#emoji jail for u..

[rueprism]

[darabeatha]

 /  I am once again coming to say two words; mocte supremacy

[willowser]

touya + eggplant ; 3.2k ੈ‧₊˚ for our meet fruit collab ! ‧₊˚✧ ₊˚

touya's message comes across in the early afternoon, when you know he should be working.

the image that comes to mind is — hilariously sweet: him in ill-fitting trousers and freshly combed hair, leaning too far into some desk as he fiddles with his phone. biting his lip, most likely, running the very tip of his tongue across the hole his piercing left behind; amused.

it'd be even better, you think, if he wasn't sending you three eggplant emojis and nothing else.

it's bold, and startlingly so. enough that your heart rate skyrockets and sweat forms instantly on the back of your neck, in the creases of your palms, as you overanalyze three cartoon vegetables harder than you ever have in your life. you could easily believe he's sending this as a drunken joke, but he's been stone-cold sober since he was released, and if that had changed, even in the slightest, yumi would have told you.

you type out four different variations of the same question — asking what the hell that's supposed to mean — before sending none of them. are you...being a weirdo? eggplant emojis are inherently sexual, right? and maybe touya's been away for a while, but surely he would know that. right? in a single, wordless text, he's managed to make you sixteen again; too young to be crushing on your best friend's older brother.

— though you think of him now as he was only days ago: eyes clear and focused, razor sharp and set on you from across the todoroki living room. the very memory makes your stomach churn, violently; just a kid that should be worrying about their studies, and not about a boy that wouldn't give you the time of day.

before your thoughts can get themselves any more scrambled, another text follows suit:

yumi wants to know if u wanna come for dinner

eggplant, you tell yourself, as in the actual food that people eat. the actual vegetable, and not the dickish inquiry you thought it was. you do your best to ignore the little wave of disappointment that washes over you, and then the following crash once you realize that you wouldn't actually mind if he was asking after what you thought he was asking after; you, carnally.

you collect yourself enough to send him a normal, not weird text in response confirming that you'll be there, and his thumbs up comes across almost instantly. as if he'd been waiting for you.

touya was always in and out of their house when you and fuyumi were in school, but you caught him every now and then when things were good. safe at home, doing his best to hold down a job and stay out of trouble, soaking up a warmth from his family he never got as a kid, when their dad was around. how couldn't you have developed such a crush on him? to see him happy and whole, more dangerous than anyone expected, mysterious in a way that excited your teen heart — and kissing up to his mother at the dinner table?

you're not delusional enough to think he ever noticed you or your big goo-goo eyes, but sometimes he would stick his head into his sister's room, to grin and wiggle his eyebrows at you, before getting pelted in the head with a stuffed animal and chased away. it earned a high-pitched laugh from him, more of a game than anything sincere, but you still thought of him while staring at the ceiling in your own bedroom, wishing.

in all the time he was away — in rehab or jail or who-knows-where — you thought you'd outgrown your juvenile infatuation, but — here you are, still, with fevered cheeks at the very thought of him.

here you are, still, taking care to choose your clothes for dinner, as if it were only going to be you and him. fussing with your hair for far too long, as if he would notice. making little crescents with your nails into your palm outside the door to the todoroki house, as if you haven't been here thousands of times.

you've seen him since he's been home, of course, in the last few months, but there's been this weird aura surrounding you both, worse than it was when you were younger. you're tip-toeing around each other and you both know you're tip-toeing, and he's always wearing his little smug smile and looking too long. it's hard to be around him, really. a little easier to text, but every winky face he sends only winds you up even further.

when the front door swings open, you hold your breath unintentionally, neck straining until you realize —

it's only shouto.

"hi!" you say, trying not to sound as winded as you feel, though shouto — as usual — is unimpressed.

he blinks at you, two-toned, and almost rolls his eyes like the rotten teenager he's capable of being, attitude too much like touya's. there's a little doughy dumpling in his hand and he turns away from you while using it to wave further into the house. "she's in the kitchen."

fuyumi, even though you didn't ask. you follow him in and stick your tongue out at the back of his head, before going off to find your best friend — who is, indeed, in the kitchen, surrounded by bowls and utensils and too many real, actual eggplants.

"what did you do?" you ask upon seeing her treasure trove of purple veggies on the counter. "rob a farmer?"

there's really an absurd amount of them, though she doesn't look up from cutting one into little rangiri pieces. "no, actually, they were on sale at the farmer's market!"

you eye one closest to you before poking at it, oblong in shape and — kind of ugly. it feels odd in your hand when you pick it up, but that's probably because you're hyper-aware of every sound in the background of the house, of the burning embarrassment tucked away in your pocket in the form of touya's three emojis. shamefully, your thoughts take a dark turn, and when fuyumi finally glances up, you toss the vegetable back onto the counter too fast.

she snorts and shakes her head, pushing up her glasses with the back of her hand before pointing at the little steamer basket of dumplings near the stove. "try one! before shouto and natsuo eat them all."

you consider it for a moment before weighing just how much eggplant it seems you're going to consume tonight, and decide to wait until after dinner, if they're still there. along with her veggies, she's got a little tub of red miso out and also some pork frying in a pan, as well as too many bowls in the sink already. though you admire her passion for cooking, you know she'll wait to clean until everything is plated, and no one else will help her, so you take to starting on the dishes instead.

the frown she sends you can be felt, but you've been in this kitchen long enough that you think she should just give it up.

there's such comfort to being in here, with her, maybe because you really have done it so many times by now; the water is warm as it runs over your hands, sending little goosebumps up your arms, and you nod your head absentmindedly to the sound of her knife against the cutting board. you absorb the heat from everywhere quickly, and when you begin to smell the garlic and ginger cooking, you feel like a warm, doughy little dumping yourself.

you get lost in it with her and all the tension from the day melts, dissolves completely when you can lightly hear fuyumi humming over her sizzling pan. she tells you about some other things she bought at the market, gossip about a mutual friend you both have, she asks about the shirt you're wearing and why she's never seen it before, and you're rinsing your hands of dish soap when you hear her squeal—

"ah! get out!"

when you peek over your shoulder, you can see touya there, leaning too far over her own, smiling with full cheeks as he investigates what she's cooking. half of a little dumpling is in his hand and he looks down at it, makes a face before turning it over, and then he places it right back in the steamer.

"ew, gross!" fuyumi nudges him away with her elbow before plucking it right back out, trying to hand it back off to him. "nobody wants your half-eaten food."

and then, much to your horror, right in front of his sister — touya's eyes cut across the kitchen to you. one corner of his mouth quirks up in his little smirk and then you're whipping back around to look down in the sink, despite it being empty. his stare can be felt, too. you wonder if it's a todoroki thing.

"ew," fuyumi mumbles. you feel like you've been caught in some kind of way, though you don't doubt she clocked your affections for her older brother the minute they developed.

it's not something she's ever spoken directly to you about, however, which you're grateful for. you don't know how you would be able to handle that discussion, but she's always made sure to pass off the odd and unprompted little updates about touya over the years.

when he speaks again, it's clear his mouth is full. "shouto said he's not settin' the table."

