#eddie may think that buck will always fight for chris

[mybrainshyperfixtations]

okay so i just finished 315 (eddie begins) and yes i sobbed. i knew what was coming i still cried anyways.

also can we talk about how buck was in over half of eddie’s flashbacks when he was drowning. the writers were so setting up for buddie to be canon are you kidding me. speculations for possible s4 buddie canon before network shot it down seem very real

[rosyhoneydew]

9-1-1 8a Coda

Buck shows up to the little soiree that Eddie is hosting the night before he leaves for Texas. The 118 (et. al) is there along with some other familiar faces. Eddie's old coworkers from dispatch are there, Josh and Linda, and Carla are there. Tommy's there.

It's a good night, it's bittersweet, but everyone seems to be focused on remembering the good, the funny, the sweet times, rather than thinking about the goodbye to come. There are a few hijinks that come with Buck begging everyone there to not let him be alone in a room with Tommy. I don't know what I'll say to him if we're left alone. He's not mad, it's the opposite more than anything. Left alone, Buck's worried he'll beg, plead, bargain, for the chance to get back what they'd had. He's not sure he'll survive it with dignity intact.

It works, for the most part. Hen and Chimney take on the brunt of the work, keeping the two of them separately occupied enough that there are only a couple of close calls, once in the hallway by the bathroom, and once when Buck goes to grab more champagne from the fridge. It's at the end of the night that there's no helping it. Buck and Tommy both stay. They take down streamers and collect stray glasses strewn around the living room. They turn down the music and stuff trash in a bag.

It's nearing 2 AM when the three of them drop down onto Eddie's sofa. There's a moving company coming tomorrow to pack it all away. It's the last time they'll do this. They're quiet for a long minute. Eddie doesn't have to ask, but he does anyway, Am I doing the right thing?

It's not a question Buck or Tommy can answer, it's hardly a question another parent could answer. Buck tries anyway, I think you've gotta find that out. I don't know if this'll fix things with Chris or not, but, he chances a glance at Tommy, you've gotta know when something's worth fighting for. What could be more worth it than Chris?

What if he doesn't want me there?

Tommy speaks this time, Then you know you've always got a home here, he meets Buck's gaze, You know that you have people who will be here no matter what. Shit may happen but, we're not going anywhere.

They pack up not long after that, Buck promises to be back early to help the movers and see him off. Tommy tells Eddie to Keep working on your knee strikes, then puts a hand on his shoulder, Gonna miss you, man, don't be a stranger.

Eddie smiles and thanks the both of them before turning back into his house, the house. The moon is glowing bright, a half-crescent, and the walk that Buck and Tommy take to their cars is silent but for their footfalls.

Buck feels the slightest brush of a pinky against his own as they walk.

[spicyrottingbrains]

You know the argument where people are like buck and eddie are straight and they're best friends and nothing more and that we should healthy male friendships in media without ship etc. etc.?? Well forgetting about every argument i have against all of of this and IF we were to consider that they are nothing but best friends then you know what would still make the most sense in regards to their storylines (together and individual)??? Not shoving random love interests for them into the plot and instead having them actually be two best friends who just raise a kid together without the need for anything else. Because no matter if you ship buddie or not I don't think there is a universe or a person who can counteract the fact that Evan buckley and Edmundo Diaz are soulmates. Stop having buck look for love in these doomed relationships and stop having eddie go out with these random people just because others are pressuring him to. People can be happy without relationships and if buddie won't be canon in a romantic sense then it would make so much sense for them to be happy with their family, because you gotta agree Buckk, Eddie and Chris, they are a family. Those three will always be there for each other and they will always put each other first. Those two are soulmates in every sense and they'd do anything for each other. Christopher comes first for both of them but right next to Chris is their best friend and that will not change. Their little family (+extended firefam) will always come first and no love interest could ever change that. It makes no sense for them to ignore the person who has had their back through so much fucking pain and heartbreak for someone who just came along into their lives to become top priority. Hell they're miserable without each other as is evident in the lawsuit Arc, the eddie leaving Arc, etc ect. They've been through too much for that. The firefam is the family they need and have. And they have each other (in whatever way that may be). It's like Ravi (my baby I love him so much I need more of him in s7) said its about having each others backs. And that is the entire premise of buddie since the very beginning, having each others back through thick and thin through joy and heartbreak, to never stop fighting for their family, that is the very essence that both Buck and Eddie's characters were built on. I did not go through 5 seasons of "there is no one I trust more with my son more than you","no one will fight for my son harder than you", "you can have my back any day.....or you could have mine", "isn't that what love is....knowing you have each other back", "when you're at your worst and they're at their worst and you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try", "what are you afraid of" buck showing up at Eddie's during the lightning aftermath, buck crawling under a freaking firetruck to get to eddie, Christopher running to buck at any point of distress, and so many more times where those three have always been what they need for anyone to disregard the fact that the buckley-diaz family are meant to be.

Ok I'm done.

[buddiebeginz]

I know not everything the actors say in interviews is accurate but I’m pretty sure in the beginning of the season Oliver talked about how Buck was going to have to work for his next relationship. He talked very deliberately about how Buck has always had relationships come easy. In that he’ll like someone and then end up with them without having to really fight for them. He said Buck's next relationship was going to be different, yet things with T*mmy feel exactly the same as how it’s felt with most of the women Buck's been with. Where the relationship comes easy and it’s mostly based on sex and the person doesn’t really know who Buck is at his core.

