#edit: yes there is some old fashioned stuff in this episode but... this scene is iconic

[jewlwpet]

--Fairy Princess Minky Momo, episode 48, aired September 16, 1992

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won��t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 

Gossip - Thai BL 

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 

Breaking News 

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[prettywarriors]

Fate The Winx Commentary

Good morning internet! Today is the drop of Winx: Riverdale edition! I sure hope you're ready for my aggressive and unnecessary commentary, because it is coming for you either way!

The netflix landing page lets us know:

Fate The Winx Saga

6 episodes, 48-53 minutes each

"Genres: Fantasy TV Shows, Teen TV Shows, Italian TV Shows"

"This show is: Emotional"

As mentioned elsewhere, my Winx knowledge is limited, so I will be coming into this fairly fresh and will try to be unbiased. As I have seen trailers, the keyword here is Try.

Episode 1

'To the Waters and the Wild'

CW: Animal Death, Swears, Implied Child Death, Blood, Implied Teen Sex, Burns, Weed, Fatphobia, Whatever the term pussie falls under

Episode 1 TL;DR: We meet everyone, learn their dynamics, have the basics of the magic system beat into us, meet our monsters, and name drop Harry Potter. Standard first episode stuff.

I do want it on record before we start that I got about halfway into the first season of Riverdale, and the first season of Netflix Sabrina. They were, well, bland and boring imo? I did get through a few seasons of Teen Wolf, but that's because it was capable of Fun and Jokes. My current expectations are a few unintentionally funny lines, maybe some almost decent magic effects, and because it's 2021, one whole gay character (I did hear one of the boys (there are boys?) is bi, but also an asshole so I'm hoping for some wlw)

TV-MA LANGUAGE AND SMOKING OH FUCKING BOY Almost full moon (waxing) in opening shot- I Will be tracking moon inconsistencies if it keeps showing up that is a pet peeve but hey look a bunch of sheep That's a good start (it's ominous though. don't hurt the sheep) Swears count: Feckin' 2 Mystical portal barrier. Oh yeah s5 of the magicians is on netflix now WELP THOSE ARE SHEEP GUTS RIGHT OUT THE GATE HUH For CW it's up a tree, and the dripping blood is a good warning of what's about to be seen :( oh and then the man who was looking for the sheep dies offscreen save for a spray of blood. THIS ISN'T YOUR CHILD'S WINX CLUB it seems to say. I assume. How much blood was in the original winx because this is already at least a full cup. (Also the monster noises for whatever was chasing the man (werewolf it was a werewolf trailers are bad guys) were not very good)

Opening credit scene is 5-6 different blooming elemental wings. They're pretty, but it's unclear if the last one is secret 6th member wings (because the second to last ones are fire which is the main character's element right?) so maybe we'll get a late 6th addition? (I am in I.T. please give me the most relatable character you cowards)

KIDS IN THE CORNER BY AMBER VAN DAY PLAYING I like where they shot this but that might just be european woods pretty. The opening location was nice and mossy save for the sheep blood Fancy big stone school establishing shots (it's nice, and huge) and we land on a red head who seems less than pleased to be here Courtyard shot of... whatever the name of the replacment plant girl is, holding a tray of various potted plants for an older man (father? first day of school send off maybe?) Aisha(?) walks by, not talking to anyone, Stella(?) is taking Magical!Selfies with at least 3 other girls, Musa(?) has a suitcase and headphones and smiles at a passing girl Oh boy a boy with a pocketknife doing little tricks with it! Nothing says edgy like an actual knife edge. Gonna take this moment to point out I have some level of face blindness and while the girls all look fairly different from one another, if there is more than one tall blonde white boy as I fear there may be, I WILL NOT be able to tell them apart. Not through maliciousness, just general incompetence, so anything I say about the boy characters (I want to say they're the knights to the girl's faeries? is that right? this whole thing smacks of gender) should be taken with a heap of salt I've come to accept tv just. displaying text messages on screen as a storytelling method. It's never my favorite but it just Is a modern story element. Also Bloom needs to meet stella at the alfea gates Alfea I presume is the school- does the name mean something? It sure feels like the word elf and therefore fae but I don't feel like googling anything this early in Oh look two more blondish tall white boys. Pocketknife was wearing something else i think, one guy has a brown jacket and pink shirt (bad combo), the other looks old even by tv highschool/college standards and his jacket has a jock vibe. Jock jacket also has an earring? Is this the bi character who is an asshole? From this one second of him, only in profile, I will assume yes, he is an asshole I like Bloom's backpack Pink shirt looks at Bloom from across the quad. I am already tired of this romance Cool he walks up to someone he has identified as lost, and is 'impressed with [her] confidence in the face of complete ignorance' COMING OUT OF THE GATE WITH A NEGG HUH PINKY He even states he wasn't offering help Then Why Are You Talking To Her Jackass Subs are going with the fairy spelling, and Bloom confirms she is a fairy and we confirm this is College. Unless this is a european thing where they call schools different things. I think that's just for public and private? And maybe just england? I'm American all they teach us is 1492-ww1 over and over for like. 10 years sorry Rest of the World 'What Realm are you from?' 'California' Speaking of ameri-centric, I'm gonna Guess that original Winx, the italian cartoon, didn't have their main character be from cali usa? I am presuming this is a side effect of making this property for a more global distribution than I'm guessing winx was originally conceived as back in the early 00s The Otherworld. I assume this is the fairy realm and whatnot? And the magic school. Seems to be located behind a magical barrier in the earth realm?? If that's right it seems weird if basically everyone who goes to the school is from the otherworld Pinky doubles down on his rudeness but in a Fun and Cute way because :/ and the Specialist hall is Very Pretty, oh and there's a fairy hall. Are specialists the boy...things? magi knights? bros of the blade? guys who wear those 'here come a special boy' sneakers from that one comic? Stella sees this conversation which is great because they drop the term mansplain. why would otherworlders know that term even??? Edgey(?) sees Pinky and they hug it out Stella knows Americans are the type to wander off so I guess there's a lot of inter-world connections?

Miss Dowling- is this teacher going to be like the pedo in riverdale who got *checks notes* killed off by one of multiple serial killers later on? Dowling is the headmistress, gotta keep the otherworld a secret from earthers, time and place for portal making. all standard fantasy stuff so far, nothing to make this stand out Stella has a gateway ring, and frankly isn't too nice? all the backgrounders clothing is Bland and very normal 7 realms of the otherworld, Solaria is where Alfea is, i like magic globe Incase you forgot this was a modern tale, people update their insta stories here. 'I was kindof bummed I didn't see a single pair of wings' YOU AND ME BOTH BLOOM 'We had wings in the past, transformation was lost, tinkerbell was an air fairy' This is either a cop out for your glittery cowardice, or a set up for the main girls re-finding transformation magic later. I did like the Tink bit Bloom is a fire fairy and the subtext of this conversation is that bloom's magic did Something bad. I hope it was burn down her old school's gym a la buffy movie I like miss Dowling but in the I wouldn't Be Surprised if you turned out to be Evil way, and I guess Alfea is a very privileged upper crust school. What types of college do normal fairies go to then huh? damn privileged fairies 'our students have gone on to do amazing things like re-discover long lost magics' We Get It. You will give me Wings, but Only If I'm Patient Dowling throws a jab at Bloom about power control, but I like her necklace so It's Fine

Bloom video calls her parents while unpacking in the dorm, which may have come pre-fit with a heck ton of board games? Love it. Or new plant girl brought them along with her many plants Stella has a fancy mirror and lots of jewelry and fashion photos and makeup, Musa has a laptop and apparently not much else, gotta get those establishing personalities down I guess 'Ladies of the Flies honey don't be sexist' Bloom's dad for feminist of the year (these jokes are bad but i guess we can call it a dad joke as justification) Asiha gives Bloom a look and saves her from the call with her parents- yay friendship step one achieved Blooms parents think she's in the alps because magic secrets and what not Aisha asks bloom if she's never read harry potter and I guess Bloom is a potterhead (that's the term right?). Is this self awareness that all magical school fantasy series have the same basic bricks?  Bloom is a ravenclaw sometimes slytherin, Aisha is a Gryffindor Stella is changing because she's the fashion one and has a fun pastel rainbow skirt, and uses magic to make a real aggressive lamp. She's also a mentor (maybe older than the others by a bit?) I am assuming Stella here is something along the lines of a diplomats daughter the way she talks about appearances. She better get down and dirty later on to show her growth about how some things are more important than looks yada yada Fairy magic powered by strong emotions, i am waiting for bloom's backstory to be movie x-men rogue style tragedy Terra! Which. Of course is the Plant Fairy's name. Stella is a little mean to her about the plants and she takes it with a smile and some subtle snark back using classic literature Oh that's fun Terra points out the name-plant thing, and name drops her cousin Flora. That's. The one they replaced with Terra right? Terra's dad works in the greenhouse at the school which explains earlier (and her mum is named rose) Stella is indeed a second year and Musa's eyes change for. Lie detecting magic? and loves her headphones (Overstimulation?) Aisha wants somewhere to swim and we cut to a 'pond' by specialist training. Assuming she wants to sim because she's a water fairy, why Don't they have a pool? also this pond looks. Unpleasant for swimming

Girl specialist! Does that mean we have boy fairies? Boys. Fighting. Talking about girls. All gingers are nuts. Thanks edgelord AMAZING SHAGS THOUGH 'I didn't realize your hand was a red-head' it's not truly edge if we don't talk about sex every 10 minutes Subtitles earlier only said boy 1 boy 2 but now pinky or edgy is Riv Edgy smokes weed, and pinky is a big brother figure to him, and the head? of the special boys doesn't like edgy. Me neither older guy Bit of swordplay, more girls, every specialist has black training outfits, very military Pinky is Sky who is son of Guy of Place. an important lad. without context this is meaningless to me There's a giggly boy who laughs at the idea of a war in the future and gets a talking to. I suspect this boy will be re-occurring enough to die- he has those tertiary character elements with his intro and such (and he's black so I am prepared for your standard racist murder choices) Burned Ones exist outside the barrier, which makes me wonder if dead shepard was in the otherworld? There was nothing establishing that he was in any type of Other place but :/ Oh look edgey is having a smoke cross the barrier while we learn about the creatures that live beyond it. Time to find out these creatures no one young has ever seen are still kicking Specialist leader had to kill his own pa after a burned one got him. They also. Used a shotgun when trying to fight it. Do specialists even have powers or are they just good with weapons? Edgey finds the shepards corpse. Mostly blood 'it's been 16 years since the last sighting' 'Rosalind killed all the burned ones' ahh magical creature genocide hey when is abarat 4 coming out. and is rosalind hot?

School, gossip, Aisha and Musa are snarking at Tera for thinking the guy died of natural causes because we need to have these characters not actually like each other to make it stand out when they do Aisha talks about how she eats a lot and if she didn't swim she'd be massive and we cut to the plus sized tera looking uncomfortable are we really doing this? Tera points out that Musa was ignoring her earlier and it's all just uncomfortable and not great character conflict (but I thought I saw Musa holding an honest to god ipod? it's blue but it could be a phone case. Her hand is in the way) tera and dad interaction is nice, i'm also convinced they couldn't afford more than 3 magic adults

Girl with braids and metal in her hair! There were witches in winx right? Like 3 minor antagonist girls? I assume this is one of them. Because she has alternative fashion and is therefore evil /s Beatrix. Names in this series leave something to be desired (that something is subtly. I get it, they're carry overs from a series for a younger audience, she-ra had the same issue, but i can still poke fun) Swear count: Arsehole 2 Bollocks 1 Shit 1 She's a weird ass kissing with clearly ulterior motives

Bloom is Studying and her notebook is just FAIRY MAGIC POWER = EMOTIONS LOVE FEAR? HARTED? FIRE FAIRY CONTROL? in case you weren't paying attention Oh a flashback already to the magic triggering event? Her mother had pointed out she's an introvert, and past!Bloom doesn't Party. She goes Antiquing and is a Weird Loner (her 'basic bitch' of a mom's words) Swear count: Bitch 1 Bad daughter count: 1 Bad mother count: 1 Magic glowy eyes for Bloom: 1

Bloom Hates Parties and asks Pinky I mean Sky where she can be Away from People and he fears he'll be Mansplaing to her to. vague that it's dangerous outside instead of saying 'hey there's monsters and someone was just killed by possible one of them stay in the barrier' Stella wants to talk to Sky because they have History. I did hear there was a love triangle between these three. I am bored and everyone at this party is a nosey bitch who is watching their tense conversation. Also Something? Happens when Stella gets upset [mystical warbling] Random magic effects in the (very pretty) forest Bloom is trying to practice her magic on her own, and to do that she's gotta look at sad teen pics. And look, her burnt bedroom from her first power usage The fire magic is pretty good. I think fire is like. the opposite of water when it comes to cg where it almost always looks pretty good, while I swear i've seen the actual ocean look like a shitty render Magic out of control, bloom can't control her emotions, Aisha can stop her with water magic which makes some nice steam Bloom is angry at aisha for saving her. So far 3 of the 5 girls are abrasive at best remember when people made characters likeable? Swear count: Shit 1 (but it doubles as the literal meaning because of flooded toilets) Swear count: Bitch 1 Ass 1 Taking away your teen's door is. Really shitty. Not almost burn down your house worthy but damn cheerleader mom I do not understand sleep shirts with buttons. That seems painful if you lie the wrong way? Her mom was seriously burnt by first magic usage that's a backstory Shit count +1 Main character aspect time: dormant fairy blood line? awfully strong magic for that. baby who died day after it was born and now she's here? ...I was going to say changeling thanks aisha A Barbaric practice loving hints at long term world lore Hell is a bad word for kids!! Cutting to headmistress and her secret passage after finding out bloom is secret pureblood? this really is a harry potter thing

edgelord offers giggly some booze, and says pussies twice because he's Edgey and does peer pressure Tera calls him out and knows he's a sad nerd in disguise not a 'badass' and he says she's 'three people in disguise' because fatphobia shit +1 arehole +1 tera. chokes out edgelord with a vine because she's had enough of this shit. good for her edgelord is Riv, and he lived