"okay, then you go do it."

"no," touya snorts, "he's the youngest, that ain't fair."

"and you're the oldest, so you can ask him to do it."

"he doesn't listen to me and you know—"

"alright!" fuyumi sighs, and when you peek back at them, she's shoving her knife into his hands and shaking her head to herself, before stalking out of the kitchen.

you unravel out of your little dumpling warmth immediately, though your goosebumps return in full force. touya grins at you, happily, and tosses the kitchen knife in his hands in a way that looks too proficient, too dangerous for what it is. your teen heart thumps loudly in your ears, charmed and enamored by his tragic mystery.

— and then you take in his still-pristine work outfit, openly, now that he's watching you; slacks a little slouchy on his narrow hips, white shirt buttoned up to his neck. the tattoo there is covered up by bandages on purpose, and though he means to simply hide them from view, it only sharpens all his edges.

the small pink, hello-kitty band-aid on his cheek helps, too, in a cutesy way. makes you all too aware of how much has changed over the years. how much he's changed, all the work he's had to do, the dues he's had to pay. your heart swell stubbornly, seriously, and you try to shake it away.

your voice starts out small, embarrassingly enough. "you look nice in your fancy office clothes."

touya's hand slip into his pocket and he rocks back and forth on his heels once, pleased, before looking down at his loose tie. "think so? you like a white-collar man?"

you look back to the sink, shy. it pulls him in; a moth to the flame of your hesitance, and it's not a moment later that he's leaning up against the counter beside you, watching your heated face carefully. the knife at his side gleams in the kitchen light and — you're not afraid of him, couldn't be, but you wonder if anyone else has ever been.

the truth of what landed him in trouble with the law is unknown to you, the one thing fuyumi never shared, and you can't help but to be curious as to why. you're practically family at this point and it's not as if you could ever look down on them, ever, and while you couldn't possibly understand the horror they went through with their father — you can sympathize with the fact that it wasn't easy. that he left scars they'll always nurse.

touya's always been so out of your reach, despite being just down the hall. blame it on time or the slight age difference or your relationship with his sister; it's hard to hope that he could be here, at your side, truly. finally.

instead of answering, you simply turn so that you're facing him, hip leaned against the counter, and the bright eyes he has on your cheeks are almost impossible to be at the mercy of. even worse when his smile grows, boyish-ly cute.

"what, coming on too strong?" he asks, laughing quietly when you put on a brave face and roll your eyes. "figured the emojis would'a opened the door a little."

your cheeks flame, and you press your hands into them to tide back your smile at how — flirty he is. the step back you take doesn't go unnoticed. "i couldn't even believe what i was seeing when you sent those."

"oh, yeah?" the tone of his voice changes then, shifts a bit lower. if you weren't tracking his eyes as they shift down to your mouth, burning a little brighter, you might've though you'd upset him or said the wrong thing. "what'd you think i meant?"

you glance away from him, directly at the ugly eggplant you'd been fiddling with earlier, and the dark thoughts return. when you don't answer right away, he reaches over to flip on the tap, running the knife blade underneath the stream as you map the wide expanse of his hands, the length of his fingers. small, translucent scars litter his knuckles.

"i don't know," you lie, and then it seems like you have said the wrong thing, this time; touya turns a little, placing all his attention in the dish soap and the sponge you'd left out to dry.

you are sixteen, speechless, nervous by his proximity—

"you seein' anyone right now?"

—but this is not the same boy that left you behind.

you have to laugh in order to keep yourself rooted to your spot, here on earth in the todoroki kitchen, and it brings his attention right back to you. "uh," you say, lamely, "what?"

it makes him laugh, too, all your sputtering. "yeah, c'mon. i mean, i know i'm fucked in the head, but," and then he really laughs, open-mouthed, showing off the piercing still in his tongue. "i'm workin' on it, and stuff. renewed and reformed, or whatever."

"hang on," you shake your head quickly, frowning at him as you replay the words over and over; his self-deprecation is so genuine that you almost missed it. "i don't think you're...fucked in the head."

"well, that makes one of us—"

"no, touya, i'm serious," the step closer you take has him looking away, down into the empty sink; hilariously, a mirror of yourself that you never could have imagined seeing. it does strange things to your heart, your stomach, and your nerves. makes you bolder than you really are. "i've never thought that."

he doesn't say anything for long time, choosing to watch droplets of water as they fall from the faucet. his jaw works in the silence, like he's chewing the inside skin of his cheek, like he's thinking too hard.

and then he says, quietly, "i know." he continues without looking at you, sensing the confusion on your face. "i know you never did, 's'why i couldn't..."

you blink, lost suddenly in the meaning of his words and their whirlwind. you think back to all the times he grinned at you from fuyumi's doorway, how uninterested he seemed in you from across the dinner table, his silence on the rare occasions you were alone together.

you've known touya since you were fourteen and he was fifteen. you remember when their parent's got divorced and when touya got his license and when he got locked up, the first time. you've known him through so many of his bad moments and it never dimmed the little stars you had in your eyes for him, and you once thought that was a bad thing, that it would only lead to heartbreak time and time again from him. you once thought it was something only you and fuyumi knew about.

"i am tryin' now," he continues with a sigh, a little winded. "seriously. got this shitty job and am goin' to my meetings. not as big of a piece of shit." when you start to object, he shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop you from arguing. "i know, i just mean...you wanna white-collar guy, i'm a white-collar guy."

you feel shy again, especially as the high points of his cheek flush pink. boyish-ly cute. "so that's why you sent me three eggplant emojis instead of just asking me to come eat dinner?"

touya snorts. "yeah, like i said, i'm workin' on it."

"no, i..." it feels wrong to admit anything to him like this, so close as his grin grows on his handsome face, dimples showing. you've been thinking about moments like this for years, but now that it's here, you feel a little dizzy, looking into his bright eyes. "i like the eggplant emoji." you step away from him for just a moment, to grab his half-eaten dumpling, and his expression grows serious — a little dark — as you nibble on it. "i like the way you...do things."

his smile grows knife-sharp, something he's too good at wielding. "well, in that case—"

"can i come in yet? our dinner is about to burn."

you both whip around to take in fuyumi, hovering at the edges of the kitchen with her arms crossed. watching on, her cheeks tinged pink, too. you try to step away, embarrassed and caught, but touya only leans in, knocking his hip to yours.

fuyumi rolls her eyes at him, but the small smile she sends you has you wanting to be swallowed up by the floor; this isn't a discussion you've ever had to have with her, but now — it's inevitable.

you suppose you can't complain too much.

