#eep crime

[rxcketwip]

Warning!!!

intense silliness is about to occur

me when the mac is cheesy

[nervocat]

I'm gonna go to bed guys. Hope you had a good April fools and booping day 🫶🫶

[uroborosymphony]

   Huntress,

   2024, February 14th. Unsent letter to Sarang.

I walked by the edge of the mortal and immortal realms. Quests, obsessions, delusions, that, for as long as my endless days have been haunting me, have known no salvation, no redemption. To perish. All I ever wished for was to be buried to the ground. For the grand, violent, merciless death of Thanathos and Moros to turn me into ashes. It all changed, when you found me again.

The sound of your arrows rattling against the cold of my blade echoes in the core of the night, a vibration in the crystal of my bones, the awakening of a passion that burnt inside me through the centuries. Do I renounce, surrender to what I have been chasing for 600 years : the wish to never feel alive. You make me feel alive. Alive, when the black blood of my iron veins tremble to the sound of your velvet voice, to the warmth of your core, to the darkness of your eye. I do not wish to break your heart, Adored, yet I am aware these irrational desires of mine, the prayers for my own end - I aware of the doubts and the trouble is rises within you. They follows us, the shadows of my own madnesses, they're running aft'er Us. I myself broke my own heart, Beloved, realizing I never learned how to live outside of the idea that death would be better than any of this.

I am scared. I must admit. Scared to accept this immortality and acknowledge that I became this monstrosity my own blood made of me. Have my crusade been in vain? Have the lives I took, the generations of underworld creatures I exterminated... was all this loss in vain? I tainted the colors of my soul, sold it to the depths of hell, for a mortality that will never be mine? I attempted to grieve, for many years, to grieve this dream of lying still, lifeless. And then I see you, and this pain I have been holding onto, it vanishes. How selfish can I remain, if I deny this second chance the Olympians have given me, the chance of sharing the rest of this immortality with You.

Will you keep me in your soul?

Along with the rivers of guts and blood that have washed over my martial hands and my serpentine coils?

Will you hold my wrath in the palms of your tender hands? Will you treat oh so gently the madness that poison my viscera?

I was a coward, running away after the Grand War in the 18th century. I was a coward, disappearing from your sight after our truce in the 19th century, I was a coward, escaping after reuniting with you in San Francisco in the 20th century. A coward : I do not wish to be one any longer. In the nights I must suffer from your absence, I remember the tips of your fingers against the timidity of my neck and I pray, to my Mother Hecate, to forgive me and I beg, for all my punishments to crease, and I beg, for You.

Will you spend another eternity with me?

⠀⠀⠀⠀An unsent letter to @mythvoiced. From Calista.

[bereft-of-frogs]

Black Christmas is truly my favorite slasher and favorite Christmas-horror (thought Anna and the Apocalypse is also really great), but 1) literally my nightmare 2) it always kind of weirds me out that this predates both the Weepy Voice Killer’s 911 calls and the EARONS/Golden State Killer’s calls and YET

[chryblossomjjk]

we are pulling an all nighter and putting some serious word count down on dilf tonight friends >:'(

[pulsar-ray]

I should go to sleep because the bed will be warm & I feel moderately safe when I'm eepy & I have a new idea to work with. The heart wants to play with the language of the mind, & tonight I will let it.

[35253319]

Sometimes I'm so selfless that the thought of doing something that's just for me makes me want to throw up or feel slightly queasy

[yueebby]

2 + 1 — gojo satoru

synopsis. two times megumi thinks gojo is a lost cause and one time he approves of the white haired idiot

contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, ooc, misogyny (from the clan heads), he is so pathetic for his wife (nauseating!), slight yandere behavior, violence, in megumi’s pov, not proofread eep

notes. can you tell i've been obsessed with the apothecary diaries? >< also how long has it been since i've posted a fic? anyways... enjoy!

fushiguro megumi has always wondered how that blue eyed idiot managed to marry you. he must have resorted to underhanded tactics; or at least that's what the sea urchin suspects. though he's never voiced it, the question has bothered him since the day he first encountered the both of you.

nobara clicks her tongue. “this is borderline creepy.” her orange eyes are filled with nothing short of distaste.