OBLIGATORY GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERM CHANGELING REMEMBER BELLA'S VAMPIRE GOOGLE GOD I LOVE TEEN FANTASY AND THEIR INSTANCE ON GOOGLING COMMON FANTASY TERMS OH hey the lamp bloom brought with her is the one she was fixing at home that's a nice touch Stella bonds with Bloom about homesickness, and the takes a selfie Musa is a mind fairy. So she. Is a telepath with purple eye magic? Oh there's types of 'connections' Memory, thought (others but i am cut off from the lore) Stella did Something to someone who Talked To Her Man last year and now lent Bloom her teleportation ring to send her some because miss mentor really cares more about her shitty man then helping the girls she's in charge of First World- earth Old Cemetery? Very Sexy. and bloom sweetie don't leave a mystical gateway open, and how will you explain to your parents how you're back so fast Wait she's only 16? SO this really is some european college where that's a funny way of saying High School Fire guilt, bad feelings about life shattering revelations, better connection with mother. I gotta say I have low expectations of this show carrying the family connection through the rest of this. That conversation felt more like a Hey We Made These Movements Onto Other Stuff Now

Lighting choices are interesting, with green, orange and purple for creepy warehouse. THE Creepy Warehouse where she would sleep without her parent's knowledge wow right that GIRL DROPS THE DAMN RING AT THE FIRST SIGN OF burned one looked more alien than werewolf-y here Decent Horror movie looks, and dude stole her ring. Rude. Saved by the headmistress, and tera/aisha/musa are here to great her Stella can't be here though because she has to greet a half naked freshly showered sky because life is suffering and producers insist people like to see teens half naked (who. Who?) shit +1 and she dumped him. pity part of one and using it to try to get your bone on. HEY A SONG I KNOW. IT'S WHATSITCALLED FROM THE BAYONETTA COMMERCIALS WAY BACK WHEN. in for the kill la roux. I do wish netflix would either commit to telling you what song was playing or didn't tell you at all

Riv offers Beatrix a hit from his joint because what Is a Bad Kid hasn't changed in like 70 years Blowing pot smoke into someone's mouth isn't as sexy as ya'll seem to think it is Musa has cute sleep socks with little pom poms, and I love Tera's floral jammies Tera offers a bluetooth speaker so they can listen to music together Musa also calls out Tera's fake happiness this is the good shit character interaction i live for Musa Empath Mind Fairy 'somber indie music'

If you kill a burned one in the human world Something? Extra bad happens? So the headmistress knows Bloom's a changeling, and ohhh that's the last time a burned one was spotted. Is Rosalind the famed Monster Slayer the birth mother of Bloom? Tera text flirts with Giggly who IS NAMED DANE and has a thing for. Sky? Riv? I told you these boys all look the same to me so if it's a half naked pic on fairy insta i'm out of context clues. Crymeariv is the insta name that answers that. Is this the slow burn enemies to lover mlm i can't finish this sentence i don't care riv is a dick Stella and Sky are in a bed and she doesn't seem to have a top on so Implied sexy times? MYSTERIOUS HOODED AND ROBED FIGURE CROSSES THROUGH THE BARRIAR AND SHOOTS THE BURNED ONE WITH LIGHTNING MAGIC OH IT'S beatrix

alt-J – Adeline as an ending song

[hedgefairy]

So I'm stuck in Berlin, which, you know, it could be worse, but I really wanted to edit that 18th century breeches video. Anyhoo, now I have time and nothing else to do, so here's

Bridgerton, Episode 2

Missed Ep. 1? Here you go.

We start off with a birthing scene, is it the Dukey? It's the Dukey! Daddy Duke does some patriarchal screaming and Mummy Duke promptly dies, because of course she does, we can't have a happy childhood for the brooding hero, c'mon!

Dukey also has a mistress (present day Dukey, not baby Dukey). Is that Opera Girl? I have real problems telling these people apart, especially the Bridgerbros. I somewhere read that it's something that features extensively in the books, them always getting confused for one another, but in the series it just comes off as "these guys all look alike". Make it a plot point or something, but without it being acknowledged on screen this just screams "we didn't know how to make white brown-haired Regency bros look distinct"...

Where, Dreadlock Gent Extra in the background again!

I'm just not a fan of the colour coding between Dukey and Daphne, she basically does a Wendy Darling closet cosplay (don't get me started on that stupid hair... Yet) and he's all dark colours, it's all light female, dark male, even with their overall colouring (her being whiter than brioche and he being a POC) and character (she's a perfect angel and he's super broody) and I just don't dig it. Give me interesting shit, not this obvious sleeping aid! Also, Daphne doesn't even wear a spencer, girl, it doesn't look like it's that hot outside and you look like you're able out in your nighty.

Notes say "Horrid Featherington dresses, the spoon is def. not silver", which yes, antagonist fashion, and ffs, send the underpaid intern who didn't go get strappy shift Ersatz tops to a thrift store for some decent silverware. I can lend you some of mine, but ugh, really, its not that hard. The budget was obviously there.

Do we finally get plot? Eloise the Spirited goes walking with Penny and her hair just... isn't,and yes, she wants to go to uni (of course, because she's not like other girls™, don't get me wrong, YES, but I'm a bit tired of modern ideas being shoehorned into historcal settings because there is so much cool historical feminism and equality discourse and I'd love to see some of that in mainstream-ish popular culture), but Penny is very preoccupied with Cousin's pregnancy.

Of course Daphne's and Dukey's super clever ruse works like a charm, tons of suitors flock to Daphne's parlour. Lord B (you remember, her super asympatico brother who is a straight-up hypocrite) is super agitated about it.

Is that Dreadlock Gent in with the suitors?

Lord B continues to be a bitch about Horrid Suitor™ (who still has a broken nose which I very much approve of).

Oooh, shirtless boxing! AND gossip! Enter Lord B(itch) who of course wants to throw hands with Dukey. I really like Dukey's boxing bro, and the breeches. I want those! Well, I kinda made some, but the notes are from when I was just making them, so, err, yes. The notes also say "bad defense work, boring footwork" and I'm not sure if I meant Dukey or Lord B, but let's just assume it's both.

More Baby Dukey flashbacks! Daddy Duke sucks. So. Much. Let him kick an actual puppy already, we get it. Fun fact: When I hear Hastings (which is Dukey's last name, but I didn't bother remembering) I automatically think of the battle.

Yay, Penny visits cousin who's all rapunzeled up in her room for being pregnant. Turns out, lol, she got knocked up because church was so boring she started flirting with a guy and they totally hit it off (I'm not sure if it's canon, but I like to think they got it on in one of those confession boxes - idk if that's the term, I'm not catholic - or behind the organ or something juicy like that). Oh god, I hope they don't kill off the baby daddy because he's a soldier.

I refuse to believe in the existence of those high heels on the feet of that acrobat.

Lady B gets invited by the Queen and elatedly let's Daphne wear the family diamonds.

I just noticed that it's just Gossip Girl meets Pride & Prejudice. Ugh. I mean, that could have been a really good thing, but no.

Cool Old Lady™ (aka. Lady Danbury) calls Dukey out for dressing so drably. I like her.

"Make yourself terrifying" is a fucking cool piece of advice.

Oh, look, Dukey and Daphne are having fun while Horrid Suitor™ looks on, and Lord B tries to intervene like the little bitch that he is. Turns out Horrid Suitor™ is horrid inside and out and still insists that Daphne basically contractually belongs to him and I just don't have enough middle fingers for that shit.

We get another flashback of how horrible Daddy Duke is.

So the two women who are not into the whole (tiringly chemistry-free) romance thing are Eloise and Penny, one of whom walks like she's trying to emulate a seventy-year old with back problems and the other is the only non-thin person on screen aside from Horrid Suitor™ (and of him I suspect that it's to underline how very unattractive he's supposed to be). It feels all a bit very caricature-ish?

Horrid Suitor™, who has a shiner now from both Daphne and Dukey (I approve), tries to blackmail his way into marriage. It's just so laughably evil? What's this subtlety thing people keep talking about?

Wait, Eloise smokes? Yay! I mean, I don't encourage that, but in this case it's actual rebellion against the perceived ideal woman. Also, it explains her voice. Also, middle Bridgerbro gets a fucking line! WTF! I wasn't prepared for this! Their interaction is really sweet, I think its my favourite so far in the entire series.

Is the portly guy at court meant to be George IV? He's not. Aww. Also, cocain and/or snuff. Queen Charlotte is being ominous and braggy.

Enter Horrid Suitor™'s mum for gossip, because of course he's not only unsightly, of bad character, a sexual harrasment on legs and all the stuff, he's also a mama's boy. Which is bad, I suppose, because it implies unmanliness and being soft, which has so many unfortunate implications in itself. Ugh.

Cousin gets a line!

Eloise feat. bad "tomboy" hair (I feel personally attacked for some reason) and Daphne have a conversation about how they are super traumatised by their mother giving birth to their siblings.

Some of the background dresses look really bad.

Dukey and Daphne switch to first names, that's SO ROMANTIC! Aaah, the chemistry! (no.)

Ooooh, so Dukey not marrying is his revenge against Daddy Duke. His bloodline dies with him. Also, he just hadn't met Protagonist Girl yet, so it would have been such a waste, right?

And this concludes Ep. 2, which had surprisingly little in terms of annotations. I could delve more into the unfortunate implications of Horrid Suitor™ being a mama's boy but I'm still writing all of this on my phone and I need a break. So,

To be Continued.

Probably soon, because the trains still aren't going.

[yenslilac]

Daenerys Targaryen and Ophelia: An Essay

I wrote this a while back, just after Season 8 ended. After a few edits, I decided to share it with you! Disclaimer: I wrote this fueled with rage at 11 at night for two weeks straight. Don’t judge. 

Part 1: The Heroine Goes Absolutely Bats**t Crazy

Ophelia. Known throughout time as That Crazy Chick Who Drowned Herself. What a legacy. And Daenerys: She Who Toasted A City Like Marshmallows And Then Was Offed By Her Nephew/Lover. The sad thing is, these are my heroes. What a life. But the ‘Insane Heroine’ trope is prevalent in many forms of media – Dark Phoenix is another example. At first glance, Daenerys and Ophelia have very little in common; Daenerys is a powerful and assertive leader, and Ophelia is a background love interest. The one thing that unites them – they go crazy because of rejected love. While their descent into madness is slightly different; Ophelia is pitiful, Daenerys aggressive, both end up dying indirectly or directly as a result of their lover. Lovely. Let’s talk first about Ophelia – She is rebuffed Hamlet, the original pathetic sad boy, and at the death of her father, goes insane. After several performances of her insanity, she makes her way to a river where she falls (or throws?) herself into the water and drowns. This is witnessed by Gertrude, who then goes on to tell her brother Laertes of her death. It’s a pretty monologue, describing the flowers and plants growing along the riverbank, and how pretty and peaceful she looked as she sank under water and DIED. Remember this. Then my girl Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men etc. etc. Oh boy. Ohhhhhh boy. What can I say except **************** ***** ** **********. Thank you for your time. But she like Ophelia, was scorned by her Boyfriend Who Felt It Was Just A Little Weird That She Was His Aunt. But like, your paternal grandparents and the rest of your great-whatever grandparents were siblings, and your maternal grandparents were cousins so… But I digress. Wait no, this is what it’s all about. I’m back! I un-digress! So, she goes ‘insane’ cause she can’t get laid (don’t we all?) and roasts a whole lot of people and becomes… Hitler for some reason… So, Boyfriend Who Felt It Was Just A Little Weird That She Was His Aunt And Really Wishes He Can Just Catch A Break For Once Is It Really Too Much Too Ask is egged on by Murder Sister™ and Smarty Pants McGee to kill her. Just like my friends! He makes out with her and stabs her (best of both worlds!) and she dies. Very prettily. Remember this. You know. YOU KNOW I’m going to rant about this.

Part 2: Heroic Man Kills The Crazy Lady Like The Feral Dog She Is (But Feels Sad About It) 

Trope as old as time… why is this still fine… surely there’s a better plot deviiiiiice. “Duty is the death of love…” Shut up. Shut up. No, it isn’t. There is a thing called multitasking. You should try it. But let’s recap. Woman goes crazy because of lover/hero of the story rebuffing her because he’s got issues of his own that he doesn’t care to share with her, and close friend/family member is killed. This is when the paths of the Hero diverge. Hamlet does not actually kill Ophelia himself, but his careless actions towards her eventually drive her to suicide. Jon, on the other hand, does kill Daenerys, (no, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed) by a knife to the heart while snogging her. (I’d like to take the opportunity to say that this was ridiculous and yes, I will die mad about it.) What else is similar? Hamlet holds Ophelia’s (or in some adaptations tries to) dead body in his arms as she is about to be buried and Jon holds Daenerys as she dies. They cry and wish it didn’t have to be this way, but really guys, this is Your Fault.

The problem with this trope in particular (and I’m talking about a lot of other examples here, like Dark Phoenix and Wolverine) is that it renders the killer sympathetic. They didn’t want to do this, but it was for the good of humanity, it was a mercy, blah blah blah. Really? Did someone make you kill her? No, a sense of moral justice does not count. Hamlet abuses and humiliates Ophelia then claims he loved her so much that ‘forty thousand brothers could not…” Creepy. I have to say, creepy. And Jon Snow. “Was it right? It doesn’t feel right…” I’m glad you came to that conclusion. I really am. But I knew this from the moment you stuffed that butter knife into her spleen, so honestly you don’t have any business feeling sorry for yourself. If there’s one lesson that Game of Thrones and Shakespeare has taught me, it is:

(not an artist, don’t judge)

Part 3: Someone Died And The Director Said, “Cool But Like… Make It Fashion.”