"okay, you had your moment, now get out," she sticks her tongue out at touya before shooing him away, making a small noise when he pinches your elbow teasingly. it makes him laugh when she swats at him, and he only holds up his hands and tries to drop all his weight back on her as she steers him out of the kitchen.

you fish the knife out of the sink and return to cutting another eggplant once she's back and stirring in her leeks and little miso mixture. the moment is tense between you to begin with — but then she's humming quietly under her breath and knocking her hip into yours, too, tucking you back into the comfort of this house you've always been in. this family you've always loved.

"you know," she murmurs eventually, rolling her eyes with another smile when you glance up at her face. one of the eggplants is weighed in her hands, and even she frowns down at it, before shaking it at you in a way that makes you both laugh. "he made me buy these, by the way."

—tucking you back into the comfort of this family that has, maybe, always loved you, too.

[shukakumoodboard]

a headcanon from each of the levels you just reblogged for gaalee

oh my GOD this is a top quality anonymous question op ur da BEST. yammertime. ofc since these are all for a non-canonical ship they're all deranged sparkle emoji but i digress.

for anyone who is like wtf here's the post i reblogged.

text under the cut!

level one:

one that purveyors of gaalee are very familiar with in fanon lore but i believe this to fit in nicely with canon while filling gaps: gaalee friendship developed predominantly via letter writing. reasons why i think this fits with canon 1) gaara manages to develop solid friendships with a lot of people in konoha with what is visually very little actual in-person interaction time. it stands to reason that there's behind the scenes friendship development. 2) he's the president at fourteen like he does not have time to spend on wandering the local mall like a lot of us oldmanyaois did to build our social circles, plus, he's got access to allllll the military communications options. and hawks are fast 3) we know there are multiple canonical messenger hawks! and their whole purpose is cross village communiques. of course they're all sending notes lets b so fr rn

level two:

height difference: lee is, in my head, taller than the canon suggests, and gaara is shorter. reasoning: ok look you've all seen this panel and you're telling me gaara ends up only like 4cm shorter than lee? Go To Jail

yes yes we can all discuss how they're all mid teens and have growing time but listen. gaara spent his entire childhood being effectively mentally tortured by shukaku and also his village's effective abandonment. do you think he had a well balanced diet? if we want to get scientific there's several studies that discuss how poor nutrition in childhood leads to lifelong consequences, and just because kishimoto didn't address this doesn't mean I Won't thank u. and i haven't even gotten started on the not-sleeping-thing. conversely, lee's probably been on Max Gains Training Diet since he was like. what, 10? tldr, i'm simply massaging their canonical heights in favour of what Actually Makes Sense Fucka You

i have another one for lee i think fits in this level that many of you may know from my magnus opus fight club: lee is--whether certified or not--definitely qualified to be a physiotherapist, and i think he'd volunteer at the hospital helping patients with mobility related injuries. reasoning: PLEASE in order to be a brilliant taijutsu specialist he has to have like the most intimate understanding of how the body works. that's his whole area of expertise. and i think that even post-op as a sand-squished teen he would have needed tons of therapy, and rock "paragon of virtue and chivalry and whatever" lee would absolutely feel like he needed to provide some sort of assistance to the hospo staff and help the other patients. because that's what a good shinobi would do. dattebayo

level 3:

yall know what time it is its LANGUAGE HEADCANON TIME based on, once again, all of @sagemoderocklee's fantastic lore. i think lee speaks 3, which for me are a) some form of shinobi common b) whatever the land of fire's local is, and c) something unique to team gai that's heritage based. in tgod i call it nishitsuchigo. i think gaara speaks [large number] on account of being mr sand president sir and thus becoming to some extent a diplomat, plus all those night awake? polyglot challenge speedrun. and the gaalee aspect of this is that gaara can speak all three that lee knows, so they can use that heritage based one to talk shit about their coworkers what who said that.

gaara's hugely into gardening. i think this is a fact in the databooks and we all know the screencap where he's holding the flowerpot but extending on this into truly fan-created lore i think he's definitely overhauling all of suna's food supply chains by going ham on greenhouses and very precise water allocations etc etc

lee grows his hair out after neji's death. this one is, again, well distributed across fandom because everyone, of course, is right relieved emoji. but ignoring bort entirely, lee would definitely do something to honour his friend/teammate, and i think that would be something like growing his hair out, since i don't think he'd change his style of dress and he can't learn neji's jutsu. and he's had long hair before. bring it back kishi u bastard

level 4 delusions:

theyre married. what do you mean im delulu

metal, if i am acknowledging bort which most of the time i am not, is their biological child. no i am not explaining how. my metal origin theory changes based on the fic i'm writing. currently its rock lee's tboy swag porn extension fic. hooHA. but this one only applies to when there's kids present--most of the time there aren't kids in my head

lee and temari swap diplomat roles to be emissaries for each other's villages as part of a Siq Deal to be with their respective husbandos

lee would 100% teach taijutsu to suna's academy students. why? because i said so

basically all my other headcanons tbh

omg i had so much fun with this thank you anon! <3

[dipperscavern]

lord dipper i fear squidward anon and squiddy are the same no? ive been a lurker since like JUNE lmfao and i think theyre the same?? this blog is my keeping up w the kardashians so ill be crushed if im wrong LOL

KEEPIN UP W THE KARDASHIANS LMAOAO I LOVE TJAT. ANYWAYS, ANON LORE

now unless i’ve completely gone past the point of no return on the insanity chart, squidward anon and squiddy are nNAURT! the same. squidward anon was named when they sent an ask about cregan i think and said “the pic of squidward holding up a piece of paper is me rn”, and i named them squidward anon. not that i don’t love squiddy (spongebob voice) (love ya squiddy), but squiddy i think appeared after the time of og anons (why are the og anons literally my doom of old valyria….), unless they didn’t and just adorned the emoji, and i just forgot and have the intelligence of a frantic pregnant beaver in the sahara.

wait i started in march april may june junes your month this month and last month and late july (?) were crazy months march is out the question late april to may is a possibility…. okay squiddy, squidward anon, if u can hear us please stop taking selfies your sisters going to jail. OK BUT SRIROUSLY NOW I HAVE TO DO SOME DIGGING

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HII GM!!! i hope u had good worming time ehehe :3 anyway. now that you've spent some time w/ the undersiders & met a lot of the brockton bay wards & some of new wave + the prt!! i wanna hear ur thoughts on them in general + the world so far if u have any!! & also ur thoughts on like.... how powers happen & brian and taylor's origin stories etc if thats also something you've been thinking abt!! eyes emoji eyes emoji..

i am having SO much fun w worm. physically making myself put down my phone and walk away so i stop reading and do the productive things i promised myself i would do this weekend.

I AM SO. WARY. OF THE WARDS. I DONT TRUST THEM. its rlly cool 2 me that they all have powers that i myself would consider like. Bad or Scary. the emotion manipulation thing, the literal warping of time and space etc those are all things that i would be like. this feels overpowered to the point that i almost expect it more from a villain character to build dramatic tension. which. i guess in the meta sense still works bc theyre being set up as antagonists rn but you know what i mean!!!!!

i fully think we've reached the point where taylor is in way too deep to the extent that changing anything now would end horribly bad for her on both sides. shes still holding onto this thought that shes gonna have this dramatic reveal where she puts the villains in jail and the heroes welcome her with open arms. but after that conversation with armsmaster thats just !!!!!!! not going to fucking happen!!! it doesnt work like that!!! also there keep being these little sidebars and moments where she admits to herself that shes excited about villain work or like..a chance to hang out with her new friends. girl you are not going to join the protectorate i can see right thriugh your dumbass.