“there’s more too,” megumi’s voice responded, carefully flipping the page. the delicate artifact in his hand is something that he should have not touched. perhaps he should have wrapped it with a talisman and destroyed it while he had the chance.

it was too late for that anyway, because not even a second later, gojo satoru bursts through the shoji doors of the classroom. 

with eyes blown wide as if they were caught committing a crime (they were), the first years who had pulled three seats up to a singular desk stare at him. satoru's eyes widen behind his blindfold as he catches sight of the object of their focus.

there lies in the middle of the wooden desk was the physics textbook that all first year jujutsu tech students were required to read. however, this wasn’t just any plain old textbook. it was gojo satoru’s former textbook. brimmed with doodles of their beloved [name] sensei and gojo himself when they were back in highschool.

any free space that was not filled with words were taken up by drawings of you inside of hearts and sometimes a depiction of a chibi version of the two of you.

a true testament to gojo satoru’s pining and devotion to you.

“sensei, we can explain–” yuji attempts to explain himself but gojo holds up a hand to silence the boy. 

unlike you, megumi finds it a lot more challenging to read the white haired sorcerer’s expression with the blindfold on. he wonders if his punishment will be a painful beating disguised as a sparring session (megumi will run to you, who will scare gojo into backing down). you have that effect on him.

it seems like the heavens have answered megumi’s prayers because gojo satoru doesn’t seem to harbor any anger at his shocking revelation.

“i can’t believe you guys found this old thing.” satoru dismisses his students’ personal space by leaning closely to observe the pages. the black haired boy makes a noise of disapproval, but was quickly cut off by his benefactor. “megumi, be grateful that i’m in a good mood today.” he doesn’t elaborate the ominous message, rather choosing to hum happily as he studies his own drawings.

megumi is smart enough to keep his mouth shut. 

“i never took you to be the pathetic type,” kugisaki continues to flip through the pages of the textbook. yuji nods furiously, as if to agree to her observation.

“you seriously never noticed?” megumi mutters under his breath.

gojo places a strong hand on megumi’s back, a languid smile on his face, “it was only natural, considering the lengths i had to go through to win her over.” he ignores the way megumi gasps for air.

“seriously?” itadori asks in disbelief.

“seriously.” gojo confirms wholeheartedly.

megumi shudders, recollecting memories of times before gojo tied you down for good.

2009

“sorry i’m late!” gojo bursts through the dingy apartment door with a convenience store bag in his arm. he was breathing heavily, an indication that he had run to the apartment. an uninterested seven year old megumi doesn’t bother leaving his place on the couch to greet his benefactor.

“they’re in the kitchen,” he says in his monotone voice, eyes never leaving the book that you had just gifted him.

“they?” gojo walks up to megumi to ruffle his hair aggressively. he receives a hiss in return.

“tsumiki and [name]?” the black haired kid says it like it was obvious. his sentence is accompanied with an eyeroll.

at the mention of your name, gojo immediately perks up. megumi imagines that if he were a cat, his ears would be swiveling and his nose twitching, attuned to pick up any trace of your presence. he had just learned that from the nonfiction book in his lap. 

“[name]?! here? now?” gojo’s eyebrows are raised all the way to his forehead. the white haired sorcerer immediately started fixing his uniform and hair. megumi thinks it was comical. he was a lost cause.

the snarky look on his face is quickly wiped off when he sees gojo leaning down, mouth wide open.

“oi brat, check my breath,” gojo opens his mouth wide for megumi to check. the black haired kid shrivels up into the couch the further gojo leans down. megumi considers summoning his newly discovered jujutsu technique, hoping to avoid his fate.

“—toru? what are you doing?” your voice, like a divine intervention, stops gojo from sending megumi to the depths of despair. a sigh of relief escapes his lips.

now it was his turn to watch gojo squirm. the older male’s face contorts to an awkward smile and all of a sudden gojo is reduced to nothing but a mess.

“don’t worry about it darling!” gojo slowly turns around to face you. “agh—?!”

megumi has to peek around satoru’s big frame to see what elicited such a response from the man.

he’s met with a wave of underwhelming familiarity. there you stand, clad in a frilly apron with a wooden spoon in hand, the essence of domesticity incarnate. the soft glow of the warm kitchen lights dances around you, casting a warm aura that seems to envelop the room.

