#encountering weird adventures along the way

[thicctails]

I need more info on the get better children au, especially about when Bill shows up.

*rubs hands together* I finally got some extra time to draw up some new art for this AU, so let's give it some substance >:3 Long post below the read more with extra art :D

Before Euclydia was destroyed, Euclid and Scalene Cipher were some of its most powerful members. Bill saying that everyone loved him as a baby was true for a time; children aren't born very often, and the Ciphers are considered to almost be royalty. It wasn't until Bill's mutation became apparent that people began to shun him. If he had been born to any other family, he likely would have been abandoned.

Though neither Euclid nor Scalene could really comprehend the concept of something being "up", let alone what "stars" could possibly be, both of them used their status to try and find any scrap of forbidden information, hoping that they could find an answer, could find some confirmation that their son wasn't crazy, and didn't need to be blinded by his "medicine."

It was this research that eventually saved their lives. Having the knowledge that it was possible for things to, hypothetically, exist in a three dimensional plane allowed them to pool their powers and create 3D forms for themselves when Euclydia began to burn, pulling themselves off the 2D plane like a sticker being peeled off a page. It wasn't a smooth transition in the slightest, and the flames managed to damage parts of their bodies before they managed to fully free themselves. The rest of their power went into escaping their collapsing reality, and when all was said and done, they were left near catatonic and floating in the space between time and space for many, many years.

They don't really start to recover until a certain frilly guy upstairs nudges them into a new, stable dimension. This one is almost entirely 3D, and inhabited by creatures that look completely alien to the Euclydians. Creatures called humans.

They meet Dipper and Mabel not long after, and the two triangles attach themselves to the babies, doing their best to care for them in their weakened states when their young, unprepared parents fail to be adequate caretakers. Being 2D is far easier for them, so they stick to the walls like shadows and find ways to speak to the twins, slipping into videos and pictures, music and books, their forms changing slightly to match whatever media they slipped into. They teach Dipper and Mabel their colours, shapes, ABC's, ect, comfort them when they get sad or scared, and once they're old enough, how to do basic things like getting themselves food and water when they get left alone too long.

Neither Pines parent really notices their children making grabby hands and babbling at open air at first, though they do become a bit concerned when years pass and they still stare at walls and empty corners like there's something there.

Eventually, as we all know, the Pines twins get shipped off to a sleepy town in Oregon, and Euclid and Scalene are, of course, coming along to watch over their little stars. However, they become deeply uncomfortable when they start to see visages of their son carved into every room of the twin's temporary home.

It doesn't take long for the show's antics to start, but Grunkle Stan gets involved in the twins adventures far earlier because during The Inconveniecing, Euclid uses his ability to manipulate televisions to play one of those old PSA's on loop until he gets spooked enough to actually check on the twins, only to find them missing.

Eventually, through the help of Scalene using a radio to drag up an old advert for the Dusk 2 Dawn, he figures out where they are and arrives just in time to see the tail end of their ghostly encounter. Unable to deny his knowledge of Gravity Falls' weirdness, he and the twins have their Season 1 finale talk that night, and Dipper shows Stan Journal 3, which leads to all three of them searching for Journal 2 (Stan doesn't reveal the portal yet)

Bill gets summoned by Gideon like in Canon, but things veer wildly off course when, upon entering Stan's mind, Mabel asks him if he knows Euclid or Scalene. He freezes up upon hearing the names of his parents, and he immediately calls off the deal with Gideon, ripping himself out of Stan's Dreamscape. Before he can process what happened, he comes face to face with someone he's only seen in daymares for the past trillion years

Bill dips the fuck out once he realizes he's not hallucinating, disappearing to Axolotl knows where to do fun, productive things such as: scream, cry, break shit, sob on the floor, drink until the teeth in his eye ache, stare at the space between stars for days on end, and interrogate every single one of his henchmaniacs to see if they spiked his drink.

Mans has absolutely zero clue on how to navigate this situation, eventually settling on stalking the Pines because he genuinely cannot think of any possible way to approach his (apparently alive????) parents. How do you go about atoning for the extinction of your entire species?

Bill Cipher has never been one to do things for others for any other reason than to get something back, but he figures the best place to start is by protecting these fleshy human young that his parents seem so attached to.

Wait, would that make them siblings? Axolotl, he sure hopes not.

[cheeseceli]

Dates with Ateez

Pairing: Ot8!Ateez × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, reactions

Request: ateez and how/where they'd take you on a date

Warnings: mentions of food at Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Mingi's, Yeosang is an idol, some skinship at Mingi and Yunho's

A/n: idk why but for some reason I read the request as "first dates" instead of just "dates", so there are some mentions of first dates here and there lmao | daily click

Seonghwa - farmer's market

‌hear me out!!

‌this one would be very spontaneous

‌first of all he just wanted to cook something for you

‌but there are missing ingredients

‌and yes, he could go to the supermarket but that's boring

‌so!!

‌he calls you and you both go to your local farmer's market

‌one thing that you thought was gonna be quick and mundane just became a whole activity

‌mostly because of the cozy ambient and nice sellers, but especially because there was something so familiar and nice to have you by his side like that

‌it was so domestic

‌made him feel like a happily married man

‌so he makes a mental note to have more dates with you like this

‌and he also takes you home to make the most delicious dish ever known to mankind

‌(buys you fresh flowers from there)

Hongjoong - a walk around the city

‌i think this one would be totally unplanned

‌accidental even

‌like, you guys were supposed to only have lunch and go back to your jobs

‌but no one actually wants to do that right

‌so what starts with just a brunch turns into visiting every single store in the city very soon

‌and it's always so nice every single time

‌you guys constantly discover new spots on town because of this random walks you go to

‌and Hongjoong secretly loves it because even when he's alone, every single spot becomes a memory of you

‌soon enough the entire city is just something that is connected to you in every single way

‌and he obviously wouldn't complain about that

‌so it becomes a routine for him to just pick you up and adventure yourselves into new parts of the neighbourhood

Yunho - amusement park

‌you can't convince me that this isn't the most "yunho" thing ever

‌he would 100% take you on an amusement park

‌it provides you both a lot of time together and it's fun

‌and he's your laugh's biggest fan ever, so of course he needs you to smile

‌call it cliche but he would want to do the Ferris wheel kiss

‌not on your first date tho because he thought it'd be too much

‌but when you guys are already dating, he'd definitely do that

‌it almost becomes a tradition

‌at some point it's even funny because you'd look at a Ferris wheel and give each other knowing looks

‌and you know when there are those roller coasters and you can take a picture during the rides?

‌he always keeps those

‌not matter how blurry, how ugly or how weird it came out

‌he has a whole album with pictures like that

Yeosang - picnic

‌i feel like this would be more of a first date idea with him

‌that occasionally comes along every once in a while

‌but it's mostly about the first encounter

‌a low-key secluded part in the park, preferably close to a river

‌just something very calm and peaceful

‌where you could talk about everything and anything at once

‌maybe even play a game only the two of you

‌idk it feels so ideal

‌it's the peace he's been longing for and, considering his busy and hectic life as an idol, that's precisely what he needed

‌overall I think he would love dates that could provide him a bit of comfort

San - arcade

‌this would be so fun hear me out

‌it doesn't matter if it's your first or 639274th date, he will try to impress you

‌and he would probably succeed because he seems like the type of guy who can do everything

‌would win you plushies

‌or any other type of prize you can possibly win at arcades

‌and even though he's trying to impress you, there's still this playful competition between the two of you

‌even after years of dating it still feels like you both are just teenagers in love honestly

‌even a complete stranger would smile by seeing you both interacting in the arcade

‌after so many times going there, you guys must win some type of discount honestly

Mingi - movie night

‌here we're talking about a whole marathon of movies

‌with snacks and blankets for the two of you

‌in the dorms (he would kick the boys out of there)

‌and he would plan everything

‌he's actually quite proud of himself because he really thought of every single detail

‌and the atmosphere is just so cozy

‌besides the movies are your favourites with his favourites and some that you both planned on watching together

‌he realised that one could figure out a lot about somebody by just watching their favourite movies

‌anyways

‌the mood is super cool, you guys laughed a lot with your few comments in between scenes and you even cried together at some point

‌and if you do end up sleeping on each other's shoulders, it's not like he'd complain about that

Wooyoung - escape room

‌this right here is the perfect formula for chaos

‌just the two of you running, screaming and laughing uncontrollably

‌I can't think of something better than this

‌and considering you are in a relationship with Wooyoung, chaos is much needed

‌besides you never know how it works with him

‌sometimes he's working with you and then he's working against you

‌whatever the case is, you can bet it's gonna be fun

‌and you are always 1000% sure this will be a day you'll remember fondly after a while

‌even if all he remembers is how you fell when trying to escape from one of the actors

Jongho - karaoke

‌i'm almost sure I already wrote something like this

‌and I'm so right for that ngl

‌first, this is a fun date and not too cliche, but also not that odd

‌secondly, between songs you guys would be able to talk to each other and still have a nice activity to do afterwards

‌and lastly, he could showcase his vocals and hopefully woo you over with his abilities

‌so literally every single bit of it would be perfect

‌maybe just maybe, if he's feeling a bit too bold by the end of the session, he would serenade directly to you

‌with your favourite song perhaps

‌or maybe that would need to wait until your next date

‌because he is certainly hoping this will only be the first of many

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when they have a crush

Reminder that this is all fiction, this does not represent the members in real life!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | images 1, 2 and 3

[robin-evry]

Hey there, I have a request Yuu who is just like Falin from Dungeon Meshi for twst? (She's my favorite character even tho she is absent most of the series :'D)

Sure thing, she's also my favorite character

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍!𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 💡

Falin Touden (ファリン トーデン, Farin Tōden?) is the younger sister of Laios. Her consumption by a Red Dragon prompts the Touden party's latest expedition into the dungeon to rescue her

One of the sweetest NRC students I mean who wouldn't love this loveable person, they are sweet and understanding and will never raise their voices towards people.

Mother of the first years of the group, always keeping them in line as well if something goes wrong they go towards falin!yuu for advice or support.

Falin!yuu also have grown a bond with the ghost of the schools, you can always find them having a nice conversation in some situation falin!yuu would try to find ways to help them.

Has a fascination with biology, you can find them in the library studying the biology of magical creatures. They also have an interest in insects, they have multiple pet insects that they keep for research purposes or just for fun.

Clashed with Jamil fear of insects, falin adored insects meanwhile Jamil despises them so their views of how to get rid of them clash with each other. Meanwhile falin!yuu has a much gentler way of dealing with insects, Jamil will use fire to get rid of them.

Rook and falin!yuu would have conversations over their interest with magical creatures most of their conversation consists of magical creatures. Falin!yuu expertise in magical creatures biology made rook interested in them.

Falin!yuu are an average student, their grades are by far average as well as their magic but sometimes their grades will go down. Their main expertise is support and defensive magic with hints of draconic magic, during battles falin!yuu has protected the first years using their magic.

before joining NRC they were an adventurer with their older brother and also once studied at a magic boarding school. They tell tales of their time being an adventurer with their older brother and the creatures they encounter in the dungeon.

If you don't know, falin!yuu has a habit of hitting things with heavy objects since they lack physical strength.

Unlike the other students, falin!yuu uses a staff that looks like a street lamp, they are like a light that protects and guides people from the darkness of the night.

Pretty careless due to their selflessness, even tho it killed them they will protect their friends and families from any danger.

After school falin!yuu would usually go to the forest near the ramshackle dorm where they would meditate and have breath of fresh air, grim also tag along with them to make sure they were safe.

Malleus and them get along and usually have a conversation together during school or after school, falin!yuu would also walk around NRC with him admiring and listening to his fascination with gargoyles.

Due to falin!yuu growing up isolated and alone most of their childhood, they give small trinkets to their friends like acorns, leafs, flowers and other things as an appreciation towards their Friendship. Some might find it weird but some would grow to understand and appreciate these small gifts

[pm-my-beloved]

heyo! i've doing some analysis on some lcb egos in my spare time but i can’t for the life of me figure out a semi decent analysis of wingbeat ishmael, so i wanted to see if you have any analysis on wingbeat! [sorry if this comes off weird! >.<]

I was asked about EGO analysis in DM's! I have made it! Preface, as stated earlier, I am not an Ishmael scholar, having read only a few chapters of her book as of now, but I will still try my best in interpretation

Lets start with what Fairy Festival itself is as an abnormality. They are the originators of the "Fairy" abno cathegory, where every abnormality has heavy ties to gluttony and predation, If I recall correctly, all of them also use trickery to try to lure their prey in, attempting to appear as hospitable. An interesting divergence that happens with Fairy Festival specifically, is that its Ruina form, and in Limbus, is more openly predatory, AND FAMISHED. My personal reading on it is that in a perfect enviroment for them, they are such hyperpredators that they run out of prey, putting them into starvation.

So, how does that relate to Ishmael? Partially it can be explained by my post about predatory themes in Ishmael when making prediction for the Christmass E.G.O., so I will focus on alternative angle of interpretation.

Remember who was Ishmael BEFORE even the voyage? She was a feather, so utterly bored with her existance that she sought out ANY way out of her current life, one could even say that she was starved for excitement. This goes along with early book presentation of Ishmael, where the character seeks to go out on voyage specifically because he's about to go nuts from boredom.

So what did our Ishmael do? She hard jumped onto ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS JOBS IN THE CITY, HUNTING MERMAIDS AND WHALES, Literally a form of predation of humanity upon natural life, solely to satiate that hunger inside for some adventure.

I believe of course, that this exists ALONGSIDE the Ishmael being perfectly suited to be a predator in her own right within the city, even with a persona of proffesionalism.

When it comes to her Awakening line "Very good. Sit still and be gentle. Scarred meat isn't... tasty." I think its mostly the abnormality channeling her metaphorical hunger into a more literal one.

Corrosion is more interesting on the other hand "Y-you suspected me, didn't you...? Bastards harboring such evil thoughts must be...!" This, together with the fact that Corrosion gains bonuses from harming its allies, leads me to specific line of thought. Throughout the story of Limbus and her Identities, we see how strongly Ishmael attempts to keep up her facade of detachment and professionalism. Thus, I think this might partially be a clue that Ishmael is very averse towards her persona being seen through, not wanting others to see her thriss seeking behaviour for what it truly is, even if she herself is unaware of it.

Lets move onto Sin costs now shall we? At 3 cost we have Gluttony, which just plainly makes sense as going out of ones way to get more thrill and excitement than one is exposed to is pretty gluttonous behaviour. Then we have 2 Pride cost, which is somewhat difficult of a read to me. The main one thought that comes to mind is a sense of superiority over other living beings that would be required to pursue hunting as ones way of life when its not some need (As opposed to bloodfiends) And lastly, we have 1 Lust cost, which in my opinion, reflects how Ishmael in spite of everything, genuenly enjoyed, and still enjoys, the thrill of the hunt.

The last aspect that is to read, is the Sin Resists. Pride Fatal, with weakness to pride being emotional subservience, imho relates to how Ishmael upon getting onto the voyage let her decisions be guided entirely by Ahab at the time. Envy Fatal I believe could reflect either the judgementality she put onto Ahab after the encounter with Pallid Whale, OR judgementality towards her own previous way of life that she grew so bored with. Gluttony ineffective I think reflects how in that life, her need and pursuit of that excitement were satisfied, not having to go out of her way in pursuit of more. And finally, Lust Endured comes from the reluctance that came from realisation of the struggles and issues that come from both being a sailor, and being Ahabs sailor specifically, she was not completly seduced by that world, which is also partly why managed separate herself from the crew after the failed attempt to defeat Pallid Whale. Phew, thats it. I hope this made some sense.

[otterneuvillette]

✧ WE'RE HERE FOR YOU ! ✧

⋆🌼🃏— Pairings: tighnari x gn! reader x cyno (can be read as platonic or romantic, pick your poison :0)

⋆🌼🃏— Sypnosis: You have been targeted by a group of Eremites for unknown reasons, so for your safety and the sake of their worries, you have been staying with Gandharva Ville. Here's how your life has become since then.

⋆🌼🃏— content: gn! reader, mentions of injury and just fluffy with light angst.

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It happened all so suddenly.

You were a Rtawahist researcher, one of the best of your years. You went on an expedition to the desert with a team of adventurers to research the sudden change of movement of the stars.

Along the way, you and your team had a couple of gnarly encounters with the same group of Eremites, which was weird, why are they so intent to capture your group? As far as you know, none of you had offended them or made them feel threatened.

Until they finally captured you while the others were sleeping.

"Come on, give us your research papers and your Mora, and we won't hurt your pretty little head, yeah?" One of them spoke with a gruff voice.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

"Archons! Why do you need my research paper so badly?! Like I understand if you wanted just my Mora, but my research papers??" You exclaimed.

"We don't have to give you our reasons, brat."

They stood up and stabbed the dagger they were holding into a crate next to you.

Thump.

"Just give us the damn papers before things get ugly, you hear me?!"

You shook your head stubbornly.

"No! I worked hard on those, I will not let you have it!" You yelled.

They let out a sound of annoyance.

"Fine, I'll just do this the hard way then." They lifted the dagger up again, it's chilling glint underneath the desert moon made you shiver.

But you'd rather die than let them have it.

You closed your eyes, preparing for a moment of pain that never came.

A groan of pain echoed in your ears, and the sound of cold metal clashing made you open your eyes.

Sliver hair filled your vision along with flashes of purple lightning. You were dazed by its familiarity as a thought crossed your mind.

Cyno.

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That was a week ago.

Cyno told you that your expedition had lasted an extra week than you wrote in your letters. He went looking for you out of concern, and he had found your team and they told him that you disappeared overnight and that the group of Eremites that were terrorizing you and them.

