#either the world has gone crazy or i'm the crazy one
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greenapplebling · 1 year ago
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Not someone telling me that I'm "surely a proshipper" when I commented people should stop policing what others can like or dislike and stop dismissing people as "disgusting" and "stupid" for not thinking the same way they do
The kicker? The ship in question that I commented about wasn't incest, selfcest nor pedo. No no, it was about 2 guys with a complicated love-hate relationship
So, fellas, is it proship to like a ship with the enemies to lovers trope?
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astrxealis · 1 year ago
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went out w friends today super duper fun i'm really happy but anyway just on here to say it's my break now so i'll be a bit more active i hope, it's my bday soon too, and i got asked my gender today which was p cool 😙🥺💗✨
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i miss it here but real life has been so fun again that i'm just. really happy JEGQKDJS#LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS SM u guys here and those irl and elsewhere online and yes <333#it's crazy tbh i went to a mall today w my friends in class as a yk gala but also in advance for my bday ... they r all so nice i love them#they kept hyping me up and idk it's a small thing but i love how observant they r SNIFFS maybe i'm just not used to it all so it means a lot#but either way it means so much fr. AND THEN OK the weekend after this one i'm watching a movie w my other grp of friends from arti's class#hehe 2nd time hanging out w em but we'll be more complete this time around <3 !!! and thennn at school i hang out w a variety of friends at#diff times and then online i've been connecting in diff ways w my closest friends online too and even randomly here yk and then yeah it all#just makes me vv happy that for the first time in... what. 6 years. i've been truly myself w interacting w others#BCS YES i am shy introverted quiet BUT ALSO the complete opposite but in a nice way. best of both worlds fr.#idk IEHSJDJS JUST REALLY HAPPY I'M 'BACK' to who i kind of rlly am but either way i am Me#sniffs..... okay but i'm not gna get emotional rn LOL#it's not rlly break yet until sat tbh which is my bday :P we're just staying home for the rest of the week but there's still school#i was worried at 1st i rmbr i wouldn't like my class but i had my thoughts and ideas which were good#and BOOM they actually did come true. it's amazing. oh my god.#also bad moments have come n gone but i've been dealing w them healthily and generally always trying to be as best as i can be healthily#DAMN. i'm thriving. but even if things go sour i know it'll go through and yeah. amazing#so tldr touching grass is rlly good and loving urself lmfao#the thing is i admittedly have always loved myself so. good for me! genuinely i have always and knew for a very long know i always will love#myself :] rlly nice to have that stability but ig it stems too from a very ahaha childhood WHWHJD i've fastforwarded growing up mentally#it's p sad but ig i wouldn't have it any other way since who i am is who i am. so. yeah.#YEEHAW OKAY GN !!! i shut up now hehehe#i miss writing... ye gods
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solardrop · 6 months ago
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silver.
aaron hotchner x reader.
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summary: hotch really doesn't think getting old is sexy. tags: fluff. a suggestive line here or there but nothing crazy. age gap (reader in their 30s, hotch is 57). jack mentioned. i think this could be read as gn!reader but i could be wrong. just short and cute. word count: 1.0k a/n: last fics rules still apply. be nice to me! when i look up photos of hair dying on pinterest i get rainbow haired e-boys so accept this haircut photo <3 divider creds to @/cafekitsune
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Your name echoes across the house when Aaron yells for you from the bathroom. Once you enter the space you're greeted by his hair spiked in every which way, covered in a brownish-black goop. His thick hands are gloved and hold a small black toothbrush-like applicator.
"Sweetheart, can you check if I missed a spot?" Aaron hands you the brush and tray of inky black dye. You make a show of rolling your eyes and pouting back at him in the mirror and you take the items from him.
"I forgot it was that time of month that you decided to cover up all your sexy.." you sigh.
"Really," he scoffs, a teasing smile creeping on his lips, "I thought all the sexy was gone when I shaved.'
You almost teared up remembering the loss of his beard. A case off the grid forced him to grow one out for a few weeks. You understandably jumped his bones upon seeing the new look when he returned. The extra hair provided some out-of-this-world sensations for your softest parts that you would never forget. Only for the wicked man to shave all of it after two days, citing the "professional dress code" of the FBI as the culprit.
You snap a latex glove onto your hand, "Shush and bend over, big guy."
He smiles and kneels to face you, his rough hands gripping the fat of your thighs. You slowly worked around his head, dabbing bits of dye in bare spots. Your fingers rake through the inky black mass on his head, gently massaging his scalp. Aaron hums and thanks you under his breath.
"Do you know why I started dying my hair so consistently?"
"To torture me?"
"No," he huffs," when Jack was about... eight? I had taken him on this trip with a couple of his friends and their fathers, it was fun, but at the end of the whole thing Jack pointed at the grays starting to grow out on my hairline and turned to his friends and said-"
"Baby no...."
"'Guys look! My daddy is sooo old!'"
You clamp your lips shut to hold in your laughter. You didn't want to embarrass him further, especially with the deep red flush rising up the nape of his neck.
"Oh honey Jack was still a baby then... kids are insane you know that"
" I do, and I know. I laughed it off. I know he didn't really mean anything by it, but I didn't know if he felt like the odd one out for having an old dad.." Aaron runs his hands up and down your legs mindlessly. "And now I don't want you to feel out of place either."
You pause at that. In the few years you and Hotch have been together, never has he shown any insecurity about the difference in age between you. And he sure as hell wasn't about to start now if you had anything to do with it. You slicked his hair back with your hands and placed the clear complimentary shower cap in the box on his head, snickering at how silly he looked. Once you slide the slimy gloves off you set the timer on your phone and grasp the face of the man you loved so dearly, forcing him to rest his chin on your stomach and look into your eyes.
"You have less than thirty minutes to explain to me why you think I'd care about you looking old"
"you're young-"
"I'm in my thirties-"
"you're younger," he corrects "than me by quite a bit. All your friends have other young people to share their life and first experiences with. Meanwhile, you're stuck with a sixty-year-old-"
"You're fifty-seven-" Your eyes roll.
"a fifty-seven-year-old with a sassy kid turned angsty teenager for a child." he sighs, "Sweetheart I just don't want you to ever look at me and feel a loss."
You take a moment to scan his face. Despite the stupid shower cap mushrooming around his head, his face showed no amusement when he spoke. The sweet, shy smile he always sported around you was gone, replaced with a grimace and furrowed brow.
"Aaron I have never felt more loved, accepted, and safe than I have with you. I know you know that," you say.
He nods, pressing a quick peck to your belly button before looking at you. His eyes search yours for a moment of hesitation or change in resolve. but you stand your ground.
"The only thing I worry about with you on my arm is fighting off all the homewreckers."
He wheezes a laugh at this. Eventually having to stand up before he smears the dark dye all over you. He always does this. Laughs and acts like he wouldn't have crowds of people stop to fawn over his beauty if he let them.
"Remember that neighbor at the old apartment who would only stop by with cookies when she knew you were home?"
"Or the time Jack's classmate profiled their teacher's crush on you?"
"Don't even get me started on that detective JJ keeps telling me about from years ago in New Mexico. The male detective."
He smiles at you sheepishly, "You've made your point."
"If you want to dye your hair or shave to make yourself happy I think you should," you whisper, "but Aar I love every version of you possible"
You press your lips to his cheek before you continue, "You are the most beautiful, devastatingly sexy old man out. And I will still throw myself at you in public if you decide to finally ditch the box dye."
He smiles at you fully now, eyes shining as he looks down at you. He slides his lips against yours, grinning into the kiss before he pulls away to thank you.
"Maybe after this starts to grow out I'll see how I feel about the silver again." He looks back at his reflection in the mirror. He turns his head every which way to peek at the processing strands under the shower cap.
"Think about the beard too damn it.." you mumble. You begin to wander out of the bathroom when he yells for you again.
"Oh and sweetheart one more thing," you turn to look at him, confused when he stifles a laugh, "will you still think I'm sexy if I start balding like my father?"
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thevoidstaredback · 9 months ago
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Okay, so, crisis averted. Both of them, really. Red Robin had not asked or attempted to get any more of Danny's drink and the World Ending Crisis was less World Ending and more World Threatening. Either way, no one is hyped up in lethal amounts of caffeine and the world is in no more pieces than it had been before.
That brings attention to a new problem, though. It's uniquely Danny's problem and Constantine and Zatanna and Deadman won't stop laughing at him. He's also pretty sure that Raven is laughing at him in the privacy of her mind, so that's making him feel worse.
The problem is that every single hero that had been at the meeting a week ago that was not a part of the JLD has been overly concerned about him.
So what if he half died when he was fourteen and therefore will never look over either fourteen or eighteen? So what if he consumes enough caffeine to kill an elephant within a few minutes? What is he gonna do, die? That's not a real threat as long as he only fights as Phantom.
Ignoring the fact that he can, in fact, get hurt to the point of near death as Phantom. It's not like anyone knows that, though! Besides, ghosts run on god rules. They can't die, only fade when forgotten. People aren't likely to forget about most ghosts, though, even if they can't remember their names.
He's not gonna share that, though. Let Batman keep his contingency that won't work because the only contingency that will work for Phantom is the one he made himself. Tried and tested! He's marked it off of his Bingo Card.
Anyway. Heros and their kids/proteges have been trying to track him down for the entire week. He can't risk even leaving the House of Mysteries because the Supers are all probably listening out for him and they can't hear him through magic. It sucks. He just wants to go get a cup of coffee as Danny. The second he leaves, though, the Supers will be on him like bloodhounds. He'd leave as Danny, but the rest of the JLD don't know what he looks like as Danny and he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Being stuck as Phantom was going to start causing issues to his human half if he doesn't get to leave soon.
Should he risk it? Is coffee that won't kill him really worth risking the Supers finding out his civilian identity? Sure, they wouldn't tell anyone, but he didn't like the idea of someone being able to pick him out of a crowd when all he wanted to do was blend in. It's why he avoided Gotham and Bludhaven, actually, but that's both self explanatory and another story for another time.
"You're still here?" Zatanna sat on the couch beside him. "You're normally gone by now. You can't not be tired of us yet."
He sighed and sunk down into the couch slightly. "Believe me, I'm tired of being stuck here, but I can't leave. I can't leave as a human because you guys don't know what I look like and, no offense, but I'd like to keep it that way. I can't leave as I am now because Superman will be on my ass quicker than I can blink!" He whined this time, "I just want a cup of coffee."
"What about your special brew?" Raven asked, coming into the room.
"I want to drink coffee as a human. That stuff will kill me if I drink it as a human."
"At least you know your limits."
"That sounded like a dig at someone, Z."
"It was."
"Why don't you just go out under a protection spell?" Raven offered, "We could cast one over you and you could leave. Superman can't hear through magic, so he won't be able to tell. Neither will Superboy."
Danny thought for a second. "You're a genius, Raven! Has anyone ever told you that?"
"A few times," she blushed.
"Well, it needs to be said more!"
Zatanna laughed. "Alright, kid, let's get you outside before you drive yourself crazy."
Practically vibrating in place, Danny waited for the protection spell to settle over him. The second it did, he was out the door and wandering the streets of whatever city the House of Mysteries decided to drop him as Danny instead of Phantom.
"Who are you," was not the question or voice he wanted to hear the second he stepped into the open as himself.
"Danny," he squeaked out through his absolute panic. He didn't dare turn around.
The sound of fabric moving minutely clues him in to the second person behind him. What the hell were these two doing out? It's the middle of the day and there's no attacks going on anywhere in Gotham!
"Where did you come from?" Robin asked.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! This was really bad! Why did the House drop him *here* of all places? Does it *want* him to die again? It was very painful the first time, thank you very much! "Illinois?"
"Was that a question or an answer?" Why is Red Robin here now?!
"An-an answer?"
"Ah, you guys are scaring the little guy!" That was Nightwing. They're surrounding him! Why is Nightwing here? This is Gotham, not Bludhaven. "Give him some room to breathe."
They did not, in fact, give him room to breathe. Maybe coming outside was a bad idea. If he gets out of this no more dead than he already was, he was going to move to the middle of nowhere and become a hermit. Smallville is a town in the middle of nowhere, right? He'll retire as Phantom and move to Smallville until the people get suspicious and burn him as a witch-!
Maybe moving to a big city would be a better idea. Or locking himself in the basement of the House of Mysteries. Yeah, yeah that's a good idea.
"-even listening?"
Oh shit. They were still talking to him! Now is not the time to panic! "Gottagobye!" And then he was running.
Good job not panicking, Danny.
Part 1 Part 3
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xueyuverse · 4 months ago
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It's ironic to me that part of the fandom insists so much that Hua Cheng's personality revolves around Xie Lian when in fact MXTX created Hua Cheng first and then had to make Xie Lian his ideal type. Like, the truth is that Xie Lian was molded for Hua Cheng. I find this contradiction very funny, I'm sorry.
But they were indeed created for each other.
Hua Cheng has a strong personality, he is firm in his ideals and beliefs, assertive in his opinions, cold in his justice and someone who does not bend the rules just to fit in, he creates a third way instead of adapting to a world that hates him and was cruel to him.
His ideal type would have to be someone as confident as him, who not only does not bend the rules, but also does not get corrupted by difficulties, someone benevolent enough to see people like him with kindness, because only someone faithful in his beliefs would be able to be so different from everything that the world says is right — because the right thing is for you to annihilate people like Hua Cheng, whether they are innocent or not, just because of a supposed curse that they did not ask for.
This meta is based on this excerpt from the afterword that MXTX put in TGCF ↓
When it comes to character designs, the Shou’s were decided on first for the first two novels, but I was torn over the Gong’s for a long time, and needed a run-in period. Hua Cheng, however, was an exception. Inspiration struck and there he was; inspiration struck again, and I blinded one of his eyes.
[...]
It was actually the Shou, Xie Lian, who tortured me for up to half a year’s time. When the novel started serializing, I was still torn over him for a long time.
[...]
But the most important thing is, by my instincts, someone like Hua Cheng will most definitely love someone like this. So, after a good half a year’s worth of qualms, in the end I still typesetted him: It’s you!
Speaking more about this postscript, I found it interesting how for MXTX, Xie Lian was the most difficult character she has ever played. People tend to think that Xie Lian only has two personality traits: (false, for many) kindness and idiocy. The idiocy may even be right lol, but when you stop to think about it, Xie Lian is a really difficult character to create and, mainly, to develop.
For all the layers he has, he could easily be a snobbish prince, a vengeful and bitter ex-prince, a fallen prince who rises again to reconquer his kingdom and reclaim his throne or a spotless saint who is always intelligent and wise and is above things like sadness, anger, lust, etc.
We know that Xie Lian is none of these things, he was not made for these plots. But if he is none of these things, then what could he be? Honestly, I find it very difficult for anyone to come to the conclusion that your protagonist is a "loser" who failed and has no ambition to rebuild his kingdom and become the new king. It's bold to make your protagonist a poor and extremely unlucky nomad, especially with the princely background that you gave him, we can see from the amount of stories out there about protagonists who lost their kingdoms and then have a path of reconquest that it's difficult not to be tempted to follow that path.
Of course, Xie Lian is a god, something greater than a prince or king, but he is a poor god, known as "the joke of the three kingdoms", he has no wealth and for 800 years he only had 1 believer that he didn't even know existed and he is also known as the "god of plague" and "immortal scrap collector", unconventional titles in the literary world lol
He must experience youthful ignorance, overestimation of his own abilities, have been laughable, been foolish, made mistakes, despaired, felt hatred, gone crazy. But he can’t run, and he can’t hide; everything is what it is. All this was killing me. Not just within the text, but outside the text too. My mediation was useless, and I’ve no energy anymore either, so in order not to be affected, I stopped looking at comments altogether. Since I always habitually vaccinate myself before a serialization begins, speculating on all the worst possible scenarios and preparing myself mentally, by the time serialization started I had already expected how all the negative comments would go down. But after much hesitation, I still thought, why not try all different kinds of characters? I haven’t tried writing a main character like this before.
— MXTX
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eroscomet · 3 months ago
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Make it Right
Chapter one- Love returned
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Pairing: Astrid Deetz x Fem!Ghost!reader
Context: Astrid and you have been dating two years before a tragic accident happened to you, ending your life. She spends a year alone somehow trying to contact you from the living as you're in the afterlife. When finding that all of her attempts are futile, she turned to her mother's ability but was quickly reminded of how her mother "somehow" could never see the people Astrid wished to see the most.
Warnings: Probably bad writing (I'm sorry), Death
Word count: 2.8k
A/N: I'm not so much familiar with tumblr other than reading. I'm not much of a writer either, this would be like the first piece I post ever. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I will correct as many as I see. Also, my brain was a bit foggy when remembering the new Beetlejuice Beetlejuice movie so if there's a mistake in that too, I'm sorry. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy. I have been heavily inspired by many other amazing writers and I hope I really do capture all of the characters as correctly as I can. Also, I'm not expecting this series to blow up, i'll add another chapter if I see many people interact with this one.
Not proof read
╰┈➤Series Masterlist
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Letʼs be honest, Astrids life was definitely not one that usually someone finds themselves in. A ‘psychicʼ mother, who Astrid believes makes things up, an artist grandmother who seems to be an emotional wreck now that her husband is dead, and finally, a father who she no longer has. Astrid couldn't recall the last time her life was stable, from the beginning it had always be something with her family.
