#elder gods || dungeons arc

[spiralstereo]

Hahaha stop looking at me like that

[cluescorner]

Thoughts on Canto V

Spoilers ahead. Also, disclaimer that I did not play it but instead watched it because I really like the story but I don't play the game anymore. I do not think playing it through would have impacted my experience, but do keep that fact in mind and let me know if you think my feelings would change if I had played it.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I REALLY LIKED IT! The characters were solid (though there are some problems), the theme of hoping for the future and allowing yourself to discover it for yourself rather than holding onto the past, and there were some incredible fucking moments.

Firstly, Ishmael. She was pretty stellar throughout. Watching her slowly degrade into becoming a mirror of the very woman she sought to destroy was heartbreaking, I felt like she actually had a real arc this canto that helped her become a less burdened person, and some of her deepening bonds with the other sinners were awesome. I particularly liked watching her interactions with Outis because Moby Dick and the Odyssey/Illiad are the two literary works from Limbus that I know well, and based on that info it makes sense that they would both understand and annoy each other. The moments with Heathcliff were also incredible because they've always had a really cool dynamic. Ishmael's relationships with her crew were also interesting and I feel like that could have easily been the best part of this cant, but ultimately that didn't end up happening (more on that later). I felt like the sudden character development 'Oh the other characters are my friends and they are my compass' thing was a BIG JUMP especially for Ishmael, but it's not a bad idea. I think it just needed more time in the oven, let Ishmael interact with the other sinners inside the dungeon and have her work together with them to get through things. Fortunately, Ishmael's VA + the Mili song really carried that ending so I still wound up getting caught up in the moment regardless. Speaking of Ishmael's VA...HOLY SHIT WHATEVER THEY ARE GETTING PAID IT WAS NOT ENOUGH!! Singlehandedly made me like this Canto so much more than I otherwise would have. An incredible performance all around, stand out moments include but are not limited to: Her ranting at the pirates about them not knowing what shame is, the euphoric hatred in her voice as she fantasizes about finding and killing Ahab, the grief as she discusses Queequeg and the hope as she sees Queequeg again, and OF COURSE WHEN SHE GOES AHAB MODE! Bravo Jang Ye-na, you carried this Canto through its weaker moments and helped the best ones become my favorite moments in this game.

Next, Ahab. I liked her a lot, fucking awful captain woman who reminds me of my old pastors. GOOD JOB MAKING THIS A FUCKING HORROR GAME THIS BITCH SCARES ME! I wish we could have seen more of her (and maybe we will in the future) because what we got was incredible. I was expecting a shitty boss but instead got another fucking cult leader. Her design is also a solid mirror to Ishmael's, further emphasizing the point that they are becoming more alike as this stuff goes on AND making the moment where Ishmael breaks the cycle of hatred more impactful. She is an incredible mirror of what happens where you allow hatred to consume you entirely, and the VA really reflects that. The only complaint I kinda have is that she probably should have been a lot more morally grey than she was. I feel like we just kinda got Kromer version 2 in terms of the role she played in the story and in Ishmael's life, granted that might change in the future so I will be very happy to be wrong if that's the case. But after Dongrang, I was expecting something a little more sympathetic or at least nuanced than 'evil cult leader captain lady hates that fucking whale and will kill her crew and makes that abundantly clear'. Again, I do like what we got so I can't complain too much but still.

I LOVE THAT BIG FUCKING WHALE! SCARY FUCKING BIG WHALE COMETH! ELDRITCH WHALE!

The Indigo Elder is so fucking cool. I wish he were here for more than 3 minutes and actually had something to do. They really introduced a man by having him tear the arm off the guy who we were struggling to survive against, said he was a Color and that he killed another Calamity, teased this really cool plan, and then...he's just waiting outside presumably 1v1-ing the whale but we get to neither see nor hear about it at all. I hope he comes back and we can see him do cool shit, because we had an incredible set-up with mediocre pay-off.

Ishmael's crew...I loved them so much I wish they were in the Canto for more than 1 level. They should have been introduced MUCH EARLIER in order to have their deaths have more of an impact. We should have been in the whale for longer, even if it meant shortening other parts of the chapter, just for the crew. Because those are Ishmael's ties and these are the people who Ahab's hatred is robbing the world of. What we did get of them was very strong, but Starbuck and Pip got nothing in terms of character moment and time. Queequeg got a little bit more (by the way I love that Queequeg actually looked like the design team at least LOOKED at a Polynesian person, I'm so jaded from other gacha games that I'm thrilled somebody actually looks like they're from the culture they're inspired from. She looks like a buffer, female version of one of my Polynesian neighbors it's great.) and it made her feel a lot more developed. She was a solid adaptation of Queequeg and her relationship with Ishmael was so sweet. The moments we got of them together were some of the highlights and it made me really want them to manage to escape together. Of course that was never gonna happen, but still. I also don't like how we don't even see Queequeg and Starbuck die. Are we supposed to assume Ahab killed them to manifest the ego? Did we kill them? I see some criticism around the fact that they stood by Ahab's side at the end and wondering why they did that. And I get that criticism because it is weird, but also that's just kinda what cult leaders can do especially when they're the only reason you've been alive for however long + you're slowly being overtaken by BAD WHALE JUICE. I 100% buy that they chose to follow the Captain because the Captain is always right and even when She does horrible things Her understanding is elevated above ours. And if Her fight is our fight, then surely it is ok for us to die here.

I feel like this is also a criticism that only I care about but why is the story suddenly like 'oh revenge is bad don't do revenge'? Like, I get it revenge is bad and that was kinda the point of Moby Dick. BUT WE HAVE LITERALLY DONE SO MUCH REVENGE AND REVENGE WAS KINDA SINCLAIR'S WHOLE THING AND IT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE HEATHCLIFF'S! Why is revenge suddenly bad and 'oh no it makes you just like the other person' no it does not Sinclair did not suddenly become genocidal because he kept trying to murder Kromer. Is revenge only bad when it's successful? IDK, I just hate narrative inconsistency and this immediately jumped out at me.

Overall, I really liked this Canto! I have my problems with it, but they are relatively minor compared to all it does well.

[enneadau]

Yu-Gi-Oh!: Ennead

Series Description:

Yugi was born a girl, inspired by the fact that I found out that Atem is in  fact commonly used as a girl's name. Yes I am aware of the fact that  mythology states that there was an Atem who was the father of Bast, but  once my brain had started ticking, well… here you go. There will be 9 main stories in the part of this series based on Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, 6 of which are posted or being posted, but I make no promises how many side stories and one shots will pop up by the time the series ends. This lines up with the 9 Gods and Goddesses of the Egyptian Ennead and is the reason for the series name. The main 9 arcs are: Truth (Ancient Egypt) Season Zero For Those We Love (Duelist Kingdom) Kin (Dungeon Dice Monsters) Kismet (Destiny Arc) Battle of the Gods (Battle City) False Light (Pyramid of Light) Orichalcos (don't have a working title for it) Eternity (Dark Side of Dimensions) Thanks to some friends, I am now planning Ennead GX, though how much of it I'll write after I finish Ennead DM is questionable. It's taken me since 2011 to nearly finish Battle City. There are links to all 24 of the Ennead Duel Monsters stories under the cut.

Story Links:

(Lists are in timeline order of events, not in order of stories written)

Ancient Egypt:

Palingenesis - In Ancient Egypt the Gods watched without care as the enemy approached…

Kemet -  Before the downfall, before Egypt went to hell, there was a Thief who wormed her way into the palace...  (Complete, One Shot)

Dishonour - Finally, after years of waiting... they've got him. (Complete, One Shot)

Jb - After the events of earlier, the Pharaoh and her Shadow need a moment alone. (Complete, One Shot)

Mahad’s Tale - The moment everything went wrong in Ancient Egypt as told by Mahad in chapter 3 of Kismet. (A comic of Mahad's side of the story by https://twitter.com/fullmoondraws. 1 page up so far.)

Renegade - The night before his father's execution for High Treason and Mass Murder, High Priest Seth visits Akhenaden to try and understand why... (Completed, One Shot)

Truth - After an attack on the palace, and on her own life, costs her the two people she trusts the most, Pharaoh Atem is left to pick up the pieces and defend her country.

Duplicity - High Priestess Isis didn't agree with the Pharaoh's plans and instead created her own... (Complete, One Shot)

Modern Era:

Season Zero -  After working on the Puzzle that her Grandfather gave her for eight years, Yugi finally managed to complete it. What she couldn't know was how much trouble one little trinket could cause… (Complete, 27 chapters)

In Sickness -  Jou has been ill and now Yugi has come down with the same sickness. Can  the spirit of the Puzzle, Oneesan work out what's wrong with her   Imoto-chan before the sickness takes it's toll?  (Complete, 1 shot)

For Those We Love -  A sudden attack out of nowhere leaves Yugi with no choice but to travel  to an island in the middle of nowhere and compete to save her Ojiisan's  soul. Can she defeat Pegasus, save everyone and somehow, finally, work  out how to interact with Oneesan, all without getting herself killed? (Complete, 27 chapters)

Refrain - Duelist Kingdom was hard on the Kaibas and Seto can't sleep.(Complete, 1 shot)

Kin -  After surviving Duelist Kingdom, Yugi is looking forward to getting back  to normality. Well, what passes for normal when you're the one who  completed the Millennium Puzzle, one of your friends is the host for the  spirit whose rampage ended your elder twin's reign back in Egypt and  old adversaries of your grandfather have moved into town.   (Complete, 15 chapters)

Kismet -  After a close call in a raging inferno, Yugi is left with more questions  than answers.  One thing is certain: as she is, she cannot win the  oncoming fight and with the future of the world at stake, she needs to  know more. Thankfully, looking to the future can sometimes give you  answers to the past... (Completed, 19 chapters)

Unwind -  A little relaxation is good for the soul.  (Set between chapters 5 & 6 of Kismet. Complete, 1 shot.)

Semestral - A collection of drabbles and one shots set in the time skip between Kismet and Battle of the Gods (Complete. 44 chapters)

Fantasia - A game to be tested, a set of rules changed and an unfair plot interrupted lead a set of adventurers into trouble. (Being written, will update VERY slowly because this arc hates me, 2 chapters so far)

Battle of the Gods - Battle City has arrived. Yugi and her twin sister, the Spirit of the Puzzle, need to compete to earn the keys to unlock the Pharaoh's missing memories and powers, but there is danger on the horizon. Will they reach their goal or will the sun set on them, and the world? (Posting, 50 chapters so far...)

Side B - The King A dip in the ocean at the end of the worst day of Yugi's life, leads to a trip from which there may be no return... (One shot, Complete)

Side B - The Pawn The cost of self sacrifice burns deep, and Amane, having risked her life and soul to protect a friend, finds herself making a journey that could end badly... (One shot, Complete)

Side B - The Knight Jonouchi Katsuya knew it was a bad move the moment he made it, but coming back from it could be more challenging than he knew… (One shot, Complete)

Side B - The Bishop There's nothing more important to Kaiba Seto than his little brother, and when protecting him means making the ultimate sacrifice, Seto suddenly finds himself on trial for the future of his very soul… (One shot, Complete)

Future Plans:

Ennead GX Masterpost - everything posted so far involving Jurai and about GX plans

[cupcakegal25]

so i beat totk

and holy fucking SHIT it was good!!!!! i actually kept a record of my thoughts as i played it, so i'm gonna be posting that now just for funsies. major major MAJOR spoilers under the cut!!!!!!

RAURU OCARINA OF TIME??!?!?!?

why do i have to do the wholeass tutorial with no shirt. completely tits out

purah :eye: :eye:

love my horsies

2 eponas [accidentally summoned epona before linking stable accounts]

damn we were right about the time travel [dragon tear 1]

TEBA THE ELDER?!??!?!?!????!

the flying ship is vah medoh idiots /hj

revali’s gale 2 electric boogaloo [tulin's tornado]

damn is this what it would be like to fight the blights with the champions because if so :sob: :sob: :sob:

if revali finds out about this his impostor syndrome will only get worse istg

SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES

SAGE OF TIME ZELDA MY FUCKGINH BELOFVED

what were the original sages named please

HOLY FUCKING BINGLE PHANTOM TULIN

ring :o

frozen lookin ass cutscene

REVALI’S LANDING (this is your fault hope)

great eagle bow……

did link just give the champion’s weapons back goddamn

VOW OF TULIN SAGE OF WIND <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

is sidon gonna have to sneak out to help me with this /hj

zelda has parents now love that for her <3 [rauru and sonia]

i was heading for gerudo town and now i’m in kakariko i do not know how this happened please send help

CHIEF PAYA???!?!?!??!??!??!?

made it to zora’s domain on accident. welp

WHERE DID MIPHA G O GET MY GIRL B A C K HERE [sidon statue]

WHO THE FUCK IS SIDON GETTING MARRIED TO WHAT

i would like to give sidon a hug please and thank you

WATER MANIPULATION SIDON GO AWOOGA

KING SIDON KING SIDON KING SIDON [dorephan and muzu]

sidon trauma arc [mipha come home :(]

ma’am i knew mipha [he doesn’t want to lose anyone else]

THERE SHE IS THERE’S MY GIRL [mipha]

sidon sage of water please? please nintendo? please sidon sage of water?

oh god oh fuck SIDON LOOK OUT [sludge like]

what the FUCK is up with the gravity here what the hell

oh god oh fuck water temple (i kinda figured this was coming but still)

CHAMPION PICTURE IN MY H O U S E THANK YOU KASS

link and zelda roommates :)

mucktorok is dancin

wtf is that a shark?

holy shit that’s like a zant looking death [mucktorok]

thank you sidon for my life [water shield]

wait that mask looks like vah ruta. wait

ma’am mipha is right there [my kin etc]

secret stone is kinda a dumb name i think

that’s LITERALLY the lightscale trident MA’AM [sage of water’s weapon]

i still love sage of time zelda. btw

dear god i NEED to know these people’s names this is becoming SUCH a problem

gonna take a detour to look for the dragon’s tears i think

sidon sage of water!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

i fucking adore him so so so much i love him SO much

another disney lookin ass cutscene but not as pronounced

KING SIDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m so proud of my boy

vow of sidon sage of water………

i love dorephan’s hat it looks silly

well guess i’m doing the gerudo quest last cause here i am in goron city

probably for the best given. history (thunderblight) (riju I’m sorry)

yunobo what the FUCK are you doing

i’m sorry i hate this outfit also what the hell

god daruk would be so upset :(

well this seems. bad [yunobo being mean]

oh yeah that’s really not good

CLEARLY NOT HIMSELF JHGKLASJGLKJAG [boss subtitle]

goodbye ugly mask!

did she just trap us in the cave with this stupid fucking rock [zelda and marbled rock roast]

oh it’s not just daruk's protection again that’s interesting! [yunobo’s charge]

yeah i one million percent guarantee that that isn’t zelda

what the FUCK am i looking at

moragia??? alright

god that was HARD to control what the fuck [wing]

holy shit the atmosphere in here is INCREDIBLE [death mountain crater]

damn is this dungeon going to be underground instead of in the sky? swag

woah the fire temple is the gorondia that i’ve heard about in side quests? pog

oh this is really interesting! big spirit tracks vibes [mine carts]

three whole boss fights in this section wow [yunobo, moragia, marbled gohma]

GOHMA?!?!??!???!??!?!??!

there she goes! why was the second phase easier than the first though that’s my main question

alright so the masks on the sages are definitely the divine beasts

i should wear my vah naboris mask for the last one lmao

yunobo is confused. dw bro i have played many games in this series and also seen two other cutscenes nearly identical to this

wait are the vas the same for the sages and their descendants and thus the champions. wait

well not the sage of water but that just supports my argument more i think. mipha voice actress real?

