#emotions arent a switch on switch off thing
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
joogios · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Mainstream Aot fans being genuinely incapable of comprehending the fact that several people can be important to you at the same time and that feelings aren’t a cold, calculating logical one way/two way thing and that both these women have major factors in Eren’s life and vice versa him for them
22 notes · View notes
jackass-jones · 10 months ago
Text
Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself
#rebecca gales#the letter#the letter visual novel#listen im new here im not exactly a knowledgeable cookie here about bpd but the more i learn the more im like. inch resting#cuz for starters its like idk if it all applies to me but i find a lot of it very relatable#but when i think about rebecca i think it definitely applies and makes a lot of sense just like the way she feels emotions#shes got so much complex feelings about the people she loves shes very caring and loving#to the point where they feel its too much to handle alsjks like i love how cute she is with isabella when shes worried#she squishes belles face to check for injuries and she pulls isabella into her lap and pets her hair and sings for her#and always gets her food and worries herself into the ground to make sure isabella takes care of herself#and then with ashton hes definitely her favorite person she sees him like a prince charming and remembers everything about their#relationship like her way of showing love is definitely by remembering things and paying attention to how people feel and what they want#and then zach even though they arent as close she still helped him with his movie and she defends him when his movie gets hate#like in such an angry way he tries to brush it off but shes like NO NOBODY GETS TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT#and same when luke is shitty to him and tries to steal his camera rebecca lets that guy have it#and with luke even though she does hate him shes the only character who makes him see the good in himself#and she lets him know that hes fully capable of changing and being a good father and person#shes just so loving but at the same time so easily has a split where she cant stand anyone either#she thinks isabella is obnoxiously immature and is jealous as fuck of her and she is very quick to fight with ash#because he just doesnt show his love for her like she does for him and thats just such a problem like#that feeling that youll always love someone way more than anyone will ever love you and it makes her really upset#and like sometimes her feelings just get bitter so quick and at inappropriate times like when shes mad at isabella while shes fucking#in a literal coma because ashton is in love with her and not rebecca and shes just so like wrapped up in her own feelings there that she#completely disregards the entire situation and ashtons grief because she cant think about anything else she just cant help it#so yeah i think its just the way she feels emotions very strongly and switches between them very quickly that makes me think hm maybe#something is going on here 🤨 and i just love it i love her i love how shes just a character whos just like#got all these complicated feelings but shes still loved and gets to slay penis and simply exist as a complex person
0 notes
npdzane · 5 months ago
Text
I think the fandom of Ninjago should talk about Zane's fear of losing his humanity and his fear of any negative emotion in general. And how they contradict each other.
(warning, yap sesh ahead) TLDR: can nindroids get therapy? If so we need 5 therapists for Zane immediately
It's already established that Zane has a fear of being seen as just a machine, nothing but a freezer with fake coded emotions. But I haven't seen anyone talk in depth how he seems to turn off his emotions whenever he's faced with grief or stress, and how he only learnt to not do that far into his life.
He probably picked up that habit from when Dr. Julien turned off his memory switch before "dying" back in season 1. And he realized that if he went so long not feeling bad about the "death" of his creator by simply not remembering it or not having the actual emotion of grief, he wouldn't feel bad either when anything similar happened if he just turned off his emotions like Dr. Julien did to him.
The fact this lasted as long as it did meant nobody picked up on it* and tried to tell him he was wrong. Which only validated that idea because if there was a problem with it, someone would've told him..right?
But how can you say you don't want to lose your sense of humanity as a robot while simultaneously doing something humans can't whenever you're faced with stress? I'd say he'd overthink it, and feel guilty about not being honest with himself. He knows hes being irrational, but hes still terrified of the thought of no one seeing him as a person.
But at the same time, he's never been taught how to face stress by himself. Only for other people. It's not like he just doesn't know that ignoring your feelings is a way to avoid the problem and a bad coping mechanism, he obviously knows that. He probably just doesn't know any other solutions because his situation is so niche.
Because how could anyone not want what he has? In his position, he probably feels as if everyone would kill to be a nindroid. Since nobody tells him otherwise. We even see clips where the others use Zane's robot body as a joke or in one case, use him as a fucking cleaning robot. Can you imagine how dehumanizing it must feel for someone to be forced against their will like a puppet into doing a weeks worth of chores?
Zane probably feels as if his fears are irrational. Like he shouldn't have them because being a nindroid seems to be the only thing that others care about when they see him. He's a logical person for sure, but everyone has irrational thoughts and unless you face the reason you have those thoughts they aren't going to go away and they'll cloud your judgement. Zane, for sure, is not doing that. Because we can see he just simply forces himself to stop having emotions when they happen instead of facing them, which only fixes it temporarily.
So hes afraid of being seen as just a freezer with fake emotions (i have more to say about the "fake emotions" part), and because he doesn't face his feelings about why hes afraid of that he lets himself believe that is how people see him. Which causes him to think that fear is stupid and that he shouldn't have it, which makes him turn off his emotions for a while, and the cycle continues.
He also might believe his emotions arent needed. Like maybe at some point he convinces himself that if everyone else only sees him as a calculator with ice powers, maybe that's what he actually is. So on top of everything, he feels like since hes only a computer, all his emotions are fake. Therefore unnecessary.
Not to mention he most likely feels as if he's weak for letting Vex manipulate him. And emotions = weak, weak = manipulated again, manipulated again = letting everyone down. But thats just a little thought i had to let out.
If i could write I'd probably make a fic about him being confronted by this fear, but until then it'll stay in my brain.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Poor boy. Just look at him. He doesn't deserve this bro AUUGIGUGJGJGGHHGHHHH IM AUTISTIC 🥹
Tumblr media
Edit: *i rewatched crystalized today and realized the other ninja ARE aware of Zanes habit. They just dont gaf ��WHICH MAKES IT WORSE!!!
