#eddie knows

[dreambutdontsleepx]

as a possessive, jealous Eddie Diaz truther I actually thing the jealousy switcheroo in buddie is incredibly appropriate.

buck can have other male friends besides Eddie, and he's completely fine about it, cause he's sure of his place in bucks life. he know he's buck's best friend, and would never replace him. he knows that besides Maddie, and the kids (Chris and jee) he's the most important person in bucks life.

When is Eddie jealous? when bucks gets a new girlfriend, when he partners up with Taylor for the treasure hunt instead of him. We see him being actively hostile. Cause that's a position Eddie doesn't fill in bucks life, a romantic partner (even though he wants to), so he's unsure of himself.

When is buck jealous? when Eddie gets new friends, we already saw that with Lena Bosko in season 3, cause buck is insecure of his role in Eddie's life (in pretty much every single life of his friends and family), he fears abandonment. He fears that someone will take his place as best friend. But when Eddie is with Ana, buck is calm in my opinion, he's stressed just cause he can see that Eddie is not happy.

all these words just to say that Eddie Diaz knows he's in love with his best friend, he's known for a long time, that's why he's jealous when buck has a romantic partner. while buck still has his eyes covered to the truth, and in his mind what he and eddie have is a totally normal besties relationship. that's why he's jealous and anxious when Eddie gets a friend.

[gayofthefae]

Nothing will ever be as romantic as the shooting and I mean that. I mean...just wow. 

I just saw the smile again is what I’m saying. I just saw the sedated “hey Buck” smile exchange between them again. My god. Not to mention the sedated betrayal at Buck not loving himself as much as Eddie does (which would hurt more if Eddie had just realized btw jfc). Why has sedation enhanced all these emotions somehow? My god. Like the sedation kept him from expressing them. Just.

I don’t know. The lightning was amazing and I’m so glad it was mutual but this all reminded me more of the well. Buck got hurt near him and he worried like hell. But there was a one and only time that Buck had to watch.

[bi-buck-coded]

Today i will b reading Bia’s ( @usercowboy ) update as soon as I get the email notif. Work? Who is she? Is she more important than this amazing fic that my amazing mutual is writing? No? That’s what i thought 😤

[wtfcookiejar]

I promise Always (part 10)

Y/n eyes were blurry when she rubbed them in the morning and she could feel a warmth pressed against her back. She remembered where she was instantly but she totally wasn't prepared to see EDDiE in bed with her. So she froze when she saw him hand resting gently on her hip.

He was snoring much like he did as a child when they had napped together. Y/n face grew red and she scooted away making sure that everything she had worn from the dinosaur undies Uncle Wayne had given to her was in place.

She started smacking the front of her head with her hand. She had slept with a man and they weren't married! Her father could kill her. She started gathering her things when Eddie sat up and opened his eyes.

"Good morning Princess..."

"OH MY GOD... I am so so sorry." She bowed nervously," i took up your bed and your clothes-" then came the Japanese as she took her things and backed out of the room carefully. What had she been thinking? She was so tired. She continued to speak to herself in rapid Japanese and find the clothes she had worn yesterday

***

Eddie looked at her his eyes wide as she randomly started apologizing and speaking Japanese. All Eddie could think about was how utterly stunning she was... and the little forehead kiss he'd given her.

Shit she doesn't remember.. Eddie felt his heart skip a beat and he called out to her," WAIT!"

All the movement in front of the dryer he could hear stopped. He could hear the small Japanese curses as she struggled into her jeans.

" I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR TO SCHOOL!!!!!" She sounded panicked

Eddie looked at the shirt he was wearing and pulled it over his head. He stuck his hand to the door," Here wear this... I will wait till your dressed..." The shirt was snatched quickly and he got dressed in something comfortable and looked at the clock. It was 7:30 . SHould he make her breakfast?

"you can come out now..." was a tiny squeak as Eddie stood on the other side waiting

His heart almost jumped out of his chest the minute he saw her dressed in his shirt. She was combing her hair into loose braids and looked at Eddie's cheeks glowing a shade of pink. She wasn't wearing any makeup and Eddie thought this was the most beautiful creature ever created. " I didn't mean to scare you.." He murmured softly as he passed her and went to the kitchen.