how did zelda fucking GET here how many fucking fireproof elixirs did she need to USE [fire temple]

elixir wears off as the sage is doing his little speech and zelda bursts into flames lmfao

hi it’s me, the swordsman link. nice to meet you [gorons will help swordsman named link]

daruk would be so proud of yunobo and mipha would be so proud of sidon and i guarantee urbosa would be so proud of riju (i haven’t gotten there yet) but revali would just be really jealous of tulin LMAO

yay sage of fire yunobo!!!!!!!!!! i like daruk better i’m sorry

AW FISTBUMB THAT’S SO CUTE FUCK YEAH

i know it’s just the secret stone but yunobo fucking looks like he’s on fire gkhlsakgjlagk [giving the vow]

wait this is on my thumb? that’s gonna leave a finger leftover what the hell [rings/vows]

i’m gonna like recruit riju and then all of us are going to storm hyrule castle together somehow LMAO

oh shit the rock roast was made of gloom? that makes sense actually

i love the gorons :D

BLUDO NO YOU’RE GOING TO THROW YOUR BACK OUT AGAIN [yunobo’s apology]

vow of yunobo sage of fire :D

actually fucking going to gerudo town know istg

slightly untrue actually i’m going to make a detour to activate the last three towers but two of them are on the way so it’s probably fine [forest, gerudo, wasteland]

rauru knows ganondorf is evil and is keeping him close to keep an eye on him so he’s already many many steps ahead of the oot king

also did no one notice how ganondorf was commanding the moldugas in the last cutscene. what

alright made it to kara kara bazaar! how the FUCK am i supposed to get to gerudo town though

also thank fucking god they put a shrine here i Need it

these guys think they’re gonna be liked enough to be allowed into gerudo town. They Won’t

okay thank you tulin for helping me get here i still have no idea where i’m going but i can work with it thank you

OH FUCK GIBDOS. TERRIFYING

going to avoid fighting those at all costs i think! Yikes:tm:

made it to gerudo town after many many detours! hooray!

wait hold on where IS everyone

THERE’S A GIBDO IN THE TOWN

okay made it to a. guard. this makes sense

alright so there’s people behind this wall but i cannot get in i am not allowed

where’s the dialogue option to tell this guard i’m nonbinary /hj

i have broken into the sanctuary and i think i’m gonna die

BULIARA DEFENDS ME???? AIGHT

okay heading out to find riju my beloved <3

PATRICIA!!!!!!!!!!

oh she grew up so pretty i’m so proud of her

yay she did it yay!

oh god that’s viscerally horrifying jesus christ [gibdo swarming kara kara bazaar]

oh that’s AWFUL i HATE the way they spawned

we did it yay!!!

that’s probably not actually zelda lbr

alright I’m back i was busy cooking

sage riju let’s fucking goooooo

just realized this is a new ganondorf (unless this takes place after fsa) absolutely wild we have had three of them and like ~20 links and zeldas

okay i’m as prepared as i can be i think let’s go

terrible horrible fucked up i hate it [gibdos]

oh god oh fuck oh shit she’s so COOL [riju]

alright i was terrible at that! fantastic [defending gerudo town]

whatever at least i won

ooh mural? let’s take a look

just realized i completely forgot about akkala lemme activate that tower

alright got sidetracked into doing a thing for josha. fought a frox. terrifying shit

but i made it here to the great abandoned central mine

why are there people here

oh that bitch is DEFINITELY a yiga

okay that’s an interesting new power [autobuild]

don’t wanna do this for them but here goes

alright, who’s the “master”

MASTER KOHGA??????

oh my god he fell into a pit maybe he’s been alive this WHOLE TIME

I WAS RIGHT

i cannot fucking believe this shit i’m so happy about it

great twist actually i deadass wasn’t expecting it

oh i love that so much

man are you planning on ripping my arm off. probably yes actually

alright boss time!

done! god that was so fun

i hope there aren’t any more misunderstandings in regards to his death though that would suck *cough @ofstormsandfire's absolutely fantastic fic no one ever mentions fear cough*

HGKLSAJGLKASG JUST FLIES OFF THAT’S SO FUNNY

alright that was a great detour and i am very happy i did it

back to josha!

i. completely forgot about faron. just a minute

climbed up totori rock. mistakes were made

back to riju. that puzzle was way too fuckin annoying [red pillar riddle]

ooh temple on the ground?

lightning temple… interesting. wasn’t sure if it would be lightning temple or thunder temple (maybe like sand or desert but i didn’t think so cause that didn’t seem like it would be a fitting sage title for riju)

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT [queen gibdo]

am i just going straight into the boss fight??? no dungeon??? what the hell

ohhhhh it retreated. so i do still have a dungeon!

finally made it into this fucking place!

five bucks says this place is the token creepy dungeon. should’ve made that bet earlier tbh

oh that voice sounds JUST like urbosa holy shit

i like how the rooms in this place have like. names and stuff

alright boss time!

OH GOD THAT DID SO MUCH DAMAGE [queen gibdo]

holy shit this is gonna be a ROUGH one

FINALLY that took me 30 goddamn minutes

just realized i forgot to put on the vah naboris mask. oh well

ooh pretty earring

so the only ring missing is my middle finger. sure wonder why that is /s

oh man am i finally gonna be allowed in gerudo town without crossdressing? swag!

vow of riju sage of lightning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright, let’s go talk to purah. after we check in with her i’ll probably go looking for the rest of the memories

why is there a blood moon in the middle of the day. that seems really bad

okay time for dragon tears!

SONIA NO [sonia gets stabbed]

god that’s gotta be AWFUL for zelda since now she’s lost 3 separate moms :( [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia]

oh god he looks damn near identical to demise [secret stone ganondorf]

oh fuck lynels look so terrifying now i hope i never ever have to fight one

thank you zelda for having braincells and leaving

rauru going to his death a better father than rhoam EVER was [zelda telling rauru about dehydrated ganondorf]

FI!!!! [fi chiming]

zelda??? zelda honey??? what are you doing?????  [dragon tear 11]

zelda??? Is that you??? [light dragon]

ZELDA NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [dragon tear 12]

god fuck I’m actually crying

heading to korok forest. i fucking hate this

oh jeez what’s up with the koroks? what’s up with the DEKU TREE?

FUCK GLOOM HANDS

i do not know how i killed them honestly

what the fuck PHANTOM GANON

okay that’s cool as fuck thank you totk for bringing back multiple great characters/enemies

alright i’ve got the master sword and i’m sobbing my eyes out thanks nintendo!

fucked around for a SUBSTANTIAL period of time i’m going to finally do the hyrule castle thing now i think

WHOEVER THAT IS SHUT YOUR SLUTTY MOUTH I KNOW BETTER YOU AREN’T MY GIRL [zelda voice]

i hate this so much i hate this soooo much stop looking like my girl and summoning monsters and let me fucking kill you please god

yknow this cutscene would probably hit different if i didn’t already do the dragon’s tears [sanctum cutscene]

alright i died to the first hit which is just excellent

FRIENDS! :D [sages showing up]

yknow if nothing else at least he didn’t make me fight a lynel

i love how tulin is just sitting on yunobo’s back after ganon’s thing. btw

oh, the champion’s tunic! thank you zelda i love you zelda

okay i love the conversation with harth and tulin. hope you were right about the polycule goddamn

i just noticed: link is BARELY taller than tulin holy fucking bingle

missing sage? :o

i bet it’s paya. i hope it is at least that would be cool i think

MINERU???? [voice]

oh god I’m in the ground MINERU WHY

MINERU!!!!

sage of spirit mineru pog!!!!!!

i was CONVINCED whoever it was would be the sage of shadow ngl but this works!

i have built a robot. this is apparently mineru now. i’m down for it tbh

she lost her secret stone? oh fuck that’s not good

I CAN RIDE AND DRIVE MINERU???? FUCK YEAH

oh what the FUCK is that [seized construct]

is there a dungeon here or just a boss fight? hold up

oh my GOD it takes NO DAMAGE i HATE that

wait fuck i slammed it into the fence that works thank fucking god

okay i stun locked it into the second phase which is excellent

done! that gives me big koloktos vibes actually i really like that

also really really helpful that i didn’t have to rely on my battery charge things during the fight i would’ve been FUCKED

MINERU WAS IN THE PURAH PAD????? THE WHOLEASS TIME???? SINCE MILLIONS OR WHATEVER YEARS AGO WHEN ZELDA SHOWED UP?????? i'm shook

actually the more i think about it the more her being the sage of spirit makes sense since she can like separate her soul from her body or whatever i'm pretty sure

there’s the last ring there’s the middle finger!

i do think that should've been riju though for. reasons

ma’am i swear to god if you tell me what i ALREADY KNOW about what happened to zelda

goddammit she is telling me that isn’t she

she’s the older sister? makes sense actually the vibes track

oh she’s explaining the murals from below the castle at the very very beginning! funky fresh

oh geez this is how he got dehydrated! or at least the start of it i guess

yeah, mineru, I KNOW WHAT SHE DID

MINERU WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN WHY DID YOU LET HER DO THAT

god like i understand that you’re dying and there was no other choice but FUCK this hurts

vow of mineru sage of spirit……. fuck

purah please i KNOW you’re smarter than this you GOTTA put the pieces together so i don’t suffer this knowledge alone i fuckin REFUSE

well there she goes but no fucking reaction makes it worse, thanks

oh god oh fuck oh no LYNEL

i am ZOOMING past that fight holy shit

OH NO I ASCENDED INTO THE LYNEL ROOM FUCK

“the power of the sages cannot reach you” thanks! i hate it!

fuck. back here again. game’s almost over huh [zonai mural room]

oh the last three murals….. fuck [sages v ganondorf, zelda and master sword, light dragon]

the fUCKING TORCH ON THE GROUND THAT’S ZELDA’S FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

alright. let’s end this

FRIENDS! SAGES!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

okay i died pretty fast there so i left, made a bunch of food, used most of my sundelions, and i’m back to try again

alright that went much better! or at least the first half did i guess there’s lizalfos now

ah fuck gibdos

aaaaand moblins. please let this be everything

alright! i did it!

ah fuck bosses. hate that a lot thanks

nevermind! hate that more! [separated from friends]

fuckin. did you really need to seal me in. bitch

eyyyyy there he is! he’s rehydrated!

HE CAN PERFECT DODGE???? GODDAMN

alright. one health bar down. no way it’s the last one

OH GOD OH FUCK SECRET STONE

WHAT THE FUCK KINDA HEALTH BAR IS THAT IT GOES OFF THE S C R E E N

SAGES :D

okay the health bar doesn’t go off the screen but still THIS FEELS EXCESSIVE

just saw tulin soar past me teba and saki are GOING to have my head

don’t fuckin crook your fingers at me like that

y’know if nothing else i’m getting really good at perfect dodges

HE CAN DODGE MY FLURRY RUSHES NOW???? bullshit. unfair

back to ganondorf, i left to get a fuckload of sundelions make a bunch of sunny dishes

first phase done. that went really well, actually

HOLY SHIT HOW DID I PULL THAT OFF I JUST BACKED HIM INTO A CORNER AND I HAD ONE HEART AND BARELY ANY SHIELD LEFT WHAT THE HELL

oh my god is he doing what i think he’s doing

VENGEANCE FOR ZELDA. FUCK YEAH

oh that’s terrible i hate the eyes

that’s literally the calamity [demon dragon]

who?? called my name??? who was that???

also how the hell am i supposed to kill an immortal dragon or whatever

i am looking at the calamity right now istg [demon dragon]

okay nevermind that’s a dragon but STILL

demon dragon…. kinda slaps

oh i’m stuck in his jaws i’m DOOMED

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK DAD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CALL NOW FUCK YOU

oh thank GOD i have my hearts back

i see a couple big fucked up eyes that’s probably the weak points

thank you zelda love you zelda :) [she catch me]

damn this is gonna go pretty easy it feels like like i’m not gonna jinx it but this is going really well so far

i fuckin fell off

zelda sweetie i think you caught me wrong for a sec i almost fell off the side

FUCK UP THAT SECRET STONE LINK HELL YEAH

there he goes! probably hopefully idk for sure

i don’t feel so good mr. stark -ganondorf probably idk i've never watched marvel [death]

destroy ganondorf, complete……

glowy hand?

i am in the void. with the zelda

my glowy hand is goin towards her

oh! rauru and sonia! hi!

wait is this zelda and sonia’s time power. wait

are we bringing her back?!?!?!??! like i didn’t think nintendo would leave her like that forever but still please please please

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my beloved baby girl she’s BACK

my shirt is off and my hat is off but i’m still wearing the royal guard pants. weird

bye sonia!!! bye rauru!!!

question. how are we gonna get to the ground

ZELDA NO!

dive to zelda… i love that actually

I CAUGHT HER THIS TIME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

if that is the last gameplay in the game i would be so happy with that actually. the last thing i do is a parallel to the first thing i couldn’t

zelda :D fi :D

WAAAAAA I LOVE HER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am going to give her a hug. where’s the hug button nintendo

nintendo that’s nice that she felt like she got a hug but i want to hug her

SHE’S HOME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

find princess zelda complete!!!!!!!

oh! post-credits scene!

me and zelda and sages and purah! :D

oh… bye mineru…. ilu….

i can’t believe zelda lost 6 separate moms (gender-neutral) over just 2 games (sorry) [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia, mineru, rauru, daruk]

oh that’s so CUTE thank you sages

the end :D

[shannananan]

Incomplete list of 2023 TV & Movies - I’ve been adding to this list all year without any revisions passed initial reactions. 2023 really served loads of anticipated adaptations, sequels and original content. It felt like we were truly in a sweet spot of beautiful things put to film. 

Starting in chronological order of when I saw each, and yes, i know there’s still ones I missed.

--

January - The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2: 9/10 Chroma Conclave, Kaylie, Matron of Ravens, surprising amount of Pikelan

February - The Last of Us: 9/10 Im new in town so going into this show at face value has been a delightful horror

March - Shadow & Bone Season 2: 7/10 Writing went out the window in episode 7 or would have been higher. Would have been lower if Crows weren’t cast in actual perfection

April - Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves: 10/10 Truly the most fun at the theatres in years. 

May - Queen Charlotte: 9/10 i was not prepared to sob uncontrollably for a solid 20 minutes

May - Guardians of the Galaxy 3: N/A  I can’t properly assess this movie. I was in an absolute horrible state the day I saw it and given the themes of the film, I sobbed for nearly two hours straight. Did I enjoy it? No. Is it an incredibly written and acted rage-filled magnum opus? Absolutely. 

June - The Little Mermaid: 7.5/10 Surprised how delightful it was. Eric & Ariel’s chemistry was excellent, the changes gave the characters more depth. Detracted points for the Scuttlebutt Rap.

June - Across the Spiderverse: 15/10 Perfection and then some. 

June - Nimona: 8/10 What an absolutely refreshing delight

July - Dragon Prince Season 5: 7/10 Lost me in the first half but damn that pirate arc came thru

July - Barbie: 10/10 Perfection, no notes. The first absolutely sold out movie theatre experience in years and the entire audience was in pink. S U B L I M E

August - Good Omens 2: 8/10 ... 9/10 so long as we get a season 3. (December update: Okay we did it kids)

August - Oppenheimer: 8/10 Wonderfully executed. RDJ snapping up that Supporting Actor award. Excellent twist and beautiful all around. could’ve shaved about 40 mins off. 

August - Heartstopper 2: 7/10  saccharinely sweet in the best way, i think i am just a bit too elder millennial for high school shows now

August - Red White & Royal Blue: 6/10 (upon rewatch with the girlies - 8/10) Are parts of it cringey? Yes. Are parts of it surprisingly lovely? Yes Perfect girls night rom-com. 

August - Strange New Worlds: “Those Old Scientists”  13/10    “Subspace Rhapsody” 15/10 Perfection. No Notes. 

September - One Piece Live Action: 8/10 I’m new in town with no previous interaction with the anime or manga (beyond osmosis from friends) and it was an utter delight

September - Blue Beetle: 7.5/10 Honestly a fantastic origin superhero movie. If it had come out before Superhero movie fatigue and hadn’t gotten lost in the strikes, this is a solid movie. They got the family dynamic RIGHT. 

