#either the worst or best decision of my life it really depends on the day tbh

[dmumt]

six years since power..... six years since exo became my ults hold on a second man hold on a second

[wispythreads]

I did catch on to that part of it with him bouncing between jobs so frequently, and some of the other things like the fridge freezer, but they were still included in the jumbled up thoughts I listed out partly because I was thinking about them before coming to an answer, and partly because I'm not fully sure if those answers are all there is to it.

Cause, yeah, there’s the newspaper clipping rebuking him for being “unprofessional and brash” (which damn that’s also just rotating in my head because Vince was clearly reading this specific clipping earlier and blatantly lied saying Rody hadn’t been mentioned at all, later scribbling out the section talking about the waiter), he’s very clearly messy and unkempt in pretty much every aspect of his life, and even if he gets the to-go question right in the tutorial, Vince appends the "Good work." with "keep tone in mind."

But, the thing is, he does know a lot of the basics. Much of the tutorial is really just for the benefit of the player to know how the mechanics of the game works, Rody meanwhile nods along and does whatever task is needed without comment, only getting tripped up when Vince mentions the way the menu for his bistro works, and when the aforementioned customer asked if he could get boxes to go or call in his order ahead of time. Which I think are reasonable things to get tripped up on! Those seem like things that would vary depending on the establishment he was working for.

I keep thinking about his reaction when Vince pivoted the conversation of "do you actually like your job" onto Rody. His awkward response that it paid him money. Vince voicing specifically “I doubt you wanted to wait tables for a living-”, and that being met with how there was “something” Rody went to school for, that he was too hesitant to tell Vince, feeling he’d get made fun of. The impression that its some passion he had that just didn't work out. The revelation later that the “something” in question was him majoring in hospitality.

He was afraid he'd be made fun of for actively going to school and choosing to study for skills that, either ironically or purposefully, would've been useful for his current job of waiting tables. A goal that he flunked out of. He has had 28 jobs in the service industry over the course of 7 years. He keeps losing his job, but he also keeps getting hired.

I keep thinking of the post-credits scene of the Best Served Hot, whisky lemon cake ending. "I can't keep watching you ruin any semblance of progress you make with yourself while trying to make me happy, it's exhausting-"

He's only 4 days into this job when he approaches Vince for a raise. He already figures he'll have enough to do something nice for Manon, his "girlfriend," by the end of the week, but he wants more to make it really special. He is very clearly told 'no.'

On the 5th day, when his shift is finally over and done, we don't next see him as we usually do, back at his apartment. He's still at the bistro, all the lights turned out. The only other person presumably being Vince hacking away at the meat in the freezer that'll be used for the meals in the morning. The first time I went through that night, I presumed Rody had just been selected to stay late and help clean up for the night, with whatever Vince was doing in the background ominous horror ambience to be unsettled by.

But we can't really do anything while there that would support this initial assumption. There are only two things you can do. Snoop around in Vince's office, and... steal from the cash register. Whether you avoid doing the latter as I did or not, it has no bearing on whatever ending you get, but just the fact that it's even an option to Rody...

How many other times did he allow his love for Manon to rule over his decisions, making choices in the pursuit of what he believed would make her happy, no matter the cost, before finally facing a price for his obsession beyond the scope of his worst nightmares?

...

And after all that I do want to defend the rollerskates a bit because

Rollerskates in restaurants are kinda a thing, in the 1960s (the year this game is set) they were a pretty popular gimmick/tool for diners in the U.S. at least, not sure about elsewhere in the world unfortunately

Yeah he canonically brought and proceeded to wear rollerskates to work at a fancy bistro. But that also means Vince watched him show up to work one day, wearing rollerskates, and just let him do it. Just watched Rody roll around his fancy bistro attending to customers that expect the highest of professionalism, and said nothing.

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of a Fight, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: Ahh thank you for 1,000 followers!! I don't even know how that happened!! Anyways, I think it's a little anticlimactic? I just feel like since I am definitely not the kind to raise my voice, a shy reader wouldn't either. Besides, disappointment hurts more than anger, right?

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 4:

Leon really did like you, honest. You were such a sweet girl, so innocent and clueless. Maybe it’s because he never gave his one night stands the time of day, or maybe it was just the sheer amount of time he had to spend with you to get this close, but now he knew he was a pretty terrible person for taking that bet

In the beginning he didn’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt due to the words the frat spewed at him. He knew all the right questions to ask, all the right things to say, the sweetness of it all had you under a spell.  It was also such a menial thing to get, a single pair of panties… You probably wouldn’t even know it was missing!

But as time went on, it got harder and harder for Leon to stomach just what he was doing. You’d opened up so much to him about your home life, how stressed you were, how much pressure you were under. Doing this would absolutely ruin you so he did his best to convince himself that he was being the nice one by waiting to complete the bet until you had finished all your finals. All that time spent together had him second guessing, triple guessing, even quadruple guessing his decision to go through with this. The good grades were important to you, he didn’t want to draw your focus away from that.

It was a shame his friends couldn’t keep the damn thing to themselves even if their life depended on it. He’d explicitly told them that it’s done and there was nothing more to it, yet of course they just had to snicker and make snide little comments to each other the next day when they saw you in passing.

Leon wouldn’t admit out loud that you’d really grown on him over the months, so he could only brush his friends off whenever they’d tease him about getting angry whenever the topic arose. Chris was the worst out of all of them, being his best friend, it seemed like his mission was to dance on Leon’s nerves any chance he got.

“Delete that.” A scowl graced Leon’s features as he glared at Chris, who’d stepped back from the agitated man. Almost the entire frat had posed with the panties Leon stole from you, all of them making some form of exaggerated pose and face. What was only meant to be goofy on their part was making the man responsible furious.

“Relax, it’s just a picture. I thought you’d find it funny.” Chris chuckled, bringing his phone back in to look at it again himself. “You’re acting real sour for nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re all acting like a bunch of fucking idiots and I’m sick of it. Now delete that damn picture before I smash your phone with a hammer.” The nonchalant attitude from Chris was driving Leon up the wall. He already knew he’d fucked up big time, and with the way everyone was acting would only get him into bigger trouble.

“Shut up, man.” Chris laughed, like this was all some big joke. Everything was a joke to him. “Acting like you’re gonna explode or something.” This man was an actual dumbass, never taking a moment to actually think about what consequences having photo evidence with the entirety of the frat’s members posing with something stolen would have.

Leon scoffed, holding his hands up before letting them fall dramatically to slap against the tops of his thighs. “No fucking way..” One hand came back up to cover his mouth, breathing out sharply through his nose. It was a sad attempt to keep himself from pouncing on the other man, seeing as not barely five seconds later he tackled Chris, hands scrambling to rip the phone from his hand.

Chris was a few inches taller than Leon, a bit stronger too, so the scuffle didn’t last long. Some punches thrown here, a few kicks there, and Leon had the wind knocked out of him at some point, thrown to the side and left to struggle to get up off the floor while Chris decided to make his way to a different part of the house, muttering under his breath all the while.

“God dammit-” Leon wheezed, on his hands and knees, one hand against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. Sure he reacted purely on instinct, but Chris could stand to be knocked down a few pegs in his opinion. The guy is an ass.

After finally collecting himself, Leon slowly spun around to rest his back against the foot of the couch, elbows resting on his knees. He coughed a couple times and let his eyes fall closed, eyebrows furrowed as he silently seethed. Chris was most definitely going to send that picture around since he obviously thinks it’s the funniest thing to ever grace this planet. You were going to see the picture. That thought alone had his head falling forward in defeat, breathing out a weak sigh and a few more coughs. 

If he had just followed his own shitty advice, he would’ve taken a second to think about it. Why didn’t he just tell you in the first place? Why didn’t he just go to the store and buy a random pair of panties? Why did he follow through on such a meaningless bet?

Now that Leon thinks about it, he was the dumbass in this scenario. A royal one.

He probably sat there for an hour with his eyes closed, mind racing a million miles a minute. Trying not to make another stupid decision, he decided the best course of action would be to tell you before you saw that picture. You should hear it from him and not a total stranger. It was the right thing to do. Right?

He let out a few more strangled coughs and wheezes as he stood up off the floor and threw his coat on, beginning the walk of shame to your building. It wouldn’t have taken that long, but the snow and sludge on the ground made it a bit more dangerous, he needed to tread carefully. In more ways than one.

The extended walk left him alone with his thoughts, seeing as he didn’t grab his own phone to bring with him. With every step his mind grew heavier, an involuntary grimace scrunching his face up as he mulled over what exactly he’d done. He was mentally beating himself up over how easy it would’ve been to avoid this situation if he’d just thought outside of himself for one singular minute.

What had he done? 

Leon stomped the excess snow off his boots once inside of the dorm building, hands hidden in the pockets of his jackets as he meandered over to the stairs to get up to the second floor where your dorm was. He took his sweet time, practicing what he wanted to say under his breath as he stared down at his feet while walking up the steps.

Your dorm was down the hall around the corner, allowing him the few extra seconds it would take to get there to get his heart under control. You would be mad, rightfully so, but would you forgive him? Is it selfish to hope that you would?

He stood in front of your door for a minute longer, hand hovering just in front of it, trying to bring  himself to knock. Licking his dry lips, he quickly hit the knuckle on his index finger against the door three times, his eyes downturned. As much as he wanted to be the bigger person, it scared him to no end. He’s never cared this much before, so why was he so worried about it now?

Leon’s eyes shot up at the sound of the door opening, immediately showing his confusion when it was Sky on the other side. They didn’t say a word, but they looked mad, or at least very irritated. “Hey, I really need to talk to-,” they cut him off by simply holding up the palm of their hand to him, taking in a deep breath. “We saw it.”

Those three words made his heart drop to his stomach, his eyes quickly darting to look through the opening in the door to see if he could see you. “Please, if you would just let me explain I can-”

“Don’t embarrass yourself. Just go.” Sky was just about to close the door before they quickly looked over their shoulder, shutting the door almost all the way. Leon could hear them whispering to you, and though he desperately wanted to listen in, he decided to take a step back from the door and wait patiently. It was the least he could do.

He looked side to side to make sure no one was walking through the hallways, not wanting anyone to eavesdrop on such a sensitive situation. The door reopened, only this time it was you standing in the doorway. You looked so sad, so disappointed.

Leon hesitated before opening his mouth, yet you cut him off before he could even get a word in. “I trusted you,” you rasped quietly, a shaky sigh passing your lips, “I-.. I trusted you… and this is how you treat me..?” His shoulders slumped as he listened to you. He didn’t think he could feel any worse about this, but here you were, reminding him just how much of an ass he’s been.

“All that time we spent together.. all those kind, encouraging words you told me.. were all a lie?” You sniffled, arms slinking around yourself tightly. Sky was standing out of his view rubbing your back, knowing you wanted, no, needed to confront him yourself.

“No- I-..” Leon stuttered, trying to find the best way to explain everything. And no matter how many times he formulated it in his head, the explanation would never justify his actions. Instead he settled on something that would probably mean and do nothing for you. It was worth saying, though. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry,” his voice fell to a whisper as he repeated himself, eyes remaining on yours. What else could he say?

Silence fell between you as you only stared back at him with glassy eyes, your every breath shaky as you held back sobs. Crying in front of him would only give him more fuel, was your thought process. In your mind, he couldn’t even be trusted with your trash. 

By now, Sky had walked over and grabbed your suitcase, rolling it over next to you. You were leaving a day earlier than you said you would, Sky having offered to drive you back home since your hometown was only a couple hours away from where theirs was.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, instead taking the handle of your suitcase from your friend before silently walking out of the room, past Leon, and down around the corner. He only stood and watched you walk off with a deep frown, head turning back to look at Sky when he heard them lock the door behind themself. 

“You’re only sorry that you got caught.” They grumbled as they walked past him, giving him a quick yet harsh glare. They soon disappeared around the same corner you had, leaving him all alone in the now quiet hallway. 

You were the nicest, most considerate person he’s ever had the pleasure to know and he blew it. The worst part about it all was you didn’t even seem mad, just heartbroken. Disappointed in him.

You had put so much of your trust into him, even after he’d been so nasty towards you in the beginning, and what did he do with it? He basically spit on it, lit it on fire, and then flushed the remnants. He was only annoyed with you the first few times he had to help you study, the bickering the two of you shared easily becoming one of the things he liked about you.

Leon honestly liked you from the start, so determined to pass a class that you’d put up with what was basically harassment from him. When he told his frat buddies about you, they were quick to draw up that bet. Unfortunately, he’d known most of these guys since middle school, and you were just a girl he met on chance. His friends’ words blanketed his own morals, and because they saw you as a target, so did he, that subconscious need for peer approval leading him to make one of the worst decisions he’s ever made thus far.

If he was in your shoes, he’d raise hell, so your decision to leave was completely understandable. For some reason you’d let him off easy and he knew he didn’t deserve such light treatment. 

All he could do now was hope you’d come back next semester. He’d be fine just getting to see you in passing since you most likely wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him anymore, your friends would certainly keep him at a distance away from you. 

Would writing a message be okay? You need time before he approaches the topic with you. Should he leave you be? No, you deserve an apology, even if you don’t want it, nor accept it. 

Someone brushed by Leon, breaking his train of thought. He was still standing in the hallway in front of your dorm room. He needed to go and try to make this right, or at the very least rip everyone at the frat a new one. He wasn’t sure, maybe it was because he was angry at them and himself, but leaving the frat sounded like a pretty good way to start righting his wrongs. Not before he made sure that the picture was wiped from everyone’s phone and the panties he stole were kept far away from everyone there. 

Chris sent the picture to you, which means it was sent to a bunch of other people too. He’ll spend all winter break tracking down every last person it was sent to, tell professors what he’d done just so it didn’t spread any further. And if it meant he’d lose his scholarship, then so be it.

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627

(few of your blogs won't work, i tried though 😭)

[m00nsbaby]

imagine some angsty moonboys with “half of my heart belongs to you but it’s still stitching up the wounds you left behind” AHDOFOSLWBF ok bye

SHIIIT, NO BUT I CAN IMAGINE IT FROM DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES DEPENDING ON WHICH ONE OF THE MOON BOYS??

Marc.

His constant habit of belittling himself became a problem.

For him, you can handle all of Marc's emotional baggage as you once promised.

The problem is that when you're sure someone is your soulmate, you want to see them happy.

And when Marc realizes that maybe you spend more time worrying about him than feeling happy with him, he questions for the tenth time that maybe it's best for you.

So he leaves, without warning.

He takes everything with him, your heart, your happiness, your life.

He seeks joy in his silly idea that his decision will bring you a better life.

You try to be patient, waiting for him to come back.

And he does, eventually, visiting you at night.

You try to let your guard down when his kisses try to convince you that even though he thinks you can't be together, he loves you.

You don't believe him.

You never believe him.

But you let him try because you prefer this to losing him completely.

Jake.

"You have to fight for me," you said a million times.

Jake never did, even though his heart belonged to you.

The problem was, you could never understand that nothing in his environment was meant to make him believe in his autonomy, which, according to him, was a fantasy.

His purpose was to take care of Marc and Steven, not make their life more complicated.

So when you became a problem in their relationship with Layla, he understood it was time to say goodbye.

"Tell me you don't love me," was the last thing you said, and when he couldn't respond, you had your answer.

He did, in his crazy, quiet, and steadfast way.

And the problem was, even though he couldn't choose you, you still thought of him.

You still loved him, never stopped.

You loved him so much that it hurt, your chest, your head. Breathing itself felt painful without Jake.

He didn't try, never did, and never would.

But for you, it was so hard to accept.

Steven.

Eventually, it all became too much for you.

Steven's life was in chaos, and you had long realized that it was best not to get involved in these things.

After the third broken heart, you began to consider that looking out for yourself wasn't wrong.

Making yourself a priority didn't make you a villain.

What you didn't know was that there was only one thing giving Steven a false sense of stability at that moment.

You.

"I beg you," and you did your best to release his hands. Maybe meeting him in a public place hadn't been one of your better ideas. "P-Please, give me a chance."

Perhaps the worst part was that he wasn't a bad prospect. If he had his life together, you might have considered staying.

You also considered it when his huge brown eyes filled with tears.

Or when he told you he was scared.

Deep down, he knew that depending on one person wasn't healthy, and putting that burden on your shoulders wasn't fair.

But he was afraid of losing everything when you left.

And although Steven wasn't one to give up, you weren't one to look back either.

And for the three of them???

The three blame each other for your departure.

Marc because he never gave you the place in his life that you deserved. A priority rather than an option.

Jake because he was never able to openly express how much he loved you.

And your sweet, sweet Steven for allowing the other two to do something like this to you.

The cycle was self-destructive, there was no moment of the day when you weren't on their minds.

Oh, not even at night. The nighttime waking hours became a torture when they had to stay awake in silence, with nothing but thoughts and the constant repetition of the mistakes they had made when they were with you.

Was it really necessary for Marc to get out of bed early that day, or could he have afforded to stay in your arms a little longer?

Would your eyes ever shine as brightly as when Jake leaned down to you and called you "mi cielo"?

The idea of someone else doing it made Jake's stomach churn.

And consequently, the other two as well.

Would Steven's body ever feel the seconds of peace that your finger brought when you ran them through his curls?

Or worse yet, was it worth continuing to think about the "what ifs" when even though their heart begged for your return, none of the three would be able to make you come back?

Tag list :)

@ninebluehearts @icreatedthisat317am @onefinnedwonder-fm @shousha133

[puffpasstea]

omg yayyy that angsty sick matilda blurb sounds amazing!!! i can't wait <3

So, this took a COMPLETE TURN!!! It's also wayyyy too long to be a blurb, but I really hope you still like it. 🥺🥺🥺 Please let me know what you think! Warnings: dom!harry, fluff, mentions of smut.