I can’t help but wonder if Tim told Oliver that he was planning on making Buddie happen this season or at least moving them closer to happening and it got pushed into s8. In the beginning of this season we had a lot of joint Ryan and Oliver interviews more so than in previous years. Oliver also did a lot of posting/liking about Buddie and Ryan on insta. He also talked about Buddie in all his interviews more than in previous seasons. Given how Oliver has said multiple times in the past that he didn't want to lead people on about Buddie I can't help but feel like he thought things were going to play out differently.

If you watch the beginning of s7 it feels like we’re heading towards something important happening with Buddie. We had a lot of Buddie scenes including the locker room scene, the scene where Buddie talk about underlying sexual tension, the scene where Buck is showing how much he's like Chris' other dad, Buddie working together on multiple calls including rescuing Bobby together. Then of course there was 704 which was like a flashing neon sign saying Buck has feelings for Eddie and is scared Eddie is going to replace him.

Then in 705 it was Eddie who interrupts Buck's first date with a guy. It's Eddie that is the focus of the conversation where Buck comes out to Maddie, where she tells him that if he has something he needs to tell Eddie he will in his own time. Then we get a very intimate scene where Buck comes out to Eddie, including a lot of shared looks between them and a hug. Also of note that Buck only had two coming out scenes in the whole season and Eddie was chosen to be one of them. There was also the gym scene where they talked about Eddie's sex life.

To me it feels like Tim changed course around 706 when he cut a lot of Buddie stuff from the ep especially the karaoke scene. I know a lot of things were likely cut for time but still they shot a scene of Buddie being all touchy feely singing a karaoke love song for the Madney wedding ep. Karaoke was one of the first things Madney did when they were falling for one another it was too much of a parallel for it not to mean something.

I think 706 was really supposed to be a bigger Buddie episode than it turned out to be. This may also be why so much of the promo stuff was about Buddie. I think originally this was going to be the episode to start officially letting the audience know there was something there between them. You can also see parts of the original story where they had Buddie joined at the hip after the bachelor party (helping Maddie and looking for Chim) everything came off very coupley.

This may also explain why Abuela is at the wedding and Marisol isn't (more about Marisol later). I wonder if originally we were going to get some kind of scene with Abuela and Eddie where she says something about Buck. There's no way they brought her in to just stand in the background like an extra there had to have been a purpose for her character originally.

I think Tim changed course when he decided he wanted to do the Kim/Shannon Vertigo mess. Which I don’t get why someone didn’t step in and tell him how ridiculous this idea was especially in this short of a season. I feel like Tim wanted to do something artsy and also get Devin Kelley back on the show and this was how he chose to do that. Unfortunately though the story turned into a mess and worse I feel like parts of Eddie's emotional journey that deserved more focus were lost. Like even the general audience didn't know what to make of that scene where Kim was dressed up as Shannon.

The Vertigo story might also be a part of why there were rumours that Edy had finished filming prior to this storyline starting in 707. Maybe she thought she had but was brought back in for this storyline. Who knows? This season was basically being written almost as they were filming it and I'm pretty sure Tim was changing things left and right. You can see that more in some episodes vs others and definitely more the later the season goes on.

I also think that would explain why so little thought and time was put into both Eddie's relationship with Marisol and Buck's thing with T*mmy. I don't think either relationship was supposed to last the entire season. There was talk early on in s7 that Lou was only supposed to be around for something like four episodes definitely a short run. In interviews Oliver also made it seem like B/T wasn't going to last and that T*mmy eventually was going to be more of a mentor type figure for Buck.

Lou also used the word rom-com when referring to B/T. Although take that with a grain of salt because it may have been on one of his cameos and he said all kinds of stuff on there. But you can see rom-com love triangle type stuff being set up in 704/705/706 between Buck, Eddie, and T*mmy and then T*mmy just kind of disappears (until 709) and the Kim/Shannon thing happens.

This would explain why there is so little development in s7 for T*mmy and B/T's relationship to the point that they never even defined that relationship by the end of the season. They never even had Buck call him his boyfriend. Which I'm glad for that in a way but it just goes to show how bad the writing was this season. And as much as I want Buddie and as much as I dislike Lou and T*mmy I'm also really sad for Oliver because this is not the coming out storyline Buck deserved.

In 707 there was zero mention of T*mmy and this is also when the Kim/Shannon storyline started so I think this is when we see some significant changes to the storyline from wherever things were originally set to go. Though the scene with Buddie and Chris I think some of that was from whatever had been originally planned. It's too flirty to explain otherwise. Maybe originally it was going to be something where Eddie and Chris spend time at Buck's loft but because there was the Kim storyline they wrote it with Eddie leaving for the date.

The thing is Buck's feelings for Eddie throughout this whole season have been louder and more apparent than we've ever seen them be before. Oliver is clearly playing Buck as in love with Eddie. Go back and watch the scene in 704 where Eddie talks about clicking with T*mmy and see how Buck looks like his heart has broken into a million pieces. Or the way Buck watches Eddie in the coming out scene in 705. Or Buck's face in 709 after he said he was worried about Eddie. It's just so obvious that man loves Eddie and would do anything for him.

This is why I really thought there was a good probability of us getting an oh moment feelings realization from Buck in the finale or at the very least a moment where they hugged and consoled each other over losing their son. But we didn't even get that.

I'm honestly not surprised that Oliver went quiet on social media during the back half of s7. Throughout the whole season Oliver wasn't really showing support for B/T and he talked very little about the ship in his interviews. I think this was originally because the plan was for B/T only to be a short term thing and Oliver didn't want to lead anyone on about that ship. I also personally think Oliver has wanted to see Buddie happen for years so he's not going to be rooting for another ship.