October - Book Extra: Percy Jackson & The Chalice of the Gods: 10/10 can’t even be mad that it was short cause more books are coming

October - Podcast Extra: Strike Force Five: 9/10 Going into Episode 5 innocently before any lore had been built around has got to be the hardest I’ve laughed at any media for over an hour for a long time. i had a headache afterwards

October - Our Flag Means Death Season 2: 8/10 My perfect show isn’t perfect anymore and that’s okay. MVP of the season was blackbeard’s wig 15/10

November - The Marvels: 6/10 I really really wanted to like this movie. The weight of the MCU brought it down and muddied the screenplay into something mediocre rather than letting it lean into a genre film. I will give it props that the use of Memory healed something in my soul that fundamentally broke during Cats (2019). 

November - Killers of the Flower Moon: 9/10 The horror is in the slow, quiet, mundanity that stretches through the entire film. with impeccable performances by Lily Gladstone and Robert de Niro. It is not a comfortable or easy watch and I absolutely understand the Indigenous critique of the film and that there is space for layered discussions. 

December - The Hunger Games: A Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes: 9/10 Having not read the book and not revisiting THG series since it’s cultural zeitgeist, it was amazing how easy it was to fall back into the world. This film carries a different kind of dirtier grounded authenticity that hits closer to the world we live in right now than the later stories in the world. The interweaving of music is masterful and no one is doing it like Rachel Zegler right now. A villain doomed by his own hubris, paranoia, and drive for power, this was an incredible origin story 

December - The Boy & The Heron: 9/10 When the movie ended i just sat there thinking “that was one of the most beautiful things ive ever seen”. Did I understand all of it? No. And thats okay. Esoteric, whimsical, emotionally driven by grief and a child trying to understand mortality. It had all the Miyazaki hits: funky lil round friends, mouth-watering food, the most unhinged lil grandmas, a beautiful world doomed for destruction, a weird little man, a highly competent badass lady, and the most existential questions about existence. 

December - Percy Jackson & The Olympians (so far): 9/10 With only 3 episodes released before the end of the year - it’s incredible. PJO fans are winning. Jason Mantzoukas is perfect casting. The trio have so much chemistry. I would die for Grover, Aryan is killing it.

December - Honourable Mention: Silver Skates (2020): 12/10 Stumbled onto this Russian movie on Netflix and It. Has. Everything. You want Six of Crows and Peaky Blinders on skates? You want Russian-knock-off Tom Holland? It’s serving Anastasia/Titanic/Moulin Rouge. The cinematography is stunning. My heart would not stop racing. 

[theworldbrewery]

legend lore: how to write compelling lore for people, places, and things

aka, why and how should you write lore?

The answer depends on your game and players. In this post, I’m going to go over the “Hack-n-Slash” model, the “Suspense/Mystery/Intrigue” model, and the “Epic” model.

But first, a quick definition: “lore” is basically just gossip and rumor, sized up by an order of magnitude. Lore typically refers to items, people, and places of legendary importance--even if they’ve faded from the public consciousness and been forgotten. It can be misused, but basically, you should always use a couple guiding principles.

The first is Rule of Cool. Your lore should be cool. Whatever that means for you and your players, lore that focuses on stodgy details isn’t lore, it’s history. Lore about an ancient queen shouldn’t be about the laws she passed, but the vampire sorceress she had an enemies-to-lovers relationship with. It’s not realistic, but it is more fun and entertaining.

The second is Keep it tied to the players’ interests. If one PC is dedicated to defeating a bloodthirsty army of demons, consider putting down a connection to the demon army in your lore about a lost city. That gives your players a personal investment already built-in when some random job board sends them to find the lost city.

Hack-n-Slash

If you and your players prefer a hack-n-slash style of gameplay, your lore might be nothing more than set dressing: think of it like the backdrop curtain on a stage play. Lore can set the tone of a dungeon, establish a monster or cursed item as really bad, and give NPCs a reputation that precedes them. Truly compelling lore might even provide hints on how to resolve a problem; for example, the lore about the dungeon’s most recent occupant being obsessed with resurrection magic might help the players figure out that they should prepare anti-undead spells before they walk into the zombie-fuelled boss battle.

For a hack-n-slash campaign, lore should be dispensed by the friendly NPCs that the players meet. I recommend it in the form of gossip or reputation. Ideally, your players are tactical-minded enough to ask questions of you that require rolls like History, Arcana, etc. that can reveal lore, but if they don’t, a helpful NPC like the local yokel asking for help with his sheep being devoured can be a supply of useful information.

I am also a big fan of using sentient weapons here, for similar reasons. A sentient weapon can tell you all about the bloodthirsty dragon who created it...after you’ve attuned to it and become cursed, of course.

Suspense/Mystery/Intrigue

In a game where the focus tends to be on solving mysteries and gleaning information, you’ll likely be less forthcoming with lore, but you’ll need it more. In this situation, lean more heavily on the gossip/rumor mill element. The current Council of Elders that runs the capital city might have several different reputations depending on who you talk to, and depending on who’s right, it could reveal an ulterior motive or secret agenda that has disastrous implications for the entire realm. Using lore as a way to set up higher-stakes conflicts later on in the campaign will draw your players in, and if you maintain secrecy and uncertainty, you can get them theorizing about what’s to come.

In this type of campaign, roleplay encounters are frequently going to be at the forefront, which means you don’t need to worry about cramming in a lot of lore in one interaction. Dispense the lore carefully instead, holding it in reserve with NPCs that would be knowledgeable on the subject like a town historian and genealogist, a retired adventurer, or an arcanist, and it should take work to discover the most controversial lore.

Epics

In an epic campaign, where the stakes are high, the items are legendary, and the legacies the PCs leave is a matter of great importance, lore is a blend scenery and clues. Lore sets up player expectations of the tone of the story and the nature of the story you’re telling together, but it also helps them piece together what lies in their future. Epic lore will be linked to Big Bads coming out of the woodwork after centuries of dormancy, holy relics that need to be restored to salvage dying religions, and so on. Lore can actually become fuel for the quest in these situations. In other words, lore is a different kind of tool in an Epic campaign because Epic campaigns are at least partially built on creating and becoming legends yourselves. 

In an epic campaign, don’t make lore too easy to come by, but there’s no point in playing your cards too close to the vest, either. I recommend offering a “teaser” of lore to get your players interested at the start of a quest that will connect to that lore, with the possibility of getting more as the arc progresses.

_____________________

In essence, the role of lore in your campaign will vary! And it may even vary from one arc to the next; you’ll handle a “detect and thwart an assassination attempt” task differently from a “clear out this dungeon” task when it comes to lore.

If you feel you are over-prepping lore that your players never use...back off of it for awhile, but also check in with the lore you’re creating! Does it follow the two principles I mentioned at the start? If not, that might be the problem, and lack of engagement is a symptom. If you feel like you never know how much or little to give when a player rolls a History check or seeks a library book about a mysterious item:

rank your lore tidbits as “uncommon,” “rare,” “very rare,” and “legendary.” The higher a player must roll, or the harder they must work to gain the information, corresponds to how rare the lore is. For instance, when the party in my campaign was researching the end of a war between the gods, they got a natural 20; as a result, they found a text that was considered a fringe theory that revealed that three mortals had killed a god and ascended to godhood themselves, and that an evil god had been falsely accused of the crime. This information completely changed their understanding of this event, which in turn influenced the goals of the party. Anything lower than what they rolled, and they would likely not have uncovered this information for months.

[fancytrinkets]

Difficulty Settings Adjusted (Trevelyan/Dorian)

Part 2 of a silly fic in which the act of reloading the game at an early save point gets incorporated into the narrative. Part 1 is Save Point Reload.

With each step he takes and every spell he casts, Trevelyan revels in how good he feels. For the first time in months, he's no longer suffering from constant, debilitating pain. It's delightful enough that he laughs to himself, his joy overflowing despite that he and Dorian are going to have a difficult time explaining all this to the rest of the Inquisition.

It may seem as though we've both just met, but in fact we've been married for decades. And it turns out we can't actually die. But don't worry, I promise we aren't maleficars.

That doesn't sound good — specifically, it might not go over well with Cassandra. Or Cullen. Or anyone else, actually. Perhaps if they had a solid, working theory, they could explain it in a way that makes sense. Dorian must be thinking the same, because he's talking it through — thinking out loud as he posits a reason.

"Alexius must have done something daringly experimental to the amulet. I can only assume he managed to add a magical failsafe."

"What sort of failsafe?" Trevelyan asks as he rifles through a desk drawer in search of Venatori letters and snippets of diaries — (he'd forgotten how much fun it is to do this!)

"I believe," Dorian says, "that in the event of his untimely death while trying to change the past, the experimental magic would have returned him to the moment the amulet was first activated — or thereabouts," Dorian says. "He would have designed the spell to keep his memories intact, thus giving him a better chance of saving Felix on his next attempt."

He pauses in his explanation as both he and Trevelyan approach a closed door. Faint, muffled voices can be heard on the other side. Dorian steps closer to listen, and then makes a swift set of hand signals. Still tucking a stolen letter in his pocket, Trevelyan nods. Four Venatori, possibly more. The plan is to hit them fast with chain lightning.

Trevelyan turns the latch and then kicks the door open. At the same time, Dorian's lightning spell arcs through all four enemies. Only one remains standing, but Trevelyan finishes him off with a quick second hit.

"I remember this being more of a challenge," he says, surveying the smoking corpses of their foes. "I'd even go so far as to call it a nightmare the first time through. A real trial."

"Well," Dorian says, "we may look young and beautiful, but at heart we're still wily old men, and we've honed our skills for decades. No surprise this is casual combat at best."

"Fair point," Trevelyan says.

He takes a ring from one of the dead men. It's nice — gold, with a fancy gem. Not enchanted yet, but that can remedied.

"I missed all the theft," he says.

He's aware that he's being flippant, but it hardly seems important. This is Redcliffe in 9:42 — the terrible, alternate future that will all be erased when they defeat Alexius and return safely to 9:41 — just like they did the last time.

"Explain the amulet further, will you?" Trevelyan says. "If this failsafe feature was intended for Alexius, then why did it happen to us instead?"

"Perhaps we unwittingly hijacked the spell when Alexius first used the amulet against us," Dorian says. "I suspect it wouldn't have mattered which of us died — either way, we'd both end up here together. And I also suspect it will occur time and again until the spell is finally broken."

"You think there's a way to break it?" Trevelyan asks.

"There's always a way," Dorian says.

He opens a door and then points to indicate the stairs. He's found a way up, away from the dungeons.

"There, you see," he says. "My point exactly."

"And what if we choose not to break this spell?" Trevelyan asks. "Would we truly never die?"

"A fascinating question," Dorian says, as he leads the way upstairs. "We could live lifetime after lifetime, accruing knowledge and power."

He's briefly interrupted by sound of Venatori guards shouting from the top of the stairs. But they pose no threat — a single burst of fire from Trevelyan's staff does them in. They barely have time to scream before the flame consumes them.

"You make it sound almost god-like," Trevelyan says.

"It would be, yes," Dorian says. "And I fear we'd become more terrible than all the elder magisters and the Old Gods combined. That's how a power like this always works."

"Must it though?"

"In truth I'm not sure," Dorian says, "but let's hope not. I'm irritable towards everyone when I haven't had lunch, that much I do know. But I've never much wanted to be the villain."

"You'd make such a handsome one," Trevelyan says, joking as he steps over the charred bodies of their most recent victims.

Dorian grins. "You're right about that. I would."

[metatron-becky-chuck]

It Takes Two to Tango and Three to Start a Riot

ONE SHOT

Characters: Demon!Dean, Dean, Soulless!Sam, Sam, Crazy!Castiel, Castiel, Chuck, Billie, and Reader.

Word Count: 8400

Warnings: Bit of smut. Lot of angst. Mature themes. Low self-esteem issues. Torture. NONCON/UNWANTED KISSING AND TOUCHING! Reader gets chained up as certain characters take some liberties with the situation. 

Summary: Chuck stops by the bunker to drop in on his favorite toys. He decides to throw some fan favorites the Reader’s way just for entertainment’s sake. The bunker goes into lock down mode as she struggles to stay alive.

A/N: Be warned!

The lights turn red. The halls of the bunker fall silent. You think about running to the dungeon. It will protect you from one, but what of the others? What could protect you from them? Your heartbeat pounds faster. The sound echoes in your head. Shivers continue to be sent down your spine. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Goosebumps cover your arms. “You’ve got to be shitting me,” you curse as your eyes adjust to the dim lighting and you see the silhouette of a man.

------ ------ ------

TEN MINUTES EARLIER…

“Alright,” you said as you slid the brothers a beer across the war room table. “What’s our play?”

The continued fight of trying to kill God tended to lead to a lot of dead ends. You, Castiel, Sam, and Dean, were all trying to come up with some sort of sneak attack. Relying on Jack was good and all but when Billie would take him out of the picture and send him on missions doing who knows what, it left your collective consciousness very uneasy.

“I don’t know,” replies Sam. He takes the beer and you take a seat across from Cas. “Did Billie say anything else about her ‘plan’ or whatever it is she’s scheming?”

“Nope,” answers Dean as he takes a swig from the bottle. He props his feet on the table and leans back in his chair.

“She only said that she needed Jack and she didn’t need us or for us to know where she was taking him,” Castiel adds with a minor annoyance in his tone.

“You know?” Dean starts to say with his ever so thrilling sarcasm. “It’s great, really. Death being on our side fighting against God. Against God.” Dean throws up his hands.

“Dean,” Sam says, trying to stop his brother from getting more pissy than he usually is. 

“No! Really! What ever happened to angels? To simple ghosts and demons?” The term simple is not used often around here and when it is, it’s served alongside sarcasm.

“I don’t know, Dean!” You respond with your own rising anger. “But you know what I do know? The fact that when we had ourselves up to crap before, and we got out of it!”

“Yes,” Sam agrees. “And we will do it again. You’re the one who said you always wanted to go out swinging, Dean. So let’s go out swinging.”

The four of you go back to silence. Staying cooped up in the bunker with each other caused a lot of unnecessary anger. You know the others' thoughts. You know just how bad each one of you wishes for all of this to come to. And each of you know that this could be it. This could be the end.

“This is it, isn’t it?” Cas asks. You all look towards one another. “The final battle.” Cas takes a sip of the beer that does him little to no good. “Out of all my millennials, all my existence, this may very well be the only time I think my life has truly meant something.”

“Well, Cas, I’m happy for you,” Dean responds with a cheap smile. You sigh and Sam notices the depressed look spread on your face.

“I know this all seems like a suicide mission,” Sam looks at you, “but maybe this doesn’t have to be the end.” The younger Winchester’s optimistic outlook of life always surprised you. “Maybe we can make it through this. I believe we can win. So why not believe in us making it out alive?”

You roll your eyes at him and down another gulp of the alcohol. Nothing could make this better. And that’s including getting a buzz which you have been trying to do for the past hour. It couldn’t get much worse either. You knew that much. You already had a huge target on your back thanks to the almighty. He wanted the brothers to duel to the death, but what about you? What was he going to do to you? You couldn’t help but wonder.

Your train of thought stopped once you notice Cas in a hypnotic trance. 

“Cas?” Dean asks as he too notices the dead eyed angel.

“Power,” Cas mumbles, still in a deep trance.

“What?” Sam questions. The three of you huddle around a petrified looking Castiel. 

“It’s power.” The angel looks at the three of you in shock and fear. “A strong power is coming.”

His grim and worrisome tone sets your heart pumping into overtime. A sudden rush of chills flows in your bones. You turn around.

“Hi, guys,” Billie says. “I have some news.”

“Where’s J--” Dean tries to ask, but instead gets his mouth locked by a quick glance from Death.

“Listen,” Billie orders and you all stand still knowing that she doesn’t drop just in for some mingling. “This is a warning. Y/n,” she looks to you and walks closer, “I need you to stay alive.”