Now, with the passing of her grandfather and her mother suddenly marrying her manager who she is blindly following and clearly not seeing how he exploits her. She finds her world completely upside down and the one time she finds someone who makes her feel at least a bit normal, the universe seems to keep taking any form of normalcy from her. Once upon a time, it had been you and Astrid. The one person who kept her head straight as her world span.
Granted, you didn't come from the perfect family either but you always had found a way to excuse their actions despite Astridʼs constant nagging about your family and their almost pertinacious attitudes.
Your mother, a woman who almost seems to so desperately want to fit in with the women of the neighborhood. Your father who loved his image and his family's image. Your older sister who was always trying to somehow one-up you. Your family cared about the big things, you always found yourself content with the small things. You had always excused their behaviors with simple statements like,
“That's just how they are.” or, “No family is perfect.”
Astrid would cave eventually to your excuses but not with good attitude. Now remembering it, it felt like such a close but distant memory. It had only been a year, almost two, of your passing and yet Astrid finds herself dug in a hole the universe seemed to only bury her deeper in. Every memory had been bittersweet. Between every laugh shared, smiling in the middle of kisses, comforting smells theyʼd grow to find solace in, compliments, listening to music together, there had also been disagreements, comforting each other about things that neither of them had caused or been involved in, emotional damage, and trying to balance finding middle ground in each otherʼs crazy lives.
A year.
The thought of it makes Astrid almost wince, thoughts that seemed to be never ending and had loose ends. Why wasn't she there? She had always thought to herself. Why didn't she stop you? Questions to be left unanswered now that you were gone and she had no one to turn to. She had gone to her mother, who she had never believed was a ghost whisperer or paranormal insighter as everyone saw her, practically begging to have her somehow see you, hear you, feel you. But, like every attempt, they were once again futile.
This had made her more angry with her mother. First, she couldn't see her father and now she can't see you. Why is that every time she needs her mother to see a certain ghost for her, she never can but for others she can? It all felt stupid to her, how could people believe her mother?
Astrid found herself visiting Winter River frequently despite not liking staying with her grandmother and mother, especially when that daft man her mother called a “boyfriend” was around. She saw right through his act of the ‘caring, loving, and supportive’ boyfriend. Yet, she felt like she was the only one who could see that. How could someone propose to someone on the day of their father's wake?! She disliked the town, even more the people who foolishly believed her mother “abilities” to see paranormal phenomenons.
Yet, there she had spent most of her free time at the town during spring, summer, and winter break. Her relationship with Winter River had always been horrible yet she couldn't bring herself to say that she hated it there. How could she say that when it was this very same town that she had met you?
Standing there once again, in front of a grave that she became all too familiar with. Yours. It was almost comical how your parents had practically milked your death with every ounce they could get from it. Parading around the town, almost as if making it an excuse to gain from. They had quickly became the family in which everyone had gone to support when you had died. People would constantly go to your home, try to show their support, bring gifts even. Your parents loved every second of the attention.
No surprise that your mother had gained popularity among the women of your neighborhood's community. They only pitied her but masked it with sympathy as your mother would say, “She would've loved to be here” whenever someone had invited her to some so-called ‘important’ event among the other dull rich women. Your father had gotten a raise from his job after your death, again, out of pity of the poor family who had lost their ‘precious’ daughter. Your sister had gotten annoyed about how much you had been the focus after your death. She had expect people to move on after months but now seeing that it has been one, almost two, years of your passing and you being the center of attention, it had made her a bit bitter.
As Astrid stood in front of your grave and the flowers that adorned it, a small half-hearted smile on her lips. Many of the times that she had found herself in front of your grave, though she thought that somehow talking to the dead and getting a response back was stupid, she had always found herself talking out-loud to your grave, hoping for a sign or response that never really came.
“I miss you. Iʼm sorry that I havenʼt visited recently. My grandfather passed away, guess heʼd be with you now, right? Sometimes I wonder if youʼre with my dad or talk to him over there. I know if you were to be listening to me, you'd be rubbing it in my face how I always thought these kinds of things were stupid and now iʼm standing here like an idiot talking to myself and expecting a response from you.”
She smiled to herself as she thought about how youʼd tease her for this. She missed the banter between the two of you, her smile somewhat fading at the empty ache in her heart.
“I wish I could say that I hate you for leaving me here by myself, knowing that life is hard. We were supposed to be going through this life together, though. I wonʼt, I canʼt. I love you and my chest is aching every single day at this back and forth in my mind of memories that we should be looking back at together, happily, and now I just get this bittersweet feeling with the horrible reminder of your death. As much as I don't like it or believe it, I wish I had somehow gained this stupid ability my mother thinks she has.”
Astrids voice had faltered as she felt a frown tugging at her lips and her tears begin to faintly blur her vision. She took a deep breath, pulling herself together as she spoke again.
“I just want you to come home. I know that I always thought it was stupid how you had said ʻhome is where the heart isʼ, but truly I had just felt so bashful to think that someone like me could possibly be someone's home. The statement itself, I had always thought was a bit corny. Now, I find myself saying that I want to go home even while being at home. Funny, huh? You were always such a sap..”
With that and a sad smile, Astrid backed away from your grave. A soft sigh escaping her lips as she once again hoped that you had somehow received her words.
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Hours later, Astrid found herself, once again, in your room. She sneaks in through the window because she hates the idea of having to knock on the front door and have a conversation with your parents. They had been supportive of your relationship, yes, but like everything else, it was for their own personal gain. They had seen how other families were inclusive so they thought if they were too, theyʼd fit in more. Astrid had already known that they wouldn't dare to go into your room.
Your family had always hated the way that you decorated your room with endless posters, music, records and vinyls here and there, you loved your music. It was drastically differently from your sister and parents which preferred a more elegant and clean look. Thatʼs why whenever there were visitors, theyʼd never introduce your room to them. Yet, it was your safe haven and Astrid knew that.
After your death, she had taken it upon herself to take care of your vinyls, CDʼs, record player, and plants, all taken cared of. She felt that it made her feel like you were still here. As if she was staying in your room while you were out and about in the town. Her imagination took her far when it came to making up excuses for your absence rather than accepting the fact that you were dead.
She hummed to herself as she finished watering the last plant in your room. Once she was finished, she had gone over to your records, flipping through each of them, trying to find a song to play. Thatʼs when she had heard a small noise in the room. It was unusual to say the least, no one had ever dared to come into your room, it was just her. She shrugged it off as nothing or simply a noise coming from your window.
Then again, a small noise. The noise of a shoe squeaking from across the room. Her eyebrows had furrowed before she whipped her head around towards the direction of the noise. Upon landing her eyes on your face. She felt as if she was dreaming but it had startled her so that she felt her vision suddenly blacking out. When falling back, all she could remember was the feeling of someoneʼs cold hands catching her.
When Astrid awoke, she found herself lying on your bed despite having passed out almost across the room near your records. She almost dreaded waking up, she could have sworn she had seen you. Was it a dream? Did she make it up in her head because she missed you so much? Her vision blurred a bit before finally focusing, the feeling of a dip in the bed and a cold hand holding hers had startled her.
Quickly, she had shot up and off of your bed. Her eyes finally landing on you who had also shot up on the other side of the bed when she did.
“Where are we going?-” You had began speaking before you were cut off by Astrids loud exclaim.
“What the fuck!”
Your eyes scanned the room, your eyebrows furrowed as you turned around to see if there had been anyone behind you which earned a scoff from the other girl.
“Wait, you can see me now?” You asked as your eyebrows raised and your eyes returned to Astrid across the bed.
“Can I see you? Yeah, the better question is can I believe it? Is this another dream?” Astrid climbed over the bed and flung herself onto you. She clung onto your, now, cold body, that hadnʼt bothered her right now.
“What's the matter? You look like youʼve seen a ghost.” Your arms wrapped around the girl almost protectively, a soft laugh escaping you.
“Not funny.” Her words were flat, but a hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She almost didnʼt know what to say as she stared at you. She had dreamed of you before, sure, but never like this. This felt too real. Your skin was more pale and less live as she had usually dreamed, your body cold, your chest was stilled, as if not taking air in or out. She hadnʼt noticed her bottom lip quivering or the tears in the corner of her eyes that had began to form.
“Hey, hey... Donʼt get all sappy on me now, iʼve been watching you this whole time! I hope you know that I followed you literally everywhere.” Your hands had gone to cup her cheeks, gently wiping away any tears as they fell from Astrid's eyes.
“Youʼd better have.” She had joked which earned another soft laugh from you. The sound of your laugh - so familiar - seemed to set her off. Her arms tightened around your shoulders as all of the feelings she bottled up over the past few months seemed to just burst out of her.
“I literally watched over you for a whole year. Trust me, I heard every word you were saying to the sky or my grave, hoping I was near to hear you. I was and I canʼt believe you've gotten all sappy, Deetz. You always told me that I was the sap and there you were spilling your guts and hoping my ghost was near.” One of her hands unconsciously moving from her cheek to her back, gently rubbing it.
“They were never one-sided conversations, I was always replying you just couldnʼt hear or see me. I did have some one-sided conversations, though. Like when youʼd be listening to my music or watching a movie and laying on my bed, moping, Iʼd be laid next to you and talk to you. I was always geeking out anyway, you know how I am about my passions.” You added and a snort escaped Astrid.
Her grip on you seemed to tighten as your voice registered in her ears. You were here, you were real.
“I know I sounded like an absolute idiot - I sounded like a broken record begging for you.” Her voice said as she buried her face into your shoulder.
“Come on, I never really left your side, Astrid. I was just hoping the entire time that what you had said about your momʼs ability being fake was real and that you'd somehow gain her ghost whispering abilities. I just wanted you to see me, hear me, feel me. Iʼve been so lonely. Sure, I hang out and laugh with you all the time but I missed actually talking to you and you bantering with me.” A frown tugged at your lips involuntarily.
“You didnʼt sound like a broken record. every word youʼd hope I had heard was beautiful - sappy - but beautiful. Gosh, you donʼt know how horrible it has been watching you cry about me and not being able to do anything about it. My ghosted body was always reaching for you but you wouldn't feel a thing. I promise you, I always held you and trying to do anything I can to get you to seem me but nothing was working.” You added as you buried your face into her shoulder, trying to get impossibly closer to her.
“Iʼm not a ghost whisperer. Don't think youʼre on the loose. I am mad at you, for the record.” Her hands balling the fabric of your shirt between her fist. She inhaled and exhaled deeply - as if your presence was the only thing keeping her grounded at the moment.
“I know, I know. I promise to make it up for the rest of my afterlife. Though, you gotta to admit, you have to believe your momʼs abilities now that you can see me. I know you said you hated the attention that your mom receives for being... Well, her. But they weren't fake after all!” You shook your head with a small laugh.
“Ghost whisperer.” You mumbled with a small smile, her hand immediately smacking you in the back of the head. Which had earned a small, ʻowʼ, from you.
“I donʼt-” She had began saying before her protest had been interrupted by a shuddering breath and a few silent tears falling from her eyes as she held onto tightly.
“I donʼt hate them.” She mumbled before sighing.
“I just-” Again, cutting herself off with a scoff. She wiped her tears as she pulled away from your embrace to scan your face with a soft smile.
“Gosh, I canʼt even remember what I was about to say. Iʼm so happy to see you and i'm a bumbling idiot and-”
“Iʼm so sorry. I've been trying everything, I swear. I even read that stupid ʻHandbook for the Recently Deceasedʼ from cover to cover many times. Only the strange and unusual could ever see me and I tried to reach for your mom but I couldn't for some reason. Slow down, we have so much to talk about.” You said as a frown tugged at your lips again. If you had a beating heart, it would have ached at Astridʼs tears. All you could find yourself doing was trying to make up for the lost time of not being able to comfort her.
┗━━━✦❘༻♡༺❘✦━━━┛
A/N: Hey, guys! I hope you enjoyed it. Should I continue writing this story? There could be multiple parts to this if you guys do enjoy this! Thank you so much for reading! Reqs and or comments, even questions, are all open on my profile! Thank you again! Also, I'd like to add that I understand that in the movie, ghosts are not permitted to leave their area of death or change their clothes. But, for the sake of this fic, let's pretend!
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hexhomos · 14 days ago
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have u seen that artists r getting death threats on twitter over hc viktor as russian 😭
I have seen a literal friend of mine get stupidly angry comments from new age arcane fans who swear up and down he's been czech all his life and it truly boggles the mind. that's straight up not true. Viktor was created as a russian communist caricature by an american corporation. he was "villainous crazy russian guy" for twelve years, the funny harry lloyd czech impression only started out 3 years ago. We're just doing cold war propaganda all over again now???
viktor being russian =/= liking the ghoulish russian government. You aren't giving Putin an endorsement, you're drawing a cartoon faggot //russian immigrant allegory// who would get deported by the CIA during the first red scare. Viktor can be russian. there's gay and trans and disabled russian people who are discriminated against & very much at risk at at a home country that is hostile and controlling towards its own citizens, and when they try to get out of that oppressive environment there's all these preloaded notions painting them as "untrustworthy" or "inherently shady" thanks to the Russian Enemy american popculture slop archetype.
My own country has gone through decades of horrific dictatorship before! Through the hands of our own military forces and highly aided by the USA, profiting off our misery! Should our people as a whole be conflated with the military troops that abducted protesters into death-torture camps? Should our people as a whole be represented by the worst geriatric nationalistic bigots who can plant themselves in power? Is this how we look at the whole world? This is a dangerous line of thought. I get that a lot of arcane fandom is young but that is a rightwing calling card line of thought. If we're all to be represented exclusively by a sum of our Leading Cops, we're deep in the muddy shit. I don't even like these pigs in a good day. If you're an american saying this, especially? LOOK AT YOUR OWN FUCKING TROOPS. YOU'RE THE IMPERIAL CAPITAL. IT'S YOU.
It also stands out to me that viktor league of legends was perfectly fine as crazy evil russian stock villain n.99999 for 10+ years, but as soon as he gets an adaptation that depicts him as empathetic/altruistic and well intentioned all the way through, humanized like a proper human being... the americans in charge conveniently drop the 'russian' part of his persona. (but oh, they keep the red scare stuff. and they keep the stuff about communism being a path to certain evil, they just cut out the russian identification, so people have a harder time criticizing it.) I don't think that is a neutral decision, and its not one I'm interested in reproducing.
It's completely fine to have your own hcs, but I don't like the shallow conversations around this. Viktor isn't a representation of the russian government; but he is, fundamentally, a byproduct of how american propaganda rules the entire world and defines who gets to be alienated as the villain forever. We used to see this with china A LOT as well (still do!), and it only changed after a whole lot of effort, be it by chinese immigrants or the proliferation of media depicting them as whole, multifaceted people, distanced from the american-made boogeymen. The common citizen is not my enemy. It shouldn't be yours either.
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cloudedcurses · 1 month ago
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How do you think Gojo spoils his partner? Gifts, affection, anything they want?
Dating Gojo will include:
⥽ an: I decided to make this request or maybe a head-cannon? I dunno, I think my answer will get through a bit easier. I'm also scratching the surface here. It'll include so much more. ᡣ𐭩
⥽ incls: S.Gojo,ᡣ𐭩.
ᝰ incls cursing. 18+ MDNI
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I have mentioned this before: He is a crazy strong sorcerer with unlimited abilities. If you've seen the show, you'd know he teases people who are of a lower rank than him—essentially everyone.
He does tease you... a lot. He loves to play pranks on you, from a tack in your chair to a random picture of a penis in your pocket he drew for you personally. (He may include poor Megumi in his shenanigans...) Satrou's childhood was shredded the second he was born. Before he could even walk, he had a bounty and was a target.
He didn't have much of a childhood. From training too perfect the six-eyes to constantly being the strongest and beholding that said standard. So, with this...when you two go on a date, the dates may be more on the childish side. Maybe a date to an amusement park, the circus, or something along those lines. He's a cannon gamer, so there's a chance he'd take you to a gaming cafe or an arcade. You will never have to pay for anything. Every date will be covered completely by him, him alone. When it comes to you, money doesn't matter to him, your happiness does. Mall dates are his favorite, going window shopping alone gives him a rush and dumps on his savior ego.
He watches you precisely, checking your body language because he knows when something has caught your attention. Before you can even ask to go into the store, he leads you right inside and sits by the dressing room. He loves watching you wear things. He enjoys seeing the boost of confidence it gives you, how you spin and strike a pose in the mirror, accepting that said item looks good on you before you ask for his opinion. Satoru is an honest man, if something looks bad on you, he'd tell you flat out. He scrunches up and shakes his head, holding his nose as if it stinks or something childishly along the lines. When something looks fantastic on you, It's purchased immediately. He sees into the dressing room with his six eyes, knowing good and well it looks good and already buying it before you can attempt to buy it yourself.
Now, Your Amazon wishlist? Brought.
He did that when you two were simply dating, before even being official.
He found your Amazon wishlist one night and purchased everything.
Imagine your surprise to have packages keep coming to your place back to back for either a week or close to a year.
Car issues? Gone.
The second your car starts to give you issues, he buys you a new one. Make it easier for him and point to a car that you'd like to have..' one day'. I'd like to mention trips as well. You don't go to Kyoto, but you go everywhere else. Paris, France. Seoul, South Korea. (Briefly) New York City, USA. London, England.
Places you've heard of and some you haven't. All you'd never ever imagine yourself going to.
