#edit: ​i was gonna say how my asshole looks like but i thought better of it but im saying it now :)

[icelogged]

having the most

day on tumblr <3

[kirammanswoman]

—and they were roommates

part 2

masterlist

hockey!ellie x hockey!vi x hockey!abby x figureskater! reader

college au! fluff & angst (?)

synopsis: you were just trying to find a new roommate. how bad could it be if you lived with the university’s most popular hockey trio notorious for breaking score boards and breaking beds (n backs) too?

warning: they’re all fucking bimbos and simps. reader ur so pretty u make them so dumb🗣️. caitlyn slander but i promise i love her so fucking much im sorry to my best girl. !!!!!!mentions of reader and harassment!!!! dumbassery. thats all. this is half edited

a/n: this lowk was rushed im sorryyyy my babies but enjoy nonetheless <3

———

Abby didn’t know what she was expecting when she opened the door. After Vi’s declaration of your arrival (and the pathetic scream that followed of how pretty you are), she rushed downstairs while pulling her shirt over her bare upper body and pulling her hair back in a quick bun.

[a/n: hey author popping up in her rlly fast to say that idgaf. they like to be shirtless. (#selfindulgent)]

Vi thought being a woman was enough to be pretty in her book, so Abby just brushed it off and carried on. She thought you were gonna be some other female hockey player with a big ego and the usual nonchalant attitude. (how misogynistic)

Click. She unlocked the door.

You can’t be anything special, right?

Swing. She opened the door.

“Hey, you must be— whoa.” The blonde was immediately slapped with your scent. It was intoxicating in the way where you made her mind blank for a second. She couldn’t think of anything else besides the fact that you smelled so sweet, like a cupcake. She didn’t even have time to register how stupid she looked, because holy fuck, Vi wasn’t lying. Abby’s mouth hung slightly open as she took you in, her breath caught at her throat. She saw how your soft hair fell perfectly down your upper body, how your pools of liquid warmth-eyes met her gaze, how your toned body covered with your leggings and tight jacket hugged your body so nicely she could have ogled at you for so much longer if you didn’t speak up—

“Uh, Hi, Abby right? I emailed you yesterday about the roommate inquiry?”

Abby’s throat was dry. Your voice was—Jesus.

“Oh. Yeah— yeah! I’m uh— I’m sorry for making you wait. come in, come in.” She moved to the side and gestured you to enter. She can’t lie, she did have a slight peek at your ass while you walked in. Lethal face card, mesmerizing voice, add amazing fucking ass to the list. (She mentally thanked her eyes for flickering down there but also mentally punched herself in the face for being no better than a man.) Abby took a sharp breath in. Lord, this was not gonna be easy…

As you walked into the gorgeous house, Vi descended from the stairs. She was toothbrush-less this time, and somehow had less clothes on. She was in a sports bra and (Abby’s) low rise grey sweats. Her muscular biceps and ripped abs were hard not to look at, not to mention that delicious v-line that was barely covered from the band of her Calvin Klien boxers—

“Hey. Sorry for leavin’ ya out there sweets.” She smirked and leaned against the wall, looking at you up and down. “Had to spit out the toothpaste.” she added with a wink. This earned Vi a scowl and a mouthed “Quit it asshole” from Abby.

“Have a seat.” Abby politely said from behind you and smiled, and pointed to the couch. As you turn to walk to the living room, Abby smacked Vi right at the back of her neck and whispered a firm and fast “Behave you fuckin’ dog.” Vi, like a dog, sulked with her puppy eyes on full display. The duo made their way to the other couch, sitting stiffly.

Abby clears her throat to break the silence. “Our other roommate has a class right now, so she’ll be coming a little later.” She smiles, and tried not to let her eyes travel down to how perfect your tits sat under your jacket.

Vi, on the other hand, grew more confident since the toothbrush incident. God, she could not rip her eyes off of you even if she tried. You sat so politely on their couch, your pretty legs crossed over one another and posture so straight she would’ve mistaken you as royalty. Normally, when she sees a pretty girl, she’s fast to flirt. Her on and off toxic ex, Caitlyn Kiramman [a/n: i fucking love caitlyn im sorry ok] which happens to be one of the most sought after girls in school, was pretty to Vi. She was easy to flirt with, easy to tease, easy to fuck. You, on the other hand, made her feel different. You were making her dizzy. The moment she say your pretty fucking face standing out their door, she knew it was over for her from the way you smiled so nicely. You weren’t just pretty to Vi, you were more.

If the feeling of butterflies was a person, it’d look like you.

———

Okay…so they’re both hot…so what?

You thought as you collected your thoughts to speak up. Cmon, if you could make your professors gawk at your public speaking skills and befriend angry cashier Dan, you could talk to these hockey players. These…greek god sculpted…chiseled to perfection…hymn worthy…hockey…players…

You cleared your throat.

“Oh no worries, I understand how demanding class could be. Your place, it’s so nice n cozy.” You laughed off the information Abby gave you about their late roommate and your eyes looked around their humble abode. It was indeed cozy, and much cleaner than you anticipated. It was a two story house with modern kitchen interior and a gorgeous ginormous marble island that you would kill to bake and cook on. Overlooking the kitchen island was their living room with a cloud-like couch that sunk when you sat your ass down on the cushions. The large 77’ inch TV was sleek against the wall with a hockey game on. Then your remembered…

Shit. Hockey. Something you don’t fucking play.

“So, you’re a hockey player?” asked the one with pink hair.

Did this pink protein pack sex god just read my mind?

“Uh— well—“ you struggled. “No. And— before you reject me already— I can explain.”

The two chuckled softly at your words, finding it charming the way you stuttered.

“Go on sweets, we’re listening.” The pink haired one said again, relaxing a little on the couch and tilting her head. You don’t know if you hated that nickname or loved it, but it definitely had you shifting in your seat. “Oh, and I’m Vi by the way.” she smiles.

“Yes, (name) go on, we won’t stop you from elaborating.” Abby, the one you emailed, smiled politely and listened attentively. She reminded you of a bear, a big cuddly bear with huge biceps and incredible hands. She leaned back on the couch whilst smiling at you ever so slightly, almost like she was admiring a flower in full bloom.

“Yeah, alright thank you.” you nodded and took a breath.

“I’m a figure skater for the school, and we use the same locker room and rink. I saw flyer and I thought I’d give it a try— but I totally understand if you want to venture other opti—“

Of course, you were cut off when the door was slammed open. Jesus, they maybe hot but they could use some damn etiquette classes.

“YO, WHOSE SEXY ASS CAR IS OUTSIDE— oh—holy fuck.”

You were interrupted mid-sentence when a cute (and equally hot— you were praying to get the ick at this point because you couldn’t fathom how they all were so attractive) brunette girl entered. You turned around to see her walking in with bags of Taco Bell and three (extremely large) Baja Blasts in a carrier. She met your gaze, and she practically turned into a tomato.

An awkward 5 second pause made the air in the room thick before a voice broke through it.

“Uh— Ellie! This is (name), we were just starting to talk about the details of her potential move-in here” Abby said, forcing a smile and shifting in her seat. She looked at Ellie with a smile, but her eyes screamed “sit the fuck down you’re embarrassing yourself”

Ellie? Oh- Ellie! you thought.

“Ellie huh? You must know Dina then?” You perked up, your eyes shining at the mention of your best friend.

Ellie gulped. She was a deer stuck in headlights,

but more so a deer that was stuck looking the fucking illuminating angel that was sat on their couch.

———

Between her and her best friends, Ellie had always been the least upfront and straightforward of the three.

Don’t underestimate her though, she pulls extremely hard. Girls are always thirsting in her instagram dms after she posts a picture of her flexing her tattooed arm after a pump at the gym, but always did it without having to try. She was, what Vi and Abby call her, a loser lesbian. In this case, she was living up to the name as well.

“Yeah— I know Dina.” It took her a second to respond to your question, she was busy looking (fawning over) your pretty fucking face. Perfect eyes, cute nose, pretty hair, and lips of an angel. You were so, so fucking pretty.

“That’s great! She said you were really cool, it’s good to put a face to the name.” you smile at Ellie and she felt the lub-dub of her chest fasten.

“Yeah…it’s good to put a face to you too. A very pretty one for that matter.” she smiled softly while heading to the couch. She put the Taco Bell and drinks on the coffee table.

“Oh— (name), help yourself.” Ellie added.

You looked at the Taco Bell, and politely declined. “S’ okay, thank you though.”

“Alright, so sorry for the informality of this all” Abby cut in between, sitting slightly forward as she was squished between Ellie and Vi. You had the one couch fully to yourself, while dumb, dumber, and dumbest were compacted like sardines into the other.

“I— don’t apologize I understand— hey do one of yall want to sit on this couch by the way, you guys are packed on one, and it is yall’s couch. I promise I don’t bite.” You laugh softly, pointing at the big empty spaces next to you.

The three idiots looked at each other with the most brainless looks on their faces, and all stood up to move.

“Oh I thought—“

“Wait were you—“

“Who’s gonna—“

They all spoke at the same time, looking at you, then at the other the couch, and then at each other.

“I can sit next—“

“No you should stay—“

“Guys just sit—“

You cleared your throat to hide the laugh that was bubbling in your throat. Your hand flies to your mouth to hide the smile that was creeping up on your face. They looked like lost puppies, cute. They all looked at you when you cleared your throat, their faces glowing pink with embarrassment. Finally, Abby sat on the same couch as you— on the complete opposite end. She spoke up:

“Okay, let’s get started”

———

You don’t know how you got here…

A measly three hours later of Abby, Ellie, and Vi barely asking you questions and instead cracking jokes, you were munching on the Taco Bell nacho cheese fries that Ellie brought back.

“I’m convinced Professor Viktor and Coach Talis are fucking!” Vi said, throwing her arms up while earning a laugh from Ellie and Abby.

You, on the other hand, had your brows raised in amusement and ears perked up due to the new information. “Coach Talis? As in hockey team Coach Talis?” You laughed while covering your mouth that’s still half full of fries.

“Yes! Yes Coach Talis!” Ellie laughed back, nodding her head.

“No shut the fuck up, I swear he always flirts with Coach Medarda during the rink-switch between the figure skaters and hockey players!” You said, trying hard not to laugh as you dropped the bomb on them. “I swear one time I overheard him say a cheesy fucking pickup line like ‘are you the ice?, because you’ve got me slipping into your heart’ and Medarda looked so over it she said she was a desert.”

“Oh? So he swings both ways?” Abby said, wiggling her eyebrows and biting her finger “how cheeky”

You barked out a laugh, one where you genuinely felt like your stomach was gonna concave in itself if you didn’t stop. “Oh my god— I haven’t laughed like that in so long- whew.” you said wiping your eyes from the tears forming. You felt warm. You felt welcomed. To your surprise, the trio was so much more than you expected. The measly three hours started with you four being stiff and awkward toward each other, but once Ellie cracked a joke about some stupid fucking niche thing, the four of you started to snowball into different topics. From these measly three hours, you laughed until were hungry, laughed until you ate their Taco Bell, laughed until you were clutching your stomach and wiping tears in your eyes, laughed until the three hockey placers felt a warm feeling in their chest despite the thick snow outside.

“Holy crap— I’ve been here for so long” you pointed out as you looked at the clock and the window outside. It was dark already even if it was only 5, the wintertimes in Jackson always promised a dark atmosphere early on in the day.

“Oh— oh right. Yes right so roommate inquiry— We’ll reach out in a few days? Up until we decide?” Abby said, sipping on the half empty Baja Blast.

“Yes! Yes of course— uh— do you guys want my number or is the email just fine—“

“NUMEBR! I mean…number yeah…so it’s easier to contact you” Vi said, a little too fast. Ellie whispered a sarcastic ‘good one’ to her while laughing softly.

You smiled at them, and pulled out your phone so each of them could put their numbers in.

“Cute wallpaper, by the way.” Ellie said, handing the phone as she was the last one to have the phone. You mentally slapped yourself. The wallpaper was of you, Dina and your pet, Dog, looking slightly stupid in matching costumes from this Halloween. Dog was a celery. You were a carrot stick. Dina was a ranch. Why? Why not.

“You have a cat?” Ellie asked, and you nodded.

“Yes— his name is Dog— well okay technically he was supposed to be a dog, but you know buying a pet from CraigsList is never a good idea. He was supposed to be a Pomeranian, but I got handed a mini kitten instead. I decided that I loved him too much to get rid of him, so I named him…Dog…instead…” you shuffled, cringing at yourself because you must sound so, so stupid right now. Ellie bit back the stupidest fucking smile. You are so fucking cute. She could eat you out up on the spot. Right now.

“You named your cat…Dog?” Vi asked, amused and smirking. “That’s real charming, sweets.” She laughed put her hands in the pockets of her (Abby’s) sweats.

“Charming? S’ a little stupid honestly—“

“Oh no it isn’t. I had a turtle when I younger and named her Fish. If that’s any consolation.” Abby adds and she laughs.

“Phew, okay so I’m not alone in this boat. Oh, I hope it’s okay that I have a pet, I forgot to mention it since we all got…” You look at the coffee table with Taco Bell sauce packets and wrappers messily sprawled on it “…off topic.” you laugh, and so do they.

“I’ll help clean by the way—“

“No! No, we couldn’t ask you to do that sweets. S’ okay, you should get home before it gets too dark.” Vi waved you off with a smile.

“We’ll walk ya out.” Ellie added, gesturing to the front door.

You left their place feeling so different than you expected. They bid their farewell as you pull out of their driveway, the trio waving goodbye and screaming ‘DRIVE SAFE!’ as you get farther. A part of you couldn’t believe how well it went.

The other part of you wanted them to text you so bad; saying that they would love to have you as their new roommate.

———

“We are not having her as our other fucking roommate—“

“Ellie— what the fuck? Why?”

“Vi, use your damn head—“

“Okay guys let’s relax and think this through.”

After you left and the door to their house shut, hell broke loose. The trio had two opposing parties and an undecided one. The decision was gonna be so much harder than they anticipated. They argued while cleaning the mess in the coffee table, they argued while putting away the dishes, and they are still arguing. It’s been an hour.