“What does that mean?” Sam asks. You can hear the nervousness in his voice. You just remain still, continuing to stare in the face of Death.

“It means,” Billie glances over to Sam and Dean, “she’s going to have to fight. Stay alive.”

“Who is she going to have to fight?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah, and give us an answer this time! Not some metaphoric crap.” Dean commands. “Give us the truth.” Billie looks at Dean with her stern and emotionless face. She turns her eyes towards you again. 

“Good luck, Y/n. Make sure to run.” And with that, she’s gone.

“What the hell was that about?” Dean asks you.

“I don’t know!” You shout. What was that all about. A mysterious visit from Death was never good. “Cas? What’s happening?” You ask.

Before Castiel can answer your question that you immediately regret asking, another powerful aura befalls the bunker. A very powerful one. You take a deep breath and look up to the boys. You know what this is. You know who is here. You know who is watching. He is. And each of you know, there is no way out of this.

In an instant, the four of you are transported to the library. Each in a corner, each unable to move, and each with a weapon in your hand. You all look down and to each other.

Dean has the first blade, Castiel has his angel blade, Sam has the demon knife, and you have a Grigori sword.

“Listen guys,” a familiar voice echoes throughout the bunker. “This has all been… fun. You could say.”

You look to Dean who immediately turns on his murderous face. “Chuck,” he says with such anger and madness that even his single word sends a shiver down your spine.

“Yep,” Chuck continues, “It’s me. Now see, I’ve been getting bored recently.”

“Go to hell, Chuck!” Sam shouts.

“Ouch,” he replies sarcastically. “Sammy, you should really learn to respect your elders. Especially if they are God and they can… oh, I don’t know… do this!” Within a split second, Sam ends up on the floor, screaming. None of you can move. Only watch his torture.

“Sam?! Sam!” Dean calls out. “Damn it! Stop it!” Dean orders. “Stop it you son of a bitch!”

“Really, Dean? Did you not just see what happens when you talk back to me?” Just like Sam, Dean falls to the floor and starts to scream. You shudder at the sight of the brothers in pain. You can’t stop it. “You guys really never learn, do you?!”

“Chuck,” Cas speaks up, he shuts his eyes, unable to look at the dreadful sight before him. “What game are you playing?” Castiel shares your thoughts. A visit from Death and God? Just one of them is bad, but both? Both are when you have an apocalypse on your hands.

“Now that,” Chuck pauses as he suddenly appears in the middle of the four of you, “is a very good question.”

Sam and Dean continue to scream in pain as if their insides are being boiled. You look at Chuck and his smug face. Whatever the hell is going on, it isn’t good. But it is his doing. Just another reason to want him dead.

“Castiel,” he says as he walks over to the angel, “my son, you are very smart. On occasion that is.” He smiles and steps over the brothers as they lay on the floor. “You see, I’m bored. Like I said. And I just want some entertainment. You know? It gets lonely being an all powerful being and having all your toys be broken. It’s a real shame.” He leans down and looks into Sam’s face.

“What does that mean?” You say, on the edge of tears. You watch as the brothers are stuck and in pain. You feel helpless. This is what happens when you decide to start a fight with someone who is too powerful for their own good. Chuck walks over to you, staring you dead in the face. You hold your breath, bite your tongue. He could kill all of you in an instant if he wanted to.

“It means: Just because the toys are broken, doesn't mean they don’t qualify for a good story.” He smiles and walks back to the center of the room, snapping his fingers, causing you all to go back to your previous stance. “When you all were broken, it was when you were my best sellers. I’m bored and I want some entertainment. So, let’s revisit those broken character arcs, shall we?” Chuck disappears again. You look to Sam and Dean who appear to be out of breath but alright and standing, stuck, like the rest of you. You look at Cas who couldn’t even try to hide his fear if he wanted to.

“It is show time!” Chuck announces. “Let’s get ready to rumble!” You fall to the ground out of your stuck stance as the boys start to scream in pain. You go over to them and try to pull them out. You can’t. They stay standing upright. Yelling and screaming in pain. They are completely stuck. 

“What the hell is this?!” You shout. “What the hell do you want?!” You think back to Billie, to her words, “Make sure to run.” Now did seem like a good time to listen. You hesitantly obey her request and run out of the library, leaving the boys under the control of the alpha and omega ass himself. Whatever he was doing to the boys was not good. What did he mean by broken characters? And trying to revisit them? You ask too many questions you don’t want answers to.

“In the one corner,” Chuck continues to say as you keep running down the halls with your sword in hand, “we have standing at 6’1... weighing 190 pounds... he’s got the blade… he’s got the spirit... the demon himself… Dean Winchester!”

Demon Dean. You’re screwed.

“And in the other corner… an angel of the Lord… as tall as the Chrysler building and as heavy as several tons… it is… the insane… the odd… the crazy… Castiel!”

Castiel when he was insane. How could this get worse.

“In our last and final corner… hovering over others at 6’4… weighing 220 pounds… you know him… you love him… straight from the depths of hell… we have… Soulless Sam!”

It got worse.

A wrestling match bell begins to ring as you can hear movement throughout the bunker. “Crap,” you mumble. You don’t know where to go. You don’t know what to do. You take your sword and go to hide in the archives as you run past it. If this was Chuck’s play to screw with the guys and mess with your head, he was succeeding. Having a hunger games match right here in the bunker between the worst versions of his toys, a perfect game for a psychopath to play. You hoped or tried to think that to somehow revert the boots back into their past states was impossible but you were dealing with God. And apparently God can do just about anything. You take a deep breath as the bell stops ringing.

The lights turn red. The halls of the bunker fall silent. You think about running to the dungeon. It will protect you from one, but what of the others? What could protect you from them? Your heartbeat pounds faster. The sound echoes in your head. Shivers continue to be sent down your spine. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Goosebumps cover your arms. “You’ve got to be shitting me,” you curse as your eyes adjust to the dim lighting and you see the silhouette of a man.

“Y/n?” The voice calls out as it walks closer to you.

“Get back!” You shout as you hold up your sword. The man moves away to the corner, cowering in fear. It catches you off guard. You move closer to him. “Castiel?” You ask as you see your angel curled up into a ball on the floor.

Crazy Cas. Of course.

“Cas,” you continue as you kneel down beside him, “we need to go. We need to go now!” You take one look at him and know that you are in some serious shit. The lights keep flashing red and the sound of your heartbeat becomes almost unbearable. This was serious chaos.

“I c--can’t!” He replies. He looks terrified. Even more so than he already was. You remember when he was insane. How broken and scared he was. Not his best time. You couldn’t even try to break through to him back then and you certainly have less of a chance to now.

“Cas, we need to go. You need to come with me and we need to go. If we stay in here, they’ll find us!” You start to raise your voice again causing Cas to tremble. “Oh, come on!” You let out in frustration. “Listen to me,” you say with a softer tone, “we really need to get out of here. You understand that, right?” Cas nods his head. “Good. That’s good.”

“But I can’t,” he replies with a broken voice. You know that he must be seeing some Lucifer vision in his head. After all, that’s why he was crazy in the first place. But now for him to learn that God was doing this to him, you don’t blame Cas for being scared. Back then when he took on Sam’s pain, that was a bold move. But for God to bring this pain back after everything that’s happened, that was a dick move.

“What do you mean you can’t?” You ask. You wonder if there is just some other cherry on top of this crap sundae. If Jesus were to walk into the room right now, you wouldn’t be surprised. Terrified? Sure. Have you met his dad? But being surprised, that emotion isn’t in the cards for you.

“Every--everything is locked! I can’t fly! I can’t get away!” Cas starts to seemingly hyperventilate. You try to calm him down but it doesn’t work. “I don’t like fighting. I don’t want to fight! I don’t want to fight!” Cas shouts louder than he has before. Loud enough to draw attention.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” you repeat. “Castiel, we need to get the hell out of here!” You grab him by his trench coat and open the door. He is reluctant to let you pull him and tries to resist but you know full and well that he doesn’t stand a chance against the brothers. Neither do you but that’s a different matter.

Right or left.

You look down the halls knowing that a choice like this was a complete 50/50 chance of which Winchester you would run into. You go to the left and rush down the halls all the way back to the library. You and Castiel hide behind some of the shelves. A pile of blood is covering the floor. Looks as if Sam and Dean already got into it once. They can’t die though. They can’t kill each other. Not like this. This isn’t his perfect ending. It’s all too forced. Chuck is doing this for a different reason. What reason?

“Where’s your angel blade?” You whisper to Cas.

“I threw it away,” he answers.

“You thre--” you start to yell but calm yourself. “You threw it away?”

“I don’t want to fight,” he shakes his head. You know that having to babysit him is not something you can do whilst having to run from the brothers. You were just waiting for one of them to come and kill you. It’s really unfair to have to protect someone who would just drop everything and chase after a bee when given the chance.

“Think, think, think,” you repeat to yourself. Trying to find a place to hide Castiel was easier said than done. “Wait,” you say as the answer pops into your head, “come on!” You grab Castiel by his coat again and head to the garage. You stop in your tracks as you hear footsteps. 

Demon or soulless. Both are bad. Both are mad.

“Shh,” you say to Cas as you hide on the other side of the wall. You wait til the footsteps leave before you sprint for it. You tuck your sword in the back of your belt. “Come on!” You order Cas. The two of you arrive in the garage and you try to find Baby.

“What are we doing here?” Castiel asks as you race over to Baby and open the trunk.

“We,” you pull Cas into the trunk, “are giving you a place to hide.”

“What if they find me?” He asks frantically.

“Well, if Dean does, he’ll get trapped. And I’m not sure Sam can without having the key. You’re as safe as you can be in here.” He looks at you terrified. “It’s gonna be fine Cas!” You say with a smile. You slam the trunk as quietly as possible. “Everything’s perfectly fine,” you reassure yourself. You go over and hide the car keys in the rims of another car.

You hear footsteps again.

“Shit.” You run out of the garage and try to think of anything you can do. You remember passing by Dean’s room and all his weaponry is gone. Same thing in the library. And the same thing everywhere else. Looks like Chuck wanted you to each only have one weapon. Even then, it’s definitely not a fair fight. You just have a sword. You continued to race down the halls praying, to someone, that something would come to mind. You couldn’t kill the boys. And you didn’t have the strength to knock them out with one blow. If you were given the chance, you sure as hell wouldn’t be given it a second time. You have no clue what the hell to d--

“Hiya, honey.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. The color in your face went away. You were too terrified to run, too terrified to scream, and too terrified to fight. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t. The only thing that you could do was hear your heart thumping and hold your breath as he comes closer.

Demon Dean.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with a threatening tone as he brushed your hair from your face and yanked it back. “It’s my eyes, isn’t it?” He asked. You looked at his once emerald eyes and saw that they were black. They were completely black. You remained frozen in fear. He held the first blade up to your throat. It already had a small trace of blood on it. Soon to be some more. He leaned in close and then closer and then only an inch or two away from your face. “I’ve been looking for you,” he says with a truly devilish smile. You can only gulp as he smells your neck. “Talk to me!” He yells.

“Okay!” You say, trembling. “Okay. I’m listening. I’m talking.” You shut your eyes and turn your head just a tad to look away. He’s so close to you.

“Nu-uh, sweetheart,” he says as he turns your head back to him. “Let me see those pretty eyes, baby.” You keep your lids closed. You can feel the blade go into your neck. You can feel it slice through your skin just under your jaw. You open your eyes knowing that resistance is not an option. “Good girl.” he smiles at you and moves in close. He puts his lips on yours and you keep yours shut. He continues to kiss you and then makes another incision in your skin. You take a deep breath and start to kiss him back. He pulls your head back as he starts to make out with you more aggressively, kissing your neck, sliding his tongue in and out of your mouth. You continue to kiss him back as a tear falls down your face. 

“Dean?” You ask as you can no longer stand frozen in fear. “Dean?” You say again, trying to gain some strength. “Please…”

“Please, what?” Dean asks with a grin as he continues pulling your head closer to him and letting his lips all over your skin. You can’t take this. You were terrified. You remember when Dean was a demon so long ago. It was scary then but at least you had Sam and Cas. This time, it was you. It was just you and Dean.

“Please stop.” Another tear falls down your face. Dean moves his mouth away from you and looks at you in the eyes. He lets the blade rest at his side and moves his other hand from behind your neck to the side of your face. He gently wipes the tears from your face with his thumb. He smiles at you. You stare in his dark eyes, scared for your life.

“Oh, baby,” he says almost too sweetly, “I’ll stop… when I want to stop!” He shouts as he quickly brings his blade up to slit your throat. You duck down before he gets the chance. You bring up your sword to his side and cut up in the pit of his arm, causing him to take a few steps back. “No!” he shouts as you make a run for it. 

You are quicker than him. He and you both know that if you get a head start, there’s no way he can catch up to you.

In fear of having Dean on your trail, you head to the dungeon. He can’t step inside the devils trap unless he wants to get trapped himself. You lock the door behind you and move the fake wall, stepping inside the circle. All you can do is hide.

You wipe the blood from your neck and try to wipe off all of where his lips were. It wasn’t Dean. You knew he would never do that. It just bothered you because at the same time, it was Dean. It was Dean who almost cut your throat so deep that you would’ve died in an instant. You wipe the tears from your face and take a deep breath. “This can’t last forever,” you say, trying to calm yourself. “They can’t die, Cas is hidden, all that’s left is--” You stop. All that’s left is you. Once again you wonder what Chuck’s plans for you are. Maybe this is his way of killing you. By having the boys do it and leaving them lost afterwards. You knew you meant a lot to them. You’ve spent years with them. You were family. What the hell was Chuck trying to do? Trying to accomplish? This was random. This was sick. This was so sick. Yet, you expect nothing less from the big “G.”

You spend several more minutes trying to regain yourself in the dungeon. If Dean didn’t want to kill you before, he did now. Especially after you cut him. You start to stand up and brush yourself off, trying to come up with a plan. Any plan. You didn’t have any other weapons. It’s not like you could go in the kitchen and just cook up some holy water. 

The door opens.

Cons: Dean has found you. Pros: You could trap Dean. Both seem to require an amazing feat of skill from you. You hear footsteps come closer to you and watch as the false wall opens up. You take a deep breath and get a better grip on your weapon. You see him. He wears a grin on his face that just causes your heart to skip beats.

“Hi, Y/n.”

Soulless Sam.

Just when you manage to calm down, your heart starts to pump up again. You had your mind on Dean that you forgot about the other brother. Figures. Sam turns around and puts back together the fake wall, trapping you in the room with him. The only way out is through. And the only way through might involve you getting killed. You walk around the outskirts of the ring as Sam does the same. He walks so unnaturally with such a creepy smile on his face.

“I thought I’d find you in here,” He says with an extremely calm and relaxed tone. His whole presence is unnerving. It’s scary. Nightmarish. You continue to walk along the circle. “Let me guess,” he says, loosely pointing his knife at you, “you were expecting someone else. Weren't you?” He smiles.

“I guess,” you respond, careful to not try and resist conversation like you did with Dean. Soulless Sam was irrational. He didn’t really have a gal like Dean did. He was a complete oddball that set off every red flag you had.

“You seem tense,” he says matter-of-factly. “You look… scared.” He giggles, amused. He was the complete opposite of Sam.

“I am,” you reply abruptly. He stands still and you stop walking. You stare into his lifeless eyes. He’s emotionless. Robotic. The perfect definition of pure insanity. No remorse, no nothing.

“Listen, Y/n, we both know what's gonna happen here. So let’s just have it happen.” He chuckles a bit.

“What exactly is supposed to happen?” You question cautiously. You know what he wants. All you can do is try to hold it off.

“Oh, wow,” he smiles, “you really are dumb. Huh, “ he laughs. “Well, what’s going to happen is I’m going to kill you.”

“Why?” You ask trying to stall your demise for as long as you can.