Do you remember what I told you to remember? Did you? Cause I’m about to RANT.

Throughout time (like 500 years) men have been painting Ophelia’s drowning – the probable suicide of a tormented young woman – and made sure she looked hot while doing it. True, the description of her death is pretty and all, but depictions of her floating just below the surface, a dramatic and lovely pose and flowers strewn around her glamorise her death – something many other people have taken note on – and give her death something of a peaceful, serene departing note, rather than the death of a woman so deranged she did not appear to understand the gravity of her situation as she sank under water. Daenerys suffers a similar case of SDPS (Sexy Dead Person Syndrome). Let’s go through it step by step, shall we? While in an embrace with someone she loves and trusts, she is stabbed in the heart area (I guess?), and she dies. The End. My respect for white men flew off with Drogon. But I haven’t complained properly yet! Compared to other characters, like Myrcella, Joffrey and Catelyn Stark to name a few, her death was very clean. In these other examples, blood runs down their faces or spurts out of their neck in suitably graphic fashion but Daenerys’ case, two thin lines of blood trickle from her nose and mouth. Pretty, pretty. We get a brief shot of a pool of blood on the snow as Drogon picks her up, but blink and you’ll miss it. She looks shocked and confused as she dies, yet the next shot of her face shows her eyes are closed and an almost peaceful expression on her face. Not only this but we don’t actually get any proper Last Words, when she knows she is about to die. She makes no sound at all. She dies prettily and quietly. We also don’t see the knife at all until she is dead, removing any very graphic nature from the scene. A lot of the camera shots are of Jon’s face. This scene is not about Daenerys Targaryen’s death; This is about Jon Snow’s inner turmoil as he selflessly sacrifices the woman he loves to save the rest of the world. Hold up one second I gotta……

I mean, come on. Daenerys is barely mentioned after her death. She, a woman who freed hundreds, no, thousands of slaves and worked hard to reach her goals (albeit a little dragonfire-y) yet she dies without a whisper and is forgotten almost immediately. She becomes less of a central character and more of a catalyst for other men’s rise to power (see Bran the Broken). Wait, what about Sansa, you cry? Well, at this point, she was so out of character I’m striking her from the narrative. Bye bitch 😊 The same goes for most of the other women in the last season. They become plot devices with a little agency and that’s about it. Missandei? Unnecessarily killed to create the “Mad Queen”. Cersei? A compelling villain reduced to a ‘crying girl who wants to be comforted’. Arya? Kills the Night King and then, I dunno. Sansa? Suspicious of Daenerys because of reasons, betrays her brother/cousin because she doesn’t want Daenerys on the throne, then just ‘forgets’ about this whole thing to become Queen in the North. Brienne? Honourable knight left sobbing after her one (k)night stand left her. Another thing that many of these women have in common (the ones who survived to the final episode anyway) is that none of them have romantic endgames despite this being set up. Arya and Gendry have been close friends in Season 2 and 3, then <3  and everyone (i.e. me) thought that you know, they get together and stuff, because that’s what the writers seemed to be setting up. But nope. Arya’s all like ‘I wanna kill the queen’ (which she never does) and throws all that out the window. (But Gendry was totally on that ship at the end). Brienne and Jaime seemed to finally stop eye fricking and then got straight to the actual fricking but nooooo. “I lOvE CeRseI! WE’re bOTh tERrIble PeOple!” And of course, the crowning glory:

And the woman who actually does come out on top is Sansa, a largely unemotional, suspicious woman whose brother is now the king and made her a queen because she’s his sister. Riiiight. That’s totally not nepotism or anything. 

The End: But Boy, Am I Just Beginning

To conclude, the ending of Daenerys Targaryen was largely misogynistic as it painted a brutal and dishonourable murder as an act of mercy and gave the killer (sorry man, I feel like I’m throwing you under the bus here, but it must be said) a sympathetic angle as a heartbroken martyr sacrificing for the greater good. I had high expectations, I really did, but you just took it anD THREW IT IN THE DIRT. Good god. But it’s fine, I have fanfiction anyway.

Thank you for reading this, if you stuck around this far!

[pennypeabody]

Mädchen Amick teases Riverdale directorial debut, and what she learned from David Lynch

Mädchen Amick wasn't planning to direct the Riverdale season 4 finale. But when the coronavirus pandemic halted production across the world, her directorial debut on the CW series moved into the coveted spot.

"You want it to be exciting and climactic and really building its energy, so I wanted to honor that," the actress tells EW of her fateful episode. "There was a little extra pressure."

Amick has been directing since 2015, beginning with one of her daughter Mina Tobias' music videos. And while Riverdale has kept her busy playing Alice Cooper, the uptight, haunted mother of Betty (Lili Reinhart), since 2017, she has long dreamed of stepping behind the camera as well.

She finally got her shot for "Killing Mr. Honey," which was originally intended as the 19th installment of the 22-episode season. Now it will have to stand as the conclusion — and Amick warns that it ends on a cliffhanger.

In the photos above and below, EW has an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at Amick's directing days on Riverdale. And ahead of the episode's May 6 airing, we called up Amick to discuss her experiences calling the shots, what it was like pulling double duty, and how working with David Lynch early in her career inspired her as an auteur.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: How long have you had an itch to direct, and how did this episode come about?

MÄDCHEN AMICK: I moved to L.A. at 16, and got Twin Peaks at 17. I would say around my mid-20s, I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to be more than just an actress and be a storyteller, but so many things in my career made me busy and made me feel like, "Oh, I don’t have time to step behind the camera. I have to keep busy and focused on staying in front of the camera." This was in the mid-'90s, and there were a few female directors — one in particular was Diane Keaton on the original Twin Peaks — that showed me there are women doing this, but [now] there’s a little bit of this movement to get more diversity behind the camera that I benefitted from. I have to give credit to my husband and my daughter. She asked me to direct her music video, and I was honored and jumped right in. I’ve done a few music videos. I’ve directed and produced a docuseries pilot. At the beginning of Riverdale when I did that first thing, I’d started asking around and asking [creator Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa] and [producers] Sarah Schechter and Greg Berlanti. I said, "Hey, guys, I really would love to direct an episode." They were super-supportive and excited. So it was this season that Roberto said, "You want to direct this season?" And I was like, "Yes!"

Riverdale has a very specific, highly stylized aesthetic. Did that make directing easier or harder, especially when it comes to putting your own stamp on the episode?

It was easy for me. I know the show so well, inside and out. I really enjoy the storytelling and the filmmaking part of it. So I know what Roberto likes, as far as the way he likes the story to be told and unfold. That was a great template that was already in place, and I wanted to honor that. Then, I just wanted to elevate it as much as I could and get as strong as performances out of all my fellow actors, which they were great and supportive. And just push the visual boundaries as much as possible. Presenting new ways to shoot scenes, but still staying within the world and the visual look to it, and just hoping that Roberto loved it.

I remember Roberto and I had a conversation: It might’ve been season 2 or season 3, but there was an episode and he said it didn’t feel very inspired. That really gave me an insight into [that] he really wants directors to come on board and love the show and be excited about the show, and then bring an inspirational take to it. That made me feel I had a little bit of freedom to run with it, and he didn’t want a cookie cutter, just make everything the same. It was nice to hear he wanted something that was inspired.

When you directed the episode, it wasn’t meant to be the season finale, but now it is. Is that exciting? Nerve-racking?

Since it's [episode] 19 of 22, you are getting to the end, so there’s usually a lot of climactic things happening. That’s a lot of responsibility, just because I want to get it right. I know we’re getting toward the end, and those last few are really important to start tying up loose ends or building to a cliffhanger. You want it to be exciting and climactic and really building its energy, so I wanted to honor that. There was a little extra pressure.

Did it lead to any last-minute adjustments or changes in the storytelling?

The episode that I shot was the last episode that we completed as far as filming. We were halfway through 20 when production stopped, so I was editing when production stopped. At that point, we didn’t really know that the season would be done. It was a little bit of a holding pattern of, "Are we just pausing and we’ll get back to it, or will our season end a little short?" Now knowing my episode will serve as the finale for this season, obviously we’ll pick up back up next season. They’ll have to adjust some storytelling with what they had planned at the end of this season. As far as my episode, it pretty much stayed intact the way it was written. There was a new layer that came into the story that now serves as an interesting cliffhanger.

You also appear as Alice throughout the episode. What was it like having to pull double duty?

I’m not gonna lie, it was a huge challenge. My brain was so much behind the camera that it was hard for me to switch over to being in character. I could easily slip into Alice, but I could not remember my lines, and I’m usually really good at that. I was really struggling. In one scene in particular, there’s a big confrontation that Alice has with Mr. Honey and she drives the whole scene with all of the parents, and I could not remember it, to the point where my fellow actors were whispering the lines to me to try to help me get through it. Man, it was rough. I know I’ll continue to get better with that with practice, but my brain was not in that space at all. I was full-on thinking of shots and directing my other actors, so it was a big challenge.

This episode is going to have to hold us over for a while; what can you tease about it? Would you say it’s a satisfactory end to the season?

The whole theme of the episode is the big confrontation between the kids and their awful Principal Honey, who’s just been tormenting them the whole season. So lots of really, really fun stuff. There’s a mixture of some fantasy of what they want to do to Mr. Honey and some reality of what ends up happening to Mr. Honey. So that’s the big tease.

The back half of the season angered so many Varchie and Bughead fans, and it doesn’t seem like the same instant regret Archie and Betty have had over previous kisses. What can you say about where those relationships and feelings are headed? Might Riverdale be exploding some of its most beloved relationships?

[Laughs] Why? Why were they upset? No, but don’t they always teeter on that? I think Roberto loves to torture the fans, quite frankly. That’s the fun dynamic, and that is what’s classic to the Archie Comics, is you have this love triangle that’s always been between Archie, Betty, Veronica, and now we’ve thrown in Jughead into the mix. It’s complicated, but we’ll see what ends up happening at the end of senior year and where relationships really go. I know the plan for the next season is we were going to jump forward in time and see where everybody had landed, but I don’t know if that’s gonna adjust now that our season changed a bit.

Both Skeet Ulrich and Marisol Nichols had announced they were leaving at the end of this season, leaving you as the only original Riverdale parent left standing. Now that filming has ended early, does that alter their plans? Will we get any hint of where F.P. and Hermione were originally headed?

As far as the episode I directed, there wasn’t really anything different happening for their characters. It was the same story line going on. But with technically three more episodes they had planned, I’m assuming they had plans. I also know Roberto really loves Skeet and Marisol, and he told me he hopes their characters can come and go from the show depending on everyone’s availability. It’s always funny whenever some of our characters die on the show, it’s like, "Oh, well that guarantees you’ll be on more often." Nobody’s ever really gone on Riverdale.

Does it feel weird to know Alice was going to be the last one left? And what might that mean for her going forward? She seems so happy with FP, it’s really sad to imagine that ending.

I know! They were finally doing good. I don’t know what Roberto has planned, but yeah, poor Alice. She’s really going to be alone now. Maybe she’ll just be ruling the town, who knows? Maybe we need to start a new campaign, Mayor Alice. Obviously not until next year, but just even thinking about coming back next season and having all my O.G. homies not around on a consistent basis, it’s definitely going to be really sad. I’m absolutely going to miss them, but I know that won’t end our friendship.

Earlier in the season, we had evidence Chic and Charles are working together. Will we see any answers there, and what might it mean for Alice to discover her long-lost son has betrayed her once again?

We hadn’t gotten into that for my episode. I think that was in the next few, so she hasn’t experienced the betrayal yet. I know she’s really resilient, but there’s been a lot of betrayal in this woman’s life. I think Alice is going to need some therapy next season.

And not of the Farm variety.

Real, good old-fashioned traditional therapy.

We were setting up for high school graduation to round out this season, and the characters going off to college or other futures. Will we ever get some taste of graduation, and have you any hint of where the kids will end up next year?

No, I don’t. I know the idea was we were going to jump forward in time a little bit to see what they had done. I’m assuming something brings them back to the town of Riverdale.

Can you point to moment or visual choice that you felt defined your identity or artistic choices?

Jughead and Betty have a fantasy going about what they would do to Mr. Honey, and so Betty’s revenge fantasy inspires Jughead to write an essay for college submissions. We get to go into and reenact Jughead’s fantasies and his writing. I wanted to push the envelope in those scenes. You don’t want to go too far out of the way where you’re totally getting rid of reality, but I wanted to visually have some fun with breaking the rules of what you’re supposed to do with shots and how you edit them together. Jughead is all about classic storytelling, so my inspiration was Alfred Hitchcock and Citizen Kane and that kind of stuff. We did a lot of twisted shots and shots that moved in weird [ways], very Vertigo- or Citizen Kane-inspired.

How much were you influenced by the visual artistry of working with David Lynch so early in your career?

He was my mentor from the very beginning. I didn’t really know too much about filmmaking until I worked on Twin Peaks with him. He showed me you think outside the box and do things that feel and look right to you. It wasn’t until I went into the business after Twin Peaks that I realized how different and what an innovator he was. That’s always been in there as my base, to just not be afraid of taking risks. He sent me a really beautiful email my first day of directing, and just reminding me to make sure I did every single thing I want in every single shot, and to have fun.