"Y-your fine..." She muttered and headed for her backpack on the couch. There was mumbling was all in some foreign dialect but Eddie could tell just by her face that she was troubled over the contents of her bag.

"Do you need something to eat or drink?" Eddie reached into the fridge thinking he might be able to soothe her with breakfast.

"I'm sorry what?" She asked and Eddie watched as she looked at her books worried.

"breakfast. Like first meal of day?" Eddie sounded confused even to himself.

"C-can I just use the phone?" Her eyes were wide almost pleading and she looked like she was about to bust into tears.

Eddie in his mind wanted to walk over and wrap his arms around her but he just rubbed the back of his head and mumbled a quiet sure. as he cracked some eggs into a pan and scrambled them pulling out plates as they finished and setting them down on the table when he noticed a polaroid he'd never seen before.

It was the two of them together his hands in her hair dead asleep and an arm wrapped around her holding her close to his chest she looked so peaceful. Looking Up Eddie saw her speaking quietly to someone on the phone in another language and he quickly pocketed the polaroid. He could look at it later.

"Eggs are done. " He called softly in a cheery tone as she hung up the phone.

***

Eddie was acting as if this was normal. A girl in his bed all night dressed in his clothes.

Her dads words kept bouncing around in her head," It's not like the first time you guys have shared a bed."

But she thought of her mother as she ate eggs across from Eddie at the small table. She wasn't even in makeup and he was dressed and already picking at the heavy metal rings on his fingers.

"You wear a lot of jewlery." Y/n mustered finally as she popped a yellow egg in her mouth to taste. The eggs were soft and spiced carefully.

"Does it bother you?" He asked and her face went red.

"N-no.... I've just never seen men with rings..." She tried lying but her fingers shook a little as she did.

Eddie was careful as he looked at his fingers and he pulled one off offering it to her," They are heavy...but I love the sound they make when I'm doing stuff like playing guitar. "

Y/n was gentle as she fingered the ring it was silver and looked like a skull. The metal looked polished. She offered it back to him and he shook his head moving one of the other rings on his left to his right hand,"Keep it." he muttered softly.

Y/n was stunned. He offered her one of his treasures and she couldn't fathom why," but isn't it important? " She asked and he smiled.

"No, Princess. I'll just find another one at Eunices shop." he smiled and scooped eggs into his mouth really fast," you keep that one safe."

It seemed a little surreal to be sitting across from him so early. "You can borrow my books if you want." He offered looking at her as she finished his eggs.

"Im mostly upset my tolkein book got wet.."

"Which one?" Eddie grabbed her empty plate setting it in the sink, his voice a touch softer than before

"The Hobbit..."

Eddie disappeared back into his room and Y/n's heart raced. She tried counting backward to get it to steady but she couldn't. So she closed her eyes and tried meditating right in her chair.

When Eddie came back he had a pile of school books and one copy of The Hobbit," Switch with me I'll get all your books dried out today and get them back to you." he sounded embarrassed almost

"Don't you need them?" y/n was quiet as she fingered the books.

Eddie shook his head," I have yours so I'll be fine and it's just till I get the books dried out, we should head out though we don't wanna be late for first class."

"Your right.." Y/n response was quiet as she gathered the books and went back to her bag. Her walkman sat inside the plastic bag she had wrapped it in before setting off on foot. She kept her notebooks which were only slightly damp and handed her books to Eddie. He was gentle as he took them and he put The Hobbit in his back pocket like a treasure.

They headed out to the car together and Y/n couldn't help but finger the ring in her front pocket.

***

Eddie felt like he was losing it. She was in the front seat of his car. She'd eaten his breakfast and now they were headed to school together.

This was weirder than any date he'd ever been on and he couldn't stop looking at her as she fiddled with her hair in his mirror and tried to put on the basics of makeup. He didn't think she needed it. In fact, he wanted to tell her to take it off. But she was determined so he sat in silence trying to remind himself how to drive carefully.

Usually, Eddie drove like a maniac but he didn't wanna mess up what she was doing and he was trying to be polite.

"Doesn't that stuff itch?" He asked as she applied mascara.