I also get the vibe Oliver's not crazy about working with Lou. Anytime you see behind the scenes video and pics of the cast Lou isn't in them or if he is no one is interacting with him. You can also see in the one interview Oliver did with Lou that the chemistry between them just isn't there. They feel more like coworkers just doing their job vs how Ryan and Oliver always appear like giggling besties in every interview and behind the scenes thing we see them in.

Like others have said I'm just sad for Oliver. I think once Tim told Oliver about them wanting to do the bi Buck storyline he must have been so excited. He's talked in interviews about how he's always seen Buck as bi so he must have been thrilled when they said they were finally taking his character there. And for all the issues this season Buck's coming out is still an incredibly important storyline and has meant a lot to so many people. Oliver has even talked about all the people that have messaged him and how deeply they've been affected by a character like Buck coming out.

Still I'm sure Oliver wants more for Buck's love life than the lackluster relationship that he's been stuck with. You can tell in how he talks about Buddie that he wants to see that relationship happen and that he wants to make sure it's done right and doesn't play into stereotypes.

I just hate that T*mmy is the first guy they've stuck Buck with. I hate that Tim and the show have done nothing with this relationship. We don't even really know by the end of s7 how Buck feels about T*mmy or how he feels having been dating a guy for months. Some of that should have been revisited maybe with a talk between Buck and Maddie. But it's like others have said they made Buck bi and then just kind of forgot about him. I think though that's because like I said Tim pushed everything to the side to focus on the Vertigo plot and also all the stuff with Bobby to the detriment of everything else. Buddie was the original plan and Tim didn't really have much else for Buck to do so they left him in this nothing relationship.

I really hope s8 is better all around not just for Buddie but for Buck and Eddie as characters. I hope that Tim plans to follow through and actually make Buddie a reality not just because so many people ship them because of how important for queer representation a ship like Buddie becoming canon could be. I also want to see Oliver actually get to play Buck in a relationship he's proud to talk about.

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

[dangerpronebuddie]

Buddie - “There are people who love you, you know”

For you, Inell! <3 (I am so sorry this took me so long).

Buck withdraws his hands as Eddie stands, wincing as the movement aggravates his sore muscles. Buck’s shoulders drop and he tosses the ice pack he’d been pressing to Eddie’s shoulder blade onto the bench. “There are people who love you, you know,” Buck says firmly. He feels like he’s having an argument with himself. Like he’s looking for a fight he has no right to chase. It wasn’t Eddie’s fault the ceiling caved in. It’s not Eddie’s fault Buck blames him anyway. Like Eddie tried to leave him. Eddie scoffs and continues to rifle through his locker. “Are there?” “You know there are,” Buck says, moving to stand beside Eddie. The scratches across his face look better after his shower, but they won’t heal for a few days. Buck is more concerned about the wounds he can’t see.  The fear from watching Eddie disappear in the rubble has faded. He’ll have a new nightmare to add to the rotation but he doesn’t care as long as Eddie is here.  “My son hates me,” Eddie says. He slams his locker closed and turns to face Buck. “My parents hate me. My sisters won’t speak to me. Hen and Chim have their own shit going on, so does Bobby, and I…” He swallows thickly and ducks his head. “What do I have left?” The helplessness in Eddie’s voice breaks Buck’s heart in two. How could Eddie not know?  Maddie’s words from their talk yesterday echo in his head.  “How does he not know, Maddie?” Buck had cried after Eddie had confessed he was afraid he’s doomed to be alone, even after Buck had told him it wasn’t true. Because he always had Buck. “Because you haven’t told him,” she had said in her best Big Sister voice.  Buck opens his mouth to speak, but he finds he doesn’t have the words to express it all. Instead, he gingerly cups Eddie’s cheek, tilting his head up.  Eddie looks up at him, tears shining in the warm brown. Buck leans down and presses a careful kiss to the scrape across his cheek, then the bruise beneath his eye. Eddie’s breath catches in his throat.  “Buck,” he whispers, his voice trembling.  “You have me,” Buck says, more certain than he’s ever been before. He presses a featherlight kiss to the corner of Eddie’s mouth and swipes his thumb there as he meets Eddie’s eyes again. “You’ll always have me.” “When you tell me there are people who love me…” Eddie trails off.  “I mean me,” Buck confesses. It’s not the best time, but it may be the perfect time. “I love you, Eddie. Chris does too, and you know that. It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay.” Eddie sighs and nods as best he can with Buck still cupping his cheek. He presses into the touch and Buck’s heart swells. “We’re gonna be okay.”  When Eddie cups the back of his neck to draw him into a soft kiss, Buck starts to think Eddie believes him.

Send me a sentence for a buddie drabble!

[smaeemo]

On the topic of s8 buddie speculation, I think that it’s important to recognize that they are actual adults.

Like these are fully grown men, who are inherently recovering and still mentally growing, but they are not teens or even young adults at this point. With Tommy specifically, my guy Tommy is a fully grown 40 year old, comfortable stable person who is experienced and confident within his identity and relationship. And while Buck has always been a little more immature, he is growing and getting healither and healthier as the seasons progress.

So as of right now Bucktommy is ideal for the two of them, but when it comes to Eddie it is a completely different ordeal.

Eddie’s emotional and mental states are in crisis mode, with chris, SINCE shannon, PTSD, all of above. And with adding in Marisol, and specificlally his relationship with God, this is now a perfect avenue for his queer identity. HOWEVER, With the Chris timeline, there has to be closure on one before the other, most likely chris first.