“Vi, we are ALL clearly into her, how do you think having her as a roommate would be?” Ellie argued

“Ellie, come-fucking-on! It’s too early to make that decision! And so what if we’re all into her? (Name’s) a fucking adult and so are we! We can control ourselves!” Vi barked back, getting slightly irritated at her best friend’s immediate dismissal.

“All I’m saying is that— If she does move in, how the fuck’ll that affect how we act towards each other? How people act towards her? Listen, we’re not so known for being the most…modest…people. We’re fuckin’ notorious for sleeping around okay, and what’ll happen to (name’s) image if people find out she’s living with us! For all we know, people could hate her because of us! It’s happened before— you know it has. Your ex was subjected to the worst after people found out that you guys were a thing. The only difference there is that Caitlyn’s a fuckin’ bitch and moved on so fast! She could take the criticism!”

She paused, and took a deep breath. Her voice was now, much softer. “I’m not saying (name) cant, but come on, she was a fucking carrot stick for halloween. She has a kitten named Dog. She’s too—“ Ellie huffed out, and there was a pause. The air was thick.

“—Sweet?” Abby finished for her, smiling a sad smile when reminded of your presence. Sweet. Like a cupcake.

Ellie let out a breathless “yeah.” and shook her head.

Vi sighed, shaking her head. “Fuck. You have a point.” she said, massaging her temples.

They stay quiet for a second, letting the reality sink in. Ellie broke the silence.

“Abby, what do you think? You’re the most logical one with this typa shit, plus you pay the most— what do you want?” Ellie said while sighing. They moved to the kitchen now, Vi sitting on the island while Abby was preparing her meal prep on the stove. Ellie was sitting on the island stool, conflicted.

“You have a point. I mean, fuck, people are brutal. I don’t want her to face all that.” Abby said, turning off the stove and sighing.

“So…?”

“So I think we know our answer…” Abby hesitated to say.

“Damn. Fuck.” Vi cursed. “M’ not textin’ her. I don’t wanna break the news that we’re rejecting her.” She shook her head.

“I don’t want to either.” Ellie said, her fingers playing with her bracelet.

Abby scoffed and glared at the two. “You guys fuckin’ suck.” She let out a long sigh, and raked her fingers through her hair. She grabbed her phone from her back pocket, getting ready to text you, but was met with surprise instead.

You texted first..?

She was perplexed, and saw that you had just sent it a little over three minutes ago. She opened her messages:

2 new messages from (name)

(name): hey abby, sorry for the inconvenience i know i just left. they’re evacuating our dorm because this creepy guy found a way in and started harassing me n the girls here— it’s been a reoccurring problem for months. the police have him in custody rn tho. im in the er rn— nothing serious but the police js wanted to do an overall check for all the girls he encountered bc he was literally insane n on heavy drugs.

(name): im texting to ask if i can crash tonight? my brother and Dina are out of town for a weekend get- away n all my friends lived in the same dorm building n are all spread out now. sorry again, i can always book a hotel if u cant!! no worries :)

Oh, Abby was fuckin’ livid. You were harassed? You sweet, sweet girl? You?

If fumes could be seen seeping out of Abby’s ears, it’s beyond be palpable that Abby was beyond furious.

“What? Abby what happened?” Ellie was fast to ask, noticing her best friend’s shift in demeanor.

Abby didn’t respond to Ellie, but her fingers typed faster than she could think.

3 new messages from abby

abby: what the fuck? (name) are you okay? send me the address of the ER now, m’ coming to getcha.

abby: forget about booking a fuckin’ hotel ur staying here. we’d be happy to have u as a roommate, ur moving in as soon as possible, n never going back to that shitty dorm.

abby: hang tight sweet girl, im omw.

Abby didn’t register the nickname she called you, she didn’t give a fuck. It was true, you are such a sweet girl, so sweet that your scent was imprinted on her when you gave each of them a parting hug. No, she wasn’t gonna go on with the night knowing some fuckass creep put his hands on you.

“Abby, what the fuck is going on?” Vi lost her patience, standing from the kitchen counter. Ellie followed too, seeing as Abby was grabbing her keys and heading out.

Abby was ready to sh00t someone at this point. She let out an irritated sigh, and was throwing the pillows of the couch to find her hat, tucked under a pillow.

She found it, put it on, and quickly explained the situation.

“Fucking— (name’s) in the ER. A fucking creep somehow entered her dorm building and started harassing her and the girls there.” Abby said, rushing toward the garage door. Ellie and Vi stood there, frozen with anger.

“Well are yall fuckin’ coming?” Abby yelled.

Ellie and Vi scrabbled to their stuff, both gradually getting angrier and angrier as reality set in

Oh, they were coming alright. They were ready to declare war on whoever the fuck did this.

———

taglist (i couldn’t find some of yall im so sorry :( )

@lanadelreyluvr22 @h2pinky @yourcherrybaby666 @ellieslittleslutt @saturnhas82moons @aaaaslaaaan @danimp3 @alunevi @rdfgfv @popspeach07 @valenbodoque @mellohatesyou @ghgygd @seraphicsentences @auroraslibrary @haikyuunerd @lvlymicha @sevikas-whore @booistoleyou @femme-historian @jack-frost-2010 @bella-72-23 @dontcensor @auraclus @diana-rose-25 @abbyismywife @hiphip-horray @pia-veronique @brooks-lin @abbysleftbicepp @agabbsc @ilovemydinoboi @tlouloser

[acowardinmordor]

I needed to warm up, so I did not plan, just wrote this, and I'm about to hit post without editing or rereading. This is Steve&Eddie more than its a slash

----------

It was a week after the rumors made the rounds about Harrington and Hargrove getting into a fight. Eddie would normally assume it was nothing but posting jock bullshit, and ignore it the same way he ignored what he overheard about cheerleaders hooking up with other cheerleader's boyfriends. Except a couple days after the rumors hit a peak, Harrington showed up at school looking like someone beat his face in with a plate.

That made a pretty strong argument for the rumors being true.

The guy avoided his old crowd, and despite his ex and her new boyfriend - if that rumor is true, there was some overlap - trying to include him, he kept away from everyone for the first two days.

Eddie put him out of mind, one less asshole to cause trouble, one less shithead to dodge. Not his problem. Until he found Harrington sitting at his table in the woods the next week. It made sense, sort of. The guy was obviously having a shit time, and like most of the locals that kept Eddie's business afloat, he was looking for a distraction.

Eddie was right, and Harrington bought some weed before asking about getting anything stronger.

"I don't know man, I just wanna like, not be in my body for a while."

"Fair enough, but I don't keep that on me.

Harrington showed up when told to, and bought enough shit that Eddie hesitated before handing it over. He gave the guy a whole speech about not overdosing and ruining Eddie's upstanding reputation. Whether he listened or not wasn't something he could control.

So, the next Monday, when Harrington chased him down, and, as best as Eddie could tell, tried to become his friend, Eddie's first thought was that it was a ploy to get his next massive purchase of drugs on discount.

But Harrington didn't buy again except for a bit of weed. He did stick around. Outright said he wanted to be Eddie's friend. Kept at it through January until Eddie, confused as shit, admitted that yeah, they were friends. Mostly friends at least. There was stuff that Steve wouldn't talk about; his headaches, his nightmares, his tendency to freak the fuck out if the electricity got weird. Maybe it was better to say that Steve was his study partner who he sometimes hung out with. Cause that was the thing, Steve was pushy about Eddie studying.

"You really want to come back for a third run at graduating, man? Fuck that. 85 is gonna be your year, even if I have to bribe the teachers to pull it off"

"Why do you even care Steve? Maybe I want to become a legend of terrible scholarship in this crap town."

Steve never gave a real answer about it, just kept pushing him, hounding him about his homework, and showing up at his trailer every morning to drag Eddie out of bed if he had to. Wayne thought the whole thing was incredible and gave the guy a spare key. Traitor.

They got closer. Eddie finally met the kids Steve babysat. They immediately decided that Eddie was much cooler than Steve, and ragged on him constantly about it. They were close. They were. Fell asleep at each other's places. Spent half their time together.

Close, but not close enough for Eddie to get answers about why the fuck Steve had bruises and burns and scrapes sometimes. Bad ones. No matter how many times he said it, Steve didn't get those because he got distracted while cooking. It drove Eddie crazy sometimes. That was a lie. It drove him crazy all the time. Steve would tell him about how shit his parents were, but wouldn't admit why the fuck he needed stitches at the top of May.

"You did it."

"I think you'll find that you're the one that did it, Steve, I was an unwilling kidnapping victim in your quest to get us both across that stage."

It wasn't graceful, literally or figuratively, but Eddie got his diploma in 1985. Steve gave him what he said was a small part of his grad present from his parents. A thousand dollars. A thousand goddamn dollars. It was enough that Eddie didn't put the dots together right away. A small part, plus Steve's crappy job at the newly opened mall.

It was weird. But Eddie let it go, because Steve was his friend, maybe could have been best friends if the guy would stop pulling back whenever they got too close. He let it go, and he let Steve push him towards the goal of getting the fuck out of that town, and he promised he'd call when he got to Chicago.

It didn't really click for Eddie until he heard about the mall burning down from Wayne, that Steve never promised that he'd call too. The guy was there, and when Eddie called and demanded to know if he was okay, got another partial answer, another dodge, another thing for the list of shit his friend wouldn't talk about.

They fought about it. Loud enough as Eddie shouted into the phone that his neighbor banged on the wall. Maybe Eddie crossed a line. Maybe he crossed it a long while back. He didn't know. Eddie kept calling until September, but on the rare times that Steve answered, it was awkward and curt and terrible. He stopped trying when Wayne told him that Steve never stopped by, or even waved when they crossed paths.

Steve wanted it over, and it was so fucking weird. The guy slammed into Eddie's life out of nowhere, shifted it, changed the course, cause there was no way in hell Eddie would have graduated if it wasn't for Steve forcing him to try. The guy did all that, and nine months later, was gone again. Out of his life.

It was a week after new rumors reached him in February of 86 that a package arrived. His uncle called outside their normal plans, and said it wasn't sure yet, that there wasn't any proof, but Steve was missing, and some of those kids of his said he'd saved their lives. Said that he wasn't going to come back. Wayne didn't really understand what it meant, but passed on a message from those kids that they'd answer when he called.

Eddie got a box a week after finding out that Steve was gone, full of letters. Long, detailed, apologetic letters. The first was dated in December of 84, written after Steve spent a weekend 'out of his body' just like he wanted to be. The promises at the start didn't make sense. Steve said he'd save him. Steve said he'd make sure he got out. The apologies got more complex. Something about keeping Eddie away from friends he'd never make. About being selfish. About keeping secrets and lying when all he really wanted was to tell Eddie everything.

It was so fucking weird.

The last one was dated a couple days before things went bad in Hawkins, longer than all of the others. Monsters and nightmares and death and chance to make it right. Apologies for not doing it better, doing it sooner. For not wanting to risk it, for pushing Eddie away. Promises that Steve would call him as soon as it was over, that he was only writing this just in case. That it wouldn't ever be sent, and he'd burn the whole box after they won. Then he'd drive up and apologize in person, explain it in person, fix it, because Eddie meant more to him that Steve had ever let show, and he wanted to make it right.

At the bottom was a post script.

"Eds, If it doesn't work out, call this number, and ask for Robin. She knows the whole thing. She'll help. So will the kids. I hope you never read this. So I'm sorry if you are."

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

I forced my friend to watch three hours of BSD in chronological order and then interviewed him about it: The Interview

Feat. my girlfriend and several side tangents.

All questions are bolded in blue for better clarity.

We watched my chronological edit (still in progress) from Fukuzawa and Fukuchi meeting to Dazai picking up Akutagawa post-Dragon's Head Conflict (ALMOST at Dark Era).

-

ME: Okay! (claps hands together) First and foremost, who’s your favorite character so far? I have to ask.

FRIEND: Probably Dazai.

ME: That’s fair.

FRIEND: Bottom masochist.

GF: Gotta love him.

ME: (fighting back laughter) I cannot—I still find it funny that that is just what you’re going with. Like, you’ve only known him for like… an hour, I would say?

GF: Those are his most defining character traits.

ME: I mean yes…

FRIEND: He wants to die—he wants to commit suicide gently. Bottom masochist.

ME: (fighting back laughter again) ...Alright, who—

FRIEND: If he were a switch, he’d be into BDSM, you know, just…

ME: (still laughing) Do you—do you, um, do you have a least favorite character at this time?

FRIEND: He’s written really well, but by just himself, probably Mori.

ME: That’s fair. So, Mori...

FRIEND: He’s written very well, but he’s an asshole.

ME: Yes.

FRIEND: And I feel like there’s something about the scientist guy that I’m probably not gonna like, so we’ll see.

ME: About Shibusawa?

GF: The white-haired scientist?

FRIEND: The one we just saw.

ME: Yeah, so… what you saw with Shibusawa, it’s kind of… we’ll get into that more, but what you saw was kind of… the movie does a horrible job of elaborating on anything. Let me just say, I have the light novel, the light novel does a much better job of actually clearing up everything. The movie, the way it was written—first of all, is very different from its prototype, but it’s a thing. But anyways, it’s interesting that Mori is your least favorite character. What is your opinion of Mori’s relationship with Yosano? Like, how they interacted?

FRIEND: The infinite heal?

ME: Yep.

FRIEND: I mean I think that’s why (he’s my least favorite). He’s an asshole. He’s using her, I don’t why the fuck he was there, but he was there.

ME: What are your thoughts on Fukuchi from the few moments that you had seen him? (…) That was the guy at the beginning who was friends with Fukuzawa.

FRIEND: Kind of neutral. I don’t really know what to think of him? I think he’s… kind of like Chuuya where he’s headstrong. I just haven’t seen enough of him yet.

ME: You’ll get to see more of him, like, a lot later on, like…

FRIEND: Something split between those two (Fukuzawa and Fukuchi). The white hair. Obviously, because they’re different ideals.

ME: Hehe. Ideals. You’ll know why I laughed at that eventually. What do you think of Fukuzawa on that note?

FRIEND: He’s probably a close second for being my favorite character.

ME: (surprised) Really?! Interesting!

FRIEND: He’s just a very cool character, he’s a swordsman without a sword. That’s kind of funny. From the beginning, at least. I can see where the guilt lies within him, but he also still has emotion.