[johnnys-green-pen]

Quick FAQ

Just a super quick interlude because I’ve actually been asked a couple of things since I’ve started this blog, and I might as well collect all of that in one place. This FAQ can now also be found at https://johnnys-green-pen.tumblr.com/faq

Q: Who are you? A: I usually go by Guardy. I’m 24 years old, German, and have been active in various fandoms since 2006 or thereabout. I’m always at least a decade late to everything and am very much used to my fandoms being half a dozen stragglers, lil’ old me, and a lone tumbleweed in the distance. I’m currently waiting for my BA in English and German studies to be finalized, my studies mainly focused on Literature and Cultural Studies in both subjects, with a big dash of language history in German as well. Wrote my BA thesis on Dracula and Varney the Vampire and the concept of the Other in vampire fiction, so I actually do have something of a background in analyzing media... not that it shows, lol.  (I also have adhd and my short-term memory sucks, so if I ever don’t reply to messages or don’t reblog something that’s obviously relevant/I was tagged in, I probably forgot and will be grateful for a reminder. I don’t think I’ve ever ignored somebody on purpose, but between me being hilariously scatterbrained and tumblr eating asks sometimes, stuff can get lost)

Q: How did you even find this show? A: Saw it mentioned on TV Tropes, though I have no idea what initially made it stand out amidst the thousands of other things I scroll across on there all the time. Decided to give it a try because I’m a sucker for media history, old TV shows, 70′s fashion and vintage tech, and stuck with it because the show’s remarkable in a lot of ways and also has an incredibly lovable bunch of main- and supporting characters. 

Q: How do you do your screencaps? A: I’m using VLC media player for my screencapping; I take several dozen screencaps per episode, liberally using the pause button and going through scenes frame-by-frame if necessary. Only a handful of caps an episode make it to tumblr. My total number of screencaps taken as of S2E17 is 2,788, which averages out to about 96 screencaps an episode; probably around five or six on average actually get posted.  Whenever possible, I use the German DVD box set for my screencaps because they’re slightly higher-res than the single-season American box sets: 720x540px as opposed to 636x480px. My screencaps are generally not edited in any way, just carefully curated.

Q: How do you do your gifs? A: Photoshop CS5; importing video as frames, gently polishing the colors (though I generally try to keep my touch-ups subtle), resizing to either 540p or 268p wide, exporting. I try to keep them under 3 MB so tumblr doesn’t compress them.

Q: How do you do your art? A: Beats me, lol. Okay, more helpfully: Been drawing for a bit over a decade. I’m currently using an XP-Pen Deco 02 graphic tablet, and usually Clip Studio Paint as a software, though I’ve done art using everything from Microsoft Paint to Corel Painter and Photoshop (and, quite frankly, preferred MS Paint). 

Q: Can I use [thing I posted]? A: Probably yes, within the constraints of general fandom rules (so, yknow, don’t try to make money off of them or something? Fandom common sense applies, basically).  Screencaps and Gifs: just take ‘em and spread the fandom love. Credit is always appreciated, mostly because it saves me the guessing game of “are those mine or not”, but definitely is not necessary for those. That also means that you CAN definitely post gif sets using my gifs if, for instance, you want a collection of adorable Johnny expressions instead of gifs sorted by episode.  Analyses and potential fics: Quote as much as you want, though if you want the whole thing, please link to my posts or reblog them instead of reposting (and if you do want to repost the whole thing for some reason, please ask first), and please do credit me for that stuff. Also yes, there will hopefully be fanfic at some point. Art: please ask first - I don’t bite, and I’ll likely say yes, but art takes a lot of work, and I like knowing where it ends up and having some control over it.

Q: Can you do [E!-related thing]? A: Probably! I can definitely do screencaps, analyses, gifs, fanart, fanfic and also all sorts of video editing, and am always open to requests... even though I can’t guarantee anything, and they may take a while to go through, especially if I have to figure out how to make something work first (... one of these days I’ll learn how to make gifs with readable subtitles and get my “to gif” list worked off). 

[sauerland-2001]

Omg I did not mean to delete my recap 🤦🏽‍♀️ why is this new editing thingy so useless.

[theangrypokemaniac]

Contests Part 2/2

6. Loser Jessie

Screechy harpie Jessay has even more of a raw deal than Mavis and Dawn of the Dead.

From the outset I knew she'd never be champion, but she ought to rise above the tiresome berks clogging up procedure.

Sufficient popularity at Pokémon Towers ensured the girls were allotted coverage of all their award ceremonies. They had a moment in the sun.

What has Jessie in comparison?

I can't recall Hoenn, but I don't expect it was much.

Sinnoh however carried naught but a single paltry episode.

This for a main character.

This for someone there from the beginning.

This for an ardent fan favourite.

This for a wench who, should we include all her various mutations, has featured in more installments than either of 'em.

But no, treat Jesseee as worthless, even lower than Dawn's groupies. It's not like anyone watches it for her.

Looking back, it's obvious what they were intending to do come Unova.

What's the score then?

• One paltry Contest on screen.

• A couple happen elsewhere, marked by a few seconds per mention when the script oh-so generously moves away from the thrilling main plot.

It's gotta be the small-town concerns for Jessuhleenuh, nothing major. She deserves no better.

• One won by James, so not hers. Press her inadequacy upon us!

• One obtained as a gesture of pity from Kate Middleton.

And how did that work? What's the good of allowing 'Dawn' entry again?

She'd already qualified. If winning here, that gives her six, therefore there aren't enough Co-ordinators for the culmination.

And when Jessie showed up with a Ribbon recorded as belonging to Dawn, how was she taken as fulfilling the quota?

The slapdash way these Contests are run!

God forbid Jess should be shown as excelling at anything. It must be scraping into the final undeservedly.

Bitch gotta know her place.

7. Bumpkin Jessie

...

Ain't no description I can give that don't rhyme with 'hit', or variations of the theme.

You thought the shafting Jessica got coverage wise was bad enough? Yer ain't heard the 'alf of it.

Sinnoh was a period of peak Moron Team Rocket, where the one surprise was how stupid they could be.

You may remember an early episode when James designed her clothes for the catwalk. She thought it'd complement his work by applying lipstick all across her mug.

Obviously Jessie would do that, clueless as to how make-up functions.

Come on kids, she's thick!

Even at that numskull nadir it's difficult to comprehend anyone choosing this get up without severe duress.

Picture the scene: you debut on stage, before an audience of thousands and television cameras, in an event preoccupied with superficiality.

What do you wear?

• Giant, oversized glasses out of fashion since the Seventies.

• Bootlace tie last worn in the nineteenth century Wild West by a barman serving sarsaparillas.

• Colour scheme of brown and orange, the nation's favourite hues.

• A man's old shirt fraying at the cuffs.

• Voluminous apron dress.

• Massive yellow bows last seen decorating an Easter Egg. Always a winner.

• Heavy, clod-hopping boots.

• PIGTAILS!!!

Even the name is unattractive.

Ah yes, very common for those under six. Unheard of later.

You have reached puberty haven't yer Jessie? I can't tell anymore.

They couldn't get enough of that combination in Cosmo, which is why it's no longer in print.

Not only is Jessie denied success, she's deprived of the chance to be pretty in a realm where nothing but that carries weight.

Worse, given how her face disintegrated, this is the best she's been for five generations.

Yeah, because the inbred milkmaid style is such a good look, eh?

SEXAY!!!

8. So Long, Tsundere

Remember tsunderes? What happened to 'em?

The curse of Pokémon was draining the well of inspiration too quickly, throwing away interesting characters as mere guests.

This is particularly noticeable regarding the ladies. Back then, we got Misty, Jessie, Jessibelle, Cassidy, Aya, Giselle, Tyra, Sabrina, assorted crones Brutella, Nastina and Lacy, plus Joy, Jenny and Dame Ketchum provided parental authority.

How did a series that began with ball-breaking birds like that end up with insipid, glassy-eyed dullards like Zuhreena, Banana Lana, Marsh Mallow and Lilliput?

Ooh, Zuhreena is a pwincess!

Ooh, Banana Lana bwows big bwubbles!

Ooh, Marsh Mallow wuvs phallic waddishes!

Ooh, Lilliput won't pwet wanimals bwecause of Secwet Pain!

Can you imagine such weak specimens finding any place in the anarchic atmosphere of the classics?

It's SO boring!

Where's the punch? Where's the human spirit?

Where's the entertainment gone?

This squishy attitude began in Hoenn. Misty left, Jessie's hair symbolically changed from volcanic red to pink, and Contests introduced a cuddly theme where glitter glue and sequins are top priority.

Every sharp corner, every jagged point has been filed smooth. Now its substance hasn't the hardness to even develop edges, not when it's all cushions and candyfloss, where catching Pokémon rests on them deigning to grant permission, rather than 'avin it out.

Tsunderes, exuding untamed charisma and independence, besides a soupçon of danger, simply don't fit the cardboard box we habit now.

Nor do yanderes, kuuderes, tsuntsuns, or even derederes. It's just nothing but smiley-smiley creeps.

I wouldn't mind any of these tropes as long as there was some sign of colour to be had.

9. The Sacrifice of Misty

Misty bid farewell under the feeble justification that the lack of a longterm goal made her vulnerable to sacking.

Such a line uttered as if her own choice, being beyond them as writers to invent a purpose.

This implied her replacement would have an exciting quest aiming for excellence, something just beyond Misty's capabilities.

What did we get?

Dressing up and collecting Ribbons!

Is that...is that it? Is that the great idea? Is that all the girls are worth?

I lost Misty for THIS?!

Perhaps it makes no difference. By Hoenn they'd rendered her a leaden blandness sucked dry of all that made her special.

Going by the greasy-toothed bastardisation that swanned up in Alola, Misty was simply too wild for the safe, stifling atmosphere of today.

Her departure ensued she remains frozen as a funny, beloved presence, unlike those she left behind.

Now there was a lucky escape, as once the fanny-flapping starts, the bints have it on the brain.

May had Max to beat on the side, but Dawn developed monomania.

Hardly an episode went by without some reference to Contests, or how today's plot spurred her on to the next opportunity.

Yer need help, love!

Rather than Ash's new friend being a fascinating person who so happened to enter vanity projects, the competition defined them to the exclusion of life.

It is but moths drawn to the candle flame waiting to engulf them.

Contests are this world's version of Tom Riddle's diary: they promise sympathy and validation, but they eat your soul.

Like Tumblr.

10. Completely Unoriginal

Seems to me it wasn't so much Misty had no goal, it was more that Contests were the supposedly hot concept wedged into an existing property.

If earlier aspects failed to accommodate the invader, the onus certainly wasn't on the new kid to change. Oh no, stuff it in and chop off whatever gets in the way.

In the eyes of the post-Shudo regime, Misty was too volatile to last, and so had to go.

What idiots.

She's a tsundere. The softer, more feminine side is a defining component.

Would it really have been so problematic to retain her as an entrant? If Jessie can, why not?

Even if failing to fit, so what? Since when was established characterisation a barrier?

Isn't twisting likeable folk into unrecognisable pods the modus operandi of the writers?

That canon is immaterial, and must always give in to whatever fancy they currently have?

Well then, what's the big deal in infantilising Misty to promote it rather than pensioning her off?

Viewers will be more invested in the challenges awaiting a familiar face rather than a stranger.

What reduces the above to the risible is the original Misty and Jessie both participated in the Princess Festival.

All Contests are is that very scenario on repeat and robbed of all meaning.

Think about it:

• Beauty round

• Battle round

• Jessie loses

Same bloody thing.

Not only have I got to suffer this draining spectacle, it's got the nerve to possess not one iota of fresh ideas!

Contests are a low rent rip-off. The Princess Festival had a worthy reward in the shape of one-of-a-kind Dolls.

It'd already been revealed that ordinary Princess Dolls were ruinously expensive, therefore the special Pokémon edition have to be priceless.

What d'yer get for the trouble of a Contest but a bit of plastic tat taped to bargain basement frippery?

And they demand you get five of 'em!

Contests themselves were then resurrected as Showcases, although mercifully slimmed down to only three, with the emptiness ramped up in compensation.

Perhaps ironically, Princess Versus Princess is one of my favourite episodes. I love its critique of female avarice and accurate portrayal of clothing sales as reminiscent of the zombie apocalypse.

I don't mind the Festival as a single adventure, but I may have felt less favourable had it been a constant presence.

Except it isn't the competition at stake. This is a framework to explore Jessie and Misty as people.

Through its device we learn their history and therefore how they came to develop as the girls we know.

The setting serves as an opportunity for both to confront the misery and isolation of their childhoods, with the promise of overcoming that old torment with the balm of victory.

In the final, they aren't so much battling an opponent as fighting to be free of the past.

The tragedy is only one can be granted that reprieve. The other must remain unhappy in the ruins of memory.

It matters, unlike vapid Contests, where posturing is king. What depth can they provide in comparison?

Despite identical content, they are inverse counterparts, with the Festival presented as merely a light affair concealing a rather dark tale of neglect.

Contests however are paraded as this worthy nourishment for body and mind, a major point in one's journey towards enlightenment, when all they really amount to is an organ grinder and his monkey arsing about for the slack-gobbed plebs.

Bread and circuses.

Best of all, Misty won, not some side twat, as it should be.

Note how Jessie dressed: in delicate, vivid robes and golden decoration. The boys thought her beautiful.

Not as a gormless dweeb you'd cross the street to avoid!

And why the need to disguise herself anyway?

The Twerps had no issue with Jessie of Team Rocket joining the fun back then, so what happened?

At least she received the consolation of gaining Lickitung as a friend, with James and Meowth desperate to comfort her.

What do Contests bring? Sod all!