Here’s what I think will happen BRIEF IDEA

Chris -> Eddie Queer -> Eddie realizes he loves Buck -> Bucktommy break up due to TOMMY realizing this -> Buddie fight -> Eddie & Tommy talk + Eddie and team talk (or carla)-> Buck realizes/eddie tells him(but not fully establishedor resolved) -> DRAMA UNRELATED -> Big emotional AGGHH (Possibly to do with Chris) -> resolve that issue -> Circle back to the topic of their love -> Buck talks to peeps -> DRAMA -> Buddie Canon

(Buck and Eddie can be interchanged in specific parts due to the general theme of the dramas or perhaps the “confession” of sorts)

However my point is…

- Tommy will not be a bad sport and is NOT a bad person or bad for Buck. Wrong person wrong time, but a lovely couple as of right now. Specifically for Buck’s development. (I really hope they strengthen and continue Tommy’s character because I love him, and because I don’t think he should be known exclusively as a catalyst for Buck’s identity, kind of like Taylor was :()

- For Buddie to go canon, the Chris issue has to be resolved first WHICH could come before or after Eddie’s queer realization. Specifically after, perhaps due to his repressed feelings and idenrity becoming a prominent figure in his self care, and willingness to change. AND let go of Shannon IN A HEALTHY WAY. (also parent stuff)

- This is not high school, they are adults. BUCK HAD HIS ARC!! Eddie needs to figure out his shit.

- They are flawed and complex characters, so while yes, this is 9-1-1 so it will be theatrical, it will not be immature.

- It will be MESSY and DRAMATIC and with REALISTIC (ish) themes

-> Think of Bathena, Henren, Madney

- Buddie is a longstanding want from the Fandom, ergo, if executed wrong, there will be an actual outrage (look at how they reacted to Tommy) so this was/will be a very complicated and complex writing!

- OR casually dropped in (I highly doubt this option)

- Most of all, Chris is the main priority within Eddie’s life, so the Chris Arc and EDDIES arc need to take place PRIOR to canonical Buddie.

- Buck has suspiiously not gone through anything this seaosn.. so keep an eye out for that…

- TOMMY IS NOT BAD. I REPEAT TOMMY IS NOT BAD.

-> Not the right longterm relationshup for either of them, but a HEALTHY one

- Buddie may not go canon this season, but it’s still possible THEY HAVE ALL THE BUILDING BLOCKS

- But on a more media related note, please take into account:

-> Actors comfort

-> ABC’s policies

-> And of course, plotline: due to the NATIONAL/GLOBAL want and demand for Buddie, this arc would over shadow most other arcs, so other character arcs need to take place, and really develop before canon buddie

-> Also, please be respectful of other people, actors, and of course writers. As viewers we don’t see so much, and of course all media can be intperetted in many various ways, and even if you don’t agree, please respect and have compassion for your fellow 9-1-1 enjoyers (specifically regarding all of the listed items).

Ok, Stay safe, stay respectful, stay on the watch for potential buddie themes, be patient and most of all, have compassion for all parties involved, fictional and production wise.

[lenaboskow]

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see i told you you'd regret this for the widow fic

🧠--

Evan Buckley always wondered what it’d be like to meet his soulmates. Since the day he was born, he’d walked around with a reminder of one of them, two black lines wrapped around his right arm, right below his elbow. When he was younger, Maddie had told him his soulmate could either match it, or compliment it, but he wouldn’t know which until he met them.

When he asked her how he’d know it was them if they didn’t match, she’d just smiled and said “You’ll know”.

He never realized exactly how he’d know.

The thing with soulmates is, no one really knows how they work. There were hundreds of different bonds a soulmate pair could share. However, there were two things that always rang true.

⛪️(can't believe this paragraph was exactly 8 sentences)--

“It’s just a suggestion, Eddie. A suggestion. How is that even allowed? Do you think your parents would know that? What if something happened, and your parents tried to contest it? What if we went in front of the wrong judge, and they grant them custody? Of course, you know I’d do anything to fight it, and they’d have to take me away from Chris kicking and screaming, but what if it’s not enough? Middle aged couple with experience raising kids, no matter how fucked up their parenting choices were, looks a lot better than single twenty-something who’s never had a kid before.”

⚡️--

If someone had asked Eddie six months ago what a world without Evan Buckley looked like, he wouldn’t be able to say. If someone had asked him five months ago, he’d be able to say what it’d look like, at least in his personal life, because he was living it. Now, he was faced with the startling realization that he may have to experience what that world looked like on a professional level, too. 

Because for three minutes and seventeen seconds, that world existed, and suddenly Eddie regretted every decision he had made in the last six months that drove Buck away from him.

He didn’t know why he did it. Well, that was a lie. He knew in theory why he did it, but it seemed like a terrible excuse now. 

What was the reason?

🍎--

“I think you’re taking this a little too seriously, Buck.”

“No, I’m not. You weren’t at the last bake sale, you didn’t hear what she said.”

“Well, the brownies were a little crispier around the edges than normal, but that’s fine! We’re firefighters, the PTA understands that sometimes we’re a little rushed to do things and will accidentally leave the brownies in the oven for a minute longer than we’re supposed to.”

Buck stopped what he was doing (mixing the best batch of cupcakes the PTA will ever see, thankyouverymuch), and turned to face his best friend in poorly concealed horror.

“Not you, too, Eds, come on! They weren’t that bad, you could barely even notice.”

🎲--

“Eddie, come on, please? There’s no one else I can ask, and we’ve never missed a game night.”

Eddie sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. 

“Who’s we?” Eddie asked. “Obviously, Josh is missing one.”

“Yeah, but for a perfectly valid reason. He’s sick, Eddie."

[gasping-ghostzes]

Back on my 9-1-1 grind! So here is my little info dump of what’s going on was of the most recent episode!!!