“Because I can and it’s just so… so…” he tries to find the words, “...easy. It’s just so easy.” he smiles at you and combs his fingers through his hair. “Shall we?” He starts to walk towards you and you walk around a room. He backs you into a corner and tries to cut your face with his blade. You put your hand up in defense and end up with a large slit in it. He continues to try and carve into you as best as he can while you keep running around the confined space. “Are you really just gonna keep racing around the whole time?” He asks. “That’s not very fun.” He gets in front of you again and you step on his foot, knee his crotch, and slice his torso and arm. He grabs your waist and pulls you in bringing his knife to your heart. You drop the sword and struggle to push his arm away. “So close,” he says as he licks his lips in the anticipation of your death. 

“No!” you plead with him as you use all your strength against his arms. You drop down causing the knife to go into his stomach from the build up of pressure.

“You little skank!” He says as he pulls the knife out of him and lunges with it towards you. You have nothing to protect you other than the sword that’s across the room. You do all you can to take the blade out of his grasp. You kick, punch, and hit everything you can. You manage to twist the knife from his hand and slide it across the room. He then puts you in a headlock. “I don’t need the knife to kill you,” he says, trying to regain his breath. “In fact, I think I’d prefer snapping your neck with my hands.” He laughs and pulls you by your head off of the ground. You start to choke but he only laughs and smiles. “You smell good. I bet you taste even better!” He starts to lean his head down, licking your lips and skin. “Tasty!” You try to get air but with no prevail.

The door opens again.

Sam’s grasp loosens as he turns to see who's joining the party. You slip from his hold and fall to the floor. You take in the sight before you. Most likely the last thing you’ll ever see.

Demon Dean and soulless Sam.

You back into a corner. You can’t win. You can’t even fight it. This is where you die. Sam looks at Dean and Dean tucks the first blade back behind his belt. They smile at each other. Even as monsters, they still have the same ideas. Dean bends down and goes close to you. You are bloodied, bruised, and soaked in saliva and tears. Dean puts his hands on your face. You move it away but he immediately pulls you back and close to him.

“You got away from me,” he says with a smile. “You hurt me.” His voice was demonic. It was wrong.

“She hurt me too,” Sam adds. He bends down to your level alongside Dean. He brushes your hair back. “What are we gonna do with you?” He smiles.

“I have a few ideas.” Dean’s smile paralyzes you as the two of them pick you up and chain you up to the shackles on the wall. “See,” Dean says as he grabs the weapons from the floor, “what you did, cannot go unpunished, Y/n.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Sam takes the sword from Dean as they both start  to roll up their sleeves. “It really can’t.”

“But the good thing is, we know just how to punish you.” Dean gets close to your face and makes a cut into your cheek with the demon blade. 

“I,” Sam says as he takes the sword and cuts through your shirt, ripping it open. Dean removes all of your layers except your undergarments which have been left, covered in blood and cuts. Sam soon starts to caress your body and push at all the bruises. His hands rub and scratch your skin all over. You grit your teeth and hinge your jaw. You can’t do anything. Your chained up and in the clutches of the two monstrosities that still haunted you to this day. “I learned torture from the devil. And Dean here…”

“I learned torture from Alistair. In fact,” Dean cuts at an already open wound causing you to flinch, “I’m pretty good at it.” You can do nothing.

The boys smile as they continue to cut and carve into your skin. Occasionally one of them will start to kiss your neck. You can do nothing but cry and whine. It hurts so bad and you can’t even scream. It’s useless. They keep touching you, kissing you, cutting you. It was vile and disgusting. All you see are the faces of Dean and Sam. Your mind can no longer realize that the men in front of you, aren’t the boys. All you can feel is pain. So. Much. Pain. 

Dean starts to carve his own name into your chest. Each letter feels more intense as the rough and coarse edge of his blade penetrates your skin. He doesn’t let up as Sam starts to nibble at your neck. He moves his hands all over you, leaving nothing untouched. They switch the roles of cutting and carving as Sam takes his demon blade and marks the sides of your waist. Dean takes you and moves you closer to him. He takes his hands and dips them in your bloody wounds. He then licks his fingers as your blood smears his lips. Sam takes the hilt of the sword to see how deep it will go into your skin.

“Pl... “ you start to say, “Please… stop…” Your crying and begging do nothing but bring a mad look to their face. Sam comes close to your face, his lips right next to your ear.

“No,” he whispers to you. You can hear his grin. In a split second, he takes his hand and puts it on your head, gripping your hair and bringing it forward only to instantly slam it back into the wall.

------ ------ ------

You sit up and gasp. You take deep breaths and look at yourself. You’re perfectly fine. No scars, no cuts. You take notice of your surroundings. You weren’t in Kansas anymore. It was a new place yet somehow familiar. You stand up and search the area. It looks completely empty for a place so big. No people, only books. Thousands and millions of little black books. You knew exactly where you were now. You remember Dean telling you about his time in the library. Death’s library.

“About time, Y/n,” Billie said from behind a desk. You stop and turn around the corner to where she is. You face drops.

“I’m dead?” You ask.

“Not quite,” she responds, signaling for you to sit down. You reluctantly take a seat in the chair across from Death. “You’re very close to death,” she continues. “Close enough for us to be chatting right now. But no. You are not dead. And good job for not getting yourself killed.” You stare off at the ground, trying to process everything.

“You warned me,” you state as you lock eyes with her again.

“I did.”

“So, you knew what was going to happen?” This being the fact that Chuck would try and pull a stunt like this. Billie seemed to somehow know everything yet continuously leave you all in the dark.

“A version, yes. This was one of your deaths. It was all written in one of my books.”

“And yet, I’m not dead?” You laugh, unsure if insanity has gotten to you.

“No, and it’s because I warned you. Here’s the thing: I need you alive,” she says. You think about the fact that Death doesn’t want you to die. Those are some odds you can only face in this line of work.

“What was Chuck’s plan?” You ask, trying to find some reason for this series of… events or whatever you could properly label them as.

“I think you know,” she admits. You tilt your head, confused. Billie takes a deep breath. “God wants you off your game. He wants all of you off your game. Messing with you like this is just one way of doing it. That’s all.” She folds her hands on the table. Her answer didn’t help in any way. Not sure if you were expecting it to though. You sit in quietness until you speak up. You both remain silent for another moment. You look around the room. Nothing is happening.

“If you don’t want me dead, then what am I still doing here?”

“I’m waiting for you to ask me,” she replies. Before you can question it, she gives you a look. She really knew everything.

“Why did he not make me crazy like the rest of them?” You ask. Billie stands up from behind her desk and walks towards you. 

“You don’t want to know the answer. But,” she pauses, “God wanted you to know.”

“So why is it?” You ask again. You really don’t want to know the answer. You can feel the instant regret. But you know it will eat you alive if you never find out.

“God didn’t make you broken like the rest of them,” Billie says. She takes a seat on top of her desk and looks down at you. “It’s because you already are. This was his way of crushing you. He already crushed the others, but this, this was all just for you.” Her words pierced your heart. You were already broken. You were your worst version. It wasn’t being possessed by an angel or some demon that made you broken. Just being you was as broken as you could get.  “Don’t give him what he wanted, Y/n. Don’t let him have that victory.” You look up to her. “Goodbye, Y/n. See you soon.”

------ ------ ------

You struggle to take a deep breath. Your fear and pain return to you. You feel all the cuts and blood dripping down you. You open your eyes and see them. “No! Please, no!” you shout out with the remainder of your strength. Sam and Dean rush over to you but you put your hands in front of your face in defense. “No! No!” You keep crying out.

“Hey!” You hear Sam call. “Hey, Y/n? It’s us, okay?” He tries to pull your arm away from your face but you just scream at him. 

“It’s us!” Dean continues. He tries to touch you and move you but you just kick and yell at him. “It’s us!”

“No! Get away! Get away!” You cry. They step back and you curl up into a ball on the bed trying to protect yourself. You continue to close your eyes as tears stream down your face, cooling the bruises and your hot temperature. 

“Y/n,” you hear Castiel say. “Y/n, calm down.” He sits on the bed with you and tries to pull you from your fetal position. “It’s okay,” he says with a calm voice. You take a breath and try to adjust your bruised eyes on the trench coated celestial in front of you.

“Castiel?” You question as you open your eyes and see the angel. 

“Yes. It’s me. I’m right here.” You start to loosen your body and Castiel opens your limbs back up and away from your stomach before causing you more pain.

“Cas!” You call out as you start to sob. “Cas!” You can’t help but break down. You were in so much pain. 

“I’m here, Y/n.” He puts his hands on you, wherever there aren't wounds, to comfort you. “It’s okay.” You just continue to sob for several minutes as Castiel tries to reassure you that you are safe and okay. “It’s alright.” After a while, you try and sit up. Cas stays by your side and continues to comfort you. You were in the infirmary. You had gauze and patches all over your body. You only had your blood stained undergarments and several blankets on top of you. 

“What--What happened?” You question as you try and wipe the tears from your face. He takes a deep breath and you notice his watery eyes and saddened look.

“Sam and Dean,” he says cautiously. You flinch a bit at the sound of their names. “Sam and Dean, they found me in the Impala. After they thought they killed you and were unconscious, Sam got his soul back and Dean got cured. They brought you in here and tried to find me, normal, non insane me, to heal you. I was unable to do it all because my powers aren’t working well but I did what I could. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do more, Y/n.” A tear falls from Castiel’s eyes and you try to stop yourself from crying even more. You could tell that seeing you bused up like this wasn’t easy. Especially knowing how guilty he must feel for not being able to do anything.

“It--It’s okay, Cas,” you say with a smile. “You did what you could.” You try to chuckle but your chest hurts so bad that you can’t manage it. You didn’t want to see him sad or hurting. You couldn’t see yourself but you know that it isn't an easy view for him. You try to cover yourself better in the blankets but wince at the movements.. 

“Please don’t strain yourself,” he requests. He gives you a comforting smile.

“I know. I got it. Um, so you all are back to normal then?” You say as you try to get into a more comfortable position on the bed.

“Yes, we are,” he answers hesitantly. He looks to the ground as if knowing what you were going to ask.

“Where are they?” You could hear the worry in your voice. You were afraid but you needed to know that they were okay too. You know that they couldn’t be in any worse shape than you but then again, seeing you like this might've been just as hard for them as it is for Castiel.

“Outside,” he answers cautiously and gives you a look of concern.

“I want to see them, please.” You take a deep breath.

“Are you sure?” He asks. You bite your lip but nod. “Okay.” He gets up and walks out of the room. You wipe the tears from your face and try to calm down. You hear a faint arguing outside. Your ears are too busted and swollen to be able to make out any distinction. Soon enough, you hear the trudging footsteps of the brothers as they walk inside. Your heart rate rises. It’s just Sam and Dean. It’s just Sam and Dean, you have to repeat yourself.

Just Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean. That’s all.

You watch as the brothers come into your view. Your lip starts to tremble. You see the red eyes that they both have. Tears are streaming down their face. It’s as if someone is trying to drain their eyes. Dean takes one look at you, puts his hand to his mouth, then turns around, unable to look at you. Sam rubs his face, trying to see if this just looks worse than it is because of the water layer covering his eyes. They stand far from you in the infirmary. Both of them have a minimal amount of cuts covering them. You were thankful they weren’t any worse. Sam just stares at you for as long as he can as he continues to shake. You take a deep breath as Dean turns around. “I--” He tries to say but is unable to get the words out. You close your eyes. You can’t look at them. They can’t look at you either. You can hear as Dean’s voice trembles, trying to speak.

“I’m so sorry,” he lets out in a huff, unable to hold in any of his tears. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.” You shut your eyes tight. You know Dean is beating himself up. Killing himself. He did this to you. That’s what he thinks. He won’t believe that this wasn’t really his doing. You can hear him start to sob. 

“Y/n?” Sam speaks up. You can hear the worry and fear in his voice. You open your eyes and look at him. His face is puffy and red. Covered in continuous tears. “Y/n,” he takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for what I--what I--what I did to you.” You look down at your body. The lingering of their lips remained staining your neck and face. The cuts covering you are filled with pain and hurt. Your lip starts to quiver, tears start to fall. Dean starts to come close to you but stops. He wants to help you. He wants to hold you and tell you that everything is okay. He can’t. He can’t kiss you on the top of your head without you feeling his kiss everywhere else. You wish that you could feel Sam’s protective grip around you. You can’t. Not without being reminded of the headlock he held you in.

“Sam?” You say, with a crack in your voice. “Dean?” You sniff and wipe the tears from your face. The brothers look to you. You exhale in the sound of a little chuckle. Your bloody and bruised lips form a half hearted smile. “It… it’s okay,” you say, trying to give some comfort. Dean just looks up and bites his lip. Sam stares at you and your scars as he imagines cutting into you, unable to forget. “It’s okay,” you say again. Dean looks at you and comes over quickly. He stops before he gets to close and just sits on the edge of the bed. He struggles with putting his hand on you, to comfort you. He leans down on his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again with a strained tone. Sam walks over and takes a seat on the chair next to you.

“It’s not okay.” Sam wipes his tears again. “We know--we know that it’s not. It’s not okay what we did to you.”

“Sam,” you say, trying to interrupt him from causing himself even more burdens to bear.

“No,” Dean says, “no. Just… we um, we found a hospital a couple miles from here that Cas will take you to. After that, we’ll get you a motel room until you decide where you want to go.” Dean clears his eyes and looks at you. “You’re gonna be okay.” He tries to smile. “Cas will visit and take care of you and the best part is, you never have to see our ugly mugs again.” He laughs a little trying to ease the tension.

“But I--” You try to speak up before Sam cuts you off.

“You don’t have to worry about us, Y/n. We can deal with this stuff on our own. We’ll be fine without you,” Sam says, trying to convince you. You closed your eyes and realized that they were so affected by what they did to you that they were just fine with never seeing you again. You didn’t want that though. They were your family.

“It wasn’t you,” you say to the boys. You open your eyes and sit up, looking at them. “I know it wasn’t you. I know that you didn’t mean to do anything. I talked with Billie.”

“What?” Dean asks.

“When you um, I mean,” you struggle to form the right words without causing any unwanted pain on the brothers, “when I almost died, I was able to speak with Billie in her library.”

“You,” Sam clears his throat, “you almost died?” He asks. Another tear drips down his face as you nod. “What did she say?”

“She told me that this was all a part of Chuck's plan,” you admit.

“His plan?” Dean questions. “This was all just some stupid plan?” His anger rises. “What was he trying to do?!”

“He, um, he wanted to mess with me.” You look back at Dean and he turns his head down. You look at Sam and he does the same. “This was just some game to mess with me. That’s all.”

“‘That’s all?!’ That--” Dean starts to say, stopping himself before he can yell. “He’s gonna pay for this,” Dean says with a grim tone. You try to sit up and move in your bed a bit but halt once you feel your chest start to hurt. “What is it?” Dean asks, concerned.

“Nothing,” you reply. You don’t want him or Sam to see what they did to you. You pull the blanket over you even more.

“Y/n,” Sam says sincerely, “please? We’ll be alright. We just want to see.” You look into Sam’s puppy eyes. You know that they won’t be okay but you nod anyway. You slowly pull the blanket down, showing your chest and stomach. The wrap that was put on your chest was slowly falling off.

“Come on,” Dean said with a light hearted tone as he signaled for you to let go of it. He gave you an annoyed look and you hesitantly let it fall. Dean took one look and turned his head away. He took a deep breath then came back to look at you. He nodded as to reassure himself. “May I?” He asked, seeing if you would allow him to wipe some of the blood away.

“Yeah,” you said. You looked down and saw what was there. It was his name. Dean’s face had a stone cold expression on it that was unwilling to waiver. You could tell that he was doing everything he could to not break down. It was his name. In his hand writing. On your chest. “Are you okay, Dean?” You asked him as he became more reluctant to try and tend to your wounds.

“Um, yeah,” he nodded his head. “I’m just uh, I’m gonna just go get some alcohol.” He smiled at you and Sam. “Be right back,” he says with an unconvincing happy tone. Sam watches as Dean leaves and he looks at you. He notices your right hand and how it's covering your side. He knows what it is hiding. You can tell just by looking at his face. He locks eyes with you. 