“welcome home, satoru.” you give him your signature closed eye smile. “i mean, you probably don’t consider it your home but—“

you’re cut off by satoru banging his head on the nearest wall repeatedly. he’s muttering something under his breath that you don’t hear.

to his dismay, megumi's keen ears catch every syllable. satoru's voice, though hushed, carries a hint of longing, "what an angel," he whispers, his words laced with adoration. "just marry me already."

unamused, he watches while you try to desperately pry gojo from his strange outburst.

a lost cause indeed.

2009

in that very year, megumi learns that gojo’s efforts to win your affection had yielded no progress. it had become increasingly apparent that his frequent visits to megumi and tsumiki's humble home were motivated to immerse himself in the semblance of domesticity that your presence offered. megumi almost pitied the man, if it wasn’t for the fact that he knew you deserve someone more sensible.

me

[name]

[nameeeee]

i’m dying.

and it’s your fault t^t

[name] ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

excuse me?

me

i’ll have you know that i worked the hardest that i have ever worked to finish all of my paperwork so i could see you tonight… only to find out from megumi that you’re on a date?!!?

i feel like my chest is caving in. 

i’m going to throw up.

[name] ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

oh this is what you’re interrupting my date for?

me

i’m going to be sick.

please tell me, is he hotter than me? wealthier? funnier?

megumi quickly looks away from gojo’s phone screen when the white haired male slams it shut and mutters under his breath a couple of curses. he’s pretty sure half of them were death threats.  honestly, couldn't you have attracted someone with more dignity?

“change of plans,” gojo claps his hands together. “movie night’s off.”

“what?” megumi protests, confusion etched in his features.

“our beloved [name] is getting swept off of her feet. you wouldn’t want that to happen, right?” gojo continues, his tone light but his gaze sharp as it bores into megumi's soul. something unpleasant coils in the pit of his stomach.

megumi feels a chill run down his spine, his mind racing with the implications of gojo's words. if you choose to date this new guy, he realizes, you won't need him or gojo anymore. and that thought terrifies him. it pains megumi to feed into gojo's delusions.

but he can’t let this unnamed suitor steal you away.

a wolfish grin makes its way to gojo’s mouth when he realizes that he’s won.

“what's the plan?”

2016

it was only years later that megumi had seen the true monster that lurks inside of gojo satoru. 

on a hot summer evening, amidst a gathering of esteemed clan heads, he and satoru found themselves in a traditional chamber. while the finer details of the meeting escape his memory, the image of the room that altered his perception of gojo satoru is etched in his mind indefinitely. the wooden walls, adorned with subtle yet elegant designs, speak volumes about the room’s significance as a venue for the most influential members of jujutsu society.

throughout the meeting, he finds himself driving in and out of focus, content to let his mentor represent the gojo clan. however, his attention is abruptly seized by a particular remark that cuts through the haze of his thoughts.

“how’s that whore of yours, gojo?” a clan head jeered, clearly drunk on the sake that was constantly refilled by the servant on the side. his flushed complexion is scarcely discernible thanks to the dim glow emanating from the few lanterns scattered around the room. 

there was only one person he could have been referring to: you. underneath the wooden table, his fingers tightened painfully into fists. pretentious bastards, megumi thinks.

another geezer rubbed his beard thoughtfully, “she has a nice body. perfect to be a concubine, but i would marry a more submissive woman.”

megumi's gaze stealthily darts towards gojo, seated beside him.

he’s startled to find the white-haired man wears a wide grin that belies a hidden truth. unseen by the elders before them, lurking beneath gojo's outward expression, is a manic gleam in his eyes—a revelation that sends a shiver down megumi's spine.

“i’d hold my tongue if i were you.” gojo satoru’s voice was dripping with venom. he sounded downright murderous.

"i'm right, am i not? we can share her if you'd like- name the price." the drunkard continues loudly.

megumi senses an instinctive wave of primal dread washing over him, compelling him with an urgent, almost instinctual need to flee or die.

before he can move a muscle, the flames that surround the room flicker before extinguishing in succession by an unknown force. the metallic stench of blood fills the air and all he can hear is the sound of flesh mutilating and bones crushing accompanied by the painful shouts of the men that once sat in front of him. he doesn’t have to see it with his own eyes to be able to sense gojo’s strong curse residue that suffocates the room.