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x14: Rewatch Blog

Hey everybody! Here I am, once again, with a liveblog post for a Once Upon a Time episode! This one’s called “Manhattan” - which strangely enough, I had to look up to make sure of, because I could’ve sworn that 2x15 was the one called “Manhattan”, but when pressed to remember what 2x14′s name was... I could only come up “Also Manhattan...?” which seemed wrong.

Anyway! Let’s settle in and watch Manhattan Part 1...

Hmmm.  Okay, so Rumple’s all “I wanna fight!” and Milah’s like “Oh, no, the war” and this just seems weird to me, all of it. I’m making that Fry face at my screen right now. Not sure if full of shit or full of shit...

Emma asking, “Is this the right place?” AND HE SAID YES. Like, how does he know?! That globe was a hell of a lot more useful here than it was in Neverland. Or did they just toss the globe overboard when they went through the portal? “Welp, we don’t need this plot device anymore.”

Hahaha, Emma. “Well, who doesn’t love a surprise?” Should I start the list, or is someone else gonna do it? Rumple’s face is hilarious. He looks like he’s thinking, “Me, actually. I don’t like a surprise...”

That’s a really boring title card, Once. Really boring.

“Back? From where?” OH MY BABY. Incidentally, I forget he’s in this scene every single time I see this scene, and then I hear his voice and I’m like “OH, MY BABY” like, you know, what literally just happened 2 sentences ago.

Aww... You vengeance-hopped-up bondage bunny, listen to your Dommes and be a good boy <3

CHASE SCENE, IT’S A CHASE SCENE

RUN, EMMA, RUN

CRASH!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH PLOT TWIST

I always did like that plot twist. One of the better ones, I thought.

“I am the only one allowed to be angry here!” Yeah, you tell him, Emma.

This face is great:

Kinda sums up the entire scene, doesn’t it?

I love the subtle AND COMPLETELY OBVIOUS change in Gold and Henry’s interactions now that the audience is thinking, “Oh, wait... If his dad is... and his son is... OH MY GOD.” A gentle approach as always, show.

WHY WOULD HE NEED AN ENTIRE TYPEWRITER IN A FANCY WOODEN BOX WITH A SINGLE SHEET OF PAPER THAT SAYS “I KNOW YOU’RE BAELFIRE” ON IT? HOW FUCKING EXTRA CAN YOU BE?!

Pictured Above: THE LITERAL HEIGHT OF FUCKING EXTRANESS

“...because Pinocchio told you to?!?!” One of the best lines ever XD

Oh, come on, Neal. Man up for once and just talk to your father. Geez.

Like, I know he’s pissed that his dad didn’t follow him into the portal, but all of this hiding and nonsense? Acting like he’s terrified of the man? Like, did I miss the part where Rumple EVER presented an actual threat to Baelfire? Because I don’t remember that. Honestly, if I’m forgetting something from S1 where Rumple threatened or harmed his son, someone please remind me. Shitty dad? Sure. Dropped the ball? Definitely. Worth running and hiding from for fucking centuries? You’re a goddamn pansy, Neal.

“Rumplestiltskin...” Oh, that’s not a creepy voice at all.

Oh, that’s not a creepy girl at all.

Oh, that wasn’t a creepy scene at all.

Can I go home now?

“The truth about your parents - Emma, you of all people should know how important that is.” Umm... yeah. That’s a really good point.

“Are you sure this is about protecting Henry... and not yourself?” Aw, Snow... Such good advice in this phone call. Also, nice sweater. Very soft.

Ahhh... And good acting by Jen in here, too.

AW, GEEZ, EMMA, SNOW JUST GAVE YOU SOME GREAT ADVICE AND NOW YOU’RE JUST GONNA IGNORE IT ALL. GOSH DARN IT.

Oh, look. It’s the mild-mannered mayor here to visit the amnesia-stricken woman in the hospital. There’s no way this could go badly!

Umm... Regina, I love you and I love your magical ways, but you could’ve just, like, rifled through her purse. “Magic always comes with a price” but apparently not if you just want to wave some objects through the air instead of, like, reaching in and moving shit around like a normal person. That shit’s free.

Like, there is just no reason for this. It’s pointless. It’s weird.

Library scene. One of my favorites :D Well, not this one. The next one.

Hahaha, this “touching” mother daughter moment is so weird and dysfunctional and borderline creepy. I love it.

Seriously, Hook, you’re so fucking impatient. Just cool your heels, bro.

Hey, Gold, here’s an idea. Maybe when you’re hiding your dagger somewhere, and your arch nemesis is a pirate, maybe don’t leave a pirate map to where it’s hidden for that pirate to find and follow. I mean, you might as well have left it in a toolbox in the garden she- Nevermind. Let’s not talk about this.

Emma: Don’t do this. There are things called laws. Henry: I’ll be lookout. :D

“I don’t think he’s listening.” Henry is brilliant in this episode.

YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, NEAL. You finally manned up. Must've found some balls in the alley and tried ‘em on for size.

Aw, geez. I’m just... Wow. I really shouldn’t say anything about this whole scene, but... Yeah. Wow. I honestly can’t like Milah after some of the stuff she says in this scene. Sorry, guys. Like, she is literally telling her husband and the father of her child that the kid would’ve been better off if he was dead - and not just once, but, like... It’s like she’s engaging in a single-person competition to see who can find as many different ways as possible to say the same terrible thing over and over again, and it somehow manages to sound worse every time.

AHHHHH HIGH DRAMA!!!

I really do like everything about this scene with Emma and Neal and Gold and Henry and everyone trying to figure things out and/or hide things and/or... Oops, now it’s all out in the open and we’re all a big happy family fucked.

Ugh. Now it’s Greg. I really, really don’t care about Greg. At all.

Regina, goddammit, I told you to just rifle through that purse like a normal person. SEE what happens when you don’t listen to me?!

Actually, I totally forgot about this moment entirely, and now I’m laughing... Leave it to the show to put a “Why the fuck would you do this in this way?” moment into the show... that turns into a convoluted plot twist.

Son, I am disappoint totally not surprised, actually.

That map really DOES look like a child’s scribbles, though.

HOOK, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO DO WITH THAT... keyring? scissors? dohickey? I don’t know. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it’s time for one of my favorite things ever!!!!

SUPER CASUAL VIOLENCE!!!

They’re both just so... so casual... and so flippant... and so... oh gosh, hahaha. He’s all upset and angry and foaming at the mouth, and Cora’s just like ~fling~! and LOOK AT THAT FUCKER FLY The violence is so ultra super casual and amazing, hahaha. And then they just walk off like Mean Girls: Storybrooke Edition and I fucking love them and I’d better rewind and watch it again. Hold on a second, guys.

ARE THOSE FUCKING TONGS, THOUGH?! why?

The books falling over like dominoes, haha, they always make me laugh. Better rewind again. I love this shit so much.

Old-fashioned compass, I guess? Some kind of... dohickey? I’m gonna go with dohickey, guys. I mean, it looks like a dohickey to me. Still, like, dafuq you think you’re going to do with that dohickey against two ladies with magic, boo? You adorable fucking idiot. IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SHARP EDGE.

WHOOP, THERE HE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES

See, there. Bae had no fucking reason to be running and hiding from Rumple for fucking centuries. He just handled him just fine right there. 

“Or what you did to me.” Valid point, Emma. Well made and- ARE YOU FUCKING LAUGHING, YOU LITTLE SHIT?!? Where’d that fucking dohickey go?! YOU ARE SO GETTING RUBBED, YOUNG MAN.

Well, what do you know? The seer who said the future was hard to discern clearly has now given you her powers... AND YOU’VE LEARNED THAT THE FUTURE IS HARD TO DISCERN CLEARLY. Shocked. I am shocked.

PLOT TWIST. The boy will be his undoing!!! Except... umm... I mean... he kinda never was, though? So, I mean, I don’t... uh...

Aw, fuck it. Let’s rewind and watch the super casual violence again.

WHEEEEEEEEE LOOKIT HIM FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[stan-and-the-newbie]

A kpop newbie’s reaction to BLACKPINK

Alexa: bold Alex: italic

today you are reacting to... BlackPink!

o damn, are you sure this band isn’t your favourite?

pFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-  ok, good one, anyway this is them :3

((she tried sending me a picture but it didn’t work))

awh come oN

~ technical difficulties, please stand by ~

dfgfd shhhHhhHhH i know wot im doin smdh. this is alreaDY GOING BADLY

...should i just google them?

its okay, i got it. this is them

o damn. they're very pretty, but that was to be expected

yep.. so what concept do you think they have? lol as if it isnt obvious

idk man three of them are giving me death glares. uhh black? and pink?

tbh,,,,,they have the girl crush concept, like, theyre all badass and stuff

oh, well that’s..  interesting

i cant believe im letting you edit this post..  anyway, opinion on them? they dont look that similar, thank god

well the red-haired one i like the most so far since she doesn't look like she wants to choke me (and not in the kinky way)

fgjgfghj yes i see

the one wearing the 2b outfit is probably your goth waifu

omf

and the pink(TM) one looks like she's the sugar mommy of the group

m o o d

i'm guessing she's the leader? it could just be the thanos throne

they dont really have a leader..  this is also them

ah, lovely, a picture where they don't look like they want to murder me

yes, finally

a bunch of talented asian cuties, wot is new

to be honesT. i'll start with the first one from the second picture

alrighty

her stage name is rose

the first two from left to right are the prettiest imo

o rlly

i'm gonna get lynched alive for saying that, aren’t i

so, opinion?

she's uhhh 23? and a singer, and she's the goofy one

well youre right about her being a singer..  shes 21, and yes, she is pretty goofy. she is fluent in english because she is australian

n i c e

this is her kickin everyone's ass 

((Then she showed me this video))

i-

skinny legend

and they said infinity war was the most ambitious crossover... asian idols wearing brazilian carnival outfits as some dude sings that song from shrek 2? sign me tf up

LMAOO gee her voice still gives me chills rose step on me

alexa that's lewd, let us move on swiftly

sorry i just like her shes also a good dancer

i'm guessing she's gonna be my favourite

o

english speaking idols get bonus points, and she seems to excel at everything else, so...

yes, she is amazing. oh, she also cried over her fish's death

;-; oof

:( bless her anyway, you have any questions?

nop, she's gucci, let us proceed

right, the next one is jisoo

she's a qt ;; she looks like a dork i want to shake her hand and give her a hug

this is her smiling

i-

see thats the heart smile

is she the radiance? because my retinas are burned

SDFGFDSADFG MOOD

literally no one is gonna get that joke

wat if they do?

then they are people of culture

opinion?

uhh, she is the soft one, and.. she's short because why not, and she's 22 and she sings ;; 

o- i mean, she isnt really tall, but she isnt that short. yes, she is a singer, the oldest, 23 y/o and she is a goofball, a derp. very entertaining tbh

she looks adorable and has a cute name and is a goofy dork god bless

all of them are good at english but her. but she Tries- and is confused.  

o o f

tis a baby

she deserves all the hugs

she isnt the best dancer, but shes a Great singer, and very stable on stage

their hair alexa their hair is so fucking aesthetic

i KnoW

i am in pain, pack your dictionary we're moving to korea

fuck yeaH the next one is lisa

abs of JUSTICE

hot diggidy she's the sass queen, and she's uh..  23, and a rapper

oh, this is also her

she is also 21, and yes, a rapper!! a very swaggy one

jackpot

but shes a whole cutie, and the youngest

awh ;;

and she gets embarrassed easily

i see, so she's the tsundere of the group

she is from thailand, and i think shes fluent in four languages, including english

nice, man

she is also an Amazing dancer

n i c e ,  m a n

shes kinda my wife but theyre all my bias so i cannot decide it is Too Hard

i only have one bias  u-u

ofc u do

remember to only have one waifu alexa, too many waifu will ruin your laifu

a baby

they’re all cuties this is fucking illegal

it  i s do you have any question about baby lalisa over there :(

so far this is a very solid kpop band

o

lots of english speakers, cute dorks and pure babies everywhere

;-; yes

it has my seal of approval

n i c e the last member is jennie

o damn. jennie? j-just jennie?

just jennie. she doesn’t need anything else

is that an ACDC shirt

apparently

why do they all look so good and fashionable, and both glamorous and cute and pure at the same time, alexa the space-time continuum shouldn't allow this

pffft opinion?

hmm.. she's both a rapper and a singer, and uhh..  she's the second sassiest, but also a goof, and she's 23. I'LL STICK WITH MY 23 also damn nice thighs

she does have amazing thighs tbh.. WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW SHES ALSO A RAPPER AND A SINGER

well usually in smaller kpop bands one of them does the support for both singing and rap..r-right?

