#emotional entrapment
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indiaalphawhiskey · 6 months ago
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I’ve been thinking about the evolution of these scenes a lot, and for all the flack part two gets, I think it perfectly illustrates one truth: Colin Bridgerton is consistent in his love to a fault, and he is hopelessly devoted to Penelope.
A lot of us (me) were bothered by him reducing their marriage to a show of his honor and nothing else, but, your honor, the scene on the right makes it clear that’s not true.
The actual truth is that he’d already forgiven her (in less than a day, mind you) — and he was angry at himself for how easy it was for him to do (common, unlucky lovesick fool that he is); angry at how Pen — even after embodying his ultimate dealbreaker — was really all that mattered to him now.
As @phantomphaeton said, what he was actually grappling with was emotional entrapment of it all — the harrowing realization that nothing, literally nothing, could make him not love her.
Because if you think about it, no matter what he may have said at the time, his honor wasn’t enough to make him stand by Marina. With her, honor had his limits. But with Pen? Nothing — not hell or high water — could stop that man from walking down the aisle.
And realizing that shocks him; it scares the living shit out of him, the acute knowledge that he’s so fucking far gone for her, he cannot fathom walking away, even from bloody Lady Whistledown.
So, when she suggests calling off the wedding, the man hurls that entrapment accusation at her with the ease of someone who’d been practicing it; someone who had a list ready to go at the slightest suggestion they break this off. In fact, he doesn’t even take it back when she says she doesn’t know if she will stop publishing, which, considering how much he wants her to stop, is actually super crazy, because it shows just how much he’s willing to put up with, if only just to keep her.
Anyway, Colin Dead Devoted Bridgerton, I look forward to analyzing even more of your desperately down bad clues.
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does shiv actually care abt loyalty?
thinking abt shivtom, then specifically WHY they're together i.e wrt shiv, made me reexamine logan's assessment of their relationship, i'd never thought too deeply abt it before, bc it certainly provoked a reaction from shiv (which was the point), and seemed biting enough, but i don't think that's quite what's going on there.
first off i don't think shiv's vice is loyalty, i don't think she was ever quite preoccupied with anyone's loyalty to her
(none of the siblings were — sans roman who was loyal TO logan and con, who chased after willa's love — [the two most romanticizing/complacent characters in relation to logan] but it could be argued that the two are the same thing manifesting differently),
let alone tom's, that's more logan's realm (projection lol? esp when he's notoriously disloyal and fickle in the romance department — and ACTUALLY pursues women below him, most notably kerry (also think its worth noting that when a woman did challenge him i.e gerri, he immediately devalues her, particularly interesting if you consider gerri's inclusion at the widow's table during his service — unless she was networking lol, doubly interesting considering his hypocrisies considering company dating/allegiance, ageism + desirability) — mans is NOTORIOUSLY noncommittal, esp as a means to ensnare ppl. which he and shiv DO share so maybe bru was cooking) and tom's, ironically [or not... more on that later].
loyalty, or one's preoccupation with it, is a possessive affliction, it demands, it is constantly evidenced and performed, its an anxious and insecure deficit — and this isn't to say that shiv isn't insecure (someone who opts for such shallow relationships and flits from vacuous intimacy to intimacy is obviously running from or compensating for smth), but she buries it, she disregards and bites back instead, opting to control and wound (treating things as tit for tat - transactional) —
shiv never really demanded things of tom, quite the opposite actually, she languished in his floundering, she pushed to see how much he could take, shiv shares caroline's judgement on the things logan loves: shiv too kicks to see if it will bother coming back, if it WANTS it bad enough. and shiv and logan are both cold and largely emotionally unavailable/unconcerned with emotion, and so the kind of passion that loyalty demands is largely absent from shiv & shivtom's dynamic, however the clinical, impassive manner in which shiv curates her life, CERTAINLY pertains to the way she moulds tom's place within it/her (😏).
to understand this, shiv's core fallibility has to actually be addressed, and that is - needing to be right™, or specifically, superior. shiv wants the sort of veneer that logan has earned, she wants to laud her superiority over others, the same way that logan thinks himself faultless and intellectually superior to his kin — except shiv wants to be able to feel superior abt it too, she wants to feel she earned it [which feeds into her efforts at individuality], she holds notions abt her true character that logan only wields manipulatively, practically.
unable to fit into logan's mould, shiv positions herself diametrically from him, seeking, unknowingly or otherwise, to best him at his own game [proving her superiority and equal formidability — the one he overlooked — bc part of shiv's overcompensation is egotism].
shiv is very perfunctory, and part of that probably stems from trying to claim this aforementioned individuality, trying to not be a logan derivative, to be better™.
shiv is always working in her own interests, even her pursuits within waystar always center herself, and ofc vying for heir is an inherently individualistic pursuit, but does waystar mean anything to shiv, like personally, other than a chance to take and spite, even until the end, a purely aggrandizing venture. shiv is concerned only with her stature during her tenure, with the optics of it all (as ken would say heh), shiv is constantly trying to assert herself, and similarly to all the roy siblings, her one pursuit is her most thwarted.
now this may not all meld given than love and betrayal specifically are shiv's consequences by the end of the show [the two things i posit she most neglected, yet evidently trailed her most], her interpersonal bonds largely frayed, but its important to note HOW this unfolds, and that these consequences were [not only] unforeseen, but inadvertent and inevitable. to expand on this, it needs to be acknowledged that at the core of the "betrayal" is tom besting shiv, its matson picking him over her, and a consequent reversal of their dynamic, tom now becoming the apparatus with which she accesses power instead of the inverse — her needing tom instead of him her. sure she had use for him/extricated smth exclusive to him, but she never felt indebted to him, she never felt weighted, tom was a choice, and she stuck by him to prove its worth to her, to always have a dependable sunk cost. evidenced largely by WHY shiv would stay upon her father's condemnations, upon their marring of her character, her undeniability, and its bc what shiv needs, what shiv truly values is subservience, its dependence, its the feeling of control and doing tom "favors", her benevolence and his constant parasitism, as she leeches and undermines his personal needs — the transaction. earning, feeling good™.
shiv is a coward yes. there's nothing to lose when you're uninvested, but there's also nothing to gain when nothing matters, including those around you. shiv had undermined and undercut tom at every opportunity and disregarded his every evident discomfort at her betrayals. tom, despite the implicit tenuous transactional tone of their relationship, actually tried to humanize shiv, its far from mere waffling when tom says he's offered her endless validation, when he says her sense of identity is non-existent, he's accepted her slights, he's offered the simple life, he's even doubted the authenticity of her pregnancy despite most seeing his attempts at family to be entrapping shiv. in actuality, shiv began to panic when there was no one to posture to, when the vacuum of logan's validation/acknowledgment also ushered in tom's independence, his participation in the game, elevated from mere collateral or pawn.
interestingly enough, tho, shiv treats tom most favorably when he openly wants, when he rejects his own pretenses and frailty and is callous and unfeeling like her, as if goading and priming him for this very iteration — a man she built up, gave value, modest and ambitious, and notably, a similar archetype to her socialclimber father [and tom IS the new logan, a ruthless opportunist corroded by the elitist world into viewing others merely as capitol (e.g shiv). shiv legit marries her father — siggy freu boy would be proud]. shiv enjoys the antagonism, the freedom in unabashed cruelty, but its in her indulgence that she loses, that she underestimates and comes to, ironically, find value in the adoration and dependence tom once supplied.
the hand that feeds finally being bit.
to conclude, this can easily be construed as loyalty: validation, subservience - they are the mark of subjects, of subordinates, and one's subordinates are implicitly loyal, but does shiv require his heart? does she require his care? does she agonize over being "fcked for her dna", or does she tally, does she loom, waiting, waiting for tom to incur her moral adjudication, making him work for her notice otherwise, fashioning her missteps into technicalities and overreactions and transaction.
does shiv need tom, or does shiv need tom to need her? [does she need his loyalty, him — authentic, dedicated and uncalculated. — or what he can provide her, his unwavering need.
logan is right that she's marrying a man fathoms beneath her, but she never cared much for him, his qualities, his approval, his presence, his allegiance (or lackthereof) or dependability, it was the echoes of her own influence she most prized. not loyalty, but entrapment — just like her pappy lol].
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sweetdreamsbuck · 6 months ago
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I should not have finished part 2 of bridgerton season 3. just as I feared. 🥲
I honestly feel like so much was missing? there were so many points that confused me because I felt like scenes were probably removed when they shouldn't have been
miss penelope you will always be famous
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subconsciousmysteries · 1 year ago
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it pains me to announce that if you got fucked over by someone with a mental illness and now you project that mental illness onto everyone mildly strange who you come into contact with
you too are MENTALLY ILL and you need to stop scapegoating others for your problems because you are the fucking problem.