-----

I knew when I’d gone to bed feeling achy all over and drained of energy after doing the bare minimum that I’d wake up feeling sick this morning, but the reality of how I felt still exceeded my expectations. I dragged my feet across the floor to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a thermometer to check for a fever. Luckily, there it was within normal range. I was probably just dehydrated and sleep deprived. In fairness, I’ve never had the best immune system anyway, as a child, I got the sniffles pretty much twice a month. My grandmother and her friends always speculated that it’s because I never got enough bonding time with my parents as an infant. Some people informally diagnosed me with a deficient immune system, stemming from some kind of imbalance or other. When I’m not in denial about how I treat myself, I tend to think it’s because I run myself into the ground on a regular basis and overall suck at looking after myself.

I would never confess or try to explain the thought process to anybody because I know just how insane it sounds  when said out loud, but I often feel that I don’t deserve to rest. And, even if I did, it wouldn’t matter either way. Because, unlike the average person, I had no real personal life, or a family who depended on me. All I had was work. It’s my one real responsibility; the one thing I’m decent at; the one thing I actually enjoy. So, I didn’t need to take breaks, and if I end up falling ill, it wouldn’t matter anyway. The only person who’d end up being affected would be me. Comforted by my dubious logic, and the fact that I had no fever to speak of, I decided I’d power through and go into work. I was going to spend my time in the microfilm room, alone, for most of the day. Maybe, if I get everything done early, I could get a nap in before dropping by the film set.

I stuffed my work bag full of tea bags, Emergen-C, and cough drops, just to be prepared for the worst and got out the door. Thanks to the regular covid testing policy on campus, at least I knew I wasn’t carrying a deadly disease. That was a silver lining.

The first couple of hours of work went by fine, it was when I began to feel weak and queasy that the trouble started. I probably needed to eat something to get my energy up, but I had positively no appetite or desire to eat. The very thought of food made me nauseous. I had some generic meds in my desk drawer that I could take, but those probably shouldn’t be taken on an empty stomach.The irony of the dilemma frustrated me. I feel too sick to eat, so I need to take some meds, but I can’t take any meds before I’ve had something to eat first. The adult thing to do here would probably be to seek medical help. So, I tried to imagine what a doctor or nurse might say to me. “Get some rest and  drink some fluids.” Which would mean skipping out on work; the only thing that gave me purpose. Nope. Finally, I made the decision to put a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and a squeeze of lemon into my hot tea, to see if that would help. On the plus side, working with microfilm required very dim light and precise temperature control which probably mitigated the headache some. If there ever was a day to be sick on the job, today was it.

Around lunchtime, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Out of an abundance of caution, and a superstitious kind of respect for these materials that hardly anyone ever requested anymore, I decided to take the call outside. Cracking open the door and stepping into the hallway proved disorienting. But I told myself I was just dizzy because my eyes needed to adjust to the light. Caller ID on my screen showed that it was Harry, causing an almost reflexive smile to appear on my face.

I swallowed, picking up the call. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, sweets. Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, never. What’s up?”

I heard him chuckle nervously on the other end of the line. Though he seemed uncertain, the sound of his laugh always made my heart skip a beat. Not that I’d ever tell him that.

“C’mon, out with it, Styles. What’s going on?”

“Uhh, well, this is gonna make me sound like a horny shithead, but, I’m free for the next couple of hours, and- last week, when I had this time off, we-”

“Oh, so, this is a booty call?”

All I heard in response was a bunch of incoherent stuttering. One of the reasons that I found Harry’s dominance so compelling was the fact that, meeting him in the context of everyday interactions, you’d never guess that he had it in him to be that cruel or strict. It always caught me off-guard whenever he would flip the switch, and it was always the hottest thing ever.

“Not when you put it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Come over and meet me, and I’ll show ya.”

I weighed the options in my mind. Not that his offer wasn’t tempting, but I hated being around people when I was sick. I’d purposefully come in through a different entrance so I wouldn’t have to run into Fran and let her see me like this. If I declined Harry’s offer, though, he would almost certainly know that something’s off. We always found a way to hook up when the opportunity presented itself. To be sure, he always checked in and made sure I never felt pressured or obligated. Sometimes I’d have to get impatient and yell that I definitely show up because I want to, not because I have to, before he’s fully convinced, but we always, always met up. Even if it meant delaying for a bit, or waiting until later in the day. I mean, sure, the sex was fun and all. It wasn’t just about the sex though. Spending any time at all with Harry meant the world to me. He always made me feel seen and heard, and allowed me to explore sides of myself I never thought existed. He was also, always, unexpectedly wild and funny, and I got to see glimpses of what he’s personally like, that often lingered in my memory long after our interactions had ended, and I would fantasize about spending my life with him and sharing these moments everyday. In other words, even if he weren’t calling me for sex, I’d still want to go. The question is, would I be able to hide my current state from him?

“Hello? Have I lost you? Connection in the trailer’s kinda spotty sometimes…”

“N-no, I’m here, Harry. I can hear you.”

“Oh, well- umm… listen, I didn’t mean to make you feel like an object, I’m so sorry….I came off sleazy for sure…I just thought It’d be nice to-”

“Hey, Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Come over here an fuck me, will you?”

“On my way.”

***

Harry’s smile slowly dissolved as he got closer and closer to me. I unlocked the old office-turned-storage-room that we often hung out in for privacy, and snuck him in.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“Uhh, well, hello to you too?” I deflected. He was already seeing right through me. I loved that Harry knew me so well, could read my body like an open book, knew exactly what I needed when I needed it, and knew exactly how to give it to me. But, times like these made our intimacy feel overwhelming and suffocating. 

“No, I mean it.” He cut straight through my attempted bluff. “What’s wrong? Your eyes look glassy, and…well, you seem off.”

I entertained the idea of playing it off like I was offended. “Excuse me? Just go ahead and call me ugly, why don’t you. after you called to-”

“Baby, you know I think you’re beautiful. Always. Don’t act like that isn’t true. We both know it is. Now tell me what’s going on?” He reached over to caress my cheek with the back of his hand. “Shit, you’re burning up….”

I stared into his eyes, unable to speak, and unable to look away. My anxious mind ran over the different possibilities for this conversation. I wasn’t sure which would be worse, having to tell him that I’m sick and him insisting on doing something about it, or having to tell him that I’m sick and him walking away from me. 

I don’t know why it felt so inconceivable to admit to him that I was feeling ill. Harry had seen me at my worst pretty early on in our friendship. He’d cleaned my apartment, shaved my body, washed my hair, without batting an eye. Hell, he’d even stuck his dick in my ass, beat me bloody, and spent many nights looking after me in subspace, at my most vulnerable. So why was this so hard? Maybe because I hate asking for help, or maybe it’s because Harry had already done so much for me. I didn’t want him to feel responsible for me. I also didn’t want to appear helpless and needy. And yet, this instance, the only thought I had was how I’d crumble to the ground if he pulled his touch away, let alone left the room.

“I-I swear I wasn’t feverish when I came to work this morning…” I wrapped my arms around the arm that touched my face, to make sure he kept it there.

“You’ve been sick since this morning?”

“Since…last night.” I mumbled.

“So, earlier, when I called and you hesitated…” I could see in his eyes that the realization hit him. “Oh, god. And I didn’t even bother to ask how you were doing before I asked if you’d wanna suck my dick…what kind of- shit. Shit. shit! I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“Harry, Harry, Stop!” I squeezed his hand to get his attention. “You didn’t ask me to suck your dick. I believe all I heard was incoherent stuttering…”

Harry rolled his eyes, cracking a smile. “Okay, brat. Gonna let that one slide. Only cuz you’re ill though...”

“Seriously, I was the one who asked you to come over. Stop berating yourself please.”

“Alright, well, it’s a good thing I came, isn’t it?” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s get you outta here. C’mon…”

“I’m in the middle of work!”

“Work will survive without you for half a day. All the dead poets will still be dead tomorrow. Let’s go.”

“I can’t-”

“You seem to forget who’s actually in charge here…”

***

On the way home, I fell asleep in the passenger’s seat of Harry’s car, with his hand on my thigh the whole way. When I woke up,  blinking the sleep away, and attempting to open my eyes, all I saw was Harry’s gentle smile, inches away from me. “You’re awake..” He’d bent down to cradle me into his arms, and carry me out of the car,

“W-wait, what are you doing? This isn’t even my place!”

“Yeah, it’s mine. Think i'm lettin’ you spend the night alone when you’re this sick? Who’s gonna look after you if your fever doesn’t go down? Hmm?”

“I- Harry, I’m a grown woman. Can take care of myself, you know. I HAVE gotten sick before…”

“Honey, I don’t doubt that you can. But just cuz you can, doesn’t mean you should have to.”

Despite my relentless protests, Harry refused to put me down until we’d reached his bed. He set me square in the middle of the king sized bed and promptly went on to take my shoes off for me. Which I fought him for, and attempted to kick his hands away. A Battle I quickly lost.

“It’s pathetic…” He shook his head with a smile as he undid my shoe laces. “On your very best days, I can tie you up and pin you down with one hand. We’ve done it countless times. Tryin’ to fight me when you’re sick? It’s just sad…”

I blushed at the recollection of my body underneath his, aching for his touch.

He disappeared into one of his gigantic closet and came back moments later. “Heating pad; some clothes…boxers might be a bit loose, but that’s probably more comfortable anyway, and here’s an extra pillow to prop you up. Want the TV on or do you wanna just sleep while I make us some soup?”

“S-soup? Harry, you're supposed to be on set in an hour!”

“Took care of that. Don’t worry.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Chicken noodle or Italian vegetable? I’m thinkin italian…”

***

I stared down at the empty soup bowl in my lap as Harry watched the tv with his arm around me.

“Harry?” my voice was already strained. Tears pooling in the corners of my eyes,

“Hmm?” his eyes still on the screen.

 “Can I ask you a question? But please be honest.”

“‘Course, always.” He muted the tv and turned around to face me, giving mr his undivided attention.

“What happens on a film set when a leading actor suddenly disappears in the middle of a work day?”

 “Oh…” He turned his attention back to the TV, apparently deeming my concern unserious. “Depends on the circumstances…”

“Let’s say he disappeared cuz he skipped out on work to go make Italian vegetable soup for the woman he’s sleeping with.”

Harry looked visibly irritated. With a loud huff, he ran his fingers through his hair, pressing his lips together tightly…

“First of all, I’ve already told you to quit worrying, I have everything under control. Second, you’re not just some ‘woman I’m sleeping with,’ alright? Get it through your thick head, I’m in love with you! I know you’re too fucked up to accept that as fact, and I get that. I don’t blame you. I mean, you couldn’t even tell me you were sick! Think I don’t know why that is? I may not experience the things that you do, but I’m not an idiot…” He took a pause to catch his breath and to gain control over his tone. “You’ve got it in your head that you don’t deserve love. Any time I try to show you any decency or step closer, you bolt right away under the assumption that caring about you is this huge fuckin burdon to me. Well, it’s not. I’m not gonna argue with you about it. I know I can’t just convince you of it in one conversation….but I’ll be damned if I don’t spend the rest of my life trying to show you what it means to love you.”

Hot, stinging tears ran freely down my face. “You- love me?”

“Mhmm.” Harry nodded and reached for the remote, unmuting the TV as if he’d just taken a quick bathroom break, or something.

I laid my head on his shoulder and continued to silently cry as he kept his focus on the film. Neither one of us said a word for several minutes.

“Told them I had covid symptoms, by the way…’don’t wanna put anyone in danger before I’m sure..’ you know…”

“What?” I pulled my head off his shoulder to look him in the eye. He burst out laughing. “I’ll conveniently test negative tomorrow and go back to work.”

[uchiwife]

Pairing : ItaSaku.🌸🍡 [ Modern AU.]

(In this story Itachi is 21 and Sakura is 19.)

Characters: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Itachi, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Yamanaka Ino, Sai, Nara Shikamaru, Temari, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Izumi, Sasori, Deidara. ( Some are only mentioned or make brief appearances.)

Category: Slice of life, fluff, angst and some humor.

WARNING(S): Good question. Let me know.

Word count : 10k

a/n : English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse me for any mistakes I might commit in it. ꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

—

[ In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, just call my name, I'm yours to tame. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night, I'm wide awake, I crave your taste, all night long 'til morning comes I'm getting what is mine, you gon' get yours. ♡]

“Today is the day!”

Sakura stood in front of her mirror, cheering herself on for the last 15 minutes. She admired her reflection, appreciating the view the mirror reflected back to her. She wasn't too shallow, but she liked to feel beautiful and today she thought she was really pretty. Stressed maybe, nervous even, but very pretty.

She couldn't believe today was the day she would confess her feelings. It's not fair that he's so handsome! She’d always thought he was cute, but back then it was different, he had been her friend. She wasn't sure if two years was the beginning of her love for him, but she was sure it was time to confess. She couldn't live like this anymore, pining for a guy, dreaming of a future that might never exist. This day would determine the rest of her love life; either the man she loved would return her feelings, or she would be heartbroken and have to move on.

The very idea of him not sharing her feelings was painful, but she would respect his decision no matter what. Her mother had always told her that in life when you want something, you have to go get it. And God how she was going to try to get him! Her mom had taught her early on that it was more beneficial for her to never depend on others, let alone for her happiness. People should always be a bonus in our lives, never a burden or something that drags us down. She had taken this lesson to heart, even though sometimes she would really like to be the one to bring that bonus of happiness into the life of the man she loved.

She sighed, tucking a pink lock of hair behind her ear. She checked her dress for creases, made sure nothing was askew, and that her makeup didn't smudge. It wasn’t the case. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.

“ Okay, Sakura. You can do it! You don't have to be a genius! The worst he can say is no, after all.”

Huh. Yes, but, his 'no' might create some damage to my heart. Ugh, what am I going to do if he doesn't like me? I'll never be able to look him in the eyes again. Well, not for a while! Besides, we go to the same college, it's not like I can avoid him all year after that! ”

For heaven's sake, she has pink hair! PINK. She's a beacon in the night for lost souls! She owes her father for that pink hair Although her dad had a much deeper shade of pink. "We found you under a cherry tree," her father had told her when she was four. She snorted snidely. Yeah, right. He made it look like she'd popped out of a flower. Her younger self had bought into his bullshit long enough to be considered embarrassing.

She shook her head. She was getting off-topic. She always did. Her green eyes looked up at the clock on the wall before widening her eyes at the time. She quickly grabbed her shoulder bag, shoving her textbooks into it, and stormed out of her small apartment.

It wasn’t far from the campus. She lived in a shared flat with her best friend. They had decided early on that living together would cut down on expenses and on top of that, it was kind of nice to live with Ino-pig when she wasn't playing fashion designer and turning their apartment into a studio. Ino was exceptional in the field of fashion, she could turn any toad into a queen. She was good like that.

Sakura hurriedly got on her bike and pedaled to the campus. Ino often told her that she reminded her of Wes in HTGAWM or Mike in Suits, Sakura couldn't find it in herself to be offended by this comment because they were both smart, so she preferred to take it as a compliment rather than an insult plus, there was nothing wrong with riding a bike. She liked the bike, feeling the light breeze in her hair. Anything was better than walking. She could take the bus, but she had forgotten to renew her bus pass. Sakura thought that paying the electricity bill was much more important. She could live without buses or subways, she had legs that could take her anywhere, but without electricity? No. And Ino would probably kill her if she chose her pass over their comfort.

It took her less than ten minutes to reach her destination and hook the lock on her bike. The courtyard outside the campus was teeming with students. Some were in a bad mood, some were in a good mood, and some were wondering what the hell they were still doing here and why they were doing this to themselves. Sakura often found herself in between the three. Making sure one last time that the lock was in place, the young woman straightened up while arranging the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

Today was going to be quite a day.

***

It was lunchtime and Sakura still hadn't taken matters into her own hands. It wasn't for lack of trying. The first time she tried to confess her feelings, she ended up asking for a pen instead, claiming she didn't like blue. She'd played it cool, but she was sure the guy had glanced at her pencil case and the countless pens in it. She pretended not to notice and he did the same by lending her one of his.

The second time she tried, she lied and said she had forgotten her organic chemistry textbook and that it would be nice if he let her read the instructions for the assignment. She doubted he really believed her because Sakura wasn't known for her absent-mindedness when it came to her studies, but being the kind man that he is, he graciously said yes as if he genuinely believed that she had forgotten her textbook when it was clearly sticking out of her bag.

The third time... well, there was no third time! Not yet. She was starving, so she decided to postpone her plans and go buy some food. She will need all the energy she can get when she goes to proclaim her love...

“Move out of the way, Sak', there are thirsty people here.”

The young woman gasped and turned to find herself facing a blonde with four pigtails.

“Oh, Tem'. Sorry, I was distracted!”

Temari was a student from Suna. A city located in the southwest where the heat was compared to the desert. She was an exchange student. Sakura liked Temari with her you always knew where you stood. She was straightforward. She was currently dating one of her good friends from middle school and Sakura had dated her cousin a few years ago, so the two women knew each other well since they had spent quite a bit of time together.

“When aren't you? So what's up? Did you recover from last Saturday's party?”

Sakura moved slightly to the side to let Temari indulge in her junk food and soda. She winced slightly at the memory of the said party.

“I had to carry Ino drunk on my back. Do you know how affectionate she is when she's drunk? And loud? Even worse than Naruto. And it's hard to do worse than him.”

Temari snickered at her friend's expense, she had actually heard Ino yell “I love you assholes. I love you guys, you're my friends for life. You're the Boots of my Dora” at some point in the evening. She had amused many. Only Ino would make cartoon references meant for four-year-olds.

“She's charming. Who knew?”

Sakura snorted.

“Don't let her hear you say that.”

They walked to the outside tables, heading for the seats their friends had saved for them. Sakura was about to sit next to Naruto who as usual was eating like a pig, but a pleading look at her dark-haired friend was enough for the latter to smack the back of the blonde's head.

“Oi! What was that for, Teme!?”

“You're eating like a three-year-old, Dobe. You're splattering everyone with your ramen.”

“I'm gonna splatter your face!”

“Oh, I didn't know you swung that way.” Sai interjected, a thoughtful look on his face before adding, “It makes sense, I guess... You've always been very close to Sasuke. You even took baths together.”