He's your white knight that saves you from the darkness of the world.
If you've got a sweet tooth, you've got bonus points too.
─────────── MDNIજ ─────────────
Alright, Imma rip off the bandaid here. I'm a believer that Gojo would date someone who's slightly bigger than him, someone's a fan of sweets just like him. He practically needs it to just..exist. Unless you've got a strict diet or high metabolism, You're gonna gain weight around him while he's a lanky man. He also fancies things with you that you'd be surprised he'd want.
He wants to fuck you on a moutain of money, seeing the dollars cling to your sweaty skin.
He also wishes to fuck you on a bunch of gold. Bricks, coins, and more...he wants to see your blissful reflection on a brick of gold, pleading for more. The next thing? He wants to fuck you with candy around! Those candy bikinis or gummy panties? He wants you in it the second he sees it.
Chocolate syrup, gummy syrup or caramel.The taste of you is sweetened by the taste of candy. There's nothing better to him. Gojo has a high libido and stamina. He goes for hours and maybe longer, he gives you his all...showing you just how powerful he is to you. You think it's over...just for him to come back for more. Your body is his ultimate addiction. He uses sweets to keep him powerful and his mind sharp...but you? You are the best sweet in his life.
Just know, even with the strongest you get to experience, very few get to see...and that's when he's the weakest. After the sun is in the sky, peeking through the curtains of his expensive penthouse in the massive city. You see just how adorable he is...and admire him for just a little while.
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storiesforallfandoms · 2 months ago
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a perfect world ~ jack chambers;don't worry darling
word count: 2122
request?: no
description: in which she finds out that their picture perfect world is not as perfect as it seems
pairing: jack chambers x female!reader
warnings: swearing, use of y/n, kind of an au where jack isn't an incel but he still does the bad thing of taking the reader into the simulation, jack tries to gaslight the reader, kind of a dark fic if you think about it but not super dark
masterlist (one, two, three)
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Jack knew something was wrong the moment he walked into the house. It was the quiet that tipped him off. It was never quiet. Usually the place was filled with music. Either the soft lull of the radio, or his wife's humming, or both.
This time, though, the house was eerily quiet.
Jack came around the corner to find his wife stood at the kitchen counter. She had a glass of wine in her hand, with the bottle next to her on the counter. She was staring off into space as she took a sip of her wine, her movements almost robotic.
"(Y/N)?" Jack said, cautiously. "Love, are you alright?"
(Y/N) didn't respond at first. She took a long sip before slowly placing the glass down. Jack's worry was growing further. Not only worry for his wife, but worry for himself. If something was seriously wrong with her, then it would result in demotion, or worse, from Frank.
Finally, (Y/N) turned to face him. Her face was so calm that it scared Jack. When she spoke, her voice was also eerily calm.
"I know about Victory."
Jack tried to laugh off the comment. "My job? Of course you know about it, love."
"No," (Y/N) said, shaking her head. "I know what Victory is. I know why we're here, Jack. And what you did to me."
Jack's blood ran cold.
In his fear and anxiety, Jack started laughing again. (Y/N)'s face was still blank as she looked at him.
"I don't know what you're on about," Jack said. "I didn't do anything to you, besides put a ring on your finger."
(Y/N) chuckled, but there was no true humor behind it. "Well, yes, you did actually do that. But you didn't do it the way we've been telling the story, did you?"
Jack started to walk away. He was trying to seem nonchalant, but the panic was starting to overwhelm him. He didn't want (Y/N) to see his panic, otherwise he wouldn't be able to convince her that she was wrong.
He stopped when (Y/N) called after him, "How long do you intend to keep me in this simulation?"
Jack spun around before he could stop himself. "You are crazy! Do you hear yourself? You're talking crazy!"
Emotion was finally showing on (Y/N)'s face. It quickly went from shock to anger. "You're going to call me crazy? When you're the one who has me hooked up to a machine and making me play happy little housewife?!"
"You don't know what you're talking about!"
Jack couldn't help but quickly look around in panic. There was no way Frank was listening in on their private conversations, right? This wouldn't get back to him, would it? He needed to stop (Y/N) before things got too loud or somehow their neighbors noticed the arguing.
He tried a more calm approach, saying, "Love, I don't know where you got this idea. We are not in a simulation, you are not hooked up to machines. I'm sorry I called you crazy, but you have to understand that is how everyone will react when they hear you saying this."
(Y/N) pulled away as Jack tried to reach for her. "I got this idea when I went to the Victory headquarters."
Jack backed away from her. No, she couldn't have been to the Headquarters. None of the wives even knew where the Headquarters was, and they wouldn't be able to even go out that far.
Except for Margaret, but Ted wore he had her under control.
They locked eyes, silently daring the other to make a move. Jack had lost any sense of confidence he had mustered seconds ago. He felt like everything was about to slip from his fingers. Everything he worked so hard to build for him and (Y/N), all gone in the seconds it took for her to utter that sentence. Meanwhile, (Y/N) had gone back to looking emotionless. She didn't even realize how much she was about to lose.
When Jack didn't break the silence, (Y/N) took it as her opportunity to explain, "I was on the trolley and it broke down. The driver told me it would take some time for it to be fixed, so I offered to just walk back to town. But, oddly, the driver started trying to convince me not to get off. He was very adamant about staying on the trolley. I was a little put off by how insistent he was on it, but I thought he was just worried for my safety."
Jack felt himself unconsciously clenching his fists. The damn trolley driver. Couldn't he have been a little more subtle?
"I did stay on for a while," she continued. "But it was just the two of us, and I knew I'd get home quicker if I just walked. So I did. When the driver wasn't paying much attention, I got off and started walking. But we were in the desert, and none of us wives have ever been out that far, so I was a bit lost. I found his building I've never seen or heard of before. I knew I shouldn't go to it, but...my curiosity got the better of me."
Jack felt as though he was going to start crying. Even though he already knew the answer, he asked, "What did you see?"
"Nothing," (Y/N) responded. "Not at first. Not until I touched the building. Then I saw the truth. All of it."
Jack winced.
That's it. There's no denying her when she saw the building.
The truth was that (Y/N) was right: she was hooked up to a machine that was putting her in a simulated perfect 50s town.
In the real world, Jack and (Y/N) were really married. They fell in love young and married right after they graduated university. Everything was great, until Jack lost his job. His company was on a fast downwards spiral that resulted in a number of employees getting terminated, and Jack was one of the unfortunate ones. (Y/N) was still trying to get a job within her field of study, so she was working a minimum wage retail job. While Jack was unemployed, (Y/N) had to carry the financial burdens, and that made Jack feel awful and useless.
Then he discovered Frank and Victory.
Frank promised a perfect world and a perfect life. All Jack needed to do was work for eight hours a day, as well as all the other men within their town, for Frank; for Victory. It was a small price to pay for him and (Y/N) to live their dream life.
And now all of that work was ruined. Frank would take care of (Y/N) for finding out, whatever that meant, and Jack would be exiled from Victory.
He had to sit down.
He lowered himself into a chair at their dining table. (Y/N) was still watching him. He wished she would just do whatever she planned to do; scream, break things, go right to Frank and tell him she knew about everything. Whatever the plan, he just wanted her to get it over with. The unknown silence was killing him.
"Why?" she finally asked. "Why did you do this?"
"For us," Jack said. "So we could live a better life."
"What was wrong with our life before?"
Jack scoffed. "Seriously? (Y/N), we were struggling. I was unemployed, you were working a shitty job. You were pulling all the financial weight, and I hate that all of that was on your shoulders."
"So instead of talking to me about your feelings, you hooked me up to a machine and put me into a simulation without my consent?"
Jack hung his head. There was no way to paint that part in a good light. He hadn't brought up Victory because he was afraid (Y/N) would reject the idea, and he couldn't take their real life for much longer.
"I just wanted to take care of you," Jack said, his voice small. "You were doing it for so long, and you never complained even though I know it was tough. I didn't want you to do it anymore, and Frank offered the perfect life for us."
He heard (Y/N)'s heels clicking against the tiled kitchen floor as she approached the table. He couldn't look up at her as she leaned on the table, basically towering over him.
"What happens if Frank finds out that I know?" she asked.
Jack shook his head. "I don't completely know. He just says he takes care of it."
"Did he take care of Margaret?"
He didn't ask her how she knew that Margaret had known the truth as well. It was probably pretty obvious now that she knew. Instead, he just nodded. "And he told Ted that if he didn't get Margaret under control, then he'd be fired from Victory."
"So, if Frank finds out, this is all over for both of us?"
He nodded again. He had a feeling he knew where she was going with this. She'd go tell Frank that she knew the truth about Victory, even though it would be a risk for her to do so. But the risk would be worth it if it meant Jack was fired from Victory, sent back to the reality that he was trying to desperately to save them from. Once they were back in their own reality, (Y/N) would no doubt divorce him as well. He'd deserve it, of course.
"Then I'll just have to get really good at keeping a secret."
Jack's head shot up quickly to look at (Y/N). There was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, and there was something in her eyes as she looked at Jack.
"What do you mean?" he asked, dumbly.
"I mean, what you did was very fucked up. Like, extremely fucked up. Next time you're making big decisions like, I don't know, putting us in a fucking simulation, maybe talk to me about it first. But, with that being said...I'd be lying if I said I preferred our real life over this one."
Jack was stunned. This was not what he was expecting at all.
(Y/N) gestured for Jack to push his chair back. When given enough room, she sat herself on his lap and put her arms around his neck.
"We can't stay here forever," she told him. "We have real bodies that need to be taken care of, and families and people that will worry if we just disappear. But, it's hard to give up on this life. It's so...perfect."
"So what are you saying?" Jack asked.
"I'm saying we put a cap on how long we stay here. Give it...I don't know, another year. We let ourselves be happy, be worry free. Then, however we have to, we get out of here and we get to working on making our reality just as perfect as the simulation is."
"You'll have to go back to work."
She nodded. "I know. But I'm not opposed to working. I did get a whole degree so I could work my dream job, after all."
Jack put his arms around her. He wanted to pull her in close and not ever let her go, but he couldn't just yet. "Why?"
She furrowed her brows. "Why what?"
"Why aren't you more mad? Why aren't you going to tell Frank so that I get in trouble? Why do you want to stay here...stay with me?"
(Y/N) gave him a look like she thought he was being incredibly stupid before cupping his cheeks. "Because I love you, you idiot. And, like I said, the way you went about doing this was very stupid and wrong, but I know you did it because you love me, too. As long as you can agree with my deal, I don't see any reason to be mad and want to leave you."
Jack finally allowed himself to kiss her. It caught her off guard, which made her giggle against his lips. Every memory he had with her, both in the real world and in their simulation, came rushing back to him.
"I agree," he said. "I'll do whatever you want, I promise."
"Right now, I think I want to make love to my husband in our super cool retro bedroom," she told him. "Just to make sure I don't forget how to do that when we get back to the real world."
Jack smiled at her. "Oh, don't worry love. I won't let you forget."
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yandere-sins · 6 months ago
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i'm obsessed with the way you write yandere! dazai 🥺🥺. you really nail his character <3. i really liked the piece you wrote about him taking care of a darling who got sick, but what about if he's the one who had intentionally caused it? like imagine yandere dazai who consistently drugs his darling to make her more complicit / weak? so he has an excuse to take care of her/cuddle her <3 ?? and his darling is so out of it that she ends up craving his touch/company, wether that be the drugs in her system or her actually caving in to his desires?? aaaa i'd love to read your take on this
I'm glad you enjoyed it!! Thank you for requesting more for the special boy ♥
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
It was a bittersweet satisfaction to have you curl up in his arms.
Addictive to his desire to be with you, adore you, love you, and yet so, so toxic, feeding the greed inside of him. Dazai still remembered the good old days when you'd walk the streets of Yokohama without any worry, clouding your bright smile and your laugh ringing out so clearly, even amongst the countless voices that separated you two. He had just been an observer back then, content with watching you go a path he could only follow but never reach you on. But his desire drove him forward until your worlds inevitably collided.
It had been a while since then, but Dazai could sincerely say he still loved you like he did the very first day. Even now, your mind muddled, eyes dulled with tears left unshed brimming on your lids, you were still the same person his heart longed for. Whenever you two were apart, his soul searched for you, every one of his actions inevitably leading back to your side.
There were still parts of him tethered to his old ways, his desire to leave this world behind only excelled by the need to see you again. You were the light in a world so full of darkness, and he was a moth ever so devoted to reaching you. And yet, his own actions never sat right with him. Even if he couldn't stop hurting you, moments like these made him justify them over and over, selfishly, until he could enjoy the peace they brought.
Drugging you had never been the plan. When some ruffians dropped the pulvery substance, he had initially been inclined to burn it or throw it away, but something made him slip it into his pocket instead of surrendering it to the authorities. Life with you wasn't always easy, and Dazai grinned while reflecting, realizing life with him wasn't either. You wanted to leave his carefully crafted cage, the hold he had on you, albeit with gentle hands. He wanted you to be safe. To be with him. He needed you to vanquish the lonesome life he was forced to lead, and once you'd be gone, there would be no more light to reach out to. Where he had decided to end it so many years ago, his humanity couldn't help but cling desperately to hope, and so, Dazai clung to you. You were the answer to his lifelong questions.
You became his reason to continue living, however unwillingly you participated in this mad idea.
And yet, if he had to describe the feeling of your resting in his arms as he kneeled next to your slumped body, drugged out of your mind like a helpless little pet, it was pure elation making his chest puff, mixed with the horror of his deeds raking goosebumps across his body. Dazai hated the lengths he had to go to. Still, having you twist in his hold until you were sufficiently warmed by his body around you, he thought he could finally die happily.
If anyone had told him how much he could love someone this cute and adorable, he would have never believed them. But experiencing it now was more painful than a hundred knives in his chest and more wonderful than the peaceful relief of natural death. You were clinging with one hand to his, having wrapped your fingers tightly around it, and with just a little bit of shifting, Dazai managed to intertwine your fingers, squeezing your hand comfortingly. It was so subtle, yet it made his heart pound like crazy when you squeezed back, your body frighteningly cold, yet the heat between your palms made him sweat like a nervous little schoolboy in front of his crush.
He didn't care about your nails scratching his skin, didn't care that you were too out of it to talk or to interact with him. It was bad, so bad, that he couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear, tears welling up in his eyes at how cutely you were burying your face in his stomach. Dazai was so glad to be alive to witness that moment, no matter how terrible it must have been for you. Then again, you probably didn't even register it when he scooped you up by your shoulder, wrapping his arm tightly around you in a side hug. Moving your body as needed to hide his face against your collarbone, smell the cheap, generic body wash he bought for you, almost making him want to lick it off your skin so he could be even closer to you.
You didn't fight, didn't argue. Sometimes, you squeezed his hand back, but that was all you could do, and Dazai adored it. Hidden behind all that anger and desperation was someone longing for affection—his affection. You were searching for his warmth, relying on him for support. Even when you weren't yourself, you were the most mesmerizing being he ever had the pleasure of knowing.
"I got you," Dazai whispered, pressing you even tighter against him. You might not have realized it yet, but you loved him, too. That was the conclusion Dazai came to. You knew he had your back and would always take good care of you for as long as he lived. He wanted to promise you forever, but maybe this lifetime would be enough. That's how he justified his selfish actions: deep down inside you, you loved him, too. There was no other explanation for it, and he'd wait for you to realize it, even if it took all your life.
Glancing at the small, clear bag filled with white powder resting on the kitchen counter, Dazai quickly averted his eyes, telling himself it would be okay. It was just a helpful tool to bring out your true feelings. To help you two get closer and bond. It would be fine if he kept using it. He was happy, and you were happier like this, too.
Happiness was best shared between both of you.
Now, he only had to figure out where he could get more drugs to ensure it.
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vigilskept · 1 month ago
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gnashing my teeth thinking about how veilguard talks about the gods only as a joke when they could've gone somewhere truly crazy.... you're so right.
Yeah... you get it. It's just such a missed opportunity!
I don't even mind the jokey tone they use a lot of the time, because we all joke about things we struggle to understand/cope with.
Except Veilguard refuses to let you even try to broach the subject beyond that surface level. In fact, when it does let you engage with it at all, it manages to make things even less nuanced!
I'm just going to talk about Bellara's quest here since it's the most directly linked with the elven gods, and it's already a lot. Fundamentally, her companion quest is asking us two things:
Should elves be blamed for the actions of the Evanuris?
Should they preserve any of their past at all?
The first one is absurd to even begin with. It's not even a good or interesting take on the (very christian!) question: "Are we responsible for the sins of our ancestors?"
The Evanuris are not the ancestors of modern elves. Dalish religion implies that modern elves descend from those who the rebels never freed from slavery to the Evanuris.
This setup is already awful without looking at any of the parallels Bioware has (intentionally) drawn between the elves of Thedas and Jewish/Indigenous people. I have to put the rest of this under the cut because I genuinely don't think it can be shortened without making it sound flippant. In the context of the coding of the elves, the theological/social implications of all of this are so much worse.
TLDR: the indigenous/jewish coding of the elves makes bioware's treatment of elven religion in veilguard thoughtless at best, cruel at worst. they did not have to write themselves into this corner. there was a way of handling this lore reveal without the implication of elven religion (again, jewish/indigenous coded) being obsolete
So, the religion of the Dalish was part of their enslavement. It's the belief they were forced into by the cruel gods they are still devoted to. That's already pretty bad. How could it get worse, you might wonder?