You thanked him with dinner and a couple of rounds of TCG, which you lost, miserably.

And you managed to hand over your research papers to your professor before the deadline.

A win-win situation one might think, right?

Wrong.

Because when you get home from running some errands—

—most of your house was burned down.

All your equipment, your research books are half burned into a crisp.

You felt yourself holding back a scream.

No, this is not the time for an emotional breakdown. You ran inside what's left of your home, as you took whatever you could save in it.

Photo albums, important documents, your boxes of trinkets, anything.

You groaned softly as you cursed yourself for getting a place further out in the city in the first place.

By the sevens, who could be this cruel to do this?!

After a couple of hours, you salvaged quite some stuff. But you were glad that the box was unscathed from the fire, it held all of your precious trinkets that you kept growing up. Everything that they had given you.

You dragged your stuff into a cart that you kept in your yard and headed towards the city. Along the way, you passed by a certain blonde haired traveller who helped you with your other stuff that you hadn't managed to fit into the cart.

When you arrived, you managed to get yourself a place to stay for a while. And without wasting any time, you reported what happened to the Matra. They told you that they will open an investigation as soon as possible. You thanked them as you went back to the place you were staying.

Moments later, you heard a knock on the door, and you opened to find a worried Tighnari and also a serious-looking Cyno.

"Hey, we heard what happened, are you okay?" Tighnari asked you, his ears twitching slightly.

You nodded quietly, too tired to give him a proper response.

"I have some leads to who's the culprit that burnt down your house." Cyno said sternly.

You looked up, curious to hear his answer.

"The group of Eremites that terrorized your team a week ago might have been the ones that did it." He said.

You sighed defeatedly.

"Honestly, I was dreading that. Archons, I have no idea why they are coming for me and my work." You sighed, slumping on the bed.

Tighnari approached you and placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

"You should lay low for now. I suggest you find a safer place to stay, they may still be on the lookout for you." Cyno said softly, feeling quite sympathetic for you.

"You could stay with me? I'm sure Collei would be happy to see you again..?" Tighnari offered. His tail swished gently,as he looked at you with concern.

"I agree with Tighnari, you'll be safer staying with him." Cyno nodded.

"Meanwhile, I'll lead the investigation, I'll make sure the culprit will get the judgment they deserve." He added.

"Fine, I'll stay with 'nari. But only, until I repair my house." You said, sighing.

Both of them nodded in agreement, as you stood up to follow them to Gandharva Ville.

"Let me help you with your cart," Tighnari said, already holding on to it.

You thanked him, while Cyno informed the nearby Matra to gather information about the incident.

You hoped that this matter would be over soon.

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It's been a few weeks since then, whoever did the crime was insanely good at keeping their tracks clean, it even had the General Mahamatra stumped.

Yet, both Tighnari and Cyno did their best to help you take your mind off it, they didn't want to see you stress yourself sick.

You'd just been in your room, minding your own business, when you started to hear voices coming from the living room of Tighnari's house. You decided to go out to the living room to check out what was going on.

"Well, you see, it's funny because-" Cyno seemed to be explaining some dumb joke.

"Oh, archons! Stop with the terrible jokes already!" Tighnari groaned, but his ears perked up when he saw you enter the room. "Make him stop, please!"

"Cyno....please behave?" You whispered quietly, clearly exhausted from the house repairs the day before.

Cyno's playfully pouted, but he sighed and gave in to your gentle request.

"I suppose I can behave myself. For now, at least."

He smiles at you affectionately and then turns his gaze to Tighnari, whose eyebrows were furrowed.

"What's with that face, 'nari? Are you having a headache again?" You said worriedly, hastily approaching where he was sitting.

Tighnari nods slightly, a small frown appearing on his face. "Yes. It's been a long day. The headache seems to be getting worse every day. Archons, I wish they'd go away." He sighs quietly, his ear flicking down in displeasure as you move closer to him.

"Hmm....maybe you should take a break... I'll talk with the other rangers, Let me help you with the patrols for the week." You immediately offered, without even a stutter or hesitation.

Tighnari blinks his eyes in surprise at your eagerness to help. He shakes his head slightly, a small smile appearing on his face. A soft, affectionate gaze wanders over your face.

"No, no. I'll be alright. You know I'm tougher than I look," he tries to protest, but you can tell from his expression how much your offer means to him.

Cyno steps forward and places a hand on Tighnari's shoulder. "Come on, Tighnari. Take a break for once."

"See? Even the General Mahamatra agrees with me. So, just sit tight and rest. Let me handle the rest."

Tighnari sighs and looks up at you then at Cyno, then sighs again, giving in. A slight smile forms on his face as he looks back at you, clearly relieved.

"Alright, alright. I suppose I can take a few days off. But you better not overwork yourself," he relents, his tail flicking slightly.

Cyno smiles and nods affirmatively. "That's better. You look like you haven't slept in days," he comments as his hands gently brush back Tighnari's hair to examine his face.

"I promise I won't overwork myself. I can handle the patrols for a few days. Don't worry, 'nari. I'll be fine," You reassure him, offering a comforting smile.

Tighnari lets out a quiet sigh and closes his eyes, clearly exhausted, his ears slumping down a little.

"Alright, alright. I trust you. Just..." He reaches out and takes your hand, squeezing it gently. "Take care of yourself, okay?" Cyno watches the scene with a fond smile and adds. "Yeah, don't do anything reckless. We both know how you get when you don't take proper breaks."

"It's not really that bad, guys! I promise." You whined playfully, before patting Tighnari's shoulder.

"Let me go make you some herbal tea. I've acquired some new medicinal tea from Liyue from my pen pal." You said excitedly.

Tighnari smiles faintly as you pat his shoulder, his ears twitching slightly in appreciation.

"Thank you. That would be very helpful," he says quietly, clearly grateful for your offer.

Cyno, meanwhile, gives you a slightly teasing smile. "Yeah, sure. And maybe don't forget to take care of yourself, okay? We don't want you getting sick, too. You're not immune to everything either," he adds, his tone playful and affectionate.

"Says you, Mr. "Oh no, I have fallen ill because I refuse to wear proper clothing during cold desert nights!" Seriously, Cyno. You should let me knit you a blanket or something." You huffed as you started brewing the tea, filling the small space with a light jasmine scent.

Cyno groans quietly, a little embarrassed that you've brought up the incident again. His arms crossed defensively, but he can't help but chuckle.

"I'm fine with my clothes, thank you very much," he responds, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "Besides, I like the feel of the desert air against my skin. Even the cold is refreshing." Tighnari, meanwhile, chuckles softly at the exchange, his ears perking up in amusement.

He raises an eyebrow at Cyno, his tone lighthearted.

"You're always insisting that your immune to everything, but look at you. You're just as susceptible as the rest of us," he points out, a fond smile on his face.

Cyno sighs and chuckles, unable to argue with that.

"Fine, fine. I see your point. But... I still enjoy the cold air."

You chuckled, shaking your head.

"Sit down, Cyno. I'm bringing the tea over." You called out.

Cyno sighs and obeys, flopping down on the couch next to Tighnari. His lips curled as he heard your lighthearted chuckle.

"I guess you're right," he admits, leaning back on the couch and stretching his arms. "But I'll still take my chances with the desert air. As long as you brew me some tea to help me when I get sick." Tighnari glances over at you, amusement is evident in his expression.

"The things I'd do for the both of you."

Cyno chuckles, a fond smile spreading across his face.

"And we appreciate it. We really do," he reassures you.

Tighnari nods in agreement, his expression softening. "You always take such good care of us, even when we're too stubborn to admit it," he adds, his tail flicking gently against the couch.

Cyno glances at Tighnari, then back at you, a grin spreading on his face.

"Yeah, you're practically a miracle worker. Always knowing when we need a helping hand, even when we're too proud to ask for it."

Tighnari laughs quietly and nods in agreement. "We're lucky to have you around. Who else would put up with our nonsense?"

"You're being too sweet, just drink the tea already!" You said softly, flushing slightly.

They both chuckled at your reaction.

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"This is delicious. You've outdone yourself this time," Cyno compliments you.

Tighnari nods in agreement, his expression softening as he takes a sip. "Yes, it's so soothing. You're quite a talented herbal tea brewer."

"Thanks, I'm just gonna leave you two to it. I have an appointment with Kaveh soon, so I need to prepare some supplies."

Cyno raises an eyebrow, a teasing smirk spreading across his face.

"Kaveh, huh? What are you two getting up to?"

He takes another sip of tea, his tone lighthearted and playful.

"It's not what you think. I'm just going over my house plans with him. I'm repairing my house because a part of it got burned down, remember? The arson case a few weeks ago? The reason why I've been staying with Tighnari since then?"

Cyno's teasing expression quickly turns to one of concern.

"Right, of course. My apologies for teasing. I remember that case. How's the repairs going?" he asks you.

Tighnari nods in agreement and his ears perk up slightly as well. "Yeah, I hope you're not having too much trouble with the rebuilding," he adds, a hint of worry evident in his voice.

"Well, between having to acquire materials and trying to not break my back fixing it, I'd say it's going smoothly."

"I just hope that my savings are enough to cover for it. The prices of materials are insane." You sighed.

"But Kaveh has been helping out with finding affordable yet quality materials, so I think the repair would go as smoothly as I hope it to be," You reassured.

Cyno nods gently, relief is evident in his expression.

"Sounds like you're in good hands. Kaveh always has a knack for finding good deals. And as for your back, maybe you should take some breaks. Can't be overworking yourself with all this rebuilding," he teases lightly, a gentle smirk on his face.

"I know, I know, thank the Seven, Alhaitham offered to help me with my work, even if I didn't want him to, I could have perfectly done it myself,"

Tighnari nods in agreement, his ears perking up.

"Well, Alhaitham is somewhat of a difficult person to get along with sometimes, but I can't deny that he's quite considerate and helpful if the situation calls for it. Maybe he just wanted to return the favor you extended to him when you helped him in his research." He pauses for a moment, his expression softening. "But you should still take care of yourself. Don't overwork yourself, okay?" He adds, giving you a gentle look.

"I will. I'm going to head out now, so I'll see you tonight, 'nari and you later, Cyno." You said softly and waved the two of them goodbye.

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As you leave Gandharva Ville to meet up with Kaveh, Cyno, and Tighnari continue to chat in the living room over tea. Cyno shares a few jokes with Tighnari, who rolls his eyes but secretly smiles at the playful banter.

As night falls, the house feels a little emptier without your presence. Despite their easy-going demeanors, Cyno and Tighnari can't help but feel a slight sense of worry and longing for your return.

When you finally return home, the apartment is quiet. Cyno and Tighnari are just lounging around the living room. When they hear you enter, they perk their ears up slightly and look over at you. A wave of relief washes over both of them, and they can't help but smile at the sight of you.

Cyno greets you cheerfully as usual, while Tighnari gives you a gentle smile and a tail flick.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to run away from some angry group of Fungi on my way here." You said, catching your breath.

Cyno raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued.

"Angry Fungi? Sounds like quite the adventure. How many were there?" He asks, a serious glint in his eyes.

"A whole group of five huge Fungi. " You answered him.

Tighnari's expression softens and his ears twitch slightly. "Are you alright? Did you get hurt at all?"

You scratched your head bashfully, before looking at Tighnari.

"I might've....gotten a massive bruise on my back...."

Tighnari's expression immediately turns to one of concern upon hearing about your injury.

"Oh no... Let me see that bruise," he requests gently, taking a step closer to examine your back.

"I-I'm fine! I swear, 'nari!" You said hurriedly. taking a couple steps back.

"One of the Fungi headbutted me from the back while I was busy dodging the other ones."

Cyno raises an eyebrow at your insistence that you're fine.

"Headbutted, huh? You should be more careful. We can't afford to have you getting injured. Especially when we're not around to look after you," he remarks, his expression serious for a moment before his usual smile returns.

Tighnari's ears twitch, his concern still evident. "Regardless, let me just take a quick look to ease my worry," he insists gently.

"Fine, fine, just let me change into looser clothing first." You muttered.

Cyno nods in agreement, acknowledging your need for comfort.

"Alright, take your time. We'll be here when you're ready," he reassures you, his ear flicking a little. Tighnari gives you a reassuring smile and nods as well. "Yeah, no need to rush. Just take the time you need to change and then we can check your back. We want to make sure you're alright."

You quickly changed, and soon, Tighnari carefully guided you to the couch.

"How is it? Is it really bad?"

Tighnari examines your back, his fingers gently ghosting over the massive bruise that has formed there.

He winces slightly when he sees the extent of the injury but tries to maintain a calm demeanor. "It's a large bruise. You're going to have to take it easy for a few days to avoid aggravating it. I'll prepare some herbs to make a salve that can help speed up the healing process a little. In the meantime, try to avoid any unnecessary movement, okay?"

You sighed yet again. "I guess I have to postpone the repairs again....." You muttered under your breath.

Cyno overhears your muttered comment and his expression softens, sympathetic to your plight. He puts a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright. There's no rush. Your health comes first. We can figure out a way to handle the repairs later when you're feeling better."

Tighnari gives a nod of agreement and gently pats your back. "Yes, take it easy. Let us handle the repairs for now. You just focus on resting and getting better."

Cyno and Tighnari help you get comfortable on the couch, bringing you pillows and blankets to make sure you're as relaxed as possible.

Tighnari prepares a soothing salve to help reduce the pain and inflammation in your back, while Cyno grabs a cold pack from the freezer to press against the bruise.

They sit with you, keeping you company and making sure you're feeling alright. They chat with you softly, making lighthearted jokes and sharing stories to keep your mind off your pain.

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Eventually, Tighnari returns with the salve he prepared, and he carefully applies it to your back with gentle but firm movements.

As the salve works its magic, slowly reducing the pain and swelling, Cyno gives you a smile and speaks in a teasing tone.

"You know, maybe this is just what you needed. A little break to rest and relax. Maybe a few days off might not be so bad after all."

"But I was supposed to help you so you could take a break, 'nari!" You whined quietly, pouting.

Tighnari smiles at your pouting expression, amused by your stubbornness.

"I appreciate the thought, but sometimes life has other plans. Right now, the most important thing is for you to focus on recovering. Once you're back on your feet, you can help us all you want."

Cyno rolls his eyes playfully and adds in a joking tone. "Yeah, and speaking of being back on your feet, maybe you should try picking on smaller targets next time instead of those huge Fungi."

"It wasn't my fault they came on me in the first place, I don't even know why they were so irritated in the first place!"

Tighnari chuckles softly, trying to imagine you fending off a horde of angry Fungi.

"Fungi can be picky sometimes. And they tend to guard their territory fiercely. Perhaps you accidentally wandered into their turf without realizing it, and they took action accordingly."

"I was walking down the designated path to Gandharva Ville! The Fungi weren't there when I first passed by on my way to Sumeru City!!"

Cyno bursts out laughing upon hearing your playful defense.

"Ah, well, perhaps those particular Fungi took a sudden detour and decided to set up camp on your usual path without warning. Those mischievous creatures can be quite sneaky, you know," he teases.

"Whatever..." You groaned, voice muffled by your face planting into the pillow.

Tighnari grins at your reaction and gently pats your head.

"Don't be upset. We're just teasing. We know you did your best." He turns to look at Cyno, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "Cyno, why don't you make it up to them with one of your jokes? That'll surely lift their spirits."

"Please don't, can't you see I suffered enough? You guys are bullying me, I swear."

"Oh, don't worry, we're not bullies. We just believe in the healing power of laughter!" Cyno says proudly.

He takes a moment to think, then grins wider. "Hey, what do you call a snake with no legs?"

"What is it?" You groaned.

"An adder. Get it? Because it's a snake, and it has been 'added' without legs? Haha!" He laughs at his own joke, clearly pleased with himself. Tighnari hides a small chuckle with a cough. They both look at you, eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"I hate you guys...."

Cyno laughs even harder at your response, clearly enjoying your reaction to his terrible pun.

"Oh, come onnnn. Don't be like that. You know you love my sense of humor." He says with a smirk.

Tighnari can't help but smile at your groaning. He reaches out to pat your head softly, trying to soothe you.

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As the evening progresses, Cyno and Tighnari keep up the light banter, sharing jokes and stories to keep your spirits up.

Slowly, you start to relax, the stress from your injury fading away as their company puts you at ease. The room is filled with laughter, and a comforting atmosphere settles in. Cyno tells another terrible pun, and even though you try your best to maintain a scowl, you can't help but let out a small chuckle.

Tighnari notices your slight smile and grins at Cyno, silently signaling him that their efforts are working. They exchange a sly, knowing look, grateful that you are starting to feel better.

As the night drags on, the room gradually falls silent as you doze off into a contented, healing slumber. Even after you fall asleep, Cyno and Tighnari take turns watching over you, making sure you're as comfortable as possible. They can't help but share a warm, fond smile, appreciating the peace and tranquility of the moment.

Your healing progresses in the following days, Cyno and Tighnari take turns caring for you. Tighnari diligently prepares meals and soothing herbs to help with your recovery, and Cyno occasionally comes by to offer his own unique way of making you feel better – by sharing yet another one of his terrible puns.

Despite your protests, Cyno's jokes never fail to crack a dumb smile on your face, and you find yourself secretly looking forward to his visits, just to hear those awful puns.

Eventually, your injury starts to heal as the days turn into weeks. Your pain and discomfort gradually fade away, and the bruise on your back begins to yellow before finally disappearing completely.

Tighnari examines your back once again, his fingers lightly tracing the area where the bruise used to be, before nodding in satisfaction.

"Yup, it appears that you have fully recovered. The injury has healed nicely, and there are no signs of pain or discomfort left."

Just as you're about to express your relief and thanks, Cyno chimes in with a dramatic sigh.