There was silence. The sound of falling cutlery was heard and all attention was focused on the two men whose faces were turning red. Naruto began to fidget wildly stammering incomprehensible words while Sasuke choked on his onigiri. Only Sakura patting his back had probably saved him from choking to death.

“WHAT THE FUCK, SAI!? WE WERE LIKE 1 YEAR OLD AT THE TIME! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT ANYWAY !?”

Naruto would have probably jumped at Sai's throat if Shikamaru hadn't held him back by the collar of his shirt with a bored look on his face. Sai, on the other hand, was completely calm and eating his Momen Tofu.

“Your lovely mother showed me your photo album last Christmas. I didn't know you had a thing for bodysuits with toad prints on them either. That explains so much about you...”

“Sai, I swear...!”

All the attention on the boys was forgotten when everyone realized it wasn't a coming out. Conversations gradually resumed and Sakura shook her head, wondering what she had done to be friends with such idiots.

“Sai, for the last time, I'm not dating that dobe, and even if I were paid to do so, I'd still rather be drowned in a puddle.”

Sakura opened her mouth about to retort that technically he couldn't die drowning in a puddle but Sasuke seemed to guess her intentions and glared at her.

“You, miss know-it-all, shut up.”

Sakura faked an outraged look and had to restrain herself from laughing under the murderous gaze of her childhood friend. She raised her hands, playing the innocence card.

“Oi, bastard! You think I want you? Even the sun wouldn't be enough to warm your cold ass. If I wanted to live near a freezer, I would have come to you already.”

The whole table burst into laughter as Sasuke frowned and Sakura gently patted his shoulder in a mock comfort. Sakura loved her friends. Some of them had known each other since kindergarten, others since elementary school, middle school, or even high school. They were her second family. She knew she could count on them and they on her.

***

The sun's rays caressed Sakura's skin as she basked under the cloudless sky. She had two hours to spare and sunbathing wasn't a bad idea. At least that was what she had planned to do but her sharp eye had spotted her target. She quickly stood up and walked towards him. He was sitting on a bench, under a tree, slightly in the shade, his nose plunged in his novel. He couldn't see her since Sakura was coming from behind, but she would have recognized that black hair everywhere.

“Okay, Sak. Take a breath. This is it. You can do it!”

She approached slowly, her heart pounding and her hands slightly clammy, she winced but didn't care any more than that. She leaned forward, reading over his shoulder. A philosophical novel. Typical. So Itachi. A soft smile formed on her lips.

“Nice butt… Book! Omg, BOOK. I meant book, I swear!”

Itachi was taken aback but he regained his composure so quickly that it was barely noticeable. Sakura was blushing like crazy. Now she had to open her big mouth and make a fool of herself. Nice butt?! What's wrong with her? A slip of the tongue at the worst possible moment! She had no timing!

“I'm sure.” Replied the man, a hint of amusement in his voice and if Sakura wasn't so freaked out by her slip, she probably would have noticed.

“I got it from my mom.”

“What!?” she squeaked, her cheeks pink.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and God damn him for looking so good. He didn't even seem to react!

“The book, Sakura. Mother gave it to me.”

“Oh... OH. Yeah! The book!” She scratched the back of her head, laughing nervously, a very familiar gesture that reminded Itachi of a very loud blond.

“Of course, you got it from your mother! I mean, who else? It certainly wasn't your father who...” Seeing his curious and mischievous gaze Sakura caught herself: “ I mean... not that your father doesn't have a nice bu... book! I just don't look at his... library. hahaha omggg shut up!”

She hid her face in her hands, probably redder than the tomatoes Sasuke was fond of.

“I didn't say anything.” replied Itachi's soft and deep voice. The same one that was doing strange things to a part of her body she'd rather not think about right now.

“I KNOW! I...ugh!”

Before she could humiliate herself any further, her savior came in the person of another head of black hair. Except that his hair was short and had nice curls. Curls that Sakura often wanted to undo for her own pleasure. She felt a muscular arm wrap around her shoulder and the newcomer's breath tickles her ear.

“Hey there, princess. What's new under that pretty dress?”

Shisui joked. Shisui, an inveterate flirt and Itachi's older cousin by two years. He loved to tease Sakura, just for the fun of seeing her get all flustered and angry. The young woman elbowed him in the ribs muttering "my undergarments", which made the older man grunt and laugh as he released his arm to massage his ribs with one hand. He was still amazed at her strength even after all these years. He looked at Itachi who was watching the exchange with a look of exasperation but there was a certain fondness behind his obsidian eyes. You only noticed it if you knew where to look.

“Looks like you’re still harassing other students, Shisui.”

Shisui gave him a look.

“I don't know what you're talking about, I make friends everywhere I go.”

“STDs too.”

Sakura stifled her laughter, and masked it with a cough but she didn't miss the indignant look on the older Uchihas' face.

“I'll have you know that I'm very careful, my body is a temple!”

“The temple of stupidity, perhaps.”

This time Sakura couldn't contain her laughter and for good measure, Shisui pinched her ribs making her yelp in surprise. She narrowed her eyes and leaped at the man who had no trouble restraining her with just the palm of his hand placed on her forehead. He was so tall compared to her. She was cursing him for it.

“Easy, kitten. You're going to hurt yourself.”

“Shisui, you...” she ranted.

“What was that?”

His eyes shone with amusement as he watched the girl try to attack him. The little brat still managed to kick him in the shin. He automatically let go of her, grunting in pain while Sakura looked both smug and proud of herself as she crossed her arms against her chest.

“You better remember that cats scratch when provoked.”

His gaze suddenly darkened, a Cheshire smile stretching across his lips. He opened his mouth, a retort already on the tip of his lips but Itachi seemed to have noticed because he roughly grabbed the back of his cousin's shirt and made him sit on the bench.

“Shisui.” warned Itachi, his eyes narrowed. The older Uchiha rolled his own, he knew when not to mess with his cousin. Sakura's eyes flicked from one to the other, confused. the question written in her eyes. Shisui smiled at her, but didn't answer, he just shook his head, which made the girl frown at first, then she shrugged, dropping the subject.

“Anyway. I'm going to go get some water from the vending machine. Would either of you like me to bring a bottle or something?”

Itachi turned to her, his features smooth again, but he smiled kindly, politely as always.

“A bottle of water is fine with me. Thank you, Sakura.”

She nodded, then turned to the other Uchiha.

“How about you, Shi'?”

The man stood up from the bench and stretched his arms over his head, cracking a bone or two.

“Nah, I’m good, princess. I'll come with you. I forgot to pack a few things on the way here. Since I was looking for Itachi, I forgot them.”

Itachi snorted but made no further comment. In fact, he had returned his attention to his book. Sakura was pulled along by Shisui's arm as it wrapped around her slim waist. She let herself be led away after asking Itachi to keep her things until she comes back. He nodded, staring at them intently for a few seconds before resuming his reading.

***

With two bottles of fresh water in her hands, Sakura made her way back. She was alone when she returned. Shisui told her not to wait for him because he still had to get his stuff. She thought about her problem and decided to take advantage of Shisui's absence to confess her feelings to his cousin.

It didn't start well, to say the least. She made an absolute fool of herself. Just thinking about it made her cheeks flush. She hadn't lied, after all, he really did have a nice ass, but she hadn't wanted to say it out loud, let alone like that. It was probably nervousness that was making her act like a crazy person.

As she approached the spot where she had left Itachi and her things, she froze. The scene that greeted her stunned her. She quickly hid behind the closest tree and spied on what she hoped would not be a private moment.

She could see a beautiful girl, she looked vaguely familiar. Sakura was far enough away not to be seen, but close enough to catch a few snippets of their conversation.

“…A long time. I love you, Itachi. I thought maybe we could...”

Sakura couldn't see Itachi's face. All she could see was his back, his slender form, standing in front of the girl who was confessing her love for him. Sakura's heart sank. It wasn't surprising. Itachi was a remarkable guy, people would be crazy not to like him. Making sure to be silent, she leaned in to hear more of the conversation and recognized Izumi. Izumi was a very close friend of Shisui and Itachi. Sakura had heard a few years ago that she and Itachi had been involved but she didn't know if it was the truth or just unsubstantiated rumors. She didn't dwell on it at the time. Rumors could be harmful and she didn't want to be a part of that. Even less if it concerned one of her friends who is, moreover, the brother of one of her best friends.

She focused on them again, her heart beating faster due to the nervousness that knotted her stomach. She felt like a voyeur and it made her cringe, but she needed to know. Itachi must have said something, but it was far too low for her to hear. She frowned and decided to trust the expressions on the girl's face. The brunette took a step closer, one hand on his forearm. Itachi didn't seem to push her hand away or be bothered. There was... a certain familiarity in their gestures. Just the thought of it, Sakura's heart clenched even more. She hoped it wasn't what she thought it was... Unfortunately, all her fears came true before her eyes. She had only blinked, but apparently that was enough for her to miss something, because the next minute, Izumi was kissing the man Sakura loved.

She thought she heard a cracking sound before realizing that it must be the feeling of her heart being torn apart. Tears welled up in her eyes. Shit, shit, shit. Does he have a girlfriend? HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND? As in a girl he holds hands with and hugs and kisses and sleeps with ???? No. No. No. Don't think about it. If she didn't calm down, she might hyperventilate.

She had to get out of here. NOW. She couldn't watch this. It hurt too much. She was going to run, but then she remembered that her bag was still on the bench.

“Damn it.”

She couldn't leave without her bag. She needed it for her next class and on top of that, she still had Itachi's water bottle! She was screwed! She leaned her back against the tree trunk and took a deep breath. She was in pain, she felt like her stomach had just dropped and all her hopes and dreams had just been shattered.

“All right, breathe, Sak. It's going to be okay. Get a grip.”

She slowly counted to ten and fought back her tears, straightened her shoulders, and suppressed her pain as best she could. She moved on autopilot. Her body felt stiff, but it was the best she could do. She purposefully made her footsteps loud enough to attract the attention of the couple.

It was the sound of their lips parting that finally broke her. She wasn't quite looking at Itachi's eyes but rather at his chin. She couldn't look at him, not anymore.

Izumi was the first to react.

“Oh, Sakura! Hi! What are you doing here?”

Izumi looked flustered, her cheeks were pink. Sakura didn't know if it was because of the kiss or because she had interrupted them. It didn't matter. She cleared her throat and focused her attention on the older girl, a small smile on her lips. She congratulated herself for having managed to put one on. It was fake, sure, but it would do. She called it "Sai's smile" because she'd seen him use it enough times to know that it could fool a lot of people.

“Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.”

Huff, she's kissing the man I love and I still find a way to apologize for interrupting them!? Well done, Sakura. You'd make a great career in sadomasochism.

“I forgot my bag and I...”

she pointed to the bottle of fresh water in her hand and wordlessly handed it to Itachi who was staring at her with an intensity that her heart couldn’t bear. Itachi took the bottle and his long thin fingers brushed hers. Sakura hastily withdrew her hand, she fidgeted nervously, clutching her bottle to soothe the burn of his touch.

"Thank you."

Sakura nodded and picked up her bag. She offered an apologetic smile to the pair. Izumi seemed completely unaware of the tension. She gave her a bright smile.

“Your dress is really pretty, Saku. A date, perhaps?”

The brunette gave her a knowing wink and Sakura held back from telling her that she could have, but that she had just stolen the love of her life. Ugh, no. I'm being a drama queen again, the young woman thought.

“Oh, no! No, I just... Sometimes girls like to feel pretty.”

Izumi's expression softened and she nodded.

“You look beautiful.”

It was at that very moment that Sakura knew she could never hate Izumi. She was jealous, yes, but she couldn't find it in herself to hate her for taking the man she liked. Izumi was beautiful, smart, sweet, and kind, she had helped Sakura a few times in high school with her homework. She was a good-hearted person, and even though it hurt her to admit it, she could make Itachi happy. She could be good for him. How could Sakura compete? She wasn't going to try. Sakura wasn’t a homewrecker.

It was the brunette's voice that brought her back to reality.

“Isn't she, Itachi?”

Sakura felt her breath catch. God must really hate her right now. She had always been a decent girl, at least she liked to think so. She didn't dare meet his gaze at first, but finally, she did and her cheeks heated up. His obsidian orbs seemed to roam over her figure, but surely she must have imagined it. Like he was going to ogle her while his girlfriend was right there. He made a small noise of assent, nodding.

“You look lovely, Sakura.”

The pink-haired girl felt her heart racing and she blushed harder. He had no right to sound so hot when he complimented her or when he said her name like that. However, the joy disappeared as quickly as it came.

He had a girlfriend and probably just wanted to humor me. The pain seemed numb for now, but she knew it would come back later. When she was alone.

“T-thank you...”

There was a slight pause, then she said :

“I have to go. I'm gonna be late for class.”

She lied, but what else could she do? Stay here and watch them smooch? Take the pompoms from her old Halloween cheerleader costume while congratulating them on the skill of their tongue down each other's throats? She scoff. Yeah right. Rather die drowning in a puddle as Sasuke would say.

She put the strap of her bag over her shoulder and squeaked a quick “see you later” and left hurriedly. "Running away" was the right word really, but she wasn't feeling brave right now. She was running like she had the devil on her tail. She could almost swear she felt the burn of an onyx gaze fixed on her back but she was too much of a coward to check.

Today was not the day.

There would never be a day.

There was nothing left but her and her broken heart.

***

Two weeks.

Two fucking weeks. What Sakura would later call her drama queen era had already happened a fortnight ago. Fifteen days and her heart was still aching. She had tried to take her mind off it. She avoided Itachi like the plague. She congratulated herself for this ability because they had a few classes in common and it wasn’t an easy task! The black-haired man had tried to talk to her, but she had shied away every time. He had probably noticed that he didn't see her around as much anymore. He hadn't confronted her or even accused her of avoiding him or anything, but she knew he knew she was avoiding him.

Sakura didn't text him back anymore and when she did, the answers were very short. She no longer offered to stop by the local Starbucks, no longer joined him during lunch breaks like she sometimes did when she wasn't eating with the others and she was pretty sure Shisui had noticed the tension between them. She was still talking with Shisui. She liked Shisui, he hadn't done anything to her and it wasn't his fault that his cousin didn't return her feelings so it would be unfair to punish him.

Sakura wasn't punishing Itachi, not really, in fact, she just needed time. Time for herself and time to move on. Right now, it was too hard. The pain was still fresh and every time she saw him on campus, her chest clenched and she felt like crying...

She told Ino about it, and Ino-pig was a great comfort until Sakura emptied the pack of Kleenex. The blonde had pulled her best friend off the couch and told her they were going to go out and have fun. That Sakura was going to drink, dance, and shake her ass on the fucking dance floor! Ino's words, not hers.

It helped. A little. Sakura had been able to drown in alcohol if not drown in a puddle. She danced and she even remembered swaying her body against the body of a random guy. She wasn't sure. At first, she thought it was Ino because of his long high ponytail, but their shade of blonde was different. Not to mention he lacked cleavage so it couldn't be Ino-pig The memories of that night were a bit hazy, but she was pretty sure they had kissed and not just a little. He was a good kisser. That's all she could remember.

That and that the palms of his hands are tattooed. She remembered because he had a rather original tattoo and he had made a dubious joke about ninjas. That if he was one, he would have had a Jutsu with three tongues and would know where to place each one on her body. Sakura remembered giggling, probably because she was too drunk to care about his inappropriate joke.

Days passed and Itachi had managed to intercept her. He knew her schedule well enough, but Sakura had managed to slip away before she felt like crying. The conversation he had tried to have with her still hurt when she thought about it.

He had waited for her in the hallway and called out to her when he spotted her. She remembered turning her head and when his eyes had met hers, her heart stopped. He wasn't supposed to do that to her. She couldn't feel this way. Itachi was not hers.

“Sakura, About Izumi...”

No. No. NO. Please no. She felt the familiar burn behind her eyelids. The one that told her she was going to cry if she didn't run away right away. She interrupted him, taking it upon herself to smile at him, her voice a little too cheerful to be genuine.

“I'm happy for you! For both of you, I mean. You deserve to be happy and Izumi is a good girl. You two are the perfect match.”

“Really, Sakura?” snorted her inner voice.

At this point, she might as well give him the address of her florist so he can buy Izumi some flowers.

Itachi pursed his lips, his pretty lips... She wondered what his lips tasted like, were they soft?

I'll ask Izumi when we have a girls' night out. Sakura shook her head, dismissing her stupid thoughts. She wasn't going to ask anyone anything. She wasn't a masochist.

“It's not...”

“Oh! Sorry! I have to go! Naruto and Sasuke are waiting for me! I promised to join them! And you know your brother, he's grumpy when you make him wait! Ok? Ok! Bye!”

Sakura had almost run towards the exit and she didn't notice the expression on Itachi's face or that behind him, a little further away was Naruto and Sasuke leaning against the railings. He had noticed it because Naruto had just yelled some nonsense to his brother and his brother had hit him on the head to shut him up. And even without that, his ugly orange shirt made him noticeable in the crowd. So now he knew for sure that Sakura was avoiding him and that she wasn't even good at making up a good lie when she was panicked or caught off guard.

***

“She's avoiding us.”

Shisui snorted at him.

“No, she's avoiding YOU. She's still talking to me as far as I'm concerned. We shared some dango yesterday.”

“What?”

“Dango. You know that pastry you're fond of? With the green, pink and...”

“Not that, idiot. She’s not avoiding you?”

Shisui looked at his little cousin and sighed. This whole thing was going to give him a headache.

“Well no, she texts me back even when I send eggplant emojis.”

Itachi glared at him. He was only concerned because Sakura was still seeing and talking to his cousin on a daily basis while she had been avoiding him for the past two weeks and running away when he tried to work things out. He didn't like that.

“Why?”

“Dunno, maybe she likes my eggplant.” replied Shisui teasingly. He knew he was walking a tightrope, but the risk of being killed was worth it if it would provoke a reaction from his beloved cousin. Itachi did not disappoint him as he glared at him and if chakra existed, he was sure he would sense his best friend's killing intent.

