#and ed told Izzy he had to be loyal to him when Ed asked him to fulfil that role like??

[luciuscodedswedeboy]

sorry to get on my father figure soap box again but the clearest way we know that even DJenks himself doesn’t believe Izzy is Ed’s father figure is that Ed never for a single moment behaved towards Izzy like he did towards Pop Pop

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

Pieces of media my mom has seen and the popular MLM ships in them that she doesn't think are gay:

MCU - Stucky (note that she does get a kick out of Stony stuff and she believes wholeheartedly that those two hate fucked in a not-filmed scene of Avengers 2012 so this is not about her thinking "oh Captain America is so straight-laced because he's the ideal American man" or anything)

MCU - Poolverine (she's fully aware and accepting of the fact that both Logan and Wade are canonically queer characters but she thinks all the flirting Wade did with Logan in the newest movie didn't necessarily mean anything because "he talks like that to everyone". Side note though: while she believes Wade should be with Vanessa, she does think that Logan can and should shoot his shot with Wade after Vanessa inevitably dies since he and Wade are both immortal. It's just that she thinks Wade should get his happy ending with Vanessa first.)

MCU - Lokius ("Mama have you ever seen a man fix another man's tie like that" "No but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen! I wouldn't know though; it's been like 15 years since I worked a corporate job.")

Sonyverse/Marvel - Symbrock ("They literally have a symbiotic relationship. That doesn't make them gay." So I showed her the comics where Eddie calls Venom "love" and gives birth to Venom's babies and she said "Fine you win but please never show me alien man birth ever again."

Supernatural - Destiel ("They're like Steve and Bucky! They're brothers in arms! They've been through hell and back together!" Note that she only watched through season 5 but she does know about a lot of their later interactions because I told her about them)

House M.D. - Hilson ("Dot I watched that whole show and they were never anything more than good friends" "What about when House admitted to thinking about Wilson during sex? What about that whole episode where they pretended to be gay for each other to prove a point to a neighbor and Wilson proposed? What about that whole episode where Wilson had to furnish the apartment and House told him not to let a woman tell him what to do but Wilson let House tell him what to do? What about the whole ending?" "Why can't two men just be close enough friends to joke about that stuff with each other?"

Real life - Me and my best friend of the same gender orientation who I've kissed multiple times and have had a requited crush on for years that neither of us have ever persued for logistical reasons (I literally used me and this friend to try and prove my mom wrong about Stucky and Destiel. I asked her if she thought me and this friend were like brothers and she said yes with a straight face)

Sherlock - Johnlock (to be fair this is the BBC ship name, but she doesn't think any iteration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are the slightest bit gay. "They're business partners and roommates.")

Our Flag Means Death - BlackHands (Should go ahead and say that I'm not really a BlackHands shipper myself; we both really enjoyed Stede and Ed's romance in the show. BUT it takes so much away from Izzy's character and his development if you don't acknowledge that he was jealous of Stede and in love with Ed, at least a little. My mom thought Izzy was just an extremely loyal first mate.)

Also, for the record, I'm not trying to call my mom out as homophobic. I'm queer and so are two of my siblings and she's very supportive of us. There are gay romcoms she enjoys like Our Flag Means Death and Red, White, and Royal Blue. The reason I'm making this list is because I think it's really funny how she doesn't understand the concept of queerbaiting (not that all of the above listed ships are queerbaiting). She thinks things are either explicitly straight or explicitly queer (whether it's gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc) and cannot comprehend the idea that some character relationships are deliberately pushing the boundaries of straight friendships into queer relationships to get more minority viewers and I think her explanations are funny.

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

Loyalty

Summary: Izzy Hands has always been loyal, always needed somewhere to place that loyalty, even the crew of the Revenge knew that and could respect it to some extent. Only...they didn't think it was possible for him to be more loyalty to somebody that wasn't Blackbeard. At least...until you come back.

Word Count: 8331

“First mate Hands! Three vessels approaching,” Buttons called from up on the quarterdeck. He didn’t turn to look for the first mate, or anyone else for that matter, he just stared out at the open ocean and the three specks in the distance that were approaching in a V formation.

“Fuck,” Izzy strode over to his side and pulled out his spyglass to get a good luck at the approaching fleet. Three vessels. Three of them. There was no way the Revenge and her crew could take them on, he hoped the winds were right to flee.

All worries of fleeing or fighting left Izzy, leaving him cold and in shock. The flags raised on the three ships were familiar, causing an aching in his chest. A distinct flag he never thought anyone would see again and, somehow, he knew that nobody else had come across the design and claimed it for themselves. Somehow, for some inexplicable reason, he just knew. The way Edward always knew how the weather would turn. He felt it in his goddamned bones, in his very being.

“Fuck…” Izzy’s curse came out weaker this time, breathier.

“Orders?” Buttons asked, not seeming perturbed in any way by Izzy’s reaction. Maybe he just didn’t notice. Izzy hoped he didn’t notice.

“Drop anchor, raise Blackbeard’s flag…and prepare to let them board,” Izzy ordered stiffly.

As if from nowhere, the fucking scribe appeared, always showing up at the worst times. “We’re letting them board?” he asked, both insubordinate and concerned. Where did the little shit even come from? “Shouldn’t we, like…be moving in the other direction, very fast?”

“Nobody fucking asked you,” Izzy snarled. “Just do as I said, I’ll deal with the captains,” he didn’t give them any time to argue with him, already leaving.

“You’re really going to do what he said?” Lucius asked, turning to Buttons. He could smack himself, looking to Buttons of all people for some sensible behaviour.

“Aye, they are the orders,” Buttons nodded. That was that.

“Oh my God, we’re going to die,” Lucius whispered to himself, frowning at the three dots in the distance.

-

Izzy knocked on the door to the captain’s cabin and waited for some muffled shout to be invited in. He already knew this was going to be tricky, so he entered as formally as he could, not looking to cause problems. Not this time. He closed the door and stood in front of the couch where the two captains sat.

“There is a fleet approaching, three ships, we’re preparing to let them board,” Izzy reported.

“Let them board?” Bonnet asked, eyes wide and curious.

“Why the fuck are we doing that?” Edward asked lowly, at least giving Izzy a chance to offer a reasonable explanation.

“It’s Captain L/n,” Izzy told him. Bonnet blinked, wondering if that should mean something to either of them.

Clearly, it meant something to Edward because he tensed a little, glaring at Izzy now. “...so you went above my head?”

“They aren’t here for a fight. We’ve raised Blackbeard’s flag, they’ll know who we are. They aren’t going to raid us,” Izzy reasoned.

“If they’re here, they’re here for us. It’s not a mistake,” Edward agreed with that at least. 

Izzy just nodded, letting Ed believe whatever he wanted to believe. Izzy already knew why you were here, there was only one thing you would come for.

“You know each other?” Stede asked.

Izzy felt the need to roll his eyes but hold himself back. “We used to sail together,” he answered instead before insisting, “they aren’t going to attack us.”

Edward huffed, throwing himself back in his seat. “Fine, whatever. Let us know when they’re preparing to board,” he dismissed the first mate.

“Aye, Captain,” Izzy nodded, taking his leave without complaint nor hesitation.

“Is everything alright?” Stede asked Edward carefully.

“The crew will be fine,” Edward promised, putting those worries to rest. “Haven’t seen L/n in years, they got into some trouble a while back and disappeared. Looks like they got themselves a fleet together, though…”

-

The largest ship in the fleet expertly pulled up along the side of the Revenge and dropped anchor. The crew of the Revenge watched, antsy and curious, as the other ship’s crew prepared the gangplank.

Edward and Stede had come up onto the deck to overwatch the crew and to greet the boarding crew. Izzy stood by Edward’s side, trying not to fidget or bounce his leg in anticipation.

On the deck of the other ship they could see the crew thrumming about, securing the ship, preparing. Izzy’s gaze wandered to the helm, heart skipping a beat when he saw the familiar figure speaking with a member of their crew.

Izzy could already feel the excitement bubbling in his chest.

Once the gangplank was secured, the other crew’s first mate and a gunner crossed over to the Revenge, introducing themselves curtly before glancing over their deck.

“Is Israel Hands here or are we wasting our time?” the first mate asked.

Immediately, the crew of the Revenge was looking at Izzy.

“Fucking hell,” Izzy muttered to himself. “They send you over as a threat?” he asked, unamused.

The first mate looked him up and down. “Yeah, you match the description,” they nodded. “The crew understands?”

“They’ll behave,” Izzy sighed.

The first mate nodded to the gunner, and the gunner returned to their ship. During the wait, Izzy could still feel the eyes on him, and could feel the unasked questions from the crew.

It must have been only a minute at most but, for Izzy, it felt like hours, before you were crossing over the gangplank. Hopping down onto the deck of the Revenge with practised grace.

“Too cowardly to board first?” Edward asked accusingly.

“Too busy to sit through small talk if Israel wasn’t here. I don’t like wasting my time,” you rolled your eyes, not rising to whatever fight he wanted.

Then, in an instant, all of your attention was focused on Izzy. He was older now, of course, as were you, but you would recognise him anywhere. He was looking at you the same way he used to, devoted and adoring, like you were the only other person standing on the crowded deck.

It was too much for him, seeing you, having you look at him like that.

You always could read Izzy well, you would consider yourself fluent in Israel Hands, and you could tell that he was practically shaking to hold himself back, to keep himself composed. You wouldn’t make him wait any longer, you weren’t cruel.

“Oh, Israel, I’ve missed you,” you strode over to him confidently, quick to wrap your arms around him.

Izzy returned the embrace like it was second nature, letting out a heavy sigh of relief, practically melting against you. You couldn’t help yourself, having to run a hand over his hair before forcing yourself to pull away and release him.

Well, you released him for the most part. Your hands remained against his upper arms. “I’ve been away for too long,” you observed but both of you were already well aware of that.

“Where have you been?” Izzy asked, the only thing he could think to say. You had been assumed…dead, disappearing without a trace. Yet here you stood, very much alive. Older than he last saw you but perfectly recognisable to his eye.

“You know about how the navy got a little too close, had to lay low for a while. Got a new crew together, started operating in different waters, took years for everything to cool down but once I got word, I sailed right over here,” you explained, not aiming to make him wait for such an important answer. “Sought out Jackie, of course, she knows everything. Found the Anne but you weren’t there, got into a boring conversation with the quartermaster. Wasn’t making the same mistake once I tracked down the Revenge.”