95 notes · View notes
whxtedreams · 3 months ago
Text
Flora is back from the dead.
guys, (gender nutural) I have been writing. WRITING! I REPEAT, WRITING!
what im writing:
its a mute reader (until she isn't) x joel one shot. She's best friends with Tommy. (Safety blanket!Tommy). Tommy calls reader, "my Shadow, Shadow" because she follows him around like a shadow. Joel calls her "owl" because shes a night owl and quiet. Reader is Maria's lil personal assistant. Reader uses a mini white board to talk when facial expressions and shrugs arent enough. She throws things at tommy to get his attention. Tommy is so soft to reader. Reader is in therapy. Reader has a collection of mugs. She really likes mugs. Tommy feeds this obsession. Reader is dependent on Tommy, until Joel comes around. Maybe unhealthy but she's in therapy. Set in Jackson. Joel likes that she doesn't talk his ear off. Tells Ellie that she could learn a thing or two from reader (jokingly). Tommy is very protective over reader. Maybe a protective feral tommy scene. (Because im feral for him oops) Joel and reader end up really close. Reader has feelings for Joel. Joel has feelings for reader. no smut (because i cant write smut for the life of me) but they may think unholy thoughts. but this is just a sweet fic, about healing and just having someone who understands you and really knows you. A deep connection. someone to look after you. as of today i have 2.4k written and Joel hasn't had any interaction with reader yet so its a longer one shot. Don't know when it'll be out, hopefully by next week.
preview of a jackson!joel x mute!reader one shot under the cut
On the bench, you close your eyes and curl into yourself, your knees pulling up toward your chest. A wave of emotion wells up inside you, a sob caught in your constricted chest. The night feels both unbearably silent and unbearably loud, each second crawling by like an eternity. And you can’t help but think how much you hate Joel. The next conscious thought registers only when you feel yourself being carried through the dark house, cradled against Tommy's chest. Somehow you must have dozed off on the porch, losing track of time and space. Now, you find yourself being gently tucked into a bed in Tommy's guest room, the world a blur from your sleepy daze. Tommy's voice, gentle and caring, fills your ears as he murmurs softly. "Sleep well my Shadow." With a gentle touch, he switches off the lamp beside the bed. The sudden darkness wraps around you like a soft, comforting embrace, enveloping you in its peaceful stillness. And for the first time that week, you do sleep well.
34 notes · View notes
jumpyasslibra · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Decided to finally do this since la squadra is my favorite group, lol. Im willfully ignoring canon heights because i do not believe that pesci is only 5'5 now to hcs! PESCI: -his family adopted proscuitto when he was only 10, so they arent blood related at all. -has an entire tank of fishes, all of which have names. Its one of the only things he gets scary about. -despite the others attempts to mock her for her appearance, Pesci really enjoys pineapple scented things. -Goes by Pesci, Alvaro, Allie, Varo, etc. Really likes when the other switch up the name they use for her PROSCUITTO: -Greek/italian -Adopted by Pesci's family when he was 13 -Love-hate relationship with formaggio (exes) -tries to hide his relationship with pesci so that she isnt as aggressively compared to him -carries a spare lipstick for Pesci in his suit pocket -also carries hand warmers for ghiaccio SORBET: -Birthname doesnt matter, Anyone looking for it tends to regret it -white streak is from gelato using his stand on him so often -likes to preserve bugs, has an assortment of pinned and wet specimens -he works out alot so that his chest is more pectoral then natural breast tissue, thusly he hasnt gotten top surgery and likely never will -Mentored ghiaccio due to his own stand being a good counter to the mans explosive emotions GELATO: -German/italian - his ears are naturally pointier than others -has a wing earring for Sorbet since vasco means crow -his stand allows him to talk to people via psuedo telepathy so he uses it on sorbet alot -prosthetic eye from a job gone wrong long before he joined passione -has a knife collection GHIACCIO: -He used to compete in ice skating which is what led to his unfortunate life when his coach started to effectively sell "private" time to pay off his own gambling debts -Ghiaccio killed the guy who was trying to creep on him by brutally beating him with his skates, obviously he was arrested at only 14. This is where risotto found him and decided to take a chance on him -white album has caused his natural internal temperature to drop to facilitate its abilities without killing him outright, so he is always cold -vision is worse than pre-stand due to his tears freezing before they can leave the eye area most times MELONE: -Shockingly, he's the one who was born into the mafia lifestyle due to his mother. She was a medic for the mafia that existed pre diavalo and swore herself to him after he rose to power -effectively the medic of the team with sorbet being a pseudo anesthetic provider. -for those unaware, his sexuality effectively boils down to desiring another until they desire you too. He likes the idea of having relationships where he isn't actually desired by his partner. -blind in his covered eye -one of the first to take polpo's test FORMAGGIO: -Knows all of pesci's fish by their names -wears a compression sleeve on his left arm due to a childhood injury that messed up his elbow -his head scars come from his stand test and, like ghiaccio and risotto, he fell ill after his stand was awakened -came from an abusive house life which is what effected his stands ability. He gets upset when it's mocked because it feels like a direct attack against him as a child, who wanted to just disappear from view -dated proscuitto when they were both fresh faced in the mafia -pet name abuser, he loves using them for anyone and everyone. Likes to make unique ones for everyone (ex: proscuitto is Ranuncolo or buttercup) ILLUSO: -deceptively sweet looking -his parents wanted a daughter and tried for years to raise him as one, they only stopped once he hit puberty and they couldn't really hide the effects it had on his body -very firm in his masculinity regardless of his appearance, he'll often sick one of the others on anyone who dares question his sex -gives everyone a unique mirror to put in their room so that he can move around the whole base and alert them without interfering with their personal aesthetic -best gift giver -sock stealer, hides them in mirror world
RISOTTO: -Mostly recruits on vibes when people aren't assigned to him specifically -directly involved in both ghiaccio and illuso joining -always cold and likely anemic -he actually really hates the taste of blood, its one of the few things that just naturally break his cool facade -allergic to lavender but tries to keep it a secret because like, how is a big scary man like him losing a fight against a flower -carries eyedrops for proscuitto and ghiaccio -demands they all eat together when everyone is actually home -has a small photo of his cousin tucked on his person whenever hes on a job, quietly turning to it to dissuade any possible guilt he may feel about his work
15 notes · View notes
our-inspire-verse · 2 years ago
Text
I've been super aware of switches and who's fronting lately. I can recognize who's voice is whos, various memories and feelings and body language. I can even almost pinpoint how people talk based on where in my throat or chest they're using my bodys voice
Its taken me probably about 2 years to get to this point and its taken documentation, constant asking myself questions and so much patience
These questions include
Who am i
What names do i resonate with
What do i look like inside
Where am i from
What do i remember
What is familiar about where im at, and have i fronted here yet(often asked at work or in my current home)
How do i know the people around me
Do i particularly like or dislike something
What are my base emotions (alters cant be boiled down to singular emotions necessarily but some tend to experience one more than others and it can help section them off)
How old are they
How many are there
Can they speak or are they semi-verbal, mute, or do they talk in ways that arent words(some use music or animal noises or just communicate telepathically)
There are loads of other questions and its not like i go through the entire list every time but things like this have helped me figure out a lot more about my system. It's about who affects what, what triggers who, and how everyone navigates the world and why.