“For a guy who's supposed to be a genius, you're pretty dumb.”

“Excuse me?”

Shisui raised his hands to soothe the murderous glint in Itachi's eyes. Geez, did he have to spell it out for him? And he was the one being called a fool? Go figure.

“She's not avoiding me because she has no reason to. Sadly for her, I'm not the one she's in love with. I mean, she must be a little messed up if it's you she likes best.”

Itachi looked at him flatly. He didn't have anything to prove so he wasn't going to react to his childishness. What did interest him however was Shisui's words about Sakura's feelings. He frowned, an unpleasant ache in his heart.

“What? You expect me to believe that you haven't noticed how awkward she can be when you're around? Please, Itachi! Last time she almost told you you had a nice ass.”

At his words, he turned sharply to his cousin who had a smug look on his face. He didn't like it. That meant... He narrowed his eyes.

“How long have you been spying on us, Shisui?” Itachi asked in an annoyed tone.

The Uchiha smirked.

“I wasn't spying. I was just watching two weasels dancing around each other. Have you ever watched a wildlife documentary about courtship display ?”

Itachi stared at him flatly for a long moment. He didn't believe his cousin's bullshit anymore. Shisui loved to gossip and thought he was a genius matchmaker when in truth, all his attempts to coach other men to seduce women ended in harassment complaints.

“It doesn't matter now anyway. I think she's seeing someone.”

“Sakura? our Sakura? What makes you say that?”

Itachi's gaze drifted away, thinking back to that man who had his hands all over her. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. At all.

“Last Friday night Sasuke called me to come and pick him up. He was out with Naruto and their friends. He was too drunk to drive, they all were, so he asked me to pick them up. As I walked into Katon's bar I saw Sakura kissing that guy. You know the tall blond guy with the ponytail who yells 'explosion' every time he smashes birthday balloons?”

“Um, the guy who’s studying art? Deidara?”

Itachi nodded, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the memory of his mouth on sakura's. Shisui suppressed his laughter, watching the obvious jealousy his cousin felt. Well, to be honest, it wasn't that obvious. Shisui only noticed it because he knew Itachi like the back of his hand.

“I'm sure it's nothing. You said they were all drunk. She did what all heartbroken girls do. She went out to have fun and forget that she was hurting. Flirting with a stranger while drunk is part of the game.”

“Or perhaps it's her boyfriend.”

“Don't be ridiculous. You told me she looked livid when she left. She saw you kissing Izumi.”

“It was Izumi who kissed me.” corrected Itachi.

“You didn't push her away.”

“I was too surprised to react and before I could do anything Sakura showed up.”

“You know Izumi has had feelings for you since we were like ten years old though. You guys dated in ninth grade, right?”

“It only lasted a year and a half. I realized that I didn't love her like that. I liked her a lot, but it wasn't enough. Something was missing.”

A sly smirk appeared on Shisui's lips. He remembered that time and his cousin wasn’t totally honest about the real reason behind the failure of his relationship. When a situation is viewed from an external perspective, it’s easier to be objective which is why shisui knew better.

“Actually you broke up with her when you found out that Sakura was dating Sasori. It had already been over a year when you found out. You should be more aware of your feelings and your surroundings, little cousin.”

“I still don't know what she saw in him back then.”

“Believe it or not, but I've heard that Sasori knows how to treat a woman. He's just adamant about punctuality. I remember that day when Sakura called totally freaked out because she was going to be late and she knew Sasori was ready to cancel their date.”

The older Uchiha clasped his hands together and fluttered his eyelashes like an enamored schoolgirl as he sighed like a young teenager pining for her prince charming.

“Oh, to be young and in love!”

Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated by his cousin's antics, but he especially hated that anecdote. He had been a hormonal teenager back then, but after that, he had become more sullen than he usually was.

“I didn't ask.”

“I noticed. You'd already be with your beloved if you had.”

“You only hear what you want to hear, don't you, Shisui ?” he asked dryly.

“Yeeep’ ”

“Hn.”

“Doesn't mean I'm wrong, though."

Itachi sighed, weary. This whole thing was going to give him a headache. He hadn't expected Izumi to still have feelings for him. She wanted to try again now that they had grown up. She thought they might have been a little young at the time, but that was irrelevant. When it's true love, you know it. You can't explain it.

He had loved Izumi, but he only understood the real meaning of that word with Sakura. And now his Sakura — no, she wasn't his — was somewhere out there probably kissing that Deidara. He couldn't expect Sakura to listen to him, nor could he order her to. In fact, he could, but it would be counterproductive.

He didn't know Sakura was interested in him. He had dismissed her attempts at flirting as clumsiness. After all, Sakura had always been a bit clumsy. He became fully aware of her feelings when he recognized that broken look in her eyes, even though she had tried to hide it. It was the same look he had seen in the mirror 4 years ago when he found out that Sasori was Sakura's boyfriend.

He closed his eyes, resting his head against his pillow. He felt tired, sad, and a little desperate about the whole situation if he was honest with himself. He didn't know what to do to make her listen to him, to make her understand that nothing was going on with Izumi. He had been frank with the brunette about it. It was the right thing to do. He loved another woman after all.

“...Chi... Itachi! Are you listening to me?!”

“No. Your voice is drowned out by the agonized cries of my soul.”

“Alright, that’s enough, Charles Baudelaire. Man up. Why don't you go recite your poetry to your girlfriend? I'm sure she'll love it.”

“She's not my girlfriend.” Yet.

“Go get her, Itachi. And stop moping around. You're getting too old to play the angsty teenager.”

“ I'm not moping."

“ Sure, whatever you say.”

***

Sakura was studying in the library. She had an assignment to do and had to concentrate without getting distracted. She was surrounded by books, her MacBook, and a notepad. There were also some stabilos and pens scattered on the table. This assignment had put Itachi out of her mind, well not really, but Sakura liked to live in denial. She didn't know when she'd move on, but she was trying. Nothing good would come of this if she kept pining for a man who was already taken. She'll have no part of it, thank you very much.

Sakura rubbed her eyes and let her gaze wander over the other students for a moment. The sun had been down for a little while now. She had been there for hours. At first, she hadn't been alone, Shikamaru, Chôji, and Temari had kept her company. Temari was working on an essay, Shikamaru was sleeping with his arms crossed on the table and Choji was eating his potato chips.

Later, when they left, it was Ino-pig who joined her with Sai. She'd wanted to convince Sakura to take a break and go to the smoothie bar. She needed a smoothie but she declined, too busy. They didn't stay more than fifteen minutes before leaving. Sakura could be very stubborn when she wanted to be.

Then came Sasuke and Naruto. They had stayed longer than the others, but they ended up being kicked out of the library because Naruto was laughing too loudly. They'd agreed to meet later, but Sakura would probably be too tired so she suggested the next day instead.

She had felt Sasuke's gaze on her. He has noticed a change in her behavior over the past couple of weeks. She wouldn't be surprised if he knew. Uchiha Sasuke was a surprisingly perceptive guy. He just didn't meddle in other people's business, but he often watched like a hawk.

She'd rather not have this conversation with him. What would she say to him anyway? “Hi, Sasuke! Did you watch the third episode of House Of the Dragon? Oh, by the way, I'm in love with your brother and I want to ride his dick until he passes out.” She snorted. As if. She still values her life, thank you very much. Dying murdered by her childhood friend wasn’t on the agenda.

Anyway, Izumi was probably already taking care of it. She felt a twinge of sadness at the thought and closed her eyes.

Would this annoying pain ever go away? If only Itachi was ugly but of course, he had to put her through hell with his heavenly beauty. Who had such thick and long eyelashes anyway? Or such silky hair? A mouth so tempting? A body so... No. Naughty, naughty, Sakura! She mentally slapped herself, yet it did nothing to assuage the heat rising within her core.

“Sakura ?”

Here he comes. The bane of her existence.

The man who occupied all her thoughts. Prettier than ever. Looking serious and... Wait. Why was he staring at her like that? The tension between them became palpable. Surely this is what happens when a friend avoids you for weeks.

“Itachi. What are you doing here?”

He gave her a look as if to say: “Are you for real? What’d you think a library is for, silly?”

Sakura felt her face heat up. So God really did hate her. Perhaps she was a foolish girl after all.

“Riiight.”

A more awkward silence settled down on them. She now was getting very uncomfortable. Sakura had to control herself to stay still in her chair and under his piercing gaze.

“Well if that's all...”

“We need to talk.”

That surprised her, but she quickly regained her composure.

“About what?”

His mouth set in a grim line. Uh-oh. Itachi is not happy. Good. That makes two of us. She wasn't thrilled that he was dating someone else, but did she make a scene about it? NO. Because she was a selfless woman and she wanted him to be happy even if it wasn't with her.

“ Sasuke told me you were dating Deidara.”

Sakura scoffed. This time she knew he was lying. Not because it showed on his face. His expression was blank. It was his voice that gave him away, specifically his wary tone. Besides, it was unlikely that his brother had said anything to him. Sasuke didn't meddle in other people's business, and he was too stoned to remember what they had done last Friday night.

“No, he didn't. Sasuke was too drunk, he didn't even remember calling you to take him home.”

He narrowed his eyes at her in a glare, sending shivers down Sakura's spine. His already sour mood seemed to darken.

“So you don't deny it?”

She raised her eyebrow at him, and tilted her head slightly to one side, mimicking this habit she had noticed in Itachi countless times over the years.

“Should I?”

“I just thought friends talked about stuff like that.”

Sakura scoffed. Again.

“Really? I can't remember a time when you told me about one of your girlfriends. What? You've had so many that you can't remember their names?”

It was a low blow, she admits, but she was jealous and hurt. Give the poor girl a break! It's because of him that her heart is aching. She was trying to forget him, to move on, but seeing him now wasn't going to help.

“It was uncalled for, Sakura.” He replied with annoying calm.

“What about you? Since when do you care about who I date?”

“I told you, friends—”

“Cut the crap! What is this really about?”

If possible, Itachi's expression became even more cold and distant. She shuddered. She didn't like the way he turned off his emotions. It seemed so easy for him. It was as if he flipped a switch. Frankly, she was beginning to wonder if he wasn't a Salvatore. It would be easier for Sakura if she was able to do that. It wouldn't hurt so much at least.

“I just wanted to let you know as a good friend, that your boyfriend was making out with another girl over there.”

The way he had emphasized the words "good friend" stung. She got the message. She knows she hasn't been a good friend these past two weeks, but he couldn't understand. He hadn't seen the person he loved kiss another girl.

“What !?”

With a tilt of his head, Itachi showed her where to look. Sakura turned around and saw the blond from last Friday. It looked like he was doing some archaeological digging in the brunette's throat…Wait. Is that Kurotsuchi? She was also an exchange student, but unlike Temari, Kuro was from Iwa. She looked back at Itachi, not wanting to feel like a voyeur. She realized that he was staring at her intently. Huh. Was he expecting a hysterical reaction or something? Fine. She could give him one. Or try to anyway.

“I feel devastated.”

She wasn't.

The Uchiha stared at her. Sakura's flat tone probably hadn't helped her performance. To be fair, she was tired and had been working for hours.

“I can see that.”

“I’m internally crying. I'll probably hyperventilate and go into hypoglycemia even though I'm not diabetic, but Deidara hurt me so much that my blood sugar is low now.”

“I don't think diabetes works that way, Sakura.”

Something had changed in his demeanor, his shoulders were more relaxed and his eyes glinted with amusement and mischief. What the hell !? Sakura frowned.

“Nobody likes a know-it-all, Itachi.”

“You’d know about that.”

Sakura glared at him.

“What's that supposed to mean!?”

Itachi tilted his pretty head but didn't even bother to answer. He just stood there, watching her like a creep - a hot creep. His silence was getting on Sakura's nerves and she finally snapped.

“What ?!”

“I didn't say anything.”

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him and he had the sense that she was analyzing him now, looking for hidden meanings. Sakura folded her arms across her chest, unconsciously protecting her heart from the intensity of his gaze, shielding it from him. Her heart was beating so fast that she wondered if Itachi could hear it.

“You don't need to. So, what's this about?"

“Maybe I'm just in a good mood.”

She snorted.

“Or you’re just lunatic. When you came in you looked like you were ready to wipe out a country.”

“ I thought we had already established that I am a pacifist, Sakura.”

“Did you win the lottery or something? Because that's the only thing that could explain the delighted look on your face.”

He huffed out an amused sound.

“There's something I'd like to win, but its value is priceless.”

His eyes looked straight into hers. Her heartbeat quickened. What the... He didn't mean...? She let her gaze wander around, making sure it was her he was talking to and that Izumi wasn't behind her or somewhere nearby... Wait. Izumi. Anger replaced excitement. Sakura's usually warm eyes hardened into a glare. Having spent years being Sasuke's friend had its advantages, he was good at giving cold looks to his classmates or anyone really. Itachi himself seemed surprised by this sudden change.

“What the fuck are you playing at, Itachi?”

“Sakura...”

She cut him off harshly: “Is this your way of getting back at me for avoiding you for the past two weeks?”

He seemed genuinely offended now.

“Of course no—”

“That's cruel. And not just to me, but to Izumi. Do you even remember her? A pretty brunette. The same one you kissed under a tree. Your girlfriend. My friend.”

Now that Sakura had snapped, she wasn’t going to stop. She continued without even paying attention to what Itachi might say or to prying ears:

“Maybe I was wrong to ignore you, but that's no reason to act that way. You say we're friends, but do friends do this? You say we're friends and yet you're trying to… to what exactly? Is this supposed to be flirting? You have a girlfriend for God's sake !”

Sakura shook her head before letting out a humorless laugh. She stood up and began to quickly gather her things into her backpack. She had been wrong, in fact, that was what hurt the most. Even seeing Itachi kiss another girl had hurt less. It was worse now because he was giving her false hope. The possibility of a "what if?"

She could feel her eyes burning with unshed tears. She really needed to stop crying. At this point, with all the tears she was shedding, she was more of a tap than a human, and yet that didn't stop her from continuing her rant in front of a speechless Itachi. He could feel the panic rising in him. Oh, God. Nothing was going as planned.

“You know, I thought you were different. Part of me still does. The most naive part for sure. The same part that was stupid enough to fall in love with you. Let's be honest, Itachi, we're not the kind of friends who talk about their dates. I, I don't even think we were really friends to begin with. Maybe at first, when we were kids and you were helping me make sandcastles. But now? None of my friends would have been so cruel. I don't even want to be your friend anymore. I don't want to be your friend.”

Sakura's pain echoed so deeply in Itachi's heart that he might as well have been the one breaking into pieces. He'd never seen Sakura in such an emotional state. He was too stunned to say anything. Her words stung. It was like a stab in the heart. He watched helplessly. The worst part came when he heard her voice break and tears flood her cheeks. Even lost in the chaos, he found her divine. Her emotions were in their rawest form. They were intense, pure. On display for all to see and admire. This is what he had always loved about her. Her authenticity. When Sakura moved, the world moved with her. She was like a center of gravity. Like the sun. She warmed the coldest souls and enveloped them in her light. Sakura personified nature itself. Unpredictable. Sometimes calm, sometimes wild. It was easy to bask in the warmth of her smile, to find in her a safe haven.

Sakura was oblivious to Itachi's turmoil, she was unaware of his struggle and thoughts, she just wanted to run away, get it over with, and try to mend her heart when all was said and done. That’s why she couldn’t believe the next words that spewed out of her mouth ;

“Every time I look at you, it hurts. It hurts so much. I can't be your friend anymore and you can't be mine, b-because, I don't want to melt into my friends' embrace or breathe in their scent. I don't want to kiss my friends, I don't imagine a future with them. I don't dream of touching and being touched by them. Not in that way. Not in the way I dream, not in the way I long for you.

You have to understand! I didn't avoid you to hurt you! I did it to protect myself! Do you know how much it broke me to see you kissing Izumi? It took me months to decide to confess and the day I finally mustered up the courage to do it, all my hopes were destroyed. I mean, it's not like I expected you to actually share my feelings or anything! But at least I always had a little hope.

Honestly, Itachi, I've loved you for so long that it's painful for me to walk away. I’m just… so obsessed with you. Don't get me wrong, it's not an "I'd kill your parents to have you for myself" kind of obsession but more like “You’re in my head all the time, at this point, you should be paying rent.”

These two weeks were useless. I thought with time and space I would get over it, but it's not enough. It still hurts to look at you. It still hurts to hear your voice. If you could have been mute or ugly, it would have helped at least.

In the end, I think I love you a little too much. You're not easy to forg— EEP !”

Itachi moved before she even realized it. She found herself pressed against the hard outline of his body and his lips claimed hers. The passion in his kiss set her mind spinning and made her moan. She closed her eyes, feeling the man cupping her face with his warm palms, a loose strand of his hair brushing against her face.

She clung to his shirt, desperate for more. Desperate for his kisses, for his hands that moved over her curves to grab her hips. Desperate but mostly eager for his touch, for him. She'd waited so long for this moment. Sakura had never wanted anything so much in her life. And his mouth….God, his mouth. His taste, his smell, his warmth… All the questions she had about Itachi, about his kissing skills, were answered and the pink-haired girl was more than satisfied.

She couldn't think straight, and neither could he if she trusted his body's reaction. She was hot all of a sudden. She had felt desire before. But this? Itachi was on a whole other level. She could have ripped off his clothes, she wanted to. Sakura had known him almost all her life but now she wanted to know him differently, more intimately. Unfortunately, they were interrupted by wolf whistles, shocked gasps, and even by a throat clearing. The librarian who was behind the throat-clearing seemed quite irritated by the show Itachi and Sakura were putting on.

After one more kiss, they reluctantly broke apart. Sakura's lips felt swollen and tingly, and her chest was rising and falling rapidly. Her hair was slightly disheveled and her dress a little crumpled. Desire shone in her eyes, and he knew it was reflected in his. Itachi could barely catch his breath under the impact of that intense kiss.