“Dean, um, should be back in just a minute,” he struggles to say. You know that he can’t deal with the fact that you are trying to cover up the wound that he gave to you by pushing the hilt of the sword into you. He looks at the ground and you look off in the distance. “Are you… are you okay?” He asks. You give him a confused look. “I mean, me, Dean, and Cas all kind of got… transformed. And I was just wondering if anything happened to you.” He looked at you with concern in his eyes. You didn’t want to tell him what Billie told you. This was something that you couldn’t deal with.

“No,” you respond. “Nothing happened to me.” You give him a cheap smile.

“Oh. I wonder why,” he says. Dean walks back in the room with Cas as the three of them, mainly Castiel, play doctor on you. They try to bandage the cuts and stitch up the wounds. You can’t help but think the whole time. You think about how Chuck wanted you to break. How he wanted you to be broken. The truth is, you can break what’s been broken, but you can’t change the fact that it's been broken the whole time.

Thank you for reading!

[punkrockgenasiashton]

Critical Role Campaign 1 Ep1-27 Recap

So, a friend of mine recently got into Critical Role and after talking to her about the absolute dumpster fire that is Orion Acaba she found herself unable/uncomfortable watching/listening to episodes with him in it and asked me what happened through the Underdark arc because I told her Orion aside I liked it a lot. So I started writing. And kept writing. And kept writing. And basically below the cut is a pretty in depth recap of everything that happens before Orion leaves the show for anyone who is curious/or have friends who you want to have a more complete Critical Role experience when getting them into Campaign 1

For easy future reference:

Vox Machina=VM=The Party

Vax= Half Elf Rogue

Vex= Half Elf Ranger

Percy= Human Gunslinger

Grog= Goliath Barbarian

Scanlan= Gnome Bard

Keyleth= Half Elf Druid

Pike= Gnome Cleric

Tiberius= Dragonborn Sorcerer There might be some color/opinions, but here we go:

Okay, so. The adventures of Vox Machina as we know them start in the city of Kraghammer, a city of dwarves in the northwest area of the country of Taldorie beneath the Cliffkeep Mountains. Kraghammer is a pretty reclusive city, wary of non-dwarves, who are disallowed from entering the city except for official business with the Greyspine Quarry, one of the most prolific mines in Exandria (the world), so as they arrive Vox Machina stick out like sore thumbs. Their mission is to find Lady Kima of Vord, a well known paladin and close friend of Allura Visoren, an  arcanist the party is close to. Kima had gone missing in the Greyspine Mine beneath Kraghammer. After some investigations, the party learned that a whole mess of 'stitch monsters' have been attacking the mines from deeper beneath, and after killing one (a Naga with 2 extra Naga heads stapled on that Scanlan blows up with cock lightening) with the owner of the Greyspine Mines watching  they were granted access to investigate the mines and beneath proper.

The party then stumbles through and finds a small goblin camp/city that had been razed and they find goblins that have had their brains sucked out through a round hole in their head. They then meet my personal favorite NPC maybe ever, Clarota, a feral illithid who had been cut off from his hive because of his ability to use magic (huge taboo in Mindflayer society, apparently). They agree to help Clarota and Clarota agrees to help them to defeat the bbeg who has taken up residence in Clarota's city (Yog Voriel), an entity named K'Varn.

The party then go through a Duargar (Dark Dwarf) War Camp where Vax one shots an illithid using a combination of expert sneaking and goblin shit and they interrogate a duargar general. The  General tells them Kima is being held in the City of Emberhold, the duargar stronghold deeper within the Underdark. At the center of the city is Fortress Emberhold, defended by a magma drip that pours magma over the top of it in such a way that the only way in is through the front door or a secret exit on the left side of the fortress. VM finds a way to open said secret exit, and find Kima being tortured in the dungeons. Kima is grateful for the rescue but is immediately wary that they're working with an Illithid. The party then debates whether they should trust the lawful good paladin and best friend of their ally or the chaotic evil feral illithid, but eventually talk Kima into just letting Clarota hang around until they deal with K’varn.

The party then decide to take out the nobles of Emberhold because it’s become clear that the Illithid and Duargar (who historically hate each other) are working together under this K’Varn and anyone who works with them is a threat. During the battle they kill the Durgar King but the Queen charms Grog and escapes, blowing the ceiling, attempting to burn VM alive in magma. The party just escape, Vax losing most of his foot to the lava.

Keyleth and Kima have a very serious argument about whether it’s the party’s place at all to be involved down here. Keyleth pointing out that A. they’ve murdered a lot of potentially mind controlled people and lost Grog in their attempts to rescue Kima and B. before they’d entered the underdark they’d never heard of K’Varn so who are they to be inserting themselves in the conflict? Kima arguing that K’Varn has a power that will allow them to take the surface over and it’s their responsibility to stop them and take that power away from an obviously evil creature. The party eventually agrees with Kima’s argument that even if it wasn’t their place before it is their responsibility to stop K’Varn.

The party track down the Durgar queen, regain Grog, and while Vex is interrogating the queen the queen’s mind is taken over by K’Varn who taunts the party, inviting them to the temple he has taken residence in,  before killing her. The party then moves further into the underdark, through a sea of bone that tries to eat anyone who touches it, where they do battle with another stitch monster, this time an impossibly fast elf with tentacles for arms and legs. They then finally reach the Illithid city of Yog Voriel, an ancient ruin they’d taken over within a fungal forest surrounded by a giant lake. Investigating the lake the party finds a shipwreck Percy and Tiberius repair and go sailing around the island looking for a potential back entrance to K’Varn’s temple. They find some caves, investigate, get chased by a cloaker (giant bat) on the water.

They decide to take a rest on the shores to the north of Yog Voriel where Keyleth decides to attempt to scry on K’Varn, to find out where in the tempe they are and to finally find out what they are. The scrying reveals that K’Varn is a beholder with a strange horn attached to their head. After some discussion it’s worked out that the horn is one of two “Horns of Orcus” Orcus, an evil god of undeath, his horns make the holder/wearer a somewhat avatar of Orcus himself, crazy but also incredibly strong with necrotic power.

The following morning the party sail to the island Yog Voriel is on and find a formorian (an evil giant) and mind control him. Then, after a lot of planning, and a lot of bullshit by Tiberius because Orion metagamed a ton (the party in character had never heard of a beholder but Tiberius openly refused to set foot in the temple because Orion knows that Beholders lairs are dangerous as fuck), the party decides to drop the mind controlled giant from the top of the cavern through the glass ceiling of the temple, destroying a device that kept the Illithid under K’Varn’s power by trapping the Illithid hive’s Elder Brain.

Fight ensues, Tiberius true to his word doesn’t enter the temple and doesn’t help with the fight at all, Vex gets the final kill on Living K’Varn. During the fight K’Varn used a petrify ray to turn Kima into stone.Then, using the Horn, K’Varn rises as a zombie beholder. Tiberius gets the final kill on Zombie K’Varn. Claorota double crosses the party, and the Illithid attack Vox Machina as they escape using a teleportation circle that takes them back to their home city of Emon.

VM returns to Emon late at night and decides to go on a bar crawl with their stone Kima. (It should be noted here, in case you’re concerned, over the past couple days, using some really high rolls and homebrewing, Pike has been slowly healing/regrowing Vax’s foot and finally finishes doing it after about 5 days in game when they get back to Emon). After some debating the party decides while it’s not necessarily prudent, it’s necessary to inform the rest of the council of Emon as well as Emperor Uriel Taldorei himself about the Horn of Orcus they plucked from the dead K’Varn. After that discussion they unstone Kima.

Before the meeting starts Emperor Uriel asks a messanger to make sure a Lord and Lady Briarwood are made to know about something trivial. The mention of the Briarwoods sends Percy into what looks like a silent panic attack that everyone else misses.  During the meeting, it’s decided that the Horn is unsafe in Emon and Emon is unsafe as long as it’s there and that it should be brought across the sea to the West to the city of Vasselheim. Vasselheim is basically the Vatican, Mecca, Jerusalem, and Mahabodhi all rolled into one. It is the high religious city of every major good and lawful god in the civilized world, and there, the Horn would be locked away under the eye of the Platinum Sanctuary, the largest and oldest temple to Bahamut in the world and kept safe by Highbearer Vord (Kima’s...master? The head of her order of Paladin). Following the meeting Percy asks the Emperor about his correspondence with Lord and Lady Briarwood, Percy explaining that the Briarwoods are old friends of his family and asks to be kept updated on the Emperor’s correspondence with them, and that if they’re in the city to please let him know. As Vox Machina are members of the council, this is totally acceptable to the Emperor

Before the trip, during a few days of downtime, Vax goes on a date with the party’s favorite shop keeper, Shaun Gilmore. This isn’t really important but you should know the name Gilmore because he’s an essential NPC who crops up a lot, and Vax’s relationship with him becomes important later, so it should be known that they have a quasi-dating relationship. (It should also be noted that they’re not really dating and there’s a whole lot of subtext and lowkey stuff that points to the idea that Vax is also interested in Keyleth)

On the way to Vasselheim on a skyship the party is harried by wyvern riding pirates. Keyelth turns a Wyvern into a Chicken using polymorph at 500 feet up, one of the best kills in the show imo. While in Vasselheim, following the sealing of the Horn, Grog has a fight in a fighting pit known as the Crucible, losing just barely to the standing champion, an half orc named Kern. Also while in Vasselhiem, because she’s played by Ashley Johnson and Ashley lives on the east coast most of the year, Pike is called to rebuild a temple to her god, Sarenrae and leaves the party. The city wall closest to them is then attacked by a hydra. Vox Machina goes, hunts down the hydra, and kills it. While fighting it another party comes and claims VM are “scags” taking their contracted kill.

Once the Hydra is dead it is discovered that within Vasselheim there is a hunters guild known as the Slayers Take and the hydra was a quarry of theirs and by killing it without a license VM had broken the laws of Vasselheim and they’re given the choice between either joining the guild and retroactively killing the hydra for the Take or face trial. They choose to join the Take. I highly recommend trudging through Orion during the Trials of the Take episodes because it’s basically a 4 parter where the party is split (so Orion’s only in 2!) and they have a couple of really good guests in. (Including Wil Wheaton, Will Friedel (Eric from Boy Meets World), and Felcia Day.) Following the trial they are introduced to the true leader of the Slayers Take by Huntmaster Vanessa Syndriol of the take (basically the second in command), a sphynx named Osisa. It’s also revealed that the Take is a  quasi-religious order dedicated to Ioun, the Goddess of Knowledge and Osisa watches the world through a type of Scrying Eye. 

After the Trial of the Take Mini Arc the party takes a trip to the village of Pyrah, a few days travel from Vasselheim and located in a semi-active volcano. To condense a lot of information into a very short bit: Keyleth is a member of a tribe known as “The Ashari,” The Ashari are broken into 4 clans (Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire) and spread throughout the world to defend parts of it where the elemental planes bleed over into the prime material, every generation a member of each clan goes on a pilgramage known as the Aramente to be tested by the other clans to become the headmaster of their clan. Keyleth is Air Ashari and is on her Aramente to become the leader of the Air Ashari because the last person to attempt it, Keyleth’s mother, had never returned, leaving her father as acting headmaster. Pyrah is home to the Fire Ashari, and the party accompanies Keyleth on her trial. They go to the Fire Elemental Plane where they evade an ancient red dragon (foreshadowing for much later, remember this dragon) that would have decimated the party, and then fight the headmaster of the Fire Ashari, Cerkonos, and 3 other fire ashari while the ashari and Cerkonos are beast shaped into fire elementals.

Following that Grog has a rematch with Kern, beats him, and the party returns to Emon where they are informed the Briarwoods will becoming to Emon for a feast with the Emperor and because of Percy’s request and the party’s standing as council members they are given an invite. Once the party returns to their own keep, known as Greyskull Keep, Percy reveals that the Briarwoods murdered his entire family and took over his ancestral home of Whitestone, and the reason he is Lord Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Kollowski De Rolo III is because he is the rightful Lord of Whitestone.

Again, even though Orion is in them I really recommend watching Episodes 24-26 because 24 and 25 are very plot important and 26 is just hysterical, skip episode 27 (Orion’s last episode and generally considered by many a very uncomfortable watch due to Orion making a very off color comment about Laura (Vex) giving him (Tiberius) a boner and Travis (Laura’s IRL husband) being livid about it) and then watch from episode 28 onward and you’re right near the start of what’s lauded as the best arc of the series.

[pinestripes]

Favorite Moments from TAZ: Balance, in No Particular Order

(I’ve been wallowing in my grief over finishing Balance for a bit now, and I thought I could make a tribute by listing some of my favorite moments from the campaign! It should be noted that there will be SPOILERS AHEAD and that some quotes might be paraphrased slightly. Also, I haven’t listened to the liveshows yet.)

The guys’ delighted laughter as Griffin reveals that Barry’s back.

Actually, every time they have big reactions to his reveals. The sheer dumb confusion and then the whooping and clapping when the first loop in the Eleventh Hour happens. Justin’s quietly horrified reaction to finding out Lup made the Umbra Staff. Clint’s confused laughter and incredulous “Anyone?” when Griffin asks who he summons from the bond engine. 

“I, and a team of other people, created this world.” “Gary Gygax?”

The guys tormenting Jenkins in Murder on the Rockport Limited, after which we find out the guy is a literal murderer (and not, in fact, a “sh*tty wizard”).

The entire exchange at the bottom of the well in the Gerblins arc. “Can anybody levitate?” “I think we just live at the bottom of this well now.”

“No dogs on the moon. They just run right off the damn thing.” "Should you say it, or should I? ...No dogs on the moon!”

“[Stephen] swims around in his tiny bowl. And he loves me.” 

The sheer comedic gold that is the scene where Taako convinces Garfield to give him the sword--the perfect buildup, Griffin’s soul leaving his body as he realizes what’s happening, the other guys losing their minds as they too realize it.

Arms Outstretched, of course. And the sort of reprise of it in the finale. 

Speaking of the finale--I’m a massive sucker for “Hey, the gang’s all here!”-type finales, where everyone we’ve ever met in a series shows up in the end and pays a role. And the TAZ finale does this SO WELL, with the music, and how it always makes sense in what’s happening in the scene. It’s so satisfying. 

“You know we’re going to have to talk about your sister being a lich, right?”

Lup’s introduction. 

Lup’s return, from the long pause, to Justin snapping the staff, to Clint’s “Attaboy!” to “YOU’RE DATING THE GRIM REAPER?”

When the guys all simultaneously respond to the question “What’s the best type of advertising?” with “Word of mouth” in Wonderland after episode after episode of them asking people to and thanking people for telling others about the podcast. 

Killian reacting to Magnus cutting off Merle’s arm.

Magnus eating the Philosopher’s Stone, and Griffin subsequently being adamant that Travis deal with the consequences of his actions.  

The guys starting their second loop in Refuge and immediately messing up so badly that Justin almost has Taako shoot them all and end the loop right there. 

Magnus’s. Pep. Talk.

Lucretia in the Candlenights episode. “Hot diggity sh*t, this is a baller cookie.” “Magnus, this is the nightmare scenario.” “Booyah.”

Taako suddenly deciding stealing is wrong in the Goldcliff Trust. “This isn’t a dungeon; people do business here!”

Merle’s bit about the traveling forward/backward in time 9 seconds in the finale had me laughing so hard I was wheezing and crying. My roommate had to check on me and make sure I was okay.

I love Davenport and his sheer delight at piloting the Starblaster again. “Dance for me, buddy.”

The guys coming up with silly and perfect reporter names and newspaper titles to ask questions at the beginning of The Stolen Century. 

The big, triumphant way Griffin goes “Let’s roll initiative!” in the finale, followed immediately by Mort Garson’s incredible music. 

Everything Angus does ever. 