This may not work for everyone but im hoping this resource may help someone
84 notes · View notes
5-htagonist · 8 days ago
Text
psychiatry pisses me off so fucking much because WHYYYYY is medicine prescribed like that.
schizophrenia: youre crazy so i dont believe ur experiences. Heres a higher than necessary dose of an antipsychotic to get you under control ensure yours and others safety <3 whats that? youre less fulfilled on the medicine? welll at least you arent an evil scary killer. Also this is definitely your only and worse problem and no one cares about your diet or habits.
autism: youre a child so i dont believe ur experiences. Lets reprogram you and give you stimulants typically for adhd so youll control yourself and stop being so angry and impulsive and emotional and focus on what i want you to. This is your only and worse problem so im not going to consider that you might have adhd or that youre overstimulated and your environment should change.
depression: everyones depressed so heres the pills you know what to do. This will fix it and if it doesnt well just switch over and over and if no medicine works well call you treatment resistant. ill recommend therapy but keep medicating even if i know it wont help without therapy. Whats that? you need your material circumstances helped? Well nothing medicine and therapy can do about that ha ha ha.
like. OBVIOUSLY. a lot of the time mental health medications are NECESSARY!!!!! NECESSARY for intervention. ideally, you should focus on your diet first. then focus on your sleep and circadian rhythm. then focus on movement (NOT exercise. you dont need to exercise you just need to MOVE!). THENNNN if those things are in check TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY then medication should be approached. and therapy and support can be present at every step.
of course that cant happen for everyone. if youre in the midst of a majorly life disrupting psychotic, depressive, manic, or other intense mental health crisis... yes you might want medication to be your first line. it is HARDER to take care of diet, rhythm, and movement if you are having mental health issues. but systematically speaking, the amount of focus on medicine and therapies OVER diet rhythm and movement is not helpful, actually. its this weird conception that the Physical Doctors are for all that, and the Mental Doctors fix your brain. have you ever cut sodas and other high-sugar concentration foods from your regular diet? that alone can improve symptoms of depression and brain fog. i dont know. i get frustrated.
i just. i love medicine, i really do... starting adhd medicine from a younger age improves outcomes regarding early death, addiction, life satisfaction, educational attainment, job stability, and more. the earlier you start, if you need it, the better your outcomes. its been miraculous for me. even something as basic and unhealthy as me being a stupid piece of shit stoner is affected positively. i have less stimulus seeking behaviors, so i dont run out nearly as often. the impulse to buy doesnt come up as often, because i dont burn through everything just trying to meet my psychological need for stimulation. likewise, multiple family members are on the same antidepressant as me. i was on the track to totally shutting down when i started them at 12. being stable enough to manage my anxiety and pay attention to my sensory needs was life saving. with my adhd being untreated and undiagnosed at the time, i still wasnt on top of everything. even medicated i struggle with hygiene. but with my antidepressant i stopped ignoring so many of my sensory needs. so at the very least, i had indicators like hair and smell that i could no longer ignore. i love medicine.
but RAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE PHARMA I HATE PSYCHIATRY
2 notes · View notes
clusterrune · 1 year ago
Text
"its okay to be not okay" replacements
["its okay to not be okay" replacements]
in the case of toxic positivity.
Tumblr media
as my qpp pointed out, the lack of the use of the phrase "its okay to not be okay", needs to be normalized. we need to normalize not being okay, but change our phrasing so we dont make this "not okay" feeling seem like a defult emotion rather than the signal it is.
while its normal to not feel okay that doesnt mean its actually okay to feel that way. feeling bad, sad, down, hurt, guilt, etc are all signs something is wrong and it needs working out.
saying its okay to feel that way brushes off the whole point that youre supposed to look into why you feel that way.
i also found an article bringing up a similar point here(link)
here's some better phrasing and quotes from a conversation we had on discord:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
3. "why dont you tell me about it/how you feel/your day, and we'll figure something out?"
this one offers a space to talk and figure out more about the "not okay" feeling as well as what may have caused it. sometimes people need to hear that its normal in the way that they'll feel heard.
4. to quote myself. "its normal to feel, but this feeling is telling you something is wrong and you need help working it out." feeling and having emotions is normal, its humanoid, its what a majority of living things if not all expirience. you are not to be ashamed for that and being made aware or reminded of the functions of feelings in general can help avoid or lessen that shame they might feel on top.