Itachi had gotten so caught up in the moment that he'd forgotten they were in a very public place surrounded by students who were neither deaf nor blind and that they’d probably be talking about this all over the university by tomorrow.

The black-haired Uchiha fought against the blush threatening to heat his cheeks. She loved him. Haruno Sakura was in love with him. He hadn't imagined it, had he? No, he hadn't. He fixed his clothes and hair and shifted on his feet, trying to ignore the growing bulge in his pants. He told himself that his body's reactions were perfectly normal, especially when the girl he'd wanted for years was pressing her soft and delicious curves against his body.

His deep onyx gaze landed on Sakura. Damn, she was a vision. Her lips were swollen from their kisses, her silky pink hair mussed, and her dress wrinkled. She looked like a woman who had been thoroughly ravished, though, of course, she hadn't—not quite.

Itachi could easily picture her lithe, slender body against Egyptian cotton sheets.

“WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE !? We do not condone this outrageous behavior here, this is a decent place! I will report this! I want you out of here. Both of you, get out NOW !”

Sakura's face was beet red. She ignored the stares from the other students. Holy crap! What had they done? Got completely carried away, that's what. She had felt Itachi's hand make its way up her thigh and near the hem of her dress before they got interrupted. It had set her body on fire, but she was no better; she still remembered the feeling of his obliques and abs beneath her fingers and had felt him shiver under her touch.

It had clearly gotten out of hand. Sakura would rather avoid being arrested for public indecency, thank you very much. She still has a few years of school left, so she might as well not be known as the girl who almost fucked in the library.

“Omg, I’m so sorry! We got... carried away!”

Suddenly, a man's voice arose from somewhere close by, a voice that sounded strangely familiar:

“Ya think? Your panties were ready to drop, princess.”

Sakura blushed furiously, embarrassed and outraged at his inappropriate comment, but she narrowed her eyes as she recognized the voice.

“Shut up, Shisui!” She barked.

Shisui threw back his head and let out a deep throaty laugh “you’re welcome.” He said, his dark eyes glinting with amusement as if he knew something she didn't.

“Ugh. This is so embarrassing and that jackass makes it even more awkward.” she muttered under her breath, but clearly enough for Itachi to hear.

Itachi hummed in agreement, smirking. He himself was annoyed with his cousin, but he knew he wouldn't be here if the older Uchiha hadn't told him that he had to do something before it was too late.

“I apologize. We're going to ’get out of here’ as you so kindly put it and go somewhere more... private.”

The librarian was still irritated by their display of “youthful vigor” as one of her eccentric colleagues liked to call it.

“I’ll make an incident report about your misconduct.”

Itachi arched a single eyebrow, far from being bothered. He even had the nerve to scoff at her.

“Make a report about what? About a man in love who kissed the woman he loves? With all due respect, you're going to waste your time. I can name a dozen students who have done more than kissing or are currently kissing in this library. And most of them haven't even hidden well. If you'll excuse me, my girlfriend and I have a lot to talk about.”

Without backing down and with all the dignity of an Uchiha, Itachi gently grabbed the hand of a dazed Sakura. Did she hear him right? Did he just say that he was in love with her? She was feeling like she had butterflies in her stomach, and she was blushing like crazy. A stupid smile spread across Sakura’s lips. She squeezed Itachi's hand and he squeezed back. Well, it seems she has a boyfriend now. They’ll have to talk about that later though, but her response was more than obvious.

“Come, Sakura.” he said softly as he led her towards the exit when suddenly a voice came out of nowhere:

“Oh, she will!”

Itachi felt the vein on the side of his temple pulsing, his brow twitching in sheer irritation. He was going to kill Shisui. He had other cousins anyway. The fool was in the mood to say hello to Queen Elizabeth II sooner than expected, it seemed.

He had better things to do than entertain his cousin. He had to entertain Sakura. His Sakura. Nothing else mattered to him right now, and judging by the unmistakable heat in her eyes, they were on the same page.

They heard ridiculous cheers and wolf whistles as they left.

But that didn't matter to Sakura because Itachi loved her back. Uchiha Itachi had kissed her senselessly and had made her knees buckle.

Today was indeed the day.

[rinhaler]

hi hi i’m from like one of the first toxic! megumi questions i was rlly nervous dk why, anyways! i have a few questions you don’t have to answer them all though. 1: so like i’m pretty sure megumi was the first to cheat right? correct me if i’m wrong. 2: how do you think megumi & reader could better their relationship?? 3: has megumi ever cheated on reader with any of her “friends”?

omg I probably said before but don't be nervous to talk to me ever I'm just a gworl with a computer I love talking to u guys abt stuff!! whether it's my fics or just life things :3 BUT THESE ARE ALL SUCH GOOD QUESTIONS THANK YOU NONNIE

I'm not sure if I specified how the cheating started but honestly Megumi being the first wouldn't surprise me but imagine if it was the reader 😭 I feel like if it was her he'd be like 'oh okay this is what we're doing' and then just take it too far and this is how they are where they are now 😬 (again it's been a while since I read that fic so if I specified either way feel free to let me know but adghgfdhgf). I don't know why the reader would cheat first but I think they're both very sexual people and we know they like to use it as a weapon with each other and against each other.

I think a lot of people who read this fic immediately pin blame on Megumi as being the worst and being awful and blah blah (he is) but the reader is just as bad. She can be very manipulative and cruel in that sense, she's definitely the type to use people to get what she wants and she doesn't really care who gets in her way or gets hurt. Hence why she didn't feel any qualms about sleeping with Yuuji, knowing he's Megumi's best friend. She made that decision knowing that Megumi would be pissed with them both but likely take more of his aggression out on Yuuji later down the line and destroy their friendship. The reader knows she and Megumi always forgive each other, so really, there's nothing she can do that would result in losing him. Their relationship is very toxic and co-dependent, they're addicted to each other.

I'm not sure if there is a way for them to repair their relationship without breaking up. I think maybe if they spent some real time apart to work on themselves and iron out the issues with their own behaviours and attitudes towards other people they might be able to reconcile and have a healthier relationship. However, I do think Megumi in this particular AU is very methodical and set in his ways in regards to relationships. And the fact that he knows everything he does keeps her yearning for him, I don't think he'd have any desire to change and I don't think he'd be able to keep away from her for long enough to make any real progress towards betterment.

To be honest I think he is on the yandere scale to some degree because whenever they have their little breaks he stalks her every move. Not always physically but he will almost always know where she is, what she's doing, who she's with, whether it's from following her or checking her socials or getting his friends to spy on her when he isn't around, he's got ears everywhere. He'd never be willing to let her go, I'm not sure what she could do to make him want nothing to do with her, but it's the same for her. They're very icky and toxic but they are kind of perfect for each other since they're both shitty people LMAO

Your third question is my favourite because to be honest I think the reader doesn't have friends of her own anymore. He has fucked them all. Not even because he thinks they're attractive or even close to being as hot as her. It's purely out of spite and leaning a little on that manipulation scale too because he knew after the first friend he fucked she wasn't going to leave him. And the fact that he's fucked all of her friends has completely isolated her from anyone who can make her see sense. She blames them rather than him. In her mind she's told them what he's like so they shouldn't have given him the time of day if they are truly her friends. She knows Megumi is shitty, she knows this is the type of thing he would do, so she doesn't hold him accountable. It's her friend's fault entirely.

The only friends she has now are also Megumi's friends. And they're never gonna say a bad word against him, not really. They may see how awful their relationship is but she is his property to do with what he pleases.

LOOOOOOVED these questions thank you so much nonnie 🥺 sorry for rambling I hope I didn't bore you with all of this gkfahlgahslgh love ur big brain and fun questions :P I can talk about my AUs allllll day so if there's anything else u wanna know u know where i am :3 PLS DON'T BE NERVOUS ILY BBY have a beautiful day!!!

[wafflesetc]

""... I’ve got my own thoughts on that whole thing, but that’s for another post. At the end of the day, I think we’ll get more by the end of the season. I just don’t know what, or if we’ll like it. But time will tell. ""

Can't wait to see that post, I would love to hear your thoughts. I totally agree with you I think what happens to Hailey and Jay will really depend on what Tracy does. And I don't think we will like the outcome if she stays but I really don't want Tracy to leave as well. So many conflicting thoughts. What Tracy said in that interview to Emily is always in the back of my head so I am just going to prepare for the worst and if anything else happens it will be a positive surprise. On the other hand if they were going to separate I still don't understand why they just couldn't do it at the beginning, it would have changed nothing in this Hailey story line.

Hi, I am sorry this has taken a few days to answer. Life got a little hectic. I am going to start by saying - this is all purely speculation and my own ideas.

Ultimately, I am not going to be completely shocked whether she decides to go or if she decides to stay. She has something special with PD. It's a great cast, great crew, on a long time running procedural drama. It's stability in a sense for an actor, so is that something she wants to give up. She's got something that some actors search for a long time for and she's only been there for five years, where everyone else has been there just about a decade. I could see how that might be something she's not ready to give up yet.

However, I can see where she may be itching to start branching out. Her article with Michigan Ave last year she talked about writing and producing. Then as you mentioned, her interview with Emily. (I am not Emily's biggest fan - soI don't take much credibility in that article, but still, I do count it to a small extent). I also see what they are doing to Hailey this season. They are putting her through the wringer, since her husband has left. On a professional level, that has to be exhausting, constantly taking Hailey to these emotional, physical depths has at some point start to get exhausting. On a personal level, her best friend, screen partner of nearly five years is gone too - the entire day at work looks different. So she's adjusting to a whole new personal level of set while also dealing with Hailey finding a new normal. It's got to be taxing. So the end of the day, which one wins?

I'm not sure, and I can't really tell yet. But like I said, either way, I don't think I will be fully surprised.

The thing with Upstead for me is this: they didn't have to do this, but they did. They could have chosen to transfer him within the CPD, they could have separated them at the beginning, etc. It would still make this hard for her no matter what.

I think if Tracy stays, things will probably go in a way we don't like. If she doesn't stay, well I could see them riding of into the sunset. (There is also the third option, the more hail Mary move I'd argue, where she does stay, somehow he comes home off camera and they stay together - but given how they are already handling him being gone, I just don't really see this option right now….But they could fool us. )

So yes, that's more or less my thoughts on Tracy right now.

Personally, I want her to stay because I love Hailey. I also want her to go because I'd love to see her spread her wings. Regardless of all of that, I hope she does chose what she wants to do.

I’d say that whatever the decision is, would probably be made by now, or there’s a general consensus between her and the writers on where she is headed/leaning towards so that they have the time to *properly* write her off if she is leaving.

[arkyv4]

HAI! I'm ALEX, an eighteen-year-old who is lost and confused about... everything.

Not-so-fun facts about me: I LOVE books—specific fictional books that allow me to escape my confusion and responsibilities (I really shouldn't be doing that, given I'm the firstborn, and yet here I am), and self-help books that ease the confusion of life and my own mind—sometimes.

I'm also a sucker for fluffy romance and Slice of Life genres. Contemporary romances, YA books. Don't get me started on classic books—this is only my own perception, but reading classics is like reading a math textbook. I love to watch classic movies, though.

I like my romance tropes—EXCEPT SECOND-CHANCES THAT ESPECIALLY INCLUDES CHEATING AND ANY OTHER "ACCIDENTAL" MISTAKES, MISCOMMUNICATION, AND LOVE TRIANGLES (Either kill me or I kill myself. No in between).

I'm a CARAT and an ARMY (The best decision I've ever had in 2020 and 2023). And I of course love Taylor Swift.

I draw, but I'm too lazy to improve my skills. I love doing art, and I am willing to learn every art medium there is—If I magically manifest some kind of permanent motivation at will, that is (It sucks being in a creative slump after 2-3 days of hyperfixation over something spectacular.

I am a pathological people pleaser due to a traumatic experience in the past, which is a pretty formative one for an eight-year-old little girl. But hey, kids are kids! Naive. Ignorant. Clueless about the effect they inflict on the kids they bully, unknowing that that little girl they bullied would grow up insecure to the core, desperately trying to become useful so others won't hate her and won't think of her as some kind of burden, and become friends with her. Those kids don't know that she will claw her eyes out and nitpick every mistake she's made as punishment, that she will self-sabotage great relationships because she's afraid people will leave her eventually, so she does it first.

Really clueless.

(Still, kids are kids—innocent, little monsters).

I am suspected of having ADHD—which I affectionately call DAVE—"Dopamine Attention Variability Executive dysfunction."

I am a lost girl in this fast-changing world. And then something happened. The impact was decidedly strong, so strong that my world shattered into nothingness. Ruins. There was nothing left. Not even a single flicker of who I am was left. The worst part is: that I had no idea who I really was. I was... Well, to put it in words, NOT me.

That world... It was based on the people I met. The likes. The opinions. Depending on who I'm currently associating with, that's who I am.

I became other people.

This post... It will serve as my starting point to begin again, to try and know ME.

Ofc without the pressure of keeping it up daily. Daily is impossible.

And I hope that whoever I end up being, the people I love will still accept me and love that ME for who she is.

(Credits to the owner of the photo)

[star-ver]

im coming down from a weak and lame high and my period started so im all emotional and i just gotta get all my emotion out while i can feel it at all.

TW VENT

i am so lonely. my boyfriend and i dont communicate well at all but we just got together and i shouldnt have accepted but i did so i feel too bad to break up with him. i dont love him. i like him as a friend, but nothing more. the only reason i really hung out with him anyway was a mutual friend and the fact that i felt skinnier around him. my best friend at school spends tons of time talking with him and theyre each others best friends. i want romance so bad. i want the feeling that not allowed makes me feel. i want to be understood and loved and i want to cry into someones shoulder and have them stroke my hair and tell me its not my fault my life is falling apart and that its okay to need a break. i cant be vulnerable to either of my parents and im not close enough with any of my friends to be open about my life with them. even my art teacher, the person i would probably be most comfortable talking about this with, is a mandatory reporter so i cant tell him about half of my problems. maybe i should just have him ask my parents to admit me. i might fare better in the loonhouse, honestly. i have nobody.

half of my life is crumbling, my and my mom's housemate who we depend on for half of rent has terminal cancer. in 2-3 months we're going to have to find a room mate or we wont be able to make rent for the last 6 months of the lease. after those 6 months well almost certainly have to move somewhere. i stay with my mom half time. i really want to live with my dad full time but i cant exactly tell my mother who is already convinced everyone wants to leave her that i want to leave her too. she has hurt me so much. she deadnames me every time i see her. she gave me this disorder and probably more im too numb to realize im losing to.

i get high so often just to cope with all this that im almost out and i barely get high at all anymore. i genuinely dont know what ill do. i wont make it through a month long t-break. i need to get more or find a different coping mechanism. i cant quit. i wont be open about my age here but i am definitely too young to be smoking pot and far far too young to be dependent on it. god i wish i could be a normal teenager. my memory is completely fried and i cant even remember what i was doing 2 hours ago 90% of the time. its my reputation at school, laid back forgetful stoner kid. its a cry for help is what it is, that i cant get through even 4 days without having to drown my problems in drugs. i wish my friends would notice instead of thinking im funny. im really fucking struggling. i tried alc a few days ago and i know its only a matter of time before i get addicted to that too.

both my households are broke. my dad has a good job and hes still more broke than normal. my mom put all our money into govt bonds, then our housemate got injured at work and had to stay home. he never healed because shocker, he has cancer. he probably wont live past february.

im so fucking bad at being ano. i binge almost every time i smoke from munchies and impaired decision making. i barely lose any weight because of it. ill restrict all day then i smoke to settle down and i eat everything and then wake up with my progress ruined feeling gross. the worst part is that i forced myself into this as punishment for being fat. i didnt develop it. something in my crazy ass brain decided to indulge in my self hatred and just opt for dying over self love and healthy weight loss. worst yet is that i forced myself into it and i cant even stick to it. im a fucking failure. i cant love myself and i cant fix myself. im just doomed to hate my current form that i cant shake because i cant restrict low enough for change. i want to sew my lips shut and live in my room living off of vape and black coffee like the good obedient people in thinspi. they have discipline. theyre skinny. theyre loved. theyre worshipped. they have everything i want. i try so hard to be good. i try so hard. most of my day is spent thinking about my weight and calories and how much i burn walking around vs sitting down. im gonna be home for 2 weeks in a few days and i am not going to lose any weight the whole time because i have no discipline and ill be home all day.

a few days ago in math class i got so fed up i took a pencil and scratched my skin until it was a bright red scrape. i was clean for like 6 months. and now i want to do it more, as a punishment. i want to be visually sick. i want people to look at me and want to help me, ask me if im doing okay, offer me a granola bar because i look faint. i want to look as sick as i feel. i feel pressured to sh because its the only way to show how fucked up i am on the inside. its another cry for help. its just another example of me wanting to sit in between recovery and death.

and lastly, i forgot my phone at my dads house and we never went to get it. this is how i felt all of 2020 when my phone got taken away because i was too tired and depressed to get any work done. its fucking terrible. now its almost 6 in the morning and i have to be up by 10am to get it, fuck fuck fuck. whatever. im about to fall asleep. thats enough girlblogging. goodnight/morning tumblr.

[stressedoutcanary]

Do You Ever Feel Like A Misfit (Everything Inside You Is Dark & Twisted)

Dick Grayson x Reader

Word Count: 3.5K (I don't know how tf that happened)

Warnings: Explicit language, Blood and Violence, lots of angst, Hurt/Comfort ✌

A/N: Guess who's back! Just for some context the reader is a magic user and her style is similar to that of Zatanna <3

•°•°•°•°

She’d have reasoned with herself that stealing from one of the most secure and heavily guarded safe-houses of a deranged sociopath was probably not the brightest idea she’s had all day. It never even made it on her to-do-list for the weekend, but here she was, running across rooftops, holding on to the stolen totem like her life depended on it, it probably did. The three assassins sent after her were no Lady Shiva or Talia Al Ghul but they weren’t exactly amateurs either. The deep cuts and two broken ribs she got from their earlier encounter were proof of that.