Izzy seemed to think your story over, trying to figure out whether you were telling the truth or not. You had never lied to him before but you understand that disappearing for years can damage somebody’s trust in you. If his trust in you had faded, you’d make sure to earn it back.

Izzy thought over the details, he supposed they made sense. There technically hadn’t been any proof of your death, just rumours, and the British had continued their search for you after your supposed death. You always had been clever, able to get out of difficult situations. And you were always careful, wouldn’t have risked the lives of your crew by returning too early to the Caribbean.

Izzy gave a slight nod, assuring you that he believed you. That he was glad you were back.

The sound of shifting beside you reminded you that you weren’t as alone as you would have liked to be.

“Alright. I suppose I should speak with the captains of this vessel,” you addressed it to Izzy, not anybody else. Like nobody else mattered.

“If you must,” Izzy mumbled, filling you with a feeling of fondness.

With a hand against Izzy’s back, you turned to the two captains, Izzy following your movements like it was just a natural thing for him to do.

“Sorry to invite myself over but I’ll be out of your hair soon enough,” you promised the two of them, only one of them familiar to you.

“Izzy makes it sound like you and he were friends and you know Edward…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you stayed for a little while. Got reacquainted,” Bonnet, you assumed he was, offered.

You looked at Izzy questioningly. “He’s being serious,” he told you with a sigh.

“The Gentleman Pirate,” you nodded in understanding and Stede preened under the recognition. You considered it for a moment before nodding, “I can’t stay long, I have business to attend to, but it would be rude to turn down your offer.”

“Wonderful!” Stede clapped his hands together, though Edwarded looked decidedly less happy about it.

“I’ll let the crew know we’ll be anchored for a little longer than planned,” you announced before turning to Izzy. That’s when the crew really noticed it, the way your gaze locked in and softened as soon as it turned on to Izzy. “Israel, do you have a cabin?” you asked.

“Yes. I’m the first mate,” Izzy answered, as if it was obvious, but not with the irritation he would if one of the crew had asked such a stupid question.

“Good,” you nodded before shrugging, smiling at him. “Though you’ll be staying in my cabin, of course.” The way you said it wasn’t demanding, just as though it was a given.

The captains would sleep in their cabin, Jim and Olu would sleep in their room, Lucius would sleep between Pete and Fang, the crew would sleep under the stars, and Izzy would be staying with you in your cabin. That’s just the way things were.

Izzy just nodded, relaxing at the idea of being welcome in your cabin once again.

“First mate needs to stay aboard the ship,” Edward commanded. In all fairness, it was a fair demand to have.

“We’ll stay anchored, don’t you worry. I’ll even leave a couple crew members over here if it makes you feel better. But Israel will be staying with me,” you really didn’t think Edward was asking too much, just for some security that you would kidnap his first mate, but you made sure he knew that you weren’t asking him.

“Izzy,” Edward looked to his first mate then, expecting him to agree with him.

“I’ll be fine, Edward,” Izzy promised him.

Edward opened his mouth to argue but no words came out, he looked stunned. You decided that was enough of a confirmation for you. 

The crew just watched, feeling dumbfounded, as you spoke quietly against Izzy’s ear and guided him over the gangplank and onto your ship. Watched how your hand sat against his lower back, thumb stroking up and down against his leather waistcoat. Watched how easily Izzy let you lead him.

Once you crossed over to your ship, you quickly announced to the crew that you would be sticking around for a little while. Your crew just nodded, accepting the small change in plans, and starting preparing for their stay.

With your crew up to date and content, you led Izzy to your cabin. As soon as he was through the threshold and the door had clicked shut behind him, Izzy felt himself relaxing completely.

“I thought you were dead,” Izzy heard his voice before he even realised he was speaking. It was quiet and water.

“Oh, sweetie,” you were in front of him in an instant, his face cradled in your hands. “I won’t lie, it was a close call for a while, but I’m here and I’m perfectly fine. Better than ever, actually. Went from one ship to three…just one thing missing, the very thing I’ve been tracking down since I returned to the Caribbean.”

“And what’s that?” he asked quietly, desperately. He needed to hear it.

“Oh, please, you just like to hear me say it,” you accused fondly before your expression softened completely, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “You, baby.”

Clearly, that was the right answer, because Izzy all but threw himself into your arms. Clinging to you.

“I’ve got you, sweet thing, and this time I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, carding fingers through his hair.

“You’ll have to leave, you have a fleet…responsibilities…” Izzy mumbled into your shoulder.

You paused for a moment, earning a displeased sound from the man in your arms. “It really has been a long time, I didn’t realise I had to ask,” you whispered, prying him off of you as gently as you could but you needed him to look you in the eyes for this. “I want you to come with me, Iz. Will you come with me? Will you come home?”

Izzy felt like he was floating, glowing. He felt warm. “Nowhere else I’d rather be,” and everything about the way he looked at you told you that he meant it.

You smiled, kissing his temple before guiding him back into your embrace. It was good to have him back in his arms.

“Edward won’t be happy,” Izzy warned you. All he really wanted was to lock himself away with you, to lock the world out, but he couldn’t ignore the reality on the other side of your door.

“Nobody with a lick of common sense would be happy about losing you, baby, but we’ll handle it,” you promised.

“He won’t like that you’re poaching a member of his crew. Especially not his first mate,” Izzy was fretting, he always was so good at that.

You buried your fingers in his hair, gently massaging his scalp. “Let me handle it, sweetheart. Do you trust me to do that?”

“‘Course, I do,” Izzy almost sounded offended. Offended that you thought he wouldn’t trust you.

“I’ve got you. Edward never really did, he knows that,” you soothed him. There had always been an unspoken understanding. He could run around with Izzy trailing after him but he was only ever borrowing the man. No matter what, no matter what he did or what they became, Israel Hands was yours and always would be.

“I’m yours,” Izzy stated firmly.

“I know, Love. Just as I am yours.” Izzy hummed as you pulled back just enough to press a tender kiss to his lips.

You always did that, always insisted on it. You were his just as he was yours, you belonged to each other in any way you wanted too. His loyalty was always reciprocated by you.

When you pulled away from him again, you noticed that a few tears had slipped down his cheeks.

“Oh, love,” you cooed, brushing away the tears.

“Sorry,” Izzy apologised, feeling like he had somehow ruined the mood. A reunion was supposed to be a happy thing and he was happy, and yet here he was crying.

“Don’t apologise, it’s alright,” you tutted softly. “What’s wrong?” 

“Just…missed you,” he confessed.

“I missed you too, more than I ever realised possible.” In all honesty, you were a little surprised you haven't teared up yet. You supposed you had more time to process, having been searching for Izzy for so long, while Izzy only just realised you weren’t dead today.“Come on, let’s get you comfortable and maybe some tea,” you suggested.

“That sounds nice,” Izzy nodded softly.

“I’ll get you some comfortable clothes, I got you a few things,” you offered, unfortunately having to release Izzy completely.

“You didn’t need to do that,” he frowned a little, watching you move through your cabin.

“I just wanted to be prepared if you agreed to come with me,” you shrugged. As if buying Izzy some extra clothes was a big deal, you would do anything for him, this was nothing.

“‘Course I’d come with you,” he responded quickly, as if you might actually be doubting that.

“I know, love. It’s just been a long time, I suppose I had to prepare myself in case things had changed,” you admitted with a small sigh. Mostly, you had felt confident that you and Izzy would fall in together like anything had barely changed, because the two of you were just…right.

“They haven’t.” It wasn’t the complete truth. So much had changed between him and Edward since you first went your separate ways, things had changed in ways that he hadn’t even thought possible. A lot of that change began when they got word of your disappearance, Edward hadn’t liked how Izzy mourned then Ed’s dark moods started getting more frequent.

So much had changed, but not the way Izzy felt about you. That just wasn’t possible.

-

“No wonder Izzy’s been a miserable pain in the arse,” Lucius commented, sounding somewhat sympathetic for the prickly old man. Almost as if he had developed some new understanding, even if he had been a pain in his arse.

“What do you mean?” Pete asked with a little frown. 

In truth, the whole crew had been thrown by the recent events. The pirate captain who boarded their ship with grace and confidence, barely acknowledged Blackbeard and Stede before whisking Izzy Hands away without a single complaint from him.

“He’s been separated from the person he loves!” Lucius declared like it was the most obvious thing in the world, grabbing the attention of the rest of the crew that lingered on the deck.

“Oh…oh yeah, I can see that,” Pete nodded. He hadn’t really considered Izzy having some long lost love that made him the way he was but now that Lucius mentioned it, that did look like a sweet reunion, the restraint obvious on both sides. Then Pete frowned, suddenly feeling a little sad. “I couldn’t be apart from you for years, babe.”

“Aw, neither could I, babe,” Lucius lent into his side, kissing his cheek that plastered a grin on his face.

“Iz isn’t like that, don’t worry,” Edward scoffed, coming up behind the two of them, drawing more attention to their conversation.

Lucius only jumped a little at the sudden appearance before frowning in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“Iz,” Edward shrugged, “he isn’t all sappy or whatever.”

“You’re kidding right?” Lucius just looked at the bearded man, certain that he was joking with him. He wasn’t. “Sure, clearly he shows it in a different way. He’s a devoted little fucker, but he’s very clearly sentimental. I’ve never seen him look so…relaxed and comfortable than when they hugged him.” He couldn’t truly believe that Edward couldn’t see that. Perhaps denial was more rampant in pirates than he first thought.

“They used to sail together, they were his superior for some time. He’s just loyal,” Edward shrugged again, though seemed a little less sure of his words this time.

“But…more loyal to them than he is to you…” Lucius observed, making Edward frown. “If that weren’t true, he wouldn’t have even left the ship, right?” he wasn’t sure why he was pushing the matter so much, maybe it was his own nosiness.

Clearly, Edward didn’t like what he had to say though because he was soon stomping off with Stede hurrying after him. Probably with a lot of questions about what just happened.

-

You couldn’t help but smile against the rim of your teacup. Already, Izzy looked more relaxed than he did when you first stepped aboard the Revenge. He sat on the other side of the couch, his feet propped up in your lap, shoulders drooping with tiredness, and his hair slightly mussed up from your attention as he sipped from his own cup.

A knock on the door had him tensing, though. You tried not to react too much, hoping he could fall back into that safe space the two of you had once created together a long time ago. You just dropped one hand down to his ankle as you called for the guest to let themselves in.