The scene with Taako teaching Angus magic. “Can--can I get tickets?” “Why don’t you conjure them yourself, Mr. Wizard?”

When, in Reunion Tour, Angus says something about his books and Travis says he loves Angus and Justin says “Precious” in his Taako voice which means IT WAS IN CHARACTER AND CANONICAL. 

Lup freaking apologizing for destroying the macaroons Angus made. 

The Tom Bodett thing is just. So dumb. But so funny. I love it. 

Taako calling Barry “Barrold.” 

Fisher loving the carved wooden ducks is SO CUTE. 

“Griffin, can we please deal with the Fullmetal Alchemist situation I currently find myself in?”

“Who?” goiehioewgasd;

The Junebug scene, with the music, gives me chills. 

“Those are the arms that have held my wife!” 

Merle choosing Lucretia to go with him to the spa in that lunar interlude because it’s so good for character stuff but also is unintentionally heartbreaking when you think about it much later??

Cassidy becoming mayor of Refuge. 

Magnus deciding to break into the BOB’s prison. I’ve never been a DM, but I could feel Griffin’s sheer frustration and exasperation in my very soul.

Okay, no, I actually need to talk about Arms Outstretched. I usually don’t feel much dread or fear when watching/reading/listening to things because I’m like “it’s fictional, no one’s in any actual danger, there’s more books/episodes after this, it’s going to be fine” but this scene made me feel absolutely horrified dread the instant the Animus Bell rang anyway. 

“Taako’s rushing in!” “Magnus follows him?” “Merle’s good out here.” “What’s going on?!”

“Hello, my name is Elder Merle!” THUNK

Magic Brian’s death. “I cast magic missile on him again.”

“Between the fan and the fancy umbrella, I’m one seventeen-inch waist away from being Scarlett O’Hara.”

The tantrum Taako throws when asked to get on the Elevator of Tomorrow in Crystal Kingdom, and of course his subsequent GLEE when Magnus and Merle get attacked after using it. “Taako--that’’s me, hi--I’m done with elevators. Never again! ...Don’t do it, I swear to god. You will not like how this ends. I will burn a spell slot on you. I give no sh*ts.”

Lucas, sadly: “My lab!”

The endless tormenting of Leon. “Yeah, he is no longer functioning. You have thoroughly broken this man.” “I win!”

Justin finding out about Lup’s existence and immediately having Taako call her Lulu. 

“That’s real low [max HP]!” “Is it? Is it, Griffin?”

“See, there’s magic in a bard’s song. They call it inspiration, and it tells the listener what they need to hear right when they need to hear it. And right now, you hear it too. The message in the music heard round the world. You hear Johann’s voice, telling you, ‘You’re going to have to fight. And...you’re gonna win!’”

“Hear that babe? We’re legends.”

“This should go without saying at this point--Taako is DELIGHTED.”

“My name is Magnus Burnsides.” “Marchis Burchsins.” “Yep, nailed it. Got it in one.” 

When Merle has the choice to sacrifice his memories of his kids’ births in Wonderland and immediately decides to take the penalty.

The bit in the second Story and Song where the guys keep putting off getting in the Starblaster and keep having little moments with all the other characters, and Griffin gets so annoyed that he tries to get them to move along using the NPCs. “No, totally. Let’s save the world, then 420 blaze it. Can we gooooo?”

Lucas, also sadly: “I got a splinter.”

“Our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives, and with each moment we spend with those people. But, too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favor of others. And by the time we realize just how important it is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with.”

“Did you enjoy the adventure?” “Of course!”

“Oh, yes, small prophecy is easy. I burp and a small prophecy happen.”

“Let me tell you a story about the time we fought three ogres, and I got punched so hard I almost died. You remember? You were up in some kind of weird laser firing potions willy-nilly, Magnus was pulling the arms off a robot, and I got punched so hard I almost died! I’m not about to throw down with a giant crab while you’re armed with just a terrible Scottish accent, and Travis doesn’t even have his shield! I’m out!” 

“It all started when I met the most beautiful elf, and the bravest cleric...”

“Not all exits are made equal. Some are beautiful, and poetic, and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.”

“I’ll be having my body back, you undead f***.”

“We’ve chosen the perfect person for this. It’s like sending a mildly eloquent piñata in!”

“Let ‘em know, kid.” 

“The late Merle Highchurch rolled a five.”

“You’re going to be amazing.”

...And every single moment that demonstrates what phenomenal entertainers and storytellers the McElroys are. Thank you, guys, for an experience unlike any other. 

[stevensavage]

The Writer’s Game: Demon’s Winter

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve's Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

I continue to analyze what video games I've played provide lessons for writers!  This time, a blast from the long past!

Demon’s Winter was released in 1988, a sequel to Shard of Spring which I never played.  Though it had mixed reviews, I found it to be excellent and replayed it at least three times.  Not only was it a fun game, it had excellent storytelling which provides valuable lessons for writers.

The core of Demon’s Winter is something we’ve seen all too often (more so since the 80’s).  Monsters destroy your village so you inevitably sally forth with a group of diverse characters to fight evil.  Demon’s Winter went beyond the stereotypes with excellent story and setting elements.

Spoilers follow.  Yes, for a game from 1988, but I feel I should say it.

One Step Beyond

The first thing I noticed playing Demon’s Winter was the class (profession) and skill system.  Many games of the time essentially stole from Dungeon’s and Dragons and called it a day.  Another party with a fighter, a mage, a thief, etc.  Demon’s Winter did its own thing while building a setting.

First, gone were many typical generic classes.  Combat characters had to choose between a wilderness-wandering Ranger, a holy Paladin, etc.  Wielders of magic drew their abilities from multiple styles.  There were even two pantheons of gods for religious characters to follow.  Each character could be customized further, adding to the richness.

The manual of the game explained the character choices in detail.  I learned why it was hard for Paladins to learn certain magics - they avoided anything that wasn’t healing (or you paid a lot of skill points).  The two pantheons of gods were described in detail.  The manual helped the setting feel alive and refreshingly different.

For writers, this is a good lesson that you can play with tropes audiences expected while still making them interesting.  Explore the tropes your own way and add your own details and worldbuilding to bring it together.

Say It And Show It

When playing Demon’s Winter, I was pleased to see that places and story elements mentioned came into play.  There was not a pile of generic fantasy names and flummery, but actual things you’d see and deal with.  Something said in passing might be very important later.

My favorite part of this was discovering a seemingly throwaway line about a Dwarven Forge was real.  My party trekked across a strange island and found this hidden place that made weapons.  Needless to say, we left well-armed to fight evil, and I enjoyed the game’s rich continuity that much more.

This is a classic element of writing – foreshadowing, say-it-see it, etc.  But it’s nice to see it well done and in a way that matters.

Shake The World

Fantasy Epics often see the world changed and threatened.  Demon’s Winter was more than happy to break the rules of the setting when the bad guys got busy.

How broken?  The first major plot twist in the game sees the demonic villain of Demon’s Winter murder the gods.

There I am, slightly past the halfway point of the game, when I am informed the gods have been dead.  Clerics and shamans in the party lose their powers and seek out elder deities to get them back.  The impact of that moment stays with me to this day.

Demon’s Winter didn’t stop with deicide.  As your party closes in on the villain, he plunges the world into eternal winter and destroys it.  Cities and towns you relied on are gone, the graphics change, and survival becomes harder.  The game’s final arc takes on a post-apocalyptic bent.

None of these moments felt cheap because they fit the story and the setting.  The world broke in ways both impactful and believable, and I felt those moments.

For writers, it’s a good reminder it’s fine to break things up and shake them up if it makes sense.  Doing that can make the most sense, and it engages your audience. 

End It Well

Finally, I remember Demon’s Winter for the endings.  Once you defeat the big bad, you had two impressive possible endings.

First, you can join with one of the older gods and achieve dietyhood.  This is a nice ending, but the game suggests that your new career may be in danger when evil rises again!  A solid ending with room for a sequel.

The second ending is one that stands out.  If your heroes choose to stay mortal, they each get a different ending based on character class.  Depending on your party composition, you get a different set of stories and a satisfying conclusion for each character.  The team Theif may become a legend while seeking great treasure while the psychic Visionary becomes an advisor to the new ruler.

This second ending added personalization to the ending, drawing the curtain on your adventure in ways that felt real.  You had closure not just on the story, but your characters in a way that gave your tale personal meaning.

Unfreezing Ideas With Demon’s Winter

Demon’s Winter went far for a game, let alone a game from the late 80’s in an genre often filled with derivatives.  It built a world where characters meant something, smashed their world when needed, then gave them personal and satisfying endings.  By embodying these important lessons, it provides an example of how impactful they can be.

Takeaway’s for writers:

You can use tropes, but give them your own twist and the details to make them living and believable.

If you call out or bring something up, it probably should be part of your story later.  That also helps with worldbuilding.

Be willing to shake up or break your world in ways that fit your tale.  Give such things meaning and impact because sometimes you have to shatter expectations to fulfill them.

Make your endings personal so make the characters’ journeys relevant and impactful.  This doesn’t need to be complex, but it should be meaningful.

Steven Savage

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

[spiralstereo]

some oc art

then a cool concept me & @zinxtsukumo had...area zero paldean regional form of houndoom...puposteon

[alexthegamingboy]

Toonami Weekly Recap 3/31/2018 - April Fool's Day Edition

Black Clover EP#16 - Friends (Dubbed): Yuno, Mimosa, and Klaus get close to the treasure chamber in the dungeon. However, a mage from the Diamond Kingdom named Mars gets in their way.

FLCL Alternative EP#01 - Flying Memory: A preview of the upcoming season of FLCL, with only English subtitles. Coming in June.

Mind Game: Nishi is a 20-year-old loser with dreams of becoming a comic book artist. One late evening he runs into his childhood crush, Myon, on the subway. Nishi declares he has always loved her, but she tells him she is due to marry someone else.

They go to her father's yakitori restaurant, and see Myon's father and her elder sister Yan (who runs the restaurant). Nishi also meets Myon's fiancee, Ryo. Two yakuza gangsters enter, Atsu and a senior yakuza whom Atsu calls Aniki (lit. brother. A term used by Yakuza to refer to each other). They are looking for Myon's father, who seduced and stole Atsu's girlfriend, and now hides cowering behind a corner. It is later revealed through flashbacks that the senior yakuza is actually the first boyfriend of the girls' mother, who was also seduced away by her husband during a disco in their youth.

As Atsu threatens Myon with a gun, Ryo steps in and tries to punch Atsu, but instead gets knocked out. Atsu then prepares to rape Myon, who calls out Nishi's name. Atsu turns on Nishi, who is rolled in a ball, terrified, placing his pistol against Nishi's anus. The gun goes off when Nishi suddenly moves, thus killing him instantly. The senior Yakuza, offended by Atsu's lack of control, shoots him dead, and then nonchalantly orders dinner.

Meanwhile, Nishi is in some sort of limbo where he encounters a being whose physical image changes every fraction of a second, Kami-sama (God). Kami-sama directs Nishi to walk into a red portal where he will disappear, but at the last moment Nishi runs for the opposite blue portal in order to return to life. Kami-sama becomes impressed by Nishi's sheer will to live, and so lets him escape.

Nishi returns to the moment just before Atsu pulled the trigger. This time, Nishi seizes Atsu's gun with his buttocks, and shoots him dead. He, Yan and Myon all pile into the yakuza's car, leaving the father and Ryo (still unconscious) behind. They speed off, followed by the massed yakuzas. The Yakuza boss rings (calls) Nishi using the yakuza's car phone and reveals that Atsu was a player on the Japanese national soccer team. Then after further chase the boss has his men force the trio in to a dead end on a bridge. However, Nishi steers the car off the bridge and they are swallowed up by an enormous whale.

Inside the whale, they meet an old man who was formerly yakuza and has been trapped in the whale for more than 30 years. (He is later shown through flashbacks to be the father of the senior Yakuza shown earlier). He shows them to the elaborate suspended house he has constructed over the 'sea' inside the whale's belly. Nishi attempts to escape the whale but he fails and they resign themselves to life inside the whale. Yan practices dancing and art, Myon practices swimming (a dream she gave up when her breasts got bigger), Nishi practices writing and drawing humorous manga and he and Myon finally become sexually intimate.

They attempt to leave the whale, again failing. And the old man reveals that the water level inside the whale is rising, and he believes the whale is probably dying. They concoct a plan to make a motor boat out using spare parts and fuel from the car they arrived in. On the day before the final match of the soccer World Cup, the whale returns to Osaka (their home town) and Yan, Nishi, Myon, as well as the Old Man, manage to escape.

As the four fly through the air, the film returns to its very first scene, with Myon running from the Yakuza, only this time she does not get her leg caught in the door of the train, and the Yakuza is left behind on the platform. This is followed by a lengthy montage, similar to that of the opening credits, showing the histories of the various characters. The movie ends ambiguously, with the phrase "This Story Has Never Ended" appearing before the credits roll.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders: Battle in Egypt EP#31 - Bastet’s Mariah, Part 2 (Subtitled): Joseph and Avdol try to get themselves detached from each other, facing all kinds of embarrassment in the process, only to wind up stuck on a railroad track as a train approaches. Thanks to Magician's Red managing to burn a hole underneath the tracks before they are run over, Avdol and Joseph escape their predicament and continue pursuing Mariah, who they believe has to keep a certain distance from them in order to maintain her Stand ability. Despite being weighed down by an increasing array of metallic objects, Joseph and Avdol confront Mariah in a pincer attack, but are caught in a trap as she sets off several loose power cables that are drawn to their magnetism. However, the duo manage to utilise their magnetism to their own advantage, crushing all of Mariah's bones with their combined weight until she passes out and relinquishes her power. Meanwhile, another Stand user, Alessi, sets his sights on Jotaro, Polnareff, and Iggy.

Hunter x Hunter: The Chimera Ant Arc EP#90 - Interest × And × Curse (Subtitled): The final duel between Gon and Knuckle begins. Just as he promised, Knuckle does not hold back and uses his special technique on him, forcing Gon to look for a way to defeat him as fast as possible. Meanwhile, Killua confronts Shoot, but he also gets himself in a pinch when his old habit to avoid stronger enemies is triggered.

Space Dandy EP#10 - There's Alway's Tomorrow, Baby (Subtitled): The crew of the Aloha Oe makes an emergency landing on Planet Betelgeuse, Meow's home planet. They are taken in by Meow's family for the time being while their spaceship is being repaired. That night, the calendar in Meow's house is struck by a wayward blast of Pyonium energy sparked from a battle between the Gogol and Jaicro Empires, causing the events of that day to endlessly repeat themselves in a time loop. On the 108th loop, the crew of the Aloha Oe finally realizes this, determining that they must tear out Meow's calendar to break the loop. The calendar proves virtually indestructible, so they turn to Meow's metalworker father for help, and he successfully rips off the date with his screw machine, breaking the loop. The crew of the Aloha Oe leave on the newly repaired spaceship, as Meow realizes how much he loves his home planet after reliving it countless times.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG EP#20 (46) - IN: Confusion at the North End – FABRICATE FOG (Subtitled): Section 9 regroups from the firefight, and the body of their dead teammate is airlifted out of Dejima. Desperate for information on where Kuze's plutonium deal would go down, Aramaki pulls some strings and learns that the probable location for such an act would be Etorofu Island. Section 9 is dispatched to the island with the objective of stopping the deal while a request is formally made for a Japanese Maritime Self-Defense Force security net to catch Kuze if he happens to evade capture. On the way to the island, Kusanagi explains that Kuze is very rapidly rising to power, and may eventually become a dictator of sorts if he is not stopped soon; she further explains that the refugees can see and feel what he experiences in real time, which helps him win them over. Upon arriving in Etorofu, Section 9 splits into three units. Batou, Saito, and two Tachikomas head to an abandoned Russian submarine base believed to be the site of the deal, Togusa and the Major go to see a man named Krolden who has helped Kusanagi in the past, and the rest of the team remains with the tiltrotor. Kusanagi discovers that Krolden has been killed by an attack barrier after diving and hacking into something he should not have seen, and when she calls up the records of his dive, she discovers a plan by the Russian mafia to sell plutonium to the refugees for 240 million yen. Kusanagi also uncovers evidence that the Cabinet Intelligence Agency may be pulling the strings behind the deal. Armed with this information, Section 9 sets out to stop the deal. Meanwhile, one of the refugees aboard the boat confronts Kuze over the death of Densetsu, a rapper who served as an inspirational figure to the refugees, at the hands of the Individual Eleven. The man intends to detonate a suicide bomb he has strapped to his body, which will kill Kuze and sink the ship, unless Kuze can explain the purpose for the refugees' trip to Russia. Kuze explains his plan, and ultimately wins over the young man, but when he leaves to conduct the plutonium deal, his group of refugees become involved in a three-way firefight with two SDA-issued armoured suits and Section 9's Tachikomas. Batou catches up to Kuze and the episode ends with him holding Kuze at gunpoint.