ME: (nodding) Yeah. So, you mentioned that Fukuzawa is your second favorite character with your number one being Dazai. Who would you say is your third favorite?

FRIEND: Probably Ranpo.

GF: (clapping) Yes!!!

ME: As you should! I support that! Because, like… he’s just a silly little guy.

GF: He’s autistic! :D

FRIEND: Their (Fukuzawa and Ranpo) interactions are fun to watch. You have them and then it just goes to “ah, look! More death!”

ME: (wheezes) Yeah.

FRIEND: That’s how Dragon Ball’s like.

ME: I believe that.

FRIEND: It’s like, “oh, peace!” and then they’re like, “okay, cool.” Next year, another tyrant.

ME: What do you think of Chuuya?

FRIEND: (thinking) ...I like him. Funny enough, he reminds me of Bakugo.

GF: Oh, Bakugo from My Hero? Interesting.

ME: I don’t know enough about My Hero Academia to be able to comment.

GF: You know of Bakugo.

ME: Is he the protagonist?

GF: No, he’s the bully. He’s the blonde-haired bully one with red eyes that bullies Deku.

ME: Ohhh. Isn’t he the guy that… he’s constantly shipped, like BakuDeku?

GF: Oh yeah.

FRIEND: That’s the main thing.

GF: That’s my ship. ;)

ME: ...Fascinating. (laughs)

FRIEND: (returning back to Chuuya/Bakugo comparison) Just very, like, doesn’t think about what they’re doing, just is very “I’m gonna do it anyway”.

ME: That’s fair.

GF: I think it’s interesting that Chuuya doesn’t have—in the way that Bakugo has Deku—Dazai is not Deku. So it’s a different dynamic completely, because Bakugo has a power dynamic over Deku from the very beginning. And Chuuya does not have that character flaw.

FRIEND: I mean at this rate, Deku is kind of probably suicidal as well.

GF: Middle-school Deku, yeah, definitely. But not in the same way.

FRIEND: Eh, even adult Deku, I would say.

GF: But Dazai is not a—not crybaby, but you know what I mean.

FRIEND: It’s kind of the opposite. I mean, Chuuya’s probably stronger than him, but he’s got that leverage on him.

ME: I am curious about what you think of Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship from what you have seen.

FRIEND: It’s interesting. It’s gonna be fun to see how… they’re definitely the type to say, if someone called them like “good friends” they would immediately deny it.

ME: (laughing) I would agree with that.

FRIEND: But then, like, an hour into them working together they’re playing a videogame.

ME: I would definitely agree with that. They do have that sort of vibe to them.

FRIEND: That’s what some guys need all the time.

ME: Were you surprised to see Odasaku again?

FRIEND: Um… no, I think I was kind of ready for that to pop up again. I think it’s a character that would kind of be wasted—no reason to make that character and then just not bring him in.

ME: That’s fair. Out of curiosity, how has this format necessarily impacted your viewing of Bungo Stray Dogs so far? You can’t necessarily say compared to how it would be normally since obviously you have not seen it normally, but like… I’m interested to see how… what do you think Bungo Stray Dogs is from what you have seen so far?

FRIEND: From what I can tell, a problem with Bungo Stray Dogs is that if you were to watch it normally, you would get kind of lost.

ME: I would agree with that.

FRIEND: Because you’re going back and forth a lot of times, so I think it’s helpful… now, obviously Dragon Ball, when I watched it the first time, was obviously not in order, ‘cause OG Dragon Ball was not playing on Cartoon Networ—Adult Swim.

ME: Yeah.

FRIEND: I got grounded a few times watching Adult Swim.

ME: (laughing) Of course, as do we all.

FRIEND: So I watched (Dragon Ball) Z first, but then you eventually go back and watched the other. To me, it’s better to watch an anime in chronological (order) because then it’s like, you’re just watching it pretty much…

ME: Like getting everything right off the bat of what’s going on?

FRIEND: From beginning to end, yeah.

GF: I think the only issue with Bungo is that since there are so many characters that are a part for their beginnings—for example, seeing the one clip of Lucy, where like—

ME: “Who’s that?”

GF: “Who’s that” and you’re not gonna see her for another six hours.

ME: (wheezes)

GF: Until she becomes plot-relevant.

FRIEND: And that’s fine though!

ME: It’s interesting because for example with Rimbaud, you know, you saw him at the very beginning of all this more or less, and then he reappeared later. Did that have any impact on your perspective with him—did you realize it was him at the time?

FRIEND: What’s the character again?

ME: He was the guy who had the yellow box ability.

FRIEND: I felt like there was something more to him. It’d be really weird to just have him as a bodyguard, like only one bodyguard in the entire Mafia. I’m like, “you’re also designed unique, you’re not just a normal background character” so there’s probably something important for you.

GF: I have a question. Who do you think the main character of the show is?

ME: (wheezes)

FRIEND: No one yet.

GF: Do you think we’ve seen the main character of the show yet?

FRIEND: No. It’s still too early.

ME: What if I told you we have seen the main character?

FRIEND: It’s the baby. (the one Oda picks up in the beginning of DEAD APPLE)

GF: (laughing) It’s the baby?!

ME: (laughing) The baby?!

FRIEND: The girl.

GF: (laughing) The one that Odasaku saved?

ME: (disbelieving) Kyusaku?! No wait—(wheezes)

GF: The one that Odasaku saved!

ME: Pleeeeeeease!

(laughter for a few seconds)

ME: (laughingly) Yes, how did you know? How did you know a seven-year-old is our protagonist of Bungo Stray Dogs?

FRIEND: Am I actually right?

ME & GF: No.

GF: (is not remembering) I don’t think that character—that was a random-ass kid.

FRIEND: (falling for it) Ah. I just thought, like, maybe the baby grows up to be… I mean, it’s none of the characters. I don’t want to assume.

GF: What’s her name…

ME: Lucy?

GF: No…

ME: Yosano.

GF: Umm… Season 5 little girl. Karate girl. (Aya)

ME: Oh. I don’t have clips for her.

GF: I know, but what’s her name, I forgot her name.

ME: (picturing Teruko) Oh, I can see her…

FRIEND: Steve.

GF: She’s that little girl that Odasaku saved!

ME: (laughing) Oh god—she’s not, but—

FRIEND: You can’t remember her name, so it could be Steve.

GF: Steve. I wanna say Anya but I know that’s not right.

FRIEND: Anya’s from SpyXFamily.

GF: I know… I associate the same name for some reason. (returning to original topic) You’ve seen about ten seconds of the main character of the show.

FRIEND: (jokingly) Oh. Arahabaki.

ME: (laughing) Yes, how did you know!? How did you know?! (moving on) I am curious who you think is the antagonist of the show.

FRIEND: (hasn’t moved on) Wait, is the main character that like, cat guy? The one that turned into a cat?

ME: (panicking internally) ...Maybe!

FRIEND: (immediately) It is.

ME: (wheezes)

FRIEND: I can read body language really well.

GF: Based on the reaction of “I’m not answering that”!

FRIEND: Whenever you don’t answer something, I’m like, “Yeah, okay, that’s the answer.”

GF: Who do you think the antagonist is then?

FRIEND: Not Mori. (thinking) I guess besides from Arahabaki? Because I feel like he’s gonna be a Sukuna situation.

ME: Interesting, interesting.

GF: I’d watch the fuck out of this show more if Chuuya was the villain, I’m gonna be honest.

ME: I mean, that’s fair.

FRIEND: Have we seen, like, a little clip of the villain at all?

GF: Oh yeah, we’ve seen him multiple times.

FRIEND: Oh, a couple times? (thinking) I don’t think it’s Mori. He’s the most obvious one.

ME: That’s fair. He’s very antagonistic, but he does… he has his moments.

FRIEND: He’s giving me weird vibes, because I’m like, “Is the Port Mafia a bad organization or a good organization?”

ME: That’s the question everyone asks themselves!

GF: Depends on who you are!

FRIEND: I like how they have the gi—the biggest building in the city.

ME: Oh yeah, no, it’s literally like Yokohama looks normal, and then there’s just this one fucking tower.

FRIEND: Are they a Mafia, or are they just an organization? There’s a difference!

GF: “Damn, where’s the Mafia hideout?”

ME: “I don’t know, guys!”

(laughter)

FRIEND: I would I guess say Mori just because he’s the most obvious one, but it’s probably not him. I don’t think it’s the scientist guy (Shibusawa) either.

ME: Interesting. What do you think of Natsume? That was the guy who had the cane.

FRIEND: The guy who got kidnapped?

ME: Yes, that was the guy who got kidnapped.

GF: During the play, yes.

FRIEND: I haven’t really seen much of him, so I don’t really know. I mean, I know him for two things: being stuck in a carpet and then giving out business cards.

ME: (wheezes)

FRIEND: That’s the only two things I know him by!

ME: That’s fair, that’s fair. What do you think of Yosano from the little bit you’ve seen of her?

FRIEND: Yosano?

ME: She was the infinite healing person.

FRIEND: Yeah. (thinking) ...Traumatized. She’ll probably have more screen time, maybe? She’s pretty important.

ME: What I will say is the majority of characters you have seen up to this point are recurring characters in present-time Bungo Stray Dogs.

FRIEND: I figured, yeah.

GF: You’re getting the backstories.

FRIEND: It’d be really weird if they just, never showed up again.

ME: Yeah, no. Well, as you can see with Fukuzawa for example, he has been a recurring character since the beginning. We saw him when he was a little kid, and then we saw him again in the future when he found Ranpo, and then we saw him again—like, he keeps showing up.

FRIEND: He’s important. (returning to original point) Yeah, I think we just got to see more of her. Really the only time I—I mean, she’s 11 at the time when we first meet her. Well, I mean not technically not when we first meet her. Just in the backstory.

ME: Yeah. So, out of curiosity, do you think any of the characters we have seen so far are main characters, meaning that they are main focus protagonists of the story?

FRIEND: I think Ranpo and Fukuzawa. I think they’re pretty important. I can’t imagine they’d make a duo like that and just not have them be too relevant. Even if they’re side characters, I think they’re still going to be important to the story. Obviously, the duo here, Dazai and Chuuya, I think that’s obvious. Oh, and Mori.

ME: So far, out of the different things that we have watched, different scenes, arcs, do you have a favorite amongst the ones that you have watched over the last three hours?

FRIEND: I’m a big shonen fan, so probably the fight scene against Randou and the boss, technically. I like well-made fight scenes. Even if they’re kind of short. If they’re well-made, I like them.

ME: I can respect that, that’s fair. Do you have a least favorite arc or scene of what you saw previously?

FRIEND: I guess… it’s not even bad, it’s just compared to the others, the war scene? Like the war part? Just feels out of place to me, until I see more of it. Compared to the other parts, it was like “ehh, did we need? The war?”

ME: We did need the war, because the Great War is very important.

FRIEND: But yeah. For right now!

ME: For right now!

FRIEND: Compared to the other arcs it was the weakest.

ME: Out of the antagonists that we’ve seen so far, who is your favorite?

FRIEND: Probably Mori. I can understand he’s the most well-written right now.

ME: That’s fair. I would say that Mori is overall a very well-written character in Bungo Stray Dogs.

FRIEND: That’s why—I think when you watch Dragon Ball, when we get to Frieza—incredibly racist.

ME: (flabbergasted) ...Okay?

FRIEND: Well, Saiyans, you know, they have tails? So what do you think is a slur they call them. (brief silence) He calls them monkeys. It doesn’t help that when they look at a full moon, they turn into a great ape.

GF: Why have I never seen that?

FRIEND: It’s pretty iconic!

GF: I’ve never seen one as an ape.

ME: So, wait, Goku turns into…?

FRIEND: It’s a whole thing. There’s a reason he doesn’t have a tail later on.

ME: Wait, so is the tail the reason they turn into an ape?

FRIEND: Yep. They can’t without it. Saiyans are born with tails.

ME: ...Fascinating.

GF: (goes to look up Goku as an ape)

FRIEND: In OG Dragon Ball, he has a tail. He turns into a great ape—it takes a lot of control. Goku—he doesn’t find out he’s a Saiyan until way later.

GF: (found it) I’ve never seen this monkey before… Like every screenshot and clip I’ve seen of Dragon Ball I’ve never seen a great ape on screen.

FRIEND: It’s more important in OG Dragon Ball and then the beginning of Z. After that…

ME: It’s not really talked about anymore?

FRIEND: No, because they bring in Super Saiyan. Which takes the storm for transformations.

ME: Actually, on that note, you told me you do a lot of power-leveling for Dragon Ball.

FRIEND: Not just Dragon Ball. Everything.

ME: Well, that’s perfect because I’m curious to see what you would rank the abilities you’ve seen so far on screen. So obviously I’ve not conveyed to you everyone’s ability, but from the abilities that you’ve recognized, how would you rank them?

FRIEND: How am I ranking them? (sassy) Do you want me to scale them?

ME: (sassy back) Maybe.

FRIEND: If that’s the case, no offense, they’re block level. Like, city block level. That’s kind of it. They’re not gonna be planetary or anything. Like, Goku as a ten-year-old—and it’s saying a lot—beats them. He was able to blow up the moon.

ME: That’s not very cash money of him.

FRIEND: He was not the one that did it, ‘cause remember, he turned into a great ape, so, there’s only one option they had. The moon gets blown up twice in the show.

ME: Why? How does it get better from the first time?!

FRIEND: Dragon balls. You can make any wish on a dragon ball.

ME: What?! ...And he wished for the moon to come back?

FRIEND: Well, yeah, the Earth kinda needs the moon.

ME: Well yeah, yeah. (mimicking Snapcube Dub) “It’s gonna have like an effect on the tides or something.”

FRIEND: Yeah, and all the astrologists out there. (returning slightly back) The person he was fighting was the same level to blow up the moon, and at the beginning of Z he’s able to destroy planets.

ME: Gotcha.

FRIEND: Pretty easily. A whole level of difference in power. (returning back to original point) Yeah, but at most I’d say they’re city block level. They’re not leveling cities or anything.

ME: That makes sense. How would you rank their abilities in comparison to each other?

FRIEND: If we’re counting to experience, because I haven’t seen Mori’s—

ME: You have seen Mori’s.

FRIEND: ...Is it the medicine girl?

ME: Yeah. Elise is his ability.