Your first mate stepped into your quarters. The whole time the two of you conversed about Captain Bonnet having apparently invited you and Izzy to dinner in their cabin, you rubbed soft circles against Izzy’s ankle. He managed to relax under your touch, not seeming to mind the extra set of eyes in the room then.

“Dinner?” you hummed, “what do you say?” 

Izzy was pondering over his answer before he even truly processed that you were asking him. Nobody asked his opinion about things these days, Edward used to of course but recently it was just whatever whim either he or Bonnet wanted to pursue.

“Sure, have to face them sometime,” Izzy muttered into his cup before drinking from it again.

You gave his ankle a small squeeze of reassurance before facing your first mate again. “Tell the captains we’ll be there,” you ordered. They nodded and left without another word, you were pretty sure they knew that you didn’t wish to be interrupted unless it was an emergency for a little while. They knew how much time and work and even coin in some cases you had put into tracking down your dear Israel Hands.

Once the door was shut, you gave Izzy a moment to be sure that your first mate was gone, before turning to him with a serious expression.

“Izzy, we don’t have to tell them that you plan to leave or anything yet. We’ll hang around for a few days so everything’s not so sudden, okay?” you assured him. “I thought we’d have at least until the morning before seeing them again, if I’m being honest,” that earnt a small blush from Izzy, “I’ll just follow your lead on the matter.”

“Thank you,” Izzy sighed, deflating against the arm of the couch. In the back of his mind he was vaguely grateful for the fact that you had tutted at him and shoved a cushion behind his back when he sat down.

“Anything for you, my darling,” you smiled, stroking your hand up and down his calf as you finished your tea.

-

You were right on time for your dinner with the captains of the Revenge, you didn’t want to be any ruder than necessary after all. Edward had his back up as soon as you stepped through the door and he noticed Izzy’s new clothes, clothes that he was certain Izzy didn’t own and yet seemed to fit him almost perfectly. 

Of course, you had to make some guesses about Izzy’s sizes when you bought the clothes but you could easily have them tailored to fit him perfectly, you were pretty pleased with yourself for getting it this close anyway. 

Stede had also seemed a little thrown off, blinking at Izzy’s new look. Honestly, it wasn’t a drastic difference. He had just switched his leather pants to black cotton for the sake of comfort and was wearing a deep blue shirt, he always had preferred to wear darker shades, under his waistcoat.

Stede shook it off quickly, politely welcoming you and inviting you both to sit at the table. Izzy sat by your side without any prompting, without even thinking about it really, while Edward and Stede sat opposite you both.

You were at least rather impressed with the meal their cook, Roach, had prepared for the four of you. It just about made up for the tension that lingered at the table.

“So, how do you know Edward and Izzy?” Stede asked, a clear attempt at making polite conversation. You could appreciate the effort.

“Used to sail together, long before Edward or I became captains,” you told him.

“They were on the first ship I joined,” Izzy added, making you smile a little. You hadn’t really expected him to tell any sort of story but you weren’t disappointed about it in the slightest. “They were a few years older than me.”

“Took my little dove under my wing,” you teased, tapping your knee against his under the table and making Izzy blush. You had wondered if he would fluster as easily as he used to, assumed that he wouldn’t, but you were definitely pleased to find it was just as easy as ever. “I became quartermaster shortly after Israel joined us and he was the smallest boy on the crew,” you recalled fondly.

“Fuck off,” Izzy muttered, “just ‘cause you had a growth spurt.”

You gave him another fond smile, one that was reserved purely for him, before looking at Stede again. “We sailed together for a good couple of years before Edward joined the crew.”

“Yeah, then we mutinied Hornigold,” Ed grinned, perking up at his chance to contribute.

“Me and some of the crew had already made plans to head out on our own, we all agreed I would captain,” you nodded, “Izzy and Eddie left with me at first, guess it was just easier that way. Once we raided a decent ship, Edward wanted to leave and captain his own crew, wanted to build a legend.”

“I knew he could do it and I wanted to help him achieve it,” Izzy smiled a little to himself.

“And they did it,” you grinned proudly at Izzy. You were honestly proud of both of them but Izzy had always been so dear to you, Edward knew you only had eyes for him.

“Legends are just that, though,” Izzy sighed, “then the legend gets bored of his own story.”

“Iz-” Edward’s expression dropped.

“No, Edward, it’s fine. Guess I got tired of it too,” Izzy confessed, poking at his food a little, “...around the time we caught word of Y/N’s disappearance.”

You couldn’t help yourself, feeling the overwhelming need to comfort him. You placed your hand on top of his.

“Knew something changed, wasn’t sure what it was,” Edward admitted with a small frown. He knew something had changed, could slap himself for not realising what it was.

“Guess I realised a legend doesn’t really mean anything. At that point it just assured our safety, other crews didn’t fight back, raids were less risky, and that was enough for me,” Izzy continued, letting you take hold of his hand properly, letting it ground and support him, “but it wasn’t enough for you and you got bored.”

Edward nodded his agreement, looking a little guilty about it. “Just became a trudge, y’know?”

Izzy agreed, he did know, he had seen it on Ed’s face day after day. Surviving had been enough for him at the time, still would be if your fleet hadn’t sailed towards them he imagined.

“Sorry, Iz,” Edward sounded genuinely apologetic, a heaviness lingered over their time together and all either of them could really do now was acknowledge it and offer condolences.

“Me too, Ed,” Izzy returned, as equally apologetic and guilty looking.

You were almost smiling, proud of them for being able to see things from each other’s perspective even if it was only just a little bit right now. Then Stede had to go and talk. “Well, I hope we can all agree that things worked out in the end,” he smiled and knew he meant well but…

Edward didn’t respond, just gave him a faint smile, while Izzy scowled and you blatantly ignored his comment.

The rest of dinner continued in mostly silence, Stede occasionally commenting on some side and how it was prepared or asking questions about your travels during the time of your ‘disappearance’. You had actually enjoyed the conversation until he said ‘that sounds marvellous! A real adventure!” Again, you knew he meant well, and he was right in a way, some of the things you did and saw could be described as marvellous, it wasn’t all misery once you pulled everything together, but it left a sour taste in your mouth.

It wasn’t long before it came to dessert, Roach bringing in a tray of different flavoured tarts. Roach received the compliments for his hard work before leaving the captain’s quarters.

Stede and Edward were quick to pick their favoured flavour, familiar with the cook’s pastries. You glanced over them, considering, before picking the one you thought you’d prefer.

Before you ate, though, you noticed Izzy frowning at the selection in that way he does. Not frowning because he was upset or displeased, more out of confusion and thought than anything.

“Here, you’ll like this one,” you picked up a lemon tart and placed it in front of him, “it’s lemon and the texture is more like cream than jam.” If Izzy’s preferences in sweets were anything like they used to be, you were certain he would prefer this tart.

Always trusting your advice, Izzy took a bite of the tart. Your heart fluttered at his little hum of approval. There was so much to learn about Izzy that was new, but it was comforting to be reassured that you still knew him well.

“Good?” you asked, casually.

“Good, thank you,” Izzy nodded, taking another bite of the dessert.

Stede watched the little interaction and felt familiarity pang in his chest, he could easily recall sharing new recipes and luxuries with Edward. He always assumed that Izzy couldn’t stand anything that wasn’t for the purpose of base survival, now he wondered if he just didn’t like him and the Revenge. Yeah, that seemed to make the most sense…

After eating, the captains of the Revenge asked you both to share a drink with them. Izzy had given you a small nod and you had accepted their invitation. Stede poured you each a port and chattered about his recent adventures with Blackbeard and his first mate. The exaggerated storytelling and rambling was enough to have Izzy’s patience wearing thin.

“You should check in with your crew,” Izzy suggested quietly when he saw the chance, a light lull in conversation. You took the hint, he wanted to leave and you wouldn’t deprive him of that. There were other places you would rather be as well.

“Good idea, hun,” you smiled, nothing but adoration in your expression, as you placed your empty glass down. “Always one step ahead,” you placed your hand on Izzy’s shoulder as you stood.

You said your polite goodbyes to the captains before heading for the door, Izzy right by your side, only holding back a few inches when you had to pull the door open.

“Izzy,” Edward’s voice brought you both to a halt, turning back to face him. “You’re not leaving, are you?” he asked. It was obvious that he meant for good, not just for now.

“Ed…” Izzy sighed. He really had hoped this would wait until morning, to give him just a little more time with you before he had to deal with this.

Apparently that was enough of an answer for his captain, former captain? “After all these years?”

You glared a little, not liking that Edward was making Izzy feel bad but you let it go, not wanting to involve yourself unless you thought it truly necessary.

Some like hurt flashed across Izzy’s face, some old ache returning. “I thought they were dead, Edward. I thought that I left, and they died, and I would never see them again,” he told him with some slight panic. You moved closer instinctively at his distress, placing a hand against his back. “I can’t lose them again,” Izzy confessed plainly, voice rough.

Edward was about to speak but you got there first, needing Izzy to understand what you wanted from him. “You won’t lose me if you stay, Izzy. I hope that isn’t why you’re coming with me. You’ll always be mine.”

“I know,” Izzy looked at you with wide eyes, eager to correct you. “I want to come with you.” That was all you needed to hear.

“Izzy-” Edward tried again.

“Ed, if you can give up Blackbeard, I can give up First Mate Hands,” Izzy insisted. He couldn’t be sure that Edward was going to try to convince him to stay but he refused to risk it, couldn’t handle that right now. Today had been…a lot, and that was a wild understatement.

“We’ll stay for another couple of days, but we can’t stay any longer,” you told the captains. “But it’s late, we’ll discuss this further tomorrow if you wish,” the way you spoke assured them that there was no room for argument but that you would keep that promise. If they wanted to speak further on the matter, it would happen tomorrow, not tonight.

Izzy was tense as the two of you left the cabin but pressing into your touch the whole way across the deck and the gangplank. You didn’t speak until you were aboard your ship again.

“How are you feeling, love?”

Izzy actually took the time to consider it, to assess himself and try to put words to how he was feeling. He never was particularly good at that but you had always insisted on him trying his best. “Good…good, actually,” his answer was a little quiet, a little breathy, like he was surprised by his own answer.

“It’s okay if you’ll miss him, he’s been your best mate for years,” you told him.

“Just don’t want to hurt him,” Izzy confessed sincerely.

“He’s a grown man, he’ll manage. And you’ll see him again,” you wanted him to know that if he wanted to see Edward again, then of course he would be able to and you would make sure it happened.