"Not if you apply it right and don't touch it too much. " She responded and then looked him dead in the eyes. Eddie's heart skipped a couple beats and he felt his ears getting red so he looked back to the road.

"C-can I ask a favor?" Y/n was suddenly quiet.

"Sure princess." He said casually but he was secretly hanging on to her every word.

"Can we not talk about last night at school?" Her voice cracked a little and Eddie felt his heart rate go faster. Remembering the image in his pocket.

"Anything for you princess." He said and he saw her cheeks go red from the corner of his eyes.

"Thank you Eds." She responded and shut her eyes leaning against the window. It seemed like she was focusing on something as she kept her finger in the pocket where the ring he'd surrendered to her lay.

***

Y/n was getting her heartbeat under control when they rolled into the school parking lot. Eddie was lost in thought and the two of them sat in silence for a moment.

"Why don't you get out first and I'll go smoke... That way people won't see us together." Eddie mustered up knowing she probably didn't want to be seen with him.

" Why can't we just get out together?" She asked quietly still not opening her eyes. Eddie noticed a panicked sound to her voice and suddenly he found himself back out of the parking space he was in.

"fuck it. You look queasy, I'm taking you home." Eddie said and he was driving down the road before Y/n had even opened her eyes. He felt a huge urge to protect the girl in his car.

"Eds we have school." She muttered her eyes still closed. head against the window, he could tell she didn't feel good.

"Don't care anymore. Your pail princess," he was already headed toward her house, unsure of what was happening to her he drove like a maniac.

When he pulled into the driveway her father came rushing out," Eddie where is she?"

But Eddie was already getting out the door and going around to the passenger side. He had her gathered in his arms before her dad could even touch her and the two of them rushed inside. "She kept getting sleepier in the car and now she's not talking and barely breathing." Eddie rushed

"She's gotten a shock. I got a page from the office. " Her dad was careful as he ushered Eddie into her room. Eddie laid her down carefully on the bed which was covered in a beautiful pink and red quilt.

"Shock?" Eddie asked carefully after he'd stood.

"The pacemaker, she's had heart problems since she was born.... I took her to Japan where I could do surgery at half the cost sometimes the pacemaker acts up." Her fathers voice was panicked. as he pulled out a bottle with a syringe.

"Whoa -Woah. Your gonna stick her?" Eddie had hands in his hair he was feeling a sense of panic he'd never felt in his whole life.

"It's medication, that helps calm the heart, and lets her rest. " Her father offered as he drew a little from the vial and pinched the back of her arm and gave her a shot like he'd done it a million times before," I need to get the system from the garage. Hook her up and monitor her. Can you sit and make sure she stays breathing?"

Eddie had a hand on his face but he nodded. He heard her dad get up and sat down on the edge of the bed just barely out of touch and looked at her

"You can't go anywhere...," he whispered and reached out to take her hand,"you just came back."

"Frett not Edward. She's just gonna need a good old nap and monitoring for 24 hours." Her father said as he sat down what looked like a heavy box and a radio-looking device," give me a hand moving the lamps and things. I need to set up."

Eddie wasn't one for questioning but he did ask," isn't taking her to the hospital safer?"

"Son, I have studied medicine since before I was married and was half the age you are now. My daughters' treatment has been seen by the best minds in japan. Besides she feels guilty anytime I take her to the hospital, no matter how much ice cream I offer..." His voice was smooth as he connected a few wires to her chest and He threw the cords to Eddie who plugged them into the wall by the lamp he'd already hastily unplugged along with an old clock that he just set aside.

"Eddie?" there was a soft voice from the bed.

Eddie couldn't help it he went back for her hand letting her dad sort out the medical equipment.

"Eddie she's asleep. " her father said softly.

"Has she always talked in her sleep?" Eddie asked her fingers running up and down her hand gently massaging.

Her father stood against the door smiling,"it started the year we left Hawkins."

Eddie looked at the bedspread. "She hated the minute we left here. Her mother taught her to sit and color. She would sit for hours and doodle, when she learned to write her methods changed. She still writes to you everyday." Her dad was smiling.

Eddie looks at the bedspread confused," She writes to me?"