CW: for mentions and details of suicide

1- Bobby,

This man was literally plotting his suicide this episode, or more like acting on it? But first, when he handed in his resignation, I didn’t realise it until thinking about it after the episode finished, but that was his way of preparing the 118 of his absence. Him retiring and having the LAFD be able to replace him with another captain wouldn’t be seen as suspicious especially given his age (no shade to him ❤️) but also just what he’s been thru in recent years. Like the moments of him interacting with the characters one on one and giving them little bits of unjudgmental advice and praise really kind of confirmed it. Also the part where Buck thanks him, and he’s like “it’s been my pleasure kid”, just seemed so off to me, not that it’s outside of Bobby’s character to say that, but the scene of it playing out… u could tell shit was gonna get bad

2- Hen!

I clocked it the moment I saw the lady on screen and the moment Mara and Denny was like “oh yeah, our mums r gonna adopt Mara!” And I could just tell that this lady was gonna pull her strings to stop that from happening! But also, to me, the things that was used as evidence as to why Hem and Karen shouldn’t be allowed to adopt Mara was such blatant bias. Like I know that Hen hasn’t been known to always follow the rules, but she done it with the intent and knowledge that doing it will give her patients a fighting chance, more of a chance than letting them die because she was too strict on following the rules.

3- Eddie…

So, Edmundo? Yeah he needs to go get proper help…

However, ppl saying that his love of Shanon is out of character completely, aren’t thinking about what we know about Eddie hard enough. One, he only got married to Shanon because he got her pregnant and it was advised by his church that it’s the right thing to do… but it was the same with Shanon, she was pregnant and likely had been given thw same advice. But they were both decently young when Christopher was born, so the fact that they held their religion values so close, may have been the reason they never wanted a divorce even after having a more than clear dysfunctional life. But after Shanon died, Eddie never had that option Yknow? Like when Shanon left, there was likely always a part of him that knew she’d come back around eventually because she and him both felt slightly obligated to do so, but that didn’t mean they didn’t live each other, it was just more than dysfunctional. So her death, to him was a permanent state of her never being able to come back for him and Chris to have closure and never continue the attempts of having the average family experience.

Two, Him seeing Kim, a woman who looks like his previous first love, and wanting to have some sort of relationship with her is unhealthy, but it makes sense… he’s claimed to be a “nester” and that’s what he does, so seeing a woman who looks exactly like what he envisioned as who he would “nest” with since he was young, was more than likely triggering.

Three, him never gaining that closure from Shanon and instead wanting to find it in Kim now means he’s able to live a literal delusion. One where he doesn’t exactly acknowledge that what they had was dysfunctional (ignore the word, I can’t find another to describe them accurately) and one where he can “fix” his mistakes. I think the only reason he misses Shanon and speaks of her so highly is because she was as close to a normal life he could get…

Like from what we knew about his life growing up, it definitely wasn’t the best. So him getting to fix that aspects and making sure to give Christopher better childhood. So him having this average, perfect marriage would’ve definitely been apart of him fabricating this perfect life that He, Christopher and Shanon all had is his way of coping how the majority of his life has been uncontrollable. Like Kim coming back with a new hair cut and style only made that fantasy worse. To him that’s not Kim, that’s a Shanon with the dysfunction, cause more than likely, Eddie didn’t tell Kim exactly how him and Shanon worked…

So seeing Kim as Shanon, a version of Shanon who has no “memory” of who she and Eddie were both separate and together was basically his shot at getting a second chance… which I know he isn’t gonna exactly convince himself that Kim is literally Shanon, but that’s not gonna stop him from projecting this skewed and inaccurate version of Shanon he wanted and needed in Kim

[batgrldes]

My God, I just woke up to pandemonium on here! And what do I see but some freshly baked buddie content! I told myself I would step back a little and reduce my expectations but how am I supposed to do that when they give us this? I am trying like an addict to not take another hit of buddie cannon thoughts but here I go again.

I'm not sure what to make of the top picture with Eddie. There's a relaxed nature to him. The familiarity and comfort of his hand on (Buck's?) shoulder says whatever is going on, Eddie is in a good place. He may be talking about his dating life. I still say dating and not relationship because this Era of Eddie is about putting himself out there, not about finding a marriage worthy partner (*grumbling* he's already married to someone.) He's not ready for a serious relationship but is having a good time.

Next we have Buck and Chris. This is a serious conversation of whatever they could be talking about. There are a few possibilities of what it could be:

-Problems at school

-Issues with growing up, puberty, teen stuff.

-Dilemma with his dad

-A lack of Buck in Christopher's life and pulling away

-The Buckley-Diaz family is starting to fracture big time.

These all kind of correlate with each other, which is why it's so hard to pin down what it could be. What I can see is Buck is trying to talk to Chris, but it's not face to face. He is looking away as if it's difficult to talk about, possibly holding back something, or even downright lying about it, (Buck's a terrible liar so it may also be denial or ignorance driving him).

And Christopher is the big red flag here. He is not invested in this convo. He is not looking at Buck and is busy writing in his notebook. Now, I guess he could be writing down what Buck is saying. I see some people saying he's asking Buck about past traumas for a report, but I'm not too sure about that one. This is giving me more, "I here you but I'm not listening" which I could be wrong about, but I feel like it's time for Buck to realize he's not Christopher's number one friend that can do no wrong anymore and has to face the fact that Chris is growing up and is more perceptive about what is going on in his life and in his home.

He's probably wondering why Buck isn't around as much. Teenage life is turbulent and confusing, and neither his Dad nor Buck is around for him to ask stuff. He may be feeling left out or left behind. He may feel a little jaded by Buck since he promised Chris he would always be around. (Gavin is such an amazing actor. I cannot wait to see him in this scene.)