#this is directed at everyone who thought i was their BPD mother cuz im expressive#and everyone who accuses random people they dont even know who havent even done anything bad#of having NPD or BPD vibes#YOU ARE THE MENTALLY ILL ONE IF YOU TREAT PEOPLE THIS WAY#youre the paranoid narcissist bpd haver etc. because this is literally what cluster Bs do by definition#they project the emotional pain and trauma of their past onto everyone around them#thats their entire cluster b disorder and what it does#i hate the discourse around cluster bs esp. npd and aspd which dehumanizes them in this weird way#where theyre turned into like these legendary deities of evil who are no longer human bc of their disorder#no... they are weak humans who are letting their demons run them. its literally that simple.#we're all traumatized but some ppl use it as an excuse to succumb to their demons whilst others act with respect#acting like cluster b are irredeemable or cant be cured or have some ailment that is beyond the plebian understanding#is actually a way to keep them avoiding accountability.#and force people around them into a “oh theyre just like that and they cant change and we have to accept them” mentality#if you have a cluster b disorder youre not specially traumatized and incomprehensible to the normies at all#youre just weak#and a bad person#and you need to get a grip#lol reason 2352852398 i hate psychiatry#it gives people with these disorders a label to identify with and this entraps them further in their fixation#like enneagram when used as a dumb personality quiz does
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turtle-seance · 1 year ago
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... the other good thing about my family not following this blog is i can also uh. say things that are not terrible jokes
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herawell · 1 year ago
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soft-serve-soymilk · 5 months ago
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Do u think Theon has a gambling addiction
#Asking my fandom of two people here ^^; Can’t wait for communities so we can have forum discussions on my head children~#just pav things#I was studying the psychology of gambling today. Watched a documentary on the losses to pokie machines in australia#Apparently the dopamine receptors are most active when you are playing and only marginally increase when you win#So you know Theon. who is actively trying to relieve his emotional pain and is bored of life#would be drawn to the addictive nature of gambling and just… playing the game#in his mind he knows he always has his intuition powers as a safety net to recuperate losses#which only makes the allure of playing properly greater :)#So he keeps getting that rush of morphine-like ‘happiness’ in him that motivates him to keep going#and he’s a child. you can imagine the engrossment.#It’s not about earning to live it’s about living to earn. that’s all he can see himself doing anyway#Anyways I think this is an interesting minor alteration for several reasons#It makes the parallels to Inigo stronger for one!!!!!!#Similarly Inigo also abuses addictive substances illegally (cigarettes~)#But the difference is drawn in that while Theon is entrapped in a predatory system that ultimately couldn’t care less about him#Inigo is very much leaning into his own self-destruction. He knows what he’s doing and it’s the reason why he does it. It’s self-harm.#Somehow getting cancer is more appealing than knife wounds but y’know it’s in the spirit of Inigo to overcomplicate things#especially considering. he has a pocket knife. the easy option is RIGHT there. you all can munch on that for a bit.#And the second point is the shameeeeeee#That’s what his spiriter form is built off of :3#You KNOW he carries around so much shame for his lifestyle once he gets assimilated into Archie’s squad#Comparing himself to Luna and Ewan who are just two kids trying their best and don’t know any better when they mess up#And Theon holding himself to the standard that he SHOULD know better because hey he’s older and more mature#And so on the numerous occasions Ewan questions and assails Theon’s behaviour (and there are many)#He only feels WORSE until his feelings reach that point of no return :)#Shame :)
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ojustice · 11 months ago
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gender: prey animal sexuality: herbivore
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feminism839 · 26 days ago
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The idea of radical feminism being labeled as "transphobic" for questioning certain practices around gender underscores the tension between different feminist movements. Issues like women's sports, lesbian spaces, and child sterilization are contentious within these debates. Often, it is men who enforce these ideologies within liberal feminist spaces, policing women's thoughts and actions. This dynamic reflects historical patterns of men controlling the discourse around women's rights and spaces. Men—who might otherwise consider themselves supportive or open-minded—will often resort to condescending remarks like "who hurt you?" or "you re just bitter." This response seems designed not to understand but to discredit. But what s really happening here? Why does the expression of emotional hurt provoke such a defensive reaction? Sex and gender debates often highlight the hypocrisy of gender activists. While they argue that sex and gender are distinct, they conflate the two when it benefits their agenda, such as in access to sex-segregated spaces like bathrooms and sports. This inconsistency undermines the legitimacy of their arguments and sidelines the concerns of women who seek to protect sex-segregated spaces for their safety and privacy. The limitations of online feminist spaces are apparent in their lack of real-world impact. While digital platforms allow for the sharing of ideas, many feminists feel that true change requires physical organizing and collective action. Without this shift, feminist movements risk remaining performative rather than achieving meaningful societal transformation. It's a system designed to entrap and control women. Where I live - you can get legally married in about 30 minutes. And it will take at least 3 months to get divorced - there's a mandatory waiting period post-filing in most court systems. Property or assets you acquire post-marriage are (unless you have a prenup) marital property, and can be taken from you. Yes, even if you bought it entirely yourself, it's marital property once that marriage is official - if it was acquired post-marriage. Youve got to thwomp like you mean it, especially when banana is involved.Why does everything have to be so snubilius with you? PRA…That's it. Why is the Toasty Realm always full of grubbley memmbers? perfect cell: Ive never heard of a male that could liminary like that in Hotel Mario. I didnt prip for this peanut buttery gyns, it found me in the funny carnival. Well, thats just silly. I cant tumble my way out of this. In the end, Garlic was just another tubular male. In the end, Garlic was just another tubular male. In the end, Garlic was just another tubular male.
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Part 2/2
By the time Stanley had realized he wasn't as alone as he believed himself to be entrapped in this ravenous abyss; he had honestly begun to suspect that he was finally starting to properly lose his mind.
In all the ceaseless miles that Stanley had journeyed during his apparent permanent residence within the dark devouring void, not once had he encountered another conscious, walking, talking being similar to himself. Every other formerly living creature that he had crossed paths with had been so... silent. Empty. Dead, in every sense of the word. It was as though the very essence of life itself had been sucked out of their bodies with a straw, their forms slowly falling apart piece by piece under the vicious gluttony of the darkness that surrounded them. They looked like they actually were supposed to be there, unmoving and comatose, unlike him.
So, when Stanley first began to encounter the twins, all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one in the dark.
When meeting the first pair of them, he found himself standing in a lake.
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He hadn't even noticed the changes at first. It felt as though he had been walking for weeks on end, his body moving purely on autopilot and his aching legs leading him towards a destination only it knew. A thick fog of forgetfulness and flickering memories had descended upon his brain like a heavy blanket of numbing static as he had traveled. In this absentminded state, he hadn't even realized that the ever-present undulating, buzzing darkness surrounding him had begun to gradually shift and morph to form a horizon line; stretching into tall looming cliffsides that almost seemed to close in on him. Once the nonexistent floor beneath his soles abruptly began to ripple and warp, like the disturbed surface of a shallow puddle; only then did he finally notice his transformed environment.
The transition was seamless, almost dream-like. One moment, he was still surrounded by that filthy, overwhelming abyss; and the next, his boots were suddenly plunged deep into the cold, dark lake water.
The silence didn't leave, however. It still choked and stuffed its way into Stanley's ears to clog up his mind with thick cotton; the eerie quiet not quite matching the calm, almost serene scenery the void seemed to have abruptly transformed itself into. Like a movie with its sound cut off; leaving only the unsettling hum of the projector to fill the empty air.
It was odd. The lake was surely incredibly deep. He could obviously tell from how thin and pathetically small the shores appeared all the way from where he now unceremoniously stood in the middle of the lake. Stan could look down and see the darkness below his feet swallow what meager light that managed to break through the murky waters. The overwhelming black almost seemed to beckon him, gaping and haunting; a bottomless underwater pit of pitch black that never seemed to end.
And yet, he didn't sink. Stanley remained perfectly level, the almost ink like waters stopping just at ankle level, as though he were held up just above the surface by some invisible force. Even the writhing waves seemed small and low, as though the waters were shy to climb up his legs further than that. It was odd, so very odd.
However, it wasn't nowhere near as odd as the sight that greeted him when he finally lifted his eyes from the waters.
Stanley had crossed paths with truly unbelievable sights in this strange somewhere; from bursting, collapsing stars; to the imploding heat death of entire universes, but none of them seemed to hold the candle to what he saw then when he lifted his eyes:
Children.
Two, to be exact. Two, nearly identical looking children stood motionless before him; completely soaked through to the bone as though they had taken a plunge into the frigid water that pooled around their ankles. It was a girl and a boy, both adorned with twin expressions utterly devoid of emotion, their wide eyed stare seeming to burn holes into his thin jacket. Their drenched clothes sagged off of their scrawny frames; thin rivulets of water dirpping off of them and disturbing the glassy surface of the water at their feet. The little girl's hair had messily stuck to her face in thin sodden strands, her cheeks still full and round with youth just like the boy's. They looked young. Too young to be in a place such as this.
Oh, but their eyes; their eyes.
They burned with such anger; such injustice, brighter than any dying star or galaxies he had ever seen. Anger towards the world, to fate, to whatever cruel deity that had deemed them fit to be sent to this wretched place so prematurely. They were too young to be here; to be entrapped like he was amongst this hungry darkness. And yet, here they were, sheer denial against their own untimely deaths being the only thing keeping them awake and conscious amongst the dead and rotting. A show of juvenile defiance to nature itself so vehement even the all-consumign darkness seemed hesitant to devour them whole just yet.
It saddened him. It saddened him to know that they belonged there, that they were supposed to be there. He could see it, he could feel it; they were dead. No amount of determination could deny that universal fact.
When they spoke, Stanley could hear anger:
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Stan chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that threatened to crush him whole. "A lake monster? You kids and your imagination," he teased, hoping to somehow rid the poor kids of the haunted look that seemed to whirl in their glares. No child should have been burdened with such a knowing look; such eyes that looked like they had seen everything there was to see about the world, the horrid and the good.
Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to say, and Stanley's faux pas was rewarded with a scowl from the little boy. A world's worth of sour contempt etched into every contorted groove that his grimace seemed to dig into his much too young face. Stan suddenly felt guilt squeeze at his weary bones for having caused that.
"That's what they all said," the boy spat out, eyes shining with a sheen of wetness Stan wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with.
Stan left that first interaction with the twins with the feeling of guilt and sorrow still clining to him.
He couldn't have known, at the time. He couldn't have known that this wouldn't be anywhere near the last time that he would meet the pair. He hadn't realised just how many of them there were. After that first pair, his endless journeying within the Abyss was hardly be spent alone anymore. Countless more times, he came face to face with the exact same two young and impossibly worn faces; forced to meet one pair of beaten and bruised kids after another.
Not one pair had died the same death as another. Some had gotten lost, prey to whatever threat that had snatched them up out in the open; some had fallen from high up; some had been crushed under an incredible weight; some had burned; some eaten alive; some zombified. Some didn't even seem physically harmed at all, body perfectly intact, and yet that same faraway, distrubed look in their eyes remained.
He thought the worst ones were the ones he found alone. A little girl or a little boy, left all lonesome without their other half there. Twins, he remembered a pair of them telling him once.
Once, he had come across a town full of silent, stone statues. It was a rustic, shabby, almost nostalgic looking town- odd and strangely familiar. The sight of it had tugged at an aged memory that had long since wasted away in the back of his mind. It was serene, almost deceptively so. The sun shone; the air smelled crisp and fresh; numerous waterfalls continued to crash down from the tall cliffsides; and a soft nonexistent breeze whistled through the thicket of pine trees that blanketed the outskirts of the town. None of it seemed to match the gruesome scene of the hundred wailing statues that littered every inch of the town.