<< side note on all of this i have a little bit of a theory for this. i think tattletale probably. knows. she joined with the intention of betraying them eventually. im still sort offff kind of unclear as to the extent of lisas powers and how they work but at this point i dont know how she couldve possibly missed that huge elephant other than the possibility that she is intentionally ignoring it.

ANYWAY. IVE STRAYED FROM YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION IM SORRY I JUST LIKE THE UNDERSIDERS A LOT. i have a lot of thoughts on the meta of the story and the role reversal of "villains good heroes bad" that i know some cape media does sometimes and im not exactly sure jf thats what worm is going for but i AM AWARE OF IT . and i think that is playing a little bit of why i am biased like this. but this is not to say i dont like the heroes i wan 2 know everything about them. however i dont trust them. SUPER interested in what Amy's got going on w her dad and the fact that she fucking turned off taylors powers????? despite saying she wasnt gonna mess with brain stuff?????? i think amys gonna get rlly fucked up about something pretty soon. i could see her snapping and turning into some crazy supervillain esp in the last interlude where she talked about how much pressure she and others put on herself w healing everything and everyone.

uhhhhhhh what else. hey powers coming from trauma is pretty fucked up huh!!!!! u know whats rlly funny is like. i sort of expected it to be somethinf bad like that but i was also wasnt expecting the angle that like. the powers are unrelated to whatever the event was??????? like im sure u could find ways to connect each of their powers to their trigger event but its not ljke. obvious ?? i guess?? like taylor wasnt bittem by a radioactive bug that gave her bug controlling powers u know??? im rlly rlly excited 2 learn abt more characters trogger events just to like. expand the data pool and see if yhere is a correlation between the power that they get and the event that happens. or if the power theyre born with the potential of having is just set in stone or whatever. does that makr ANY sense

[dullahandyke]

Been sent to gay baby jail for reasons unknowable so I live on this pinned post now. Cant reply to asks so theyll get screenshotted and added here OR you can submit posts OR email blathanna@protonmail.com if you have private concerns. I'm giving you options. Heart emoji

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Just remember Davenport theadventurezone and being . Normal. What if your sense of self was stripped from you so completely that you spent a decade with cognitive impediments being treated as a butler/pet/laughing stock and then they were undone and you had to find a life for yourself where not only do you have to reckon with the decade-long shitshow but also the fact that the sense of self you have had newly restored is now obsolete slash impossible to maintain. I would've started eating rocks

Tags zone: I'm not a lucretia hater I dont think her forgotten decade treatment of Davenport was purposefully cruel or demeaning. I think she tried her best to appoint him to a role where he could experience something similar to a captain's importance while also taking into consideration that his disability limits what he could do. But like Davenport is arguably Theee biggest sticking point in the shift from comic to seriousness, like even in crystal kingdom, the end of which cements his place in the seven birds, 'read the room Davenport' just hits me for some reason. The stark shift from 'bumbling servant who dresses up to try and lighten everyones mood' to 'stoic practical captain' in a way that's so evident from even the moment that he drinks the voidfish ichor....much to think about

---

6.32pm

Realised timestamps might be helpful. Anyway I told mam about my lawn feelings and now I have a psychologist appointment

Tags zone: I appreciate her efforts and all the I'm here for you stuff etc but like. Girl you know me I'm a shut-in. I'm Not going to come to u when I'm crying at 2am bcos of lawn feelings bcos I'd rather listen to podcasts and play zuma to distract myself. I'm Mr fiercely independent dysfunctional, thank u very much

---

9.27pm

oc in the fic i'm listening to just died..... fuckkkk dont murder peepaw like that..... fuckkk

[angevinyaoiz]

hiiiii i know this may come across as a bizzarre request but ... do you have any rec ( book, essay, movies other than tliw ) that follows the Oedipical interpretation of Eleanor & Richard I relationship on the wave of tliw ? i'm curious to know if it's a tliw-only interpretation or it can be found in other texts too!

not a bizarre request at all for this blog XD

This is the part where I have to shill The Devil's Crown again, which probably is the series that really leans on that sort of oedipal weirdly affectionate/resentful/close relationship a lot when it comes to Richard and Eleanor, even moreso because it shows their relationship and interesting attachment to each other over time (one of those cases too where when you cast the motherson actors around the same age they tend to develop a certain chemistry...) You can DM if you're interested in that.

Also if you like crumbs, the Dan Jones documentary about Henry II's dramas is very cheesy but there are some *hm emoji* moments by the reenactors that I of course find very amusing

Honestly it also is fun to just read the historical writings as well with The Goggles bc even though there's not a lot of records of course of people's internal individual thoughts and feelings kind of the Professional Structure of people's relationships are always very fascinating. For me, I'm always drawn to stories where Maternal inheritance plays a big role and that's a theme that comes up in all the stories I feel when talking about Eleanor and Richard, they're connected not just bc of familial affection etc but with very material and practical connections of land, wealth, and ancestral title (being invested with the symbols of the rule of Poitou and Aquitaine early on as extension of her authority as well, Henry bringing her out of jail to manipulate Richard into giving her his claims, etc). It becomes an interesting basis and skeleton, I guess, to project emotion upon...TLIW takes a lot of advantage of this where a lot of the story is about the characters who have human emotions towards each other but it's channeled through desperately demanding and wanting to control each others lands.

The oedipal kind of interpretation of seems to be kind of almost taken for granted in some of the earlier writings from the 1970s and before such as in the writings of James Brundage in his Richard Lion Heart (1974). I also can't find it now but I also remember coming across some amusing blogs that wrote about the two of them in very hmmm Romantic-ish ways that on one hand was interesting to me but also clearly felt like it was doing a lot of projecting on these people's emotions and motivations XD in general.

I believe those kinds of assumptions of the era are the ones that John gillingham and Jean Flori were criticizing and pushing back on in their scholarship since it relies on some pretty wild assumption making about Richard and Eleanor's personalities and internal motivations that are impossible to know, as well as very dated and prejudiced ideas about "aberrant sexuality" (obviously, if u hate ur dad and love ur mom this is clearly GAY HOMOSEXUAL behavior according to these ppl...) . Overall the psychoanalyst fanfictions are not great for an objective historical analysis but they ARE fun for the literary freak goggles definitely

[doctorweebmd]

Emoji asks! ✨️⛔️💖💌 And don't worry about talking too much--I love hearing about process, so the longer the better, tbh!

👀 ahhh anjum i hope you don't regret those words this I...uh.... listen this got away from me but also. THANK YOU. it was a blast. sincerely. and also i'm sorry ahead of time.

