy, goes traveling, all of the things that she can do now as a widow, that…that she just misses my dad less and less because it's hard on her right now. Lord just please protect my mom and love her. Let her know that there's so many people who love her and are there for her. She has neighbors, she has family. Let her know that she can lean on us all that she needs to and keep her from feeling like she's a burden because she's not, not at all. Thank you, Lord, for such a good mom and for giving me such a good dad in Jesus's name Amen. Thank you everyone.

Good morning DAB family this is mummy's Little Rock from Arkansas. I just wanted to call in. I listened to the June 25th prayer request for that day and Sharon from Tacoma WA called in. I believe that was your name. But her mom is now having to enter hospice and she was just feeling so overwhelmed. And Sharon I just…oh…I totally felt your call having gone through that with my mom 2-1/2 years ago, just feeling like, oh my goodness, I don't know what to do, I don't know what's gonna be best for her, the hospice care team. It was just all overwhelming and also very heartbreaking because we know the end was near…we knew the end was near. And, so, having to deal with all of that as well as being kind of thrust into making decisions was just so overwhelming. And your voice just took me right back to that moment where I had to make decisions for my mom as well, my brother and I. And I just want you to know that God hears you, that He loves you, and He's holding you. And although I kind of knew that…I always knew that but just…I just needed strength to get through and I would pray every single moment every day to just ask for strength. And I promise you the Lord will give that to you. He gave it to me. I don't know how I made it through without God. I know that He was there pushing me and pulling me and helping me to get through. So, just know that you're loved and you are supported and you will get through this as well. God bless you.

Hello DAB family, Bubba Dee from Tennessee currently in Minnesota. I want to pray for today June 27th Eyes of a Dove you're going through all those troubles with Ryland. Know that you're not the only one. Parenting for a high schooler for me personally has been the toughest time in my life and still walking through a few things. And I'm gonna lift you up dear sister. Heavenly father I'm asking for Ryland, I'm asking that he would come back to you, come back to understanding what responsibility is, come back to understanding what he is made for. Lord we wanna pray purpose for Ryland. I'm asking God that you meet him what he is. I pray his mom is praying and pouring and even losing it but that all of this would testify to him of Your love and of Your good plan for his life. Just that through the Eyes of the Dove, his mom, he would see how You care for him, how much You want him to succeed, how much You want him to be a person who's responsible and trustworthy and faithful. We bless him. As a community we lived Ryland up to you heavenly Father. We ask that he would come back to his senses. We now all this is possible. We saw this in the parable of the prodigal and it…

Morning DAB family this is Trucker Justin from Pennsylvania. I just listened to the June 18th podcast and heard Bernice request for his marriage and family. I'm telling you brother I was there last year separated from my wife and kids and I thought it was pretty much over but I pursued fellowship with my church and pursued God and He brought in some brothers into my life that have been through the same thing and they encouraged me and I just want to encourage you and pray for you. So, heavenly Father I would ask for Bernie and anyone else who's having trouble in their marriage, Father I pray that You would just soften hearts and reconcile these men and women together. Father, restore the love and the peace that they have in their marriages Father and if there's any sin that needs to be repented of and put away Father I pray that these men and women would have the humility to…to deal with that. So, heavenly Father we thank You for what You will do and I ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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lawrenceop · 2 years ago

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HOMILY for 34th Sat per annum (II)

Apoc 22:1-7; Ps 94; Luke 21:34-36

The Church has its own liturgical rhythm and pace, and so, even as the world seems to gear up for Christmas and the new year, the Church’s Liturgy strikes a different tone as we stand on the cusp of Advent – she calls us to slow down and be watchful. As Jesus says in the Gospel, “watch yourselves” or, looking to a different translation, “take heed to yourselves.”

The sense is that we should look after ourselves, indeed, we should be watchful of our own hearts and be careful not to let our hearts be “coarsened.” For a coarsened heart, weighed down or panicked by temporal cares, and so seeking to escape from life’s worries through drunkenness and other sensual pleasures, is a heart that becomes less sensitive to God; we become less open to the many opportunities to receive his graces; less attuned to his coming among us, and indeed we’re do not notice God’s Presence in our lives.

Christ the divine Physician, therefore, is our cardiologist, who counsels us to watch ourselves, to guard our hearts, by seeking refuge in his Sacred Heart. Thus he calls on us to stay awake and pray at all times. Prayer, therefore, is not an after thought or a desperate measure, not something that we squeeze in between the other pressing engagements or the more entertaining pursuits that consume our time and capture our hearts. Rather, prayer is necessary for our spiritual health, like the exercise the cardiologist recommends, and so the Church’s Liturgy calls us to slow down, to retreat from the world’s demands, and to pray. We’re called to be like St John the Beloved Disciple, who leaned against the breast of the Lord, and so let the heartbeat of Jesus set the pace for our lives. For this is what prayer does to us.

As Pope Benedict XVI said in a letter he wrote to seminarians, but which applies to every one of us: “When the Lord tells us to “pray constantly”, he is obviously not asking us to recite endless prayers, but urging us never to lose our inner closeness to God. Praying means growing in this intimacy. So it is important that our day should begin and end with prayer; that we listen to God as the Scriptures are read; that we share with him our desires and our hopes, our joys and our troubles, our failures and our thanks for all his blessings, and thus keep him ever before us as the point of reference for our lives.” These words seem to me good advice at the close of another liturgical year, calling us to centre ourselves around the Lord, even as St John saw him enthroned at the centre of the heavenly city, and so from Christ flows life, and healing, and fruitfulness. We are called to become that city, with Christ enthroned in the centre, and his light illuminating our minds and our actions. Our daily prayer, therefore, is Maranatha; Come, Lord Jesus! Come, and be the centre of my life.

As always, our model in prayer and discipleship is the Blessed Virgin Mary, to whom the Lord Jesus came so perfectly and uniquely when she said to the angel, Fiat mihi secundum Verbum tuum. And so, on this final day of the liturgical year, we look to Our Lady. For it is from Mary that we learn to take heed of ourselves and to guard our hearts; to refine our motivations and desires; and to turn to God so that his light might shine upon us.

Fittingly, therefore, next Saturday as Advent begins, we shall observe the devotions and reparation asked of us by Our Lady of the Rosary at Fatima. Here in the Rosary Shrine we do this every first Saturday of the month throughout the year, with prayer and meditation before the Blessed Sacrament, pondering the Word of God in silence, examining our hearts and going to Confession, receiving Communion in reparation for sins against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and then praying the Rosary together in the monthly Rosary procession as we carry blessed candles. These acts of reparation and prayer, prescribed by Our Lady, are intended to repair those hearts that have been coarsened; to attune us to God’s grace which convicts us of sin and converts us; and to fill us with the Presence of God through a worthy and well-prepared reception of the Sacraments.

Through the first Saturday devotions, we respond to the words of Christ in today’s Gospel: “Stay awake, praying at all times for the strength to survive all that is going to happen, and to stand with confidence before the Son of Man.” As ever, our Blessed Mother shows us the way to obey the Lord, and she leads us into a deeper intimacy with him.

#prayer #grace #First Saturday #devotions #Mary #reparation

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