,,,,,,,,,now that you say it

it finally happened folks, i taught alexa something about kpop

badass

THEY'RE ALL SO PURE, FUCC

THEY ARE, they have the badass girl crush concept, BUT THEYRE ALL FUCKIN CUTIES IRL also, take this

my poor heart

jennie is so smol ;; jennie is the smolest

i'm sorry, i was distracted by the thicc

mood tbh she is also fluent in english lmao

pack your shiT ALEXA WE'RE GOING TO KOREA

y ES theyre all really cute and entertaining, they dont go over the top, but theyre still pretty funny - as funny as a girl group can be anyway

pfft i find all of them entertaining tbh. show me some songs fam 

o, alrighty. this is a dance practice, it was the first thing that was released and everyone went nuts

((Then she showed me the dance practice video))

lisa is the one with shorts, jennie has the cap, rose is the one with braids and the last one is jenniejisoo

oof, a bit too edgy for my taste, sorry. but the routine is great!

well, they were kinda made to be badass

yeah, i figured

also, a little side note

o?

their company is one of the biggest companies out there, but theyre known for their shitty management, as in, they dont really give idols many comebacks or promotions, so they dont have many songs;; even tho they debuted two years ago

well, that kinda sucks

yep..

i imagine this business is pretty finicky behind the scenes. i guess it can’t be all sugar and glitter all the time

true..  anyway, this is is one of the two songs in their debut ep lol 

((Then she showed me “Whistle”))

also, may i add, their mvs are hella aesthetic

they seem to be..  not a fan of the super edgy american-ish songs though

yeh, their second ep was better. this is from the second ep

((Then she showed me “Playing With Fire”))

pyromaniac title, piano in the first second. this one's gon' be gud

yeah, this one was definitely better - well, not objectively, just imo 

yeah then theres this beautiful beautiful song 

((Then she showed me “Stay”))

that title gives me the hibby jibbies

y e p p

nvm i saw a mcdonalds in the background and now i'm chuckling

sdfdsdfg honestly the mv is So Pretty

ALEXA I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR SAD TIMES

shhh its a nice lil song just dont read the lyrics lmao

...i'm reading the lyrics now I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BADASS GROUP WHAT IS THIS

the chorus is so nice tho, with the claps

it is..  well, that was mildly depressing

at the end they hold hands and laugh and jump around in a circle in the mv and its just..  i rlly like the mv and the filter is very pretty

a e s t h e t i c

anyway, back to badass

((Then she showed me “Ddu-du Ddu-du”...?))

this is their most recent release, this time with a mini album

and i see thanos’s throne is back

y eS

these sets look expensive as fucc.. is that a fennec fox?

maybe..

and the evil parrot from rio? what is this, a crossover episode?

THE MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER

first we had the shrek 2 song, now this they gon' hit me with dat turu turu du alexa halp meh  

i k r wat u gon do

is that.. a sparkly tank?

y ES jennie is an icon

i feel like i've ascended

tbh all these things were so unnecessary yet they did it anyway

well i certainly don’t regret it

that breakdown at the end is kinda cheap, but i think the diamond tank made up for it

definitely

sdfvbvGJHGthere are two mvs left

oh, just.. just two?

y es

i feel bad for them ;; did u say it's been two years

yeah..

this is so r00d

yes, always feel bad for yg artists

what’s yg?

its a company - their company

ah, i see

their shitty company

oof

here's their debut song (which i dont really like but Oh Well.)

((Then she showed me “Boombaya”..? who the hell comes up with these names?))

well, in all fairness if they're one of the biggest they probably have a lot of bands to manage

not really..  they had very successful bands though, so that kinda paved the way for the ones nowadays

ALEXA THESE FUCKING LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

ASDFGBFVDS MOOD CLICK CLACK BADDABING BADDABOOM QUEEN

"i'm so hot i need a fan i don't want a boy i need a man" BISH YOU'RE A 5 FOOT 20-SOMETHING ASIAN IDOL CHILL

hjkjhghj shhHHH

this is a whole drugtrip

it iS

are those..  black leather biker pants...  mixed with blue jeans? this is some next level shit alexa i can't handle this

y ES fashion icon

why do coke when you can watch this for free and legally?

ikr theres one last mv, and its better, trust me

..alright...

theyre cute in this one

((Then she showed me “As If It’s Your Last”))

jisoo is the one with the heart magnet and i love her

awh ;; man these titles are edgier than 13 year old me

oh come on, its a love song

that dancing, it's s-so lewd  <-<;;

it iS oh, i forgot lisa's rap is in english

n o i c e i didn't know jennie had her own ice cream business

girl is going places okay but 1:36

what about it?

th-the cotton candy part

pfff

sorry i remember the first time and saw it and was like fukc thas cute

well, it was. it was pure ;;

alright, final thoughts?

well, they're a bunch of cute and talented dorks, but that ain't nothing new. either way, 10/10 for the lewd dancing and the fact that they speak english. give dem more comebacks, fam

they have lewder choreos, but thats for another day. justice4blackpinkcomeback edition

yeS, let’s make a petition

Heya peeps, it’s a boii mod Alex here. This was the first time I put together a Reaction Wednesday post, so uh.. yeah...  I think it turned out pretty good! But seriously, a lot of work goes into these, even though it may not seem like it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! See you next week!

[jerepars]

The Con Extended Chapter Notes

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here. Direct link to this chapter is here.

> “So, Betty, do you get to be in The Nutcracker?”

> Sabrina. That was her name. The person who had asked the question. Jughead’s new…friend. Actually, she’d kindly informed us that we could call her Sab. Since we all had little nicknames, she’d said it only made sense for her to fit in and take one on, too. I didn’t agree. I didn’t think it made any sense. But maybe I was just being petty.

The reason I went with Sab over Brina is actually because of the Valentine's Day episode from the first season of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, 1x17. It's what Harvey writes on her valentine and calls out to her down the hall as she's walking away (1:18 to 1:59):

Sidenote: how freaking 90's heartthrob adorable is Harvey in this?!

> Not even halfway through the double date with Sabrina, Jughead, Archie, and myself—the one Jughead had suggested about two weeks prior—and I hated her for being completely nice and friendly towards me. She was petite with short platinum blonde hair and light blue eyes. Pint-sized and cute as a button with her hipster fashion sense: a cropped top paired with acid wash high-waisted shorts, knee-high socks, and Hunter booties. If she was any indication of Jughead’s type, well, my cause was useless.

I keep forgetting to mention that I went with the current calendar year for this story. I plotted all the chapters on a calendar and everything. The specific days of the week that Betty has mentioned and will mention are because I know the exact date that all of this allegedly happens. I think showing it now might give some spoilers, but maybe I can post the calendar at the end of the story?

> “Do you expect to have a big role?” Sabrina asked. “Like Clara or the Sugar Plum Fairy?”

> I chuckled. “No. One of students from the Joffrey Academy is usually chosen to be Clara and the Sugar Plum Fairy is always a principal dancer. I’ve been Clara—or Marie, in Joffrey’s case—before when I was younger, as a student. I’ve been one of the Snowflakes the last two years. The Joffrey premiered a new version of The Nutcracker last season though, and Marie is a principal role now, too. It’s incredible. It’s very relatable. Very Chicago, actually.”

Depending on the production of The Nutcracker you go to see, the main female character's name may be Clara, Marie, Maria, or Masha. For the Joffrey Ballet, it's Marie. They put on a brand new production of The Nutracker (you can see The Waltz of the Snowflakes, the role Betty mentions that she's had, a few times in this video) in December of 2016, set in Chicago at the 1893 World's Fair, different from the version previously performed.

I thought it would be good for The Nucracker to be brought up in this chapter, because it is a popular ballet, hence Sabrina knowing it, but I didn't want to get into a whole ton of detail. We haven't even gotten to opening night of Giselle in the story yet! The Nutcracker will definitely come back up again later though.

> Archie shrugged and returned to the task in front of him, snapping small plastic gear pieces into place. Rather than being out on the town or on a boring and awkward dinner date, we were in the workshop area of a hobbyist store in Lakeview that sold kits and parts to make toy robots. The store was closed but we’d come in for a two-hour stretch that was called Robot Date Night, where people on dates spent the evening constructing toy robots, drinking local beer, and eating Chicago Mix popcorn, all while a robot-themed movie was projected on the workshop’s side wall to complete the ambience.

Of course the robot store is real! It's called Robot City Workshop and they hold Robot Date Night every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I wanted the double date crew to actually be doing something and not just on a simple dinner date. I thought this was good execution of Archie's plan, because it is too intimate, but how can Jughead complain about popcorn and 2001: A Space Odyssey?

In case you didn't know, "Chicago Mix" popcorn is a mix of caramel popcorn and cheddar popcorn, most easily acquired in Chicago at a Garrett shop. Garrett popcorn doesn't taste like any old bagged popcorn you'd buy at the grocery store though. You can just be an innocent person walking down the street, but when you get a whiff of that stuff, it's hard to resist, touristy as it may be.

> When Archie was done enclosing the wires of the motor in between two small yellow plastic pieces, I handed him the connector to the first piece we’d put together, the battery module. If we’d assembled the motor properly, hooking it up to the battery would make one of the metal rods in our gearbox spin. When our robot was complete and fully functional, it would be an ugly little thing that did nothing more than roll around on a flat surface.

Robot City Workshop has a YouTube page with some instructional build guides for the robots that they sell. You know I was all over that. I chose the EM4 robot kit for Betty and Archie and then I watched this video (and others) a dozen times and laughed each time, because for this chapter, that's what my research led me to, watching instructional robot building videos.

The video of the robot being built is only 13 minutes long but keep in mind that it is edited. In real time, for people on a date who actually have to read the instructions and get all the little pieces together, I think it would take much longer.

I doubt that anyone would watch this for fun, but all of the things that Betty describes are from the video, basically.

> “I didn’t think you were a monstrosity kind of girl, Betty,” Jughead piped up, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

> He was talking about the robot that Archie and I were building. With the kit we’d chosen, four different modes were possible, and we were configuring the ‘beast’ mode.

> “Ooh, that’s where you’re wrong, Jughead Jones,” I responded with a smug smile. “I’m all about the beast within.”

You didn't think I chose that robot kit on a whim, did you? Had to find a way to get that dialogue from the Bijou scene in 1x10 in there somehow.

> His vehicle, a forest green Jeep Cherokee from the early 2000’s, was just across the street from the entrance. It was a Thursday night in Lakeview and metered parking had been plenty when we’d arrived. As it got later, cars began to line up all along both sides of the street; the toy store was within walking distance of Wrigley Field, and locals who knew the neighborhood were always trying to keep their parking costs down when they went to Cubs games. A smirk appeared on Archie’s face as he unlocked the doors with the press of a button on his keychain.

I've plunged to new, weird depths and have started taking screenshots of Google Maps because...because. Just because.

It's 0.6 miles from the area of the store to Wrigley Field, so a 10-15 minute walk, give or take. I checked, and yes, there was a Cubs game on this particular Thursday night that I chose.

> Through my counseling sessions with Dr. Donahue, I’d gotten the solid advice that comparing myself to other girls and thinking of them as my competition was a surefire way to plant doubts into my self-confidence. Her advice went not just for ballet, but the other parts of my life, too. One of the framed quotes on her walls was actually sound advice from a different kind of doctor, Dr. Seuss: Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.

The popular framed quote is from the Dr. Seuss book Happy Birthday to You!

> We had arrived before Jughead and Sabrina at Archie’s insistence. He’d said that seating arrangements were important, because there would be other couples, too, and it wouldn’t be a proper double date if the four of us weren’t sitting around the workbench together. I’d met up with Archie at his apartment, met his roommate, and then we’d driven to the workshop together. I’d even asked what the point of him driving was when the place was only one neighborhood down from where he lived, but that had just been explained by the cellphone ploy. The cellphone ploy itself still needed clarification though.

Another map picture for you. In the second chapter, it was mentioned that Archie lives in Roscoe Village. It's not far from the location of their date:

> The workshop area was in the back of the store. There were big windows at the front of the store, with the blinds open, but all of the display cases and shelves stacked with robot fanfare and supplies obstructed the view from inside to outside. Archie was right though, there was one clear sightline from the workshop through a pathway between shelves that led to the outside: through the tinted full glass panel of the door. And it was from the spot where Jughead was sitting.

There was like a store tour video of the workshop. Clearly, I watched it several times to look for the sightlines. It's very brief in the video, but at around 0:14, you can see the door behind the guy in the distance, right before he leans on the workshop. Jughead would have to be sitting where he's standing to see the kiss. There's also a view of the path that leads to the door around 0:33-0:35.

Why did I spend time looking this up? What am I doing with my life? LOL.

> Like a lot of things about Archie, kissing him was nice. It wasn’t sloppy or suffocating. It wasn’t something to write home about but it wasn’t a chore either. And unsurprisingly, it did nothing to conflict with my emotions, of who I really wanted to be kissing. The only bad thing about it was that it made me feel like I was sixteen again. I felt a little bit tingly after. Kissing a very cute Archie Andrews wasn’t anything to complain about. No wonder he was such a ladies’ man. He was a great kisser.

With this part of the chapter being all about robots, I had to give a shout out to one of my favorite albums ever, The Get Up Kids' Something to Write Home About and the beautiful album art.

A song I listened to a lot while writing this is "Action & Action". I feel like it's fitting when we get to the very end of the chapter, where Betty finds herself suspicious of Jughead and questions if what they're doing is just the same silly thing.

> “Oh, you two.” Sabrina looked up from two plastic pieces she was attaching and smiled sweetly at us. The robot she and Jughead had chosen to build was even simpler than the model Archie and I had chosen. They were sitting close together for the construction of their ‘bubble bot’ robot, too, but Jughead had warned us all that he wasn’t as interested in building anything as he was in the cinematography that was projected against the wall.

Here's the much simpler instructional video for the bubble bot robot.

I bet the robots for Robot Date Night are actually more complicated than these kits for kids and I'm dumbing it down for them (aka Archie) too much. Whoops.

> “Are you about to head out?” Jughead asked.

> “No,” I answered as I tied off the second braid. “I haven’t eaten yet.”

> That brought a tiny smirk to his face, faint traces of almost-dimples at the corners of his mouth. In the reflection of the mirror, I saw him step toward the kitchen. “Perfect. Neither have I. Come on, let’s get breakfast. I’ll give you a lift.”

> I rolled my eyes, knowing the undertone of an ulterior motive. “You just want an excuse to take your motorcycle for a ride on the Kennedy into the Loop, don’t you?”

The local expressways that travel into downtown Chicago are commonly referred to by name rather than number: Edens (north), Kennedy (northwest), Dan Ryan (south), Eisenhower (west).

> All my built up confidence evaporated like the gas fumes. I was left with only my nervous energy. When Jughead looked back over his shoulder at me, the way the helmet framed his face, with the visor still up, gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. The blue of his eyes was so deep and his cheekbones were so architectural.