There, I have said my piece about these photos. I may add to this but I'll try not to only in that I don't want to overthink it, as if I already haven't.

- Bonus thought: I really think Buck and Eddie are heading for a break up this season. There is a lot being left unsaid, plenty of trauma between them, and for buddie to work, there needs to be a breakdown and rebuilding of foundations. Not that they have to go clean-slate, but re-evaluate who they are to each other and face their feelings about one another. I need at least one of them to say 'I need you' and realize they are in love. That passion needs to come forward and it most likely will come in the form of a fight.

Okay I'm done.

[mazzystar24]

Hello, I hope you are having a good day. I was wondering if I could ask your thought and possible speculation for next episode. I've read what you've answered so I hope this is not a redundant ask.

I know and we all know that this is gonna hurt Buck to feel left behind to be replaced even maybe not feel good enough to be Eddie's friend (or more but my shipper heart need to calm down) and most of us realise that this is most likely, hopefully the time where buck is gonna realise that he feels more towards eddie. But my question is more regarding Eddie, what do you think happens in his pov? Like eddie doesn't have the same problems as buck regarding abandonment issues but he knows buck has them. You think he gonna realise them like during their basketball fight or after (that is gonna hurt to watch) or maybe someone will point it out? And if he realises it would he also go on a journey to realise his feelings or at least have him question why buck feel that and him wanting buck to realise that he should never think eddie will leave him?

And last then I'm stopping cause I don't want to be a bother, but what about Christopher? You think he's gonna be mentioned? Maybe Tommy mentioning him or something switch the flip for buck to start a fight (I know it's mostly and accident but I dont know how else to put it) or eddie uses christopher to anchor him (more episode 7x05 I guess then)? But that feels like the first one hurts way too much and the second like eddie would mask his feelings by using Christopher as a sort os middle ground/shield.

Sorry for the long ask is just that I ve always been the person whose friends preferred other friends and never picked for teams that sort of thing so just the sneak peak hurts to see and I wanted some insight and I've really liked your take on the whole thing. Also, fun fact the only person that did pick me I ended up marrying so eddie please take note lol

Hey anon thanks and you too! <3

I think Eddie’s perspective is super interesting to get into this episode because I genuinely think that he genuinely doesn’t realise that buck could be jealous because in his head he’s reassured Buck so many times and he himself is so self assured in their friendship and their places in eachothers lives that I think it genuinely doesn’t cross his mind at first to even think buck may be jealous. Like you saw him in that sneak peak like he saw buck and started bouncing on his heels like OMG BUCK IS COMING? YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THATS SO GREAT!!!!!🥰😍👏🏽👏🏽

I think like when he sees the jealousy that seems to be apparently directed toward him over tommy(??) and also towards him having other friends that he’ll be a little pissed and hurt and confused inside but nothing like deep or angsty I think he knows buck enough to like understand how deep his insecurities lie and will very easily overcome this little conflict

I don’t think from his perspective he’d question buddie things based off of this because their relationship has always been different than other friendships and buck has always been very insecure in general so he may hash it up to that, but if buck were to point out that not only is he feeling replaced on a friendship level by Tommy and maybe mention something about Marisol it could cause a little 🤨👀👀👀 moment but I think that’s the secret optimist in me

Ah stop don’t worry about being a bother I legit love these asks, on the Christopher front I think that’d be hard to fit in but would be cool to see, like I think that based off interviews it’s supposed to be a very lighthearted episode so I’m not expecting an overt amount of angst. But Chris is such a huge part of Eddie’s life and this is a character driven episode so I can see them mentioning him. Also I sorta made a joke about this but I can see them not so subtly comparing player Chris at the start of the season to this funny little jealousy thing going on between buck and Eddie.

Again DONT APOLOGISE FOR THE LONG ASKS AND I WONT APOLOGISE FOR THE LONGASS RAMBLING ANSWERS (that’s a lie I will continue to do that but I’m a hypocrite) I totally get what you mean like that is such a shitty feeling but I don’t think that this episode seems to be that angsty so hope it’s lighthearted for you too when it airs. That last part was so adorable btw yes Eddie should take notes from you and your spouse 😌

[bidisasterevankinard]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Tagged by @giddyupbuck <3333 thank you love

Me really post seven? hahaha

I wrote this scene of exes to lovers some days ago and need opinions

prev snippet

context: Buck and Eddie dated after 3x10 till 3x15 when Eddie ended their relationship for "not to fall in love" cause it would make everything not convenient on work. But after lightning he can't deny he's in love and he wants to try again and tries to wait for Buck to feel better after lightning and when Buck in 6x15 talks about Natalia Eddie thinks it's too late and tries to date Marisol but after one date he goes to Buck and tell him he loves him

He never let Buck love him how the man did, but Buck still showed it to him.

But he hates that right now Buck is not just showing that he still may love him, he also shows Eddie he hates him, showing him he’s hurt. Showing that Eddie hurt him and still does it. And Eddie wants to make it better. 

He wants to put his medic hands on the wounds he created, invited under Buck’s skin, on his heart, and heal it. 

Thinking about best ways to put the bandages on Buck’s heart to give Eddie time to find the way to make Buck trust him with this again, to give him chance to keep it in his hands forever, Eddie feels how Buck ends the kiss, but doesn't go more than some centimeters from their faces.

Teal meets hazel for the first time tonight.

“I hate you so much right now,” opposite to his words, Buck only squeezes his waist tighter, almost till his nails can make him bleed.

(more feelings under cut if you want) 

Eddie wants to bleed. He carves all the pain and poison of the last days to go away with some dots of blood. He wants Buck to make him bleed how Eddie left him years ago with a bleeding heart.