"That girl has loved you since the minute you met at the park. " Her father scratched his head.

"Not possible My mom was arrested when I was one. " Eddie tried jacking every memory he had from his head he could remember the inseparable moments.

"Yeah, we moved in a weak after your mother left. My wife found you in the infant swing while Wayne was pushing you. You'd been crying all day and Y/n reached out and pulled your hair and you stopped crying. Like it was magic. " Her dad was smiling and Eddie shook his head

"No, we met at two."

"you guys were babies and inseparable. You'd cry endlessly if you weren't with her. When you guys turned 2 Wayne decided to potty train and sleep in your own bed. SO technically you remember the stuff from when you were two... That's interesting ." Her father stood straightening his sweater

"I don't remember meeting her.." Eddie confessed

"She doesn't either." Her father pulled back the quilt and set her legs underneath it covering her up to the waist.

"I thought she knew she was leaving, why didn't you just send me the letters? " Eddie set y/n hand down and looked at her father.

"She tore it up on the plane crying for you." Her dad chuckled and smiled rubbing the back of his head

Y/n murmured something in Japanese and her father burst out laughing.

"What did she say? " Eddie asked this time sitting right next to her and holding her hand watching her face.

"She just called you a dramatic dumbo." Her father snickered and turned to go," Get some reading done while your here. The letters are in the pink boxes under the bed. "

Eddie's mouth dropped open thinking bout it but he was on duty to watch and protect her. So he looked under the bed.

"They belong to you anyway, let me know if she wakes okay?" Then her dad was gone and Eddie couldn't help but start reading. Most of them started the same way, Dearest Eddie. Others are more excited EDS! Eddie watched her as he read from oldest to newest. Every letter was detailed and effortless. Her feelings were left exposed in ink.

By the time it was dark Eddie had only one letter left to read and he tucked it into his pocket and organized the letters back into her boxes like he found them. Then he crawled into bed with Y/n and closed his eyes finally understanding all of it. He fell asleep her hand resting in his hair.

@whatareyouhidingpeter

Thanks for all the patience. This chapter was packed so I needed to make sure I wrapped it up nice

[mariekanker]

visual gags that are well made and smart

[ayo-edebiri]

#Guess who's the only one allowed to stay

[nostalgic-shamefest]

He's getting dragged out, kicking and clawing at the closet!

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

[gayofthefae]

The second to last gif is the same look he gave in What’s Your Fantasy and you can’t convince me otherwise.

eddie "heart eyes" diaz

[girldadbuckley]

I think I'm just gonna stick it out.

[vanmarkus]

9-1-1 • S7E10 ↳ “All Fall Down”

[gayofthefae]

Im I have some dulusional thoughts that are just for outside the show and not like expectations and one of them rn is how this episode seriously backs up the whole Eddie realized his feelings when he got shot thing.

Oh, you suddenly are very uncomfortable with your girlfriend? You need to break up with her? You're petty towards your best friend's girlfriend? You're counting the months since he broke up with her? You're not allowing yourself to admit your fantasies? You "don't remember anything else about the shooting"? Hmm...sounds pretty gay to me...

[gayofthefae]

I would like to add:

Eddie opening his eyes once Buck's gone after telling him to break up with Ana

Also, yeah, this was a really fun idea then, but now it has the implication that - not unlike the will - he has known for OVER A YEAR.

Wait! Not. Unlike. The. Will. Eddie is known to keep secrets for a year. From Buck. Within that, the writers are known to not *tell* us while he is doing so EVEN if it is important until Buck finds out. So is it really so crazy to suggest that we wouldn't be let in on this secret either?

Okay, but that wasn't what I was originally gonna say. What I was originally going to say was that to me, things like the lasagna conversation and just his general demeanor actually very much lend themselves to what I just mentioned. Look at that! My brain is so smart! That like with the will - Eddie has no intention of telling Buck. To him, it's none of his business. He's not seeking anything out from it. It's like he said: he's just allowing himself to feel it. And not admit it or treat it as something he wants rather than feels because sometimes fantasy is better than reality. So he'll let it be a fantasy. A daydream. Rather than some unattainable goal. This way it can be something good.