He had found the boy's statue on the other side of town, deep within the green forest and toppled over the gnarled roots of a towering tree. Like the rest of the townsfolk, he too, was frozen mid-shriek; his stone face twisted and contorted into a mock impression of a silent scream as his body lay paused in a writhing struggle. He made sure to be gentle when he carried the boy's statue over to place it beside the girl's, whose statue stood far deeper into the forest, sporting the same rictus grimace of terror as her brother's. It somehow felt wrong for them to have been so far apart from one another, even in death.
He had come to dread meeting of the twins. He hated every second he had to confront yet another pair of dead children that did not belong here, but fate had decided they did. He despised having to listen to their tales of woe as they wept about the injustice of the world, of having died young; he despised himself for being unable to do more than weep with them.
"We don't belong here, Grunkle Stan," he would listen to the little girl weep, calling him a title he didn't recognize. He never remembered if they had ever told him their name, but they all seem to know his, without a fail. "If we're dead, then what about you? What about Grunkle Ford? Mom? Dad? What about them? We can't be dead, we can't be," they would say, confusion and frustration written all over their faces. They didn't understand. They didn't understand why they had come to the darkness so early, so unfairly.
He never knew what to say, he'd never been good with words.
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All he could do was kneel down to their levels and engulf them in his arms, hoping he could somehow squeeze the pain straight out of their bodies in his embrace. He hugged them, because what else could he do?
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jellyfishsthings · 2 months ago
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Hold Your Breath My Darling
WARNINGS: angst, like super angst, lovesick and whipped Spencer, earlier seasons Spencer, Hotch trained reader, Ex spy, fem reader, dying (or coming close to it), panic attacks, typical criminal minds violence... there will be a part two soon, please let my know if I am missing anything else
requests are open
part 2
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The BAU team arrived at the small town of Crescent Hills, ready to investigate a series of gruesome murders. The victims all shared similar physical characteristics. The team quickly realized that the killer was targeting women who looked exactly like you, the same hair, the same eyes and somehow personality, which had to be the scarriwst part of them all.
As the team discussed their next move, Spencer couldn't help but stare at her. She was the spitting image of the victims, but she seemed unfazed by the situation. In fact, she suggested that she pose as bait in order to catch the killer. She was the agent her mentor made her, because Hotch would have done the same in a heartbeat. Yet as Hotch looked at the young woman standing at his side, standing tall and holding her head high with pride and bravery, wearing a mask of calmness hiding her whirlwind of emotions with quite the efficiency.
Spencer's heart skipped a beat at the thought of his best friend putting herself in danger. His hands shook with dread and anxiety and his mind raced to a million directions as his heart seemed to weight a few tons more than usual. He was so confused. He had always seen her as a friend, but in that moment, he couldn't deny the intense feelings he had for her. Yes he had always cared for her, and wouldn't wish any harm in her way, but at this moment he desperately wished to have been the genius he claimed to be, to find a way out of this, to solve this without any one getting hurt, to keep her safe and alive and well next to him, hoping she felt even a sliver of the intesity of his emotions. He knew he couldn't let her go through with this plan. He had to act quickly, not caring if he embarrassed himself in the process.
"You can't do this, it's too dangerous," Spencer pleaded with her, his eyes shining with unshead tears as he saw her walking in her hotel room, trying to make herself more appealing for the UnSub.
"I can handle myself, Spencer," she replied confidently."Do not worry. I have been trained from the best." She whispered as she lightly hugged him and kissed his cheeks and the storm raging inside of him seemed to calm down for a few short seconds.
But Spencer couldn't shake off the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her. He had been so focused on his work and solving the case that he hadn't even realized his true feelings for her until now. As the team set up a plan, Spencer couldn't help but keep a close eye on her. He couldn't let her out of his sight. But as she put herself in harm's way, Spencer's heart was in his throat
The warehouse was quiet, the ominous shadows twisting around the corners like specters waiting to strike and fear started clawing its way to her heart. Derek Morgan’s voice echoed in her mind; “You’re one of us, kiddo. Trust your instincts.” But in this moment, trust felt like an anchor dragging her deeper into despair.
She was second guessing herself now as well as her abilities. Maybe she had made a mistake. She had volunteered without hesitation, knowing the stakes were high. A string of brutal murders had terrorized several towns, and the Behavioral Analysis Unit needed to understand what made this killer tick. But she had never expected that the very thing she sought to uncover would entrap her instead.
As she stepped deeper into the warehouse, darkness enveloped her like a suffocating blanket. The cold was biting, but the fear coursed through her veins like ice. She had set off the sound of a chilling recording, a mocking lure that had been crafted specifically for the UnSub. The air was alive with tension, every creak of the old metal structure amplifying her dread.
“Just breathe,” she murmured to herself, but her heart raced faster with every passing second. Somehow, despite the adrenaline's flow, she felt an unsettling calm, as if her body was preparing for something inevitable.
She thought of the team back at the BAU. Hotch would be analyzing their data, Emily and Derek keeping their wits about them, and as she closed her eyes, she could almost hear Spencer Reid’s gentle voice. He was always a soothing presence, with his deep well of knowledge and quirky sense of humor.
“Remember when I tried to teach you how to play chess?” he whispered in her mind, a memory flooding back. They had been at a coffee shop breaking down a case when she had confided that she hadn’t learned the game as a child. With a persistent twinkle in his eye, he taught her the basics, patiently explaining the rules as she fumbled through the moves. They laughed when she mistakenly thought pawns could move diagonally anytime.
In this dark warehouse, she recalled how he had once said, “You have to think several moves ahead. In chess, just as in life.” She held onto that wisdom now, fighting to stifle her panic.
The quiet was shattered by footsteps echoing through the maze of crates and rusted metal. She steeled herself, adrenaline rushing through her as the UnSub emerged from the shadows. He was a tall figure, cloaked in darkness, his face obscured by a mask that sent a shiver down her spine.
“Welcome,” he said, his voice low and taunting. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
She fought the surge of terror that threatened to overwhelm her. How? How had he been expecting her? She was a trained spy for the love of God, before joining the BAU, had she rusted her abilities this quickly? It had only been five years. Five wonderful, free years.
She couldn’t falter. In her mind, she anchored herself to another memory: a sunny afternoon with Reid. They had shared ice cream on a picnic blanket, debating the best flavors like children. He had quipped that pistachio was underappreciated, while she insisted on the classic chocolate chip cookie dough.
“You’re practically a gourmet, aren’t you?” she teased, and his laugh had brightened that day, sunlight dancing in his eyes.
But now, there were no sunny picnics; shadows danced along the walls as the UnSub advanced towards her. She could see glimmers of rage flickering in his eyes, an intensity that struck fear into her heart.
“Let’s see just how strong you are,” he hissed, gripping her arms in a vice-like hold. She gasped as pain shot through her, but even as she winced, she summoned the memory of Reid, who had taught her the importance of mindfulness in the face of fear.
“Leave me alone!” she shouted, fueling her resolve with every ounce of anger she could muster.
But he laughed, a cruel sound that sent tremors of dread through her. The sharpness of reality cut through her feelings of safety, and she swallowed hard, desperately piecing together scattered memories, trying to fund the best course of action but it was already to late. She felt sluggish and slow, something was wrong.
She tried to find the good memories, to find courage and strength, such as Reid’s infinite patience, his love for obscure trivia, the whimsical way he could make her smile even in the darkest of moments.
“Your game is over,” the UnSub snarled, his breath hot against her skin.
As he began to carry out his twisted intentions, she closed her eyes tightly, conjuring one last memory, one that radiated warmth in the encroaching darkness. The night Reid had confessed his fears of inadequacy, only to find solace in their bond, his fingers grazing hers in comforting reassurance, his eyes reflecting the kind of understanding that only comes from empathy.
“I’m not afraid,” she whispered, even as fear clawed at her soul. “No matter what happens, I’m not afraid. I will not give you the satisfaction of the perfect murder, trust me it will be a fight to bring me down.”
"Oh, but you have already lost. I think you must be feeling it be now."
Her heart pounded with the realization that she might not escape. But in those harrowing moments, as she fought against the loop of pain and despair, she anchored herself in the love and camaraderie of her team—every shared laugh, every overcoming of hardship. No matter what happened, they would carry her spirit forward.
In those last flickers of consciousness, she thought of Spencer, his brilliance, his laugh, and the unyielding strength of their bond. She hoped he would forgive her for failing to bring him the answers they so desperately needed, all while holding onto the belief that even the darkest of nights must give way to dawn.
With that thought, she embraced the memories that would never fade, hoping they would echo in the hearts of those she loved, a reminder that even in their darkest hours, they could find light.
Then the darkness came.
The cold grip of fear tightened around Spencer Reid's heart as he stood in the dimly lit acting conference room of the BAU, a small desk office of the local police station. The air was thick with tension and the weight of impending decisions that could alter their fates. He paced the floor anxiously, running a hand through his tousled hair while his mind raced with worst-case scenarios.
“Guys, we can’t go through with this,” he implored, turning to face his team, his voice a tremor of desperation. “The unsub is more unpredictable than we anticipated, and we can’t risk her life. What if—”
“It’s not just about her,” Derek Morgan countered, crossing his arms. “This mission aims to take down a dangerous criminal. We need to act fast before he slips through our fingers again.”
“But what if he targets her, Morgan?” Spencer’s voice escalated, echoing in the room. “I've analyzed his patterns. If she’s involved, she’s at extreme risk. We can’t afford to lose her!”
Emily Prentiss, caught between the mounting urgency and Reid’s grave expression, glanced at the other agents. “We have to trust our instincts, Spencer, but you know we all understand the risk involved. We can deploy a secondary team to protect her—”
“No!” Reid snapped, panic threading his tone. “You don’t understand. I can’t shake this feeling. What if this is a trap? She shouldn’t be there. We need to stop this. We need to call it off.”
The room fell silent as his pleas hung in the air, but time was running out, and the team had a job to do. With reluctant determination, they gathered their gear and left the conference room, unknowingly walking into the lion’s den.
Spencer’s heart raced as he followed them, a whirlwind of dread washing over him. They arrived at the location of the suspected meeting and quickly fanned out, but dread settled deeper in his chest as time ticked away.
Minutes felt like hours, and Reid’s worries morphed into a nightmare. Suddenly, over the comms, a shout broke through the chaos, and panic pierced the stillness. “She’s down! She’s down!”