"Ah, it's a shame that you've recovered so quickly. I was already working on a new series of puns to keep the cheer going."

Cyno remarks, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Tighnari rolls his eyes but can't help but smile at Cyno's antics.

"Oh yes, because your terrible puns were an absolute cure for all our ailments. We simply would be miserable without them," Tighnari retorts, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Cyno pouts, feigning offense at Tighnari's words. "Hey, they weren't that bad! And besides, I had a whole new stockpile ready to go."

"Maybe, some other time, Cyno." You giggled.

"Spoil sport," Cyno grumbles, crossing his arms in mock disappointment, but a smile creeps onto his face at your laugh.

Tighnari lets out a lighthearted chuckle, shaking his head at Cyno's antics. They both sit quietly for a moment, enjoying the light banter and the relief of your full recovery.

You felt relief knowing that no matter what, come rain or shine, both of them would go to the ends of Tevyat for you as you would do for them as well.

But for now, let's just enjoy the tranquility of the moment, shall we?

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extras:

Tighnari: hey, I noticed that you kept the pictures of our student years in the albums you have in your cart.

Y/N: of course I did, they're really precious to me.

*Cyno come closer and picks up a picture.*

Cyno:....hey, when did you take this photo of me passed out on Lambad's Tavern, and...wait...DID YOU SERIOUSLY BALANCE PLATES ON ME?!

Y/N: ......yeah, i'm just gonna leave- *sprints*

Cyno: OH NO YOU DON'T- *runs after Y/N*

Tighnari: *dies of laughter.*

[wcnderlnds]

my heart is so jet lagged | rory monahan

・❥・ summary: a long distance relationship with rory while he’s away filming isn’t the easiest ・❥・word count: 1.5k ・❥・warnings: nothing rly just a couple of swear words maybe ・❥・ authors note: hi i love rory and i wrote this in like an hour so 😭 i had a long distance relationship for two years and they are HARD

Another day, another missed call. It seemed to be happening more often lately. When Rory had first left for England three months ago, there wasn’t a single day that went by where you didn’t spend hours upon hours talking to each other on the phone. There had always been a set schedule and nothing would deter either of you from that. Slowly, as the weeks went by, it got harder and harder for the two of you to abide by that schedule. Either something came up on your end or Rory had to film — it sucked but that was life. Sometimes things didn’t go the way you wanted and you had to adjust to it. So, you tried. Those everyday phone calls turned to barely two a week and now you were lucky if you managed to speak to each other once a week. It was one of the worst feelings in the world feeling like you were losing someone you loved so much.

You had first met Rory two years ago at some Hollywood party you’d tagged along to. Your friend was a PA to the stars and was occasionally invited to those big, fancy shindigs that took place after award shows. The one party you had decided to attend happened to be the one that Rory had. It was a chance encounter — he’d been passing by and making some stupid joke and you’d laughed. Of course, he’d stopped and started chatting to you. That was Rory down to a tee. He was a social butterfly. He could make friends anywhere he went — bonus points if they found him funny. The rest of the night the two of you had drank, laughed, made fun of all the celebrities making idiots of themselves. It really had been a pleasant surprise. You’d half expected everyone there to be stuck up but Rory was far from it. He was a normal, down to Earth guy so it was no shocker when he left that night with your phone number.

Truthfully, you hadn’t expected anything of it but when you got a text from him the next day, you couldn’t have been more thrilled. Things escalated from there. He took you out on dates, you made things official and before you knew it the two of you were moving in together. Life with Rory was fun. Everyday felt like a new adventure, it was impossible to have a boring day when he was around.

That was why you felt so… empty now that he was gone.

The days dragged on. You found yourself feeling more exhausted, more irritated by everything around you. There was no smiling Rory to come home to after a hard day's work to make you feel better. There wasn’t even a phone call anymore. It felt like a heavy weight on your chest constantly weighing you down. The entire relationship was hanging on by a thread at this point and you so badly wanted to hang on to it but would it be better to cut it loose? Was Rory feeling the same way?

Throwing your purse on the couch, you sat down just as your phone rang out. Quickly, you pulled it from your purse, seeing Rory’s name on the screen. Your heart was pounding as you accepted the call.

“Herro!” His cheerful voice sounded out.

You could almost cry with how good it felt to hear his voice. “Rory!”

“Hey, babe. Sorry I’m calling at such a weird time but I wanted to hear your voice,” he stifled back a yawn. You could just picture him sprawled out wherever he was using the back of his to cover up his yawn.

“I… I miss you,” you whispered.

“I miss you, too, baby. You have no idea ho-“ He didn’t finish his sentence but you could hear muffled voices in the background then a second later Rory sighed into the phone. “Sorry, hot stuff, gotta go. I’ll call you again tomorrow. I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you, too,” you sighed. The phone call ended and once again you went to bed that night with a heavy heart.

Rory didn’t call the next day but he had sent a text telling you that he had a busy day on set but he’d try to check in when he could. Everyday without him was getting harder and harder. You knew when he got this big job and was flying across the other side of the ocean that it would be hard. You just didn’t think it would be this hard. Rory was the love of your life, he meant everything to you but sometimes you had to let go of the things you loved. Inside your brain you were fighting every single day between holding on or giving up.

One night when you called and he picked up, you couldn’t handle it anymore, trying to explain how you felt but it all came out in a jumble of words. At first the phone call had been normal — small talk and him telling you about his days but it only made you miss him more so you ended up word vomiting.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Rory. Every single day without you is like a knife to my heart. It hurts and… this isn’t me being selfish because I love you and I’m so, so happy and proud of you for doing what you love but… we’re growing more and more apart every single day. We barely speak and when we do it feels… strained. Maybe…. maybe this isn’t work anymore,” you choked back a sob. If this is what heartbreak felt like then you hated every single second of it. It felt like your heart had been ripped out, stomped on then put back in.

“Babe, no,” Rory instantly panicked. “I know it’s hard b-but we’ll be okay. We can make this work. Please. Please don’t do this.”

Tears were falling freely down your face now. “I… dont know, Rory. I just don’t know.”

“…okay,” he sounded deflated, like his whole world had fallen apart. “I’m sorry.”

The phone call ended and, once again, you went to bed but this time not with a heavy heart but a broken one.

Getting out of bed the next day was hard. All you wanted to do was bury your head in your pillows and sleep the day away. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to think about the hurt in Rory’s voice or how you’d just lost the best thing you’d ever had. A day in bed sounded great but the insistent knocking at the door was enough to make you get out of the comfy confines of your safe haven. Pulling the front door open, you were greeted with the fiery red hair that you were so fond of.

“Ro-“ You started but he stopped you by obnoxiously placing his finger on your lips to shush you.

“Let me talk. By the way, sorry for knocking, couldn’t find my keys and then I tried to climb in through the kitchen window but you’ve locked it which is smart. You’ve always been the smart one. We’re like Pinky and the Brain. You’re the brain and I’m the dumb one that just goes along with everything you do…. okay, I’m rambling,” he laughed half heartedly. “Look, last night, that phone call? It was the worst moment of my life. The feeling of losing you? I never want to experience that shit again. No job is more important than you. I need you to know that you are and always have been the number one thing on my mind. Seriously, what was that thing Taylor Swift said? Living in my head rent free, that’s you.”

“Rory…”

“Not done, babe. I love the shit out of you. So much so that I literally hopped on a plane the second we hung up last night so I could come and see you. I’m honestly not sure what time or day it is right now but that doesn’t matter because I’m here with you. Don’t give up on us… on me. Please.”

The sincerity in his eyes brought tears to yours. The last few weeks really had been an emotional rollercoaster but here he was right in front of you fighting for you. How could you give this man up? “I don’t want to. I just… couldn’t take it. The not talking, the being so far away from each other. I love you so much. I was trying to protect my heart and failing really badly.”

“We’ll make it work, okay?” He stepped inside, kicking the door closed behind him and taking your hands in his. “I can come visit you, you come visit me and we’ll get back to calling each other every night. This isn’t happening again.”

“I like the sound of that,” you smiled.

“Now, what’s it gonna take for a guy to get a kiss after a big romantic gesture like this?” Rory grinned as he grabbed your hips and pulled you into him. With a laugh - and a healed heart - you pressed your lips against his for the first time in months. It felt like home, like everything was going to be okay.

list (ask to be added or removed): @ldydeath @jazz-berry @lemoniiiiiii @bohnerrific69 @honeymoon8 @lacucarachapisser @evanpetersbf

[harocat]

Why People (Especially Gay People) Should Watch Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Thirty plus year old former greatest martial artist in the world, Li Lianhua, travels around in a poor man's version of Howl's Moving Castle dispensing sometimes quack, sometimes seems to be pretty accurate medical care to people throughout the land for a quick buck. He is dying a potentially preventable death because he was poisoned ten years ago and refused to seek treatment from his martial arts sect because he felt like he let them down (a lot of them died, and they think he died too). Hopefully he doesn't die for real at the end. He's been stripped of 90% of his martial arts powers, so he basically is just some guy. He does not GAF about almost anything. He likes to cook. He's smarter than everyone. He's our hero.

He has a cute dog by the way. Its name is Fox Spirit, but it is very much a dog.

Along the way he meets Fang Duobing, an annoying, oblivious to class consciousness (but still lovable) rich kid who makes it his mission to travel together with Li Lianhua so they can solve crime. He has huge puppy energy. He wants to be an official detective, and he needs LLH to help him out. He has a serious case of heart eyes for his shifu, and he shows zero interest in any woman ever. He believes, due to a previous encounter, that he's destined to be Li Xiangyi's student in martial arts. Oh and Li Xianygi is Li Lianhua's true identity, so he's kind of like, FDB's shifu twice over. He has no idea that LLH is actually the swordsman of legend.... yet.

Along the way they solve murder mysteries and also get involved in tomb raiding adventures complete with Indiana Jones style booby traps, backstabbing, and weird, creepy kids.

By the way, LLH's archrival from a decade ago, before he left the martial arts world, was Di Feisheng. He leads up an alliance that LLH's was pitted against, and one that was viewed as a scourge in the martial arts world.

LLH's last battle before his 'death' was with DFS, so the martial world believes DFS killed him, as does DFS. Di Feisheng finds him again, and is super DTF (fuck, or fight? actually both), but when he finds out that LLH lost his martial arts powers, he makes it his mission to restore them so they can have the final showdown they deserve.

The fight scenes rule.

Were they friends in the past before they became rivals? We don't know yet. All we know is that they have extreme divorced energy, and DFS wants nothing more than to get remarried. He's gay. He's so gay. He's legitimately confused when he finds out that LLH has an ex girlfriend. He's seriously like 'I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN WOMEN.'

You bet your ass LLH is wearing a wedding dress here.

So all three of them travel together to solve murders, which they do, with aplomb. The whole time DFS pretends he doesn't care while making moon eyes at LLH and making sure no harm ever comes to him. Fang Duobing is confused and probably jealous.

Yeah he really did pledge to marry Li Lianhua in like, episode two.

He also, at that point, has NO idea the true identity of either of them.

Right now DFS is no longer traveling with them, but I believe he'll be back to them soon (he's still plenty involved in the story and present), and the three will continue their shenanigans. And anyway, he's still annoying LLH despite them not traveling together (to be fair, pretty much everyone annoys LLH). There's also sect drama! Secret alliances! Completely wack murder mysteries! And always with a side-dish of heavy homo. They're going to be the best found family.

There's eighteen episodes of forty out right now, and it's streaming on IQIYI or wherever you choose to pirate your Chinese Dramas. It's EXTREMELY entertaining every single episode; funny, addictive, and yeah, pretty gay.

[whisker-biscuit]

Sonic Big Bang 2024

Close Encounters of the Grim Kind

Rating: Gen

Summary: Sonic did end up telling his friends about the Shatterverse, but it’s clear to Tails that he's still hiding something. In an effort to find answers and with Shadow’s reluctant help, he uses the Paradox Prism to create a device capable of jumping dimensions. When he sends it out, however, what was meant to be a one-way trip returns to him with a cryptic greeting from a stranger who seems interested in researching the dimensions with him.

Now, Tails finds himself trying to solve two mysteries - why Sonic is acting so weird around him, and who this unorthodox, anonymous cross-dimensional pen pal really is.

It's a lot harder than it looks.

--------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

The day Sonic finally told his friends about the Shatterverse and all that entailed within it, Tails had no idea how significant it would truly end up being.

He, his brother, Amy, and Knuckles were gathered together at the beach. The fox was in the pilot seat of the plane, adjusting some of the inner controls, while everyone else lounged about. They all listened with rapt attention as Sonic described the disaster that would have happened had he smashed into the Paradox Prism – the disaster that had already happened, if events were to be believed.

Frankly, it wasn’t very hard to go along with the idea. Weirder stuff went on in their lives at least twice a year; dimensional and/or timeline shenanigans sounded like par for the course.

“A bunch of miniature dimensions, huh?” Tails drummed his fingers against his screwdriver, thinking about the logistics of such a thing. Alternate universes were an aspect of quantum physics that he’d never delved very deep in.

“Yep! There was a pirate dimension, a jungle dimension, and even a dimension with five Eggmans!” Sonic shuddered and stuck out his tongue. “I always thought ours was bad enough, but then I met an Eggman baby. That’s one memory I’ll never be able to get rid of.”

“Did you kick the Eggman baby’s butt?”

“Knuckles!” Amy scolded.

“What?” The echidna asked defensively. “It’s a valid question! If that version of Eggman was still evil, then I don’t see why you wouldn’t also teach him a lesson.”

“Oh, trust me, he was definitely evil. Kicking his butt was extremely satisfying.”

Knuckles folded his arms with a self-satisfied smirk he tossed Amy’s way. She huffed and rolled her eyes, gesturing for Sonic to continue his story.

“There weren’t just other versions of Eggman, though,” he said with an excited gleam in his eye. “Every dimension I visited had new versions of you guys! Even Rouge and Big and Froggy!”

“Ooh, really?” Amy clasped her hands together. “What were we all like?”

“Well, the pirate versions of you all talked with these funny accents and were on a ship’s crew together. Knuckles was your captain but he was a big bonehead.”

“Hey!”

Tails smiled, going back to the wiring in the Tornado as he listened to the hedgehog tell them all about this strange new adventure that he’d found himself in. One eye he kept on his work, the other he kept on Sonic to show he was still paying attention, tuned into the rhythm of his brother’s storytelling just as much as the words themselves – and that was the only reason he caught the stumble.

Sonic was in the process of telling them how the Chaos Council had put the entire Shatterverse in jeopardy by punching holes between dimensions using shards of the Paradox Prism, and that he, Shadow, and an alternate version of Tails had stolen the shards back and were planning to put the prism back together. Then he paused, very briefly, and sheepishly admitted that they were unsuccessful before the Council had caught up.

That pause had been barely half a second long, but for the hedgehog it might as well have been a full minute. Tails stopped working as Knuckles began teasing Sonic for letting any version of Eggman be faster than him. He watched his brother carefully, noting the tension in his quills that the fox could only see from his place in the cockpit above. To the others, it seemed like Sonic was embarrassed about his failure, but Tails knew that wasn’t what it was.

Embarrassment was fidgeting in place and wanting to change the subject immediately. It was not standing rigidly with fingers twitching like they wanted to curl into fists, nor was it too-loud laughter at the ribbing his friends were giving him.

The fox quietly placed his tools in his lap and turned his full attention onto his brother.

When the teasing finally stopped and Sonic got back to the rest of his story, it felt different than before. More pauses, shorter descriptions of events, and vague answers to questions about how the Shatterverse was saved from ripping itself apart. The hedgehog’s expression was tight with sadness as he told them of the goodbyes he’d shared with all the different versions of his friends before he and Shadow found their way back to Green Hill.

“Don’t get me wrong, I was so excited to see you guys again – the real yous instead of those weird ghost holograms – but I also knew it was a permanent goodbye for them. All those different versions of you…they were still their own people, with their own goals and dreams and lives. I got to know each of them, and it was hard to walk away knowing I’d never see any of them again.”

“It’s not like you to dwell on goodbyes,” Amy said gently.

“I know. I just…” Sonic glanced up at Tails, then looked away immediately before their gazes could properly meet. The fox narrowed his eyes in confusion. “It was really bittersweet, in the end. I wish you all could have met each other.”

As Amy pondered over what her “sisters” might have been like and Knuckles pointedly declared that the other hims would have probably just gotten on his nerves, Tails’ namesakes curled around each other in a slow mimic of his flying movements. It seemed like the hedgehog was simply melancholy over the loss of his new friends, but it still felt…off. Like there was something he hadn’t told them, or even something that Tails had missed, that was obscuring the whole picture of his experience.

He briefly considered asking Sonic outright when they were alone later, then immediately nixed the idea. His brother was open about nearly everything right up until he suddenly wasn’t, and then pulling information from him was just as hard as convincing Knuckles to part with the Master Emerald for more than a week.

“Do you think the other dimensions are still out there even though you put the Paradox Prism back together?”

Everyone fell silent as they all looked up at the fox. Sonic’s mouth pulled sideways like he wasn’t sure how to answer.

“I mean, I assumed they are. Don’t really like thinking of the alternative.”

“I’m sure they are!” Amy was quick to reassure. “You can’t just unmake a bunch of worlds once they exist, right? And you said it yourself, Sonic – the Shatterverse collapsing only happened because the Eggmen misused the Prism Shards. All you did was make them whole again.”

Tails tapped the end of his screwdriver twice against the Tornado’s steering wheel. An idea was starting to develop in his mind, formed from a swirl of thoughts and his admittedly shallow knowledge of Quantum Physics. He kept it to himself, however, as he continued to study his brother’s body language and the tension still present there.