FRIEND: So she’s a fucking Stand, from Jojo. (moment of confusion from me) A Stand is like another being that they can control.

ME: Yes.

FRIEND: So he has a Stand. I know where they got that from—that’s from Jojo.

GF: It’s a reference to a very old Japanese… book?

ME: It’s based off Mori Ougai’s written works.

FRIEND: (laughingly) Well, so when was that?

ME: So, basically the whole thing with Mori and Elise is Elise is based off—oh god, I’m gonna say this wrong and I’m gonna get absolutely slaughtered for it when I post this—Mori Ougai’s The Dancing Girl. (I WAS CORRECT)

FRIEND: And when was that? Out? (The answer is 1890.)

ME: It’s old. So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet, Bungo Stray Dogs features characters that are named after famous authors.

FRIEND: Yeah.

ME: For example, Yosano Akiko, we have Mori Ougai… she was very briefly there but Kouyou Ozaki, although—

FRIEND: (jokingly) Where’s the J.K. Rowling character?

ME: There is not one! I think the only actual British character we have that’s only really been seen like once or twice is Agatha Christie.

FRIEND: It could’ve been Gordon Ramsay.

GF: Is he—does he count as an author?!

FRIEND: He’s made cookbooks!

ME: I mean, I guess if you count that!

FRIEND: He’s had published books!

ME: So—that’s another thing, their Abilities and their lives are based off of the books that these authors have written, so it’s one of those things where their Abilities are literally named after things they’ve written. For example… (clicks tongue) I’m trying to think of an example…

FRIEND: Is there an Edgar Allan Poe character?

ME: ...Yes.

FRIEND: (immediately) There is.

ME: Yes, there is.

FRIEND: That’s a pretty big author!

ME: He is in fact in this.

FRIEND: (thoughtfully) Does Shakespeare count?

ME: (immediately) Shakespeare is not in this.

FRIEND: Damn.

GF: It’s all authors from the 18 to early 1900’s. We don’t have any, like, historic authors. There’s no Odyssey.

ME: Could you imagine if Homer was in there?

FRIEND: Just a nine foot jacked guy.

ME: The characters that have been shown in Bungo Stray Dogs, there have been Russians/Ukrainian authors, there’s been American authors, Japanese authors… Trying to think if there’s anyone else off the top of my head, but I think… I mean, technically Canadian… because Lucy Montgomery’s Canadian… So there’s a variety. Season 2 is around when you’ll really get to see some of the Americans. Which will be a while, so. It’ll be several hours before you see any Americans. I mean you saw technically an American (Lucy).

FRIEND: Can’t wait to see the Snoop Dogg character.

ME: Please. (sadly) There is no Snoop Dogg character, sadly. (thinking) I’ll give an example. With Edgar Allan Poe, his ability is The Black Cat in the Rue Morgue.

FRIEND: Okay, that’s fair.

ME: That’s his ability. I’m not gonna tell you what it is. You’ll find out eventually. (returning to original point) Basically, it’s different works—it could be poems, it could be stories—Fukuzawa’s ability—which he does have one—is actually based—it’s All Men Are Equal, which actually comes from a treatise encouraging education that he wrote.

FRIEND: Thought it was gonna be the Declaration of Independence.

ME: (laughing) Nooo, nooo, not quite. Which actually, I started reading that treatise out of curiosity.

FRIEND: I thought you were going to say the Declaration of Independence.

ME: (jokingly) “I started reading the Declaration of Independence. Um, I’ve come to notice some uhhh clear exceptions in there?”

FRIEND: (half-jokingly) I mean, I’m fine.

ME: (jokingly) Okay.

FRIEND: Just saying.

ME: (jokingly) I see how it is.

(various threats of kicking occur including one instance where I am called short; my girlfriend asks me how does it feel since I’m constantly making fun of how short she is /affectionate)

ME: I was reading his whole writing about encouraging education, it was interesting because I could see how the character Fukuzawa could be pulled from what he had written about, so it’s cool seeing the different aspects of these characters through their writings. (moving on) Do you have any guesses, hypotheses about what will happen in the future of Bungo Stray Dogs?

FRIEND: (immediately) They’re all dead.

GF: (starts cackling)

ME: I mean! You’re not wrong! He’s right, but he shouldn’t say it!

(all of us laughing)

FRIEND: You said guess!

ME: (laughingly) I was talking more specifically like, “oh, what do you think will happen to characters?”

FRIEND: “Oh, made by Bones? They’re all dead.”

ME: I mean—

GF: He’s not wrong!

ME: He’s not wrong, but he shouldn’t say it!

(friend laughing)

ME: No, but like, what do you think will happen for potential characters in the future, do you think certain characters are gonna show up or not show up again?

FRIEND: I’m not going to be that knowledgeable about authors, so I can’t really say on that one. I think we’ll maybe see more organization leaders, characters meeting—like characters we’ve already seen meeting.

ME: I can confirm that.

FRIEND: I think Arahabaki is probably going to be a big thing for the show.

ME: (in the know) Really?

FRIEND: (not in the know) I feel like there’s something there.

ME: Interesting.

FRIEND: I mean, the chaos was him transforming with the corruption. It’s gotta be something. You can’t just be like, “oh, yeah, there’s like a thing inside of you” and never…

ME: So what I will say with Corruption is it does come up again later in the series, so this is not the last time you’ll see it.

FRIEND: I figured.

ME: It also was introduced in Storm Bringer.

FRIEND: Which technically is before what we just saw?

ME: Storm Bringer came between 15, which was the bit with Dazai and Chuuya, and the Dragon’s Head Conflict. (incorrectly) So in the few months between that period of time—(realization) actually, it takes place a year after Dazai, Chuuya, 15. So at that point, they’re Dazai, Chuuya, 16! :D

FRIEND: Yeah.

(mac n cheese questioning and discussions)

ME: Any final thoughts about Bungo Stray Dogs?

FRIEND: I think it’s good.

ME: (claps hands together) Thank you for letting me put you through three hours of this!

-

He has not seen the entirety of BSD yet. Some other fun things:

Almost immediately called Dazai a masochist bottom. I lost my shit while watching.

We have seen Atsushi once, which is when he's being tortured by Shibusawa (and proceeds to kill him).

He has not seen full-blown Corruption, just the brief tidbit from DEAD APPLE.

I am surprised he didn't mention Fyodor considering how every time he reappeared (Origins of the DOA, DEAD APPLE) he was like "oh hey it's that guy".

We watched two hours and forty minutes. I rounded up.

Yes, I am still working on this. Still trying to put it together + figure out where to put it for sharing.

It's so interesting how the order in which we watch has affected his perspective of character importance. He seems to think Fukuzawa and Ranpo are like, the big father-son duo of the series. Curious to see his reaction once he realizes they're not.

I love that he thinks Arahabaki is going to be this big deal. This is the funniest thing he could've clung onto.

He has not read the manga.

[jenniferlawrencelover]

All I Want For Christmas is You (Deadpool Edition)-CHAPTER ONE

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Logan Howlett/Worst! Wolverine

Rating: Explicit (MDNI)

Summary:

Wade never thought he would be engaged again.

And he wasn’t.

Yet.

Wade never thought he would be engaged again.

And he wasn't.

Yet.

*

DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS: 26

"Bub, if you don't move your ass out of my face—"

"You weren't saying that last night, sugar butt," Wade shot back with a grin, wiggling his hips just to be annoying. He was balanced precariously on a stepladder, trying to hang a glittery, excessively large tree topper. It was a special ornament to Wade because it was the first thing Wade had stolen for Logan after he saw it in the window of some fancy-ass home decor shop downtown. Wade knew that Logan would absolutely hate it, and therefore he knew he just had to have it. It helped that technically he was already banned from this particular store, because what were they going to do? Ban him again? You can't double-ban him.

Logan did call the cops on him for theft when he brought it home because he's an asshole, but that was neither here nor there.

The ladder wobbled as Wade pushed up to his tiptoes, and Logan's hand shot out and held onto Wade's legs to keep him from toppling over. "You're gonna knock the whole damn tree over," Logan grumbled, eyeing the ornament that Wade was determined to hang despite it being several sizes too big for the spot.

"But think about how majestic it'll look!" Wade finally managed to secure the topper, hopping down from the ladder with a flourish. "Voila!"

Wade took a step back, admiring their work. The tree was a monstrosity of clashing colors and mismatched ornaments. Some baubles dangled precariously from flimsy branches, while others were wedged in tight clusters as if a miniature ornament explosion had occurred. The base was an overstuffed jumble of tinsel, clashing with the bold, mismatched garlands draped haphazardly across its branches. The strands of lights, a patchwork of different colors and sizes, flickered erratically as if they were struggling to make sense of their tangled surroundings. At one point, Wade had seen a spark come from a few of the bulbs, but he was sure that wouldn't be a plot point that was of anything of importance (hint: it was).

The ornaments themselves were oversized, glittery baubles in electric blue and neon pink, intermixed with tiny glass figurines of reindeer and snowmen that seemed to be fighting for space on the same branch. A collection of homemade ornaments—some crafted with excessive amounts of glue and glitter, and all created by moi—were proudly displayed, hanging at odd angles. Among these were paper angels and beaded snowflakes that had clearly seen better days.

At the top of the tree, the crowning glory was the topper Wade had stubbornly hung—a massive, shimmering star that looked like it had been stolen from a Vegas showgirl's headdress. It was practically drowning in sparkles and sequins, casting a dazzling, if somewhat blinding, light that flickered across the room.

The tree skirt, a gaudy mishmash of red and green sequins, was barely visible under the heap of presents Wade had insisted on wrapping in overly festive, holiday-themed paper with garish ribbons. The whole setup was completed with a few hastily strewn candy canes and an abundance of stray glitter that would inevitably find its way into every crevice of their apartment.

Logan crossed his arms, his eyebrows knitted together in a familiar expression of disapproval. "It's an eyesore."

"An eyesore?" Wade exclaimed, feigning shock. "This is a masterpiece! You know, people pay big bucks for this kind of thing."

Logan snorted, unconvinced. "People like you, maybe. I've seen better decorations at a fucking dollar store."

Wade reached up to adjust a strand of lights that had come loose, his fingers deftly rearranging them until they were just right. "Well, I think she's beautiful. And if you will be a good Wolvie and actually help me, maybe later you can even stuff my stocking."

"You're fucking disgusting," Logan snarled.

Wade grinned cheekily, still fiddling with the decorations. "Oh, come on. It's Christmas. I'm just trying to spread a little holiday cheer." He glanced at Logan with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And I know how much you love my festive cheer."

"And by that-"

"And by that, I mean this sweet, sweet ass sugar gum drop," Wade crooned, tucking himself into Logan's warm, broad chest. They stood there for a moment, the soft glow of the Christmas lights casting a warm mirage of light over the room. Wade sighed contentedly, his head resting against Logan's chest. Logan didn't reply, but his arms tightened around Wade.

"You know, we should probably christen the tree properly," Wade remarked, eyes fixated on the flickering lights.

Wade was a huge fan of christening things. Everything had to be christened. Everything. New suit after it was destroyed in a particular marathon of rough sex after a mission? Christened. Logan finally upgraded from a flip phone to an iPhone? Christened. Just bought milk? Christened. 

Did it have to do with the fact that his boyfriend had a body sculpted by the gods and a libido that could match a rabbit high on an aphrodisiac? No, and actually, it's offensive that you would think Wade would reduce his boyfriend down to his sex appeal. What kind of monster do you think he is? Wade's relationship with Logan was multi-faceted, like a diamond with a thousand facets—

You know what? Fine. So what? Is it a crime that Wade likes to have long, raunchy, maybe a little masochistic, probably a little too rough for Disney, outdo-50-Shades-of-Grey-and-eat-your-heart-out-BDSM-etiquette sex with his boyfriend? It's not like Logan's complaining—well, except when he pretends to be exasperated with Wade, which is just part of his charm. Get off his ass, or maybe eat it while you're down there.

Wade's lips brushed Logan's ear as he whispered in a sultry, teasing voice, "Maybe a few strategic baubles to enhance the mood. I could even drape some tinsel over us like a sexy holiday blanket. Just me, you, some eggnog—"

"You mean that shit you made in the blender? I don't think eggnog is supposed to be that color."

"It's a festive green. Besides, I added extra nutmeg. Trust me."

Logan gave him an unconvinced look, clearly not buying it.

"Come on," Wade whined, turning around in Logan's arms and pouting up at him. "It's Christmas-"

"It's not Christmas, it's November."

"-I've even put up some Mistletoe. Are you really willing to disrespect the ritualistic customs of Mistletoe? What kind of monster are you?" Wade says aghast, clutching at the invisible pearls.

Logan didn't respond at first, his gaze scanning the room before flickering back to Wade. "I don't see any mistletoe."

Wade wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, his grin widening. "It's hidden. Wanna take off my pants and find out where?"

Snikt

[mrs-monaghan]

omg all these ppl sharing tehir friends being tkkr/ynmnr remind me this bitch from my university dorm! you know we were dorm mates w this one girl. starting from fist day of semester I had this weird feeling about her (not related to her being a tkkr but her whole vibe was off) while talking about interests and hobbies we kinda realized we have similar tastes in certain things.

she told me that she’s into bts and we started talking about them. everything was fine until out of nowhere she told me that she believes that tkkr are a couple and I feel like she was trying to fish an answer out of me ykno about tkk dating. she was kinda trying to test me if that makes sense. after that I told her that I’m a hard core jm stan and that why I’m leaning more towards duos that include jm and I’m not kidding you shaz her whole demeanor changed and the look she gave me was just horrendous. and I didn’t even told her tkk couldn’t be real because jk and jm are literally dating but change was drastic!

after that she keep giving me cold feet and randomly showing “cute tkk art” which was humanloure or whatever that btchs name and when I told her to stop showing me weird things she became super defensive (I wasn’t try to be an asshole it was just getting weird the way she was trying to prove me tkkr is real by showing ugly ass fanarts ) when I told her about my discomfort she would say things like “but they are cute” “they look so good together” “anyways they are dating”

when she kept doing this I totally stopped talking to her and just ignored her ass that whole semester. we weren’t best friends or anything just dorm mates. i just wanted to share this because before all of this happened to me I just thought that there’s no way a irl tkkr would act the way they are acting in online spaces but those weirdos we saw on report pages are literally exist irl

Of course they do. I like to think online personalities are an extension of RL personalities. So of course this is how they are out there too!!

