#So he keeps getting that rush of morphine-like ‘happiness’ in him that motivates him to keep going

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Do u think Theon has a gambling addiction

[sebeth]

Uber #0

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

Warning, World War II violence and atrocities….

Uber #0 by Kieron Gillen and Caanan White

April 22, 1945:  The Guderian Residence, Munich

Sankt arrives at the Guderian residence to recruit the head of the household.  Heinz Guderian isn’t having it: “I have a family.  At this late date, it’d be obscene to become another corpse.  And it’s obscene of you to even consider throwing more men into the flames…It is over! The war is over!”

Sankt replies: “With all due respect, sir.  That remains to be seen.”

April 29, 1945:  North of the Tiergarten, Berlin

The German soldiers are searching for – and executing – deserters.

April 29, 1945: First Belorussian Front

Russian soldiers are searching buildings and raping any women they come across.

A Russian soldier encounters a woman and warns her: “Hide girl good”.

April 29, 1945: Project U. Swiss/Austrian border.  Location classified.

Professor Wilheim Metzger and Doctor Freya Bergen experiment on captured prisoners, “east-European stock.  Poles, mainly”.

Freya explains “This isn’t a deathcamp.  It’s just mostly a deathcamp.  This is about something else.  It’s about winning a war.”

April 29, 1945:  North of the Tiergarten, Berlin

Bombs are exploding over the city.

Several German deserters are debating the merits of remaining hidden versus fleeing the city.

“I heard the twelfth army are near Postdam.  They’ll be pushing west, to the Americans.  I’m not going to end up a horse for Stalin.”

“You’re mad.  Between the shells or the SS, you’ll end up dead. Stay here.”

“You’ve got through worse. Are you afraid now?”

“Yes!  Don’t be more kindling on this funeral pyre.  Here the only problem is judging the line between surrendering too early and the SS seeing us, and surrendering too late and Ivan filling this hole with grenades.”

All decide to leave except for one.

April 29, 1945:  First Belorussian Front, North Berlin.

The Russian rapist crudely hits on a Russian female soldier.  She warns him: “Let me go and you get to keep wanking hand.  Another soldier rushes over to apologize for his comrade’s behavior:  “Sorry, Maria.  He’s had a bit too much to drink.”  Maria demands the soldier’s watch and hat.  Maria gives the gentlemen soldier a bottle of alcohol for his “non-immoral behavior”.  Maria adds “I have no need for it.  With a hangover, I may accidentally send bullets juggling around the back of your skulls.  Terrible tragedy.”  The idiot soldier realizes that he hit on “that maniac sniper”.  The other soldier responds “Next time, do something less dangerous.  Like trying to force your idiot cock inside a Kommisar.”

April 29, 1945:  The Twelfth Army, Beelitz, South West of Berlin.

Heinz Guderian accompanies General Sankt.  They meet with General Wenk.  Wounded citizens are laying in the street.  General Wenk requests morphine for the injured only to be told there is no morphine. General Wenks recaps the current situation: “Terminal.  Berlin’s surrounded.  Zhukov and Konev linked up yesterday.  We were trying to relieve Berlin, and got as far as Postdam before being pushed back. We’re now a rescue mission.  The remains of the Ninth and a mass of civilians are breaking out through the spree forces.  We’re holding Beelitz as a bridge to the west.  But they’ve got three lines to get through and only a handful of Panzers to do it.”

Werner interjects “Sir…the Ninth needs to be relieved…Sir, deploy me.  We can’t abandon an army.”

The General reminds Werner “If you engage, you won’t be fully recovered for your role tomorrow. The honor will go to Jung.  Are you happy with that?”

Werner responds: “Happy has nothing to do with it.”

We get our first full view of Werner – a brickhouse physique with glowing blue eyes.  The caption box states “Werner Frei – Battleship Sigmund. First Ubermensch Army”

April 29-30, 1945: First Ubersmench Engagement in Open War.  The Battle of Beelitz.

Werner decimates the Russian forces.  Bodies are strewn everywhere, tanks are destroyed.  The survivors aren’t sure what exactly hit them.