She glanced back and even though there was no sign of her would-be-killers she knew better than to assume they’d just let her be. They were sticking to the shadows, exploiting her blind spots. The only thing she was sure of was that they were still hot on her trail and would happily plunge a dagger into her back given the opportunity.

She was right. As of this moment she hated being right.

She caught the glint of the two sharp objects slicing through the air, hurtling towards her at full speed. A slight shift of her upper body was all she could manage as one of the daggers got embedded right into her scapula while the other one, fortunately so, whirled past her, slightly grazing her left hip. The impact of the blade on her shoulder made her lose what little balance she had left. Despite her best efforts, when the wounded shoulder made contact with the hard concrete, a loud, ear-piercing cry ripped out from her throat before she could push it back down.

Cursing under her breath she knew, she knew all she had were those few seconds of numbness and disorientation to get a grip and figure out her exit strategy. However, all her hopes started to sink as she saw one of the assassins come closer, appearing more of a blur than a person. Then again that was probably because of the nice, little concussion she got from her fall. The assassin walked over to her, unsheathed their sword and placed it right on her neck, blocking any and every way out.

“You were warned. The Demon’s Head does not tolerate treachery. We are here under his orders to bring back the totem along with the witch’s head; your head”

If she could, she would’ve rolled her eyes at the classic villainous dialogues thrown at her.

“Witch? Who’re you calling a witch Snow White? I’m clearly a sorceress, don’t they teach you the difference between the two in assassin school or something? Hell, I’d even let you call me an enchantress, though that name’s already been taken but you get my poin-” 

The remaining words died in her throat as the sword on her neck shifted slightly. She knew she had extremely poor self preservation skills considering she’s clearly been instigating the very person sent to kill her, but even she wasn’t dumb enough to keep talking when the tiniest movement on either part could result in her having a severed jugular or carotid. 

‘This is a pretty shitty way to die’ 

She thought back to how she used the last of her mystic energy to hide the totem away before her fall and how stupid that decision really was because now she could actually feel the agonizing pain coming from her shoulder. It started to spread throughout her back like wildfire, eyelids grew heavy against her wishes. Suddenly she felt really tired and the idea to close her eyes just felt so goddamn appealing. 

‘No (Y/N) that’s the blood loss talking. Blood loss doesn’t get to make decisions’, she mentally scolded herself, still not breaking her eye contact with the person standing above her.

“Give us what you stole and we shall grant you the mercy of a quick death.”

That made her raise an eyebrow, “Ah, lemme think...the correct response here would be…”, she hummed, making a show of how hard she was thinking about the offer she was granted, “How about a fuck you? How would that do for you?”, she gave them a vicious grin, it was all teeth.  They probably weren’t impressed by her response and it showed.

She knew there was no way out but she had promised herself once that if she were to die, that if she ever goes out, she’d be anything but a whimpering and sobbing mess. She was scared shitless, more so than she’d ever been while fending off the league, she won’t deny that but she would rather die than let them know that.  ‘Well at least I got that ‘rather die’ part down to a T.’ she thought, eyeing the sharpness of the blade which was now raised up in the air

She felt bad for just giving up the way she did. Her whole life she was told to fight her way through the impossible, to attain the strength rivaling that of Zatanna Zatara, John Constantine and Doctor Fate himself. To be better than them, and there she was lying on the ground limp as a sword came down on her throat; all for a silly necklace. She would’ve huffed out a laugh if only her ribs weren’t broken, if only her body wasn’t screaming in pain, if only she had a way out. She didn’t. She was too tired, too drained, too numb to do anything else. Closing her eyes she stopped fighting, she let her growing unconsciousness claim her.

‘This is what you deserve anyway’, her barely there conscience remarked.

‘Fuck you too.’ she replied.

Everything went pitch black. The darkness encompassing her was peaceful, unlike the pain she had felt before. It was nice for a change. It sounded pathetic  but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

•°•°

 When she came to, the first thing she observed was the feeling of something soft against her back, next was a dull rhythmic sound which she realized was her own heartbeat. Though opening her eyes was a tiring task. It shouldn’t have been, but it was. She used all the energy she had into it and her eyelids fluttered open. She stared at the white ceiling and stayed like that for a few seconds; a few minutes? She couldn’t tell, but the pain was back now, not too much but enough to tell her it was there, to tell she was still alive.

She saw something shift in her peripheral vision and her body instinctively went stiff. Her mind which was blank before now ran in all directions.

‘Could be Ra’s Al Ghul… Could be worse’, she tried not to think about the worst case scenario, but she knew she had pissed off a lot of beings, beings far more powerful and far crueler than Ra’s himself. An involuntary shudder passed through her at the thought. That must’ve caught her captor’s attention as she felt the person move closer to her. Begrudgingly, she tore her gaze from the spot on the ceiling which she had been staring at this whole time and tilted her head. The man in black and blue who appeared, was probably the last person she had expected to see.

“Nightwing…”

Her voice was barely above a whisper and the hoarseness with which it came out it took her by surprise, but her body visibly relaxed at the sight of the familiar figure, at the sight of someone who would never hurt her.  

She watched him pull out a chair from the desk nearby. He sat next to the bed she was lying on and gave her a soft smile, a smile that spelled one word ‘relieve’. She remembered how when she first met him two years ago, she found that particular smile extremely annoying, she had no reason to, but she did. What she couldn’t remember was when she had grown so fond of it.

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit.”

He snorted a laugh which made her pout. She was planning to point out how he was being mean; laughing at her when her response truly defined the way she was feeling, but any words she thought of were cut off by the change in his expression. His smile faltered, lips were now pressed in a thin line, face contorted in a way which showed his genuine concern.

“This is the second time, this week.”

That you almost died, he didn’t say. That I had to save you and bring you back from the clutches of death, he didn’t say.

“I know.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“I know.”

The silence that settled, stretched far too long for comfort, but she wasn’t going to be the one to break it. She wanted to, but there was nothing she could say, that would make it better. Nightwing ran his fingers through the locks of hair, burying his face in his hands.

For the first time since she woke up, she took in his appearance, he looked disheveled,  his suit was torn in different places along visible faint cuts, most likely he got them when he rescued her. She felt a pang of guilt rising in her chest. He risked his life for her, she knew he had done it before, she didn’t get it then and she didn’t get it now. Why would someone do that? Why would he? She was pulled back from her spiraling thoughts when he spoke again, exhaustion evident in his voice.

“Why are you so reckless?”

“Excuse me?”

She looked at him like he had grown another head. She wasn’t ready for this conversation but by the looks of it they were gonna have it anyway.

“What if I hadn’t been there today? Or any of the other days you almost died. What then?”

“My best guess? I would’ve been dead.”

“And that fact doesn’t bother you at all?!”

She flinched at little when his voice rose, but she stood her ground, at least figuratively since she was still in bed.

“I don’t know, should it?” She didn’t try and tone down the venom dripping from her words. Her words cut deeper than the wounds he got from the assassins; she saw it clear as day on his face. She let out a deep sigh but continued. She had to get it out and he had to hear it, that’s the reason she gave herself for the confession that followed.

“I don’t need your help, Dick. I don’t know what gave you the impression that I did but I’ve never needed it.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘Why was it getting harder to speak?’ “I don’t need you to save me every time. I don’t need you to risk your life for me and I definitely don’t…” She moved to sit up straight, her back resting on the headboard. She shifted her gaze on her open palms resting in her lap; palms covered in blood, in her blood, not very long ago.

“I don’t need you to care...”

The last part was a whisper and Dick was silent, so silent that for a brief moment she wondered if the man she’d come to care about even heard her, admitting something that was so painful for her to say out loud.

Dick moved to sit beside her, his shoulder bumping hers. He didn’t know where all this was coming from but he knew better to leave it unattended.

“(Y/N) I help you because I care about you. I always will, you know that.”

“Why? You have nothing to gain from it”, blinking back the unshed tears in her eyes, she looked at him with a hurt expression as if she couldn’t bring herself to understand.

“Why… as in why do I care?”, Dick tilted his head to look her in the eyes, trying to understand what she meant all the while making sure not to let his own surprise at her words show. She nodded not trusting her voice to not betray her anymore than it already had.

“I don’t care about you because I feel like you need it nor because I would gain something from it”, Dick knew he shouldn’t have to explain it to her. He briefly wondered what she had gone through to make her think that she needed to be useful to be cared for or that she had to need it to be cared for. He felt something pull at his heart at the thought; It was sorrow.

“I care about you because… well I do and there’s nothing you could or couldn’t do to change that. And it is because I care about you that I ask you to be better at taking care of yourself. Now I know for a fact that whatever you stole from The League’s safehouse definitely did not belong there, but I also know that whatever it was, it wasn’t worth your life (Y/N) It never will be.”

Dick grasped one of her hands, interlacing his gloved fingers with hers; she hadn’t even realized she was shaking until he did so. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to take a deep breath despite her protesting ribs. Opening the palm of her free hand she muttered an incantation with practiced ease

“Eveirter tahw saw neddih “, her hand glowed, the golden aura taking the shape of a object. When the light subsided, Dick saw the object in her palm as she rubbed her thumb across it, quietly leaning her head on his shoulder.

“It was this totem. It belongs to Madame Xanadu. Don’t know what Ra’s wanted it for though”, she shrugged as best as she could with an injured shoulder then continued, voice firmer than it had been the whole evening,“ She asked me to retrieve it in exchange for information on a girl I was looking for. The girl was somehow sucked into some other dimension, a mystic one and her mother was so desperate when she approached me that I just couldn’t say no. So when I say the Totem was important, then I want you to know that it really is.”

Dick shook his head at that. “Still not worth your life.”

“Dick…”, she sighed. It was all she could do at the moment because she was really getting tired from all the arguing.

“Do you remember the first time we met?”

“You mean the time I met the infamous vigilante Nightwing in a dumpster of all places.”

“In my defense I was badly injured”, she hummed in agreement.

“You smelled bad”

“You try smelling like flowers after falling from a building and into an open dumpster.”

His playful grumbling pulled a short laugh out of her. She was more than a little confused at the sudden trip into the past but happily accepted it as a change of topic. She should’ve know better than to think he’d have let the matter go.

“Anyway my point is when you saw me that day, you first instinct was to help me. You pulled me out and used your magic to heal my wounds. You didn’t have to. You could’ve dropped me at a hospital. You could’ve even walked away and pretended that you never saw me, but you didn’t. Why is that?”

“Because I thought you were handsome?”, she said trying to lighten this too-heavy-for-comfort conversation he was trying to have.

“Nice try. I know you. You saved me because you cared. You helped me and the Titans save the city more than once because you cared. It is who you are. I’ve seen you care about and worry over complete strangers without conditions. So why do you think that there has to be some kind of a barter system when it comes to you? Why think that I would want to gain something if I cared about you?”

“Because everyone else did.”

The words shot out from her mouth quicker than she realized. She had voiced her greatest insecurity to the one person who never had anything to add to it and Dick’s heart clenched at the implications of her words, ‘She has never been loved unconditionally before’ his brain provided.

The tears she blinked back earlier came back with full force. She felt two strong arms that wrapped around her, all the while being mindful of her injuries. Dick pulled her into a hug and that was it. She couldn’t control the sobs that tore through her throat, the pain in her body flared due her erratic movements. She knew once the tears started flowing they wouldn’t stop at least not for a while, but now that her façade had been broken she couldn’t bring herself to give it another thought.

He waited for her to let it out, let out all the pent up emotions she had. Now that he thought about it he had never seen her cry. He never questioned it, maybe he should’ve.

“I don’t know who’s responsible for hurting you (Y/N), God, how much I wish I did”, his arms slightly tighten around her at that. “I am so sorry that you have felt like you have to have your walls up all the time, even around me and I should’ve seen that, I should’ve realized that before but I didn’t and I am so sorry for that. I can’t undo the damage you’ve endured and I will not pretend that I can. What I can do is promise you that I’d never let you down like that, never.”

The words he spoke were clear. He didn’t try to tell her to put her walls down, to trust him when she had no reason to. He also didn’t need to justify himself or make such over the top promises but it felt nice to hear it. She had already stopped crying the moment he started speaking again but she still had her forehead pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, it was calming in a way she couldn’t describe. She pulled her head back to look at him, and the honesty in his voice earlier matched the one in his eyes.

“Okay”

Hearing her response, he gave her his signature grin. It sent unexpected warmth through her, he always had that effect on her. She was sure she was just blushing at this point and was suddenly thankful for the dim lighting in the room. 

She ended up composing herself rather quickly, jabbing a finger at his armored chest with her usual smirk plastered on her face.

“Now that you’ve made that promise, know this, Dick Grayson, if you let me down I will drop a mountain on you.”

“You mean that figuratively?”

“No I mean that geologically”, he waited for her to say she was kidding. She didn’t.

“Alright, alright”, He held his hands out in mock surrender. After considering the look in her eyes, Dick refrained from questioning the feasibility of that action nor did he want to question her magical abilities or intent. Last he remembered, Wally did that and that conversation ended with him being teleported to Sahara and Dick would very much like to avoid the same fate as his best friend.

Deciding that was more than enough exhaustion for one night, he got up from the bed and kissed her goodnight, informing her that he’d be sleeping on the couch so that he wouldn’t accidently hit her injuries in his sleep. She agreed and watched him slip out of the room before falling into the blissful sleep she had been putting off since forever.

•°•°

She knew Dick Grayson was full of surprises but the next morning when he put forward the offer of become a full time Titan, in front of her, she wondered if she fell from the bed in her sleep and ended up  getting another concussion because he was so not making any sense.

“So let me get this straight, you want me to come live with you and your superhero friends, in the Titans freaking Tower?!”

“I was hoping for a little less yelling after an emotional evening but yes that is exactly what I’m asking.”

“Dick that’s just ridiculous!”

“Look, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

He looked like a kicked puppy which made her feel kinda guilty for all the yelling.

“It’s not that…It’s just there is still a lot about me I haven’t told them. There is still a lot I haven’t told you. I don’t see a reason why you all would want to trust a possible threat, let alone live with it”, she gestured to herself.

Dick felt like there was a deeper meaning behind her words, as if she was voicing her own fear rather than theirs but he trusted her enough to tell him about it when she was ready, on her own terms. He could wait till then but for now he crossed the short distance between them, going around the breakfast table till he stood in front of her. He grasped both of her hands in his and ran his thumb soothingly across her knuckles. He bent down to place a soft kiss on her forehead, and then moved to meet her gaze.

“(Y/N), I know you and I trust you and…It sounds silly considering I was raised by the worlds greatest detective but I believe that you don’t have to know every little detail about someone as long as you already know what’s in their heart.” Bruce probably would’ve disagreed but he wasn’t Bruce.

“And you know what’s in mine?”

“And I know what’s in yours.” His statement was firm and left no room for argument, not when it came to this.

“If you’re sure about this, then I guess...”

“Is that a yes I’m hearing?”, There was that smile again, seriously what was up with him and his smile that made her giddy inside.

In between thoughts she realized he was still waiting for a response so she nodded. Any underlying doubts she had about her answer vanished when she took in how happy it made him. As cheesy as it sounded seeing him happy made her happy. A part of her said it wouldn’t last long, but seeing her boyfriend hop onto the couch full of joy as he called his friends about the latest development in their lives, she wanted to believe otherwise.    

°•°•°•°•

[xenia-cenia]

Razor x Fem!Reader - Trust

A/N - I... have been avoiding writing this one, but he and Albedo are the last two before I can finish off the Mondstadt part of this series. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take me as long as the other ones lol

Post writing authors note: only took 2 hours so a lot better than my other ones

Trigger/Content Warnings: Injury, blood mention, slight manga spoilers, kidnapping, human experimentation mention, abusive sibling, food mention

Word Count: 1,552

Request: No

Summary: Ooooh dottore bad... razor good.... its 1am i have school tomorrow pretend this makes sense

---------------------------------------------------------------

You came to him on accident. 

You didn’t mean to stumble into the Wolvendom with blood coating your arm and chased by people who thought of you as nothing more than a Harbingers sister. You hadn’t planned on slipping in the mud and watching with fear in your eyes as your pursuers celebrated their victory. How could you of known that the scream that’d fall from your lips would alert a nearby boy?

Electricity remained in the air as he set his weapon down. He turned to you with a blank expression, “...hurt?”

“Who are you? Do you know what you’ve just done?”

“Hurt.” He pointed at your arm. “I fix.” Razor walked over to you and kneeled, carefully grabbing your arm.

“The Fatui! You’ve just... oh Archons, please help me. I’m so sorry, I got you into this mess and now you’ll be in danger, why did I scream?”

“Fa... tui?” He slightly cocked his head to the side.

“T-They’re people who want me back. I... I’m the sister of-”

“Family?”

You shook your head violently, “No! Not family!” You sighed, “I’m the sister of one of the harbingers. P-Please, tell me you haven’t heard of Dottore...”

“Dottore. Dottore bad?”

“Very!” 

“You scared Dottore?”

“Yes.”

“Razor protect you from Dottore. Join lupical.”

“Lu...” you echoed, “Are you Razor?”

“Razor is me.”

You looked at the mysterious boy and considered your options; either be found by the fatui and forced to face your brother or... follow the boy who saved your life without knowing you.

“Okay, fine.” You sighed, “I’ll come with you.”

He nodded, “Follow.”

You walked in silence and you noticed kindness in his subtle actions. He would hold branches above your head until you were safely past them or pointed out puddles so you wouldn’t step in them.

Finally, you arrived at an opening. Wolves stalked the exterior, looked at Razor and you, and continued their business.

“Ra... Razor?” You whispered, gripping onto his arm and stepping behind him. “Why did you take me to wolves?”

“Lupical. Family.”

“These are your family?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay.” You nodded, drew out your words as you started to regret your decision to trust him. “Wolf... family. Alrighty. Annnd... I’m here now. This is what I’m doing with my life.”

“Lupical protect Razor. Razor protect Lupical. Razor trust you. You smell nice.”