[diversegaminglists]

Gore, violence, and body horror warnings.

Still a WIP but fairly comprehensive.

Gore and violence:

7 Days to Die

50 Cent Franchise

Age of Barbarian Franchise

Call of Duty Franchise

Carmageddon Franchise

Counter Strike

Eternal Champions

Domina

Grand Theft Auto Franchise

Hatred

Hitman Franchise

Hotline Miami Franchise

Kingpin: Life of Crime

MadWorld

Manhunt Franchise

Medal of Honour Franchise

Modern Warfare 2

Ninja Gaiden Franchise

PAYDAY Franchise

Pharaonic

Postal Franchise

The Punisher

Sleeping Dogs

Soldier of Fortune

State of Emergency

Super Columbine Massacre RPG

Yakuza Franchise

Body Horror:

Advance Wars: Days of Ruin

Agent USA

Alter A.I.L.A.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs

Ancient Domains of Mystery aka ADOM

Aquaria

Arc Rise Fantasia

Baldurs Gate Dark Alliance II

The Banner Saga Franchise

Beneath a Steelsky

Beyond Good and Evil

Black Rose

Bravely Default

Breath of Fire IV

Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter

Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars

The Crooked Man

Dawn of Mana

Demigod

Disgaea Franchise

Dragon Quest VII

Dwarf Fortress

Ecco the Dolphin

Edna & Harvey: The Breakout

Environmental Station Alpha

Epic Mickey

Evolva

Fallen London

Final Fantasy V

Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy XIII

Ghostbusters: The Videogame

Ghost Master

Guild Wars

Gynoug aka Wings of Wor

Hearthstone

Hello? Hell...o?

ICO

Iji

Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis

Kerbal Space Program

King’s Quest III

Kingdom of Loathing

Kingdom Hearts Franchise

Lands of Lore Franchise

Legend of Legeia

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Little Nightmares

The Longest Journey

The Lost Crown

Manic Mansion

Masters of Orion 3

MediEvil

Megaman Zero 4

Metroid Franchise

Minecraft

Monkey Island Franchise

MOTHER 3

Nexus Clash

Oddworld Franchise

Okami

One Night at Flumpty’s

Overwatch

Pandora’s Tower

Pikmin

Plague Inc.

Pokemon Franchise

Portal Franchise

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Trilogy

Prince of Persia (2008)

Psychonauts

Scott Pilgrim

Scurge: Hive

Shadow of the Colossus

Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri

Slenderman Franchise

Sonic Unleashed

Space Quest IV

Space Quest V

Spooky's House of Jump Scares

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Starcraft Franchise

Star Fox: Assault

Sundered

Sunless Seas

Super Paper Mario

Terraria

Time Splitters: Future Imperfect

TRON 2.0

Warcraft III

We Know the Devil

The Wick

WildStar

World of Warcraft

Xenoblade Franchise

Xenogears

Xenosaga Franchise

Cartoony violence/gore only:

Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior

Brain Dead 13

Deathspank Franchise

Dinocrisis

Haunting Starring Polterguy

Jade Empire

Smash TV

Super Meat Boy (It’s still pretty gross though)

Tomb Raider (Core Design)

Everything (gore, violence, and body horror):

Alien: Isolation

Aliens Vs. Predator Franchise

Alien Swarm

Alone in the Dark Franchise

Amateur Surgeon Franchise

American McGee’s Alice Franchise

Ao Oni Franchise

Aragami

Assassin’s Creed Franchise

Attack on Titan

Baldur’s Gate Franchise

Bastard Bonds

Batman: Arkham Franchise

Batman: Telltale Franchise

Bayonetta Franchise

Beyond: Two Souls

The Binding of Isaac (yes it’s cartoony but it’s also horrifying)

Bioshock Franchise

Blood Franchise

Bloodborne

Bloodrayne Franchise

Body Harvest

Borderlands Franchise

Brütal Legend

Bulletstorm

Bullet Witch

Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth

CarnEvil

Catherine

Chilller

Clive Barker's Jericho

Clive Barker's Undying

Clock Tower Franchise

Condemned Franchise

Corpse Party Franchise

Danganronpa Franchise

Dante’s Inferno

Dark Cut Franchise

Dark Souls Franchise

Darkest Dungeon

The Darkness Franchise

Darkwatch

Dead Island Franchise

Dead Space Franchise

Dead Rising Franchise

Demonbane

Destroy All Humans! Franchise

Deus Ex Franchise

Devil May Cry Franchise

Diablo Franchise

Dishonored Franchise

Doom Franchise

Dragon Age Franchise

Drakengard Franchise

Duke Nukem Franchise

Dungeons Franchise

The Elder Scrolls: Franchise

Eternal Darkness

The Evil Within Franchise

Evolve

E.Y.E.: Divine Cybermancy

Fable Franchise

Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy

Fallout Franchise

Farenheit: Indigo Prophecy

Fatal Frame/Project Zero Franchise

Fate Franchise (The visual novels, not the RPG)

F. E. A. R. Franchise

Five Nights at Freddy’s Franchise

Gears of War Franchise

Genji Franchise

God of War Franchise

Godhand

Grim Fandango

Gyossait

Half-Life Franchise

Halo Franchise

Harvester

Haunting Ground aka Demento

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream

Heavenly Sword

Heavy Rain

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice

Higurashi: When They Cry

House of the Dead Franchise

Illbleed

inFamous Franchise

INSIDE

Jurassic Park: The Game

Kara no Shoujo (The Girl in the Shell)

Killzone Franchise

The Last Door

The Last of Us

Left 4 Dead Franchise

Legacy of Kain Franchise

The Letter

LIMBO

Lollipop Chainsaw

Mad House

Mass Effect Franchise

Messiah

Metal Gear Solid Franchise

Metro Franchise

Mica: Apoptosis

Michigan: Report From Hell

Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Franchise

Mortal Kombat Franchise

Nanashi no Game aka The Nameless Game

Nightmare Creatures

Ninja Gaiden Franchise

Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

No More Heroes Franchise

OFF

Oni

Onimusha Franchise

Outlast Franchise

Overlord Franchise

Painkiller Franchise

Parasite Eve Franchise

Penumbra Franchise

Persona Franchise

Phantasmagoria

Planescape: Torment

Prototype Franchise

Quake Franchise

Resident Evil Franchise

Resistance Franchise

Risk of Rain

Robinson's Requiem

Rule of Rose

Saw: The Video Game Franchise

Saints Row Franchise

Saya no Uta

The Sexy Brutale

Scorn

Silent Hill Franchise

Sin and Punishment

Siren Franchise

Shadowman Franchise

ShadowRun Franchise

Shin Megami Tensei Franchise

Skullgirls

Snatcher

Soul Calibur Franchise

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Splatterhouse Franchise

Stubbs the Zombie Franchise

The Suffering Franchise

Surgeon Simulator

Survival Crisis Z

System Shock Franchise

The Thing

Theresia: Dear Emile

Thief Franchise

Thrill Kill

Timeslaughter

Tomb Raider (Crystal Dynamics)

Traffic Department 2192                                                                               

Trauma Centre Franchise

Twisted Metal Franchise

Umineko: When They Cry

Undead Knights

Vampire: The Masquerade: Redemption

Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines

Vindictus

The Void

The Walking Dead Franchise

Warframe

Wax Works

Weird Dreams

the white chamber

The Witch’s House

The Witcher Franchise

Wolfenstein Franchise

X-COM Franchise

Xenonauts

Yume Nikki

Needs More Research:

Amy

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

hi! so far i only have experience with dnd as far as tabletop rpgs go, but all your posts made me really interested in what other ttrpgs are out there. i cant really make sense of where to start reading up though, and searching on google seems to bring more questions than answers. any advice for a newbie?

oh god i cant believe im a tatterpig elder now

ok so games that sort of play like dnd but a little different

dungeon world is a pbta game (powered by the apocalypse), which means that even though it’s the same sort of generic fantasy dungeon crawl or whatever you play in dnd the rolls are different and some of the assumptions are dfferent? like monsters dont have turns but if you roll badly when attacking you expose yourself to their attacks

there are a lot of different pbta games like monsterhearts (about being monsters in high school) monster of the week (about playing xfiles or supernatural or buffy) apocalypse world (mad max plus psychic mutants) etc

in a similar vein there’s a system called fate (or fate core) that gets used for a lot of settings, i think the current adventure zone arc is using a fate system. fate is mega flexible, you know how sometimes you argue with the gm that having this random power should totally let you do something unrelated, like how my player once argued she should be invincible because “ok, but im a tiger”? fate is mostly that

shadowrun is in a scifi/fantasy future, where its basically a cyberpunk dystopia but also there are elves and trolls and wizards and shamans. the setting is great but the system is kind of A Lot so maybe dont start with that one

exalted is my old favorite it’s sort of a cross between pulp fantasy and wild animes, by default you play as a hero blessed by the god of being awesome and your husband is a centuries old werewolf and your teacher is a prophetic ninja from heaven and your enemy is an elemental samurai. again the system is maybe a little advanced to graduate to from d20 but it did just get a new edition and i like it, a lot

the world of darkness is a series of games about monsters like vampires and werewolves and mummies and mages and ten-foot-tall biomechanical demons, there’s “classic world of darkness” and theres “chronicles of darkness” which are sort of two takes on each concept (chronicles of darkness is newer) (i dont recall if this is the right terminology) (i promise its not as jrpg as the name chronicles of darkness makes it sound)

now lets get weird 

nobilis is a game by jenna moran where the imperators, embodiments of cocnepts like desecration and fire and blankets and turtles, put that concept into you so they can fight excrucians from outside the world. you can, at the beginning of the game, do things like reshape continents and kung fu kick the moon. it is very common for characters to be completely indestructible. there are supposedly a lot of tea parties in nobilis

chuubos marvelous wish-granting engine is a game by the same author that sort of feels like playing a miyazaki movie, where theres a kid with a wish-granting engine who wishes for things like ‘i wish i was a seagull’ and ‘i wish seagulls were cool’. one sample character is a mad scientist who ripped out his heart to become the sun and one sample character is principal entropy, whose hands perpetually drip with blood, who lives on a soul-eating monster that orbits the sun, and who masquerades as a vigilante helping old ladies cross the road

quiet year is a game about a settlement trying to live through the year, and preparing for the winter that will come

ribbon drive is a road trip simulator where you dont roll dice (none of these last four have rolled dice, but). instead what happens is everyone makes an irl mixtape and you listen to it and narrate whats happening based on the mood

honey heist is a game about being a criminal bear, where your stats are criminal and bear. the entire ruleset fits on one page of paper

dream askew is about being queer in the psychic apocalypse, i havent played it but i would very much like to. it was made by the same lady who made ribbon drive and monsterhearts

basically if you can imagine a premise someone has probably made a game about it

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Look, I think we can agree that the first Mortal Kombat film was fun but was too much of a fence-sitter of a film. Not only was it a PG-13 film based on the most notoriously violent game in video game history, but it had about as much plot and visual effects polish as the game it was based on. It was neither good enough for film audiences nor extreme enough for fans of the video game. Nevertheless, the film made bank. From a modest budget of $18 million, Mortal Kombat grossed $122 million worldwide. The Gods of Hollywood demanded a sequel and, well, I think you’ll be glad to hear that the 1997 sequel did absolutely nothing to solve the problems of the original. It just made more.

“This time there is no tournament. This time there no rules. This time there is only Annihilation.”

Hey look! It’s that one guy! The lemon-flavored ninja, right? Didn’t he die in the last movie?

CAN YOU DIG IT??

Hey look! It’s that one girl! The strawberry flavored kunoichi, right? See the joke is that you all look the same with masks on.

Me and my shit-eating grin are gonna take over the world! What’chu gonna do about it, punk?

“Yeahhh! I’m a centaur! YEEEAAAHHH!”

Eww, is this really what the 90s looked like?

Behold the horror of every 90s mom at Halloween!!

Okay, everyone line up and stare at the blue screen.

So, in the game Jax’s arms are just robot arms. In the movie they’re more like exo-skeleton enhancements. So basically he’s wearing robo-sleeves with no shirt, which is supposed to be LESS dumb than robot prosthetics.

Released in 1997, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation steals the plot from Mortal Kombat 3 and the character roster from Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, hoping to cater more to fans of the video game. Producer Lawrence Kasanoff who produced the previous Mortal Kombat film and would later go on to write, direct, and producer Foodfight! (Yes, THAT Foodfight!) said that he was trying to make the film “even more spectacular than the first movie… Our theme for the sequel is to shoot for more—more fights, more special effects, more Outworld, more everything.” It’s true. The film has more of pretty much everything. More fights strung together with little to no connecting plot. More dropped plot threads and character arcs such as Liu Kang’s partially completed Animality trials. More characters uttering more nonsense one-liners with more campy melodramatic flair than you have ever heard in a single film! And even more shoddy special effects and matte effects that make you question what decade the film was made in. Oh yeah, and the damn thing is still a pansy PG-13!

Many of the original cast from the first Mortal Kombat film reprise their roles including Robin Shou as Liu Kang, Talisa Soto as Kitana, and uh…no wait, that’s it. Nearly everyone attached to the first film could see where this whole ‘Movies based on Video Games’ thing was headed and escaped with what little of their careers were still intact. Says here that Linden Ashby was asked to return as Johnny Cage but then turned it down after reading the script. Even our boy Christopher Lambert, from Supercult Classic Highlander, who played Raiden in the original film jumped ship and had to be replaced with James Remar, an arguably better actor who is given even less to work with script-wise than his predecessor. The overhauled cast had to not only learn how to somehow turn dialogue copy-pasted from a bad cartoon show into drama while sprinting through dozens of fight scenes. The only thing going for it cast-wise might be that behind the scenes working as the stunt double for Robin Shou was a 20-something Tony Jaa, veteran Muay Tai fighter since childhood and future star of Supercult Classic Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior,  the most real martial arts film ever.

But let’s get real: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was panned by both critics and fans of the video game. It is one of the lowest rated movies on IMDB with a score of 3.8 out of 10 right alongside Jaws 3-D (1983), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), and Supercult Classic Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987). It has a staggering 2% on Rotten Tomatoes and even video game programmer and Mortal Kombat co-creator, and the original voice of the Motal Kombat announcer Ed Boon hated the film’s guts. But worst of all, it barely made its money back, grossing only a third of the box office returns of its predecessor on nearly double the budget. Reception was so bad that plans for a third Mortal Kombat film, called Mortal Kombat: Devastation, were abruptly cancelled. But take heart fellow Supercultists. The Mortal Kombat rights are now with Warner Bros. and there are plans for a 2021 reboot. Ahh, the Elder Gods continue to bless Supercult with an unending supply of fodder, don’t they?

Now adays its hard to tell whether Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a cautionary tale of corporate greed and early video game cash-ins, or if it has evolved into a hilarious cult hit that plays into its own unintentional comedy. Is it a really bad video game film, or a really good spoof of the source material? It’s time to decide supercultists! Round One! FIGHT!

Supercult West is proud to present, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!