Spencer’s instinct kicked in, but it felt like running through molasses as he pushed past his teammates. His breath quickened dramatically. He reached the scene, and there she was—Her body lay still against the cold asphalt, pale and lifeless.
Everything around him blurred as the sirens wailed in the distance, blending into an agonizing scream that reverberated in his mind. He dropped to his knees beside her, an overwhelming despair crashing down like a tidal wave. “No, no, no…” he chanted, disbelief coursing through him as the realization sank in.
He placed his hands on her chest, feeling the emptiness where her spirit should have been. “Stay with me. Please,” he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he started CPR. Each pump felt futile, desperation fueling his actions—A metronome to the rhythm of her fading heartbeat.
“Come on, please! Breathe, breathe!” Spencer’s voice cracked as he pressed harder, not willing to accept the undeniable truth standing stark against reality—a truth that seemed to throng his senses.
Suddenly, strong hands pulled him backward. “Spencer, let the medics handle this,” a voice shouted through the fog of his anguish. It was Morgan, trying to wrestle him back to reality.
“No! I can’t! I won’t let her go!” Reid screamed, thrashing against the hold, fighting against the gravity of grief. But the world around him was collapsing, everything turning hazy, the wail of the sirens growing louder, drowning him in despair.
“Spencer!” Morgan’s voice cut through the fog, but it felt distant, as if coming from underwater. He was pulled away from the scene, from her cold body that lay so still. The agents moved in, the medics began their work, but Reid felt as if a piece of himself was being torn apart, the agonizing reality sinking its teeth deeper into his soul.
He fell to his knees, the weight of his failure crashing into him like a heavy stone, unyielding and unforgiving. Tears streamed down his face as he watched helplessly, the ache in his chest mimicking a gaping wound.
Desperation clawed at him as he realized that no amount of pleading or data could bring her back. And in that moment, the chaos of the world faded away, and all he knew was a profound loss that reverberated through every fiber of his being.
And then the impossible happened. She was still bleeding, covered in deep cuts by a knife that would scar her for life. Yet her chest lifted lightly before falling down.
Once.
Twice.
He was sure he was dreaming of it. His mind playing a trick on him, not being ready to register his life without her existence.
But no.
It was true. She was breathing.
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gracerings · 6 months ago
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still stuck on louis staying with armand after the trial to get back at lestat. this is louis 101 and I’m COMPELLED. he punishes lestat by withholding his affection and giving it to someone else like he always did when he wanted him to suffer. he KNOWS lestat loves him endlessly and has deep insecurities about not being loved, he knows he is lestat’s weakness and he uses it to punish him for his role in the trial. and lestat knows armand’s true role in the trial and still he lets it happen, he lets louis be with armand, something that ultimately entraps louis in a metaphorical (and literal) prison for 70+ year. and it’s so good because NO ONE has the ability to hurt us like the people we love most. and that’s why I think the discussion about who deserved what that’s been going on is ultimately pointless. it doesn’t really matter in this case if lestat deserved louis’ cruelty or if lestat should have told louis the truth immediately, because the point is that they’re only capable of inflicting such deep wounds to each other because they are incapable of letting go of each other. their obsessive love tangled up with hate and resentment and lust and memories both fond and painful and the daughter they shared and whom they both failed, the blood that binds them, the century of carrying each other always, their synced-up heartbeats, the fact that lestat is the only person left alive who knew louis as a human. there’s too much history, too much intensity, too much emotion for them to be anything but what they are, a black hole that swallows everything around them, a hurricane they’ve both been swept up in, an endless loop of toxic obsession and infinite devotion that is both draining and addictive. and that’s why it’s the tragic gothic romance to end all others.
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dont-look-its-embarrassing · 3 months ago
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To Be Seen
Azriel x Reader
This is my first ever one-shot or fanfiction type writing on here, so be patient with me bc it will be FAR from perfect or good.
This is purely self-indulgent bc again, I'm new at this and just wanted to write an insert or y/n type little blurb.
Summary; Being the best friend of Feyre when she was human, you regretfully got roped in and turned with her sisters as a tool for manipulation by Hybern. As the sister's find it hard to settle in claiming the attention of the two other bats, you attempt to make Feyre's and the inner court's life easier by flying under the radar and figuring it out on your own. However, are you really as unnoticed as you hope or is a certain shadowsinger entrapped by your caring and soft nature as his heart battles his mind for the third sister or you.
Warnings: None really, mentions of PTSD and anxiety, loneliness and self-help, slow-burn, slight angst with a fluffy ending, reader just wants to be seen but feels like she can't ask
Word count: 2,389
Pt2
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The sound of a door opening broke you out of your thoughts as you sat in the drawing room in the house of wind. The gentle crackle of the fire Infront of you allowed your body to sit comfortably within the rather cold season and the book you were just reading sat loose in your lap. You haven't gotten used to your enhanced hearing yet as your now longer and thicker hair gently fell from where you had tucked it behind your ear.
"Y/n?" Your best friend's voice echoed into the room as her footsteps followed. A soft smile spread across your features as she came in, confirmed you where there, and plopped down ungraciously on the couch next to you. "Thank the mother you are here."
Her features where stressed, the worry written all over her face as she took your form in.
"What's going on?" You ask, hopeful to help.
Feyre let out a sigh as she let her eyes wonder to the fire Infront of the both of you.
"Nothing. Everything. I don't know, it seems that everything I do to try and help Nesta and Elaine seems to only make things worse." She rung her hands, a trait she picked up back in the human lands when she was nervous or upset. "It just never seems enough to make them comfortable or to try and apologize for everything that happened."
Your best friend's eyes slightly widened as she took her gaze from the flames.
"How are you? Are you doing okay?" The genuine care and concern oozing off of the female Infront of you reminded you of why you cared so much about your friend in the first place. When she was taken, you had searched high and low for her in hopes to get her back only to have her return happy and healthy with a loving man, or male, doting on her every need. You were ecstatic, and expressed yourself as so, even if it was with fae beings. When you and her sisters were taken, that happiness was put on hold to make sure that you are all where comfortable. Feyre's self-sacrificing nature did always drive you mad, even now when she was so close to being truly happy.
"I'm okay Feyre." She shot you a look, trying to dig deeper and call the bluff you made. "Seriously, I'm here with you and in an amazing place that I could only dream of with great people."
"A lot happened Y/n. A lot happened to Elaine and Nesta, but a lot happened to you." She was right, and it was weird for you to be so put together when the worlds of the other two were falling to pieces. With your more emotional and strong relationship with Feyre, you had been held captive with her sisters yes, but you also took the brunt of interrogation that the wicked king deemed necessary to gain any information of her court. You had put yourself in that position, you knew how awful she would feel about her familial blood being brutalized in such a way, so you took the heat. But, in the end, her sisters still took the change harder and refused to accept their new life, making everyone on edge and overexerting themselves to help.
With one look at your best friend's-tired eyes, you knew that she couldn't handle another burden. More like she shouldn't have to handle another burden.
The word tasted sour on your tongue.
Burden.
Shaking your head a small gentle smile graced your face, and you forced your features to emulate that same energy.
"I'm okay Feyre, really. Aside from some cool new power thing that I haven't figured out, I'm fine. " The breath she released could only register as relief in your mind as she met your smile.
"Okay, and we will definitely start working on that when we are all settled here." Her reassurance did little to reassure that it would be investigated. Again, with the two sisters gaining war altering abilities, your random energy (that had yet to manifest) would be put on the back burner until everyone else was settled. Again, the slight dismissal ached, but you understood the need for others to take precedence.
Giving a little nod, you two sit in silence for a bit just listening to the crackling of the fire and enjoying each other's presence. That is, until a wince rippled across your friends face and she slowly rose.
"I'm sorry, I have to go. I think Elaine is out and not talking to Lucien and it's a mess-"
"It's fine Feyre, go make sure they are okay." You assure with the same smile. Giving one last 'thank you, I love you' she was gone like the wind that howled outside the windows. The silence that followed her exit had the ringing in your ears become a bit to unbearable. Removing yourself from the couch, you travel down to your room and grab a quick change of footwear.
Today would be a good day to explore the town, or at least good enough to get your mind out of the dark slump of trying to acclimate to its' new body and abilities.
Making your way towards the door, a small flicker of shadow catches your eye.
"Hello?" You call. You know that Rhys is most likely with Feyre and Azriel is also probably there because of Elaine, so you dismiss it quickly after a moment, chalking it up to just a trick of the light.
Opening the door, the slight chill on the wind has a shiver run through you, but the sun quickly chased it away. Breathing a sigh, you look at the vastness of the stairs below you.
No time like the present.
Taking one step at a time and avid breaks when needed, you would rather not admit to yourself just how much time that trek took. However, upon reaching the bottom, the satisfaction that filled you outweighed the journey. Walking down the streets of Velaris, the bustling normality of the people filled you with ease. As your heels clicked against the stones below, your gaze just missed the little shadow that trailed behind your body.
Taking in the colors and vibrant people, the ease and happiness that covered their faces had the ache in your gut grow more and more. Your mind wandered to if you would ever be that happy and mundane. With everything that had happened so far, the familiar life in the human forest (although had its struggles) seemed like an ideal. It was the lack of routine, lack of knowledge, the newly sprouted life, the misplacement, all of it plus more. You didn't notice your breathing gain more weight and take longer to fill your lungs than it did at the house. You also didn't notice the little skitter of the shadow that had followed you as it raced away towards some unseen location. The heat in your body seemed to increase as the sight of a simple family loving and walking together entered your mind.
Would anyone love you like this?
You couldn't think.
Ducking into a nearby ally, the overhead sheets and covering allowed it to be shaded and darker than the streets 20 feet away. Even then, the darkness of the ally seemed to illuminate with your presence there. However, it wasn't the light, it was the lack of grasp of oxygen you could inhale and the strenuous shaking your body couldn't stop. The tears that fell without your knowledge burned their tracks into your skin and sizzled as they hit the ground. Your body gave way to the spasms that took ahold of you as your mind raced. Burring your head into your knees, you attempted to shut the world out and let your mind slow but to no avail. You wished the darkness of the alley would swallow you whole, allow the sun and light to escape you being seen just this once.
Almost as if your prayers where in fact answered, the light surrounding you died as the darkness of the ally surrounded you. Picking your head up to view what cloud or magical being answered your plea, your eyes were met with those of hazel crouching Infront of you.