“I’m not having second thoughts, I want you to know that,” Izzy’s glossy eyes focused on you again, his words firm, like you could ever doubt him.

“I know that, just making sure you’re alright, hun,” you promised, rubbing small circles against his back. “Now, should we go to bed?”

“Please,” Izzy let out a heavy breath like some weight had been lifted from him and he could finally breathe properly.

Without hesitation, you led Izzy back to your quarters where he could properly unwind and the two of you could get properly reacquainted without any further interruptions.

-

The next day you had made yourself comfortable over on the Revenge, not wanting to be too far away from Izzy as he continued on with his first mate duties. You couldn’t help but watch over the strange crew with amusement, they were certainly endearing but not the best sailors. You bet the whole thing was driving Izzy insane.

“Still have your midday coffee?” Izzy asked, bringing you out of your musings.

You turned to him with a smile, accepting the warm mug from him. “I do, I always get drowsy this time of day. Don’t have to sneak them anymore now, though,” you sipped the coffee, sighing, pleased, as you lowered the cup. “It’s around lunch, did you get yourself something?” you asked.

“Nah,” Izzy shrugged.

“Go and get something, even if it’s just an orange. If you don’t fancy anything down in the galley, my cook will whip something up for you. They love a challenge,” you insisted, your demand soft and made out of nothing but care.

“An orange is fine,” Izzy rolled his eyes, “I’ll get you one too.”

Before you could huff and insist that he doesn’t need to fetch you things, he was already gone. You shook your head in slight exasperation but smiled fondly as you sipped at your coffee, made just the way you like it. It seems that he had remembered some things as well.

“He makes quite the little errand boy, huh?” a younger man came up to your side.

You instantly went tense, expression darkening as you turned to him and lowered your mug. “You’re Spriggs, the scribe?” you squinted at him.

“Izzy talked about me?” Lucius asked, preening somewhat.

“He’s mentioned you,” you nodded, letting him bask in the satisfaction before stepping up to him. “One more word about him and I’ll slice your dick like an onion.”

In an instant, Lucius froze and stared at you with wide eyes. “Why an onion?” he was already cursing himself for asking a stupid question instead of fleeing. He didn’t know you well but he had a feeling that you would follow through on the threat.

“Would you rather I cut it into neat little segments like an orange?” you cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Uh…no?” Lucius answered carefully, unsure if you even wanted an answer.

“Go,” you rolled your eyes as he scampered off.

Izzy returned shortly after with two peeled oranges. “Why did the scribe look like he was about to hurl?” he asked, only a little accusingly.

“Dunno,” you shrugged innocently, accepting one of the oranges.

Izzy hummed, standing by your side, close enough that your arms brushed against each other’s. “You threaten him?” 

“Maybe…”

“...dick onion again?”

“It’s effective,” you smirked to yourself, “nobody says a bad word about you if I have anything to do about it.”

Izzy huffed but you caught the way his cheek turned a light pink. “Don’t need protecting.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re a fucking vision with a blade. But I like taking care of you…and maybe I like threatening people just a little, but mostly taking care of you,” you teased, leaning your shoulder against his. “I’m always going to have your back, Izzy, my love,” you kissed his cheek.

Izzy sighed but was unable to suppress a little smile. He’ll forgive himself, he didn’t think anyone saw it.

-

It was just like Izzy to insist on doing his job until he had officially left The Revenge and joined your crew. You didn’t mind though, patiently waiting for him to finish his nightly rounds.

The rest of the crew was sitting around with some drink and telling stories, they had pestered you to join them and you didn’t see the harm in it. You accepted the bottle of rum they handed you but mostly just held it in your lap as you listened to their tales.

Izzy finished up his rounds, as satisfied with the condition of the ship as he could be. He glanced around the deck to see where you were waiting for him and saw you sitting with the crew. Suddenly, he felt unsure if he should interrupt but there was a little voice in the back of his mind that reminded him that it was you, and there was no such thing as interrupting when it came to the two of you.

“Finished my rounds,” Izzy announced as he came up to the group, getting your attention.

Immediately, you turned your attention to him with a smile. Unfortunately, you didn’t have the time to respond before the others were speaking.

“Join us, Izzy,” Lucius encouraged. You looked him up and down but saw that he was being sincere, so you didn’t comment on it.

“Yeah, they just told us all about the Hornigold mutiny. Totally badass,” Pete grinned, hooked on the stories you had to tell.

Izzy frowned at the group, all looking at him with varying levels of eagerness but all seeming pretty welcoming, before looking to you. “Are they mocking?” he asked with a small snarl.

“No, darling. They just enjoyed the story,” you assured him, smiling even when your heart ached. “Do you want to sit or do you want to go back to our cabin?”

Truthfully, Izzy didn’t want to spend time with the rest of the crew but he didn’t want to ruin your fun either…

So, he just sat beside you in response.

You smiled and shifted closer to him, placing a hand on his knee. “This guy is fascinating,” you told him, gesturing to the Swede, who preened and blushed under your comment.

“Really?” Izzy asked, unamused.

“The stories he has are insane. Don’t know how many of them I believe but entertaining nonetheless,” you insisted, “born under blood rain, now that’s a great start to a story.”

Izzy rolled his eyes but he had to admit that was a tale he and Ed might have tried to sell under the legend of Blackbeard.

“Drink?” you offered your bottle to him.

“No, thanks.” 

You nodded, placing the rum bottle beside your feet.

The crew quickly fell back into their dramatic stories, trying to one up each other in entertainment.

Once you were certain that the crew was distracted enough, you lent into Izzy and spoke low against his ear so only he could hear you.

“We don��t have to stay if you don’t want to,” you could sense he wasn’t exactly comfortable, you didn’t have to know him that well to realise that, and you didn’t want him to force himself to do anything.

“It’s fine,” Izzy mumbled back.

That just confirmed to you that you were right.

“Come on, let’s turn in for the night,” you patted his knee, shifting to stand.

“No,” he clasped your hand tightly, stopping you from standing, looking a little worried when you met his gaze.

“What’s wrong?” you squeezed his hand comfortingly, making sure to stay quiet and now draw anyone’s attention.

“Nothing, it’s fine. We can stay.” Izzy couldn’t quite hold your gaze and you made up your mind.

“Well, it was good sitting with you guys but I really should go check on my crew,” you declared as you stood from your seat, gently tugging Izzy to his feet again. Despite his halfhearted protests a second ago, he followed without argument.

The crew wished you a goodnight and didn’t try to stop you when you left, returning to your ship with Izzy in tow.

You greeted your own crew and bid them all a goodnight before disappearing into your quarters.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Izzy complained as soon as the cabin door was shut. “You could have stayed if you wanted too.”

You nearly rolled your eyes. Of course you could have stayed if you wanted too, just as he could have stayed without you if he wanted, or asked to return to the ship if he wanted. You didn’t roll your eyes though, understanding that this was stemming from something deeper.

“All I want is to be with you, my dove,” you promised him, taking his hands in yours. “I’ve spent enough time drinking and telling tales and I haven’t spent nearly enough time in your company.”

“You sure?” How could the infamous Izzy Hands, best sword in the Caribbean, look so vulnerable and unsure? His eyes just gave everything away.

“I’m completely certain,” you answered firmly but with an underlying tenderness.“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want or aren’t comfortable with,” you quickly kissed the tip of his nose.

Izzy flushed and grumbled a little but you still saw the way he smiled to himself. “Are we still leaving tomorrow?” he asked.

“We are. If you’re still okay with that,” you nodded.

“I am.”

You smiled softly, placing a hand on the back of Izzy’s neck and touching his forehead to yours. “Good. I was thinking we could have breakfast with Ed and Stede in the morning, say goodbye properly before heading out. It’s your choice,” you suggested.

Izzy hummed in thought before nodding slightly, leaning into you some more. “...we can have breakfast.”

-

You had decided to host breakfast in your quarters, figuring it would be the polite thing to do, where Izzy’s belongings had already been put away neatly, like they had been there all along. You couldn’t wait for the cabin to properly look like it was lived in by Izzy.

After breakfast, which went surprisingly well, you and Izzy walked Edward and Stede to the gangplank. “It really was good seeing you again, Edward,” and you really did mean it, you had been friends once upon a time. “No hard feelings, right?”

Edward looked at Izzy and saw the way the tension in his shoulders was less than he could ever remember seeing. “Yeah, no hard feelings,” he nodded, a little hesitantly.

You smiled, glad. You really hadn’t come to cause trouble, just to get your Israel back.

“And it was fascinating to meet you, Captain Bonnet,” you hadn’t fully decided if that was a compliment or not. Izzy did seem fond of him and that had clouded your judgement, you could admit that. 

“Likewise,” Stede grinned, “feel free to visit anytime.”

“See you around, Iz,” Edward nodded to his former first mate and long term friend, a weight to his words.

“See ya, Edward,” Izzy nodded back, just as heavy.

Edward and Stede returned to the Revenge and your crew took down the gangplank.

“Ready, love?” you asked, touching your hand to Izzy’s elbow.

“Ready,” Izzy nodded, sounding sure of himself.

You shouted for the crew to raise anchor and set on the course you had previously given them. The crew called back their acknowledgements and got to work.

You smiled at your bustling crew before leaning against Izzy, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Welcome home, my dove.”

“Don’t think that petname really fits me anymore,” Izzy grunted, making you chuckle.

“Nonsense. You’ll always be my dove,” you tutted. Izzy sighed softly as you ran your fingers through his hair, honestly enjoying watching a competent crew working again. “We’re heading to port, going to give the crew some extra coin and shoreleave for a job well done. Think they can manage sailing straight for a few days,” you hummed.

Izzy looked around the deck, seeing your crew bustling and busy, talking between themselves as they worked diligently. “Look like they have it handled,” he agreed.

Your hand settled against his lower back as the two of you returned to your quarters. Once inside, you shrugged off your coat and folded it neatly over the back of a chair. The cabin had already been cleaned up from your breakfast meeting.

“Can I ask a question?”

You frowned a little as you turned to Izzy, hoping he was only asking such a question as a formality. “Of course,” you nodded.

“What is my position among the crew?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You already have a first mate and I don’t like the title of ‘bed warmer’.”

You were taken aback by his words, as if you would ever refer to him as such or allow anyone else to do so. “Izzy, you don’t think…that’s not how the crew sees you, I promise. You’re a respected pirate, a respected member of the crew. When I told the crew just who we were looking for, they were excited to have Israel Hands on the crew.”