April 30, 1945: Primary Strikeforce Siegfried, Konigplaza

We meet another Battleship: Siegfried (Markus Jung).  Jung executes a deserter.  

April 30, 1945: Projekt U. Swiss/Austrian border.  Location classified.

The subjects of the experiments have died.  Marek is the only survivor.  Doctor Bergen explains to Marek: “The camp is designed to look for certain rare genetic profiles.  You possess one.  Unfortunately, it’s a gene profile we’ve already identified.  We don’t need to ascertain its nature with further study. Which means, since you’re an untermensch.  The project has no use for you.  I’m sorry, this is necessary.”

A soldier executes Marek.

April 30, 1945: Strikeforce Sieglinde. Flakturme I: The Zoo Flak Tower, West of the Tiergarten, Berlin.

We meet a third Battleship: Siegl.

A soldier calls for Siegel. Siegel responds: “No.  That’s what I do, not who I am.  Klaudia.”

The soldier asks Klaudia if she believes if the General is correct in stating that they can win. Klaudia answers: “Win?  No.  It’s too late for that.  We can’t ever win.  We can just ensure everyone loses.”

The caption box states “Klaudia Hoch – Battleship Sieglinde, First Ubersmench Army”

April 30, 1945: North of the Tiergarten, Berlin.

The sole remaining deserter peaks out of his underground bunker.  The Russians are advancing.  The deserter spots two young German soldiers and drags them into his bunker.

The young Germans insist “We must fight!  Hitler’s Wunderwaffen are coming!  We must resist despair!  We must resist!  We are prepared to play our part in the final conflict!”

The deserter calmly asks “Can you speak Russian?”  The soldier answers in the negative and gets slapped upside the head: “Then you’re not prepared.  Sit down. Shut up.  You can wait for your ‘wunderweapons’ down here, idiot.”

April 30, 1945: First daylight sighting of Panzermensch (Mark II).

The Russian forces encounter a lone German soldier.  Maria, the Russian sniper, takes aim only for the bullet to bounce off the soldier. Klaudia unleashes a long-range energy blast.

The deserter leaves his bunker to surrender and encunters a scene of total decimation.

Jung’s ecstatic over the destruction: “It begins!  Let us write a new page in history with the blood of the Soviets!”

A soldier quietly mumbles “idiot” behind Jung.

Jung massacres the Russian forces while Klaudia assists with long-range strike support.

By the morning of May 1st, “the largest mass capitulation in military history” has occurred, “estimated in the region of 1,000,000”.  “In official Soviet histories troops involved become known as ‘May betrayers’”.

April 30, 1945: Project U, Swiss/Austrian border.  Location classified.

Freya invites Wilhelm for a little hanky-panky in his office.  Freya pulls a gun on Wilhelm and order him to open the safe.  Freya executes Wilhelm after he opens the safe: “I’m sorry, professor.  But it’s necessary.  And there’s no one in this camp who isn’t a monster.”

The issue ends with Freya leaving the camp with a briefcase.

A very detailed set-up issue.  The Battleships are a worst-case scenario for the Allies.  The Germans now have very powerful superhumans at their disposal and there’s no Superman or Captain America waiting in the wings to act as Allied counterparts.  

We only received brief glimpses of the Battleships but they are distinct in their motivations. Werner’s strictly duty-bound, Klaudia’s fatalistic, and Jung’s a bloodthirsty psycho.

I appreciated that we saw both honorable and morally awful individuals in the German and Russian forces. It’s nice when everything isn’t so black and white.

My favorite characters were the deserter and Maria.  The deserter was so done with everything.  Maria was every inch the “night witch” the German forces feared.  I am curious why General Sankt felt the need to recruit Heinz Guderian – he didn’t contribute much in this issue.  I’d like to see more of Freya too – she seems to use the “I’m sorry.  But it’s necessary” as a mantra to justify her actions.  She’s likely a spy for the Allies but going undercover at a concentration camp would take a serious toll on your sanity and/or emotional stability.