Just a few days later, that particular tension was gone from Sonic but the idea was still firmly in the fox’s head. He took every physics book he had that touched the subject, plus several that were “liberated” from one of Eggman’s laboratory libraries, and began researching. It didn’t take very long for him to conclude that no matter what theories he read about, or potential blueprints he began to draw up, he wasn’t going to make it very far on speculation alone.

If this idea was to become tangible, then he needed the Paradox Prism. And achieving that, Tails remembered with a grimace, would be more difficult than any mathematics he puzzled through.

He could only hope that its keeper would be in a good mood.

-------------------------------------------------

Contrary to popular belief, Shadow was not particularly difficult to find. He was a creature of habit, much like Sonic. The real issue was that those habits tended to seem erratic at best and completely nonsensical at worst to anyone who didn’t know them well. To the average person, Sonic was flighty and never settled down in one place for long, and Shadow just couldn’t be found to begin with.

But Tails was not an average person, and he had a lot of experience in tracking down speedy hedgehogs.

There was a large waterfall in Green Hill that overlooked an even larger lake. It cascaded constantly down from a giant cliffside that was difficult to climb and get down from. Sonic avoided the area entirely unless absolutely necessary, but Tails loved to practice his aerial maneuvers there. It was for those three reasons – his many visits, the general seclusion, and the consistent lack of Sonic – that the fox knew how much Shadow preferred the place, too.

It was here that he looked for the black hedgehog first. He started at the base of the cliff, shielding his eyes against the sun as he peered up past the waterfall while lake water lapped just a few inches short of his shoes. After a minute or so of squinting and scanning, Tails caught sight of a dark figure standing at the very top of the cliff, arms folded and looking out at the scenery.

Excited, the fox began to fly up towards him, making his presence known as obviously as possible so Shadow knew he wanted to talk. He felt the moment those piercing red eyes snapped over to him. The fur on the back of his neck prickled by instincts honed from years of Eggman battles before settling down immediately afterward, recognizing the gaze as non-threatening.

That didn’t mean the hedgehog was happy to see him, though. Irritation was visible in every line of his face when Tails touched down a few feet away from him.

“Is Sonic with you?” Shadow asked, in a tone of voice that suggested he was going to teleport at the first syllable of a ‘yes.’

“No, he doesn’t know I’m here. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

One black-furred eyebrow rose in mild surprise. He tilted his head the tiniest bit forward to acknowledge he was listening.

Tails took a deep breath and took the plunge without wasting another second. “I know you have the Paradox Prism. I was hoping to run some tests –”

“No.”

The answer came so strong and curt that it made Tails’ mouth click shut before he even registered what was said. He blinked, caught off guard by both the reaction and the way Shadow’s entire body seemed to tense. It almost looked like he thought the fox was going to attack him, which was as bizarre an assessment to make as the realization that Shadow saw him as a viable threat.

“Why not?” He asked, thoroughly confused. “I didn’t even tell you what kind of tests I’d be conducting.”

“It doesn’t matter what kind; the answer remains the same. The Paradox Prism isn’t something to be tampered with.”

Tails resisted the urge to let out a huff. “I’m not going to tamper with it. I just want to learn more about those other dimensions Sonic was talking about.”

“Then ask him about them and stop wasting my time.”

The hedgehog turned on his heel and began walking away. The hum of his hover shoes coming to life threatened only a few seconds left before he disappeared entirely. Tails knew his one and only chance was slipping out of his grasp.

He didn’t think; what came out of his mouth next was pure panic.

“I think something’s wrong with Sonic!”

Shadow froze mid-step. The fox blinked and then suddenly they were an inch apart. That unreadable glare seemed twice as potent now as it searched his face for any kind of deception.

“…Elaborate,” the hedgehog finally said in a quiet yet uncompromising demand.

“W-Well, he told us about the Shatterverse, and you guys trying to get home, but I feel like he’s…omitting things?” Tails paused, thinking over the last week or so. “He’s been clingier, too. He wants to hang out with everyone more than usual. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him plan so many get-togethers before now.”

Bringing everyone together had usually been Amy’s or Tails’ idea, and Sonic always popped in at the last minute or stumbled into the group in the middle of a run. Now, he was asking them all to hang out so often that Knuckles had threatened to slug him if he didn’t leave him alone for at least a day.

“And then, yesterday…he got really upset when he couldn’t find me.”

Tails remembered it vividly. He’d made an impromptu trip to the nearest junkyard in search of parts for his idea, forgetting to leave a note for potential visitors because of how short the excursion was, and had come back to his workshop in disarray and one agitated hedgehog looking ready to tear down the walls in search of him. His brother had grabbed him in a tight hug without any words, visibly shaking, and had stayed with him in the workshop for hours afterward. There hadn’t been any explanation; Sonic had remained tight-lipped in embarrassment and so Tails had assumed it had to do with the brief loss of his friends during his Shatterverse adventure.

But putting that odd encounter alongside the clinginess and simultaneous avoidance now, it was starting to paint a much more concerning picture. The fox wanted to kick himself for not connecting the dots sooner. Hyper-fixating on a new invention was no excuse.

Shadow was still watching him. Tails took a deep breath and spread his hands out in an honest, pleading gesture.

“I’m just really worried about him. I think there’s stuff he’s not telling me, and I don’t know how to approach him about it.”

“What makes you think studying the Paradox Prism will help with that?” The hedgehog’s voice was flat but no longer as harsh. He had a funny look in his eye that was impossible to place.

“I want to figure out whether those other dimensions are still out there. If they are, I think it will perk Sonic up. But the only way I’ll know for sure is with the Prism’s help.”

Silence floated between them for a long time. Tails swallowed the urge to continue making his case, and instead waited as patiently as he could for Shadow to come to a decision. A myriad of emotions flitted across the other’s face, all small and fleeting and unreadable.

“…Fine. I’ll let you look at it.”

“Really?” The fox gasped, excited, but Shadow held up a hand before he could say anything else.

“On three conditions. One: that I’m present the entire time you’re with it. Two: that you do exactly what you told me you want to do and nothing more. No using it to power machines unless it’s explicitly for finding other dimensions, no tampering with it or trying to break it apart, and no additional investigations. I don’t care how fascinated you are with it.”

“Okay, I can do all of that. What’s the third condition?”

“That you don’t involve Sonic in your studies.”

Tails frowned. “Why would I involve –”

“Agree to all the terms, Fox, or you’re not seeing a hint of that crystal.”

“I agree!” He replied, quick as he could before the hedgehog changed his mind. “You’ll be with me the whole time, I won’t mess with it, and Sonic stays out of the process.”

“Good.”

With the deal struck, Shadow nodded once before walking off again. The fox watched him, uncertain, until he threw a glance over his shoulder.

“Are you coming or not?”

Tails didn’t need to be asked twice.

-------------------------------------------------

And so, two hours later, they were both back in Tails’ workshop with the Paradox Prism floating innocently in the middle of a containment chamber. Shadow leaned against the closed garage door – which he had demanded stay locked while they were working – eating out of the can of raw coffee beans he’d requested when Tails had offered food. It would have been quite the sight if he wasn’t already used to the bizarre black hole of a stomach that belonged to his brother.

Maybe liking weird food was just a hedgehog thing.

The fox, meanwhile, was in the middle of making complex calculations as he studied the Prism, adjusting for energy levels and power output with every spike that appeared on his scanner. He was quickly realizing that developing technology that could reliably run on this energy was going to be a careful balancing act; it fluctuated sporadically in seemingly indecipherable patterns, and every sudden jump was volatile at best, downright dangerous at worst.

If not for all his research into chaos energy, handling the Prism would’ve been infinitely harder. Their properties weren’t all too dissimilar, now that the thought crossed his mind, and it took a lot of willpower not to get sidetracked by that line of theorizing. The promise he’d made to Shadow was one he intended to keep no matter how painful it was for his scientific mind to ignore every other possibility.

“What are you doing now?”

The hedgehog’s question broke the melody of furious pencil scribbling. It was a common occurrence while Tails worked; he barely even glanced up when he answered.

“I think I’ve finally isolated the most benign wavelengths of energy the Paradox Prism is giving off. Using that, I can power the interdimensional device without risk of it exploding.”

“What is this interdimensional device for?” Shadow asked, suddenly right behind him.

Tails absolutely did not jump, but the grip on his pencil went tight as he pulled back from his blueprints a bit to blink owlishly at his suspicious companion. “I told you already – it’s to determine whether those miniature dimensions still exist.”

“How is it going to do that, exactly?”

The fox resisted a great urge to sigh. “It’s just going to be a probe. If prism energy is capable of making things jump between dimensions like Sonic said, then even a tiny amount will make my invention cross the theoretical inter-dimensional barrier and hopefully tell me what’s out there.”

“Hmph.” Shadow’s eyes darted across the schematics laid out on the table. It was hard to tell how much of it he understood, but Tails had a feeling it was more than most people usually could. “Remember: only for this function.”

“Loud and clear, sir,” he mumbled with a roll of his eyes before he could stop himself. The hedgehog’s glare sharpened considerably, but he went back to his place against the door to finish off his coffee beans without another word.

Now that Tails had successfully found a safe power source from the Prism, it was time to actually build the device that would make use of it. He wasted no time getting to work – grabbing scrap metal and wiring and as many tools as he could carry, then starting the process of putting together his newest invention piece by piece. Just like with anything powered by the chaos emeralds, the probe couldn’t simply be built and then pumped full of Prism energy. Every aspect and every addition had to be tested for durability. If it could channel its power source without issue, then he moved onto the next section and repeated the testing process. If it couldn’t, then he had to rework his calculations completely until it wasn’t at risk of frying from a single jolt of energy.

A tedious endeavor, but one he enjoyed wholeheartedly just for the way it occupied his mind. The fact that success meant a new, fully-functional invention was just the icing on the cake.

When at long last the fox was satisfied that his interdimensional probe wouldn’t blow up the moment he turned it on, he swiveled in his chair to hold it up triumphantly. Shadow, to his credit, had not made another sound nor moved a single inch through the hours it had taken to complete the device. He peered at it with a mix of curiosity and wariness.

“Are you going to send it out, now?”

“Yeah, but first…”

Tails turned it around in his hands to reveal a tiny screen and keyboard on one side, pulled straight from Knuckles’ most recently-busted flip phone. He typed in a string of code and watched with a satisfied snicker as a message appeared on the screen in response.

– Hello Worlds! –

“What is the purpose of that?”

“Tech joke.” He placed a solid metal cover over the keyboard, but left the screen visible. “I doubt anyone is going to find this, because it’s supposed to only travel through the space between dimensions, not actually visit them, but it’s funny to think about.”

“Hm.”

If Sonic were here, he probably would have told Shadow to lighten up. Tails, on the other hand, was much more aware of the precarious state of their arrangement, so he didn’t do that.

Was definitely thinking it, though.

Before turning the device on, the fox double checked that its connection to the Miles Electric was strong and secure. Sending it out without a way to relay information back would have been a silly mistake to make. Confident that there was nothing else to be done, he flipped the single switch on its underside, and they both watched as it hovered out of his hands for a few seconds before disappearing in a flash of rainbow light.

Shadow eyed the spot where it had just been, expression tight, then lifted the Paradox Prism’s container with ease. “Keep me informed on what you find. I’m…curious, as well.”

“Okay.”

Their gazes locked for one brief moment before the hedgehog also disappeared with his charge – in a green flash instead. Tails let out a long exhale. He was exhausted but in a good way, like running a marathon and beating your best time.

He checked the Miles Electric. Nothing yet. That was to be expected; interdimensional travel was probably not as instantaneous as Sonic made it out to be. All he had to do was wait.

So, he waited. And waited.

And waited.

A week passed with no signal. Not a single, shallow blip on his radar to show that the probe had survived its attempt at escaping the barriers between their dimension and whatever lay beyond. Disappointed but not entirely surprised over the possible failure, the fox stopped checking for it as often. Every hour dropped to a few times a day; a few times a day dropped to only once per day. As yet another week began creeping by with nothing to show for it, he finally took the Miles Electric off his desk and put it away to make room for other, more pressing projects.

The device might have ended up a bust, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other ways to confirm the existence of the Shatterverse. Tails began sketching up tentative ideas for his continued research. He didn’t have any Prism energy left to work with, though, and Shadow probably wasn’t going to be as generous if he asked for help again. The power to cross dimensions was going to be the biggest hurdle.

Just as he was debating whether chaos energy would work as a potential substitute, there was a sudden flash of rainbow light to his left. The fox startled, whirled around with his hands up in preparation for a fight – and stopped.

Stared.

There was his device, hovering in the air. Tails’ ears twitched as the Miles Electric suddenly let loose a muffled cacophony of sounds from within the desk drawer; the familiar, loud pings that meant a probe had been successfully connected to. Stunned and unable to think of doing anything else, he slowly reached out to stop its hovering and hold it instead.

From the way he had grabbed it, the little digital screen was visible. Tails looked down at the message and felt his heart skip a beat.

[ hello stranger ]

-------------------------------------------------

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A/N: Several months ago I joined the Sonic Big Bang event, and today is the culmination of that event where we flood the fandom with fics and art! We are Sonic Fans and we cannot be stopped lol. Expect a chapter release every day until the fic is finished!

The fantastic artists paired with my fic are @currantlee, @phantom-howl, and @dewdropdraws. I'll link their artwork when it's all posted, please please check them out cause they're all wonderful! Thanks so much to @sthbigbang for hosting this and letting me participate! I had a blast!

[starfellentity]

Ok ok listen

What if.... TADC Swap AU but a bit different?

Ok so Pomni arrives at the digital circus so much more earlier than the current cast, even Kinger. Pomni acts just like how she did in the pilot, trying to find the exit at first. She made friends with the past cast and tries to find the exit for all of them but as time goes on, they all started to abstract... one by one.

Pomni is the last remaining person there, along with their ringmaster (not Caine in this AU). The ringmaster then says something about failing their job and turns to Pomni, asking her to hold out her hand. They then get teleported to THE VOID and the ringmaster tells Pomni she's the new ringmaster now and some weird as code thing happens and the old ringmaster just disappears in a cloud of codes.

Pomni after going over the fact she's now the new ringmaster fell into a trance like state and hears a voice. As she wakes up, she doesn’t remember much of the encounter, just the commands she heard. This type of encounter keeps happening until the first ever person came into the digital circus after what seems like years. During these encounters, Pomni after she realized she was the ringmaster and have all of these new abilities, tries to make an exit. After multiple tries, she just gave up. She couldn't keep doing this since she was still technically a "person" so with all the emotional distress she was experiencing, she was also abstracting. See, being a ringmaster also gives you a type of defense system so while she is abstracting, she can't exactly fully abstract so she was stuck with basically 30% of her body abstracted. She feels some spikes of pain from time to time but it doesn't hurt as much as the time she almost abstract before all of this.

Years after dealing with the abstraction and cleaning up the circus and giving it a much needed redesign (as the voice had said to do so), a new person arrived. Kinger and his beloved queen, Queenie has popped into the digital circus. Pomni seeing this put on her performer voice introduced herself and explained everything that had happened. This cycle continued on and on until the newest MEMBERS came, Caine and his pal, Bubbles.

So a rundown on the swapped aspect of this whole au issssssss

Pomni and Caine have switched ROLES, not personalities. Though Pomni acts a bit like Caine when doing the adventures and everything (but not to the extreme like Caine either)

The rest of the cast has swapped personalities

Ragatha acts more in a way where she doesn't care for anyone and is less like the caring doll she was.

Jax is more shy and sweeter. He tries to help anyone in need (god that'll be weird to write about and draw)

Zooble gladly joins in any type of activities and adventures Pomni makes. (There'll probably be more but I can't think of anything right now)

Gangle is happy all the time but she does act like a people pleaser to the point where she doesn't care for herself anymore, always putting people first before her.

Kinger is more confident but after losing Queenie, he acts a bit mean and has a but of a short temper. He still like bugs so the cast will give him insects as a way to apologize.

Caine is the jester now with his pal Bubbles as the uhhhhh jack of all trades? Bubbles can do anything if they feel like it.

And Kaufmo? Yeah no he still abstracts when Caine is introduced into the world. (Poor guy)

This AU will mostly be mainly focused on Caine and Pomni but the rest of the cast will still have their own stories (if I can think of any)

Also JesterDoll of course. They're pretty open about their relationship.