Whether Bioware deviated from their initial inspirations for the elves or not, the implications for these lore reveals in light of those parallels are particularly cruel. Those two core questions in Bellara's quest? Yeah. Those have both been levied against the oppressed groups that Bioware chose to draw inspiration from. Both historically and presently. To justify atrocities against them.
And to be clear, Bioware does not deviate from or subvert the usual indigeous and jewish-coding of the elves in their writing here. If anything, they end up actively endorsing a very significant element of antisemitic and anti-indigenous sentiment.
Indigenous-Coding
Advocates of colonisation have always justified it by arguing they were 'saving' groups of people who were stuck in the past. They had been ‘left in the dark’ through ignorance of Christianity. In the more secular sense, this was framed as Europeans having journeyed through history to reach enlightenment, while the rest of the world was still in an ‘uncivilized’ state.
Christianity and progress had to be brought to these people to save their souls and bring them into the future with everyone else. Their Gods? There were only two possible ways to frame those. Either they were not real at all, or they were evil. Either way, they were obsolete.
In the Americas, these arguments were still used when corralling indigenous children into residential schools or tearing them from communities through the adoption system. Governments pushed the idea that they had to be forced to assimilate because they were 'backward' in their practices and beliefs.
In the settler-colonial state Canada, where Bioware is based, it's still common enough to hear people justify all of this as having been done "for their own good." Even those who admit that the ways colonization was perpetuated were cruel will still try to defend it by telling you, "it was bad, but their ancestors weren't saints either."
Sounding painfully familiar yet? A little uncomfortable in the context of Bellara's questline?
Jewish-Coding
Since the dawn of Christian Church, Jewish people have had a very fraught place in Christian theology. Christianity claims that that the coming of the messiah in the person of Jesus Christ makes the religion of Judaism obsolete. Christians believed the obvious answer to this problem was that Jewish people should convert.
When many did not, they were labeled as ignorant, obstinate, stuck in the past. They were so focused on their history that they couldn't see the truth which had been revealed in the present. There’s a significant legacy of this idea in Christian artwork with depictions of Synagoga blindfolded next to the clear eyed Ecclesia. You still hear echoes of this sentiment in antisemitic language today.
As for the nature of the Jewish God... there is some deviation here. For some Christians, He is God the Father, and He is good. For others — and this idea has been around from early Christianity till now — He is the Creator of the material world, but He is evil.
There are innumerable variations of Christian gnosticism that probably wouldn't be productive to get into on a Dragon Age Blog. What I need to underline here though, is that the idea of the Old Testament God as the devil/the demiurge/fundamentally evil, has been used to justify atrocity towards Jewish people for over a thousand years.
Should elves be blamed then? For the sundering of the Titans? For the Veil? For the Blight? For the evils of this world, created by their Gods?
Implications for Veilguard
Not only is religion in Dragon Age: The Veilguard often devoid of nuance or ignored outright, when the game does engage with it at all, it does so in a way that quite literally draws on these incredibly harmful antisemitic and anti-indigenous sentiments that have been (and still are) used to perpetuate real harm.
To be clear, I don't think the writing here intends to endorse the idea that elves should be blamed for any of what's going on. Bellara's anxieties are being projected onto her people as a whole while she grapples with what this all means for her, I get that. In fact, you could be generous and read some of this as a critique of this particular kind of anti-indigenous/jewish bigotry.
However, I don't think that absolves the writers of any of the implications they've created by confirming that the elven pantheon did exist and was canonically evil.
Elements of Dalish/elven culture might be preserved after all this, but the conclusion the game railroads you into is that their religion is obsolete. Just like Judaism. Just like the many Indigenous religions around the world. Except in Dragon Age: The Veilguard, it’s no longer just the bigotry of outsiders claiming that to be the case. It’s now the objective truth of the setting.
Going forward, the elves of Thedas can keep their culture, but they can’t practice their religion. If they continued to practice, they would be framed the way the Venatori are: evil and stuck in the past. This really can’t be overstated: this is the exact rhetoric that has justified centuries of violence and oppression of Jewish and Indigenous people. This rhetoric is still around and still weaponized.
It’s so cruel to create an in world ‘lineage’ that draws so heavily from their cultures and histories, then validate the rhetoric that has been used to hurt them. At best, it’s thoughtless. But as a company based in a settler-colonial state, this is something they should’ve put thought into, given that they chose to code their elves and Jewish and Indigenous. That was their responsibility, actually.
What gets me about all this is that they actually didn't need to force that conclusion at all. They could have kept the Evanuris as cruel tyrants without demonising the Creators and their worship at the same time.
The Evanuris weren't always Gods. They weren't even always rulers.
In Trespasser, when asked how they became Gods, Solas tells Lavellan that they did so slowly. That it started with a war. That fear bred a desire for simplicity. For right and wrong. For chains of command. That generals became respected elders, then kings, and finally gods.
Veilguard confirms all of this. The addition it makes is that before all this, the first elves were spirits who made their bodies out of the Titans. This all occurred over the course of thousands of years.
None of this needs to be retconned in order to allow for a respectful yet nuanced portrayal of religion!
TLDR pt2: bioware, u could’ve avoided literally ALL of this by making the evanuris part of a priestly class who seized power after the war with the titans. it wouldn’t even have undermined ur lore! u could’ve kept dalish religion alive! u could’ve implied complex political dynamics for your ancient elves without even having to write it! why didn’t you even try?
Trying to Fix This Mess
Say the elves took their bodies from the Titans and settled the lands of Thedas. Say the Titans even allowed this for a time. The dwarves were made from their own bodies after all.
Yet the elves didn't have the same connection with the Titans as the dwarves did. They had no stone-sense, so they couldn't understand the Titans' song.
Generations down the line, some of them took too much from the Titans. More than they were willing to give. That was when the Titans lashed out, making the earth tremble so that all the elves had built crumbled beneath them.
And what if the firstborn among the elves had taken up priesthood to guide the younger ones. They were closer to spirits than the elves that were born into this world, and so the younger ones looked to them for guidance. Maybe they were the ones who were trusted to reach out to the more powerful of the spirits who chosen stay in the Fade, their old kin who preferred to keep their distance from the physical world to preserve the essence of what they were. The spirits of Justice, of Benevolence, of Craft. Those who the elven people paid homage to, and trusted to preserve them in turn.
So when everything seemed to fall apart, the elves turned to their Keepers, their priests, and asked of them what they ought to do. How could they make the earth stop shaking? What would they have to do to be at peace again?
Whatever the spirits themselves may have responded, many of the Keepers (among them the Evanuris) took up arms and chose war. They saw it could be won so they fought, sundering Titans from their dreams and stilling the land.
And yet there was no peace.
Some Keepers sought to hold on to their power as generals, and wanted to wage war on new shores to keep it. Some Keepers thought they had already gone too far, claiming they had acted without the guidance of the spirits who hadn't wanted war.
These Keepers could've caused chaos and endless bloodshed, so the Evanuris formed their alliance to suppress the others. Likely, they thought they were doing so for the benefit of all the elven people. More war meant more death, and it was needless now that the land was still. And even if what they did to the Titans was wrong, it was done and they could not fix it. Better to silence those who meant to stir up fear among the people.
The Evanuris fought until they were the last faction left, naming the few holdouts the Forgotten Ones. They were praised for bringing peace to Elvhenan, and trusting in their guidance their people crowned them as rulers.
Yet some dissent always remained. None of them were infallible. They were no longer spirits, they hadn't been for thousands of years. They were now more accustomed to command than to priesthood after all that war. They had drawn on the power they had stolen from the Titans to gain the advantage over their enemies, and the corruption of the Blight was starting creep in, ever-so-slowly.
Maybe some of the people, unhappy with their rule, started to voice the thought that was expressed by their rival Keepers once more: that the Evanuris had grown distant from the spirits. That Elgar'nan didn't serve Justice anymore. That Mythal had strayed from Benevolence.
So Evanuris took the mantle of godhood for themselves. It was only for peace and stability.
It would be too dangerous if anyone could claim they were deviating from the will of the spirits, so they would claim they were those great spirits. Elgar'nan was Justice, Mythal was Benevolence. They would use their rule only for the benefit of the people, not abuse their power.
And there you go. None of what I've written above can't be neatly incorporated into the existing lore of Veilguard. It leaves the elves of Thedas precisely where they started in Dragon Age: Origins. Distant from their ancient Gods, trying to pick up the pieces of their forgotten past.
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farfromstrange · 10 months ago
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Halloween | Matt Murdock x F!Reader
PART 5 of The Vault
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See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Summary: Matt hasn't been paying attention to you lately. So, on Halloween, you decide to try and get his attention in a way he can't refuse.
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), Dom!Matt, choking, praise, degradation, unprotected p in v, no foreplay, slight orgasm control, mentions of oral sex, use of "good girl", Matt looks like a bore in the beginning, there is a stranger who can't take a hint, a very common Halloween costume, protective!Matt, cliché tropes
Word Count: 4.7k
A/n: This is... well, let's just say that you can tell that it was written a while back and then rewritten in parts by Me today because the smut lacked depth, BUT I do kind of like it. It's a Halloween fic, so apologies about that. For this, I got inspired when I bought my "I'm Not Daredevil" sweater in 2022. Plus some general horny thoughts during my first Kinktober on Tumblr that I didn't participate in (2022). I hope you like it anyway.
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He hasn’t paid enough attention to you lately.
Between work and the nights spent protecting the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, he is hardly home. He tries to be, but he fails almost every time. The bed is starting to grow colder, and his scent lingers only half-heartedly in the atmosphere. You miss him. You miss his touch, his skin, his voice but most importantly, you miss the spark. It has been two weeks of Matt being slumped, but that is more than enough to drive you crazy.
When it gets colder outside, you need your boyfriend by your side, to hold you and cherish you like he usually would. You miss being desired by someone. You miss being the center of his world. Not that you want him to ignore his responsibilities forever, but just for a few hours, you want him to yourself wholeheartedly. Missing him when he isn’t gone is the worst feeling, and it often leads to tensions in your relationship. 
Matt can be so selfless that it sometimes starts to look and feel like he is being selfish by going after what he deems to be right. He doesn’t realize it though, not until he is hit over the head with it and suffers a concussion.
As Halloween rolls around the corner, having an absent boyfriend grows into a problem you can no longer ignore. And you don’t want to, either.
Karen decided to throw a party, and she sent out invites to her closest friends months ago to make sure everyone could somehow fit it into their schedules. She has invited everyone she knows and encouraged those to bring their friends as plus ones. Costumes are mandatory.
Halloween used to be your favorite holiday, but this time, you aren’t even sure if you can make it to the party without getting pitiful glances because your plus one has to be busy—the plus one that Karen also invited separately because he is her colleague and friend. 
Matt doesn’t seem to care much about Halloween, especially not this party. Even though it’s not only important to Karen but to you, he has expressed how much he doesn’t want to go because he can’t neglect his Daredevil duties for one night. Not right now. 
When you reminded him a few weeks ago, he told you that the 31st of October is boring and overrated, kissed you, and then you both went to bed. 
You decided that night that it was time to use a different set of weapons. If Matt knew, he would go crazy, but that is what you aim for. You want him to go crazy. Crazy for you. 
The first step of your plan sounds easier than it is: convince him to come with you.
“You going to Karen’s party?” he asks you one evening before going out into the night.
You answer curtly, “Yeah.”
“Got a costume?”
“You know I do.”
His lips curl into a smirk. “Are you going to let me feel it? Or do you want me to guess?” 
“I want you to come with me.” You help zip his Daredevil suit back up. “I want you to put the mask down and come with me. Karen invited the both of us,” you say. “She’s gonna be asking questions.”
If it’s the disappointed cadence of your voice or the fact that he’s curious about what you’re going to wear, you’re not sure, but when he suddenly agrees, you’re taken aback. “I’ll join you guys later,” he murmurs. “Right now–“
Your excitement falls flat again. “The city needs you. Yeah, I know.” 
You’re starting to grow sick and tired of that sentence. He doesn’t deserve this. He is trying his best, and you act like a needy child. You’re angry while he is saving lives and making sure the streets are a little safer. But you stood by for weeks without complaining once that you felt a bit neglected. You always show him unwavering support. Even now, you want nothing more than for him to do what he needs to do, but you do so with a bitter aftertaste. And a lot of misplaced jealousy. 
Not having him close is torture. You need him. Even dressed in protective red leather, he looks too hot to handle, and that makes you crave him even more.
You brush off the ache in your core and focus on getting him dressed for the night. You don’t want him to get hurt.
“You going to wear the costume?” you ask.  
He cocks an eyebrow. “You mean the sweater that says ‘I’m not Daredevil?’”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know.”
“Come on, it’s a joke only the four of us will understand. It’s perfect!”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says, his unfocused eyes darting up toward the ceiling. “I just… How about I just put a suit on and say I’m James Bond?”
“Please?” You wrap your arms around his neck. 
He sighs warily in response. “Will you tell me what your costume is?”
“No,” you answer plainly.
That’s the second part of your plan; wear the most revealing costume you could wear, and drive him crazy when he does appear at the party and hears you mingling. When he smells your bare skin, and when he realizes that you’re getting all the attention he should be giving you. 
“Please,” he copies your pleading tone, lips pursed into a frustrated pout. The conflict in his eyes is not yet covered by the red mask. 
He’s contemplating. For a moment, he considers staying. He wants to spend time with you; he wants to go to the party and have fun. You love Halloween and he would do anything to make you happy, but he can’t. The city is busier than usual. Louder. More intense. His ears can’t seem to catch a break. He tries to focus on you, to tune out the noise, but he fails miserably every damn time.
He doesn’t sleep, not much, and he barely eats anymore because he drowns himself in work so deeply that he forgets his basic needs. He just needs it all to stop. He has to go out to get some semblance of relief—to fight, to get his fists bloody, and come home exhausted enough to get a few hours of shut-eye before the cycle inevitably repeats itself.
It has been like this for weeks now. He is always overstimulated, always overworked; he can’t even kiss you sometimes because the thought alone burns his skin. It hurts that much.
He isn’t going to stop. You know that. You understand, but even the devil’s advocate grows tired sometimes. 
You’re so tired of the distance. You are so tired of him not talking to you when something is bothering him, and you’re tired of having to pretend it doesn’t bother you. 
Still, neither of you want to start the conversation. It’s a series of petty attempts to gain attention, a constant tiptoeing around each other until one of you caves. 
You peck his lips. “You come to the party, you find out,” you say. “You don’t, I guess I’m showing all of this ass for nothing.”
His ears perk up. “You’re what?” 
“Nothing,” you wave him off. 
“No, what did you just say?”
“I said you should come to the party.”
“After that. Is it—I swear to God if you’re wearing something short…”
“Then what? You gonna drag me home and spank me?” You scoff, trying your best to hide the fact that this is exactly what you want him to do.
The silk of your dressing gown hits the floor. It’s time to play even dirtier than before. Your plan is made to be adaptable, after all.
Matt stops breathing. “This isn’t fair,” he growls.
You smirk. “You should go.”
“You’re torturing me, you know that?”
“You decided to go out tonight,” you counter.
“Because I have to.”
“Do you?”
He curses under his breath, “Fuck. Okay, whatever game you’re playing, sweetheart, I need you to stop.”
You’re nowhere near satisfied. In all of your naked glory, you take a step forward. “Or what?” 
“Or,” he says, and his voice lowers barely above a dangerous whisper, “I’ll stuff your cunt with my fingers until you’re begging me to come. And then, just when you’re about to, I’ll pull away and leave you to take care of it yourself because I know you won’t be able to come without my help. That’s what I’m gonna do if you keep teasing me like that.”
Your jaw drops. You’ve got him right there, with his teeth buried in the hook, but he knows that if he lets the trap fall shut, you win. This isn’t just a desperate attempt at getting his attention anymore—you’ve got that now. This is turning into a game. 
Matt smirks, hearing the uptick of your heartbeat. He thinks he’s so smart. Reaching out, he cups your bare pussy with his rough palm, eliciting a sweet moan out of your mouth that shoots right to his cock. “Already so fucking wet for me,” he purrs. 
His touch feels like electroshocks shooting right into your bloodstream. It has been way too long, and you’re already burning for him before you can even fight back.
You want to beg him to keep going, but as quickly as he has put his hands on you, he retreats again. 
Matt marvels at the feeling of your slick between his thick fingers. He takes a whiff. Your arousal is so prominent in the air that his face contorts in agony. And then, he slides the digit into his mouth. Your distinctive taste explodes on his taste buds, and he moans, “Delicious.”
The show he’s giving you is utterly erotic, and it takes everything in you not to drop to your knees and take his aching cock out of his suit. 
Pressing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, he whispers, “I’ll see you later.” 
He’s gone before you can protest.
He’s not the only one who has tricks up his sleeves though, and you’re more than ready to seek your revenge later tonight and finally get what you so deeply crave from him. He has to let go eventually, and he has to pay attention to you for longer than five minutes. You both need it.
Dressed in your costume and with a bottle of liquor, you make your way to Karen’s apartment. You’re determined to make this night last. Well, at least long enough for Matt to arrive, and then it’s showtime. 