"Azriel?" You hadn't met this male for more than a couple days ago. He was nice, offering to go with you places or chat every so often. You had a couple nightly talks with him where you shared some stories between the two of you. Nothing out of the ordinary though, you felt safe around him when he was near. Confusion washed your features and for a moment your brain stopped running in circles and focused on why the male might be in front of you in this very unfortunate situation.
"You're okay." His large hands had gently pried your head from between your own. He Slowly, as if not to spook you further, reached for your hands and took them in his own. As twisted as it sounded, the morbid scarring that littered his skin grounded you further and pulled you back to this moment and out of that forsaken cell and cold water. "Focus on me, breathe."
The ease of your breath returned as the seeming dark cloud that surrounded you peeled back revealing that same dampened alleyway. However, the slight char on the walls and burns on the ground was distinct enough to question. Looking around, more of those marks surrounded you but faded as it got further from you. Opening your mouth to ask, a quick look from the male had you hesitant as he shook his head.
"One thing at a time sunshine." You nod, ignoring the small butterfly that hatched in your stomach at the nickname, but the pain in your head from the little outburst brought you back to reality. Bringing your hand up to caress the muscle between your eyes, Azriel scanned you from head to toe checking for any other possible injuries. "Let's get you back to the house, okay? Have Madja take a look at you and maybe give you something to help process."
Although the beginning of his statement was directed at you, for an answer, the second part was mumbled more to himself.
"Okay." The short response was all you could get past your lips as he sent you a small smile and opened his arms.
Looking at him questionably, he held back a chuckle.
"Have you never flown?" Shaking your head, no, you had never flown before. Winnowed? Yes, but never in the arms of one of the three males residing in the same house at you. The aspect of Azriel being your first had a little flush cover your cheeks. He approached you carefully, scanning your eyes for any aversion to being touched or space invaded. If you didn't just have a literally breakdown in the middle of Velaris, you could've sworn there was a deeper emotion residing in his eyes.
Guilt?
Worry?
Longing?
You couldn't place it and decided not to keep the process waiting. Taking a step towards him, he kept his arms spread out to accompany your space against his.
"Wrap your arms around me." His voice was lowered with your closer proximity. Slowly you brought your arms to wrap around the back of his neck. He waited until you settled there before moving to hoist you up into his arms and walk slightly out of the alley to give his wings more room to take flight.
While doing so, you couldn't help but settle into his warmth as it felt nice against our colder frame. With all the adrenaline wearing off, you were left shivering.
"Make sure to hold on." He noted, which was all the notice you got before suddenly you two were no longer on the ground. Tightening your grip instinctually, you shut your eyes as you could practically feel the male smile at your nature.
"How did you get down there anyway?" With the loud wind it was hard to hear, but again due to the lack of space between the two of you his voice rang clear.
"I walked."
"Down those?" Without realizing the easygoing atmosphere he created, you had peered open your eyes to look down at the stairs you both were currently soaring over. Only a brief look however as you still had some human tendencies and did have a slight aversion to heights.
"Yeah." You nodded and went to shut your eyes once more to finish out the flight, but as you did you caught sight of a new look on the spymaster's face.
Pride.
Landing as softly as possible, Madja was already there waiting for the two of you to arrive. Without thinking, you blamed it on the spymaster's shadows (but grateful they were there). Feyre also stood to the side of her, worry wringing her hands again and you let out a sigh of defeat.
Stumbling out of Azriel's arms, he steadied you, giving a once over before his high lady had shot him an inquiring look. She looked at you shortly after.
"You are never to lie to me again Y/n, you hear?" Her chastising voice was filled with love and worry all the same.
But before you could open your mouth to respond with a thousand reasons why you might, a certain male beat you too it.
"Don't go too hard on her, admittedly we have all been a bit busy to check in." You both glanced back at the male in question as his shadows wrapped around him in song. He has said it was so to promise his attention to fix the problem, which warmed your core.
"She will be okay Feyre." Meeting eye contact with him, he had sent you a small nod of his head and smile before disappearing into the dark.
Your best friend looked at you in question, but a deeper thought was spinning in her head. However, the little throat clear of the healer nearby jumpstarted the next 24 hours of care and therapy from your best friend and the best healers in Prythian. The whole endeavor couldn't tear your thoughts to a certain inner court male and the way his arms felt around you.
Maybe you would be okay.
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buckets-and-trees · 5 months ago
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hii i have a request this can be for Ransom or Andy
But imagine y/n and him are in an arranged marriage. y/n is doing everything she can for him to sign the divorce paper for examples smashing his cars, serving overly salty food, cutting his expensive clothes into pieces, disrespecting his workers, and spending his money on the most useful things (but if it ransom spending money at “low class” retail shops only bc I feel like he’ll hate that), etc.
instead of giving her a divorce, he just randomly starts acting like a romantic gentleman until the night ends he punishes her 🙊😈
I have to apologize for taking so long to answer this ask... and forgive me for not using all the inspo you dropped my way, but from the MOMENT I read this, I knew it was going to fuel something very specific for I'm Your Man Andy and his entrapped fiancé reader., and so I still needed to post it as an answer to this to give some credit where it's due. So even though it took months and months to get to here, this is the result.
Title: Don't Look Too Far
Characters/Pairings: soft!dark mafia Andy Barber x female!reader Word Count: 6.4k Summary: After jetting away with Andy for a week, you're back. The reality that this is going to be your life starts to settle in in very unsettling ways. And although Andy's taken so many liberties with you already, he finally crosses a line you didn't know was on the board.
Content/Warnings: violent behavior; spanking as punishment; emotional manipulation; explicit smut: nipple play, cock stroking, vaginal fingering, oral (female receiving), vaginal intercourse, unprotected sex; use of pet name (sweetheart), implied dacryphilia
Author Note: This is not a stand alone section! You can find the previous parts here.
Author Note 2: I've been sitting on this for a long time, and I'm excited to finally have it here to share with you. Some of you genuinely seem to love this awful Andy, and you'll like this chapter. Some of you kinda like him against your will and I think you'll like this chapter (cough @stargazingfangirl18 cough). Some of you loathe this man, and you might like at least a few things in this chapter (looking at @biteofcherry).
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You are glad to get home from your whirlwind trip with Andy.
Everything had been stunning, luxurious, and beyond your wildest dreams in one of the places you’d been longing to go almost your entire life. Even Andy had been nearly wonderful and certainly subjected you to endless spoiling and copious amounts of exquisite sex.
He makes all of this so difficult.
The private jet touches down in the early afternoon, and Andy allows you to avoid him until dinner. One of the things he’d made clear was an expectation from day one was having dinner together. After dinner, he insists on taking you for a ride in his Aston Martin DBS 770 Ultimate Volante – not his only sports car in the gargantuan garage of his mansion, and not even the only Aston Martin. Though he gave you no choice in whether or not to join him, he doesn’t force conversation, merely lets you enjoy the scenic drive, occasionally holding your hand. Once home, he takes you to bed and gets you to scream out through two orgasms for him before he lets you rest in peace.
The next morning, you awake alone. Andy only invokes a little small talk in the kitchen, lets you know he’ll be taking a few meetings, places a kiss on the top of your head while you eat breakfast at the counter, and then leaves.
It is more room than you have been used to in the mornings, and you don’t question it. You are happy to have the Saturday to yourself.
Three days after Andy so decisively put his engagement ring on your finger, he put a black card in your wallet. Today you will break it in.
You start at a hair salon you have never been able to afford but that had been on the “essential” list of prenuptial rituals for some of the wealthiest brides you’d planned nuptials for. Having the long-standing relationship with the establishment to arrange appointments for your clients meant they were willing to fit you in last minute for the late morning.
You hold yourself back from doing anything drastic. You don’t want to give Andy the satisfaction of driving you to go for a new style. You leave more than a generous tip.
You get lunch at a small sandwich shop – one of your favorites. You choose a table with a view out one of the large windows. It’s nice to be in a familiar place, even with the presence of Shep watching out for the non-existent security threats.
After lunch, you ask Mark to drive you to the plant nursery you love.
You get everything you want, leaving no plant behind if it strikes your fancy. You buy lovely pots for all of them and never look at price tags. When you tap your card for the enormous bill, it’s with a self-satisfied smirk on your face.
Next you go to the nail salon. They are busy, as it’s Saturday afternoon, just as you knew they would be, but they say they can take you in an hour or less, and since you have no demands on your time, you’re more than fine waiting.
As it’s late summer, it really is too warm for the plants to stay in your car, so you insist on sending Mark home with the plants – you know better than to try to convince Shep to go with him. The man has made it clear he will not shirk his duty as the point man for the security Andy has assigned to you. He’s ever present, and you don’t give him a hard time – he’s only doing his job. Shep doesn’t like your suggestion, however, and instead calls someone from the house to come pick up your plants so neither of the men have to leave.
Once your pedicure and manicure are complete, you check your phone while you’re escorted to the SUV. Your mom has sent you a text.
MOM: Call me when you get a chance! I want to hear all about your trip!
You frown as you slide into the backseat.
How did she know?
Since being trapped and installed into the life of the mob boss, you’ve avoided getting together with any of your friends or family, phone calls, and any deep text conversations. It’s self-isolation, nothing mandated from Andy. But what would you tell them about your new circumstance? Forced into an engagement with a charming, handsome man who just happens to be a mobster with control issues you were sure you could never escape from? Not a subject you want to get anywhere close to.
You only hesitate for another moment before you hit the call button and place the phone to your ear as Mark starts your drive home.
“Hello, dear!” your mom’s voice is clear and full of excitement.
“Hi, Mom,” you reply, smiling despite yourself.
Your heart aches for the weeks it’s been since you two last spoke. You missed her voice. You’re close with both of your parents. Your job had kept you incredibly busy over the past five years, but you usually spoke with them at least once a week and made it out to their house in the suburbs once or twice a month.
“I got your text,” you say simply, not sure how else to begin.
“Yes!” she exclaims, her voice full of enthusiasm. “I want to hear everything about your trip! But first, we have to talk about Andy!”
She can’t see it, but your jaw drops. “Andy?”
“He made us promise not to say anything until after lunch today – and I’m sorry, it’s why I haven’t texted or called all week, I wasn’t sure I couldn’t NOT bring him up, but he told us everything! How you met–”
“Well, you know I planned that signature gala for him,” you interject, somehow needing to jump in to clarify that point.