In the notes for one of the previous chapters, I said that I'd been drawing a lot of inspiration from I Am the Avalanche's self-titled album. In "Symphony" there's a verse that goes and I’m a mile away, from never turning around and living my life, rolling on gas fumes. So that's where the gas fumes sentence came from.

> A headache quickly formed in my temple before we even hit the circle interchange to Congress Parkway. The combination of Jughead driving so fast, the bite and sting of the wind, being wrapped around his leather-clad back, and my natural state of being uncomfortable around him made me feel queasy. I was happy to escape the back of the motorcycle when he pulled into a parking garage on the corner of Randolph and Wabash, a short walk to the place he’d chosen for breakfast inside Prudential Plaza, just across the street from Millennium Park. It was a chain diner, so it was nothing like Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe, but I gathered that Jughead chose it because it was close to where we both needed to be after breakfast.

There's a whole lot of Loop in this paragraph. The circle interchange, officially the Jane Byrne Interchange is a terrible, terrible place to be stuck in traffic. Good thing they were on a motorcycle.

There really is a parking lot on Randolph and Wabash, though it seems it's called Wabash-Randolph instead.

I couldn't fit them into a map screenshot nicely, but Wildberry Pancakes & Cafe, which is inside Prudential Plaza (across the street from Millennium Park), is less than a mile from both Joffrey Tower and SAIC.

> “You should make sure you’re really the one in control,” Jughead went on. “Don’t underestimate him or anyone else. You don’t want to be a flame’s lick away from burning yourself and not even know it.”

Back to I Am the Avalanche's "Symphony": You're a flame's lick away, from burning yourself. But we're not scared, 'cause you always bounce back. It seemed like something Jughead would say to me. But that's just my opinion.

[woozapooza]

thoughts, feelings, and questions about Wynonna Earp 2x08

Have I mentioned that I love this show? Therefore it is no surprise that I loved this episode, but I also found it more confusing than the average episode. I've now watched it twice and read a recap, though I still have a few questions.

The whole time travel thing (yeah yeah I know it wasn’t technically time travel, I don’t care) was AWESOME!!! I’m so glad the show found another opportunity to depict Ye Olde West because who doesn’t love that aesthetic? And we got to see Doc in his old-fashioned clothes again! I missed that Look! God, he was such a douche back then, and I love it. It’s too bad we didn’t get to see Wyatt again. I really enjoyed his scenes in s1. As for Bobo del Svane, I found him 10x more interesting as a potential hero than I ever did as a villain. I hope the show is careful about how much redemption they give him, since he was unquestionably a bad dude in s1, but they have an opportunity to explore his duality. I never saw it coming that he was friends with Wyatt. Or that he was a nerd. He went from being a pretty one-dimensional antagonist in s1 (IMO) to a once decent dude who lost his soul through years of torment. He went from loving Wyatt so much he died to help him (what a plot twist—he gave Wyatt permission to shoot him!) and “would ride to hell and back for him” to being the enemy of his descendants as well as a general creep/jerk. I don’t think this was spelled out specifically but it’s got to hurt to know that by the very action of helping Wyatt, he doomed himself to be a perennial target for Peacemaker. I bet s1 looks really different in light of this ep. I'd like to rewatch and observe Bobo’s attitude toward the Earps.

Similarly, I’m sure the s1 interactions between Bobo and Doc look different in light of their rivalry in this ep. Robert is still faithful to Wyatt whereas Doc has become useless, yet Robert still feels second to Doc. Well, okay, Robert is second to Doc. Wyatt made that clear by abandoning the former to look for the latter. So Robert does the classy thing and leaves Doc in the well so that the friends can’t be reunited. I’m sure Wyatt would be THRILLED with you for that, dude. The themes of jealousy, rivalry, and inferiority come up a lot on this show, I’ve noticed. First of all, there’s romantic jealousy—Doc and Dolls have both experienced it, as has Rosita, apparently. But also: Wynonna has dealt with being the second-choice heir. Waverly has dealt with not being the heir at all and with her father preferring her sisters. Nicole has dealt with feeling excluded from the Black Badge team. Doc won the contest for Dude You Target If You Want to Hurt Wyatt Earp, sure, but that’s its own kind of second best. He didn’t even get the dignity of suffering for something he himself did; instead, his suffering was just part of Wyatt’s punishment. (“This whole time, you thought it was personal, but it’s always been about the alpha dog. You’re a good sidekick, dear Doc, but you’ll never be a hero.” That scene was great.) I don’t really know what conclusion to draw, just that I find this theme endlessly interesting and I hope it keeps popping up. It’s very relevant for Waverly this season what with her quest for her provenance.

Speaking of which, NOT COOL, NICOLE. But I’m happy because Nicole hasn’t really been flawed until now. It’s about time she got a story arc that ends in her growing as a person.

I don’t have smart things to say about Dolls and Wynonna. All I can do is yell things that happened. DOLLS DEFROSTED HIMSELF BY REMEMBERING WYNONNA. HE GOES TO FIGHT THE WIDOWS TO SAVE HER. THEY SNUGGLED IN BED ALL DOMESTIC. WTF I DON’T HAVE WORDS

The main thing I still don’t understand is, what outcome did Constance want when she brought Robert to the well? She wanted both the ring and Doc to stay in the well, right? The ring because screw you, Clootie, and Doc because screw you, Wyatt. And she was confident that Robert’s jealousy would dissuade him from rescuing Doc. But what if Robert had managed to save the ring and leave Doc down there? Would she have used the ring to save Robert and thrown it back down the well? What if Robert had saved Doc? Would she have pushed him back in? Was the point of the whole thing just to score some kind of victory over Robert? What was her intention?

Another question: Why did the Widows freeze Dolls but then go eat Juan Carlo? Do they just not like the taste of dragon?

I was really suspicious of Rosita the first time I watched, but now I think it’s possible she really was just being nice...though she undoubtedly has secrets.

“Thanks for nothing, J.C. Not you. Other one.”

EDIT: I forgot to mention—it goes to show how much I love this show that I didn’t even notice that Jeremy hadn’t been in the episode until it was over. Like, obviously it’s tragic that we missed out on him this week, but there was so much other good stuff happening, I never once wondered where he was.

[comicteaparty]

January 31st, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 31st, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Apricot Cookie(s)! by Louis Lloyd-Judson.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Apricot Cookie(s)! by Louis Lloyd-Judson~! (https://apricotcookies.net/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Superjustinbros

Hello!

RebelVampire

hey super~!

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Hi everyone This is late into the comic, but I loved the reveal of Apricot's family -- how it was treated as normal and matter-of-fact in-universe, because for her it is, even though it's a real Wham Moment for the readers.

Superjustinbros

Glad to be here!

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

(And that's gotta be the reason why she can't transform properly, right?)(edited)

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1265858 This oen gave me a good chuckle

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Yeah, I love all the self-aware genre jokes.

RebelVampire

i agree with erin. my favorite scene is when we find out that apricot's secret is that shes the princess of darkness. because i did not expect the secret reveal right then, and just like the entire process as things evolved was personally comical for me. cause first her dad shows up in this weird attire, then grandma darkness, then the helmet thing, and then just more from there. like it was a bunch of puzzle pieces all falling into place. if i was a cartoon character thats when a lightbulb and exclamation point wouldve appeared over my head.

Superjustinbros

the genral humor of the comic is top notch

and how it plays with stereotypes

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Ooh, it was totally unexpected. And most people would consider this as a possible reason why she can't transform! But it's perfectly in-character for her that she never spoiled the reveal by even thinking about it.

She's such a ditz, I love her.

RebelVampire

yeah. the humor of the comic is definitely top notch. this, imo at least, is parody done right. because its walking that fine line between mocking the tropes but having them and loving them anyway.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Definitely.

RebelVampire

i also love the reveal cause suddenly this page made more sense https://tapas.io/episode/274726

and i love that sneaky foreshadowing i didnt mark in my mind as sneaky foreshadowing

Superjustinbros

Yes^(edited)

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Ooh, nice.

RebelVampire

but yeah, i definitely think everything played out in a natural way for apricot. cause of course she denies all the things. cause her family doesnt fit into her tragic back story

which btw i love when shes talking about that and her dad is just sitting there reading the newspaper

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

A+ introduction there.

mathtans

I like how it all clicked together too. Though I think my favourite moment was on this page: https://apricotcookies.net/5/31 ... Not only a BTTF reference at the sake of fashion but also a callback to an earlier joke that I hadn't expected.

Superjustinbros

Time traveling movie references in a reference to a past joke. Genius(edited)

mathtans

Yeah, it's interesting the stuff in the background, not just that bit with her dad, but her sister in the background of one shot, and I was like, hmmmm wait? Then it all gets explained.

Missed the "An" bit though.

RebelVampire

yes. i love that this joke made a comeback. like this is the sort of attention to detail i love and that i think really makes the comic's humor top notch.

mathtans

Speaking of which, I will say, not impressed by the fart humour. I feel like it's (comic's) too clever to need to reach for the bottom shelf there. It's the one thing I shake my head over.(edited)

But that's me.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Nah, it's me too.

Superjustinbros

Fart humor in 2018/19?

mathtans

Back to the amusing, the line about her being "16 but 18 outside of Japan". OMG.

RebelVampire

that was way too topical and i loved that line

cause its so true

Superjustinbros

Indeed

mathtans

I was thinking about it again when she was in England. Like... hm?

RebelVampire

especially now with more companies cracking down

and suddenly all these 18 year old high school girls

mathtans

Yis. eyeroll

Superjustinbros

eyerolls

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

That's a good example of a joke that's clever and genre-savvy, it just happens to refer to something that's bad news IRL. In contrast to the "it's gross, that automatically makes it funny" bits.

mathtans

Yeah, there's lots of clever genre stuff.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

A little more seriously...I really liked Starlit Pony's whole arc. It's irreverent and wacky but there's actually something sincere underneath.

mathtans

Sorry, which? Abysmal with names.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

The trans one!

mathtans

Ah! I suspected but wasn't sure. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about that one, like I almost wish it had gone deeper. I wasn't sure if the dad was being sarcastic with the "son" comments near the start or not. But I agree there was some good consideration there.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

She's a great counter-example for the kind of people who say "what, you don't want us to make fun of crossdressing-boy characters?? How will we be funny now? You obviously just hate jokes!"

Like, no, you can be funny and respect trans people. Here's proof.

Superjustinbros

^

RebelVampire

i really liked they involved the trainers aspect more in that arc. because i also love the boys all card duel just as much as i love the girls are all magical girls.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

And her dad refers to her as his daughter eventually -- it's a happy conclusion, that he comes around to accepting her gender.

mathtans

Yup, smashing stereotypes through use of stereotypes. Or something.

Erin: Yes, but I wasn't sure if she was actually a girl who liked cards, or a boy who liked magic. Like, the way it was presented felt ambiguous, even through the dad's comments, until later.

Of course, I'm also sleep deprived.

Gawd I hate January.

Superjustinbros

As someone that dislikes stereotypes anything that's used to bash/take shots at them is welcome by me

I know that feel

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Well, she's a girl who likes magic. But she has the card-based powers because apparently those are divided by biology, not gender identity.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. One of the main aspects of the comic is to parody manga and anime in a comedic manner. Of all the parodies so far, which one do you think is the most accurate? What about its execution in the comic do you think makes it work as a parody? Additionally, which of the parodies did you find the funniest? Outside of the writing, there are also plenty of visual gags. Visually speaking, which moment stood out to you as particularly comedic? Lastly, what do you personally feel the underlying commentary is saying about manga and anime? Has any parody in the comic made you think about manga or anime in a new light?

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

It's really funny that there's this whole card-game-based conflict going on in the same world, in the background to the magical-power-based conflict.

Like, that's how the industry as a whole feels sometimes -- though obviously it's not along such a rigid divide (much as marketing companies wish it was).

mathtans

The visit to the Convention was rather amusing. There's these times when the creator pokes fun at themselves, visually or otherwise. (eg "No one does these things in full colour").

Superjustinbros

lol

Yeah, doujinshi are rarely drawn in full color

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Yeah, that was good. I love that even the in-between pages have that kind of self-referential gag. "This is best read out loud, in a crowded place, such as on a train."

mathtans

I had feels for the artist when Apricot critiqued. Though Apricot also seems to appreciate things that are "hard to draw".

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

XD

mathtans

Yeah, the explanation pages are clever. I like how it's actually a different character and bird each time.

I still remember when they were looking at that post with all the wires too.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Usually "that looks hard to draw" is a cartoonist's lampshading of the fact that they're fudging their way out of drawing something. Here, nope, we get to see the whole thing.

Superjustinbros

This^

RebelVampire

i love thatd moment where they took a moment to look at the electrical telephone pole

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

("They", I say, as if I'm not included in this group, heh.)

RebelVampire

for the hard to draw thing

A+ joke

mathtans

I liked the dark lord muttering about having to watch teenage girls too. With the globe he got and everything. He probably would prefer Anzu to be doing it as part of her training.

Actually, his intros are hilarious.

I'm not sure what it parodies, but it works.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

He seems like a riff on the standard Video Game Final Boss to me.

RebelVampire

i think my favorite parody of them all is the one where apricot actually does wake up late and then takes the time to go get bread, and etc. etc. cause its just so drawn out in how long it takes. but its true, you cant go late to anime school without toast in your mouth.

Superjustinbros

lol yes

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

...realizing now that I don't actually have much personal experience with Video Game Final Bosses, I'm basing this impression mostly on how they get parodied in other webcomics. Like RPG World, or Adventurers.

mathtans

Heh. That was clever (the toast). I felt like it went on a bit long was the only thing. (Also, in the background, 11-11. Subtle.)(edited)

The language thing (are we speaking Japanese or English) felt like it went on a bit long too. I think it only stands out because usually the pacing feels very good.