5. "its not wrong to feel a certain way" you dont have to necissarily encourage them to talk, but letting them know their emotions arent something they can turn off or on like a light switch let alone be at fault for, is a good start to things. its not wrong to have a reaction, thats normal, what you need to figure out is why you reacted that way. get to the route of the feeling.
6. "feeling bad is acceptible/normal"
a little weak but again, still a good start like other phrases.
7. "expiriencing (emotion) is completely natural"
more of another sentance starter than an entire phrase itself but its a good prompt and echorages digging deeper and opening up without feeling like youre weird/in the wrong/out of place for feeling that way.
of course you are entirely free to add your own phrases and/or even alter these to the specific context youre in, as you see fit. the more options the better and easier communication may be.
@syth-de-rolo as de rolo and @thetravelerstale as traveler
15 notes · View notes
a-student-out-of-time · 2 years ago
Note
MOD
Tumblr media
I SWEAR
YOU HAVE TO BE CORRECT THAT AREI IS ALIVE
IF YOU ARENT
I WILL COMMIT ATROCITIES
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
//I've seen continuous doubts about my theory, and for both Timeline Anon and others, this scene felt to them like the final nail in the coffin for that theory
//The fact that you're all immediately writing her off as dead when we're not even at the halfway point and there are so many unanswered questions is astounding.
//Ahem.
//If she's gone, explain to me why there's still so many unanswered plot threads and interesting character details
Why is it that J was the one who brought up that secret? A secret that Arei herself admitted she overheard, which directly lead into that flashback scene with those two?
Why has J been going so ham on Arturo this entire time? Yes, one could easily say it's because she's sick of him and put two and two together, but honestly, it seems like a bit of a leap from "you told me you wished you had a brother like mine instead of a sister" to "your sister killed herself"
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
//Again, I can totally understand her being vindictive over this, given all the shit Arturo's caused her and Eden. But from how Arturo was acting, honestly, I'm inclined to believe he didn't actually say anything like that
//But you know what makes perfect sense? The details that lead into my next point
3. We have an established time frame thanks to the alibis. We know that the scene with Arei and Eden took place not long after the playground breakdown.
Tumblr media
//That means that was a large window of time for the two of them to switch places. But why?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
//That's incredibly sweet, and we know she wants more friends. And we know that, at the same time, J has been dealing with Arturo. Arei just saw J pull a scalpel on Eden over his secret, so why wouldn't she want to immediately jump to the other person she likes in her own way?
//The person that's had to deal with him far longer than Eden. Why wouldn't she want to give J a hand after that?
Tumblr media
4. Again, we know that Arei knows that there's a murderer in the group, and even if the switch wasn't about that specifically, that probably means that she was likely trying to help with that. This means that, if the blackened of this case isn't the murderer, she had no idea who actually did it. Why reveal herself then? That would make her the most suspicious.
5. Maybe it's just me, but I can't shake the feeling that J has been acting weird these last few episodes. She's an aggressive person, and admitted in her intro that she's judgemental, but there's never been indication that she's been this vindictive. Even regarding her own secret, this feels especially harsh.
Tumblr media
6. This moment right here feels interesting to focus on
Tumblr media Tumblr media
//Of all things to say?
7. The biggest one for me right now is actually Charles and Whit. Clearly, those two know something's up. There may not be a conspiracy going on in this group like I initially thought, but Whit is another person who Arei clearly was close with last chapter. He was the one who cut off Teruko learning about the note at first, and then there's this bit after Eden's story
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
//What are you two up to? What are you hiding?
//I'd almost be tempted to say they're suggesting Arei was actually lying, but that feels at odds with the ways they've acted and what they're saying. Not to mention Charles looks more embarrassed than concerned or angry
//Furthermore, there's the fact that there was so much attention drawn to Charles having a secret, including a CG and telling Teruko to reveal it during the trial...and then we got no follow-up on that. He was just like "Oh yeah, guess I didn't need to. It was Eden's."
//I don't buy it. There's clearly more going on here
8. Finally, the fact that they had an emotional scene like this? Not even halfway into the trial? If it was after the intermission or near the climax, if that was the last scene we got with Arei, I might've bought it. But putting it here? Not a chance. This has to be leading somewhere.
//Plus, you know who else was convinced their best friend was dead? Shuichi and Maki. And guess what? Them believing Kaito was dead was all part of the plan
//There's also the many, many unanswered questions throughout this chapter, from what it was Arei's crying reminded her of (again, still not followed up on), to Teruko's prosopagonsia (no, that isn't just here to set up something for a future case, I'm sure of it), to whatever the hell is going on with Nico, Hu, David and Ace, who are part of their own drama right now
//Yeah, sorry, I'm only increasingly convinced that I'm right about this. Admittedly, we keep getting thrown so many curveballs that it's getting harder to make sense of it all regarding the exact motive.
//But the fact that J has said things that it seems like only Arei would say and do, particularly being vindictive toward Arturo? And acted in weird ways, like being super concerned about Arei's well-being early on, saying things like "even if the person you tried to kill is still alive," all of it just odd to me
//I'm not in denial and I'm not saying this as copium, I mean that earnestly. There are so many weird writing moments and character bits, combined with hanging plot threads, that it leads me to believe that this is what they're building up to. It's really the only thing that makes sense to me right now
//Clearly they had a plan with Arei from the beginning, given that we got this huge emotional scene with her and Eden, but that can't be all there is to it. It's a sad and emotionally satisfying moment for her character to end on, but placing it here so early honestly leaves me convinced there's more to come
33 notes · View notes
cdid-pf-culture-is · 11 months ago
Note
I'm unsure if this is the right place to ask a question like this, but I think I need advice
We are a P-DID system, or at least we think we are. We have began to question polyfragmented / complex DID because we have a lot of the signs / symptoms (most of our alters are level 4 fragments / not developed too much past their role, we have a large innerworld with multiple layers, we have around 11 known subsystems, some group some alter-in-alter, we have complex splitting structures / we split tons of alters from even the tiniest amount of stress and stuff like that). But we're unsure if we're actually polyfragmented because we're pretty sure we're P-DID and many people have been saying you can't be complex / polyfragmented while being P-DID. (We're pretty sure we have P-DID because our host acts as a dominant alter and is always in front, hes never left front to our knowledge, and we don't really have too much amnesia other than greyouts and emotional amnesia)
its ok! things are a bit chaotic right now but i will try to answer as diligently as i can.