I hope y'all like this AU idea I had swimming around my head seeing just two fanarts of a swap au lol

[friskarm]

tentatively putting my thoughts into the tag. for context i am an anime-only watcher but i've been really, really enjoying the mage exam arc and i was definitely a little surprised to find out that this arc has a lot of people frustrated!

one of the strengths of this arc, i think, is seeing how frieren interacts with characters and personalities we've not seen her encounter before. fern and stark are both relatively placid as people; they're generally content to go along with what frieren says.

lawine and kanne are two very strong personalities that frieren initially doesn't know how to deal with at all! they have a whole thing going on and frieren's choice is to. not handle it at all. rather, she spends much of her time quietly observing the two of them until she can speak with each of them individually and figure them out, just a bit. she really struggles to get a grasp on the situation until she does that; it's lawine and kanne who are acting first within their team.

then, secondly -- frieren's plan is so. elf with a lot of time to spare. the impact of the time limit is felt so strongly by every human character on the field; everyone is in such a rush! fern's team are stoked they caught a stille so early. the team that attacks them are desperate to steal it asap. after lawine freezes the lake, the other teams are desperately trying to thaw it, for a quick solution.

frieren, though? frieren's solution takes a shitton of time and involves her essentially meditating by a pond for god knows how many hours. it's such a frieren plan; i feel like only someone with a relationship with time like frieren does would come up with it.

tldr; frieren's capacity to form relationships and understand people and her relationship with time are shown off in a really interesting way wrt the way frieren solves the stille problem.

that, and... it seems a bit silly to say this about a show with a certain character in the title but... i do not feel that frieren is exclusively about frieren. it is certainly a story about her adventures but frieren is by no means the only important character! fern is also there! and stark but hes on vacation. so let's talk about fern.

the one fight scene fern has is so unbelieveably crunchy to me bc we learn so much about the world (now) and about the world (part)/frieren's view on magic from it! the girl she fights has really impressive magic; we know that this is generally considered a time of peace, the demon lord is dead, etc. magic is not necessarily a means to an end. i wonder if this means magic has entered a sort of renaissance? a time period after a period of great upheaval, where social structure is thrown out the window and great advances are made in technology, science - and maybe magic!

the way fern uses magic is very indicative of how frieren feels about magic. fern says (that frieren said) that "this is enough to defeat mages of this era", which is so interesting to me bc yes, ofc, fern does win! with her simple magic and full auto fire. but does that automatically mean fern is a better mage? it's complicated...

you hear a lot about the different philosophies of people who use magic in these episodes, and what i'm really interested in seeing is mr war guy meet frieren, bc i think they'd be the most interesting contrast -- a warrior of the past, and a warrior of today.

specifically bc -- frieren is basically a custom-designed warrior. the way she can mask her mana is very specifically designed to be able to weaponised against demons, flamme did that to her very purposefully. the way she's trained fern is also indicative of that; fern's immense firepower and stamina being "enough to defeat mages of this era" without being flashy so to speak indicate, at least to me, that this sort of thing was common in frieren's time! but this is a type of magic very specifically made for battle against a very specific enemy.

no wonder frieren likes collecting weird spells so much... i wonder if she's had much time at all in the past to play around with magic for the sake of anything but fighting and training to fight?

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi (Bleach) -Extra

“M-Mayuri..”

“I already told you, this is the best way to administer the drug.”

He bit the capsule, and you barely got a word in before his lips were pressed to your own. You gripped at his captain’s cloak, knees trembling as his tongue seemed to explore every area that it could. Your brows knitted, and he finally pulled away, licking his lips confidently.

The bruise on your arm was sizzling and he smirked.

“See, the drug is already taking effect. Although it is still underdeveloped, it works wonders, wouldn’t you agree?”

His tongue darted out, licking the corner of your lips.

You couldn’t believe how much had changed.

Just a few weeks ago you were complaining about how infuriating this man was. Now you’re just letting him mess with you.

“P-Pervert..”

You mutter weakly.

You liked it when he kissed you.

There was no denying that.

“Am I?”

His hand slid around your waist and you squeal when he flash steps. You’re now seated in his lap as he sits at his desk. Your intention is to yell. Do something, say something, but the second his hand lands on your thighs, you feel like you’ve lost your voice.

“M-Mayuri w-wait someone could walk in..”

You clenched your eyes shut when his free hand moved up your shirt.

“This is my private space, no one but you and Nemu have access.”

That statement shocked you.

He leaned closer, nibbling on your ear and you shivered, bracing your hands on the desk.

“What else should I test on you, hmmm?”

“I-I’m not an experiment!!”

Mayuri’s grin grew wider.

“I beg to differ, you’re the best experiment that I’ve ever encountered.”

His hand started drifting over your thighs, moving to your center. You bit your lip, eagerly anticipating the touch. He was close, so clos-

Boom!!

The sound made you jolt, and your head whipped behind.

There was now a gaping hole where a computer once was, and when the debris and smoke finally cleared, you could see none other than Kenpcahi picking himself up off the ground. He was smiling like a maniac.

“Good one Ichigo!!”

He blasted right back out of the hole, creating a bigger gape in the wall.

“How bothersome.” Mayuri grumbled.

It’s then you seemed to realize just how compromising your position was. You jumped out of his lap, pointing at him.

“Q-Quit messing with me all time!!”

You were gone in an instant, and he just let out a soft huff of annoyance.

~~

“S-Stupid Mayuri!!”

When did you become unaffected by that clown-faced weirdo?

It was a little annoying.

He was still using you like a test subject.

Maybe that’s what was actually pissing you off. At any time he could find a replacement. Some new person that would peak his interest. Then what. Were you just supposed to pack up your feelings?

“I hate him..”

You hate that he makes you feel this way.

Self conscious and unsure.

Planting yourself on a building, you just stared at the sky. When you first got here everything was pretty clear. Mayuri was a psycho that you needed to avoid.

Yet now..that’s so far from the truth. Maybe it wasn’t just now, but all those months you spent going along with his crazy adventures. Each one seemed to be worse than the last, but you always showed up. You were always with him and Nemu. Now it feels weird to be all alone here.

Wondering.

The familiar sound of robes flapping brought you back. You didn’t have to turn. You already knew who it was.

“Do you intend to sulk forever?”

His tone sometimes really did piss you off.

“What do you want? Another perverted experiment. Why don’t you just go find some other superpowered human.”

You hugged your knees, still refusing to look at him. It was petty, but you can’t help it.

Mayuri frowns.

“There is no other being that would come close to intriguing me as you do.”

It was shocking, hearing something like that from him. You turned your head slowly, and he was just looking at you. There was something there. Something he didn’t show often, or maybe ever. Mayuri looked away, seemingly agitated that you made him express such a thing.

This wasn’t a confession of his undying love, but this was possibly the closest you would get. You wore a small smile, shaking your head.

“I’ve really lost my mind.”

You must have.

Oh well. 

[mdhwrites]

thoughts on Lilith Clawthorne? Her redemption or her time a villain etc?

So I actually haven't of just Lilith and this is going to be fun for me because if you talk about Lilith, you have to split her into two halves. S1 and everything beyond. This division is not about villain versus protagonist though. Her narrative role does change into that but the thing is that those are secondary roles to her main roles.

Namely, that of a straight man vs comic relief.

In comedy, the straight man is given the veneer of seriousness for the sake of having someone who will react to the jokes in a way that helps elevate them where a laugh wouldn't. This is your stick in the mud who hates sarcasm or puns or stuff like that. They see the absurdity happening and clap back. People like Red from that 70's show, or Doctor Cox from Scrubs, are straight men who help play on jokes through contrast. This isn't even that they cannot be funny themselves but that usually their humor is more rooted in a grounded sense, such as Doctor Cox ranting at someone after they've been stupid because they've been stupid, rather than the absurdity the other characters revel in.

For The Owl House, especially Eda's sister, this was a masterstroke. One of the biggest issues TOH has with its comedy is actually a lack of reaction to them. Few people laugh along and almost no one will ever get upset, not unless they themselves are the butt of the joke. My favorite jokes in TOH are essentially all rooted in someone actually killing what you'd expect, such as Gus saying he gets it when Luz says no offense to him for saying Willow is stronger or the monster hunter who has always dreamt of pushing children off giving a deadpan "I was a weird kid." But no one in the series really has it as a dedicated role besides Lilith.

The only problem, and this is a core issue with her character, is that she's actually not a very good straight man. She never has barbs to throw back or moments of actually winning against the others comedically. Yes, we like seeing the straight man suffer, which Lilith does, but we love just as much when he can actually fight back. Lilith never fights back, not with comedy. She'll shout and throw a tantrum but honestly, she gets so frustrated that it isn't even a comedic reaction like a straight man should have. She never has that normal groan, roll your eyes and then bring your paper up as you put a wall between you and stupid. Instead she gets loud and meets Eda every time on her level which is NOT THE POINT.

Otherwise, how is she as a villain? Well, she only has the VENEER of seriousness, like I said before for this role. She is knocked down in almost all encounters with her and made into a fool in some way. In some way made out to be honestly kind of bad at her job which she shouldn't be. She's the only witch on the Isles who can compete with Eda, the literal only representative of the EC proper before the S1 finale and the best member of the EC. If she's a joke, what are we supposed to think of the main villain faction as a whole? It's like if instead of Zuko in S1 of Avatar, it was Azula who was the bumbling fool, constantly failing to catch Aang, sometimes in comedic ways.

The saving grace for her though is three things: A lack of screentime and paced out far enough from each other mostly that it's easy to respect her title and forget how much often she gets punk, the fact that usually it is some sort of trick that beats her, even if it makes her look foolish and finally her relationship with Eda. Mind you, that last one is actually really shallow. There's nothing really here besides the fact that they care about each other but are on different sides. We actually never get an exploration of why they're on different sides, minus the curse obviously but that's hardly personally driven, that was inflicted on one of them by the other, how they've dealt with this divide, how they actually see each other even, etc. like that. Most of their adventures honestly portray them as not even giving a shit about the core conflict between each other because they're more than happy to goof around, bend the rules, BOTH OF THEM, and just act like they're teenagers to be frank. It's shallow but it's effective enough to make you want to see them getting along.

Then I will admit she gets a good finish and an act of redemption that feels entirely correct for the fact that Lilith really wasn't much of a villain ever but had committed a grievous mistake upon someone else. A good finish to a character who was entirely unremarkable besides a kick ass design. That's S1.

You all remember that I said TOH had a problem of having NO OTHER STRAIGHT MEN OUTSIDE OF LILITH?

Okay, I defined Straight Man, let's talk about comic relief. Now, we actually need to acknowledge, thanks to a bit of lingering strength to Lilith's writing, that comic relief is not actually a character trait. Comic relief itself is a writing tool. It is just anytime comedy is used to help ease tension. That's what it's relieving. Much of the time, there will be one character who is better at this than others. Sokka is the comic relief of Avatar much of the time. However... He's not a comic relief character because his existence is not the joke.

That inherent fact is the reason why 'Comic Relief Character' is purely negative. By the mandate of the label, all they are is a joke. They are entirely 2 dimensional and exist only to insert comedy when comedy is decided as being necessary. Now you might go "Wait, isn't the Straight Man all about comedy?" but hear me out. The veneer of seriousness means that a good straightman gives as good as he gets. When he rolls his eyes, the joke isn't rolling his eyes. The joke is whatever came before and the gesture amplifies it. Meanwhile, when King has a tantrum about not being taken seriously, the tantrum is the joke. We're supposed to laugh at King, not laugh with him. S1 King, S1 Gus, HOOTY, all of these characters in TOH function like this to the point where when they do have focused episodes, they feel out of character because to try and give them something more to do, they inherently have to get rid of the one core trait you laugh at and that's their entire identity. This is why Gus and King become drastically less fun, and honestly less interesting, when the shift is attempted with them, and stuff like King caring about Luz going or not comes out of nowhere, just like Gus' anxieties do. These characters are so much dedicated to their comedy that even trying to play on shifting perspective of it rings hollow unless you're REALLY good at it.

SO. What about Lilith? Well, through Affearances, she's actually pretty good because is comic relief, not a comic relief character. We see elements of it brewing, the fact that she is definitely being taken less seriously, the fact that she just is less serious and the fact that while we have in the past pitied Eda for her helplessness due to lack of magic, we're meant to laugh at Lilith. Following through on the finale though is seriousness enough and gives her enough genuine personal motivation that while many scenes are played for laughs, she still feels distinctly Lilith.

The second Coll Aunt Lilith shows up, old Lilith is dead and buried. All there is now is the comic relief character. We laugh at her version of nerdy, while Luz is accepted. She is now all about history, a trait she barely had before now, and is for the most part entirely oblivious to anything going on around her because she's just a comic archeologist now. She has barely two brain cells to rub together, questions nothing and even her trauma, her losing EVERYTHING, in a manner very similar to Hunter but way more effective because she actually had something to lose at the time unlike Mister "My Uncle is gonna kill me anyways, may as well turn good," is treated as a joke. Maybe the most offensive line, just singular line, to any of the core themes and things TOH technically claims to care about, is "I'm realizing I was bad at my job." The fact that we are meant to laugh at that, laugh at the ONE accomplishment Lilith has ever had in life and sacrificed so much for, and so sacrificing it made S1's finale powerful... Fuck you.

And you might go "Well, she became comic relief because King and Gus, as I said before, stopped. So they were the straight men, right? Or Hunter?" No. They aren't. Because they don't react to jokes like Lilith did. So much of the sparse humor in S2 and 3 is just joke and then crickets. Worse yet is that the comedy isn't fast enough to make the dead reaction to jokes actually work. It's why the like ONE good joke I can think of in S3 is Amity yes anding Luz talking about who might want to eat Stringbean because SOMEONE reacted to the fucking joke. Otherwise, the lost comic relief relief characters (and honestly, Hunter is so pitifully framed that it's hard to take him seriously and he almost comes across as primarily comic relief too, especially after his second appearance) are just boring now.

The degradation of Lilith is emblematic of so much that is wrong with TOH as a piece of entertainment. That is an important element to remember after all. We talk about fucked up themes, arcs, etc. in the show but as a kid's product that IS a comedy, how well it entertains is an important question. How well does it make you laugh, stay engaged and be entertained?

And well, by the end, the greatest joke of all is simply the show itself. See you next tale.

======+++++======

Btw, I think there's something to be said that Luz actually acts as a straight man but uh... You might have noticed that I mostly listed assholes. Luz gives us, by far, WAY more than anyone gives her, negative reactions to other people being themselves. She does most of the subversive humor, she doesn't like Hooty, her most expressive faces are almost always someone expressing themselves and her being against it or thinking they're stupid. For a show that wants to preach 'be yourself' and 'self expression is king' having your main character be a judgemental bitch about these elements is a... Choice. It also makes her poorly suited to be a straight man because instead of elevating a joke, it just comes across as mean spirited or hypocritical.

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[crying-fantasies]

the same anon who beg for more that mayhem goes to multiverse content, adding extra like brainstorm is at it again for more clearer detail , also the aftermath when Mayhem goes home in the latest fic hh you don't know how many times I reread all Soundwave contents like it's my daily hourly cravings sorry to bother you again ,friend

Ironically, what Brainstorm did and what Perceptor tried to do in order to not make it as bad as possible, only made it worse, in some way everything is very much connected to some degree, and even when SG Soundwave tries to help Mayhem to return home he could never imagine that the new multiverse is like a cheese full of holes (in the narrative) and streaming lines (in the music), very different from the time Cliffjumper ended in their world or when the righteous decepticons of SG traveled between realities to help others.

Mayhem ends up with a little more adventures in the way, as his very existence can't occur in some of the realities, so the reality itself ejects him to the next one.

He ends up in a reality where his father wasn't naturally forged but is somehow a marketable toy, in the same reality he gets a glimpse of his carrier near, next he is in another reality where his father is also a toy, but a sentient one that joined the decepticons and what a mess really.

In the middle of this his stress signal flares up, he knows it's impossible for anyone to come and find him, but hope is the last thing to forget once he keeps falling around.

He falls somewhere in one Earth, he looks and feels different, his frame is the same but now he has a lot of pointy and sharp ends everywhere, and, somehow, the decepticons of this earth are horrific, every cybertronian he has encountered so far is literally so weird, their face aren't made of faceplates but of different segments of their own metal and he is so out of his element here, things get worse because of course he finds the version of his sire here too, his frequency of volume way too unique and always the same no matter the universe, BV Soundwave practically falls from space and drags him to the floor with a gun to the helm before inspecting him, taking a sniff here and there, maybe recognizing his own bio signature on the young mech, but that doesn't stop him from almost ripping his helm from his body with his bare servos just because he can.

It's BV Megatron who stops him from killing Mayhem, apparently the old mech is lenient with the youngest, and that he could feel this as a gift of the uncreator, who has sent him a new mech for the battlefield, Mayhem's pre-war medic insignia being of great interestand that strange tingle of human EM field in between, maybe humans have more purposes for them.

BV Soundwave shows off Mayhem to Dylan, like a feral cat does to the person feeding it, who never in his most wildest dreams thought the robots could reproduce, but everything is possible in his shitty life, and laughably enough he is the one to tell BV Soundwave to let the kid drink some energon.

In the middle of this whole fiasco Mayhem hears someone call his designation, having just enough time to turn around before he is inside something, something made of light and with the shape of a corridor, when his optics finally recalibrate he is totally flabbergasted by who is his savior, "Chainbreaker's brother?"

There is no real explanation, only silence as the green mech just takes his servo, guiding him through the light, maybe he is explaining something along the way, how could he do this, why him? But his brain processor is so foggy, next thing Mayhem knows, he is in a medical berth back in Cybertron, you're at his side, sleeping, and he can already feel his sire right next to him.

Obviously, he asks, just to be sure, and when his father simply holds him close without a word he knows he is back home.

[vixstarria]

Bloodbang Chronicles - Chapter 13 - Tiriel the Barbarian

Chapter summary: Can Astarion handle not one but two drunk red-headed half-crazed half-elves?! Also, a cautionary tale of drinking and exhausting all of one's spell slots.

Chapter word count: 5.3k

Chapter CW: drunk and disorderly behaviour, gore

Previous chapter | Series masterlist | AO3 | Overall masterlist

Series summary:

Five years have passed since the confrontation with the Netherbrain. Astarion and his warlock lover, Asmodea, are living it up in Baldur’s Gate, running a cabaret. Their life of decadence and debauchery seems idyllic, until Asmodea’s patron disrupts it with a proposal. One that seems too good to be true. One they cannot refuse.

Pairing: Astarion x Original Female Character

Genre: Humor / adventure / smut

Rating: Explicit

“Hold it firmly, with both hands. No, not there, hold it near the end. …There, that’s better. Good. Now brace yourself, bring one leg forward and align it with where you want it to go. Goood… Now lift it over your head… No, what are you doing? Don’t flick your wrists, limp wrists will get you nowhere. Yep, like that. Now show me how you’re going to do it, without releasing. Nonono, aim straight ahead, not above your head… Yes, good job. And don’t worry about rotating it. There we go… Again. One more time. Perfect. Perfect technique. You’re doing so well. One more time, and you can let go. …Now release!”