This is my Facebook cover photo, right?

A friend of mine from the Gallavich (shameless) fandom saw this and she was so excited! But at the time of seeing my cover photo she also noticed I kept sharing JK in my stories (dreamers had just dropped) and so she didn't know if I was gonna turn out to be vermin. So it took her months... months! To even DM me. She didn't do it until she saw me in the comment section of Jikook public group.

I asked her why she never told me sooner that she was Army and she told me that she didn't want to ruin our friendship. So it was better for her not to know. And you know what? That made sense to me. I was like, fair enough.

I mentioned before that my baby got attached to shot glass of tears, right? It was the only song that could get her to sleep. So one time I'm just pushing the pram around a shop and the cashier comes up to me like "is that JK?" And of course we started to gush. She told me that she was Taegi biased and immediately I went "are you a Taekooker?" You know, I didn't want to waste time. I needed to know quite early on. She told me she almost became one due to the edits on YouTube and that it was the reason she stepped away from the fandom. That's why she didn't even know about SGOT or GOLDEN. Coz she left when she saw she was starting to become one of them 😂

I commended her for it and currently we are friends. Her self awareness saved her basically 😂 So yes, anon. The way they are online is the way they are in person. That's why I always say a Vminkook concert wouldn't be the best idea 🤭🤭🤭

[occasionalrpmemes]

Amigo the Devil: Volume 1 Starters

sentences taken from the 2015 album. edit as desired. warning: this one does NOT pass the Hayes Code lmao. content includes, but is not limited to: sex, violence (both domestic and otherwise), alcohol, strong language, religion, general moral degeneracy, et cetera

It's all for you.

I'd rot in hell with you, if you'd just ask me to.

Come on, believe me, follow me home, there's no judgement here.

Take the shot.

This night is going to end horribly for someone.

I'm not so much afraid of letting go as much as scared of giving up.

Open up to me.

The Devil came and sold his fucking soul to me!

If I've hurt you, please forgive me. Love makes you do funny things.

This fire feels so real.

Don't say a word, my darling. I know how you feel.

On rainy days, we'll drink until the gray is left in nothing but our hair.

I know you want it, too.

I'll lay by your side 'til everything is rotten through.

Tonight, we'll celebrate life! Eat the best food and drink the best wine.

I hope your husband dies.

Are you feeling upside down or even empty inside?

Meet me down by the bar. We'll go and take this drink out to the stars.

Death is just one moment.

Some people follow rules, some people go around.

As an elephant, I'm only really relevant when I'm standing in the room.

I am the son of an asshole.

No one deserves my world quite like you do.

I'm not so much afraid of being alone, just kind of feel I've had enough.

God knows I'll do what I need.

These hands are stronger than you're led to believe.

We'll never have a house to decorate, a place that we can call our home.

If I can't have you, nobody will.

There's only one thing in this life that makes us living.

I want to be where all the stupid shit I say sounds so romantic and true.

Live with me in this sin forever.

There's nothing left to lose, 'cuz I've already lost it all.

Tonight, I'll follow you home and start up a fire that'll keep us both warm.

Hang around, let down your hair.

So you should start to undress and just… try a little less.

Now you're with this asshole- you expect me to believe it's gonna last?

Let me have this dance with you.

Your eyes look like diamonds still stuck inside the mines.

When your tongue is putrid and your skin is sagging down, I'll stick around.

It's true, I hate everything but you.

We'll laugh a little, drink a little, see what you're made of.

All the bridges in the world won't lead you back to fix what couldn't be erased.

This fairytale just ain't coming true.

I'll drive my car like I stole it, drink at the bar like I own it.

These wrinkles are the maps of all the places we went no one else would dare.

I'd rather have a reason I should stay.

There's always gonna be a better high, and a lower down.

We take things a little far, but you couldn't name a place I wouldn't go with you.

I'm capable of making you disappear.

I have a couple different faces if you need a place to hide.

The time we spent together when the light was out became my thought of you.

I am the agent that decides your fate.

There's only one kind of people in the world: people who die!

It doesn't matter what you've heard or if you're good or bad and everything between.

I love the shitty things we do together.

It's been a while since I've held anything as close as I have you.

I'd like to live my life just like a dog. Humble as can be and unconditional in everything I love.

I'll make you famous one way or another.

Home is the last place that I'd stand to be with anyone but you.

I'd crawl in bed with you. Even in someone else's blood, on top of someone else's love, in the worst motel we find.

This life is a maze with only one way out.

Every dime spent is worth looking good- and that's Hollywood!

They'll write about our story here for years to come and maybe even more, cuz there's never been a love like this before.

I'll cut to the chase, just don't try to leave.

Trust me, I'm not jealous, I'm just hoping that he really messes up.

When I had you near me I just couldn't think of anything to say, but now that I'm alone, I got the perfect things to tell you everyday.

We'll leave the world the way dreamers do.

All the parties we can throw - we'll dress like anything we please!

All the distance that we've spent apart will never have to mean a thing. Every mile I traveled was to find the perfect stone to fit your ring.

Living in the moment's hard when everything I want is in the past.

When the night falls, out comes the terror.

Your heart will always have a place to live with nothing left to be.

[judithan-xing]

i just wanna ramble about my characters n character designs, specifically Alvatresk and Yuri cuz theyre so *scrungles them*

pretty much Alvatresk is a character that has existed since ??? 2010?? i wanna say??? he's OLD OLD like i made this bitch in middle school and a lot of my original art of him was made with a mouse.

of those; the first one was done with a mouse, the second one I had finally gotten a tablet but for some reason i was OBSESSED with putting that god awful texture on fucking everything. I don't know. I was like 13. but alvatresk originally suffered from Weird Fucking Hair Accessories TM cuz i wanted him to have this weird star hair thing???? its. odd. I don't know. I just don't make em like I used to, i guess.

but also it's just really funny to me seeing how much the idea was Kinda there but also not at all. his vibe is weird, he's got weird neck stitches?? his outfit is sloppy and weirdly constructed. I don't know.

But then Yuri is even weirder cuz originally his name was fucking Pierre??? I'm not kidding. His name was originally Pierre Eskde Lara'icardo. I don't know. I don't make em like I used to.

The fucking belts. my god.

but yeah in 2013-2014 I spent like a full year working on their story and crafting it into what I thought was gonna be a jrpg, little did i realize how fucking hard game dev is/was. so that's kinda impossible forever. but like, looking at their outfits I do really like the general vibe of them. This last year I was quick to kinda throw them away to redesign them 'better' and I'm looking at the redesigns and I kinda took away all the personality Yuri's outfit had. His original outfit looks a bit juvenile but it has this quality to it that just. idk it Fits. It's Him. You look at him (especially the top middle pic) and you know what he's like.

I feel like with the redesign I made Alvatresk look more appropriate to who he is (a tired asshole who's working class and can and will kill), where as Yuri I kinda just turned him into jrpg prince slop. He's cute and all but he lacks the kinda casualness that his other outfit inherently has. I also redesigned their starform outfits and in an attempt to make them more fashionable i kinda stripped away the design language that made them read as like, People.

for these illustrations i went back to Yuri's original outfit and just kinda unified the elements (matching string color and a more grounded understanding of how the fabrics would lay) and I feel it makes him look more like the original vision. And for Alvatresk's art i gave him back his original starform outfit cuz GOD i really nailed it, even for being like 17 when I designed it. All it needed was some touch ups and more human man proportions.

also a fun touch is that their starform designs their hair changes color to their element (alvatresk has dark magic so he gets black hair, while yuri has light magic so he gets white hair) and i just. theyre literally each other's half.

anyway this has been a rant about design language and my decisions to do/undo shit and also these bitches gay.

edit; I DID THOSE REDESIGNS THREE YEARS AGO??? HUH?????? i thought that was like. last year. at the latest. what the fuck. it really was the guilt of genshin-ification of my ocs. damn

[azure-firecracker]

ATLA Live Action Stream of Consciousness (Episode 7, Part 1).

Did Ozai try to try Zuko in the original? Did I just forget that? EDITING PHOEBE: It was Zhao but yes that did happen I just have a shit memory.

Does Zhao have enough pull for that?

They definitely didn’t know that he was the Blue Spirit (in the OG)

Nice moment between Zuko and the lieutenant though.

Yeah this is new but I like it. Makes Zhao scarier (editing me: No it’s not)

Aang: Zuko seemed so… Me: Sad.

Okay Northern water tribe is like the only thing that looked significantly better animated. The CGI detail usually looks good but here it drains some of the color (especially the purple)

Arnook…lowkey can’t act.

Why did they do that to Yue’s hair lmao? I have a specific reference I’m thinking of that I’ll link here. (There’s multiple photos in this article. It’s the one with the big hair).

Zhao is a better liar than I remember. But like if he’s this competent now will that diminish Azula’s effect if they get a book 2? Part of why she worked so well was that Zhao was not the best villain.

On the “below average” stuff with Azula: I think it works for this iteration of the character but it’s not in keeping with the original. I wish they’d kept it closer to the original since it’s important to show different kinds of abuse, and I think OG Ozai would only say those things to Azula behind closed doors, but I think it works in isolation.

LIZZY YU IS ACTING HER ASS OFF.

“That I’m the one” who what? Interesting writing choice there. They feel the need to overexplain everything else but they can’t finish this line.

Sokka’s humor is coming through.

Aaw this is a cute Aang and Katara moment.

I liked Pakku as a straight up sexist asshole in the original but I’m not sure that that would have translated so well so I’m glad they gave him some half decent moments.

IS YUE DOING MAGIC?

Aaw Yue’s getting some more cute moments that’s sweet. I love original Yue but I like her candid, grounded moments here. She feels more fleshed out. She and Sokka are cute too.

I like Sokka’s arc but give Katara some of that characterization.

Wait was Yue the fox spirit? Why did they make that choice? How does it serve the narrative?

Hahn doesn’t suck now! Not sure how I feel about that since Yue’s tragedy was not about who she was marrying in the first place, rather about the fact that she had to get married.

“My friends helped me” Aang tbf it was mostly you.

I like that we’re getting some more exploration into healing.

Are they finally gonna let Katara be angry? PLEASE do!

My dad asked why Sokka is wearing so much lipstick.

OH Yue broke off her engagement that’s NEW. Where are they gonna go with this?

Kuruk development that’s cool!

Gordon who tf wrote your dialogue in this scene (and how many times have I written that question in some form or another?)

Why are we into LOK spirit world stuff? This remake can’t handle the material it has.

Can we have one character without an angsty backstory please?

They need to stop harping in this “the hero needs to do everything alone” idea it’s overdone.

They should have given Yue white eyebrows.

This is new and I don’t mind it (with Yue)-confirms my theory that she was supposed to be the avatar.

See Sokka does have a good heart but you can’t make that the center of his character it’s also the center of everyone else’s character. Why does the whole main trio seem the same?

I hate this Aang/Kuruk scene it’s so generic.

More on the way (Y’all KNOW I have thoughts on part 2).

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 169/332

2016 Bahrain GP

Okayyy so Lewis is on pole again. His time is the record for the track. Then he was reprimanded for reversing in the pitlane, he had to go to the stewards about it and we thought for a moment he might lose the pole. 

But he didn't!

The quali process is still being revised after the Australian fiasco. I have no idea what it looked like there. The proposal for the next race is absurd. Apparently they want to add up the best 2 lap times for some reason, then eliminate 7 drivers per session and the Q3 would set the top 8? Ridiculous. Bernie is being an asshole about it btw. Journalists are asking him questions like "why can't we go back to last year's system?" and his answer is "well because we've changed it haven't we?"

Ted says that the aggregate system (so what I've just described) is the only proposal on the table at that point because the hybrid system that basically would be new system for Q1 + Q2 and old system for Q3 is vetoed by Horner/RedBull. 

Johnny Herbert interviews Lewis on the drivers’ truck. He says he had to work for his pole and Lewis says he always does.

He's happy with it though. Johnny asks who he's listening to and it's Travis Scott. Johnny asks if he has some of his own music on there and Lewis says loads, but refuses to give us a listen.

Johnny asks if he's concerned about the challenge the Ferraris pose. Lewis says he doesn't get concerned. They're very conscious of their pace and that they're gonna be quick. It's gonna be tricky. It's important to first get off the line well and then take it from there. 

Well let's hope they get a better start than in the first round. 

Oh but it was very close. Nico was only 0.077 seconds off Lewis. Anyway behind them it's Seb, obvi, Raikkonen, obvi, then Daniel, Valtteri, Massa, Hulkenberg, Grosjean, and Verstappen.

Oh. Alonso is not racing today. He was not cleared to run by the FIA doctor because he fractured ribs in his crash in Australia. OH AND HE ALSO HAS A COLLAPSED LUNG. How the fuck did he seem okay in the postrace?! Lol apparently Johnny suggested it might be time for him to retire and I can't believe he's still there 7 years later. Anyway Alonso is replaced by Stoffel Vandoorne. 

Uhh Lewis arrived dressed like a Bahraini today.

Anyway, there's an interview. He's asked what he needs to drive a car fast. He says he was fearless and his dad put him in a car and he bombed it around the track. "And straight away I felt at home." He says in his first 5-10 laps he picked up the braking technique that he used his whole karting career. That's the motion that gives him the know-how of when to push and when he's going too fast or too slow towards the apex. He says it fascinates him how the mind works because they're looking so far ahead, planning like 100-200 metres ahead. He says it's not tunnel vision, he feels like he's seeing 180°, he says as he spreads his arms. "I can't see my hand right now, but somehow when I'm driving, all the sudden I can see there."