we can relate to this actually. we also thought we had P-DID but then discovered that we have alters of varying degrees of dissociation/amnesia/elaboration. thats not all to it but i will explain that in a bit.
you are right with OSDD/P-DID not being able to be polyfragmented. the theory of structural dissociation explains that well and its basically impossible to have a less dissociated system structure but still be polyfragmented since its not just "a lot of alters".
what helped us with these things is trying to keep an open mind and keeping in mind that labels arent an absolute. we really wanted to find our label too and that can help at first but dont get stuck on finding it or get stuck on putting yourself into a box. that can have more of a negative effect than you might think.
second off, its ok to have grey-outs and emotional amnesia even if you are a polyfragmented system. the varying levels of dissociation mean that there wont just be one huge blackout, because the system was built on maintaining covertness. blackout amnesia isnt by far the norm and not necessary for a complex structure.
if you believe that you have multiple levels of alters, layers, subsystems, a complex inner world, a lower splitting tolerance or other splitting patterns, complex fronting patterns, a lot of fragments, etc (ik you mentioned some of those), then its perfectly reasonable to assume you have a complex/polyfragmented structure and say you are a complex/polyfragmented system and taking the label. in the end if you feel comfortable with things then thats what counts.
also you can have the switching style of a P-DID System because of how your system had to develop in terms of covertness, but that doesnt mean that P-DID is all there is, yknow. like i said before, we can relate because we once thought the same thing. but non-possessive switching is a thing and its just as valid as full on possessive switching. its way more common too and especially for polyfrag systems not to have full/entire switches also due to the number of fragments we often have.
i hope i answered everything. if you have more questions or need a clearer answer then please dont hesitate to ask! i am a bit out of order and very dissociated so things might read a bit weird but ill try my best to answer stuff!!
6 notes · View notes
flowersfallingdown · 2 years ago
Note
i have a system question! so from other systems, ive heard about confronting and im just curious about how that works/feels for you? (also if thats vague and makes it hard to answer: how does it happen majority of the time, how do the people* fronting decide what to do, does it feel separate from not fronting etc etc. what ever yall think is relevant to mention)
*i know that most likely at least a couple of the members of your system arent human i just dont want to assume on what yall like to be called
Alright this is probably gonna be more rambley than our last answer but !
To start off with our switches/cofronts happen pretty randomly. We’re still not the best with communication and knowing what our triggers are so something that may cause multiple people to be up front one day might not have the same affect the next.
However, despite what I just said about our communication not being the best, I would say that once two or more of us are up front we can talk quite easily.
We like using a version of the car metaphor. The front is a car. There’s different roles/levels of control in the car. The person driving is the main one in charge, they have the most control over the movement of the body, what we say, and other stuff like that. The person in the driver’s seat is the second in command. Although they might not have as much control, they’re still giving a lot of input. Then there’s the people in the back, who are still there but aren’t really contributing to making the body do things. Of course, multiple people can be in one position or no people can be in a position!
A few of us also have certain ‘fronting indicators’ like phantom limbs, songs that get stuck in our head, or emotions. When co-fronting these indicators might blend together (for instance an alter who has phantom wings as his indicator fronts with another alter who has phantom horns as their fronting indicator and thus we would have both phantom wings and horns).
Also fun fact there’s two of us up front right now actually. Me (the host) and another member who does not wish to be named.
Oh and one more final thing thanks for asking about the people thing we’ve never really thought about those terms and how we like them. I used it in this kinda as a general term because I couldn’t think of a better word and because I like it but I’m gonna try and see how everyone else feels about it. The other member up front currently doesn’t like it though. So yay! We’re all learning
Idk this is definitely a ramble especially at the end and I’m really tired sorry
5 notes · View notes
playboynanners · 1 year ago
Text
i wanna start off by telling u i am sorry!! i wanna tell u about all this crazy shit in my head, and want to open up and want to talk about my feelings but no matter what, i just cant make out the right words...? like it feels like cant properly put my thoughts and emotions into words i guess??
all i want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because its killing me inside. i cant take it anymore. i feel weird. i dont want to do anything. i always feel tired. i dont have any energy. a part of me broken. something is def weighing on my heart. i just feel so fucking suffocated. i feel like i am so far behind in life that i will never catch up. everyone is doing so many things with their lives. and i am just here. i really dont think i can do this its getting dark again. and im afraid. im too tired to carry on. i want MYSELF back bro is that too much to ask for? i deffff know its getting bad because even sleep and music dont help and i feel sick all the time and i just want to disappear. i really feel like there is no happy ending for me . thats why getting through the days is hard rayen i honestly from the bottom of my heart know its all for nothing. u guys are waiting for me to get over it, to finally do something with my life, and i know u guys are getting impatient. but what u guys dont know is that im already gone. i dont like who i am. there is nothing good about me. i am sick of wasting my time. i am worn out. i so fucking tired. the anxiety consumes me at times i feel like i cant breathe i cant think straight intrusive thoughts of self distraction consume my mind i am sooo fucking sick of this version of myself!!!!! im fucking tired of the poor choices i keep making. i truly believe i have hit rock bottom. this is the humblest i have ever been because my ego has nothing to be proud of. i know i knowww it is important to be gentle with myself but its also crucial to be honest. im not taking care of myself. im doing drugs, im on social media all day. i either dont eat healthy, or i dont eat at all. i dont exercise. i watch things that arent positive and go to sleep and wake up late. i am sick to my stomach as i write this. i just want to go up from here because i cant live this way anymore. i dont wanna live this way anymore. but like if you never felt like the way i do right now... the drained , depression . WORTHLESS feeling ... then u cant say shit about me "getting better starts with yourself bs" LIKE UH ? YEAH I HATE MYSELF AND DONT GIVE A FUCKKKKK ABOUT NUN SO WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? like i honestly didnt even think i would be alive at my age i thought i wouldve been dead by 20 so u can only imagine how lost i feel lol. i dont know what to do with my life and i feel like im just wasting away most days. and i dont fucking know how to fix it. maybe this is my time for me and im supposed to be enjoying it for exactly what it is? like i dunno i just know i always fucking ruin EVERYTHINGGGG . i casually sabotage all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesnt feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring. i really want to kill whats inside of my head. i hate living like this day after day. i just want my pain to end bro . i see how everyone looks at me like i’m a burden, how they fake concern only to switch up at me the next second. i don’t want to be this way, im so lost and alone and i just don’t see the point anymore. this is the loneliest i have ever felt. i don't have a shoulder to cry on when im sad, i have got legit no one to go to. i have noooo tears left to cry dude. my heart hurts so much. my insides are burning. i dont know how to help myself. i legitimately try and i make it worse. i wanna scream all this hurt and pain out. can i just lose my memory just so i can take a break from feeling this way? im not sure how long i can handle this alone anymore all honesty .
Tumblr media
AND i wouldnt say im "addicted" to drugs and alcohol (JUST YET lol) butttt what i hate about liking them is that once you know how that high feels and the break from reality you get from everything you will FOREVER know how good it felt and thats the problem. u can be days, months, years of being clean. but i know when you quit its gonna be hard years down the road. i would take it alllll back and not start doing any of it. it turns from "just one time trying it" to "i promise this is the last time" but all honestly i dont know how to stop or be normal in this world sober anymore.
and to sum it alllll up i just want / need someone who can hug me and tell me that im not as worthless as i think i am i feel so fucking empty sometimes and its so exhausting to feel nothing and everything at the same time.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
pixeljade · 11 months ago
Text
This 👆
Like. I'm genuinely sorry that the Democrats arent a perfect party. Hell, there isnt a day that goes by that their bullshit doesnt piss me off. But I still vote blue in the fucking general election because it DOES make a fucking difference!
Also, its about the long game, here. If we want to tear down capitalism, or even just this two-party system, we need to first remove the nonstop threat of republicans. If we get democrats into enough positions in these states, for long enough, they can *undo the rigging that the republicans have done*. We've seen states where dems took over and removed all the gerrymandering, and you know what happens? They *always* become blue long-term. Now imagine if that happens in enough states that the Republican party no longer has a really viable path to winning the presidency. We have maybe a couple of terms of 70/30 democrat supermajority, but then we see the progressive wing mobilize and form their own party out of about 30% of that. Now, bam, we've got three parties, and the party lines start to reshuffle! We end up with the more moderate republicans joining the democrats, while the hard-right folks become fringe politicians treated as seriously as libertarians; meanwhile the more left-leaning folks finally have someone reasonable to vote for in elections, which slowly boosts the power of the progressive wing.
Now, suddenly, we've got not only a world where queer people arent being threatened by electoral politics (good) but also our previous "ratchet effect" political situation switches direction: your vote is now between "keep things the same" (Democrats) and "progress towards something new" (Progressives) (Also good!) And most importantly this improves lives enough that those of us who actually wish to tear down capitalism have a chance!
In a post I wrote up the other day, I compare tearing down capitalism to The Hunger Games, and how it required people not only working outside the system but within it as well to tear down that system in the story. The same is true here; we cannot just all grab weapons and start rioting bigger until the twoers topple. You cant blow up their money, because its all digital, and you will never get far so long as our only two options for president are going to build up the surveillance state steadily. You *have to* have a long con here. And the people who refuse to vote or vote third party in this current situation HAVE NO PLANS, they merely have emotions. Your anger will not suffice.
This is a fundamental safety issue.
5K notes · View notes
meatriarchived2 · 4 months ago
Note
hi! i just had a question to ask. when you’re writing dialogue for a character that isn’t your own but like from a media like tcm, how do you make sure that it doesn’t sound like a completely different person?
oooohh hmm. hopefully what i toss down here makes any amount of sense, nonnie! im running on some rough sleep so hopefully words can work for me while typing this out ♡
( also realize now zooming out and staring blankly at this that i yap-fested at you im so sor- )
Tumblr media
so for me, personally, like i do recommend when it comes to canon characters esp is to kick back and rewatch scenes of them and everything. start taking note of things like. letters they drop from words ( ie. dropping the 'g' at the ends ), things like that. common words & phrases they repeat and toying around with those. theres always little things you can pick up from canons esp if they have a fair chunk of literal dialogue, quotes, etc you could sit there and listen to repeatedly. if there's roles from movies or shows etc that you might feel also fit for the character you intend to write but isnt actually of that character themselves? using those as reference points can also be super helpful!!
for example, with luda bc her actress is unfortunately no longer with us, i'll sometimes rewatch some of k.athy bates' work to help with mannerisms and dialogue and emotions! particularly her role in say, t.itanic, where she's sometimes a lil' snarky, sometimes a lil' harsh-tongued, but she has a warmth to her character towards jack that comes out very motherly, very nurturing. sometimes studying outside works & actors can really help with building a completely different character up! ^_^
but also? find that it helps to really just enjoy the character as they are and fixate on them. bc while yes many writers are ridiculously Good at almost perfectly copy-pasting how a character sounds from the source into their writing? im also someone who alters their voices to personal interpretation! ie. with our mom luda, again, i try to focus her characterization and alongside that her voice moreso to the '06 film from the remakes bc i find that to be far more aligned with how i view her. luda's a very strong, maternal woman who is fiercely protective of her boys & family. we see more of that nurture, that gentler side of her in '06 - while '03 ( which can argue the switch-up in personality for the most part is understandable within plot context ) characterizes her far more harsh, far more stern and cold - particularly towards her own grandson which, to me, feels wildly out of character for her despite technically being canon and so, i disregard most of that canon personality & voice for her.