“stand up megumi. we’re leaving.” his voice carries a feral edge, leaving no room for objection.

on their way out of the compound, the two don’t utter a word at what had just transpired. 

megumi's gaze remains fixed on the ground beneath his feet, the images of the recent events swirling in his mind, leaving him unsettled and shaken. with each step, he grapples with the unsettling realization that beneath gojo satoru's charismatic facade lies a darker, more sinister nature.

the strongest sorcerer of today, riled up by the mere mention of your name.

megumi supposes he doesn’t feel much remorse for those clan heads anyway. he was never the type to mourn over people he didn’t know dying. especially not people who he knew would live on to do evil. it doesn’t help that they were blatantly disrespecting you. perhaps he could sympathize with the monster inside of gojo.

oblivious to the turmoil that stirs inside of megumi, gojo starts to smile.

“i know what you’re going to say,” gojo hums happily. “gojo sensei, you’re so cool! i approve of you marrying my beloved [name]! kyaa~’” he makes a pathetic attempt to imitate megumi. 

the black haired boy grunts. he was going to say something along the lines of his approval for his benefactor, but all desires of flattering the white haired sorcerer disappeared.

gojo watches the black haired boy intently before tutting.

“not that it matters.” megumi is startled to hear how his voice dropped an octave. “i was always going to marry [name] and i’ll be damned to let anyone stop me.” 

2018 – present day

after satiating his students with tales from his pining days, your husband comes home often clingier than normal (is that even possible?). the moment satoru enters your home, his arms envelop you, caging you in his hold.

you can't help but giggle as his hair brushes against the side of your neck, his embrace pulling you in close, as if he's inhaling your presence.  his muscles flex when you attempt to slip away, keeping you in his tight embrace.

“sato– what is going on?!” 

“is it a crime to show my wife some love?” he kisses your neck. when his flurry of kisses stop, he resorts to absorbing all of your features with those cerulean eyes of his.

you don’t bother pushing him away again, choosing to thread your fingers through his soft hair. even after all these years, you will never not feel the effect of satoru’s eyes on you.

“i was telling my first years about you today,” he says softly.

you smile, “is that so?”

he pushes his nose into your neck again, nodding.

“you’re so good to them,” you whisper. despite the initial shock behind satoru choosing to pursue education, you’re extremely proud of how far he’s come.

“mhm,” satoru inhales. “i’d be good to our little ones too.” one of his hands sneak to your stomach.

you delicately guide his face away from your form, your fingers tenderly urging him to meet your gaze. "is there something you want to tell me?" you inquire softly, your eyes reflecting the warmth of your affection.

satoru's smirk deepens, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "perhaps," he murmurs, his touch light as he guides you towards the bedroom. without hesitation, you yield to his lead, eager at his sudden intimate gesture.

from outside your home, three first year students stand, waiting for their sensei’s cue to enter.

“do you think he’s forgotten about us?” yuji furrows his eyebrows, hands full of grocery bags that were going to be prepared for dinner.

extra notes. had the idea of gojo and megumi crashing your date in my drafts for so long. maybe ill elaborate on it if the ppl want to see :,)

[a66-1]

tan lines.

EEP before bed Simon thots guys (can I go to the beach yet please)

please save me I've had the worst headache all day

Simon x fem!reader

You set your alarm the night before to 5 am, knowing you wanted to be early enough to find a spot close to the water.

You swung your legs over the bed, excitedly standing up to go change. Simon was groaning about how it's too early but, what is too early right now? You grab your bikini from the closet and head to the wash room to change.

Simon follows you, but at a much slower rate. He sat up and gained his bearing for a few minutes, before standing. His bones creaked and cracked, as he walked over to grab his swim trousers.

"Uh.. Love? What color is your bikini?" He calls softly to you. You peak your head out of the bathroom, giggling.

"Why? Y'wanna watch?" You hid your crooked smile behind your hand. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I do. Is that a crime?" He grumbled, and grabbed your wrist to pull you to him, and to see what your bikini was.

It was pink. So like you.

You sprinted to save a a spot right in front of the waves, the towels and bags in your hands, while Simon carried the heavy stuff.

"Baby! Here!" You called to him, smiling all happily. He dropped the chairs, and you opened them. He watched as you bent over to flatten the chairs.

He took his opportunity to smack that cute butt while it was in the air.

"Sorry love, it was in my face," he shrugged, and plopped the umbrella down. With a smack to his arm, you sat down, grumpily.

"Here? Of all places? God, Si, sometimes I think you're just a horny tenn." You mumbled, sliding your glasses down.