I don't play the Video Games, I only watch Let'S Plays.

RebelVampire

i also loved the translation bit. it did go on for a bit, yet i think what sold me on it was the OK that was supposed to be english was actually changed to the correct universal font for trying to show things in english

mathtans

I did notice that. Another clever detail.

RebelVampire

he seems most assuredly a riff on video game final bosses, especially considering everyone mistook him for sephiroth at the convention

Superjustinbros

lol

mathtans

Do not challenge him. He will summon your parents.

Superjustinbros

that would be amazing

RebelVampire

one of my fave visual gags is probably this page https://tapas.io/episode/483838

mathtans

The navigation is also really clever (on the main site). My first time there, I just clicked right arrow. It brought me to the first page again, and I had to actually read what was going on.

RebelVampire

where shes telling jacques shes surely pretty under that helmet

but nope

Superjustinbros

those eyes tho o_o

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

And the "sorry if you were looking for recipes" in the header cracks me up.

mathtans

Jacques is creepy. Another nice detail with the missing a leg in human form, but like, wtf with birds.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I'm so glad she put the helmet back on

RebelVampire

yes i really loved that detail in the header

mathtans

Header's good too, yup.

RebelVampire

but makes me wonder how many ppl have gotten to this site wanting apricot cookie recipes XD

mathtans

I like how "Anzu" means "Apricot". Though it just adds more language confusion.

RebelVampire

oh lol, i didnt know that. never crossed my mind to translate her name XD

mathtans

I suspected, so I went to a translation program.

Superjustinbros

god bless translations

RebelVampire

smart. thats a great detail then

https://apricotcookies.net/5/21

i enjoy the last panel

about the adaptions

especially cause the hollywood one would be terrible

too accurate

but i also appreciate the art style switch in the next page

cause that takes some skill

Superjustinbros

yes

RebelVampire

and i love the filters kind of effect on it that references the kind of shit quality 90s anime had

mathtans

I'm bad for noticing art stuff at times.

Interesting how she started blonde though.

RebelVampire

i assume the blond is their natural color, and their hair only becomes black when infused with dark power

so ya know

typical anime stuff

QUESTION 3. The comic features a slew of colorful characters with even more colorful personalities. Which character at the moment is your favorite and why? Further, of the comedic moments related to them, which one do you think was the best? What sort of scenarios are you hoping to see this character in in the future? Finally, what do you think their relationship with our protagonist Apricot adds to the story? Speaking of relationship dynamics with Apricot, how do you feel like those dynamics in general might change between all the characters as the story continues? Overall, what typical manga scenarios are you hoping to see addressed in the comic, and which character are you hoping to see participate in them?

mathtans

It amusing that Apricot wants her parents to be dead in her backstory, but her real story is kind of messed up too.

Superjustinbros

Design wise, Meal Deal and Moonlight Spritzer.

mathtans

Cream ftw. For definite.

Can't beat teleporting and quipping like Spiderman.

I'm bad for noticing designs too.

Superjustinbros

Especially with a name like Cream

RebelVampire

im really sad there wont be more moonlight spritzer cause shes now an office lady

Superjustinbros

r.i.p.

mathtans

... ... I had always pictured it as "cream and sugar" until you said that ...

I was amused by "that doesn't count". I'm not a motorcycle fan though. ^.^

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I was thinking whipped cream. To go with the other desserts.

mathtans

I guess I was automatically onto the tea or coffee mindset.

Wait, butter's a dessert?

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Butter cookies are?

They're not all desserts, just several of them.

mathtans

Did not even pick up on that. Point.

Superjustinbros

mmm, butter

mathtans

Speaking of, Apricot's interest in Butter, like trying not to look at her transforming or how she reacted to the idea it was just the two of them at a sleepover... that amused me. Because of the yuri implications. ^.^

Though I guess Apricot's turned out to be... pansexual?

RebelVampire

they at least all have a food theme i think.

mathtans

Not sure if that's the right term.

RebelVampire

i assume apricot is just into whatever although i doubt were gonna get any actual ships going on alas.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Bisexual or pansexual would both work. Unless she uses a specific word in-universe...and AFAIK there aren't separate words in Japanese.

She just says she's into "men and women...and trains."

mathtans

Bisexual implies male or female to me though, versus the trains thing. ^^

RebelVampire

apricot x trains otp

mathtans

apricot x ships?

Superjustinbros

apricots on ships sounds liek the name to a song

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Eh, there are straight and gay people who talk about weird xeno attractions too.

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

Geh. 9A9 I'm late! jumps in anyway

I like the Apricot x Butter ship. XDDD

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

So many anime with trains/planes/boats/etc personified as sexy moe girls...

Superjustinbros

^

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

Much agreed with Erin. ; v ;

RebelVampire

i wonder if jacques plays hatoful boyfriend

mathtans

Erin: ... Point. I hadn't even gone there yet. O.o

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

It would be some epic planning if the endgame ships turned out to be foreshadowed by "they're named after foods that go together well."

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

I've had Apricot Butter before... 8L

mathtans

Well, the girls seem to go for harem-style guys (aside from Butter).

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

I do have to say, I didn't expect Butter to be called Butter because she's got a blue scheme going.

Superjustinbros

In before there's a yellow-themed girl called blueberry

mathtans

I wonder why Butter sleeps underwater.

RebelVampire

yeah butter's mostly blueness really stood out to me. but maybe reflective that you dont want too much butter

Superjustinbros

Yeah, lol

RebelVampire

cause you put too much butter on something and it tastes icky

mathtans

I can't believe it's not Butter.

Superjustinbros

Too much butter on something is kinda gross tbh

I can't believe I missed that reference/joke Math just said

RebelVampire

the character i really want to see more of is jammy smasher the head bully. cause she and apricot need to have that arc where they become the true best friends who still constantly bicker but are on the same team and all those shenanigans. cause im really interested to see what punches the comic throws at all those tropes

mathtans

Just gotta put Butter on Apricot.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I'd be into this Jammy Smasher arc.

mathtans

I could see that, Rebel, though it might get subverted.

ShaRose49

I only read some of the beginning so far but I wanted to say all it’s breaking of the fourth wall was great. I liked the lord of darkness guy the best or whatever his name was

mathtans

I'm still on about Cream. She knows more about Apricot's family now, could be relevant later.

Superjustinbros

always love me some good fourth wall destruction

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros sometimes it needs to be broken

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

I actually got a bit confused when I started out reading because I thought Lord of Darkness would be the main character. XDDD

RebelVampire

he can be the main character in your heart

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

True, true. ;v;

RebelVampire

and im sure hed be the type to tell you everyone is the main character of their own life story

mathtans

Dude can't even figure out slide shows, let alone the internet. (Though I guess now we see where some of Apricot's incompetence comes from.)

RebelVampire

and his mom did say his love story with his wife would be like a 10 year manga so he can be the protag of that

and 100% its gonna get subverted cause this is a parody comic. no way theyll play it straight. i half expect apricot to turn to jammy in the climatic bond moment where they admit they arent so bad and apricot just goes "just kidding youre a bitch"

Superjustinbros

well stories aren't limited to just one main

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

That too~~. XD

Superjustinbros

Sometimes you get a side character or two that has such a large impact on the story that they become a major fofure

RebelVampire

i really did like the opening introduction though where the lord of darkness treats it like a business meeting and such.

although

who exactly are we in this context. like what if this isnt just a fourth wall break, but were just first person cameraing a character

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

I actually felt like I was being thrown back into the days when I was in Uni. XDDDD

Like, Lord of Darkness felt like a professor and his powerpoint struggles... ; v ;(edited)

RebelVampire

i enjoyed that he called tech support XD just wasting more of the time. and i enjoy that panel where hes crying about the wasted hours he spent on a powerpoint that doesnt even work

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

RIP oh great Lord of Darkness. XDDD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Apricot’s one true dream in the story is to become a magical girl. Do you think that Apricot will achieve her dream eventually and learn to transform? If so, what measures do you think she might have to take to ultimately achieve this dream? How might this affect Apricot’s relationship with her family? Alternatively, will she eventually come to accept her role as the Princess of Darkness? Regardless of which event occurs, how do you think Apricot’s friends/school mates would react to finding out who her parents are? Do you think they’ll find out or will it stay a secret forever? Finally, what shenanigans do you think Apricot will get up to in general throughout the story?

💩 💩 💩 YY 💩 💩 💩

I havent' read that far, but I think Apricot will become a magical girl at some point.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I think she's gonna get a Devil Homura type of magical-girl form. And it'll be epic.

Superjustinbros

Yes

mathtans

(Back - little one's entered a fussier time of the evening.)

RebelVampire

that would be awesome if her form just winds up being pretty evil looking. as long as all the others comment loudly about it. like "Wow who would expect the ditz girl to have a form like this." "Isn't this form a little evil looking?" and apricot just has to flail assuring them nah its fine, perfectly normal

mathtans

The others are all aware of a great power when Apricot tries to transform. Thing is, didn't someone say at some point that Princesses couldn't transform? I think she'd need to renounce her throne for it to work. Which she might do, but then regret.

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I thought it was "only the Princess can transform without relying on her bird companion."

mathtans

I'm torn between thinking her form would show off too much, or like practically cover her entirely like a snowsuit. (There's few in betweens with her.)

Erin: Oh, that might have been it, good call.

Maybe that's the important thing the bird had wanted to tell her, the power's in you, I'm only holding you back.

RebelVampire

it was specifically the princess of light though. who can transform without a bird companion. and her sister is the princess of light and i assume its a there can only be one thing.

Superjustinbros

Hmm

Is that so?

RebelVampire

although idk what would happen if the parents decided to have a third child

very convenient they stopped after two

mathtans

Princess of darkness might have similar restrictions.

What if it was a boy? Would darkness have a deck of cards?

Superjustinbros

What about the princess of in-between?

RebelVampire

yes i support this if the third child is a boy. a boy who is destined for a magical cube that contains the soul of an egyptian pharoah. and that even as a baby he becomes the best dueller in japan.

and you cant have a princess of in-between. theres only light and darkness. this isnt real life where all the things are actually gray and cant be fit into two boxes O_O

Superjustinbros

Are you sure about that

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I get the impression there could be multiple light/dark Princesses within the family -- it's just that this kind of power can't manifest outside the family.

Superjustinbros

Aah ok

RebelVampire

definitely can agree it cant manifest outside the family.

i def cant wait to see the fallout when others find out apricot's secret. not that i expect huge amounts of drama

but no way they wont react

i could actually see them encouraging apricot to accept her role

cause once her dad retires what are they supposed to fight if theres no ruler of the darkness

director of darkness

cause suddenly remembered the appropriate title

Superjustinbros

Director of Darkness sounds badass

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Maybe at some point they'll meet a girl who hates being a frilly magical girl and longs for a dark evil powerset. (With parallels/foreshadowing in how Starlit was born with the deck-of-cards powerset but wanted the frilly powerset.) And then she and Apricot can engineer a swap somehow.

Superjustinbros

Lol

Well not every girl wants to be some sweet and dainty rightly colored girl that's for sure

RebelVampire

this does seem like a potential arc, but more like the kind thatll blow up in their faces and not work out. XD

mathtans

(Back again.)

RebelVampire

i really hope chapter 7 is about cream though. cause as i think math mentioned earlier, i want to see cream deal with being the only one who knows at the very least that almond and apricot are sisters

mathtans

Maybe the family decides to adopt.

I just want more Cream! ^.^

Superjustinbros

*ads more cream to Math's dessert

mathtans

I wonder, if students transfer to Japan, do they get wrapped up in this stuff? Because there aren't magical girls in the UK, as Cream indicated.

RebelVampire

i think cream is evidence that yes

Superjustinbros

What about in the US?

RebelVampire

yes they do

it is destiny

the comic hasnt said anything about the US

mathtans

So what if they move away? Powers are sealed?

(Reminds me, they're able to toe the line rather neatly, what with tentacles and rope tricks, without crossing over.)

RebelVampire

thats basically what is implied. that they dont get to use their powers anymore. since cream was barely there a few mins before the visa kicked in

i was looking at earlier pages

https://apricotcookies.net/1/8

i wanna know who the figure is that got her own panel

cause that is the chara who shouldve been butter if we go by color scheme XD

mathtans

Oh yeah, the figurine. I'd forgotten about that.

Also, sleeping in hair ties for branding. Hah.

Superjustinbros

If only we had known

mathtans

(Was it Cream who said "in the name of the spoon?"... I forget but it sounds like something she'd say.)

Maybe the figurine is Mom when she was younger.

Superjustinbros

Anyways since the tea party's ending I'd like to wish Louis luck on continuing the comic, this is a great read so far and I'l looking forward to what happens next

mathtans

One last wondering, is Apricot's last name "Cookie"? Or is that a web cookie pun? Because her real last name is "Hikari", right?

Superjustinbros

Lol, that'd be one hell of a last name

RebelVampire

i assume its apricot's pre-chosen magical girl name

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Same.

RebelVampire

considering her first name is anzu

not apricot

Superjustinbros

Fair enough

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

But anzu means apricot, yes? So that's just a translation thing.

RebelVampire

yeah but still her actual first name. i dont think its necessarily just a translation joke

mathtans

I suppose. I wondered about translations.

Superjustinbros

Anyways cya (edited)

mathtans

Anyway, final remark is the recipe if people hadn't spotted it yet. With 3D printing. Well done. https://apricotcookies.net/specials/2

All very clever.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Louis Lloyd-Judson, as well, for making Apricot Cookie(s)!. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Louis Lloyd-Judson’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://apricotcookies.net/

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