generally speaking, i've written a whole mess of different types of characters over the years, you start to in a sense create little "profiles" of character types and for me at least? i pick and choose from those that i feel works best to expand a canon character further than what their source has then down as. characters arent just hard-set as what canon throws them down as - sometimes the fun of it all is straying away to a degree from where they started as!
maria, for me, is probably the bigger stray-off than what gun may have intended for her. to be fair even with her being in the game now, im not entirely sure where their direction originally is for her personality etc., i just know that my intention for her portrayal had always been pinpointed at her being someone fairly soft, fairly gentle! bc anybody can sit there and like photography, or flowers, want to go off on little roadtrips, all of that. but i wanted there to be good reason as to why this group of friends could have been so compelled to have gone out looking for a friend who they arguably have only known for maybe a year or two or just a couple months even - and part of that reason is aiming to make maria come across as a character, as a friend, who seems so centerpoint in their shared dynamics with one other - someone whose presence being absent throws so much off. and not bc her role within the group is "so vital" that without her things entirely fall apart, but bc she made such an impact on them all that theres a jarring emptiness when shes not there.
her voice to me & the way i portray her, when working on her dialogue for replies etc., ideally shows different aspects of her character that i like to focus on. she's kind- & soft-hearted. shes a romantic at heart, so she likes to see the beauty and kindness in things and people and the world around her - that leads to a sense of naivety, where she's too trusting of people who may not actually deserve to be blindly trusted from the get-go ( me staring at lamb's johnny ). her dialogue and inner thoughts have those traits bleed into them ( or, at least i hope i show so in them! FNBJK ).
but her voice tends to switch to a degree depending who she's talking to! johnny, for example, she's often a little unsure of herself and her place beside him - she doesnt really know him, still navigating how he reacts to things, what sets him off. so her voice and mannerisms tend to be a little more cautious, slower. uncertain. with leland, for example, shes far more bubbly and energetic and they feed off of one anothers energy! theyre sunshine-to-sunshine coded, same stardust, etc. and so, shes more teasing and laughter and warm with him, she trusts him wholeheartedly. and in bad situations, she's terrified with whats going on around them and shes terrified for him - bc of the fact that he brave-faces so much and puts himself between her and a threat. and that fear bleeds into her voice & mannerisms & dialogue.
i strayed and rambled a little BUT - i think alot of the fun when you start writing, even for a canon character who has a certain way of speaking that the creator intended on, is getting to expand on them with your own personal twists and style! every iteration, portrayal, interpretation of a character is unique to the next, and oftentimes its that writers' personal take that really lets them glow and shine more than what even their creators' have done for them! i would say - which probably sounds easier said than putting it into action - just connecting to and loving the character and wanting to do them justice or wanting to build them up further really helps. i think what writers often do when they take on canons especially is that they simply grow very much in love, in a sense, with said character and want to do good by them. and i feel thats the case for me with maria for example, or lamb with johnny, kels with leland, rae with connie, scout with danny.
while theres plenty of like, technical / logistical things you could do to help with sticking as close as possible to say gun's voice actors for the characters - like pulling up a video of their voicelines and listening to them several times over, studying their tone or the way they adjust pitch lower and higher depending on how theyre saying their lines, the emotions behind what theyre saying, etc., or using other media sources as inspo too - i do truly believe that sticking strictly to their canon voices isnt something to worry or stress yourself over too much! ^_^ sometimes interpretations simply feel more organic and lifelike when you let yourself take your own spin to the character!
and if its your first time really writing, or writing as said character? i dont think you should put too much pressure on yourself to make their voice exactly like how they sound in canon! let yourself have the wiggle room to explore and expand them in a way that feels right and makes sense to you! alot of how maria's turned out now, a full year after picking her up, is because of how much she's been built up not just bc of my own building of her character but bc of the building of her bonds and dynamics with others! she would not be as fleshed out as she is right now without the specific love and care and dynamics that were build in that time with lambs' johnny, kels' leland, raes' connie and now, slowly but surely, scouts' danny too ♡
this all probably sounds all over the place i apologize but bottom line i think - i wouldn't stress over trying to make sure that they dont sound like an entirely different character to canon. ^_^ yes you can work on their dialogue to make sure that they still align generally with their canon characterizations, but over time i think with writing them? you'll end up pouring alot of yourself into the character, your own spin of them, and be influenced by those you write them against. i'd say let yourself find and stick with what feels right to you on how they should speak, how they feel and interpret and showcase their emotions and mannerisms! its entirely alright to stick more to their respective canons! and its also entirely alright to stray from it as well! ♡
Tumblr media
thank you for saying i could ask more questions whenever i get confused. i’d love to start writing but i don’t know where to start so i just thought asking people that i look up to or like their writing style would be a good place to start i hope you have a nice night/day
sorry you don’t have to reply to this. i’m just very like intimidated by reaching out to people to actually talk to them but thank you so much for thinking about replying to the question. i’m trying to learn how to write as sonny or julie and i’m scared of like turning them into some random character with dialogue
i'm tacking on the both of these here as well so hopefully thats alright ♡
sorry for the full-on yap fest above but i hope theres something in that answer that might be remotely helpful in the slightest for you!! and i hope it makes a lick of sense!! ;w; you're absolutely more than welcome to drop any questions at all and i'll do my best to come up with an answer! ^_^ i love little questions so please know you can drop by and ask something at any time, i dont mind at all!