And this additionally lends itself again to why they've put off the ultimate shooting conversation for long. They can't untangle their emotions about each other in relation to the shooting from Eddie's feelings for Buck. Whether he remembers or not - because he might not remember narratively - he would have still remembered realizing even if he doesn't remember the specifics of the blood on his face or asking if he was hurt or the exact moment, he would remember having had the thought just like he remembers thinking "this is it". In fact, it was likely the same thought - thought in the same breath, so to speak. Buck may be able to say how scared he was of losing Eddie, which is likely why we see him initiating the conversation more: he has less stake in it. Eddie, on the other hand, can't say the thought of Buck that crossed his mind as he was dying. So it's either all or nothing. It's either I remember it or "that was it".

And I do to a degree believe he doesn't remember every moment we saw. I would believe that he doesn't remember asking Buck if he was hurt, for example, or Buck carrying him into the ambulance. And maybe it's just my brain autofilling it...but maybe it's something about Ryan's delivery. I *really* thought when Eddie looked up like he had just thought of something right before he said "And I thought, this is it" that he was going to say "...and I remember you." Maybe I just read his mind. Because maybe those thoughts WERE intrinsically tied. "I remember thinking it was the end of my life" and "I remember thinking of you". Maybe he did think "I remember thinking of you", he just worded it a little differently.

Edit:

Also maybe the implications of how that call with the two best friends in 504 only worrying about and thinking of each other in last moments would have impacted Eddie. Once again, I am recommending "the ache in my mouth" on ao3. My favorite fic; I am gonna go reread it right now, actually.

The whole “Eddie pretends not to remember Buck during the shooting” is giving serious “The shooting was Eddie’s oh moment” vibes which, in turn is making me insane.

The implications of Eddie being aware of his feelings for Buck during s5 and s6 are driving me up the walls. They recontextualize everything:

Eddie’s reaction when Buck teased him about getting serious with Ana

The look during the pool game

Eddie’s panic attacks

Eddie’s reluctance to tell Buck about it

Buck being the one who tells him not to ‘stick it out’ if he isn’t in love

Eddie leaving the 118

The look he gave Buck from across the bar when he felt outside the 118 and chose not to join them

Eddie jumping dispatch chain of command to talk down the car bomb

You’re the guy who wants to fix things

Buck showing up during his breakdown

Eddie opening up to him

Buck looking after Chris so he can go to therapy

The equine therapy intervention

Their reunion during May Day

The kitchen/couch scene

“What are you offering?”

“You mean your last two girlfriends came with couches”

Him and Chim sharing a look and trying to take Buck and Hen for breakfast

Buck where the hell are you going???

The donor thing!!!!!

THE LIGHTNING

Can you hear me?????

Do more!

The hospital

Everything about 6x12

If it turns out that Eddie was AWARE of his own feelings for Buck through all that I’m going to absolutely yeet myself into the fucking sun

Edit: I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THIS WOULD MEAN EDDIE KNEW HE LOVED BUCK DURING THE “It would’ve been better for him if I was the one that got shot” AND DURING THE WILL THING!!!!

[hirakiyois]

you're laughing. beloved network tv show 911's resident single dad with repressed homosexuality is dating three people at once and you're laughing.

[nyaslashthreat]

shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set

[morganbritton132]

Post-Starcourt Steve and Robin needing to get the hell out of the mall parking lot and being like, “I have this friend. He’s close.”

Cut to Eddie standing at his bedroom door, holding his guitar like an axe because he’s pretty sure someone just broke into his house and is going to murder him. When he busts out the door holding a lamp above his head (didn’t want to break his guitar), he nearly bludgeons a couple of puke covered ice cream sailors.

After they all stop screaming, Steve looks at the lamp and nudges it like, “Lighten up, man.”

Eddie: What are you doing here?

Steve: Relax, my friend lives here.

Eddie: I live here

Steve: Are you my friend? No??? Then I’m talking about someone else. Duh. *makes a gesture to Robin like ‘this guy.’*

Robin, making the same gesture back: We are going to sleep on your couch.

Eddie: …Are you guys high?

Steve & Robin, after considerable thought: A little.