“I’ve been on the run for multiple weeks. There’s no way I smell nice.”

Razor scrunched his eyebrows as he searched for the right word, “You smell... kind. Razor trust you.” He turned to you and tried to manage a smile though it looked more like a ferocious snarl, “You trust Razor?”

And maybe you were just tired but for some reason, you did. 

It didn’t take long for you to merge with the rest of the wolf pack, though you couldn’t understand their words you learned their body language. 

The pups would run over to you and wouldn’t leave you alone until you pet them behind the ears. You would pick grass and would weave it into a shoddy crown, and each time you gave it to Razor he’d wear it the rest of the day. 

Happy. You were happy. 

Hunting, flower picking, star gazing. It was simple, but it was the best life you could’ve asked for. A life outside of political intrigue, violence, anger, and human test subjects.

A life where you could smile. A life where your shoulders relaxed. A life where you were trusted and you could trust.

Lupical. Family. You would give anything to keep these peaceful days ongoing. 

But, as with every spot of happiness you found, it needed to be crushed. 

Crushed by your older brother and the troops he controlled as he tracked down your location. As he demanded they wait until nightfall to grab you by your arm and drag you back into his clutches.

“Scream and they die.” He had said with a smile. You knew better than to doubt him. 

“Can I...” you tried to blink the tears out of your eyes, “Can I give them a final goodbye gift?”

Dottore rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. You picked grass, quickly weaved it into a shotty flower crown, and lied it on Razor's chest. And just like that, you were gone.

You were halfway to Liyue by the time Razor realized that you were missing. He gripped the flower crown as if his life depended on it, and tried his best to stay calm. To breathe.

His Lupical were quicker to pick up on your disappearance, they whined and hounded him until he finally picked up on it. 

What was he going to do? You trusted him and you’re gone. Razor hadn’t felt this awful since part of his Lupical died in front of him. He didn’t spend much time grieving, however, he dropped right onto your scent.

You walked next to your brother, your eyes locked onto the ground, you were surrounded by trees and there was a cliff behind you. 

“Why, (Y/N), you gave us quite a scare!” He chuckled after hours of pure silence, “3 months and no message. I almost began to think the worst.”

“I bet you wished for it.” You grumbled under your breath.

“What?” He looked at you, “How could you say that? I love you.”

“You never loved me.” You snapped, your fingernails digging into your palms, “You used me. You only want me back so I can’t tell everybody the awful things you do. Dead or alive, it doesn’t matter to you. I’m just here for your appearances.”

“I wanted you back because you’re my fami-”

“Don’t you dare say we’re family. They were my family. They loved me.”

“The-the wolves?” He laughed, “Don’t be absurd! Wolves can’t love you.”

“And why not?” You finally made eye contact with him, “They surely love me more than you.”

He looked at you with a slightly agape mouth, “Surely you hear how ridiculous you sound. You... you need some food. When's the last time you had a whole meal? Is that it? Are you starving? Are you sleep-deprived? What’s making you act like this?”

“I finally found someone who truly cares about me, and you take me away from them! You never want me to be happy. I hate you.” You took a deep breath, “No... hate isn’t strong enough. I despise you.” 

Dottore looked at you with almost seemed like genuine pain. But you knew better. This was the man who’d set scientists to dissect your body if he got bored. This was the man who turned countless children into experiments. 

You hated him. You hated the way he made you doubt yourself. You hated his confident smirk. 

He sighed heavily, “They always did say these teen years were hard... (Y/N), I don’t understand why you’re angry.”

“And that’s the issue! You never understand me. You don’t even try to.”

“Can’t you just listen to me?”

“I have! I’ve listened for years and nothing's ever changed! You take me away from where I’m happy and try to convince me I’m in the wrong for getting upset. You are a terrible brother and even worse person.”

“Ter... oh. Oh, (Y/N), I tried to be reasonable with you.” He shook his head dismissively, “It really is your fault. You forced my hand. You’re going back to Snezhnaya and you’re staying there until you learn your lesson.”

“No, I’m not.” You took a step away from him. “I’ll run. I’ll run each time and I’ll tell everybody what you do.”

He stepped towards you and grabbed your wrist, “If you disappear again, I’ll just be forced to kill all of your... ahem... friends.” 

You bit your lip and tried to keep the tears pooling in your eyes to spill over, “Fine.” You pulled out of his grasp. 

“Are you finally going to listen to me?”

You turned around and looked over the edge of the cliff. A flash of white caught your attention. You smiled to yourself, turned around, and let the tears fall. 

With outstretched arms, a huge smile, and a torrent of tears, you spoke, “I’ll always run from you.” You stood on the edge and let your body fall.

Dottore ran to the edge and grabbed at your clothes, missing by mere inches. He looked over the cliff in fear as he watched you fall through the branches of trees. 

He sighed to himself and tried to contain his frustration. “Damn brat.” He turned to his troops who took the time of your argument to rest, “We continue on. (Y/N) is dead.”

In the tree, Razor looked at you in relief as you sat in his arms. “Safe?”

“Safe.” You replied with a laugh as you hugged him as best as you could considering he was holding you. “He won’t... he won’t bother us anymore.”

“Dottore? Dottore hurt you? Razor not protect.”

You pulled back from the hug, “You saved me.”

He blinked, “Razor... save? You are safe... Razor save...”

You pulled him down by his collar and kissed his cheek, “I love you.”

His cheeks turned bright red. “Love... Razor love... Razor love you.”

You giggled as you pulled him into another kiss, happy to be free from your brother and in Razor's arms. 

“I love you,” you whispered again, “I love you so much.”

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

The adoption

So lately I am having Jemima feels and yesterday I spent my evening making edits and somehow it turned into this.

It's a tiny bit long, it switches time in the middle and it's a lot less lighthearted than originally planned.

Enjoy?

The little girl looked sickly, apathetic and lonely. Humphrey's head had seen her walking the halls before when he had been left somewhere by his own body or by his fellow ghosts. He had never really talked to her, for one because she gave him a death stare that put fear into his very soul, and also because he had always assumed hat she was one of the plague ghosts and therefore spent her eternity with her whole village down in the basement and like the adults there simply wasn't interested in the upstairs ghost.

After the burglar incident however, Mary had told him that the poor little thing was haunting the pantry on her own, parentless and was now and then called to assistance because her song could be heard.

It just didn't seem right to him, leaving a child like this. Though he had never had children of his own, he knew too well from his own experience what being ignored, forgotten, only contacted when someone wanted a favour and being alone could do to someone. On top of being dead and the manner of ones death of course that had been probably traumatic enough to turn one into a ghost. It was sometimes hard for him and he was a grown man. He could only imagine how hard it had to be for that poor little child, living as an outcast. So he made the decision to try and befriend her. Either in a worst case scenario she would stare at him and drop him down the well, or in a best case scenario maybe they could keep each other company now and then. It was worth a try.

She didn't speak. She didn't sing either. She stared. That was kind of her thing. It made Humphrey nervous and the more nervous he got, the chattier he got. He told her every joke he knew, every children story, he, with or without body, got Alison to select children books for his daily reading so he could retell them to Jemima. According to the Captain that was her name. Sometimes when she stared on the floor or her doll and seemed to listen, just to give him a death stare when she found that he did not yet know how a story continued. He started to invent content. She had seemed to like the story about the pirates in the secret garden the most so far. To his great surprise and joy she had uttered the word "Continue" at one point.

After several weeks the death stares had stopped. A few weeks after that she started to look at him whilst he was talking to her, instead of having her eyes fixed to the floor. It was a suspicious glance but all in all he took it as a good sign. Besides it was nice to have someone who actually payed attention when he talked to them. The first mistake in the story about Betty her sister and the teaparty full of cavemen had happened by accident and Jemima had corrected him on it. From then on he made sure to integrate at least one mistake each story time and quickly it developed from Jemima correcting his mistake to giving her own input on the plot. Humphrey felt almost proud that she tolerated his company because she loved stories so much. Only when she started to suddenly appear next to him during the day, simply staring up at him, or down at him depending on if he was with body or not, he realised that she seemed to enjoy not only their stories but i fact his company

Even more time goes by. She talks. She sings. She stares (it's very much still her thing), they invent stories, he tells jokes. She starts asking questions. About his life, his death, the other ghosts. He answers her as good as he can and as careful as he can. He doesn't want to open wounds for her. Whilst they often talk about serious topics he tries to get her into more childish endeavours. He has yet to see her smile or hear her laugh and he hopes to accomplish that. She deserves to feel and act like a child no matter how many centuries she has been dead already. Sometimes he wonders if being a father would have been like this. To be worried about a little human almost all the time, and so, so proud and just wanting for them to be happy.

One evening he makes the grave mistake of letting a dog die in their current story. Jemima clutches her doll, Mrs Cabbage, and looks distraught. He tries to fix it by turning the dog into a magic dog who isn't dead after all, but even after the fix, Jemima doesn't seem alright. Not being able to repress the memories any longer, she starts to tell him her story. After a while she takes Mrs Cabbage into one hand and reaches for his hands as support. He later drys her tears with his tunic; he has to dab his own eyes a few times as well. It's the first time that he calls her my little Jem.

"Well I mean I understand If you don't want to, I just thought ...it's not that you could inherit anything, except the name. Or maybe you don't like the name...I don't know if it's a good name, Cheese is a good name, Bone is maybe a bit ..." He rambles nervously before he is suddenly interrupted.

"Will you still come talk to me? And play and tell me stories?"

"...yes of course, Mimi why wouldn't I ?"

"And you won't die or send me away to work for someone else?"

His face goes from nevous anticipation to understanding and fondness.

"No of course not, I can't die again, I don't think and besides that I wouldn't send my little Jem away"

There is silence for a few moments.

"Can I call you Papa?"

"Yes ...of course if you want to?...so is that a...is that a yes?"

Her answer ist the first smile he has ever seen on her face. From that moment on he is officially what he has been for over a year now...a father.

[insufferablelust]

THE QUEEN HAS SPOKEN, ITS MY DUTY TO WRITE SO I CAME UP WITH THIS.. HOPEFULLY ITS GOOD SHSJKS! thank you for the idea my love! you’re awesome @slutforthegubes !

WARNINGS : S M U T! filthy smut (usual stuff gsjsks), Professor!Reid era x hiatus SSA!Reader, Dom spence, Heavy degradation by name calling, Jealous Spencer, Cockwarming, Condescension, Over stimulation, Rough Kitchen sex, Fluff... i think thats it:)

excuse grammar errors! i’m trying to be better, promise!

MASTERLIST OF ALL MY WORKS!

Taking a time away from the team was a hard decision, but you needed this break. Being on the team for more than 5 years has really made you saw the worst of the worst of mankind, and you just need some time to refresh your mind for awhile. Another reason that convinced you to take a break from BAU is Spencer, you know how much he needed you at this point, after everything that has happened to him, you wanted to he there and just enjoy the moments not worrying about all the horrors and traumas.

Thankfully Emily agreed to it, sending you to a time off as long as you and Reid needs. But of course you’re not going to just abandon your team, so whenever a case comes through, you always stay on the line with Garcia and help as much as you can.

So now, without a horror case hanging over your head, you’re busy living a domestic life with your boyfriend Spencer. It feels so good to just be with him, to love and cherish each other, and to show how much you appreciate each other without having to worry about some psychopath hunting you down. Ever since Jail, Spencer has changed to a different man— not that you can blame him but he has changed.

He’s still your Spencer, the man you love and would die for, but he becomes assertive, obsessive almost predatory, now it sounds scary but it just meant that he’s more protective especially of you. You could feel the change by observing every little things he did, like the way his hand gripped yours tighter when you’re both in public, or the way he would put his hand on your lower back as you stroll down the grocery store, or the way he kissed you every time he left for work or comes home— it sounded mundane but the way he kissed you is almost feral, his hand would grip your jaw and the other one would soothe over your waist rubbing the bruise he left the night before, his lips would devour yours in a heartbeat, like every missing second counts. And when i said it counts it really did, he never taken his hands off of you unless he has to work or read, even then he always wants you close.

Thats when the subject of cockwarming surfaced, one time he was in his office as you limped down the stairs after the long night you’ve had, but the thing is you still needy more but he’s working, preparing for his lecture. As soon as you entered his office stark naked with your robe, you see him in wearing matching robe and pair of glasses— and god that drove you crazy. All you both want is to be as close to one another, without having to spend the energy to pound against one another and he can’t left his work.

So cockwarming it is, he just casually pushed his cock inside your fluttering warm walls— as you straddling him and you both stayed there, content feeling full and satisfied, lulling you back asleep. After you woke up though, the desk witnessed yet another round. And since then whenever you’re too tired or he’s busy, he’ll just enter his cock inside your pussy or you’ll sink down on his cock, depending which position fits the situation better. Its just the need to be close to each other, the after sex is just a bonus.

——————

He has gone to work about an hour ago, pressing a passionate kiss before he left, the type of kiss that left you wanting for more and of course he did that on purpose. So when you wake up for the second time that day you decided to take a shower. You were going to try to touch yourself but decided against it because it’s one of Spencer’s rules that “Your body is mine, so does your soul. I own every inch of you, so let me remind you again, pet. Do not ever touch what’s mine without permission.”

When you got out of the shower you pranced around the bedroom for a bit, before putting on one of Spencer’s white button up shirts that looks cute on you, and a cute white thong. You take a look at yourself one more time before grinning happily, Perfect. You look completely ready to be taken.

—————

You were cooking dinner when you felt it, the two arms that wrapped themselves around your waist, and a warm lips littering your neck with kisses and bites.

“Hi baby, didn’t hear you coming in. I’m making Rossi’s carbonara you know.” Your voice sounded so high pitch— its innocent, knowing full well what it does to Spencer.

“Mhm, got home early because i’ve missed you,” He mumbled against your skin as trace the line of your thong with his index finger and his teeth sunk down on your skin causing you to gasp “You look so cute wearing my shirt and this pathetic excuse of a thong, do you know how easy it would be for me to bend you right.. here...” His hands gripped yours as you turn off the stove, and he place both hands on the counter, his lips nibbling near your ear making you grind back against him.

“And just take you over and over again, pound into your sweet cunt that i’m sure has been needy for me. I can always see through you, little one.” He chuckled at the end, as he pressed his palm over your back so he can bend you over before, Knock knock! Ah perfect timing!

“who in the hell—“

“I ordered garlic bread, i knew you would be home early as usual so i shortened the cooking time and had it delivered instead there it is, let me go get—“

“No! absolutely not you mindless baby. Go finish plating up, i’ll get the bread and you best believe i’m going to destroy you.”

Oh the way he talked about it as if you didn’t want that to happen, he could very much ask you to do anything he wants or needs and you’d obey. So the only thing that supposed to terrify you, makes your blood running with the adrenaline and oxytocin.

You only set up one plate on his side of the table, only because you know that he’ll want you to either sit on his lap or kneel beside him and you’re fine with both. As long as you can be close to him is all that matters. You poured the wine as he comes back bringing the bread and set it up on the table.

“Sit down and relax Dr.Reid, tell me about your day.” Her tone could actually make him burst in his pants just thinking about it, every thing about her is perfect, even with her damn attitude and brattiness, its just meant that she needed to be set in her place often.

As soon as he sat down you were about to sit on his lap before he denied you by snapping his fingers, before telling you to “pull my pants down a little and take my cock out, while i eat, you’ll try to be a useful little cockwarmer for me okay?” His condescension makes your head spin as you replied with a high pitched whine of “Yes, Sir.” and doing exactly as he said.

Spencer took a bite of the pasta as you sink down on him, feeling him pressed against your tummy. “Oh pet, it’s so good.” that makes you whimper because you know that he isn’t talking about the food. “Open up baby,—Good girl!” he said as he continues to eat and feeding you couple of times.

You can’t hold out your whimpers, as you feel the tip of his cock pressing directly on your spot, causing you to clench your walls bunch of times before earning yourself 5 smacks on your exposed ass and a warning “Stop being a greedy slut and let me finish my dinner you brat.” He huffed, then going back to enjoy his pasta whilst scrolling down on his phone.

You wondered how can he be so calm and collected, because you can’t even help the way you squirm each time he breathes. But then you heard it, the small grunts that escaped his lips here and there, He’s also turned on beyond belief. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you hear his voice cutting through the tension with his thumb rubbing circles on your clit, earning a yelp from you.

“I’m finished, go and bend over the kitchen counter like i wanted you to earlier, keep your cheeks pressed against the counter and place your hands behind your back, you hear me?” He talked slowly as if to mock you how mindless you are, but you won’t deny it and said that it doesn’t turn you on cause it does and he knows it.

“Y-yes sir.. thank you sir..” You shakily stand up, from his lap pulling his cock out and you immediately clench your thigh, eyes fluttering shut as you feel the emptiness and coldness. “Oh, what’s wrong baby? you feel empty don’t you? of course you do. Can’t leave a second without stuffing your holes full, what a whore.” He shakes his head as he hold her jaw tightly and slap her right cheek. “There you are, pretty and marked. Now go do as i asked if your cute little ass is not bent over that counter i won’t let you cum a single time tonight.”

So you scrambled to bend over the counter, as you hear him placing the dishes away, taking his dear sweet time blowing each candle out. Your hand secured on your back as you feel the wetness drips out of you— whimpered out at the need to be touched god you hope he didn’t catch that.

“Be patient, whore. Good girls wait.” Of course he did. You should be ashamed, but if anything you’re dripping down your thigh.

Finally, after long minutes of just psychological torture, you felt both of his hand on your hips, gripping it bruisingly tight as you feel his cock pressing against your cunt, teasing the opening with the tip, keeping an agonizingly slow pace.

“You were going to open the door weren’t you slut? wearing your skimpy outfit maybe even flashing the guy hm? is that what you want? exposing whats mine?”

“No! no sir it isn’t like that i—“

“Shh, just keep your lips shut pretty girl, and let me ruin you. Let me show you that you’re mine, no one gets to see you like this, like a mindless little baby i know you are.”