“I would just like to know my position,” he sighed, still as stubborn as ever.

“I suppose I didn’t really think about it, was too focused on just getting you back,” you admitted. “I would offer you the position of first mate but…well, mine is very loyal and put a lot of work into helping me track you down. It would be wrong to demote them. But you’re far too qualified for a lower rank,” you thought out loud before your face lit up, an idea coming to you. “How do you fancy being co-captains?”

“Co-captain?” Izzy gaped at you. “You’re joking?”

“If Blackbeard can do it, so can I,” you shrugged.

“Co-captains, a fucking stupid thing,” Izzy muttered. He really wasn’t ready to be taking ideas or suggestions from Stede fucking Bonnet. “Could just be…could just be your partner…”

“Partner, captain. Whatever you want. Either way, you’ll be respected and listened to aboard this vessel. You have my word,” you vowed.

“I believe you.” He always did, you never gave him a reason not to.

You met him where he stood, snaking your arms around him. “I can’t believe I have you back.”

“I can’t believe you’re back,” he breathed, settling his hands on you, just needing to touch and feel. Still needing to remind himself that you were alive, you were here, and you were real.

“Never going anywhere without you again,” you promised. “Will have to fucking kill me,” your dedication sent a shive down Izzy’s spine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” It felt like a prayer falling from Izzy’s lips. How long had he longed to hear you say those words again, to be able to speak those words again?

“Thank you for keeping this,” you whispered against his lips, toying with the ring on his necktie.

“As if I’d ever stop wearing it,” Izzy had never even considered it, had only taken it off of his finger before it began to feel heavy on his hand. It was too easy for him to see, to remind him. So he moved it to his neck, wanting everyone to know that somebody had gifted him such a ring once, cherishing it, while clad in black in mourning.

Izzy didn’t need to mourn any longer because you were here, holding him and kissing him. He would have to put his ring back on his finger.

[izzysillyhandsy]

Re: The Deathbed Conversation

Assuming for a moment that Izzy was completely honest and meant what he said (and it wasn't more like a last service to Ed, telling him what he needed to move on) - and assuming Izzy was 100% objectively correct and not shouldering all the blame out of misguided guilt, and what he told Ed happened, exactly as he told him.

Then what exactly did happen in those 20-30 years of Ed&Izzy?

Blackbeard… it was us. You, me.

Ok, but when did it start? Did Izzy and Ed meet as young men, did they create Blackbeard together (as in coming up with the name, the aesthetic, flag design, the silly little spikes on the ship, etc)? Did both of them agree that this scary, inhuman monster could be their safe space, their ticket to survival?

Or did Izzy join in later, when Blackbeard was already established ("When you made me first mate...")? Did Izzy kill the former first mate?

How much of Blackbeard is Izzy? How much came from Ed? Was Ed in any way forced into this? Was Izzy in any way forced into this?

I fed your darkness… Blackbeard.

Great, but how? What kind of power did Izzy have over Ed? In the show, very little it seems - at least as long as Ed is certain that Izzy'll always be there (he seems very afraid of Izzy leaving, at least when he's not distracted by Stede).

The only time Izzy seems to have any influence on Ed in S1 is in Ep8, when he is (kinda) feeding his darkness with Ed being at his most vulnerable. I really don't believe for a second that Ed was actually threatened by Izzy - as in "Izzy physically harming or killing him". At most, it was a threat of abandonment or withdrawal of affection/love.

Is that what it was? Was Ed so alone, did he feel so unloveable that Izzy was the only constant/love in his life? And did Izzy threaten to leave/withdraw that love if Ed didn't "perform", at least in public?

But then we have the retirement plan - and Izzy going along with it so easily... and the way they interact which seems so familiar and playful. I just don't feel "forced companionship". I feel long, complicated marriage. And Izzy's undying loyality.

Was Ed really so insecure and unstable that a few well-chosen insults could tip him into darkness - over and over and over? For decades? From Izzy??? With the way Izzy looks at Ed, does everything he asks, obviously adores him?

What did Izzy say to him, every time, for all these years???

For years, I egged him on, even though I knew you'd outgrown him, but the truth is… I needed him.

Ok, Izzy knew that Ed had outgrown Blackbeard. But that implies that for some time (probably years and years) Ed hadn't outgrown him yet. At the beginning, and for some time, Blackbeard seems to have been at least somewhat useful for Ed and Izzy (both of them are respected, relatively wealthy and alive).

But what does "outgrown" mean?

Wasn't it just Ed getting bored (and depressed) after years of the same old stuff? Or was it traumatic for him to be forced into this violent persona over and over again, and he was finally ready to be just Ed and feel secure in that?

But do we really think Ed went into a different mental state every time Izzy "egged him on"? That his whole personality changed every time they raided a ship (and Blackbeard didn't even kill anyone)? Is this supposed to be a Jekyll/Hyde situation?

Ed himself says that his biggest problem is that all the fun and adventure have gone - he doesn't even have to be on the boat.

How does that fit in with "feeding the darkness" and "egging him on"?

I understand Izzy needing Blackbeard (as in their shared fuckery, not "Blackbeard" as a separate person to Ed - "you and me" is unambiguous) and everyone else staying a step back. I also understand that Izzy wanted to keep Ed to himself in a way. In the end, Izzy (rightly) realized that that wasn't fair to Ed.

But are we meant to assume that Izzy wouldn't want the "real Ed"? Or that Izzy is insecure himself - as long as there's Blackbeard, Ed needs him. Without Blackbeard, does Izzy think that Ed will inevitably see how boring and useless Izzy is and leave him?

What's going on with these two? (a co-dependant relationship where both are bringing out the worst in the other at times. But that's not what Izzy said)

Well, going with Izzy's words as truth, it seems to me that:

for many years, Blackbeard did both of them more good then bad

some years ago though, Ed wanted more/got bored/wanted a softer life/wanted to be "just Ed"

Izzy held onto Blackbeard because he enjoyed being the only one who really knew Ed, and he didn't want to share him (and potentially lose him - which actually happened so he wasn't wrong)

Izzy held onto Blackbeard by feeding Ed's darkness and preventing him from being "a regular dude"

I have no idea how exactly Izzy fed Ed's darkness - by making him feel unloveable and worthless? By sharing in/encouraging violence and making it exciting and an escape from depression?

the only darkness-feeding moment we see in the show that worked (and "better" than expected) was after Stede left, and we can safely assume that normally it didn't escalate like that

I think the threat was Izzy leaving Ed (by withdrawing all affection) and insinuating that if even Izzy doesn't want Ed, noone else will

in that situation that was like pouring oil on fire

before that though, it might have worked in a "us against the world" way

something like "you'll never make it alone in this cruel world, stick to what you know"

like Pop-Pop said - Ed's good at being Blackbeard/violent (and at nothing else)

Does that make sense? I don't know. I tried to make it make sense by writing this but... the big question in all this is still how did Izzy do this for decades (this guy must be really good at darkness-feeding).

Ed as Blackbeard was like a rockstar - was it all just a show, Ed an empty, manipulated shell and Izzy the brains behind the operation?

Or maybe Izzy did lie to Ed to make him feel better, after all.

[stargirl-and-potts]

S2:1 and 2 make the most sense to me if Ed is terrified of mutiny.

He came back in s1 to find the crew just hoisting Izzy over the rail. He knows they turned on Izzy. He expects them to want to kill Izzy in s2 ep1, after he shoots him. When he realizes they haven't, that's when his downward spiral really begins. Because now he expects them to turn on him instead.

Because Izzy had been saying for years that Ed couldn’t handle a crew. He said he was the one who managed them whenever they wanted to mutiny; he was the one who wrangled their loyalty. He said Ed never won it. He might have even believed it. (Never mind that we don’t see Izzy wrangle them, we see Izzy tell Fang and Ivan that Ed's nuts. Ed doesn't know that.) Izzy insists they don't love Ed. And after Ed says he’ll give up piracy Izzy says that he doesn't want Ed either; that he only serves Blackbeard.

And after Ed heard Izzy, who's always told Ed he can't trust himself, he's too erratic, too distractible, he'd lose a crew the minute he lost Izzy -- after Ed heard Izzy tell him to watch his step, he is desperate to keep Izzy controlled, so Izzy can keep the crew controlled. He listened to them chant his name in 1:9 and looked afraid. The last time Ed had sent Izzy off, he'd returned with the Navy; he can't send him off for threatening him; he has to keep Izzy close. And he can't tell the crew Izzy threatened him; he has to keep him standing between Ed and the crew.

(And Ed has spent his whole life keeping hard, dangerous men off his back. It feels terribly familiar. It feels like this is just how life is.)

So in s2:2, when Izzy tells him the crew isn't happy, that he isn’t happy either, and it's because Ed loves Stede, Ed despairs. Ed thinks, I can't stop loving him. If that's what it would take, I'm never going to be good enough for Izzy. He isn’t keeping the crew happy. I can’t keep him happy. And I can't fire him. Why am I keeping him around? It can’t be worse than it is. They wanted to kill him; I should let them.

But then they won't do it. He asks Frenchie to, and says in near tears that they can just sail on together forever, fighting and looting, and Frenchie doesn't argue. He doesn't say that isn't what they want from Ed. He agrees; and then Frenchie and the rest save Izzy.

What that really means is that Frenchie is too scared of Ed to ask him what went wrong, why he came back without Stede and cast off half the crew and went wild. He doesn’t know Ed doesn’t want to be doing this. And he doesn’t choose Izzy over Ed; he isn’t trying to betray Ed. He’s just too loyal to his crewmates to kill one, even a dick.

But what Ed sees is: they all chose Izzy over me. I have no one’s loyalty. And nothing I do to keep them happy will ever be enough, and now I don't even have him covering my ass.

That's when Ed goes from depressed and drugged but functioning to fully begging someone to kill him; and on a rewatch, I really believe he's been afraid of it all along, waiting for the moment he forgets to watch his step and Izzy makes good his word, or the moment Izzy can't hold the crew off any more and they go after him again.

Ed thinks that's just how life at sea is, and that's how things are for people like him. He thought differently, once, but the only man who ever said he deserved better left him on a dock, so why wait for the others to give him the death they want to? Why not invite them to?

He asks Izzy to kill him, stop putting it off, but Izzy can't follow through on his threat. So Ed pushes the rest to do it. He’s sure they want to (the atmosphere on this ship is fucked!), that without Izzy between him and them he's done for and it might as well be now.