(i feel like they could've edited Johnny's sweaty armpits from it but well.)

ohhh all of a sudden the moment he said "it's like targeting with a gun" in the last build up makes sense. Idk why they chose to only broadcast that part without the sentence he said before that. So he's testing the new car and he says, as he's driving : "there are things that I'm looking for. It's just like targeting… Like with a gun. You're targeting the turn points." He says last year he was struggling and was trying to figure out what was the issue and then he raised his seat 5 millimetres and it changed the whole world. What about breathing? Yes, if you get the breathing right it helps you flow through it. But that's not something he needs to focus on in the car, it comes naturally. "To be honest I don't even know if I'm breathing during the race." He says he feels he doesn't breathe during the start. We're back in the car with him. He says braking feels like having an elephant on your back or leaning against you. You kind of lose breath. Johnny says Hunt used to say if you have an over steering car you can always drive it fast, whether understeering cars are a pain. Lewis says he generally likes a car that's gonna turn. (I mean. Yeah.) Johnny brings it back to his debuts. He says he was very impressive with that when he first arrived. Lewis says now he has to bring it back a bit and find better balance whether before he didn't have to worry about the rear tyres dropping off as much. Now you can lean on your front tyres more but the rear are very delicate. He says he thinks the problem with racing now is that you've got all these driver coaches, mind coaches, "which is all a bunch of [beeped]". He says it's because of insecure people who think they need those things. "Some people need that, weirdly," Johnny says. "They don't," Lewis says. "You don't think so?" – "Nooo, you just get lost, you don't need it." (Honestly not agreeing with this conversation at all.) Anyway he says you just gotta trust yourself. He says people start listening to a bunch of noise around which is not the important stuff. The important stuff is the more detailed things.

Ohhh you know what. I thought I saw her in the last race, her familiar blond ponytail next to Lewis' car. But she had her back turned so I wasn't sure and I ended up scrapping it from my review. But this time I can see her clear as day. It's Angela!

I did not think about when we'd be meeting her, for some reason. I'm so happy to see her though! 

Okay. It's time for the race. Formation lap. Nico struggled to get away. Ohhhh no. Seb was going slowly. Over the radio he says he might have an engine failure. And right after we hear it, there's a cloud of white smoke following him. It's already over for him. 

And here we go! The others are racing!

And Nico gets a better start, he takes the lead. OH NO CONTACT INTO TURN ONE, VALTTERI AND LEWIS CAME TOGETHER. There's damage. Oh it's a catastrophic start. Fuck. So it's Nico, Massa, Valtteri, Ricciardo, Raikkonen, Grosjean, Gutierrez, Hulkenberg, Lewis is P9!, and Sainz. No, he's still losing places, I think. "Something feels wrong with the rear," he says. Oh here he comes! Gaining again! He's sending sparkles everywhere as he goes though. Valtteri says things feel fine for him. At the end of lap 1 Lewis is P7. OH MORE CONTACT ! Sainz and Perez. Sainz has a puncture. The Saubers are racing each other, pushing one off track. On lap 5 Lewis is up to P6. Meanwhile Raikkonen overtakes Ricciardo for P4. Lewis is on him as well. The car seems drivable enough. And Ricciardo pits. Lewis is P5 as Raikkonen overtakes Valtteri for P3. Again Lewis is right there as well. Closing. Ohhh Jenson is stopping. Away from the track so no interruption. And Massa pits, so Raikkonen in P2 while Lewis overtakes Valtteri for P3! Gorgeous classic move! They were side by side into the corner but Lewis had the inside line and ended up in front. But Nico is 13 seconds in the lead. Valtteri pits. It's weird. Everyone is pitting at different times. Valtteri gets a drive through penalty for the start.

And it's lap 10. Nico, Raikkonen (+13.4), Lewis (+15.8), Grosjean, Verstappen, Vandoorne, Kvyat, Wehrlein, Nasr, Ericsson. Verstappen and Hulkenberg almost collide as the first one rejoins after his pitstop. There's loads of carbon fibre on track flying everywhere and hitting tyres. And a lot of overtaking in the midfield as well. Right now Vandoorne and Perez are battling through several corners, and Vandoorne wins. Raikkonen pits. He exits behind Ricciardo and Massa as the first overtakes the other and immediately goes for it as well! It's close racing! But he's ahead. He's now hunting Ricciardo. Mercedes mechanics readying themselves. Rosberg pits. It's quick. And Lewis pits as well, wow! 2.4 stop! Great job! I can't immediately say what the order is but Lewis is P6. Raikkonen overtook both Ricciardo and Kvyat! Damn. There's a lot happening in this race! Lewis has a lot of places to make up for now. Perez, Valtteri and Hulkenberg are battling for P10! And Ricciardo overtakes Kvyat while simultaneously, right behind them, Lewis overtakes Massa! Everything is happening so fast that the standings screen can't keep up, Crofty says. Raikkonen is setting fastest lap after fastest lap. And Massa attacks Kvyat. Ooo that was close but it stays clean. Lewis is closing on Ricciardo. And that's P3! Grosjean and Massa are battling over P5. And now Verstappen is closing on Massa. 

Lap 20! Nico, Raikkonen (+12.1), Lewis(+20.8), Ricciardo, Grosjean, Verstappen, Massa, Vandoorne, Bottas, Ericsson. It's gonna be difficult changing the order of that top 3 but we're not even halfway through. Lewis is matching Raikkonen's lap times even though he's on mediums and Raikkonen is on softs so… Grosjean overtakes Ricciardo for P4. Then Ricciardo pits and he's P11. Soon after he's back up in P8. Verstappen pits from P5, out in P10. Grosjean pits from P4, out in P8 while Ricciardo overtakes Kvyat, or rather Kvyat lets Ricciardo past for P5. Lewis pits from P3. He's still P3. Daniel is now P4 while Raikkonen pits from P2 and is still P2 and Verstappen is already up in P8. 

It's lap 30. Nico pits. 5.3 stop, not great, but he's so far ahead anyway, it doesn't matter. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Sainz DNFs, back in the garage. I'm trying to give you an overview but they're not showing the timings. Grosjean is closing on Kvyat for P5. Okay here we go so Nico is now 8.8 ahead of Raikkonen who's 3.5 ahead of Lewis. Then about 25 seconds down it's Daniel and Kvyat, followed by Grosjean, Verstappen, Bottas, Vandoorne (who's doing a good job btw) and Massa. Grosjean overtakes Kvyat now. Oooh. Big lock up for Kvyat a few minutes later that allows Verstappen to overtake him as well. Big battle for P8 between Bottas, Vandoorne and Massa. But Bottas pits as well as Kvyat. Rosberg is lapping people, while Lewis' last lap is 0.5 slower than him. 20 laps to go. Raikkonen pits, which puts him behind Lewis but Lewis will have to stop again. Then Nico pits and all the commentators think it's Lewis so they briefly marvel when he comes out ahead of Raikkonen before they realise. 

It puts us on lap 40. Lewis is currently leading then, because he has to pit. Nico is 8 seconds behind him and Raikkonen 4 seconds further down. He'll definitely be out behind him. Then it's still Daniel, Grosjean, Verstappen, Massa, Kvyat, Vandoorne and Bottas. Grosjean pits again. 8.1, terrible stop. Lewis pits. 2.5. Nico sets the fastest lap while he exits the pitlane. He's far behind. They're all on the same tyre. As it seems clear Nico is gonna win this one, Crofty says only 7 other drivers have won 5 times in a row so far and all of them have won the title the season they did. Grosjean overtakes Massa for P6. Ricciardo is closing on Verstappen for P4. There's 10 laps to go. Max pits. He's out in P7, right in front of Bottas. At the front everything is boring btw. Nothing happening. Right as I wrote that Raikkonen's engineer tells him to not give up something might still go down. Bottas and Kvyat are battling for P8 and Kvyat wins. 5 laps to go. I'm bored. Verstappen overtakes Massa for P6. (Lewis is 20 seconds behind Nico btw). 

It's the end of the race. 

Nico wins ahead of Raikkonen and Lewis. They shake hands as they salute their team. It puts Nico 17 points ahead of Lewis in the standings. 

Nico says the key was his good start. Lewis says it's painful but damage limitation was OK and he got some points. He says the damage on the car meant he couldn't do more than that. He's asked like three or four questions when Nico got the one lol. He thanks everybody for the welcome there in Bahrain. 

Unfortunately the post race analysis is not available on my usual website anymore. Onto round 3 then. 

[notstilinski]

The Twisted Ones Starters !

Taken from the 2019 novel by T. Kingfisher, The Twisted Ones! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“She was born unkind and graduated to cruel early.”

“Not much point, is there? The only reason anyone would show up was to make sure they’re dead.”

“If I get in an accident, you’re gonna go right through the windshield, you know?”

“As you can see, he’s a terror.”

“Ohhh, is that all? Man, I thought you wanted me to hide a body.”

“I bet it’s aliens. It’s always aliens.”

“I could have gotten out of here. This place sucks.”

“Buddy, if this tunnel gets any lower, I’m sure as hell not crawling after you!”

“You being murdered? Were you at, honey? I’ll get ‘em!”

“Aw, mint juleps are so classy. Just straight bourbon over ice makes it sound like I’m lush.”

“I’d stay away from them. You leave stuff like that alone, it leaves you alone. Mostly.”

“I could un-ask, you know.”

“Oh my. That’s…. That’s a thing right there, ain’t it?”

“I swear, I don’t usually have breakdowns like that in the parking lot.”

“Well, I’m under a lot of stress. Monsters are stressful. And I should probably stop drinking coffee.”

“I don’t think the holler people are doing yoga.”

“Lord. Talk about being caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea.”

“Is it a good idea to be drunk if there are…uh…things out there?”

“Bit late for that, I’d say, since everybody’s dead.”

“I am so far from okay that I cannot see okay from here. Other than that, I’m fine.”

“You’re nodding off right here at the table.”

“I don’t care if it’s Elvis and the Blessed Virgin. Don’t go opening that door!”

Shit, what am I, the monster whisperer?”

“Shit, (Name), you say it like that and I sound like a real asshole.”

“That was… A thing you just said. Yes.”

“I sure as hell ain’t opening that door! I’ve seen horror movies!”

“I just want my dog back.”

“The prodigal son has priorities, I guess.”

“I know. But I have to. Somebody sent me a note asking for help.”

“Hey, maybe you got cute bones.”

“Look, if it’s gonna come to life and take a chunk out of me, I’d rather it do it now than when my back is turned.”

“Shit, (Name), i shoulda known better than to let either of us get into this.”

“Do you think this is what happens to people who get abducted by aliens?”

“Look, being terrified makes me hungry.”

“(Name), for all I know they’re gonna eat us and are trying to find a recipe book.”

“I doubt y’all are gonna let me reload, but the first six could be interesting.”

“Interesting woman, your grandmother.”

“How are you not having a complete breakdown?”

“Well, I figured one of us needed to be sober in case we needed to drive.”

“We live through this, hon, I’ll even fart in front of you.”

“But that’s why it keeps trying to get in. It doesn’t want us. It wants to come home.”

[otg2012]

“All I Saw Was You" Timeline

Summary:

My Stiles/Jackson series called "All I Saw Was You" starts 14 years after the end of season 2 which is what I call the "present". At the same time, you also find out what happened in the "past" and what happens in the "future". This timeline establishes an order of the chapters throughout the years but personally, I recommend to read it in the order in which is posted on AO3. 

* This timeline will be updated when I post more parts.

* I’m posting it here to link it on the description of my series and delete it from AO3, so it needs to edited another day after deleting 3 chapters like this one that were not “stories”. I can’t risk losing my account or having it frozen again for something like this.

* I love to know what people think of the story, the OCs, the voices, etc... so feedback is very welcome and always cheers me up. I reply as soon as I can.

Notes:

I never expected to write this timeline and that's why I had not done it in six years—Because I still think that it's better to read the story as it's been posted, but Aceadams asked me last month if I had done one and I remembered that Wam6996 had also asked me about it a lot of time ago... so I started to think about it as a way to establish a sort of layout of the story in a more visual way (not as a reading order although people are free to read it as they wish/prefer), and finally, I was like "okay, why not?" So, I decided to write it down.

This has taken some time to finish, so it'd be nice to know if it's useful for anybody... because I also thought that, apart from those two people, maybe nobody would care about it.

Let me know if you have any doubt.

This post will be updated when I post more parts.

P105. Humans, Werewolves and the Beginning of Everything

P114. Tell Me I'm Strong Enough

P115. You're still you… Mr. I’m fucking "perfect"

P116. Thank you, Dr. Whittemore

P119. Broken Promises Will Come Back to Haunt You [+ Q & A]

P52. Chocolate Muffins, Nightmares and Some Xbox

P154. A Werewolf's Charade Is a Human's Unlikely Opportunity (Part 1)

P155. A Werewolf's Charade Is a Human's Unlikely Opportunity (Part 2)

P26. It's in the Way You Look

P121. Fantasy. Reality. Fucking Figure it Out

P100. Why Did You Kiss Me? — * 4th anniversary post

P36. Three Things You Love, Three things You Hate

P45. Jackson Never Says "I Love You"

P29. A New Kind of Secret

P11. Not Lydia 2.0

P57. Who Knew You Wouldn't Be Nobody Anymore

P102. How many "Stiles" do you know?  

P107. The Right Amount of PDA

P112. No More Secrets  

P16. My Asshole Boyfriend

P50. If Anybody Is Breaking Something Here, That's Gonna Be Me

P90. I Could Kiss You on the Mouth Right Now

P124. It's You and Me, and the Distance in Between — * 5th anniversary post

P108. A Christmas Miracle: Santa, Blue and Broken Rules

P147. Your True You

P148. Zero Kissing Involved

P150. About the Guy with Jackson's Freaking Heart

P151. About the Relationship Kane Can’t Get in the Middle of

P152. Four Things Jackson Hates and One Thing He Loves

P153. The Start of a Stiles and Jackson Fan Club

P156. Dealing with the Kanes of the World

P18. Derek Is Not Your Boyfriend

P39. The Kind of Christmas Gift You Can't Return

P110. I Want "You"

P111. Stiles Is All Kindness (aka Not Bad)

P14. No More BB-8

P3. No Other Option

P35. Part of You and Part of Me  

P40. More Than a Cuddle

P41. True Love Lasts Forever

P42. My Path Is Bound With Yours

P43. Unconditionally

P72. Not Your Typical Family Dinner

P46. Not Weird, Special

P47. Part Whittemore, Part Stilinski. Can You Imagine That?

P48. The Ultimate Proof of Love

P62. Say Goodbye to Yesterday

P63. Stiles Is the Exception Except When He Isn't

P64. The End of the World as You Know It

P65. Our Story Is Just Getting Started — * 3rd anniversary post.