✨️ - Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Uh. 😳 Wow this question made me realize how much easier it is to criticize your own writing than it is to compliment it. Thank you for this question my self-critical ass needs it lmao

I'm definitely a more character-driven writer, so my focus is on making their emotions as real as possible. I want it to feel like you can see through their eyes, like you can feel their pain, or their excitement, or their fear. I want people to feel really connected to characters through they very human emotions. So I tend to focus a lot on that - on character self-reflection and detailed descriptions of everything and anything that come with certain emotions. its one of the reasons i'm fond of writing pretty detailed and emotional porn. i dont want it to feel like a 'fade to black' scene from a movie, you know? or a scripted porno. i want to portray that nervousness, the embarrassment, the jitters and thrills of first times - something that doesn't have to look 'perfect' but still be beautiful. i think that's kind of the strong-point of my writing.

for that same reason, i take a lot of pride in trying to keep characters as 'in character' as possible. keep their personalities consistent and consider what they would do or how they would react IF that still stays true to them. i really try not sand them down or take away their sharp edges to fit a story, rather make the story fit around the characters. does that make sense?

i think my humor is pretty solid. and the storylines are engaging; some even pretty unique, although nothing world-changing. also, low key, i'm probably one of the best writers in the sskk fandom right now. and YET. these bitches are sleeping on me. smh

⛔️ - Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Ooh, yeah, a couple! Most notably:

Fools Gold. Yikes. I really do hate leaving fics unfinished but I have minimal interest in continuing it. If you wanna know how it ends... (spoilers for a fic that may never be written) The tape recorder data gets accidentally 'erased.' Shinsou gives a different code to Katsuki and Kirishima, and by them having different dates on their secret codes and a planned sabotage going wrong, we know that one of them is the traitor. There's a lot of dissent but Izuku believes its a mistake. We find out that Katsuki was always jealous of Izuku's life - he hated modeling, and actually took one of his online classes not that long ago. They get closer, more marathon sex, real feelings, etc. Izuku confesses to Katsuki, but Katsuki's like - no, I have to be with your dad, I'm so close to my goal, and Izuku is shitty, making an ultimatum. Katsuki still leaves him. Kirishima to the rescue, he asks him on a date, they kiss, Katsuki is livid. As Kirishima and Izuku get closer, Kirishima confesses that he's the traitor, and that Izuku needs to stop what he's doing. Izuku doesn't, gets framed for everything, stock prices of the company go into the TANK. But. You see. Mei actually buys like all the stocks and they end up majority company owners, then they release all the proof GATHERED BY KATSUKI that his dad is guilty. Izuku gets all his money, dad goes to jail, Izuku and Katsuki travel the world on a sail-boat, they invest in all their friend's businesses and everyone's happy except Hisashi cause fuck him. The end.

A character study internal monologue of Katsuki's death (lol.) 400 words of eh.

Intersecting Lines Sequel - 500 words of also eh. Five years after Izuku defeats Sovereign, he gets a distress call from Cosmix saying that Leviathan was undercover and has since gone missing. Izuku and Katsuki travel to America and ALSO go undercover, uncovering a huge conspiracy and temporarily being pitted against one another. This is 100% never gonna happen.

Uh... I forgot I even started writing this one? 2.3k words. Quirkless!Izuku Shiketsu AU who is the #4 hero, Izuku is an asshole to Katsuki and he's into it, they start hooking up in an unhealthy and violent way and play mind-games with each other by dating each other's friends and just being awful. i actually think this was my first iteration of zero-sum.

Those are the only ones i've scrapped!

💖 - What made you start writing?

I all started the day I was born, 199 -

Just kidding. I think my story is much like other people's stories on here. I was kinda a lonely kid. I'd spend all my free time making up stories by myself, reading books, drawing. I got super into anime as a preteen and would visit roleplaying chats (i think it was yahoo chats... anyone remember that?) and play Sailor Senshi with my friends and created OCs and started writing my own manga (lol) The first actual 'story' I think I came up with was age 12-14ish? It was an self-insert OC in a Sailor Moon x Dragon Ball Z crossover universe. I posted it somewhere maybe on livejournal? And one person really liked it and we became penpals (no stranger danger just my 12 year old unsupervised ass giving out my address to randos online) and we sent each other letters and I sent her updates and we talked about the story and it was so much fun!

Actually this made me break out my memory box, a couple of USBs and my external harddrive to see what I still had saved and WOW. Its just. I found one of the letters she sent a picture FROM 2004!!! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME LISTEN TO THIS LETTER:

Dear Anna, Hi! Greetings from Connecticut. Hope you like my drawing. It is a drawing of how i think Sailor Eternity might look like using your description of her. Hope you like the drawing..... I love your story. I am dying to know what happens when Queen Serenity goes and sees Serena and Siera. And whats more interesting, when Neo-Queen Raye sees Sabrina.... AND SHE CALLED US BEST FRIENDS?! Betmarie if you're out there...

But you see when you're a teenager, anime becomes lame so you hide it to fit in. Around this same time, my 'dream' of being a 'writer' was getting actively discouraged. It was cute when you're 12. Less so when you're 16 and looking at colleges. So i stopped drawing and watching anime and got 'adult interests' like depression, underage sex, dying my hair, hating my home town, obsessing over emo music, and overall being a self-destructive nuisance.

Anyway, the earliest 'original' fiction I can find is from 2008, and around this time things started to get really really dark. Everything I can find from around this time is... just so damn depressing. I'll spare you the details, but at a certain point I just... stopped.

And you know? I missed it like a limb. I hated that I couldn't write anymore. It felt like something was missing. But there's college, and med school, and dating and life just kinda... happened.

And then. I move across the country, alone, to start residency. I start consistently taking antidepressants. The work is hard but the time I have is my own. The sun is shining. The ocean is at my door.

And. The words come. Just sometimes. In spurts. But it feels so good, because I honestly thought I lost it. That I could never get it back. I actually wrote a blog post about it in 2019:

But for this past week I’ve been writing. Listening to music. I told Kevin about feeling so good, almost like I’m manic. But I’m not - I’m just happy. Holy shit. This is what happy feels like. My job and my self-hatred truly made me blind to it.  Sitting alone in my 1 bedroom apartment away from everyone I’ve ever known. This is what that Anna always wanted. This is the dream. Not the checkmark accomplishments that I can put on my resume. This is it.  Maybe I’ll finally take those voice lessons. Maybe I’ll buy an electric piano and try to learn. I have only one life and I just got so off track.  I can still be that person. 

So! Anna is re-exploring her interests from the before-times. Cringe is dead and joy is within reach. You know what she loved? Anime. Wow, I sure hope one of the biggest animes in 2019 isn't My Hero Academia. Oh wow, I REALLY like it. Haha. Did you see Deku vs Kacchan part 2? Hooboy. Hey did you know that there's a second my hero academia movie called Heroes Rising? We should see it in theaters! Yay fun nerdy anime time. Oh my GOD. what a movie. i have stars in my eyes. I love these kids. It would sure be a shame... if I started writing.... about them...

One month later the pandemic hit. Obviously I worked during all of it while inpatient because of my job, but otherwise, we were stuck indoors a lot. Cue Intersecting Lines. Day in and day out, for two months straight, I would write it. You see, like pretty much everybody else, i HATED unfinished fic. I promised - swore, even! - to never post something unfinished. So in May, I drop Intersecting Lines on ao3 all together. 130k of just... whatever the fuck. It was a perfect storm of everyone being online at the time, the fandom being smaller, and probably the fact that it was finished, but, for ME, it felt like it 'exploded.' Like. People were reading it. Commenting. Enjoying the OCs. Even making fanart?! I started chatting with a couple other people and reading other writers works and commenting and it became such an enthusiastic and supportive community and I've been running off that high ever since!

Intersecting Lines to My Brothers Keeper to Battle of the Bands and it was just more and more fun! Then Izuku Midoriya dropped the fuck out of UA and I'm like "!!!! HOLY SHIT. WHAT IF KATSUKI GOES CRAZY TRYING TO FIND HIM." I had essentially finished 3 very long fics, i had super supportive friends and a tiny bit of a reader base, and even though I was scared shitless about it I'm like 'bet' and Zero-Sum Game was born. I was scared to dig into those old feelings, pry open those old scars. It was terrifying. It was catharctic. It was everything.

Following it, I felt... free, in a way? Like I didn't have to be scared of writing anything anymore. Like I could do whatever the hell I wanted because I really was a 'writer.'

So here I am. Still writing whatever. I have no goals or ambitions or plans for the writing itself. I just wanna tell stories and I hope that they resonate with some people. I hope I can do this shit forever I'm so serious.

.....anyway that's my entire life story. wow. i am SO sorry lmao that was too much. i took such a detour to find all this stuff.

💌 - How do you feel about comments and feedback?

oof. just like everyone else i love them so so so much. 🥺 i actually reread them relatively frequently and LOVE it when people engage with the story itself, like the PLOT! and the THEMES! and the MOTIFS! i LOVE it when people make me think about my own work. or ask about things that i straight up forgot about. or point out a plot hole that i sheepishly have to admit i forgot about!

or that it makes people feel things! making people cry is probably the biggest compliment you can get as a fic writer. but also laughter! but also staying up until ass-o'clock reading!

even if its just a keysmash it just makes a switch flip in the brain that this is a real human being, who is reading this story, who is reaching out to me and i'm reaching out to them from words and feelings across oceans and years and experience. just seeing the 'numbers' depersonalizes it a lot, you know?

for feedback, i probably echo most other people. if i ask for it, particularly from writing friends who are qualified to give feedback, then i really appreciate it. if its unsolicited, its kinda shitty. its anime porn on a fanfiction archive - not a creative writing course or the new york bestseller list. its not that deep. i'm doing this for funsies and for free, so if my stuff isn't to someone's liking, i would kindly invite them to read something else. there is. so much. other. stuff. come on now.

okay at the end of the day, no one owes me anything. i spent years and years being a lurker and even now, having written an embarrassing quantity of fanfic, i STILL don't do a great job of leaving comments. its okay. no one should feel pressured to. its nice but not necessary.

but ALSO. i need my EGO STROKED PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

who said that

ANYWAY. wow. this is so embarrassing I worked on this for WAYYYYYY too much time. with a huge detour to tear apart my closet for my memory box and USBs. but it was so so fun. gosh i wish i still had a copy of that sailor moon x dragon ball z crossover fic. i'm sure it was horribly cringe but YEAH, what DID happen when Neo-Queen Raye sees Sabrina?

I guess we'll never know............

[originemesis]

[Texting: guess who 🍎]

— U know what? — the pre-game garden shit was chill and all, and I actually wasn't going to block you for that. — But the fact that you threw up a fucking apple emoji? — UR FUCKING BANNED BRO — You are going to stay the longest — FUCKING AUTO CORRECT — u r going to stay the *farthest away from me — HUMANLY IMAGINABLE — I am going to get a 30,000 feet restraining order put against you. — And ALSO — You're getting thrown in jail for 25 years — I'll see you in court

[ink-flavored]

☠️ - Would you survive in the shoes of your favourite original character?

💕 - What inspires your writing most?

😈 - What is the worst thing you've down to an original character?

thank u !!! <3

☠️ - Would you survive in the shoes of your favorite original character?

I don't like to pick favorites because they're all my children, plus my favorite OCs tend to be "the ones I'm writing most frequently," and fluctuate over time. Also I don't want Pride's ego to get any bigger than it already is.

But yeah absolutely not lmao. I would be so extremely dead, or at the very least have lost so much of myself, motivation, will to live, etc. I would be "as good as" dead.

💕 - What inspires your writing most?

So when I was a very young child, I became obsessed with Eragon and all of its sequels. To date, I have read the first book at least 8 times, and the entire series all the way through 5 times. I was into them before the 4th book had been released, and when it did finally come out, I read it as fast as I possibly could. I still remember exactly where I was when I completed it: on the back porch of the house my family had rented out for us on our yearly summer vacation, sitting by the pool in one of those long beach chairs.

When I was in middle school, the author came to a local university to speak. I went with my dad and a few family friends, with my giant ass hardcover copy of the 4th book. I was one of the few people who got to ask a question for the Q&A (and I wished I had asked something better but I was like 12 lmao), and afterward I got my giant ass book signed.

Walking out of the building, I had my epiphany. I wanted to be an author, so I could make people feel exactly as deeply about my books as I did about his. It is genuinely the only thing I have ever been able to imagine myself doing since.

😈 - What is the worst thing you've down to an original character?

Hm. I guess it depends on your personal perspective of what the "worst thing" for someone's life?

Going to Hell, obviously bad. Getting violently wounded for ritual exile, eternal torment, plus all the other shit Pride goes through with Lust. Xinya lost her mom to illness then watched her dad fall into a catatonic depression, took the throne at 19 while all of this was happening, busted her ass to serve her country, and then watched it all crumble before her eyes again. Teconia loses her father to war when she's very young, has to raise her sister and take care of her mom from the same age, and then she gets arrested and thrown into magic bootcamp jail to be trained for war herself. I haven't thought about Out of the Park in ages, but I sure do make Park choose between his life and his passion huh.

And those are just the protagonists!!!! Ollie is a side character and I gave her religious trauma, parental abuse, transphobia, homelessness, and poverty!!!! Imagine what else I can do!!!!

[send me an emoji ask]

[sweet-poppyseeds-official]

[ooc]

edit: I DO NOT GET NOTIFS FOR ASKS OR MENTIONS!! if you send or answer an ask to/from this blog, please LIKE one of the posts so I get a notif and am prompted to check this blog because I have too many.

i dont wanna make an intro post again ack. hi welcome to my second unit shuffle blog my first was @jail-x-break-official and that blog has all the links to my other blogs which have all my information. here wee have sweet ♪ poppyseeds comprised of rui, mizuki, emu and saki. I'll differentiate their activity by emojis 🎈🎀🍬🎹 respectively and the entire group is represented by 💐.

the Lore. um. find out about it by prying them but ill give you necessary context under cut

so I will say that wxs did almost form in this au. think of it like if wxs never tried to reconcile after the fight between nene and tsukasa (and in turn tsukasa and rui). do with that information what you will.

edit: tsukasa has become relevant. he isn't a part of s♪p and as such won't be interacting with them and such, but I didn't want to make another blog for him or his unit because I didn't think I'd use it. His tag here is #🌟 tsukasa (other) 🌟 and signoff is - 🌟

secondly I will say that I havent the slightest clue what I want these guys to...do. part of the reason I made this blog was to try and iron it out. I feel like I want them to do something theatre adjacent but idk what. That said this blog takes place during their kind of formative stage, when these 4 are all just starting to hang out all together.

uhh. while a song didnt inspire this entirely the way jxb did, theres a couple songs that serve as thematic inspo; torinoko city, mephisto, and becoming potatoes 👍

uhh rp style: speech, actions, [thoughts], //ooc

shipping interaction is absolutely welcome. hcs time.

rui: pan aceflux transmasc demiboy. he/it/they. masc terms. autistic & bpd.

mizuki: bi w/male preference, transfem girlflux. fem and neutral terms. she/her. adhd & bpd.

emu: transfem lesbian demigirl + xenos. she/they/candy/wonder/star. fem and neutral terms. hyperverbal autistic dyscalculic.

saki: lesbian transmasc demipangenderfluid. she/he/they/it. any terms. hyperverbal autistic, hard of hearing & cane user.

also on account of saki being hoh all of the group knows jsl and rui and saki know asl as well.

uhh yeah I think thats all u need to knowww i don't think I missed anything. peace have fun w them

[seoafin]

i know ur leaving the comments on chapter 6 to answer to later but i’m sorry i just wanted to come in here and tell you that once again you’ve blown me away what an amazing chapter omfg and as a self proclaimed gojowife/gojowidow yeah ur gojo scenes are so fucking hot like holy shit gets me kicking my feet giggiling and shitting myself THIS IS NOT A CRITICISM BTW i just was kinda laughing to myself cause i could imagine u being like alright enough of this guy already while writing it UWJWJWKSKSKEKKE but very very hot and the geto scenes holy fuck the geto scenes went crazy something about them talking to each other as if you weren’t there !! geto being like sorry pookies he’s insatiable AS HE OPENS UR LEGS UP FURTHER AND TIGHTENS HIS HOLD ON YOUR WRISTSSSSSSSD IS CRAZY JAIL JAIL JAILLLLLL also btw u just have such a natural progression from normal talking to sex like ik this seems like a weird complement but it’s all very natural and every time i read not just this one but one of ur fics in general it literally feels like a lil movie in my head ur so vivid and ur characterization is always so on point for the characters i love that so much……can i ask (monkey emoji covering eyes) after reader went out with hideo? and haibara saw them (monkey) will haibara spill the beans…..will stsgo find out (monkey) praying for reader and for hideo if that’s what happens then omg also THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THEM IN THEIR PLACE YES !! they deserve to grovel a lil bit (hehe emoji) walk em like a dog ripmc frrrrr i also i’m excited for Go and Gojo to meet i have the sneaky suspicion they will just hate each other gojo would compete with ur pet for cuddles that man is down so bad like omfg ik it’s so stupid btw but this chapter lowkey brought me outta such a slump with the parting of my beloved so like thank u for that chapter was my saving grace frrr it’s so good and i just wanted to tell u to take it easy on yourself ik sometimes we get a lil overexcited over here but take all the time u need and write at ur own pace dont feel any pressure regardless of how personally amazing i think ur fics are (btw queen my phone isn’t letting me use emojis so could u pls imagine all the emojis in parenthesis (single tear emoji) i just feel so formal without emojis

im sorry i know this took forever to reply to but i had to keep it in my askbox where i could look at it so i have motivation not to give up on ddao 😭😭😭 but you are SOOO sweet im so glad you enjoyed the chapter and it made you feel somewhat better about the chapter 😭 very very glad to know a gojowife enjoyed the gojo scenes. i do it for the gojowives and nobody else mwah mwah mwah

spoilers

yesssss lmfao haibara has the best intentions ever but i don't think he's the best at keeping secrets unfortunately 😭 just a slip of the tongue! nanami thankfully comes to the semi rescue by leading haibara away 💀

[radiant-reid]

do we have/have we ever had lawyer!reader discussions over here?? like maybe they met when she represented him in the jail arc… he takes one look at her and goes “srsly u guys got me elle woods?” bc she’s young (the i graduated early kind) and hot (will die on the hot wife hill) but they get to know each other as the case progresses and can’t help falling in love or smth idk i’m way too high to be articulate sorry

also do you have a compilation of all taken anon emojis?? cause i feel like that’d make it easier for me to assign one to myself / for you to keep track! it’s okay if you don’t, i’m sure i’ll find one! 🍁 or 🍃 perhaps?

we have had a little chat about it before but it's my favorite so i will talk about it forever

yes !! or something a little bit enemies to lovers where Spencer's a dick because obviously he's struggling and he has a very short fuse, so when it's finally all over, he goes to apologize and they hit it off

also i love lawyer!reader because then she could have met spencer because she's close to hotch or morgan

[swaggypsyduck]

if y'all are muslims y'all should care about the fact ziyech drinks and did drugs when he was younger. Why are y'all hyping him it's just embarrassing 😂😂 I'm so sick of kids of immigrants doing crime just coz they're poor. his brothers went to jail and he still has that face and mentality of someone who did burglary before getting lucky with football. many people are poor and don't do that. They bring shame on all of us. y'all should start stanning good muslims, i'm sick of girls hyping up bad muslims it's plenty of good muslim football players for you 😂😂 y'all here writing essays on him 😂😂

hi anon,

just block me if this is ur reaction to a 12yrld going through poverty and the death of the breadwinner in the family.

the laughing emojis make u worse not only as a person but as a muslim. why dont u go read through the quran and ahadith and go learn some compassion.

sincerely,

fuck you 🙂

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

TWO TOWERS THOUGHTS!!!!

there are more of these bc the two towers is probably my favourite of the trilogy, despite the distinct LACK of boromir 😔

BUT i did notice a few things that baby birb totally ignored or forgot about!!! find out what they are........below 😈

one of baby birb's fav shots of aragorn was when he's lying across a rock tracking merry and pippin bc it reminded me of that one episode spongebob squarepants where the lads end up riding a rock to the customer's house 🤣 'it's not a boulder, it's a rock! a big, beautiful ROCK!!' lmao

baby birb ALSO loved all the shots of everyone running. as a smol individual, i had to run EVERYWHERE to keep up with the Tall Folk 😒 sure it was nice seeing THOSE feckers sprinting for a change!!