but also wanna say thankyou for the kind words too! ♡ its so so sweet knowing anyone outside of our little corner here enjoys what we toss around at one another, and though i dont post too often at the moment im happy that you like our takes on our silly little guys to send these in! i know we appreciate these questions and the sweet sentiments so much ♡
you're very welcome though ♡ again i hope that theres something in all that rambling that maybe helps, or maybe eases that worry about making any character sound too different from their source material. like i noted i do believe that while theres definitely ways to try and capture canons' voices and dialogue, its also perfectly alright to allow yourself the grace and space to make a character your own! and sometimes, that difference between canon portrayal and personal interpretation are worlds apart - and sometimes thats simply the beauty of writing for a character!
i do completely understand the fear of them sounding out of character, especially while starting to attempt to write as them. but i think its more than okay to make sure you're gentle and patient with yourself while navigating their respective voices, over time you'll find what feels right for them, what clicks best, and yes there'll be moments even after you've written for them for a while where you may second-guess what you're doing for them. still get that sometimes for maria! but i'd say try to remember to just have fun with exploring them as characters! ^_^ theres no right or wrong way to write a character, so long as you just. enjoy what youre doing, where youre taking them, and love them.
i think for now ill hush up but again, nonnie, thank you so much for sending the question and the kind words in! ♡ i hope, again, any of this makes sense and im happy to elaborate or answer other questions you may have!
i hope you have a lovely morning / afternoon / night wherever you may be, nonnie!
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
malinelle · 10 months ago
Text
the thing with the breakdancing dad thing is like . for clarify i am in almost the same situation as ppl think shes in i was raised by my mom who was financially neglecting me and cutting my dad off from me when he wanted to see me and she was taking the child support money he was paying her to spend on herself i am the person who is the most in a position to sympathize with him but like i just dont. bec okay
that wasnt that many videos and the fact that its all holidays and special events isnt at all contradictory with 'he was there for some big events but he wasnt There in our lives', and the fact that this is also just like how home videos tend to work makes them really not convincing "evidence" of a happy childhood. like were u expecting to see videos of her saying she fucking hates her dad and hes never there for her To The Camera. when i was with my moms side of the family obviously you smile for pictures and act cute in front of the camera bc they get mad at you if you dont! also hes REALLY invading their privacy by posting videos that arent even of her and are instead of his other kids who literally have nothing to do with this. ALSO childhood evidence is always going to be skewed in the parent's favor bc the kid straight up isnt old enough to rly be able to advocate for themselves. notice how the videos switch to photos as she gets older meaning we have no idea how they interacted when they talked and the one text message she shows is them interacting rly awkwardly like two distant acquaintances
man fuck this dude for calling it "brainwashing". like Again it literally happened to me my mom was lying to me to steal money that was meant for us but he could just. say that. the concrete thing she did wrong. instead of being like It Was The Genders.
theres no proof that he paid anything. he said millions but like he just said that. people can lie. very silly and quirky that he has video evidence of his 10 yr old kid talking about youtube as definitive proof he was a loving father but he cant figure out how to censor one of the bajillion emails they send you when you pay medical bills. tbc i dont rly think he shouldve posted either bc again sensitive information but if youre gonna doxx your kids at least do it in a way that looks less like youre trying to use unreliable footage to make an emotional appeal over the Factual Innacuracies. same thing with screenshots of all the insane bitchy things your daughter and wife are totally saying
the most damning thing: dude you have your daughters phone number. if you really had a good relationship and she was exaggerating to make a story funnier you wouldve messaged her like "??? we made lasagna together last week why didnt you tell me i abandoned you at your mothers doorstep" and she wouldve been like "im sorry father i sold you out for views" and then she wouldve made a video breaking keyfabe. personally i dont believe women are insane gender-brainwashed lunatics so i figure she had her reasons
he stresses their politics differ a lot so my actual projection is that i figure madi as a kid was fine with her dad only showing up for holidays and not really being around and wasnt really thinking about money stuff but then as she grew up she started re-examining their relationship and drifted away from him as he became a sexist bitcoin breakdancer and so eventually she had a negative enough view of him to make a pretty uncharitable video bc if you and your dad had a huge argument over him being a sexist bitcoin breakdancer and then you saw a tiktok challenge about funny trauma you might very well think "oh man. the fact that my dad divorced my mom and then started a breakdancing career is funny as hell. im going to flatten this fairly complicated family history to fit into a tiktok" and then when her dad who she doesnt like anymore made a public response she doubled down bc fuck that guy he hates women. its not like shes sending hitmen to his front door she made a mean tiktok. ppl are acting like this has destroyed his reputation but im gonna go out on a limb and say that the ppl making fun of him for being a deadbeat dad are probably not ppl who otherwise wouldve been fans of a sexist bitcoin breakdancer. i think his core audience was never gonna be shattered by this which i am more sure of bc even before he posted a reply bitcoin bros were gathering around him like protective mother birds. if he didnt want his daughter to disrespect him and re-examine his treatment of her as an adult with a more critical eye, personally i would suggest he be nicer to his daughter and not call her brainwashed or talk about how its all genders fault. i think that would really help convince her to have a more positive view of him
0 notes
lorisystem · 1 year ago
Text
So at some point i explained to my coworker that some amount of my dissociation can be voluntary (as in i can sort of try to fight it and ground myself instead of letting myself succumb to the fog lol- the thing is even when everything is a-ok im always at least a little ready to zone out and dissociate so like. It feels a bit like doing it on purpose sometimes) and she was like huh?? And today she was like you know what. Re: what you said, the other day something rlly bad and triggering happened and i thought like. Hey why dont we dissociate about it and it fucken Worked? Like an on and off switch, all my emotion was gone. And i was like yeaaaa lmao i do this 24/7, honestly cant imagine not doing that. Its bottle repress dissociate hours at the slightest inconvenience! There are downsides though dont do it everytime. And she was like, awesome how i can do that now though- so i had to warn her that the bad things arent gone just bc u do that, you still eventually have to deal w them. Yay teaching my coworker unhealthy coping mechanisms lmfao
1 note · View note