The axe flew out of Asmodea’s hands, spinning recklessly towards a tree trunk. It successfully met its mark, firmly lodging itself in the bark, though, miraculously, it penetrated the tree with a corner of its handle, rather than the blade of the axe head.

Tiriel cocked her head and released a low whistle at the sight.

“So… What you just did is actually really impressive. …But I know you did it by accident, so you still lost. Drink up!”

Astarion observed the absurd scene from the opposite edge of their campsite’s clearing. There was something similar about the two half-elven women, though he couldn’t quite pin-point it down to any particular feature. Curious about their level of vigilance in their obvious inebriation, he deliberately stepped on a twig, making it snap. Both women spun, wild-eyed, in his direction - Tiriel lifting her own throwing axe, and Asmodea raising her hands, ready to hurl magic at any intruders - both alert and ready for violence, though decidedly unsteady on their feet. Ah… There it is, he thought. The spark of madness…

“You’re back!” Tiriel exclaimed. “Good. Assie here keeps trying to convince me she’d make an excellent berserker.” Astarion held his breath, waiting for an eldritch blast to befall the hapless woman for butchering Asmodea’s name, but it never followed - instead, Asmodea only grinned at him proudly. “You can take over making sure she doesn’t accidentally hurt herself, I’ve got some business to take care of.”

With that, Tiriel headed out beyond the clearing, past the tree they had been using for target practice. Having made it a few steps out, she paused, threw a wary glance at Asmodea and the axe she had retrieved from the tree trunk, and walked in the opposite direction instead.

Astarion only chuckled and sat down on a log near the fire. Within seconds of sitting down, he found Asmodea on his lap, impish smile on her lips.

Her breath smelled of a weird combination of mint and ale from the peculiar halfling brew she and Tiriel had been drinking. He knew she had enough alcohol in her blood for it to affect him. It was… tempting. Very much so. Especially now, when he desperately wanted to get his mind off the encounter he had earlier in the night. His mind had been spinning and spiraling out of control the entire way back to camp from the abandoned shack.

His lips caught hers in an eager and needy kiss, grappling for any peace that she might give him, seeking to lose himself in it, even if only temporarily.

“You and Tiriel seem to be getting along like a house on fire,” he murmured in her ear, gathering her closer against himself.

His lips traced down her jawline and to her neck, until he grazed it with his fangs in silent question.

Asmodea squirmed in his lap and leaned away, holding a finger against his lips.

“Better not,” she said. “Don’t want things to get out of hand while we’ve got company.”

“Oh?” Astarion said, genuinely surprised. “I was sure you were going to suggest we invite our new friend over to our tent to play.”

“She’s not interested in me,” Asmodea said with a solemn smile.

“How do you know?”

“I can tell,” she said, simply. She then tilted her head at Astarion for a moment, before gasping and giggling. “You’re disappointed!”

“Disappointed?!” he sputtered in mock dismay. “Darling, I’m relieved, dealing with two red-headed half-elves might just be the final death of me.”

Asmodea laughed and slid off his lap, also staggering off into the bushes just as Tiriel returned.

Tiriel didn’t say anything, but rather sat down to dig around her bag, appearing to look for gods only knew what, whilst throwing increasingly long and thoughtful glances at Astarion from beneath her brow.

“You’re staring,” he said, finally. “Rather intensely, in fact. What is it?”

“I can’t shake off the feeling that I know you from somewhere,” Tiriel said, frowning.

“Have you visited any alehouses in Baldur’s Gate over the past 200 years?” Astarion asked, offhandedly. It may well have been that they’d crossed each other’s paths at some point, though clearly they hadn’t gotten to know each other too closely, else she would be somewhere in the Underdark, likely plotting his demise, and not out in a forest, teaching his wife how to hurl projectile weapons.

“I have, but that’s not what I mean… I feel like I know you, but not from Baldur’s Gate or anywhere here, but…” she paused, trying to find the right words. “It’s as though I knew you in another life, or… on another plane of existence,” Tiriel tried to explain.

Astarion barked a sudden laugh, catching Tiriel off guard.

“Another one!” he said, as though to himself. “You know, you’re not the first person to tell me that,” he said to Tiriel.

“No?” she blinked.

“No, I’ve heard that from several people. Why, even our bouncer, Ban, said the very same thing almost in those exact words,” said Astarion. “Only she thinks she and I were bats in whatever other world she met me in,” he chuckled.

“Do you ever feel like you’ve met these people before too..?” asked Tiriel.

“My memory is full of gaping holes and I try not to dwell on whether I’ve met anyone before, much less the circumstances of the meetings,” Astarion deflected. “But ah…” he paused before continuing, “I would appreciate if you didn’t mention this to Oddie. She’s not too fond of these doppelganger sighting. Stopped thinking it was funny after the first three, in fact. Wouldn’t want her to hold me accountable for whatever trouble all my alter egos are getting up to on all these alternative planes,” he said with a toothy grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Tiriel nodded, just as Asmodea crashed back onto the clearing through the bushes.

“So d’you see anything interesting while you were prowling around?” she asked, plopping down onto а log.

Astarion hesitated before answering.

“As a matter of fact, I met the vampire the Hornhollow residents were so concerned about,” he said.

“You WHAT?!” Tiriel exclaimed, getting back up on her feet. “Well, where is it?!”

“And weren’t there s’pposed to be two?” added Asmodea.

“There was only one, I told you the villagers were exaggerating,” Astarion lied. “And how in the hells should I know,” he shrugged at Tiriel. “I told him to scram and he left. He won’t be bothering the villagers and their dogs any more.”

“FUCK!” Tiriel’s shout just about shook the trees around the clearing. “I don’t give a damn if he bothers them or not - no proof of kill means no pay, and I needed that bounty money!”

Astarion bristled at her tone, but before he could say anything, Asmodea cut in.

“Now wait a minute, Tir. You can’t just… go around killing people only because they stole a chicken and scared someone.”

“It’s a vampire!” Tiriel said, as though stating the obvious to someone ignorant, and as though Astarion wasn’t sitting with his fangs bared just a few paces from her. “And I need new boots.”

“Vampires are people like you and I. They just have… unfortunate dietary restrictions,” Asmodea slurred, parroting words she’d heard said by Katrina about vampires. Alas, the diplomatic turn of phrase did not deter Tiriel’s rage.

“It committed a crime, and had a bounty on its head. A bounty is a bounty. And you,” she said, gesturing at Astarion, “made me miss out on it!”

“Do you honestly think you could have taken him on?” Astarion said, narrowing his eyes. “He’d have charmed you and made you his thrall before you knew what was happening.”

“I nearly had you, didn’t I?” Tiriel retorted with a grim smile.

“Shut up, both of you,” Asmodea cut in, again. “How much was the bounty?”

Tiriel named an amount so paltry, Asmodea and Astarion could barely keep their faces straight on hearing it.

“Why don’t we just give you that sum? For the inconvenience, ale, axe-throwing lessons and good company?” Asmodea suggested.

“Do I look like a whore to you, taking payment for my company?!” Tiriel exploded again, choosing to disregard a good portion of what Asmodea had just said. Astarion belatedly remembered that the tribes of the Sunset Mountains, from which Tiriel had told them she hailed, had prickly and complex notions when it came to matters of honour.

“So you won’t take our money, the vampire the villagers wanted dead is gone, and you can’t kill this one in his stead,” Asmodea said, gesturing at Astarion. “What do you suggest?”

Tiriel hmphed, her lips drawn into a tight line, and looked away, arms crossed, considering something.

“The villagers have another bounty up,” she said, finally, looking back at Asmodea and Astarion. “On gnolls. They say there’s a pack of them that’s been roaming the forest.” Astarion rolled his eyes and groaned, but Asmodea perked up, excitedly. “I heard their yowling out there, deeper in the woods,” Tiriel said, gesturing. “They’re easy prey, but there’s too many of them for me to take on by myself. Help me, and we’ll be even.”

“We’ll do it!” Asmodea said, jumping back up on her feet.

“Darling…” Astarion began.

“Great! They’re not far, if we set out now, we’ll be finished well before sunrise.”

“Let’s go!”

“Darling,” Astarion repeated.

“What?!” Asmodea snapped.

“Darling, you’re drunk,” he said, pointedly. “Both of you are, in fact.”

“Yes, I fight best after a few ales,” Tiriel said, once again giving him a look like she was explaining something obvious to a child.

“Do you think I can’t handle a few gnolls?!” Asmodea said, projecting defiance and indignation with her very stance, her fists planted on her hips. The gesture was somewhat ruined by a loud hickup that escaped her throat.

“Come on,” Tiriel picked up her greataxe and beckoned Asmodea to follow her. The warlock happily obliged, first taking another hasty but deep swig of the brew they’d been drinking, and grabbing one of Astarion’s harnesses containing a multitude of bladed weapons.

And just like that, Astarion found himself silently cursing and trailing behind the two women as they headed deeper into the woods. Bloodying his daggers wasn’t the worst alternative to what he initially had in mind when he returned to the clearing, he reluctantly admitted to himself.

“Who’s a good little creature? Who’s the goodest, good widdle critter?? Yes, you! Who wants to go kill some beasties??? You wanna go kill, yeah??! You wanna spill some blood??? Yes you do!!!” Asmodea cooed and lilted enthusiastically, stomping and crushing through the forest. She had gotten ahead of Tiriel and Astarion in her eagerness for bloodshed.

“Who is she talking to..?” Tiriel asked Astarion, cautiously, keeping her voice low, as they crept after her.

Astarion released a resigned sigh.  

“She says it’s her patron, but to be honest, sometimes I wonder whether she’s just insane,” he replied.

Abruptly, Asmodea stopped, raising her arm in a halting gesture. 

“They’re close,” she whispered, crouching down and creeping forward quietly.

The sight that unfolded before them would not have made the gnoll god Yeenoghu proud.

A ragtag group of a dozen or so gnolls - most of them on the scrawnier side, presumably all strays chased off from other packs, who had banded together - surrounded a central bonfire, barking and snarling at one another in something that sounded like rudimentary Low Common. Crude weapons lay scattered around the makeshift camp. Several hyenas lay gnawing on bones of unknown origin. They had not detected anyone’s presence yet, perhaps being unable to smell or hear anything through their own stench and ruckus.

“How do you want to handle this?” Astarion whispered.

“The pincer maneuver,” Tiriel answered. “I’ll circle round and leap into their midst. They won’t expect it. You two, get to high ground and pick them off with your arrows and spells. I doubt they’ll manage to react fast enough to harm me, but if it looks like I’m in trouble, pick off the ones closest to me. Can I trust the accuracy of your arrows, elf?”

“The answer you seek lies within your very question,” Astarion scoffed.

“…What?” Tiriel looked at him, her face void of understanding.

“…Yes, damnit,” Astarion spat.

“So why not just say that?” Tiriel chided. “Good. Now, just give me a minute.”

Tiriel gripped her greataxe, shutting her eyes. She breathed in, deeply, through her nose, and exhaled. She repeated this over and over again, each time the breaths growing more ragged, until she began to hum on her exhales. Astarion had seen Karlach do something similar when working herself up into a berserker rage.

Tiriel’s eyes shot open. Though they were beginning to glaze over with an animalistic fury, she wasn’t quite fully gone yet, and she began to creep around the gnoll camp, continuing her breathing regiment.

Something about the primal simplicity of it, as well as her casual control of the uncontrollable, was terrifying, Astarion had to admit.

“I’ll boost you up a tree,” he said, turning to Asmodea, only to find that she was nowhere to be found. “Oddie..?” He whipped his head around, searching for her, and finally spotted her edging the gnoll camp in a direction opposite to Tiriel’s. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed.

Asmodea held a finger up to her lips and shushed him, grinning entirely too mischievously for his liking.

“Oddie,” Astarion repeated with a warning in his tone. Asmodea only giggled and waved him off, turning towards the gnoll camp. “Oddie, no,” he said firmly.

She paid him no mind, instead getting up and bringing her fingers up to her mouth, to release a shrill whistle.

“Gods fucking damnit, Od!” Astarion cursed, grabbing his bow.

“Heeeeere, puppy!” Asmodea yelled. “C’mere, boy! To heel, you ugly mutt!”

With those words, she snickered and disappeared off into the woods. Several gnolls and a hyena took off after her. Off to Astarion’s side, somewhere across the gnoll camp, Tiriel released a bloodcurdling scream and hurled herself into the encampment, immediately taking out a gnoll with her very first blow. Amidst all the chaos that was breaking loose, Astarion never had a chance to release a single arrow, as he found himself face to face with a snarling gnoll, and reached for his daggers instead.

Asmodea sped through the forest, ululating and leaping over roots and collapsed tree trunks, as the beasts chased after her.

She reached for the throwing stars contained in Astarion’s harness – shuriken, the vendor had called them – as she ran. She doubted she could have caused any real harm if she flung them at her pursuers, but that wasn’t the plan anyway. Instead, she began dropping them on the ground.

“Let me in,” Fuckface whispered, their anticipation palpable.

She did.

She lowered her barriers, allowing her patron deeper into her mind, letting their presence unfold and spread through her.

She felt Fuckface’s psyche blending and merging with her own, the lines between the two blurring. Her mind buzzed and whirled with ghosts of thoughts and notions that couldn’t have been hers. Newfound wonder and joy at the mundane, together with inexplicable streaks of cruelty or indifference which were too unlike her, couldn’t have been her. Surely.

What was ordinarily limited to telepathic conversation and the sharing of her sight expanded into her patron gaining deeper insight into all her senses. She knew the fey could now taste the very air she breathed and feel the pleasant burn of her muscles as she raced - all so alien and strange but all the more enticing to them. In turn, she felt more alert. More resilient. More alive. Lighter on her feet. Everything appeared just a little bit sharper, her hearing became just a touch more acute. All her little aches and pains that had been distressing her body melted away into nothingness, replaced with vigour and energy.

And, most importantly, her very being brimmed with magic, begging to be used, percolating at her very fingertips.

It was euphoric. Exhilarating.

And so she screamed for joy and ran, letting the fey feel the thrill of the run.

As she ran, she reached with her mind for the hyena that chased after her, searching for the cracks and fissures in its psyche, and slipped inside, effortlessly, and sent the beast running on an alternate path.

Astarion wouldn’t have approved, but what he didn’t know couldn’t bother him.

She allowed one of the gnolls to get so close she could just about feel its hot, rancid breath on the back of her neck, before tittering and misty stepping away in a different direction at the last moment.

The gnolls skidded to a stop, seeming to have lost her for the moment.

“Here boy,” she yelled at them. “Fetch!” With that, she hurled a firebolt in their direction, badly singing one of them. And the chase was on again.

A new gnoll that must have broken off from the camp, appeared right in front of Asmodea as she ran, but the hyena she had claimed bolted from the undergrowth, sprinting and slamming into it from the opposite side, knocking it over and tearing at its throat. Asmodea paused only long enough to bury her pact-bound dagger into the gnoll's guts while it was distracted by the hyena, and kept moving.

Misty step. Firebolt. Sprint. All the while dropping more throwing stars in new spots, gradually taking the gnolls in a circle. Repeat, until Asmodea or Fuckface, she couldn’t tell which at that point, grew bored.

Finally, just as the gnolls were on her, Asmodea released a bone-chilling howl that had the gnolls stop in their tracks, clutching at their heads, before they stumbled away, fleeing in a desperate attempt to escape something only they could see.

The silver mist enveloped her again, and Asmodea teleported to a different spot, positioning herself atop a small hill at the base of a tree. The approach was root-laden and covered with thick moss.

The gnolls had recovered from their mass panic and were amassing on her once more, more cautiously now.

“Little doglets,” she cooed. “Not even your mothers could bear to look at those muzzles, huh? Banished, exiled from tribe and clan? Unwanted. Useless. Pathetic.” 

One of the gnolls lifted a spear in her direction.

“Puny bitch,” it snarled, its voice guttural, words barely understandable. “Scumfang wear your skull as codpiece."

Asmodea’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. How did Scumfang know the word ‘codpiece’..? Ah well. She wasn’t about to delve deeper into its vocabulary, alas.

With a gesture, Asmodea brought all the throwing stars she had dropped flying towards the group of gnolls. They lodged themselves haphazardly in the gnolls’ flesh, most sinking into haunches and shoulders, only one winding up in a gnoll’s neck. This seemed to anger them more than anything. One gnoll charged forward, but an eldritch blast knocked it back into the others, sending them all sprawling in a snarling, yelping mass.

‘Look at these ugly, stupid beasts...’ she thought. ‘How can anything this base even live..? Vermin. Parasites. Why should this mindless evil deserve life when so much good perishes, for nothing..? They don’t belong here. A blight on this forest. On this very world. A festering boil that must be lanced. I will purge them. Burn them. Cut them to shreds. Let their blood soak and fertilise the soil so that new things will grow. Rend their flesh and turn it to mulch. Feed them to the worms. Tear them. KILL THEM. END THEM.’

Another gesture, and the throwing stars began to spin.

An explosion of blood and gore followed. After the initial burst, the throwing stars left the torn flesh and continued to spin and fly, haphazardly, continuing to lacerate anything that crossed their path. The gnolls howled and tried to crawl out of the onslaught, but it was all happening too fast: flesh, tendons and blood vessels being torn faster than they could react.

Suddenly finding herself lightheaded, Asmodea hunkered down to sit on her heels, watching her modified cloud of daggers do its job at the base of the hill. She was pleased, very much so. She hadn’t had a chance to test the spell with the throwing stars until then. The only downside was that it was all over too soon: Astarion had laced each projectile with poison to boot.

Somewhere within her mind, Fuckface all but danced for joy. Asmodea smiled. It had been so long since they last coalesced this way. There was no reason to wait so long again, no.