Your friend greets you with a welcoming hug. Her small living space is already crowded, and you make your way through toward the table with the drinks. You can feel several eyes on you. Without your coat on, the costume you’re wearing leaves little to the imagination. You wonder if Matt can smell you across the city, wherever he may be right now. Maybe he does, and maybe he can tell what the thought of him is doing to you. Maybe he can tell that this is exciting you and he will cut his patrol short tonight. But you know he isn’t paying attention to you. He only does so when he fears that you’re in danger.
“And who are you supposed to be?” a low voice asks beside you.
You turn to find a tall guy dressed as a werewolf approaching the punchbowl to your right. 
“The tag said ‘slutty witch’,” you answer. “But I find the term a bit… problematic, so I’m a witch who likes to wear very short clothes on very cold days.”
He chuckles. Underneath his makeup and the fake fur, you can’t make out his features, but it’s not like you care anyway. “Well,” he says, “you’re a very beautiful witch.”
Oh, now he’s flirting with you. 
Your plan for tonight includes mingling to draw attention to you and make Matt jealous when he gets here, not flirting with strangers. You would never do that to Matt. You also don’t feel the need to flirt with anyone who isn’t your boyfriend, even though the attention does make you blush for a moment— mostly out of discomfort. 
You’re not interested in this man. Werewolves are only your type when they’re fictional, and even then you will always prefer your devil over hairy mythological creatures. 
You take a sip of your drink. “I accept the compliment,” you say. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” the man answers. He takes another step toward you. “Are you here alone?”
You take a step back. “Yes, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Playing hardball, huh?”
“No, actually, I’m just not interested.” 
“Nah, I don’t believe that. Is it another guy? It’s a guy, right? It has to be a guy.”
You glare at him. “Why? Because you’re so hot and irresistible and can’t take no for an answer?” Your voice drips with sarcasm. 
He leans toward you, and he’s getting dangerously close to your personal space. “You think I’m hot. You said it,” he says. 
Thankfully, he turns around to pour himself a cup of punch before touching you against your will. You wouldn’t hesitate to snap his neck like a twig. 
Your heart is pounding as the adrenaline mixes with fury in your veins. You forget about Matt and the fact that you dressed like this for him. He will appreciate it, and his opinion matters most to you. You just hope that this guy will leave it be so you can join your friends on the other side of the room.
“No offense, dude,” you tighten your grip around your cup, “but I think I’d rather be anywhere but here.”
Karen and Foggy are mingling somewhere, and you know that you’re definitely safe with them. 
The werewolf smirks. “Can I come?” 
Before you can tell him off, the very thing you thought wouldn’t happen happens. 
“I believe the lady said she’s not interested,” Matt pipes up behind you.
So he was listening to you from across the city. His locked jaw is an indication that he is fuming inside. More than fuming. He’s about to explode.
Oh fuck. 
He appears next to you, and one look at him makes you beam. He is wearing the red sweater with the big, white “I’m Not Daredevil” written on it. He even put on the antlers. 
The werewolf takes a good look at him when he wraps his arm around your waist, and he finally retreats. “She’s all yours,” he says. 
“Yeah, she is,” says Matt. You can’t see his eyes, but the rest of his face is expressive enough to give the other man a faint idea of what he is capable of. As innocent as he may look, he isn’t.
There’s a certain dominance he carries that could make any grown human being weak in their knees. You are the only one who would voluntarily do so and thank him, and beg him for more. 
Once the werewolf has disappeared, Matt turns you toward him. His feral demeanor slips for just a moment. “Are you okay?” he asks softly. He cradles your face in his hand, his thumb brushing your cheekbone, and you once again find yourself on fire.
For you, he put the costume on. For you, he came. And everything you have been struggling with these past weeks while he was absent feels so stupid now because he has been trying from the start, you just didn’t want to see it because you were so upset and needy. 
You nod weakly, leaning into his touch. “He was just…weird,” you murmur. Reaching out, you touch his sweater. “You’re wearing the costume.”
Matt shows the faintest hint of a smile before it completely fades from his face again.
“Yeah,” his answer is breathless. “But what the fuck are you wearing?” His hand slips from your waist to your exposed thighs with a low growl. A shiver ripples through him.
“A costume.”
He brushes over your ass, and there is hardly anything there to cover the fishnets you’re wearing. If he grips a little tighter, he will hold your flesh in his hands. Just a little lower and he will touch your wet cunt. Your scent is overwhelming, and the feeling of your skin in the crowded room makes all the lights in his brain go dark as they burst. He’s already so hard in his jeans. 
“Was this your plan all along?” he asks. His grip on your cheek tightens, and the other hand grabs your ass. “Get me to come with you just to hear your thighs brush against each other? To smell how wet you are with barely any fabric covering your pussy? Did you want me to bend you over in front of everyone just so I’ll touch you? Are you that desperate?”
You’re in trouble. Big, big trouble—and it’s exactly what you wanted. To be fair, it stands in a slightly different light now, but it’s Halloween. Things always go differently than planned on Halloween.
You swallow thickly, fluttering your lashes at him as innocently as you can. “You’ve been so busy,” you confess, “and I just missed you. I missed you so much, baby. I had to do something to get your attention.”
He bares his teeth. Those gorgeous teeth behind those gorgeously plump lips. You can only imagine them on yours. You can only imagine what it will feel like to have him between your thighs now, wildly licking at your slick folds while thrusting his skilled fingers in and out of your cunt. God, you want that. You need it. The thought alone is enough to make your thighs clench, and you cross them. You’re positively dripping. 
“Listen to me,” he demands, and his grip moves to your chin. “You’re going to finish that drink, alright? You’re gonna drink up, you’re gonna say goodbye to Foggy and Karen, and then we’re going to get out of here so I can fuck that feeling of inadequacy right out of that beautiful head of yours. Are we clear?”
You stare into your reflection in his glasses. The blood is rushing in your cheeks. You don’t trust your voice; all you can do is nod.
“Good girl.” His hand drops from your face. 
You’re shaking. Your knees are weak, and your legs feel like jelly. You breathe and you live solely for him. He has a power over you that is almost embarrassing to admit to. 
When you try to down the rest of your punch in one gulp, Matt stops you. By slowing you down, he’s teasing you. You suppose that you deserve it, but you’re not sure how much longer you can wait. 
It takes an agonizing while for you to finish your drink, say goodbye to your friends, and call a cab. Matt keeps his hands to himself. It’s so unlike him, but it gives you an idea of what’s to come, and the anticipation is killing you.
The door to his apartment hasn’t even fully shut behind you when he flips you around and pushes you against the wall, chest first. He does it with such force that your palms burn upon landing. You gasp.
“You’ve been teasing me all night,” he rasps into your ear. “I put this costume on for you. To be nice. If I’d known you would make it your mission to make my dick hard in front of dozens of people, I would have fucked you before going out tonight.”
You know that he wouldn’t have, but the thought still sends shivers down your spine. Not a single coherent thought is left in your mind.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t–” you break off into a moan.
Your tights are torn in two by his eager hands, and you moan when he pulls you back against his hard cock. You can feel his straining against your pants against your now bare skin. You want to reach out and touch him, but he won’t let you. 
And then, his palm lands flat on your bare ass cheek. He doesn’t even bother to take the rest of the costume off.
“You didn’t mean to?” he asks. “Are you sure about that?” 
You buck your hips. His dark chuckle grazes your ear. 
“Answer me, sweetheart.”
“I meant to,” you cry out when his hand comes back down on your red ass cheek. It stings, but the pain shoots straight to your middle where it settles in your needy core. “And I don’t regret it.”
“That’s better.” 
“Please.” You don’t know what you’re begging for, but this aching emptiness is driving you crazy. You need his cock, and it’s becoming pathetically obvious.
Matt gives your backside another slap before pressing you further against the wall. “Don’t ever doubt that you’re the most important thing in the world to me,” he says. “But slutty witch? You know what that does to me?”
You can’t help but smirk. “Yeah.”
He tears the underwear under your skirt in two. 
“If you want to be a slutty witch,” he presses his lips to your ear, “then act like it.”
Without a warning, without preparation, he thrusts into you. Your lips part in a lustful moan. 
Matt is relentless. One arm wraps around you, the other around your throat. He thrusts his hips upward, filling you to the brim with his cock. He pulls out just enough to move past your G-spot and directs the tip of his cock toward that spongy spot that makes you see stars. 
His name tumbles from your lips like a mantra. Matt, Matt, Matt… 
Your chest deflates. The corset of your costume is so tight, you can’t breathe. Your nipples ache underneath the fabric. They want to be free. They want to be touched. 
“Matt,” you beg. 
He doesn’t hesitate to open the ties at the front, pulling you free from the metal cage. 
The air gets knocked out of your lungs. He tightens his grip, locking the oxygen in your windpipe. Skin slaps against skin, moans fill the air scented with the stench of sex and every time his cock penetrates your tight walls, he pushes you further to the edge of the precipice.
From around your waist, he moves his arm down and his hand to your pussy. He catches your clit with precision. His thrusts speed up. They hit deeper and harder, and your eyes roll back into your head.
Matt, Matt, Matt…
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he grunts. “Such a good little slutty witch for me, sweetheart. Push back against me.”
He doesn’t have to tell you twice. You move your hips back to meet his thrusts. He lets out a moan of his own, digging his teeth into the soft flesh of your shoulder.
“That’s it.” He rubs in rapid circles over your clit. Your body is begging for a release.
The wall feels cold against your heated forehead. His fingers tighten around your throat again, causing you to clench around his cock. He twitches. You can feel every desperate drag of him inside of you, and he only keeps on giving you more, and more, and…
Your hand finds his against against the wall. The warning of your impending orgasm gets lost, but he doesn’t need verbal confirmation for something that he can feel every time he thrusts into the walls of your cunt that are hugging him so tightly, he is holding on by a thread. 
As if to distract himself, Matt lands another harsh slap against your bottom. “Who do you belong to?” he asks, feeling the flesh jiggle under his touch. 
You moan. “You, Matthew. Only you!”
Your screams of pleasure are music to his ears. He repeats the motion of his hand. You will have imprints on your skin tomorrow, and he will proudly feel them before you have to go to work. Leaving his mark on you is an exciting thought.
His balls tighten. He won’t last much longer if you keep squeezing him like that—if those thoughts keep popping into his head, and he barely manages to keep himself from coming right then and there, coming deep inside of you and fucking his cum into you until you#re overflowing. 
The pain from the sloppy spanking—he isn’t capable of seriously hurting you—floods your system and your pussy at the same time, amplifying the lewd noise echoing in his otherwise silent apartment. With the added wetness, the circles he rubs over your clit with his calloused fingers become impossibly faster. The sensitive bundle of nerves starts to scream; you can barely take it anymore, but you need his permission to come. In this scene, at least. You must always wait for his permission when he punishes you like this. 
You have a safe word for a reason, but you’re too blissed out to care. You love what he’s doing to you. You love how it feels, and you love how well the little pain he introduces you to every time mixes with the pleasure that consumes you whole. 
He buries his nose in your neck. You smell of sweat, salt, and his shampoo. It makes you feel better, you told him. To him, it’s a sensory dream. You complete him, and your scent complements him in ways he doesn’t fully understand. All Matt knows is that it makes him feel good, and not just because he gets a little possessive sometimes. It’s a warmth that runs deeper than the words of the English language could describe.
Again, he flicks your clit. “I want you to come,” he finally says the five words you have been waiting for. “I want you to come all over my cock, and I want you to scream my name so this entire city knows who’s taking care of you.”
Your pussy clenches around him again, and with a shout, you come undone. Your legs shake as the coil in your lower stomach snaps, tearing down your walls. You spasm, and you cry out his name. No feeling could ever be as powerful as the orgasms that Matt manages to give you. They are like tsunamis, and they know no mercy. They are a force of nature that no one can control. You know it will happen, but you never know the force of it until it happens. And every time it does, you feel like you’re floating in a world far from home where only he, his godly hands, and his cock exist. 
Matt fills you with his cum after a few more sloppy thrusts. He comes hard, and it doesn’t seem to stop for quite a while. He’s leaking onto your thighs at this point, but the stickiness is only another reminder of him, and it makes you feel warm inside. 
With your breathing slowed to a more acceptable pace, you allow yourself to lean back against him. “Wow,” you mumble. 
He catches some of his cum from the inside of your thigh. “Yeah,” he says. “Wow.”
You greedily open your mouth. The salty essence of him spreads over your tongue. He’s the only man whose taste you would carry with you proudly for days. 
The kiss Matt delivers to your cheek is sweet. 
“Did you like my—” 
He cuts you off, “Yeah. Too much.”
“But it did work,” you say. 
“You could’ve just talked to me.” 
You look over your shoulder, you notice that he’s still wearing his costume, minus the glasses. His hazel eyes are full of hurt. Shame. Guilt.
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t think you’d listen.”
“I always listen,” he says. “Even when you think I don’t.”
You whimper at the loss of his cock when he pulls out. Matt doesn’t turn you around right away, and for a split second, you fear that this will turn into an argument. 
Instead, he sweeps you up into his arms.
“Don’t disappear on me again,” the plea is whispered directly into his ear.
His hold on you tightens, carrying you toward your shared bedroom. “I won’t.”
“Thank you.”
“I love you.” The sincerity in his voice lights the candle in your soul that threatened to go out. 
You answer without missing a beat, “I love you too.”
“Do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
Matt throws you down on the mattress. “Keep the costume.”
Halloween might just become his favorite holiday, after all. 
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Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617 @pigeonmama
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ang3lc · 2 months ago
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Hi! This is the first time I make request and sorry if my english isn't good but I've been reading a lot of smut of daryl lately and now i am craving some angst. Could you write one where the reader is younger than daryl (maybe she's around 23) and she has a huge crush on him but daryl doesn't want too acknowledge her feelings because she's younger than him. But then daryl realised that he's crazy about her too when reader is trying to move on from him.
Thank you! Mwah!
I turned this into smut, and kinda strayed away from what you asked I'm so sorry, also i just found this in my drafts from like a year ago, i am SO sorry pookie
-> not proofread, straight stream of consciousness vibes
farm!daryl, kinda smut, mdni, ignore the lack of capitalization, I did this on my phone
from the second he saw you smoking way up in that tree, he knew he'd be better off hightailing it back to atlanta.
the eldest greene sister. and boy did herschel have a lot to say. When daryl and his group arrived at herschel's farm, daryl's initial thought was that it must've been a weed farm, mainly because he could smell the damn plant from at least a mile away.
okay, not really. herschel picked up on the scent as he greeted the group outside and followed daryl's gaze to you, propped up in a tree, puffing away at your diy bible-rolled joint as you doodled in a notebook
"would you stop with the damn plants for a second? We have visitors." herschel called out to you. you hopped on out of the tree and made your way over to the group, snuffing out the joint and stuffing it in your pocket for later.
what? it's not like there's anywhere you could buy some more.
"thought we weren't taking anybody in?" you said to your dad, sizing up the group before your eyes landed in daryl.
herschel had responded, but either the weed kicked in or the world must've suddenly gone mute, because the only thing you could hear was your heart beating.
he had made eye contact with you, but quickly adverted his eyes and fixated on the grass, which became the most intriguing thing in the world to him.
herschel continued talking and negotiating with the group's leader as you stood there, your eyes flickering between daryl and the rest of the group.
herschel had allowed them to stay until a kid you discovered to be carl–who got shot by otis) heals up. much to your dismay, you could see the brooding archer setting up camp right underneath your designated smoke spot. not that you minded having a man that absolutely devour-able underneath you as you indulged, but it was still your tree. you had headed inside to make some dinner for carl when you spotted him through the kitchen window.
you quickly stomped your way out of the main house to your tree- his tent. he had just snuffed out his fire and zipped up his tent for the night.
"you're camping out under my tree." you said matter-of-factly, standing outside of his tent and perfectly aware that he can hear you through the thin fabric.
"it ain't yer tree, sunshine." he grumbled from inside the tent.
"it's not your land."
"ya can't make a tree yer property... ain't how that works."
"oh but that is how it works.."
you could hear a mumbled response, but you were already rounding the tent and making your way up the tree before you could make sense of it.
it wasn't long before the smell permeated his tent. he didn't mind the smell of weed, if anything, it enticed him to join you. but god was he exhausted.
perhaps, he wasn't exhausted enough. he relented and opened his tent and turned around, trying to find you through the darkness. like you had night vision, you could see him looking up, almost directly at you.
"plan on joining me? or you just gonna stare at me little while longer?" You called down to him.
"ya gon' share?" he said loud enough for you to hear him, but not enough to wake the others.
"come and find out.." you teased. not only did weed make you generous, but it turned you on too. flirting with the clearly older man was not on your playbook, but then again, neither was the end of the world.
christ almighty this was a new low. definitely sativa.
he made his way up the tree with ease, the smell of weed growing stronger as he made his way closer to you. he sat down across from you. the thick branches of the willow tree would support you both. The fiery glow from the bud briefly illuminated your face as you inhaled
to daryl, you were much prettier than you were earlier. he could see the way your rosy lips had briefly trapped the filtered end of the joint before inhaling, and the warmth in your cheeks under the moonlight. yeah, he was definitely feeling the second-hand high.
wordlessly, you held out the joint to the older man, smiling softly as he took it from your grasp and placed his lips around it.
he took his fair share of hits as you shamelessly admired him. his looks weren't lost on you, and yours most defintely were not lost on him. maybe it was the weed, or the way you tits sat in you shirt, or the way your hair seemed to perfectly frame your face, or even the look in your eye, but he slowly felt himself shuffling over to you, suddenly longing to feel your skin on his.
as he sat closer, the smell of weed seemed to fade away as your aroma his him like a brick. the vanilla in your remaining body wash had been swept up by the wind, imbuing his senses, sending a wave of sparks straight to his cock.
the tension was palpable. he looked into your longing eyes. he knew what you wanted. he wanted it too.
"we can't- yer old man he'd-" he mumbled, ignoring the way your eyes burned his skin, and most defitnely trying to ignore the way his pants strained around him.
"we can," you cut him off in the same quiet fashion, your hand finding his thigh as if it had a mind of its own.
the second you touched him, he could feel himself bending to your will, his mind slowly twisting into mush. he saw the redness in your eyes and knew you were just as gone as he was.
within seconds you planted your lips onto his, molding together instantly. his rough hands found their way to your hips as he maneuvered you on top of him.
you could feel his cock straining in his pants as you instinctively pressed yourself into him. he could feel the heat from your cunt radiating onto him as you mewled from the friction. your teeth caught your lip as you remembered that you couldn't be too loud. he looked up at you, his heart pounding and reverberating through his bones. you began to grind on him as he held you firmly against him, his head tipping back and against the larger trunk of the tree as he kneaded the fat of your hips.
he pressed you harder against him, moving your hips to grind against him as he instinctively bucked his hips into you. his clothed cock rubbed repeated and merciless strokes against your clit. his hands snaked their way up your back and neck, eventually grabbing a fist full of hair from the nape of your neck. he pulled backward, latching his lips to your neck, feeling your heart beat erratically underneath your skin.
"f- fuck..." you mewled into his ear. daryl wanted that sound on repeat 24/7. you felt yourself begin to drip past your panties and soaking your cotton shorts. your hands rested on his hard chest, feeling his body shutter with every stroke of your hips.
daryl could embarrassingly feel his climax approaching as he pressed himself into your heat. the coil that tightened inside brought him some semblance of clarity from his high. He stilled your hips with his hands and pulled you off him.
"what the fu-"
"I ain't gonna cum inside m'pants like some damn teenager... 'f 's gon' be anywhere, its gon' be inside ya." he said quietly, his lips grazing your ear as he whispered, still holding you close.
masterlist
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panlight · 4 months ago
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The first Twilight book ending with so much genuinely intriguing information about Alice that is immediately ignored is so crazy to me that it’s honestly funny.
The other vampires don’t necessarily remember their human lives well compared to their vampire ones but they do clearly have a lot of memories that inform who they are as people. And then we find out that Alice remembers almost nothing about being human and is the only vampire we meet who basically had her entire personality be created from only her vampire life. And the idea of who someone would be if they had only ever been a super powered future seeing non human is interesting, and it would have been especially interesting to see how it makes her act different from the others and perceive the world differently because she wouldn’t in any way identify with humanity or being human and any human experiences.
And then she just is exactly like everyone else and no it didn’t actually affect a single thing about her personality. And the fact that as both a human and vampire she has never experienced time in a linear fashion is way less impactful on her character than one would think beyond that she used future sight as a helpful tool.
Smeyer is so wild for creating genuinely really cool character and world building ideas and then immediately ignoring them and not considering that they would in any way correlate to how that character acts
Oh for sure! There are so many fascinating little character details that just . . . don't . . . go . . . anywhere. Really Alice waking up as a vampire with no memory of anything else is SO interesting and could be such a contrast to the others, but it's only sort of hinted at and doesn't end up really mattering at all. There's Edward's line about how if she hadn't had her ability to see the future and saw Jasper and Carlisle and where her life would end up, she'd probably have turned out to be a feral monster or something and how no one could understand how she could be abandoned like that. SM pays lips service to the idea that Alice doesn't remember being human but she mostly uses that to like, push her into being obsessed with human rites of passage for Bella that she can sort of live vicariously through rather than a deeper, more meaningful exploration of what it would be like to be in Alice's shoes.
Genuinely, I'm fascinated by every single one of the Cullens' stories as newborns except Bella's, because it's just the most boring one. She doesn't give up or lose anything, she doesn't wake up to a world she didn't know existed. She's about as well-informed as a human could be and she wants to be a vampire and is instantly good at it so it's all just so . . . blah. Alice waking up with no memory and superpowers and insatiable thirst is about 1000 times more interesting. Just imagine how disorientating and confusing and frightening that would be! Carlisle lived out his own horror movie as a newborn, being bitten on a vampire hunting raid gone wrong, hiding during his transformation out of fear his father would burn him alive, realizing what he had become and trying to destroy himself before he hurt anyone ending with him starving himself in the woods for months. Jasper, too, had a whole horror movie where he was the nightmarish monster, to humans as well as other vampires. And the other Cullens died and 'woke' up to a new life they had no idea about and had to lean on strangers they either barely knew or didn't know at all. That's the interesting stuff. That's what I like about vampire stories. But these experiences barely matter to how they act in the present day. Jasper's poor self control matters in some scenes and doesn't matter at all in others. Rosalie's baby obsession is a big feature of Breaking Dawn, but Esme, who actually had and lost a baby, might as well be wallpaper in that book. Edward's going on about how could he ever love this thing if it kills Bella, meanwhile Carlisle's mother literally DID die giving birth to him and it never enters the conversation.
And for SM, Alice's whole "doesn't remember being human" ends up being focused entirely on like, shopping and parties and clothes, so she can live vicariously through Bella. And on one hand there's something interesting in there, something pathetic (in the pathos sense) with Alice trying to understand humanity in this sort of superficial way because she doesn't have the experience or memories to go any deeper, but it's mostly portrayed as just wheee isn't Alice fun! I wish I had a sister/best friend like Alice! It's just blatantly obvious that it's less about who Alice is than what she can do for Bella.
Even in New Moon where we find out that Alice has been researching her own history, found her own grave and asylum admission papers, and it goes nowhere! It doesn't change how Alice behaves at all, it doesn't change her relationship with Bella, Bella just kind of goes "huh interesting" and we never hear about it again. I mean Alice goes through it in these books and you wouldn't even know! She finds out that James had hunted her when she was human and this other vampire turned her to save her and died defending her. She finds out she was put in an asylum by her father and he told everyone she was dead. And even though she's the 4th most prominent character after Bella, Edward and Jacob, there's still no room in the Bella-centric narrative for Alice to have the space to actually deal with any of this. She's too busy fulfilling her role as Bella's fairy godmother sister.
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thedarlingdearestdead · 1 year ago
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The Jedi Way:
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A quick oneshot for Anakin Skywalker! Might do a pt2 depending... Ok I did - here it is.
Summary: Anakin questions the war and his place in it, you interrupt him and try to calm him down, it does not work, he just gets wound up...
Warnings: MATURE, almost smut, dub!con kiss, angst, jedi heresy, etc.
Word count: 1,070
Anakin wasn't quite sure how he had ended up here, but he wasn't upset about it. For the first time in a long time, the world had gone quiet, and he relished the feeling. It was far too often these days that the Force became too loud for him to concentrate, for him to function. He knew it was becoming a problem but wasn't sure how to fix it. He also wasn't willing to think about it now, not when he had finally gotten some peace.
Rain was falling outside of the windows at the Jedi Temple where Anakin had returned just days before. He hadn't yet been assigned another mission, and he hadn't yet asked either. His head still buzzed with energy and fire from the days before; he'd been finding it hard to breathe, hard to focus. It was by accident that he arrived at the edge of the gardens, looking out of the large window at the end of the pavilion. He acknowledged that it might have been a habit from his days as a Padawan.
His master was always keen on this room, always brought Anakin here to practice meditating. The humidity was slightly comforting to Anakin in its warmth.
Perhaps he should try meditating. Anakin was usually so restless, but recently, he just felt tired. Tired of the war.
"Anakin?"
Of course, it was you; you always had the ability to find him. Anakin turned with a small smile on his face. "Where did you come from?"
"Master Plo and I just landed; he is doing a debrief with the Council, and, I fear, picking up another mission."
"So you're on a layover?"
"Practically. What are you still doing here? I thought the Hoth offensive ended days ago?"
He looked down at his hand; the blurry memory of blood and ash turned them red and marked in his mind. He cringed slightly and pocketed his hands in his cloak. "Yeah, well, I'm sure I'll be off again soon too."
His shoulders were uncharacteristically slumped. It had been a while since you had seen your childhood friend but surely this change in demeanour was wrought by something… 
“Anakin, what's wrong?” 
In that moment, he made a conscious choice: to tell the truth. Maybe you would understand. If any one could… ”It’s been a long war."
You reached across to him and grabbed his hand, standing beside him much closer and staring out of the window into the storm. Battle fatigue was common, you had seen it in many of your clone forces in the past months. You sighed and attempted to reassure him, to give him some of your spirit and strength, whatever remained you would share with him. 
"I know you're tired—"
"I'm not tired.” His voice was stony, stubborn, frustrated.
"I know the last few trips have been hard—"
"It's not just the last few trips."
"I know."
"Do you? I thought you would but now I wonder. How can you, and I, and everyone else know and let it continue… Why are you asking me questions? It is so obvious what is wrong.” Anakin's voice grew in volume as he continued, "The Jedi Council—"
"Anakin, stop talking."
"No, I have to. I have to speak. How can you not? How can you stand there and look at me like I'm crazy? I'm not crazy. You have to know this has gone too far." He was looking down at you now, almost challenging. He edged toward you, and you shuffled backward through reflex. “Something has to be done, some decisive action taken. There is a reason the war is continuing for so long, it isn’t an accident.”
"Anakin, you scare me sometimes. The things you say…"
Anxiety now flushed through Anakin's system. A horrible icy cold of misunderstanding, because you didn't get it. You were far too caught up in the Council's propaganda, you hadn't experienced the things that he had.
"What about the things I do? All I want is for the council to listen, to think about what I say. They exclude me but have I done anything wrong?" He was expectant, he was insistent. 
"Not yet. But you’re going somewhere dangerous. And there are some lines you should not cross.”
And suddenly, you weren't talking about the war. You were talking about the air between your bodies, the unlit spark, the quiet buzz which surrounded the two of you whenever you were alone.
He searched your eyes for a minute, angry and determined to make you see. Make you realise. And suddenly, he kissed you. His hand immediately came up to grip your face, pull you toward him. His lips were hot and all-consuming in their hunger. It took a moment for your mind to awaken to your reality, and you shoved him away violently.
"What do you think you're doing!?”
His lips were red and swollen, so were yours, you assumed. He didn't seem the slightest bit put out by your rejection.
"I'm doing what I have to do to make you understand. Don't tell me you've never thought of it; I know you have. I've felt it."
You bristled and blushed, ”I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Anakin, please…"
"Say that again." Now he moved back toward you with a dangerous, devilish look in his eye, backing you up against the window as you unsteadily attempted to push him off. One meek hand rested on his chest.
"It isn't the Jedi way…"
You were looking down at your fingers splayed on his chest in fickle protestation. His beautiful muscled chest.
"Let me teach you the Jedi way.”
As Anakin's lips hovered tantalisingly close to yours, a storm of emotions raged within you. Your heart pounded, and you felt a heat rise in your cheeks. The rain outside the window intensified, matching the tumultuous uncertainty inside the pavilion.
You took a deep breath and tried to gather your thoughts. Anakin's persistent advances had caught you off guard, but you couldn't deny the undeniable attraction that had simmered beneath the surface for years. The unspoken tension between you and Anakin, your fellow Jedi, had grown to a breaking point.
His intense gaze bore into your eyes, demanding a response. The connection between you two, an unspoken bond formed through countless missions and shared experiences, had reached a pivotal moment.
He leaned in again and you couldn’t help but to surrender. 
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thisgirlnamedblusy · 2 months ago
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Hello! This is my first time requesting sorry if it’s bad .. but could you write one where reader used to be in a bit of an abusive relationship so when she got with Donna she wasn’t used to the kinda of care and sweet things she would do for her and doesn’t understand why Donna would do anything like that for someone like her. Then one day maybe they are out at the duke or something and reader is talking to an friend and Donna gets jealous and quiet on the way back and reader starts to get very anxious thinking Donna will do something to her like her last relationship. When they get home Donna is acting kinda weird and immediately goes to the basement after a little while of Donna being gone reader goes to confront her about it and then donna goes a little bit crazy and hits her fist on her workbench and then when she comes out of her little episode she’s you crying and feels really REALLY bad about it.
You can end it with smut or fluff I’m good with whatever. So sorry my grammar is buns I suck at writing and I love your story’s to I read them all the time!❤️
Yesss!!! Welcome to the requesting world!!! Thank you for your request and support!!! I'm sorry if it's a bit dark, and I have to say I didn't put smut due to the plot, but I hope you can enjoy it the same way!!! Sorry about the language mistakes!!!!
Demons of past, demons of mind
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Angst, dark themes, mentions of abuse, Donna being Donna, mental health issues, slighty dark Donna, fluff
Word count: 7,930
Summary: You have your demons, she has them too...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
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You never liked masses.
It's not that you had anything against the Black Gods or Mother Miranda, it's just that meeting the whole village, enduring those curious glances and unconsciously looking for signs of any threat weren't your favorite way to spend the time.
Staying alone in that big mansion wasn't the best option either. Besides, you knew that she didn't like the idea of ​​abandoning you. You couldn't be ungrateful. You would always do anything she asked of you.
Miranda's words slipped through your ears as you curled up on one of the first benches. You didn't want to be far from her. Villagers like you were supposed to be scared and respectful of the authorities of that place.
For you, the Four Lords weren’t an imminent danger, or at least they didn't make your chest knot or make you feel dizziness. Yes, you feared them, but that was long before you knew the true dangers of that place.
Knowing all your neighbors could be considered an advantage, it could seem cozy and comfortable, but in your case it wasn't exactly like that. As a young girl, barely 23 years old, you had been through too many hardships and none of them had to do with the influence of the Black Gods, or at least that's what you thought.
Your eyes danced around the crowd as your body slowly shrank. In your head you followed the witch's words, trying to count the time left until you were free again. You weren't scared, but without the lady in black at your side, you didn't feel safe.
“May the Black Gods protect us,” Miranda said, ending that sermon.
Everyone in the church repeated those words of liberation, forming a murmur that accompanied the movement. You had to assume that, of course, everyone present had better things to do than listen to Miranda's words since they wasted no time in getting up.
Before you could really be aware of everyone who had come to the old chapel, you stood up, getting closer to the altar, where the Four Lords patiently watched the walk of their flock.
A smile of relief ran across your face as you stood next to her, next to the veiled lady, with your eyes expectant, wanting to go home. Her head turned to you, silently, but surely with a smile under the black cloth.
Lady and doll stood up from their seat, walking slowly towards you.
“Wait a moment, Donna,” Miranda said when the doll maker had already let your arm hook into hers.  “I have something to tell you.”
You, disappointed, looked at her invisible face as she lowered her hand to yours.
“Your cupcake can wait outside, right?” the witch said, looking at you, making you feel those grey eyes on your chest, those eyes always covered by a golden mask.
“Wait for me, (Y/N), I'll be right there,” the lady whispered in your ear, letting your hand go and indicating with a gesture for you to go out.
You didn't insist. Being with Donna was always your priority, but to be honest, you weren't too interested in Miranda's affairs, you were much happier not knowing what she was up to that time.
You sighed as you nodded, slowly walking out of the chapel, away from the crowd. It would only be a moment and there was nothing to worry about, right?
In an attempt to distract yourself, you looked up at the sky. The clouds, as always, were as black as the Gods, as black as your past, dark, impenetrable, constant...
You sketched a smile as you waited, as you watched people slowly walk away, without paying attention to you, just as you liked to live. Questions and rumors were never to your liking.
“(Y/N),” a voice you recognized instantly, took you out of those thoughts of relief.
You hoped to have given up your torments, but that day had an unpleasant surprise in store for you.
Automatically, your head lowered to the snowy ground, showing an absurd respect that your body maintained even with the new circumstances.
“Becca,” you whispered without looking at that girl in the face.
“I see that you continue to get lost in your thoughts,” the girl sighed, approaching you with a smug smile. “Pathetic.”
“C-Can you leave me alone?” you asked in a small voice, feeling the girl's steps in the snow as a countdown to suffering. “I don't want to talk to you.”
“Of course, you don't want to talk to me, you never wanted to, right?” the girl said, crossing her arms. “I always had to force the words out of your mouth, how rude.”
“I-I have nothing to say to you, Becca,” you whispered, noticing how sweat began to accumulate on your hands.
“Oh, me neither,” she said mockingly, tilting her head. “I'm glad I don't have to put up with you anymore.”
“W-Well, then... what do you want?” you asked, your whole body stiff and tense. “You left me.”
“If I remember correctly, you provoked it, (Y/N),” Becca insisted, spitting out her words in an unpleasant way. “You never knew how to treat me properly.”
“Was it my fault?” you asked, backing away, drawing out some courage, the little you had left. “You made my life a hell.”
“Because of you, (Y/N), I see you still haven't learned to be assertive,” the girl murmured, shaking her head. “Luckily for you, you don't owe me anything anymore. My new girlfriend is better than you.”
“Do you hit her too?” you asked, with your tense gaze fixed on the ground.
“She behaves much better than you,” your ex hissed, blinking petulantly.
“I feel sorry for her,” you whispered, turning your head to the chapel door, wishing she would appear to save you.
“What did you say?” Becca asked, grabbing your arm tightly, causing the painful memories of your relationship to immobilize you. “You're still stupid. You may not be mine anymore, but I can still…”
“Hey!” a scream caught your attention.
Just when you thought you were about to receive another undeserved punishment, the girl let you go, surely, seeing the lady in black behind you holding the Angie doll, owner of that shrill voice.
“Donna,” you sighed, breaking free from Becca's grip and cowardly running to take refuge behind the lady.
“Who are you, stupid?!” Angie asked, with a demanding tone. It was impossible for you to tell if Angie was speaking, or Donna was the one demanding answers but you didn't really care who it was.
“Lady Beneviento, I...” your ex-girlfriend murmured, moving away from you. “N-Nobody, I'm nobody.”
“You're nobody? Fine, then get out of our sight,” Angie said, gesturing towards the road.
The girl shook her head as you tightly grabbed the arm of the woman in black, who remained motionless, threatening.
“I'm sorry, my lady,” Becca said, quickly fleeing the scene, causing the puppet to laugh triumphantly.
“If you come near her again, I won't be so kind, stupid!” Angie shouted while laughing amused. “Look how she runs, Donna, you scared her.”
“Mm,” the lady murmured discreetly, turning to look at you. “(Y/N), lasciami.”
“I'm sorry,” you said nervously, realizing that you were holding your girlfriend with excessive strength, due to fear. “T-Thank you…”
“Thank you? Why? Who was it?” the doll maker asked, grabbing you gently and starting to walk, finally returning to the mansion.
“Nobody,” you murmured, finally finding the comfort of her body very close to yours as the village grew ever further away.
“You're lying to me,” the lady said, walking slower, looking at you, surely, with a frown.
“No, I...” you stammered. “It's just that...”
You didn't want to lie to Donna, but you never dared to talk about your past with her. Not out of fear, but rather so as not to remind the hell you lived through.
“Who was she, silly? It seems you knew each other,” Angie said, insisting, just like her owner.
“Yes, well, the truth is that she is... my ex,” you finally said, lowering your head without releasing the lady, who turned slowly, but didn’t stop walking.
“Your ex,” Donna repeated with a sigh, looking at you out of the corner of her eye through the gaps in her veil.
“She wasn't nice to me,” you said with a weak voice due to your horrible memories, with the pain of her slaps still impregnated in your cheeks. “I know I hadn't told you much about her, but I just didn't want to remember and…”
“So she was the reason you were crying when I met you,” the lady said, with a voice apparently devoid of emotions.
“Yes,” you said dryly, getting closer to the lady, who, apparently, understood your concern, surrounding you with her arms as if she wanted to protect you. “I didn't expect to find her again.”
“Do you want me to kill her?” she asked, making a shiver run down your spine.
“What?” you asked scared. “N-No, of course I don’t,” you said, shaking your head effusively, moving away from her. “No, Donna.”
“Hey, if that stupid girl hurt you, why don't you let Donna punish her? She'll do it gladly, right?” Angie said, with a sinister voice.
You regretted thinking, for a second, your answer.
“No, um…” you said, blinking a little nervously. “I don't want you to hurt anyone.”
“Mm, as you wish,” Donna commented, impassive at the idea of ​​finishing off that girl, something you still hadn't quite gotten used to.
Donna was a Lord. After all, the lives of the village were at her will.
“The past is the past,” you murmured after a tense moment of silence. “I like the present much more,” you said as you sighed in relief, leaning back against the lady, who nodded elegantly.
“A very wise phrase,” she said, kissing you through her veil. “You know I would do anything for you, tesoro.”
“I know,” you said with a tender smile, not having the capacity to thank her enough for that protection, that promise of not letting anything, or anyone, hurt you ever, ever again. “It will be better if we forget it, okay, darling?”
“Va bene, your wishes are my commands,” she said, interlacing her fingers with yours. “Let's go home, it's cold today.”
“Yes,” you said, thanking the affectionate gesture, her sinister closeness that was so different from what you had experienced before.
Yes, Donna was dangerous, sometimes even terrifying, but she loved you. She really loved you.
During that quiet walk, you began to remember. You had said that the past was better off far from you, but you were only fooling yourself. That previous relationship was still very present in your memories.
You were never a normal girl, you were a bit withdrawn. It's not that you hated people or anything like that, you just didn't fit in. The villagers never isolated you or considered you a freak, and maybe that was your downfall. After years of voluntary solitude, you met a girl, a girl you fell in love with almost instantly, Becca.
It was your first relationship, an explosion of new emotions that at first made you seem like the happiest girl in that sinister place. Time passed and everything seemed perfect. But you had read too many stories not to start seeing similarities with the behavior of that girl who claimed to love you.
Like in that children's story, Becca began to neglect her lamb costume, revealing the dark fur of a fierce and hungry wolf. At first, they were just absurd arguments, ones in which you always seemed to be at fault.
You remembered the sleepless nights, wondering if you had really done something wrong to disappoint the girl you loved, if you were guilty, if you hurt her without realizing it. Acknowledging a guilt that you didn't fully understand became a habit, it became an easy way to stop the wolf from roaring.
But time didn't improve the situation, quite the opposite. That submission increased to the point you no longer asked yourself what you had done to deserve a scolding, accepting the reality of her words, bowing your head and asking for forgiveness.
Being so young, your character was deformed, turning you into something like a slave to her thoughts, her desires, a rag doll to be ordered around and tortured whenever she wanted.
Your friends began to be a problem for Becca. She herself urged you to abandon those innocent walks with the village girls, to put aside the only people who had always understood you. Of course, this unhinged behavior didn’t go unnoticed by your best friend, since she was the one who tried to open your eyes.
It didn't matter that you began to believe she was right, since, because of Becca, you stopped hanging out with her. Controlling you was her greatest hobby, torturing you was her only way to spend the time.
Submissive and obedient, you pleased that disguised wolf as much as you could, although as the months went by, you stopped receiving anything in return.
The screams, the senseless threats became routine. Every time you weren't with Becca, she acted, she marked your skin with slaps and warnings, making you believe that you were to blame for the blows you received. Your vision of reality didn’t change, even though your life was hell.
One day, Becca left you, she abandoned you. You remember the screams, the cries, the pleas. At that moment you were unable to see the level of pathos you were in, begging your tormentor for a second chance.
The pain, the suffering of having lost her was too great, you spent weeks crying inconsolably. Your parents were busy weaving and making fabrics, and your personal problems were of no importance when it came to helping them. Becca was a lovely girl in their opinion.
She was always a wolf in sheep's clothing, capable of deceiving even the shepherds, even the people who were supposed to take care of you.
You were crying as you walked, as you breathed, you were almost unaware of where you were going. It was not an ordinary commission. Those fabrics weren’t for Luiza or the Lupu family, no…
The landscape was changing and deep down you felt that you should be afraid, but you weren’t. The pain and the tears were much stronger than the fear of your destination, the Beneviento House.
The rumors about the lady in black didn’t sound in your head, you could only hear Becca's screams and insults. So much so, that you arrived at the house at the waterfall without being aware of the danger you were in.
The sobs accompanied the first encounter you had with the veiled lady, and, somehow, they aroused her curiosity. Chance was never your best ally, but, it seems that at that moment, it decided to grant you a favor.
“Those beautiful eyes don’t have to cry…”
You remember that whisper, that hoarse voice speaking through the veil, that voice unknown to the village, those hands that wiped away your tears. You always knew what she was, that she was a dangerous woman, that she was sick, that she was dark and soulless. Well, at least that's what it seemed to you.
Donna Beneviento, fourth Lord, seemed to take pity on your soul, something no one did, something no one had bothered to relieve. Your body, torn apart by tireless crying, yielded to the offer of tea, of telling her the reason for your tears.
So you did, or at least, you made it clear to her that a breakup was the cause of your problems. She didn't seem to give any importance to that, but she did to something, which, according to the lady, was terribly unusual: you didn't tremble in her presence, you weren't afraid.
That involuntary behavior granted you a second chance, granted you the love of someone you shouldn't love, who was cold as ice and dangerously disturbed. It didn't take you long to realize you were wrong.
Donna was quiet, but kind, attentive. The Angie doll was funny and eloquent, thus forming the counterpart the Lord was missing. Love arose from the ashes of your soul, which revived like a phoenix, hoping the fire would burn your past as well.
She was… beautiful, simply beautiful. Her complexes about her appearance were stupidity to you. Her deformed face was beauty itself, and you let her know that.
Laughter, whispers, kisses, caresses… Thus began a very different relationship, one in which you felt good, too good. Sometimes, just sometimes, you didn't feel worthy of so much affection, you didn't feel you deserved Donna, to calm her desire to love someone as pathetic as you.
After a few wonderful months with the lady in black, you finally realized. The sheep costume Becca was wearing became invisible. All those mistakes you thought you had made became injustices, all the slaps you thought were fair became abuse, mistreatment.
You regretted having cried for Becca, but, luckily, you would never have to face her again. To think that, perhaps after that unfortunate encounter, Donna protected you, was much more than you thought you deserved, even if her way of protecting… was kind of abrupt or sinister.
“Are you okay?” the lady asked closing the door of the mansion and removing her veil, a gesture you adored.
You nodded uncertainly, letting the lady's intense gaze stare into your eyes and her hands cup your face. It wasn’t easy to deceive her, you should know that.
“Your words tell me one thing, but your gaze tells me another, tesoro,” she said, with a tender voice, while her caresses comforted your nerves. “Please, tell me what's wrong.”
“It's nothing, Donna,” you said, lowering your head, joining one of your hands with hers. “It's just that meeting h-her… made me nervous.”
“I see,” the lady whispered, bringing her lips closer to yours, kissing you slowly. “She hurt you bad, vero?”
“Yes… but, but I prefer to forget about it,” you said with a fake smile, in case the desire to get revenge came back to her mind.
“It seems that it's hard for you,” Donna commented, with a slightly colder look. “Do you have doubts?”
“No!” you squealed nervously, shaking your head and making exaggerated gestures with your hands. “No, Donna, don't say that. I love you, and only you. Sometimes the past just hurts, that's all.”
The lady stared at you for a moment, but sighed in relief, coming closer and stealing another soft kiss from you, giving you a tender smile.
“Well, now you're with me, I'll protect you from pain, amore mio,” she whispered lovingly, wiping away a tear that was starting to run down your cheek. “Come, I'm going to prepare something for you to relax.”
“Thank you, darling,” you said with a sincere smile, expressing the love, the gratitude you had for the lady in black, the extreme fidelity you would always have for her.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Angie interrupted, separating you comically. “Less cuddles, that doesn't make anyone happy. (Y/N), silly, all you have to do to be happy is play with me.”
You both kissed again, looking at the doll so she would growl angrily. Afterwards, the lady in black came down to prepare one of her relaxing teas and you had no choice but to spend some fun time with the doll.
You were grateful for all her love, her understanding, her sweetness, but your demons kept whispering to you, telling you that it wasn't fair, that you didn't deserve that special treatment, that love, those kisses, those caresses...
Luckily you managed to forget about your problems. Donna was lovely, she would always do everything possible to remove the sorrows from your soul, but with Angie... with Angie forgetting was much easier, since diverting attention could bring unpleasant consequences, like a scream in your ear, or, in the worst case, a bite.
The rest of the day passed like any other: glances, smiles, kisses, moments of quiet reading on her lap… Did you really deserve all that? You didn't think it possible.
“What are you doing?” you asked affectionately, when Donna moved to her desk, studying some papers.
“Mm, I'm going over my research,” the lady commented, concentrating on those essays written in elegant handwriting, with words that, unfortunately, you didn't understand. “There are too many mountain plants.”
“Oh, plants, of course,” you said amused, leaning down to kiss her cheek and earning one of her irresistible shy laughs. “Is it Mother Miranda's thing?”
“No, I've always found the power I have over these kinds of plants interesting, I want to know everything,” she explained, making you shrug with an amused laugh. “Look at this, it seems like a good essay to me.”
“Okay…” you sighed, taking the paper and frowning amused. “Um, Donna, I'm sorry but… I don't understand,” you said scratching your neck.
“Oh, certo,” she said, shaking her head and gesturing for you to sit on her lap. “It's part of my research with the new variety that appeared at the gardener's house.”
“Wow, so you don't only make dolls…” you said, stealing a quick kiss from her.
“To be honest, I prefer dolls,” Donna commented, leaving the papers in order, sighing tiredly. “Although I haven't worked on them lately,” she said in a different tone, frowning.
“I-I think that's my fault,” you said with a weak voice, knowing that you were the biggest distraction.
You couldn't be a nuisance or disappoint her in any way. Any mistake on your part was a cause for absolute sadness.
“Mm?” she murmured distractedly, not paying much attention to your self-accusations. “Perché?”
“Well... I'm always distracting you,” you said in a serious tone, with sincere apology. “You should pay less attention to me and more to your dolls.”
Donna turned her head with a confused look, but smiled, kissing you in a slightly wilder, deeper way, making you almost lose your balance.
“I like dolls more than plants,” she whispered in your ear, in a terribly sensual way. “But I like you more than dolls.”
You blushed, shaking your head as you comically ran away from her excessive affection, one that, you thought you didn’t deserve.
“You always say those things,” you murmured with a purr, playing with your finger on her chest, controlling your breathing. “You make me blush.”
“If I didn't, I would be doing something wrong,” she commented amused, brushing your hair away from your face, enjoying the touch of your skin.
“Oh, so I... am I doing something wrong?” you asked worried, making her move confused. “I-I can change, really.”
“What are you talking about, tesoro?” the lady questioned, studying your nervous gestures. “Why do you say that?”
“Oh, I...” you whispered embarrassed, looking away.
No matter how much time passed, your fears were still very present in your mind.
“Hey, (Y/N), you're shaking,” Donna whispered, taking your cold and shaking hands, looking at you scared. “Tesoro…”
“It's okay, Donna,” you said with a fake smile, removing your hands and looking for something to divert the lady's rational curiosity with. “What’s this?” you asked, reaching out to grab what looked like an old fashion magazine.
“Um, I think a catalog,” Donna said, being distracted by your clumsy actions and taking a look with you. “It's amazing, (Y/N), sometimes I don't even know what's in this house…” she sighed amused.
“They look like dresses,” you said, commenting on the images you both saw. “I didn't know you liked fashion.”
“N-No,” Donna said, gently shaking her head. “Not much…” she whispered, turning the catalogue over. “My mother used to enjoy sewing patterns. I suspect this magazine was hers.”
“Did your mother know how to sew?” you asked curiously, finally diverting your shaking hands from her head. “I guess like mother, like daughter, huh?”
“Mm, yes, you might be right,” the brunette said, glancing at you briefly as she turned the pages. “She was very good at making dresses, a-although she didn’t h-have much time to do so.”
“Look at this one,” you said quickly, masterfully keeping poor Donna from losing her mind, like every time she mentioned her past. Seeing her out of it was something you couldn’t stand, and you couldn’t control either. “It’s beautiful.”
“This one?” she said, distracted again, settling you on her lap. “Do you like this dress?”
“Yes, it’s simple, but elegant, I’d like to have one to wear it for you. Would you like that?”
 Donna smiled with a shy blush on her skin, looking away as she nodded.
“I would like you to do it... to make yourself pretty for me...”
Luckily, there were no problems that day, or that night. Everything had gone well and, as always when you went to sleep, you reviewed all your dialogues and actions with the lady in black, looking for some mistake, something that could make her angry. As for a long time, as always since you were with her, you found none.
Getting used to that kind, loving and selfless treatment was something that would take a lot of time, and effort, to accept. Becca's influence was still too great in your mind and the only thing you wanted, the only thing you would do anyway, was to forget about it.
The next day, everything seemed normal, although somehow, you noticed a certain nervousness in the lady in black, as well as an unusual urgency to return to the village to pay a visit to the Duke.
You knew she was up to something, and even though Donna was reluctant to let you accompany her, it was difficult for her to refuse your request.
Your demons were right, you didn't deserve her.
"I love walking with you," you whispered as you hung on her arm, walking slowly towards the village, feeling the warmth of her body, her protective presence next to you.
She laughed affectionately, kissing you through the black fabric. Of course you preferred her bare lips, but those discreet kisses outside the mansion, even in front of curious villagers, climbed the ranks.
“Wait for me here, tesoro,” she said when you reached the carriage while you politely greeted the merchant, who did the same with a greedy smile.
You rolled your eyes, pretending to think about whether to accept her order or not, but finally nodding, walking away from her, holding her hand until she let it go by inertia. It was becoming more and more evident that the lady had something up her sleeve, and you dedicated that moment of solitude to imagine what it was.
“(Y/N)?” a girl who passed in front of you, and whom you recognized instantly, stopped, looking at you with a smile.
“Ivana,” you said blinking several times, seeing, for a long time, your best friend in front of you. “Is that you?”
“It seems so, I could ask you the same thing,” the amused girl said, coming closer to melt into a loving hug with you. “(Y/N), I'm so glad to see you, it's been a while since... well, I haven't seen you around here.”
“I was at mass just yesterday,” you said, feeling comfort in the arms of your old friend, but separating shortly after. “Didn't you see me?”
“Um, no,” she said, frowning. “I guess we can't see much from our secluded spot,” she explained, something that made you nod.
“It's true, I was in the front row,” you said, scratching the back of your neck.
“How brave,” she joked, giving you a nudge. “Although, judging by what I've heard, I'm not surprised.”
“What are you talking about?” you said curiously, to which the girl turned her gaze to the Duke and the lady.
“I don't know what to say, (Y/N), there are rumors. They say you have something with Donna Beneviento,” she whispered in a low voice, pushing your back to get you a little away from them.
“The rumors aren't wrong,” you said blushing, glancing sideways at the lady, who seemed to be studying some fabrics. “I've been living with her for almost a year.”
“And you're alive? I mean, I don't think that...” your friend whispered, with a cautious tone.
“Of course I'm alive. Listen, Ivana, Donna isn't like people think,” you said, clearing the black shadows that surrounded the lady.
“(Y/N), they say she's a dangerous crazy woman,” she murmured, looking away from you.
“Donna's not crazy, she's sick,” you said annoyed, frowning. “B-Besides, that doesn't matter because she really loves me, she treats me well and she's not comparable to... you know...”
“Well, that remains to be seen,” Ivana said, with a distrustful tone. “Hey, I'm really glad you ended things with Becca, really, but I don’t know if you've chosen the right replacement.”
“She's the right one,” you hissed, clenching your fists, nervous about her lack of trust in the love of your life. “Donna is good, loving, kind and treats me well. Everyone says she's a monster, but they're wrong. Becca was a monster.”
“Oh, well... you're right about that, I mean, at least I know what Becca was like and her... well, I don't know her,” your friend said, without taking her eyes off the lady. “I-If you think you're okay with Lady Beneviento, I guess I have to support you.”
“Thank you,” you sighed, grabbing your friend's hands caressing them in a friendly way, with a warm smile. “Your support is very important to me. Maybe we should meet someday, and we can talk about it better.”
“I wanted to hear that for over two years,” Ivana said, changing her gaze to an amused one. “Maybe you're right, there's only one way to know... you, me, beer, Luiza's house…”
“Sounds nostalgically fantastic,” you joked, making both of you laugh in amusement, without letting your hands go.
Ivana's laughter faded in an instant, looking at something behind you, over your shoulder.
You shouldn't be surprised, since, behind you, was the lady in black, with the same calm, but threatening posture.
“Donna,” you said, approaching the lady and grabbing her arm, forcing her to take a couple of steps forward. “Look, this is Ivana, she's my best friend.”
“Hi, Ivana!” Angie squealed, waving effusively and getting out of her owner's arms. “What's up?”
“He-Hello,” the young woman stammered, greeting the doll back cautiously.
“It's been a long time since we last saw each other and…” you commented, but after doing so, the lady pulled away from your grip in an unpleasant way, indicating to the doll to get back up.
“Hey, silly Donna, I was chatting!” Angie protested, rudely silenced by the lady.
“Um… I'm sorry, Ivana, she doesn't talk,” you said embarrassed, moving towards the lady, who walked away without waiting for you. “We’re in touch, okay?”
Your friend nodded as you ran to the lady's side, with a cheerful smile, happy to have met Ivana.
“Hey, Donna, honey, wait,” you said running after her with an exaggerated gasp.
The lady turned to look at you, but it was for a very brief moment, as she continued walking, completely silent.
“W-Well… and… how was it with the Duke? Did you get what you wanted?” you asked as the tension began to fall on your shoulders slowly.
There was no answer, something that made you nervous. You were already in her territory, normally Donna would have said something, anything, but not that day.
“Donna, is something wrong?” you asked worried, taking her hand, catching her off guard.
The lady in black growled unpleasantly, breaking away from your grip again, walking faster.
“Donna, honey, what's wrong?” you asked nervous, more and more nervous.
She walked quickly, with Angie tugging at her dress, trying to get her attention for something. Donna didn't pay attention to her, and neither to your calls.
“Donna, wait,” you said agitated by the fast pace, with your heart beating so hard in your chest, that at any moment it would burst out of it.
Anxiety had already formed in your body when you entered the mansion. You knew something was wrong, you were sure, but you didn't know how to face it.
“Donna…” you whispered, moving closer to her as she removed her veil.
Her gaze was colder than an iceberg, and she looked away too quickly for you to interpret it.
“Donna, darling,” you said hastily, grabbing her by the shoulder before she walked away again. “W-Wait…”
“Lasciami,” she hissed in a dangerous whisper, moving abruptly so your hand would leave her body. “Non toccarmi.”
“What? Donna, please, what…”
Before you could finish your question, the lady growled again, quickly walking away towards the elevator hallway, descending to the basement without another word.
Confused, nervous, with your whole body shaking due to bad memories, from what that behavior evoked in your mind, you looked everywhere, searching for an answer.
“Uh-Oh…” Angie murmured, returning from the hallway.
The situation was strange; Donna had left her doll upstairs.
“A-Angie, what's wrong? What's wrong with her?” you asked, nervously playing with your hands. “Why is she acting like that?”
“I don't know,” the doll said, scratching her head comically. “She seems angry.”
“Angry?” you asked, approaching the puppet, who nodded slightly. “Is it that…? Did something happen with the Duke?”
“No,” Angie said, thoughtfully. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“T-Then…” you murmured, controlling your tremors, coming to a terrible conclusion. “It's because of something I've done… right?”
“What? You? What did you do?” the doll asked, dropping onto a couch.
You followed her, thinking that at any moment you were going to explode with anxiety.
“A-Angie… Was it my fault? I just… Oh, Gods, isn't it because I…? Did she get upset about Ivana?” you asked out loud, not finding any other reason that could explain her attitude.
The doll shrugged, making the tension almost unbearable.
“You and Donna don't share a mind?” you asked curiously, glancing at the elevator hallway.
“We do,” the doll said, in a passive tone. “But before you ask, no, I can't know what she's thinking. She learned a long time ago… how to put it, not to let me get involved in her business.”
“W-well, then I guess I have to talk to her. If I've done something wrong…” you said, getting up from the couch with a nervous gasp.
“No!” the doll screamed, standing in front of you with her arms outstretched. “No, silly!”
“Why not? I have to know what I did wrong,” you said, dodging the doll and walking back to the elevator.
“No, silly, don't go now!” Angie shrieked again, running to your side with her hands on your legs. “Wait a bit and she'll just get over it…”
“I…” you said confused. “Fine,” you whispered, glancing at the hallway and walking away, to which Angie sighed in relief.
Listening to Donna's inseparable companion was always the best option, but that time, that damn time, minutes passed and nothing changed. The brunette showed no signs of life, she was downstairs.
“I'm going down,” you said, throwing away the cards you were playing with Angie and getting up from the floor.
“Hey, hey, hey, am I talking to the walls? Leave Donna alone, you idiot,” Angie said, following you again.
“It's been more than an hour, no... I can't just leave it be,” you said, shaking your head and opening the elevator gate.
“Wait for me!” the doll shrieked, sneaking past you as you pressed the button. “Silly, it's not a good idea... come up, please.”
“No, Angie, if she's in trouble, I have to do something,” you insisted already in the basement, walking quickly to the workshop.
“You'll be in trouble if you disturb Donna now, stupid, listen to Angie, Angie wants to help you,” the doll said, pulling your dress.
You ignored her, opening the doors of the workshop.
The lady in black was sitting at her work table, staring into space, not moving. She didn't even turn her head when she heard you enter.
“Donna, Donna,” Angie said, pulling at her clothes. “Hey, Donna, don’t...”
“Taci,” the lady hissed in a hoarse, dangerous tone, making the puppet run back to your side.
“(Y/N), go away...” the puppet whispered, pushing you towards the exit.
Once again you ignored her advice, approaching the woman in black with a slow step, almost clumsy because of your nerves.
“D-Donna, my love…” you whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder, a hand she pulled away with a sharp movement. “Honey, please…”
The lady didn't even look at you. She kept her eyes fixed on a seemingly unimportant place in front of her.
“Listen to me, I… I don't know what I could have done to offend you, but I beg you to forgive me, or at least tell me what…” you murmured with your voice broken by her indifference.
A loud bang made you step back, frightened. The lady in black hit the table with excessive force, causing several objects to fall to the floor.
“You want me to tell you what you've done…” Donna hissed, slowly getting up, her knuckles white from the strength with which she clenched her fists. “What have you done!? You dare ask me what you've done!?” she shrieked, making you retreat even further, being chased by her.
“Donna…” You sighed somewhat scared, burned by the fire that emanated from her furious, unhinged gaze. “I don't know what you're talking about, I…”
“You don't know anything, do you? You never know anything,” she growled, with a nervous tic that revealed her crisis. “You're always the submissive and poor (Y/N). How good and quiet you are, tesoro… Is that how you do things? Do you deceive people with that pathetic attitude and then stab them in the back?”
“Please, no…” you murmured in a weak voice, crashing into a wall, cornered in front of Donna, who kept stabbing you with her gaze.
The memories, your demons, your feelings… Everything dangerously resembled moments from your past, terrible moments.
“Please, no,” the brunette mocked, tilting her head with an unpleasant grimace. “Porca puttana!” she shrieked, hitting the wall with her fist, right next to your head.
You closed your eyes, breathing heavily and shaking your head. Tears traveled freely down your cheeks.
“Do you think you can do this to me, (Y/N)?” she hissed, not noticing your fear, your crying or your nervousness, with a threatening, delirious voice. “I turn around for a second, (Y/N), one fucking second! And what do I find? My girl flirting with a whore…” she said almost in your ear, with a look of hate that pierced your chest.
“No, it's not what you think,” you said with your voice distorted by tears, closing your eyes to receive her punishment, the punishment you always deserved. “She's…”
“You bitch!” Donna shrieked, hurting your heart and ears. “You're mine! Do you hear me? Mia!” she shouted closer and closer, with furious breathing. “Who do you think you are to cheat on me?”
“I haven't cheated on you,” you sobbed, covering your face instinctively.
“Liar! Bitch!” the lady shouted again, grabbing you tightly by the collar of your dress, shaking you roughly. “You're a slut! You don't even deserve me to fuck you out of spite!”
“Shit, shit,” Angie muttered, walking nervously through the workshop. “Donna, stop!”
“I should have listened to them, (Y/N). They were telling me the truth,” Donna said with a nervous laugh, loosening her grip. “They knew what you were, that you would cheat on me! I was fool enough to want to surprise you and make you a fucking dress… Vaffanculo!”
“No, no!” you screamed desperately, with your legs shaking, threatening to fail. “No, Donna, I love you!”
“You don't love me!” the lady shrieked, shaking her head, trembling too, completely out of her mind. “They know it, they tell me so...” she murmured confusedly, blinking erratically, alternating angry growls with delirious laughter. “Yes, they are right...”
“I'm sorry!” you screamed, letting your legs give out, falling hopelessly to your knees at her mercy, bowing your head. “Donna, forgive me! I have failed you, forgive me!”
“Oh, you admit it, how bold,” she growled, looking at you with contempt.
“I haven’t done anything! But, but if I have, I apologize... Donna, forgive me, please, I will do anything for you to forgive me!” you sobbed in desperation, clinging to her legs, dragging yourself pathetically, as you used to do with Becca.
“Ugh, lasciami, troia,” she hissed, pushing you to the floor, looking at you with a disgust that could make you faint. “Don't touch me, do you hear me?”
“Please, Donna! Forgive me! I beg you!” you shrieked, crawling to grab her ankle, something she prevented with a soft movement. “I'm sorry! I'll do anything to remedy my mistake! Anything!”
Donna shook her head, trembling, putting a hand on her forehead, as if her head hurt.
“Ok, that's enough, silly Donna,” Angie said, standing in front of you, as if she wanted to protect you. “Calm down, Donna, come on…”
“N-No… they… they talk to me, they whisper to me…” she said nervously, covering her ears while she moved nervously, as if she didn't want to hear invisible voices. “They…”
“They aren’t here, Donna, I’m here, look at me, look at me, come on, it’s Angie, your Angie…” the doll said, trying to calm her demons.
“Angie… tell them to shut up… make them stop!” the lady screamed, twisting on herself while you cried against the wall, with your knees on your chest.
“We’ll do it together, come on,” the doll said, moving her arms to distract the lady. “Recite, recite, Donna; it’s your favorite… Sempre caro mi fu quest’ermo colle… Come on, come on, you know it!”
“E q-questa s-siepe, che da tanta parte…” Donna muttered, pronouncing with difficulty.
“That’s it! Go on, go on, they’ll shut up,” Angie encouraged, glancing at your pathetic figure. “Dell…”
“Dell’ultimo orizzonte il guardo esclude,” she whispered, breathing, miraculously, calmer. “T-They've stopped…”
“Of course, good job, Donna,” Angie said excitedly, jumping up and down on the floor.
The lady made a gesture of pain, panting nervously and blinking, as if she didn't even know where she was.
“What…?” she asked disoriented, looking at you and frowning. “(Y/N)?”
“Look what you've done, Donna, you fool!” Angie shouted, running to your side. “Hey, hey, it's all over now, (Y/N)”
“I'm sorry… I'm sorry, I'm sorry…” you repeated over and over again, unable to look the lady in the face, covering yours with your hands as your tears soaked your clothes. “Forgive me, Donna…”
“(Y/N), I…” she murmured, bending down, still breathing heavily. “Amore mio…”
“Don't, please!” you squealed nervously, backing away when Donna reached out a hand towards you, twisting you around to defend yourself from a possible punishment. “Don't hit me anymore…”
“Don't hit you?” Donna asked, shaking her head and struggling with your hands. “(Y/N), please…”
“You're stupid, Donna! You've lost your mind again!” Angie snapped, pointing at her in an unpleasant way. “You scared her!”
“I don't… Gods… no…” the doll maker stammered unable to calm you down. “(Y/N), no… I don't…”
“I promise I won't see her again, I promise,” you sobbed, letting her take your hands away from your face. “I know… you don't have to punish me, I'll do it myself…” you said nervously, looking for a solution to the problem, one you always had with Becca.
Nervous, ignoring the lady's grip, you got up, looking for something in the workshop, something that would make you pay the penance for having made her angry.
“What are you doing? Hey, no, don't do...” she said, approaching nervously when she saw you with scissors in your hand.
“I'll cut my hair, okay? I won't be pretty for anyone this way,” you said with a pleading laugh, grabbing a lock of hair, ready to pay for your mistakes.
“What?! Have you gone crazy?” Donna asked, running to snatch the scissors from you. “(Y/N), please stop... doing that...”
“It's the least I can do to make it up to you...” you sobbed, struggling with her, without success, she was always stronger than you. “It's what she would want...”
“She? What...? Gods, (Y/N)...” the lady sighed, leaving the scissors and grabbing you by the shoulders. “You're talking about your ex, right? Did she do this to you?”
“I deserved it,” you said with a broken voice, with a sore throat. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry…”
“Basta, basta, per favore…” Donna pleaded, breathing nervously again. “I didn't want you to… Gods, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… I've lost my mind and I don't… cazzo… what have I done?” she lamented, putting her hands on her head.
“Screw things up as always, although I must admit that it is her fault for insisting,” Angie said, looking at her hands.
“Oh, cazzo…” Donna hissed, struggling with you to be able to hug you. “Amore mio, please, forgive me, I beg you… it wasn't me… I just… Gods… I'm not okay and… Oh, tesoro, please, I beg you… look at me…”
You obeyed, looking into her eye, at the extinguished, disappeared sparkle of rage.
“I just got jealous and… I lost control…” the lady explained, wiping away your tears while you were unable to utter a single word. “I never wanted to hurt you. I would never hurt you… I'm not like… her…”
“What a way to show it,” Angie said ironically, making you wake up from that nightmare.
“Aren't you going to hit me?” you asked, calming your crying, your fear.
“I would never do such a thing… you have to believe me,” Donna whispered, dragging your body towards hers, falling to the floor, cradling you, feeling her tears on your skin as well. “I'm so sorry, (Y/N), you should never have seen me like this… I'm sorry…”
“Donna…” you sobbed, letting her arms hug you, arms that you no longer feared, but that scared you, too much. “Donna…”
“Listen to me, I didn't mean to tell you those things… it wasn't me… if anyone deserves a slap, it's me,” she whispered as she cradled you, repentant, terribly hurt by her madness. “Come on, hit me.”
“What?” you said, looking up and shaking your head.  “No…”
“Do it, I deserve it,” Donna insisted.
Before you could refuse for the second time, a dull noise echoed in the workshop. Angie had taken that request as her own and had crossed the brunette's face, leaving her speechless.
“Ouch! Angie!” the lady shrieked, with a hand on her wounded cheek.
“She would never do it,” the doll said, amused, managing, after a while of suffering, to get a smile out of you. “(Y/N), are you okay?”
“Y-Yes, I think so,” you murmured, letting her affection pass through your skin, her apologies being heard by your ears. Becca never apologized.
“I told you that you shouldn't come down,” Angie said, while the lady lamented with her forehead next to yours. “Donna is sick and sometimes she hears voices that tell her horrible things. She is a jealous fool, but I swear to you by Giovanni Beneviento, my creator, that she loves you, and that she would never hurt you. I give you my word.”
“I…” you whispered, also calming the lady's crying. “You weren't upset about my friend?”
“Yes, but... I'm a stupid jealous thing... you have to forgive me... you have to...”
You cut her off with a kiss.
Maybe together, you could put an end to your demons.
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