“I thought I had stopped hoping. I thought I had finally moved on from you. Three years, Eddie, I was hoping for three years. I dated Taylor and sometimes hoped to wake up with you, not her, but all those times told myself to stop. I tried so hard all those years to move on, but I-I held on you, on pieces of you I still could have, so hard till I felt like trash, like a failure, like I wasn’t enough, but I never could stop. You always let me hold on to you, and I thought you do it for Chris, that you hold on me and let me hold on you for Chris, and you would never do it for us, for me. And when I found powers to finally feel like I moved on, like I’m ready to keep the hope about you aside, like I’m ready to think about my happiness, to put me first, you-you went and said you loved me,” Buck shakes his head from side to side, closing his mouth and clenching his jaws so tightly, “and I'm like a fool coming back after one snap of your fingers,” Buck is crying and Eddie knows he is the reason for every tear from blue eyes, knows he's the reason Buck is so hurt, but he's ready to beg for forgiveness every day, he's ready to never stop trying, he's ready to always admit when he hurt people he loves, even if he did it unintentional. 

“Don't start it if you’ll get scared and break up with me again. I will stay only if you promise to never do it again. Scream at me, cry with me, cry alone, have your time to collect your thoughts and come back to me, but-but don't break up with me, promise me. Promise me, Eds, or I will go away and never get back. Not for loving you at least. I’m tired of holding on to people who don't need it. Who doesn’t ready to work with me to keep us alive, to keep magic when we need fight for it,” Buck looks at him with tears streaming down his face but with face impression showing he is determined to go away if Eddie is not going to be on one page right now, ready to protect his heart and fight for himself. 

And Eddie loves him for finally putting himself first, even above Eddie’s feelings. “I promise, Evan. I promise I'm done running from my feelings. I'm done running from problems. But most importantly I'm done running from happiness. I'm ready to admire all the magic around us when it’s so easy and work for it and our love when we should if it's with you,” Eddie joins their foreheads. “I want to love you when I can, to never feel how I felt after lightning. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone, and I want to love you today and tomorrow and all next days like the day before and only more, not just hope for the possible tomorrow to start. I want to start today,”

Tagging: @diazblunt @alyxmastershipper @lover-of-mine @wikiangela @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @pirrusstuff @fatedking @911onabc @bekkachaos @bigfootsmom @housewifebuck @wildlife4life @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @fortheloveofbuddie @forthewolves @eddiediaztho @watchyourbuck @transbuck @transboybuckley @ladydorian05 @mandzuking17 @hippolotamus @rainbow-nerdss @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @devirnis @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @rogerzsteven @buddierights @cowboy-buddie

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Group Chat

3 geniuses and Buck

Buck: Edwardo

Eddie: Not my name, not anyone’s name, stop

Buck: sparkling, strong famous vampire Edward Anthony Cullen

Eddie: I’m blocking your number

Chim: Buck, please don’t tell me May has indoctrinated you with Twilight

Buck: well you let Maddie get into your movie marathons so

Hen: *team Jacob gif*

Eddie: what did you want Buck?

Buck: where did you put the recipe for Chris’ culture day project? I know you took it

Hen: must you have this conversation in the group chat

Eddie: part of it needed to be adjusted! I put it in the front pocket of his backpack with edits

Buck: Christopher is going to kill you if the tres leches comes out wrong

Eddie: Christopher made tres leches with me and Abuela last month so he knows better

Buck: why is there a wooden spoon in here too?

Eddie: that is Abuela’s special mixing spoon, it makes it taste better, don’t @ me

Buck: since when do you believe in that stuff?!

Chim: seize the imposter!

Chim: hey, what do you think of this photo for the hot fire fighters calendar? *attached image of Chim in a fitted LAFD shirt bending down to take a dandelion from a child wearing his helmet (Jee, back turned to the camera) offering it to him*

Chim: I was going for Mr. April showers turned May flowers who is a lovable family man whose daughter is the cutest and wants to follow in my footsteps because women can do anything men can and probably can do it better but don’t have to leave historical femininity like liking flowers behind but also is fighting gender norms by giving a man the flower and I am of course going to accept because how could you say no to that cute little girl

Buck: 🥹 man you took me there

Eddie: AHSHRKDOSNSHDK

Hen: Chim, you broke them

Chim: that was all Jee, she has her uncles wrapped around her finger lmao

…Inspired by me listening to Red White and Royal Blue on repeat to focus at work. Thank you Casey McQuiston.

As always for @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

[writtenmemxries]

Life is too short to last long

rated t | 4k words

"I need to record something. In case I don't—there's something I need to say. Can you do that for me?"

She sniffles. "Are you bleeding?" she asks a little desperately, ignoring his request. "Are you injured? I can—I can tell you what to do to buy us some time, I can—"

"Linda. Please."

She sighs. "Okay. This call is being recorded. I'll... I'll do it," she says, and he pretends not to hear how her voice is shaking a little.

He clears his throat, letting his eyes wander, but all he can see is dust and dirt, sharp pain and impending doom. He breathes heavily, trying to collect his thoughts, to form a sentence in his head. Then, "Hey Chris," he says, and he has to summon all of his strength to fight back the tears that are already forming in his eyes.

———

Sometimes a broken radio and a recorded message are exactly what it takes to confess your feelings for your best friend.

6x18 speculation fic

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

Linda’s voice echoes in his ears, loud and clear, and he feels something tug at his heart. Regret, maybe, for not having spent as much time with her as he would have liked since he’s left dispatch. He thinks it would have been fun, going out with her and May, or even a double date – Linda and her partner, him and… him and Buck – but he didn’t have enough time.