After some unsuccessful attempts, she had given up on even trying to explain or describe this connection or its depth to Astarion. He wouldn’t have understood. No, he would have been horrified by it. Disgusted, most likely, given his history... He already often complained about his dislike of having to share her. The jealousy was cute, in a way, if unjustified and undue to begin with. She was never ‘shared’. What she offered him never diminished. Rather, through this connection, she was more than she had ever been before. And she would become yet more.

She was brought out of her musings when she abruptly realised that everything around her had grown silent, aside from all the regular night forest sounds. The gnolls lay dead. The cloud of daggers had exhausted itself, the projectiles all having dropped into the pile of viscera.

Asmodea slid down the hill through the moss, wrinkling her nose at the distasteful mess, and began retrieving the shuriken. Thankfully all had ended up near the top.

Asmodea was considering whether it was worth casting prestidigitation to clean them off, or whether to simply wipe them, when her thoughts were interrupted.

“You’ve done enough for now. Go find your vampling,” Fuckface’s words sounded in her head.

The fey had a point. Prestidigitation would have been wasteful. She already felt like she was close to her limit.

Sounds of battle reached her as she made her way toward the gnoll camp. Could they possibly still have been going..? Suddenly worried, she directed her thoughts as Fuckface.

‘We have to get there, fast.’

‘A final burst,’ the fey acquiesced.

Another series of leaps via misty step, and Asmodea stumbled out onto the clearing, gasping from the rush.

Tiriel and Astarion, but especially Tiriel, were covered in blood - not their own, from the look of it. Asmodea glimpsed Astarion throwing her a look of concern, which turned to exasperation as soon as he was satisfied that she was unharmed. 

They had finished off most of the gnolls, but one still remained - the largest, most scarred, ugliest gnoll, which couldn’t have been anything but the pack’s chieftain. They circled it, cautiously, but it waved a massive polearm, not letting them get close enough to strike. Didn’t Astarion have a bow..? What happened to that?

“Wait… Just one more…” she pleaded with Fuckface.

“Last one.”

With a low, throaty laugh Asmodea raised her arms, readying a string of eldritch blasts. It had been years since she’d last pulled something like this off, and when she did, it was on a target much smaller, but this was the perfect opportunity to practice. Now if only she angled and timed them just right, making the bursts criss-cross and overlap just so…

Power surged from her hands, as she cast three blasts in a rapid succession. The force with which the blasts collided with the gnoll’s body from different angles tore it into pieces where it stood. The head, which had been ripped off the neck, rolled towards Tiriel’s feet. It was an instant - if an extremely messy - death.

Tiriel swore, recoiling in surprise, before breaking out into a laugh.

Asmodea approached Astarion on unsteady legs, still giggling.

“Rest now, little one,” a whisper sounded in her mind.

Fuckface withdrew, taking its power with them. Exhaustion hit her with the force of a charging rothe. Her knees buckled, and she sagged against Astarion, clutching onto his shoulder. He caught her, looking at her with worry again.

“Ahhh! Now wasn’t that fun?” Asmodea grinned as he scowled.

A limping hyena approached her and Astarion, looking at them questioningly. She and Astarion both turned to look it.

“Shoo!” Asmodea hissed at it, finally breaking the mental connection that she hadn’t realised still lingered. The animal whimpered and bolted, its tail tucked. Astarion frowned but did not say anything.

Meanwhile, Tiriel had picked up the gnoll head by its mane.

“This will be enough for the bounty, it’s huge,” she said. “Is she alright..?” Tiriel added, looking at Asmodea.

“’m fine,” Asmodea slurred, though her vision was beginning to blur. “Just need a little nap.”

“Idiot,” Astarion muttered, lifting her off her feet. “Never do that again, you hear?”

“Hmm? Oh I w-” she never got to finish what she was saying, as she lost consciousness.

She didn’t feel any better once she came to at the camp.

Fuckface had been right when they told her her power waned from disuse. She could do more, much more, before. Her body had grown unaccustomed to the stress. She needed practice to build up a resistance to the exhaustion. In the meantime, she didn’t think she could gather enough magic to lift a feather until she rested properly.

She and Astarion decided to spend another day at their campsite. There was no point trying to move further - the night was almost over.

“Will you stay with us longer?” Asmodea asked Tiriel.

Tiriel shook her head.

“Better not. I’ll head back to Hornhollow - wash all this gnoll off me with a proper bath, then pass out in a proper bed. Besides, I don’t trust the innkeeper not to rummage through the things I left there.”

“I guess this is it, then,” Asmodea said sadly, before perking up again momentarily. “Wait, I’ve got something for you.”

She disappeared inside the tent, to return with something pink, gossamer and trimmed with feathers in her arms.

“…What in the…” Tiriel blinked, looking at the bundle in horror.

“It’s a dressing gown! I want you to have it.”

“You really are out of your mind,” Tiriel said point blank, once she had regained her voice.

“No, no, I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out… Here’s my vision. You’re on a quest. You were tasked with rescuing a captive. A prince! Who’s a vampire. …A handsome, silver-haired one.” Astarion snorted where he sat, cleaning his nails with a dagger. Asmodea ignored him and went on. “His captors are huddled together, scheming how best to torture him, when a fearsome battle cry shakes the very ground they stand on. They look up and cower in fear, for lo and behold - it is you. You are power. You are vengeance. You grip your greataxe and take a stance as your frilly pink robe flutters in the wind! You are death incarnate.”

Tiriel guffawed and accepted the robe with one hand, drawing Asmodea into a hug that nearly cracked her ribs with the other.

“Very well! And you take this throwing axe,” she said, removing the weapon from her belt loop and handing it to Asmodea. “Try to hit your target with the right end, next time.”

“Farewell, Astarion!” she said, still choosing not to get too close to the vampire. “Thank you for not drinking me dry.”

“Thank you for not leaving any stake-sized splinters in me, it would have been most inconvenient,” Astarion said snidely, baring her fangs, but gave Tiriel a cordial nod and wave nonetheless. “Do stop at the Dancing Siren if you’re ever in Baldur’s Gate. I expect we’ll make it back there again… ah… eventually.”

And with that, she was gone.

In the ensuing quiet, Astarion’s thoughts immediately snapped back to the gnomes and all the implications surrounding them. He glanced at Asmodea - she had taken out her travel journal - something he hadn’t seen her written in since their journey back to Baldur’s Gate after the nautiloid crash, and was busy scribbling away in it. He watched her through his lashes.

Eyes the colour of sunlit leaves, locked on her writing. A soothing, lulling heartbeat. Warm hands. Warm skin. Warm blood.

He had already made up his mind, he realised.

He couldn’t even tell her about the freed spawn capabilities. Even if she didn’t immediately demand to join him in undeath, she was already reckless - she would only throw all caution out the window completely, if she thought that he could drag her out of death’s maw should it ever come to that.

No, he had to keep the knowledge to himself. It was safer for everyone that way.

Besides, he didn’t even know how it was done… The gnome must have done something wrong. Or been too weak. Or his spawn must have already lost her mind by the time he turned her. Must have…

Asmodea had finished writing in her journal and set it aside, gazing into the fire instead.

“Finished documenting your heroic battle with the gnoll mongrels already?” asked Astarion.

“The gnolls aren’t worth the ink or paper,” she answered. “But I’ve been thinking… I remember events from five years ago just fine. Ten - it starts to get blurry, but mostly remains intact. Twenty - I have a notion of what went on, but the blanks I must fill in are bigger than the pieces that remain. What will happen in another ten years? Another thirty? More? I can’t fall back on reverie to preserve my memories. Will I even be the same person if I can’t remember who I once was?”

“Is that why you’ve started this again?” Astarion asked, gesturing at the journal. Asmodea nodded. “May I?”

“Sure,” Asmodea shrugged, handing him the journal. “It’s only brief notes.”

Astarion opened the journal at the last page with writing. Having read the passage, he shut the journal and looked up at Asmodea.

“Earth-shatteringly deep,” he said with an unreadable expression.

“I told you, it’s brief. Just breadcrumbs for my mind to find its way back to this day.”

‘Met a feisty barbarian named Tiriel,’ the passage read.‘Hot tempered. Hot headed. Hot. Bonded over ale and exterminating some gnolls. Had to part ways after. Pity. DNF.’

“What does ‘DNF’ stand for?” asked Astarion.

“Oh that. ‘Did not fu-’”

Asmodea’s voice faltered as a man with a drawn bow emerged from behind a tree.

“You have got to be kidding me, twice in one night?!” Astarion sneered. “Are we in some amateur two-copper adventure tale?”

Another joined him. Then another, and another, and more, until they were surrounded.

Astarion threw a glance at Asmodea to gage her reaction, and saw that she had paled, eyes trained on the only man who did not have a drawn weapon. With a subtle, one-handed gesture concealed from everyone else, she slipped off her wedding ring and hid it in her sleeve.

“Well, well!” The man said to Asmodea, jovially. “Fancy seeing you again, after all these years!” He cast a sweeping gaze over their camp and laughed. “And I do believe you still have something that belongs to me!”

~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

Tiriel belongs to my friend @spacebarbarianweird. Thank you for letting me borrow her! ^_^ Read more about Tiriel in her Raging Blood series, and check out her other works!

Find the fic on AO3 as well.

Tags:

@littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tragedybunny @spunky-89

@lariatbunny@whiskeyskin @asterordinary @wingsy-keeper-of-songs @spacebarbarianweird

@brabblesblog @littlejuicebox @icybluepenguin @snowfolly @ayselluna

@mj-bites @bardic-inspo

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The Adventures of Captain York and Felix: The Galaxies luckiest bastards

Continuation of: https://www.tumblr.com/niqhtlord01/679724673487044608/humans-are-weird-salvage-rights?source=share

“Esteemed scions,” the human captain opened up to the descending group of alien leaders, “welcome to the most interesting purchase of your lifetime!”

Despite their trepidation about dealing with a human, the gathered aliens could not disagree with the human captain’s statement.

Before them was the chance to purchase a Scral Warship; a vessel that had been deemed a fleet killer for sheer armament and technical sophistication. The human captain “York” and his crew had flown this vessel unannounced to their spaceport and loudly broadcast that they were looking to sell.

Within three hours a delegation from the chamber of scions had been assembled and shuttled up to the waiting warship to inspect it and hammer out the final details for the purchase. Lingu, the delegation leader, was somewhat more cautious than his fellow delegates.

The majority saw this as a chance of a lifetime. The acquisition of a Scral Warship would be a huge boon to the system defense fleet and would allow them to even exert power to neighboring systems. Lingu was aware of the benefits, but at the moment he was more worried about the still many unclear facts of the situation.

This York and his second in command “Felix”, claim to have salvaged the warship after finding the entire Scral crew dead. They then repaired critical systems and flew to the nearest system to put the ship up for sale.

From the very beginning Lingu found this concerning.

The standard crew complement of a Scral warship was five thousand minimum. Each member of the crew would be the cream of the Scral navy; from the lowest janitor to the captain themselves. For all five thousand to die suddenly from an “atmospheric malfunction”, as the humans had described it, would be strange to say the least. Then there was the matter of the Scral government wanting their ship back.

Salvage rights were one thing, but they meant very little to a Scral attack fleet and Lingu would be hard pressed to find a reason that would convince them to let his people keep their warship.

Lingu had sent a message to the Scral government over the matter but he had yet to receive a response. He would have to push the matter to the side for now as the humans began their sales pitch.

“What we have here is the most technologically advanced death machine the galaxy has ever seen.” York began as he began leading the delegation through the hangar doorway. In typical Scral design aesthetic the corridor was decorated with various trophies from previous conquests and battles.

A nebula blaster here, a religious braid of a Shen’gan warrior there, a tiny black obelisk of the Drumari there; it was as impressive of a collection as it was seemingly random and without order.

Lingu wasn’t paying much attention to the trophies though as he listened to the human captain.

“Have you contacted the Scral government?” Lingu asked Captain York. “I imagine they would have been rather eager to obtain such a valuable asset.”

York smiled and nodded to the diplomat. “You would be right, but after determining that the Scral were just as likely to board the ship once more and attempt to take it back we have kept our relations cordial.”

“Meaning you haven’t contacted them about your latest acquisition.” Lingu added with a smirk.

If the snub had wounded the human’s pride they gave no sign of it. With the air of a used hover vehicle salesman he deflected the question while leading the group deeper into the ship.

The group walked for another thirty minutes touring the gun decks and engineering sections of the warship. Along the way they would occasionally encounter members of York’s crew. The humans would either nod a greeting to York and the diplomats as they passed or would be so deep in their work that they hardly noticed as the delegation passed.

Lingu took notes on a data pad as they entered each area. It was strange how despite traveling through the majority of the core areas of the ship they had still yet to see a single deceased Scral. If there had been an atmospheric malfunction as Felix had said there should have been dead Scral manning their station. He pondered this question as York led the group into a turbo lift that carried them to the command bridge. York introduced some of the other humans on the bridge including his second Felix who came over to the group after smacking a nearby terminal to stop the sparks from flying out of it.

“And that concludes our wonderful tour.” York announced as he casually sat himself into the Scral command throne. He looked like a child sitting in the chair three times his size but none of the delegation openly spoke it.

“What is you offer?”

The delegation spoke amongst themselves for a moment before nodding to each other. Lingu stepped forward and handed the data pad over to York. The human took the pad and scrolled through the details on it.

“Is this a joke?” York declared as he finished.

“Something wrong captain?” Felix asked, to which York responded by handing him the data pad. Felix went through the data pad and Lingu watched their expression contort with each page.

“What the frak is this?!” Felix finally declared before throwing the data pad back in disgust. Lingu casually caught it midair and returned it to his robes.

“I take it you are not pleased with our offer?” Lingu asked. In truth he had already knew the first offer was well below the value of the ship itself. The chamber of scions had approved spending up to two third the yearly planetary budget to make the purchase but he was not willing to offer all of that without negotiating.

York slapped the right arm of the command throne and sat upright. “Perhaps you need a demonstration to up your bidding offer.”

York nodded to Felix who in turned waved a hand to the surrounding human crew. On the order they began activating the ships systems and bringing the warship to full power.

The delegation turned to see the energy shields come to life outside of the viewport. Waves of blue energy enveloped the ship in a thick radiance until the entire viewport was tinted in a blue glow.

Lingu watched as the monitors began turning on one by one showing other portions of the ship.

Video feeds of the engine room, armory, weapon batteries, and…

Lingu stopped on one monitor in particular as he saw a room filled with what looked like stacked bodies. No sooner had he started to focus on the image did it suddenly turn off. Checking the other monitors Lingu turned to see that it was the only one that had been deactivated and turned back to look at York.

York was still sitting in the command throne smiling while Felix was likewise smiling but somewhat flustered. His arms hurriedly folded behind his back and Lingu swore he could see a band of sweat running down the human’s face.

“Mr. Felix,” York cut in through the silence, “target an open area of space and have all weapon batteries open fire.”

“Wait, what?” one of the delegates said as they heard York. “You can’t fire in system, it will frighten off the other traders and merch-“

“Firing main cannons.” Felix replied in a monotone voice.

Lingu felt the ship shudder as at least a hundred weapon emplacements fired as one into the void of space. The viewport soon was filled with lances of pure energy shooting out into the void; thankfully aimed at nothing within the area.

“Quite impressive, no?” York added smugly before Felix jabbed him in the shoulder. “What?” York asked before looking at Felix motioning with his head to the radar screen. The normal and orderly lines of trade ships coming in and out of the system now were scattering in all directions like insects when the lights turned on.

“Oh, well; sorry about that.” York remarked with a half laugh. Felix pinched his brow and sighed loudly before stepping forward.

“As you can see all primary systems are functioning and within operational standards. This vessel will become a primary deterrence to any and all aggressors while complimenting your military forces for any future engagements.”

He then proceeded over to Lingu and held up his own data pad. “This is our final offer; if you refuse we will take this vessel and seek new buyers.”

Seeing no other option Lingu looked back at the other delegates who were all nodding in unison. “Very well, we shall make the transfer now.”

Lingu pulled his data pad out once more and began entering in several keys. Felix’s pad beeped and he went over the information to confirm the transfer. When the device flashed green he gave the thumbs up to York who rose from the command throne.

“It has been a pleasure doing business with you gentlemen,” York began as he walked over and shook Lingu’s hand. Felix beside him was waving his hand in the air in a circle motion and the rest of the human crew began filing out into the turbo lift.

“Until we meet again, I wish you all a bright future.” York finished before turning in place and joining the other humans in the lift. The last Lingu saw of them was York’s smiling face while Felix was repeatedly pressing the close button on the turbo lift.

“This is York to all hands, the sale is complete so let’s get the hell out of hear.”

York started speaking into the communicator built into his collar the moment the turbo lift doors closed.

“You have twenty minutes to get back to the Cuttlefish; any later and you will be left behind.”

With that he terminated the communication and turned to Felix who was looking at him in disapproval.

“Why the hell is our ship name so stupid?” he asked as the other crew in the lift casually began looking anywhere else.

“Because it’s my ship and I wanted something cute.” York explained once again. “Any you don’t get to sass me now after you nearly cost us the deal.”

“I caught it in time.” Felix countered. “How was I to know the mess hall had a camera in it?”

“Furthermore, it was your idea to store all the bodies there; I wanted to dump them into space.”

“So you just wanted me to get rid of perfectly lootable bodies?” York scoffed.

The turbo lift finally came to a stop and no sooner had the doors opened wide enough was York and the rest of his crew sprinting out of the lift to their ship.

“We need to be off this ship before they find the bodies or battle damage.” Felix called out as the group skidded around a corner. “Blaster fire kinda puts holes in the whole atmospheric malfunction story.”

York grunted in reply but otherwise kept focusing on sprinting.