He has no idea they'd have been there for him if he'd asked. He no longer believes they really wanted the soft version of him who'd showed up on deck once upon a time. He thinks that version and every version of him was doomed, because there's something fundamentally wrong with him. He's soft, and people like him don't get to be.

So yeah -- I think if Izzy hadn't made him frightened of mutiny for years, then Ed would not have tried to get the crew to kill him; he wouldn't have been waiting for it. He wasn’t just suicidal because Stede was gone. He had been trained to be afraid, and he was so tired of it. He had been exhausted trying to be captain for so long; he would have willingly surrendered it, the way he tried to -- "Why are we even being pirates?" And he would have seen that he was loved.

But instead he was scared and tired to the bone. So he gives up. And it's not till Stede shows up to protect him that he feels he is safe enough to be soft again, to try and make amends and to do what he wants; and it's not till Izzy tells him at the end that he was holding Ed back and that the others have always loved him that Ed realizes he's never been alone, not on that ship. He didn’t have to be the legend Izzy demanded, or even the softer pirate Stede is. He can decide to be a fisherman, or an innkeeper, or just Ed, and he will be loved. There's always been people there who would want him, whoever he wanted to be, if he could have seen it.

Now he can see it.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

For the fic writing ask prompt- Favorite ship you don't write that much, but want to write more of: #'s 3, 31, 32, 40, 45

(Five Sentence Prompts)

ooh okay, I'm gonna go with bellhands for these! And because I apparently love to make things hard for myself, I decided to make them all into one story.

#40: //eye contact across a crowded room//

Izzy had to do a double-take at first, convinced he was seeing a ghost--Sam had died years ago after all, and even if he hadn't Jackie'z had never been his sort of establishment. Nevertheless, there he was in flesh and blood, making small talk with Jackie at the bar. Izzy stood there transfixed until Sam turned and locked eyes with him. The sea of people standing between them parted as Sam made his way across the crowded room, never once looking away from Izzy. Without thinking too much about it, Izzy threw himself forward and into Sam's arms.

#32: “do you ever regret it?”

Later, after they had caught up and Sam explained his miraculous reappearance, he asked the question--"do you ever regret it?".

There was no need to specify what he meant by 'it'; they both knew he was asking about Edward. The day Izzy had chosen Ed over Sam had been the last time they saw each other--the last time Izzy had thought he would ever see Sam, after news of his supposed death spread.

"Every fucking day," Izzy replied, taking a big swig of his drink. "If I had just left with you..."

#3: “Stop being a fucking prick.” 

"The fuck are you smiling at?" Izzy asked, cut off from his melancholic pondering of what could have been by the look on Sam's face.

Sam, smiling broadly, put an arm around Izzy and said, "You missed me!"

"Shut up," Izzy said, leaning away and trying his best to hide his blush.

"I knew you were a--how did Rackham put it?"--Sam paused to ask, before remembering--"a sentimental bastard."

"Stop being a fucking prick," Izzy said, blushing even harder.

#31: "what makes you think i need a partner to be happy?”

Later still, Sam had made a passing mention of Izzy leaving with him, which, after some questioning, revealed a host of other assumptions he'd made.

"What makes you think I need a partner to be happy?" Izzy asked. "I was with Edward for decades and I sure as fuck wasn't happy for most of it."

"But..." Sam began, at a loss for words, "this is me."

"Maybe someday," Izzy said softly, "but I have things I need to see to first."

#45: //defending them, even when they’re not there to witness it//

"Why were you even here with Jackie in the first place?" Izzy asked, as they were both preparing to leave.

"You sure you're thinking of the right guy?" Jackie had asked, somewhat incredulously, after Sam had told her that he was trying to find Izzy, his long lost lover.

"I'll have you know that he's an incredibly loyal, devoted, handsome man," Sam had said in Izzy's defense.

Jackie had simply shrugged, which was good enough for Sam.

"For you," Sam said, and left it at that.

[amuseoffyre]

Don’t Tell Mama - #452

After a long and lovely soak in the hot tub, where Ed had filled him in on everything that had happened with his auntie, they had both agreed that a quiet evening on the balcony was definitely in order. The only thing left to do was go out and get some food.

Stede had left Ed playing some kind of join-the-gems game on his phone and headed out into town to find something portable to eat.

When he came back, nearly an hour later, he was surprised to hear Ed’s voice talking to someone when he opened the door.

“Yeah, no, we need to add at least one more.”

“I’ll run through your list.” That sounded suspiciously like Izzy Hands. “See if anyone’s still free.”

Stede stooped to unlace his shoes, stepping out of them, and trotted across the room to peer out onto the balcony. Ed was sitting at the table, a scatter of scrap paper around him, scribbling down notes, his phone lying on the tabletop beside him.

“Evening, love,” he said. “What are we doing?”

“Working,” Izzy replied succinctly from speakerphone.

Ed looked up with an apologetic grin. “We were catching up and I realised I forgot to sort out a line-up officially for our big re-opening.”

“Oh! Shit!” Stede pulled up the other chair. “We did! Is it too late? Are we fucked?”

Izzy snorted. “We’ve got a solid crew. Even without impressive guests we can pull together a fucking epic opener.”

We, Stede thought happily. “Well, that’s good. We left matters in very capable hands, didn’t we, Ed? Wonderful work, Israel.”

Ed shot him a crooked grin when Izzy sputtered and swore. “I’ll let you go, man,” he said. “We’ve got dinner.”

“I’ll let you know how I get on,” Izzy said and hung up without so much as a farewell.

“He really doesn’t grasp the concept of manners, does he?” Stede said, lifting the bags of takeaway up onto the table.

“He can when he wants to,” Ed replied, gathering up the pile of scrappy notes into a heap to make space for the boxes. He gratefully grabbed one of the boxes, peeling off the lid and making a delighted noise at the pile of steaming pasta.

“And you caught him up on today?” Stede guessed, opening his own chicken and rice box. “It’s awful early for him to be up.”

“Mm.” Scooping up forkfuls of pasta, Ed nodded, mouth full. “Told me I could phone him.”

They both munched in silence for a bit and Stede kept a thoughtful eye on him. Izzy was a rough and abrasive kind of person, but there was no doubt that he cared for Ed in his own particular way. For example, inviting Ed to call him at 5am in the morning when they all knew Izzy was grumpy as standard but before 10am, he could be downright murderous. And that Ed could lean on him in ways Stede didn’t quite understand.

“Did Izzy know your mum well?” he asked after a while. “If she was at the opening of the Queen Anne?”

That made Ed slow down his impression of a vacuum with his spaghetti. “Yeah.” He prodded the fork around in the box, collecting up some more of the pasta and sauce. “We had a flat together for a bit, when she wasn’t well. All of us. Somewhere a bit bigger. Couldn’t afford it on my own, but with Iz…” He stirred the fork in a circle and glanced up at Stede. “He didn’t know everything that happened, but he knew enough. Knew I’d be all fucked up over it.”

Stede considered this from every angle, all the little pieces of the Izzy Hands puzzle, and especially why he and Ed were so steadfastly loyal to each other.

“So, what you’re telling me is that he is in fact a big soft grumpy Gus.”

Ed, who had made the mistake of putting some food in his mouth, very nearly sprayed it all over the table, choking on a laugh. “I wanna tell him you said that,” he said between coughs, thumping his chest. “Get it on a t-shirt.”

“Well, I’m right,” Stede pointed out. “He might stamp and huff all the time, but he does the best he can for the people he cares about.”

“Yeah,” Ed said with a small but warm smile. He looked tired, still so tired, but much calmer than he had. Perhaps talking to Izzy, talking to someone who knew some of the details but from a safe distance, had helped too. “You’re stuck with him too now.”

Stede started to demur, but then Izzy had been the one to have Lucius check on him. He had been his usual prickly self about it, but he had made the contact happen.

He smiled down at his dinner. “Well,” he said, “it’s been quite a week for ever expanding families, hasn’t it?”

Ed offered his free hand. “Yeah.”

He took Ed’s hand at once. “And we’re going to be okay?” He didn’t know why it was a question, but it really was a lot of epiphanies and revelations to be having in a very short space of time.

“We’re going to be fucking incredible,” Ed promised, squeezing his fingers.

Previous / Next

[raggedy-dxctor]

If you have time for it can you consider doing an Izzy Hands x reader fic? Anything from platonic angst to pinning this skruckly man like one of those bugs in glass cases- what ever you think is best/comfortable with (love ur writing btw, it’s rlly good)

abso fucking lutely i can, i didn't think anyone would ever ask

mutual pining with izzy hands

pairing(s): izzy hands x gn!reader, brief mentions of oluwande x jim, lucius x black pete and edward x stede

warnings: mutual pining that results in a relationship, slight angst, slight deviation from plot (relationship between ed and stede is somewhat established on ship, stede never leaves), probably ooc izzy <3

izzy is the type to repress the feeling that he has for you out of sheer embarrassment and shame.

he feels like you could do so much better than him, especially since you've seen him do some horrible things, seeing as you've been apart of blackbeard's crew for so long too, so he'll just stare longingly at you across the room and imagine you next to him, your hand wrapped in his as he leans his head against yours

sometimes he sees you joking around with stede and just wants to run over and sweep you off your feet, he knows stede is committed and loyal to his boss, but he still can't help the twinge of jealousy

i feel like lucius picked up on the mutual feelings really fast? but only told nlack pete, who often point out the signs of your mutual feelings to eachother.