"Oh? You want me to get worse?" He smiled, leaning over, "I can get real in character."

mmm it was sitting in my drafts okay it kinda sucks

ilysm.

-a661

[albaricomics]

raah im obsessed w how u draw angus... do u have any hc for him? i love reading ur hc for everyone eep 💕💕💕💕💕💕 (also yeah happy pride month)

Angus omg, he's THE character:

Italian mafia boss, that's an obvious one

Wanted on 42 countries for multiple crimes such as scamming, robbery, torture and the list goes on.

He does most of his meetings and deals on a local bar near the building.

One night he saw a lonely, sad and miserable man about to pass out at the bar, though it was weird he had barely touched his drink. He thought this would be a great chance to scam another poor man and take whatever he had on his pockets, but as he started chatting and noticing they live in the same place, he ended up befriending him, and that's how he met Francis.

Nacha absolutely despises him, she does not trust him for anything, and when she sees Francis hanging out with him she keeps her distance. Also when it's Francis' turn to take care of Ana, she makes it very clear to keep Angus away for those days. Spoiler, he shows up anyway and likes to show his cheating secrets to her, and he's also teaching her how to drive (like a maniac, this man never uses the brakes).

Is always prepared to fight against doppels, just when they plant a foot inside his apartment he's already there, sitting so confortable and smiling at them, already pointing and not even taking him 3 seconds to shoot.

No one in the building besides Francis and Margarette (just bc the sweet naive person she is) likes him, always trying to sell crap to everyone or get money from them in any way possible.

Despite being someone so hungry for money, the only person he doesn't take money from and even pays everything for is Francis (is not like he can't afford it, but he's just so tired from working he never has the energy to go for groceries).

BONUS: He pranks Francis on his birthday, either getting a good scare out of him or dropping things on him (last time he was entering his apartment and a bucket of scarlet milk dropped all over him, that lead poor Francis to buy a new uniform).

[eggs-attorney]

[<<< First] [< Prev]

Eggman: We now convene for the trial of Yanshu Dryll the Mole. I trust the prosecution is ready to commence?

Payne: The prosecution's been ready for days, your honor.

Eggman: And is the defense ready to proceed?

Reiker: Yes, your honor.

Reiker: (Yeah… Ready. No evidence, no alternate theories�� Guess I should just pay attention and do my best.)

Payne: Seems the murderer finally gathered enough funds for a private defender. How'd you do it? Kill another robot? Rob a casino?

Eggman: Actually, this man is our new public defender. This will be his first case.

Payne: Oh, how precious… I bet he'll be running out of town with his tail feathers between his legs after we confirm the guilty verdict.

Reiker: (… Is he serious?)

Eggman: We’ll see, now… Let's not keep this waiting any longer than we already have. Prosecutor Payne, your opening statement?

Payne: The solution to this case is so obvious that no private defense attorney would even pick up the case! In fact, I almost feel sorry for the poor sap standing across from me.

Reiker: Can we get on with it instead of gloating?

Payne: So eager to face your own demise? Very well, then…

Payne: The crime took place around 8:45 PM last Wednesday. The victim, Flash Driver, is a new member of the doctor’s E-5000 line.

Payne: The victim was found with his legs battered and multiple components taken out of their rear hatch. We cannot obtain camera footage due to the parts being missing, however, we have multiple reasons to believe it was the mole standing before us today.

Reiker: Wait, his legs were battered?

Eggman: This is basic information, did you not read the autopsy report!?

Reiker: With all due respect, you never gave me the autopsy report, your honor.

Eggman: Hm… I suppose in this instance your ill-preparedness is somewhat understandable. Don't let it happen again.

Payne: Feh. Here, fledgling - your first piece of evidence. Please try to keep your gape-mouthed self from drooling all over the pages.

Strait: … I think I’ll be fine, thanks.

Autopsy Report (Flash) has been added to the Court Record.

Reiker: (I should take a closer look at that. Remember, Strait - evidence is a lawyer's best friend! Good thing I keep it Pinned at the Top of my mind!)

Reiker: I notice you haven't mentioned a motive, or why my client is your prime suspect. Was she even near the crime scene at the time of the murder?

Payne: Listen, kid, I have this case down tight. Your defendant there is one of 10 people who could have possibly committed the crime at hand.

Reiker: … One of 10? How do you figure?