It was true that the atmospheric systems deactivated on the Scral warship, but only after York’s crew had snuck aboard, fought their way to the atmosphere control center and turned it off. The majority of the crew died once the breathable environment evaporated, but several dozen had been smart enough to put on vacuum suits and continue to hold key sections of the ship.

They had only eliminated the last batch of survivors on the bridge just before the traffic control station contacted them after they entered orbit. They then spent the three hours waiting for the delegation to arrive cleaning up the hallways leading between sections and repairing whatever battle damage they could while hiding the bodies out of sight.

Felix had wanted to dump them to be safe, until York pointed out their potential buyers would be suspicious seeing a couple dozen bodies begin ejected out an airlock.

Now with the sale completed the human crew needed to be off ship and out of system before the Scral realize that one of their warships was missing and came looking for it.

“Next time can we steal something smaller?” Felix gasped out after passing through the last airlock on to the Cuttlefish. “Like a safe? Like a normal bank safe filled with credits?”

“Always thinking so small, aye Felix?” York remarked as he ushered the rest of his following crew onboard. “You should be thinking how we can possibly outdo ourselves after this job.”

“But don’t worry,” York smiled as the last of his crew finally came onboard and the airlock began sealing, “I already have an idea or two.”

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x04 - Scorching Heat! Birdramon! / Biyomon Gets Firepower

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The kids spent their first night on File Island, accidentally assaulted a sea dragon, and then slept in dirt. Also, Yamato loves his brother very much.

Now it's Sora's turn for a spotlight episode.

As the kids make their way through the woods, they hear a loud rumbling sound like a train coming from the sky. Looking up, there's a mysterious flying disc.

Yamato gets the best look at it, identifying it as some kind of gear. Sora suggests flying saucer, while Mimi splits the difference offers gear-shaped meteorite. Jou doesn't know what it was; He just gets a bad vibe from it.

In the dub, Matt suggests some kind of aircraft. Sora's the one who pegs it as a gear, while Izzy takes it as clear visible evidence for his alien theory. Joe agrees with Izzy and riffs on the show's art, declaring "They hit us with an antigravity way to make us all crooked; Or maybe that sign's just crooked?"

The conversation is interrupted when Takeru trips on a vine and hurts his ankle. Wilderness travel sucks.

Taichi and Yamato both rush to Takeru's side, but Taichi gets there first. One detail I really love in this scene is that Takeru visibly turns his head to talk directly to Yamato when he cries that his fall hurt.

Takeru tries to be tough, saying he can take it and it doesn't really hurt that much. Sora assures him that it's okay to be honest about his pain, and gives Takeru confidence to withdraw that retraction. It does hurt. Patamon, way too late on the uptake, suddenly screams "ARE YOU OKAY, TAKERU!?" and Tentomon calls him out for being slow.

The dub cuts this whole discussion of Takeru's pain. When Tai picks him up, he chastizes him because "That could have been a snake!" T.K. apologizes for being clumsy, then asks Biyomon if the island has snakes on it. She assures him it doesn't; There's just giant killer bugs and stuff, no snakes. Patamon then boldly proclaims that he'll fight those Digimon to protect T.K.

From here, we get into Sora and Piyomon's conflict for this arc. As the group discusses where we even go from here, Piyomon begins nuzzling Sora and declares that she'll be perfectly happy as long as she's with Sora.

Sora does not take this well. "Even if you're 100% happy, it'll be troublesome for me. I can't be held responsible." Piyomon doesn't understand what she means by that and eagerly asks her to explain, because she wants to know everything about Sora. Sora tries to wave off her questions; That was not an invitation for further conversation.

As the kids start walking again, Tentomon explains to Koushiro that Piyomon are highly social Digimon. Behind them, Piyomon takes Sora's hand while they walk and sings, "Sora~ Sora~ Sora~!" While Piyomon physically clings to her, Sora wonders to herself whether she's going to be able to get along with a "mushy Digimon" like Piyomon.

The dub cuts all of this. As the kids discuss where to go, Tai suggests looking for signs of intelligent life. Biyomon takes offense to that, asking Sora if Tai just insulted the Digimon. Sora assures her that Tai didn't mean it like that, then spends the rest of her dialogue explaining how important it is that they stick together and work as a team to find their way out of here.

As the kids start walking, Matt imitates a tour guide and introduces everyone to "The Forest of Irrelevant Road Signs". Sora rolls her eyes and complains internally, "We're lost and these guys are making jokes!"

Good news is, the kids finally find their way out of the Forest of Irrelevant Road Signs. Bad news is, the Desert of Inexplicable Telephone Poles seems much worse. I vote we stay here.

A quick cut shows us the gear crashing into a nearby mountain shaped like a layered sponge cake, because File Island is weird. In the dub, the kids see and comment on "the flying saucer again", with Matt proclaiming that it's "heading for a close encounter!" But this shot is for the audience's benefit, not theirs.

Walking through the desert, Koushiro compares it to the African savannah he saw on TV. This prompts discussion of whether they'll run into lions or giraffes, but the Digimon assure them there are no such animals here. Only Digimon.

Yamato asks Koushiro if the African savannah has phone poles in it. My heart goes out to him for that question. Like, you can hear the hopefulness behind the question, like maybe they've finally pegged where they are. But no. There are no inexplicable telephone poles in the African savannah.

Jou, however, takes the phone poles as a sign of hope. We flash back on the pay phones and the trolley. If there's so much stuff here then there must be people. Behind him, Tentomon whispers to Koushiro, once again reasserting that there are no people. Only Digimon.

In the dub, they head into the desert to purposefully follow the phone poles, then use the rest of their dialogue to complain about the heat. T.K. whines that he can feel the heat coming up through his socks, so Matt suggests putting his shoes back on. Mimi then complains that the desert air is bad for her complexion, providing the others another opportunity to yell at her.

Dub Sora points out that the phone poles aren't connected to anything. Izzy takes that as a chance to theorize that they're some kind of alien devices.

For the flashbacks on the pay phones and trolley, Dub Mimi abruptly asks, "Hey, remember those phone booths and the street car?" but she's not going anywhere with this. "I was just wondering if anyone else remembered!" This provokes Joe into suddenly proclaiming that everyone is doomed and the heat is baking their brains. Behind him, Tentomon whispers to Izzy that they need to find shade for Joe.

Amid all this, Mimi has an idea to help them navigate the desert. Remember that compass from the survival kit she stole from her dad? Mimi remembers.

The dub plays this for a joke. "You won't believe what happened to my favorite watch. The sun melted the numbers right off!" The way she delivers this suggests Mimi herself might be cracking a joke, but the way the dub treats her in general leaves it kind of ambiguous.

They also seem to think this is a different compass, as Tai cracks a joke about Mimi having "a lot of compasses for someone who hates hiking". No, Tai. She has the one. From the survival kit she stole from her dad.

Holding the compass out flat, it begins to spin wildly and can't find a direction. So. That sucks. Koushiro assesses the sand they're walking on and realizes it's actually powdered iron, which is throwing off the compass. So much for that.

Next steps: We should probably find water before we all dehydrate. Seems like that would probably have been a good thing to think about before beginning a death march through the desert, but these are children.

Here, the Japanese crew start suffering from the heat, joining the dub crew. Gomamon proclaims that he needs ice or, at least, water. In the dub, Izzy lands a good joke by explaining that he's taken a soil sample, measured the barometric pressure, and analyzed the relative humidity to come to the conclusion: "It's really, really hot."

Mimi takes off her hat and gives it to Palmon to protect her from the harsh sun. Dub Palmon gets in a crack about "If this goes on too long, I'm going to look like a wilted salad."

Mimi's kind gesture surprises Sora, who starts to say something but then stops herself. Piyomon then starts in, calling out Sora's name like a child trying to get her mom's attention until Sora finally snaps at her. Sora yells at Piyomon to quit clinging to her, because she's tired and thirsty and can't take it anymore.

Feeling guilty for hurting Piyomon's feelings, Sora takes it back and agrees to let Piyomon keep walking with her. Piyomon forgives her instantly, hugging her legs and proclaiming, "Sora, I love you!"

Once again I want to take a moment and comment on the art, as the decision to center Mimi and Palmon with their clear, visible gesture of care for one another on full display in this shot is perfect.

Though I also want to note that, while Sora's behavior towards Piyomon is hurtful and that's what drives the plot of the episode, it should be taken with the perspective that they just met yesterday. Piyomon is being pretty clingy. There's nuance here.

Again, the dub cuts Sora and Piyomon's emotional conflict out of the scene entirely. They use the screentime to make jokes. Matt cracks, "Now you know why they call them SWEAT socks!" while Mimi gets in a stellar crack, pointing out that this "beach" would be a lot more popular if it had a couple more things like an ocean. XD

When Biyomon stops walking in visible distress, it's because she's tired and needs to rest. Sora suggests pretending that it's raining, which gives Biyomon so much encouragement that she runs up and hugs Sora. She loves the rain so much.

Breaking out his telescope, Taichi finds the most wonderful sight in the distance. That's not just an oasis, it's a full-blown village. This is the brightest moment since the kids arrived on File Island! Let's get over there!

Jou triumphantly declares victory; He knew there'd be people here! Mimi's thirsty, Takeru's hungry, everyone's excited for an end to the desert.

Dub Tai and Joe are both more interested in the water than the village, but Izzy's interested in the village; He's the only one that suggests there may be people. Mimi wants shade, while T.K. is "hungry enough to eat broccoli!"

Meanwhile, the gear finds its way to its target. Slamming into this man made of fire, it grotesquely digs into his flesh and buries itself in his body.

The village... isn't exactly what they anticipated. The kids quickly realize that they will not find shelter here. The huts are like two feet tall and populated by dozens of Pyocomon.

This revelation naturally leaves Jou distraught; No people, once again. Mimi thinks it's cute, though; It reminds her of a faerie tale. Dub Joe's upset because they won't fit into the huts, while Mimi wants to take a Pyocomon home with her to put with the rest of her plushies. This gives them yet another chance to shit-talk her, with Matt wondering aloud if Mimi even hears the same things the rest of them do while Izzy accuses her of being an alien spy.

The dub is so mean to Mimi.

In fact, Piyomon used to be one of those Pyocomon, and takes the opportunity to catch up. While Sora listens in and seems genuinely touched by how much Piyomon cares about her. We watch her frown turn to a smile as Piyomon brags that she evolved because of Sora and she's learning new words from Sora.

But then Piyomon says she evolved to "protect Sora" and that offends her. Sora grumpily mutters to herself that Piyomon's too lovey-dovey to protect anyone. But then she flashes back on Greymon and Garurumon's evolution, realizing that something similar might happen to Piyomon if she's put in danger. That brings the smile back to her face.

The dub keeps most of this, but Sora isn't as mean about the "protect Sora" remark. She sounds more curious about what that means, then thinks about Greymon and Garurumon and she gets it. Grinning, she proclaims, "We're lucky kids!"

The Pyocomon offer to prepare a feast in the kids' honor. Koushiro briefly considers what the food will be, but his thoughts are interrupted when Takeru finds the water!

Tentomon explains that this isn't just any spring; This water comes from Miharashi Mountain, that odd layered mountain that the gear flew off to. Dub T.K. observes that it's a volcano, but the Yokomon assure him that "the heat boils away all the germs".

At this point, we see the gear finish burrowing into the fire man from before. Then the attack begins.

The kids try the lake that the derelict boat was sitting in, but it's completely dried up. They move to a well in the village, but fire pours out of that as well.

They quickly assess that this must be related to that gear they saw flying to Miharashi, seeing as it's the water source for everything here. The Pyocomon offer context that Meramon lives on Miharashi and he's supposed to protect it. How could something have happened?

Like Seadramon, the dub makes Meramon out to be more vicious than the original. Here, the Yokomon speak of Meramon with terror, saying they don't dare visit the mountain because of how dangerous he is. "He burns up everything he touches!"

Taichi scouts the mountain with his telescope and finds no answers, only a bigger question: Why is Meramon descending the mountain and coming right for us?

Meramon irrationally screams that he's on fire and burning up, while the narrator officially introduces him. He's an Adult-stage Data-type Digimon. This is where the dub got "He burns up everything he touches", but the narrator clarifies "in battle".

In the dub, Palmon handles his introduction but all she offers is that it's weird for his own flames to be causing him pain like this. Accurate, but also self-evident.

Also, while he's clearly out of his mind and screaming about burning up and being in pain in both versions, Dub Meramon starts throwing out violent taunts like "You're gonna need more than sunscreen to stop me!" that imply more deliberation in attacking the village.

Both versions do start laughing maniacally as they approach the village, however, so the dub isn't wrong with their take. The gear-infected Meramon isn't coming this way by chance.

Evacuating the village, the kids usher the Pyocomon to take cover inside the wrecked ship. But while they're helping these Pyocomon, Sora's struck with a horrifying realization: Piyomon's still up there, at the top of the cliff that the lakeshore's become, guiding the Pyocomon. She won't leave until the rest of her village are safe.

The intensity of Piyomon's peril sends Sora racing for the cliffside to come get her, but she's too late. While the Pyocomon all make it out, Meramon catches Piyomon on the cliff's edge and takes a swipe at her, sending her tumbling down the cliff. Sora catches her at the bottom, and the two share a moment as Sora expresses how worried she was for her friend.

But, up at the top of the cliff, Meramon prepares to attack. As he forms a fireball in his hand for his Burning Fist attack, Piyomon flies back up to defend Sora.

Piyomon's signature move is Magical Fire, a green spiral flame that proves absolutely ineffectual against the ever-burning and Adult-stage Meramon. The dub calls it Spiral Twister. Meramon shrugs off the attack and blasts Piyomon out of the sky with his Burning Fist.

The others offer cover fire with such moves as Baby Flame and Petit Fire, all of which Meramon absorbs and grows larger. It takes the kids a moment to realize that fire isn't going to work out here.

The dub here offers a reminder that Meramon's a victim in all this. Dub Meramon exclaims, "Why do I suffer so!?" which Tai overhears and wonders the same; He wants to help Meramon but they don't know what's afflicting him.

As the now-colossal Meramon descends into the lakebed to assault the ship and kids, Piyomon picks herself off the ground. Seeing Sora in Meramon's path, she finds her second wind and refuses to give up.

Piyomon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

The dub takes the focus of that moment off of Sora. Biyomon exclaims, "We're all in trouble; Meramon cannot be allowed to win!" and then digivolves because "My friends need my help now!"

Birdramon's name at this point is fairly self-explanatory. She's a Bird Dragon Digimon.

Returning Meramon to the lakeshore, Birdramon tanks multiple Burning Fists before returning fire with her own signature move: Meteor Wing.

This does not get a dub name; At least, not in this episode. Whoever did the script for this episode seems to have not liked the whole attack-calling thing, as both Meramon's Burning Fists and Birdramon's Meteor Wing go completely unnamed. Meramon's attack calls are replaced with exertion grunts, while Birdramon's is replaced by high-pitched bird cries. Later episodes will have Birdramon call Meteor Wing by name, however.

Somehow, despite Meramon absorbing fire moves and growing stronger, hitting him with six massive fireballs does the trick.

Meramon doubles over in pain, returns to normal size, and ejects the gear from his back. The gear flies up into the air, then explodes in a puff of smoke. The kids all see the black gear, but they don't really understand what they're seeing. Still, Yamato wonders aloud if the gear was the problem here.

As usual, the dub kids are quicker on the uptake. Izzy and Tai both agree in much more confident terms that the gear drove Meramon mad. Matt relates; "If you had a big black gear stuck inside of you, you'd act a little crazy too."

Sora and Piyomon reunited, and Sora's overwhelmed with gratitude for Piyomon's protection. When Piyomon declares, "I love you, Sora!' again, it's met with an appreciative smile.

This moment's gushier in the dub, because Sora never had any reservations about their relationship to begin with. She spends her lines gushing that Biyomon's always there for her and that she's super proud of her.

Offscreen, the lake fills back up with water. The Pyocomon return to their village and unpack what happened with Meramon. He's as confused as they are. Still, they have no hard feelings over it and ask him to continue protecting Miharashi as he always has.

Despite the dub making the Yokomon terrified of Meramon and portraying him as a violent, territorial menace, this scene is played straight. "You're needed to protect Mount Miharashi!" they say of a 'mon they previously said burns up everything.

In any case, Meramon returns to his mountain and the water is restored. There's just one thing left to do: Let's get to that feast!

All the grain and birdseed you can eat!

The kids quickly agree that this is not people food. But also that they're starving and desperate, so dig in, everybody!

To varying degrees of acceptance. Mimi, in particular, cries out that she wants to go home, giving everyone a chuckle.

Ironically, the dub makes Mimi the most gracious. "Be polite and just eat it; A gracious guest never insults his host's cooking!" she says from offscreen, criticizing the others for their reluctance. Joe, meanwhile, refuses to eat, saying he's probably allergic anyway.

We close on Sora contemplating Piyomon, acknowledging that she really did evolve to protect her, just like she said she would. Dub Sora, again, had nothing to learn in this episode so she closes with the observation, "For being so little, she sure has a huge heart."

Assessment: The dub butchered this one. The previous episode seemed to be going a different direction with Matt, seeming to make him more abrasive to T.K. so he has room to grow. This one does the opposite; They erased Sora's entire character arc. Which is. Y'know. The plot of this episode. So.

Sora having trouble with Piyomon's displays of affection is our first glimpse at a deeper turmoil that will become important in later episodes, so I'm not happy about having that removed.

I do, however, like the mid-fight reminder of Meramon's affliction. And the dub also landed some solid jokes too; I particularly liked Matt sarcastically calling their surroundings the "Forest of Irrelevant Road Signs", conveying that he's starting to get irritated by the bizarre and inexplicable geography of File Island. So it does have a couple things going for it in this one.