"look, babe, their pinkie fingers are interlocked!" "lucius, is it me or have they been staring into eachother's eyes for waaaay too long?" "izzy has been a little less agressive lately, don't ya think?"

ed definitely noticed a small change in izzy, but couldn't pinpoint why, so he fills stede in and stede is equally as clueless

i feel like one night izzy's desperation to be in your arms just gets so overwhelming that he just sits on his bed, with his head in his hands, when he would usually be bossing the crew around. lucius goes to check on him because it feels weird without him bossing them around and he just. finds izzy as a shell of the man he usually is

"izzy-?" "get the fuck out!" "izzy were you- crying?" "sigh no i was just pitying myself" and then they have an entire therapy session that izzy is reluctant to even talk in. eventually he opens up about liking someone and lucius goes "ok so you like them, y/n i mean, are you gonna do anything about it?!" izzy just freezes, his jaw hitting the floor

from that moment on, izzy finds himself feeling a lot less comfortable with showing his feelings for you. he'd do stuff like smile fondly at you for absolutely no reason, accept your hugs (and even prolong them), gently reach for your hand under the table, he even finds himself getting sleepy when it's just the two of you in a room together, he usually never feels that comfortable around anyone

as soon as he notices the feelings reciprocated, he takes the opportunity once you're alone together to gently pull you closer towards him and kiss you, honestly after it he's left stunned by his own confidence, but as soon as you reciprocate the kiss he just melts and grins

i feel like his love language is either physical touch, acts of service or words of affirmation, so once you confess your adoration for eachother he's the sweetest man you've ever met. every chance he gets he'll say "i love you" or praise you for something you've done on the ship today, even if it's just cheered Edward up or got rid of some pesky birds, this man is s whipped that he'll shower you with praise. "thank you so much darling, you did amazing today"

one time, you had a really good idea to cheer ed up so he just lit up and ran over to you, kissed you and then dashed towards ed's room, only realising his mistake once he got to the door of ed's room. to make it worse he was grinning like an idiot and shouted "oh my god! you're fucking brilliant!" atter he kissed you and ran off.

for the rest of the week, everyone just stared at him like a vulture, dumbfounded expressions on their faces as they struggled to comprehend how they hadn't noticed anything before, surely you'd been a thing for ages for izzy to even think about doing that? lucius just stood there, leaning against the rail with a sly smirk on his face. "you knew lucius?!" olu and jim just kinda gawk as lucius innocently shrugs

after a while the shock blew over and everyone just accepted that you and izzy were a thing, despite neither of you directly telling them that the two of you were dating. the only exception to that was ed.

"so, izzy, ive heard a rumour that you and y-" izzy just groans and throws his head back, already knowing what's about to come. "yeah- we are" he sighs, his eyes flashing back up to his boss for a sign of approval, only to see ed with a proud smile on his face, he claps izzy on the shoulder and congratulates him "im proud of you iz, you deserve eachother more than anything on this planet deserves air, i've always thought the two of you would be perfect together, i'm so glad you've finally found the one that'll stop you from being such an ass" he grins after finishing and chuckles, clearly showing that he's joking, and then he goes on a ramble about how he tried to set the two of you up once, but neither of you noticed. izzy finds himself tearing up slightly at the words and even gives ed a small smile. he rushes off to tell you all about it, only to find ed had done the exact same thing to you a day before, but ed had poured more feeling and pride into his words to izzy.

after that izzy vows not to give a single shit what anyone else thinks and proudly wraps an arm around you infront of the crew, after a while they just get used to it snd just completely normalize the new lovey dovey izzy

he's even more accepting and positive of ed and stede's relationship after it, it's as if the pure, unbridled love and adoration for you has defeated the anger and hatred that previously defined him

[treesofgreen]

You know I wonder if there's an era between leaving Hornigold and making Izzy first mate where Ed kept the more traditional pirate hierarchy? And then the myth of Blackbeard got strong enough that pirates would endure something closer to the navy way where the captain is king just to say they were on his crew, or reap the rewards, so he switched to that. Would be in line for a guy that Hates Losing and Hates Being Disrespected to also think his crew not being blindly loyal is a big flaw in them. It could also be that Hornigold ran his ship like Ed and he's just got a fucked up line of pirate captains coming out of his ship but I think it's more fun if this only works for Ed because of his success rate

There is! So much blank space between childhood trauma land and tired of winning as Blackbeard! All of it fun to fill with headcanons!

I'm obsessed with this ask, anon, I've been savouring it for days. I love the idea of Blackbeard having been something created after Edward had already become a captain, that it went from a nickname used by people like Jack to a carefully cultivated legend that took on a life of its own.

I love the idea that the consolidated power structure/first mate thing is Ed's and Ed's alone, another example of his genius, for better or for worse. It serves to keep him in power and safer and more respected and feared than he'd be otherwise, but it's also so tragic and isolating; the myth slowly consuming him (and Izzy as well, I fully believe, neither one of them are happy with "the uzsh").

I would also find it devastating if the unusual hierarchy originated with Hornigold (or his mentor). Especially if Ed did things differently when he was first on his own before walking in Hornigold's footsteps, so intent on not hurting people in the same ways Hornigold did he doesn't notice he's hurting people in entirely new ways (again, this goes for Izzy too).

"when you made me first mate you told me loyalty to your captain above all else" - did Hornigold demand the same thing? Of Ed, of Jack, of Izzy? From everyone who sailed under him? Was Ed the only one strong enough to resist that conditioning and convince others to help him overthrow the monster, only to sometimes wonder if he's become the monster in this way too? I'm dying to know.

[omoghouls]

i’m not too familiar with the pirate show so i may get some characterisation wrong but i just think that sometimes (only sometimes) izzy’s a little too eager to obey ed’s orders. so imagine ed, stede and izzy are in the captain’s quarters and ed asks izzy to wait outside so he can talk to stede about something confidential. and izzy does, because he’s good like that when he wants to be, but ed’s a notorious scatterbrain and stede just assumes that izzy will go off about his business so he’s not too concerned, and the two of them get sidetracked and probably end up spending a few hours in the quarters just fucking about. imagine their surprise when they finally leave and see izzy sitting right where they asked him to, visibly downtrodden with wet pants because ed never told him to leave, he just told him to wait outside, so he waited and waited and waited until he couldn’t hold it anymore. poor izzy doesn’t even hear the door open so he’s sure they’ve forgotten about him completely. cue the fluffy aftercare and absolute deluge of affection <3

OMG YES???? HOLY SHIT????

The duties of the first mate is to do as they're told by their captain. And if Ed wants him to wait here then he will stand guard like the loyal dog he is to Blackbeard

He can't even hear them so Izzy cannot make an estimated time they'll be done so, he continues to stand there, perhaps polishing his dagger to pass the time until he's unable to concentrate on the task.

Izzy already had to go before Ed had asked him to hang tight so now that he's alone, it's faaar more difficult for the man to keep this need underwraps. He glances down the hallway and takes to holding himself, leaning against the wall as he tries his fuking hardest to hold it- surely Ed will be finished soon, relieve him of his duties so that he can relive himself-

But, the minutes tick on with zero notions that Ed will be opening that door. Izzy grits his teeth, swearing under his breath when he feels the first jet of urine warming his white knuckled hands- that small relief is like heaven to him, god he's not gonna make it but, fuuuuck it's so tempting to let out juuust a bit more, he's wearing leather, one more leak won't even show up.

Too bad that little leak turns to a torrent of piss traveling down his legs, pooling beneath him, unable to stop😎 His knees wobble from just how good it felt and he sorta just, crouches, shuddering as he feels the urine dripping off him. Silently praying no one wanders by- cant be a good guard dog when you're soaked in your own piss

Eventually the door clicks open and the two Captains' gasp when they see the pitful look on Izzy's face as he's standing in a cold puddle-

Ed is like "Mate, you could have left to take a leak??"

But Izzy retorts with, "But what if something were to happen?? What kind of fucking first mate would I be then??"

So he's absolutely lavished with a nice bath (despite his protesting, Izzy does enjoy this type of apology ♡)

[rottingformerfirstmate]

Co-authored by  @biweatherman   and @blacklavenderbeard

Summary: Father Hands, a loyal priest of the Kraken, grapples with his devotion to his god and his hatred of Edward’s companion, Stede. As he balances a fickle god, a kind one he has never forgiven, and a seemingly incompetent crew, Izzy must also contend with his own perceptions of what it means to worship. [ SteddyHands, Rated M ]

Chapter: There's a Love in the Story (13/13) | WC: 2.9k

AO3

Warnings: None

Making the journey back to his flat is easier. Things seem to keep trending in that direction, filling Izzy with something he identifies to be hope. He doesn’t remember when he last felt this kind of true, all encompassing hope for the future of mankind, if he ever did, but he’s glad to have it settle into all the spaces where his bones used to be.

It is empty when he arrives, leading him to remember that just because it has been his mortal home does not mean that he, or the other gods, must congregate there. He considers going to Stede’s church, but the idea feels stranger now as a god than it had when he was devoted solely to the worship of the Kraken. The ocean, too, might be more home to Edward than Stede. He finds himself deciding to go to the beach, but not fully into the water, in hopes the middle ground might give him a good starting point for speaking to them. If there’s another way to communicate than arriving and hoping, he has yet to find it.

The beach he goes to is not the one where he used to stand and offer prayers to the waves, but a bit further north, on a rocky stretch where a lighthouse with chipped paint stands on a narrow peninsula. When the sun sets, it will likely cut paths of light across the deep sea. For now, though, it remains static and quiet.

He does not feel the presence of the gods in the way he did as a mortal. It’s like a warning, a tugging at his mind that someone is nearby, and it lasts for what feels like a long time before the storm clouds on the horizon begin to edge closer and the air shimmers with a short wave of warmth around him.

Tentacles chase the seafoam up the shore toward Izzy, digging winding paths through the sand. Footsteps sound behind him. Izzy lets out a deep breath that he never brings back into his lungs. “Is there a better way to contact you than going someplace and thinking about it?” he asks before he sees either of their faces.

“If you just say our names we’ll hear you. Ed, not the Kraken,” comes Ed’s voice. Seconds later, he comes stepping out of the waves. Izzy wonders if he’s taking a more human form because he prefers it, or if he does it out of a desire to make Izzy feel more comfortable by providing at least a sliver of normalcy within all these changes. Whether Ed is doing it for himself or for Izzy, he still feels grateful. Ed’s human form allows him to reach out for Ed’s hand, traveling together arm in arm has almost made it instinct at this point. It’s only when he’s almost brushing against Ed that he hesitates, wondering whether this is a step too far. He knows that Ed and Stede told him he was no burden, so there appears to be more keeping them here than mere obligation but there’s still a chance he’s misread the situation.

Before he can pull away Ed is taking his hand in his, giving it a small squeeze, smiling at him so bright the glow of it could rival the sun and tugging Izzy closer. Stede appears behind him, slinging an arm against Izzy’s back, nodding slightly as Izzy relaxes into his grip. Stede is warm against him, like the sunbaked stones beneath his feet.

“How was the service?” Stede asks.

“It was good, nice. I think I might be starting to get it.”