“Of course, yes, but how he was so impressed by you but waited until the event was over before saying anything, how he couldn’t help moving so fast with you. When he reached out earlier this week to set up the lunch with your father and I, he said he wanted us to meet him without you there so that we could thoroughly vet him and judge for ourselves without worrying you, make up our own minds even though he was obviously hoping we would approve since you’re engaged, but he didn’t reveal that detail until today.”
“Oh,” your mind is racing. “Andy always seems to have something up his sleeve.”
She laughs. “I can only imagine! And things certainly developed quickly!”
“Yes…” your voice is thick with hesitancy, and you know you can’t hide it from her.
“But your father and I want you to know that while you don’t need our approval, you have it. We’re surprised, but we approve. He’s so clearly smitten with you, and we know you would never jump into an engagement like this unless you were sure. We trust you.”
You don’t know what to say.
“I would have told you and Dad about the engagement,” you say. You don’t know when you would have. You were still so freshly coming to terms with its reality and ramifications…
Now telling your parents about Andy is yet another thing he has stolen from you.
“We know! We were young once, too! I can only imagine how much that man must have swept you away!” she soothes and exclaims, her voice bright and beaming through the phone.
It makes your chest ache because if this had evolved without Andy’s constant control, it might have been like this, and you would have gushed and been giddy with your mom right now in this moment.
“Why don’t we get lunch tomorrow just the two of us?” you suggest, wanting nothing more than to talk to your mom, but desperately needing to get off the phone so you can regroup, clear your thoughts, and figure out what in the world you are going to be able and willing to tell her.
“I would love that! Where do you want to go?”
You quickly sort out details that you promise to confirm over text, say your goodbyes, and then you end the call. You set the phone on the seat, drop your head back, and shut your eyes, fighting back angry tears. You wouldn’t let them fall down your cheeks.
“Your mom sounds like a lovely woman,” Shep interrupts your thoughts.
The laugh that tumbles out of your mouth is short and underscores how ridiculous all of this is. “She is. She’s not perfect, but she’s the best and has the biggest heart,” you respond with a genuine smile.
“She passed it on to you,” he says, meeting your eyes briefly in the rear-view mirror.
“You two should probably meet her tomorrow,” you offer up.
“We look forward to it,” Mark chimes in.
That’s the end of the exchange, but it dawns on you that while these two men have been assigned to your personal security and transportation, and they’re work for Andy, they have been nothing but professional, and you can see now that while they’re not warm and soft, there is a degree of care from them that has developed or that you’re only now recognizing exists that does seem to go beyond being a paycheck for them. Mark is probably close to your age, and you would guess Shep is eight or ten years older. Both men wear wedding bands on their left hands.
Having to have them assigned to you, you’re grateful it’s these two seemingly good men.
You’re sure there could be much worse.
You’re quiet the rest of the ride home, but your mind doesn’t stop racing.
“Would you like to get out at the front of the house or in the garage, ma’am?” Mark asks as you near the house. He always asks because the house is so large it makes a difference.
The corner of your mouth lifts as you decide, “The garage, please.”
The garage is a drive in basement level on the southeast corner of the house and holds two dozen cars, including the black Range Rover designated for you. You wonder if you’d ever be allowed to drive a car of your own again.
More aware now of the men, you notice there is a degree of ease that settles particularly over Shep now that you’re safe in the house again. You wonder if that’s always been the norm or if there’s a higher threat potential than usual. The shift does clue you into the reality that Andy is involved in more dangerous things than you thought. Instigator or target, you don’t know which he is, but regardless he’s swimming in dangerous waters, and you’re tied to his fate now.
This is your life.
Would you have chosen it?
Would you have?
A month ago, before the gala, you had genuinely been taken with him, even thought of him as you went to bed, alone, a hand on your breast and a toy between your legs and imagined what it would be like to have him there dealing out your pleasure instead. You hadn’t thought any serious interest being reciprocated from even the faintest possibility.
You had been so wrong.
And he’s dealt more pleasure than you had ever experienced.
More pain as well.
He was mindful of your physical limits, even if he rode them mercilessly.
He failed to comprehend the gravity of the rest of the pain he caused.
And today he reached a limit you hadn’t been expecting.
You slide out of the backseat when Shep opens your door, and instead of heading for the staircase in the corner, you move to the south wall of the garage and start opening cabinets. Shep tracks your movements but gives you space.
In the second set, you find Andy’s golf clubs.
Perfect.
You test a few of the drivers, and when you’re satisfied you’ve got the heaviest in your hands, you pull it clean out of the bag and make your way directly to the car you’ve noticed Andy favors most.
His silver Aston Martin DBS 770 Ultimate Volante.
The very car he drove you around in last night.
You hold nothing back in your swings, cracking the glass with your second hit. The third doesn’t do much more damage, so you move to the metal body, and here’s where you see you will get at least some of your satisfaction, easier to create dents in the metal than breaking the windshield. You do manage to smash one of the windows. Then you round on the next car.
Neither Mark nor Shep move to stop you, but you do see Shep is on the phone briefly.
You guess that you won’t be alone for long, so you move to a third car. Andy arrives as you lay into the fourth car. You look over at him with apprehension, unsure of what his next move will be. He meets your gaze, surveys the damage you’ve done so far, looks back at you, and then takes up position leaning against the Range Rover.
You grit your teeth, then raise the club over your head and bring it down with a battle cry over the hood of the silver Porsche 911 Turbo. A fifth car bears the fire of your rage, and mid-swing on the sixth is when a someone finally grabs the other end of the iron. You scream in fury and turn to face Andy, who’s looming over you, his blue eyes dark, stormy, and his mouth a thin line.
You yank against the club, but his grip is firm. You don’t let go though, still trying to wrest it from his hands, eyes locked on his, and he uses the rod to pull you closer to him, nearly chest to heaving chest (yours, not his).
“That’s enough, sweetheart.” His fingers work yours away from the metal rod, and he clasps one of your hands in his to keep you close while - eyes on you - he tosses the club to Shep, who catches it easily.
You huff and try to pull your hand away, but he interlocks your fingers and then starts to lead you away and up the stairs. Not wanting to allow him seeing any petulance from you, you comply and follow him in silence. Adrenaline starting to taper off, you feel exhaustion seeping into your limbs, and part of you wonders if Andy knew you were reaching the end of your strength and stopped you before you would have lost steam on your own. Your stomach seethes.
Once on the main floor, you fall in step with him, not needing the staff to see anything that will make them talk. Some of them may be oblivious to why you’re here, but you know there are those who are aware at different levels that you aren’t here as the other half of a fairytale.
Your destination turns out to be the family dining room, not the formal one.
Dinner, of course.
He pulls your chair out for you, tucking it politely as you sit, and then takes his place across from you.
Sometimes you and Andy talk over dinner.
Tonight is not one of those nights.
If he’s going to be silent about today, say nothing more about your vandalism on arriving home, then you certainly are not going to stoke conversation. His eyes are on you frequently, but you ignore him.
Halfway through dinner and after taking a sip of wine, Andy finally says, “Your hair looks nice.”
You scoff. “As if you really noticed. Your men told you where we were.” You know it’s hardly changed.
Andy set his fork down. “Look at me,” he demands, tone serious, and so you comply. “They’re your men, and don’t make the mistake of thinking I will ever fail to notice a detail, especially when it comes to my wife.”
Your heart skips a beat - part fear, but part some flare in your heart that you hate reacting to his words. You raise your chin in defiance. “I’m not your wife.”
“Yet.”
Threat and promise.
As if the exquisite engagement ring whose heavy weight you were growing so used to weren’t a constant reminder.
Rather than think further on that, for the rest of the meal you consider his correction that Shep and Mark are your men when you’d said they were his. It was an interesting distinction, and you would put feelers out to ask about it later - not Andy, but maybe with the men.
When dinner is over, Andy stands and reaches for your hand. He always does. It’s unsettling because if only you had ever had a choice, the gesture would be endearing. A few nights over this month that you’ve been his, he kissed the back of your hand and left to attend to business. Some nights, he wanted to watch something with you before bedtime, or go on a drive like last night. Most often he takes you to the bedroom.
It’s the latter tonight.
You walk silently to the master suite together. Every muscle in your body is taught with tension, with the simmering rage and hurt of the day seething through your veins.
Andy closes the door and turns to face you.
“Do you want to tell me why you’re so upset before or after your punishment?”
“My - what?!” You glower and put your hands on your hips. “Why am I being punished? You let me smash two more cars before you even stopped me.”
“It’s not about the cars, it’s your refusal to talk to me about something that clearly has you worked up.”
“Worked up?” Your eyes widen and then narrow. “I’m not worked up, Andy, I’m infuriated.”
“Then tell me what crime I’ve committed.”
You scoff and turn away.
He catches you before you’ve taken two steps, gripping your upper arm. He hauls you toward the bed, takes a seat on the end of the mattress, and then lays you down over his lap. He takes both your wrists in his left hand and holds them firmly while his right hand pulls your pants down.
All of it happens so swiftly that you can’t even fight him, but you cry out when the first, harsh slap hits your bare ass. The sting is sharp and shocking. The second comes quickly after. You try to shake out of his hold, but he growls your name, tightens his grip, and the third slap comes even harder.
Four. Five. He kneads the flesh of your ass between some of the smacks. Eight. Fifteen. Twenty. Somewhere in the middle, the smacks morph into a swirl of simultaneous pain and numbness – a mirror of how you feel. You’re sobbing once he finally stops, body sagging in defeat over his lap. He lifts you carefully and lays you stomach down on the bed. You fold your arms and hide your face into the frame of them to cry and settle into softer cries, and Andy lets you have the moment of privacy.
It’s not long before you register Andy’s return though, his weight sinking onto the bed next to you. Then his hand is on your tender backside, applying a cold cream to your skin, and the relief makes you let out a shuddering sigh. He works it over you slowly, gently, methodically. By the time Andy’s finished, so are your tears. You’re still full of emotions, but they’re a swirling, complicated mess. You feel like the frustration has been spanked out of you, but you’re still hurt and angry, but now you’re also confused by this tender act. This only extends when he urges you to roll over, and sit up, and he kisses your forehead. You look up at him dolefully, he wipes away the remaining tracks of your tears. He’s shed his clothes from the day and is now bare-chested and in a pair of navy silk pajama bottoms. He proceeds to gently help you take off your shirt, your bra, and then slips you into a silk robe he’s brought from the closet.