P51. 911. What's Your Emergency?

P59. He's Coming Back to You

P67. Do You Believe in Fate?

P78. Close Your Eyes and Count to Ten

P1. All I Saw Was You

P2. On the Wire

P4. Beautifully Unfinished

P5. My Blue Skies and Grey

P6. That Little Consequence of Being Mates

P7. Broken Frame

P8. Into the Wild

P9. Out of the Darkness

P10. So Close But Yet So Far  — * 1st anniversary post

P12. 50 %

P13. Blue Eyes, Perfect Cheeks

P15. Without the Shadow of a DoubT

P16. My Asshole Boyfriend

P17. Bound Together

P19. A Second Chance... Maybe

P21. I Know What You Like

P22. Revelations, Memories, and Coke Zero

P23. I Want To Kiss You. Right Now

P25. Put Your Arms Around Me

P26. It's in the Way You Look

P28. Not Just a Bite

P30. I Can't Make Any Promises — * 2nd anniversary post

P34. The Big Spoon

P44. Moving on

P49. I Don't Want to Lose You

P58. Love Came in Between

P66. This Is Me Now

P71. How Do You See Me?

P73. Don't Let Your Past Hunt You Down  

P106. Call Me by My Name

P74. This Time, It's Jackson's Turn

P94. Don't Forget There's No Logic in a Partially Human Supernatural Creature

P95. I Want You Back

P96. I'll Make All Your Fantasies Come True

P68. A Matter of Trust

P69. Exactly What I Need

P70. Son of Superman

P75. A kiss Is Just a Kiss

P76. As the Light Breaks Through

P79. Little Monsters

P80. Too Young for This Shit

P81. Reasons to Hide Your Tears

P54. I'd Rather Get Shot by a Wolfsbane Bullet

P55. But You Are Married to an Asshole

P56. Consider It Temporary Insanity

P60. From One to Ten, He's a Twenty

P61. Killing Is Always the Last Resort

P20. Guard and Protect

P37. Nobody Said That Werewolves Couldn't Shoot Arrows

P38. Nobody Said You Can't Be Shirtless to Have a Conversation

P133. Ten Years Too Late

P134. Emotionally Compromised

P103. Never Let Anybody Make You Feel Like You Are Any Less Than What You Are

P139. Lying Runs in the Family

P140. Forever Young

P141. Only 50 % Human

P142. Everything Is Connected

P82. Run Kyle Run

P83. You're Married to a Dude?

P84. That's His Thing

P85. Maybe It Was Meant to Be

P86. An Atypical Client

P87. All Alone in the Danger Zone

P88. Rules Are Made to Be Broken

P89. Your Trust Means Everything

P91. Are You Ready to Take My Hand?

P92. Too Many Horror Movies

P93. Maybe Fate Is Actually a Thing

P97. Who Makes All the Rules?

P98. That’s Not Who We Are

P99. Is There Anything Your Father Can’t Do? (aka Right in the Middle)

P101. Under the Radar

P122. Lifeboat

P104. A Portrait of Self-control

P109. If It's Easy Then It Can't Be Love (aka No Way in Hell)

P113. What I'll Whisper in Your Ear

P117. Fate Had a Different Plan Than the One in Your Head

P33. The One

P24. Only Half Wolf

P120. An Alpha, His Husband and a Future that Remains Unclear

P123. With You, Everything Is Crystal Clear

P125. Set Your Fears Free. Find Your Truth

P126. Variety Is the Spice of Life

P127. Practice Until You Can't Get It Wrong

P128. Defying Laws of Gravity

P129. Romantic Ideas Not to Keep

P130. Empty Space

P131. Whittemore, Hale & Associates

P132. Hale, Whittemore & Associates

P135. Throw All the Darkness into Gold

P136. The Adoption Thing

P137. Life Happened to You

P144. Pancakes, Orange Juice, Plus Some Breakfast News

P145. Taboo Topic and All That — * 6th anniversary post.

P146. I Love You Both

P164. You’re Only Half Stilinski

P159. Too Explicit for Television (a.k.a. Call Me What You Want)

P160. It's Right to Assume

P161. Unreal

P162. No One Like You

P163. You Don't Need to Know Everything

P177. So, This Is a Date?

P178. He's Gonna Be a Star.

P157. Yesterday No-one, Today You're a Star

P158. I'm at the Top of the Pyramid

P165. Full Moon Calling (Part 1)

P166. Full Moon Calling (Part 2)

P167. A God in His Bed

P168. Not Running Out

P169. Not the Kind of Secret You'd Expect From Your Celebrity Boyfriend

P170. That Time You Got That First Gig You Never Knew You Wanted at an Interspecies Affair

P171. Jackson Is Not Your Regular Werewolf

P172. Blood, Pain and Regrets

P173. A Disorder in a Not-So-Human Body

P174. Second Nature

P175. Destiny Is Not Bullshit No Matter Who Believes in It

P176. Two Brothers. Different Paths.

P32. Alive: An "All I Saw Was You" Fanmix

P118. End of the Earth: An "All I Saw Was You" Fanmix

P27. An "All I Saw Was You" Companion

P53. Poll I (Deleted from AO3)

P77. Poll II  (Deleted from AO3)

P119. Q & A [+ Broken Promises Will Come Back to Haunt You]

P138. After the Crash

P143. An "All I Saw Was You" Visual Guide (Up to part 142)

P149. The "All I Saw Was You" Timeline  (Deleted from AO3)

Notes:

In case you don't know, I have other stackson stories that you might find interesting if you like this series:

* What If It's you? (Human AU / Crossover with "Spooks | MI-5" ) * Throw Your Weight On Me (Alpha/Omega AU) * No Infinity (Human AU in space) * Hollywood (Human AU in 1950) * The Chemicals Between Us (Human AU)

[istherewifiinhell]

im being an asshole here and these are gonna be shittly annonated more than described... for the sake of my fucking health lol. (mental and RSI lol) pls go look at my wifi reads mirage tag for better and more worth while comics blogging (lot of those are labours of love u know)

okay now to commence with the comic that hurt my brain. lets see. 5 issues? oh and only one i even kinda liked. uh oh

lemme do my due first.

ST vs TF No. 1: written john barber, mike johnson, art philip murphy

colours priscilla tramontano letters christa miesner edits chase marotz and david mariotte pub greg goldstien

No. 2: colours by leonardo ito and josh burcham No. 3: art by jack lawrence. colours by burcham No. 4&5: art by murphy

(its a name and shame as much as its giving credit >_>)

what i want from my tf st crossover comic:

like. 1. mccoy aphorism (also... may i?) 2. brilliant. perfect. spock saying illogical and optimus prime in the same sentence. no notes.

. 1. mccoy called her MAAM. ghbfdjhg. see. im saying. if u gonna do a sexist thing. at least put an old southern man it using his manners <3 only time i really enjoyed a woman being on screen im afraid. 2. they turned the enterprise into a big robot. yaaaaay.

kirk says. prime directive. oppie says. PRIME's directive. hearty chucky. great.

a note here u can see that this is a g1 and tas crossover. i have no familarity with tas actually (is that shocking i wonder. 70s cartoons i know less of, in fact) so like idk maybe theres some stuff i dont like cause its actually a reference or smth. lol. THE INCLUSION OF. tf stuff thats clearly not aligned with actual g1 cartoon visually or thematically tho.... i have my doubts. sucks </3

(see that those first four were by lawarence, which i like. and the next two by murphy, which i dont tho those arent particularly bad showings)

the things i did not really want but knew i was gonna get anyway 'dammit im a doctor not an x' 'more than meets the eye' <- TOO MANY TIMES. talk about blowing ur load. and not even in a fun way.

but there were things ill always like too see. like speaking of blowing ur load.

.1. megop menacing each other. gayass. 2. megs unloading a fusion blast into prime. rearrange his GUTS!!!!

.1. megs looming and threatening. oppie on the ground. you wanted to do WHAT on cybertron? 2. they are grappling each other. hehe hold hands.

and screamer:

megs riding inside screamers cockpit in gun mode. hey thats two the phallic things for the price of one.

yes girl go do ur crazy shit i know how it goes lol.

screamer is refering to the klingons in both cases. 2. hey like. why u phrase it like that (microagression)(gay as hell)

.1. lawrence screamer. my tiny wife (so small. drawn so good. i cant explain it) 2. lawrence megs. hes handsome :) (whats with the moment of victory line tho)

MOM! you never take MY side. thats a lot of judgement for not having a face soundwave

screamer menacing the klingons. hes crushed many high councils and fuck the government.

WAIT. BASED STARSCREAM. SAY THAT SHIT. also thats just a classic g1 screamer face ill give u that murphy. thats him throwing megs out the air lock type shit.

now why exactly this comic thought i would care more about like. tos klingons (sure one of the enemy factions but not particularly. like... ICONIC?) than the decepticons. like.... idk obviously the decepticons cant win but why can the klingons get a win over them u know? like idk... tos klingons are whatever. g1 cons. thats. those are my guys?????

but hey at least they put megatron in bondage

like. oh for me? thigh restrains.... why u shouldnt have..... i am barking at this image even if i think his arms are wrong? cant quite place it. cursed my dick etc.

OKAY. now heres some concern points. women.

woman decepticon (who looks weird btw) grabbing kirk and shes 'not his type'. BAD.

and yes instead of the fair superior make some of the seekers girls method. THATS AIRARCNID for some fucking reason. and she still has that stupid fucking steath helicopter alt instead of. oh idk ANYTHING that would look normal next to g1 vehicles. even windblade looks better in alt mode. where the FUCK IS SKYWARP (girl version <3)

screamer calling her airachnid (also this comp reference straight from the g1 s1 intro)

utube screenshot. same pose, different character positions

TC, screamer and soundwave posing up. the the lady con crammed behind them. me when i definitely remembered to block the woman into my pencils (this is the artist i like. CHRIST) (also cause im definitely working from a thumbnailed layout and not just comping in all these crisp jpegs like... however)<- more the other guy

sulu 'flying' wind blade. she tells him to back off. the amount of things i dont like about this image...... do i even need to say em? WHO LET IT HAPPENED

acree grabs ravage. (kitty) to protect mech version of mress (cat alien). why the fuck does robot mress look cooler than arcee thats sad (though that arm...... )

also now that i think about... i dont think i ever saw arcees alt... this is g1... she literally has one whats ur fucking problem. comic from 2018. shes had one since 1986. no one is asking u to prove the transformation scheme WORKS.

THE JAZZ ISSUE.

group posing of autobots. acree looks bad next to earth alt mode bots as always. wind blade looks bad just ingeneral as always. ratchet and bees faces look.... not great. jazz looks fine but hes yelling about not wanting to see humans.

so like..... theres this thing...... ive seen this guys comics wiki page and theirs a lot of jokes about him shooting humans. why does jazz hate humans? (like. i know. at least one comic i guess? multiple? unsure. went has far as. HE HAD TO SHOOT A COP. to save someones life. which. which. sure. thats. a commentary. probably. what is GOING ON in there) anway. i think including whatever stupid fucking baggage u gave him into. THE SILLY HAHA 70s and 80s CARTOON CROSSOVER. IS DUMB. hey jazz is really agressive and hates humans now. NO ONE SEES THE PROBLEM THERE? IS I THIS THING ON?

and then they still had him do some nominally g1 jazz like dialogue (i cannot speak to the authenticity of his use of jive slang uh... ever? but at least in the cartoon it was being said by scatman crothers?) anyway. really weird. bad tonally. jazz is my fucking friend he LIKES humans. thats the whole fucking.... THING. what the hell.

also combining it with even having to just. SEE windblade. eh yeah well. you know.

FINALLY. the art. i actually dont want to spend too long just specifically belabouring the bad art. i mean 1. cause i dont want to screenshot a bunch of bad art. two cause yeah its kinda mean. 3. im not actually sure i can explain it in a way that wont make me sound crazy. i hate when i start getting the really niche tf opinions like this.

but like. yeah the comp isnt very good. like artistically and also literally whatever way they were getting all the characters into the same scenes. not great like. perspective or sense of place which.... kinda need that one. in this specific case.... weird errors that stood out too. some awkward paneling too....

but mainly yeah i found the way murphy drew the g1s like... really off putting. as soon as i got to no. 3 i was literally just so relieved i scrolled the whole thing without reading it first just to. look. and then that was the only one </3

just something like no no this way of drawing the blocks ISNT GOOD. kibble looks wrong. etc. and then also. g1 characters just. dont move in certain ways okay. in the arms and stuff... i know it when i see it. (smh at myself) whatever.

in essence and most important i guess. it didnt often charm me. for shame.

but may i present

optical illusion acid storm. damn i guess they really must be a non binary icon cause i cant fucking figure out what angle thats supposes to be. (<- unclear what i mean by that)(actually i think this is nifty more that bad like. it genuinely is tricking my eyes)

worst fucking splash page ive seen in my life

the decepticons coming in to kick starscreams ass. all just kinda pasted together without much scale, composition, values. etc. note rumbles (purple guy, bottom right) missing head (like yeah hes mid transform but.... it looks dumb. what was gained drawing him this way) and trypticon (that big robot dinosaur you may notice just kinda. in the background layer) lines being way larger. as if it was just. select transformed to be big enough for this. it actually haunted me cause it looked so much like default art or smth. not that i could find tho. BUT HEY! skywarp. (top left corner)

like idk boss it looks like ass. if i saw this printed out and slid into some kids binder id be like. oh wow bud thats awesome! you like the decepticons? me too! did you edit this other your self? thats cool!!!

in conclusion

girl boss cover (screen cuts to black but u can hear me muffled but loud and agonized "nurse chaple wasnt even IN-)

okay im gonna need to be a hater in peace here

[raysources]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐖𝐄  𝐃𝐎  𝐈𝐍  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒     —     a collection of one - liners taken from the 2014 film, what we do in the shadows.   slightly edited for clarity.   change pronouns as necessary.