Pressed close between the two of them, Izzy realizes he may also get the infatuation they have with one another. He’s always understood love of the Kraken, of Ed, but he’s had a harder time with Stede. Love is a strange thing, intertwined with worship for years when he had nothing and no one but the Kraken. He didn’t feel or participate in real devotion to Stede as an adult. He thinks that what he feels is still love, at least for the Kraken, but it’s too similar to the web of tangled emotions he feels for Stede to be certain of the thought. Love among gods is its own beast. It’s more than he felt as a mortal, but in a lot of ways, somewhat empty. He does not get to feel the love in his blood and in the air he breathes, but he does get to taste it when he opens his mouth to speak.

“I ran into Jack today,” he says. One of Edward’s tentacles curls around his leg, but unlike when he was mortal, it doesn’t burn or bruise in its wake. It’s just another way that he’s held. “He wanted to get my name.”

“If he gives you any trouble, let me know,” Ed says, voice low, the tentacle’s grip on Izzy tightening slightly. “He likes his fun, but he knows better than to mess with the hierarchy.”

“He’s a dick,” Stede adds, and Izzy’s unsure whether it’s his way of agreeing with Ed or a statement in its own right.

“Yeah, but harmless enough to you now.”

“He was at the church. What if he goes after the congregation, especially the crew? I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect them,” Izzy says, words rushing out. It’s strange to feel consumed with fear, mind flashing between different scenarios that all end with the church in flames and his followers screaming for help, while his body remains completely calm.

“Then we’ll protect them. They were our crew too,” Stede says, voice firm.

“I can’t keep just relying on you two for help, what sort of fucking god am I?”

Edward takes Izzy’s face in his free hand, grip gentle but firm. Once their eyes meet, he says, “It takes time, Iz. Time you have a lot of now, so don’t worry so much. We’re here with you.”

“It doesn’t…” Izzy trails off, but doesn’t pull away from Ed. “I feel like I should just know. You both seem to.”

“And we’ve had centuries of practice,” Stede tells him.

Izzy shuts his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Edward or Stede anymore. Without being able to hear and feel their thoughts like the mortals, it allows him a moment’s reprieve to think about the rest of time splayed out before him. He does have centuries. He has forever.

“I’m going to be around for centuries,” he says, mostly to hear the words aloud. “Everyone I’ve ever met is going to die and their whole lives will be just a second of mine.”

Izzy has spent his entire mortal life trying to be alone, flinching away from any sort of connection. Even as a priest he kept his congregation at an arm's length. It’s almost cruel that right at the end he found people who forced him to care about them, only for them to get snatched away. A year passed by like a lazy morning, and they’ll just keep rushing by him, faster and faster. There will be a point when he comes by the church and there will be nothing left of the crew but a neat row of grave stones.

“That will get easier too. You’ll find yourself getting better at appreciating the little moments instead of trying to grab onto every single one.”

“Anyways, you’re not going to be alone. You’ve got us,” Ed adds with a shrug. “That’s not nothing, is it?”

While Izzy gets what they mean, that doesn’t make it easier in the now. “I wish it wasn’t so hard.”

“Hard things are worth doing though, aren’t they?” Stede asks.

“They are, but-” Izzy cuts himself off. “I don’t think- I know that I haven’t earned this. I shouldn’t be a god, I shouldn’t even be alive, I-”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because Stede is suddenly pressing in close, lips brushing against his and everything freezes as Izzy’s brain struggles to make sense of this new reality. Stede seems to take the wrong message from Izzy’s lack of response, pulling away. Izzy finds himself grabbing at the god before he can get far, keeping him close.

The idea of kissing a god, of kissing Stede, had seemed so out of reach that he hadn’t even contemplated the possibility before. Not really. But now that he is faced with it he realises he wants nothing more. Izzy moves closer, unsure what to do with his hands and deciding to keep them where they are, bunched up in the teal fabric of Stede’s coat, as he kisses him. Stede seems content to let Izzy take the lead, slowly kissing him back and smiling at Izzy as they pull away like he hung the stars themselves.

“Sorry, I probably should have asked, but you just seemed so panicked and I wasn’t sure how else to reassure you that you should be here with us. There’s no one I’d rather we share godhood with than you, Israel.”

Izzy nods silently, still lost for words as he gathers his bearings. He hasn’t kissed anyone in quite some time, come to think of it. Not since one stolen in a dingy alley when he had yet to grow into his face. This is worth the waiting, though, he thinks, because maybe he would not appreciate this the same if the intimate act was more familiar with him.

Before he can manage to get his scattered thoughts together, Ed kisses him. It’s just as passionate as Stede’s kiss, but some of the tenderness is forgone in favor of a gentle bite to his bottom lip. There lies the sting that Izzy has always associated with the Kraken. It’s just tamer now. Manageable. He finds it not just bearable, but pleasurable, to experience any kind of pain doled out by Edward.

Izzy waits for the guilt to well up at wanting something from Edward so selfishly as he pulls him in for another kiss. While the way he runs his hands reverently across Edward’s skin could be called an act of devotion, or worship even, it’s clear he’s doing it for his own pleasure as much as he’s doing it for Ed. The guilt never comes. Instead, all he feels is a buzz that is equal parts excitement and nerves, and it pushes him toward Stede.

Izzy isn’t certain how much time passes in a blur of discarded clothes, revealed skin and frantic touches as the three of them try and learn everything about each other's bodies. Stede and Edward seem to know each other intimately already, likely from practice and countless opportunities like this one, but his is a new canvas for them to explore, as theirs is to him.

But as Izzy lays naked afterward, his body boneless as he sinks into the sand beside Ed and Stede, he is certain he could have spent an eternity in that moment. He’s unsure if it always would have felt that good, or if godhood has made it better, but he knows he has never experienced bliss like he just had. Some of the grief at losing all that had been his life before has washed away when presented with the potential for pleasure that godhood can give him.

He begins to conceptualize worship in another way. It can also be the kind of love that was painstakingly kissed into his skin like a blessing. Waiting was worth this. Everything was. He allows himself to guide new paths beneath Ed’s collarbones with his fingertips, find new unmarked places along Stede’s throat where he might be able to leave his own fleeting bruises, and revel in the simple pleasure of being with them.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

As many times as Izzy has said those words before, all with the same revering tone, it has never been like this: on equal footing, not allowing excessive gratification at the mere act of being acknowledged, but welcomed as someone who stands next to the gods as one of their own.

“I think I know what I’d like to be called.”

“Yeah?” Ed asks, a lazy smile on his face as he stretches out on the beach, skin glowing under the midday sun.

“I think I’d quite like to tell the church,” Izzy says. His first followers should be the first people to hear his new name. He feels as if they were as much a part of his ascension as anything else.

“We can go now?” Stede offers, already pulling on his clothes and trying to smooth down his golden curls. It’s a strangely mortal action, considering Izzy’s fairly certain he could just will his hair to sit the way he wants it.

“Yeah I’d quite like that.” Izzy says, and a few moments later they’re holding out their hands to him.

He takes their hands in his and keeps his eyes open as they travel. The church shows the markings of having withstood catastrophe while he was gone; wind and rain have beaten down the path as surely as footfalls, sun has bleached the grey paint paler, and black charring creeps up the side of a wall beneath what appears to be a hasty patch while they await better materials. He tries not to think of the ways the actions of other gods impact those he follows, though it was a sure fact as a follower of the Kraken when he was mortal.

When he goes inside, he notes that Ed and Stede wait for him just outside the arching doors, giving him privacy when he walks in to find Olu and Buttons tending to the altar. Jim must be nearby, as they’re almost never far from Oluwande, but the others must be off on different activities. He considers it a small miracle, perhaps one of his own making, that he has always stumbled upon a busy property with fully seated pews when he’s come in the past.

His feet make audible steps as he approaches them, leading both to turn around. Buttons still has his bird perched atop his head, though she seems agitated by the church or Izzy’s presence, he can’t tell which. She remains with them, however, so Izzy takes it as a polite acknowledgement from Anne as opposed to a slight.

“It’s good to see you,” Olu says first, stepping forward before seeming to think the better of it. “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” Izzy agrees, studying the few whitish grey hairs that speckle Oluwande’s beard. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

Buttons doesn’t seem put off by this fact, though when he does move a little closer, it’s with a hobble that lends to his already old age drawing nearer to the end of his life. “Time is different to a god, sir, I think you’d know that.”

“You’re right. I wanted to-” the words feel wrong and too heavy in Izzy’s mouth. “I’ve come to tell you my name.”

They both straighten up in preparation to receive the information. It reminds Izzy of the way he once stood in early mornings in another lifetime. Reassured and warm, he finds in himself the courage to speak his name aloud for the very first time.

“You can call me the Basilica,” Izzy declares, and he’s pleased by how right it feels to say it, as if it was his name all along and it’s only now that he’s discovered the fact instead of something he’s chosen.

“It’s a strong name,” Buttons says, giving an approving nod.

“It’s a type of church, isn’t it?” Olu asks.

“Aye.”

“It suits you. It’s a place of worship but also of sanctuary. Makes sense,” Olu says with a nod and something settles in Izzy’s chest, a sense of belonging and purpose.

In the back of his mind, he thinks he knows why the name came to him, but it feels right that Oluwande gets it too. He knows he made a good choice making him his first priest; the community is in good hands. In time, he will eventually have to appoint someone else, and figure out how to keep the congregation going, but that doesn’t seem so daunting a task anymore. He knows who he is now, as well as what his place is meant to be in the pantheon, making everything else feel not so difficult to parse out. And when he can feel Ed and Stede’s presence in the back of his mind, there is the added comfort of knowing he doesn’t have to work it all out on his own.

With a final acknowledging nod, Izzy turns and leaves the church, allowing the warmth and surety coursing through his being to stain the walls and linger behind him. He is the one who reaches out this time, taking Ed’s hand in his right one and Stede’s in his left, content with the understanding that this was always meant to come.

“Alright, love?” Ed asks, squeezing his hand.

Izzy nods. “Perfect.”

He remembers the church’s nearness to the water, and takes his first steps toward it once more. The shoreline is a place of familiarity and rebirth at once, and when they find themselves on the sand of the beach where he offered every minute of his life in service, the ocean seems to welcome him with its gentle laps at his feet. He could drift off into its depths, safe and content, floating atop the seafoam and feeling the rays of sunshine on his face. Ed lifting him up, Stede meeting him, both equal parts of balancing all he’s ever been and wanted to be.

Today, however, he does not need to drift. He’s content to stand like a beacon of all the things he never had, known and loved with every nerve of his body that burned away in his ascension from humanity.