Then Andy stands, scoops you up into his arms, and heads to the balcony of your master suite. He settles down onto the loveseat and arranges you in his lap so you’re sitting sideways over him, and he wraps his arm around you. It’s more of the confusing closeness, physical intimacy that you crave but can’t give into with him. It’s the first time you’ve been out here, and it affords a beautiful view of the darkening sky. Yet another thing you would have yearned for but don’t want like this.
“Are you ready to talk?”
“I don’t even know where to begin,” you say honestly.
He puts his hand under your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. “I’ll listen to anything you have to say.”
“But will you hear me?” You ask and turn your head away and out of his hand.
He smoothes his thumb over your jaw but - to your surprise - doesn’t force you to look at him as he had before. Instead he lets his hand drop and brings it around your waist so he’s got both arms banded around you again.
“You’ve taken so much from me, Andy. You’ve made it abundantly clear that I have no way out of this, but it’s been mounting and it came to a peak today. I had a day to myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to spend it with my friends or my parents because I can’t tell them about us! I haven’t spoken or texted any of them on more than a surface level since this all began. And I haven’t gone back to work yet, but I want to work, I need to work, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to tell them either!”
He is quiet for a moment. And then, “I knew you hadn’t told anyone, but why do you think you can’t tell them about us?”
“What am I supposed to say?” You scoff. “I can’t tell them that you threatened me with blackmail and forced me into our engagement!”
“No,” he agrees, “You can’t tell them that.”
“So, what am I supposed to tell them?”
“That you fell for my charms, that I surprised you when I declared my intentions and by how serious I was, that I made it almost impossible for you to refuse me. It’s enough of the truth.”
You frown and scrutinize his face. “Enough of the truth,” you repeat, the words tasting bitter in your mouth. “Is that how you always live your life?”
 He lifts his chin, a flash of hardness in his eyes. “I’ve done what I needed to.”
“You didn’t need to go behind my back to meet my parents!” You blurt, the hurt in your voice bleeding out despite trying to keep it in, to keep it away from him, not wanting to share something so personal.
“I want to have a good relationship with my in-laws. My mother’s dead and my father was sentenced to life in prison when I was a kid.”
“But they’re my parents,” you stress. “I should have been able to be the ones to tell them about getting married. You stole that from me.”
Andy studies your face quietly.
You drop your gaze. You won’t tell him why stealing this moment – more than anything else he’s done – was your breaking point. You doubt he would care or understand, but he also doesn’t get to know something so personal. He hasn’t earned that right.
“You love them,” he finally says.
You nod. “We’re very close.”
He falls silent again.
Finally, you give an exhausted sigh. “Why did you have to do this to us?”
“I wanted you.”
“I wanted you, too. You should have let us fall into it.”
“Fall now.”
“I can’t,” you protest, and you look up to argue further, but he’s faster, cutting you off with a kiss.
His lips are demanding, and the heat he pours into the kiss seeps into the cracks he’s been chipping away inside you, and your traitorous body leans into the moment. You’re exhausted physically and emotionally.
You don’t know how you can ever let yourself fall for him.
But as his hands soothe up and down your back, you wonder if you have to deny yourself everything for the rest of your life?
What if you fell into him for one night? Allowed yourself to let go, to forget for just a few hours? You are so tired. And your body aches. And after so much hurt, betrayal, and anger running high through your veins for so many hours now, after the shock and release from being put over his knee, maybe you just want to forget and get lost in pleasure.
Pleasure you know he was far too capable of giving.
Not only capable of giving, but master of overwhelming you with it.
After he’s stolen so much from you these last weeks, maybe you want and need to steal a night of ecstasy without any thoughts.
You shift on his lap, his arms still around you, until you’re straddling his lap. You leverage his broad shoulders to push yourself up on your knees, and you look down at him. You can’t read everything in his dark blue stormy eyes yet, but you can interpret some of what’s there. He’s intrigued and you can see the spark of hunger flaring, but there’s something else you can’t quite read.
But that doesn’t matter right now.
He doesn’t pull you in closer, but his arms hold you steady in your kneeling stance. You reach for the tie of your silk robe, and you slowly pull it loose.
“Tonight is not for you,” your voice is low, quiet, but not soft, “it’s for me.”
His eyes narrow a fraction, but as you shrug the silky garment off your shoulders, he helps let the robe fall free to the ground.
Andy’s eyes rake over your naked form, drinking in every curve and dip of your body. His hands glide up your sides, rough palms contrasting with the softness of your flesh. You shiver despite the warmth of the evening air.
You place your hands on his chest, feeling the solid muscles there. Your fingers trace the lines down to his abdomen, following the trail of dark hair that disappears beneath his waistband. You can feel the evidence of his arousal, and he groans, gripping your hips tightly, and you squeeze his length - big as the rest of him - the cock that has ruined you.
He leans in and his lips burn a trail down your neck, over your chest and find one of your breasts, nipping on the swell before licking at your aereola and taking it into his mouth. Your fingers rake into his hair, and he sucks insistently until your nipple is almost painfully hard. He releases it with a pop, then moves to give equal treatment to your other breast. You press your needy cunt down against his groin, keening for him.
You grind against him, and he can’t help but groan. In one fluid motion, he stands, lifting you with him. Your legs wrap tightly around his waist instinctively as he carries you back into the bedroom. He lays you down on the bed with surprising gentleness. He takes less than a second to push his pajama bottoms down and off before he joins you on the bed, his body covering yours.
His weight presses you into the mattress. You feel every inch of his hard body against yours, and you arch up, desperate for more contact. Andy's hand slides between your bodies, finding your slick folds. He groans when he feels how wet you are for him.
"Always so ready for me," he murmurs against your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there.
You whimper as his fingers tease your entrance, circling but not entering. You buck your hips, trying to force him inside, but he pulls back with a dark chuckle.
"Patience, sweetheart," he admonishes.
But patience isn't what you want tonight. You want to lose yourself in sensation, to forget everything but the pleasure he can give you. You reach down and grasp his thick length, guiding him to your entrance.
He forces your hand away with a tsk, and you glare at him, but he is grinning, moving down your body already. He kisses the sensitive spot on your lower stomach, the one he discovered that always makes you gasp and arch your back for him. His shoulders force your legs open to accommodate his frame as he plants himself between your thighs.
Andy's mouth descends on your core, his tongue laving your sensitive folds. You arch into him, a moan escaping your lips. His beard scratches deliciously against your inner thighs as he works you over with his skilled tongue. He alternates between broad strokes and focused attention on your clit, building your pleasure steadily.
Your hands fist in his hair, holding him against you as you rock your hips. The coil of tension in your belly winds tighter and tighter. Just as you're about to topple over the edge, Andy pulls back, denying you release.
“Andy, please,” you beg.
Andy's breath ghosts over your sensitive flesh, making you shiver and whine. He places a soft kiss on your inner thigh, then another, slowly working his way back towards your center. You squirm, desperate for more contact, but his strong hands hold your hips firmly in place.
He chuckles, the vibrations sending sparks of pleasure through you. "I thought this night was for you," he teases, his beard scraping deliciously against your thigh. "Let me take care of you."
Before you can protest, his tongue laves a long, slow stroke up your slit. You cry out, your back arching off the bed. He repeats the motion, this time circling your clit with the tip of his tongue.
Your hands fist in the sheets as Andy's talented mouth works you over. He alternates between long, languid strokes and quick flicks of his tongue, never letting you settle into a rhythm. Just when you think you can't take anymore, he slides two thick fingers inside you, curling them to hit that spot that he knows makes you see stars.
"Oh god, Andy!" you cry out, your hips bucking against his face.
He hums against you, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your body. His fingers pump in and out, matching the pace of his tongue on your clit. The dual sensations are overwhelming, and you feel yourself hurtling towards the edge.
"That's it, sweetheart," Andy murmurs against your flesh. "Let go for me."
His words are your undoing. Your orgasm crashes over you in waves, your body arching off the bed as pleasure overwhelms you. But he’s anything but finished.
Andy doesn't let up, his mouth and fingers working you through your orgasm and pushing you towards another peak. Your body trembles, oversensitive but craving more. You tug at his hair, torn between pulling him closer and pushing him away.
"Too much," you gasp, but he ignores your weak protest.
He adds a third finger, stretching you deliciously as he continues to lap at your swollen clit. The intensity builds rapidly, and before you can catch your breath, you're tumbling over the edge again. This time, Andy pulls away, allowing you a moment to recover.
He kisses his way up your body, pausing to nip roughly at your collarbone. When he reaches your mouth, he kisses you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. You moan into the kiss, your hands roaming over his broad back.
Andy positions himself between your thighs. You reach between your bodies and guide him to your entrance. You need him inside of you. He pushes in slowly, stretching you deliciously, filling you completely. You both groan as he slides in to the hilt, and you throw your head back. He stills there, kisses along your jaw, then gives a soft rock of his hips, rutting against you, but not thrusting.
“Move,” you plead, wrapping your legs around his waist to urge him on.
Andy leans down and claims your lips again, demanding the intimate kiss as his price, his tongue licking into your mouth to tangle with yours. He then sets a steady rhythm that has you moaning with each thrust. You buck your hips to draw him in with each stroke. The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping against skin and your mingled moans of pleasure.
You drag your nails down his back, leaving red trails in their wake. He hisses, then retaliates by biting down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder. The sharp pain mixed with pleasure makes you cry out.
"Harder," you demand, needing more, needing to lose yourself completely.
Andy growls, his grip on your hips tightening as he complies with your demand. He pulls almost all the way out before slamming back in, the force of his thrust pushing you up the bed. You cry out in pleasure, your nails digging into his shoulders. He sets a punishing pace, each thrust driving you closer to the edge.
The headboard bangs against the wall with the force of his movements. Your walls clench around him, drawing a guttural groan from his throat.
"That's it, sweetheart," Andy grunts, his voice rough with exertion. "Take what you need from me."
You're climbing higher and higher, chasing that blissful peak. Andy snakes a hand between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit. He rubs tight circles over the sensitive bud, and it's too much.