Payne: Let's just call them the tools of the trade. Specifically, the tool set a Robo-Tech like her uses daily.

Eggman: Ah, you must be referring to the Omnitools, no?

Reiker: Omnitools?

Eggman: You're familiar with the concept of an army knife, correct? Imagine a compact device like that, equipped with every screwdriver, wrench, and key needed to access all the technical parts of my machines, including Robians. This one is assigned to her.

Yanshu's Omnitool has been added to Court Record.

Payne: No one could have accessed the stolen parts without those tools, not to mention that Yanshu was the last person to meet with the victim, during a routine maintenance checkup…

That was anything but routine!

Eggman: Uh... Interesting. In what way was it not routine?

Payne: Well, the perpetrator is right here. Why don't we ask her? Miss, let's start with your name and occupation.

Yanshu: Eep! I, um… M-… My name is Yanshu Dryll. I'm a Class C Robo-Tech, f-for the Main Division…

Payne: And if I'm correct, you assisted the victim…

On the day of the murder!?

Yanshu: W-well, yes, but that doesn't mean I killed him!

Eggman: The court will be the judge of that. Now, if you could please testify regarding this maintenance appointment you had.

Yanshu: Y-yes doctor- I mean, sir! I mean-… Y-yes, your honor!

Testimony 1 - The Maintenance Appointment

1:) I had been assigned to Flash to do a routine checkup, scheduled for Wednesday at noon.

2:) All the required checks were proceeding as normal, and the appointment was rather short.

3:) My boss came by and signed off on my maintenance sheet…

4:) … And shortly after that, Flash left, just like he usually does. That was the last time I saw him.

Reiker: (Hm… Not much to work with... At least that old cat has just as little information as I do.)

Reiker: (But if that’s really the case, why does he look so confident…?)

Payne: … Really? That's all you have to say?

Yanshu: Y-yes, and it’s the truth! Wh-… What more could you want?

Eggman: I will kindly ask the prosecution to not badger the witness. Now, defense, are you ready for the cross examination?

Reiker: (I need more information… Just gotta dive into the old Thought Pool and figure out what to ask. Maybe I'll glean some new information! Once I think I've got it down pat, I can Present an idea by connecting a Statement with an Item in the Court Record!)

[no-see-um-incorrect]

Things I have said as redacted characters 

Guy: I know I might get hate crimed BUuUUuTT everyone here is Hot

Sam: just because I’m tired all the time doesn’t mean you should leave me out of the smoke circle!

Gavin: I was myself. And people didn’t like that. So I just got hotter and cried quieter. 

Early Sam: do I think Anyone would Care if I Died? No. I’m I gonna be immortal on the off chance they would? Yes, Absolutely 

Huxley: Everything was fine just some good old-fashioned tree eeps

Lasko: what if I got railed? then I wouldn’t have the energy to overthink I would just be sleepy 

Darlin: It’s basically a book full of recipes for wreaking havoc

Caelum: this sign can’t stop me because I can read….. it’s just very difficult 

Ollie: that made my dyslexia have a heart attack

Asher: antidepressants take many forms. this one just so happens to be chicken nuggets and an energy drink 

Milo: If I talked to my Mother like that I would be labeled as John Doe 

[loftedlow]

what was Dazai ON in bad dark era??? This man’s way of getting his was was word for word die now or give us information and die later???? most ppl of any intelligence had heard of Dazai so me personally I think just have a sedative capsule and do what u need to do 😭

Now on the other hand if i was investigating him Ima just bsfr, all it takes is to be nice to me like bare minimum and I fall head over heels for people. (hopeless romantic) I’m also hella gullible so yeah no

OH but if i got kidnapped the thing is im SUCH a people pleaser like “are you sure abt the backseat? I can do the trunk if that’s easier for u” I also talk an ungodly amount. I’d be thrown out or shot who knows. I also can’t be in a car without either eeping or music or true crime podcasts. HOW WOULD THIS WVEN GO???

[possumsinpeoplesuits]

Holy shit I was working on this since late October, and I'm the most proud I've ever been of a picture I've drawn?

Details and graffiti transcriptions below the cut! 'Cause I worked on that shit for like three entire days, and I'll be damned if I don't show off some environmental storytelling word crimes.

So, first we have a couple closer looks of Sasha! Their outfit was pretty fun. I haven't done modern outfits in... probably ever, and it was nice having a lot more references to work off of.