❛  it’s  6 PM  in  the  nighttime ,   which  is  when  i  wake  up .  ❜ ❛  i  like  the  company .  ❜ ❛  i  just  really  like  having  a  good  time  with  my  friends .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  come ,   but  i  thought  i’d  extend  an  invitation  to  you  just  in  case .  ❜ ❛  well ,   i’m  glad  to  hear  that  i’m  cool .  ❜ ❛  i’m  embarrassed  when  people  come  over  here .  ❜ ❛  and  we’re  still  friends  today .  ❜ ❛  vampires  have  had  a  pretty  bad  rap .  ❜ ❛  i  was  smitten .  ❜ ❛  i  thought ,   “ you  know  what ?     to  hell  with  it .     i’m  going  to  go . ”  ❜ ❛  that’s  about  as  long  as  i  can  wear  that .  ❜ ❛  when  you’re  a  vampire ,   you  become  very  sexy .  ❜ ❛  i  go  for  a  look  which  i  call ,   “ dead  but  delicious . ”  ❜ ❛  i’ve  been  a  very  thirsty  girl .  ❜ ❛  what  are  you  doing  tonight ?  ❜ ❛  he  tells  me  what  to  do ,   i  do  it .   ❜ ❛  oh ,   it’s  a  little  bit  of  blood .   ❜ ❛  i  was  just  wondering  if  we  could  talk  about  the   . . .   the  deal .  ❜ ❛  i  just  feel  like  i’m  the  best  version  of  myself  that  i  can  be .  ❜ ❛  i  like  to  make  a  real  evening  of  it .  ❜ ❛  well ,   that  didn’t  go  so  great .  ❜ ❛  it’s  a  real  mess  in  there .  ❜ ❛  you  were  the  one  that  started  calling  me  that ,   and  then  it  kind  of  caught  on .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,   are  you  a  virgin  at  all ?   ❜ ❛  if  you’re  going  to  eat  a  sandwich ,   you’d  just  enjoy  it  more  if  you  knew  no  one  had  fucked  it .  ❜ ❛  how  does  it  feel  to  have  a  snake  for  a  penis ?  ❜ ❛  my  penis  has  disappeared .  ❜ ❛  no  one’s  gonna  mistake  your  penis  for  a  cobra ,   [ name ] ,   okay ?  ❜ ❛  who  let   [ name ]   out ?  ❜ ❛  i  think  everyone  has  always  wanted  to  fly .  ❜ ❛  why  don’t  you  use  the  front  door ?   ❜ ❛  you’ve  got  a  whole  documentary  crew  following  you  around  .  ❜ ❛  i’m  doing  an  erotic  dance  for  my  friends ,   and  you  ruined  it .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  know  if  i’m  accepted  yet .     but   . . .   i  don’t  know ,   i  think  it’s  getting  there .  ❜ ❛  it  would  be  cool  to  just  hang  out  with  them .  ❜ ❛  they  can  teach  me  some  stuff .  ❜ ❛  the  way  i  see  it ,   i’ve  got  a  whole  new  family .  ❜ ❛  he  just  thinks  that  i’ve  just  met  some  colorful  friends .  ❜ ❛  i  can  smell  werewolves .  ❜ ❛  i  heard  that ,   mate .     i’ve  got  sensitive  hearing .  ❜ ❛  you’re  on  camera ,   mate .  ❜ ❛  we’re  werewolves ,   not  swear - wolves .  ❜ ❛  that’s  a  very  offensive  word  to  call  people .  ❜ ❛  why  are  you  swearing  all  the  time ?  ❜ ❛  what  do  you  do  when  someone  tells  you  that  they’re  a  vampire ?  ❜ ❛  he’s  definitely  my  best  mate .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  gonna  eat  him .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  never  eat  him  ‘cause  he’s  my  mate .   ❜ ❛  at  first  i  wanted  to  kill  him .     but  now  i’m  glad  i  spent  the  time  to  get  to  know  him .  ❜ ❛  he’s  a   . . .   vegetarian .  ❜ ❛  there  is  a  crucifix  behind  you .  ❜ ❛  with  humans ,   there’s  a  tendency  to  die .  ❜ ❛  i’m  the  main  guy  in  “ twilight ” .  ❜ ❛  how  many  people  have  you  told  you’re  a  vampire ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  a  vampire  hunter ,   man .   ❜ ❛  i’ll  tell  the  whole  world  that  you’re  an  asshole .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  care  about  your  stupid  jacket .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  say  it .     i’m  over  being  a  vampire .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  say  it .     i’m  over  being  a  vampire .     it’s  shit .     don’t  believe  the  hype .  ❜ ❛  i  just  stepped  back ,   and  let  her  live  her  life .   ❜ ❛  get  out  of  the  sunlight !  ❜ ❛  i  will  tear  out  your  tongue  and  shove  it  down  your  ass !  ❜ ❛  i  really  hope  that  those  guys  don’t  kill  those  police  because  it  will  mean  more  police  will  come .   ❜ ❛  well ,   his  soul  is  in  hell .  ❜ ❛  just  have  a  bit  of  dialogue  about  it .  ❜ ❛  i'd  like  you  to  find  your  own  original  style .  ❜ ❛  i  hope  you  never  see  the  beast .  ❜ ❛  just  leave  me  to  do  my  dark  bidding  on  the  internet !  ❜ ❛  we  were  very  sexually  explosive .  ❜ ❛  nice  to  meet  you ,   asshole .  ❜ ❛  fuck  off  to  a  tree .  ❜ ❛  get  that  camera  out  of  my  face !  ❜ ❛  you  have  to  watch  everyone  die .   ❜ ❛  if  i  know   [ name ] ,   this  was  probably  the  way  he  wanted  to  go   . . .  ❜ ❛  if  i  know   [ name ] ,   this  was  probably  the  way  he  wanted  to  go   . . .   disembowled  by  werewolves .  ❜ ❛  i  hope  i  made  you  feel  better .  ❜ ❛  i’m  the  alpha  male ,   so  i  made  the  call .  ❜ ❛  what  are  you  laughing  at  now ,   though ?  ❜ ❛  laugh  with  the  group .  ❜

[maizumis]

Hii! Another Haikyuu dad au! Can it be with the miya twins, Bokuto, Iwa, and Suna? They get into an argument with their pregnant wife so the wife tells them to leave her alone. The boys find a loophole so they talk to her baby bump about how sorry they are to their mama :)

— HAIKYUU BOYS ARGUING WITH YOU WHILE PREGNANT AND APOLOGIZING

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, iwaizumi hajime, suna rintaro

note: female reader‼️ angst to fluff ‼️different format cos I wanted to write more 🥴 thanks anon! hope you like it 😽 I think I'm gonna do a part two cos this got longer than expected and I couldn't add all the characters! not edited, that's work for tomorrow!

# MIYA ATSUMU

atsumu came home after a rough day at practice, excited to spend some time with you and baby boy that was about to come in just a month

all happiness he had quickly erased when he saw that the home was on the same that when he went to practice, dishes without washing and clothes without fold

" ‘tsumu you're home! we missed you!" he walked past you, he didn't even give you a side look, going directly to the bathroom "‘tsumu all okay? I made your favor–" "could ya please shut up? a come home after working and entire day for ma family and the house is like this? what did ya do the whole day?"

you were stuck in your place with wide eyes and hands over your belly "I'm sorry ‘tsumu, my back hurts a lot today and—" "save it, don’ wanna hear yer excuses"

"go fuck yourself then, miya, sleep in the comfiness of the couch today and don't you dare talk to me until tomorrow" with that you were gone to the master bedroom, fighting the tears that were in your eyes

he thought nothing about it and went to the shower, thinking what was he gonna eat for dinner then go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day

-

freshly out of the shower with pajamas on, he went to the kitchen to eat something, mesmerized when he saw the little note on the oven glass

"enjoy your meal! we love you!<3"

not only that, but that you made his favorite, knowing he was gonna come home late and exhausted after practice

memories of the recent fight came to his mind, he didn't even let you talk your mind, his throat feeling heavy with the guilt that he was experiencing, maybe he should let you talk after all

contradictory to your words, he went runnint to the shared bedroom, ready to apologise for being an ass "baby, yer awake?"

"not for you" you told him trying to hide your sobs, the day was awful, your back didn't let you do anything, the meal you cooked was an hour of fighting the back pain, thinking your ‘tsunj would be happy if he found this

"okay then, good thing a have a baby I can talk to"

he knelt down in front of you, carefully placing his head on the baby bump, caressing it from time to time

"I was an ass, sorry, a bad person to yer mom today baby, a came home and told her bad things, she was hurting and a Didi care, can ya tell her sorry for me?" he felt a kick on his cheek and a smile on his face when he saw you laugh, even with the tear-stained cheeks you were beautiful

" ‘tsumu, not cool what you did today, I wasn't feeling okay and I missed you, we missed you" your voice still a little wiggly after that crying session you had with your maternity pillow

finally, first name privileges, he thought "a know, am sorry, am so sorry, ya deserve so much better angel, am sorry"

"‘s okay tsum, cuddle me as an apologize, yeah?"

he never got into bed at that speed, quickly cuddling you with hands on your tummy while giving little pecks to your neck

"ya don't have to tell me twice"

# IWAIZUMI HAJIME

before and during pregnancy you joined iwaizumi on his works out or runs from time to time, you knew he enjoyed his time doing it so, why don't join him?

today you were not feeling like it, morning sickness took over you and the bed seemed like the best place to stay all day, one day in bed wouldn't hurt, you thought

apparently it stroke a nerve on hajime "what are you doing in the bed? up! we need it go out! " '‘m sorry haji, not really feeling like it today, why don't you go and I make something when you return home?"

"what do you mean 'you don't feel like it' the only thing you do all day is laze around"

you took a deep breath before answering, knowing didn't meant what he say "well I'm sorry I'm pregnant iwaizumi, I can't help it. go on your run and we can eat something together when you return"

"fucking Clara wouldn't put this excuses on me" he murmured under his breath, hoping you didn't heard the mention of his ex partner

"repeat yourself iwaizumi hajime, I'm waiting"

"no baby— I'm sorry, I didn't mean it-"

"go out before I go out by myself iwaizumi, don't bother talk to me the rest of the day, I'm gonna make dinner and leave it on the fridge, I'm also gonna sleep in the guest room. fucking low of you iwaizumi, so fucking low"

he went out with a knot on his throat, he didn't need to bring that up— he knew you weren't feeling your best and then he still played that ex-girlfriend card. on the way back home he picked up flowers knowing you loved them, praying to anyone who was above him for your forgiveness

"I'm home"

"and I told you not to talk to me, iwaizumi"

being petty was right, the mention of his ex while carrying his first daughter because you didn't feel like going out today was bullshit, he didn't have an excuse

he looked down to the floor before closing the door and going to the living room to think about what he did, cheeks red of embarrassment because of his childish behavior

-

he waited for you to be asleep before going into the room, with the idea of carrying your to the king bed instead of this one, after all, he was the one that deserved the uncomfy room

before picking you he saw the pregnant belly, the shirt you were wearing rolled up so it was exposed to the cold air

" ‘m sorry baby, your mama doesn't deserve this, you have the right to be angry with me" tears were pricking his eyes, maybe he was thinking too ahead but would you leave him for this?

"I'm such and asshole, I hope you don't remember that lady's name" he told the fetus as if he was having an actual conversation face to face "behave for mom yeah? don't put more pressure on her than already did" with that he picked you up, without knowing you were fully awake the whole conversation

you let yourself be carried to the big bedroom, once you felt him place you on the bed, you tugged his shirt while looking at him with teary eyes "we need to talk tomorrow but please,stay hajime" you were still mad, but his company is what you were craving right now

"there's no way I'm not staying forever with you"

# SUNA RINTARO

rintaro was coming home late this past weeks but he finally had a free night! so you were excited to spend a bonding time with him and your unborn baby

finishing the little detail on the table such as the dry flowers and the candles, you hear the door being open "rinnie! you finally home! it felt like forever while waiting for you!" he gave you a sweet peck in your lips before going to his room to change his clothes

"oh~ I see you dressed fancy for the occasion! wait for me I think I have a dress that stills fits me!" "what do you mean? I'm going out with the inarizaki boys, kita is in town"

you stopped midway the hall that ended in your room, quickly walking towards your boyfriend again "what do you mean you're going out? what about what I made?"

"you made something?"

it was ridiculous to keep begging, maybe you should call it a day and watch some movies in the couch with a tube of ice cream, alone, again.

"okay then, have fun rin, don't drink to much and come home safe"

-

rin came home after a few hours out, he indeed had a good time with his old teammates but his mind was all the time one you, maybe he should have stay with you, eat some homemade food and cuddle all night while talking about nothing

he entered the house and saw you spread on the couch, huge blanket on with his highschool jersey on, long forgotten night snacks on the night table and Netflix on the tv

it wasn't only that what caught his eye but the table in the kitchen too, he walked towards it and saw it, the candles, the flower carefully placed on the middle of the table, the matching napkins and fancy plates, so that was what you were referring to earlier

guilt creeped all over his body, he didn't acknowledge your efforts to make a night for the both of you, was this negligence? he thought

going again to the couch, bending over so he would be at your height, he placed a hand on your belly before speaking

"you're allowed to be mad at me when you're born baby" he paused for a few seconds, thinking what was he gonna say next "papa is a fucking asshole— sorry, don't say that, papa is very clumsy from time to time"

"Rin?"

there you were! his hand came quickly behind your neck, pressing your forehead and noses together, lips brushing each other

"I'm sorry I'm so stupid— fuck, I really don't want to cry right now, I'm an horrible person"

you cupped his face with both your hands, eyes teary about to cry for a second time that day "you're not horrible Rin, it's just it feels lonely you know?" tears already going down your cheek, the sight made his heart ache, you were crying because of him

"I know you're out there trying to be the best for us but" your voice wiggly, you were really trying to hide the sobs you had inside "but sometimes it feels like you're not around anymore, I can't share the little moments I have because I wake up to an empty bed and go to sleep with the thought of you being out" full sobs were coming out of you at this point, days of pain finally reaching their point "and it hurts so bad not to have you around"

rintaro was crying along with you, you could feel his wet tears on your neck, where he was placing his head "and your absolutely right angel, I'm gonna be better for you– for the both of you, what about I take the day off tomorrow, yeah?" his quavering voice betraying him, even if you knew he was crying he wanted to be strong

"that sounds perfect rin... come cuddle me?"

carrying you bridal style to the bedroom, he lit your favorite candle and snuggled you under the cost sheets

"cuddle you, all day long baby"

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :*