#ed first mate

[therealhitman2]

This is the first mate of the CN Eminent Domain. Be aware that your flight lead is staying in this ship for an unknown amount of time for his personal reasons. Just letting you know.

They're in the fucking walls. The fucking crimsons are like cockroaches right now so I don't blame him!

[eminent-domain-first-mate]

Crimplushie was brought into your room with you, he happily jumped on the bed

[This is the same guy who dropped nukes on your capital]

Right... I'm going to leave you here for a few moments, I got work to do... don't break anything or you're getting locked in the safe and I'm NOT letting you out.

[She leaves, sighing and locking the door behind her.]

[therealcaptainwoodward]

"OVER GLORIFIED METAL TUBE"?????????? MOTHERFUCKER I WILL FIND YOU AND FRY YOU ALIVE ON A RAILGUN

@eminent-domain-first-mate @eminent-domain-crewblog y'all hear something?

[eminent-domain-first-mate]

Hahahahahaha, this is fun.

How about you fly into a cordium container, you fuckin twig? You're the one to nuke a city using cordium and part of the country that erased a whole city using cordium.

Cope, seethe, mald.

<< You know what? Fuck you! I’ll make sure your bloodline ends with you, you shitty, lifeless, failed- >>

[Sorry. This is Crystal Kingdom, and if you saw Crimson 1 rant, no you didn’t.]

[achillesangst]

Thinking retrospectively about how much of a fucking dumbass Ed is in season 1 lmao

[sarucane]

Why did Ed shoot Izzy then?

Figured I'd go ahead and rant about this because once I started thinking about it, it took a bit to unpack, and someone might be interested? Eh, anyway

So the reason this is actually an odd moment is this: it comes across as careless, but Ed's real violence is never careless. Ed's violence is actually really precisely targeted. He has a reputation for violence, total strangers call him a "fucking madman," and he does do some stuff offscreen ("I have seen you maim a few people") but in terms of what we actually see on our screens Ed becomes violent himself very, very rarely.

But here, he shoots Izzy. A very violent act, done casually and to someone he knows personally.

Why? Izzy thinks it's because of Stede, says himself in this scene that the source of the poison on the ship is Ed's feelings for Stede, tells Stede Ed shot him "because I dared to mention your fucking name."

But that just doesn't track. Ed is clearly brooding over Stede at several other points, and he doesn't get remotely violent. He doesn't join in the fighting at the wedding when he sees the figurine that looks like Stede or throw it against the wall later, or even become violent in any of the scenes that figurine appears in. If anything, the evidence rather suggests that Izzy has mixed up "poison" and "cure": Ed gets notably more chill when he's looked at that figurine recently.

So why does Ed shoot Izzy here? And when Izzy came to him a few minutes before with "I have love for you, I'm worried about you," why did Ed blow him off, then get scary at something that did invoke Stede?

Well, because it's Izzy who's saying this. It's not Stede himself, it's the combo of Ed having Izzy and Stede in his head at the same time that's provoking violence.

Izzy set the terms for this relationship. Ed was vulnerable and open, and Izzy said that was a fate worse than death. Ed thought he was in a safe space, and Izzy threw shame and threats at him.

Ed conformed to Izzy's expectations, directly and completely. Izzy was clearly happy that Ed was cutting off his toe and making him eat it. Izzy set the rules, and Ed followed them. That's right down to the scene before this, when Izzy says that the crew are refusing to throw away the treasure and Ed says "and that's another toe." There are rules, they're being followed.

And then Izzy goes and tries to change the rules. Tries to encourage Ed to be vulnerable. Invokes the original source of the pain that made Ed vulnerable in the first place.

It's actually kinda admirable that Izzy does this. What he's doing is beginning to acknowledge how wrong he was before. But it's too little (he still thinks of Stede as a problem, not a solution) and far too late.

Ed's not going to take anything that hits him where he hurts from Izzy. He followed the rules--hell, he's still following the rules when he shoots Izzy, hits him on the same leg that was losing toes. He doesn't owe Izzy one iota of vulnerability. And more importantly, he can't become vulnerable with Izzy. The relationship is absolutely and completely entrenched. This story ends with one of them killing the other. And just like Izzy's the one who started them on the path of that story, now Ed's the one who's going to push it forward.

[eminent-domain-first-mate]

Crimplushie looked at the tall woman with innocent eyes after spilling all the shells on the deck.

":3"

[She was clearly frustrated at the plushie, testing her patience. She picks it up.]

Right, what the hell do you want? Seriously. Im close to sending you to a Federation cruiser via torpedo so don't fucking anger me.

Well... @eminent-domain-crewblog, may you please assist in the securing of unsecured ordinance up on deck? I'm going to go secure this thing amd I'll be with you shortly.

[She goes below decks and locks the plushie into an empty secure safe, no way to get out from the inside.]

[eminent-domain-first-mate]

Ew... French.

We all love Frost in this household. Despite never drawing her.

[therealcaptainwoodward]

What do you think of your first mate?

There are rare times we don't see eye to eye especially our arguably more funny moments, but when I need her to be I have her on her A game and by my side both figuratively and literally.

[jellybeanium124]

now izzy did verbally and psychologically abuse ed for years on end, forcing him to play his violent persona until he became passively suicidal, and then verbally attacked him again while he was already down causing him to be actively suicidal, but ed did communicate with him poorly and responded in the way izzy wanted when izzy told him to be blackbeard again or else, so who's really the worse one here??

[ourfag]

i havent rewatched s2 in a little bit so idr whether he keeps doing it but theres something funny to me about how s1 izzy spits everywhere on purpose and im pretty sure hes the only character to spit on the ground at all. he spits contemptuously on the ground in the island forest. he spits contemptuously on the deck of ed’s ship. he spits an entire mouthful of tea/booze all over the deck of the revenge just so the crew has to clean it up. he addresses the crew at announcement-level volume with a mouth full of food. i can only assume its been driving ed batshit crazy for years

[eminent-domain-first-mate]

WHAT? Well, shit! Get that fixed, I'm finding that fucking plushie. If you see any god-damned C1 plushie, bring it to me, immediately.

Hear what? Maybe that Crimson plushie is back.

@therealcaptainwoodward CAPTAIN THE REC ROOM FLOODED, A PIPE BURST!

Well, i guess the swimming pool is bigger now?

[arsenicflame]

y'all ever think about Sam & Izzy in a no-name port, in a house, in their house, the place they've met in secret for decades? sharing the few days they can snatch from the unforgiving passage of time, holding each other, knowing it's going to end again before they're ready? knowing that perhaps this is the last time they'll ever get to do this, and they won't know until it's already happened? I sure do

[neurosiscocktail]

Okay so here’s my pitch for the season 3 cold open-

We open to a close up of Stede’s face, he’s clearly concentrating, he’s sweating a little, and covered in blood. It’s pretty clear as we pan out to a shoulder shot that he just killed someone. He looks very sexy about it.

We switch to a close up of Ed’s face, sweaty, clearly has just been fucked. Maybe his top button is done up wrong. Who knows.

The shot pans out and we start hearing their conversation. They are outside the inn, digging up Izzy (stick with me)- they’re talking about how silly they feel for just now realizing this is the problem- OF COURSE Izzy has been so mad, they didn’t bury him with his ring! How silly of them! And they didn’t even notice until someone tried to rob them and Stede killed the robber (and they fucked about it). THAT must be why Izzy won’t stop haunting them. They tuck the ring into his breast pocket and start to rebury him.

Next shot- we find out that they think Izzy has been haunting them because of a the ~weird happenings~ at the Inn. The haunting does not stop after they bury the ring. This part of the episode starts very creepy, real horror movie vibes. However, we find out through the course of the episode that what they think is a haunting is just two whim prone chuckleheads with no experience running an Inn.

“All of the produce mysteriously went bad!” - Stede, whose experience with food preparation is putting marmalade on toast just left them too close to the fire and the heat did what it does to produce.

“The room keys keep going missing!” Nope. Ed simply cannot remember where he put them.

“The desk bell keeps ringing at night but there is no one there!” It’s buttons the seagull fucking with them.

They both think they’re responsible for the haunting and having a crisis about it. Idk, dealers choice about what they feel guilty about.

They are losing their fucking shit over this haunting. Maybe Izzy shows up once or twice in a Badminton style memory ghost.

We pan back to The Revenge. It’s a total parallel to what happened with the red suit.

They also think they are being haunted by Izzy.

The word “twat” keeps appearing carved into random places aboard the ship. Frenchie’s peanut allergy is back full swing. They keep sailing into storms by accident. Etc

They set sail for the Inn, desperate to ask Ed to control the ghost of his dead best friend or burn the body, anything to get rid of this fucking ghost.

It’s Jim fucking with them and dumb luck. (Except for the storm thing, it’s just impossible for anyone to read the weather as well as Ed)

They all meet up at the Inn, and now we have a Scooby Doo style episode where the ghost was the friendship and character growth we made along the way.

And then for an extra layer of comedy, maybe at the end of the season we see Izzy’s ghost just sort of old man loitering around the ship because he didn’t want to leave what I am affectionately deeming his kids.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[luciuscodedswedeboy]

sorry to get on my father figure soap box again but the clearest way we know that even DJenks himself doesn’t believe Izzy is Ed’s father figure is that Ed never for a single moment behaved towards Izzy like he did towards Pop Pop

[eminent-domain-first-mate]

No problem, glad to have you on board! Without you, the Eminent Domain would've been underwater so... it's the least we could do to repay the favour.

Hope that the Eminent Domain and the 3 meals a day are to your liking, Monarch. Decided to sneak in some fruit gummies you like for your next few meals with us here.

Thank you.