am still very confused about why anyone listened to grima what's his name, ur man's half the way to gollum u know 👀

tangential to the running scenes: i love aragorn's doofy run where he's flinging his one arm about like a silly. reminds me of my OWN unhinged run 🤣 (it is possible that these films are more deeply imprinted upon me than i thought 😅)

'LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!!!'

legolas's FACE every time he has an emotion. delightful

knowing that viggo mortensen broke his toe made me laugh at the helmet kicking scene tbh, i know it's meant to be poignant but that EXTREMELY REALISTIC scream of pain got me going like 🤣

shout out to treebeard holding merry and pippin in his tree hands. i kept thinking 'what if he just. smashes them together like barbie dolls 🤣'

ORCSES. HOBBITSES. i actually love gollum-smeagol, he's too pathetic for me to hate. HE'S LITERALLY SAT THERE SINGING HIS LIL SONG AND EATING A RAW FISH. LEAVE HIM GO HE'S NOT BOTHERING ANYONE ;A;

that gifset ruined everything for me. 'this forest is old......very old....' old as balls. that's just the line now. i no longer acknowledge the original. 😔

cheeky gandalf!! 'u wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick!! 🥺😳😘🤭🙄' (<- this is how birb thought using emojis worked a scant five years ago. be GRATEFUL i was not on tumblr back then, for the carnage would have been GREAT AND TERRIBLE!!!)

i love love LOVE the scene of the trio beating the shite out of the bg guys while gandalf walked slowly toward the king. u just see legolas punching a dude in the face, aragorn ZOOMING round in front of gandalf and off to the side, it's hilarious 🤣

whEN THEY TOSS GRIMA DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE JGY 👀

so many ICONIC lines!!! 'boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!!'

'it's the beards 👀'

U DROP ARAGORN OFF A CLIFF???? OH! OH! JAIL FOR ORCS!! JAIL FOR ORCS FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

rip eowyn, she's so lonely and sad that the slightest validation from a hot guy she's known for five minutes was enough to make her fall stupid in love with him 😔

(i am also stupid in love with him, but it's different when i do it bc. um. uhhhh. 👀😳)

god he IS great tho, isn't he??? he's so dirty and greasy and wet and soggy, i love him and his dirty face and his dirty clothes and his dirty hands i love him i love him i lo

legolas got SO ANGRY about the orc telling them aragorn went over the cliff, he took it SO PERSONALLY. this makes birb want them to kiss each other 😊

they can kiss gimli as well, i don't mind!!

also the king awkwardly patting legolas on the shoulder like he's a slightly homophobic dad trying to comfort his gay son after a break-up, 'i still care about u but im super uncomfortable so im just not gonna say anything ok?? ok. manly head nod. im out 😐'

OPEN MOUTH KISSING??? BEFORE MARRIAGE????!!!!!!! OBSCENE!!!!!! LEAVE ROOM FOR THE HOLY GHOST!!!

side note: poor elrond, here he is trying to make sure his daughter has a good life and all she wants is to marry the dirty ranger like

'u think u know a girl, u raise her for 2000 or whatever years, organise her birthday parties and buy her a pony and teach her how to control the river, and then in the end she leaves u behind and marries a guy with a fraction of her lifespan, dooming herself to future suffering and despair smh 😔'

also arwen's face when aragorn is breaking up with her,,,,,'what did daddy say to u?? this is bc of what he said, isn't it?! i can't believe he's still interfering with my love life!!!!' ;A;

that lil ~half caress~ aragorn does to legolas's hand when he's returning arwen's necklace to him????? it's like??? idk super romantic??? it made my stomach go SWOOP?? if i stare at a gif of this scene i feel a bit dizzy??? is that weird. am i. weird 👀

i want them to make out with each other, sorry lads 😔

the annoying thing in all these medieval fantasy type stories, when there's not enough men for the war, they're always conscripting 10 year old boys, while the teenage girls and young women without any kids are hiding with the elders and children. LIKE. HOW can u justify sending little 8 yo haleth son of hama to the front lines?? LOOK AT HIM!! HE'S TINY!!! surely a 15 - 21 year old young woman would have a better chance of NOT DYING than a wee lad!!! they're peasants, they're used to hard labour!! do directors/writers etc think it's more ~realistic~ or sth?? do ppl think NO WOMAN ever took up a sword in a crisis??? even if certain things are Not Done (and in some places, even under penalty of DEATH), the Rules tend to fly out the feckin window once there's an emergency!!! I THINK 10,000 ORCS MARCHING ON HELM'S DEEP COUNTS FOR AN EMERGENCY???????

all im saying. is if we're all going to die anyway, then EVERYONE should get a sword. even the kids. ESPECIALLY the kids. it went really well in the walking dead when the lil girls each had a pistol. i promise i can be trusted with weapons i p romi s

the best thing in medieval-style warfare is when the two armies stand across from each other and shout insults back and forth for a bit, like 'you're ugly!' or 'you're smelly!' or 'i slept with your sister, and it weren't anything to write home about!!'

please could somebody fetch gimli a ladder, ur mans can't see above the fecking wall like nnO NO NOT THAT KIND OF LADDER

legolas and gimli counting their kills will never NOT be funny to me

MY KING A BEAST!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! HE RODE A FUCKING LADDER AND CRASHED INTO A BUNCH OF ORCS LIKE A KILLER WHALE GOING AFTER SEALS!!! ;A;

god when he shoves open those doors and ARRIVEs it's so so so fucking hot. god he is sso hot. he's so hot i love him i love him i

lol they sneak out the side door like 'hee hee hoo hoo, no one shall see us~' 🤣

'TOSS ME!!!!!' *yeets the dwarf*

legolas SHIELD SURFING!!! HANG TEN, BRO!!! GNARLY WIPE OUT!!! 🤙

im sorry

imagine being such an asshole that u make the fucking TREES angry??? like, u make the trees hate u SO FUCKING MUCH. that they literally come MARCHING OUT OF THE FOREST to commit mass property damage???? 👀

when i watched the scene i shouted 'TILL BIRNAM WOOD DO COME TO HIGH DUNSINANE!!!!' out loud but nobody laughed ._.

come onnnn it's funny right??? esp since we know that 'no man of woman born' can kill the guy in the next film!!! iT'S FUNNY, RIGHT??? ;A;

sam and frodo tumbling down the stairs also made me laugh but i paid for it immediately after when sam goes 'it's your sam. don't you know your sam?' fucknig KILL MEEEEE PLS

the most iconic, most beautiful, most painful line of the film-----the one that always makes me cry, the one i couldn't forget if i wanted to, the words that stand between me and DEATH------

'That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.'

GOD. IM FUCKING DEAD 😭😭😭😭 beautiful delivery as well, shout out to samwise gamgee for being the best man to walk middle earth, i will now lie in a puddle of my own tears _(:3」∠)