There was always time, stretching between him and Buck, lulling them to a fake sense of quiet, one they hung onto desperately, until eventually it was too much and too long and they lost sight of each other.

(Maybe there was never enough time.)

“Hello? You called 9-1-1, can you hear me?”

Eddie shuffles, uselessly trying to get comfortable in the mess of debris and dust that he finds himself confined in. A groan escapes his lips when he moves his hurt shoulder the wrong way.

“Sir? Are you hurt? Press anything on the phone to—”

“Linda,” Eddie interrupts her, his voice rough with how much he’s screamed in the past hour. Or is it hours, plural? Is it months, years? He doesn’t know how long he’s been trapped down there, but he feels like he’s running out of air. Running out of time.

“It’s—it’s Eddie,” he says. “Firefighter Diaz.”

[continue on ao3]

[daniclaytcn]

something that intrigues me is that, y’know, buck has NEVER been actually mad at eddie. even the ONE argument they had, in the grocery store, he wasn’t mad at him. he’s been worried for him, upset, guilty, he’s had a myriad of emotions about eddie. even with whatever the hell was going on in their first episode together, that negative emotion didn’t stick around for long. but never genuinely MAD.

so i’m wondering what, exactly, you think it would take for buck to be ANGRY at eddie. (since we KNOW that buck isn’t mad at him about this kim-shannon thing, wasn’t mad about him leaving the 118, wasn’t mad about the fight club, etc.)

this is a tough question to answer tbh. i've always felt, personally, that if and when buck and eddie get together, that will be the thing to open up space for conflict; because beyond how chris may react or repercussions at work, once their respective issues with abandonment, intimacy; their fucked up ideals of love and what relationships are supposed to look like clash...that could be something that finally gets them to fight. but it's hard to give any kind of definitive answer.

[mr-and-mr-diaz]

so i’ve been thinking about it for an additional five minutes and here’s what i’ve got and its kinda blowing my mind. Each person in buck’s life either had a Moment with him either in the coma dream or at his real life bedside, with a few noted exceptions. I’ll explain:

Chimney: coma dream, and MY GOD did they make good use of him here. As the guy who is always first to believe in The Crazy he was PERFECT to be the guy who’s like “yeah alright, one ticket to the crazy train.” I’m sorry but Buck proving that he knew him by knowing why he’s called Chimney had me lollling

Hen: Sceptic. And in the coma dream as the milder voice of reason. Funny, and good at keeping things moving. She and Chimney were also great to have in imaginary land since they are the ones who are the most stable without Buck in their lives, likely because of how much they stabilize each other

Maddie: In the coma dream and IRL, but coma!Maddie is essentially Maddie from season 2. Literally heart breaking. Speaking of, my heart is still not over the way she saw the firefighter at the door and simply said “which one”

Athena and May: Buck’s (let’s face it) step-mom and by association, step sister. They’re in real life because without Bobby there, they don’t ever have much to do with him. They understand clear as day that Buck is Bobby’s other son, and they accepted it ages ago, to the point they find it amusing every step Bobby takes to realize it himself. (Back to Bobby in a moment.)

Eddie and Christopher: They’re of course in IRL because without Buck intervening as he does they wouldn’t have a place in his life or in each other lives (pause so i can SCREEEEEEEEEAM about this) In real life, they’re begging him to come back--or more accurately, Chris is, while Eddie stands silently behind him, barely able to see Buck and crying his eyes out. I think when Eddie wasn’t initially fighting for Chris to see Buck all Hospitalled Up, as it were, is because Eddie didn’t think Chris could handle it. The real truth of the matter is Eddie couldn’t handle it. We saw it ourselves--Chris was shaken, but able to pull himself together enough to say his piece and beg Buck to come back into their lives (insert couch metaphor here, y’all make it fit). Eddie could barely look at the bed, and when he did, his eyes filled with tears and he couldn’t speak. Eddie in the coma dream exists, is mentioned, but he’s lost in his anger, doesn’t have his life-lines to reach out for, is missing the man who has his back, and because of that lost everything. These two men truly are unanchored without each other, and without their son (yeah I said it, sue me), are missing a key element that makes their family a family.

Now Bobby. Bobby is the most notable one who is both there irl and in Buck’s coma dream. The man who entered his second marriage with a son he didn’t fully realize he had, though now he’s definitely realized it. The man who is dead without Buck in his life. Who stayed alive because one pesky kid had the gall to work his pesky way under Bobby’s skin and stressed him out enough to look after him and care and not stop caring until he had a whole goddamn family in his hands, both with Athena and at the 118. I’m still struggling to fully feel all the feels here and btw I think we need to take a moment to give MAD PROPS to Peter Krause for his turn as dead addict Bobby because he was fantastic.

It’s interesting, because for some reason in my head, I expected Buck’s coma dream to actually be really pleasant and happy and the lesson he learns is that life is hard but you gotta do it anyway and you’ll be rewarded for hard work. The coma dream was very different--twisted and, for all that Buck was in it, it was missing him like an open wound. I didn’t realize it right away, but Coma Buck is the Buck that’s born for parts, the Evan Buckley that Buck sees himself as in his own head. 

It’s the Buck that can’t help but reach out to help, that desperately tries over and over again to be the support that he himself is desperate for, that has irrevocably changed lives, with his worn heart out on his sleeve, collecting people that care about it without him really realizing, and in return making them care more about themselves, that makes Buck truly who he is, and makes his actual reality what it is. And that’s goddamn beautiful.

Please add your thoughts to this, my brain is still expanding

@loveyourownsmiilee @blutterlie @matan4il