Their sefirot necklace was fun to draw because I have one almost exactly like it. The flannel was the first time trying to do plaid by hand with a new little technique (Base colors+Multiply layer for dark stripes+Overlay layer for light stripes) but it went way faster than the god damn quilt?

All in all, my favorite detail was doing cosmetics, because I got to do little chips missing in the nail polish, and that's probably the first time I've drawn eyeshadow and willingly shown the result! : D

Next we have the little rat family in the background, with the wall-dwelling Rat King peeking through the wall, which is where I did dipped into tracing a couple photos instead of just looking at references.

Generally my process has been doing anatomy lines over a reference, then working off of those for about... three to four layers for body->clothes->hair->Full sketch, then another with whatever brush I wanna do the lineart with (usually a watercolor detail brush from one of two sets on Krita), but I'll note where I skipped that process and committed some art crimes.

The two background rats (Pestis and Mortar) are from a pair of stock photos from Getty, while the one in the foreground (Yersinia) is a mix of a pic that pops up in meme dumps from time to time of a smoking rat and a few bits that weren't in the original image. (Jewelry, the legs that were covered by an ash tray in the original pics, the "Buns and Roses" lighter she clearly stole from Sasha.)

Time for some graffiti transcriptions! Most of the variation in the graffiti came from switching the size of my brush and trying to mix up my handwriting, but there's a few segments where I use a font, then outlined the font with a 2px across brush to make it fit more into the art. Mostly, this was through screenshotting google docs, but some of the fancier fonts are from cooltext.com.

Top:

This is really high

No it's not?

Top Right:

A drawing of a clown that clearly used to be titties

"What's wrong with Bipo's eyes?" (Referring to the tape over the nipples)

"Their titties, bro"

"What about them?"

Top Left going down:

"Hail Satin" written next to a six pointed star

"Rong star, dumass"

A sticker reading "Apologize to your English teacher"

"Yeah, get a brian, morans!"

"You're just as bad as the other two!"

<The URL for the Wikipedia page on sarcasm>

Bottom Left:

Gazebos ate my ass

Bottom center:

"My sister turned into a bird but no one believes me."

"That's rough, buddy."

Bottom right:

A sticker of a possum with "Live Weird" written on it.

A sticker of a more poorly drawn character wrapped in blankets with "Seep eeps" written on it.

...So I made up a fake BDSM club for this one and named the majority of the bands dirty jokes, but I will die on the hill that there should be an all-trans metal band called "The Book of Dead Names."

CHOKE POINT

PRESENTS

LIVE MUSIC

THIS SUNDAY

CUNT MUNCHIES

THE BOOK OF DEAD NAMES

SOME GUY NAMED STEVE

FIST FUCK DUMP TRUCK

WOLFGANGBANG

THE PENIS MIGHTIER

A sticker with a set of vampire fangs that says "Got Blood?"

"Parasitic fucks"

"U got beef w/ Count Chocula?"

"Bro, vamps suck."

"Duh"

"So does your mum.

A sticker of a cross made out of a bunch of interlocking parts with some mirrored Hebrew in the middle. (I'm really proud of making this shape up on the spot. I had an idea for a religious monster hunter group named after the Watchers from Enoch, but I've got no idea if this story will ever happen.)

"Your Hebrew is backwards, you twatwaffle"

A sticker reading "Deus Vult"

"I fucking love Powerwolf"

"VULT DEUS NUTS, GOTTEM!

A cut off poster telling people to vote for, I presume, their favorite chainsmoking rat, clearly.

A sticker of the Autism Creature

"Rizz 'em w' the Tism" with the last S being the one everyone draws in school, but also backwards.

"It's like if Kirby was a centaur"

"I will never unsee that."

"It looks nothing like my vaccuum"

A paper with "Missing Printer" and a cut off phone number written in sharpie.

A meme of a bear in a suit (Partially a trace of the actual meme template) with "You have seasonal affective disorder because you need Vitamin D. I have seasonal affective disorder because one of my ancestors fucked a bear. We are not the same"

"Is that how it happens?"

"Oh, sure, this dude's ancestor fucks a bear, he gets a meme, BUT WHEN I-"

"Going insane by yourself, handsome?"