You shatter, screaming his name as waves of pleasure crash over you. Your body convulses, clenching rhythmically around him. Andy fucks you through it, prolonging your orgasm until you're a trembling mess beneath him as he chases his own release.
It takes a few more strokes, and then he’s spilling his hot seed inside of you, groaning against your neck. He collapses his weight onto you for a few moments, catching his breath. Your hands roam over his back. If you had been given the chance to choose him, to choose this life, wrapped in his arms right now you would have felt blissfully content, and so since tonight was a pass on reality, you let a satisfied sigh fall from your lips.
Andy’s lips find yours again, and you kiss until you feel floaty and boneless beneath him, head empty of all thoughts.
When the fervency of the kisses finally slows into a languid calm, Andy finally rolls off of you. He reaches for the switch to turn off the soft lights that had been on, then settles on his side, facing you. He traces lazy patterns over your form with his fingers, and you close your eyes and simply feel.
You didn’t know you had fallen into sleep except that the motion of Andy pulling you into his chest so he can spoon up behind you pulls you back into consciousness. He chuckles softly at your little mewl, and then pulls you a little closer to his warm chest and plants a kiss on your neck, just below your ear. You settle against him without complaint.
You’re exhausted, and you don’t know where he finds the resilience, but his hand snakes down to cup your cunt again, and you hum as he begins to work your clit. You have no strength left in you, but if you don’t have to work for it and Andy’s going to give it to you, you’ve learned under his hand that he always knows how to coax out one more climax from you when you think you’re already spent.
Your breath speeds up again, and you can feel the promise of pleasure pulling at your muscles, tightening them for one final release.
As he works you quickly up to that point, he speaks directly into your ear. “You said tonight was for you, not for me. It’s the lie you needed to tell yourself to let go, and that’s fine, but know that your pleasure is always pleasure for me.”
And so unfairly, your body comes for him right then, exactly as he wants you to, and you cry out before going even more limp in his arms. He presses another kiss on your neck, and you can feel his satisfied smile against your skin. You desperately wish you could break out of his arms and roll away from him, but you do not have even an ounce of strength left, and so you simply let the exhaustion overtake you and escape from him in sleep.
You’re vaguely aware of how close Andy keeps you all night. Since he typically does, it’s a surprise when you wake to an empty bed. There is only a vague suggestion of sunlight beginning to come in the windows, so you know it’s still incredibly early. The sheet is down around your waist, and you splay your arm out to where Andy should have been. The bed isn’t cold, but there’s only a hint of warmth, so you know he’s been up for a while.
As if unnervingly on cue, Andy comes in from the ensuite bathroom and hums at seeing you awake. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
He strides right up to the edge of the bed, leans down, and plants a kiss on your cheek, then rubs his hand softly over your jaw.
“Morning,” you respond.
You hate how lovely this scene should be. Your heart wants it, but your brain reminds you not to accept this contrived intimacy he pretends is real and normal.
He crosses the room and retrieves his phone, starts to put on his watch, the finishing touches before he embarks on his day.
“You can sleep in,” he says softly.
“Why are you up so early? It’s Sunday.”
“Early tee time at the country club,” he answers.
You make a vague sound of acknowledgement and pull the sheet and duvet back up to burrow in for a lazy morning of more sleep and maybe some reading.
“Enjoy lunch with your mom, by the way,” he says at the door. “I’m teeing off with your father, so I’ll persuade him to have lunch with me to give you two time as just mother and daughter.”
You suck in a sharp breath and he departs, dropping this revelation, and leaving you to seethe at his making yet another bold move, seeping steadily further into the foundations of your life.
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SO
YEAH
Still with me here?
Even though I figured out the plot point for this chapter a while back, when I wrote it, I had to take a break a few times because I was upset over how some things were playing out.
I was also surprised by some of the development with her security detail of Mark and Shep. I randomly made them up really quickly during Prepare for Takeoff, but then here I learned they were going to end up being even more important than I thought (including something key for two specific future plot points).
next part: Burned Off the Haze
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dumbbitchgalore · 7 months ago
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Old man!Price wants his birdie to fly away 🕊
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Moans and groans are emitted from the confines of your shared bedroom.
A room reserved for love, loyalty and lust between the two souls once again entrap all emotions of togetherness. A sense of closeness between two entities that one would have though to be impossible.
The neatness of the space now poisoned with the frangrance of sex and passion with not so much of an ounce of adoration to be found in the crevaces of the place. Clothes hastely thrown on the floor without much care, the bedsheets wrinkled losing it's prefectness.
She laid there sprawled across the mattress, her hair tousled, her lipstick smudged as its once pristine application now mirror onto John's face.
Salacious touches exhanged, their voice brittle and breathy. Contaminating the serenity of the grand vacinity, their vile performance manifesting within every perimetre.
John looks into her eyes, searching for a semblance of his little birdie within them. However, all he found was an amorous desire spilling out of her spirit for him, a momentary pleasure. He knew this well, the reason why he chose her to warm his bed. His face scrunches up with lust, release and condemnation.
She warmed his bed too well, the cotton beneath them felt like the scorching vehemence of hell donning on the pair. Despite such sentiments, his pace never faltered. Ramming into her like the bastard that he was, in heat and with a simple thought in his mind; he needed to finish this before the affects of his viagra came to an end.
His momento hastened as he goal was in sight. Littering her jaw with short, fleeting kisses, he buries his face between her breasts. Her greddy heart thundering against her ribs at it echoed against John's ear.
With one last thrust, his nympholepsy came undone as the familiar feeling returns once again. He pulls himself out of her and rests next to the woman before taking off his condom and throwing it to the side neglectfully.
In these moments, his mind would finally come to a close. The loudness of his counscious dying down dilatorily but today, his mind was very much so talkative. Without taking a single breath, it spoke and spoke and spoke, its heart not being content with the words it said.
The woman next to him smiles softly reaching out to caress his cheek.
"Damn, did you really take viagra?" She questions, unable to understand why someone who exudes the opulance of virility needed such a drug.
He grunts in response, affirming her inquiry and simply closes his eyes trying to tune out the voices that plague his being.
On the other side of the room, footsteps are heard approching near but John does not make fuss to hide his undignified state. Rather, he allows for the the hinges of the door to creak open.
Her eyes widen at the scene in front of her. Is the truly reality or did her vision betray her?
She steps into the desolate sleeping quarters, taking in the pungent smell of adultery that she thought was impossible to conjure. Tear well, blurring her sight as she tries to convince herself that what she is seeing is untrue.
John simply stares at the intruder before sighing heavily and laying back down into the bed.
"Can't you see I'm busy here, Birdie? Why don't you come back later when my friend here is gone, hm?" He says without an ounce of regret visible, as his heart tore to pieces.
Surely this will at last make her leave and find someone better than him, yes?
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thesummerstorms · 7 days ago
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There's no way at least a few of the Crows gathered for the show down in the Opera House didn't look at Lucanis and Arsinoë de Riva and pick up on the fact that they were involved, even if both parts of the couple thought they were hiding it like professionals.
Most likely, those Crows perceive this as Viago's attempt at a power play.
They're wrong; he's in the corner gritting his teeth and silently begging Arsinoë to stay under the radar for once in her life. Openly attaching herself to the first Talon as a romantic partner makes her a target. That's a complication for House de Riva as a whole, one the Talon part of Viago is already complaining about dealing with, but also in general he wants Arsinoë to live.
(Dellamorte spouses companions do not tend to live long, healthy lives.)
But to the traditionalist Crows' outside point of view, it makes sense for Viago to make a power play through his protege. In his handling of the Illario situation, Lucanis has just exposed the fact that he can, in fact, be manipulated by a soft heart. The way they see it, if Viago then manages to place his protégé as Lucanis's lover and House de Riva as his ally, much less if Arsinoe eventually marries Lucanis and they have children, then Viago will have a considerable amount of influence over the First Talon and the whole of House Dellamorte through her.
Hell, if Arsinoë and Lucanis have children, then after a couple of carefully placed accidents, Viago could even place House de Riva in the seat of first Talon by declaring that his protégé's children belonged to their mother's house.
I cannot stress enough that this is the opposite of what Arsinoë, Lucanis, and Viago all want. Arsinoë doesn't even want to be a mother under regular circumstances, much less as part of an entrapment scheme, and no amount of calculation would ever make Viago use her that way.
But Crows are Crows, and the traditionalists especially do not believe that the more "Reformist" houses like Cantori and de Riva (and now Dellamorte by virtue of Lucanis) don't have some long game they're planning.
So in an a not entirely unexpected move, a few of those Houses send their own agents, their best or most beautiful or most charming, to try and make Lucanis a "better offer" as it were.
Again, this isn't entirely unexpected. Viago can't do much directly without putting more spotlight on Arsinoë or confirming things that he doesn't mean, but Caterina still holds the real power at this point. She deals very harshly with anyone she catches in the attempt.
Arsinoë is a little upset at the disrespect towards her character, significantly more upset that Lucanis has to deal with it, but ultimately stays out of it except comforting Lucanis and deflecting any attempts made in front of her. Maybe the occasional bout of poison, since they've made up their minds about her relationships and reputation either way, but generally it is what it is unless she can spare Lucanis discomfort directly.
Lucanis can't help a certain level of emotional "what the fuck", even though Caterina warned him and Illario extensively growing up that Crows from other Houses might try to romance or bed them as a power play. Illario had responded to that by turning the strategy back on anyone who tried it, not to mention his regular contracts; Lucanis had never thought it would be relevant to himself.
The attempts are upsetting in what they reveal about how outsiders perceive him (weak, easy to manipulate, yes, but also potentially unfaithful which is much more infuriating) and Arsinoë (who's being slandered/minimized). They're also just generally uncomfortable and annoying. Yet he doesn't actually have the power to make them stop; professing his love for Arsinoë doesn't change the perception of those involved. It just puts more of a target on her back.
Spite is honestly the most pissed though. He doesn't even entirely get what's happening. The emotions bleeding over from Lucanis are confusing, even if he's growing to slowly understand emotions outside his domain from his attachment to his mortal host.
He does, however, understand that these other humans are INSULTING his human and their Rook, trying to separate them as if they aren't both Spite's, and trying to hurt them besides.
Spite has many, many ideas how to deal with an insult and a threat. There's a growing risk that one day Lucanis might be fed up enough to agree.
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