Just as you were about to reply, you feel him push his cock inside of you with one single thrust, you yelped at the mixture of pain and pleasure, squirming against him as he wastes no time to pound into your cunt with a fast pace.

“Thats it, take it baby. Good girl.” You whined at the praise clenching your walls around his length, making him groaned out loud and smack your ass. “so damn tight, my perfect whore.”

“y-your whore! yours Spencer oh fuck please! make me cum.” You screamed out as you feel him twitch inside of you, the tip just keeps on hitting your sweet spot making you clench your walls involuntarily each time. “Oh i’ll make you cum alright, i’ll make you cum so hard that i’ll ended up ruining you” He laughed as he keeps on pounding onto you, curls sweaty and chest heaved.

“I’m so close sir please!” at this point the only thing you could do is submit fully and wait for his command no matter how hard it is. When you finally thought that he’s going to let you cum finally but before you can even ask, he pulled out of you abruptly and straighten your posture, flipping you around and place you on top of the counter— legs spread.

“You can cum whenever you want to, as much as you want but know that i won’t stop until i cum inside of that cunt. you hear me?”

“y-yes sir.” your eyes are glassy and you just look like a mess, a total whore for him. As soon as he push his cock back in you were a goner, the combination between his cock pounding your sweet spot and the thumb on your clit sends you over to the edge and had you convulsing against him.

Spencer laughed as he keeps on going, pounding you with the same pace, his fingers grabbed your throat and press down on it, “That’s right baby, keep it going” He encouraged as you cum again for the second time that night,

Your body shakes as your nerves wired with over sensitivity, begging him to “P-please sir- can’t cum anymore” Tears are flowing down your eyes as he feel himself twitch seeing how cute you are.

“C’mon aren’t you my little cockslut hm? yeah my one and only, so you’ll come for me one more time baby, one more and then i’ll fill you up” He cooed against your skin as he himself cant hold it much longer, so he slapped your clit as fast as he’s pounding onto you, and oh how you just scream out and tightening around him like crazy, sending him over the edge and spill his cum inside of you, making you whimper out loud,

“Fuck- fuck i- love you Y/N.. Oh i love you”

“I-i love you too spence”

He chuckled seeing your post orgasmic cute state, pressing a loving kiss on your lips before pulling back and hold you close for a second, “what do you need my love?”

“need you and bath please...” You whined out like a small kitten, making him shakes his head and pulls out of you, before carrying you bridal style to the bathroom and take care of you properly.

————————

Send in your blurb ideas like this or any genre you want through my ask! and send me feedback or constructive criticisms on my private message. Thank you for reading and supporting, love you all❤️

[juyeoniemyhoney]

Die In Your Arms

As long as you have Juyeon everything will be fine. Because anything that the world throws your way, you can depend on him to guide you and love you and comfort you until nothing hurts anymore, until everything makes sense, until you can face a new day. And it is without a doubt that you'll do exactly the same for him.

or

If you could just die in Juyeon's arms, you wouldn't mind.

-pairing: lee juyeon x reader

-genre: idol!juyeon, established relationship, fluff, like SO much fluff

-warnings: oc is having a life crisis and is indecisive af, some mentions of anxiety,

-word count: 1865 words

-A/N: hey guys! this my first ever fanfic for the boyz so i hope you like it! i got into them christmas last year and fell absolutely in love with juyeon. recently, i've been in my feels but juyeon and the boyz have really been keeping me happy so i decided to write this! i will continue to write for bts and start writing for all the other groups i stan so please look out for that!

--------

You know, when you say the world hates you, you really mean it hates you.

The worst part is that it hates you in the most painful way possible, by inflicting you with indecisiveness, with a deep-rooted anxiousness abut everything, with the incessant habit of losing interest in everything you take up within months. And it is not like you can blame the world for the problems you have, since it always looks mostly self-inflicted. So what do you do? You cry, of course. Because if no one will take pity on you, you sure as hell will.

And that is how Juyeon finds you sobbing on his couch over a goddamn piece of paper.

When Juyeon finds that the light in his kitchenette has been turned on, he is not surprised. When he sees your figure lying on the couch, back faced to him, he is not surprised either. When you turn to look at him when he calls your name and he sees the tears spilling from your eyes, however, is when a gasp leaves his lips and he drops everything to rush to your side.

"Y/N," he coos, dropping to his knees so that his face is level with yours, hand immediately coming up to cup your cheek, thumb wiping at the tears that slip from your pretty eyes.

Through the blur of your tears, you see the way he looks at you, eyes soft and gentle, almost like he can feel the pain you are going through, like he hurts when you do. The hand he has on your cheek is grounding and comforting and warm, and you feel yourself calm down a little. Because Juyeon is here and he is with you and as long as he is here, everything is going to be okay.

"What's wrong, baby," he coos again, both hands now cupping your face, swiping at your cheeks and tucking away wisps of hair that fall into your face. You begin to sit up and Juyeon's hands follow your face with you, chasing after you like if his hands left your cheeks for even a second, the dam would break again and you would burst back into sobs.

"Juyeon," you almost whine, and you hate how your voice sounds, high pitched and annoying and so unlike how it usually is. Juyeon is surprised at how you are whining too but it sparks a protectiveness inside of him and he can't help but smile because you are just the cutest person on earth.

You open up your arms when you sit up properly, gesturing for Juyeon to hug you. He does not.

Instead, he grabs the blanket that has been draped across the back of the couch and swathes you with it, wraps you up all warm and tight until you can barely move. Then, he sits on the couch and carries you so that you sit on his lap and he cradles you like you are a baby, rocking you back and forth and every time you get close to his face, he places a kiss on your cheek or your lips or your forehead and sends you the prettiest, biggest grin that has his eyes smiling and his lips stretching in the prettiest way possible.

"What are you doing," you say with a small laugh, and you suddenly realised that you've stopped crying.

"I'm making you feel better, my big baby," Juyeon replies, eyes glinting with mischief, smile gentle and words soft despite his teasing. And you feel your heart leap in your chest and your lips fall into a admiring pout. You have the best boyfriend in the world and it is not just because he is sweet and comforting and gentle. It's because he's Juyeon. And you have to thank the heavens and every single star that has brought you together because Lord knows that you'd be a mess if it weren't for this tall, sweet boy with the prettiest smile and the kindest eyes.

"Did you read some sad fanfic about me again," he teases, grinning down at you. And for some reason, you are brought back to reality. It is as if you'd miraculously forgotten that your boyfriend has a full time job. As an idol. You forget that he's just come home from a gruelling practice that has left him exhausted and sticky with sweat. And he probably does not want to deal with this; to deal with you when he's just been ground to the bone and all he wants to do is shower and lie in his bed and rest before he has to wake up hours later and do it all over again. He does not, he should not have to deal with you. And yet he does.

"No," you laugh, pausing to consider your words. "Juyeon, why don't you go take a shower first, hmm?" you suggest, wiggling your hand out of the blanket to rake it through his mussed hair, trailing your fingers down to tuck the longer strands behind his ear, then to his jaw, and finally to his chin to pull him down for a peck, to which he indulges you in.

"Why? Do I smell?" he asks a little self-consciously, face dropping into a worried frown. And you laugh because Juyeon may be holding you like you are a newborn baby, but sometimes he is so gullible and innocent you wonder if he is the true child.

"No," you reply. In all honesty, he still smells of his lavender and aloe body wash and his vanilla scented shampoo remains redolent in his otherwise sweaty hair. Juyeon looks at you then, with a questioning look, silently urging you for an explanation.

"I just— Aren't you tired? You can deal with me later," you say, already beginning to lift yourself from his arms. But Juyeon does not allow you so, frowning sternly at you and locking you in his arms.

"No, that can wait. You're sad and I need to know why otherwise I can't help you. I know you don't like depending on people. But depend on me.".

You open your mouth to protest but nothing comes out. You want to say, "I can depend on you later, Juyeon! You come first!" but you know that it will end up to nothing. Juyeon is uncannily stubborn when it comes to things like these. He always puts you first and it frustrates you to no end when you want to do the same for him but he just won't let you.

"I just don't know if I want to become a writer, or a doctor, or a nurse," you tell him instead, sitting up in his lap so that his arm supporting your back does not get tired. But it's so uncomfortable so you shift and shift and shift until you find yourself sitting on the couch, legs thrown over Juyeon's thighs, arms around his waist and head leaning on his shoulder, the blanket now covering both of you.

To be frank, you don't even know if Juyeon can help you with this problem you are facing right now. Juyeon has always known he wanted to become an idol. It has been his dream for years and years and he has never experienced the dilemma you face right now so you're not even sure he can sympathise with you. Sure, he can comfort you and he can give you advice but in the end you'll still have to make the decision yourself and that fact terrifies you down to your very bones.

"Okay, well," Juyeon starts out. You can tell he's unsure about how to go about this. It is evident in the way he picks and chooses his words carefully, scared he'll say something wrong, or something to offend you. And though he is scared, you suppose you aren't, fully trusting in the three more years of wisdom Juyeon has on you.

"Well, I suppose you have to see which one makes your heart flutter the most," he continues, tilting his head so that it rests on top of yours. "You have to figure out which one you'd rather do for the rest of your life."

The one thing that makes my heart flutter most is you, you think. But you quickly dispel those thoughts from your brain with a scolding. Juyeon is trying his best to help you, you should not be thinking these things.

"Well, I suppose writing makes my heart flutter the most," you say with a smile, just the thought of being able to put your imagination into words sparking a sense of motivation within you. But the spark quickly dies out with your smile when you realise and voice out, "But I can totally see myself being a doctor for the rest of my life."

Juyeon hums in thought before saying, "Well, don't you want to help people? Why don't you try for nursing?"

You give it a thought, a long thought that stretches out the silence between the two of you, full of thought and deliberation. In the silence, Juyeon gently moves his arm to your waist, gingerly patting a rhythm into the skin there, waiting patiently as you navigate your maze of thoughts.

"Okay," you finally say after minutes of deliberation. In your silence, Juyeon had unconsciously fallen asleep and your sudden agreement to his suggestion wakes him from his slumber with a jolt.

"You'll try nursing?" he asks, a grin already colouring his voice. You pull away from his shoulder so that you can look at him. His eyes are half-closed and you can tell he is still trying to keep awake. The grin he wears is tired but genuine and you start to feel your heart rap at your ribcage. He looks like an overtired kitten and you can't help but coo as your hands move to cup his cheeks.

"Yeah, I will. I'll still be doing biology, which I love. But I won't be quite as busy as I would be if I was a doctor. So I'd hopefully still have time to write," you explain and his grin widens.

"Okay, Bubs. I'm proud of you," he tells you as he nuzzles into your palms, fizzling something sweet in your chest at the sight. "And even if you hate every second of it, I'll be here with you, okay? And you can always change your decision," he continues.

"Just because I decided I really wanted to become an idol early in my life doesn't mean you have to decide so quickly too. Everyone's different; you're different. So don't worry too much, okay?"

Your chest warms and your heart soars and you feel like you can breathe again, like you were drowning in the ocean and the waves have finally spat you back onto dry land. You crash back into Juyeon's arms, burying your face into his neck as gratitude spills from you in words and the tightness with which you are holding him.

That's right. As long as you have Juyeon everything will be fine. Because anything that the world throws your way, you can depend on him to guide you and love you and comfort you until nothing hurts anymore, until everything makes sense, until you can face a new day. And it is without a doubt that you'll do exactly the same for him.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Hiya 👋 I find it fascinating when people point out stuff about main characters that are brushed over and was I was wondering what’s your top reasons you dislike Alina and what scenes made you dislike her / made no sense.

Well I don't dislike Alina in the show but in the books I do think she is badly written. But here are some things that made the book character less appealing to me than the show.

I think the main one is her complete lack of agency. She very rarely makes any decisions for herself and just seems to go along with what everyone else (mostly male characters) say. There is a problem and instead of Alina being the one to make a decision or think of a solution she is told this is what we are going to do by either, M*l, Nikolai or the apparat. She is pushed around the plot by others actions instead of taking control herself and so often appears more as a puppet than as a commander or influential person in herself. For example in the show Alina is the one who tells M*l that they should seek the stag and kill it for it's amplification powers before the darkling does. Yet in the books this decision isn't hers but M*l's and Alina just goes along with it. There are also several instances where she clearly doesn't agree with the course of action or doesn't want to do something and yet she does it anyway, an example of this is when Nikolai and M*l want to attack the Volcra nest in the fold. She clearly has qualms about it but ends up folding to their will, another example is M*l insisting that once the fold and the darkling are destroyed that they seek a way to remove the amplifier, again this is something Alina doesn't want to do but she agrees with M*l and doesn't tell him her true desire. So what we end up with is a female protagonist who very much seems to be a pawn to the male characters in the book.

Another thing I disliked about the character's storyline is that she was often the victim of men, held captive and used to their advantage and this included one the supposed heroes. The darkling takes her captive twice wanting to use the amplifiers and control her to meet his own goals, Nikolai also at one point takes her captive and only really gives her freedom back to her because she agrees to help him, and the apparat takes her captive so that he can use her to gain religious power over the masses. She also never gets herself out of these situations, she just accepts her situation and waits to be rescued, for others to save her so that they too can use her for their own gain. I find this theme of her either being a victim of men or the pawn of one really worrying.

Another issue with the way she is written which again ties into the two above is that she is made far too dependant on M*l. Not only does she make herself very ill by suppressing her powers to stay with M*l but when her powers are revealed her refusal to let go of her attachment to M*l means that she struggles to master her powers, she becomes physically unable to summon because her refusal to let M*l go. Later in book two and three she spends a lot of time pining after him and getting in arguments about their positions of power. M*l feels useless and resents Alina's new position and power, he wants things to go back to how they were. He really does hold her back in many ways and this really should have been a love that they both grew out of but instead despite it being made obvious that they don't really fit together they both refuse to let the other go which means one or the other has to make sacrifices in order for them to be together. Not only that but Alina often puts M*l's needs, wants and safety above the greater good, rather than save the grisha or other vulnerable people she will safe M*l even going so far as to let 30-40 innocent people die in the fold so that she can save his life. This co-dependant relationship that she has with M*l is very unhealthy and toxic which would be ok if this was recognised within the narrative and then steps were taken to fix it, but instead this relationship is presented as some grand love story despite how damaging it truly is to Alina. In the Tv adaption they show us that Alina can be very happy and actually thrive without M*l in ep 5, its the happiest we ever see her and the most confident, yet she never gets this opportunity in the books.

Alina is also very insecure and jealous and we often see her pitted against other females, in particular Zoya. If there is one thing I really am not a fan of its authors pitting women against women particularly when it is over a man. Throughout all of the books Alina is insecure that Zoya is more beautiful than her and is insecure about her own looks, particularly when is comes to M*l, she is often jealous believing M*l will be turned by other pretty girls instead of him staying loyal to her. She often worries that she won't be good enough as the Sun Summoner and that the people will come to hate her. Again all of this would have been fine if it were limited to just the beginning of her story arc and it was something she overcame, but she never really does. She often comes across as being quite sulky as well. There was this one quote that I kept seeing in the tag that Alina says which is 'I am the Sun Summoner. It gets dark when I say it does.' Obviously before reading the books I kept wondering the circumstances of her saying this. It is a bit of a badass quote so naturally I was imaging all kinds of grand, dramatic scenarios, her shouting it across the battlefield to the darkling, her saying it in a war meeting as they are making plans as a way of instilling hope and confidence in her troops. So you can imagine my disappointment when it is actually said whilst she is lying outside on the ground, sad and feeling sorry for herself. When presented with a problem or a wrench in a plan she doesn't rally her team and try to come up with a solution instead she just sulks which as a reader I found very frustrating. The thing is both Alina and M*l are written as rather realistic teenagers, but the problem is this doesn't fit the world they are living in. They live in a world based off imperial russia and yet the characters do not behave as if they are, instead they act like they are modern day teenagers attending high school with petty jealousy and childhood crushes.

There is also her identity as a grisha and relationship with the grisha. One of the more interesting aspects of the grisha trilogy is the grisha's story, their oppression and their fight to be recognised as human beings and equals. Yet Alina shows very little care for the Grisha. In fact to me it seems like the author just made Alina grisha to serve the plot. Alina is grisha because the narrative needs her to be, they need her to be powerful enough to defeat the villainous darkling and destroy the fold. Instead of striving to improve things for the Grisha Alina supports the monarchy that has spent centuries oppressing them. The moment LB no longer needs Alina to be grisha she is stripped of the identity and the grisha are left in their misery in a world that still hunts, kills and enslaves them.

Alina is also often punished in the narrative by other characters but also by herself. She is often shamed for the attraction she felt towards the darkling and is called things like stupid girl. Not only is she blamed for falling for the darkling's manipulation she is also told she is greedy and power hungry for seeking out the amplifiers and political power. It's a very twisted message that is sent because we are told she is seeking the amplifiers to stop the villain which is a heroic cause and yet we are also told that she is doing out of greed. There seems to be this message that women should not seek power or a change in their position because that means they are greedy and evil.

Then after three books of the protagonist being used as a chess piece by the men in the story she gets one of the worst endings a heroine could. Both Nikolai and M*l get what they want in the end but its at a cost to Alina, Nikolai gets the Ravkan throne and M*l gets the quiet farm life with Alina as his wife. But Alina loses her powers and the position of power she got with them. The two things she explicitly asks for and tells us she desires, her position as general of the second army and her powers/amplifiers. In fact she even tells us in the second book that given a choice she would not give up her powers not even for M*l. Yet that is what happens and worse than that the narrative tells us that she was wrong and greedy for seeking power and influence, they present this ending she gets as a happy one because she gets to spend her life with M*l living a nice normal life. As a reader I found this difficult to except because the character had told us on many occasions that it was not what she wanted, we are shown often how miserable she is without her powers and yet we are expected to believe that this was some wonderful fairytale ending for her when it seems like whilst the men got their happy ever afters it was at the expense of Alina.

There is probably more but before this turns into a full on rant I think it best to leave it here.