Three pieces of paper with "Yes" "Yup" and "Yass" written on them, two stuck on with tape, while the third is stuck to a wad of chewing gum.

"You guys seriously pay to print out memes just to vandalize shit?"

"No, I stole the printer, too."

"YOU"

"Paulie never died"

A sticker of the Mothman

"TAX FRAUD"

A large printout with a dramatic portrait of Mitch McConnell with "ARE YA BREEDING YET?" written below it. Several tear off strips are missing, but the remainder all say different variations of "Yes"

A cut off sticker of a smiley face

A sticker of a machete

"BURGLE TURTS"

A sticker of a crying laughing emoji.

A sticker of a pot leaf

A sticker with a picture of bigfoot with pasties on her boobs walking up to a stripper pole with "I want to believe" written in the X-Files font

"Whoever gave Bigfoot tits will never enter the Kingdom of God"

Three notes pointing to the previous message with "Noticed the tits first" "Weirdo" and "Your preoccupation with cryptid mammaries betrays your discomfort with your own sexuality. Consider meditation, therapy, or possibly fucking yourself!"

"Weirdo" pointing to the previous paragraph before being crossed out and replaced with "BASED"

"K, but y tho?"

"No one insults the Bigfoot big naturals on my watch"

(She has them in the Patterson-Gimli footage, too)

"BIGFOOT BIG NATURALS" "NOW LORE ACCURATE"

A swastika being covered up by a peace sign

"Degenerates should be purged" "AMEN" "U FIRST."

A drawing of a penis that's been turned into a weasel in a familiar pose with "Dick weasel" and "Had to do it to 'em" written next to it

A sticker of a stalk of corn labeled "CORN"

"See? Iowa is with us!"

And, finally, "Does reading this hurt your back, too?" which was the last thing I added because I literally spent two days just doing graffiti for this shit.

So, the map behind Sasha is made up on the spot, with some inspiration from a map of the Seattle Bay. Kinda proud of just how dirty this fucking place is, but the final, and greatest achievment in making this picture look grimy...

THE RUST

I didn't exactly nail the perspective on some of these (The sketchy layer for the floor grating was done once, then dragged into place and warped with the perspective... and then completely fucked that up) but god DAMN do I love texturing the fuck out of things!

There's like six Multiply layers scattered about because it turned out it's a phenomenal way to make the shading of multiple textures make sense without losing that texture, and I feel so god damn powerful!

Oh, right, the posters.

Not much to say about them. The righthand one was 95% traced from a mafia stock photo, while the hands in the left came from another stock photo.

Honestly, I drew the frames, then had no idea what to put in them. There was briefly gonna be a pic referencing a cosplay photo I have of myself, but eh...

The rats and the guy in the wall were originally referencing a Vampire the Masquerade character I had named Pretty Paulie, who was a mafioso turned nosferatu who dubbed his crew the Rat Pack. I figured if there was some kind of dramatic, Scarface-esque movie about him, he'd definitely find a way to keep the poster nearby, and I wanted to slap in one of those "Give blood!" posters from the Red Cross except... not from the red cross.

I don't really feel like I put in much effort into these (compared to the Graffiti-a-thon with several subplots), but hey... they covered the tile, which before shading was boring and very flat, so they did their job.

I'll leave you with some zoomed in textures, because I do feel proud about those! I make them via a combo of oil paint and watercolor brushes, usually with a whole lot of different coats of varying opacity until it looks like the thing it's supposed to be. :)

I've only just started drawing again this year (I've been editing a looooot longer) so there's a lot of spaces where I have hiccups, but I'm figuring out the areas I do well in.

...Also sweet Jesus this started as me trying to figure out what a character looked like. It says 3 full days worth of editing was done in Krita on this file, and I don't think it's counting the idle time.

[crazylittlejester]

For the color ask thing: Maroon, white, teal, magenta, brown. orange, and indigo.

<33333333

ALL OF THESE ARE SO FUNNY AS A LONG COMBO TOGETHER AND THE ORDER IS KILLING ME

(maroon) I love you platonically: why thank you :)

(white) let’s commit crimes together: Im down

(teal) do you sleep? please get some rest: I eep at odd intervals but i do eep

(magenta) you concern me a lot: why :(

(brown) hug me pls: OFC *hugs*

(orange) you’re my friend <3: OH HELL YEAH!! YIPPEE

(indigo) you kinda scare me: WHY :((